#i want to think yes i have to think yes.. sunlight through trees. kindness and humanity. we r all doomed to die anyway whats 1 more doom..

[portokali]

how can we lose when we're so sincere 🥹🥹🥹

[certaimromance]

ꫂ ၴႅၴ Effects of the Curse.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!reader

Summary: After receiving some outside comments, the topic of marriage comes up. Unfortunately, you and Aaron have different views on the matter.

Words: 2,7k.

TW: mention to marriage, divorce and haley. angst without happy ending. established relationship. about a year after hotch's departure from the fbi. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: As a person who wants to get married, this is pretty personal lol.

Call me crazy, but I truly believe that Hotch would not remarry after Haley for fear of repeating history (he is very the prophecy vibes for me).

♡ Enjoy! ♡

You were leaning against one of the kitchen counters as you waited for the water you had put in the kettle to heat up and allow you to brew coffee. Behind you, you could hear your boyfriend rummaging through the cupboard for your favorite mug and carefully placing it next to his, going through the same routine the two of you had already established.

But something was feeling different this time.

It had more to do with your memories of the family dinner you'd gone to the day before, where there hadn't been a single person who hadn't asked when you were going to officially become Mrs. Hotchner, when you were going to take that big step down the aisle, and maybe even expand the family beyond that. It was a little silly for you to think so much about it, because those were the typical comments people made when they saw a functioning couple, and it had happened to you before with ex-boyfriends you took home, but this time it felt more serious.

Maybe it was because of how your heart was racing as you imagined wearing a ring that would show your total commitment to love someone to death, or maybe it was how Aaron reacted, or rather his lack of reaction, and how much that bothered you.

The sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window and filtering through the trees in the yard had you so mesmerized at that moment that you barely felt when his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you let out a slight sound of surprise and relaxed a little under his touch.

“What is on your mind? Perhaps the new coffee maker we should definitely consider purchasing?” He asked with a cheerful tone.

Yes, you two definitely had to buy a new one after the old one suddenly stopped working. But that wasn't what you were thinking about. You were a long way from that.

“Sure, we should do that.” Your answer was blurted out almost out of obligation and came out robotically.

He wasn't stupid, nor had he lost the habits of a profiler after so many years as one. He knew you well enough to know that something was troubling you, even if he didn't know exactly why. He pulled you a little closer and planted a small kiss on the top of your head, tightening his grip on your waist a little more to comfort you as he spoke.

“Darling.” He murmured softly, wanting you to give him your full attention. “I can practically see the gears turning in your head, what's wrong with you?”

You, were what you wanted to say.

“Nothing, just...it's been a long day.” That was all that came out of your mouth.

To tell the truth, it had been an exhausting day, and at least you hadn't lied that much. You had been very restless, trying to do many things to keep the destructive thoughts out of your mind, and it had made you quite tired.

“Don't try to fool me. I know you well enough to know when you are lying.” He gently pinched the sides of your waist and turned you to look into his eyes.

“I...I was just thinking about some things my family said yesterday.” You finally confessed, your voice a little shaky, as if telling him would embarrass you.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brow in concern, brushing a hand against your cheek in that way that always made you feel a bit weak in the knees.

His touch was so warm and loving against your skin, and for a moment, it almost made you forget what you were thinking about. Almost.

“Just a few things about how I haven't married you yet, and...” You didn't even want to finish the sentence, feeling your heart beat a little faster as the words got stuck in your throat. “That we don't have, you know, kids.”

Aaron took a quick look at your face as he heard your confession. His heart clenched a little as he realized what you were talking about, and he couldn't help but be curious about it. The topic of marriage and having children hadn't come up much since you started dating because he already had Jack and had been married once. It was a goal he'd already achieved. However, he knew it was a topic that needed to be discussed, as he saw your worried expression and slightly trembling voice.

He put his hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle massage to relieve the tension. He didn't want to seem careless or unconcerned, so he spoke after pausing.

“And you were worried because...?”

He looked at you with a kind of intense gaze that made you feel like your heart was going to burst out of your chest at any moment. As he massaged your shoulders, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

“Well, from the way you reacted, I guess.” You admitted, your voice full of doubt. “I mean, I know we haven't really talked about it, but...it's hard to know what you're thinking when the subject comes up and you have that cold expression on your face, like it's nothing relevant.”

His expression softened, and he brought his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks to make sure you were looking directly at him.

“You know very well that I have already taken care of that.” He said softly, trying to find the best words. “Marriage, children...I had that. I have Jack. And he's enough for me.”

Enough for him. Were you too?

His words had a surprising effect on you, leaving you with a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth. Despite this, you maintained a calm exterior, striving to conceal your true feelings.

“And what about what's enough for me?” You inquired, addressing the issue with a candor you had previously avoided. The words emerged from your mouth almost involuntarily.

Hotchner was taken aback by your question. The way you asked it gave the impression that you were accusing him, although he was unsure if this was the intention. He took a deep breath, searching for the most tactful way to respond to your words.

“I...I didn't realize.” He began, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts. “You never mentioned that you wanted to get married or have children. I thought you were happy with our current situation.”

“Not really.” You admitted, avoiding eye contact as you looked down at the floor. “I mean, I really love Jack, he's a wonderful boy.”

Aaron listened intently as you continued, your words coming out hesitantly.

“And being with you...it makes me so happy.” You sighed and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “But…I feel like I need more. I want more, and I'm not necessarily talking about a child. I want to know that you belong to me as much as I belong to you.”

Aaron walked over and stood in front of you, placing his hands on your hips. He stared at you as he spoke, his voice soft but firm.

“Darling, my love...I belong to you, and you belong to me, and you don't need a ring to know that. If you want one, I'll buy it for you, that or whatever you want.”

You let out a small sigh and leaned closer to him, resting your head on his chest. You could hear the steady beat of his heart as he held you tightly and his body enveloped you in a warm embrace.

“I know.” You said quietly, the words somewhat muffled against his shirt. “But it's not just about the ring. It's about the commitment, the symbol of our union...and how that gives me security.”

He ran his fingers through your hair gently as he listened, his touch soothing against your scalp.

“Listen to me.” He began, his tone affectionate. “I've always been committed to you. From the moment I allowed myself to open up to you to the first night we spent together, and every day since. You know it. Does it really take a ceremony to make you believe it?”

When you looked at him, you felt a rush of emotions. You knew he loved you, and he was right. He had shown you his commitment many times. You had even been living together for a couple of years. But there was still a part of you that longed for that tangible symbol of love.

“I don't doubt you.” You said, choosing your words carefully. “But it's about symbolism. Having physical proof of our commitment shows the world how firmly bound we are to each other. And I know you believe in it. You were married once for a reason.”

Oh, that's a sensitive topic.

He let out a small sigh when you mentioned his previous marriage, and his fingers stopped stroking your hair. It was an uncomfortable and painful subject he didn't like to talk about, especially with you. The memories of his failed marriage were difficult to process, not only because of Haley's death but also because of the many problems that had plagued their relationship before its sad end.

“Maybe I believed that before, or at least I thought I did.” He replied after a short pause. “But that doesn't mean I want to go through it all again.”

“Even with me?” You asked softly, lifting your head to look into his eyes. There was a hint of vulnerability and sadness in your expression, your heart trembling slightly in anticipation of his answer. “Even in the future?”

Aaron observed your expression and the slight shift in your demeanor. He was aware of the impact his words could have on you, and he took care to choose them carefully. He gently traced your features with the back of his hand, his thumb gently moving across your face.

“This isn't about you or time at all.” He said in a soft voice, trying to express his love for you. “I just couldn't go through that again. The expectations, the disappointment, the divorce. It's too much.”

As he spoke, he paused and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to contain his emotions. His previous marriage had left him deeply scarred, and the thought of suffering the same fate again, especially with you, filled him with dread. He silently prayed every day that history would never repeat itself.

But your situation was quite different. The concerns he expressed, which he did not fully explain, only served to increase your doubts. You were aware that Aaron had every reason to be fearful after experiencing so much in the past, but you were surprised that he seemed to be afraid to be with you in front of the law.

How could he be so sure that a marriage with you would end in divorce? If his demanding job could no longer be the cause of the failure, could it perhaps be something else? Could it be you?

“You're not the same as before, and I'm not-” You started to say when you were interrupted by a loud whistle.

The unexpected sound of the kettle whistling gently interrupts the moment between the two, if only for a brief moment, allowing you both to take a breath.

He carefully put out the fire and poured the steaming water into the cups he had thoughtfully prepared earlier. He then added a teaspoon of sugar to each and a little milk to yours, taking care to ensure it was just the way you liked it. As you both watched the hot liquid swirl in the cups, he let out a sigh. Aaron felt a sense of responsibility, knowing he wasn't able to deliver what you desired.

Hotchner handed you your cup with care, ensuring that he did not accidentally burn himself in the process. The kitchen fell silent as he stood next to you while you both sipped your coffee, lost in your own thoughts.

The taste of coffee with a little milk on your tongue distracted you from the heavy atmosphere that had settled between you and him in the kitchen. In that moment, you took the opportunity to watch him closely and try to decipher what he was thinking. Maybe use a little of what you had learned from being with a profiler for so long.

