#i want to wake him up sucking on his big c*ck and have him shove my head down till i cant breathe

[emjiroki]

I'm just having full on Enji brainrot tonight ♡

[absolutepx]

So I've been playing Death Stranding lately. Wait, that's not what this post is about. Well, it kind of is. Hang on. What is Death Stranding about?

A: Norman Reedus getting bare ass naked B. Sneaking around ghosts with the help of your sidekick, an actual baby C: Carrying 50 Amazon packages up a hill while trying to not topple over D: Waking up in the morning and drinking 5 Monster Energy™ for breakfast

For those following along at home, the answer is actually none of the above. Despite the set dressing being bizarre to the point of near absurdity, what the game is actually about, like thematically, is actually really simple.

See, the development of Death Stranding was actually quite a trip. Hideo Kojima is the video game world's equivalent of an auteur director. He has a very recognizable personal style. It's thoroughly horny – he caught a bunch of shit for the design of Quiet in MGSV, but like, a lot of Kojima characters are just -like that-, including the dudes. Also, this is going to possibly be important later.

Anyway, so Kojima was going to do a rebootmakequel of Silent Hill, and the demo actually made it to the PS store and I could actually write a whole side essay about why P.T. (it was called P.T. for some reason btw) was brilliant game design for how it used the same hallway over and over and it was somehow beneficial to the overall feeling of horror. So Konami it turns out kinda sucks nowadays and they like, fired Kojima (they were huge dicks about it behind closed doors, too) and scrapped the project and kicked him out on the street and kept the Metal Gear series which was his baby (literally the baby in the sink in P.T., he snuck a bunch of messaging about the Konami situation into the demo like a breakup album) and Kojima would go on to form his own studio and poach some of the people who worked with him to boot. So the thing about Kojima is this: he's got a reputation for already putting some wild shit in his games, like a ladder that takes like 10 real time minutes to climb in MGS3 for dramatic effect, and a boss in MGS3 that summons the ghosts of all the people you were too lazy to stealth past and killed, or a sniper battle with a really old guy that he wanted to have last two weeks or some shit until he died of old age but he was "told that "this was impossible and not recommended." That is a real quote I just looked up. So he's coming off the heels of making this hugely successful game with MGSV and the hype of the P.T. Demo and he fucking, he like took all the people that were going to be working on P.T. Along like Guillermo Del Toro was going to co-write it and Norman Reedus was going to star in it, and he's like, I'm going to make this game called Death Stranding. And the first trailer comes out for it and it's completely nuts. Norman Reedus wakes up naked on a beach crying with a baby and there are floating people in the sky? So we're all like hooooooly shit, there's no one to tell him "this is impossible and not recommended" anymore. What's he going to make now!?

So the whole time the game is in development I keep seeing these tweets where it'll be like, Kojima and one of his homies smiling with some saccharine message about being spiritual warriors and changing the world. And not just Del Toro and Reedus, there was Mads Mikkelsen (another guy Kojima puts in the game just because he apparently loves him), and the band Chvches, and also like, Keanu Reeves at one point? You know how everyone has just kind of accepted that Keanu is a being of light? Here he was endorsing Kojima. The hype was pretty confused and frantic.

The game eventually comes out. A lot of game journos hate it because I think there was this expectation it was going to be, you know, less weird and have more of the conventional structure of a video game. That's not to say the average gamer wasn't also dismissive of it, but I think on the ground level there was more of an understanding that like, yeah, Kojima just be like that sometimes.

Because the game was a timed console exclusive and your homie don't play like that, I spent the first year or so cautiously viewing Death Stranding from a distance. I wasn't sure I was going to like it – except for being really impressed with P.T., I wasn't actually a big fan of Kojima's games as games – but I -was- sure that I was going to buy it, because of the way Konami fucked him over, just out of support. And the shit I was hearing was really out there. The primary mode of gameplay is just delivery packages. You collect Norman Reedus' bathwater and pee and use it as grenades. You get a motorcycle that looks like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus, and when you sit on it, his character in the game says "Wow, this thing is like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus!"

But I didn't really want to know that much about it. Something has that much fucking crazy person energy, you want to go in mostly blind, right? So maybe people just weren't talking about this, or maybe I wasn't seeing it, but then I watched Girlfriend Reviews' video about it and they came right out and said it (link provided if you want to hear Shelby say it more articulately than me):

Death Stranding is basically about the exact opposite of Twitter. It's about remembering how to be kind to each other, how to reconnect in a world where people are so often hostile to each other by default. Prophetically, it's about a world where people are afraid to go outside or touch other people and how damaging that is. It's not a game about carrying packages, it's a game about helping people by being brave enough to walk through a wasteland carrying their burdens because they can't. It's about rebuilding the lost connections between people, about restoring roads and giving people hope. I bet, for Kojima and the people close to him, it's about how to answer hostility with compassion. You can't kill people in Death Stranding. You can and are absolutely encouraged to fucking throw hands with people sometimes, but all the tools and weapons are nonlethal. So I think Kojima took all the Twitter heat he got over the Quiet nontroversy, and all the feelings of isolation he had from Konami separating him from his team during the end of the development of MGSV, and all the support and encouragement he got from his bros Del Toro and Mads and the rest, and decided to channel that into making a game that was a statement about all of it. And sure, it's a little heavy handed, and sure, it's a little saccharine, and sure, the gameplay sometimes borders on miserable in service of creating emotional payoffs. For me, especially in 2020, this message is a huge success. Social media should be an opportunity for all of us to feel more connected to each other, yet primarily it feels like one of the main forces driving people apart. Why is that? Why is the internet of today such a hostile place? I'm old enough to remember web 1.0: I can haz cheezburger memes; YTMND; the early wild west days of Youtube... What happened to us? I've thrown the blame at Twitter in the past, and I think the architecture of the user experience on Twitter is absolutely a big piece of the puzzle, because it fosters negative interactions. But in terms of the behavior, people have observed that 2018 Twitter was actually almost exactly like 2014 Tumblr. (For the record, Tumblr is now one of the chillest places left on the internet, because so few fucks are left to give.)

I think part of it is the anonymity. The dehumanizing disconnection of the separation of screens and miles. Louis CK, before he was cancelled, had a great point about cyberbullying, and why it's so much more savage than kids are IRL. When you pick on someone in person and you are confronted with seeing the pain you caused them, for most sane people it causes negative feedback and you become disgusted with your actions and eventually learn to stop being a shithead. Online, at best you can "break the wrist, walk away".

At worst, you can become addicted to "clout chasing" and the psychological thrill of being cheered on by your social ingroup. It's even worse if you feel like it's not bullying and your actions are justified because whoever you've targeted is a bad person so you don't have to feel bad about what you do to them. This is where reductive, unhelpful catchphrases like "punch a nazi" come in. For every argument, one or both sides have convinced themselves that the other side is subhuman because their beliefs are so disgusting. And sometimes it's even true! A lot of times, especially these days, people really are acting like animals or worse online. Entire disinformation engines are roaring day and night, churning out garbage and cluttering the social consciousness. (Kojima talked about this bit, too, way back in MGS2. As if I wasn't already in danger of losing my thread through this.)

