#i wanted to do another alex one so it’d be even but all of his are too awkward ill have to have a think

[elipheleh]

some rwrb phone lockscreens/wallpapers. (part 2 part 3 part 4)

if you like/use them please reblog, i’d really appreciate it. the best way for others to see this is if people reblog the post rather than just liking it.

[leclsrc]

3k celeb toimeee ~_~ darting eyes with pregnant reader and best friends lily and alex please? love u mother

guessing game – ...?

Your two closest friends scramble to guess who got you knocked up.

auds here... hi love u didnt specify who u want the baby daddy to be... so i spun it into something of the sort bahaha

Alex finds the plastic positive test first, on the floor of his bathroom. On instinct, he literally screams for Lily, who rushes over to him and tells him it’s not hers, and for a minute Alex thinks oh Christ, is it mine? It’s only after Lily slaps his shoulder that they begin thinking of who might own it, thinking it’d really only belong to the only other person they love enough to let pee in their flat.

In a flurry of panic, they ransack the place trying to find you (it’s a three bedroom, so not too much ransacking is done, really) and eventually find peace when they peek into the rooftop deck and find you watching the overcast, dreary city with a blank expression on your face. You turn when you hear their footsteps on the cement, features softening instantly.

“You freaked us out,” Lily says, but she’s hugging you tight. “Alex saw it.”

“I thought it was mine for a second,” he says, earning himself another light shove. You laugh, but it doesn’t really hold with your anxiety, your anticipation, your nerves. You know, you can feel their burning questions creeping up on you, but they hold back for your sake.

“Are you okay?” Alex adds, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You sigh, shrugging.

“Sure. I’m keeping it, I guess. I’m just nervous. I haven’t even told the d—” Your voice hitches into silence, and you purse your lips. “Yeah.”

You can tell they’re absolutely dying to ask you who it is, but you don’t want to speak it aloud.

It’s just because when you do, it’ll feel so much more real. So real, so damning, once there’s a name to the mysterious figure, once they know who he is. But they’re your best friends, and just based on their eyebrows furrowing and eyes darting millimeter to millimeter, you can pick up on their inner monologues, their musings, and the theories they will no doubt share to one another over dinner or beer when you’re gone.

—

“Paul.” Lily says, tossing the stuffed bear to her boyfriend. He takes it and holds it, humming contemplatively. “Alex, it’s him. That’s the last guy she slept with, like, four weeks ago. And they did it twice I think.”

“Yeaaaaah, but. Yeesh. Paul?” He grimaces, face souring as if he’d just eaten a lemon wedge. “He was ugly.”

She laughs. “Then it means our best friend is going to have an ugly baby. Throw me the bear.”

“Oh—aha! Ahhh-ha! It can’t be Paul, she was in California last month, remember?! She had that whole work thing. And he was in Europe. Can’t make a baby over Skype, now can you.” He pumps his eyebrows and throws the bear, satisfied with his rebuttal as he watches his girlfriend stutter for her own. 

“Maybe she had a one night stand with someone in California?” Lily hums. “Did you know anyone who was there last month?”

She pouts to herself, deep in thought. She’s worried for you, above all, but she can’t knock the curiosity out of herself. It seems weird that neither she or her boyfriend are even remotely able to pinpoint the guy’s identity at once, mostly because they both know you so well. Lily especially, because you’re not in the business of spilling hookup secrets to Alex (he gets wind of it via Lily instead), and she had herself convinced she’d heard almost all of it.

“No, I didn’t see anything. Lots of drivers were on off-time last month, so it was all personal trips. But if she got knocked up a bit before L.A., she did go to that gala where a few drivers were hanging out, too.” He makes grabby hands for the bear, but Lily holds it out of reach, still confused and lost in thought.

She was so sure it was Paul—he was the only guy you told her about over the last few months. Sure, there were flings, but they were terribly short-lived, and that was only because you’re not one to date for a while. “The timeline doesn’t add up, but. Okay, who was there?”

“Um. Charles, and Carlos.”

“So it might be them.”

“Yeah, but slim chance.”

Grumbling, she tosses the bear back. “You win,” she sighs. “We’ll see. I’m totally blanking.”

“So am I,” Alex responds, evidently bummed.

—

Yuki hosts birthday dinner with the people on the grid he can “tolerate,” he said, which of course started with Pierre and Nyck, seated on either side of the celebrant. Plus ones are allowed, so Alex brought Lily, too, and Yuki loves you too much to discount you from the guest list, so the three of you are sitting next to each other. Charles, and Lando occupy the last two seats.

“Remember that gala you went to last month?” Lily asks in faux-nonchalance.

“Oh, yeah. Carlos and I had way too much vodka that time, like jeeez.” You make a face of disgust.

Alex squeezes Lily’s hand so hard she has to contain a squeal. They’ve got you pinned.

—

An hour into the dinner, your eyes begin to dart back and forth, breaths leaving you in quiet little huffs, which is your easiest tell—you’re nervous. Anticipatory. Bumbling. Sometime after the collective effort of teaching Pierre how to use chopsticks and watching the wooden utensil fly away and into the restaurant’s open aquarium, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.

Immediately, your departure sends Alex and Lily into sleuth mode again. 

She extracts a pen from her purse and clicks it a few times, reviewing the facts. One, you haven’t told the dad yet, you said, which means there’s no awkward air between the two of you. Two, it’s someone on the paddock, or someone friends with someone on the paddock (the only clue you told them, and a really useless one considering how big social circles run in racing).

Its Carlos? she writes on a napkin, passing it to Alex.

DUNNO…. Maybe is the response. How bout Yuki? “What’s your birthday wish, Yukino?” Lando asks as she writes; Lily makes an attempt to look engaged but half-fails, eyes trained on her written words.

Are u crazy she scribbles. Lando?

“To travel outside of work,” Yuki says. “Be by myself, or with a friend. Taste food everywhere.” She wouldnt sleep with him if he paid her, Alex writes furiously quickly after paying the driver a long, scrutinizing glance.

“I heard of a cool place somewhere in Vietnam,” Lily chimes in to seem involved, but she doesn’t look up from her writing. Ok… so it’s not a driver?

She passes it to Alex and looks up. “They sell the best pho.”

“If you like Asian food, mate, Nobu is good, too,” Charles offers, smiling.

Alex passes the tissue, now worn thin with the writing, back. Idk. I bet it is tho. Doobius. She reads over it a few times in a cross between amusement and what she can only describe as being totally weirded out.

ITS DUBIOUS, she corrects, and for good measure she underlines the U several times. They’re losing the plot, distracted.

“I only hear the best about that place,” Nyck quips. “What Nobu did you go to?”

SORRY IM NOT AN EXPERT MISS HE

“California, in L.A.”

I dont think theres a single word spelled like that Alex

Pierre makes a curious noise. “Los Angeles? I didn’t know you went there, mate. When?”

Ok miss expert comes the funny reply.

“Last month,” Charles says.

Youre such a di

She pauses as she writes, waiting for herself to piece together why his sentence means so much. Nobu. California. L.A.

Last month.

The words register, click in her mind. In unison, Alex and Lily’s wide eyes immediately snap up to Charles’ relaxed figure, and he notices, laughing a bit nervously. No way, they’re thinking. The answer’s dropped right into their laps.

Now visibly stuffy, Charles smiles politely. “What is going on?”

“You—!” Alex raises a finger, ready to make his epiphany verbal in his fit of excitement, but at the last moment spots you walking back in, dabbing your lip gloss in place. He deflates. “Y—you, you—are a fan of sushi?!”

Charles blinks. “Um… sure.”

Lily makes a show of happiness. “That’s great!” she chirps, laughing phonily. “So great!”

Alex nods along. “So great, so great!”

You slide into your seat, smiling. “Hi. What’s so great?”

“Oh,” Lily says, laughing smugly and meeting your eyes. “Oh, you have no idea.”

[ctimenefic]

uhh sooo this needs fic for science (and me) pls could you oblige

always and forever my darling. thank you for this absolute treat of a photo set. you'll notice I basically didn't get past photo one, hope that's alright

“Can you do my back?”

George sounds fucked out; that’s the only reason Alex cracks open an eye, to check the sun and sea and sand haven’t decided to challenge him personally on making George William Russell achieve ultimate bliss. From his own lounger he can just about see George’s face smushed into the crook of his elbow, the corner of his mouth tipped up, and what is no doubt a pleading look unfortunately entirely concealed behind sunglasses. 

“Please,” he adds, and Alex can’t tell if he imagines eyelashes fluttering madly beyond the dark lenses. “I’ll get tan lines.”

“Just take your shorts off,” he grumbles back. He has; an artful grecian fold of towel is all that lies between him and cockburn. It’d been a faff to get it just so, and he’s at that itchy-good stage of his tanning, where sweat’s beading on his skin enough to make it feel tight and stretched, but not uncomfortable. A primitive pleasure. Not something to interrupt with the slime of factor five.

George hmphs into his arm. “It’s not a nudist beach.”

“It’s a private beach. On a private island.” Alex tries to sound annoyed, but it’s actually a fucking marvel that George’s inhibitions reset on a goldfish-like timer; it doesn’t seem to matter how many times Alex fucks him til he shouts on the sand, or sends him back to the villa glistening chin-to-chest with his own come, a few hours later it’s back to baseline, and Alex gets to make a spectacle out of him all over again.

“Aleex.” It’s always like that, stretched out just long enough to be noticed, but short enough to read like a typo, sound slurred and drunk and happy, like George just wants his name on his lips a little longer. And it’s always enough to work, Alex has to concede, as he scrabbles in George’s beach tote for the spray. 

“Alright princess,” Alex snarks, but even that can’t shift George’s smug expression. He straddles George’s thighs and over-spritzes til George’s back is gleaming wet with the stuff. It’s shiny, and smells faintly of cucumber; it makes him think of his sisters doing spa days at home, face masks and fluffy slippers. George might like that.

Another spritz for good measure and George huffs. “That’s expensive.”

“You’ll get another win bonus after the break,” Alex retorts, fond. He follows it up with a smooth press of both palms, right the way up George’s back, either side of his spine, and down his arms, and George melts under him. The cucumber scent darkens as it meets skin and sweat; Alex feels thirsty even as his mouth waters. He skims up the sides of George’s ribs next, even though George could obviously have reached there himself; lets the pads of his fingers linger in each hollow just a second. There’s not a part of George he hasn’t touched, but there are places he hasn’t memorised yet. It’s summer. They have time. 

When he glides his palms up to George’s neck, rubs the suncream with his fingertips right up to the base of his hairline, George shivers and stretches like a cat under him, pliant and satisfied, and it takes more of the weight of a bad half season off Alex’s shoulders than a dozen hours of sunbathing and swimming could. He presses his thumbs in at the top of George’s traps, revels in the open mouth moan he barely muffles against his arm. 

“Maybe I should take my shorts off after all,” George murmurs, smug - and there it is, there’s the fucking play. He wiggles a little, arse suddenly straining to escape his Hilfiger swim trunks.  

Alex swats his shoulder. “Hussy.” Just to be petty, he slides over George’s arse instead, wedges his knees against George’s ribs and lets some of his weight sit there against his mid-back. That’ll teach him not to ask for what he wants flat out. 

And then George shifts his arms - moves his head round, to give Alex a look, maybe, or just to get comfy - and his shoulders pull in. Just a fraction. Just enough to turn the long line of his spine into a gully between thick, strong muscle. Just enough to catch the head of Alex’s dick where it sat soft against one of his vertebrae, and squeeze.

George doesn’t even notice, that’s the thing. But Alex - Alex can see it, how fucking fast he’s getting hard at the feel, the look of it, the pink of him against the soft brown of George’s tan. He can imagine how it might-

No. No, that’s not- He’s heard of blowing someone’s back out, but it’s not literal, it’s an expression. It’s George last night, shiny eyed and weak all over, when Alex gave him fingers to suck and fed him ice cubes and mango slices and stayed inside him until he was hard again, because he could, because it’s summer and they have time. 

He’s not going fuck George’s back. He’s not. He’s- he can be normal about this. Even if it would be like when his ex-girlfriend would lie him flat on the floor, core tensed, and then run her pussy over his cock, slide back and forth until her thighs shook and she was dripping wet - actually dripping, fat drops he could hear hitting the skin of his stomach, his dick. Like that, but better, because it would be George stuck just taking it, feeling it, not even able to watch as Alex fucked up into the tight space between his shoulderblades.

He’s utterly hard now, dark and straining. A drop of precome appears. If he moved, it’d smear on George. He could rub it in. He could smear more. 

He could watch his come sluice down the whole long length of George’s spine, pool in the small of George’s back, or slide down to his arse, push it inside and fuck him there too, fuck every place he could be fucked until he was more inside George than out. 

He’d had an idle plan to finger George until he gaped for their last night on the island - not fisting, that was one of the words George couldn’t say, had blinked at rapidly when Alex had tried probably the world’s most ill-advised conversation on kink. But as close as he could get without George bolting. Four, and his mouth, until George cried, late enough into the night that he’d squirm on the jet home in the morning, empty and needy. Maybe then he’d finally let Alex fuck him mid-flight, whatever the pilot might hear. 

George shifts again, a tiny movement, but enough that Alex hisses at the change, the heat of a fresh centimetre of George’s skin under the head of him. Precome rolls down, splatters silently out of sight, in the gully of his spine. Alex closes his eyes for a breath.

“Georgie,” he starts. “Be a very good girl for me and stay still.”

[cha-melodius]

💘 firstprince please :)

💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss  (I skipped ahead on prompts so I could write the companion piece to this ficlet. if you were hoping for fake relationship, watch this space, I have another one of these hearts to do lol. read all the kiss ficlets)

Alex doesn’t know how he got himself into this situation.

To be fair, coming out was entirely his idea. It’d been too long since he let loose and had fun, so when a girl in his econ class told him about this party, he’d put on his tightest pair of jeans and crop top, styled his curls just so, and dragged Liam along with him for good measure (Alex loves his best friend, but the dude needs to get out more).

So far he’s had fun dancing, and he’s been hit on by plenty of very enthusiastic girls, but nothing’s really clicked. There’s something else thrumming under his skin that he can’t put a finger on. It didn’t really help that he nearly ran into Liam making out with Pez Okonjo on his way to the bathroom. Obviously it’s fine that he was, Alex knows (now) that Liam is gay, and he’s free to kiss whoever he wants. It’s not like Alex was jealous. If anything, it was kinda hot—they looked good together, Liam’s pale skin against Pez’s dark tones, which is frankly not a thought Alex is sober enough to deal with right now.

Alex is also not sober enough deal with running into Pez later, who has a tall, blond, ridiculously hot friend in tow this time. Blondie is wearing a plain button down and khakis, like he’s at a business lunch, but somehow the way his shirt is cuffed at the elbows and unbuttoned at the top to let his collarbones peek out is more alluring than most of the half-dressed coeds at the party. Then there’s the way his golden hair flops over his forehead and his blue eyes shine in the low light, and it’s a lot, ok? Fuck.

It’s honestly a bit of a relief when Alex gets dragged away and convinced to do some kind of scavenger hunt, which sounds kinda dumb, but whatever. It’ll keep his mind off Pez’s hot friend. He works his way down the list, taking shots and doing ridiculous dances and convincing people to give him their numbers (not hard), until he hits one in particular—make out with someone you met tonight.

He’s met plenty of people tonight. Lots of girls who’d probably be willing, honestly. Somehow, only one person sticks out in his head.

Apparently he’s not even fucking subtle about it, which is embarrassing. Liam catches him looking down at his list, then back up at Henry across the room, and slings an arm around his shoulders.

“Go on. Ask him,” Liam goads, grinning drunkenly at Alex. “I think he’s into you.”

As if on cue, Henry glances over at them, then quickly looks away again when he sees them staring.

“You’re on drugs,” Alex scoffs, trying and failing to shove him away as something inside his stomach turns over at the thought that Henry might be into him. It’s probably just the liquor. “Maybe he likes you.”

“Nah,” Liam says confidently. “You wanted a wingman. I’m winging. Wingmanning? I dunno, man. Just go kiss him, ok?”

Alex can feel his face getting hot. “Fuck off.”

Liam’s grin goes sharp and wicked. “I dare you.”

Fuck. The best friend dare is sacred. If Alex doesn’t do it, he’ll have to do something else later that’s like ten times worse. Fuck.

Alex crosses the room in some kind of daze, the rest of the party falling away around him. Is he really doing this? Apparently so. He stops by Henry’s elbow, and the other man turns to look at him.

“Hey,” Alex says. Amazing opening line, truly. Fuck, he’s an idiot.

“Alex, right?” Henry replies with a little smile. Alex nods. “What’s up?”

Alex swallows hard. “Can I kiss you?” he blurts. Henry’s eyes go wide, and Alex holds up the sheet of paper. “It’s a dare.”

“Oh,” Henry says, sounding almost disappointed.

“But also, like, you’re really hot and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and I’m not gay but I— I might be bi, I guess, I don’t really know because my best friend is gay and I never thought I was really into guys but I kinda want to kiss you, I mean, I really want to kiss you, if you’re into it, and oh my god, I’m such a fucking idiot, please forget I ever said any of this to you.”

Alex turns on his heel, ready to flee the house and probably the country, but Henry catches him by the arm and pulls him back. Pulls him in, firmly, so that Alex has to tip his head up, and then Henry’s kissing him. Softly at first, but Alex whimpers and opens his mouth, tilting his head to slot their mouths more firmly together, the taste of cheap booze and sugary mixers blending on their tongues. Henry gets a hand into his hair and Alex likes that even more, likes the way Henry surrounds him, likes the way Henry's waist feels under his palms. Never wants it to end, actually.

Henry does eventually pull back, though. Sadly. Alex promises he doesn’t whine.

“So,” Henry murmurs. He still hasn’t let Alex go, and Alex is entirely ok with that. “Thoughts?”

“I think I need another. Y’know. To gather more evidence.”

“Another kiss?”

“Yeah,” Alex breathes. “Maybe more than one.”

Henry laughs, low and warm, and he kisses Alex again.

[meaninglessrambles]

i don't like a gold rush.

ship: spencer agnew x gn!reader.

summary: it’s really hard working for someone as pretty as spencer.

warnings: none, really. spencer is technically in a position of power which could make for some potentially icky dynamics if anything were to actually happen. but, if even the thought of that makes you uncomfy, read with caution.

author’s note: i always considered gold rush to be the delusional girlie (in the most gender neutral way ofc) anthem so i thought it’d be fun to do something playing off that.

my mind turns your life into folklore, i can't dare to dream about you anymore.

you're spiraling. you can feel it as you sit there, chin cupped in the palm of your hand, eyes—despite your best efforts, no, seriously, you're trying—peering steadily over the top of the monitor, you're over the edge, crossing metaphorical lines you hadn't even thought possible a matter of months ago.

the butterflies you once thought had long gone dormant, the giggles you can't suppress, the almost desperate desire for even the tiniest bit of attention—it's all so utterly unserious. you're too old for all this, having left behind the silly school yard crushes decades ago and, yet, here you were, ogling your boss from across the room.

he's hunched over alex's desk, iphone held eye level as he swipes a digit across the screen. "look," he guffaws, "you see what i'm seeing? dude's straight jorking it. we're so playing this."

spencer's enthusiasm, so endearing, is quickly tuned out as you drop your gaze to his hand, pressed hard against the laminate, fingers splayed out, holding the rest of his body upright, steady. then up to his forearm—you don't know who half of the little characters are or what they did to deserve being immortalized in such a fashion—and the sleeves of his shirt. this one you don't recognize but you've made yourself familiar with the rest of his wardrobe, wondering how various articles would look thrown around your room or draped over your own body as you tip-toe out of the room, ready to make breakfast or shower or run errands.

for all intents and purposes, it's wrong. feeling this way is one thing, but fantasizing like this another. this is someone you spend forty-plus hours a week with, your boss. but hey, you're not the first person to fall for a silly little guy. a silly little guy with pretty eyes and nice hair... and a killer sense of humor.. and charming disposition. and... oh, fuck.

you're not the first person.

and there it is. just like every time you let your imagination run a little too wild, you have that moment where you crash back to earth, when your bubble pops.

this isn't just a fun little workplace crush on some co-worker—or superior, whoops. sometimes you forget just due to familiarity, but spencer is a highly sought—lusted—after internet personality. your thoughts have been thought before, your feelings are not new or special or unique, any number of people are having the same daydreams.

reality hits as you sit back in your seat and let out a huff of air. "okay," you mutter, tapping your cheeks with just enough to force to really get you to focus, "get it together."

everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.

[neetily]

KINKMAS; PRETTY LIGHTS — FT. ALEX

— ✧ warnings: Establish Relationship, Breeding, Creampie, Drool/Saliva, Cunnilingus, Cervix Sex, Size Difference, Restraints, petname mommy, petname daddy — ✧ word count: 7,569 — ✧ genre: smut (18+)

— ✧ A/N: reposting from my old account since i was asked to! formatting might be off, but it's still readable.

There’s no doubt in his mind now that his blushed cheeks and high temperature are just a result of your warm farmhouse, the cold winter wind leading you to hike the degrees up a notch or two despite his playful flirts of reassuring you that he’ll warm you up another way. The lewd connotations of his suggestion merely a jest — until now. No longer can he simply blame the thermostat, sweating profusely as he sits patiently on your living room couch as you gather all the components necessary for decorating the tree of the Winter Star. You’re sat nicely on the floor, sifting through buckets of baubles and trinkets, scrutinising his own collection of ornaments for the tree with keen eyes. He thinks you’re just the cutest thing ever, and he has half a mind to put you atop the tree since he’s been adamant from the start that out of all the options you shine the brightest.

But see, that’s exactly his issue right now. You’re cute. Too cute. And it’d be a shame if he had to go and ruin the peaceful domesticity of the day just because he can’t keep his hormones in check, so he tries his hardest to stay wholesome. Does his best to remain on good behaviour despite how difficult it is when so much new is happening around him, butterflies fluttering in his tummy and chest in sheer adoration for what he sees before him. New wife, new traditions, new meaning to his once lonely celebrations and maybe, by the end of the night, a new family to care for. Fuck, he can’t help himself, imagining his future with you on such a special occasion. The love he holds for you easily turned into lust with how excited he is to share the holiday with you, tutting in frustration as his palm automatically grinds against his cock in secret — you’re too busy with picking the shiniest trimmings.

Though thankfully you pull him out of his self serving thoughts before he’s even half hard, head cocked cutely to the side as if the universe was working against him. Stop that, it’s unfair how pretty you are, he thinks. But instead, all the comes out is a short hum matched with a warm smile, letting you know that he’s attentive and listening. And a stop of his hand, resting it atop his thigh instead so that you don’t catch him acting like a pervert.

“What do you think? Silver or red?” You innocently ask, holding up both colours of tinsel for him to pick between. He’s never been the type to care much for the particulars of decorating, but it’s different now that it’s with you. So he pauses for a moment, as if deeply considering the two choices before deciding. “Definitely silver.” He nods, standing to stretch a hand out towards you. You take it and he holds tight, helping you lift to your feet so that he can help wrap the tinsel around the tree. A small act of loving service, though one he hopes will get his mind off the thoughts of breeding you to stay warm. That’s it, he just want to warm you up, look after you. Totally isn’t some sort of lewd personal desire, no.

It’s cute how excited you get at decorating, how every little detail has to be perfect before moving on to the next. He’s already helped you set up the tree itself, being sure to follow your every instruction on how to position each individual fern of the whole damn thing without a single word of annoyance. Because it’s you, and his heart skips a beat at the sight of you so giddy and concentrated. It makes all the bossing around worth it. He’d do anything for you, you know? His little wife, happily helping with whatever you need simply because it’s now his job to always have you smiling. And, though he’d never admit it out loud, he thinks he’s doing a pretty good job of it so far. Softly laughing with you as he spins you once to the cheesy stereotypical christmas songs you have faintly playing in the background, big strong arms helping to keep you steady enough as he twirls you to the tree.

“My wife.” He bows after reaching the tree in the corner of your living room, standing upright after his excessive show with both palms facing up in a seeking of the tinsel. It still feels novel, the whole wife thing. But God does it feel good, his chest tight with affection when you playfully giggle at his silly display.

He doesn’t have many traditions himself, though he’s always been a fan of Evelyn’s cookies around this time of year. It’s not that he doesn’t care per se, but more that he hasn’t had much of a reason to care for these celebrations. This time of year always leaving him with a somewhat sour taste in his mouth, missing his mother more than he’d like to admit. But when he watches you with stars in your eyes and bright rosy cheeks as you plan how to best lay some admittedly cheap sparkly string around an obviously fake winter tree he can’t help but feel a little hope in his heart.

“My dear husband.” You play back, and it’s hard to ignore the twitch in his pants at the title you give him. The tickle of the decorative tinsel only causing him to blush some more as you hand it to him, keeping hold of the other end to yourself and leaving him hoping that you think nothing more of his tinted cheeks than the heat of your home. But still the nagging feeling of lust remains, the inherently lewd experience of spending time together with you as an official family. Has him wanting to add to it, you know? Increase the members of your new familial unit in the spirit of giving, regardless of how preoccupied with decorating you are.

“Here?” He questions, kneeling and pointing at the bottom of the tree as a good place to start. He trusts your judgement more than his own on what looks good, and shaking his head to rid the dirty thoughts from his head has barely been working, so he attempts to distract himself with your voice.

“Mhm.” You merely reply, too busy standing on your tippy toes to reach the highest point of the tree to see how the tinsel drapes best. It causes him to smile, knowing that the roles should be reversed given his bigger stature, but he amuses himself by watching you struggle for a few moments. If anything it helps his cock calm a little, busy watching you with heart eyes, content in the cute moment of bliss with the family he has. Though short lived as it is seeing as it doesn’t take you long before you plead down at him with big puppy dog eyes, his heart hurting in love at the sight.

“All right, all right.” He sighs, feigning annoyance as he gets back to his feet with his hand finding its way to your hip to rub absentmindedly at. “What seems t'be the problem, Missus Mulner?” His big cheesy grin heard well through his words. Still so novel calling you as such, heart fit to burst with the affection he holds for you. And It’s not that he isn’t already aware that you need his height for help, but rather that he’s having so much fun just being with you that he’s trying to prolong the night, stretch the time he has with you around himself so that it never ends. His cute little wife, needing his help. He’d do anything for you.

You playfully huff at his faked innocence and instead hand him your end of the decorations, sighing before standing on your tippy toes again, your back pressed to his chest as he situates himself directly behind you. It’s just so that he has a better idea of where you want it, he tells himself. Absolutely not so that he’s inevitably closer to you by any means, no. “Here.” You advise, directing him on where to start the tinsel trail. Reaching as high as you can and yet it’s still not enough, and he has to will himself not to buck into your ass as you bounce against his cock. Please don’t get hard, he begs himself, biting on his lower lip to try and concentrate on the task at hand despite your insistence on trying to reach that which you cannot. And God, it certainly isn’t just the heat anymore. The air of sex hanging thick in the no space left between his body and your own, blood rushing to his cock in defiance of his wants to just help. Your little jumps and bounces riling him up, coaxing him slowly but surely to give in to his desires as his hips twitch with want to roll against you—

“Oh! And I’ll go get the lights!” You announce, satisfied with your directions and promptly leaving him all alone to tend to the tree.

Ah, how he wants for you to tend to his cock instead.

There’s a part of him that’s convinced that you know what you’re doing, right? You must, keeping him teased on the precipice of giving him everything he wants, stringing him along in some sort of faux wholesome holiday game to test his limits. Well, if that’s the case, he’ll be sure to win one way or another. Coughing to hide the groan of frustration that slips as you leave his side, doing his best to remember every instruction you’ve given him besides the fat of your ass rubbing his cock and regrettably leaving him unable to recall much of anything but that feeling. Still, he tries. Throwing the sparkly string around the tree in what he thinks is a pretty enough job of things, leaning back to check in on you to see how you’re getting on with the monumental decision of which lights to pick. He says red. You say white. He says why not both? You agree.

You place one set of string lights to the side before marvelling at his tinsel work, the slight giggle you let out warming to his already red hot ears. “Looking good!” You compliment, fixing only a few areas to make sure it’s all settled properly. He loves you. God he loves you, happy to hear that you’re satisfied with his attempt at appeasement. Makes him think that you’ll be so good as a mother too, easily imagining tiny footsteps surrounding your beaming face that’s currently directed at him. Mommy Mulner. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? You turn to face him, white lights in hand and for a moment he’s stunned, both by how pretty you look when surrounded by the turned on lights and in awe of his imagination of you as a mother. You suit the title well. “Thanks for helping, ‘Lix.” You hum, calling him from his indulgent thoughts. “Lemme try and do these myself, kay? Since you helped so well with the tinsel and all.” You tease, winking his way to set his heart aflutter.

“Oh yeah?” He plays back, stepping away from the you and back to his seated position on your comfy couch. “Kay, good luck honey.” Ending his taunt with a whistle as you’re already trying to stretch to read the top of the tree, his gaze soft with affection as you giggle and huff to yourself with the light hearted mood settled in the room.

Which is exactly why he shouldn’t spoil things by staring at your ass as your back faces him, one of his arms stretching out against the top length of of the couch while the other rests against his inner thigh — cock quickly hardening at the mental image of you surrounded by two kids. His kids, spending precious christmas time together as a family. Not that he doesn’t appreciate you as his family right now, no! He loves you beyond words, so much so that he wants to add to the family with you. You’d make the best mother, he thinks. All soft and caring, he’s seen just as much from first hand experience. And fuck, the thought of grabbing your pretty little ass in his much larger palms to have you sit square on his cock is tempting to say the least. Watching with half-lidded eyes as you twist and turn around the tree, keeping his mouth shut as the pretty lights start to dangle from your frame in the cutest way possible, his gaze hazy under how dazzling you become. His pants tight at the sight of seeing you so lit up. More than the tree is at this point, if he’s honest.

And then you stumble. His reaction speed quick but not quick enough, a soft thud resounding in the room before he’s able to make it to you in time as you let out a short oof.

“Fuck- Babe, are y'all right?” He rushes, words short and snappy in his worry over your wellbeing. Anxious with upset that he couldn’t save you. Or at least he is until you let out a light laugh, shying away from his helping hands with rosy cheeks.

“Alex, love, I’m fine.” You pause briefly, looking around your immediate surroundings. That’s right, while you might not be hurt, you’re certainly in a sticky situation aren’t you? The many twists and turns you’ve done in an effort to make the Winter Star tree as pretty as possible instead resulting in a very decorated you, the lights tangled and bonding you together. It’s pretty. He’s dazzled. “Could use some help though.” You sheepishly smile, and his cock twitches in return.

“Yeah, yer no kiddin’.” He nods, jaw tight with restraint as he tries to get the thought of seeing you all tied up like this on the bed out of his mind, focusing on anything other than the way the strings dig into your soft skin to leave light marks in their wake. “Gimmie a sec.” He huffs, hovering over your half sitting frame to try and find the start of the tangle, though it’s difficult as your arms are bound together, legs left a little more free as the majority of the knotting resides around your back. Causes him to have to press further into you, cautious of how hard his cock has gotten from merely looking at you, doing his absolute most to not let his tip graze against you but it happens as he reaches behind to help de-tangle anyway. Course it does, his actions clumsy due to his size. An immediate moan rising to his throat at the feeling, one that he’s unable to keep quiet despite his best efforts.

And then there’s a pause. Both in his actions and your breath, a small dusting of pink on your cheeks when you realise what’s going on.