His face was set, and you could easily see the emotion in his eyes. He was not happy with the conversation, and his expression had given him away from the first crossword on the subject.

When Aaron noticed you staring at him in the midst of his silence, he looked up into your eyes and held them for a few seconds. He knew exactly what you were trying to do, but it didn't bother him. Being a profiler, he found it ironic, and a small smile appeared on his lips.

“You can look at me all you want.” He said with a dry laugh. “And try to profile me if you want.”

“It's not that...” You began to say, but you knew he was right. That was precisely what you were attempting to do, trying to discern his feelings, even utilizing some profiling techniques he had taught you himself. You let out a small sigh, feeling a little foolish for your lack of subtlety.

Of course he'd realize. The man could leave the FBI, but the FBI couldn't leave the man.

“I find it challenging not to.” You confessed, tilting your head and taking a sip of your coffee. “I've picked up on some of your habits, I suppose.”

He let out a soft chuckle, acknowledging that you were trying to get a read on him and feeling relieved to see the earlier tension ease. He lifted the cup to his lips and took a small sip, letting the hot liquid warm his insides before speaking in a friendly tone.

“And what have I taught you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

“A few things.” You replied, with a hint of sarcasm. “Like how to spot lies, read body language, and how to read people well. Basically, all the skills required to be a profiler, except how to not profile your loved one.”

“I see your point.” He replied, a soft smile on his face, grateful that things between you were feeling good again. “Perhaps I should have taught you that last part too, but you would have made a good profiler.”

“I would have made a good wife too.” The comment came out before you could stop yourself, and you immediately covered your mouth with your fingers after saying it.

Aaron's smile faded as soon as you spoke, and the tension in the room intensified. He exhaled, a combination of fatigue and frustration, and placed the half-finished coffee on the counter behind you before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I'm sorry.” You spoke up before he could even open his mouth, hoping to get a word in first.

“Don't.” His answer came almost automatically.

It was then that you grabbed your cell phone after hearing it vibrate, hoping to avoid the situation. “It's the seamstress. Jack's costume is ready.”

He nodded silently as you picked up the cell phone from the kitchen table. The comment was still in the air, and you sensed that he had heard it, but he didn't react at all. Instead, he seemed relieved that the awkward moment between the two was over, if only temporarily.

Thank you, Halloween.

After a brief pause, Aaron inquired gently. “Would you like me to accompany you to collect it?”

“I believe it would be best if I went alone.” You replied after a moment. “I need to take some time to process things, and you need to wait for your son. He will be out of school soon.”

Aaron felt a slight discomfort in his chest at your words. He recognized the truth in what you said, that some time apart might be beneficial for both of you to reflect on the conversation and all that was left unsaid.

And after that, you proceeded to retrieve your keys and walked through the door without so much as a moment's hesitation. This time, there wasn't even an ‘I love you’ or a goodbye kiss as a reminder that all was well. This time, the silence conveyed a message that was perhaps more profound than any gesture or sweet word.

In the end, the marriage was scarier than any Halloween costume.

[jetii]

The Possibility of Infinity

Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader / Tech x Jedi!Reader

Words: 3,028

Tags/Warnings: none, just a lot of softness

Summary: Tech finally has you back after all this time, and he's determined to let you know what that means to him.

A/N: Surprise! To celebrate 300 followers, here's my continuation of Infinite Possibilities of the Universe. I had some requests for more Tech and Sarad, and after I saw this lovely fanart from @a-cryptid-called-magetha yesterday, I was inspired to actually finish this ficlet. I have another part drafted with smut, but the tone is different enough that I wanted to keep them separate and post this first. 💙

The sun was shining, and the air was filled with the scent of flowers and grass and summer. The breeze was cool and gentle, and the sky was clear and blue, with a few wispy clouds drifting lazily across the horizon. Tech had never stopped to admire the view, and he supposed it was because he had never really thought about it.

But today was different. Today, he was seeing the world through new eyes. Today, everything seemed brighter, and more vivid, and more real.

Because today, Sarad was with him.

The first day after your return had been a blur. You had told him your story, and he had told you his. There had been tears, and laughter, and long conversations in the early hours of the morning. And, in between, there had been moments of silence, and of just being together. Of holding each other, and sharing in each other's presence, and finding comfort in the simple act of existing.

You had stayed close to him, as if afraid he would disappear. And he had understood the feeling, because he had been afraid of the same thing.

And, even now, even as he watched you walk next to him, and felt the warmth of your hand on his arm, it all felt a little unreal.

But the sunlight was bright, and the breeze was soft, and the stone was warm beneath his feet, and the world was in focus.

And Sarad was here, and she was smiling.

"This is a lovely spot," you commented as you came to a stop in front of the Archium. Tech had showed it to you yesterday, but you hadn't been in the mood to sit and enjoy the view. Today, you were more relaxed, and Tech was glad. You deserved a moment of peace.

"Yes," Tech agreed. "It is."

"I like the tree," you added, your hand trailing across the rough bark. "It's a weeping maya. I'd need to run a few tests to know for sure, but I believe it's at least two millenia old."

Tech's mouth twitched into a smile. He had known the species of the tree, but hearing it from you brought a new kind of joy. One that was warm, and sweet, and made him feel like his chest might burst. It was the kind of joy he had thought he'd lost forever. But here it was, and it was more beautiful than he had remembered.

"Are you sure?" he teased, his fingers grazing yours over the bark. "Maybe I should take a look."

You laughed, a light, musical sound that made his heart swell.

"I think you'll find that my expertise outweighs yours in this area," you replied, your eyes sparkling. "But if you're not convinced, we can always get a second opinion."

"I wouldn't dare," he chuckled, his hand settling on your waist. "Your word is the only one I trust."

"Flatterer," you accused, but there was no bite to the words.

"I simply speak the truth," he said, his smile widening.

You rolled your eyes, and the motion was so familiar, so achingly familiar, that his throat tightened, and his words faded.

Hearing your laughter, and watching you smile, and feeling your presence at his side...it was almost overwhelming. He had dreamed of this moment, but his imagination had never been able to capture the way his heart felt when you were close. The way his chest seemed to expand, and his mind grew lighter, and the world seemed brighter. 

You seemed to sense his sudden change in mood, because your smile faded, and you turned to him, your expression soft and worried. "Tech? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he murmured, his voice low. "Just...happy."

"Oh, love," you whispered, your hands moving to cup his cheeks. "It's going to be alright."

"I know." He swallowed thickly and dipped his head, avoiding your gaze. "I seem to be having trouble accepting it. That you're here. That this is real."

"I understand," you said softly. "But I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

"I believe you," he replied, his voice shaking slightly. "I'm just..."

"Overwhelmed?" you supplied.

"Yes." Tech sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Overwhelmed."

"That's alright," you said, your hands sliding down to his neck, your fingers trailing along his jaw. "Take all the time you need."

He smiled, and leaned into your touch. You were so patient, and so understanding, and so gentle. You knew exactly what to say, and how to make him feel better. He didn't deserve you, and yet, here you were. You were the most precious thing in his life, and he vowed to never let you go again. He had already spent so much time apart from you. He couldn't bear to waste another moment.

"My apologies," he murmured, his gaze dropping back to the ground. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."

"You didn't," you assured him, and the sincerity in your voice was almost enough to make him tear up. "There will be plenty of moments, Tech. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," he whispered. "For everything."

"It's nothing," you said, your thumbs tracing circles on his cheeks. They were light, and tender, and reassuring. "It's just what we do for the people we love."

His breath caught, and he looked up, his eyes meeting yours. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and he swallowed thickly, trying to find the words.

"Sarad..."

"Yes?" you prompted, your voice soft and expectant.

"I love you," he managed, his voice strained.

"I love you, too," you murmured, and the corners of your lips tugged upwards. "Always."

He leaned down, his forehead resting against yours, and your eyes fluttered shut. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, letting the tension ease from his body. His heart was pounding, but he didn't mind. It was a reminder that he was alive, and that you were here, and that the universe had brought you together once more.

"Are you alright?" you asked, your voice quiet.

"Yes," he replied. "I am now."

Your smile widened, and you pushed yourself onto your toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips. It was brief, and soft, and perfect, and when you drew back, your eyes were shining.

"Go on," Tech encouraged, nodding towards the tree. "I know you've been waiting for the chance to study it."

You grinned, and he felt his own smile widen. You were radiant, and beautiful, and he wanted nothing more than to capture the moment in his memory. He hesitated a moment before activating the recording device on his goggles. 

The images recorded by the device were a poor substitute for the real thing, but it was something. And, even though he knew that you wouldn't be going anywhere, and that he would have countless other opportunities to see you smile, Tech didn't want to miss this.

"Are you recording me?" you asked, though you knew the answer already. He could see it in the amusement dancing across your features.

"Yes," he replied, his voice soft. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," you said, giving him a sly grin. "Just don't share it with anyone. I'm not looking my best."

"Nonsense," he countered, his hands curling around yours. "You're as coruscating as the stars."