The human brain was not built to live like this. You can't wake up every morning, roll over and open your phone, and be immediately faced with a tidal wave of anger and indignity. It wasn't built to be aware of fully how horrible the world is at any moment ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME. And you will be. Because of another way that our brain works – the way we are more likely to share negative opinions. And because of the cottage industry built on farming outrage clicks, and because of constant performative activism.

It's not that I don't agree that being informed is important.

It's not that I don't agree that the causes people get riled up about are important.

They are. They absolutely are.

But we can't keep living like this. The constant, unending flood of tragedy, arguments, and hot takes. How much of the negativity we associate with online culture is the product of this feedback loop? What if the rise of doomer culture has been, if not entirely created by, has been nourished and exacerbated by our hostile attitudes toward each other?  Incels and TERFs, white supremacists, radfems, tankies and Trumpers – it seems like on every side of every issue, there are people simultaneously getting it wrong in multiple directions at once and there are more being radicalized every day. They are the toxic waste left behind by the state of discourse. And any hill is a hill worth dying on.

So what am I actually advocating? I don't know. There are a lot of fights going on right now that are important and we can't just climb into bunkers and ignore our problems hoping that Norman Reedus and his fine ass are going to leave the shit we need on our doorsteps. We need to find the strength to carry those hypothetical packages for ourselves sometimes - and hopefully, for others as well. Humans are social creatures. We need interaction and enrichment.

We need love.

So just try to remember the connections between humanity. Try to put more good stuff into the world when you can. Share more shitposts and memes. Tell your friends and family that you love them. Share good news when you hear it. Go on a weird fucking tangent about Death Stranding. Find a way to "be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes."

[earl-of-221b]

noblesse icebreaker

Thank you for tagging me @spectralmelon !

Name/nickname: earl, short for my fav drink earl grey tea

How did you find out about Noblesse?: When I was in the height of my Mangareader phase, I kind of just clicked on Noblesse when the title art was getting featured as one of those ‘recently updated’ manga. (That one old pic of Rai in the white uniform and then a close up of him.) Just because. And then I, someone who had only ever read japanese manga in black and white, was blinded by the full colour art. My brain could not compute. Full colour art? Every page? Every chapter? This manhua artist was a visionary. And there’s like three hundred chapters already.  Story-wise, I got whiplash when the supposed principal of this high school bowed to the Vampire Man™ (who clearly did not look like a high schooler imo but somehow was blending in anyway). But this interaction really interested me - immediately alluding to a history between these characters that I wanted to know. And then Rai started high school and M-21 and M-24 go kekeke~ and Rai couldn’t open doors and them pure jokes about Rai being a fish out of water were delightful. Also, in the early chapters Franken’s power was bright pink! And I gobbled that up I loved his pink killing powers how gorgeous. Yes, murder Mary and Jake with pink neon lightning while grumbling about getting vampire drool on your neat clothes. 

Favorite character(s)? Frankenstein and Raizel of course!

Previous Lord is also fantastique and M-21 will always be there in my heart. (And Tao. And takeo. And Seira and Regis. Sigh.) 

Favorite scene(s)? 

HOnestly, the first time Rai had ramen and thought it was an assassination attempt - this was like so masterfully animated in Awakening it was glorious. 

Rai trying to get out of the house via the window because he felt the need to make sure Franken was ok with Mary and Jake. Mary and Jake. 

SHIT THE FIRST TIME FRANKEN SUMMONED DARK SPEAR??? I WAS SO SHOOK? LIKE YEA FRANKEN TEACH THAT PUNK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE DISRESPECTS YOUR EMPLOYEES IN YOUR SCHOOL

OH MY GOSH Remember that early part where M-21 and M-24 were answering their phone thinking that those noblesses were calling them so early? And they were like shit, M-21, quick, answer it! Be serious! Be vigilant! Can’t let down guard! And it turned out it was just a telemarketer? 

Freaking heck remember when I was totally convinced that Takeo was a lady for his entire entry arc? But anyway Takeo sniping some bad guys. Takeo getting fake-mugged and then getting saved and making friends with the Yeran High group! Shinwoo Yuna Ikhan you guys are so sweet. (Has Suyi arrived yet?) Like. Tao and Takeo hanging with the yeran crew warms my heart, looking back. 

Any time Frankenstein has time alone with Rai. 

Any time the kids are over and trashing Franken’s place and having fun with Rai like you do and Franken twitching slightly in the corner 

The early days where translation was shaky and sometimes Franken called Rai ‘My Lord.’ Loved that shit

Franken walking home with sping onions in his supermarket bag before being captured by yuri. He was just trying to do the shopping. He has a family to feed.

When tao started being himself after been freed from the Union 

When Rai is using his powers in the beginning when it wasn’t all that painful and draining to watch, where we could all cheer guiltlessly as he crushed his enemies with finesse and ease without breaking a sweat

Rai’s blood fields and how beautiful they are when drawn nicely, the different shades of red that seem to glide but we know it’s all destructive force 

Any time Raizel pats Frankenstein’s shoulder in reassurance 

RAI BLUSHING

‘I would be able to experiment and stabilise your bodies. But that depends on Master. You see, I cannot disobey his orders.’ 

‘Really Frankenstein?” or something to that effect, “I recall otherwise”

Cue Franken trying to backtrack^

Any time Rai calls Franken out like that because Franken is Franken and its great

Raskreia pulling RAgnorok

‘Frankenstien caused many incidents. The Clan Leaders used to come to me to complain.’ d e c e a s e d

Frankenstein giving Rai earrings and a ring - and then Rai going ‘it’s not my colour.’ Which was great. But also, in retrospect, Rai probably said those things to try and take Franken’s mind off of bad thoughts like ‘oh no, is the power going to be compatible??????’

Raizel fighting Raskreia. UmPH. 

Frankenstein busting into the temple disheveled and half unclothed, trying to stop Rai from fighting even though he knows he can’t and then Rai reassuring him with a smile. 

Like wow

‘Are you alright, Master?’ 

‘I’m fine, Frankenstein.’ he says with a soft smile

‘There’s no way you can be fine after that.’ Frankenstein oh my gosh. You’ve never said it stark to his face that before Franken. It hurt my soul and I loved it. 

‘Master...that’s the wrong way...’

Ramen experiments. 