“Oh.” You let out and his heart stutters. Swallowing to try and wet his dry throat as he takes in your shocked expression.

“Fuck- Look, m'sorry. It’s jus’- Jus’-” Just what? He asks himself. Just that he loves his pretty little wife and wants to knock her up as an expression of that love. Just that he thinks you’re the cutest thing to ever grace this Earth, so pretty with the tacky decorative lights wrapped around your smaller than his body as you peer up at him with big eyes. Just that he wants to ruin you where you sit, knowing that you’re unable to free yourself from the stupid string you’ve wound yourself up in, having to fight the primal urge to take advantage of the situation in favour of wanting to let you enjoy the harmless fun the night offers. “Jus’ need ya.” He confesses, head hung low at his shameless want for you, the kind of confession that can only exist within the meagre space left between his lips and your own at his trying to free you.

“Well, It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” You tempt him, lopsided grin on your face drawing him closer, his own mouth hung open at how brazen you’re being. All previous self restraint seemingly fading with your sweet coax, the knowing that you won’t be able to escape his affections causing his hips to twitch into you, cock pressing insistently to your tummy to show you how serious he is. “Don’t joke like that.” He huffs, though the roll of his hips into you is enough to tell that he’s seriously considering it despite his words. “Been so hard all day jus’ lookin’ at'cha.” His voice tense, words terse as you do naught but grin back at him.

“I’m being serious.” You assure, wiggling around in your lit up restraints like a gift meant only for him. He’s too eager to unwrap you, fingers itching to touch that your words give him permission to. One arm keeping him held up while the other brushes tenderly against your exposed shoulder, your tank top doing little to keep you safe from his perversion. And then he stares at you, one brow cocked as if questioning, panting against your lips as his eyes flit down to them once, back to your eyes, gazing at your bedroom look and then back down to your lips for just a mere second before his leaking cock convinces him to dive in. Accepting your want just as much as his own. Giving in to how easy you make it for him, the soft squeal his surprise attack causes you to make in turn causing his pants to tighten, the arm keeping him up starting to tremble under the weight of you. How sweet you are, how overwhelmed he already feels from just a small peck. Cocky looks good on you, he thinks, and he’s nothing if not a giver. And so he gives, tongue slipping out to run along your lips, delving into your mouth the second you gasp at his actions. He just wants to make you feel good, show you how pretty you are by way of letting his cock rub against your tummy, a hard reminder of how much he loves you while his mouth is too busy to verbally do so.

It’s obvious anyway. While he strives to remain calm and collected it’s simply impossible with how tight his tummy feels, lust pooling there as his kisses almost immediately turn sloppy. A whole days worth of restraint finally snapping as he openly sighs into you. Wet smacks ringing in his ears, his tongue greedy as he drips saliva down your throat. All while the hand that was on your shoulder dips down to your hip, holding your waist protectively with a few squeezes here and there when your tongue glides back against his own. Goosebumps swarm his otherwise heated skin when you match his passion, your half seated position quickly crumbling as he leans closer towards you during the kiss, effectively pinning you beneath him for him to admire. Stopping his loving assault just to fully appreciate the sight of your kiss bruised lips and flushed cheeks, watching as your chest heaves and strains against your makeshift restraints.

You’re gonna be the death of him and you barely even mean to.

“Why’d you stop?” You ask slightly out of breath, and when paired with the pleading eyes you send his way he almost whines in hunger, wanting only to provide for you and even the suggestion that he isn’t causes his heart to ache.

He doesn’t reply immediate. Dazed for a moment, completely hypnotized by the sight of the love of his life splayed out so pliantly and prettily before him. A better meal than even the Feast of the Winter Star could ever hope to offer. “I love ya.” He just had to tell you. “Love ya s'much.” He mumbles, slurring with the taste of your lips as if it were addictive, leaning back down to plant a few chaste kisses to your cheeks and smiling against you as he feels you lean into them. Only when he’s satisfied that he’s marked enough of your skin with his saliva does he push off you again, looking down at you while chewing on his lip. He wants you, but equally he doesn’t want to make this day about him and his needy cock that begs for your attention even now, throbbing in his pants when you just knowingly stare back at him.

“Can I show ya? How much I love ya, I mean…” He trails off, voice small and subdued to show that you can say no, he wouldn’t mind. In spite of the way his cock aches, anyway.

“Please do.” You sigh, all happy and content, as if you’ve been waiting for this all night too. As if you really did know what you were doing to him, you minx. Fat globs of precum roll from his tip to stain his underwear at your almost confession. “Fuck-” His eyebrows furrow with his words. “How long…?”

“Since you got here.” You cut him off, confident smile on your sticky with saliva lips, reading his mind before he gets to finish with have you wanted to fuck?

Well, now that the air is clear and he’s free from any and all guilt in regards to ruining this special occasion he allows his cock to finally control his brain. Growling down at you in a mix of frustration and appreciation, wishing you’d have said something sooner but adoring the little games you play with him regardless. No longer having to hold out and last against his cock — which he always seems to lose to anyway when it comes to you anyway. His thighs absolutely soaked with pre as he repositions himself, his tip rubbing lightly against his clothing in a way that has his teeth gritting together. Whatever his girl wants she gets, and so he lands his eyes on your core, wetting his lips once before leaning back on his knees, dropping his hands to the hem of your shorts that are only slightly tangled up, easily dragging them down your legs enough to allow him entry to your cunt. Though the sight of your panties sticky to your slit has his heart caught in his throat, lungs temporarily struggling to catch up at the reveal of how much you adore him too. And your soft sigh, so sinful and sweet and made only for him. Drives him insane hearing your small appreciation, cock rock hard and tenting his pants to leave a visible print for you to enjoy.

“May I?” He seeks consent before touching you properly, tugging your panties down to match your shorts before his eyes gaze solely upon your now exposed pretty cunt without so much as flicking up to meet your own stare. Can’t help himself, in love with your little slit — can’t expect him to not look at it, can you?

“You may.” You almost whisper, shivering into his touch as he places both palms on your inner thighs, slowly pushing them open to reveal your dribbling hole.

Fuck, you weren’t kidding when you admitted to thinking about him all day, thighs positively shining with how much slick coats them, your pretty clit puffy and cute at his lack of attention. Instantly he gulps, swallowing to rid his bod of the last nerves as his thirst for you only seems to grow now that he has you somewhat naked and vulnerable. One of his hands digging under your shirt now while the other keeps your legs open, flipping your top up as much as the string lights allow so that he gets to see more of you, love on more of you. The sight of your tummy briefly causing his brain to turn dumb, filled only with thoughts of seeing it all big and round, cute mommy carrying his future children. Shit, he wants to knock you up so bad. Fuck a Winter baby into you, become a father on this fateful Star night. But first, he’d like to eat. A special treat for his special girl, a small gift he’d happily offer again and again, not just for the nights celebrations.

Eagerly he drops his upper half lower, worming his way between your legs and wedging his shoulders between your knees so that they’re forced to rest on them, humming at the way you immediately lock them behind his neck. You can’t move much, though your lower half is more free, slowly shifting around in his hold as he teasingly dips his head down, lifting your ass up off the wooden floorboards of your home so that your slit is easier for his mouth to reach. His tongue already hangs out before he’s met your cunt, huffing hot breaths against your slit to cool you down a little. “Lix-” You whine gently at his flirting, and the needy tone of his nickname falling from your lips is enough to kick him into gear, his nose buried against your clit while his tongue laps up at the excessive of slick coating your slit. Right away he mumbles “Taste s'good-” against you, and God does he mean it — he’d happily spend forever between your legs if you’d let him just so that he can drink your slick up at a moments notice. Sweeter than anything he’ll experience at the feast, better than granny Evelyn’s cookies, and that’s a high compliment coming from the man who regularly eats them. And it only takes a single taste to have him acting up too, cock painfully hard as he licks up and down your slit, nudging his tongue between your folds to slurp away at your hole to force those cute whines to continue to rise from your throat. Ever the pleaser, he wraps one arm around your thigh so that his thumb can reach your clit while pinning you in place to his lips, the other arm kept under your ass to keep you supported enough while he eats you out mid-air. And man eats, all sloppy and full of saliva, dropping excess drool against your slit just for him to lap up again on a second pass, his thumb barely providing enough friction with how focused he is on eating you out that you have to wiggle to get more of his attention, his brows knitted in concentration as he does his best to multitask but fuck it’s difficult when his tongue slips into your hole to drink straight from the tap. Lewd sucks and harsh gulps huffed against your cunt as he picks up on your increasing in pitch whines, all choked and raspy as his thumb flicks them out of you, stroking tight circles against your clit the way he knows makes you feel best. Happy to hear this his pussy drunk attitude has you reeling, bucking your hips against his lips as his cock bobs in his pants for attention, aching, pulsing under how open you are about how good he makes you feel and really — that’s what turns him on the most. Seeing the fruits of his labour come to fruition in every little moan he tongue fucks out of you, the writhing about he forces you to endure with your arms tied tight against your sides, keeping you locked to his lips even as you warn him of your upcoming orgasm with a drawl of his name that sounds like music to his ears.

He’ll drink that too.

More than anything he wants to provide for you. The ego boost he gets from hearing you cry his name as he swallows every bit of slick your cunt offers him, lapping at your cunt like a man starved — it’s all he wants. And, by extension, he wants so badly to provide for a family with you too. Helping you reach your first orgasm of the night with flicks of his thumb against your cute clit, humming lowly into your hole with his tongue fucking in and out of you to get you nice and wet for him — as if you weren’t enough already — and loosening you up a bit before he splits you in two on his fat cock. He’s also just partaking in a bit of self indulgence, having the time of his life eating you out and drinking you down.

He knows you’re cumming when you start humping his face as much as possible with the restraints, his thumb releasing your clit in favour of digging his nails into your skin, soon replacing the stimulation you briefly lacked with his tongue, rolling it over your clit to help you fully enjoy your orgasm while you pant his name over and over again. “That’s it-” he unlatches from your cunt, licking his lips with a lewd slurp as he lets you down gently, placing your ass back on the floor for the wood to soak up that which he missed. “Good fuckin’ girl.” His voice a low growl, exposed want for you on full display as he sucks his thumb clean too, making sure to keep eye contact with you as he does so regardless of how hazy and dazed you look, just so you can see just as much as feel how much he loves you. Speaking of which, his cock is simply begging to be inside you already, because while looking after you and providing you with the princess treatment is so much fun for him too, he’s been so hard for so long for you, his pants absolutely ruined with the amount of precum you’ve already teased out of him. And you’ve not even touched him yet! He’s just that pussy whipped for you.

“Ready fr'more? Please.” He begs. No matter how hard he tries to keep his cool he can’t, not when it comes to you. Pathetically palming over his too hard erection that quickly turns to harsh tugs at his clothed tip, openly panting above you as his eyes squeeze shut briefly into the feeling of at last — some stimulation. “Cause- m'sorry, but- Can’t wait much longer.” He confesses, a bit more honestly this time as you lightly laugh at his impatience. Well, he’s been patient all day, hasn’t he? You can’t blame him for rushing now that you’ve given him permission, like a dog who doesn’t know how to pace himself.

“I’m yours, Alex. Your wife.” You reassure him, lazily smiling at him with the bliss of the orgasm his tongue fucked out of you, acting as innocent as possible at the mention of the wife tag, though surely you can see the immediate effects it causes him as he almost falls over you with cock in hand. “Do as you please.” And he wonders if you realise the ramifications of your consent the moment you speak it, or if it takes you a second to catch up to the sudden mood change as he practically tears his shorts from his frame to slap his fat cock against your puffy little cunt, precum sticking to your stomach as he fucks it forward against you out of instinct. What he wants to do is fuck a baby into you. To impregnate you with his seed. Are you giving him permission to act so carelessly?

“You’ve no idea the things ya do t'me, princess.” He teases, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek in the last show of self control he’ll have for the night as he holds the base of his cock to tap his leaking tip on your tummy. Looking down at your shaking frame as he notices just how small you look below him, his cock easily reaching your belly button and the sight has him gasping for air. It’s not the first time he’s fucked you, far from it, but rather that he can’t get over the sheer size difference, every time he has you naked truly feels like the first when he sizes you up like this. It’s a wonder how your tiny cunt manages to fit his big fat cock and it never ceases to surprise him how well you take it. He’s so proud of you, you know? It’s part of why he wants to breed you so badly. You’re so strong, he can think of no better mother for his eventual children. “You’ve no idea the things I wanna do to you either.” He half admits his secret, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he idly swings his hips back and forth against you, feeling his thighs grow tacky with your slick while he stains your tummy with pre.

“Oh yeah?” You sigh, easing yourself into his gentle back and forth petting, allowing him to use your body for the tender moment. “Pray tell.” You continue, and he enjoys that you’re still willing to banter with him even has his hot and heavy cock fucks against your tummy. Wife material.

It’s not an easy thing to admit, he finds. Though he wants for nothing more than to start his own little family with you, the lewd intent behind his actions is palpable. Wanting to stuff your tiny cunt so full of cum your tummy swells. To watch as your belly grows with his planted seed, knowing that everyone in town will recognise that he’s fucked you pregnant. He’s honestly a little dizzy just at the thought, working on autopilot as he draws his hips back, letting his cock rest between your folds to glide his tip up and down it thoughtfully. He swallows hard before mumbling.

“Wanna have a baby with you.”

And to his surprise you don’t react with shock or denial, but rather with a smiled gasp. Love in your eyes and a shimmy in your shoulders as if you were attempting to reach out to him before remembering that you’re currently tied up. His heart clearly doesn’t get the acceptance memo though, hammering against his chest with anxiety while awaiting your reply.

“You mean it?” You whisper, dumb smile still plastered on your face. It causes him to grin too, lopsided when mixed with the distracting feeling of his cock sliding up your slit, knocking against your clit on every pass.

“Yeah.” He replies.

“Are you sure about this?

"So sure. Never been surer, if m'honest.”

He watches as you wait a second or two to fully accept his words, mulling them over in your post orgasm mind before you earnestly nod back at him. Short and sweet, just like his little wife herself.

“C'mon, let’s make you a daddy.” You tempt and boy does he take the bait. The petname you offer serving as the final nail in his restrain coffin, his hips driving against your cunt at the implication you make. Causes him to curse, a tense fuck- as you hum in satisfaction, smirking at his inability to control himself from such a simple word. Daddy. He’s never thought to have liked it so much, never even gave the name much consideration. But now, now he’s sure that he likes it, and he wants to hear you say it again. And again, and again.

“Again.” He demands, but there’s a hint of edge to his voice that surely lets you know that he’s praying.

“D-Daddy-” You stutter, only because he’s started lining his cock up to your twitching hole, thumb pressing down on the base of his cock to work his way inside.

“Again.” He urges, the usual gruff voice he uses during sex slowly returning as he gets comfortable in his stride once more. “Need t'hear y'say it one more time, c'mon-” His tip finally catching on your hole, a simultaneous gasp sounding in the room as the lights adorning your body flash before him.

You gulp, waiting for him to move but he doesn’t. He waits. True to his word, needs to hear the name choked from your throat once more before he gives you what you both want. “Da-Daddy!” You whine, all high strung and fuckin’ pretty as he pushes in as soon as you begin repeating yourself, a cheeky smirk tugging at his lips as he finally feels in control again. “Yeah? Gonna make me a daddy, s'at right?” He barks down at you, word scathing and dripping with how much he yearns for you, even as his cock nudges inside of you. Pushing in slow and steady, because even if he’s knocked one orgasm out of you he can still feel the tight squeeze of your cunt, the stretch his fat cock forces you to endure until his balls are fully rested against your ass and you let out a cute shaky breath. Every time without fail. Barely waiting a moment for you to get accustomed to his girth before he’s pulling his hips back just as slowly as he pushed in, gritting his teeth at how tightly your little cunt tries to suck his cock back in to the hilt, like you never want him to leave. You can’t even reach out for him to pull him back down and into you, though he sees you try anyway. The power you offer him in the form of the light restraints going straight to his cock as he too eagerly shoves it back inside, settling into an unfair pace right from the get go. His muscles taut and tense as he prompts your legs to wrap around his back, fucking you on his hands and knees as both arms plant at either side of your head, each rock of his hips into you causing your ass to lift from the floor again and again.

“Promise t'make me a daddy-” He whines, and though he knows it’s unfair to ask as much he can’t help himself from begging. Punctuating his words with quick snap thrusts into your tiny wanting hole, his tip dragged against your twitching insides to draw more and more precum out to leave his mark. “Promise-” He repeats, slowing his thrusts down a little to allow you some room to breathe, to catch up with his cruel actions in hopes of hearing you answer. “An’ I’ll promise t'make you a mommy, yeah? Would y'like that? Have a few brats runnin’ around? God- fuck, gettin’ s'tight all of a sudden aint'cha? Y'want that?” He rambles on and on, unwilling to even let you reply because he’s riled himself up enough with his own words, fucking into you faster again out of primal instinct to breed. Still, the weak nod you send his way with your mouth open in an 'O’ so sweet moans of praise can escape your lips is promise enough, he thinks. Driving his hips against you at such a speed, the wet slap of skin on skin filling the space left between as he’s unable to stop himself now. Absolutely fraught with need to impregnate you, to make good on his promise to fuck you into motherhood and to tie you down to him forever as an ultimate show of his love for you. Balls heavy with seed and tight with intent on tainting you from the inside as much as his fingers mark your floorboards as he digs his palms into the wood for more leverage, bouncing you on the ground to fuck you back down on his cock with every thrust.

And the way you sob his name every time he fully sheathes, railing you into the floor below, your voice all cracked and broken as he fucks the word out of you — he’s going a little insane. Fucking you in such a dirty situation, his cute little wife turned vulgar with the amount of moans his cock fucks out of you. Saliva pooling in his mouth in sheer thirst for you, tummy tight with how good your little cunt wraps around his much bigger cock, so painfully hard just from how much he loves you, how helpless you look as he ruins you. So submissive below him, simply forced to lay there and take it like a good girl, like a good mommy would. His satisfaction heard through the low and rough moans your cunt squeezes out of him, the harsh pants for air as his hips refuse to let up, rocking into you with such desperation and determination that he can feel his thighs shake from under him. “Gonna be the best momma, jus’ know it-” He babbles, dripping drool down to your cheek as he hovers his face right above your own, hunched over you like the dirty dog he is to better fuck into your sopping cunt, your slick surely coating his thighs by now by the sounds of things. All gushy and wet, unfairly so. “Feel s'good, ah- tight fuckin’ cunt, huh?” he groans as your legs tighten around him just as your cunt starts to spasm around his cock, trapping him against your body so that he’s coerced into cumming inside anyway, the high pitched squeals you let out at his rough fucks offering a sure sign that you’re close once again, heels digging into his back as if to ask him never to leave. He wont, fuck, he never wants to. Would love to be balls deep buried in your little cunt all the time if he could, bullying his dribbling tip as deep as he can until his tip brushes against your cervix. And then it’s over for him, eyes rolled back as his head drops at the want to completely penetrate you and fuck his seed into you. You want this too, and he can tell from the way you breathlessly beg please-! over and over again, your eyes barely able to stay open from how well he fucks you and he thinks it’s just the cutest sight to see. To know this it’s his cock that’s making you feel so good, that you’ll soon be bearing his children, that you’ll be fucked into starting a family with him. His appreciation barely heard over the obscenely lewd slap of his balls against you, the too loud squelch of his cock fucking your little hole.

“Close?” He intends to ask, but it comes out more as a plea for you to hurry up and cum because he’s so close, so fuckin’ close himself thanks to your tight cunt and pretty face. The faint pained expression you wear looks so pretty and proves to be particularly fatal to him right now, the bounce of your tightly bound and hidden tits causing his heart to ache. “S'mommy close? C'mon, lemme see that pretty face-” he shudders into you, ego stroked almost as well as his cock when you can do no more than babble back half-hearted please! and yes! like some sort of broken record that he’ll never tire of. Don’t worry, he’ll fuck you as many times as he needs to tonight to knock you up. This round acting as just the first of many in his eyes, though perhaps the second and third he’ll untie you as he’d intended to from the very beginning.

It only takes a couple more strokes from his precise fucks to help you unravel, creaming his cock so well that he falls completely into you, cock humping away at your little spasming hole as he falls into a silent gasp against your neck. Huffing and panting and drooling all over your neck as your orgasm washes over you, back arched nicely into his chest with a short cry of his name. Fuck he’s so in love, so completely head over heels for you that he follows shortly behind you simply from hearing you finish, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm until he finally cums himself. Fucking his cock as deep as he can to increase the chances of getting you pregnant, moaning a string of “Yeahyeahyeah-” through gritted teeth right down your ear as your cunt milks him so well, desperately humping to prolong just how good he feels in your warm cunt, his seed mixing around and coating his cock with your own slick gushing around the base. Mind numb besides the thought of stuffing you so full of cum that there’s no way you wont be pregnant by the end of the night, keeping his cock lodged in your full cunt despite the little trickles of cum the seep out to make sure that most of it remains inside. And then he’s left winded, blissed out and high as he simply breathes with you. A steady in and out after the sharp gulps of air, allowing you a moment to calm down after such strenuous activity.

Because after all, you’re a mommy now. His mommy now. And as such he has to look after you especially well, peeling himself from your front only to allow you more room to breathe. That, and the fact that he wants to get you out of those string lights, let him pay attention to those pretty mommy tits. “Practice.” He tells you, as if it isn’t just self indulgence on his part. “For the baby.” He pats your tummy with one hand while the other reaches around to dig under the wiring.

Maybe he’d like to try the red lights next.

[cleminthewriter]

Angel Au By Wyverns

Hi Clemin here, this is an au of the Sitcom Au where everything is the same but Alex is an Angel by @wyvnspng, but they were unable to post it to tumblr so they asked me if i could.

Notes from Wyverns:

"This is an AU of the Sitcom AU! Very vague and brief mention of domestic violence at the start. Clyde just thinks about it in a paragraph. Skip the second paragraph if that makes you uncomfortable.

I quickly skimmed through it so sorry if there’s spelling or grammatical errors!"

------

Humans are a really odd species. Clyde knows this quite well. They’re weak, and tasty, and they like to live in big groups. You’d think that they’d all go extinct by now, but they’re thriving.

Despite their weakness, humans are cruel. They’re mean, even to their own kind. Sometimes they’re mean to their own partners, which confuses Clyde. It could never be cruel to its partner, so it doesn’t understand. Maybe it never will.

Clyde has been around humans for a long time. It has seen many different humans in its lifetime, many of which it has eaten. It has spent many hours of its life watching the short-lived creatures live lives of their own.

The humans it’s watching right now are very busy. There’s lots of them, all hanging out in one of their buildings. Despite the late time, the building is loud and bright, and the humans within are filled with energy. Clyde knows that humans are diurnal, so this is just another oddity to add to the ever growing list.

Every now and then, a few humans trail out of the gathering, where they will return to their cars and leave. Clyde would hunt these ones, but it is not faster than a car, so there is little point. Boredly, it continues to wait. Hopefully soon one would decide to leave on foot…

..

Clyde is really bored. And a little hungry. Maybe it should find something else to eat. Mind made up, it climbs onto the fence of the house it was perched upon, being careful to prevent the humans gathered in the house across the street from spotting it.

It makes its way across fences, moving in random directions, just going wherever it feels like going. It avoids the buildings with humans in them, careful to remain hidden.

It continues like this for a little bit, before making its way onto a wetter fence, where it promptly slips off and lands onto the floor with a crash. It landed on its tail, and the spikes dig uncomfortably into its back.

Clyde reorients itself and sits up, flicking its tail out of its back. It’s not injured, but the onesie it stole now features holes in the back, which, excluding the ones that are supposed to be there, is unfortunate.

What is less unfortunate is that nobody was around to witness its slip up (a distant part of Clyde freaks out, but it’s far too distant to notice). It’d have to pay more attention to what it’s doing.

Clyde manoeuvres itself so that it’s standing upright, when it turns around to face the house, only it wasn’t a house that it ended up facing. Clyde almost flinched, briefly panicking thanks to the jumpscare, before a warm calmness swept over it.

Somehow a human had managed to sneak up to it, and was standing in front of it. Clyde stood there for a second, motionless, as it looked the ‘human’ up and down. Clyde had seen and eaten many humans, and it could tell that this definitely wasn’t one. They looked like one, and if Clyde didn’t know any better, it definitely would have been fooled. But there’s something off about this thing. Clyde can’t exactly pinpoint what is off about them, but it knows it’s something.

“Hello? Is everything alright?” Clyde twitched slightly as the thing talked. They seemed unsure of their words, but didn’t add anything else. Clyde wanted to open up, and let this old friend of its know what was troubling it. It wanted to ask them for help recovering its partner, because it knows that they are trustworthy, and that they can help.

Clyde feels a little freaked out, but it’s struggling to focus on that over the intense calm that seems to have swept over it. It has no idea what this thing is doing to it, let alone how they are doing whatever it is.

Clyde refuses to answer their question.

Their faces (face. They only have one. It doesn’t know why that feels wrong.) twitched, and Clyde has no idea what that means, but they offer it a hand. “Would you like to come inside? I just made a sandwich, you can have it if you’d like,” Clyde is compelled to take their hand, which it does without hesitation. It’s a little disappointed when nothing happens.

The thing leads it into the house, and Clyde follows easily, almost in a daze. It’s quickly sat down on a couch and a sandwich is placed in its claws. It takes a bite. The thing sits next to it. “You tore your outfit a little. Would it be okay if I patched it up for you?” Clyde doesn’t really care what this thing does so long as they let it go. (It feels guilty for accusing its friend of something like that.)

Clyde rotated its body slightly, continuing to just eat the sandwich. The overwhelming calmness had receded somewhat, which is significantly more comforting than when it was there. The thing behind it shuffled around a little before patching up the holes that had been torn open when it fell.

“Why are you doing this?” Clyde asked, referring to the whole situation. Why did they kidnap it? Why did they make it calm? Why did they give it a sandwich? It is so confused, and it has no answers for its questions.

“Why? Well, i’m pretty sure She wanted us to meet, but i’m not sure what She wants me to do with you? She is pretty cryptic with this stuff,” Clyde has no idea what any of that is supposed to mean. Who is She? How does She know about it? All Clyde got was more questions.

The thing moved away, and Clyde looked back at them. “All done, sorry about the falling thing,” The thing apologised, which made little sense. Was this a trap? But how could they have known that Clyde would have come that way?

“Who are you?” It shifted to that it was facing the thing, which was putting away a small box that likely contained the stuff they used to sew up Clyde's onesie.

“Oh, yeah, my name’s Alex,” They replied, sitting back onto the couch. “What about you?”

“..Clyde,” It said, moving its head to look forward again.

“Nice to meet you, Clyde,” Alex stated, “I look forward to our continued friendship.”

Clyde was convinced that this was a nightmare.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 9

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.  

Word Count: 20.4k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.  

A/N: This is gonna be a rather lengthy author's note but it's needed. Y'all must definitely know the wonderful @imagine-that-100​ and her masterpiece of a fic Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis. I'm not exaggerating when I say that fic changed my life in many amazing ways: it introduced me to the 1975, I made friends with N and she's now my best mate and such a special person to me, and through becoming friends with her i gained the courage to start writing again and finally post my fics. I hold @nriacc so close to my heart, so it's a massive honor that N allowed me to borrow Wheels and Curly to use in this story, giving them an alternate universe story line that melts my heart. I'm so beyond excited for you to read this chapter and the rest of this UK trip because it's so fucking fun and eventful. I'm looking forward eagerly to see all of your reactions! I'll shut up now, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!!!

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

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It was cruel how slow time had been going. A month had never felt longer, and days were specially slow as she was back at the Focus Creeps office everyday.

Organizing all the clips she had gotten from the recording had only kept her busy for the first week back, and after that it had just been torture to get back into routine.

The one good thing was that, since Aaron had a new PA, Ella was properly getting more into the videography aspect of it all and being mentored directly by Ben.

She had studied for that type of job, all she had ever wanted was to be behind the camera in any type of production and finally being able to do it, no matter how small the production was, was a dream come true.

However, it was a lot of work and, whilst she loved it, managing the crew and instructing a whole team for a production could get really stressful. She still had her PA brain in her so regardless of not needing to, she would take on more responsibilities just to ensure everything would end up perfect on shoot day.

Needless to say, just the thought of the holiday approaching made her incredibly giddy.

The day she had gotten to drop Breana off at LAX had been the day she had started getting nervous. The model had been able to get off work and fly over a week earlier than Ella, and even though she had offered to wait another week so they could fly together, Ella had encouraged her to go ahead.

Bre was already dying to see her boyfriend, so why would Ella want to keep her another week away from him?

The silver lining of the situation was that she'd get to be with everyone in only a week. Just seven more days to wait were nothing in comparison to the three endless weeks she had already waited so it'd be fine.

When she got home that afternoon, she went straight to get her suitcase which was hidden away in a corner of her closet. Ella laughed to herself as she packed away, the whole scene being soundtracked by Bowie. That was probably the first time since she moved out to college that she had packed her things with that much time in advance.

She had just rolled up a pair of black pants when 'Modern Love' was interrupted by a call. A call from the one and only, Alex Turner.

Beaming at the contact name, she swiped on her screen to answer and it wasn't even a fraction of a second later that she heard "Hello my darling!" being shouted by a very obviously drunk Alex.

Ella could hear chatter and music in the background, but his loud slurred greeting had been heard without difficulty. "Hi Al! Having fun?"

"Erm," The singer hesitated dramatically, "A bit, yeah."

"Sure sounds like a bit of fun." She replied sarcastically, making him giggle.

"Far less than it would be if you were here."

Ella tried hard not to laugh again, "Oh wow, I'm worried now I might not remember this trip."

"Oh it'll be memorable alright." Ella couldn't hold her laughter in any longer, giggling loudly at the slurred statement and he smiled to himself hearing that sound, "Remind me why aren't you already on your way with Bre now?"

She sighed, "Because I have a big shoot this week and I couldn't miss it because I'll be filling Aaron's place and working directly with Ben."

"You're so fucking amazing, darling." Alex started, completely amazed at her stories now that she was hands on working on the directing aspect of their productions, "I want you directing our music videos from now on." He demanded as seriously as a drunk man can.

"I think drunk you might not be making the best decisions." She quipped with an immense smile on her face.

"Yeah, no." He was quick to disagree, shaking his head profusely like Ella was there to see him. "That'd be the best decision actually. I'll give Ben a quick call."

"Alex, stop it you idiot." Her cheeks were already heating up so she took her phone away from her ear and put it on speaker to place it on her bed as she continued packing. "It's only one more week. Six days if you count this day as over."

He groaned loudly, "Six more days is too long. I can't wait to see you."

Ella was fully melting. It had been so excruciating to be away from the lads, especially from Alex that she kept thinking about what it would be to hug him again. To lean on him for support as she doubled over in laughter, to cuddle him again. She missed him loads, and she'd realized just how important he had become to her when he had left.

She tried to play it cool though, "Okay but you should be more excited about Glastonbury rather than me coming, Al."

"Well you are coming to see us at Glastonbury so it's basically the same thing." Alex defended himself, when in reality he really wasn't able to point out which of those two he was most excited for.

Ella could only shake her head and smile to herself, "You're funny."

"'Course I am." Alex chatted back with an almost offended tone.

She wanted to taunt him a bit more, he was always hilarious when drunk. "That wasn't necessarily literal."

"Yeah, yeah sure–" Alex started but was interrupted by Matt yelling, "Ellie!" out loud as he had come out looking for Alex and heard her through the speakers of the singer's phone.

