#i want to write it so badly because it has . so much stuffed crammed into the implications of it

[prettyboykatsuki]

i love the trope for prostitution in porn but feel conflicted writing it bc i have a lot of genuine respect for sex work 😔

[bradshawsbaby]

🔥 Fluffy Hannix? I just need more of how you write them so beautifully in my life! Thank you so much!

From the 2K/Birthday Celebration!

(You’re so very sweet! I hope you enjoy some Hannix/Seresin Family fluff!)

“Ellie, honey, you have to get some sleep,” Phoenix murmured tiredly, running her fingers through her daughter’s dark hair. “Aren’t you sleepy?”

It was nearly three in the morning and Phoenix was crammed beside her two-year-old daughter in Ellie’s new toddler bed, unsuccessfully trying to lull her to sleep. JJ, Ben, and Liam had been soundly asleep in their rooms for hours, and Phoenix herself was exhausted, but Ellie seemed to be wide awake. She was clutching her favorite stuffed elephant and staring up at the ceiling.

“Not sleepy,” Ellie insisted in her sweet little voice, shaking her head. From the glow of her nightlight, Phoenix could see that her chin was starting to tremble and suddenly tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Phoenix asked in concern, sitting up and gently brushing her daughter’s tears away with one finger.

“Daddy,” Ellie hiccuped, holding her elephant up to her face as she started to cry harder. “I miss Daddy!”

“Oh, sweetie,” Phoenix sighed, her heart breaking at her daughter’s admission. Pushing the covers back, she climbed out of the bed and then reached down to lift her daughter into her arms. Still holding her elephant with one hand, Ellie immediately wrapped her arms around Phoenix’s neck and buried her face in her shoulder. “I miss Daddy, too,” Phoenix whispered, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.

It had been nearly a week since Hangman had left for a mission in Europe, and it would still be another two weeks at least before he returned home. The separation was never easy, especially for the kids. The boys had gotten a little more used to their parents’ departures, but Ellie always struggled the most.

“Why Daddy go?” Ellie asked, lifting her tear-stained face to look at Phoenix.

Phoenix smiled gently, brushing more of the tears away. “Daddy had to go because of his job. Same reason why Mommy has to go sometimes. You know the jets that we’ve taken you and JJ and Ben and Liam to see?”

“Big planes,” Ellie nodded, chewing on her fingers.

“Daddy’s flying one of those right now. He’s helping people. So even though we miss him, we should also be really proud of him,” Phoenix said, swallowing past the sudden lump of emotion in her throat.

“Daddy,” Ellie replied sadly, laying her head on her mother’s shoulder once more.

Phoenix glanced down at her cell phone, which was resting on Ellie’s nightstand. It was already the middle of the day by Hangman, despite the late hour here in San Diego. Holding Ellie on her hip, she reached for her phone and sent a quick message to her husband. She didn’t want to say anything to Ellie just yet and get her hopes up for no reason.

Hi, can you talk?

It only took a couple minutes for a reply to come pinging back.

I’ve got about 20 minutes. Missing me that badly, Minx? 😉

Phoenix smirked and shook her head.

I’d say my mini-me is missing you even more. She can’t sleep.

FaceTime me. I want to see you both 😘

“Ellie, do you want to talk to Daddy?” Phoenix asked, holding up her phone.

The look of bright excitement on Ellie’s face pierced Phoenix’s heart deeply. “Yes, yes!” the two-year-old exclaimed, clapping her hands.

“Okay,” Phoenix grinned, moving to turn on the lights in Ellie’s bedroom before settling them both down in the bed, her daughter snuggled up on her lap.

Lifting her phone up, she hit the FaceTime symbol under Hangman’s name and they both waited with eager anticipation for him to pick up.

Within seconds, the face they both loved filled the screen. He was in his flight suit, so Phoenix knew he didn’t have too much time. “Well, hello! What do we have here?”

“Daddy!” Ellie cried, reaching out to clutch the phone with both hands. Phoenix let her take it, smiling as she ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair.

“There’s my princess!” Hangman exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as his daughter’s face filled his phone screen. “What are you and Mommy doing up, huh? It’s late there.”

“Daddy, miss you,” Ellie told him, pressing the phone against her cheek as if she could hug him through it.

“I miss you, too, baby,” Hangman said, his heart tugging painfully at the sight of his wife and daughter. Flying missions had become substantially harder since having a family he had to leave behind. “Did you have a good day?”

Ellie nodded, but it was hard for Hangman to see since she still had the phone pressed against her cheek. Laughing, Phoenix gently pulled the phone away from her and held it up so that they were both visible again.

“She was nodding,” Phoenix explained, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “What about you? How are things going?”

“Things are going fine. All according to schedule so far,” Hangman replied, glancing over his shoulder for a moment as some announcement was made.

It was always hard when they were apart on missions. They both knew the reality of what was going on, but there was little they could say over the phone or via text message. And the worry was constant.