Any time Franken mouths off at enemies condescendingly 

Any time Rai makes a bad guy k n e e l

Oh my gosh I just remmbered his killer line ‘This is where your eye meets mine.’

 w r e ck t, j a k e 

That scene where Franken and Rai are having tea. It’s not a happy scene but it was huge. Rai drops his teacup for the first time (graphic) and remind us all that Cadis Etrama di Raizel is not ok and has never been since we’ve seen him awake. Then, worried out of his head, Franken can’t wait for Rai to talk himself and straightforwardly asks what caused his 820y sleep. There were two big things that kept me going with a burning passion while reading Noblesse, and that was

1) Franken and Rai’s history. 

2) With all this talk of traitors and conspiracy, what was this big coup and how were able to put the Noblesse to sleep. How did Rai end up in the box? Why were Franken and Rai parted for so long??? This kept me up at night. ( I expected something much more elaborate than what’s been revealed now but still.)

When the man-bat tried to make his hostage quiet, unassuming, high school uniformed Rai. 

Rai v Urokai and Zarga - AKA the first time Rai pulled out approximately seven blood fields that looked like seven raging red tornadoes when Urokai question his ability. 

Seira and Regis. 

Shinwoo actually beating bad guys up. Shinwoo is a good kid and kind friend 

Everybody’s fav scenes: Whenever Frankenstein goes ‘Allow me,’ and Rai pauses for a moment, ponders upon it, and then agrees. 

Then Franken gets out The Violence and has tangible killing intent spilling from him in throngs that make people question his sanity. This is up there in terms of fav.

Every single time Rai feels the overwhelming need to sigh. 

Rai sighing

Rai stuttering ‘hm....um....hn....’ 

NOnsu and Sangeen making disgusted faces at all this mystical crap going on. Remember when one of the union groups tried to sass them like ‘hahah you like him??’ because nonsu and Sangeen are happily married undercover strike agents

Tao getting Takeo some sweet new pistols and getting M-21 his sweet new optimised nail filer 

Any time someone is Recruited against their knowledge into Raizel’s Knights

Raizel’s Knights doing cool shit. 

Raizel finding out about Raizel’s Knights.

Regis running through the woods trying to fend off central knights encroaching on Rai’s mansion in Lukedonia 

OH. The trio stowing away in the cargo hold of their bosses plane, said plane falling, them wake up in hospital beds and 

M-21 - what’s happening?

Tao - huh?

Takeo - F-freeze! *gun fingers.

Any time ~mind control~ fails to work in the series. LIke Regis failing at F and R. the central knights failing on the trio

Seira calling upon Death Scythe. Seira wielding Death Scythe. Seira silhouetted by a giant spirit god of death. Any time Seira fights with her giant giant scythe 

Frankenstein v Rajak fight!!!!!!! Franken v Rajak fight never saw an end but what a fight!!!

Franken murdering Gradeus. Yes. But most importantly, that one shot of Franken turning his back on his kill, a empty ring of purple where Gradeus had been devoured alive by the souls of the undead in necromantic weapon Dark Spear

Dark Spear. Any time Franken goes ‘Answer my call’ 

Ok ok ok ok the f l a s h b ac k s. All of every major flashback. Gejutel and Ragar running through the woods in pursuit of renegade Frankenstein in laced cuffs and victorian suit in medieval days. 

I loved the scene where we actually see Gejutel fight. The giant sky tearing, body vaporising lance. Regasus was huge. 

Any interaction between Franken and Ragar, good friends

‘I just started working here, hahah’ *scratches head

Everything about Rai is stoic and monumental, Franken asks this great man why he didn’t make him see the Lord and ‘...I forgot.’ 

PREV LORD AND RAI MAKE IT TO THE FRANKEN V UROKAI BATTLE

THIS IS ALSO THE FIRST TIME WE SEE FRANKEN GET POSSSSESSSED BY DS. OH MY 

The brief Franken v Rai fight literally sucked my breath out of my lungs like n o they’re actually going to FIGHT even if it’s not really Franken there but the thought of Franken and Rai fighting is just RIVETING and IMPOSSIBLE and TERRIBLE 

fav fav scene: chapter 295

you guys all know what this is 295 when they made the b o n d 

Franken destroying ninth elder with just words and wit. How dare you speak to him, you traitor of humanity 

tesamu

 A couple of weeks ago when Muzaka stopped what’s known as 废话, useless monologuing/ chatter, and straight up diced second-in-strength werewolf whom I cannot name. Blood went everywhere. Parts rained down like a chunky storm. It was glorious, Muzaka. 

Edian mildly threatening Franken and Franken sticking his head in Rai’s door to tattle on her. 

Forgive me for this list.

Why are you still following it? The characters. Franken and Rai are very important to me. 

How do you like to spend time in the fandom? (“I liveblog the chapters”/ “i roleplay”/ “I draw fanart” / “I like to read fics” etc.)

I write fanfic when I have time! 

Sometimes I sketch some fanart but I’m also prone to the one angle, one face, pencil-only thing. 

Do you have any ships and/or crackships that you’d like to share? When I started writing Who is the Monster, I didn’t ship Franken and Rai. In fact, I’d followed noblesse for a couple of years before finding that, yes, I do like them together. In a world where love feels very...cheap? in media, I don’t really like shipping and platonic relationships just appeal to me more. Unless there’s something that really draws me in I’m not that interested. I mean, there’s doumeki and yashiro, and victor and yuri and other ships that are great! But in the beginning of last year I got into Franken and Rai. Writing Who is the Monster really made me realise that Franken and Rai are romantic to me. Really getting to flesh out what’s up between them and making up in-character interaction changed the direction of the fic. It’s like that saying where - I wrote the characters the way they wanted to go. And where they wanted to go was be in deep love with each other to the point of self destruction. Hm. 

that, and I read other writer’s fics about them and found it so nice

(looking at you, Nerdanel/daylight-star - your rosa de sal - and Laryna6)

(also qdeanna later, your art is <3)

So that’s how I tricked myself into writing a 130k+ slow burn fic. 

My best contribution into the online literary world. 

when all songs on the radio you relate back to Franken and Rai you know things have c h a n g e d

I really want to talk to someone about ____________!

Writing more noblesse fic so I can read it. I want to read more noblesse material. Please write me more fic. I know I’ve been blocked for ages but maybe if you guys write some I can get back into it. I really love Franken and Rai. More Franken and Rai, please. 

I’d like to tag @qdeanna @laryna6 @daylight-star @alexvolkovvlad

[parentingguide8-blog]

19 Parents Who Negotiated With Their Kids and Lost

New Post has been published on https://parentinguideto.com/must-see/19-parents-who-negotiated-with-their-kids-and-lost/

19 Parents Who Negotiated With Their Kids and Lost

In a recent Reddit post, “Never gamble what you aren’t willing to lose,”  parents shared the deals they’ve made with their kids in desperate yet mostly failed attempts to keep some small semblance of their sanity. Call it what you want; bargaining, negotiating, bribery or just flat out lie to yourself and call it a “reward system,” but at the end of the day, one fact remains. A deal is a deal and you better deliver.