"Jesus Christ, my eardrums just burst." Ella exaggerated as she folded a black top and rolled it to fit into her case.

Matt scoffed, "Why are you such a bitch, I was about to tell you how much I missed you."

Feeling accomplished by getting that reaction, she giggled but admitted, "I miss you too Helders."

"Did you drop Bre off today?" The drummer asked first and foremost. He was eager to see his girl, a month had been way too long already.

Ella was proud to announce, "Yes. Got back a few hours ago. She texted me she was boarding about twenty minutes ago so your girl is on her way."

"Thank fuck. That plane better speed here." The hours the flight took were always the worst wait for him, they had been every time.

"I'm sure Bre is making the pilot go as fast as they can to get to you as soon as possible." Ella joked, being able to picture the scenario so clearly. But as she picked up her favorite pair of high heeled boots, the leather slipped between her fingers and landed with a loud thud on the floor. "Oh shit!"

The silence from the lads' side was loud, but Ella's was louder so Alex inquired very quickly, "What are you breaking Eleanor?"

Whenever he used her full name, her insides twisted in a knot. Ella rolled her eyes at the feeling and sassily replied, "Nothing Alexander, just dropped a pair of shoes I was about to pack." She hoped he felt the same way when she called him by his full name.

If Ella had gotten an answer to that, it would've been yes but it was overcome by the giddiness Alex then felt over the fact that she was already packing for the trip. "You're packing already?"

"Yes. Apparently I can't stay still now thinking about this trip." And it was true, she probably took a look at her tickets at least twice a day just to check if they were still real.

"Well it is quite eventful, innit? Glasto, Nick's wedding, the music video..." Alex listed with a loopy smile on his face. It would be the perfect first stay in the UK for her, and he couldn't wait to make it even better.

But Ella was suffering through the wait so it just made her whine for him to stop. "Stop because I will cry from having to wait another week."

Alex flustered at the noise but he was reminded he wasn't alone when Matt laughed beside him. The singer sighed, really putting his drunk mind to work out a solution to the problem, "Why isn't teleporting a thing yet?"

Ella snorted in laughter, "It would make it all so much easier, wouldn't it?"

He really started going deep in thought, thinking about how if they were just grasping the logical ways of the concept then the government or whoever would already have something developed. Or they should, at least. "I'm sure there has to be something that–"

Alex's heavy rant was prematurely interrupted by the usual troublemaker in the friend group. "Ellie?"

"Yes, Matthew?"

"Don't forget to pack your skimpy underwear, you'll be going out on the pull here. We need to get you a rebound!" Matt was so drunk, he missed the amount of people walking past them and turning to see him after being so loud about his plans for the American girl.

Ella cackled, deciding between a few skirts she had laid out on the bed. "It will be noted."

But at the same time Alex cussed out his best mate, "Oh fuck off Helders."

Matt frowned at him, "What? I'm just looking out for her! She needs to get every faint memory of that dickhead fucked out of her brain."

Alex hated thinking about that being the situation, he wouldn't have it. "Jesus– Just, fucking shut up."

"I do actually," Ella agreed on Matt's logic, "But let's not talk about it." She sighed in slight melancholy.

"See?!" Matt fought Alex loudly, making Ella laugh loud at him.

Alex turned to the drummer about to threaten him, "Helders I will fucking–"

Ella stopped them before they could do anything, "Okay don't fight now. I'm not there to record."

"Don't worry, I'll ask Jamie to record as I kick his arse." Matt said confidently, almost ready to run back in and ask for Jamie's help.

But she was quick to kick the drummer's ego down a few notches, "I doubt that'll happen."

"Bitch!" Matt gasped out loud, completely offended.

"Thanks for the support, darling." Alex replied with a smirk, raising his eyebrows at his friend.

"Yeah, you just say that 'cause you want his–" Matt tried to say but it was all muffled what she heard next. Ella held her breath to try and listen but nothing could be heard other than shuffling.

About a minute later the line went clear again and someone cleared their throats, "Sorry 'bout that darling, he gets on my nerves."

Ella shook her head, only imagining what it was that they had just done. "He has that effect."

"Well I can't wait for you to get here, darling. It's gonna be fucking amazing I promise you." Alex would make sure of it like his life depended on it.

Her excitement bubbled up inside her once more, "I know it will, I'm so excited. Finally started watching Game of Thrones to practice my accent."

He remembered getting a picture of the three seasons on DVD she had gotten not long after they had gone back to London and how she said she'd watch it soon to prepare for her trip. "Oh darling, I cannot wait to see you miserably fail at that."

"Hey!" Ella warned him before switching to her very fake and forced british accent, "It's quite good actually." Alex couldn't not let out the loudest laugh at it though, which made her laugh back as she tried to say, "Don't laugh!"

He tried to stop but he couldn't so it was about half a minute later that he could properly say, "Sorry, that was just bad."

"You're mean." She pouted to herself, rolling a pair of jeans.

He hummed and sarcastically said, "Sure I am." Ella was about to call him out for it when they heard, "Alex!" being yelled out by Nick. "Okay, I gotta go now but, erm, I'll call you tomorrow alright?" He stumbled in his words, his tongue tangling because of being drunk and excited.

Ella smiled at that, "That's perfect. Enjoy the rest of your night, Al. Love you." She just couldn't help but add.

Alex swore he would never get over her saying that, even if she didn't mean it like he wanted her to. "Love you too, darling. Bye."

"Bye." She said almost breathless as his words hit her like she hadn't heard him say that before.

The line went dead and they both sighed before going back to their activities. The week needed to pass faster.

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Ella had been walking around LAX with a skip on her step. Her flight was due to leave California at seven in the afternoon and she'd be landing in Montreal at around three in the morning. She had a connecting flight, of course, but she had made sure to make her calculations well and she knew she'd get there in time.

She had made sure to leave her house and order herself a taxi with enough time to spare, taking LA's traffic very into consideration. The counter of the airline she was traveling with had been packed but she got her boarding pass about forty minutes later, with two hours left to go through TSA and then rush to her gate.

Being mindful of how long it would take, she had already taken everything that could beep off her body and placed it inside the big bag she was carrying with her. Though she shouldn't have needed to worry because being the time it was and the fact that it was LAX, the line for TSA moved specially slow, taking her about thirty minutes to get through.

And, of course, her gate was the one furthest away so she was power walking through the airport, not without making a quick stop at McDonald's first. When she finally found her gate, she'd sat in the waiting area with her laptop open in her lap to edit some pictures.

She'd had to do some shoots on digital for a brand that was working with Focus Creeps and despite it not being her favorite medium, they had turned out amazing. She had studied quite intently everything about photo editing in university, so really she was just putting old skills to use when editing them.

When she was almost done with the first batch of pictures, and eating the last of her chips now that her burger was gone, she noticed that the time in the top right corner of her laptop said 7:16PM and they hadn't been called yet, so she started to fidget in her seat.

There was just one person at the counter but they didn't have the airline's uniform. She could see a plane parked right at the gate though, and people driving the boarding bridge in place. Her legs bounced up and down as she watched her surroundings for any signs of them boarding soon.

Just when Ella was about to panic because the person who was at the counter left, her phone buzzed in her pocket, startling her. She pulled it out, grateful for a small distraction from her building anxiety and her face relaxed at the notification of Alex's text.

(27/06/2013 19:17) Hope the airport isn't too crazy at the minute, darling. How's everything going? Have you boarded yet? x

She bit on her thumb, looking around for anyone from the airline getting the counter ready for boarding but no one was there yet so she fully focused on texting the singer.

(27/06/2013 19:18) We were supposed to board twenty minutes ago, so I'm slowly getting nervous. Every minute counts, you know? I can't miss y'all at Glastonbury Al :(

(27/06/2013 19:19) Don't you worry darling, you'll make it just in time. And I'm sure you'll be boarding in no time, just listen to some music, yeah? Maybe some Beatles to set the mood x

(27/06/2013 19:20) I think it'd be better if I blast some Arctic Monkeys, wouldn't it?

(27/06/2013 19:20) I suppose that works too, they're overrated though x

(27/06/2013 19:21) Okay now, don't talk shit about them when I'm only traveling this long to see them.

(27/06/2013 19:21) Hahaha sorry darling x I cannot wait to see you, the lads can't wait either and Bre has been screeching about your first time over here since she got here.

(27/06/2013 19:22) You always know what to say, Al. I feel like I'm gonna puke from excitement now and not anxiety. Can't wait to see y'all.

(27/06/2013 19:23) Everyone's already planning so much shit for when you get here. Just a little heads up for you x

(27/06/2013 19:23) Jesus Christ... I'm scared of the hangovers to come already.

(27/06/2013 19:24) It'll be fun, that's all that matters. What Bre and Matt are planning though, I have no idea about.

(27/06/2013 19:25) Oh no, they're in charge of the parties before the wedding right?

(27/06/2013 19:26) Exactly, so we must be in for a wild night. Gutted we can't be together for those x

(27/06/2013 19:27) Who's gonna save me from Bre then?! She's gonna have me black out, I can't handle alcohol as well as she does.

(27/06/2013 19:27) You can't handle alcohol at all, darling xx

(27/06/2013 19:27) Thanks for the faith, Al. So sweet of you x

(27/06/2013 19:28) Won't apologize for the truth x But Katie and my best friend will be there, they'll take care of you x

(27/06/2013 19:29) Rude! :(( I'm so excited to meet everyone properly!!! x

(27/06/2013 19:29) Just stay away from tequila and you'll be fine darling x And everyone is excited to finally meet you too xx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Such good advice xx P.S. someone's just set things up for boarding! I'll text you when I get to Montreal xxx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Have a great flight, darling. Love you lots xxxx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Thank you Alex, love you too xxxx

Ella stood up from her place with a bright grin on her face. She'd never not react like that to his sweet words.

Once she got her thoughts together, she hung her bag on her shoulder, after stuffing her laptop back inside it, and walked to throw away her McDonald's bag.

As soon as she was able to, Ella boarded her flight. Feeling so elated as she walked to the plane's door and through the hallway up to her seat. She loved being in planes, even though going out of the country had never happened for her before.

She found herself unable to stay still when she got to her seat. There were so many things making her insides feel like jelly, she had a little silent cry in the plane as it took off. Ella was grateful nobody beside her could really see her as she had a window seat, her eyes glued to how everything was looking more minuscule by the minute outside until it was just clouds.

Eventually, she pulled out her laptop again and continued editing, she had a little bit over five hours to kill and since she had no other way to distract herself, she was going through the pictures faster than anticipated.

How she was going to brace the seven hour flight from Montreal to London, she had no idea. She probably would have to come up with concepts for future shoots, work with words rather than with reference pictures since she had no wifi.

Ella had been amazed, watching Montreal under the plane when they were about to land. The lights of the city lighting up everything for her to see, she felt like a child being amazed at such a simple thing, but it looked so beautiful she had to take a picture. She used her phone first but it did little to no justice to it so she pulled out her camera and took a few pictures just to see if it would show on film as beautiful as her eyes could see.

Even walking around the Canadian airport was fascinating to her, because all the signs were in French too, which made her think about just how amazing it would be to visit France.

Thankfully, walking through the airport and finding her gate had been a breeze so she could sit down calmly and just sort through some stuff that she had been procrastinating for long. Before starting to organize her scans though, she sent Alex a quick text.

(28/06/2013 04:20) Landed in Montreal a few minutes ago, and at the gate waiting for the next flight! Only an hour left to wait and then I'll be on my way. I cannot stay still!!! xx Also Canada is beautiful, I love it! xx

Due to the lack of wifi connection, she sent it as a regular SMS, not really caring about being charged. She just hoped it went through as she went back to her laptop screen to work the next hour away.

But her bubble of giddiness had burst when she and all the others who were waiting for their connecting flight, were surprised by someone from the airline crew going up to the gate's waiting area microphone and informing them all that their flight had been delayed six hours because of some issues with the plane that was supposed to take them to London.

Ella scoffed in disbelief. Of course this would happen to me, was all that came to her mind.

When they told them their luggage would have to be picked up from baggage claim and they'd have to check in once again, it hit her just how much time she'd be losing.

She started panicking as she walked out to baggage claim, spotting her flight number in the furthest conveyor belt.

She had debated texting Alex again to tell him about the whole situation, just to let him know, but when she properly made her calculations and realized how much later she'd get there, her whole attention was drawn to fixing the issue.

People saw her rolling her big suitcase around the airport in a haste, her bag continuously falling off her shoulder but it was the least of her concerns as she approached the counters of the airline. She saw the big line of people and was about to cry, but thankfully she spotted some people assisting at the very end of the queue that could help her.

Ella told them about her situation and they apologized profusely. They told her to wait as they saw what they could do and after twenty minutes in which she just watched them type away, call and speak with different people behind the counter, she was told she could get a ticket for another plane they had which was leaving in two hours.

When the time was very scarily going closer to six in the morning, she had been able to check in her suitcase and run to go through security once again. She was grateful everyone had been lovely in every checkpoint, because if she had been faced with another obstacle, she was sure she would've broken down in the middle of the airport.

Never in her life had she walked so fast, and it was only when she got to her gate did she allow herself to fully sit in the panic. On her way, she had been doing the math and she realized she'd be landing in London cutting it very close to their set. It was when she remembered she still needed to get driven to the place the festival was at, that she found she'd get there after the lads had gone on stage, probably in the middle of their set.

Without letting another minute go to waste, she called Alex and tried her hardest to keep herself composed. At least she had a ticket and it would be a minor setback, not six hours.

"Hello, darling!" He exclaimed and she could feel his smile through the phone, her shoulders slowly loosening up at the thought of being beside her best friend soon.

"Hiya, Alex." Ella greeted, trying to copy his enthusiasm but she failed incredibly and Alex knew her so well now that he immediately knew something was wrong.

He walked away from the noise around him, they'd gotten to the festival early and they were all drinking and watching the final touches to the stage setup. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ella bit her lip, trying not to get too worked up and push herself to tears. "I am, I am. Just— My original flight got delayed six hours..."

Alex's heart dropped, "Oh darling." He muttered, filled with sadness.

"Okay but listen," She continued, trying to switch the situation around—more to try and calm herself than anything else—, "I managed to get a new ticket, but it leaves in about an hour. So, if my calculations aren't wrong, then I might be landing around eight in the evening."

He hummed, "The drive is about two hours and a half, it's okay darling. You're getting picked up by the driver we hired, you'll make it."

She sighed, "I hope I make it on time..." She knew she wouldn't be there from the start but just the knowledge of being a few minutes late to their set wouldn't make her weep at that very moment.

Alex just had to reassure her though, because anything could happen and it was out of everyone's hands so the last thing he wanted was for her to blame herself. "Even if you get here a little late, we just want you here. It's okay Ellie. I promise you, darling."

If Ella hadn't been in public, she would've let herself sob, but she had to inhale deeply to keep herself at bay and focus on the fact that she was on her way to them and that was all that mattered.

"Okay, Al. I'm just gonna distract myself as I wait and, uhm, yeah. I hope this one doesn't get delayed." She tried to joke but her heart sank at just the thought of it.

"Touching wood as we speak, Ellie." He truly was, knocking softly on the wooden table that was set beside him.

She laughed quietly, "I guess I'll see you soon then Al, but just in case I don't get there in time," her voice went a little quiet as she was getting sad at the thought, "Good luck okay? You're all gonna do so amazing, I have no doubt."

"Why don't you just wait until you're here to tell me?" Alex just wanted her to stop thinking like that, she was gonna make it regardless and that's what mattered to him.

"Alright." Ella agreed softly, trying to feed off his positivity.

"Have a great flight darling. Love you. It'll be alright okay?" That sweet conviction of his that he always showed when it came to her laced around his words had her melting and calming down in her seat.

She nodded, smiling tightly at his words. "Yeah, it will. Love you too Alex, see you soon."

They exchanged quiet goodbyes and just like that the call ended.

The panic had gone away and its place had been taken by excitement again. She just wished time would go faster because she had little patience left inside her and it had only been fifteen minutes she had been waiting at the gate.

Working on organizing her scans had been wonderful for her, not only because she had so many that she had forgotten about, but she had been able to see her growth as a photographer and it had made her a little bit proud of herself.

It had been a burden to see the ones with Julian in them, or the ones that she clearly remembered had been taken by him but they were good shots of her where she felt and looked beautiful so she would focus on that rather than give that man any more of her thoughts.

She'd known ever since that day at the beach that she was done with him, over the whole situation and, since she wrapped her mind around that realization, she'd only felt peace. He thankfully hadn't made any more appearances or tried to contact her—of course that also was because she'd made sure to block all contacts that could tie them together any longer.

That all had worked like a charm and surrounding herself with work and keeping in touch with her friends and family had helped her heal.

When she was sorting through the pictures she'd taken in March, that were mostly frames of her birthday party as Bre had been drunkenly taking many pictures of everyone, the crew had started to board.

Ella was glad to see they had started boarding earlier than anticipated and she was on her plane seat in almost no time. And to her luck, she had been seated beside a very lovely woman who had the most beautiful ginger hair Ella had ever seen. That had been the start of the conversation and the girl, who's name was Gabby, had thanked her and started conversation with her right then.

It seemed like the friendship had been sent from above as the two spent most of the flight talking about everything and anything: their jobs, their hobbies, why they were on that plane, the things they were most excited for when they landed.

"Rockstars..." Gabby has started after Ella told her she was on her way to visit her rockstar best friends, "Be careful, you never really know about them." She warned, based on past experiences that made a melancholic smile tug at the corner of her lips.

When the plane landed, they had gone through all of the checkpoints together up until the baggage claim area.

Ella and Gabby exchanged Instagram accounts and they promised each other to keep in touch and maybe plan something while Ella was in London.

It seemed like luck was on Gabby's side because her suitcase was one of the first ones to come out only 20 minutes later, leaving Ella with a long hug and a "Take care sweetheart."

Without the ginger beside her, Ella had been well aware of every minute that was passing and how if everything was going according to schedule then it would be less than two hours that the lads would go on stage.

Maybe if the driver just floored it, she'd be able to make it just in time. She prayed that was the case.

But time kept running and she watched people getting their baggage and leaving, everyone but her. It was a group of twenty people maybe that was waiting with her, and suddenly the conveyor belt stopped carrying cases which made Ella even more fidgety.

When she watched the clock go from nine o'clock to quarter past, she'd had enough. She sighed, fixing her bag on her shoulder to turn around and leave—after all, if her case was found, it had her information attached to it and they'd contact her so she couldn't care less about it—, but then cases started rolling in again and the third one was hers.

Ella practically ran towards it and pulled it up with a strength she didn't know she had in her. As soon as she had a hold on it, she walked fast towards the exit in search of the driver the lads had gotten her.

It took her a few glances around the crowd of people waiting for her to find her name on a small sign. 'Eleanor Hayes' read the sign in the man's hands and she approached him with a relieved smile on her face.

They exchanged pleasantries and he took the suitcase from her as they walked out to the car. It was outside that it hit her where she was. Seeing cars driving on the other side of the road and everyone talking in thick accents around her was enough for her to smile hard.

Even if she was two hours away from the guys, they were standing in the same soil and that was enough for her to breathe calmly for a while.

Ella got in the back seat of the car, and once again she felt like she couldn't sit still. The worst part was that she wasn't even able to call Alex or text him because her phone was basically useless.

So she put her earphones in and connected them to her phone to play some music. Something inside her knew exactly what she needed to hear then and so she scrolled all the way down until she found that song she hadn't been able to stop listening to since that day.

Her eyes watched out of the window, how they were driving on the left side of the road, how different it all was but something felt constant and growing inside her. But then 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards' started and her thoughts drowned before she could even allow herself to point out what it was.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had made light conversation with the driver when they were walking up to the car and he had taken her petition to go as fast as he could to heart. He knew she needed to be there by ten in the evening so he had done the best he could.

Yet that hadn't been enough, because they got there at a little bit over eleven.

The driver had lent Ella his phone so she could call an assistant to the band's manager who was waiting for her to arrive.

The girl had been lovely and told Ella she'd be coming to get her and about thirty minutes later, with her heart leaping on her chest, Ella was walking up to the balcony at the side of the stage.

She was almost in tears seeing and hearing the massive crowd go incredibly insane at the sight of the lads coming back for the encore.

Ella had barely registered the manager's assistant telling Breana that Ella had arrived until Bre had jumped on her to hug her, and that was when the tears had started falling. Ella was so overwhelmed that she was just now processing the long day she'd had and it was hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She was so entranced by the guys getting their instruments and about to perform again that she had only been able to smile and wave at the girls around her. She recognized Kelly of course but she didn't know who out of the two other girls that were there was Katie and who was Alex's best friend.

Alex started strumming his guitar and teasing the crowd with the lyrics to 'Soul Love' by David Bowie, everyone at the balcony laughed as they sang it back to him but he was quick to cut them off when he said, "I'm only messing, I'm only kidding."

He walked backwards for a few seconds before going back to the mic and this time teasing them with 'Yellow' by Coldplay, which made the crowd sing it back to him even louder.

"I'm only messing, I'm only messing." He tried saying but the thousands of people ignored it so he laughed looking at Jamie and shaking his head, "I'm only kidding. Pipe down now, pipe down." And since they still didn't listen, he went ahead and started singing the next song which was 'Cornerstone'.

Ella hadn't even known that they had a string section playing with them until she heard them join the guys during the second verse and she swore she had ascended.

Nothing would ever compare to hearing Alex's stunning voice, accompanied by the violins and cellos, and the crowd so wholeheartedly singing along.

Alex was enthralling standing there just talking to the masses of people and getting them to cheer loudly at him when he suggested an old monkeys song that they didn't perform often. Ella was trying to guess which one it would be when the violins started the gorgeous melody of 'Mardy Bum' and it all sounded even better when the crowd sang along.

It was mesmerizing to say the least. Ella had thought seeing them perform Outside Lands in 2011 had been insane enough, but nothing compared to this. She had never witnessed something like it before and it was leaving her breathless.

A few tears fell down her cheeks and since Bre was holding her close, resting her face against hers, she noticed. The model turned to her best friend, cooing and gave her a loud kiss on the cheek.

Ella was sad she had only caught the end of their performance but so glad to at least have caught a bit of it. She wouldn't have forgiven herself if she had missed it completely.

She watched as Alex changed her acoustic guitar for his Fender jazzmaster when the song was done, and in no time he started playing the chords to 'When The Sun Goes Down'. The crowd was so loud almost completely drowning his voice, making everyone at the balcony sing along.

Just before the song fully kicked in after the first verse, Alex stopped and encouraged the crowd to get louder and louder. It was mental to see how much control he had over them, making them scream as loud as they could with a small movement of his hand.

Finally when they continued, Ella just fully let go of any inhibitions and started dancing with Bre, jumping on her spot and singing along loudly. The girls had done the same, all of them faking playing a guitar and headbanging.

One of the girls she didn't know had wolf whistled and yelled "That's my best friend!" which had Ella instantly knowing who she was. She was glad she had just spent most of the song with her arm swung over the girl's shoulder and both had danced together like they'd known each other their whole lives.

It all got even cuter when Alex asked the crowd if they could help him sing happy birthday to his mum. Ella had melted as she and everyone sang along, Alex had a permanent grin on his face loving the energy and how perfect the night was going.

Ella watched intently as Alex welcomed Miles on stage, whooping and clapping for her friend. She had only been able to see Miles playing 505 with them on video and caught glimpses of it in the studio when the guys were playing around and strummed along for a few seconds, but she was sure this one time would be life changing.

When Alex sang "I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck", she felt Bre teasingly choke her which made her laugh. That made her almost miss Alex doing it to himself softly in front of the whole crowd. She had to keep herself from letting her eyes roll at that, not only because she was in public, surrounded by people but she had to not think about Alex like that.

She couldn't. They were just friends and no matter how attractive she could find him, she couldn't let herself and her thoughts wander beyond that point.

The song reached its climax and she was taken aback by the crowd's volume once again. It was nothing compared to how loud they got by the end of the song, when the lights grew intensely and lit the whole stage as the band waved them goodbye, blew them kisses and left.

Once the guys were out, that's when Ella properly turned and gave Bre the biggest hug to say hello.

"I missed you so much!" Ella had said hidden away in her neck, "Today was awful."

Bre let go to check if she was crying or not, she only found Ella's eyes pooling with tears, "I knew I should've gone with you." The model cooed and hugged her back again, "Let's go back down to their trailer and I'll introduce you to everyone."

Ella sniffled and followed Breana, who was keeping her fingers intertwined with hers as everyone walked out and back to the band's trailer.

She expected the lads to be out there already, but they told them that they had gone to be quickly interviewed at the BBC Radio area. So she took the brief moment of tranquility to properly take a moment and meet the girls officially.

Kelly was the one walking towards them so Ella was quick to meet her in the middle and give her a quick hug.

"Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Ella said enthusiastically, and the bride-to-be hugged her back tightly.

They swayed a bit in their place before letting go of each other, Kelly was a little bit tipsy by then and the lads and Bre had been talking about how excited they were for Ella to get there that she was ecstatic to meet her.

"You too Ella!" Kelly agreed and then turned to see the other two ladies coming to them. Kelly waved them over for them to hurry and both of them started giggling as they quickened their pace.

When they caught up to where they stood, Ella smiled brightly at them, "Hi! I'm Ella, so nice to meet you."

She hadn't known exactly if she should hug them or shake their hands but the answer was given to her when the brunette one crushed her in a tight hug which surprised her.

"I'm so glad we can finally meet!" Ella had reciprocated the hug because she truly needed it and it's only when the girl let go that she said, "I'm Flo. Welcome to England, love."

"Oh! Alex's best friend, the artist! I've heard so much about you." Ella replied, looking at the pretty girl smiling even harder in front of her.

"I sure hope so. I've heard loads about you too, it was about time you came so I could properly meet you." Flo winked and it made her blush, she was intrigued by the amount of times Alex would mention her if his best friend had been so eager to have her here.

Ella giggled and then turned to give the blonde girl who, by process of elimination, would be Cookie's girlfriend. "You must be Katie then?"

"That's me. Hi Ella, so nice to meet you." Katie said with a sweet smile and a tender brief hug.

Ella reciprocated and held her with the same tenderness. "You too. Congratulations on the engagement, by the way. Lucky guy Cookie is."

Katie laughed and waved her off but before she could disagree on that, Flo jumped in saying, "Isn't he?"

Ella nodded, already feeling that Alex's best friend would be one she'd grow the closest with. Katie felt the need to say something about her then so he pointed at the things that they knew from the lads.

"We've seen your pictures Ella and, bloody hell, we might need to hire you for some shoots because you leave me astounded."

Ella smiled brightly at that, her cheeks tinting red as she watched them all throwing compliments around. Bre threw one of her arms around Ella's shoulders and said, "Think maybe we should just take a day away from the guys and play with the camera."

All the girls agreed on it and Ella was totally willing to do it. "I'm down if you guys are down, that'd be amazing. I came up with a few concepts on my way here, actually."

"It's settled then. Girls day will be a photoshoot day with Ella." Flo settled raising her cup in the air.

"You tell us Kelly if you want it before or after the wedding just so we don't interrupt with any plans." Ella was quick to say, remembering the big day coming up.

"Let's do it after. We have loads of time before we leave for our honeymoon."

Flo smirked at her, "Oooooo the honeymoon. Big anticipation for that Boss, make sure you're well rested beforehand. I speak from experience."

"Wait, you're married?" Ella asked in slight shock. Alex had failed to mention that big little detail.

Flo showed off her ring wiggling her eyebrows, "Very happily so." And then she turned to look around for her husband, "Where is he? Curly?!"

And as if it was magic, the lanky man with the long hair Ella had seen earlier at the balcony had popped out of nowhere with a cigarette in hand by the trailer.

"Sweetheart?" He asked and if it wasn't for the way they had kept quiet, they wouldn't have been able to hear him.

"Come here a second, say hi to Ella."

And like every one of her wishes was a command, he appeared right behind her with a smile on his face. He dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it as he offered a hand out to Ella and introduced himself, "Nice to meet you, I'm Matty."

Ella gave him a kind smile, holding herself from cooing at the way he held Flo close to him. "Hi Matty, I'm Ella."

The man smirked, "Oh we know, famous Ella. You're quite the talk around here."

Breana laughed, knowing how much of Ella they had all heard and seen through the band, especially in the past week and earlier that very day.

Ella blushed at the information, "Jesus... Good talk, I hope."

Flo smirked looking at her, "Oh very good talk, especially from Alex. He's been like a broken record since he got back."

She had no idea what to say so she just blushed quietly for a few seconds until Breana pinched her waist and she jumped, "That's... good, I guess."

"Indeed it is." Katie added with a subtle smirk and a raise of eyebrows which only had Ella blushing even harder.

"Okay, yous stop it." Kelly said, finding it adorable how she reacted to everyone's teasing. "You're getting her all red, bless her."

"You know what you need?" Matty asked playfully and Ella shook her head as she lacked a response, "A drink."

"Oh yes. You're far behind." Informed Breana who had been drinking almost all day with the girls.

"What would you like?" Flo asked nicely, wanting to get her new friend going as the night had only just started.

Ella had a think about it but just shrugged when she couldn't decide on anything she particularly wanted at the moment, "Surprise me."

Flo smiled hard, "I love you already."

So Flo and Matty left to make her a drink and the other four girls stayed outside whilst they talked. It had been mostly about the wedding, Ella had managed to convince Kelly that it wasn't gonna be an issue for her to take pictures all day so Kelly allowed her to be another one of their photographers but only at the reception. Because "I don't want you feeling like you're at work during the ceremony, you're our friend.", was the reasoning she'd given her and Ella smiled at her and promised she'd only pull her camera out during the reception.

Miles had appeared then, interrupting the wedding chat to crush Ella in a tight hug, "Fucking finally! We've been waiting for you!" The scouse had made her giggle with the scoff he'd let out after that.

"Sorry, had to get a new flight and it was shit." Ella replied with a struggle from how tight he was holding her.

Miles left a wet kiss on her cheek and pulled back, "Don't apologize. You're here now."

Ella nodded with a sweet smile, letting herself indulge in Miles' side hug and starting up a conversation with him and the rest of the group.

About five minutes later, when they were trying to get information out of Breana about Kelly's bachelorette party or hen do—as the british girls called it—Matty and Flo finally came out of the band's trailer with multiple drinks in hand.

They were carefully coming down the stairs managing to grip onto two cups on each hand when behind them someone yelled, "Oi! What were those two doing alone in our trailer?" It was when they continued saying, "You nasty bastards!" that Ella recognized it was Matt walking back with the rest of the band following behind.

"Oh my god!" Ella yelled, letting go of Miles and completely missing whatever Matty had yelled back at them because she was too busy running towards them.

She had her guestlist wristband on so security didn't stop her when she jetted off to hug the first person she saw, which was the drummer.

Matt had barely even seen her when she threw herself at him, "Ellie! You're here!"

"I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I was late." She truly was sorry but he wasn't having it.

Matt held her tighter and shook his head, "No need to apologize Ellie, it's all fine. You're here!"

Before she could apologize once more, the rest of the band joined them in the hug. They all crushed Ella in between their bodies and said her name in unison which had her laughing.

By the time they'd all let go and given her space, she had shed a few tears. She turned around with a pout and hugged them one by one, apologizing again and again for being late, for which Alex had gone and hugged her again when she was done hugging everyone.

Alex held her tight and rubbed up and down her back, "I told you that all that mattered is that you'd be here darling, and you are."

"I caught the encore." She mumbled in his ear, sniffling.