“We know you can’t stay long. We just wanted to say hi and see you,” Phoenix said, grinning when Ellie leaned closer to the phone.

“I love you both so much,” Hangman told them, blowing kisses into the phone.

“I love you, Daddy,” Ellie echoed, puckering up her lips and pressing kisses to Phoenix’s phone screen, which made both her parents laugh.

“Thank you, princess. You give the best hugs and kisses,” Hangman grinned, smiling at his baby girl. “I can’t wait until I get home so I can get them in person again.”

Ellie giggled, then took the phone and held it up towards Phoenix. “Kiss Mommy, Daddy,” she insisted.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Hangman laughed, making a loud kissing sound for his daughter’s benefit. She giggled in response, covering her mouth with both hands.

“We really miss you, babe,” Phoenix murmured softly, holding the phone up so that it was just her and Hangman for a moment. “Be careful, okay?”

“I will,” Hangman nodded, sobering slightly. “I’m going to be home to you so soon. I love you,” he said, blowing her another kiss.

“I love you, too,” Phoenix smiled, blowing a kiss of her own. “Say bye to Daddy, Ellie,” she added, lowering the phone back to her daughter.

“Bye, Daddy!” Ellie called out, waving to him.

“Bye, my loves,” Hangman winked, waving as the call disconnected.

Phoenix smiled, setting her phone back down on the nightstand. “Alright, little one, now it’s time for sleep,” she said, sliding out of the bed and then lowering Ellie against her pillows. “Sleep tight, honey,” she whispered, kissing her daughter’s face as she tucked her blankets around her.

“Night night, Mommy,” Ellie murmured, yawning softly as she snuggled under the covers. She was asleep before Phoenix had even shut the lights off.

Smiling, Phoenix made her way back to her bedroom and crawled under the covers of her own bed. She hated sleeping in it alone, but she was able to sleep better for having seen her husband’s face tonight.

[saturnsummer]

permanently inked (G rated)

notes: since everyone freaked out over beam’s tattoo on twitter, i was very much inspired to write a situation when joonhwi gets a tattoo and sol finds out. here's a G rated version, which slightly more details than my twitter one!

joon has always liked the idea of having a tattoo

no, he doesn’t mean the kind you see on mafia gangs or yakuzas. he means the dainty one of fine calligraphy and those minimalistic arts.

but he was never certain of what to get. a ramyeon bowl seemed like what a child would think. having inked the name of his mother or father seemed…too odd. after all, he didn’t grow up with them.

but his uncle…it was a different story.

his uncle from the beginning was his superman. from a young age, he loved sitting in the lap of his uncle while reading reports and asking his uncle the meanings of words of ‘perjury’ and ‘defamation’.

even after his passing, when all the truth had been dug up, he tried all he could to stay angry at his uncle. but all he found was guilt, shame, and regret.

but why does he so badly want something to remember his uncle by?

so when he found himself looking at different tattoo designs, he knew that he wasn’t going to be forgetting about this idea any time soon.

he scrolled through many, many ideas. traditional calligraphy. pictures and outlines. but none of them appealed to him. they were all too cliche or not to his liking at all.

and him as a future prosecutor? he rather have a tattoo somewhere hidden so his clients wouldn’t be scared off.

then he finally stumbled upon a photo of someone’s designed tattoo. it was nothing too complicated, minimalistic and in pure black thin ink.

but what struck him was how it was an outline of a man, with spectacles alongside a lady with long hair.

at that moment, he just knew that this was the design he was going to use. he immediately went to flip through different photos of him and his uncle, but as soon as he started looking at the most recent one, his heart sank.

because all he could remember was how angry he felt towards him, and how misunderstood his uncle must have felt. how lonely he was to die alone with no one by his side. how…he died for the sins of another.

a tear slipped as he shut his album. he quickly stored the album back into his cabinet, but a printed picture fell out and fluttered to the floor. picking it up, he managed a small smile.

it was a photo of him and his uncle on his tenth birthday. he was all smiles, in his favourite power rangers shirt, and his uncle, looking so much younger than before, rid of burdens, tears and troubles, actually giving a smile.

it was the most memorable birthday of joonhwi’s, considering that it was one of the birthdays that his uncle gifted him his favourite action figure along with new books and a playstation 2.

staring at the photo, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the times his uncle would come home with different ramyeon flavours and cooked them in a special way.

eighteen years later, he has still not figured out how to recreate the taste of the ramyeon of his childhood.

with that, he took the picture, stuffed it in pocket and headed out the front door of his dorm room.

but he stopped as he locked the dorm room. what would jiho say? or his new girlfriend, sol? tattoos weren’t a big thing in korea. will they shun him, like society does? or will they accept him despite the permanent decision?

just at that moment, sol called him as she asked if he wanted to have lunch. he hesitated, and asked if he could meet her at the entrance of school. sol just hung up and joonhwi went ahead to the entrance.

there, her hair in a high bun and in a simple sweater and shorts, stood his girlfriend of one month. greeting her with a small peck, she blushes as she ask what’s up.

