#i want.. to work on myself and end up with. somebody when we're both okay enough

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Explain!

Hopping on this open tag by @oh-no-another-idea (here)!

Imma go with Liam Steele and Dylan Millihan from What Lurks In The Hollow because that WIP is my new obsession/hyperfixation lmao

Okay, here we go!

LIAM STEELE

✨ Image ✨

✨ Song ✨

Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit

It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up Everything is fucked, everybody sucks You don't really know why, but you wanna justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact, and if you interact Your life is on contract Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days It's all about the he says/she says bullshit I think you better quit lettin' shit slip Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip It's all about the he says/she says bullshit I think you better quit talkin' that shit

overwhelmed - Royal & The Serpent

What am I feeling? Can't look at the ceiling The light is so bright It's like I'm overheating This mind isn't mine Who am I to judge? Oh I should be fine But it's all too much I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety creeps inside of me Makes it hard to breathe What's come over me Feels like I'm somebody else I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety keeps me silent When I try to speak What's come over me Feels like I'm somebody else I get overwhelmed All of these faces Who don't know what space is And crowds are shut down

✨ Quote ✨

Liam fidgeted with his charm bracelet for a moment, in a compulsive, anxious rhythm, before taking a deep breath and closing his hands into fists, glaring at the bullies cluttering the street. "I don't think any of you motherfuckers heard me right, so Imma repeat myself - if you don't let go of that damn kid and get the fuck out of my way, I swear to fucking God I will bash your heads on the curb" He gave them a sharp, almost condescending smile, "And that's mostly because you're making me late for the arcade and I don't like that. Does that sound all good or do you need any more goddamn details?"

DYLAN MILLIHAN

✨ Image ✨

✨ Song ✨

Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town And when the rain would fall down I'd just stare out my window Dreaming of what could be And if I'd end up happy I would pray Trying hard to reach out But when I tried to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanted to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I prayed I could breakaway I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And breakaway

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman/Luke Combs

You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove You got a fast car I got a plan to get us outta here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living ... So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

✨ Quote ✨

"Look, none of us asked for this. But whether we like it or not, we're siblings and we're stuck together. More than ever, unfortunately, as much as I loathe to admit it. So we need to make this" He gestures around them, gaze lingering at the, well, still quite decrepit living room of the house, before settling back on Amy, "work out for us, somehow. And we need to stop being at each other's throats all the time - which, by the way, um, I'm..." It seemed physically difficult for him to say the words that were stuck in his throat, but eventually, he sighed and droned out the phrase, earnestly "...sorry for all the stuff I said. I was just really tired and angry, but I shouldn't have said all of that. None of this mess is your fault, and I don't think you're a bad sister, like at all. You're a great kiddo."

Dylan paused unsure of what to say next, but when he noticed that Amy wasn't frowning or sulking anymore but actually smiling softly in agreement, his uneasiness seemed to fade into what could almost be a smile too. "Anyways, let's cut the emotional crap before I feel sick to my stomach more than I already feel. Do you want some more cereal?"

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @wyked-ao3, @topazadine @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid @thecomfywriter

@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @amaiguri

@cherrychiplip @thecomfywriter @thelovelymachinery @bookwormclover

@differentnighttale, @leahnardo-da-veggie

[fullstcp]

"You Might Not Like Her" by Maddie Zahm Sentence Starters

POCKET BIBLE

"He/she/they could've been the best friend I couldn't have."

"Passed out advice, never passed out on drugs."

"I/You carried around judgement and labeled it love."

"I thought I knew how to live exactly right."

"The truth ain't travel sized."

"What's it gonna take to heal a heartbreak?"

"What happens if I kiss a girl/boy for Christ's sake?"

"If I'm getting high, am I mistake?"

"Why'd they start to want me when I lost the weight?"

"Why do I feel better when I don't pray?"

"I must've missed a verse that was vital."

FAT FUNNY FRIEND

"I have to be nice or I'll be the next punchline."

"I'm just the best friend in Hollywood movies who only exists to continue the story."

"The girl gets the guy, while I'm standing off-screen."

"I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief."

"If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?"

"Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?"

"I say 'I'm okay', cause they wouldn't care anyway."

"And I could try to explain, but my effort's in vain."

"I've done every diet to make me look thinner."

"So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior."

"It's funny when I think a guy/girl likes me."

"If I don't answer now, are they still gonna miss me?"

"Life of the fat, funny friend."

IF IT'S NOT GOD

"Be pretty and don't make it look like you're trying."

"When they were wrong, I could never keep quiet."

"I searched for the truth, and had faith that I'd find it."

"I let myself be the liar."

"I never understood some types of love being wrong."

"Something inside me was always steering left."

"What father/mother picks a few just to leave the rest?"

"I heard a voice inside my head, it disagreed."

"So if that wasn't God, well, thank God it was me."

"They called me a sinner when I was a saint."

"I let them call me the liar."

"He'll/she'll/they'll know why I left, why I ran in a hurry."

"Either way I choose, I'm not wasting my life."

"The voice in my head has always been right."

INEVITABLE

"You spent ten years with somebody, didn't end up working out."

"You call me a friend, again and again."

"We could try to resist, to keep our distance."

"We could call this what it isn't."

"This has more push than it ever had pull."

"We're inevitable."

"You look out for me and it scares me."

"Every time I meet someone new face to face, the pieces don't fit the same."

"We both know it's inevitable."

"This was never in our control."

"Can we both admit it's out of our control?"

YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE HER

"It's against everything that we stood for."

"Someday, you'll kiss a girl/boy and you'll panic."

"You'll learn to let people have their opinions."

"Someday, you'll learn to keep your own secrets."

"You'll say you're doing okay and really mean it."

"You'll lose your faith a bit and question if she's/he's/they're you."

"For a while you not like her/him/them, but I do."

"You'll the old you, but here's the deal."

"That good girl/guy you were was really fucking bad at being real."

"They'll love you not despite, but regardless."

"You'll learn to let people have shitty opinions."

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #57 (part two)

Journal Entry #57 (part one) // STORY INDEX

Victor

Just in case anyone was getting the impression that mine and Yuri’s time apart has been completely consumed by thoughts of each other and of Yuri's therapy, let me fill you in on what else I've been doing since I've been back in Willow Creek.

To be fair, Yuri is on my mind a lot, and for the first few days I was here, I felt a little bit guilty whenever I was having fun with my friends or doing something new without him, but I'm feeling better about it now. I talked to Yuri and he said he felt the same way at first, but then he realized what a perfect opportunity he had to spend time bonding with his family.

Despite his initial misgivings about staying with his parents, he seems to be having a good time now, and he's obviously happy. I figured if it was okay for him to feel happy without me, it was also okay for me to feel happy without him. I missed him desperately though. No point in trying to hide that.

Anyway, once I got my head around my "temporary bachelor status", as my cousin Leo put it, I started to relax and really enjoy myself.

Speaking of bachelors, Uncle Stephen, Leo and I have been planning the most epic bachelor party of all time for Julian. We decided on an Italian theme because he and Mom are going to Tartosa for their honeymoon. There's going to be Italian food and music, and everyone's going to be encouraged to wear Italian beach club fashion. Uncle Stephen managed to reserve an event room at the Harbourside Haven with a view overlooking the water. It may be Newcrest, but we're gonna pretend it's a Tartosan beach scene.

At first, I thought it was kind of weird to have a theme, but Uncle Stephen said a lot of people have bachelor parties with themes. I deferred to him because what do I know? Nobody threw a bachelor party for Yuri and me, and this was my first time planning one for somebody else. Uncle Stephen has been involved in organizing at least three — his best friend Matthew's, Uncle JP’s, and my dad's — so that makes him an expert, as far as I'm concerned.

"By the time you get around to planning Leo's bachelor party, you'll be an expert too," he assured me.

Leo wants a superhero theme when his turn comes. Probably no surprise there.

Leo, Ellie and I have been spending as much time together as we can, which probably isn't going to be much of a surprise to anyone either. We've been getting up to our usual nonsense; playing soccer and racing bikes in the park, going to the pool and the arcade, and generally just hanging out, but we've been getting some productive stuff done as well.

I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but Julian moved in with Mom around the beginning of January, like maybe a week or two before my accident. He was originally planning to sell his house, but what ended up happening was that he transferred the title to Ellie instead. What that means is, Ellie gets to live in her childhood home and doesn't have to worry about paying a mortgage since Julian managed to fully pay it off a couple of years ago. At the end of April, Leo moved in there with her, and now they're wholly involved with renovating the place to make it exactly how they want.

They're actually not changing it significantly, but even cosmetic changes require a fair amount of work. They had to hire somebody to install their new kitchen cabinets and appliances, but Leo decided they could do the hardwood flooring in the living room themselves, as well as the painting and redecorating.

And that's where I came in. I might not be very good with electronics, but I definitely know my way around carpentry tools. My mom taught me a lot about home maintenance, so I can measure, saw and hammer with the best of them.

Almost as soon as I arrived, Leo enlisted both me and his sister Kiki to help with the flooring. Ellie and Kiki gleefully ripped out all the old carpet, and then they sanded and cleaned the subfloor. After that, Leo and I got down to business. We got the entire living room done over three days, and it looks fabulous, even if I say so myself.

We're all getting pretty good at painting too. Leo, Ellie, Kiki and I painted Ellie and Leo’s living room, kitchen and bedroom, and then I got them to come over to our new house and help me paint mine and Yuri's rooms, our living room and downstairs bathroom.

Robert and Kim did a bunch of renovations before they put the house on the market, so there’s really nothing much that needed to be changed except the colours of a few walls. The only thing I really want to do besides the painting is to install a jet tub in the upstairs bathroom. Yuri got used to having that at Uncle Kaz's place, and I think he should have one here. It’s very therapeutic for him.

You knew I'd inevitably come back to talking about Yuri, didn't you? Some of you are probably laughing over my inability to keep my mind off him. Go ahead. I don't mind. I'm hopelessly in love with him, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

As a matter of fact, Yuri is the whole reason why I was motivated to record this entry tonight, after kinda forgetting about our journal for almost three months. Now that I’ve gotten all the life updates out of the way, I can get to the really good part. It's the part I maybe should’ve led with, but I guess you’ve all figured out by now that I sometimes like to leave the best stuff till the end.

So, here’s the story. It actually started yesterday evening, when Yuri missed our regular seven o'clock FaceTime chat. By seven-fifteen, I decided I'd better call him. He didn't answer, but I wasn’t overly concerned right away because I thought there might just be something wrong with his iPad, so I texted him instead. I started getting scared when I received no reply to that either, and when I phoned him, I got a robotic-sounding error message that said the customer I was trying to reach had the phone turned off.

At that point, I systematically called everyone I could think of who might know what was going on, but Takahiro, Fox and Sakura had no clue, and the most that Mr. Okamoto's personal assistant Koichi could tell me was that Mr. Okamoto was away on important business for the next several days, which didn’t really help. When I tried to call Yuri's parents, I got the same error message I'd gotten when I attempted to call him.

I tossed and turned in bed all night, and every time I woke up, I sent another text to my husband. By seven o'clock this morning, when I still couldn't reach him, I started scrolling frantically through my phone to see if I had his grandparents' numbers. Somebody had to know something.

I didn't have a number for his grandmother or grandfather, but I did have contact information for his boss, Mr. Tanaka. It was a long shot, but I called him, which may not have been the wisest thing to do. Mr. Tanaka didn't have any idea where Yuri was or what might be happening, and I think I might've caused him to worry with my asking him about it.

Around ten o'clock, I was seriously considering getting online and trying to arrange an earlier flight back to Japan. I'm not even joking.

That was when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. It was a message from Yuri.

You ever hear that phrase 'weak with relief'? I literally was, and I sank down the kitchen floor, nearly crying, with my phone still clutched in my hand.

As if he'd been reading my mind, the message said, «I love you and I'm okay.»

«Where are you?» I texted back with trembling fingers.

He sent, «I’m outside. Are you at home?»

Perplexed and still shaking, I replied, «Yeah. Why?»

«Look out the front window.»

Feeling thoroughly confused, I got to my feet, put my phone back in my pocket and made my way from the kitchen to the dining room so I could peer outside. Parked at the curb was a vehicle I didn't recognize. I took off my glasses so things further away would come into sharper focus, and I think i may have let out a small gasp when I realized who was behind the wheel of the unknown blue minivan.

It was Kenji Okamoto.

I was still forcing my mind to process that when the van's side door slid open and first Yuki and then Yuri climbed out. Mr. Okamoto got out of the driver's side to open the front passenger door for his wife, who was holding baby Kinai.

To say I was shocked would be putting it lightly. During all our daily conversations, Yuri hadn't mentioned anything about him and his family travelling. I could only assume they were here for the wedding, which is coming up in four days, but if they were here for the wedding, that would mean Mom and Julian both knew they were coming as well, and yet nobody had breathed a word about any of it to me.

I should've been upset about that, but I was way too excited over being unexpectedly reunited with Yuri to worry about having been kept in the dark. I mean, real talk here, the sound I made when I saw my husband was a lot louder than a gasp. A second later, I was flinging open the front door and flying down the steps, and he was hurrying to close the distance between us too, arms outstretched for an embrace.

I caught him and spun us both around in a circle right there on the walkway. "Yuri! I missed you!"

"Me too," he said, clinging tight as we completed our big, joyful circle. "I couldn't wait to get here. The last couple of hours, I was getting so impatient I could barely cope with it any more."

"This is why I couldn't reach you, isn't it? You were in a plane."

He was laughing. "Ah... surprise?"

"I was freaking out!" I exclaimed. "Like, I was literally just about to change my flight and everything! You should've known I'd panic when I couldn't reach you. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I'm sorry," he said, as I carefully set him down. "Don't be angry. It was so hard to keep the secret, and I almost let it slip out, but we really wanted to surprise you."

"I'm not angry," I said. "I'm relieved you're okay, and I'm thrilled you're here, but..."

"But what?"

"I thought you couldn't travel," I said. "What about your therapy?"