I myself have been known to offer a serving or two of rainbow sherbet ice cream (*cough*) before noon, in attempts to appease certain challenging and disgruntled customers, ages 2 and 4.

We’re not perfect. We’re desperate, tired, and there’s an 85% chance that we are in need of a shower. We do what we gotta do. Don’t judge us. OR actually, go ahead. But perhaps a scoop of sherbet would temporarily quiet your criticisms? Hmm?

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Take comfort in these deals that parents made with their kids, and know that you are not alone in your daily parenting bribery tactics nor are you the only parent who totally sucks at the fine art of negotiation.

Just today I negotiated a deal with my four-year-old. Nothing fancy, just a good old-fashioned bribe to get him the hell out of my car. The terms were simple enough. If he went to preschool, then we would stop by grandma’s house afterward.

Why did I do such a thing? Well, like I said, he’s four, you see, and his tiny knees have yet to be worn down from carrying the heavy burdens of life. When in the car, the tiny evil genius extends his legs and presses his feet against the back of my driver’s seat in protest, locking his small yet sturdy knees like the jaws of life.

After this tired, desperate, and disheveled mom had tried everything short of a public-middle-of-the-street-mother-son-wrestling-match, I caved. Of course, he insisted on a brief verbal confirmation from grandma via FaceTime before agreeing to the terms.

I wiped the sweat from my brow and my son’s tiny locked knees instantaneously released and off he went with a taunting skip in his step.

What can I say? I’m just a mom, standing in front of a little boy, begging him to go away so she can be alone for four glorious hours. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, I’m also a mom who is going to have to take my son to visit grandma every day after school for the foreseeable future.

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“Never gamble what you aren’t willing to lose.”

I know it’s tempting but you shouldn’t offer your kids sweet things to complete tasks.

The little monster immediately cleaned his room and I had to share my cake with him.

–u/Drunk_monk37

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Parents, be prepared to pay the piper.

Ya I bribed my toddler with “candy” (fruit snacks) to take her antibiotics, and for dayyyyyys after she was done with the meds, she’d come up to me and say “mecine?”

I asked her if she had an owie and she says “no, candy” HAHA

– oh_ya_you_betcha

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Whatever it takes.

I’m potty training my kid with Hershey kisses. DONT JUDGE ME, he’s my fourth and he’s three and I’m done with fuc*ing diapers already.

–RawketLeeg

NO judgment here. I hear you. I feel your pain. Just get through the day mama, one Hershey’s Kiss at a time.

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We’re all in this together.

Man, I’m using lollipops. I am just done with poop everywhere. Haha, good luck mama.

–RawketLeeg

This next mama really set herself up with this potty training bribe…

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This mom’s potty training deal with her toddler ended up having some unexpected implications…

My kid was fine with potty except for poop… so we started giving him the occasional Hot Wheel when he would poop in the toilet…

Months later, we still get: Mommy, look at my poop! It’s big so I get a big car!

–PaperclipGirl

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This mom seems to have found a deal that she can stick with.

Potty training my 2-year-old at the moment, thank f*ck she loves stickers.

–AvatarIII

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And every once in awhile, everyone wins.

By the time we got to the last one, we taped a bunch of random candy and dollar store toys to the bathroom wall. If he pooped in the potty he could choose his prize.

My prize was never buying or changing another diaper and I was more than willing to bribe my way across the finish line.

–twinkie45

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Never forget who you’re dealing with.

I used to do the deal thing too. Then one day my 4-year-old pulls this out:

“Well daddy, I took your deal and I changed it. I will not clean up the markers and still get a cookie. That’s the new deal.”

Ok, Darth Vader.

–boxidea

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Moms can have their cake and clean it up, too.

My best friend’s nearly 4-year-old was eating [cake] and getting crumbs all over the floor which had just been cleaned.

“Kathryn, please help mommy clean up all these crumbs.” “No.” “Ok, Kathryn, you can either help mommy or go to time out.”

Wheels obviously turning in Kathryn’s head. “Ok, I’ll go to time out!”

She happily skipped over to the time out area and my BFF cleaned up crumbs…at least she didn’t have to share cake!

–zoyaheaven

This kid could be the next host of “Let’s Make a Deal.”

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Kids learn so quickly, in some cases… too quickly.

I used to always say, “I’ll make you a deal,” to my son and then go on to say if you do this, you can have this.

Then my son started saying that to me when I would ask him to do something. “Buddy please clean up your room.”

“Okay, mama, I’ll make you a deal…” I had to clear up who is the dealmaker real quick….and I also stopped doing that. 😀

–PotatoKingMom

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Twenty-year commitment for a 20-minute chore? This mom really got the short end of the stick with this deal.

Made this mistake recently. We were thinking about getting a new kitten. Found one about 45 minutes away. Told my 11 yr old daughter that if she cleaned her room in 30 minutes, we’d go look at and possibly get the kitten.

She had to fold all of her clothes and put them away, as well, because she’d just rearranged her furniture. I thought she’d never be able to do it.

Well, she did. Room looked great. Went to look at the kitten. Adopted him. He had an upper respiratory infection that we didn’t know about until a few days after when it started showing symptoms.

We made the mistake of introducing him to our other cats a couple of days after adopting. $500 in vet bills later, her room is messy again.

–The_Wicked_Ginja

We wonder who in the world changes the litter box every time? Actually no. We don’t. It’s mom. Apparently, some parents must learn the hard way.

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This next kid is smart. And slightly scary.

My nephew, when he was in daycare would hit another child at cleanup time so he would go on timeout and not have to clean.

–Jesus_marley

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Clever girl. Violent… but clever, nonetheless.

My own kid would do the same when she didn’t want to be at school that day. She knew that if she hit someone they would call for us to come to get her.

We had to sit down with the staff and explain that they were rewarding her for her behavior. After they stopped sending her home, she stopped hitting.

–Jesus_marley

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This mom called her kid’s bluff and straight shut him down.

Mine did this, except making himself throw up, rather than hitting.

Once I made a rule that if he was too sick to be at school, he was too sick for Xbox, tablet, or computer, he stopped.

-firead

This next mom didn’t have to work quite so hard to get her kid to behave…

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And just when you least expect it, they’ll surprise you.

So the other day my kid was playing with the tablet and begged me to let him continue playing when I went to take it away.

I said “Ok, you can play, but no ice cream later” knowing full well he wouldn’t give up ice cream.

“OK, fine.”

“Well, shit.” I thought to myself “there is no way when we go to get ice cream later that he isn’t going to go into full meltdown because he can’t have any. I really screwed myself here.”

So we get ice cream later and, lo and behold, not only does he not have a melt-down, he doesn’t even ask for any. He just sits there content, totally happy with the deal we made.