He loosened his grip on her and made her look up at him, "Did you like it?"

"It was insane Al. The crowd was so loud! And the strings!" Ella fanned her face to gather herself, "I will cry just picturing how it was from the very start."

"Don't cry darling." Alex cooed, brushing some of her hair behind her ear and wiping a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "We'll catch a rerun of it on TV next week, it's okay."

She didn't have time to keep protesting because Alex started leaving kisses all over her face until she giggled. It was only when she couldn't breathe from laughter that he stopped, getting a hold of her hand and followed the lads walking back to where everyone was gathered.

When they got there though, Ella was met with someone she didn't know. Thankfully, Alex was quick to introduce them to her.

"Ella, this is Penny, my mum. Penny, this is Ella." He let go of her to let her freely hug his mum.

And that Ella did, holding Penny tighter when she'd said "Oh it's so lovely to meet you, sweetie."

"You too. Happy birthday, by the way. That was a lovely serenade you got just then."

Penny cooed, "Oh thank you. And it was, wasn't it?" She turned to her son to steal a hug from him, "Thanks to this one."

Alex relished in his mum's embrace, leaving a kiss on top of her head. "Love you mum." She saw as she was all ready to walk out, her friend waiting for her beside his manager by the entrance of the backstage area. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, so sorry to leave you lot but I can't be camping out anymore. I'm not fit for this lifestyle now." Penny joked, looking at everyone who was watching the interaction intently.

Ella scoffed, acting like Penny was saying just pure lies, "What are you on about? I was gonna take you out dancing to celebrate!"

Alex's mum laughed at that, gently grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Oh sweetie, that's a tempting offer, that."

Flo joined in Ella's antics, "We'll bring the party up north next week then Penny, get yourself ready."

"That better be a promise." She pointed at the girl she had seen grow up, and Flo blew her a kiss in response.

Alex left Ella with their friends to walk his mom back to her friend, making sure they were all set to leave. And as he went back, he couldn't believe his eyes.

He had been anxiously waiting all day for her to arrive, his heart beating a bit faster the closer it got to their set. He tried blaming it on headlining Glastonbury for a second time but he knew deep inside that really wasn't it. Yes it was making him nervous, but most of all it was because of Ella.

When he had walked on stage, he had anticipated that his thoughts would be fully taken over by the crowd and the place they were at, but he had been wrong—the thought of where Ella was, held a place in the back of his head throughout the whole set.

And when they had been taken to BBC Radio's lounge to get interviewed and saw the mirrorballs hanging from the ceiling, along with the cow print on the floor, he was taken back to Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

He'd been so fucking glad to see her there as they came back. And now, walking back and seeing her laugh with his childhood best friend, it was a sight that had him grinning brightly to himself.

The group seemed to be talking very eagerly about something, and he was just beyond happy that Ella fit perfectly with them all. His smile only faltered when he was getting closer to them and Ella snapped her head in his direction with a deep frown and a gasp.

"Alex Turner, how could you keep this information from me?!" Ella asked loudly, as she had just been embarrassed for not knowing something that seemed like everyone knew.

Alex giggled, frowning back at her, "What?"

"You've never told me that your best friend's husband is in a band as well?" Matty had just said he was excited for the next day and Ella had asked what was happening, which Flo had laughed hard about when she realized Alex had failed to mention it to her.

"Oh," he cringed, "Sorry darling." He apologized to Ella first and then turned to Matty to make sure he hadn't taken offense by it, which he hadn't but just in case Alex said, "Sorry mate."

"S'alright." Matty waved off with an amused smile at Ella's bright red cheeks.

But Ella didn't agree, "Yeah, it's not for me but whatever."

Alex laughed, noting that she had a drink in hand and he guessed that would have to do a little bit with her current mood. "What are you drinking Eleanor?"

"It's called 'none of your business', isn't it Flo?" Ella asked the brunette seriously.

Flo tried to match her seriousness but her smile couldn't be held back, "That's right."

Alex took the drink from her, only to take a sip and when he did he realized what it was. "Angel, you gave her a jagerbomb? She can't handle alcohol, she's gonna be plastered by half past."

"Well, I'll blame this beautiful angel right here." Ella nodded towards his best friend, playing with the word he had just called her, and Flo did a small curtsy back at her.

Alex hadn't expected this duo to be such trouble. He feared them and Bre together would be even worse and he didn't know what to expect.

"Of course you will." Alex shook his head with a smile, and Flo winked at him. She knew him like the back of her hand, and she could just see it all written on Alex's face. He was whipped.

It had been a lovely night, slowly and with the help of the drinks, the buzz the lads had gotten from the night had gone down and by three in the morning, they were all ready to go to sleep. Especially Ella, who despite having multiple jagerbombs with Flo, had succumbed to her exhaustion from her long day traveling.

The lads had their tour bus parked somewhere in the fields, so after the group said bye to Matty and Flo who were staying with the rest of their group, they took on a long drunk walk back to the bus. It had been filled with giggles at the clumsy steps they'd take, especially Ella and Bre's who were holding onto Miles' arms and subsequently making him trip with them.

The walk back had been exhaustingly long to them all in their drunken states, so when they finally reached the massive vehicle, they jetted off up the stairs by the door and chose the first bunk they saw.

Thankfully no one had chosen their bunks yet so there wasn't any bickering about someone stealing someone else's bed but it was hilarious to Alex, who had been the last to go up, to see everyone lazily slump into the beds and groan in relief when they could finally rest their bodies.

Due to how drunk everyone was, they had passed out almost immediately and slept deep and uninterrupted all throughout the night, even through the choir of snores coming from Nick and Matt.

That was until the noise outside woke them up at around eleven and they all realized that if they didn't properly wake up soon and get ready for the day, they'd miss Matty's band.

So, like they had been shocked back alive, the girls started getting ready quickly. Ella was so thankful for the bathroom in the bus being a decent size and it hadn't been much of a burden getting ready in the enclosed space.

She was also grateful for the girls around her, who were going on and on about all that Ella was going to see and what she couldn't miss, warning her about different things around the field but making her more excited about it all by the second.

They all had a bite of food on their way to the stage The 1975 would perform on, and they got there just in time. Matty's band was due on stage in ten minutes, when the group walked up to where Matty and Flo were standing by the steps that would take them up the stage.

Ella was well aware she stood up like a sore thumb from how she was dressed, not that her black shorts and her The Doors shirt were strange but her black and silver cowboy boots were. She had earned herself quite a lot of glances as they paraded around the place, but she couldn't care less.

Matty pointed them out right away but with a compliment because he truly loved them, "Fucking love your boots Ella."

"Awh thanks Matty." She looked down at them, already muddy and dusty but she loved it, it reminded her of home.

His wife had taken the chance to tease him then, "Be careful, he might try to steal them. He's taken half my wardrobe."

Matty bit back saying, "We're married so what's yours is mine. Technically not stealing."

A very tall guy with a man bun walked behind Flo and clicked his tongue as he threw an arm around her shoulders, "He got you there baby."

"George, you're supposed to be on my side always." Flo complained, but leaned into George's touch.

"For that you've got your cousin." The tall guy argued with a smirk, which made Flo elbow him on the ribs.

Matty cackled watching George doubled over in pain and Flo took that moment to turn around and call over the two other members of the band to meet Ella.

Another very tall guy with a buzzcut came their way, along with a slightly shorter brunette, and when they stood beside her with soft smiles, Flo introduced them to Ella.

"Ella, this is George," She pointed to the tallest one who had just been hurt in the ribs, "This is Ross." She then signaled to the one with the buzzcut and finished by pointing at the brunette, "And this is my cousin, Adam."

Ella smiled at them, "Nice to meet y'all."

They all reciprocated the pleasantry with smiles of their own and they started small talk until they were called on stage.

The big Monkeys group stood on the side of the stage, watching The 1975 get cheered on as they grabbed their instruments.

As they played their first three songs, Ella made a mental note to listen to their music when she had the time because they were amazing live and they had this sound that she wasn't really used to listening but she'd just loved. They all had great stage presence, just by enjoying performing and dancing around, and it was funny to hear all the things Matty would just say in between lines.

Their little group had all cheered along with the crowd by the end of 'You' when Matty jumped on George's drumset and played the end of the song headbanging as he looked down towards George.

They all looked amazing on stage, and when the next song started and the crowd got even louder, they fed more off of their energy and somehow got even more hyper.

Ella was particularly entranced by George, seeing every single one of his facial expressions as he hit the drums had her just gawking at him.

She had leaned back a bit knowing that was the only way Flo and Bre would hear her say, "He's fucking hot." as she pointed at the drummer.

Alex's best friend laughed loudly at that, making Matt and Alex turn around to see what had happened and when she informed them of what Ella had just said, Matt joined the laughter while Alex only rolled his eyes in amusement.

"You fancy George then?" Matt asked loudly over the speakers.

"I mean look at him!" Ella had said, he truly looked amazing, "Oh, and Ross! Flo, even your cousin looks hot right now!"

"I'm glad we share opinions when it comes to George." Flo winked at her, "I'll make sure to relay the message."

Ella blushed just thinking about it and shook her head, mortified, "Oh god, no, don't."

"But you need a rebound!" Matt fought and Bre nodded intently.

"No, that'd be so messy!" Ella shook her head just thinking about how she wouldn't be able to act normal if she actually made a move on one of Flo's friends.

"That'd be messy alright. The nice kind of messy." Flo said and that just made Ella double over in laughter.

They kept listening to the rest of the song after that, and Ella was sure she'd have the chorus stuck in her head forever. 'Chocolate' was a hit, no wonder it had been their breakthrough.

She pouted when Matty said the next one will be their last, leaving her to wish to see a longer set of theirs in the future.

The strong riff of the guitar had her already hooked but it was the lyrics to it that made her slowly become obsessed with it.

When Matty turned around to point at Flo as he sang "She's got a boyfriend anyway", Ella gasped realizing this was about her. She screeched then when Matty turned back around to face the crowd and the lyrics got more interesting.

She couldn't help but become entranced by how proud Flo looked of Matty, it was so sweet to see the way she wholeheartedly sang along, her smile never leaving her face.

The end of the song was just heavy and perfect, made it erratic and Ella was absolutely loving it. Especially when the last line Matty sang was changed to "You've got a husband anyway" as he pointed at himself while looking straight at his wife.

Flo blew him a kiss and Matty turned around to play the outro of the song with all the energy he had, it was captivating. Ella was taken aback when it hit her that she was now friends with all these incredible musicians, it was truly a dream that had her pinching herself.

When the guys came off stage, it was pure adrenaline they were running on. Matty didn't take a second to kiss his wife earnestly, and Ella could almost cry from how adorable they were.

The rest of the day had been spent with them all running around the festival, sharing drinks as they tried to catch up to artists in different stages, bumping into friends like Zackery who had taken a few pictures of them—and introduced the band to a group of artists who had designed and hand painted a leather jacket for them at their request for a song in the upcoming album.

Ella had been loving how different yet similar the festival was when comparing it to Bonnaroo. The messy muddy fields, the loud chatter and laughter, the smell of good food in the air mixed with the good weed. She was on cloud nine and she didn't want to leave.

That night they watched The Rolling Stones and it had been absolutely insane seeing Mick Jagger on stage. She was sure she'd lose her voice from how loud she screamed when Mick Taylor was invited on stage and when they performed '2000 Light Years From Home'. She was sure she'd never be able to listen to The Rolling Stones the same ever again.

Sunday hadn't been any different. They had enjoyed every bit of the festival like it was the last they'd ever attend.

Ella had been so grateful to have experienced all of it, and she had made sure to tell Alex that multiple times. The group was so glad they had the massive bus to drive them back home and they needn't worry about a thing through the whole drive but be completely comfortable and enjoy the peace after the bustling weekend. It had ended up being almost three hours due to the traffic, but that had allowed them to rest longer so they didn't complain.

She'd asked to be dropped off at the hotel she was staying at and Alex had offered to go with her and then walk home as she wasn't staying too far away from his flat, but she declined because she knew he was exhausted and so was she so she walked in alone at four in the morning to check in.

It was amazing that it hadn't been a struggle to get checked in, she had been expecting something going wrong with that too after all that had happened at the airports when she was on her way there but it hadn't been, so with her keys in hand she made her merry way up to the fifth floor and to her room.

The little energy Ella had left in her was put into taking a shower, brushing her teeth and just plopping onto bed. The weekend had felt longer than just three days, it felt like it had already been a week since she'd had to run around Montreal's airport like a madwoman looking for a new ticket.

She sighed happily as she snuggled into the plush pillows in the dark, her eyes closed but behind her eyelids was the whole weekend playing like a film and she found herself filling up with warmth. She couldn't wait to see what else this trip would have in store for her, she only hoped it was all good.

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The greatness of the London Eye had Ella trying to gather herself in search of words. She had been struggling to truly believe where she was since she woke up to a view she wasn't used to, gloomy and no sun out, the sky teasing a rainfall later, a little chilly when she went out the balcony for a smoke and the bustling of a city she was yet to get to know.

Alex had called her—thankfully they had figured out the whole cell roaming situation during the weekend so she wasn't uncommunicated and alone—, telling her to get ready as he was coming to get her and they'd be walking around London so she could get her proper touristy stroll around the city.

She had personally asked him for one at Glastonbury, when they were eating as they walked between stages, and he had gladly agreed to it. He wanted to be the one to witness her reactions to one of the cities he held so close to his heart.

Ella's steps slowed as they got closer to the attraction, people already in a long line at eleven in the morning.

"Holy fuck, it's huge." She gasped, staring all around the giant metal structure.

Alex just watched her mesmerized expression with a smile, "D'you wanna get on it?"

"Erm, not really. But I might as well have to, right?" She was looking at the very top of it which was barely in her line of sight but she would have to bear it because why would she come all the way there to not get on it.

"Flying all the way here to not get on it would be regrettable." He said honestly, it looked scary but it was a great experience, one that he didn't want her to miss.

Ella sighed, her brows a little furrowed as she gathered some courage, "Alright let's go."

They quietly walked to the end of the line, which had resumed moving slowly, and Ella felt her heart racing in her chest. Not only because of how she was shitting it thinking about how high she'd be once inside but from the memories coming aggressively to the forefront of her mind.

Valentine's day, Belmont Park. With Alex beside her, just like at that very moment.

She smiled to herself, the thought of that day no longer bitter by any grudges she was holding. So she thought mentioning it might distract her and keep her from shaking. "At least it's a shorter wait than the one we did at Belmont Park, remember?"

Alex gave her a sweet smile, really enjoying the opportunity to think back to that day but he also wanted to take the moment to tease her as she was fidgeting in her place. "Still afraid of heights, darling?"

"Yes but don't remind me, or I'll make you take me to the next place to not get on." Ella smiled slightly embarrassed, her cheeks tinting a faint pink.

"You silly thing." Alex laughed breathlessly, reaching out to grab her wrist and pull her into his side to hug her, "Just think about all the stunning pictures you're gonna be able to take."

She melted into him, looking up and grinned brightly at him, "You just always know how to get me on your side, don't you?" It really did seem like it to her, how fast he could make her twist her arm into stepping out of her comfort zone so she'd enjoy herself.

He just stared down at her adoringly, counting every freckle on her cheeks and admiring how the makeup she had on just accentuated every little thing on her face. So he said sincerely, "I'm glad I do." because he was truly grateful he could.

About ten minutes passed, silence between them was comfortable but sometimes broken by small talk about random things they'd remember or things she was hoping to see and the possibilities of places they could visit.

They had stayed holding each other the whole time: Alex's arm around her shoulders, his fingers clutching her tightly, and Ella's arm around his waist, her thumb rubbing little circles over the fabric of his shirt.

That was until she had remembered about Alex and who he was and she had started overthinking and noticing more and more the glances the people in line were giving them, so she gently pushed herself away from him and he had to slowly let his arm drop from its place around her.

Alex gave her a questioning look and Ella recoiled into herself as she gave him an answer, "I just keep thinking people are looking at us– well, you. And I don't wanna get you in trouble."

"What do you mean?" The singer frowned, not really understanding in which way she'd do that.

"Well, I just feel like they keep glancing over here and I don't want you to get swarmed for being recognized." Her voice was small as she explained, scared of sounding stupid but in her head, it made sense.

He chuckled softly, brushing off his status. "Darling, I'm not that big of a deal."

But Ella wouldn't let him try to downplay it, "Sure you aren't Mr. Rockstar." She rolled her eyes with amusement, "This is your home country, and you're massive here."

Alex just shook his head to have her let go of her worries, "Not gonna get swarmed, darling." And then he further explained, "You know most—if not all—known people that do, is because they get their agents to put out their locations for paparazzi and media's attention right?"

"Oh?" Ella blushed, feeling oh so stupid, "Do they really?"

"Yeah, and it's bullshit. You'll never find me doing that so don't worry. We're safe." He assured, tucking her into his side once more and he smiled when he felt her arm snaking around his middle once again.

"It's just because you love the mysterious act, though, isn't it? Maintains the appeal." She pinched his waist to accentuate the teasing, making him laugh.

"Dickhead."

They laughed together then, falling back into a comfortable silence, just relishing in the warmth they got from each other. It wasn't awfully cold but it was chilly and it was how used she'd gotten to Californian weather that had her performing worse in weather that she used to be able to bear when she lived in Tennessee.

Alex kept her warm and cozy so Ella found herself really snuggling into him and he accepted it with a smirk on his face. Moments like this was all he wanted.

The minutes passed and Ella couldn't help but be hypnotized by the whole scene, especially when they moved further and further up the line until they ended up in a corner where they had the perfect backdrop of the Thames and the city of London.

He felt her get away from his hold again but when she saw her reaching down to grab the camera hanging from around her neck, he breathed calmly.

"Stay there, I wanna take a picture." She instructed, seeing that his position was perfect for a picture.

"Here?" Alex asked, not sure if she really wanted a picture of him right there and then.

But Ella showed him the prettiest smile and said, "Yep, just like that." and Alex couldn't say no, not that he'd really ever tell her no. "Smile for me, sweets." The pet name rolled off her tongue so easily when seeing him standing like that in front of her.

"Sweets?" A massive grin broke out on his face hearing her call him that, his insides melting at the simple word.

Ella pressed the shutter instantly, exhaling in relief at having caught that face in time. "Perfect."

"Sweets?" Alex asked again just to check he hadn't imagined that.

"Yeah..." She timidly confirmed, rolling the film and tucking the lever back in its place to turn off the camera and let it softly drop back over her chest.

He watched her take small steps towards him again and accepted her back in his arms with a "M'kay darling."

Ella poked his ribs making him jump before asking "You don't like it?"

Alex was quick to retort, "Who said that?"

"I don't know–" She tried to start but he was quick to dismiss the whole thing.

"I love it." He backtracked quickly and firmly with an honest smile on his face that had her biting her tongue and fighting back a smile just as big as his.

In no time, the line moved sporadically and it was sooner than expected that they were boarded into a capsule with a family of five.

Ella stepped inside with wobbly steps and Alex followed closely behind. "Oh my god..." Her words were breathless as she was taken aback by the view around her.

"That line was quicker than I expected." The singer thought out loud as he got beside her, both of them standing close to the windows.

But when she heard the glass doors closing and felt the capsule moving to the right, she took a big step back and reached back to hold his hand. "Al, you're gonna have to stay near me because this is freaking me out."

He squeezed her hand in his and giggled, "I'll stay right here."

"Okay..." Ella mumbled unsure but soon her whole attention was taken by how perfectly she could see it all in front of her. "This is so beautiful."

Alex could feel her hands growing sweaty and starting to shake so he took it upon himself to distract her. "You can see it all from here. Look," He pointed to their left, "That's Westminster bridge, the Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and Parliament." He listed as his finger pointed at each of the landmarks, making sure she was correctly watching each as he talked, "We can see it a bit better now that it's going up, oh and there's Buckingham Palace as well."

It looked so small from there but it was still breathtaking, "Oh wow..." Her heart was swelling in her chest now, just from being able to experience this, "We can see the whole city, Al!" She whispered with such excitement that made Alex want to coo at her.

"It's quite the view, isn't it." He took the smallest step towards her until he was pressed softly against her back and he leaned in to watch her face.

She turned to him completely mesmerized, "I think New York has got some big competition in my book now."

"A tough one between them two." He agreed, resting his chin on her shoulder for a second before standing back up straight again and pointing to their right now, "Oh look, over there is St. Paul's Cathedral. We're going there later 'cause I know you'll love it. And way back over there is the Tower of London and Tower Bridge."

Her eyes swam around the panoramic view and it was all well until she made the mistake of looking down to her feet and her heart sank. With her eyes closed, her panicked words came out incredibly fast, "I'm loving this view but I just accidentally looked down and I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack."

"You're okay darling, I'm here." Alex promised, taking his hand that was still intertwined with hers and wrapping that arm around her waist, "Just take your pictures, I won't move an inch."

She gulped and let her eyes open up again, feeling slightly better in his hold and slowly untangled her fingers from his to lift her camera, "Okay."

It certainly worked like magic. The second she started looking at the city through that viewfinder, it was like she had completely forgotten she was hundreds of feet above the ground in a spinning wheel, completely focused on capturing the panorama as best as she could.

Alex watched intently as she worked, noticing the little things she did like biting her lip as her finger hovered and seemed to hesitate for a few seconds over the shutter until she caught the perfect moment and it was just a triumphant smile as she turned the lever and then the cycle began again.

Ella counted the shots in her head and only stopped when she had only twelve frames left in the roll.

Letting her head fall on Alex's shoulder, she had to ask, "How long does this take again?" Only because she had felt like she'd lost track of time.

"Half an hour but it's already been fifteen minutes so we're halfway there." His fingers rubbed circles on her waist, sometimes the pads of his fingertips managing to get under her shirt and erupting goosebumps on her skin.

She felt like she was burning up so she let her camera drop back down on her chest and turned around to face him. "I'm just gonna stare at you now because if I look out I'm definitely gonna freak out." She giggled a bit, trying to trick herself into thinking that looking at Alex wouldn't have her chest tighten just as much.

"That's fine by me." He replied with a smirk.

But she didn't entertain his teasing, only giving him a sincere, "Thank you." in return.

His face fell into a sweet smile, "Nothing to thank me for, darling. I'm buzzing to have you here right now." He wasn't afraid to admit it at all, because he truly was beyond happy about the whole situation.

"See? Sweetness!" She softly exclaimed, bringing one of her hands up to cup his cheek but before Alex could get his hopes up on anything happening, she squished his cheeks with her hand, "You're just pure sweetness."

Ella felt his face go warm under her touch so with a giggle she let her hand fall back down. "Your hair looks great today." He looked great. In a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and his brown leather jacket—he had changed the Chelsea boots for white high top converse and a pair of sunglasses had been tucked into one of the pockets of his jacket.

"You like it?" Alex asked innocently like the simple compliment hadn't made his heart rate stutter.

She nodded, "You know I do. It always looks amazing but whenever it's just like this, without gel..." Her fingers combed through the freshly cut greaser looking hairstyle, "It's so soft."

He nudged her hand with his nose softly and joked, "Are you messing it up?"

She chuckled, combing through it again and again to give it its perfect shape, "I'm fixing a few strands here." She used both her hands then to bring a few of the strands to fall on his forehead like she loved. "There you go."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Look good?"

Ella's answer was quick, "Beautiful." And she didn't waste a beat to ask, "Can I have another picture?"

"Of me?" Alex asked naively and she just hummed, so he shrugged and nodded, "I suppose."

"I wanna have one of this very moment. With you, my favorite tourist guide." She joked in the end to make it seem less like she was baring her heart out to him.

"Right." He chuckled, his eyes crinkling around the edges slightly.

But she wanted more, she wanted to see his grin fully reach his eyes. "C'mon sweets, show me that gorgeous smile."

Her teasing worked because he felt his cheeks warming again and he had to keep himself from averting his gaze from hers, "Stop." He only said, half a warning but mostly a plea for mercy on his heart.

"What?" Ella inquired like she had nothing to do with it, if she only knew all that she did to him. "Amazing, t'was perfect." She complimented once more.

Alex had to change the topic then because he felt like he could combust any second, "Are you taking them in black and white?"

She had mentioned it earlier when he'd called her, as she was debating whether or not it'd look better. "Decided against it last minute. I don't know, there's something about the atmosphere today that I just wanted to capture the closest to reality I could."

He hummed, understanding what she meant, "You can always take the black and white ones later, you're staying three weeks after all."

Ella smiled brightly at the reminder, that many days just sounded so promising and she couldn't ignore how this was one of the very few times she felt ecstatic thinking about the uncertainty of what the future had to hold.

"So glad I am. It's barely been three days and I already know this is one of the best trips of my life."

"It's only just getting started darling." Alex winked, making a giggle bubble up her throat again and what a lovely sound that was.

Just like that, they had done the full ride and they hadn't realized it was done until they heard the doors open back up, way too entranced in their own little bubble. It was lucky that the rest of the people inside their capsule were on holiday and no one from the family had interest in finding out who they were or interrupting what they were doing.

When they walked out, Alex let out a loud laugh when Ella thanked God for firm soil multiple times, said so devotedly like she wasn't a determined atheist.

From there, they walked through Westminster Bridge to get to Big Ben. Ella had gasped as their feet took them across the bridge and asked Alex to pinch her because she felt like she was dreaming.

She couldn't believe her eyes were actually seeing all of that for themselves in real life and not through stock pictures on Google.

Seeing her glowing from her excitement had Alex's heart breaking as he had to give her some bad news. "This actually has me fuming now because this is just one of those things everyone wants to see once in their life but, a few years back they closed all Big Ben and Parliament tours to people who aren't UK citizens or residents so unfortunately I won't be able to take you inside for a tour."

Ella clearly deflated but it was in an instant that she really turned the situation around in her head. She shook her head standing in her place, making Alex stop beside her on the sidewalk, and she pointed at the landmark right in front of them, "But I'm seeing it right now and that's what counts, Al. It's okay."

Alex hummed reluctantly, still disappointed at not being able to give her the best experience. "We can walk around it, I'm half sure there's some places you can manage to take a peek inside."

She giggled and grabbed his hand, fingers intertwining as she went ahead and dragged him behind her to finish their walk through the bridge. Alex didn't say a word, his smile permanently stuck on his face as he watched her walk enthusiastically in front of him.

She had changed her roll of film right when they got to the street across the monumental place. Alex chuckled as she made him help her by covering her device with his jacket so that her first roll didn't mess up as she put it away, and the new one didn't either as she locked it and rolled it inside before placing the lid back in its place.

They resumed their walk, Alex closely walking next to her with a hand hovering on her lower back as she kept her hands engulfed around her camera but he felt the need to keep his touch on her.

Ella had taken so many pictures already, and about fifteen minutes later she had grown worried she hadn't stuffed enough rolls in her bag before leaving her hotel room. Half the frames she had captured had been of him, either smiling at the camera or unaware as he walked beside her with a burning cigarette resting between his lips.

There was a particular one in which she had stopped without saying a word and he had kept walking a few paces before noticing she wasn't beside him anymore, and when he turned around to search for her, the shutter went off.

Her heart kicked in her chest at the memory of that one picture she had taken of him, back at the start of 2012 when the lads had just come back over to Los Angeles and she had taken them around the city, the one where he was looking back at her with the rest of the band walking in front of him.

Her throat ran a little dry as she placed her camera back down to rest on her chest and watched Alex walk back towards her.

"You've been taking so many pictures of me already, let me take yours." His voice sounded almost like a beg and her knees went a little weak.

Only because of the way he'd said that had made her feel, Ella sighed with a smile and pulled her camera back up, "Alright, I'll show you how to."

She showed him the basics around her in a simple manner and he seemed to catch it all quite quickly. After all, he had seen Matt taking pictures and had gotten ahold of the drummer's cameras throughout the years so it all came back to him when Ella had done her brief run down.

Alex listened to her instructions of having him take a few pictures of their surroundings just so he could get comfortable, and it only took two to have him nodding and reassuring he was ready to take her picture. Ella nodded with a shy smile and took two steps back to stand in front of the camera.

Truth be told, Ella had always preferred being behind the camera and not in front of the lens but it was just because she never thought she was interesting enough to be the constant subject of pictures.

Alex couldn't think of her more differently. Seeing her with a bright smile that had her eyes closing, her hands intertwined in front of her as she softly leaned her head to the side and her hair so perfectly falling over her shoulders had him thinking about how if she looked this breathtaking in front of the camera in such a normal setting, then she needed to be in front of it at all times.

That's why right after the shutter sound went off and she relaxed again, he rolled the film and took another picture without warning her.

That made her shriek and hide behind her hands, "Alex no! It's gonna look so bad!" Ella's words were muffled as her hands covered her face.

"I'm looking through the viewfinder and you look stunning, darling." He was quick to reassure her, "Now could you please drop your hands? I want to take another one." His skilled fingers rolled the film once more as he tried his best to convince her with his eyes.

That unfair look in his eyes made it so impossible to resist anything he could ever suggest. "Last one?" She made sure to ask him before giving in.

"Fine, last one." He agreed with a sigh, his stomach doing somersaults at having gotten away with it.

She slowly let her hands fall back by her sides and it wasn't until he said, "That's it. Beautiful, darling." that he took the picture as her face broke in another massive grin that made his heart skip a beat.

Ella ignored the way her tummy was fluttering as she reached out for her camera, "Alright sweets, that's enough." She wasted no time to push the lever back in its place and hook the camera strap around her neck again, the camera falling to rest on top of her chest.

"Only for now." He countered smoothly, making her scoff out a laugh.

After that they continued walking, leaving Big Ben and Parliament behind to make way to Westminster Abbey.

The massive church was breathtaking. Its structure was gothic architecture perfection inside and out, which accompanied by the stunning gardens and sculptures just made Ella be more in awe.

The gray sky tied everything together, the birds flying around and resting in the old walls and peaks, the tinted windows looking straight out of a painting.

Ella spent a full roll there, small gasps leaving her mouth every corner they turned. She had even been so entranced by the devotees kneeling on the seats and offering their prayers, unbothered by the rest of the people walking around them. Religion was a concept that fascinated her because of how much she just didn't get it like those people praying did.

Once out of that place, they walked to Buckingham Palace and it was a funny stroll since Ella couldn't stop bouncing on her feet like a little girl, asking loads of questions she could come up with about the Royal Family.

"You know," She started with a small smirk on her face, "Prince Harry is fit."

Alex cackled at the way she said it, listening to her try and incorporate British slang in her vocabulary had been endearing all weekend and he was glad she wasn't stopping it. "Oh really?"

Ella hummed eagerly, "I wonder if he'd give an American a chance."

"So you're aiming for the Royals now?" The singer inquired rhetorically with a cheeky smile.

She shrugged, smirking back at him, "Why not?"

Alex chuckled, "That's ambitious."

"Well I like to think of myself as an ambitious person."

With a nudge to her hip, he grabbed a hold of her hand so they could walk a little faster, "Alright Miss Ambitious, we're almost at your lover's place."

From afar Ella could see the palace behind the trees and she thought about the different instances a person could be allowed into the place. "I'm sure we could get in if you just said you're from the biggest British band in history."

"The Beatles are way older than me and half of them are dead so I don't think they'll believe me."

Ella snorted at how nonchalantly he'd just said that and turned her head to look at him as they kept on walking, "Oh you're being humble now."

Alex scoffed playfully, like her words had offended him, "When am I not?"

"I can list some instances." She shrugged again with a teasing smirk on her face.

His eyes narrowed at her as if challenging her to start talking, "Enlighten me then."