"We'll only be here for a week," Yuri said. "I'll miss my psychologist appointment this week, and one in-person session with my nutritionist, and a food intelligence class.”

“Can you afford to miss that stuff?”

“I think so,” he said. “The nutritionist scheduled a fifteen-minute video call so I can check in and show her my food diary and talk about any concerns, but she said I’m doing so well that she thinks I’ll be all right even if I miss a full session.”

"So, uh... I guess you're here for Mom and Julian's wedding?"

"Of course," Yuri said. "I promised them I'd play, didn't I? And I've brought my accompanist with me."

Mr. Okamoto laughed at that. "The things I let myself get talked into," he said. "Grace called Yuri about a week ago to ask if he was able to come, or if they should make different arrangements for their wedding music. When he told her he could, she asked if we'd all like to come, and then Julian got on the phone with her and said that if I was coming, I ought to help with the music as well."

"Nothing like being drafted into a project last-minute," I said, amazed that Julian had felt comfortable enough with Mr. Okamoto to even make a request like that. They'd become fast friends when Mom and Julian were in Mt. Komorebi just after my accident, but I didn't think they'd gotten that well-acquainted. I mean, practising a whole set of wedding music with only a couple weeks' advance notice was a huge ask. I'm not sure I'd even ask my best friend in the world to do something like that.

"I don't mind," said Mr. Okamoto, much to my astonishment.

"You don't?"

"Yuri and I hadn't played together in a very long time, and we've been rediscovering how much we like our violin and piano duets. The music isn't that difficult, and we're already familiar with each other's playing style, so I think it'll work out quite well."

"That's...impressive," I said.

"It's an honour for us to play for your parents' wedding."

"I'm grateful to you for agreeing to it," I said, and I totally meant it. One of Yuri's favourite memories that he always talks about is of playing duets with his dad, and I'm glad they've started doing that again. I'm also super happy that Mom and Julian didn't end up having to hire random music students from the local college or something.

I pulled Yuri in for another hug. "And you too, sweet boy. I'm super happy that you... hang on."

"What?" Yuri said.

It'd taken a moment for my brain to register the observation, but it seemed that Yuri felt more solid in my arms than I remembered. "Excuse the change of subject, but have you gained weight?"

I know... not a very smooth question, right? In any other context, it would probably seem rude, but for us it had the complete opposite meaning.

Yuri drew back a little so he could look up at me. His face practically radiated happiness, and his beautiful smile accentuated the new fullness in his cheeks. "You noticed."

I slid my hands down his sides. "I can barely feel your ribs."

"I gained four kilos since you last saw me in person," he told me.

"In three weeks? Really? That's like, more than a whole kilogram per week." I glanced over his shoulder at his parents. "What have you been feeding him?"

From beside her father, Yuki piped up, "Milkshakes!"

"Not just milkshakes." Mr. Okamoto interjected hastily. He seemed to feel the need to be accountable to me, to prove they hadn't been so reckless as to let Yuri subsist on such a limited and arguably unhealthy diet. "He's been trying all sorts of new foods, haven't you, Yuri? But he does enjoy his strawberry milkshakes."

Of course I knew he'd been consuming more than milkshakes, but I acknowledged Mr. Okamoto's explanation with, "I'm glad you've been getting him to try new stuff." And then to Yuri, "Have you tried any other dairy products?"

"Real butter," he said. "And cream of broccoli soup. I didn't like that."

"Because of the broccoli, I guess. What about cheese?"

He made the most adorable face, scrunching up his cute button nose in distaste. "No. Cheese is disgusting."

"Unless it's in strawberry cheesecake," his father commented, looking entertained. "You should've seen him devouring that."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yuri, you ate cheesecake?"

"Mm-hmm, and cinnamon buns and dango. Oh, and ice cream!" Yuri said. "I can't believe I've been missing out on real ice cream this whole time."

“He’s been making up for it,” said Mr. Okamoto. "I've never seen anyone eat so many desserts."

"Well, I guess that explains the four kilos," I said.

Yuri offered up a grin that somehow managed to be simultaneously angelic and cheeky, "Aren't you proud of me, Victor?"

"Very," I said. "Four whole kilograms. That's awesome. You don't want to shoot past your goal, though. I hope you've been eating low-fibre vegetables and healthy proteins along with all your desserts."

"I don't like vegetables," he said.

"You like carrots and squash. I'll make you some carrot soup. That'll be the next thing for you to try, okay?"

"Okay." He leaned into me and nuzzled his cheek against my chest. "I'll eat it on one condition. You need to take me on a date to that ice cream place you're always talking about, with the forty flavours."

I laughed out loud and gave him an affectionate squeeze. I was beyond happy he'd discovered something new that he wanted to eat. "If you're not too tired from the trip, we can go this evening after dinner," I told him. "On one condition."

"Oh? What condition?"

"I know how much you love anything with strawberries, but The Frozen Cone has forty flavours. I really want you to try something other than strawberry."

"Peach?" he ventured.

"Good choice. They probably have that. They usually have orange-pineapple too, and cherry."

Yuri hummed softly, a little sound of satisfaction. "Let's try peach and cherry. I don't want to taste pineapple until we go to Sulani, okay? I want to save that experience for a really special occasion."

"Okay," I agreed.

"If we get a scoop of each kind in a bowl, we can share. Would that be all right?"

"That sounds perfect," I said.

"And you can feed me," he whispered, but evidently not quietly enough to prevent his father from overhearing.

Mr. Okamoto sounded torn between scolding and amusement. "Yuri—"

"One spoonful, because you're cute," I said. "But you'll be on your own for the rest of it. Rules are rules, you know."

"I tried," he said.

"Full marks for effort." I laughed, and kissed the top of his head. "Come on. Let's go inside. I can show you the paint job Leo and I did in your bedroom, and we can give your family the grand tour."

"Our family," he said.

"Our family," I repeated. I nodded to my in-laws. "Come on in."

Mr. and Mrs. Okamoto both thanked me and bowed respectfully, but I think Yuki forgot her manners in her excitement. She bounded forward and grabbed one of my hands. "Yuri said there's a ghost! Can I meet her?"

I smiled. "Well, that'll be up to Sachiko. I think if you call her Kobayashi-san and remember not to use her favourite mug, she'll come out and meet you. Don't be too surprised if she starts making small objects fly around the room, though."

Mrs. Okamoto frowned. "Are you saying the house really is haunted?"

"That's why the asking price was so low," I told her. "Don't worry, though. Sachiko isn't a bad ghost. She's just been here longer than we have, and she thinks it's her place, so her rules should apply."

"I... see," said my mother-in-law.

"What's this about the mug?" asked Mr. Okamoto.

"It's a red one," I said. "It's Sachiko's, and she's very possessive of it. No pun intended."

"Well," said my father-in-law. "A ghost with a mug, a wedding, and my son wanting to go to a forty-flavour ice cream shop. This should be an interesting week."

I couldn't resist a grin. "Family," I said. "Welcome to Willow Creek."

[queermania]

It's so frustrating reading posts like the one prev anon sent because people are so concerned with coddling Jack (and Cas) and assigning them emotions and thoughts (that often contradict what they actually express in canon) that they end up doing the exact thing to Dean that they're accusing other people of doing to Jack.

yeah. somebody (i think it might've been @jewishdeanwinchesterwinchester ?) said something recently that kind of hit the nail on the head for me: a lot of people are analyzing this show as if it's just a family drama and not a fantasy show with completely unimaginable stakes. i think that's fairly accurate and why we're never going to come to an agreement about what's happening. i mean, the truth is that i can't even always come to an agreement about what's happening with myself.

for example i have a hard time discussing and parsing the fallout of s14 because it's kind of baffling to me?? jack is resurrected, still without a soul, but is now completely in control of his emotions and therefore his powers so....???? it's like the only point of making him dangerous in s14 was to cause conflict, which... is how tv works but is so internally inconsistent that it's very frustrating. i guess you can argue it was chuck's doing and since chuck doesn't know jack's been resurrected, he doesn't know to make jack out of control? i don't know.

but jack is resurrected and does his whole eating angel hearts thing and when cas finds him, he brings him back to the bunker. which, is a sticking point for a lot of people—that jack should've under no circumstances been brought back to the bunker, and like, in theory i agree with that. in theory i don't think you should bring an emotionally vulnerable kid back to the home of people who wanted to kill him. but in the high stakes fantasy show, that's not how it's presented at all. in the show, jack wants to be there. he says, "every day I wanted to come home" but he couldn't because of billie and chuck stuff.

but all of this is like okay well he still doesn't have a soul so he has no real grip on the severity of the situation, nor does he have any real emotions about what happened. of course he would want to go back to the only home he's ever known. but then when he does get his soul back, his anguish isn't over what the winchesters did to him. it's that he killed mary. like... he is horrified by his own actions and ultimately kind of agrees with the winchesters? and if this were just a family drama, i would think that's horrifying, but as it is it's just like ah yes you were raised by the three dumbest of asses, all of whom reinforced bottom of the barrel ideas about self-worth. this tracks.

and i personally think dean and jack understand each other in a way that nobody else really does. like, i think jack could've put michael!dean in the box and it would've been an act of love and dean would've recognized it as such and been grateful for it. and i don't think jack expects an apology from dean about what happened in s14 because he doesn't think dean needs to apologize. i'm not saying i agree with that, mind you. but ultimately, in a post-canon world, i don't think 'moriah' is an obstacle for them, because they both view it the same way. i think a discussion (and apology) about 'unity' and the widower arc would be a lot more productive.

anyway, all of this is to say that s15 is an emotional free for all with no real resolution for anyone but it is also still the monster god hunting show so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[insistonyourcupofstars]

Assign a Taylor Swift song to Boyd Crowder 🥰

Oh, justie, what have you done. It is impossible for me to do just ONE song for Boyd, so instead, I'll do one song from each album 💛

[Edit: 1989 and Lover I couldn't figure out, but I did the rest lol. annnnd we're just going to ignore the "one per album" rule because I couldn't contain myself]

Debut: "Cold As You"

I mean...

"You put up the walls and paint them all a shade of gray // And I stood there loving you, and wished them all away // And you come away with a great little story // Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you"

I'm just thinking about teen!Boyd and his growing feelings for Raylan, just for Raylan to leave Harlan and Boyd, when it all became too much. That and the frustration of being kept like a secret when Boyd kept him like an oath...

Fearless (Taylor's Version): "Change" and "You're Not Sorry"

Again, teen!Boyd is something that can be so personal.

"And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you // Somebody else gets what you wanted again and // You know it's all the same, another time and place // Repeating history and you're getting sick of it // But I believe in whatever you do // And I'll do anything to see it through"(Change)

AND

"Looking so innocent // I might believe you if I didn't know // Could've loved you all my life // If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold"(You're Not Sorry)

Do you ever just think about how bitter and lonely Boyd must have been as a kid?? I always picture him as those lone wolf kind of kids, no one wanting to mess with Bo Crowder's enigmatic boy. But he finally finds a friend, builds a relationship, a friendship, a bond, and what does his friend do? He leaves. He does what Boyd can't, and Boyd resents him. AHHHHHH!!!!

Speak Now: "Haunted" and "Story of Us"

"Stood there and watched you walk away // From everything we had // But I still mean every word I said to you // [Sh]e will try to take away my pain // And [sh]e just might make me smile // But the whole time I'm wishing [sh]e was you instead" (Haunted)

Something something Boyd is moving on to Ava because she is an unsevered tie between him and Raylan...

"And you're doing your best to avoid me // I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us // How I was losing my mind when I saw you here // But you held your pride like you should have held me" (Story of Us)

1.01 BOYD!!!

Red (Taylor's Version): "Run"

It's giving Ava/Boyd feels...

"There's been this hole in my heart // This thing was a shot in the dark // Say you'll never let 'em tear us apart // And I'll hold onto you while we run (and we run, and we run, and we run) // Like you'd run from the law (and we run, and we run, and we run)"

1989: ----

sorry, I don't think 1989 fits with Boyd at all.

Reputation: "I Did Something Bad"

I, personally, like to think of "he" as Bo, especially considering how Boyd was with him in season one. Boyd would do anything to stick it to Bo, and that is exactly what this song is about.

"I never trust a narcissist // But they love me // So I play 'em like a violin // And I make it look oh so easy // 'Cause for every lie I tell them // They tell me three // This is how the world works // Now all he thinks about is me"

Lover: ----

idk.

Folklore: "exile," "seven," and "hoax"

1. do I say ava/boyd or raylan/boyd?? neither - it's a boyd&johnny song

"I think I've seen this film before // And I didn't like the ending // You're not my homeland anymore // So what am I defending now? // You were my town // Now I'm in exile, seein' you out" (exile)

2. Okay, so canon kind of confuses me on how long Raylan and Boyd have known each other, so this could go into headcanon territory, but imagining little Boyd trying to comfort little Raylan because they both have shit fathers, and they want to run away together to be pirates :(((

"And I've been meaning to tell you // I think your house is haunted // Your dad is always mad and that must be why //And I think you should come live with // Me and we can be pirates // Then you won't have to cry // Or hide in the closet // And just like a folk song // Our love will be passed on"(seven)

3. "hoax" reminds me of Boyd after Bo murders his group in season one, and I like to think of this as Boyd losing his faith in God.

"Stood on the cliffside // Screaming, "Give me a reason" // Your faithless love's the only hoax // I believe in // My only one // My kingdom come undone // My broken drum // You have beaten my heart" (hoax)

Evermore: "cowboy like me" -> this feels too obvious, is there an edit for this yet??

I mean, this is just Boyd and Raylan through the series.

"And the skeletons in both our closets // Plotted hard to fuck this up // And the old men that I've swindled // Really did believe I was the one // And the ladies lunching have their stories about // When you passed through town // But that was all before I locked it down"

Midnights (3am edition): "Midnight Rain"

It's about how Boyd is an ever-evolving chameleon, and Raylan refuses to change himself, sticking out like a sore-thumb

"My town was a wasteland // Full of cages, full of fences // Pageant queens and big pretenders // But for some, it was paradise // He stayed the same // All of me changed like midnight"

[tvrningout-a]

5, 10 & 18 for the mun meme?

send me a number to talk about! | @vonerde sent some numbers!