“what? what do you mean what’s up? how do you know im troubled?”

“everything about your voice says it. spill it, what is it?”

joonhwi couldn’t lie, especially not to her. bringing her to sit at the plush chairs of the lobby, he tells her about his want of having a tattoo, how he wants one to remember his uncle by. not the one that died, but the one from his childhood.

“joon, that’s so sweet of you. you sure? it’s permanent, you know. you won’t regret it?”

“no. sol, it’s been on my mind since i was, what, 21? i just never knew what to get. and…you’re not mad? you’re not disapproving of me?”

“how could i? joonhwi, when i said i’ll be rooting for you in your uncle’s place, I meant it. you aren’t impulsive like i am, and you’ve said it. you wanted it since 21. it’s been seven years, I think it’s a decision you won’t let go, no?”

and he finally realises that the entire time he’s talking she’s been smiling the whole time and nodding while holding his hand in his lap.

sol was never one to judge, and he couldn’t have loved her more at that moment when she kissed his knuckles and pulled him up telling him “come on now, let’s go!”

and with that, hand in hand, all thoughts of lunch was forgotten as they headed to the streets of town to a tattoo shop, safely hidden away from the main streets.

joonhwi had done plenty of research for this particular shop. he has seen the work of the artist, the way her steady hands created straight lines and thin minimalist styles of art. it was what he wanted.

nervously, he explained with the lady what he had in mind as the lady sat patiently and listened, tracing the photo over with tracing paper and asking if she could take a photo.

he contacted the lady a couple more times, as she forwarded different designs, styles and artworks over to him. with sol, they spent hours deciding on the best design.

sol and joonhwi went through the designs in secret on their quiet nights at the bleachers as sol pointed out her concerns with one design and he sat, chocolate milk in hand as they zoomed in on the fine details and shortlisted them.

ultimately, they concluded on the one he always wanted; a minimalistic piece that just outlined his uncle and him. no special shadings, colours or anything. thin, neat and simple. his uncle would have liked it, considering how he knows that the only reason why he is neat is because he observed the way his uncle would adjust the books on the table to perfectly align with the edge.

on the day of the appointment, joonhwi thought of where to put it. he knew he had to keep it hidden away, so somewhere on his arm wasn’t the best idea.

“joonhwi, how about your chest?”

“?”

“well…you said you want to hide it, after all, our future jobs aren’t exactly best for tattoos. having it on your chest would be the best, wouldn’t it?”

sol made some sense. it was a good spot to keep it concealed, yet meaningful enough. his uncle was always going to be in his heart and he will always be remembered.

so as the tattoo artist imprinted the design blueprint on his chest, just above his heart, he stared at the mirror with the design.

he was finally doing it.

sol came over behind him as she stepped in front, looking at the tattoo on his bare chest. her fingers traced it lightly before his hand caught hers.

“you sure?”

“i am. i am now.”

“it looks beautiful.”

leaning back onto the chair, sol grabbed onto his hand and squeezed it for comfort.

“if it hurts, just squeeze my hand, alright? it’ll be over in a bit.”

the artist got to work, as she dipped the needle into the ink, needling the ink permanently into his skin. joonhwi’s eyes were shut as he held his breath from the sting.

sol rubbed his biceps as she whispered to him. “you’re okay, it’s alright. shall we get ramyeon or army stew later?”

joonhwi knew sol was trying to distract him. and so he did his best. he chatted about their meals later, what should they do with the next week before they get back to school with their regular lessons. sol suggested to start studying, but joonhwi only agreed if sol were to take it easy and not cram. as a 3L, she didn’t need to faint again.

sol was right, though. distracting him worked, as the artist finally finished her work on him and wiped the blood and ink, before cleaning it. she stuck a clear film on it, and advised him on how to properly care for it for the next two weeks.

as promised, sol and joonhwi dined out at a army stew restaurant in town they always wanted to visit and they had a nice quiet lunch, a rare day for them to be on a date alone and eating out.

jiho found out the night after, as he noticed the different aftercare products on joonhwi’s desk. he didn’t say anything or ask, but nodded in acceptance. (secretly, he thinks his hyung looks cool.)

as they met with the group on casual study sessions, bokgi pointed out the plastic under joonhwi’s white shirt and joonhwi finally announces he has a tattoo.

“HYUNG THAT'S SO COOL WOAH” is what bokgi says before earning a smack from sol who clicks her tongue disapprovingly. “min bokgi, don't get any ideas of having a tattoo!”

bokgi was about to argue back, but realised that he was indeed about to say he wants one too. joonhwi just laughs as he wraps his arm around sol's waist.

when they find out what it meant, they fall silent.