–EatATaco

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Apparently, negotiating with children can be risky business. And not like young Tom Cruise in whitey-tighties ‘Risky Business.’ But like ‘anarcho-capitalistic’ risky business.

Yeah, I can imagine that once kids are smart enough to do some cost-benefit analysis, the “deals” start to backfire.

I’ve heard similar stories when parents try to put a dollar or reward value on individual chores.

It will sometimes evolve into an anarcho-capitalist free market in their home, where the kids see everything as an opportunity to haggle or refuse chores because they don’t need any money right now.

–feistypenguin

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Bargain all you want but there ain’t no way around it.

Also never promise kids stuff to get them to go to sleep because they’ll wake up extra early and call in that debt of yours.

 –turtlewars

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A deal is a deal.

When I was just about to turn 11 my friend’s cat was pregnant with kittens. I ask my dad if I can have a kitten and he says, full of sarcasm and smug disbelief that it’d actually happen “Yeah, if they’re born on your birthday.”

Birthday arrives and my friend calls screaming “They’re being born! It’s your birthday! Omg!”

My dad didn’t believe me until he called the parents to confirm they were indeed born that day. I got a kitten.

–OstentatiousSock

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So, what have we learned?

Whether it’s a Hershey’s kiss or an expensive cat, one fact remains; ultimately, we will pay. We will always pay. We’re parents. It’s a part of the deal. Also, never, I repeat, never resort to pet bribery. Ever. Not even highly unlikely, hypothetical negotiations.

Have you ever made a deal with the devil, ahem, excuse me, I mean, your child? How’d that work out for ya?!

Share this with someone you know who’s paid the price of negotiating with their kiddo!

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Read more: http://twentytwowords.com/

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Description:

Prefer To Watch The Video? >>

Because this sequence activates 3 Sexual Triggers in the female mind (located on the right side of the prefrontal cortex).

It has already been used by a private test group of over 300 men ranging from age 21-64, and is guaranteed to get her tugging on your zipper with a hungry look in her eyes and a naughty smile on her lips, because she can’t wait to suck you until your balls are completely drained

For most guys the female mind is a mystery but not because women are complicated (once you realize a few things laid out below)

But because women must keep their sexual nature locked up like a bank vault

Which keeps you confused and frustrated when it comes to getting the blowjobs you want and truly deserve

There are a lot of prudes who are offended by this. And angry feminists who hate men and don’t want you to know what I’m about to teach you

In fact this page has already been taken down twice. I actually had to bribe some people just to put it back up for a couple days

The information below will change your life

So before the blowjob nazis manage to get this page taken down yet again

Take advantage of this opportunity and read the whole thing

Because you’re minutes away from learning a proven tactic To program a woman’s mind so that making you cum with her mouth becomes her new passion in life

In fact, she’ll become obsessed with giving you the best blowjob you’ve ever had… every time she gets on her knees!

If your wife or girlfriend has stopped giving you blow jobs you are probably making this mistake

But once fixed, you will instantly rekindle the fire

And make her hungry for your manhood once again…

“Who is this bastard claiming he can make any woman love sucking c*ck like her life depended on it?”

And why would he ever want to share this secret?

Well, since I’m already getting a ton of hate mail for making this training, I have to protect my identity

And I’m a regular guy with average looks, and I’m a bit overweight

I grew up in the midwest – I like baseball, beer, and of course blowjobs. Except…

And just like the combination to a safe, once you know this sequence you can crack open a woman’s mouth any time you want

Over 10 years ago, I set out to find the key to unlock unlimited blowjobs

And because of this discovery I’ve unintentionally found myself in a sort of ‘teacher role’ to men from all backgrounds ages, and walks of life, showing you how to live the sex life of your dreams

If you’re NOT getting the type of oral action you truly want

I’ll show you in a minute why it’s not your fault and you’re definitely not alone

Now sure, it can be frustrating knowing THERE ARE guys out there getting more top-notch oral service than they can handle

But let’s face it – any normal man who knows this secret has zero motivation to share the knowledge

Because it’s my mission to help men going through the same struggles I went through

So to help you make sense of this SYSTEM – and to learn it’s secret to make any woman excited to open her mouth and invite you in – I need to tell you an embarrassing personal story

So awhile back, I was laughing about old times with my buddy Dave at a local bar… a news story came on the TV about the ‘economic recession’

He looks down into his beer and says:

“Recession? man I’m in a BLOWOB DEPRESSION!

I laughed so hard I couldn’t breath… but then looked up and saw he really was depressed!

Now Dave has been my best friend since my first job out of college. He’s crazy smart, stays in shape and makes multiple 6-figures (and he’s got a smoking hot wife…)

So I was surprised to hear him complaining about his sex life

I did my best to keep a straight face and asked him, “What’s going on?”

Talking about younger days had reminded him of all the hot chicks he hooked up with , and all the awesome blowjobs he used to get…

He had finally settled down with Sandra , a girl he met senior year

i asked him, “Hey weren’t you always bragging about how Sandra gave amazing head?

He said “Yeah, but she’s changed…”

And on those rare occasions he could tell she wasn’t into it

He almost had to beg her only for her to act like she was doing him a chore just to shut him up

The sad truth is this is normal for most men

A lot of guys struggle to even get blown by new girls they date!

Now I can’t say I exactly felt sorry for Dave

When we were younger I was secretly jealous because he was popular and blessed with good looks, so he naturally got a lot of female attention

Me – I’ve always been more of a quiet thinking type of guy… which made it harder for me to hook up with girls

In fact during my entire college experience I WAS A COMPLETE DUD.

After bitterly looking back at all the opportunities with girls I MISSED OUT on , I had to face reality and figure out how to get what I really wanted from women.

Well I’ve always been obsessed with getting blowjobs from girls

As a teenager I remember sitting in class, looking at the cute girls imagining naughty things… wishing there was way to skip the flowers and sweet talk, and just get my young wiener between their braces!

To this day, nothing is better to me than a mouth hug from a hot girl

But I used to think I had to get lucky if I wanted a BJ

I never imagined there could be an actual code to get head on command

It took a string of tough dating experiences — and tons of trial and error to uncover it

I won’t bore you with every detail

But you’ll need a quick rundown of key lessons I learned to guarantee yourself sloppy head from sexy women whenever you want!

First there was Laura, my only girlfriend in high school

She was a total Nympho…

I didn’t know how to set the mood without fumbling, so we didn’t fool around much. I didn’t realize that the whole time she was running around blowing other guys. When I found out I felt like I was the good guy and she was the bad girl

Years later I finally learned that every girl likes to get naughty, and if I don’t give her the chance to do it with me, she’s going to get bored and think about other guys

I struggled for over a decade to figure out how to satisfy women

Now you might be thinking: “Hey, blowjobs are for my satisfaction!