But all Alex was met with was silence as they finally got to the big black and gold arches and crossing the road from there was the monumental place standing there in all its glory. The Victoria Memorial was even bigger and more spectacular than she'd seen in pictures, the gold against the gloomy sky and the greenery around was leaving her breathless.

So Ella dropped Alex's hand and started snapping away, frame after frame until they walked closer to the gates of Buckingham Palace and she caught a glimpse of the beefeaters standing there like they were frozen in time and just that got her even more excited about it all.

"They look like little dolls! Oh my god, look at them!" She waved them hello so enthusiastically making Alex hold giggles back and when the guards just stood there without moving a single inch, she turned back to pout at Alex.

The shaking of his head and the "You're so painfully American," he gave her contrasted immensely against his growing smile.

"Hey!" Ella gasped and poked him in the ribs, "Don't call me out like that, I was blending in perfectly well." She joked but she was well aware she hadn't been.

"Yeah, sorry. You were, darling." Alex corrected, faking agreeing with her, "Everyone's a tourist here, so yes you were blending in perfectly well." He changed his words to tease her further and the way her jaw dropped a bit and she frowned at him made him laugh.

They were there for about twenty minutes, walking slowly and taking their time so Ella could capture the moment the best she could. She had taken a few of Alex when he wasn't noticing but at the third one she'd gotten caught, meaning she got pictures taken of her by Alex.

As they waited for some people to move around so they could get a better view from a different angle, they were playing a game that had started with Ella making funny guesses about members of the Royal Family and their hobbies, which had earned her multiple laughs from Alex as she really had no clue about anything to do with the Royals.

Eventually, when the place started getting more crowded, they decided to move onto the next place which Alex had said would be Piccadilly Circus so they could get some lunch and then continue on.

Trafalgar Square had been captured in multiple of her frames and she had finished her film roll as they walked up to the restaurant they were going to eat at. Once again Alex had helped her change her roll covering her camera with his jacket, giggling as she struggled to properly roll it as she couldn't see well what she was doing in the darkness they were making for the film to not get fucked.

Once Ella had managed to set everything up, Alex had asked her if he could have the camera for a bit and of course she said yes. The prospect of getting Alex into one of her passions had her smiling as he took pictures of a place he already knew so well and since she knew he was capturing the views for her, she took her own time to take everything in: the streets, the people, the chatter going on around her, the restlessness of the city, the smell of smoke and coffee every time they walked past a coffee shop, the memories in the making around her that she'd never get to know.

She loved it all.

Ella was so entranced by the scene and completely caught up by her thoughts that she'd missed the multiple times Alex had managed to sneak a picture of her. Only really catching him smiling proudly at her as he lowered the camera from his eyes when she had turned to point at a girl who was wearing an Arctic Monkeys shirt as she smoked outside a restaurant.

Alex chuckled, letting the camera hang around his neck and getting a hold of Ella's hand to then keep walking to the place that was not very far away from where they were then.

When they got there, Ella had been surprised by the fact that Alex had gotten a reservation for them and he had almost perfectly timed it all. They only showed up ten minutes early to their table and it wasn't a fuzz for them to wait.

He offered her a cigarette and, between chatter, they waited for their turn to come up. It had been relatively easy as they finally talked about the adventure it had been for Ella to fly over and it had ended with them hugging as Ella got a bit upset again over not being able to see their full set.

With a promise to find out when they'd be replaying their set on BBC, they went back to get seated as it finally had turned into the time they had the reservation for.

They didn't rush through their meal, enjoying every minute they could get in the lovely restaurant and talking about absolutely anything that came to their minds. And after a pouty Ella—since he hadn't let her pay for the meal—had let Alex take a picture of her with the English streets in the background, they had left the place to resume their stroll.

Their pace was slower then, Alex had suggested taking a cab to get to the next place so she didn't have to walk that much but Ella declined it saying it was alright plus she loved how they could just simply walk places around the city unlike in Los Angeles. It was only when they got to Covent Garden and walked past the underground station that she asked why they hadn't used it yet.

"This one has 193 steps to go up and down it. I was being kind not taking you through it to get here but we can take it to get to St. Paul's if you'd like."

Ella had gasped at the information, because who the fuck in their right minds would make a station have that many stairs. "193?!" She asked again and Alex nodded amused at her disbelief, "Why?"

He chuckled and shrugged, "Been asking the same question for far too many years."

"That's insane." She said under her breath as they continued walking, then remembering his suggestion, "And no, let's not do that. Can we take the bus? I've yet to get on one and I really want to be the cliché American being amazed on every type of your public transportation."

Alex's laughter reached her ears, making her grin brightly at him. "Of course we can." He assured her and Ella scrunched her nose at him for being adorable, but then he continued, "And you're being the best cliché American. Really off the charts performance, darling." making her roll her eyes in amusement.

Between teasing comments, giggles and playful nudges, it didn't take them long to get to the Apple Market and there Ella was instantly blown away by the amount of shops and market-type kiosks of trinkets, hand-made jewelry, souvenirs and art.

They took their time walking around, really ignoring the retail shops because Ella was far more interested in taking her time to look around the little stands in the middle of the place, and it was all so beautiful.

The variety of goods that were offered out for everyone was amazing, and she gasped when they made it to a stand that was offering analog cameras, leather and handmade camera straps, camera cases and lenses.

She had thought about getting one of the few medium format cameras that were there but decided against it after a good few minutes of internal debate. Alex had watched her amused the whole time and giggled when she went from staring between a Halina, a Rolleiflex and a Pentax to getting one of the leather camera cases along with a strap and bought it.

It was bad how indecisive she was because she had spent so much time in the first few shops that she felt the need to rush through her indecision which ended in her buying at least one thing from every shop she had purposely stopped by.

There was a little red bus in her bag, along with a few magnets, her new camera case and strap, a locket, a few pins, a set of coasters and the last kiosk they were looking at was full of rings, necklaces and more handmade jewelry.

Ella easily fell into conversation with the lovely old man who was the owner of the little store. She had complimented him after he told her it was him who made every piece by hand, and she took her time to look intently through it all.

A few minutes passed of her taking a closer look at the different accessories but since she couldn't make a proper choice, she turned to Alex for help.

With her lips pressed she grabbed his wrist to pull him closer and in a bit of panic, she looked up to him and asked, "Could you choose for me please?"

Alex bit his bottom lip not to chuckle at the soft frown on her face and nodded, "Anything in particular, darling?"

Ella looked back at the table, giving it a quick sweep and she found her attention mostly on the hand jewelry. "Maybe a ring?" She tried saying but it sounded more like a question, "They're all stunning." She added then in a quiet whine like it hurt her that everything was too pretty and she couldn't choose.

The singer hummed and stepped closer to the table under the gaze of the old man who had a small smile on his face seeing them two together. Alex took less than a minute, his decision being made when he found one which had a pretty green stone in the middle of the gold band of the ring. "This one." He grabbed it and it seemed to be just the right size, so grabbing her right hand in his, he slipped it on her ring finger. The sight of her Pure Desire tattoo sparking too many thoughts in his mind that he had to push aside.

Ella was breathless seeing him putting the ring on her but she fully felt like she had forgotten how to breathe when he added, "Matches your eyes." with the sweetest smile.

Her eyes didn't move from his for a few seconds that felt eternal to them, dropping to the ring and then back up at Alex to ask, "Does it?"

"Yes," He nodded, completely satisfied with his choice, "Stunning." He complimented, but he wasn't speaking about the piece of jewelry because his gaze was firm on Ella's gorgeous eyes.

She scrunched her nose at him, he was just too cute for her to handle so with rosy cheeks she turned back to the man in charge of the kiosk and deemed that being the last purchase of the day. The lovely man was smiling brightly at them and agreed with Alex when he noticed Ella's hazel green eyes.

Alex had puffed his chest out in pride of it, saying a smug "I know" to the old man and making Ella laugh as she paid. He practically had the color of her eyes permanently imprinted in his mind, he didn't ever have to think hard to remember them and how it felt to get lost in her eyes.

She left the old man with a long hug and Alex gave him a hand shake before the two moved onto the next stop which would be St. Paul's Cathedral. And just like Alex had promised her they would do, they took a bus to the church.

It had been hilarious capturing her smile with her camera as one of the red busses approached them and he had been hearing and seeing her little giddy noises and how she just couldn't really stay still in her seat.

The cathedral had been breathtaking and, again, Ella had snapped away multiple pictures as they walked around. She had been fairly wary of the lots of people worshiping their religious figures then so she tried not to take too many so the shutter going off wouldn't interrupt them.

When they left to go to the next place, they ticked off another thing off Ella's list as they rode the underground to go over to the Tower of London. The only thing she had been overly excited about was the way the stations looked because then being in the tube felt just like taking the train in New York, only cleaner.

Alex had managed to get a picture of her standing there waiting for their train to arrive, and he hoped the frame had captured the big grin that tugged at the corner of her lips making her eyes crinkle at the edges before she had hid her face behind her hands.

The Tower of London had been quite informative, at first she had walked in completely amazed by the structure and architecture of the castle so she was taking picture after picture of the inside and the greenery of the courtyards but then they started walking into the exhibitions and she had forgotten about her camera to read the signs around the rooms.

Going to see the crown jewels had been hilarious to Alex since Ella had been trying so hard to keep her cool as there were beefeaters guarding the exhibition. The White Tower had been rather concerning because of the torture chamber that was located there, and the Green Tower had been as well as it was where the execution memorial was held. And the last bit of the place they had visited was the Bloody Tower which had left Ella gasping as they found it was named that because of the murders of two princes which had been suspected to be done by their own uncle.

They talked about everything they had seen as they slowly walked out of the place and under the Tower Bridge, it was getting late and the sun seemed to be getting ready to set already. She yawned and hid it under her right hand, Alex getting a hold of her left hand and intertwining their fingers so she would walk with him at his pace.

"Where are we going?" Ella asked intrigued, they weren't going very fast but it was like he had the intent of getting somewhere on time.

"Just a bit further down here." He pointed forward with a tilt of his chin and continued walking.

Ella had no other option than to walk along him, and it had been the best day strolling around the city with him so there wasn't a bit in her that wanted to complain about a single thing.

They walked past a Starbucks and to her right she saw a little stand that sold boat tickets. They were walking right by the Thames after all so it wasn't rare to see all the people that were walking ahead of her and stopping by the railing along the short brick column.

As they walked closer to the people gathering for the view of the bridge, Ella finally saw the sculpture that stood there in a fountain and she let out a little gasp of awe.

"That's so cute! I'm gonna take a picture." She squeezed Alex's hand before slowly letting go of it and quickly turning on her camera and getting as close as she could between the people gathered there to get a good frame of the sculpture with the view of the bridge and the city behind it.

She snapped a pair and went back to Alex, excusing herself as she made her way through the people in the way.

"Are we not staying here?" She inquired when Alex grabbed her hand again and pulled her along with him, seeing as everyone seemed to stand next to the fountain to watch the sun go down.

Alex shook his head, "There's a few benches over there and way less people, so we can sit and watch the sunset quietly and alone."

Ella intertwined their fingers properly again with a grin and let him guide her to where he was referring to. It wasn't longer than another minute when they saw a lonely bench by a tree which had the perfect view of the bridge without it being spoiled by the people standing at the railing.

They sat down and sighed in relief, their backs and their feet aching after the long day, yet their smiles were stuck on their faces as they moved closer to each other and Ella let her head fall on his shoulder.

Alex left a kiss on her head before resting his head over hers, making Ella snuggle closer to him and inhaling deep in comfort.

"Thank you." Her voice was low and soft, with the echoes of the people chattering around them, he almost missed it.

His head turned slightly to be able to glance down at her, "What for?"

Ella kept her gaze on the city, being slowly bathed in orange and pink hues as the sun fell to bed down the horizon. "For today. It was lovely and you're the best tourist guide ever."

The last bit held such playfulness that earned her a snort from him, "I'm glad you liked it, darling." And Alex truly meant it, closing his eyes and relishing in the feeling of having her close to him.

"Absolutely loved it, sweetness." Her hand went to grab his—they had let go when they got comfortable on the bench—, intertwining their fingers and rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. "You know if the rockstar gig doesn't work you can just take people around the city and make them pay you for your charm." He felt her move her head a bit and when he looked down at her, she had her eyes set on his face with a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Alex lifted his head to match her smirk and played along, "Charming am I?"

"You know you are." Ella rolled her eyes as if it annoyed her telling him the truth so she added, "Don't let it get to your head, it's already too big as it is."

The singer scoffed, straightening his back so he put a small distance between them, "Oh wow, thanks."

The American girl let out a small "Nooo," and hooked her arm through his to bring him back into her side. "I'm joking, I'm joking."

He hummed doubtfully but let her pull him closer. "You better be because you've got a bigger head than mine." He quipped back at her, making her gasp.

It was her turn to put some distance between them as she pulled herself off him with an offended frown, "Excuse me?"

But Alex looked at her completely disregarding her expression and teased her by saying, "Mhm, you're excused."

Ella gasped, "You're such a little shit." and poked him in the ribs, cackling when he jumped and let out a little yelp. She was so glad she got him back beside her after a whole month, "I missed you so much."

"Missed you more darling." He reciprocated, snaking his arm around her waist to pull her into his side. "We should go watch a film soon, I know it won't be the same but we haven't gone to the cinema together in far too long and I miss going to Los Feliz with you."

A bright grin broke out on her face, thinking back to the times they had been able to go to Los Feliz together. "Isn't it amazing? I'm so glad I got you obsessed with it too."

And without really thinking it through, Alex admitted something that had been making rounds in his mind for a while, "Making me consider moving to LA, you."

She rolled her eyes playfully, shaking her head looking at the view in front of them, "Yeah sure."

But, staring right at her and pinching her side so she'd look at him, he promised, "Swear down."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she chatted back, "Don't believe you, Turner."

His right hand came to clutch his chest like her lack of trust hurt his heart, "Rude. I thought you loved me and I was your best friend."

Her gaze stayed on his, unwavering and trying to gather her thoughts so she could answer but the only thing she came down to say was, "Touché."

She scooted back close to his side and rested her head on his shoulder, his fingers that were holding her waist had started rubbing circles on it over the fabric of her shirt. Ella was glad she had been able to control the shivers his touch gave her and took a deep breath as they watched the gorgeous sights in front of them.

The sky was turning lilac then and the dying sun was painting the cloud a beautiful pink and orange. It was breathtaking seeing the city coated by the colors, it was truly out of a painting and it somehow got even more beautiful as the minutes went by, the shades growing more intense and the urge of capturing it bubbled in her chest.

"This is stunning." Her words were breathless as she turned on her camera, trying to remember if it was four or five frames she had left in her current roll but only shooting three just to not mess up any of her previous pictures on the roll.

Alex watched her focusing as she watched the landscape through the viewfinder, her eye squinted and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Can I get a picture of you?" He asked as soon as she brought her device back down to rest on her chest.

Ella hesitated for a second but before she could agree, she remembered the lack of proper lighting, "The flash is gonna ruin the sunset and if I don't use it, it will look too dark."

He thought of it only for a second, knowing she knew more about it than him but came to a different solution, "With my phone then."

She hummed like she was considering it, but her decision was taking longer than what he wanted so he bumped his head against hers softly and said, "C'mon darling."

When Ella turned to see him, Alex was grinning at her like he knew she was going to fold and she rolled her eyes when she finally agreed, "Okay just a quick one." She turned off her camera before she could move, purposely taking longer to do that.

Switching seats so he could take the picture properly, and taking her camera from her, Alex pulled up his camera on his phone and turned the flash on. "How does Bre get you to let her take your picture?" He wondered out loud as Ella shied behind her hands and took a few deep breaths.

Letting her hands drop, she shrugged and smiled, "Because it's Bre."

But before he could snap the moment away, Alex rolled his eyes and said, "Right, I forgot you're secretly in love with her still."

"Oh shut up." She hit his knee with hers, truly meaning it when she replied, "She's my best friend."

With that he smugly raised his phone back up, and with a, "And so am I, so smile for me darling." he waited for her to give him a big smile to take the picture.

He lowered his phone as he went to his camera roll to see how it had turned out, "That look alright?" Ella asked shyly, trying to see the product as he was grinning like an idiot at his screen.

Alex nodded intently, "Yes, I love it." And he wasn't lying, her eyes had closed from how big she had smiled, her cheeks rosy almost as much as the pink in the sky and once again he was brought back to that day they spent together in the west coast when he couldn't even begin to appreciate the sunset behind her as he drove because she looked so beautiful.

She demanded softly with a tug of his wrist, "Show it to me." And when she saw herself on his screen, she felt her cheeks heat up, "I look so..."

"Pretty?" He quickly finished the sentence for her.

But she shook her head, putting that to the side for the moment for her own good, "Blushy. My cheeks match the damn sky."

"You always are darling." He confirmed to her, "Don't think there's been many instances since 2011 when I've seen you and you've not been blushing."

She was properly embarrassed then, thinking about how dumb it was for her to always be blushing and for him to have noticed every time for the past two years, "Okay don't call me out now."

"Anyway, you look beautiful." The singer came back to see the picture once more and smiled to himself, "I'll send it to you now."

Her phone pinged with a notification of his text then and unlocking it to see it now on her screen, she sat comfortably again, shoulder to shoulder with him. "Thanks sweets."

His arm came around her shoulder and brought her into him, "You're welcome darling."

The minutes kept passing by and with it the sun lowered even more until it was completely gone and the sky went from orange, pink and lilac to a deep blue pierced by many stars which glistened as much as the lights of the city did.

Exhaustion was catching up to them, her eyes were closing and she was struggling to keep them open. Alex noticed when her hand started falling slowly from the top of her thigh where it was resting to the space between their legs.

So, softly getting a hold of her hand, he played with her fingers and asked in a low voice, "Should we head back to the hotel darling?"

Ella groaned but nodded, really wanting to get in bed and rest now. "Please?"

He pouted at her tired expression and slowly stood up after giving her a little squeeze, "'Course. Let's go."

Alex extended his hand out to her and she accepted it, letting him pull her up. "Thank you." She stumbled a bit, bumping into his chest where she rested her hand so she could stabilize herself.

He took advantage of how close he had her so he left a kiss on her temple and mumbled, "You're welcome." against it.

Turning around to leave, Alex grabbed her hand but she only moved an inch before she called out a "Wait." that he had barely managed to hear with the rumble of the city in the background.

"What's wrong?" He turned back to her with a small frown, he had her camera hanging from his neck and she had her bag hanging off her shoulder so he wasn't sure if there was anything she'd forgotten.

The bench was empty which confirmed she wasn't forgetting a thing but her frown softened up when she continued with a "Nothing just– c'mere," And she dropped his hand to open her arms up for him to walk into.

He of course obliged, taking a big stride her way and clutching her tight, her arms wrapped over his shoulders and his around her waist. She giggled when she felt her camera in the way of their chests pressing together, making for a rather awkward position but it was a hug from him so it was everything but. They swayed a bit in the embrace and he heard her say, "Love you Al, thank you for today." in his ear.

Filling up with warmth, the biggest smile showed on his face and he didn't waste another second to reciprocate, "Love you too Ellie." Kissing her cheek first, he pulled back to look into her eyes and make her understand that, "There's no need to thank me, darling. It was my absolute pleasure."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Personally, my heart burst writing this, and rereading it made me tear up. Wheels and Curly being here along with the rest of t1975, Alex and Ella reuniting, and then being absolutely adorable makes me wanna cry. Once again, a million thank yous to @imagine-that-100​ for being wonderful and allowing me to have them here and expanding the multiverse a bit more, and I hope y'all enjoyed catching a glimpse of them in an alternate timeline because I certainly did fucking adore writing them in. If you haven’t read @nriacc​ yet, what are you waiting for? Anyway, I'm wondering now if you have any predictions about what's gonna happen in this trip, I would love to see what those predictions are and if there's anything you want to happen hehehe. Thank you so much for reading! See you in two weeks with the next!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​ @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette

[notsowrites]

where every wish comes true

Summary: Alex wants everything to be perfect for his first Christmas with Michael.

A/N: my humble contribution to this year's @rnm-secret-santa for @dr-lemurr

[read it on AO3]

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Because the holidays have never been a big deal to Alex, he has a basic amount of Christmas decorations - a wreath for the front door, a fake tree that he usually puts up in front of the window in the study, and enough ornaments and decorations to make the tree look festive. It's basically the extent to which he feels is enough “holiday cheer.” He and Maria exchange gifts - a tradition between the two of them since they were kids. Even when he was overseas during the holidays, he'd always make sure she got sent something he knew she wanted but couldn't justify the expense for herself. Since he understood that money was difficult for her, particularly given Mimi’s medical bills. 

But in all their years together, their on and off again relationship with no discernible beginning or end points, Alex realizes that he and Michael have never shared the holiday together in any way.

And of course, everything is different now. Never before have they been in a committed relationship like this, one that others around them know about, and one where Alex feels like he can be public about his feelings for Michael. The pendant of alien glass around his neck, laying against his chest, feels like a promise that Alex intends to make good on one day.

The first problem he encounters this year, however, is where to put the tree. Typically he just rearranges the study, moving the couch from under the windows to against the wall, and putting the tree there instead. It's only temporary, and it makes the house feel a tiny bit more festive.

But when he drags the box out of the storage, and stands in the open doorway to the study, Alex realizes he doesn't want to keep the tree out of the way this year.

Wanting is something he's teaching himself is okay - he's allowed to be selfish. He's allowed to do things and desire things simply because they make him happy. And right now, he wants to put the Christmas tree in the living room, because he wants to be able to cuddle with Michael on the couch, with the fireplace going, and really see if all that fuss about coziness is actually true. There's simply never been the opportunity before where it was possible, and now that it is, Alex finds he wants to experience it for himself.

“There's nowhere to put it,” he whines to Maria on the phone, standing in the middle of the living room, surveying the furniture.

“And the study is not an option?”

Alex sighs, glancing down the hallway, the reasons floating through his mind. “No.”

“So we just need to figure out a different spot for you,” Maria replies, sounding much more confident than Alex feels. There's another voice in the background, and Alex can just make out Maria explaining his dilemma, realizing after a moment that she’s speaking to Rosa.

“Is that Rosa? I can call back-”

“She says you're overthinking it,” Maria pushes on, ignoring him. “And I agree with her.”

“Great,” he grumbles, falling down on the sofa and staring up at the ceiling. 

Overthinking is something that he knows he does on occasion, especially in regards to Michael. Because Alex can’t think of any time in his professional life - a decade in the Air Force, including officer school and two completed tours - where he’s had the same doubts and worries. Things just always seemed easier when he can fall back on facts and logic.

And Michael, well. Alex knows his feelings for Michael are sometimes anything but logical.

“What about in that space next to the dining table?” Maria asks, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

Alex glances over where there’s a potted plant in the corner near the doors that lead out to the patio; the decor in the wall alcoves; and the guitar he has leaning in the corner near his bedroom doorway. It might work, he thinks, but it’d be a tight fit. And he doesn’t really want the tree to be sticking out awkwardly, especially if he’s putting it somewhere he might trip over coming out of the bedroom.

“No, I don’t think so.”

There’s a bit of shuffling on the other end of the line, and then Alex hears Rosa loud and clear, realizing he’s been put on speaker.

“What about in that corner? Next to the sofa?”

Alex twists to look to his right where the end table is currently placed. It’s a large enough space in the corner if he moves the table and the plant - but isn’t the point of this to be able to see the tree while sitting on the couch? It really would just look like it was shoved into the only available spot between the couch and his keyboard bench.

“The couch would be in the way.”

Rosa sighs, rather loudly, and says something that Alex can’t quite make out, probably meant only for Maria anyway. While he listens to them chatter amongst themselves, he wonders about next to the fireplace, but figures there probably isn’t enough room and the tree would cover part of the TV - and it’d definitely make it harder to get to the record player. 

“Are you up for moving some furniture?” Rosa asks after a moment. “Because I think I have an idea, if I remember your house correctly, and Maria says I am.”

Not letting himself get too hopeful, Alex nods his head as if she can see him. “Yeah, if it’ll make this whole thing work.”

“Move your keyboard bench.”

For a moment, Alex wants to argue and ask where he’s going to put his music set-up in the meantime, but the answer is obvious. If he moves the keyboard, and his audio equipment into the study, they can go against the wall where he typically puts the couch when the tree is in there. It feels like such a simple solution, he’s annoyed at himself for not thinking of it. 

“You two are geniuses,” he replies quickly, pushing himself up off the sofa. “Love you both, but I gotta go.”

He hears the two of them giggling on the other end, and ends the call. 

None of the furniture he needs to move is actually heavy, thankfully. And he hopes he can get it done before Michael gets home - because he’d like to be able to at least have the tree up. First, he gets the bench - it’s the smallest and lightest part. Then all of the smaller items - the guitars, the sound mixing equipment, the speakers, and finally - the keyboard itself. The table, however, presents its own dilemma. It’s a little too big, and a little too awkward in size for him to lift all on his own.

Alex falls back onto the sofa, frustrated with himself and his own limitations, when he hears the front door open, close, followed then by the familiar sound of Michael’s boots on the floor.

“Rearranging?” Michael asks, and Alex turns slowly to look over at him, noticing the way he’s taking in the emptiness of the space where his instrument set up used to be.

“Trying.”

Michael nods his head, glancing around the living room and dining room, as if looking for something. “Where’d the rest of it go?”

“In the study.” 

He watches as Michael disappears out of view, his footsteps receding down the hallway, and then back towards him, as if Michael had needed to see for himself where the missing equipment had gone. 

“So we just need to move the table?” Michael finally asks, sitting down on the coffee table and sliding over until he’s across from Alex, reaching out and taking his hands in his, letting their fingers slide together. “Any particular reason for this change? You seemed pretty settled in how you had the house set up.”

Alex lifts his left hand, along with Michael’s, and motions vaguely towards the box with the Christmas tree that’s on the floor next to the dining table.

“I thought - I think it'd be nice to be able to enjoy the tree out here.” Alex doesn't know why his own reasoning feels dumb - it's his own home. A house he bought with his own money and has worked to furnish how he wants. “Since it's our first Christmas together.”

Slowly, a smile spreads across Michael's face, as he gently tugs Alex's hands towards him. Alex goes, letting himself be pulled forward until Michael is pressing their lips together - once, twice, three times. The smile never leaving his face, either.

Alex pulls one hand out of Michael's grasp, reaching out to slide it up along Michael's chest to cup his face, letting the tips of his fingers slide into the curls at the back of Michael's neck. His hair is longer - obviously in need of a trim, but Alex likes something about it like this as well. 

Especially when it means watching that one stubborn curl fall over Michael's eyes as he works. Or as he cooks. Or even as he's just talking while they're sitting on the patio chairs outside, Michael telling him about the dreams he had as a child, searching for home in the night sky.

“So where’d you put it last year?”

“Uh, the study,” he replies with a sigh, still frustrated with himself. “Christmas was never a big affair growing up. And here I just - I never saw much reason to go all out on decorating.”

Michael’s eyes go soft, and Alex feels a little less like an idiot for admitting something like this. 

“Max and Isobel always tried - especially when we were kids,” Michael says, his attention drifting back down to their hands, letting his fingers drift lightly across the skin. “Think they wanted to make sure I felt included. Never really got a real Christmas otherwise.”

Alex’s heart breaks for the childhood Michael should have been able to have growing up. That he’d been left to fend for himself so often in ways that no child should have had to do.

“That’s why I wanted to tree in here,” Alex tries again, gently tugging at Michael’s hands, pulling him towards where he’s sitting on the couch. He smiles at the easy way Michael moves, first pinning him against the back as their lips meet, sliding onto his lap and dropping his hands. Michael’s hands slide up to cup his face, kissing him over and over again as Alex drops his hands to his thighs. He doesn’t stop his hips from bucking up against Michael.

“Good thing for you,” Michael says after a moment, pulling away and Alex feels his hands drop down flat against his chest as he looks up to see a familiar smirk, “that your boyfriend is an alien who can move things with his mind.”

It’s always fascinating for Alex to watch Michael use his abilities, watching as the table slowly glides across the floor of the living room, freeing up the empty space in front of the bay window. 

Between the two of them, they carefully get the table moved into the study, and set everything to rights with his equipment, which seems to calm the remaining nerves Alex had about everything. 

Getting the tree together is easiest, the two of them laughing as they try and fluff the branches out enough to make it look somewhat like a tree before decorating it in the small collection of ornaments Alex has purchased and collected through the last several years. He sits on the coffee table to sort through the containers, Michael choosing to be the one to hang them up, taking any leads Alex chooses to give him about placement. 

And it’s then, as he watches Michael place the silver star at the top, that it hits Alex just how right all of this actually feels. How perhaps this is what has been missing for the holiday to feel like it’s more than just a date on the calendar. That perhaps next year they’ll be doing this not as boyfriends, but as husbands instead.

Husbands, Alex repeats to himself. Because he’d asked Michael to marry him, and Michael had said yes.

He watches as Michael effortlessly gets a fire going in the fireplace, fascinated by the way the flames burst from his hand, the logs lighting with minimal effort. 

“Is that why you run hot?” Alex can’t help but ask, raising an eyebrow at Michael and nodding at the fireplace. He knows enough about the alien’s biology to know the elevated temperature the alien’s have is related to their species, but it feels like a good moment to joke. He knows he’s tried in the past to make a similar remark in the past, but the timing hadn’t been right, and it hadn’t landed how he’d intended.

This time, however, he watches as a smile spreads across Michael’s face, his eyes lighting up in amusement. 

They settle onto the sofa, fingers laced together, Alex pushed into Michael’s side as they both take in the quiet moment around them. 

“What did you used to do for Christmas?” Michael asks, his voice quiet next to Alex. “Since coming back here?”

“Spend time with Maria and Mimi,” he replies, turning to look at Michael, noticing the way he’s focused on him, eyes bright and golden in the warm haze of the firelight. “Maria called me a grinch the first year I got back because I didn’t decorate.”

“But not this year.”

Alex shakes his head, leaning up to press a kiss to Michael’s lips. 

“No, not this year.”

[theenemyod]

TW self harm, implied depression, mentions or murder, blood

Alex wakes up again. He’s shaking and his whole body is covered in sweat. Another nightmare. Third one tonight. 

He doesn’t open his eyes though. Not for several minutes. Maybe he doesn’t have the energy, maybe he just doesn’t want to. (Because I’m just lazy lazy lazy I can’t do anything). It’s so much more comfortable in the safety of his blankets. For a few minutes.

Images of his nightmares start to attack his mind. Flashes of bright light, his whole body feeling as though it’s on fire, the face in front of him different every time he tries to remember it… Aaron… no Call… Constantine… Call… Tamara.. Kimiya… Aaron… Aaron. It was Aaron? Aaron was the one in front of him? The flash of light. Something was burning his hand. A glove? A burning glove.

Then it hits him. All at once. What he did. The few minutes of tired confusion over, he wants that back now.

(Murderer murderer murderer murderer)

He feels sick. He can’t keep his eyes closed any longer before more images rush into his head, into his mind, making him feel worse and worse. (What is wrong with me?). 

Shakily, he turns his bedroom lamp on. He wants to drown out his thoughts somehow. They’re so painfully loud. But he broke his headphones a few weeks ago (I can’t even stop myself from killing headphones. I’m a monster) and he’ll almost definitely be in trouble if he plays his speakers that loudly at – what’s the time – half past three in the morning. 