5. dash commentary

i really enjoy it! i don't write it very much myself bc i get kinda nervous trying to think of what to say on the spot, which might sound silly asdf but i like reading everyone going back and forth on the dash! it's nice when rp can be silly and lighthearted. we're here to have fun, and i feel like dash commentary is part of that!

10. anons

anons are either so lovely or you wanna punt them, and it's a shame that the latter group ruins the fun for everyone else. anon is nice bc sometimes you wanna brighten someone's day or send them encouragement, but you feel awkward bc you haven't spoken -- anon eliminates that barrier! or maybe you wanna send something silly and bug somebody's muse, but you don't wanna reveal it's you. there's bunch of harmless fun that can be had if people will just behave uvu i don't think i'll ever understand the compulsion to insult somebody instead of just blocking and moving on.

18. shipping

i love shipping to bits!! to pieces!! i'm pretty laidback about it, too, so long as you're willing to discuss the relationship with me. assuming a ship between our muses without asking first?? no thanks. asking to plot out a ship bc you think our dorks would be cute together?? heck yeah <3 i'm always willing to explore different dynamics, even if we're relatively new mutuals. it just comes down to how you act -- if you're respectful ( and most people are ), then i'm down to write the mushy stuff with you! and ofc there's never any hard feelings if our characters end up not clicking bc tbh? not every relationship works out, and that's okay! that being said, whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, i really enjoy relationships that push each character to grow in some way :' )) i want characters to challenge each other as much as i want them to be each other's safe place. both platonic and romantic relationships take work, and the work is the part i enjoy most, i think. it's right up there with fluff and hurt/comfort &lt;3 also!! even though i'm laidback with shipping, i can be really nervous about suggesting a ship bc i fear upsetting someone asdfg please bonk me on the head and ask for a ship if you want one bc i've probably thought about it already :' )

[wisteria-lodge]

burnt lion primary (bird model) + bird secondary

Hi! I love your Tumblr and your posts about shc but for some reason, I still can't figure out what my sorting is (probably because of how much I'm overthinking it...) so hearing what you have to say would mean a lot and really help me out.

First, I'll start with primaries. For Badger Primary I do somewhat care for others but I feel like it always has something to do with the rules I made for myself from my experiences. For example, I had some kind of rule in my head which was like "You have to befriend new kids at school because you always used to think that people should come up to others who are alone because you didn't have any friends before."

"Make rules in my head, and then act accordingly" usually means Bird...

I also used to think I was a Snake Primary because of how much I think I'd be loyal to my people but now I think I might be one of the Idealist houses because I've found it pretty easy for me to let go of the friends I had in school because of how I was treated by them but also because of not agreeing with them on particular things that are part of my morality and ideals.

Yeah, I'm thinking Idealist too.

I think I could be a Lion Primary because of how stubborn I can be

Stubbornness can honestly come from a lot of places, both primary and secondary. More data is needed.

with the ideals I have especially with the rules I made for myself when I was younger. However, I'm also leaning towards Bird Primary because of the rules I made for myself to go on with life and also because of how much I research things then doubt it then check again then feel bad about going on with life without making sure if it was right or not. I do become guilty when I'm not 100% sure if something I'm doing is wrong or right morally if I read it was not okay somewhere.

Okay, your system building is sounding a little frantic here. Research → Double Check → (feel bad if you don't) Triple Check → try to get unanimous consensus. We're either looking at a slightly exploded Chidi-style Bird primary, or something else. Possibly a Bird primary model.

But actually, I feel like in the end if I don't go with how I feel about something I'd be pretty upset

Like, you think you hypothetically would be pretty upset, or you ARE pretty upset if you don't go with gut feeling?

(except for now cause I keep doubting how I feel about things but I also don't know if how I feel is reliable enough if that makes sense.)

It's actually very possibly you're a kinda Burnt Lion primary. Burnt Lions often look like really stressed out Birds.

As a kid, doing things I didn't feel I wanted to do enraged me so much more than bothering somebody. For instance, once someone got me to wake my mom up for something which wasn't a big deal. But I felt like I shouldn't so I didn't want to do it and when I did I felt worse that I was right and I still let them make me do it - rather than being upset about getting my mom mad from waking her up from her sleep.

I think you're e a Lion primary. This example - of being pissed at listening to other people instead of yourself when you knew you were right, and then being angry at yourself afterwards, instead of at the people who gave you the bad data, or sad about hurting someone you loved... that feels VERY relatable, and VERY Lion.

Ok, I think that's all I have for Primaries so now I'll start with the secondaries. I honestly think I might be a burnt secondary because I just can't figure out for the life of me which one of these I value and comes naturally.

Like I think I might not be a Badger secondary because I think I care about the end result more than the work. If I worked hard on something and didn't achieve the result I'd feel pretty bummed out but I also do see why it's necessary to work hard so you can achieve your goals I'd just rather not work too hard because I'm worried if I do then I fail that'll mean I wasted my life for nothing.

You have a perfectionist streak. It's showing up in the way you write about your primaries too, and I don't have to tell you that perfection is not an attainable goal. You've got a "If I do not try then I cannot fail" thing going on, and *yeah* that's evidence of a Burnt secondary. The Badger secondary wisdom is that it's not a binary - some work is better than no work at all, and it all adds up.

(I do agree that you're probably not a Badger secondary though.)

Now for Bird secondary, I think I might have it as a secondary because I tend to plan every scenario in my head that could happen when I'm anxious/scared of doing something or when I know I have to think it through etc.

This could be Bird secondary. It could also be a Bird secondary model used as a coping mechanism (very common) or just like... catastrophizing.

I'm also not sure if this is a Bird secondary thing or something else but I remember a time when I did tell myself to make sure of one thing I should do when I was about to confront someone about not sending her part in the group project which was that I just had to make sure I don't sound rude just in case I'd have to complain to my teacher about it and show her the messages that were sent

That slightly calculated move... probably isn't Lion, but could be any of the others

but I improvised the rest when I realized she'd lied to me about working on it and I got mad (so I don't know if that's improvisation or prep work secondary).

You could be an improvisational, in-the-moment secondary. Getting mad that someone lied to you is just a human thing though.

For Snake secondary, I hate being vulnerable in front of others including my loved ones. I tend to get scared of letting people know every side of me, especially a side of me that would make me feel less safe.

Huh. There's a part of you that feels unsafe? That's not Snake specifically. I'm not sure what that is. I'll put a pin in that, hopefully it makes more sense later.

I also do like the idea of finding creative solutions to things for example when I was a kid I used to find it dumb when like someone tells someone the truth about something when it's obviously going to get them or others hurt. I also did create a mask when I was younger that I still kind of use when I go to school which is the nice and shy student because it has helped me out a lot and I honestly haven't been able to get out of it because of how long I've been in the school I'm in

Hmm. This sounds like either a Snake secondary, or a fluid Actor Bird. And I'm... sort of leaning more Actor Bird. Nice!Shy!You is your constructed mask, your tool for specific situations (not something you tend to fall into around a specific person.)

but I'm also thinking about moving out because my school has lowered my confidence in using my social skills because of how I present myself there so I think it'd be better to go someplace else as a more confident person or something like that, I don't really know.

That kind of conscious social calibration is very much a Bird secondary thing. The idea that you think 'go someplace else, construct a more confident persona' would even work says Bird to me.

Also when I was younger some teacher did end up telling people that I was a "bad kid" at home because my mom probably told her how much louder I am at home which made me terrified so that might also be a snake thing I'm not really sure. I just have a problem with letting people know more about me cause I feel they could use it to their advantage at any moment.

It sure seems like you've got a lot of anxiety. Not to armchair diagnose. Just... I hope you have someone you can talk too. No one's out to get you. The scary (but also wonderful) truth is that no one cares what you're doing that much. It's hard being vulnerable, but it's worth it.

Enough about that, now for Lion secondary I think I might be one because I have sometimes wished that I'd do what I felt was right rather than what was best for the external situation

I think you're a Lion *primary.*

but I also do tend to get upset at others when they do that because then it creates disagreements and arguments that I don't want to be involved in. I don't know if I'm okay with being "misrepresented" or not because I still don't really know who I am but I definitely wouldn't like people to say that I'm something that's against my principles. However, I do have trouble with deciding if I should sacrifice my outward integrity or not (which I read was a Lion primary thing) because I do value sticking to your outward integrity and not caring what other people will think about it. Thank you so much for reading this and sorry if nothing I wrote helped because I feel like I rambled about everything that's been stuck in my head here.

There's a lot of fear in this ask. A lot of it is directed inward - you must do all the research (you can never do all the research.) You must be perfect (you can never be perfect.) You can't be vulnerable (if you are you'll frighten people.) It seems like a stressful way to live, and no wonder you don't trust your Lion primary. You don't trust yourself.

If there's any burning in this ask, it's coming from your primary, not your secondary. You've got a pretty robust Actor Bird secondary - which is a little constricting maybe, but you've got it under control. Get better at trusting yourself, little baby steps, and I think that will make it much easier to trust other people. All this is so heartbreakingly relatable, and there is nothing I see in you that is frightening or broken.

[umemiyan]

i’m interested in you and toji, sweet dahlia!! 😠❤️‍🔥

u are so very sweet and i thank you for sending these!!!!! <33 i've been thinking about them instead of working LMAO i'm so long-winded sry 😪

😠: what's the worst fight you've had?

okay okay so i feel like we squabble often on a relatively surface level but one of our biggest fights probably happened during the process of us trying to determine what we actually were to each other. things with us didn't exactly start out with the intention of 'oh yes we're both looking for a relationship let's go out and date and see where things go!!' because, well… he's toji, and i'm me. i was not really interested in getting involved with somebody and neither was he, but he likes to bounce around between women and get his dick wet ofc.

anyways. cue the attachment eventually settling in after a while of messing around. he's still somewhat in the mindset of 'this is not that serious' because he's in denial, and i'm not exactly wanting to toss labels on things because i get fucking horrified lmao but at this point i'm like 'i need to know kind of what the fuck is going on. do i need to expect something from you or learn to let you go when this thing is over soon?'

bringing the topic up makes him go cold on me because a) he's scared of declaring any sort of legitimate feelings and commitment and b) is also a little afraid of the fact that i can cut him off at a moment's notice (because he secretly doesn't want me to). so it's easier for him to be a dick and try and shut it down first. but he still wants pussy (and emotional fulfillment) and tries to hit me up afterwards, to which i get very pissed and make it clear that i'm not his little toy and i'm sure there are plenty of other girls who would like to fill that role.

he thinks that coming over to my place will change my mind but we just end up arguing because i won't back down and it's either going to force him to leave me alone for good or admit that he wants to be with me.

and guess what 😌

❤️‍🔥: how do your love languages differ?

this is a good question!!!!! so i am a HUGE 'quality time' gurl because i spent the majority of my childhood/life alone and even though i also weirdly love being by myself, it means the world to me when people close to me show me they love me by spending uninterrupted time with me.

i feel like toji can also be like this to a degree, like just chilling and being there with him is enough, but he also has a physical touch love language. it's not exactly lovey dovey mushy gushy up in my face hugs n kisses (tho he does get super horny and grope-y at times), but more like a firm squeeze of the knee, thigh, or cheeks, an arm around my waist or hand against my back sometimes. i usually don't like being touched that much but it grows on me fairly quickly even if i get grumbly sometimes

i don't think he goes overboard on possessive body language in public because just his intimidating presence is often enough lmao, but sometimes he'll just unabashedly do horny shit even if he just scolded me for doing the same thing like 30 mins ago.

also!!! i can be a bit of a gift giver at times which probably makes him go '????' because he doesn't exactly know how to react at first. but he gets more used to it over time lol

self-ship questions

[revvethasmythh]

In response to your Fearne/Chetney song post: Consider this ask an opportunity to pick any playlists you have and ramble about them, I absolutely love discovering new music through playlists!

yes EXCELLENT thank you!!

okay to keep myself on task so I don't just ramble for like 5k words, I'm going to treat this a top 10 list and this is going to specifically be for my widobrave playlist because she is my baby and I've been working on her for a long time and you know what? the wb tag deserves a little love. I'm going to try to spotlight different songs than I talked about before, too, for diversity's sake

this is absolutely going to get long, so I'll put the rest under the cut.

1: I And Love And You, The Avett Brothers

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. What is there to say that the song does not say itself? There are a few ways I think this song could be interpreted depending on how you're reading the lyrics, but the line "that woman she got eyes that shine/like a pair of stolen polished dimes" is so fucking good and so Veth this will always be a top song for me. Also need to shout out the "the dream's the catch/the world's the cage" line in this one, because that has always made me think back to Heart in a Cage--I consider them related in my own personal widobrave lyrical thematic universe. Verdict: The vibes are excellent. The Avett brothers always pull through for me

2. Summertime, MCR

obviously this was going to show up in wb song list for me because I named one of my fics after this song! I've always associated summer with wb anyway, but the additional layer of the summer camp and that being a time they specifically spend together in post-canon makes it even better. "You can run away with me any time you want" also follows through on the "runaway" theme that they've both had on their separate playlists (Runaway by Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Caleb's first playlist and Runaway Pt. 1 (Love Has Limits) by Colony House on the Veth playlist).

3. Who Will I Hold, The Avett Brothers

I am screaming and crying and throwing up every time this song comes on. Listen to their one-on-one talk in episode 121 and then listen to this song. The lyrics are so remarkably accurate, it's a thing to behold. "I'm bracing for loneliness, I know it's coming/Now, who will I hold when you're gone?"

4. Hand Over Heart, Gin Wigmore

Melancholy and loving and again incredibly accurate lyrics from "and promise me, day and night/you'll always be my best friend" to "you got the magic to light up the stars/it's like the world is spinning just for you."