You snorted, but didn't pull away. Instead, you leaned in, your nose brushing against his, and your breath tickling his lips.

"You're biased," you teased, your eyes meeting his. Tech felt his breath catch in his throat, and he swallowed thickly, his pulse quickening. Your proximity was intoxicating, and he couldn't help but wonder if you were doing it on purpose. But then again, it didn't matter. He wasn't complaining. Not when he was this close to you.

"Perhaps," he allowed, his voice low and husky. "But that doesn't make it any less true."

You hummed, a sound that sent a shiver down his spine, and then you were kissing him, and his mind went blank. He didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but when you pulled away, he was breathless, and his knees were weak.

"What was that for?" he asked, his voice unsteady.

"No reason," you said, a sly grin spreading across your lips. "Now, can I borrow your scanner? I'd like to get a closer look at the blossoms."

"Of course," he replied, handing you the device. He was a bit dazed, and it took him a moment to gather his thoughts. You didn't seem to mind, though, and he watched as you turned your attention to the tree, running your hand over the bark and muttering to yourself. 

He leaned against the trunk, content to simply watch you. There would be time for questions later, and for explanations. But for now, he just wanted to enjoy the moment. He wanted to soak in every detail, and memorize every line of your face, and commit every sound and sensation to memory. He didn't know if he would ever feel this way again, and he wanted to savor it.

He had hoped for so long, and waited for so long, and missed you so much. But now, here you were, and his heart was full. It was a strange sensation, and it took him a while to identify it. Happiness. Joy. Peace. Hope. Things he hadn't thought he would feel again. But here, in this moment, with the sun warming his skin, and the breeze rustling the leaves, and the woman he loved by his side, he felt them.

You suddenly leaped upward into the air, using the Force to vault yourself off a nearby root. 

Tech blinked, startled, and then laughed, shaking his head in disbelief, the tears starting to sting his eyes forgotten. He looked up and watched as you grabbed hold of a branch and swung yourself onto it, balancing easily on the limb.

"This is amazing," you called down to him, gesturing at the tree. "I've never seen one of these with white blossoms."

Tech smiled, and his hand instinctively reached for the datapad in his pocket.

"Would you like a copy of the information I have on them?"

You pulled away from the trunk and peered down at him, your hair glinting in the sunlight. Your smile was radiant, and his breath caught in his throat. You were so beautiful. And he was so lucky.

"Please," you replied, and the delight in your voice made his heart ache. "And, if it's not too much trouble, could you include whatever you have on the soil composition of the area? I'd love to see if there's a correlation between the environment and the color variation."

"How do you know the information I have will include that?"

"Because I know you," you laughed. "And I know how meticulous you are. If there's anything you don't have, I'll come back to take some samples."

"That will not be necessary," he admitted with a wry grin. He pulled the datapad from his pocket, and began typing quickly, his fingers flying over the keys. A few moments later, the data packet had been transmitted to you, and he looked up to see you examining the results.

"Thank you," you said with a bright grin. "You're the best, Tech."

"You are very welcome," he replied, unable to keep the smile from his face. You were so enthusiastic, and curious, and full of life, and he felt his heart swell with pride and love.

"Care to join me up here?" you asked as you dropped into a seat on the branch.

"I'm afraid I would not fare as well as you," he answered, eyeing the height of your position with apprehension.

"Please?" you pout, extending a hand towards him.

"Sarad," he protested weakly, knowing full well he had lost the battle.

"Pretty please?"

"Fine," he sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He pocketed his datapad and pushed himself off the trunk before he reached out and grabbed the nearest branch, pulling himself up.

The tree was large, and the branches were thick, and he didn't have much difficulty maneuvering himself up to where you were seated. When he reached your level, you leaned over and kissed his cheek, a gesture that had his heart stuttering in his chest.

You were sitting cross-legged on the branch, and you shifted over to make room for him. He sat down, his back against the trunk to steady himself, and he let one of his legs swing down, while the other remained bent at the knee. You settled in next to him, and his arm automatically wrapped around you, pulling you close.

"So, what do you think?" he asked as his hand idly traced patterns on your back.

"It's beautiful," you replied, your gaze fixed on the horizon. You leaned into his touch, and he couldn't help but smile. "I could stay here forever."

"That can be arranged," he murmured, his voice soft.

"Really?" you asked, glancing up at him.

"Yes," he said, his lips quirking into a smile. "We could set up a lab, and a greenhouse, and a small garden. We could build a home here. It wouldn't be difficult."

"A home," you repeated with wide eyes. "You would do that? For me?"

"Sarad, I would do anything for you." 

He meant it, and he could see the effect his words had on you. "I would build a thousand homes for you, if that was what you wanted. I would travel to the farthest corners of the galaxy, and I would search for a thousand years, if it meant I could spend a thousand days with you."

"Tech," you whispered, your voice trembling.

"I'm serious," he said earnestly. "I have never been more certain of anything in my life."

"But what about your family? The war? All of this..." You trailed off, gesturing to the village around you. "You can't just leave it all behind."

"They would understand," he said. "They are a part of me, but they are not my only family. And, as for the war, I think I've done my part. I have seen enough, and lost enough, and suffered enough. And, now that I have found you, I cannot bear to be apart from you again. So, please, if this is what you want, I will do it. I will leave everything behind, and build a new life with you. Here, or elsewhere. Wherever you wish to go. Just tell me."

You stared at him, and the emotions swirling in your eyes were impossible to name, but he felt them all. And, when you spoke, your voice was thick with tears. "You really mean that."

"Yes," he said. He reached up and cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin. "I will not lose you again."

You smiled, your eyes shining, and his heart ached at the sight.

"I—" You swallowed thickly, your lower lip quivering. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he said as his fingers brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "Just...consider it. I won't press the issue if you're not ready."

"I am," you said quickly. "Ready, I mean."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," you breathed. "I'm sure. I've missed you so much, Tech. And I don't want to spend another day without you."

He pulled you into his arms, holding you tight. You clung to him, and he felt your tears dampen his shirt, but he didn't mind. He simply held you, and soothed you, and stroked your hair, and let you cry. He knew you needed it more than you would admit, and he would gladly give you whatever you needed.

"Then it's settled," he said, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "We'll build a home. Just for the two of us."

"Tech, I..." Your voice trailed off, and you took a deep breath, composing yourself. "I love you. So much."

"I love you too, Sarad," he murmured.

"But are you sure this is what you want?" you asked. "A life with me?"

"Yes," he replied, without hesitation.

"You're not...you're not just saying that because you think it's what I want?"

"No," he assured you, his hands coming up to cup your face. "I am saying it because it's what I want. Because it's what I've always wanted. Even before I knew it was possible."

"Really?"

"Yes," he said softly. "I have never been more sure of anything."

Your breath hitched, and your eyes were glassy with unshed tears. You bit your lip, and Tech knew that you were trying to hold them back. He brushed his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the moisture. He felt a tear slip down his own, and you reached up to wipe it away. Your hands lingered, cupping his face, and your thumbs traced gentle circles on his cheeks.

"Then let's do it," you said, your voice wavering. "Let's build a home. Here, or anywhere else. I don't care. Just...just promise me we'll never be apart again."

"Never," he whispered.

"I can't believe it," you laughed, the sound half-sob, half-delight. "It's really going to happen. We're really going to be together."

"Yes," he murmured, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. "We are."

You exhaled slowly, a long, shaky breath, and then you closed your eyes, and rested your head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around you, and he held you close, letting his chin come to rest on the top of your head as you breathed together.

The sun was warm, and the breeze was cool, and the scent of flowers filled the air. And he was here, with you. With the woman he loved, the one who had given him so much hope, and shown him a life he had never imagined. The one who had given him the stars, and the possibility of infinity, and the chance to be happy.

Taglist (also tagged some people who mentioned a sequel): @baddest-batchers @covert1ntrovert @stellarbit @bruh-myguy-what @kindalonleystars

@cw80831 @qvnthesia @totallyunidentified @heidnspeak @lovelytech9902

@frozenreptile @chocolatewastelandtriumph @etod @Puppetscenario @umekohiganbana

@resistantecho @dindjarins1ut @tech-aficionado @aynavaano @burningnerdchild

@ihatesaaand @lolwey @hobbititties @mere-bear @thegreatpipster

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@floofyroro @megmegalodondon @dangraccoon @dreamie411 @sukithebean

@bimboshaggy

[strawberrymochin]

Springtime Fushiguros♪

Context-: exploring the memories of childhood of fushiguros, marking the spring time of you and satoru gojo.

Summer daze :- cozy afternoon naps and picnic with gojo and the fushiguros

You cleared away the empty cans into a plastic bag, putting them aside, then closing the lid of the emptied bentos, you prepared this morning.

Gojo streched himself on the blanket, he spread earlier, looking much chirpy and vibrant.

Last few days has been really hectic for Gojo. The higher ups are really driving him up the wall, building up his hatred even more. You didn't want him to get stressed because of those shitty people, thus you recommend to spend this holiday in mizumoto park having a picnic day.