"it's lovely. i think it's poetic" yeseul says, but the tension was still there. they knew how much joonhwi respected, admired, hated, resented his uncle. despite all the emotions and thick tension, joonhwi stood up, "come on, they're serving dakgalbi today, let's discuss our weekend plans over lunch."

two weeks later, as joonhwi removed the bandage on his chest, he smiled at the permanent memory of his uncle, now engraved on his chest above his heart.

maybe he did enjoy his childhood.

his emotions were always temporary. his anger, guilt, shame, happiness, sadness. but one thing he knew he wanted was permanent was his memory of his uncle. the one he grew up loving, the superman he looked up to.

the uncle, seo byungju, that raises him like his own son.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Fifty: Far From Home ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

The worst part about his job? The business trips.

It doesn’t matter how fancy the hotel, how grand the destination, how appealing the attractions of the local area while he’s there.

Because all Sasuke can think about while he’s gone is what he left behind.

He’s only been married for six months now. But that doesn’t mean he misses Hinata any less ardently whenever his father sends him out on these escapades. At least Fugaku gave him some leeway when they were first married: two months without a single excursion from his new wife.

But...work is work, and he couldn’t avoid them forever.

Itachi, of course, is much in the same boat. Fugaku keeps him just as busy, if not more so given his lined up future role as CEO after their father. Add in the fact he’s already got a child, and he’s run ragged...and just as homesick whenever he’s far from home.

This time, they have a rare duo outing. From their home city of Nagoya, they’re to fly to Los Angeles for a new trade deal Fugaku’s got planned. It must be a massive one if he’s sending both brothers.

Packing up his suitcase the day before, Sasuke does his best to look at the bright side. If this deal goes through, both he and his brother have been promised a rather sizeable bonus. Something Sasuke can’t really say no to. After all, the pair are doing their best to save up to leave their (admittedly very nice) apartment for something a bit more…homey. An actual house, to be exact.

Because eventually, they’d like to have a kid or two. Granted, not for a couple of years yet (or so they plan), but it’s never a bad thing to put some money away in the rainy day fund.

...not that either Uchiha brother is underpaid by any means. But, semantics.

Happening to be home from work herself, Hinata’s been helping out with preparations: mostly in regards to making sure all the laundry was done that morning for him to cram into the space he’s allotted in his suitcase. Also helping to round up all his tech he’ll need: laptops, thumb drives, cell phones, and a ridiculous amount of cables and cords. He’s got a rather important presentation to give, after all.

Hence having five copies of it.

Hey, he’s a guy that likes to be prepared.

He even gave one to Itachi to hang onto.

“Okay, here’s the last of it.”

Turning from his position alongside the bed where he’s perched his gear, Sasuke sees Hinata haul in the laundry basket full of newly-folded clothes. “Thanks.”

“I think I might make some lunch - anything sound good?”

“Just something light - I don’t want to risk having an upset stomach on a flight that long.”

Smiling behind a hand, Hinata nods, retreating to do just that.

As she goes, Sasuke’s movements slow, watching her go. He’s going to be gone for nearly two weeks. Granted, most overseas trips are on the longer side. They try to cover more during their opportunity to meet in person, after all. But that means even longer without being home. Without home-cooked meals, a warm body to sleep next to, company to relax with.

Sure, he loves his brother...but his brother’s not a wife. Besides, Fugaku went overboard and got them each their own room.

He’s the type to flaunt.

Mood a bit melancholy, Sasuke finishes up the clothes portion of his packing and decides to save all his gadgets for later. For now, he wants to soak up some wife time before they call it a night. His flight is in the morning, so this is really his last chance until he gets back.

Juggling a few things in the apartment’s kitchen, Hinata glances up at the movement, giving a soft smile. “Taking a break?”

“More like procrastinating.”

Sympathy tinges her expression. “I’m sure it will go quickly.”

“They never go quickly.”

Hinata’s expression then falls to a flat pout. “...I’m trying to be optimistic!”

“I know. And I love that about you.” Coming up behind her, Sasuke just...plunks his chin atop the crown of her head, leaning ever so slightly as she works at the stove. “You’re the sunshine to my clouds.”

That earns him a soft snort. “And you’re the cheese to my crackers - w-what was that line?”

“Me being out of sorts because I’m going to miss you so badly.”

“At least you get to see your brother for a while, right? You two never have any time, since you’re both so busy…”

“...I guess.” In truth, they’ll likely have little downtime to enjoy that time together. But he’s already being a sourpuss, so...he’ll leave that part out. For Hinata’s sake.

They indulge in lunch before Sasuke gets back to packing, making sure he’s got every doodad and thingamabob he’ll need to make this trip work in the tech department. By early afternoon he’s pretty sure he’s got everything stuffed into the case, and he leaves it by the door for a quick exit tomorrow morning.

But for now...it’s lounging time.