5. Not Alone, Shawn James

Very tender song that resonates a lot with wb, and also so very reminiscent of what Veth told Caleb in the finale with the line "Listen close and hear/I want you to let go of your fear/You can find love/Let go of your strife and get what you want out of your life." Like, I think there's a gifset out there somewhere where she basically just says this to Caleb.

6. I Will Follow Him, Peggy March

Okay so this one IS from the first Nott playlist, but I don't see it talked about very much and tbh if you're listening to it from the pov of having seen the end of the campaign, this one just hits different. Shoutout to the "he'll always be my true love" lyric. Like WHAT. The way that song was on an official CR playlist and no one ever talks about it, I'm--

7. Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise, The Avett Brothers

A third Avett Brothers song, you say?? Why yes, indeed. Their songs just really hit for this ship with me. I consider this song to mostly be a Veth song, revolving a lot around Veth's self-doubt issues, but if we're following Rosie's Lyrical Thematic Universe (RLTU), this lyric, "There was a dream and one day I could see it/Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it" stands out a lot. Like the song progression of Heart in a Cage -> I And Love And You -> Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise is what I'm getting at here. "Oh, the heart beats in its cage" to "The dream's the catch/The world's the cage" to "Like a bird in a cage I broke in a demanded that somebody free it." The caged bird thing is HUGE thematically with me and which I think is really funny because it's literally just ME out here with these hyper specific themes and motifs going on. But I love it, I think it works great for them

8. If U Stayed, ZZ Ward

You come to this song for pure angst and pure angsty only. If you want to feel angsty about the fact that they're non-canon, this is the song for you.

9. December Song, Birdtalker (of Blue Healer fame) and Joy Williams (of Trouble With Wanting fame)

"Friend your heart has been far away from mine/There's no one to blame but that wicked stalwart time/And as the year marches steady to its end/Oh, my heart is longing to be close to yours again"

I've been wanting to write a post-canon holiday themed piece based around this song for AGES. the details aren't perfectly accurate, but the vibes are very much there.

10. Lead to Light, Nico Vega

No song list/playlist of mine is ever complete without at least ONE Nico Vega song. The themes of, well, "I will drop anything for you" ring very true, but my favorite line is the bridge: "Oh my love, you know you are a teacher/But you don't know I can be a teacher, too." I appreciate it on one level as inherently suggestive, but extremely literal in the case of late widobrave with Veth opening up her camp to teach adventurers, especially since she had said she wasn't a good teacher sometime in the early campaign.

Honorable Mentions:

1: So Sorry Mama, Whitney Duncan

The details of this song do not match up with canon, HOWEVER, I am 100% certain Veth (lover of monsters and of bad boys) has had at least one, if not more, fantasies re: Caleb that sound exactly like this. So I'm including it because I am sure that she'd had this vision at least once in a dream

2. If We Were Vampires, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

I'll admit this one is highly specific to me, which is why it's in the honorable mentions section, because I'm pulling a lot of the themes of this song for the post-canon wb piece I'm working on right now. It's also just a very bittersweet, tender song that is so, so good about loving someone for as long as you can and making those days count

A bonus Veth-specific honorable mention:

Whiskey Fever by Dorothy. It's not all that deep of a song rec, but it's pretty accurate and it slaps. This song fucking slaps.

A bonus Caleb-specific honorable mention:

Innocent by Taylor Swift. Never thought I'd choose a T. Swift song for him, but it so eerily accurate to his story. Could double a wb song, but I largely relate it to Caleb due to its subject matter.

if anyone was actually curious, I'll just add the full playlist here for perusal sake because there's A LOT more on there, these are just my personal favorites:

[betaamity]

tbh i just

want to hope for a better future but im scared its either bad things i hope for or i jus. will be judged greatly for saying them

[l1tw1ck]

Heizou and the Dad He'd Like to Fuck

Your neighbor Heizou decides to pay you a visit

FTM!Heizou x Top!Male Reader

Warnings: Non-Con Somnophilia, Oral, Creampie, Age Gap (Reader Age Unspecified), Daddy Kink

Words: 1,323

"Oh, Heizou? What brings you here?" You open the door to your neighbor. He was wearing a very cute outfit, a loose white tank top and brown booty shorts. If you looked at him from the side, you could see a part of his tits. He apparently wasn't the type to wear bras.

"I know you're alone during the day so I wanted to give you some company! I made you something...it's my own special recipe," Heizou smiles and shows you the dish he made. "I call it The Only Truth."

"It looks great, I appreciate that you're thinking of me Heizou. Come in." You step out of the doorway, allowing Heizou to come in. You lead him to the table and go into the kitchen to look for the right utensils to eat it.

"How have you been?" You ask, sitting across from Heizou.

"I've been great! I'm actually the top of my class." Heizou grins smugly.

"Congrats!" You clap. "I can't wait til my kids get to college." You sigh happily.

"Thanks, I wonder what major they'll choose." Heizou smiles at your expression.

"This is amazing, Heizou! You're a great cook!" You praise him. "That's a good skill to have y'know? Especially when you get married, you gotta pull your weight."

"Y- yeah. Thank you.." Heizou blushes.

"I'm not the greatest cook myself, my husband is the one who cooks here. I make up for it with my job though." You laugh. You didn't work everyday but you got paid very well.

Heizou smiles.

The two of you continue talking and end up watching TV on the couch. You got yourself a few cans of beer, it was very early for you to be drinking but you were feeling stressed.

"(Name), is everything okay?" Heizou asks.

"Yeah....no..." You shook your head.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna bother you with it. You're only 19, you don't wanna hear an old man like me vent."

"I do, just tell me." Heizou insists.

"Alright..." You sigh.

"Me and my husband haven't been getting along lately. We're really only together for the kids. I want a divorce but it would hurt our kids. My husband sleeps in the guest room now." You take a big sip of your drink. "I know it's bad to stay together with the kids but the both of us have traits our kids can't live without. He cooks and I work. His job doesn't pay enough to properly support the kids."

"I see.." Heizou hides a smile. "If you were to get a divorce, would you have full custody?"

"I'd want to but they'd have to eat my shitty cooking everyday." You laugh.

"I could cook for them."

"You're a college student, you should focus on that instead. Not somebody else's kids."

"If I lived here though...I live alone so it'd be nice to be around a family."

"Why would you want to?"

"Because I like you." Heizou leans towards you.

You look at him in shock. I mean, sure you had a few passing sinful thoughts about Heizou but you never wanted to indulge in them. The age gap kept you away.

"Heizou-"

"I know we haven't known each other long but I really do like you." Heizou goes in to kiss you, locking your lips together.

And maybe it was because you were feeling upset and had 2 cans of beer, but you found yourself kissing him back.

Heizou moves his hand past your thigh, palming your crotch.

"Mm- Hey-" You put your hand on his wrist.

Heizou frowns. "Why?"

"Kissing is where I draw the line, okay? You're just too young." You move his hand away.

"I'm an adult! I live alone, how am I too young?" Heizou huffs.

"Maybe in a few years but I just can't date a 19 year old. It's not right."

"How? I don't understand...This is perfectly legal!"

"It's not right to me, I'm sorry. I think you should go home." You stand up.

Heizou sighs and reluctantly leaves the house, not without secretly swiping the extra key though.

──────────────────

*Both of you are whispering i just dont wanna italicize all of it sorry*

Heizou sneaks into your house late at night, knowing you'd be there asleep. He knows all too well how illegal his entire plan is but he doesn't care. It's not like he's going to murder you.

He creeps into your room and quietly makes his way onto your bed. He thanks the Archons for your bad marriage.

He pulls down your pants and underwear, freeing your soft dick. He spits on his hand and jerks you off to full size, he was practically drooling at the sight.

He licks the tip of your dick, taking in the taste and smell of your pre cum, before he sucks you off.

You weren't too heavy of a sleeper so you eventually woke up to Heizou's head bobbing up and down on your dick.

"What the-" Your words are cut off by a low moan forcing its way out of your mouth.

Heizou reluctantly removes his mouth from your dick and looks up at you. "You're awake.."

Yeah, and incredibly horny. You had an erection that needed to be taken care of and you were so damn worked up and tired you decided to use Heizou to do it.

You pulled Heizou up and pinned him down on the bed. You took his shorts off with ease. The dim light that shone from the curtains revealed Heizou's ecstatic expression.

"Yes!" Heizou pulls his shirt off then his underwear. He was dripping wet, he even had slick on the inner part of his thighs.

"You're a whore, you know that?" You line your dick up to his hole.

"I'm a whore!" Heizou nods. "Please fuck this slutty little whore daddy!"

You were glad your kids never called you that.

"Don't you dare complain, got it?" You started to ease yourself into him.

"Mm- yes daddy~" Heizou nods, biting his lip to hold back his moans.

"Fuck- you're tight." You groan, stopping and giving Heizou time to adjust.

"Move, please."

"'S gonna hurt."

"Please daddy." Heizou pouts. "I won't complain at all."

"Fuck. Fine." You grip onto his waist, thrusting into him like there's no tomorrow. Heizou covers his mouth, his small tits moving along with your thrusts. You regretted rejecting him earlier.

"Mmph~!"

You hated that you couldn't hear his moans but there was no way in hell you were going to stop and change locations.

"You're doing so good." You groan. "Just like that, taking me so well."

Heizou bites his hand, holding back a loud moan.

"You're so much fucking better than my husband." You praise Heizou. "He rarely had sex with me. You're so perfect compared to him..."

He bites harder, he's so happy but he has to be quiet.

"I could make you into my wife. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Your hand trails up to Heizou's chest, your thumb circling his nipple.

Heizou nods his head rapidly.

"I'd fuck you all the damn time." You lean into his ear. "You'd be my little bitch."

"D- da~ daddy~" Heizou manages to speak quietly. "Cu- cu-" He covers his mouth again as he feels his orgasm quickly approaching.

"Slut." That one word is enough to have Heizou's back arching as he has the most intense orgasm he's ever had. He squirts all over the two of you.

"Fuck-" You feel your own orgasm coming after witnessing that. "I'm close."

Heizou wraps his legs around you, making sure you don't go anywhere.

"You want me to- fuck-" You couldn't hold it in anymore, you shoot your load into him.

"Mm~" Heizou removes his hands and grins.

You pull out and flip Heizou over, lifting his ass up and watching as your cum drips down onto your bed. You'll clean the sheets in the morning.

"Daddy?" Heizou looks back at you, confused.

"What? You thought that was it?" You smirk. "I'm gonna pound you til the sun comes up."

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲❞ ─ 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝

but when he loves me i feel like i'm floating

when he calls me pretty i feel like somebody

❥ content ; little gn reader, sfw agere, corpse is a cg, mostly fluff with a smidge of angst

❥ warnings ; daddy issues, childhood trauma, hints of emotional & verbal abuse and of course age regression if ur uncomfy w that stuff. also pet names and the use of the word "daddy" but not in a sexual/smutty context!!! agere is not a kink!!!

❥ synopsis ; you age regress to cope and corpse takes care of you through it all

❥ a/n ; i got a request to write this agere fic a couple months ago on my wattpad! i myself used to be a part of the agere community but it has been years so i forgot a lot of what i learned. however, unlike age play and cgl, agere is just a coping mechanism and totally nonsexual!! pls do ur research before u attack members of the agere community (: ur coping mechanisms are valid!!!

With a frustrated groan, you push yourself away from your desk, now spinning slowly on your little office type chair.

You had procrastinated and hadn't done any of your work, and even when you did try to finish it, you were easily distracted or discouraged by intrustive thoughts.

Your mind would never fail to drift back to memories of when you were younger. However, those memories weren't exactly fond or anything you'd even want to remember.

Yet they were there, either popping up unexpectedly or lingering in the back of your unconcious mind.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt two strong arms wrap around you, causing you to nearly jump out of your seat.

Corpse hummed. "Are you done with your work yet, darling?"

"Can't finish it.. My brain doesn't wanna co-operate with me today, or ever," you whine, feeling angry tears begin to form behind your waterline.

Corpse sensed the anxiety and frustration in your voice and immediately knew the cause.

"You're not a failure, Y/N. Your father was wrong, and you know it."

"Yeah, but hearing his words in my head don't exactly help when I'm trying to work."

"I know, baby, I know," Still not letting you free from his embrace, Corpse held your significantly smaller hands in his. "But he's not here. It's just me, doll. You're safe."

He knew what he was doing. And he knew that you knew.

You pulled away from his hold, now standing up to face him. He as well stood up to his full height, looking down at you with soft, comforting eyes.

"A-Are you sure I can..?" You ask timidly, looking down at the floor to avoid his gaze. He nods encouragingly.

"Of course, doll. I'll take care of you."

He brings his hand to caress your face and tilts it upwards so your eyes met.

Your eyes dart across the room, looking anywhere but into Corpse's own eyes.

"Tsk, eyes on me, baby."

You hesitantly bring your eyes back to meet his, prompting Corpse to praise you. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks at this.

"You promise?? I don't wanna be a distraction, I-"

Wordlessly, Corpse brushes his thumb on your bottom lip, causing you to quiet down immediately.

"What are you saying? I always have time for you. Now c'mon."

You giggle as Corpse lifts you up into his arms bridal style and takes you to the living room.

You end up watching a Studio Ghibli movie together, tucked underneath blankets and with you snuggled up into Corpse's chest.

At some point during the movie, you unwrap one of Corpse's arms around you and take his hand. This causes Corpse to unconciously hold your hand in his big, calloused ones, adorned with metal rings.

You both look down to where he held you.

"Awe, now would you look at that. Your hand looks so cute, the way it fits in mine," he coos, causing you to sink further into your blankets, hiding your blush.

"Mm stop," you pout, only making Corpse chuckle some more.

"You're hiding because you're blushing?"

"Yes!! Now stop laughing, you big meanie."

Corpse only responds by lifting you back onto his lap, resting his chin on your head.

"Aww, you really are blushing like a rose," Corpse fawns. "Aren't you just a pretty little thing?"