And that’s exactly what I thought… which is why I struggled to get them consistently (you’ll see how to flip this around in a minute)

I might have never gotten the lesson through my thick skull if someone hadn’t yelled it loud and clear…

Years later I was hanging out with some friends one night when one girl I barely knew drunkenly proclaimed that

Well everyone laughed and looked at her strange

It was like spotting a mythical creature in the wild which I’d been hunting for years

I’d always hoped girls like this existed, but had never met one until then!

So when I ran into her a week later I invited her to smoke weed back at my place

(it was the best excuse I could think of)

After we got high I brought up her oral fixation and she gave me a timid but pleasant blowjob

— but when I tried to talk to her a few days later she acted aloof

I had no clue what I did wrong!

That almost pissed me off MORE than if nothing had gone down between us at all

I had finally gotten some lucky head and I should have been happy

“But I still didn’t know what I had done wrong to make her never want to do it again!

I had unknowingly destroyed this girl’s desire to give me head

–> There were more examples of this exact same pattern with other women, but here’s the point:

Some even started out loving oral sex but soon quit

I finally figured out WHY, which I’m about to explain so keep reading…

See it became painfully obvious I had no actual control over my sex and dating life

Sure, I had a few lucky encounters but even those I would still run into the ground

These small glimpses of success convinced me I could figure this out

So I became even more focused and motivated

Long story short I spent several YEARS devoted to figuring this out

I became a mad scientist researching, experimenting and taking notes

Finding powerful hacks to have a girl craving my c*ck in her warm wet mouth

I finally knew I cracked the code one night at a bar in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago when I met a thin Latina with wavy hair and HUGE natural tits…

…talked to her for maybe 10 minutes and quickly had her on her knees in the alley around the corner. I came so much she drooled some of it down her neck

She wiped her chin clean as she giggled, but she missed a big white glob on top of her cleavage…

Before I could say anything she scampered back to her friends waiting inside!

From then on she’d stop by after work 2-3 times a week just to blow me.

The feeling of absolute certainty that I was about to enjoy a passionate sloppy-wet gagging blowjob was the most confident & exciting feeling I’d ever known

She’d come in the door, hug me while placing her hand on the bulge in my jeans

Moan hungrily… and then gently push me on to the couch…

Then put a pillow down, drop to her knees and GET TO WORK. She even started bragging about me to the girls at her office job

Convincing two of them to come over with her so they could “share” me

Here’s a screenshot I saved of an actual text she sent:

I eventually moved out of Chicago but ever since then…

I’ve trained dozens more women to be MY OWN PERSONAL BLOWJOB QUEENS, all on auto-pilot

My guy friends noticed all the new hot girls coming over to my place almost every day of the week. They kept asking how the hell I did it

So I put all my notes together into a simple, organized structure and typed it up into a guide (an early draft what I’m about to share with you)

Remember the feeling of POWER I mentioned when the big-tittie latina came over? Well before I emailed my system to my friends, I decided to give it an official name: The BJ Power Play

You know how some guys have a girl from their past… a ‘naughty angel’ who gave mind-blowing head? Well Malik turned his current girlfriend into ‘that girl’

There were bumps along the way but each guy gave me feedback to help refine the BJPP System to be deadly efficient and completely fool-proof

In fact we all got so good my friends began referring me to other men who were struggling, many of whom offered me money because they assumed I was charging for such valuable information

Don’t get me wrong I gladly took the money, but I realized how much I enjoy helping other men succeed with women

It made my years of struggle much more satisfying

Sure, it was great to finally fix the ‘women & blowjobs’ issue for myself. But to see other men’s lives improve convinced me to do this for a living

The problem is, new ideas are usually met with doubt and denial…

So what does this have to do with you getting more blowjobs?

Well common sense and conventional “pop wisdom�� can sometimes be WORSE THAN WRONG

It can be the very thing hurting your results with women!

The invisible factor destroying your ability to BANG HOT GIRLS and keep them anxious to please you with passionate tongue action.

Listen, there are basically three groups of people who feed you LIES about women

They obviously have a good reason for misleading you. It’s human nature to want the *whole pie*

And a guy that has a natural gift with chicks won’t give you helpful advice. Instead he brags in vague terms making it sound like women are magically drawn to him

Or says USELESS things like:

“You just gotta be confident” (yeah thanks, dude)

See he isn’t better or smarter than you… Typically he had a couple experiences with girls at a young age and merely stumbled onto some things that worked for him.

He sticks with those things while honing his technique until he’s ‘a natural’

Women hide what REALLY makes them enjoy sucking d*ck… but they have their reasons…

First – women play the ‘good girl’ role to avoid getting labeled as ‘easy’ or ‘dirty’. But they also need to test you to see if you know the truth despite her act

It seems unfair but this filters out men who would be bad lovers. Just like you screen for a pretty face and a nice body – she screens out losers

But Here’s The Good News

I’m going to show you how to get all the blowjob love naturals get, without changing your personality

See naturals tend to have their way with women, simply because they DON’T believe the lies of the third group…

Movies, TV shows, ‘news’, and even porn have all been brainwashing you to think you need to be

To get the girls and sex life you really desire

Thay’ve infiltrated every aspect of society ,

They preach about sex as if it’s something bad men do TO women

They are jealous of women who are sweet, feminine, and enjoy sex

These angry women have HIJACKED our society over the past century.

They exert IMMENSE influence over government, education, business, and most importantly… the media

Any time a guy likes a girl on tv he’s portrayed as either a timid doofus -or- a horny sleazeball

And women are portrayed as smart, ‘strong & independent’ , yet innocent, pure little damsels. Rolling their eyes and mocking a man when he shows interest

This message sneaks through every time we turn on the tv or read articles online.

These femini-nazis brainwash women into feeling ashamed for their natural desire for d*ck , and make men feel guilty for wanting to give it to them

Men and women carry around unnatural guilt and shame about sex, which keeps your sexual energy bottled up… ..and stops women from helping you release all that tension (which they naturally WANT to do btw).Women love to deep-throat take facials, swallow, gag, moan, hum, and slobber all over your c*ck…

As long as it’s attached to a guy who can make her feel 3 emotional triggers

Which you’ll learn when I explain the 3 tips I promised you.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you probably feel like women take work

You are making an effort but not getting the results you want

I’m going to show you an easier way that is also fun, fast… and so incredibly effective… your woman will be bragging to her girlfriends about how lucky she is to suck your c*ck!

This is because of something called “The Present Problem”

Which sounds weird but it’s an easy fix to get her going down again

Let’s get into how to fix all this with the 3 tips I promised, so you can get the oral service you really want… and deserve

Some of this might sound shocking… or hard-to-believe

But ONLY IF you’ve never experienced it for yourself

First remember that there are guys getting the kind of head you want…

They are getting different results, because they are doing different actions. And they are doing different actions because they understand some things that you do not

HERES THE HARD TRUTH YOU MUST FACE: the man has control over how a woman sees oral sex

But women cannot, and WILL NOT admit this out loud , because they must test you to see if you already know this secret.