You woke up early today, making different items, including a lot of foods that has a slight sweet hint to it, not forgetting to carry extra candies for him. You also made Megumi and Tsumiki's favourite foods so no one's left out. You are not that of a picky eater, so all these items were enough to please you.

'Hey, that was mine!!' Megumi whines as gojo picks a candy that was particularly reserved for Megumi.

'So what? I paid for it.' Gojo flicks an eyebrow at him, scoffing in superiority.

'That doesn't counts, give it back to me!'

'well, I've already popped it into my mouth. It has my saliva over it....still want it back?'

'Y/n-san!!' Megumi calls for you, 'oh come on 'toru! Teasing Megumi is not considered to be a part time hobby.'

Gojo straightens up, flicking his sunglasses with a swift movement. 'call me that again?'

You couldn't reciprocate for a moment that seemed long. 'um....'toru..?'

He looked at you for a while, intently and steadily, then layed down with a soft chuckle. You couldn't process his response, maybe he found the nickname silly? Ahh I shouldn't have called him that. You smacked yourself mentally.

You were about to explain yourself that it was not something cheesy you made up with and just an involuntary action, when—

'megumi-chan you can have mine.' Tsumiki being the kind hearted angel she is, offers her candy to Megumi.

'Its fine 'miki, you have that, I've got some more of those for you guys. Here.' You hand out the candies to the kids. 'we will leave before evening, wanna have a nap till then?'

'yes!' chirps tsumiki, 'lay down then.' you shift your body weight, lying on the right side while your upper arm supports your head, using the left hand to patt the area beside you, indicating the kids to lay down.

Megumi was going to take the spot beside you, but gojo pulls him beside him instead. Megumi groans, trying to squirm to get out of gojo's grip and run to you. Unfortunately, he isn't strong enough to do that. You laugh a bit, as Tsumiki lays beside you.

Warm rays of sunlight pools over, through the crown shyness, slow breezes cause the branches of the trees, above you guys dance loftily. The sound of the birds, insects and the scent of soil forged a serene environment.

Gojo was fondled megumi's hair, while he slowly drifted in his dreamy slumber. Tsumiki was fast asleep too.

'what was that before?' you said softly keeping your voice low, not to wake the kids up.

'hm?'

'why did you make me repeat—'

'Cuz, i wanted to hear it again.'

'why? Do you think it's silly?'

'You know, what's the most melodic thing to my ears in this entire world?' he smiles softly. His blue eyes shone like the point where the sun rays meet the vast sea. 'It's my name from your mouth.'

You felt a thousand butterflies in your stomach. This simple confession felt more intimate than any subtle physical moments you've had.

He continues, 'Don't know much about nicknames, but you've surely made me silly.....in love.'

[onna-musha-mari]

Under the Wisteria Tree

Giyuu Tomioka x Hashira! Reader (Gender neutral)(they/them)

Summary: Giyuu finally tells you his feelings in one of your favorite spots.

Warnings: None, pure fluff

(First time posting a fanfic…I tried y’all)

(Wisteria border by @saradika-graphics)

Giyuu stood there in silence, watching the wisteria petals fell to the earth from their branches above. There was a reason he was here, and not just to admire the scenery of the light dancing through the openings in the trees…He knew that a certain Hashira always came to this exact spot to meditate and relax. Giyuu never planned for any of this, he had never been one to dwell on emotions like this. But, here he was, waiting for that hashira who some might think took the job lightly. Sure, they goofed off sometimes, but they were an efficient fighter. It was something Giyuu lov- oh, wait, no. He might be ready to approach them, but maybe let’s take it slow…baby steps. Baby steps.

“Giyuu? I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Great, caught off guard, perfect way to start this.

Giyuu straighten his stance, now looking towards them with his usual stoic expression.

“Oh, I didn’t notice you had come up to me. My apologies.”

“No need to be sorry…may I ask why you’ve come to the Wisteria fields? I don’t blame you though, it is a very pretty spot, don’t you agree?”

And there was that flush, that feeling that went through him whenever they made conversation. He had never felt it before and yet, it felt good. Very good in fact. It was the reason he planned on telling his fellow hashira that he wished to spend more time with them. In a more…well more close relationship.

“I…merely wished to see the reason why you come here everyday…but I see why now. It is nice here.”

“It is really beautiful here”

Their eyes were fixed on the branches of the trees, while Giyuu’s were focused on the person standing next to him

“Yes…very beautiful. … Anyway, I did want to speak to you about something, important.”

“Yeah? What’s on your mind?”

He sighed before looking them in the eyes

“When we first met, I thought nothing of it. But when I first saw you caring for those girls at the butterfly mansion, then with Tanjiro and his sister. I knew something was different about you. And the more I learned about you, the more I wanted to know. You’re strong, sometimes I think stronger than most, or myself at least, because you can be a great fighter and yet still be so kind to people. I know you’re a good swordsman…but you’re also a good person.”

He looked up, taking a breath before continuing to speak.

“And not only are you strong and caring…you’re beautiful. …”

They looked at him, looking with wonder and surprise as this normally stoic swordsman laid what seemed to be his heart for them.

“I never thought of myself as a person who would ever want to focus on things like this, or did I think I’d find someone who makes me feel what you make me feel. …This is a lot harder than it was talking to Tanjiro about… what I’m trying to say here is, I would love to get to know you even more. And I would like to have a, closer relationship…if that is something you would want too?”

Moment of truth, it’s either they say yes or no. Oh what was he getting himself int-

“Yes, I would love that Giyuu, and thank you. I really didn’t know you felt that way. But, yes, I would love all of that.”

“Wait, really?”

“Really”

“oh…wow…would you mind if I held your hand?”

“Of course”

They took his hand in theirs…This was really happening. Under the Wisteria tree, Giyuu found the person he wanted to spend forever with, if fate let him. This felt, nice…really nice.

“Thank you”

They looked back at him, curious to what he meant.

“For what?”

Giyuu looked up at the Wisteria trees, once again watching the petals fall around them, the suns last rays of sunlight gleaming against the background. He picked one of the flowers and put it behind their hair before he continued.

“For giving me another reason to be strong…like you.”

[sunofpandora]

 V I R A G O                   

Chapter 5

Honey, you’re familiar.

Neteyam x fem!omaticaya!reader

𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓼/𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼/𝓼𝔂𝓷𝓸𝓹i𝓼

»»———–➤»»———–➤»»———WARNINGS:

Mentions of dick sucking and eating pussy???? IT'S A JOKE GUYS I SWEAR JUST READ AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND GIVE ME A CHANCE!! 

Anxiety/mentions of hunger/mentions of not eating/ heights/ sex jokes/murder jokes?? Neteyam has like, one dirty thought?

Synopsis:  Y/n and Lo’ak spend some time together at the lake, and return to the omatikaya to join the sullys for the communal clan meal. Jake and y/n have a heart to heart.

Extra characters:

Kyuna: Omaticaya clan member

Popiti: Omaticaya child, Tuk’s best friend according to the visual dictionary.

Authors note:

HI GUYS! Did you miss me?? It’s okay to say no 😭. I’m in such a good mood guys and you won’t believe why 😏 and because I am in such a good mood, I have decided to give you guys some fluffy  sully family feels before the next chapter, where neteyam and Y/n will start their training! As just a reminder, please remember to go back and read chapter 3 (all 3 parts if you can) bc I have a feeling that not a ton of people have.

VERY IMPORTANT!!

This chapter is what I call a direct chapter. This means that the events in this chapter are happening on the same day as the ones in chapter 4 (found on my masterlist.). Ik it’s been awhile so pls feel free to refresh your memory

»»———–➤»»———–➤»»———»»———–➤»»———–➤»»———»»———–➤»

 “Damn that thing is huge.”

“…”

“So big and juicy looking…”

“……”

“I can’t wait to have that thing inside of me…mmm….my mouth is just watering thinking about it.”

“Lo’ak. Shut the fuck up.”

Lo’ak cackled, shoving you playfully.

“C’mon sis you know I play around.”

You huffed, trying to keep up being unamused with his sexual innuendos. 

“Lo’ak it’s not funny.”

“Yes it is.”

You thwacked him with your tail, hissing at him lowly, making him shut up immediately.

“You know for someone who complained about neteyam moaning into a fruit, you talk a lot of shit.”

Lo’ak shrugged.

“Is it so wrong to admire a fruit for its nice curves??”

It was inevitable that Lo’ak would bother you like this while you tried to focus. It wasn’t anything new. And while you were practicing the art of perpetual kindness, the occasional sex joke from Lo’ak deserved a whack of your tail, did it not?

You huffed, dropping your shoulders and letting your stance slip. You had been out in the woods with Lo’ak for the last 2 hours. Just exploring and enjoying conversation and gossip as usual, your bow slung around your torso and a few arrows, sharpened and freshly fletched at the ready in case of trouble.

It wasn’t trouble you were trying to shoot right now, luckily. Your current target was the fresh bunch of fruits that glistened under the canopy’s kisses of sunlight leaking through the foliage.

Lo’ak shifted on his feet.

“I could just shimmy up there and cut them down at the stem.”

You rolled your eyes, fondly recalling how about 5 minutes ago he tried that and fell on his ass…7 times.