They pop in a movie to waste a bit of time, snuggled up on the couch and mostly just zoning out. Or...Sasuke is. Hinata actually looks pretty invested. But she’s always been rather easy to entertain. Which is good. Because Sasuke often lacks a sense of humor that’s not flat and dry, so even he can still make her laugh.

A miracle, really.

By the time the movie ends, it’s time for dinner, which they prepare together now that Sasuke isn’t otherwise preoccupied. Instead, he handles the more mundane parts (the ones Hinata trusts him with) while she does...pretty much everything else.

It’s not that he’s a bad cook, he just...has an aptitude for fire. Even when...there shouldn’t be any fire. Which is why he’s not allowed near anything remotely warm.

Even the microwave is an iffy subject.

From there, Sasuke decides to double check his stuff. Because he will not be happy if he gets all the way to Los Angeles and realizes something is missing. A cord, sure - he can buy a new one. Same with clothes. But some things are rather irreplaceable.

Watching from the couch, curled up with a mug of tea, Hinata lets herself be amused. “Got it all?” she calls once he zips the bag closed for what probably won’t be the last time.

“Think so.”

“It’s a wonder you ever manage to leave for these t-trips with all your fussing,” she can’t help but tease, leaning her head on his shoulder innocently as he plops beside her.

“Not sure my father would consider that an acceptable excuse for missing a flight.”

“Probably not.”

Hinata then starts up knitting, Sasuke leafing through a magazine. He hates how...idle they get when they’re just waiting for him to leave. It feels like they should be doing...more. But what more is there to do?

Besides, well...the obvious. But he’s a little stressed for that. At least, he tells himself, they’re spending time together. Besides, neither of them are particularly...active. In the sense they don’t need to be doing something to enjoy themselves. Companionable quiet is their specialty.

So maybe this is the best way to spend his evening.

“...think we should get to bed? Don’t want to be groggy at the airport.”

“Yeah...I guess so.” He doesn’t want to sleep - sleeping will bring tomorrow all the faster! But in the end he has little choice - there’s no way in hell he’s pulling an all nighter.

Once they’re tucked into bed, he latches onto her with a sigh. “...I hate this.”

A hand brushes his hair consolingly. “I know...me too.” But this is what his job entails. It’s either suck it up, or probably lose speaking privileges with his father if he quits. “You can call me any time.”

“Time zones, Hinata.”

“I don’t care. Any time means any time. If I don’t answer, just...text me instead. I’ll write back when I can, o-okay?”

A nod against her hair.

“...I’m turning out the light now.”

“Okay.”

“You need to sleep now.”

Silence. And then, “...okay.”

Once it’s dark, she shimmies in his grip to give his brow a kiss. “...wake me before you go. I want to see you off.”

“Will do.” Returning the gesture, he holds it a long moment, as though to make it easier to recall once he’s alone. “...night, ‘nata.”

“Goodnight, Sasuke.”

                                                           .oOo.

     An entry this early? What witchcraft is this?! xD ("early" being a very relative term, given it's still after midnight lol)      Admittedly, I've been feeling rather burnt out lately...but that's probably mostly because I have another big project going on: I'm hosting a ship week here on Tumblr! One focusing on OCs paired with canons, lol - and I'm not only hosting, but also participating, so I've been TRYING to get mine done in advanced. It starts Saturday, and I have 3/7 entries done...whoops. But at least 4 is halfway done. Might poke at it a bit more tonight.      BUT ANYWAY, if you notice things are a bit...shorter or seem a bit more rushed for the next ten days or so, that's probably why! Sorry ;;;      As for this piece, it's Sauce being a lil prematurely homesick in modern. Not connected to any other pieces, just...random fluff, lol - I think he's the sort to be lowkey clingy. At least Hinata doesn't mind x3      Anywho, that's all from me tonight! Thanks for reading~

[ofconsequence]

Rewatching A&E’s BATES MOTEL

1x01 (First You Dream, Then You Die)

Wow. Okay, so I am 48 seconds into the episode, and I already have thoughts. Oops. Something tells me it’ll take me awhile to get through every episode if I actually seriously take the time to write everything down... 

Anywho -- obviously, the audience is meant to note the dialogue going on in the background as we pan into Norman’s face. A conversation’s being had on an old movie about a guy who’s gonna move in and live with his mother.

I also find it interesting how many photos are crammed onto the walls, even in such narrow hallways; it must be part of how Norma likes to illustrate this beautiful (but non-existent) life story of hers, a way to play the part of that girl who grew up with a kind, smiling father and a mother who always smelled like cookies. I wonder if playing this part is a way that she copes, too. We know she’s obviously willfully blind to things that cause her pain, or at least refocuses and forces that pain onto somebody else sort’ve deal (say... her eldest baby boy.)

Also -- baseball is on in the background, so we can gather that Sam Bates was a fan of baseball.