His eyes land on the silver dagger he keeps on his nightstand next to his lamp. In his mind it’s a beautiful thing, the slightly curved silver blade with a careful design of spirals and swirls, an intricate and eerie beauty that comes with an object so deadly but so delicately made. (Only evil or crazy people find knives this beautiful). He’d made it himself, about a week before he’d left the Magisterium (murdered Aarroon and failed to kill Call), with help from one of the other apprentices in his group. 

Part of him wonders what it would feel like to have the blade cut open his skin.

(Do it. It’d feel nice.)

Alex tries to push those thoughts away. The scars on his wrists are proof enough of his inability to do that most of the time.

(I have no self control, do I?)

He forces himself to ignore the thoughts for now, and walks over to the window. It’s a full moon tonight. The sky is lighter than it is most nights because of that. 

It’s so pretty. For a few minutes he’s able to ignore his thoughts. The moon and the stars. It’s comforting. The feeling of stillness, an empty night where no one else will see him like this, he can let his mind go however he wants and no one will get mad at him for zoning out or not paying attention. There's no one awake to notice. 

(No one would notice if I cut myself right now)

Alex can’t push his thoughts away. His eyes dart back to the dagger, the blade reflecting the silver moonlight.

(what’s it with my obsession with silver?)

Alex jumps down from the windowsill, and without thinking grabs the dagger. The hilt feels so right in his hand, he’d designed it to fit him. His heart is beating quickly in his chest. (Coward). It would hurt if he does this.

That's the entire point.

Slowly he presses the blade against his wrist, the hold metal making the hairs on his skin stand up. Tears start to form in his eyes as he presses the blade down, not yet breaking the skin.

(I deserve this. I killed people and I caused people pain and now I deserve to feel the same amount out pain all of them did and more)

In a single swift movement he pulls the knife across his wrist, opening up the flesh and making blood start to trickle down his arm.

(Again)

Tears fall from his eyes. He deserves it. 

Another cut. Deeper this time. It hurts more. More blood. More blood running down his arm, staining his sleeve a deep red. 

Anastasia will be angry if she knows he stained his clothes.

He’s scared of Anastasia being angry (like a coward).

Finally, he puts down the dagger. The silver blade is covered in blood but it’ll wash off. He should probably try to wash out the blood staining his sleeve though. It stands out on the blue fabric. 

Maybe that’s a problem for the morning though. He can’t bring himself to leave the room and go clean it. (because I’m just a lazy idiot).

After a moment of consideration he wraps a spare headband around the cuts to hopefully stop the blood staining anything else until tomorrow at least.

He curls back into bed, staring at the stars outside his window and the large moon. 

No one will know what he did. No one.

With that half-comforting half-depressing thought, he lets himself fall back asleep.

[porcelainmortal]

Prompt Idea….

Cosmic Dancer

Pez/anyone (1 or multiple people)

-Freyja (I’m on my other blog and am too lazy to log out and log back in 😂)

Thank you for the prompt, @freyjaexplores!! You know I'd do anything for you but girl, this one made me think. I hope you love it!!

🔮 Cosmic Dancer - Pez/Henry/Alex (Platonic)

Pez dances like he was born to do it. In fact, as he tells it, he danced his way right out of the womb. Henry had cringed when he first made that joke, but that only meant that Pez would repeat it with a cheeky grin in Henry’s direction whenever anyone, anywhere, commented on his dancing. 

Henry spent years in Uni being dragged onto dance floors by Pez, only to get self-conscious in 5.8 seconds flat and retreat to the nearest booth or chair to tap his foot and drink in peace. It’s not that Henry hates dancing, it’s just that he’s not comfortable doing so in public. Ballroom dancing at an event, for which he’s been extensively trained, is one thing. Gyrating awkwardly in a club to music he’s never heard before is another thing entirely. 

But now, he’s watching Pez dance with his boyfriend, who also dances like he was born to do it and it’s not making Henry jealous, exactly, but there is a yearning within him that he can’t deny. He and Alex dance together in private, and once the fascination with their relationship died down a bit, they even began slow dancing at official events whenever the mood struck. But Henry still shies away from dancing in these types of environments, where he feels woefully out of place.

Usually, he’s happy to watch his friends hit the floor and have a good time – even if Alex has professed, on several occasions, how much more fun it would be to dance with Henry – but tonight, Henry’s feeling restless and unsettled. Maybe he’s had too much to drink, or maybe it’s because he and Alex recently spent two weeks apart and he’s feeling needy, but Henry is currently at war with himself about whether to get up and go join his two favourite people on the dance floor. 

At that moment, Alex glances over and catches his eye. The smile Alex sends him has Henry’s heart skipping a beat, as if they’ve only been together a few weeks rather than a few years. He supposes it will be the same after a few decades, too. Alex must see something on Henry’s face because he starts making his way over.

“Hey, baby.” Alex plants himself sideways in Henry’s lap, one hand coming up to thread through his hair, and his lips finding Henry’s for a chaste but sweet kiss. “You doing okay over here?”

“I’m fine,” Henry replies, though it’s not entirely true. “Are you having fun?”

“It’d be more fun with you,” Alex grins. So predictable. “Are you sure you don’t want to join us?”

Henry’s hesitation must give him away because the next thing he knows, Alex is standing and pulling him up, dragging him towards the dance floor. Pez looks delighted to see Henry coming over and it’s infectious, so Henry smiles back, oddly excited. But for all his eagerness moments ago, Henry freezes when he gets into the throng of bodies, his old insecurities coming back in full force. 

“Come on, baby, just follow me,” Alex murmurs in Henry’s ear. He gets his hands on Henry’s hips and starts to guide him, but Henry feels stiff and awkward. Alex slots a leg between Henry’s, bringing their lower halves together, then leans up and kisses him. It’s deep and erotic and a little bit filthy, and Alex just keeps moving, dancing against Henry until his body responds in kind.

When Henry is half-hard and out of breath, Alex pulls back and smiles. 

“See, I knew you could do it.”

And Henry realises that he’s dancing. He’s moving to the beat, pressed against Alex, and his previous insecurities are nowhere to be found. Alex turns around, leaning back against Henry as he dances and pulling Henry’s hands to settle on his hips. Pez slots himself behind Henry – at a slightly more respectable distance – and makes the three of them into a dancing sandwich in the middle of the packed dance floor. 

Henry may not have been born to dance, but here in the dark, with his best mate and his boyfriend, he can pretend. If only for a few hours.

Ficlet Friday Prompts

[fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction]

Afton-Herrera Moments 4

Gregory blinked his eyes open slowly, waiting for the strange and muddled dream to fade enough to let him reorient. Fingers wiggled, then clenched a few times, hands to fists over and over, no pops. Good. Feet wiggled, up and down, back and forth, moved the legs as if stepping in place, no aches. Rotated the shoulders, forward then back, no pops. Good, good.

He lay in bed for a minute longer to listen to the sounds of his surroundings, the electric hum of Freddy’s charge pod on its lowest setting, the faint sound of Alex’s music playing in his room drifting through their shared wall, the even fainter sound of footsteps downstairs. Who was downstairs? Gregory sat up in bed, hand going to his wrist where he expected his Fazwatch to be. Bare skin made him tense before he remembered he left it on his bedside table. He grabbed it and strapped it on before stepping out of bed, rubbing his eyes drowsily.

Padding out of his room, Gregory listened again for changes to the noises of the house. Everything was the same so he hadn’t been noticed yet. Satisfied with the silence, Gregory headed downstairs for the kitchen. For one, he was thirsty, and for another, he could use it as cover for checking who was around down here before grabbing the phone. Once again, he lamented the lack of security cameras for the house; it’d be nice to flick through them on his watch for a bit of peace of mind now and then, but apparently they didn’t have money for a system like that just yet.

The sooner Vanessa got Radical Eats open and making money, the better.

Den was empty, but the footsteps had given way to the refrigerator door opening, then closing, then a stool being pulled out of place. Gregory stepped softly to the kitchen entrance and peeked in to see who was in there.

Sydney sat at the island counter in the kitchen, staring blankly into a glass of iced water. Huh, seemed like that was all he was doing. Weird. Gregory reached up to pat the wall and make some noise to alert him, only to freeze in place when Sydney’s eyes snapped to him at the movement of his arm. The man gave him a puzzled look and Gregory laughed nervously.

“I forgot you have pretty good vision,” he admitted. It caused him some trouble trying to evade the guy back in the Pizzaplex; knocking over paint cans and triggering arcade machines and kiddie rides were the best distractions that kept Sydney occupied while he escaped.

Sydney just tilted his head, still puzzled looking, and signed something at him. Gregory grimaced a bit. He never did get around to learning what all those signs meant. He kinda relied on Vanessa to translate and give him a basic idea of what was being said.

“Do you have paper? Be easier to read words that way,” he asked as he went further into the kitchen and pulled out his own stool to climb up and sit on. Sydney just opened a nearby kitchen drawer, fetching a notepad and pen from inside. He scribbled out a message and then spun the pad around for Gregory to read.

“What are you doing awake?”

“Weird dream, got thirsty,” Gregory replied with a shrug, “What about you? How come you’re awake?” Sydney tapped his temple with a tired smile. “Same thing?” Gregory guessed, taking note of the bags under the man’s eyes. With what his own nightmares put him through, Gregory couldn’t imagine what could be swirling around in Sydney’s head to make it hard for him to stay asleep. “Vanessa still asleep?” he asked and breathed a sigh of relief at the answering nod.

Sydney wrote on the pad again for him. “Do you want some hot chocolate?” he scribbled out. Gregory brightened a bit at the offer.

“Yeah!” he said excitedly, then covered his mouth sheepishly. Was that too loud? Sydney just gave him a crooked grin and shook his head, getting off the stool to start putting together the drink.

Once the man was at the stove, stirring a pot of milk as it slowly heated up, Gregory moved the stool over to be able to sit nearby. He set the pad and pen down on the counter then took his seat, swinging his legs idly as he watched the milk. After a moment, Sydney let the pot continue warming up while he scribbled on the pad again.

“What did you dream about?” he wrote.

“Eh, I don’t really remember. Was kinda fuzzy,” Gregory complained, “Just woke up feeling like I was crammed into a small space, couldn’t really move my arms or legs. Like being inside Freddy, but different. Didn’t feel safe.” Sydney made a face at his description, a grimace that Gregory couldn’t tell was towards the feeling he was talking about or the mention of Freddy. He folded his arms over his chest. “Well, okay, then what was your dream about?” he asked back.

Sydney’s mouth pursed tightly into a thin line as he shook his head, looking away at the wall. Gregory scowled; that wasn’t fair!

“Hey! I told you mine! C’mon!” he complained and pouted at Sydney just shrugging at him, eyebrows raised in false uncaring. Gregory huffed at the expression and glared at the notepad. “Vanessa said you used to talk with her more at the Pizzaplex,” he said after a bit, a petulant tone to his words, “So how come you don’t talk at all now?”

The man grimaced again as he stirred the milk, shaking his head.

“C’mon! I know you used to say a few words at least!” Gregory pressed, “You yelled a bunch of swear words at me when I dodged you back at the Pizzaplex that night.” Another grimace and Sydney shifted on his feet almost nervously. “I just wanna know why you quit talking. Is it like a medical thing that happened after you got the implant taken out? Cuz me and Vanessa had the same implants but nothing happened to us, so maybe the doctors messed up something.” Gregory’s eyes widened as he gasped in realization. “Oh! What if they did mess you up in surgery?! You can sue them for that, right? They didn’t make you sign a waiver and Vanessa says people who sign waivers can’t sue. You didn’t so you can make the hospital pay for messing up your surgery!” he said excitedly. And if Sydney sued and won, that’s more money for the household and Gregory could get that security camera system he wanted!

Sydney gave him an annoyed look before scribbling on the pad again. “Talking leads to trouble,” he wrote out and Gregory rolled his eyes.

“Everything does, not a good reason to just stop then,” he retorted, “Case in point, the old bitch at school who kept getting on my case about swearing.”

“My talking is dangerous,” Sydney wrote out, hand gripping the pen tightly enough that the words looked scratched into the paper, small tears forming.

“Is this about the stuff Alex said?” Gregory asked after managing to read the scrawl, “That your past self could talk a person into breaking down?” Sydney tightened his mouth again and nodded, pulling a small disc of chocolate from a jar on the kitchen counter and dropping it into the heated milk. It melted into the milk as the man stirred gently. Gregory watched for a bit before sitting more upright on his stool, thinking carefully.

“Well,” he said slowly, deliberately, “in one of my nightmares, I was forced to kill Vanny over and over. Happened almost every night for a week. Vincent said it was to make it easier for me to get used to killing someone.” Sydney gave him a horrified look and Gregory shrugged. “Didn’t break me there. It never got easier when the nightmare made me push the button and I never stopped feeling bad that Vanny got killed. I just didn’t know how to fight against the nightmare until I got reminded that it’s my brain and fuck anything trying to hijack it.” He grinned and pointed at himself. “So that means,” he told Sydney brightly, “you can definitely talk to me cuz I won’t break!”

Sydney just gave him a doubtful look, stirring the hot chocolate still. Gregory pouted at the reaction.

“No, really! Look at me! I had the strength to survive living in the Pizzaplex by myself for months, dodging all the security in there, you included, and busted the place up enough to free you and Vanessa and Freddy from the network there and that weirdass burned rabbit thing and the Afton lady in the underground place!” he declared, jerking a thumb towards himself, “Do I look like the kind of kid who’d start crying over whatever words you could say?”

Sydney’s expression shifted from doubt to wariness, the two of them now locked in a sort of staredown while he kept stirring the pot. Gregory refused to look away, intent on getting his point across. He wasn’t breakable, he wasn’t weak, he could look after himself when he needed to but knew he could count on Vanessa and Freddy to take care of him for the most part. He beat out Afton’s weirdness, he could take on Sydney’s thing about words.

There was still silence between them while Sydney pulled down a mug from the cupboard and poured the hot chocolate into it. He slid the mug across the counter to Gregory but he made no move to take it, eyes still fixed on the man unwaveringly. Sydney just gave him an exasperated look.

“Talk to me,” Gregory insisted, “I promise I’m not gonna break. Don’t underestimate me cuz I’m a kid.” Sydney eyed him for a moment before his expression shifted to one of faint confusion, like he wasn’t sure of what he was seeing. His nose twitched, like he was trying to sniff for something. Rude, Gregory took a shower before bed. His mouth opened a bit, as if to take a breath, then pinched closed, an uncertain look on his face. “C’mon,” Gregory told him encouragingly, leaning forward. Maybe if he treated the guy like a shy kitten? “Just one word. So you know it’ll be fine.”

There was a faintly fearful expression that flashed over Sydney’s face before he shut his eyes, drawing back from Gregory almost defensively. Did he push too hard too fast?

“Blue.”

The voice that spoke was a little rough from disuse and small, almost quiet. Gregory blinked, so focused on watching Sydney that he missed his mouth moving. “Huh?” he asked and Sydney shrugged listlessly.

“You.. kinda.. remind me.. of blue,” the man replied slowly, carefully, his eyes flicking to the kitchen door nervously.

“Hey, no one else is awake, so no one else is coming,” Gregory reassured him quickly, holding up his hands, “And if you want, I won’t tell anyone you spoke. Just keep talking to me, okay?”

“Why?” Sydney asked in frustration, “Silence.. safer.” His hands signed something in equal frustration, movements sharp and cutting even as his fingers shook.

So Vanessa could have her friend back? So Alex could stop moaning and moping about his brother?

“Because it’s your voice and fuck whoever made you think you were dangerous if you use it,” Gregory declared finally, folding his arms over his chest. “So what if you were some super scary guy in your past life? That’s not you now, is it?” Sydney shook his head. “Then fuck it! Talk when you want, like when you’re okay to do it,” Gregory went on with a firm nod, “And until you feel okay to talk to everybody again, you can talk to me. I’m not gonna break if you mess up and do whatever scary power thing you do with your voice.”

Sydney managed a small smile, still a bit uncertain but less afraid looking at least. Then the grin turned a bit more wry as he pointed beside Gregory. “Chocolate.. drink,” he said and Gregory blinked again.

Oh! That’s right!

“Ah, my hot chocolate!” he exclaimed, “I almost forgot, thanks!” No whipped cream, but that’s fine. The heat and the creamy chocolate milk was all he needed to shed the last of the weirdness of his fading dream and help him get sleepy again.

Sydney got his water and resumed drinking it in silence, leaning back against the counter while Gregory enjoyed the hot chocolate. Maybe he couldn’t convince the guy to start talking to Vanessa and Alex again just yet, but at least he got him talking a little with him. Baby steps.

What was up with that ‘blue’ bit though? So weird. Must be a past life thing.

[sunspray-peak]

Ch. 59: Easy

SATURDAY - WINTER 13

As much as Achilles loathed the snow, it had proven to have somehow gifted him a rather peaceful and productive series of days. Though perhaps it was less the snow, and more… Alex. Nothing else—no one else, really—he’d encountered in Stardew had quite managed to calm the rollercoaster of this past year as well as Alex had. 

Was he thinking about him? Likely not—the kiss he’d left behind had been, objectively, clearly more jest than anything else. Regardless, Achilles hadn’t allowed idle speculation to distract him from the duties at hand. Holed up in the temperate climate of his well-heated home, he had neglected to shovel his 2 acres of land, opting instead to sit at his desk with a cat in his lap and a pen in his hand. It wasn’t a novel he was writing, however—no, his brain still refused to respond in that regard—but letters. Letters to family, letters to old friends, letters to himself. 

But the blinding, glowing sun cutting through his windows early Saturday morning had managed to melt with its golden cheer even his hatred for the cold. And so, shortly after 6am, Achilles threw on a robe and made himself a cup of tea before tottering his stiff joints to the front door. A breath of fresh air couldn’t hurt. Perhaps he’d do some bird watching on the porch or… something. 

But it seemed that someone else had had similar ideas. 

“What the fuck—god dammit—” This was really getting out of hand—really ought to get a lid for your mugs at this rate, or a thermos… Achilles wiped his sodden sleeve across his porch swing’s wooden plank of an armrest. It did not help, and now his hand was scraped as well as scalded. “Really, Alex we ought to put a bell on you, with this little habit of yours, just loitering around on my porch—you can knock, you know.” 

“Oh—geez, I’m sorry, not my fault you’re so jumpy, I’m sorry—I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake—” 

“I’m always awake. It’s a real problem.” Achilles clicked his tongue and nodded for Alex to take a seat on the swing before noticing the six inches of snow piled on the cushion. “Come inside. I suppose I’ll have to make myself another cup now, would you like one?” 

“Oh. No, I can’t stay long. First day on the new job, wanna get there early… I just wanted to… stop by. Say hi.”

“Oh yes! Mr. Manager.” Achilles glanced to the east where the bus stop lay beyond the borders of Strawberry Farms. Even shielding his eyes, he still had to squint to make out Alex’s halting footsteps breaking up the otherwise untouched snow. “Damn. You trudged through all that just to say hi?” 

“Well, in my defense, I expected you to’ve shoveled the path.” 

“Yikes. Me? Big mistake—”

“—yeah, I see that now—”

“—I assumed it’d be, I don’t know, a government responsibility. How long does it take snow to melt?” 

“Why would the government be shoveling the snow on your farm, Ash?” 

“I don’t know, listen, I hail from desert country—”

“Ohhhh, I see, did the government shovel sand out of your driveway in Monstera? Because you might just be getting that mixed up with being rich.” 

“Yeah, yeah, all right…” Achilles chucked a halfheartedly constructed snowball that Alex easily dodged. “Now what do you want? Everything okay? What brings you lurking like a gremlin on my porch this early in the morning?”

“No, everything’s fine, I was just… hoping to catch you.” 

“Well. You caught me.” Achilles glanced down at his still-wet sleeve. It was too cold for this, and he likely needed a bandage. 

Alex bit his lip before reaching into his coat—Yoba, really, it was quite unfair how one could make such a simple, innocent little hand motion look so seductive. He withdrew a pale green envelope and offered it forward. “I, um. I wrote you a letter—” 

“Did you steal that from Lewis? I swear he has the same stationary—” 

“—I just figured I’d hand deliver it since, you know, you never open your dang mail, you punk.” 

“A thing like that! You know, that’s probably the most considerate thing a person has ever done for me this whole year.” With a squirrelly little smile, Achilles slipped his pointer finger smoothly under the envelop flap before catching sight of Alex staring rather alarmingly wide-eyed, as if petrified, at the letter between his hands. “Or… shall I open it later?” 

“Oh—um—no, that’s all right, you can go ahead. Actually, no—yes. Later. Actually, you know what, I’ll just read it to you.” 

Bemused but chuckling lightly, Achilles offered the envelope back. But Alex only shook his head. 

“Man, I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m sorry. I’ll just tell you what it says.” 

“So… no one’s opening the letter…?” 

Alex shook his head again, ran a hand through his hair—a few strands broke loose from whatever gel or product he must’ve used to style it this morning. Being manager demanded a fresh new look, it seemed, but Achilles bit back his smile—didn’t seem appropriate, given that Alex seemed close to hyperventilating on his front porch.

Instead, Achilles pocketed the letter, which seemed to be the main source of Alex’s unusually pale visage, and asked, “Are you… okay…? You sure you don’t… want some… tea?”

And just like that, it was as if a light switch had been flicked. Alex smiled and, cocking his head slightly, chirped, “Would you like to get dinner tonight? 

“What?” Achilles took half a second to register the dissonance regarding the degree of joy that had accompanied this rather banal question. He’d been expecting something much more dramatic—Lewis’ last will and testament, perhaps… “Dinner? …Sure. Is any place going to be open, though? With all the snow? Still seems quite deep.”  

“Yeah, the government does actually shovel public property, if you must know—”

“All right—”

“I checked with Gus on the way here, the Stardrop’s open. If that works. For you.” 

“What time?” 

Alex blinked several times before asking, “6:30?” 

“Sure.” 

“Yeah?” 

“…yeah…” 

Alex beamed. “Wow! Really? Great! Really great! Um. I’ll see you then!” 

Achilles nodded slowly, his wet sleeve forgotten as his brain worked to stymie the confusion currently sweeping his brain as Alex bounded off the porch and nearly half-skipped off the farm. It was quite a few minutes before he retreated back indoors, where he promptly curled himself onto his couch beneath the portrait of two root vegetables and continued to think. 

Alex, on the other hand, was halfway through his very first day as Orange Grove Fitness’ new manager before realizing that both the conversation he had spent all night constructing and the letter he had spent all morning writing had been completely devoid of quite a number of choice key words. And right at the end of his lunch break! Head buried atop his new desk, a ham and cheese sandwich scrunched in his fist as his (Achilles’) watch struck 2…

“Oh, you stupid idiot, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Date. How in the heckity heck did you miss the word—”

*****

This was a date. 

Surely, Alex had been asking him out on a date. 

Now he hadn’t said the word date. But the man wouldn’t have chewed straight through his lip or hiked two miles through half-shoveled snow to hand deliver a hand written note just to ask Achilles to a simple dinner. Right? They’d had dinner a million times, there was definitely something different to this one. Right? 

Stay calm, bitch! 

The clues were clear—Achilles had written them down in his notebook to better organize his thoughts, and even if he set aside his own feelings, the whole situation was still quite objectively suspect. An ordinary request such as this would not have required such extra-ordinary efforts if the aforementioned ordinary request was, in actuality, an ordinary request. RIGHT?  

But it just seemed so… sudden. Surely a near-platonic peck on the nose couldn’t have triggered something to this extent? He had hoped the letter would be more explicit, but it unfortunately hadn’t revealed much either. 

Hi Achilles! Hope you enjoyed your first ever snow day. Or snow week, really. How many crosswords did you get done? I bet you made the most of it, but if you didn’t, that’s cool, too. 

I know this mihgt seem really sudden, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past couple of days, and I would love if you met me in the saloon tonight for dinner. 6:30pm if that works.

Hope to see you then! :-)

Best,

Alex. 

He’d have given the man a call to clarify if it hadn’t been his first day on the new job.

Oh, Alex, Alex, Alex… 

Achilles was calm. He was always calm, right? He’d just… act normal. Follow Alex’s lead. Yes. This was going to be fine. 

But he made sure to clean his room. Just in case. 

*****

Alex—well the whole town, really—always claimed he overdressed, so even if this wasn’t a date, the embroidered bomber jacket Achilles had adorned wouldn’t have raised any alarm bells. 

It would be best not to get his hopes up, though. Just in case. But as Achilles trudged through the half-shoveled snow to the saloon, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. 

Emily welcomed him the moment he stepped foot in the saloon, her eyes glittering as she took his arm. Haley, he saw, was coincidentally paying the Stardrop a rare visit today, having claimed a booth to herself despite the crowds and its accompanying damp, musty scent. She pursed her lips when he made eye contact, gave a wily little wiggle of her shoulders—really, quite remarkable how up in his business that button nose of hers could reach. He responded with a venomous grin and a raised middle finger. Incredibly impolite, of course, but he was only returning what she’d given him many a season ago. 

Achilles followed Emily down the back hall to where the private rooms lay (So… definitely a date, right?), where they stopped at the very last door. 

“Right along in here… oh, and would you look at that, I forgot to bring the menus. You go on in, I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, all right, Emily…”  

As she dashed away, arms held aloft like a ballerina, he took a deep breath, then pushed the door open. 

Immediately, Alex, who had been seated at a small table in quite a small private room, jumped to his feet, tripping over the wooden chair as he half-stumbled for the door. “Hey!” 

Oh fuck. 

Outside of the Flower Festival back in the Spring, Achilles had rarely seen Alex out of activewear and athleisure. The sight of those arms now, tight in the sleeves of a forest green cardigan, would’ve alone been enough to send even Leah’s heart racing, surely. But the lightly patterned, sage button down—well. A man after his own heart.

Alex’s hair was combed back, tidier than he’d ever seen it (though a part of Achilles did miss the casual, semi-messy curls of it all), and as he shut the door behind him, he noticed something more akin to vanilla and cinnamon had replaced Alex’s usual citrus scent. 

But Achilles quickly found his breath and shook himself out of his reverie, taking a step forward just as Alex finished picking up the chair he’d sent keeling to the floor. 

“Hi—”

“This-was-supposed-to-be-a-date-but-if-you-don’t-want-it-to-be-one-I-completely-understand-I-didn’t-mean-to-ambush-you-I’m-just-really-stupid-just-tell-me-whatever-it-is-you-want.” 

But Achilles could only blink, lost in Alex’s rather anxious, wild-eyed stare, eyes greener than ever in the rosy overhead lighting. 

Did you hear that right? It is a date—you were right, good for you. Wait. He definitely said date, right? He said it was a date. Confirm? Confirm— “Pardon?” 

“Also these are for you. I mean, if you want them.”

Alex half-shoved a cellophaned bouquet into Achilles’ hands. Half a dozen white roses and goldenrod wrapped in a emerald green ribbon. Not Pierre’s work, or even Jojamart’s. No, someone must’ve paid a visit to a Zuzu City florist. 

Date?

Yes! Date! 

Man, you gotta say something, bitch. 

“Oh. Thank you. These are… beautiful. Thanks. Yes. A date. I… assumed.” 

Assumed? Assumed? My god, what an arrogant prick you are. Get it together. What’s the matter with you?

He accepted the flowers from Alex, and in a sudden flash of inspiration, let his fingers linger on Alex’s for perhaps one or two seconds longer than necessary as the bouquet was passed between them. The effect was instantaneous—at this apparent affirmation of Achilles’, Alex’s visibly brightened, bounding back to the dinner table and pulling out Achilles’ chair for him. 

“Wow,” he exclaimed, scooting the chair forward as Alex hurried to the other end of the table. “I didn’t think people did that anymore. You do this for all the girls or just me?” 

“Don’t feel too special, I do that for everyone.”

“Damn. At least tell me I’m prettier than all the other girls you’ve dated.” 

“You know I don’t like lying, Ash, don’t make me do it.” Alex grinned, handing him a menu that Emily evidently had not forgotten to leave behind. 

“Zero for two. Well, it was worth a try.” God, shut up. He must’ve been more nervous than he realized. Babbling like this. Stupid jokes. Chill out, man. Why are you nervous? You’re never nervous! No reason to be nervous. He asked you out… you have all the power here. Yoba, shut the fuck up! Stop thinking like that! What’s wrong with you? Asshole! 

Achilles’ poker face was near to breaking as his self-disgust began to overwhelm his nerves, but he was luckily rescued by Emily, who had returned with a knock at the door. “No violin today, Al?” She shimmied in with her question, ignoring Alex’s groan, and raised her notepad, ready to take their orders. 

“I haven’t had Gus play the violin for me in 10 years, Emily, when is that joke ever going to die—” 

“Ask him about the violin,” she said, bumping Achilles’ shoulder with her hip. “And the Handbook.” 

“Emily—”

“Now just a warning for ya, it’s a bit busy tonight. Seems like lots of folks eager to get out after the storm, but Gus’ll get your order out shortly. Now what can I get for y’all?” 

A steak for Alex, linguine with mushroom cream for Achilles—with her usual spritely bow, Emily scampered from the room, leaving Alex still red from whatever merciless ribbing she had dealt him. 

“So,” Achilles began, lifting his glass of water. Perhaps a cold drink would wash away his lingering anxieties, though Emily’s return had broken most of the tension for him. “The violin…” 

With the defeated air of getting something over with, Alex took a similar swig from his water before launching into a hurried, one-breath explanation. “My grandpa gave me a dating handbook when I turned 13, and yes, I will admit I followed it pretty religiously up through college, so Haley really got to see the worst of it all, and she and Emily have never gotten over it, but hey, in my defense there’s some stuff in there that’s really not half bad, I swear.”  

“Like giving your date flowers? And pulling out their chair?”

Alex grimaced.

“Well shit, Al, I’m feeling less and less special by the second.” 

Here, Alex seemed to visibly deflate, sinking deeper into the back of his chair until Achilles, rather alarmed by the somewhat uncharacteristic lack of confidence—maybe he’s nervous, too, bitch—rapped his fingers sharply against the table. “I’m just joking, Al. Sorry, I’m being an ass, it’s very… charming.”

That seemed to be enough to pull Alex back to his usual self, and Achilles quickly plowed ahead, making sure to keep his tone light. “But the violin Emily mentioned?” 

“Ah. Yes.” Alex rubbed his nose, preparing his next words carefully as if gearing up for the worst. “Well, if you must know… according to the handbook, I’m supposed to start first dates with a little sort of violin serenade from Gus.” 

“You’re lying to me.” 

“I really wish I was.”

“And you actually… did that.” 

“Oh, just a few times. I don’t know man, my only source of dating advice when I moved here was my really old and old fashioned grandpa.”

“Fair enough. I’ll allow it.”

Alex chuckled, and once again took a quick sip from his drink just as Achilles raised his own. A lull in the conversation—but not an uncomfortable one, Achilles thought, as he took the opportunity to casually savor the view from over the rim of his glass. He hadn’t ever really allowed himself to do it before. It had always felt rather intrusive, salacious even, to stare for longer than a beat or so—but surely now, of all times, it was… okay. Right?

Clearly Alex had put in quite a bit of effort tonight, really, it felt wrong not to appreciate it all… anyway, it was hard to ignore those eyes sparkling from across the table, pink lips slightly parted as Alex readied himself to take probably his twentieth sip of water. Achilles could think of just a few other things he’d rather see those lips do, but he dug his thumb into his palm and refocused himself back to the present. You perv, he thought, his own lips twisting to the side as he attempted to hold back a wry grin. Get your mind out of the gutter.