You decide not to sass back and instead accept the praise.

As you both refocused your attention on the screen, Corpse lets go of your hand and instead runs his fingers through your hair. You hum in satisfaction, leaning into his touch. Corpse continues to do this all while he whispers sweet nothings and praises in your ear until you drift off into a blissful sleep.

After what feels like an hour later, but was really just thirty minutes, Corpse's phone chimes, his screen lighting up to reveal a text notification.

As softly as he can, Corpse reaches over to the side table to grab his phone. Despite his efforts, you wake up from the movement and the sudden lack of warmth that was once wrapped around your body.

You huff in annoyance.

"I thought you said you weren't busyyy."

"I know, little one. Sean wants me to join a game with the others. If you want, you can watch us play. We won't be streaming."

You nod in agreement, and once again, Corpse carries you into the studio, setting you down on his lap soon as he sits down.

You hear a little beep, followed by a variety of voices, all talking above one another. It comes to a stop, though, and you're relieved of the overstimulation as soon as they realize Corpse had joined the call.

"Hey, Corpse is here!"

"What's up, Corpse?"

"Hey guys," Corpse greets them. "I hope you don't mind that Y/N's with me right now. They're little again and I promised I'd spend time with them."

You heard some 'aww's' in the back as voices overlapped again.

"Oh, no, yeah of course we're okay with that."

"That's really sweet!"

"All right, guys, no cursing or excessive yelling! If you scare Y/N, you're gonna have me to answer to!"

Though they couldn't see you, you still shyly huddled closer into Corpse's chest. Corpse's friends, being your friends as well, knew that you were an age regressor and were fully supportive and accepting. So this wasn't the only occassion where they'd played with little you around to watch.

"Thank you," you mumbled sleepily into the mic before yawning and laying back down into Corpse.

He gives you a kiss on the top of your head before he goes back to chatting and playing with his friends. An hour passes, and then it's night. The cold nighttime air seeps in through the windows, causing goosebumps to form on your exposed skin.

Silently, you tug at Corpse's hoodie, prompting him to look down at you. Though you've been quiet throughout the past hour, Corpse hadn't forgotten about you.

He raises a brow, confused for a second until you grab at his hoodie again with pleading eyes.

"'M cold, daddy."

"Shh, okay, baby, I got you."

Corpse pulls his sweater over his head, and on instinct, you raise your arms up as well. Corpse takes his hoodie and puts it on you, causing you to giggle in delight.

"There you go. Is that better?"

You beam, "Mhm!"

As Corpse shared this moment with you, he was still blissfully unaware that his mic was still on. That was, until he heard the choruses of "awe's" in his headphones.

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [five] // wanda maximoff

summary: spending the afternoon with the Maximoff twins proved to be interesting... and prom night finally arrives!

warning/s: none.

author's note: here’s the final part to this mini series! i’m so glad you all enjoyed it and i appreciate every note i get, thank you 😊♥️ i’ve still got other wanda stuff in the works that will be posted soon, so stay tuned!

part one | part two | part three | part four | lil bonus bit for after p5 |masterlist | wattpad

After a few tries and encouragement from Pietro, I managed to win the black cat plush toy for Wanda. It was strange, her brother wanting me to make a move on her, but I guess it reassured me a bit to know he thought I was actually good enough for her.

The two of us headed to the diner next door to find Y/BF/N and the other Maximoff twin, myself hiding the plush toy behind my back.

"Finally, you two took forever!" Y/BF/N exclaimed when he saw us approaching their table.

"Y/N here is one stubborn girl with that machine," Pietro explained with a smile as we took our seats. His eyes fell to the drink in front of him. "Oh, you ordered!"

"Just the drinks," Y/BF/N said, before looking to me as I slid in beside him in the booth. "I got you a Cherry Coke. Your favourite."

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

"So, what d'you win?" he asked, quirking a brow.

Feeling the heat rising up my neck, I looked to Wanda who was sat opposite Y/BF/N. She was leaning on her hand as she stared at me with a kind smile on her lips.

"You said you wanted the black cat," I said nervously, before holding it out to her. "Here."

Taken aback, she raised her eyebrows but accepted the gift. "Aww, Y/N... you didn't have to!"

I shrugged, smiling awkwardly.

She grinned, studying the toy before looking up at me with sparkling hazel eyes. "I love it. Thank you."

Nodding, I glanced at Pietro who was grinning with pride before me. I could feel Y/BF/N staring at me and when I looked his way, he was smirking and wiggling his eyebrows knowingly. Rolling my eyes, I focused my attention on the menu to distract myself.

"So... what shall we order?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

After relaying our order to the waitress, Pietro was the first to speak up.

"Okay, I have to ask," he began, leaning forward slightly as he looked between Y/BF/N and I. "Are you guys dating?"

I almost choked on my drink as I looked over my glass to see him grinning cheekily. He knew full well that Y/BF/N and I were only friends, so what was he playing at?

"Definitely not," Y/BF/N answered with a chuckle. Y/N here is practically my sister."

"Exactly," I added, giving Pietro a look that basically said I'm going to murder you. "He's been my best friend since we were kids."

"So there's never been feelings there?" Pietro continued to question curiously, leaning back in his seat.

Wanda slapped his arm gently. "Leave them alone, Piet."

"Never," Y/BF/N answered for us both. "Like I said, she's my annoying little sister."

I quirked a brow and looked to him. "Little? I think I'd be the older sister in this fake sibling relationship,"

"But I'm a month older than you," he stated like that was explanation enough.

"But you act like a child," I retorted. "I'd be the older one."

He rolled his eyes, though a smile was playing on his lips. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

I rolled my eyes, too, before looking back to the twins. Wanda was smiling as she sipped her drink and Pietro had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked to me. What the hell was he thinking?

"So you're not interested in Y/BF/N," he thought aloud. "And you definitely weren't interested in me..."

"You made a move on Y/N?" Wanda asked suddenly, looking to her brother with knitted brows.

I breathed out through my nose, eyes falling to the table with embarrassment.

"Yeah, but she made it clear she didn't like me," Pietro said with a shrug, before looking to me again. "So who do you like then? Or is their a girlfriend we don't know about?"

Looking up, I saw three sets of eyes on me and I suddenly felt nervous. Y/BF/N and Pietro were watching with amusement dancing in their eyes as Wanda chewed her lip curiously, awaiting an answer.

"You know there's nobody, Pietro," I said through a forced smile as I looked to him.

His cheeky smile was still present as he said. "Really? I thought you mentioned someone back then. Whilst we were playing in the arcade."

Oh, boy, was he going to die.

"You misunderstood," I played along, before kicking him in the shin to shut him the hell up.

Of course, it was just my luck that the leg in front of me was actually Wanda's. She squeaked an 'ow' as she bent down to rub her leg.

"What was that?" she asked with confusion.

Pietro must have pitied me, having put me on the spot enough in the past two minutes, as he looked to his sister with an apologetic smile. "My bad, Wands. My foot just twitched."

I breathed out with relief as Pietro looked to me, trying not to laugh. He was lucky we were with company otherwise I would have killed him there and then.

—

I wasn't expecting to be hanging out with the Maximoff twins on a Saturday afternoon, but by the time dinner came to an end, I realised how much I enjoyed the day. And I think I could say the same for Y/BF/N, too.

The rest of our meal was pretty uneventful after Pietro's initial teasing, to my relief, and Pietro eventually quit it with the overt hints towards his sister. The last thing I wanted was for Wanda to feel uncomfortable, so I was glad he eventually cut it out.

At the end of the meal, Pietro and Y/BF/N offered to split the bill between them – something about chivalry not being dead, I don't know, all I knew was Wanda and I were getting a free meal so why complain? – and headed to the till to pay, leaving Wanda and I alone.

She was hugging her new black cat plushie on her lap adorably, making me smile.

"Aren't black cats supposed to be bad luck or something?" I asked, earning her attention.

She put her arm on the back of her seat, leaning her head on her hand as she gave me her full attention. "I didn't peg you for the suspicious type," she taunted.

I smiled. "I never said I believed it. Just what I've heard."

She chuckled, licking her lips. "Fair point... I don't believe it either. I just love black cats. They're so cute and get way too much stick for merely existing."

It was my turn to laugh. She had such a unique way of thinking that I couldn't help but be attracted to. Something as simple as the way she was smiling at me right now warmed my heart.

"How is your hand by the way?" she suddenly asked, eyes looking down to it.

I squeezed it into a fist and released. The purple bruising along my knuckles had turned yellow-green which meant it was getting better, but it did still hurt a little. Nonetheless, I didn't want to make Wanda feel bad, so I gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's okay," I said, making her look up at me with concerned eyes. "I mean, it hurts a little, but it's getting better."

She pursed her lips, nodding. "Nate really did deserve what you did. Bet it felt good."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise, certainly not expecting that. "I guess it did a little, but..."

"It's okay, I'm not biased," she promised with a slight smile. "We broke up, remember?"

I relaxed before mirroring her expression. "Then yeah, it felt pretty great. Karma for hitting me with that stupid football."

She chuckled, leaning back into her seat and clutching her cat. "Karma, indeed." There was a pause, before she grew excited. "So prom is coming up. How are we feeling?"

I groaned playfully. "We're feeling exhausted already. I'm not a huge prom fan."

She gasped. "Seriously? Y/N, come on, it's our last one! How aren't you excited?"

I pulled a face. "The concept of dancing in a hall with people I barely speak to isn't exactly appealing."

She straightened up, hugging her cat closely. "So what, you're not gonna go?"

"I'm not sure yet... Y/BF/N has plans to ask someone and really wants me to go, too," I admitted. "But I've not decided. I might just leave him to it."

She tilted her head to the side curiously, eyes studying me intensely. "What if somebody asked you to go with them? Then would you go?"

I tried not to laugh as I leaned my head in the palm of my hand on the table. "Nobody is going to ask me, Wanda. Nobody even knows who I am."

She scoffed playfully. "Now that's just not true. You're beautiful, Y/N. Funny. Kind. Intelligent. Someone is bound to ask."

I rolled my eyes, hoping to distract from the heat rising to my cheeks. I knew she was just saying all of that stuff to be nice, but God was I awful at accepting compliments.

She must have noticed as she leaned forward on her own palm, eyes glowing with entertainment. "Okay, what if you asked somebody?"

Appreciating the subject change, I leaned back in my seat. "I wouldn't even know who to ask."

She thought about it for a moment, before saying, "Pietro was being annoying earlier with all of that questioning, but he's right. Is there nobody you're even remotely interested in at school?"

I quirked a brow, wondering if she was serious. The way she was watching me patiently, a small smile tugging at her lips, made me believe she was. And I found that I couldn't bring it in myself to completely lie to her. So, I didn't.

"There's one person," I admitted reluctantly, swallowing hard. This piqued her interest as she sat up straight, an excited look on her face. I continued, "But I could never ask her."

She gave me an are you serious? look. "And why not?"

I tensed my jaw, smile fading at the thought. "She wouldn't say yes."

Wanda's expression softened. "I doubt that."

Feeling a little uncomfortable, I shuffled in my seat. "She wouldn't. And it's fine anyway! I mean, I wouldn't even know what to say. It's pointless."

"Try," was all she said. And in response to my confused face, she added, "Try asking me. Practice what you would say if I was this girl."

I shook my head. "Wanda, that's not–"

"Just try!" she insisted, sitting back in her seat and smiling encouragingly. "No harm, no foul, right?"

Maybe a little, I thought, but straightened up anyway.

"Okay, er..." I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling nervous as her eyes followed my every move. Looking up, I felt intimidated by her gaze, even though she had the softest smile and kindest eyes directed my way. "Wanda, would you like to go to prom with me?"

Without hesitation, she nodded. "I'd be honoured to, Y/N."

It was fake, this whole thing was 'practice'. But God, I wanted it to be real so bad. She held my gaze, confident and startling and wonderful all at once, and I had no idea what to do. My palms were getting sweaty and my heart was racing the longer she stared. My gaze fell to her lips at the wrong time, as she licked them and I wanted to lean in, wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her hard and tell her how I felt. I wanted to ask her to prom and dance with her in the school gym. I wanted to hold her hand and pull her close, staring into her eyes without fear of going too far.

I wanted her.

"Okay, we're all done here," Pietro's voice broke our staring contest. He clapped his hands together, stopping by the table. "You both ready to go?"

Wanda nodded, already sliding out from the booth. "I'm ready. Y/N?"

I looked up and forgot how to breathe when she smiled down at me.

"Y-yeah," I got out, wiping my palms on my jeans before sliding out the booth. "All ready. Let's go."

—

Prom came upon us in no time and I'd made the decision to attend. My sister ended up convincing me with Y/BF/N, the two of them rambling about how it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and a rite of passage before graduating high school. As much as I hated the thought of attending, I knew they were right, so I agreed to go.

Y/S/N came over to help me get ready, as she was the one who picked my dress. I wanted to wear a cute pantsuit, not really one for dresses, but after her complaints – "you're really milking that whole 'I'm a lesbian' look aren't you?" – I agreed on a dress that she chose.

She helped me do my hair and makeup before taking loads of embarrassing photos of me at the door. I went to prom with Y/BF/N and his date – some girl he liked in his Maths class – which wasn't too bad, but I didn't want to third wheel too much, so I gave them space when we actually arrived.

The school had done a good job at converting the gym into something unrecognisable, I must admit. Plus there was food, which was always a good distraction.

Some acquaintances from some of my classes said their hellos to me and engaged in some quick conversations before moving on. Admittedly, it wasn't too bad catching up with people I'd shared class with over the past several years. Y/BF/N even had a few dances with me, both him and his date, which was sweet, but honestly, I still felt out of place.

Two hours in, I was already fed up of the experience, opting to stand on the sidelines by a cocktail table with a sad glass of punch. I definitely didn't expect to see Wanda approaching me with an impressed smile on her lips. I hadn't actually seen her since arriving, the place full of students and myself barely recognising anyone as it was, let alone in a full gymnasium.