Many men struggle to get sexual satisfaction because they don’t know this fact. The rare men in the ‘inner circle’ won’t tell you because they want the whole pie for themselves. And the media won’t show you, because they profit by keeping you frustrated

… then all the hot chicks will appear

Years ago I questioned my assumptions and asked:

What if ALL women already have the potential to love blow jobs as much men

Then I discovered some almost forgotten scientific studies on female sexuality from decades ago

As well as brand new research coming out that no one was talking about!

Remember, I was already getting much better results with women than the average guy

So much so, that men were paying me thousands just for coaching

So when I looked at these studies I saw connections the average guy probably wouldn’t notice

So what makes a woman love (or hate) a sexual experience?

Meaning is how you think about a thing or an event

In other words it’s all in her mind. And it’s easy to change this when you know what you are doing.

Let’s use an example from the world of fine art. We’ve all seen those abstract paintings that look like a child threw paint on a canvas. Yes, people will pay thousands to hang it on their wall because of their ideas ABOUT it

Ever notice how sometimes before sex women ask: “What are you’re thinking about?” -or- “How do you feel about me?”

She wants to know what you think the meaning is so you can define it for her!

You’ve probably heard women say they want ‘meaningful sex’. However, this doesn’t mean she wants lovey-dovey sappy romance

Whether it’s sex, a blowjob, or any intimate encounter, women are turned on (or off) by the STORY about the act… WHY it’s happening… and what it MEANS to you!

This is why women prefer romance novels (stories) over typical porn videos

In porn you see the woman sucking some random ‘dick without a face’

There’s no meaning , just the act

But in a romance novel the woman desperately drops to her knees for the mysterious knight…

To reach him EMOTIONALLY because that’s how she gets HER pleasure

(hint of whats coming: you will learn how to satisfy her emotionally just from YOUR HARD-ON being in her mouth!)

As a guy, you just like the feeling of her soft lips gliding up and down your dick

And of course the view: HER BIG PRETTY EYES looking up at you while her cheeks vacuum seal around your shaft

But she enjoys it most because of her thoughts about it, and the emotions those thoughts TRIGGER

And that’s what I mean by ‘meaning’

There are 3 triggers you will use to create Meaning for her

So she becomes obsessed with pleasuring you with her mouth better and better every time

● Power-Flux ● Framing ● Inclusion

Now the 1st tip has to do with ‘Power Flux’

If you have a wife or girlfriend that stopped giving you blow jobs or never even started…. odds are you made two common mistakes:

First you probably weren’t responding in a way that turned her on (more on that in a sec, and NO it’s not like guys do in porn videos)

The second mistake guys make in relationships is they let the woman get the idea that she’s got you locked down and doesn’t have to worry about losing you

Now you may not realize this because she’s not gonna just come out and say “I’m the boss now”. And yes, it’s normal to relax once you settle down with a girl

But if you’re less dominant she’ll feel less submissive. She might feel you’ve lost your edge or what psychologists call ‘Influential Authority’. And when you regain authority she will want to get on her knees for you

Now the next step is to build her sense of power when she does

That might sound strange because she’s the one kneeling choking on your c*ck

But she’ll actually feel like she’s in control during a blowjob

Which will be incredibly exciting for her if she sees you as dominant the rest of the time

And this is what I mean by ‘Power-Flux’

Now the cool thing about Power-Flux is you can build her confidence quickly

Because she sees you as the authority

So now when you express your pleasure she believes you

But also feels challenged to improve her skills even more

You may not have realized but many women avoid blowjobs because they lack confidence (more on how to fix this later)

Now as I said, you should NEVER beg for blowjobs or try to ‘talk her into it’

This actually kills her desire to go down on you

And even if she does both of you will see it as a chore and a barter

Because that’s how you told her to see it

What if instead she felt excited and proud to have the privilege of serving you by giving your HARD SHAFT a tongue bath!

So let’s get into the 2nd tip which is all about ‘Framing’

Growing up I had a buddy who was a natural ‘player’

He was notorious for getting girls to suck him off anytime, anyplace

In his car, at the park, even in the high school bathroom!

We’ve stayed in touch over the years so I asked for his input on all this blowjob stuff…

“First of all, she shouldn’t be surprised when you want head… she should already know what’s up…”

This was interesting because he’s actually talking about a psychology concept called ‘Personality Consistency’

If you act a certain way from the start and don’t change she will follow your lead

We all have a sensitive radar for inconsistency in behavior, because it signals bad intentions dishonesty or both. When her ‘Inconsistent Alarm’ goes off she gets creeped out.

Have you eveer known a guy that always jokes with women in a sexual way?

Do his female friends get offended or just sigh and say:

“Oh that’s just how he is!” — ???

BUT… If a guy who’s polite and proper starts to get sexual, then women will act offended, but they are really just creeped out because their ‘inconsistency alarm’ is going off

So you must let a woman know what kind of guy you are from the get-go!!!

Now here’s the second thing Devin told me:

“Girls try to run their own game by acting like they’re doing YOU a favor just by talking to you …But you can’t let her play that… Chicks like dick more than they let on so you gotta treat it like it’s HER trophy”

Devin is talking about how women take control of the frame and how to take it back

You need to immediately set the frame that it’s her privilege to put your dick in her mouth

If that sounds weird, think about this:

If you suck on a woman’s breasts don’t you feel privileged?

She is the one getting stimulated and pleasured, yet you might feel like you are getting something… Almost like her body is a gift or reward from her to you

In the same way, your cock can be a gift to her!

The difference is you can see a nice set of tits and get turned on without seeing the woman’s face or knowing her as a person

A woman can love how a d*ck looks and feels, but only when she feels connected to the man it’s attached to

This is why it’s possible for her to feel like she’s receiving a gift when she puts your c*ck in her mouth! So you need her to go down within the right frame…

…which is super easy because it all comes down to timing…

IF you show sexual interest BEFORE she thinks she earned it, you lower the value of your dick

This is why a woman won’t give her number out until after some conversation. She wants to also think her personality won you over instead of you just being a horny bastard.

If you give away the trophy BEFORE the game, the trophy has no… MEANING!

You will use the tactics in *The BJ Power Play Sequence* to easily create a ramp of bait & reward

So your cock will be like a gift from santa on christmas morning

And she’ll cherish the chance to play with her new toy!