“No, Lo’ak. I don’t want you injured. We’re doing it my way now.”

You raised your arm again, placing your arrow against the string of your bow, carefully constructing your once slipping stance to its previous position.

You took a breath, widening yourself at the proper angle, the sweet sound of the stretch your bowstring was a gentle satisfaction. You felt your nose twitch as the fletching of the arrows brush your nostrils.

You can feel Lo’ak’s eyes on you. Tracing the way your muscles tensed and stretched, enamored by your skill. It seemed as if everyone was. 

To be honest, it would have felt weird if it was anyone else other than Lo’ak.

You finally released, watching the arrow fly up and into the tree, the sound of the vine snapping as the arrow pierced straight through the stem that hung the fruits by the bunch to the branch resonated through the moistened air.

The fruits fell with a thud, you let out a satisfied sigh.

“There we go.”

You hummed, handing Lo’ak your bow as you squatted to swing the fruits over your shoulder.

Lo’ak was quiet for a moment. Just staring at your weapon as you stood to your feet.

“What? What’s wrong?”

You queried, stepping over the few stones to stand with him.

He shrugged, a smile allowing itself to sink upon his features.

“Nothing. I just feel like I should be more formal. I’m in the presence of our clan’s mighty archer.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing him as you started to walk down the path you came.

“Shut up.”

“No im serious. I should’ve done my hair or fixed up my outfit-“

“You’re not funny.”

“My mom says I’m funny.”

He puts his hands on his hips, chin high as if his existence was the height of humanity’s greatest accomplishments.

“Yourn mom also tells Tuk that babies come from flowers. So she’s extremely reliable, it seems.”

Lo’ak gasped frantically, dramatically tumbling over his steps and clutching his chest as if he’s entering cardiac arrest.

“You fiend of a woman! How dare you speak to me with such a tounge!?”

“Oh suck my dick Lo’ak.”

“Eat me out y/n!”

Lo’ak leaned against a tree, posing seductively. Spreading his legs and falling his hands around to gesture to his loins.

You covered your mouth and nose, gagging for effect. 

“Put it away Lo’ak, phew, I KNOW it stinks up in there.”

“It smells delectable.”

“Mo’at had a heart attack scare last time she washed your loincloth. I wouldn’t count on it.”

Lo’ak flipped you off.

You both couldn’t restrain yourselves from the ugly cackles that erupt from your throat.

Your laughter weaving floridly around the forest before soaking into the late afternoons sunrays. The sky blushed it’s shadowed hues into breathtaking. It was at this time when the sun settled its intensity and ceased staining the world with its harsh tones, when the night crept behind a curtain of clouds.

Lo’ak and you continued to wonder around, Lo’ak carrying the fruit in the woven satchel bag that hung by it’s strap over his shoulder, your hands remained free, feeling the diminutive weight of the bow on your back, reaching out every now and then to swing on a branch or hurl yourself over a log.

“So, question for you.”

Lo’ak started, throwing himself over a rock to land on the patch of moss.

“Uh huh.”

“If we were to go swimming right now, would we be late going back to high camp?”

You think for a moment.

“Not if we make it quick. Try not to lose your loincloth in the rapids again.”

You snickered, recalling the incident during a fishing trip that your fathers took you on when you were both 12,

Jogging off before he could pull your tail or pinch your ankle or grab your leg or something obnoxious

“For fucks sake, will you ever let that go!?”

A boisterous laugh leaves you as you doubled over against a tree.

“No. It’s so funny.”

“Shut the fuck up. Listen-“

“I’m listening!”

“No you’re not, you're laughing!”

Another cackle leaves you. You wave a hand around, as if to rid the air of your own facetiousness.

“Okay— okay. I’m done. I’m done laughing. I promise.”

The wheezing endnotes of your breathless words betray you, and another fit of laughter leaves you. Lo’ak joins, and your chest starts to ache with the amount of breath that presses through your fits of giggles.

Lo’ak swings an arm around your shoulder throwing you both of balance, as if your steps weren’t already unparalleled and uncoordinated.

“No because- how did you lose your fucking loincloth—“

You rasped, your eyes squeezing shut.

Sounds that you’re almost 89% sure resemble some animal dying leave you and Lo’ak in sync.

And all the shit you’ve been through the last few days seem to just melt away when you’re laughing with your best friend so hard you can’t breathe.

After a few minutes, the chorus of chortles and raspy sentences cease. 

“Oh eywa. You’re a fucking idiot.”

You sigh, shoving him lightly.

“So are you. We’re a package deal.”

He pushes you before sprinting towards the river.

“Lo’ak! Fuck— wait up.”

Lo’ak’s smile was different from Neteyam’s. Neteyam’s was full of warmth and sunlight. Saturn’s rings sulking in a lightning storm of gold gilded gardens. 

Lo’ak’s smile was made of healing boyish hearts and oddly shaped persuasion. Flames and rings of smoke that radiated its warmth beneath incandescent skin. Rattling notes of wooden beads clinking together and a fragile temperament.

He throws himself in the water with a running start, an accented yelp echoed like a final chord striking before a late curtain call of a sunset evening’s songs.

Your laugh is loud, it shakes your body as his head emerges from the water.

“Come on. Don’t be a wuss.”

You took a breath, diving in the water.

You felt your body slicing through the surface, the air around you revisions itself into a 

You enjoyed swimming. And you were actually really good at it. There was something about being in the water that was so soothing, sirenic sensations that seemed to lift the world into light.

Your vision consolidated, surrendering to the soft undercurrents that brushed along your skin.

You motioned your arms and legs forward, propelling yourself through the water. You swiftly raised your head above the water, feeling the surface break as you retreated for air.

As the film of aqua haze vanishes back to the thickened victorious viridescent shades  painted the jungle. The light leaked through the canopy, reigning a rutilant warm glow, burned by the late afternoon sun.

Lo’ak’s silhouette blackens, shadowed by the thick line of fire that forms itself into the shape of sunlight.

“You’re crazy good at that.”

“At what?”

“Swimming.”

 Your mother and father were traders.  

Well, really, your father was.

Your father’s family were the representatives for your clan while traveling and trading for years. 

His family had an almost nomadic lifestyle and spent much of their time away from hometree and the clan. The olo’eyktan of the clan at the time, Lo’ak’s grandfather, followed the tradition of leaders many years before him of entrusting your father’s family to be the ones to travel by ikran away from home in seasonal patterns to trade resources and gather new information to report and bring back to the clan. Its a system that has been in place for many years.

As a child, you occasionally traveled with your parents. Visiting the planes where the tipani resided, and even the beaches under the cliffs where the tayrangi dwelled. When you were little, you loved to swim in the oceans with the other tayrangi children. 

You shrugged. Rubbing the back of your neck, your braids strung loosely about behind you, some  some swaying across the surface of the water and other sinking against your back. 

“My parents took me when they traveled east a lot. Remember? I guess I’ve built up some swimming skills.”

Lo’ak nodded, glancing down at the water before flicking his gaze back towards you.

“Do you think you’ll do it?”

“Do what?”

“Travel. Like your parents did.”

You think for a moment. Letting the silence settle. There was a time, where you and Lo’ak were dumb and 12 years old would stay up past dark quietly sneaking around the clan to steal some snacks and climb the yovo fruit trees that surrounded your village, the one you lived in before high camp. You would whisper about your plans for the future. How one day, you both would pack up your ikran saddles and fly off to a far away land, explore and travel the uncharted territories of Pandora together, and return when the journey ended on your own terms.

“Maybe.”

You hummed, thinking of how possibilities place themselves into puzzle pieces so quickly with time.

He nods, paddling around.

“Remember when we were kids? And we always talked about running away? Convincing my dad to bring back our old trading systems? Just going wherever we wanted? No nagging, no worries, just a bullshit-free life.”

You splashed your face with some water, the refreshing coolness washes down your neck.

“Should we really leave the clan like that?”

Lo’ak snorted.

“Please. I think they’ll be fine. The trade needed to be brought back anyways. There are resources we could use and it’s good to strengthen our connections with the other clans and blah blah blah.”

You couldn’t argue with that.

He swam to you, his expression statued a seriousness that was almost unfamiliar to his usual demeanor. 

“But I want to be real for a moment. I don’t want to be stuck here forever. You hear what Norm and max say. Pandora is huge. It’s too big for us to just stay in the forest for the rest of our lives.”

You frowned, a heaviness blanketed your heart that you couldn't quite name.

“Your family will miss you.”

Lo’ak laughed, but it was thin and forced, almost bitter.

“No. I don’t think they would.”

You shook your head, knowing that wasn’t true.

“Lo’ak. They love you.”

“My siblings and you may love me. But I don’t think the great Toruk Makto always likes me.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he does like you, and that hes just afraid of loosing you?? Because you are so much like him, so much of a mirror into his own youth, he knows the mistakes he made.”

Lo’ak was quiet for a moment. His voice was softer this time, this tell-tale of a familial tragedy that unconditionally refused to acknowledge one’s individuality. Where Jake and Lo’ak walked the thin line of being a mirror that refused reflection, a window that showed you what you prayed you would never see. History’s cruel rhyme schemes never surprised you. Not anymore. 