It was Alex who broke the silence, with a tentative observation of his own. “You, um… you look really nice.” His fingers were locked tightly together as they rested atop the table, and through the floorboards, Achilles could feel the faint vibration of what must have been Alex bouncing his foot. “You don’t usually wear black.” 

“I do in the Winter, you’ll see. It tricks me into thinking I’m less cold than I am.” 

“Ha.” 

“You look good, too.” Achilles threw a nod in Alex’s general direction. “Probably should’ve opened with that, I was thinking it when I came in, but I suppose the words didn’t get a chance to make it out of my mouth.” 

“Oh!” A blush crept into the man’s cheeks as he glanced towards the floor. “Thank you. I- I wasn’t sure, personally, I told Haley I thought the sweater was too small, you know, but she, uh, she told me to shut up—” 

“Always, such a lovely, lovely girl.” Achilles’ eyes followed the well-defined slope of Alex’s bicep. “But she’s right. Don’t worry. It’s perfect.” 

“Well, I can’t really raise my arms…”

“Listen, I don’t know if you know this, but I actually come from a long line of really famous fashion designers, and by long line, I mean just my mother—”

“Man, you don’t know a dang thing about fashion—” 

“Fuck, 0/3—I thought this was supposed to be a date, why are you being so mean to me?”

“I’m not—well because—because you’re so calm, why are you always so calm, it’s pissing me off.” With a barking laugh, Alex chucked his napkin across the table as Achilles, rather bewildered by Alex’s uncharacteristically off-base observation, flung his hands instinctively in front of his face. 

“It’s incredibly kind of you to ignore the five mental breakdowns you’ve witnessed me have, is doing that part of your grandpa’s handbook, too?” But as Achilles slid the cloth back across the table, he became more serious, and he continued in a somewhat softer tone. “There’s no reason to be nervous, Al, it’s just me. Just think of all the times I’ve humiliated myself in front of you, eh?”

That elicited a small smile, at the very least. But while Achilles’ anxiety had since settled for the most part, it seemed Alex would need more than a weak joke. 

“Speaking of nerves though, how was the first day on the new job, Mr. Manager?” 

Achilles gave himself a private pat on the back as Alex jumped at the redirection, the apprehension in his eyes rapidly melting as he eagerly shared his new schedule. 

What a pro you are! Still got it… 

The conversation carried them all through Emily’s return with their appetizers and dishes—and it was only after she left (with a rather unnecessary promise of “leaving them undisturbed”), that Alex’s hands, so animated during his recounting, returned to tightly gripping the glass of his water. 

Achilles waited—as Alex would ruefully say—calmly. It was clear he had something to say.

And indeed, Alex cleared his throat with the tiniest cough and, after a quick glance at the door to confirm they were indeed alone, pulled his chair an inch forward. 

“Um. Right. Achilles. So. I thought I’d get a private room so we could… talk. I mean, not that we wouldn’t be able to talk if we didn’t have a private room, but it’s loud out there, and it’s what my grandpa’s handbook always said I should do anyway—I don’t know why I just admitted that, I’m sorry. Um, anyway, all that to say—you know, actually, I wrote myself some notes, sorry, give me a second…” 

He fumbled with something in the pocket of his chinos as Achilles smothered another smile. 

“This really makes me look like a nerd doesn’t it, but I just wanted to make sure I was… clear. About things. And didn’t forget anything, you know, especially after how stupid I was this morning. So if you could, um, maybe listen for a bit?” 

Achilles gave a smooth, little nod that managed not to betray the twitch that had returned to his limbs. “For sure. The floor’s all yours.” 

Alex grimaced and, taking a deep breath, unfolded a rather wrinkled piece of notebook paper and began to read aloud in a rather toneless, slow and slightly stuttered recitation. 

“When we first met, I was instantly drawn to you. And it wasn’t just because I was your number one fan.” He glanced up. “Ha.” Eyes dropped abruptly back down to the page as he continued. 

“I think a part of me knew we were destined to be great friends. And I was really happy when we actually did become friends. I had never had a friend like you. You were so smart and cool and you made me feel like I could actually do things with my life. I really liked spending time with you.

“And then during the blizzard, I…” The paper between Alex’s hands began to crinkle as his grip tightened ever so slightly, but he continued to stare, laser focused, on the scribbled words. “Well I started thinking that maybe I liked you as… more than a friend. It was confusing. I kept telling myself, ‘You can’t have these feelings for another guy.’ I mean, I’d never had feeling like this for anyone.

“But I thought about it a lot. Went back and forth a lot trying to decide, I was going crazy, really. And, well. I think I really like you. Like that. And that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date to—what? Oh. I think I spelled ‘tonight’ wrong. Agh, stupid. Okay, anyway. And that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date tonight.” 

With a bit of a sniff, Alex folded the paper back into quarters and gave Achilles a rather awkward, teeth-baring attempt at a smile. It was the most unflattering he had ever looked, in Achilles’ opinion, and somehow that made it all the better. Alex patted his folded notes and ended with a little nod. “Well. That’s it.” 

During the blizzard… 

So this had been a much more recent realization than Achilles had originally believed. 

Thank Yoba you didn’t make a move earlier. 

Had it really just been the kiss on the Mullner’s front porch? It had barely been a kiss—couldn’t have been less romantic if he’d tried. Was that really all it had taken to ignite this? He’d taken barely three days to think this through. Though, then again, he supposed Alex had always been the more impulsive one between them… Not everyone spends a whole week anguishing over pros and cons lists, you dumb bitch. 

“What was the turning point?” Achilles asked as Alex shoved the scrap of paper back into his pocket. “I’m just curious. These past few days, what made you ultimately decide that you… wanted this?” 

“Oh. During the storm.” Alex shoved the scrap of paper back into his pocket. “I don’t know, I guess I just realized… I don’t know. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it would’ve been to have been snowbound with you.” 

*****

After it became clear to Alex that Achilles was not going to escape out the back door of the saloon after hearing Alex’s prepared remarks, his usual optimistic countenance quickly returned. By the time the two dug into their dinners, they had managed to roll back into their usual groove, chatting and laughing with familiar ease all through dessert until Emily returned with the check. 

“Oh, I’ve got it—”

“Like hell you do—”

“I was the one who asked you out, I should pay—”

“Emily, give me the check or I’m never coming here again—”

“That’s an empty threat if I’ve ever heard one, the only thing you cook yourself is a boiled egg.”

Emily seemed to agree. She hip checked Achilles’s outstretched hand and, with a rather hyena-like cackle, seized Alex’s card before dodging Achilles once again on her way out. 

“You know, the Handbook says it’s proper for the man to always pay,” Alex said, snootily tossing his napkin onto his plate with a raised pinkie. “Now I don’t know what that means for us, exactly, but at least let me have this one, will you?” 

Achilles rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest as he craned his neck in search of nothing. “The napkin’s actually supposed to go on the left when you’re finished with your meal, but never mind that. Where’s Gus? Can someone get Gus? I want a violin serenade pronto.” 

*****

Haley had disappeared by the time the two emerged from the private room, but Achilles, who had eyes for only one person, didn’t notice her absence. Neither did he notice the thick clumps of snow now falling under the glow of the moon, even as Alex held open for him the Stardrop’s front door and said, “Want to take a walk? It’s not too late, I don’t think.” 

“Sure,” Achilles said with a soft smile. The bouquet Alex had gifted him was in one hand, and he tightened his scarf with the other as he stepped out into the cold. “Just a walk, though? Not a run?” 

“Oh, you want to run?” 

Without waiting for a response, Alex tore down the cobblestone path to the south. 

“Fuck—Al, you’re going to slip and break your neck—fucking athletes, I knew I’d sworn them off for a reason—“ 

But the wind covered his calls and his muttered curses, and he had no choice but to hurtle after Alex, laughing even as he skidded past a bewildered Lewis. He hadn’t jogged in a fat minute—not that he likely would’ve caught up to Alex anyway at his peak back in the Fall—but even despite the cold, he gave a merry chase, sprinting across the bridge until his foot found the soft, squishy crunch of slushy sand. There was snow on the beach. Of course there was—we just had a blizzard, you dolt. 

But even so, the strange sight came a surprise. He stopped to take in the cool glow of the snow, a white sheet stretching all the way down to the waves up ahead. It wasn’t deep, but the dampness still managed to seep through his boots. 

Luckily, the rest of him was all warmed up now, thanks to their mile race through Pelican Town. Whether that had actually been Alex’s intention, nervous energy, or the man just couldn’t help but exercise whenever given the opportunity, he wasn’t quite sure. Regardless, with a bit of a wheeze, he sidled up next to where Alex (who was infuriatingly not out of breath) stood waiting by Elliott’s cabin. The light was on, casting both arrivers in its mellow beam, but if the writer had noticed their arrival, he took care not to disturb them. 

“Can I, um… can I hold your hand?” 

“Hmm?” Achilles, who was still slightly bent at the waist catching his breath, glanced rather pitifully up at the green-clad figure above. 

“I just… I just figured it’d make the whole thing feel a little bit more like a date,” Alex, slightly red, said with the barest hint of a shrug. “I don’t know, sorry, is that weird? We don’t have to. It’s just that… it’s just  kinda felt like we’ve been… hanging out.” 

“We are hanging out,” Achilles said, slowly straightening himself up. “I mean, if we break it down, that’s basically what a date is, right?” 

“I guess…” 

Achilles had never exactly loved the concept of holding hands—he sweat too easily and it threw off his stride—but off of Alex’s blink-and-you-missed-it frown, he weaved his arm through Alex’s and led him towards the boardwalk.

Remember what Elliott said… 

Physical touch was never Achilles’ forte. It’s not that he disliked it. Quite the contrary (well, as long as it was in private). It was simply that non-sexual touch didn’t come as naturally to him as it did for others. Often more of an afterthought than something top of mind. But, as Elliott had reminded him, Alex, who greeted his friends with a hug nearly as often as he did a wave, would likely find more validation in something beyond the mere time they were spending together.

“Would you like to sit down?” Alex kicked a clump of snow off the wooden planks and into the water before laying down his coat and chuckling. “Shoot, I really feel like I’m 13. Yoba, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry, I promise, I’ve been on a lot of dates before—”

“Wow, we’ve got a veritable Casanova out here, everyone—”

“All right, that didn’t come out right, you know what I meant. Although I don’t really know what you meant just now—” 

“You’re a big baller.” 

“Okay, okay, no, I just… look, I just don’t know what to do. With you.” 

“A thing like that. You know how to make a boy feel special. What does the Handbook recommend?” 

Alex began to tick off his fingers as he huddled slightly closer to Achilles on the boardwalk. “Well we’ve had the dinner. I got you flowers. Pulled out your chair. Paid. Asked if we could hold hands. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but later I’m going to offer to walk you home if you must know.” 

“That’s adorable—you’re adorable—has anyone on your numerous dates before ever told you that?” 

“Man, I could beat you up.” 

“Why are you always threatening to beat me up?”

“Wasn’t it you who once said that every child deserves to get bullied just a little bit or something?” 

“Are you calling me a child?”  

“Man, I’m just making up for lost time, you don’t seem like someone who got shoved into a locker enough as a kid.” 

Despite the confidence in Alex’s quip, Achilles could feel the tension in the tightened muscles of his arm. The small space Alex had left between them had felt purposeful—tentative. Even now, Achilles watched as his hands fluttered from place to place, as if eager for something to hold, but too afraid to commit. 

Realizing it would be up to him to reassure a flustered Alex out of his hesitation, Achilles closed the gap, tightening the grip around his bicep and tucking his head onto his shoulder. The whole thing was admittedly rather stiff in its deliberateness, but as he better settled into the crook of Alex’s neck—felt Alex, who seemed to recognized the permission Achilles had silently granted, now reach eagerly for his hand—and inhaled the rich, velvety scent of vanilla, he believed there wasn’t a spot in the world he’d rather be. 

Minutes passed, and they listened to the waves crash against the shore. 

“Do you think Elliott’ll stay in the valley? If his book gets published?” 

“Hmm.” Achilles stirred—shit, had he nearly fallen asleep? Can’t fall asleep in your own damn bed, but everything’s always fine and dandy and soothing out here on this damp ass wood. What’s this boardwalk got on you?

Though maybe it wasn’t the boardwalk’s doing. 

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to think so. I hope he buys himself a better house at any rate… or at least a second chair…” 

“Have you been writing?” 

“Mmm. Not in the way you’re asking. Does it count if it’s in my head?” 

“I don’t see why not. But hey, I don’t make the rules.”  

Achilles sighed and lay slowly down, his back against the boardwalk as he gazed up at the stars. Alex followed, though he chose to lie on his side, one arm beneath his head, the other resting atop Achilles’ chest as his hand continued to grip Achilles’. 

“I’ve got an idea. Well, it’s the same idea I had before, if you remember those pages you snooped a look at when you were cleaning my house… I’ve got it pretty much outlined in my head and everything, it’s just… well you know. I want it to mean something. I want it to matter, I want to finally write something… more than all those kid books I wrote when I was younger, those were so simple, so… stupid. I just don’t know why it’s so fucking hard.” 

The stars twinkled above them, and Alex thumbed his hand. The soft touch, combined with the steady rhythm of the small movement, slowly sweetened the bitter hollow that seemed to have taken up semi-permanent residence in his chest. 

“Sometimes I think we’ve built up this idea that we have to always be, like, fighting for the things that we want. That if something isn’t hard then it must be wrong or, like… I don’t know. Not important.” Alex was tracing letters onto the back of Achilles’ hand now. “But I don’t know, maybe it’s the lazy bum part of me but sometimes—and I promise, I do mean sometimes, not all the time… but sometimes I do think things are easy because they’re the right thing to do.” 

Achilles turned his head. In the dark, Alex’s eyes were black, but under the glow of the moon, he could count the snowflakes on every lash. 

*****

“Well. Here it comes, drum roll please, everyone: can I walk you home?” Alex gave Achilles a hand as they rose from the boardwalk and didn’t let go as they exited the beach. 

“Only if you give me a copy of this Handbook later.” 

“I actually wonder if I do have a copy somewhere still… I don’t know, I’ve pretty much got it memorized at this point.”

“Because you’ve gone on so many dates.”

“Yeah, exactly. I was a real Casa—Cassiopeia? What did you say before?”

“Casanova? Wait, did you say Cassiopeia—fairly niche mythological reference—”

“What can I say, I’m full of surprises. Anyway, whatever, I was hot stuff before you got to know me, you know.” 

“Man, shut the fuck up, you were hot stuff even while I knew you, remember Abigail’s birthday party…” 

The two laughed as they made their way back to Strawberry Farms, taking the slightly longer route through Cindersap Forest, despite the cold and the late hour.

Alex walked him to the porch. The motion sensor lights Achilles had installed nearly a year ago had flickered on the moment they passed the shipping bin, and so they stood awash in the weak fluorescence of a buzzing overhead lamp. 

He was lingering—definitely lingering, biting his lip in typical Alex-fashion, his eyes dancing everywhere except Achilles’ face. And after a beat, Achilles—ever impatient—said, “All right, are you going to ask me if you can kiss me now?” 

Alex jumped—actually jumped. “Oh.” Between rapid blinks, he managed to stutter, “Do you want me to ask you?” 

“I—it was a joke.” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“It was a joke. You know, with the Handbook. I assumed you were just gearing up for Step 5 or whatever step we’ve reached…”  

“Oh. No, I’m not supposed to kiss anyone until the third date. Obviously. Anything sooner is impolite and im… dang, what was the other word… immoral? Is that a word? Yes. Immoral. Obviously.” 

“What?” Achilles stepped back, throwing a hand to his forehead in mock shock. “Fuck, so this whole time, my whole life—I’ve just been a slut? Shit, I always knew it—” 

Alex laughed, but, to Achilles’ surprise, took a small, shy step forward.  “Do you want me to ask you?” 

Taking a page from Alex’s book, Achilles found himself biting his own lip as he met Alex’s inscrutable gaze. “I—Yes.” 

A pause. And then, “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes.” 

In one step, Alex closed the remaining foot between them. His hands gripped the back of Achilles’ neck, and with a boldness he had been so hesitant to demonstrate earlier this evening, Alex cupped his face and kissed him. 

He tasted like vanilla and he tasted like gold and as Achilles let himself drown in the molten glow of his touch, he found he felt… happy. 

But the kiss didn’t last long—barely a second, really, for Alex’s lips had almost instantly parted upon impact in that wide-toothed grin of his, his tongue peeking out per usual—and the two of them quickly dissolved into laughter.  

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, still half-laughing as he leaned his forehead into Achilles’. “That was… really bad. I swear I’m better than that—”

“Yeah, all that practice being hot stuff and all—”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I was born so dang se—” 

“Stay the night.” But through the sleeves of a slightly-damp coat, he felt Alex stiffen, and so Achilles hurried to add, “We don’t have to do anything. I don’t expect anything. We can just talk. I just… I don’t want you to leave just yet.” 

Immediately, Alex slackened as a small but earnest smile returned to his face. 

“Ok.” 

*****

Achilles put on some late night tea as Alex took a seat in the kitchen, Voltaire already snuggled in his lap. 

Over the course of the blizzard, Achilles had finally moved the typewriter from where it had been sitting, like a monument to all his shortcomings, untouched upon the table. Not that he’d gotten around to taking it out of the box—it was now sitting underneath his desk, still packaged—but, hey, small steps.

Sitting in the center of the kitchen table now were a dozen white roses and goldenrod blooms in Achilles’ favorite (well, only remaining) vase.

“I can boil you an egg, too, if you’d like,” Achilles said, lips twitching as he slid over a cup of chamomile tea and a tray of strawberry scones he’d purchased from Pierre’s that afternoon.

“Ya know what, that sounds great, but I’m actually good. But thanks.” 

It was easy—so easy to just sit here, together. He shouldn’t have expected anything less. It had always been easy with Alex. 

They sat across the table from each other. Perhaps if Achilles had remembered Elliott’s advice, had been a little bit more thoughtful of a person, he would’ve moved closer—held Alex’s hand again, maybe bump his knee with his own. But in the moment, he was too drunk on his own happiness to give Alex’s prospective wants the consideration they likely should’ve deserved. 

The scones and tea had long disappeared, but the two were eager to use any excuse to prolong the end of the evening—from walking through the schedule for Elliott’s book reading tomorrow to dissecting the latest season of The Bachelor (which neither of them actually watched, yet both were somehow still in the know), it wasn’t until the clock struck midnight that Achilles, in begrudging acknowledgment that any further delays would throw off his finely tuned sleeping schedule, slapped the table and stood.

“Well. I’ve got some extra toothbrushes and some clothes you can borrow, if that works for you. Ready to call it a night?” 

*****

What is wrong with you. 

It was Alex who was in the shower right now, but it was Achilles’ good mood that seemed to be dripping down the drain. 

God, why can’t you just enjoy things, you bastard. 

Surely he deserved to be happy, even if just a little bit, right? Yes, surely being happy was allowed. Then why was it now feeling like some sort of… betrayal? 

Fuck, who is there even to betray, bitch? Get yourself together. No one wants to date a grump. 

He needed to be better. Alex deserved better. Alex, who was like light and like stars. Alex, who was turning out to be everything and more than what he ever had hoped to imagine. He could be better, if this stupid ass mood of his would just go away. 

Where did you even come from? Get out and mind your own damn business and let me be happy for once.

Lost in thought, he didn’t notice the water shutting off—neither did he hear Alex call his name as he stood sourly against the wall of his bedroom, half-dressed, still trying to duke it out with his own brain. 

“Achilles? What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” He snapped his head towards the voice. 

“You’re thinking about something.” Alex had emerged from the bathroom wearing a set of sweatpants and an old t shirt Achilles had found at the back of a drawer. “I can see it on your face, what is it?” 

“Mmm.” Achilles massaged the bridge of his nose and set a glass of water down by the nightstand before opening the top drawer to retrieve something small. “Nothing I haven’t already thought pretty much to death.” 

Alex cocked his head, a knowing look on his face as he padded around the bed to take a seat behind the desk. “Want to think about it to death with me?” 

“I— No.”

“You sure?” 

Achilles uncrossed his arm only to cross them again. “I mean, we’re on a date…” 

“Sure, but we’re still friends, aren’t we?”   

Fuck. 

Always with the patience of a saint. He didn’t deserve him—hell, was there anyone on this planet who deserved him? And strangely, with this thought, as quickly as his mood had come did it fade. Maybe it was true that nobody deserved Alex, but for some unbelievable reason Alex wanted him, and he trusted Alex’s judgement, so hey, who was Achilles to deprive him of that? 

“It’s fine. Really. Like I told you before, it comes and goes…. Here.” Achilles held out his hand, dropping the item he’d retrieved from his nightstand into Alex’s open palm. “This is yours. Held onto it for awhile there, didn’t I. Sorry about that.”

“Oh! Yes, thank you!” Alex rested his arm across his leg to better clasp the thin leather watch around his wrist. “Wow, I totally forgot—I guess you should probably take yours back, too, here—”

But before he could remove the smart watch, Achilles bent to snatch Alex’s wrist, holding his arm up tightly between them. The sharp movement triggered a rather equally sharp intake of breath from the watch-wearer, but Achilles pretended not to notice, biting back his smirk as he glanced at the steps recorded on the watch face—a higher number than he was used to seeing, that was for sure, even with all his jogs.  

“Mmm. Actually. You want to keep it? You’re probably getting more use out of it than I did.” 

“Oh no, that’s all right—”

“I’m not sure if this one’s waterproof, though… have you tried swimming with it?”

“Oh. Maybe? I don’t really remember taking it off. Sorry, was that bad?” 

“Eh.” Achilles, his fingers still splayed taught around Alex’s wrist, unclasped the watch and chucked it behind him where it fell about a foot short of the nightstand.

“Good aim.” 

“I’ll get you a newer one.” 

“Achilles, no, stop, man, you don’t have to do that—”

“Shh, no, no, just let me buy you things, what else am I good for?” 

But he said the words with a lazy smile, and after running his hand through his hair, bent to retrieve the smart watch from the floor. 

When he turned back from the nightstand, he noticed Alex watching him with a curious, wide-eyed innocence quite at odds with the subject of his stare. Mirroring the characteristic tilt of Alex’s own head, Achilles, his lips twitching as he held in a laugh, slowly knelt until he finally caught Alex’s eye. 

The man immediately flushed scarlet, shutting his slightly parted mouth with a snap as he turned quickly away from Achilles’ unclothed chest. “Ah—sorry.” 

“For what? Making me feel good about myself?” Achilles chuckled, straightening back to full height. “Although you’ve watched me swim a million times, you should know there’s nothing nearly as impressive to look at as what you see in the mirror every damn day—”

“Stop that.” Alex aimed a light kick before jumping up from the chair and joining him by the nightstand. “I think you’re perfect, you know.” 

“Aw, Alexander, aren’t you just the swe—”

“Just physically, of course. There’s still some work to do up here.” He tapped Achilles’ forehead. 

“All right, bitch—” 

But he silenced Achilles with a hand to his chest—except that wasn’t quite it, was it?

Fuck. 

He could feel his body heat—or maybe it was his own body that was suddenly beginning to blaze. From anticipation? From impatience? For Alex’s actual hand was hovering just barely a centimeter above his skin. 

Dammit, just touch me, Alex. 

But before he could speak, Alex, his voice wavering slightly, murmured, “Can I?”

Always so damn polite. 

“Yes.” 

He wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn’t for Alex to reach first for his hand, tracing each of Achilles’ fingers, the lines of his palm, slowly, as if savoring each divot and crease. It was, if he was honest, a little strange, but he said nothing, only breathed, ragged and rough, as Alex’s own fingers traveled up to his wrist, up his forearm, to his bicep where they lightly circled the band tattooed on his skin. 

Achilles closed his eyes. Relished the callused touch upon his collarbone that burned even with the lightest brush. Gentle. Everything so gentle. 

One hand slipped to his lower back, and Alex’s touch on his bare skin sent a quiver through his body—he felt Alex pull him closer, felt him rest his forehead against his own. His breath was warm, but smelled faintly of peppermint. 

Alex’s thumb parted his lips with a tenderness Achilles had never before allowed himself. 

“Can I try again?” The whisper tickled his ear and a velvet thrill itched his heart. “I promise it’ll be better this time.” 

Achilles nodded. 

And yet, despite it being his own ask, Alex’s hesitance seemed to have returned. A delicate, trembling sigh seemed to be serving as the entr’acte before this second at, and so it was Achilles this time who closed the gap. 

Perhaps he should’ve been gentle, perhaps he should’ve been polite, but he wanted it and he had wanted it and Alex was here, asking for it— 

Utterly helpless, a moth to Alex’s flame. Yet it was Achilles who pulled him in with the hunger of a dying fire and kissed him as if he were oxygen, like he was fuel. Electricity sparked through every vein as his hands raked through still-damp hair, along his neck, his shoulders, muscles taut and tight and touching him back—it was rash and reckless, and surely it was right—

But something nagging at the back of his mind managed to pierce through his desperate desire, and, not without difficulty, Achilles pulled himself away. To give himself a second to better regain control of himself, to give Alex a second to better decide—

Are you sure you want this, too? 

He slowed his breathing, let his hands drop from Alex’s hips. Prepared for the worst. 

Was I too fast? Too rough? Too much? 

For the first time, he found himself unable to meet Alex’s emerald gaze—that precise shade of green had, at some point, become synonymous for safety, so why was he suddenly so afraid? 

He could feel Alex watching him, though his own eyes he kept glued to the ground. Achilles had never felt so scrutinized. So small. 

Then, a hand on his neck. A finger resting below his ear, a thumb along his jaw. And Achilles was brought back to Spirit’s Eve. The first time Alex had kissed him. Had all been a character for Alex back then, a costume. How far had they come… 

Alex slowly lifted his chin and asked in a voice, soft and tentative, “Is… is that what you like?” 

“I—what? Yes, wh—Alex, what do you like—”

But Alex cut him off—seized him, kissed him, frenetic and greedy and deep and hard, and Achilles was set aglow. He pushed Alex towards the bed. Shoved him—not unkindly—down atop the duvet, straddled him and lifted his face up to better meet his own. His hands tugged at Alex’s shirt—god, just get that off—he wanted to feel him, more of him, all of him, he was burning, and wanting, and he very nearly got his wish—shirt halfway off, one hand clinging to the bare hollow of his back—until he was shoved unceremoniously off Alex’s lap and onto the floor. 

“What the fuck—”

“Shit—sorry—I’m sorry, I—fuck—” 

Achilles—ricocheting between irked and concerned—stumbled to his feet, cheeks red, and managed to spit out only one word whilst retrieving the pieces of his pride. “What?” 

He took a pause before following Alex’s avoidant gaze down to his lap, where Alex’s hands lay stiffly between his legs. 

“Oh.” Achilles wiped some imaginary dust off his hands as he pushed aside any lingering embarrassment. “Don’t apologize. You know, I, in fact, actually have a penis, too. I get it, it happens.” Wow! Great job not being awkward! Fucking idiot. But upon seeing Alex’s continued discomfort, he added in a less lighthearted tone, “I meant what I said earlier, Al, we don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” 

“Can—actually, can we talk?” 

“Of course. That’s why I invited you over, right? To talk. It was you who seduced me, you wench. Here.” He pinched his nose—can’t you sound normal just once in your life—and tossed Alex an extra pillow after pulling back the sheets. “We can… put that between us if you’d like, just… give me a second…” 

Achilles usually slept in just a pair of boxers, but after this most recent turn of events, he thought it best to head to the closet for a t shirt. His instincts were validated upon his return—Alex had indeed set the pillow in the middle of the bed, and was now clutching it like a life line. 

He paused, one hand on the corner of the covers. “I— I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I can actually sleep on the couch if you’d like. I’m sorry, I should’ve—”

“No. No, no, no, that’s not it at all, no, it’s, um. It’s something else. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry. It’s… well, it’s me. I’m the problem.” 

“Now don’t say that…” Achilles slipped slowly beneath the duvet, taking care not to accidentally touch as he gave both Alex and the pillow quite a wide berth. He lay on his back, as he usually did, hands folded across his chest. “Talk to me, Al. Floor is yours.”

He had left his bedside lamp on—it was a rather dim glow, usually reserved for late night reading or the crossword if he was having particularly bad sleep troubles, but he could still make out Alex’s furrowed brow from atop the pillow between them. 

“I… um…” A small sigh. Achilles watched Alex rub his face before turning to face the ceiling, one hand still kneading his forehead. “I, um, well… I don’t think—no. I, um…” 

“Do you want me to turn the light off? Will that help?”  

“No, it’s fine. Leave it on, I… I want to see you.”

“Man, you’re not even looking at me.” 

Alex clicked his tongue and continued to stare at the ceiling, but Achilles caught the corners of his mouth turn up just the slightest bit. “Okay, okay, you got me there…”

“Mmhm.” 

“It’s just that… Well. I just…”

This was a mistake. He doesn’t like you like that. He doesn’t want you. 

“I think there’s something wrong with me.” 

Oh. 

Achilles waited for further explanation, but Alex seemed somewhat disinclined to say more, (though in the subsequent silence, Achilles could hear the slight scrape of what was likely aggressive teeth gnashing). After waiting a respectable two minutes for an elaboration, Achilles took it upon himself to lightly prod. “Is it because… you’re… bisexual—” 

“I don’t think I’m bi.” 

“Oh.” Oh. Achilles had masked his surprise quickly, but even so, perhaps it was a good thing Alex wasn’t looking at him. No need to make the guy even more self conscious. “Well. Allow me to be the first person to say there’s nothing wrong with being gay either, if that’s what it is—” 

“That’s not it, I don’t— well. No, I wanted to—You see, what happened was—I- I don’t… I…” 

Alex’s eyes were now full on closed, his hand rather zealously rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“I’ve had sex before. To be clear. Like a lot of sex. Oh god, why’d I say it like that.” 

“Ah.” Achilles couldn’t help but wince. “It… it would’ve been all right if you hadn’t… to be clear.” 

“I mean, not with a guy.” 

He responded smoothly. “Sure. I assumed.” 

Another sigh, though this one had the hint of a growl as Alex’s exasperation continued to balloon. “Shit. Shoot. This is—well this is obviously not going how I wanted it to— I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying, I just. I’m nervous. About what you’re going to say, and think, and… I just…” 

Fuck, Achilles just wanted to hold him—but the situation was nebulous, and so he instead held his own hands, still resting across his chest, tighter, and kept his voice even. “It’s just me, Al. Like you said earlier, we’re still friends. You can tell me whatever, I’m not going to judge.” 

“But you might.” 

“I won’t.” 

“But you might.” 

“Alexander—” 

“I just—Well. I’ve never been in love before.” 

Finally, Alex turned to face Achilles. He lay on his side, his arms still fiercely wrapped around the pillow, and his face remained troubled—brows knitted, his lower lip drawn between his teeth.

“I was, um, 12, 13 when I moved here. Showed up to middle school smack dab in the middle of term. I was the new kid with a dying mom. Made me interesting, I think. Everyone wanted to be my friend. You know how it is…

“What caught me off guard though, was how many girls wanted to be my friend. Or, I guess, more than my friend, but it was middle school so I mean, how real could a relationship actually be, right…”

It wasn’t hard to imagine a 12 year old Alex—chubbier cheeks, probably, but the same freckles, the same large green eyes and sunny disposition—combine that with a tragic backstory and New Kid Novelty, and it was easy to see why the girls at Meridian Middle School had flocked to him. 

“It was… weird. I didn’t like it. I didn’t understand what they wanted from me… or why.