And here for the first time they use an empty/unattended kitchen to show Norma’s blatant absence (to be used later in the series when Dylan goes to find her in 4x07, There’s No Place Like Home). (I’ll also pointlessly note the writers seem to use spaghetti as a staple meal for the family, since in only 50 episodes with minimal normal domestic scenes, Dylan was also shown cooking spaghetti in 5x05, Dreams Die First).

And... only 55 seconds in, I’ve paused it again. Dang! Check out Sam Bates’ workshop. The dude must have been handy -- y’know, before he became a total drunk and completely useless. There’s a motorbike in there, too. Looks like it might be stripped? (It’s definitely not the bike we see Dylan driving later, though; totally different build.)

... Heh. I’m five minutes in, now -- just smirking a bit at Norman thinking his room was up in what eventually becomes Dylan’s room. It’s strange, though. There’s a door there left ajar; but I’m fairly certain we don’t ever see that door again later? Either that house was built really weirdly, too, or the folks who designed the sets just weren’t thinking totally straight, becauuuuse...

I can’t for the life of me get the freakin’ layout of this house, man. I know the back end comes out a little more, so it’s more shaped like 

than I think it is but still... Oy... 

Anyways. I love Norma and Norman so much and just want the world for them. My heart aches knowing their chance to start over was thwarted and ended in tragedy. :( I just want to protect them skjdhgs.

Forever amused that Norman Bates was listening to classical music on his iPod. Also amused at how Bradley and her friends sort’ve ambush Norman, haha. You can tell it’s a small town with not a lot of turn around -- they were really curious about him, but I also think it was very kind of them to immediately initiate communication instead of sort’ve shunning him and not welcoming him at all, y’know? Even though we all know how this ends, still. I think it was nice of them to reach out, at least at first, and even if it was ultimately for their own curiousity’s sake. Idk.

Also, straight off the bat in the small glimpse that we saw, I like Miss Watson -- and it’s only because I’m rewatching and know how her relationship with Norman develops that I find her line “You look like a runner” kind’ve a tip off, I’m sure. But I liked how she worded the students’ homework, the tiny glimpse we saw of her teaching style, and I like how she speaks to Norman non accusingly when she laments his grades and seems so genuinely invested in helping him. 

(I also wanna note that even though Norman said they moved a lot, I always pictured they moved around a lot in terms of homes, but always remained in the Scottsdale or more specifically Southern Scottsdale area. It’s a large city after all. No other home besides Norma’s childhood in Ohio and then Arizona was ever mentioned, so that’s just what I’m inferring.) 

Ahh.... this scene where Norman comes home to Norma always makes me cringe so bad. I love Norma, I truly do, but for me, this was one of her worse scenes in terms of me not really liking her so much. But I really appreciate how the writers handled it because it really sums up her parenting style (especially in regards to Norman) super swiftly and very clearly. Random sidenote? I never understood people burning candles at dinner. After dinner, sure, but I’d be scared to knock it over while we’re eating and reaching across the table for things. Like... idk, candles are more a thing you put on a coffee table, mantle or side table rather than a dinner table, imo. 

Keith Summers... I liked you for a fraction of one second, when you walked up those steps and asked Norman how he liked living there so far. Maybe I’m naive, but for that fraction of a second, I remember thinking you were only there to welcome them. Ugh...  Part of me wonders if Keith would have reacted as strongly as he did if Norma hadn’t spoken to him that way (threatening to shoot him), but either way, he did, and we know what he did to god knows how many other girls, too. He deserved a slower death than what he got.

The scene where Norma answers the door and tells Bradley Norman can’t go out reminds me a bit of the dinner scene, but less cringe-worthy; Norma could have known Bradley didn’t intend on bringing her son to the library and wanted to protect him from that, which is more understandable to me than preventing him from joining the track team at school, especially after Keith’s threats about not knowing anything about the town, etc. She doesn’t know what the local kids are like, y’know? And Norman is different, not exactly a partying teen. However, if she didn’t see through Bradley’s fib, well... that’s a little different, and again, referring more back to Norma-esque clingyness rather than a mom just being protective. And if she genuinely believed her excuse (unpacking, stuff to do, blah de blah,) that’s manipulative, too, because they were just sitting there, and you know the writers must’ve included that brief scene for that very reason (to illustrate that Norma was definitely exaggerating.)

I really like the way they showed Norma hesitating and turning around with narrowed eyes during their confrontation after Bradley and her friends left; now that we know Norma does have a reason to be as protective as she is, this was really good foreshadowing. She was scrambling to keep a lid on Norman’s temper, but her own flared up too. The bit that Norman said was another good bit of insight into Norma’s parenting, too. It makes me sad because Dylan would have grown up jealous over that, was jealous over it, even though he knew it wasn’t right (because at least it was something.) I think Dylan realizes just how badly Norma’s smothering affected Norman for the first time when he comes home in the next episode; because it has been three years since they’ve lived together and possibly seen and spoken to one another (at least from what I’m inferring.) He sees Norman and he thinks, “This is no normal teenage dude,” and gets angry with Norma and uses that to put up a front for that jealousy that’s eaten away at him since forever.