The hoarseness in his voice edged his tone, you could tell he was disassociating from the conversation.  

“That has nothing to do with me.”

“I think he’s still learning to make peace with that. You never really grow out of growing.”

Silence settled between you before it was shattered by the heavy sweep of water that crashes onto your face.

You cough up some of the water, slapping Lo’ak’s shoulder.

“What the fuck was that for?!”

“Stop being so fucking smart.”

He whined, dunking his head under water.

You rolled your eyes. Yanking him up by his forearm. 

“Lo’ak, I’m serious.”

He glared.

“And I’m not in the mood.”

“Your dad doesn’t hate you. He just-“

“I never said he hates me. I said he doesn’t like me. You don’t have to like someone in order to love them.”

“That’s not— Lo’ak I’m sure-“

“Y/n.”

That was your cue to close the curtain on that conversation. It pained you to know that Lo’ak thought like that. But you knew he would open up. Eventually.

Your mouth tapped shut. Your lips pressing into a thin line. 

He sighed, running his hands down his face roughly.

“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to snap. Not at you. It’s just-“

“It’s okay, Lo. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

And of course, what kind of awkwardness couldn’t be avoided with a change of topic??

You swam next to him, splashing him playfully.

“I’ll tell you what. Let’s wait a few weeks, we’ll pull together something to present to jake. We can meet with him and discuss if he’ll let us travel and revive the trade.”

In all, it wasn’t a bad idea. Which was rare for Lo’ak. The least you could do was give him the opportunity. 

He smiled at you. And before you could say anything, he whooped wildly like a child, his elbow thrown around your neck, forcing you to wade abruptly closer.

“Aye! Y/n! I knew you could come around. We’re going to be such badass travelers.”

You chuckled, patting his back.

“As if I would say no to you.”

“If you did I might have to spit in your food.”

He announces proudly, floating on his back.

You gag.

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m distinguished.”

He corrects, reaching out his arms and moving them slowly in a paddle motion.

☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊ ⋆⁺ ‏𖦹  ₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ 

Water was forgiving. Maybe that’s why you felt so familiar with it.

You haven’t felt forgiven for a lot of things in your life. Not now, anyways.

Underwater was where the sun’s warmth didn’t feel so harsh. You never had trouble discerning the safety and the solitude of land. 

You took a breath before submerging yourself under the 

The vault of the sky caves around its azure dome as light bent and broadened across the surface, stretching the sunset into a  henotic harmony. 

You dived deeper. Your arms pushed you forward, like wings guiding a bird through the skies.

The opaque world of glass rests under the world. The shadows of the depths are drunken words spreading orisons that seem like obstinate Orphics. 

mazarine whispers, and cyan and cerulean sing. 

Your thoughts seem to retreat to the uninhibited corners of your mind as you remain nantant.

Nothing could reach you here.

Well, maybe Lo’ak’s bitchy screeching.

“Y/n! Dude! Come on!”

He yanks you out of the water, his arm uncomfortably clamped around your waist like a child trying to retrieve a toy by fishing it out of water blindly.

You sputtered out the water that rushed to your face with the unexpected motion, so lost in your haze of serenity you barely heard Lo’ak the first time.

You coughed, squirming as he threw you into the plush riverbank grass.

“Shit! Sorry!”

He patted- well more like slapped your back roughly to try and aid your recovery.

“Sorry, sorry. You just weren’t coming up for air. I called your name like 10 times.”

You whacked him with your tail, and he hissed and held the spot on his arm.

“I don’t like being manhandled.”

You rasped, clearing the water from your throat.

“Dude who the fuck cares! My dad will handle us into a ditch if we’re not back in time!” 

Shit.

₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ 

“Keep going!”

You yelled over your shoulder, scrambling over branches and through the brush. 

You jumped over a rock, slinging yourself up a step with a vine, looping around to check on Lo’ak, who was halfway seen sprinting to catch up with you.

“Shit! My bow-!”

“Don’t worry! I grabbed it back at the lake!”

He calls back to you.

“Just keep going!”

You nodded, nearly tripping as you sprang forward once again.

You raised two fingers to your lips, pressing air as the shriek of a whistle left you.

The flap of wings you heard wasn’t that far away.

You stopped at when you reached a cleaning, turning around to see Lo’ak skid to a stop.

Kailo landed infront of you both, you Quickly mounted him, throwing your bow in the holster on the side of the saddle.

“Hey buddy.”

Lo’ak cooed in a rushed manner, quickly giving him a few pats before hopping on behind you. You reached back, pulling him up. He wrapped an arm around your neck, hiking up his legs.

“Comfy?”

You asked, turning around to meet Lo’ak’s eyes. He was out of breath, chest heaving.

“Uh huh— SHIT.”

You took off before he could answer, gently digging your heels into the sides of the saddle, pulling the strapped reign as Kailo took off.

Lo’ak tightened his hold using his elbow around your neck, his upright headlock was no unfamiliarity whenever you gave him rides.

But this is Lo’ak we’re talking about. Of course he got comfortable quickly.

There was a comfort to flying with Lo’ak.

It made you feel like a little kid again. Carrying eachother around on your backs, playing games and doing stupid things for stupid reasons because there was a time where being stupid was fun and okay.

And maybe, with Lo’ak, being stupid wasn’t so bad.

You banked left, diving through the center of an arched mountain over the forest. Lo’ak cheered and whooped, throwing his hands up, before cursing and holding onto you again after realizing he almost lost his balance.

His palm roughly cupped your shoulder as he sat himself up a bit higher, looking out onto the world below.

You climb a lift of air before directing Kailo to drop, a straight dive down the waterfall. Once you leveled out again, you and Lo’ak both leaned to the side, letting your fingertips skim the surface of the lake below.

You were never carelesss or reckless with Kailo. He was one of the fastest ikran your clan had ever seen, plus he was larger than most average ikran. That was no excuse to go flying so fast you fling yourself off the saddle.

But occasionally, you let yourself go.

“Please please please go faster!”

Lo’ak yelled, his volume competing wit. The wind.

“What? No. Any faster and we’ll crash into something.”

“Please!?”

Eh, why not? He’s had a rough couple of days. So have you.

You dived down again, grinning as you joined Lo’ak in his wild bouts of yelling.

But the fun didn’t last forever. Ahead, high camp came into view.

₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ 

You could feel Lo’ak’s hand shaking slightly as you both touched down through the large entrance crevice of high camp.

“Dad’s gonna kill us.”

Lo’ak groaned, sliding off the saddle behind you, petting Kailo a few times.

“Just relax and let me do the talking.”

You shook your head, giving his shoulder a small squeeze.

“It’ll be okay, I promise.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know everything.”

“Where the hell have you crotch stains been!?”

And you sure as hell knew who that voice belonged to.

Lo’ak jumped a bit, turning to see Jake barging himself towards you both.

“Fuck.”

Lo’ak muttered under his breath. So quietly he might not have said it all.

He hung his head, a few of his braids swinging over his shoulders, he shifted uncomfortably on his feet, only glancing up once to look at you.

A few heads turned, some na’vi bearing witness to the spectacle of their olo’eyktan yelling at his kids.

And boy, he did not look happy.

Lo’ak puts both hands up, something you’ve noticed Neteyam do when Jake got heated like this. As if trying to calm a raging animal from attacking.

“Dad, I know this looks bad.”

“I would be concerned if you thought this didn’t ‘look bad’, Lo’ak.”

Jake bit back, his taller figure looming over his son.

Lo’ak bit his lip, his fingers twitch as his fingers dangle at his sides.

“You disobeyed me.”

The space between his brow wrinkles offensively.

“How did I disobey you?”

“I asked you, I asked ALL of your siblings this morning to let y/n rest and i found out you two go off on a joyride!?”

“Slow down Jake or you’ll have a heart attack.”

You sigh, stepping forward until your gaze is paralleled with his.

Lo’ak snorts, but he quickly masks his amusement as Jake sends him a glare, then he sends you one.

“You and I will talk later, I can only deal with one delinquent at a time.”

He waves you away.

“No, since you have enough to dish out for Lo’ak here, i’m sure there;s plenty for us to share.”

You felt like a teenager edged with attitude, especially when you loved and respected Jake so much. But seeing Lo’ak get wrung out all the time was exhausting. 

“Jake this wasn’t Lo’ak’s fault.”

Lo’aks shaking fingers stilled, the ghost your side, gesturing to you that you didn’t have t0 take this for him.

“I’m the one that suggested we go for a ride. We took kailo and went to the lake for a few hours. Cleared my head. Did some meditating just like you suggested.”

You nudge him playfully, but the man didn;t look amused. Conflicted was probably the right word.

��Either way, I said he was to stay away from you for at least a day.”

“Jake, he doesn;t run up my blood pressure like he does yours. He’s fine. No one was hurt. Nothing happened, and Lo’ak didn’t want me to go alone.”

You Lo’ak a look, commionucating silently with your eyes.

Dude. say something.

Lo’ak nods, fishing himself out of a daze.

“R-right. Yes. right, we just went to the lake, dad.”