"You came," she said when she stopped my table, eyes looking me up and down. "You look amazing, Y/N."

She was one to talk. I tried not to drool over how beautiful she looked. I assumed she'd be one to wear a dress, but I guess I assumed wrong as she was pulling off a burgundy suit and white blouse. Her hair was curled and left out, paired with a smokey eye makeup look that only complimented her eyes perfectly.

"Says you?" I replied with a smile. "You look gorgeous, Wanda."

She smiled bashfully. "Thank you... so what made you change your mind in coming?"

I laughed uncomfortably, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Partially forced by my family, partially felt like I had to."

She laughed alongside me. "Well, I feel like you made the right choice."

"Not too sure about that," I joked, before straightening up. "So, who was lucky enough to bring Wanda Maximoff as their date to the prom?"

She rolled her eyes at my compliment, smile on her lips still. "Nobody. I came alone. Well, alone but with my brother."

I was surprised at that, but tried to hide it with a nod. "Alone works, too."

"Says the girl who also came alone," she teased.

I couldn't help but smile with amusement. "Yeah. Says she."

Setting her purse on the table, she began to open it. "I was looking for you earlier. But I couldn't find you."

I watched as she fumbled around in her purse. "Yeah? And what did you need?"

After a moment of searching, she finally pulled out two slips of paper that looked like tickets. Holding them up with a small smile, she said, "I've got two tickets to the Paramore concert happening in the summer."

My jaw dropped with disbelief. "You're kidding."

She shook her head, holding them towards me. I accepted them, looking to see if she was pulling my leg. She wasn't.

"These are really good seats," I pointed out, before looking up at her. "You scored big time."

She laughed as I held the tickets out to her. Accepting them back, she said, "I did. And I bought them for a reason."

I raised an eyebrow as she watched me.

"We've got to get matching tee shirts somehow, right?" she joked lightheartedly before looking to me with certainty. Green eyes sparkled with hopefulness as she said, "Come with me."

My mouth went dry. She was asking me to go with her, holy shit.

I opened my mouth, about to speak, but she cut me off.

"Don't say maybe," she said, chewing on her lower lip nervously. "Say yes."

The music and the dancing students and the lights all faded into nothing as Wanda waited for a response, stepping closer to me, way too close to be platonic. I was overwhelmed, definitely not expecting this. Never in a million years did I think Wanda Maximoff, the most popular girl in our grade, would be asking me to see Paramore with her. I didn't even think she knew I existed! 

Her eyes darted between mine patiently, sending shivers down my spine. I could feel her breath tickling my lips as she waited and I looked down to hers, suppressing the urge to lean in.

"Yes," I finally spoke, voice barely a whisper as I swallowed hard. "I'll go with you." 

She nodded, but that wasn't enough as she licked her own lips. I looked back to her eyes, only to see her looking down at mine.

"Can I kiss you?" she muttered softly, making me freeze in place.

Her eyes looked back to mine, dark and patient. I managed to nod weakly, and she wasted no more time when pressing her lips to mine a in a slow, gentle, warm kiss. Her hand wrapped around my waist, tugging my body close to hers, as the other rested behind my neck, giving me goosebumps and turning my insides to jelly.

I closed my eyes, melting into her embrace, one hand planted firmly on her waist as the other rested on her chest. She tasted like peppermint and her floral perfume was infiltrating my senses, making my head dizzy in the best way possible.

When she pulled away, I opened my eyes and was immediately submerged in pools of green. Still so close to her, I kept ahold of her waist as she did the same with me, eyes flickering down to my lips once more.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," I admitted breathlessly.

She looked to me again. "Why didn't you?"

Her lips were swollen slightly, red lipstick ruined. I could only imagine the mess on my own lips, but I didn't care.

I smiled nervously. "You were with Nate."

She tried not to laugh. "How stupid of me." Eyes falling to my lips again, she added, "I should have broken up with him sooner if it meant I could do this."

I smiled widely, heart fluttering in my chest at her words. Leaning forward, I took her bottom lip in mine, giving her a final kiss that was long overdue before pulling away.

"In case you couldn't tell, you were the girl I wanted to ask to prom," I said, stepping back slightly, but taking her hands in mine.

She bit her lip to contain her smile. "I figured... and for the record, I would have said yes."

My cheeks began to heat up, but I smiled nonetheless. "Well, in that case... Wanda, would you like to go to prom with me?"

She grinned. "I would be honoured, Y/N."

I mirrored her expression. She held out her free hand.

"Do you wanna dance?" she asked gently.

I accepted her hand, squeezing it gently. "I'd love to."

Before either of us could make a move to do so, we heard Pietro's voice shouting in the distance.

"Fina-fucking-lly!"

We turned to the left to see him racing towards us in his blue suit, a knowing smile on his lips.

"You took forever," he said with disbelief to his sister. "I thought I'd have to keep flirting with Y/N in front of you for you to get the hint and make a fucking move."

Wanda rolled her eyes, but I smiled as her cheeks dusted pink.

"And you!" he said, looking to me. "You're so oblivious it hurts."

"Wanda didn't know I existed before this year," I told him, half joking and half serious. "I had every right to be."

Wanda squeezed my hand, earning my attention. She shook her head. "That's not true. I always noticed you."

I gave her a knowing look. "Seriously?"

With an endearing smile, she nodded. "Seriously."

I sighed, looking away and definitely not expecting that. "Well, okay then."

She laughed, pulling me close and wrapping an arm around my waist comfortably. "I believe you owe me a dance. C'mon.

Pietro opened his mouth to speak, but Wanda merely pushed past him, guiding me to the dance floor.

"Not now, Piet," she said, before looking to me with sparkling eyes. "I want to dance with my girlfriend."

I was sure it was impossible for me to smile anymore.

"Girlfriend," I noted aloud, nodding. "I like the sound of that."

She grinned before standing opposite me, holding out her hand. And as I accepted it, I felt a warmth spread all over me that was only possible because of one girl and one girl only.

Wanda Maximoff.

[blueeyedgeorgie]

Wide Awake-Dream Was Taken

A/N: Here’s Pt. 2 bitches. I hope you all enjoy ! Also, please go support and follow @notphilosopherstudentblog​ because she helped me out with this because she’s so intelligent. <3

Btw Title is based off Katy Perry’s song Wide Awake

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.5k+

_________

It was early. Too early for Y/n to be crying. But her she was, sitting in bed, clinging to one of Clay's old shirts. In the past, it was normal for her to steal a couple of his belongings. It was typical of Y/n to invite herself into his closet, taking whatever she wanted to wear, whenever she wanted. But now it just felt wrong.

There were only a few items left Y/n had that were his. She never washed this shirt, she had only worn it once. She could still remember the day she stole it.

"Y/n, you've got to be kidding," Clay turned in his desk chair. She had just walked out of his closet wearing an oversized grey t-shirt. "You're seriously going to leave me with five pieces of clothing."

She shot him a playful look, taking a moment to admire herself in the nearest mirror. "I'm sorry Mr. 15 million subscribers. You can always buy more clothes with all that money."

"Fine... it looks better on you anyway."

She had spent the rest of the day in his shirt. And by the end of the day, the scent of his laundry detergent was strong. For an odd reason, the t-shirt had spent weeks in the back of Y/n's closet, untouched. At least, until this morning.

All night she was toss and turning. It seemed impossible for her to get a moment of sleep, her mind had been racing. The only reason she wasn't able to sleep was because of one person; Clay. Their fight had played over and over again in her mind.

'But Y/n, I really do love you.'

There were so many different ways the night could've ended. But it was her fault it ended how it did. If only she hadn't asked for him to step out of the stupid restaurant with her. She didn't need to make a scene, but she still did. This was all her fault.

The sound of her phone buzzing had pulled Y/n away from the piece of fabric in her hands. Looking down at her nightstand, she glanced at the electronic. Wilbur was calling. With a sigh, hesitantly she reached for the phone.

"Hey, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur."

The brunette bit his lip at the sound of her voice. He could tell she had a rough night. "Are you doing alright?"

"I'm..." she paused, looking down at the shirt in her lap. "Yeah, I'm doing better."

"That's good to hear," For some odd reason, he was pacing. It wasn't normal for him to pace back and forth. He was already dressed for the day, wearing a set of brown pants with a creme button-up shirt. A pair of glasses rested on his face as he spoke. "George and I were hoping to go get some breakfast. Do you think you could show us somewhere good?"

"Yeah, I'm up for breakfast. What about Nick and Clay?" If Clay was coming, she didn't know what she'd do. There would be tension, but maybe she could find a way to patch everything up between them.

"Nick's going over to Clay's. They wanna have a bit of time together."

"Oh, okay... when do you guys wanna meet up?"

"Maybe 30 minutes to an hour?"

"An hour it is."

Before preparing to go out, Y/n had texted Wilbur a location point to meet up. It was a nice restaurant located in town, it had always been one of her favorite places to eat. George and Wilbur had gotten a table outside, it was nice out for a day in Flordia.

"Do you think she's gonna do it?"

Wilbur glanced across the table to George, "Honestly, probably not." He let out a sigh, " hope she agrees. I really do. But it's gonna be hard for her to let go. I just think it'd be better if they got some time away from each other."

"You're right. As good of friends they are, they need a break from each other." They both knew it wasn't a good idea for Y/n to stay in Flordia at the moment, she needed a moment away from Clay. So Wilbur had come up with an idea to get Y/n to take a break.

"What do you think of Elise?" Changing the subject, George leaned back in his chair. It was rare for Clay's girlfriend to come up in conversation. She seemed like such a touchy subject in the group. She was definitely a sweetheart, but it seemed like she appeared out of nowhere. The group had been planning future Dream SMP roleplay on a Discord call. It had been so brief when Clay mentioned her. 'Hey guys, I just wanted to mention I started dating somebody.' It was smart of George to hold his tongue because of what else Clay had to say. 'Her name is Elise and she's 19.'

Most of the group had expected Clay and Y/n to end up together. They were best friends who lived in the same town. There was constant flirting going on between them. And not to mention Y/n had always been there to support Clay through the bad and good.

"Hey, guys!"

Both of the British men were pulled out of their thoughts by the sound of her voice. Y/n was quick to take a seat by Wilbur. "Have we ordered yet?"

"No actually, we've been waiting for you." George fixed his posture, his classic grin appeared on his face. "Got any recommendations for drinks?"

"My go-to has to be a mimosa and the eggs benedict."

The knock came as a surprise, but there were a lot of surprises happening this morning. Clay had woken up earlier than usual. Naturally, he'd get up around 9 or 10, but today he woke at 7. He couldn't go to bed for a few more hours, his mind wouldn't quit racing with thoughts. He had ended up skipping breakfast, he wasn't hungry today. It was normal for him to eat something, he always woke up starved. The early knock was the cherry on top of the cake of the surprises happening today.

"Hey Nick, what are you doing here?" Clay glanced behind his friend, looking for any sign of the rest of his friends. Originally, they had planned to meet up later that afternoon at his place. "I thought you were coming by at noon?"

Nick stood on the porch, burying his hands into the pockets of his jeans. It was early in the morning, yet it was already warm outside. "Yeah, sorry I didn't ask if I could come by earlier. I just wanted some time alone with you."

"Cool, make yourself at home," Stepping aside, the blonde opened the door a bit wider for his friend. "Sorry it's a bit messy, I was planning to clean up before you guys showed up."

The pair had made their way to Clay's living room. It was nice, but still a bit messy just as he said. As the blonde began to pick up after himself, the pair had a bit of small banter.

"Is Elise gonna come by this afternoon?" Nick watched as Clay picked up a couple of items sitting on the coffee table.

"Uh, no. I think she had work today."

"Oh, what about Y/n?"

Clay tensed, pausing for a second. She had been on his mind a lot since the last time he saw her. The way she looked at him... it hurt. It felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. This morning she was all he could think of. He missed her good morning texts, the way she'd update him about little situations happening in her schedule, when she would randomly face time him just to say: 'I wanted to see your stupid face because I missed it.'

"I... she's not coming."

"Why's that?"

"You know why, Nick." Clay let out a sigh, taking a seat on the couch. He didn't know what he could do, he was the one who messed everything up. If he tried to apologize, he might even piss Y/n off even more. She had always been a hardass about being hurt or betrayed, it was hard for her to give people a second chance. "I don't even think she knows we're all planning to meet up later today."

"Dude... it's weird seeing you two like this. It feels wrong." The two friends looked at one another, it seemed like Nick could tell exactly what Clay was thinking. 'It is wrong.'

"I miss her. But I was also the one who fucked everything up by ignoring her for weeks."

"Why'd you even do that?"

"Because I fell in love with her. I was scared she didn't feel the same. So I distanced myself and looked for someone to start a relationship with.  That's why I met Elise."

"Clay... you're an idiot."

"I know."

Turning, Wilbur looked at Y/n. She was halfway finished with her meal. Everything was going great, she seemed so happy just to be able to talk with two friends. It seemed like the best time to spring the idea on her.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Yes, Wilbur?"

He bit his lip, glancing at the man sitting on the other side of the table. George gave a brief nod, knowing what was going to happen next. "George and I had an idea we'd like to share with you."

"What is it?"

"You know how you've been talking about how you've always wanted to visit us in London?"

"Yeah..."

Wilbur paused, looking back at George for a second. "Well, we were thinking... I have a free room in my place. Why don't you spend one of two months with me just to see how you like London?"

Y/n's face lit up. "That sounds great, Wilbur. I... wow. That sounds so fun!" She paused, her smile disappeared. "But what about my house? I can't just abandon it for a month."

Wilbur bit his lip, 'Shit.'

"Clay can stop by once a week, just to make sure everything's fine. I'm positive he'll do it for you," George was quick to jump into the conversation. As soon as he mentioned Clay, Wilbur shot him a look. Y/n tensed at the sound of his name.

"Listen Y/n, you don't have to do it. Just keep the idea in mind, you can give me an answer before George and I leave."