“And I pretty quickly realized, well, everyone was either girl crazy or boy crazy or both. Not just girls. My guy friends, too. Man, that’s all folks spent lunch yapping on about, who had a crush on who and whatever. I just didn’t get it—man, I just wanted to talk about grid ball. I don’t know, it was like that part of puberty just… never hit me, I guess…

“But after awhile, I think I just kind of assumed that everyone felt the way I did, but you just…weren’t supposed to talk about it. 

“Like I somehow logic-ed it out in my head that your girlfriend was just your best friend who happened to be a girl. And going on dates and stuff, that was just part of having a girlfriend. Like how when you’re a kid you have play dates, when you have a girlfriend you have, well, just… dates. I mean didn’t you say earlier, a date’s basically just hanging out, right? Especially in middle school. It’s just all part of like this script you were supposed to follow—and I mean, it couldn’t have helped that I literally had a dating handbook from my grandpa that was giving me step by step directions, telling me specific things to do. 

“Well anyway… I kept feeling this way, even into high school. People stopped being so boy crazy and girl crazy and whatever then, and I stopped feeling so paranoid, stopped overthinking it.

“And then I dated Haley for two years. Everyone kept telling me to ask her out, so I figured I would. If everyone was saying we’d be perfect together, they must be right, right? She was my first serious relationship. 

“And dating her actually made me feel—well, better. Validated? Is validated the right word? I liked hanging out with her, she was already my best friend, but, I don’t know, she never seemed that into me in any sort of fancy romantic way, she never really wanted to make out or hook up or anything all that often, and I thought, okay so maybe all that stuff really is all just an act, just stuff for movies, maybe I was right all along.

“Of course, that all came crashing down after she told me she was gay. She kept going on about ‘attraction’ and how it wasn’t a me problem, that she didn’t feel that way about any guys at all, that it was girls she liked, and I remember just nodding along because, honestly, I was just confused. 

“I mean, what even is attraction? I’d never thought about that much, not until she was going on and on about it. But when she was describing it, I realized that there was… something else that I was supposed to be feeling. Something I was missing. But it’s hard, you know, like how do you know what it is you’re missing if you’ve never been able to feel it in the first place? 

“You know, side note, funnily enough, after she came out, I actually had a second there where I wondered if maybe I was gay, too. Haley had never had a crush on a guy, I’d never felt that way about a girl—whatever “that way” was supposed to be feel. But I thought about it for a bit and ended up deciding I’d never felt that way about a guy either. And I’d been around a whole lotta guys. Sports camp, swim team… nothing.

“So I figured, well, I went back to square one. Maybe this is just how everyone feels. Maybe I just hadn’t met the right girl, maybe I should just give it some time. Maybe I needed to loosen up. So I just kept going through the motions. Doing what I thought everyone my age was doing.

“I was just so caught up with trying to find or feel or whatever, trying to prove that I was normal. So even though I had a bunch of solid excuses to not care about it all—swimming. Making the Artemics team. My grandparents getting sick—I think a part of me was…. I don’t know. Desperate. To find that feeling that I’d been missing, find that person. So I just kept… you know. Going out on dates. And… other stuff. Just nonstop.” 

Alex seemed to be approaching the crux of his story now. He sucked in a deep breath between his teeth before turning away again while his hands abandoned the pillow to rest atop his own chest, fingers softly tapping between his rib cage. 

“I thought sex was like… you know. Just something you were supposed to do. Like… shaking someone’s hand when you meet them for the first time or… saying thank you when someone opens the door for you. Like it’s just expected you do it. Hold a girl’s hand. Kiss her. Have… sex with her. I didn’t realize people actually wanted… like really wanted to… do these things. Beyond it making the other person happy. Like, I didn’t realize people actually had the… urge to do it. If that makes any sense. 

“Like I remember in college, one of my friends, his girlfriend kept cheating on him and I just couldn’t understand why, you know? Like why was it so hard for her not to cheat? Like, what could you possibly be feeling that made you do that, like, what was the reason, why would you sabotage something so easily in your control? And for my friend—why was it so hard, just break up with her already. Like, why stay with someone who… isn’t treating you good?” 

There was a small pause, but rather than dwell on darker memories, Alex continued steadily on. 

“I know there’s probably more to it, but I guess I just didn’t understand that kind of love. That feeling of… being in love with someone. I had never felt it before. That is…” 

Achilles felt Alex stir under the covers, felt him shift his weight as he turned onto his side, peaked his head back above the pillow like a turtle to look at him, a small smile now on his face.“That is, until last week. With you.

“You’re the first person, Ash. And I don’t know why, I don’t know why it’s you—don’t get me wrong, I’m… I’m glad it is.” He laughed, and to Achilles’ surprise, he reached across the pillow for his hand. 

“And I see why now it took me so long to even realize there was something wrong with me, that I was missing something, because how could anyone have ever really described to me what this feels like? Attraction. Even now, feeling it now, it’s just… wow. It’s like friends. Like best friend, I don’t know. But… different. And I like it.” 

Alex’s tiny sigh of satisfaction sent Achilles heart beating faster, but the rate at which Alex’s remaining hand was tapping against his chest began to quicken as well, and his tone grew more serious. 

“But if I’m honest, I… Well. I still feel like a part of me is missing something. In regards to, well… well, just… sex. Like… wanting to have sex. 

“I don’t understand why, because I really really like you, I do, and I… well I really liked kissing you. And stuff. And I… well… well normally I spend the time trying not to think about how gross the whole concept of making out with someone kind of is, but for the first time in my life ever, I… I want to do it. Like want to do it. Again. I mean of course, only if you, I don’t know… ever want to do it with me again… Shit. I sound 12, don’t I? Yoba, listen to me, we’ve had one date, you might never want to see me again.” 

A rather sheepish smile—Alex ran his free hand through his hair. 

“I don’t get it, I don’t get why it feels different, you’d think it’d be the same thing, wanting to be close to someone, wanting to kiss someone, wanting to have sex with them, I don’t know. Wow, I don’t think I’ve said sex as many times in my life as I have just now. What a weird word. Ok, sorry, anyway, I don’t know why I feel one but not the other now. I don’t get it, there’s just… something wrong with me, I don’t know. 

“I know this probably doesn’t make much sense, because I’ve hooked up with lots of people before that that I didn’t feel anything for, but I just… because I like you, and because I… do want to be with you, I want to… I don’t know, I want to… want it with you. Like, I want it to feel better, more, I don’t know, purposeful, than all the other times. 

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that having sex was, like, traumatic or anything in the past—no one forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do—I mean, I never wanted to do it, but only in the sense that I never had, like, the urge to do it. I wanted to want it, but every time I did it, it just felt like… I don’t know. A chore. Yeah. It felt like a chore, and honestly, according to a lot of the girls I dated, I was pretty dang bad at it —for reasons that, you know, now make a lot more sense—until I learned how to, you know— actually, we don’t have to get into that—um, well—anyway, back to what I was saying—

“And, I don’t know, I’d stopped hooking up with people by the time I left school. Given up, I guess, just figured there was something wrong with me. And just thinking about sex in general now makes me kind of…anxious. And I don’t want it to feel like that with you, I don’t want to… bring that in there, if that makes sense. I want this to feel… different. 

“Shit, wow, I guess all of this to say… super long story just to ask I guess… to just… I guess what I’m asking is if we can… can we take it slow? Is that stupid to ask? Is that, like, super lame? At 25 years old? Or I guess 28 in your case… geez…”

It took a second before Achilles, still digesting everything Alex had shared, realized he’d been asked a question. It was those green eyes—blinking wide-eyed rather expectantly—that jolted him back to the present, and with a small jump, he rushed to respond with something more akin to a squeal, “Not at all!” But worried that his hasty and high-pitched response (ugh) suggested a sentiment something more to the contrary, Achilles hurried to grip Alex’s hand tighter and said more firmly, “We’ll go as slow as you want. Slow as you need.” 

The reassurance seemingly failed to land, as Alex turned slightly away. “I… I know sex is… important to a lot of people, and it’s stupid to ask you to wait, it’s not like there’s a good reason—”

“—Al, any reason is a good reason—”

“—and I don’t want you to wait if you don’t want to, I mean like, if you’re someone who likes sex and, well, wants it…” Alex trailed off, but watched Achilles intently as the latter reached slowly over the pillow to brush aside some of the hair that had fallen into his face. 

“I mean, I won’t lie, Al. Like, I like having sex.” Achilles snorted, moving his hand down, tracing the line of Alex’s jaw. So smooth… the man shaved religiously, a holdover habit now unlikely to be broken anytime soon with his return to the competitive swimming world. “But I like you more. I think.”

Alex laughed, placing his hand now over Achilles’ to cup his own face. 

“No, but in all seriousness, it’s fine. Thank you for telling me this.” 

“But are you really sure? You’re fine with waiting? I… I don’t know how long it’ll be. I wish I could give you a timeline, I mean I wish I could say for sure it’ll actually even happen, to be honest, I don’t even know, but then I again I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love, but I see now these are different, and I don’t want to overpromise something that may not ever actually—” 

“Al, seriously. It’s fine. I’ll wait forever as long as I’m waiting with you.” 

This time, Alex’s smile reached his eyes, igniting that glimmer of mischief. He gave Achilles’ hand a firm, final smack before turning onto his back once again. “Well… forever’s an awfully long time, I think at a certain point I’d just… well, you know.” He made a circle with his left thumb and pointer finger and began to slowly move his right index finger towards it before Achilles whacked his shoulder. 

“Boy, I swear to Yoba—”

But Alex cut him off with a surprise kiss on the cheek. There was a careless sweetness to it, and despite the comparative innocence of the gesture, Achilles immediately bloomed pink—but as Alex returned to lying down, letting himself collapse atop the pillow, there was one final furrow still striking his brow. 

“I just… are you… disappointed? Achilles?” 

“What?” 

“I know, I know, you said it’s fine, but I just… I just want to… I don’t know. Are you disappointed? In me? You’ll tell the truth, won’t you?” 

Achilles understood. The need to hear a specific set of words—the hunger for honesty alongside the anxious ache for approval. He kept it simple. “I’m not disappointed in you. And you could never disappoint me.” 

It was remarkable, the speed at which those words transformed him; like night and day, Alex was now beaming like a sunrise. With a jaunty little wriggle, he pulled the covers up to his chin. “Okay. I’ll stop being sad now. I’ve ruined your sleep schedule enough and you’ve got a big day tomorrow.” 

“Elliott’s got a big day tomorrow, I’ve got like, a medium day.” But even so, Achilles leaned over the nightstand to flick off the lamp. 

“Medium shmedium… good night, Ash.” 

The pillow still rested between them, but Achilles didn’t mind. He knew Alex was there, and he knew now for sure Alex wanted him. 

He wasn’t sure how long he spent replaying the evening in his head—perhaps Alex had already fallen asleep, it was, admittedly quite a lot to digest—but nevertheless, at some point Achilles found himself suddenly speaking into the darkness.  

“It’s a thing, you know. Asexuality. Aromanticism. There’s a spectrum for both, but it’s all…  valid. It’s all… real, for lack of a better word, what you’ve felt and not felt in the past. There’s nothing wrong with you.” 

[justsome-di]

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 36 of 37

Summary: Alex is an ordinary, highly-introverted office worker. He clocks in and out and goes home to his little apartment he shares with his younger sister. He hasn’t dated in years by the time his co-workers set him up on a blind date.

The only issue is he and his date are not on the same page. At all.

While Alex thinks it’s a normal date, Damián is under the impression Alex is a client who paid to be there. No-so-quickly, they realize something is up. It’s all a prank. Damián is a sex worker Alex’s co-workers hired as a sick joke.

After reassuring that they’re both okay, Alex decides he wants revenge for both him and Damián. The plan is to use the stigma of sex work and start a 6-week, scandalous fake dating scheme with a big finale at the office Halloween party. Alex’s co-workers will be too horrified to try to prank him again. At least, that’s the plan.

You can also read this on AO3. If you don’t want to wait for new chapters, the complete story is on Patreon for only $4 with bonus stories! If you’re enjoying the story and want to support me in other ways, consider dropping me a message in my inbox or reblogging this post!

True crime provided a little catharsis. Damián couldn’t help but feel a smidgen of glee when the kidnapper of the story was caught by a local group of true crime enthusiasts and, mysteriously, was handed over to police battered and bloody. He punched the air when they showed his mugshot, one eye swollen shut and his lip bloody and split.

It was nice how a community looked out for one another. A child went missing in a small town, police did nothing, and so everyone else jumped in to help. It was a happy ending. He would let himself believe that that happened more often than not.

He leaned into Alex and let his warmth comfort him. He was in his apartment, he was safe, and he had made up with Alex. Good things were going to come, he told himself. He would forget how Jason’s arms felt around him someday. There would be better times ahead.

He’d take some time off from booking new clients and let himself rest for a little bit—even though he wasn’t great at the resting thing. Diego would understand if he canceled their upcoming appointment. He always understood, thank god. Damián would just have to make up three appointments now.

As the credits rolled on the episode, Eve and Leo walked in, Leo glaring in the direction of Alex for a moment before softening his gaze toward his brother. Damián would talk to him later.

“Aren’t you two cute!” Damián cooed.

They were in their costumes. Eve in jeans and a white button-up top, a child’s brown vest with fringe, and a plastic water gun at her hip. And, of course, a child’s hat on her head. It wasn’t a shock that all of the children’s accessories fit. She was quite tiny. Next to Leo, she did look like a child.

“What a cute cowgirl!” Damián said.

“I’m a cowboy,” Eve corrected.

“Ooh. Sorry. Cowboy. Very handsome.” Damián looked at Leo. “And what are you?”

Leo was in a black suit and a headband with lacy bunny ears poking up. “I’m a modest, male Playboy bunny.”

“Creative! I love it!”

“How was the party?” Alex asked.

“It went well,” Eve said. “We had a good time.”

“I got a free book.” Leo waved around a well-loved copy of Stone Butch Blues. The cover was bent and curling. The spine was cracked. “Eve made me take this one. She said it’d make me a better ally.”

“It will definitely do that,” Damián said. “Keep me updated on your journey.”

Eve flopped on the couch next to Damián. “Did you guys make up?”

“Yeah, we’re okay,” Alex said.

“Did you bail on the office party?”

“Yeah.”

Eve groaned. “You didn’t even complete your scheme. This whole thing is anti-climatic. I’m disappointed in both of you.”

Leo sat on the floor by Eve. He threw off his suit jacket and tie to the floor in a pile, immediately getting scolded by Damián. Leo groaned and complained, but Damián dug his knuckles into the top of his head until Leo gave in and picked them up and laid them nicely over the coffee table.

“How do you even pay Damián for it now?” Eve asked.

“I’ll still pay him what I owe him—if he finally accepts it,” Alex said. He looked to Damián. “Will you take it?”

“Don’t worry about it—“

“No, I will. You still did work. We completed some of the scheme.”

Damián sighed and raised his eyes in thought. It was too much math to think about at the moment without his notes. He didn’t care all that much about getting paid at all. The whole thing was a mess, and he had been more than happy to have seen Alex all those times. The $625 was simultaneously way too low and way too high for the past month. Anyone else would have had to pay at least half by now. But he felt bad taking hundreds of dollars from Alex.

“How about we just keep the planning fee which was, what, $75? And then for the first date with Martin and Sam, it was $100, the other was—you know what, just pay $250.”

“No!” Leo said. “Make him pay in full.”

“We didn’t go to the party!” Damián said. “We didn’t finish the appointment!”

“Yeah, but you don’t do refunds.”

“This is different.” Damián turned to Alex and sighed. “I don’t really care.”

“$250 is fine,” Alex said. He pulled out his phone. “It’s low, though. I hope you know Martin told me how much they paid for you that first night.”

Damián waved his hand. “Friends and family discount.”

“Gross,” Eve said. She slipped to the floor next to Leo. “Family discount?”

“Friends discount,” Damián corrected himself.

Alex sent the $250. Damián’s phone buzzed with the payment.

“Are you guys going to hang out with us?” Damián asked.

“Yeah, my social battery is empty,” Eve said. “I can’t go out in public for another week.”

“Don’t you have your exam tomorrow?” Alex asked. “Don’t you want to study?”

“She’s got it down,” Leo said. “She’ll pass tomorrow.”

“And if I don’t know it by now, I won’t learn it in the next 12 hours.” Eve held up finger guns to Alex.

“Leo, are you staying with us?” Damián asked.

Leo didn’t say anything but nestled against Damián’s legs. Damián reached down and very briefly brushed his fingers against the back of Leo’s hair.

Eve chose the next docu-series. It started like any other. A flashy introduction and a vague introduction to the hometown of the victims and then the place of the crime. A voiceover from a townsfolk who was quickly revealed to the camera sitting in his own home. He looked slightly off-camera. His name appeared in little text in the corner of the screen.

Dave Kehler. Jame’s Neighbor.

“He always seemed like a good guy,” Dave said. Predictable. “He went to church with us every Sunday. He volunteered all the time. He donated to the schools. No one thought that he would do what he did.”

Alex relaxed into Damián’s side, lending some of his warmth that made Damián feel drowsy. Beside and below them, Eve and Leo talked about ordering food. Eve was offering to share her stash of hot chips with Leo. It was sweet. Damián paid attention to them more than he listened to the TV. Leo was asking Eve how spicy she could go, and Eve was boasting about her Taki skills.

But all of a sudden the kids stopped talking and looked at the screen and then at each other. Eve looked back at Alex with wide eyes.

A re-enactment on the TV showed a girl in a haze of lights and music.

“Breanne was drugged at the party and later woke up in the bedroom of James Gailey,” a new woman said. Her credentials said she had been a local police officer. “She reported it to the police as soon as she could, and we set her up with some tests and a rape kit. We asked her who did it, if she could remember anything. And she said it was James Gailey. There was no one else who could have done it.”

“It shocked everyone.” The interview went back to Dave. “We didn’t think of James as that type of man.”

“Can we—“ Damián rubbed the back of his head. “Can we change it?”

Eve grabbed the remote and quickly began scrolling through the family-friendly Halloween section on Netflix. Leo suggested an old Disney movie. It wasn’t something he would ever watch on his own. It didn’t seem like Eve’s cup of tea either. But they were both trying desperately to find something super safe, Damián knew. There were minimal non-consensual scenes in Disney films.

Damián pressed harder into Alex. He widened his hips to knock his leg against Leo.

Alex grabbed his hand. “I wish we could do something,” he whispered. “About that guy. I wish we could report it to someone.”

“I already said just being here with me is enough,” Damián said.

“Sucks that the guy just gets to go on with his life. He gets to go to work on Monday and pretend like he did nothing wrong.”

“There’s nothing we can do. If we want to tell anyone, I’ll have to come clean about the sex work, and then that just gets me in trouble.”

“We could just make the guy’s life miserable,” Eve said.

“Did you know where that guy worked?” Leo asked.

“He was at some blockchain start-up,” Damián said. “He owns it. Or at least that’s what he told me.”

Damián grabbed the arm of his sweater. He’d be okay. He’d be okay. Just talking about the dick wouldn’t bring him back.

“Did he tell you what it was called?” Eve asked, grabbing her laptop.

“No.” Damián was catching on. Eve was going to hunt him down. “But he did say he was an alumnus of Columbia.”

Eve began typing into Google. She sat back and looked at her results. “Okay. So, it turns out there’s a lot of Columbia grads who run crypto start-ups.”

Damián shrugged. “It’s okay. He probably made sure it wasn’t easy to find him.”

But Eve didn’t give up. While Alex turned the movie back on and kept his hand tightly around Damián’s, Damián kept stealing glances at her screen. Leo was on his phone, Googling in circles and falling down rabbit holes of LinkedIn profiles and blockchain websites.

Eve had pulled up every social media site known to man along with Columbia’s alumni page. Her fingers were pounding on her keys. She was opening new tabs and had four separate windows open on her screen at once, each wedged into a corner.

Damián tried focusing on the movie. He tried focusing on Alex’s hand. He tried remembering all of the good things currently in his life.

He had Leo, staying with him through graduate school. He had Alex sitting next to him. He had little Eve right there, too. There were good clients who cared about him—who threatened to admit him to a hospital if he didn’t take care of himself.

He was starting to feel a little hungry, and he felt confident enough to suggest ordering late dinners.

He was going to stay with his new—boyfriend? Partner? Alex. Whatever they were at this point.

But he also kept thinking about what they would do if they did find the guy’s company.

Eve hunched over her laptop and blew up one window to fill the whole screen. Damián squeezed Alex’s hand.

“I think I found him,” Eve said.

She turned her laptop to Damián. Jason was staring at him, his bright blue eyes cutting through the screen. Damián looked away.

“Yeah.” Damián nodded. “That’s him.”

“So, first of all, he doesn’t own the company,” Eve said. She scrolled up on the webpage. “It’s run by this guy. Elias Parkwood. This Jason clown is, like, a step below him, I guess.”

“I’m not surprised he lied,” Leo said. “What does it say about the Elias Parkwood guy?”

Eve scrolled even further up. “That he’s the CEO of the company and is devoted to shaking up the industry. He has links to his email. And I think it’d be a real shame if Elias got an email saying someone saw his employee clearly drugging someone in a bar.”

“Oh no, but that could cost Jason his job,” Leo said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Especially if you provide his boss with the bar’s contact information to confirm that there were witnesses. Or even, I don’t know, the brother’s contact information as well since he was there, too.”

“Aw, that would definitely be awful. Too bad for Jason.”

Eve tapped away for a few more minutes. Damián bit the inside of his cheek. Alex took his hand with both of his.

“Oh shit.” Eve had found Parkwood on LinkedIn. “He’s a SUNY grad.”

“Shiiiiit,” Leo cheered. “That’s fucking wild. We can use that.”

“Maybe ask Damián permission before you do this?” Alex said. “Maybe?”

Thoughtful. That was the Alex Damián knew.

“Do it,” Damián said. “But don’t get your hopes up. I don’t know how many tech CEOs are morally opposed to attempted sexual assault.”

There was no way of knowing if his boss had morals. He could be close friends with Jason. There was a possibility—like Andrew, Stu, and Martin—that it had been planned in a group.

Damián discreetly took a deep breath through his nose.

Eve opened a new window and opened her school email. “What do I say?”

“Here,” Alex held out his hands. Eve passed her laptop to him. “I send a hundred emails a day. How about we say, ‘Mr. Parkwood, I hope this email finds you well. I am a comp sci student at SUNY. I was out the other night at the Rex Hotel’s bar, and there was a disturbing scene. A man at the bar had drugged his date and was attempting to leave with him. The man was stopped, and his companion was thankfully helped by a few of us bystanders. It has come to my attention that this man was your employee, Jason—whatever his last name is.

“’Jason left the bar without his date. His date was confirmed to be drugged by bar staff, bystanders, and his brother, Leo, who I also attend school with at SUNY.

“‘Leo has provided his contact information below as well as the bar’s contact information and hours of operation.

“‘It is concerning to see a SUNY alumnus have an employee attempt what everyone was sure was—was date rape. I am confident you feel the same as many of my peers are looking for positive role models among alumni in the tech industry.

“‘Thank you for your time, Eve, Class of 2026.’”

Damián fixated on the coffee table. There was an old coffee ring on it, stained deep into the wood. He could probably lift some of it off when vinegar if Alex were to let him. He’d let it sit for a few minutes, and there would be a good chance he could wipe some of it away. He could make it less noticeable, but it wouldn’t all come away. It had had too much time to set, probably. It hadn’t been wiped away as soon as the coffee had spilled onto the wood.

“Damián?”

Alex touched his shoulder. He had light freckles over his face. They were sprinkled over his nose and high up on his cheeks. Damián wondered if they would come out more in the summer.

“Is it okay?” Alex asked.

Damián nodded. “Yeah. It’s good.”

Alex passed the laptop back to Eve. She and Leo added the promised contact information.

“Let’s not think about it anymore tonight,” Damián said. “He’s probably not checking his email this late.”

Everyone agreed. Eve closed her laptop and laid it on the floor.

Alex turned to Damián. Their faces were almost touching.

And then, slowly but with no hesitance, Alex closed the space between them with a kiss. It was good. It didn’t heal Damián, but it made him feel good. Better. Loved.

There was a dull but forceful thud to the side of his head. He pulled away and looked around for the source.

“What the fuck, Eve?” Alex leaned forward to glare at his sister.

Eve was holding a throw pillow and glaring back. “You can’t make out on the couch I sleep on.”

Damián rubbed his ear. Leo joined in, complaining to Damián that it was gross to watch them kiss.

“Are you a child?” Damián asked Leo. “You can’t watch adults kiss? Do I need to put parental locks on your computer?”

“Alex, I’m telling mom and dad you were making out in front of me—“

“Eve, I’m 33. You can’t tattle on me for kissing a boy.”

Their voices all overlapped, their arguments rising and shifting in new directions.

Damián quickly found Leo’s pout adorable and switched to cooing, leaning forward to Leo on the floor. He pinched Leo’s cheeks and asked if he was feeling forgotten, if Damián just needed to pay more attention to him. He began baby-talking him in Spanish just like their grandmother had done even into their teens. Leo continued to complain about the kissing, and then about the “abuelita treatment,” and then about the quick pecks Damián was pressing into his cheeks and forehead. But Leo didn’t shove him away or move. He grimaced and fussed but stayed put.

Eve, meanwhile, had reached across Damián and was trying to pull Alex’s hand closer to her mouth to bite him. Alex’s voice was getting frantic as he tried yanking his arm away.

When Damián noticed, he tried breaking them up. Leo began chanting in favor of Eve to bite. One of Damián’s hands was trying to calm him while the other tried releasing Alex from Eve’s grip. She was surprisingly strong, and Damián had to re-adjust to try to pull her entire body away.

The commotion continued to rise. The comfortable warmth Damián had felt before was now sweltering heat from exertion and three people wrestling. Their voices were raising until a neighbor began pounding on the adjoining wall and their shouts turned to laughter.

The movie ended without any of them noticing.

[grindy-cog]

What do you mean by Alex having power Michael? In a dom/sub way? Not judging, just curious.

Dear Anon,

Thank you for your question!

I suppose you could see it in a dom/sub way, though that wasn’t exactly what I was after? Do I think that Michael, despite his rebellious ways, has a clear need of pleasing and - to some extent- obeying those he loves the most? Yes, absolutely. But it doesn’t need to be read in a dom/sub way, sexual or otherwise, though there’s nothing wrong with that take either🤷‍♀️

However, I was more after Guerin pretty much always following Alex’s lead in many ways, and the youngest Manes being more or less the only one to get through Michael when he was being too stubborn, self-destructive or emotional for his own good. Of course, as long as Alex’s own issues and insecurities weren’t hitting too close home, but that’s another matter and not what you asked for.

Now, I don’t know how you’d see it; if the reason behind that behaviour was the fact that Michael definitely fell for Alex first; or if it was related to the sad truth of Alexander being the first person giving a damn about Guerin, Max and Isobel aside. That he knew about, anyway. Or maybe, because he could relate to Alex on many levels, crappy family life included…

If you asked me, I’d say it’s a combination of the three but most of all, Michael’s own personality and how he loves. It’s hidden and unpredictable but once out? Absolutely powerful and fierce and soul and body consuming, like the fire in his blood. But also protective, unashamed and with no way to hide.

I mean, he certainly gave his bastar.d of a father some serious whiplash with how intense he was. How completely unlike him, or even Nora in this way.

And I think Alex, because of his own personality and the way he loves, could have always tamed that fire in Michael a bit; probably even unknowingly at first, made it calmer, quieter, a gentle fire to warm up next to, instead of an unpredictable disaster.

So, in a way, Alex has a power over Michael; always had, always will, and not a bad one, too. But this is why it was such an important and milestone breakthrough moment for Guerin to finally tell Alex ‘no’. It had nothing to do with them not loving each other enough, or not fighting strong enough for one another. It definitely had nothing to do with Maria at that point. It came down to Michael, through his grief and powerful emotions, finally understanding that they both needed to grow first. Unfortunately, separately.

He was right in saying that at that point in their lives, they weren’t good for one another. He wanted to be good for somebody, and Alex wasn’t ready yet, not really. He had to come out of his shell completely first, to let himself get burn a little every once and awhile. Otherwise he’d always end up leaving, and one day, in this way or another, it’d finally be too much for Michael. That would be something they’d never come back from.

Do I wish that we could’ve avoided some unnecessary drama in s2? Heck, yes. But all those strange writing choices and even stranger plot, led to a genuine healing and character’s growth with Malex.

Hope I answered your question and take care!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #37

magic mike. i truly did not expect this to be my final movie of the year. and considering how much i did not like it, it’s pretty funny in retrospect that it was. THIS was how i ended the year? with matthew mcconaughey’s tinsled butt?!?

to be fair to me, i was planning on watching step up after this one, because kayla and i had such a terrible time with it and she’d seen step up before and liked it, and i like dance movies--and i figured we’d maybe fit in even another movie besides. but step up was only available to rent, and i hate renting from amazon when they already charge a membership fee. so it’s on the ‘someday when it comes back to a streaming service list’ and instead i showed her work it (which i still adore as a modern classic teen dance flick).

anyway, this one was not even on my watchlist. but between seeing black panther 2 and the whitney houston biopic, i saw the magic mike 3 trailer twice, and since kayla was with me the second time and she agreed that salma hayek looked fun in it, we decided to give this a try and work our way to the third one. i remembered reading that the cast had been encouraged to improvise, and i knew channing tatum was in it and that i like him (mainly because i watched him and jenna dewan do lip sync battle together while still married, and she made me like him). i knew he was a good dancer, so while i had no need to watch him strip, i figured it’d be adjacent to a dance movie--which as we’ve established up there, i am a fan of in most cases. 

...this was not a dance movie. this movie had no dancing in it. i kept waiting to see channing tatum show off some level of his talent, but it was just a lot of really dull, slow dialogue, almost no plot until the end, and a bunch of dudes stripping. with a yellowed tint to the outdoor scenes that reminded me of california fire season except the movie was in florida. 

now, any reasonable person might ask, what did we expect, exactly, from a movie that is advertised as being about a bunch of men stripping? and yeah, okay, we were the dumb ones who expected some larger plot, good writing, really interesting choreography instead of just a lot of humping and writhing from half-naked actors. 

but so many of the actors are genuinely otherwise talented! this movie has MATT BOMER in it, you guys. he’s given NOTHING to do but he’s there! i was so disappointed. i don’t like joe manganiello but i know others do, and alex pettyfer was famous for a minute--he has the most plot in the movie, but not in a good way. part of how kayla and i convinced ourselves to someday watch magic mike 2 was looking up the plot and learning his character and matthew mcconaughey’s don’t return for it. (like tom hanks and stanley tucci, i just never need to see matthew mcconaughey play the bad guy. i love him too much.)

i do hope to survive the second film someday though, because a dancer @actuallylukedanes​ appreciates is in it, as well as amber heard, and since i  haven’t checked aquaman off my list, i’m still aspiring to see her in something. and i want to know if they let channing tatum dance more in the second one, or let matt bomer do something. besides be a sexy gay stripper man, because i’m not saying he was bad at that. he seemed like was having a blast in the first one. tbh all the guys did. this was clearly a bunch of talented actors enjoying themselves...it just wasn’t fun to watch. though it is now a fun story of our experience watching it! and that can be worth it too. 

one good thing i can say about watching this movie is that it meant i successfully watched 36 movies in 2022--which is more than i’ve watched in previous years of reviewing and checking them off my giant list. so here’s to a 2023 where i hopefully surpass even that. :)