Jake sighed, rubbing his fingers to his temple, attempting to soothe the brewing headache, virtue to the usual shenanigans Lo’ak and you could never seem to shake.’

“Guys, i really don’t think that-”

“Wait! The only reason we stayed longer is because Lo’ak wanted to grab these.”

You grabbed the satchel that rested on Lo’aks hip, opening the woven flap to display the fruits you gathered earlier.

You gently thwacked lo’ak with your tail, and he immeditaaly caught the jist.

“I know theyre mom’s favorites.”

Lo’ak batted his eyes while you gave jake a sickeningly sweet smile.

He groaned, turning away.

“Out of my sight. Both of you. Now.”

“Okay thanks! Love you dad!!”

You and Lo’ak sprinted across the camp, submerged in your own laughter. You scurried mo’at;s tent, shutting the flap when he turned to you.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Eywa wouldn't let us face battles if she knew we were going to do it alone.” 

₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊

Neteyam’s pov, the sullys tent:

My mother hates crowds. It’s not something I’ve inherited. 

You can tell by the way she shrinks behind my father or grandmother when we have clan gatherings. The way she resorts to fidgeting with her songchord or holding Tuk’s hand to distract herself from the ocean of eyes that are standing in front of her.

Tonight the clan eats communally. We do it every once in a while. My grandmother told me that the people did it every night before hometree was destroyed, but as time faded, so did our habits, I suppose.

Maybe thats why tonight, as my family prepares to leave for communal meal, the air is uneasy and tense.

Kiri and I had been home almost all day, watching Tuk while my grandmother rested and my mother attended to her duties around high camp.

It feels empty without my father, Lo’ak, and y/n.

My mothers voice pulls my attention.

“Neteyam, go wake your grandmother.”

She kneeled down in the corner, tending to Tuk, trying to pick the leaves out of her hair.

“Uh huh. Give me a second.”

I set the freshly washed bowls I just finished scrubbing down in the pile where we left all our dishes. 

I turned to see my grandmother, currently 18ft deep in her beyond-afternoon nap. 

I sighed, stretching my arms behind my back, locking my fingers together to soothe the tightness in my muscles as I walk my way over to her.

“Grandmother.”

I tap her shoulder, her snores blaring lowly.

I sigh. Waking up my grandmother was usually a two man job.

“Grandmother? Grandmother???”

She stirs, but doesn’t wake.

I poke her shoulder lightly with my fingers.

She gasps awake, flinging her arm at my face, I step back, flinching at the action.

She sits up, squinting at me before her gaze softens.

“Neteyam, I’m sorry. I thought you were your father.”

“So you were planning to smack my father?”

“That’s beyond the point. I had the most wonderful dream.”

She reminisced dreamily.

I shifted on my feet awkwardly.

“That’s wonderful, grandmother. But I woke you because-“

“Quiet boy. I’m speaking.”

Great. Just what I was aiming to avoid.

I straighten, a rough breath falling from my lips. Settling in for the haul of whatever was to come.

“Apologies, Tsahik. You were saying?”

“Well.”

She begins.

“It was many years ago…when your mother told me she was with child.”

“Uh huh.”

“And then once she started, eywa she just wouldn’t stop..one child after another..”

I catch my mother glaring out of the corner of my eye.

“Neteyam, I think your grandmother can get up on her own.”

She hisses.

Grandmother waves her off.

“Don’t listen to her, boy. Go fetch my cane.”

My mother throws her arms up to express exaggeration.

“You don’t need a cane, Sa’nok.”

I stand warily between the two of them.

“And you don’t need to be sneaking off with your husband every few nights.”

My grandmother shoots back.

Maybe there was a reason for my father’s constant headaches.

It’s kiri’s voice that grasps my attention. I turn to see her enter the Marui with a half-weaved basket in her hands.

“Neteyam, while the golden girls are fighting, you might wanna take the time to worry about yourself.”

I shake my head, protesting gently. Something keeping me tied to multitasking bites at the back of my mind.

“No, I got it.”

She gives me a look, setting the basket-in-progress down and crossing her arms.

“Neteyam, you have been chasing Tuk around all day, helping mother clean, and as much as I know you enjoy being serenaded by grandmothers snoring, you need a break.”

“Kiri, really I'm fine.”

“I wasn’t asking. Go.”

Arguing with Kiri was useless. There was no competing with full-bodied ambition when ignited. 

I surrender. Retreating behind the curtain of the divider between the two areas of my family’s home.

I busy myself with personal tasks. Sharpening my knife, rummaging through lo’ak’s hammock to retrieve the armbands I know for a fact he's stolen from me. Again.

About 1o minutes had passed. I had found 8 armbands when I heard the familiar voice of my father as he entered the tent.

I slip under the divider sheet to see him. He alternates looks between Lo’ak and Y/n as they shuffle inside.

“Ma’jake.”

My mother sighs in relief, as if my father is the shower of fresh rain after a drought.  She holds Tuk on her hip as she squirms and giggles.

“Where have you been? There is much that needs to be done.”

My father pauses as he takes in each dilemma. 

Kiri and Grandmother arguing in the corner.

My mother is holding an overly-hyper tuk.

Lo’ak and Y/n laughing for whatever reason.

And me. Peeking out from behind the sheet.

“I can see that.”

He affirms, reaching out to take tuk off my mother’s hands.

running his hand down her back in soothing circles, trying to get both of them to calm down.

My father knows my mother is full of love. He also knows when not enough of that love is kept for herself.

Lo’ak stares at our parents, his expression of mild disgust.

“Do you two want a moment alone?”

A laugh follows, my eyes ascertaining to its source.

Her. Oh it’s her. 

Oh. 

It’s her.

She stands behind Lo’ak, a lean azure frame. Droplets gleam and scintillate as they slide down her skin. Her bangles and bracelets shine under the fractured light. I try so hard not to stare. I try to focus on anything. Anything at all. Anything that won’t make me feel like I’m staring at a woman who’s wet and shiny like some kind of pervert. 

Fuck. That sounded like I was describing a river rock or something.

‘wEt aNd sHiNy.’ 19 years old, future Olo’eyktan of your clan  and you can’t even talk. I feel like the ground envelops me in quicksand, my lungs famine for air. Eywa, she was pretty.

‘Pretty’ feels like a disparagement. Makes me feel inarticulate for lacking a better word. Beautiful. Stunning. Hot? Is hot weird? She is hot. Is that weird? Am I weird?

If there is another word. I’ll find it

Her braids cascade down her back, a crown of curls and waves Unwinding at the where the braids end, the curls I sometimes imagine spilling through my fingers while I capture sweet sounds that fall from her lips.

Am I weird for this? 

My father speaks, yanking me out of my haze.

“Baby, I can always call off the clan gathering if you’re not feeling a crowd tonight.”

He adjusts Tuk on his hip, picking a leaf out of her hair.

My mother shakes her head.

“No. I’m alright. There is just much to be done before we leave…”

My dad nods graciously, placing Tuk back to her feet again.

“Say no more. We’ll get everyone outta here in one piece.”

“Were you planning on us leaving disembodied?”

Kiri asks, her tone welcoming sarcasm in its arms.

Lo’ak chimes in.

“Can I swap out my loincloth real quick? I hate having the wet weaving slapping against me every time I walk.”

“Then why would you get wet?”

Kiri asks, rather harshly.

“Why do you cut your hair like that knowing your forehead is too big?”

“It astounds me how every day you talk about my forehead. Did you know they almost had to cut mom open because your head was so abnormally enormous??”

Lo’ak looks at my mom with incredulous eyes. 

“Ma she’s lying. Right?”

My mom evades any squander of the moment as she turns to duck under the divider flap to where  my parents slept.

“Ma’Jake, I’m going to change my top before we leave.”

Lo’ak falls to his knees, a dramatic anguished groan leaves him.

“Oh shit. I’m a freak. I’m a freak with a huge head.”

“You’re not a freak. You just have your fathers genes. I’m sure Jake was unusually large as well.” y/n comforts him, gesturing to my father.

“The hell I wasn’t.” My dad pipes up, trying to wrestle Tuk into sitting still.

Kiri shrugs, leaning against the wooden pillar to the side of the sheet as she fidgets with one of Y/n’s braids, standing behind her.

“I think we should banish Lo’ak for the attempted murder of the Tsahik daughter.”

I snicker, nudging Kiri 

“Mother would have joined eywa doing what she loved. Screaming at father.”

She laughed, tossing her head back.

Lo’ak’s jaw drops, he tries to speak but only a string of syllables come out.

“That’s not fucking fair.”

My dad glares at all three of us.

“Watch your mouth boy. And what did I say about plotting murder during dinner.”

Y/n blinks, tilting her head.

“We aren’t eating dinner.”

“I don’t give a damn-!

Okay, you know what? New rule. No discussing murder. Period.”

Kiri clicks her tongue, the usual gleam flickering across her irises.

“Can we discuss manslaughter?”

The sentence teases its own tone.

She places her palms against one another in a paring position before pointing them outwards towards my father.

Y/n mimics her.

“If we can’t discuss it can we at least plan one? Me and Kiri have already worked out a date and time.”