"Okay..." Y/n bit her lip, looking at her food. She knew the only right answer was yes, but it was going to be hard to talk to Clay about this. "I think... I think I wanna do this. I wanna go with you guys."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but... just give me some time to think it over."

"We're always here for you, Y/n. No pressure." Wilbur placed a hand on Y/n's. He wanted her to come to London, everything would be better. He cared a lot about Y/n, he really did. He just wanted to see her happy.

"I just want her to be happy," Clay let out a sigh, opening the refrigerator door. His eyes skimmed over what there was, he had gone grocery shopping the other day to plan for today. He still wasn't hungry.

"Everything's gonna get-" Nick paused, he was interrupted by the sound of Clay's phone ringing. There was a moment of silence as the blonde closed the refrigerator, approaching his phone on the kitchen counter.

"It's Y/n."

"What?"

"Do I pick it up?" Clay glanced at his friend.

"yes, yes, yes! Do it!"

Clay was quick to pick up the phone, putting it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Clay."

"Hey, Y/n."

"Do you..." she paused, "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Yeah, I can talk." Clay leaned against the counter, listening to her intently. It had only been a few days, but he missed her voice. He could tell she was down.

"I know this seems like the wrong time to be asking for favors and everything, considering everything that has happened this last week. But... I need your help with something." She paused again. He could tell she was hesitating, as though something was keeping her back. "I think I'm gonna be gone for a while. And I just need someone to check up with my house every couple of days. Could you do that? It's fine if you don't want to, it was a stupid idea of me to ask you anyways-"

"No, yeah. Of course, I'll check up on your house for you, Y/n." He was quick to cut her off. The last thing he wanted was for her to think she couldn't turn to him for help anymore. "And it's not stupid of you to ask me. I'll always be here if you need something or need help."

She scoffed, "You weren't there for me these past few weeks." She stopped herself again for the third time. "I'm sorry, that was really bitchy of me."

"I deserved it," he could only chuckle. Y/n was still herself. "But yeah, is there anything else you need... or want to talk about?"

"I... no. No, that's it. I guess I'll talk to you... eventually."

"Alright," Clay fought back the urge to let out a disappointed sigh. "I'll see you." Without saying goodbye, she hung up the phone. He didn't know what to expect next, he wasn't even sure whether this was a step in the right direction or not.

Staring at the box, Y/n felt herself tear up for the hundredth time this week. This was going to be a hard task to complete, but it was going to help her let go.

Walking around the house, Y/n picked up item by item. Anything that belonged to Clay was going in the box.  A few t-shirts, a couple of CDs she stole, one of his coffee cups. Y/n wasn't even sure how the cup had gotten to her house, but she knew it belonged to Clay. All of her coffee cups matched, all the same color and shape. But... this one cup had shown up in her pantry one day. Every time Clay had spent the night, he'd start the morning off with a cup of coffee, only using that cup.

At this point, Y/n was picking up items that held too strong memories of him. The box had quickly filled, it felt strange. It seemed like she had just lost a chunk of her house. Of her life. This needed to happen. This was the only way they'd be able to keep their friendship.

Y/n had agreed to come to London with Wilbur, she was finally fully on board. Two suitcases sat by her front door as she waited for Wilbur and George to arrive. She would only be in Florida for a few more hours, she needed to give this box back to him. Maybe she could just say screw it, leave it here under her bed, hidden away. So when she'd return she'd be comforted by his shirts and hoodies, she'd listen to his songs and cry.

No. She couldn't do that. If she did that she wouldn't be letting go of everything. Y/n needed closure, it'd be the best for them both and she knew it. Pulling her out of her thoughts, Y/n heard a knock on her door. It was time.

"Morning, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur." Y/n smiled, embracing her friend in a hug as soon as she opened the door.

"George is in the car. We got coffee too." Wilbur looked down at her, his arms still wrapped around her waist, holding her close. "You're positive you want to do this?"

"Yes, I need to."

"Alright, then. I'll support you with whatever decision you make." He finally stepped aside, moving to grab her suitcases. Y/n grabbed the box, she had moved it into the hallway before greeting Wilbur. With one more glance, she looked down her hallway before closing the door. As soon as her home was locked up, Y/n had dropped her keys into the box. This was going to be the final step before London. Giving it all back.

George and Y/n greeted each other, Y/n giving him a quick hug before entering the car. The rest of the time, the car ride was quiet. There was obviously going to be tension. On their way, Y/n kept thinking to herself about what she was going to say. What if she fucked it all up? What if they broke out into another fight?

"Here we are."

Y/n sucked in a breath, looking over at the familiar house. This was the final step.

"Y/n, do you need either of us to walk up with you?" Wilbur spoke, he noticed the way she looked at the house.

She shook her head. "No, I got this..." Stepping out of the car, there were only a few words she'd repeat to herself. 'This is the final step. This is the final step. This is the final step.' It felt like it took forever for her to reach his porch.

As soon as she was face to face with the wooden door, she was quick to hit the doorbell. She just wanted to get this over with, fast. A few moments passed, and just as she reached to hit the doorbell again, she stepped back. The door was opening.

"Y/n?" Clay yawned, his hair was a mess. It was obvious she had just woken him up. "What are you-"

"It's time for me to go now. I'm sorry for waking you up. Here are my keys and a few of your items in case you wanted them while I was-"

"Woah, woah, woah." He interrupted her, rubbing his eyes. "Slow down, you're talking fast. You're leaving? Right now?"

"I..." she sighed. "Yeah, I am."

"And this..." he looked down at the box in her hands. "They're all mine?"

"Yeah, that's kinda the whole point." She gave him a look, "Considering the box says your name."

"Alright... thank you," he nodded, carefully picking the box up from her. "How long are you gonna be gone?"

"I'm not sure. I just know I have to go."

"Why?"

"Because of us, Clay. It'd be better for both of us. We need time apart. We have so much going on in each other's lives. I just need a break."

He watched her, she looked close to tears. Without thinking, Clay pulled his friend into his embrace, holding her close. "I understand. Take as much time as you need. I'll be here."

"Thank you."

The hug was short, Y/n was the first to pull away. As soon as it was over, she muttered a quick goodbye, hurrying back to the car. When the car door shut, Wilbur was quick to jump to asking questions.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything? You're completely sure you want to do this?"

"I'm fine, Wilbur."

"Alright, I just wanted to check." Wilbur paused, looking out the window. "Y/n, would you mind if George and I said our goodbyes to Clay?"

"Go ahead, I'm not the boss of you."

Sitting in the car alone, Y/n got a moment to catch her breath and stop the tears from forming. She did it. She completed the final step. She could do whatever she wanted now. The moment alone in the car felt short, George and Wilbur were back in the car in what felt like seconds. Only, Wilbur sat in the back with Y/n, George driving by himself.

"You ready, Y/n?"

"More than anything." Y/n looked at Wilbur, the way he smiled at her just felt... good. Looking down, she noticed Wilbur gently grabbing her hand in his. She smiled, things were going to start getting good for her, she knew it.

"Wow okay, now I just feel like a driver for you two." George shot a dirty look in the mirror.

"A bad driver," Y/n grinned at her friend. "Start moving, Mr. colorblind." "If I get a ticket for running a red light, I'm blaming you."

With a yawn, Y/n opened her eyes. She had another good night of sleep, it had been weeks since she had a bad night of sleep. For eight months, she had lived in London. At this point, her house in Flordia was sold to a family of three, and she was no longer flatmates with Wilbur. Instead, she was his girlfriend.

Turning over, she faced the beautiful brunette. He was still asleep. She owed him everything. She was now an influencer because of him, he had helped her set up her YouTube channel and introduced her to the fans. He thought it'd be a good job for her, considering how she was a social butterfly and carry conversations.

Clay and Y/n didn't interact as much as they use to. They'd interact on the Dream SMP and over social media. But it was rare for them to speak in private. The only way their relationship got better was by them distancing themselves. What was a beautiful friendship had turned into an acquaintanceship. Clay was still dating Elise, but it seemed like things weren't going the best and there were signs of him planning to break up with her soon.

Wilbur peeked an eye open, looking at his girlfriend. "Morning, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur."

Y/n smiled, she knew she was right. Everything got better for her. After all, When the rain ends, there will always be a rainbow.

[aficwhore]

Truth Is

Chapter 1: A Night Many Months Ago

Frankie "Catfish" Morales x F!reader

Summary: When reuniting for the mission in Colombia, Frankie and the reader (nicknamed "Chipmunk"), bicker due to their rocky past. After some angry exchanges, a few truths come out, changing both of their perspectives. Will the relationship be mended? Or once this is over, will they go back to the way things were before?

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: explicit language, blood, violence, guns/weapons, lots of angst and emotions, infidelity, talk of sex and sexual encounters, drinking, mentions of drugs, talk of death, and talk of mental health(PTSD, depression).

A/N: This was inspired by the song "Truth Is" by Sabrina Claudio. I want to make this a series (my first series ever), but it's still being decided, so please let me know if you want this to be continued! And I am still taking requests and prompts! Thanks Lovelies <3

"Cmon, please Chip, we can't do this without you." Santiago begged, his hands clasped together in front of him to show his desperation as he stood before me in my small apartment kitchen. I sighed, glancing around our surroundings. He had come to ask about joining one last escapade, one last job and we'd all be set for the rest of our lives.

Finally breaking the silence and meeting his weary gaze, "Who all have you rounded up? If Will or Benny said no, there's no way I'm doing it without them." I took another deep breath, turning to continue the dishes I had been doing when Pope showed up.

Santi's face began to light up, his stance growing slightly as he grinned, "Great! They both wanted in, so did Tom." Seeming relieved he leaned against the counter next to the sink and crossed his arms.

"And F-Fish?" I hesitated, pausing the scrubbing on the porcelain dish in my hand. It felt like the air in my lungs no longer existed. My heart began to pound it's way up my throat and into my ears.

His head dipped down, feeling the concern laced in my voice. Clearing his voice, he quietly explained "Haven't asked him yet, he was last on my list."

I silently placed the last dish onto the rack near the sink and wiped my wet hands on my jeans, looking down and watching the wet marks gradually making themselves known. No longer forcing myself to make eye contact, I nodded at the ground.

"Look, querida, if you two just talked I'm sure it would work out." He pushed himself off the counter and stepped towards me, reaching a hand out and gently rubbing my shoulder to console me. "But don't let this change your mind, we really do need you."

"When are you going to mention it to him?" I breathed out, wanting to keep any and all emotions at bay. His hand on my arm squeezed, as if he was trying to give me some courage.

"Tonight, at Benny's fight, I thought his spirits would be up enough to persuade him." He chuckled lightly, knowing his plan was to take a little bit of advantage of Frankie's mood.

I laughed softly, "Definitely sounds like a Santi move if you ask me."

He smirked and shook his head "I know, shame on me." As he dropped his hand back to his side he quirked, "You should come tonight, we can go out for drinks after the fight, relax a little before we leave tomorrow."

It took me a second to register what he said, but when I did I burst out "wait what?! Tomorrow? Santi, why didn't you tell me that? You forgot the biggest detail!"

He cowered down slightly, rubbing the back of his neck "Because I knew you'd yell at me, it was worth a shot putting off the anger a little longer." He smiled coyly.

Rolling my eyes I couldn't help but forgive his dumb smile. "Well it starts soon, why don't I get my things real quick and we can head to the arena together?"

His smile widened, "Of course!" I grabbed my purse and keys, making sure to turn off the lights and lock the door behind me. As we made our way down the elevator and out to his car, Santi told me a few details about the missions and the plan. But once we got into his rinky dink ford truck, I turned to him.

"About Frankie, I'm sure one of the boys told you, but just in case; his license was revoked." Santi's face contorted with confusion.

"What? How? Did he crash or hurt somebody?" He questioned quickly.

After taking a breath of courage I spoke, "No Pope. He-He was caught with coke."

Santi stayed quiet, turning the engine on. "I don't get it" A sad expression plastered on his face.

With a furrow in my brow I spoke again, "What don't you get? He was doing drugs, hardcore ones at that". I began to ramble more, "For what reason, I'm not sure, maybe the PTSD and depression. Maybe he felt he had no one to go to-"

"Stop. I know." He cut me off while finally shifting the gear into drive and moving up forward. "You can't blame anyone for this. All we can do is move on and help him. He's our friend, okay? But I know he's still the same Fish, just a little turned around."

"I know, okay. I can't help it. From what the boys told me, he seems to be a lot better." I added, stirring in my seat. "Anyways, it's been awhile since all of us have been back together. It's exciting."

Santi snickered, "But didn't you all hang out while I've been out of the U.S.?"

Seeing that we're close to the arena's parking garage I explained, "I mean, yea, but only me, Ironhead, Benny and Fish. I haven't talked to Redfly in months, we all had a fallout with him. Especially me."

"Tom didn't say anything when I talked to him, Do you wanna fill me in?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Huffing, I turn to face him, telling him the events of that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The four of us, the Millers, Frankie and I sat on my couch, watching TV and talking, when we hear a bang at the door. I got up to open it and find Tom slumped on the doorway. He looked rough and smelled like he had been drinking the past several days. "Woah, Tom, you're really drunk, and you drove here?"

He snapped, beginning to yell, "Who are you to judge me? Huh? My wife left me, this is how I cope." He angrily pushed his way past me and tumbled into the living room. He was greeted with the boys standing around him with concerned faces.

"What the hell were you thinking? You know how dangerous that is? You know you could've called and we would've been there for you!" I raised my voice back, causing Tom to swing around to face me.

He laughed darkly, "Oh shut up 'Miss Perfect,' just like you did for Fish? When he was nose deep in coke? Or are you too self obsessed? Or do you just have favorites!"

"Hey man, that's not cool." Will interrupted and tried to get a handle on Tom. Frankie lowered his head in embarrassment. Will reached forward and placed a hand on his back, but things escalated more.

"Oh okay, yea protect the whore, we all know she's there for you guys more than just talking. I wouldn't doubt it if you all fucked her too. But me? Nah, you leave me out of everything." Tom howled, yanking away from Will and slurring his words and no longer making sense.