Anyway. Back to the current show. lmao I love Norma’s parting words ( “Well maybe you better just stay there the rest of the night, then!” )  It was so realistic, bahah. And Norman throwing his stuffed dog hahah (also LOL stuffed dog, I see wat u did there, writers and / or props department). 

I’ll never get over how “grown up” that party was that Bradley and her buddies took Norman to. But at the same time, I feel like I’m lacking in real world experience -- I literally never went to a party when I was in high school, let alone one full of teenagers with rich parents. I loved how they specifically showed the weed, too. Just little things like that, tiny little hints and foreshadowing -- it just shows that the writers actually wrote at least one season all in one go, not just episode by episode. I wonder whose house that was at, too? It’s a weird setting, can’t really tell if it’s a public building or a home.

And I am literally just realizing for the first time ever that Bradley was drunk in the scene with her and Norman (and then Richard)....... oops.   I kinda hope that Bradley must’ve  done or said something to make Richard so jealous and rude to Norman right off the bat, though. Or maybe he’s just so into Bradley and insecure he’s just douchey like that? I dunno. I mean, at least later in the season he has more of a reason, but their first meeting there, he’s kind’ve a dick for no apparent reason... unless maybe he saw Bradley walking up close to Norman from afar or something, idk. 

... Uuuugh. This next scene. I’m cringing in advance. It’s really hard to watch.  Part of me had to smirk a bit at how Norma was just finishing up cleaning up for the night before everything ends up covered in blood spatter though, even though my gut’s twisting at how all that blood ends up there at all.  Ohhh, sidenote: I mean, we know Norma loves making things beautiful and we often see her clean, but maybe cleaning is cathartic for her? Like maybe the reason she likes cleaning so much is part of her delusion thing (like with all the family photos I mentioned before) or maybe it’s more just cathartic in the sense that it gives her some semblance of control? Random thing that just occurred to me. I’d always kind’ve assumed she liked cleaning just because, but maybe it’s a little deeper, I dunno.

I also love the little realistic shot of Norma smiling to herself, waving off her worries. I think we’ve all done that, haha. (Can you tell I just love all the realistic little tid bits of this show? It all feels so real. Much wow, such quality. :’D)  And I love that  the music tells you just as much as Norma’s suddenly stiffening posture that something in her gut just twisted at that next noise. I’ve felt that “flight” instinct before, and it’s like something wrenches and rips on your insides and all of a sudden you feel like everything is on some strangely extreme level, like your body goes into hyper drive while holding a breath all at once. It’s horrible and makes your heart stop (or beat so fast you can’t feel it anymore.) I really sympathize with her right there, and I can appreciate that she doesn’t step right up to the glass, because when you feel that train wreck in slow motion feeling, you would be much too scared to face the source of your fear that closely. 

Uuugh... god... can anybody watch this scene without grimacing and hugging themselves....? I don’t have anything more to say.... I was watching this scene in a tank top and actually had to put a sweater on because it just makes me feel so uncomfortable... 

It’s too bad Norma or Norman didn’t think to handcuff Keith with his hands behind his back -- but maybe the murder would seem less gruesome this way?? Tho lbr it was pretty gruesome anyways. The sound effects... bah.

Norma’s reaction to everything makes so much more sense and seems less crazy somehow, knowing her back story, understanding where she’s coming from. I mean, it still sucks that she chose to hide the body instead of call it in, yadda yadda, but -- she stabbed him so many times, and then part of it must have been fear, too... she didn’t want people to know she’d been raped, to have that reminder. 

-- How did Jiao get her notebook under the carpet? And why did she leave it there?

Alex is such a dick this episode lmao. Ultimate stoic sheriff. haha.  Maybe he just senses she’s lying or something idk. Which... I guess he probably does, since he asks to look inside. I’ll never understand why neither he nor Shelby smells the body / blood in the bathroom. I mean, unless Romero was rocking a seriously bad UTI and couldn’t smell it over his own piss... >.>  Or maybe the pipes or plumbing already smelled coppery? Or the place is so musty that it muffled out the smell? Idk, idk. To me, this was one of the show’s biggest plot holes right here. Blood reeks. 

Ahhh, dat school cafeteria tho. I kind’ve wonder if Norman hallucinated the spot of blood on his shoe. It was very bright -- dried blood isn’t that red. Maybe this was his first on screen hallucination... And hooray for the introduction of Emma! Man, I can’t get over how much she grew up during the course of this show. She seems so young here.

Okay, honestly, this got rushed about halfway through the episode because my mom came home and I felt awkward pausing it every two minutes like I was to jot something down, and I don’t even feel like writing stuff about the rest of the episode anymore, lmao. But, hey -- this is casual, at my leisure... I doubt anybody else will read this anyways, so I’m basically talking to myself over  here. 