And now that she’s on the blowjob diet plan

● deep-throating ● swallowing ● facials ● dirty talk

By using a powerful psychological technique called ‘Inclusion’ to turn blowjobs into a bonding activity between you and your woman -which is perfect if you use the ‘Power Play sequence on your wife or girlfriend- because she already loves you and feels close to you…

But you can also use this with a girl you just met

And crazy as it sounds, it will turn oral sex into a shortcut to make her fall in love with you

Because the better she makes you feel, the more fulfilled SHE feels

And the happier you make her WITH YOUR C*OCK

In fact she’d rather please you as long as it brings you closer together

You actually owe it to her to teach her exactly how to please you so she can feel happy and satisfied

Whether it’s a casual fling or a 30 year marriage, it’s every woman’s desire to please her man like no one else can

Satisfying your kinks are the perfect way to make her feel special… like a real woman

Then gets her addicted to it by using a type of trance language very few people outside of psychology research know about

You will use it to heighten her senses and soak her panties no matter what she’s doing

This is why they love pedicures massages, scented candles, chocolate, etc… anything that lights up the senses

Women are hyper-responsive to sensual language because language creates… meaning!

But women are especially sensitive in their mouths

Hence the phrase ‘oral fixation’ which almost always pertains to females

After all my research, I’ve found that almost every woman thinks of her mouth as an erogenous zone

This means you can use powerful sensual code words & phrases’ to make her focus on her oral sense

You can get a woman to do all those dirty, wild things you’ve always fantasized about

It will make her super confident in her ability to please you — making her want to do it more and more

And since women are so competitive and love to trade notes on their sex lives she might even start bragging to her friends and invite them over for a friendly ‘competition’ on your cock! (like the girl I mentioned earlier)

As you can see the possibilities are endless when you know the BJ Power Play System

I know that was a lot of information, so what’s the next step?

The 1st Option is to do nothing

Stay frustrated keep jerking off to porn and feeling pathetic afterwards

Remain a slave to the modern man-hating feminist agenda, hell bent on stopping men AND women alike from feeling any sexual satisfaction or excitement

Option 2 is you can take all the information I just gave you and run with it

In fact just knowing the basics of what we went over puts you ahead of most men

And if you want to uncover the rest of this system yourself you can try to put the pieces together alone, like it took me 10 years to do

It’ll be a much harder longer path of trial and error… if you ever actually nail it

But the 3rd Option is the guaranteed fast-track to blow job heaven

Hundreds of guys from all backgrounds and experience levels are already using the most powerful and practical system to turn girls into their own dedicated Blowjob Junkies

But that’s barely the tip… (ahem) of the iceberg because I get emails and messages every day from men saying the same thing because the BJ Power Play is a simple step-by-step system that teaches you how to program a woman’s mind so she can’t stop sucking you off and licking up your man-milk and perfecting her performance to be just the way you like it…

BJPP is an actual SYSTEM, not just a bullshit collection of ideas you may have heard or read around the web.

It’s not anything you can find on YouTube, or in men’s magazines – which are simply created to sell ads for protein powders, cars, cigarettes, expensive clothes, and prescription medications (ahem Viagra)

It’s NOT just a single ebook file. BJPP comes complete with videos, audios, documents, case studies, and more (check out the bonuses I’m including for you TODAY ONLY)

Aside from that, you’ve heard enough bullshit in your life. You’ve heard it all:

But has it gotten what you want?

My ultimate big picture goal is to see men and women form passionate loving relationships so both of you are happy and satisfied

My promise to you is when you follow this system you will be BLOWN AWAY by the results (pun definitely intended)

Now you might be thinking I could charge thousands of dollars for this system because it’s already proven to work

…and you’d be right… I could

I want to help as many guys as possible… guys who don’t want to wait

Which is why I’m making the BJPP system available for a huge discount

I’m lowering the price to reach as many men as possible, while time lasts, before another blowjob nazi gets this page taken down

But I’m making the deal even sweeter… so sweet it hurts, because I have some incredible supplemental material to speed up your results

In the Private PCR Workshop videos you get unprecedented look inside an elite alumni coaching program where I demonstrate the BJPP sequence on video, and answer questions from advanced students who paid thousands to be there

In another bonus video I demonstrate ‘The ER Cycle’ – a super simple technique to turn up the heat once you get a girl alone

This technique as is so consistent I use it almost every time I meet a girl (I can’t recall it ever not working)

Now, when you can get a woman alone you will get her naked, horny, and ready to open her mouth, or her legs, it’s up to you!

“How To Get Blowjobs: Female Psychology”

When women talk about sex they almost always lie to filter out men who are not in-the-know. But in these videos I show you what to watch for and how to listen – exposing real women and how they really think despite what they say. It’s like translating woman-speak in real-time so you can break out of the mental matrix

I recorded a groundbreaking interview with Maria J…. one of my favorite blowjob girls

This one goes long and (ahem) deep over 2 hours of Maria opening up explaining exactly to do and say to get a sexy woman like her addicted to sucking your dick

Now she wasn’t like that until she met me but as mentioned… she had the potential

Any straight woman is the same. Now YOU ARE the man that brings her potential into reality

There is nothing else like this interview… anywhere (you might have heard other so-called “interviews” , but they are always by a guy interviewing A GIRL HE’S NEVER ACTUALLY SLEPT WITH HIMSELF! This is a huge deal because women will ONLY be open & tell the truth with someone she’s slept with before! I wouldn’t give you anything less – that’s what you get with this bonus Maria Interview )

I give you a bonus collection of detailed real-life case studies

These case studies show even more examples of how to get blowjobs fast from all types of women in many different situations…

… And more importantly, how to keep them addicted and coming back for more (i.e. keep them on ‘The Diet Plan’!)

Just to make sure I cover every angle, so you absolutely cannot fail, I included yet another private coaching session but this one is a little different…

It’s from the time just before I finalized the whole system so you can see the ‘origin saga’ behind all the principles. This will really help you nail it down so everything comes second nature. In the same way a mechanic studies the evolution of engines so he can truly understand how the modern ones work

It’s both a quick-guide to review the material at a glance if you need a refresher, and I included some of my newest tricks and tactics:

How many dates it might take until she gives it up? only to find out she’s just another girl who MIGHT go down on you here and there, but definitely not the bj queen you fantasize about

And if you have a girlfriend or wife you’re probably even more frustrated because you already have a woman….

Or maybe you find yourself sitting on the couch once again while she blabs away about cat videos, or the Kardashians, or ‘that bitch from work’…

When all she has to do is lean over and bob her head up and down!

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I’m making this a no­-brainer, and making it risk free for you

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Now I can offer this discount for a short time only. Lock in your super discounted price now

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Because you’re going to take advantage of my ‘triple guarantee’

I want you to try the BJ Power Play on me for a full 60 days, and if you do not get the results I’ve promised…

Hell, even if you don’t like the font I use, or my voice…

If you are not 100% satisfied in every way I’ll refund your purchase price — No hassles no worries and we’ll part as friends no matter what

Either you are thrilled and totally satisfied with all the world class blowjobs you’re getting every day

Plus I will never leave you hanging… either myself or my support team will get back to you quickly with any questions you have, so you will always be taken care of

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