Anger becoming more prominent, I spoke, "Seriously?! Whore?! How is it my fault that you push us away and don't let us help? We include you in everything, but you have your head so far stuck up your ass you never show up!" I've come face to face with him, my hot breath and voice blowing into his face above me. "And another thing, I'm not a whore, you asshole, I'm with Frankie!"

He leaned closer to me, his breath reeking of alcohol, "Just him? Does he know where you're at everyday Monday and Wednesday at 1?! I doubt it!"

Frankie speaks up, "What? What is he talking about?" A devilish smirk makes its way to Tom's face.

"Nothing, I swear it's nothing." I try to explain, making eye contact with my partially hurt lover.

"Tell him, tell him you've been seeing a 'Dr. Philips.' Go on, do it." He rubs it in.

Looking behind Tom, I saw Frankie looking like his world had just shattered. "You've been seeing someone?!"

Panicking, I speak, "Yes, but it's not what you think, I promise!"

"Then what is it?" Tom adds, stumbling back a foot and crossing his arms contently at the damage he just caused.

Benny spoke up, knowing the truth about who I was "seeing." "You need to leave man, you have no right to say shit like that. You don't know the real situation"

Tom burst, yelling "I want her to admit it! I want her to admit that she isn't the perfect bitch she makes herself out to be!"

"Fuck you! Get the hell out of my house!" I scream, tears slightly welling in my eyes. "Frankie-" I turn to him, but to find him grabbing his things. "Baby please, let me explain."

"Explain what? You've been cheating on me?" his voice is loud, and cracks slightly.

A tear breaks its way down my cheek, "I haven't, Frankie, please believe me." I grab his hand, trying to stall his movements, but he pulls away.

"You just admitted it!" He frowns and yanks his hand away and heads for the door.

"That's right Fishie boy! Leave her, she's no good anyway!" Tom squawks as Benny grabs a hold of him and shoves him to the door, Will right behind to help.

"You bastard!" I lunged forward and swung my hand, landing right on the side of his face with a loud crack. Frankie spun around, startled at my actions.

The action only fueled Tom's anger because he ripped away from Benny's grip and grabbed me. I didn't back down and started to shove him and swing my arms, hitting him in the face and chest as he fought back.

But just as quickly as the fight started, it ended. Frankie tore me off of Tom, pinning me to his chest and stopping my brutal hits. Will and Benny wrested Tom into submission and dragged him out of the front door as he yelled slurs at me, and dumped him outside with a battered face.

While the brothers were dealing with a drunk Redfly, Frankie scolded and verbally fought with me.

"Just tell me! Who is Dr. Philips!" He questioned, slightly shaking me by the shoulders.

With many emotions running through my head, I couldn't process what was going on. "I-I can't, Frankie, I can't even admit it to myself." Tears streaming down my face I brought my hands up to the sides of his face. "But you have to believe me, por favor (please)."

Francisco looked like he was fighting an emotional battle in his mind. He finally spoke, "Either you tell me, or I leave, I can't do this, not if you keep things from me."

Feeling my heart break, I whispered "Please, mi amor (my love), don't make me. I'm not strong enough." My eyes now running like an open faucet and my hands tightly pressed to his cheeks.

He blinks away tears, reaching his hands up to grab mine and pull them away from his face, "Then I have to go." He drops my hands and turns to leave.

"Por favor no me dejes! (Please don't leave me)" I call after him, watching as he heads out of the door and into the night, leaving me alone. I drop to the floor, tears blurring my vision and all that can be heard are my sobs.

After what feels like hours, Will and Benny return, picking me up off the floor and taking me to my bed. They lay me down, attempting to help my emotional breakdown. They pick up whatever mess that was left after the event of that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And after that night, Tom was no longer invited anywhere with us. Frankie distanced himself and refused to talk to me. But Will and Benny did their best to be there for me in any way they could. They did the same for Frankie. But as for Tom, they casted him out, because he changed, badly." I finished covering the story of that night, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. "And the Dr. Philips I was seeing, was my therapist. I didn't want anyone to know I wasn't okay mentally. I was embarrassed and part of me didn't want to admit I needed help. The lives we chose aren't easy."

Santi parked, and seemed shocked, "I'm sorry love, I knew you split with Fish, but didn't know any details or about Tom." He reached over and patted my thigh sympathetically. "I really am sorry that you went through all of that because Tom was an asshole. You really don't have to do this-"

"No I want to, I'm in a better place, so is everyone else." I smiled shyly, wanting to lift the spirits. "So what do you say? Let's go wrangle up our boys and get rich?"

Pope smiled brightly, "Hell yes!" We both got out of the car, and headed to the back of the arena and knocked, hoping Will was there to open it like he told Santi he would. Much to our luck, the door swung open to reveal a tall, smiling, blonde Miller brother.

"Brother!" Santi chuckled as he pulled the eldest Miller into a hug, clapping each other on the back. They pulled away as Pope headed inside to find the others.

"Hey pretty girl, long time no see." Will joked, hugging me tightly.

I scoffed, "Will, you were just at my house last night." We both laughed and he led me into a rank smelling locker room, which I assumed was for Benny to get ready. As we rounded the corner, I saw Benny and Tom chatting on one of the benches between the lockers.

"Chipmunk!" Benny roared as he ran over, picked me up and spun me around. "I missed you! I'm so glad you could make it!" He sat me back down and stepped back to sit on the bench again.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss you getting your ass beat for the world!" I giggled as I winked at him, showing the younger of us a bit of love.

He shook his head with a grin. As my eyes left him, they met with the eyes of Tom. He seemed to have a look of regret, trying to give me a sad smile.

I walked over to him, reaching my hand in a fist forward, lightly tapping his shoulder, "Hey fly, how you been?"

A small wave of relief washed over him as he responded "I'm good Chip, how are you? And look I'm really sorry, I wasn't in a good place and I regret-"

"Its okay Tom, really, it is. I'm just glad you're better. It's water under the bridge." I sit next to him and pat his back, showing that all, or at least most, is forgiven.

He nods slowly, "Thank you, it means a lot that you're here."

"Oh cmon you have to admit it, you couldn't do it without me, the best there is." I pretend to act over confident and burst into laughter. And Tom joins in.

As Tom and I begin to catch up, talking about what we've missed these past several months, I overhear a conversation.

"Hermano (brother)! How are you?" Santi greets Frankie, I assume, he was the last of us, who wasn't already here. When I realize that it is him, my heart begins to race. My skin starts to burn and get hot, my palms becoming sweaty.

"Pope! Benny! Ironhead! What is this, a reunion?" Frankie's voice echoes as they come closer. As the three round the corner, "All we need is Redfly and Chip-" Frankie stops as we become revealed to him. Tom gets up immediately and struts over to give Fish a hug. Frankie's face lights up with glee and hugs him back. When they step away from each other, I wearily stand up and all he does is give an awkward smile and nods in my direction.

Benny attempts to whisper to Santi, "Ouch, that's cold." And Santi jabs him in the stomach with his elbow, causing him to double over and make a "hmf" sound.

Being slightly hurt, I break the uneasy tension by opening an invitation, "Alright well I'm gonna go get a beer and find us some good seats, it's close to showtime!" Faking a smile I continue, "Who's coming?"

"Me, I can't be in here with this doofus anymore." Will chuckle as he ruffles Ben's hair and follows right behind me.

When we make it to the concession stand and order beers, Will taps my arm, "How are you feeling?"

With a sigh, "Honestly I expected that, but it hurt more when it actually happened. But what can I say." I grab out drinks from the concession worker and thank her and turn on my heels to find a seat. "I love him, and if that means waiting to mend things, it worth it, even if it means waiting forever."

Will offers a sympathetic grin. "It'll work, just watch. Oh! Over there! Perfect seats!" He points as his attention was caught by an opening near the rink. He pursues it as I follow behind.

While we sit, we joke around, waiting for the rest of the gang to come sit and watch Benny get thrown around. Finally the last three show up and sit with us, Tom sat on Will's right side, me on his other side, Santi on my left, but when Frankie walks up, he bends down and whispers to Santi, causing him to scoot further away from me and leaving room for Frankie to slot himself between us. Which took me by surprise. Once he was seated, he glanced over to me and gave me a genuine smile.

We don't say a word as the lights begin to dim and the announcer's voice breaks through the speaks, introducing our dear Benny and his opponent.

Our small group starts to cheer and scream Benny's name, to show him support. As he enters the rink, he searches for us, and when he finds us, he smiles big.

In the midst of all the commotion, Frankie leans over and whispers to me, "I missed you, cariño (sweetheart)."

My face whips around to meet a very close Fish, who is smiling. "I missed you too." I give a small smile and lean to my side to shoulder bump him, as he places a hand on my knee.

[jackson--t]

Short Fun One.

"Hello, Officer!"

Hvitserk and Ivar are carrying something forbidden with them, when they happen to meet an acquaintance of Ivar's in the parking lot.

Words: ~ 980.

Have fun, it's just a small piece I wrote while I was hungry.🙃

"Where did you get this?" Ivar's hands ran almost reverently over the small, transparent baggie that contained the white substance: Cocaine. He had never had any in his hands before and had always joked with Hvitserk that one night they would get some, just for fun. That it would be so early, and completely unprepared in a parking lot at McDonalds, was not something he had expected.

Hvitserk sucked on his milkshake in amusement and took the sachet from Ivar again with a broad grin; he had his knees braced against the steering wheel and was looking at the small sachet in the warm evening light.

"I know somebody who knows somebody, you know. I got it cheaper. It's enough for both of us," he said, and Ivar snorted in amusement. He sipped his Coke briefly, his brother still in view.

"Is that really enough? You've got a giant nose, you'll probably take it all away from me."

"It's enough Ivar, besides we don't want to overdo it the first time."

Ivar laughed roughly. "That's right. Oh man, if Ubbe knew, he'd storm out into the parking lot in his white nightgown and beat us with a rolling pin."

"Original Italian style since he's been banging that girl."

"Hmm, I don't like her," Ivar grumbled; his eyes swept over the parking lot, which was only half-full at this hour. Nothing was noticeable. How many evenings had he and his brother spent here, endlessly eating burgers and ice cream, bitching about their other brothers?

"You don't like women in general. You're into guys, so that's no surprise. But she's nice." Hvitserk replied with his mouth full; he was still holding the little bag, almost like a little trophy; Ivar knew he was proud that he had gotten it himself. Ivar had wanted to do it too - but somehow, he had always secretly lacked the courage to do so. He'd already screwed up enough in the last few years.

"If nice is the adverb to crappy, then yes. She's stupid."

"Just because she spelled your name wrong?"

"Huh, yeah?"

"Oh sorry, king grammar rodeo. You got -"

"Fuck, Hvitty - put that cocaine away!" Ivar hissed all of a sudden; he suddenly sat sensibly in his seat and nearly spilled his Coke, while Hvitserk just let out an annoyed snort.

"What, why?" he murmured, as Ivar gave him a soft smack on the back of the head.

"Over there - cop."

"Where?"

"He's in civilian clothes, you have to... Ah, fuck, he's coming over here," Ivar muttered; he could see Hvitserk eyeing the milkshake and the sachet in his hands, apparently overwhelmed with which was now the forbidden thing.

"You shall....! --" with a panicked groan, Ivar smacked Hvitserk in the lap as he lowered the window with his right hand and gave a wide, charming grin. "Hiiiii, Heahmund."

Hvitserk wiped the remains of his milkshake off his jeans and grunted softly; his Chucks lightly pushed down the small bag of cocaine that had fallen into the footwell, and he put on a bemused smile because he had never seen his brother so fucking friendly before. In fact, Hvitserk raised an eyebrow when he saw Ivar put on his best smile, playing lightly in the ends of his own hair with his left hand.

Only then did his eyes fall on the tall man in front of Ivar's window side, smiling kindly and nodding to the two of them. "Hello, good evening! I knew it was you. Your hair is recognizable from afar." the man said, and Ivar emitted such a friendly laugh that Hvitserk wondered for a moment if he hadn't already sniffed a little of the cocaine.

"Yeah, they're a little... wild today, haha. What are you doing here, are you off work?" he said emphatically softly; Hvitserk opened his lips slightly and exhaled, but Ivar hit him between the ribs so fast that he just coughed. The man didn't seem to notice, however, or he was just being extremely discreet.

"I'm off work, and I'm going to treat myself to some burgers. I'm so tired, I'll probably fall asleep on the sofa again. If you want, you can come around tomorrow." the man said, whose name was Heahmund; Ivar and he smiled at each other, and Ivar nodded softly.

"I'd love to. Me and my brother are just here for dinner too, then we're going home. We'll write, okay?" Ivar hummed charmingly, and Heahmund nodded goodbye to both of them.

"Have a good evening, you two!"

"Thank you!" Hvitserk and Ivar said as if from the same mouth, and watched together as the man disappeared into his car and drove away.

Only then did Hvitserk's eyes turn to Ivar, who was biting hard on his lower lip and wearing faint traces of red on his cheek. When the brothers looked at each other, Ivar rolled his eyes. "What?" he nagged, and Hvitserk grinned broadly.

"You're serious? What was that all about? Did you suddenly turn into a fairy? The fact that you didn't throw fucking glitter around is everything!" he joked, and Ivar gave him a firm shove in the ribs.

"No, idiot... that was just because..." He turned red as a tomato, and Hvitserk started laughing.

"Please don't tell me you're fucking a cop. Oh my God, Sigurd would kill you!"

Ivar frowned; he slid deeper into his seat and didn't dignify Hvitserk with a glance. "Shut up."

"You're really fucking him?"

"It's always good to know someone like that, okay? Now drive before I tell on you to Ubbe," Ivar grunted, so offended that Hvitserk couldn't stop laughing for the next two kilometers.

"Are you going to get a card like in Monopoly? You get out of jail?"

At these words, Ivar had to grin slightly, despite the red color still on his cheeks, and he gave Hvitserk an amused look. "If I suck well enough, then yes."