  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On the off chance that anybody else does end up reading this, please let me know so I can be less lazy about this in the future if something similar happens.

[skyereadsthings]

Book Review: Ahsoka by E.K. Johnston

3.5 out of 5 stars, also on Goodreads.

This review is spoiler-free as far as the contents of the book, but I will be alluding to events in the Star Wars prequel trilogy and The Clone Wars.

Ahsoka follows Ahsoka Tano as she navigates the galaxy and avoids the Empire during the tumultuous years after Order 66. She spent a year in relative peace on one planet disguised as a mechanic named Ashla, but the Empire is tightening their grip on the sector and she is forced to leave it behind. She ends up on an Outer Rim moon named Raada and ingratiates herself with the local farmer population. But Raada soon comes to the attention of the ever-expanding Empire. Rather than leave her new friends to their fate, this time Ahsoka decides to stay and help them fight, even though she risks revealing herself as a Clone War veteran and former Jedi Padawan. The story is told mostly from Ahsoka's point of view, with a few other perspectives sprinkled through.

The book is fast-paced, easy to read, and kept me turning the pages. There is one new character (Hedala Fardi) who I am very intrigued by, and I would enjoy seeing her turn up in other tie-ins.

We have a few scenes from Bail Organa's point of view, and these were excellent. I would very much like a companion novel detailing Bail's movements during this same period of the timeline. And seeing him think about and interact with baby Leia was a real treat. We also have some short flashback POVs from Anakin and Obi-Wan that I really enjoyed.

It's a shame that my favourite parts of a novel about Ahsoka are those that had very little to do with Ahsoka herself. In fact part of the reason why I enjoyed these little scenes so much is that they broke up Ahsoka's lacklustre story and gave me a bit of a breather.

Ahsoka fails to shine very brightly on her own, and her scenes are a constant stream of reminders of all of the more memorable characters that she has interacted with. Even for a die-hard prequel fan like me these became incredibly tedious. There is one point where Ahsoka mournfully informs us that the 'little voice in her head' sometimes sounds like Padme. She then proceeds to not think about Padme again, or do anything particularly Padme-inspired, and we never actually hear what this 'little voice' is saying. I don't think it's uncharitable of me to say that the line was a shameless Padme name-drop designed to tug on our heartstrings. And it so easily could have been more! Even a single throwaway line of 'Padme would have suggested/thought/said this...' would have grounded the reference and made it worthwhile.

There are countless other references to Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the other Jedi and clone troopers, but these have a bit more context because of the story so they weren't as jarring.

The writing is much more Middle Grade than YA, and that's not a bad thing at all (I can definitely enjoy a good MG when I'm in the right mood), but it's not what I was expecting going in. After fifty or so pages I actually paused to fact-check myself, and it is indeed marketed as YA. So I have no choice but to judge the writing and plot development as I would any other YA. And if I do that then this book barely rates 3 stars.

The low writing level makes itself painfully apparent in the shoehorning of one particular subplot. Ahsoka begins a little collection (keeping it vague, so as not to spoil), and refers back to it every few chapters. This is ostensibly an attempt to 'weave' the theme of the collection through the larger story, but... it doesn't work. Nothing is woven, because weaving is art; and this subplot is artless, and amounts to jarring reminders of "This thing exists! Don't forget this thing! But I won't give you any further information or clues about it!" at regularly-spaced intervals. And ultimately the resolution is skipped over so quickly that I get the feeling the entire concept was crammed in at the last minute purely to give the novel some canon relevance. Again, like with the 'little voice' above, this could have been easily improved with just a few extra lines and/or the reworking of some lines throughout the book so they weren't all exactly the same.

I have more disappointments that I won't go into any significant detail over. There is a dull unrequited romance that is stuffed in for no reason whatsoever. There are two almost-plots involving Ahsoka which would have been more far interesting as main plots than everything that happens on Raada, but these are both glossed over. The timeline doesn't make all that much sense (the clone troopers are being 'aged out' of the Imperial Army after just one year and have been almost fully replaced by new recruits?). The action scenes were difficult to follow because it seems the author was shying away from showing any actual violence (another reason why this seems more MG), so the battle scenes involve a lot of Ahsoka going to look at what's going on and then coming back to tell her companions what she saw. Actually, that's the overarching theme of this book: Telling instead of showing.

I so badly wanted to like this book, and even when I didn't I so badly wanted to write a good review, because Ahsoka is a great character and she deserved a great standalone tie-in. But this just wasn't it for me. I did tear up at one point, but that was about Artoo, not about Ahsoka. So this book gets one star for Artoo, one for Bail, one for Anakin and Obi-Wan, and half a small star for Ahsoka herself. I still love you, Snips.

I would still recommend the story to all Star Wars/Ahsoka fans, because it was such a quick and easy read that you won't lose anything by indulging.