“And we have a target.”

Kiri adds, nodding confidently.

“For the love of god, I will put all of you on time out. And your grandmother can join you.”

My father threatens. Glaring at all of us.

Grandmother speaks as she slowly arises from her sitting spot on the floor, Lo’ak assisting her by holding her arm.

“Good. That will give me and the children time to plot against you.”

She speaks matter-of-factly.

I laugh, watching Tuk’s big eyes travel between my father and the rest of us as she tries to keep up with the conversation.

We all turn to see my mother as her figure is guided back through the divider, a new top now covering her chest.

It had flowers on it, delicately placed in a pattern over her breasts. Vines braided over her shoulders to hold the garment in place.

My fathers eyes take the shape of stars as he sees her, the sun setting outside and him both share a flicker of breath as she moves toward us.

“Are we ready?”

She asks, placing some of her braids behind her shoulder.

My father whistles, a hand coming up to cover the grin that etched its way onto his face.

“Goddamn. You look..”

“Like a pretty flower!”

Tuk chirps, clapping excitedly as she runs to my mother, hugging her waist.

“I was gonna say gorgeous, but yeah. That works too.”

Gorgeous. That’s the word I was looking for.

She giggles as she strides her way over to him, He takes a step behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist, another hand tracing circles in her hip.

“Y/n made this one.”

She murmurs, speaking quietly for my father.

“Do you like it?”

“Kids’ got taste. It’s stunning. Do a spin for me.”

My dad nods approvingly, Y/n feigns cockiness, posing and swaying her hips.

“Of course I have taste. The best there is, no doubt.”

Out of all of the fabrics, all the leaves and flowers and materials on the planet, I think her smile always looks the most stunning.

“You know who else has taste?”

My father whispers, clearly not quiet enough, the endnotes a purr.

My mother gasps, it twirls into a chuckle.

“Ma’Jake, the children are watching.”

“Kids, look away!”

My dad demands, kissing my mothers cheek as she squirms in his arms.

“Oh I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Kiri gags, clearly not fawning over my parents' affections the way y/n or tuk is.

My grandmother wedges herself between my parents, poking my fathers chest.

“Enough of this. It is time to depart. Before you both go and make another child I will have to deal with it.”

That was my fathers cue as he sighs dramatically, scooping up a squirming Tuk and twirling her around like a princess.

“Alright family let’s get going. Roll tide.”

“Roll tide!”

Tuk mimics my fathers lingo as we exit the tent, single file. 

Tuk scurries infront of me. Hopping vigorously to squeeze her way in between my parents as they walk ahead of us. 

Lo’ak and Kiri take turns bickering with grandmother, keeping their paces ahead of me.

I saunter off behind them. The cool air and dwindling distant conversations plexure in the atmosphere. Families talking, children laughing, all coalesce into a chorus that ceases its journey where the darkening night sky ends.

I turn as I feel a tap on my shoulder,

Big, doe-like gold eyes invade my gaze. Those eyes are my vice. My biggest sorrow and my greatest gift.

The auric hues captivate me. The gleam so picturesque the shadows run for shelter. 

She’s still wet from the river. The shine from the droplets define her features, tracing every curve, clinging to every dip.

I feel ensnared in her equivalent of hypnosis. The expanse of her throat, the coves of her eyelids, every inch of her has me infatuated.

She doesn’t look like she belongs here. Her features lack those of a mortal being in regularity. A deity you’d sacrifice yourself for in the form of a disguise.

“Oh— you.”

Oh wow. That must make women swoon. ‘Oh. You.’ Might as well have said ‘ew. It’s you.’

Pull yourself together!

She recoils, its so slight you might not have noticed it at all.

She’s nervous. 

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to check up on you.”

Her steps find competence as they match my own. Her fingers lock together as she strides with them behind her back.

I awkwardly shuffle to keep pace with her.

“Oh, no. Please don’t apologize.”

I wave my hands stupidly, as if she’s hard of hearing and needs to have everything signaled. 

I clear my throat, clearing the hoarseness. Letting a silence settle before I realize what she’s said.

“You..wanted to check on me?”

She nods, her eyes meeting mine for a 

moment. She’s only a few inches shorter than me. It always reminds me of how she teased me when we were kids, saying I’d never catch up to her height. 

“Yeah. Well, I mean, I just…Lo’ak told me you were acting a little…off? This morning?”

Oh. You mean where you consumed every single one of my waking thoughts? This morning where I woke up still imaging you hugging me? This morning? Where I woke up stunned, paralyzed, drunken in enamorment of how on eywa’s green ground you could possibly be real when you have beauty of such extravagance?

“I have no idea what you speak of.”

I shrug,  crossing my arms over my chest.

She’s skeptical.

“Oh. I see.”

“Yup. Nothing wrong.”

“So, you weren’t moaning into a a fruit this morning?”

A who-was-moaning-into-a what?

“What are you talking about?”

She laughs, shaking her head.

“I just heard from a friend, that you were…excited for breakfast.”

Oh, the joy of having siblings.

I groan.

“No, that was a misunderstanding.”

She nods, trying to regain seriousness.

“Of course..I figured it was.”

Her cheeks puff slightly, harboring laughter.

I would probably be annoyed if it was anyone but her. and if her laugh wasn’t my favorite sound.

“Okay, you know what? It was early, I was tired-“

“Oh please. I’ve known you since you could walk. You’ve always been a morning person.”

I scoff, trying to pretend she wasn’t right.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Neteyam, I’m going to be your teacher soon. You should confide in me,”

Her arm accidentally brushes mine as we walk.

“So I should know if there’s something between you and that fruit that might interfere with your focus.”

I sigh, shaking my head, my tail gently swishing behind me.

“Say it with me now. Okay? 1..2..3…you’ve been spending too much time with Lo’ak.”

She chortles, recoiling at the sound.

I doesn’t phase me.

Not one bit.

“It’s the other way around.”

She argues.

“I can’t disagree. Last week I caught him wearing one of your armbands..”

“The one your father gifted me after completing my rites of passage?”

“Amber stones, arrowed weaving?”

She snaps her fingers.

“That’s the one! The bastard. I’ve been searching for weeks.”

I chuckle, catching a glimpse of her profile at the side of my gaze.

“I don’t blame him, you know.”

My voice carried a sincereness that seemed out of place with the conversation.

She looks at me, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“For looking up to you.”

She scoffs.

“Neteyam-“

“No. I’m serious.”

And as much as I regret cutting her off, the way she said my name, so tired, as if it was worn.

“You are one of the strongest warriors this clan has ever seen. I know that for a fact. I hear the way my parents speak of you. The way the people look at you, the way the children braid their hair to look like you. Everyone loves and admires you. I know for a fact I lov-“

She slows for a millisecond. That’s all it took to correct myself. Her steps only broke its pace as consciousness calculated on the ledge of what i knew so well I almost said.

“I love admiring you. I hope you know that.”

She shifts slightly, her fingers fidgeting with one another instead of being held behind her. I can tell my words are an impudent invasion that scratch and claw at the walls she’s built.

“You don’t have to say things like that.”

All I can do is smile.

“I wasn’t born with jesters privilege, I’m only saying what I know. I’m not glorifying you.”

And suddenly, i forgot the concept of boundaries.

I blame the aureate iridescence in the paradox of her irises. 

“You just don’t give yourself enough credit.”

She looks at me, confusion capturing her.

“What are you talking about?”

I shrug.

“You’ve saved lives. Protected our clan. Defended us against the sky people. What more can you ask of yourself?”

She stops walking this time. Her eyes staring straight ahead of us. 

Her head turns slowly to stare at me. It’s not a look of offense, or fear.

My hand reaches for her back, my palm placed against the small of it.

“It’s just something to think about.”

☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊ ⋆⁺ ‏𖦹  ₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊ ⋆⁺ ‏𖦹  ₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎

Y/n’s pov 

You stare at him as if he's shown you colors for the first time. Epiphanies impulse under your skin, their unwelcomed and you’re unprepared.

As you approach the large area where other clan members have already sat down with their families, sharing food and laughter, you find yourself wandering astray.

“Give yourself more credit.”

Credit for what? What did you do to deserve praise?

Protected others? It wasn’t a task. It was second nature. If you didn't, what else would they ate from you?

What were you if not the sword and shield? What would you become the day the war ended?

There was no credit to be given. There was nothing to be given because there was nothing left. Because you refuse to repeat your mistakes. To suffer at another’s hand, to suffocate under the wreckage of what was built only to be torn down. Cankered, tattered, stained fingers clutching at the flesh that stretched across your bones, bruises worn like badges of honor. 

You were afraid. So afraid of being sheltered and delicate. Being blinded and impetuous. 

“Y/n. Come sit with me.”

You feel an arm link with yours, and you catch Kiri at your side.

The stray braids that hung by her neck like vines from a canopy of verdant haven swung while she walked. She guides you out of your solivangant sondering.

Her gestures were laconic. Her eyes marbled over with a generous concern as she whisked you away, grabbing a wooden bowl for herself and one for you as well where they were being distributed.

“Are you alright, dear? You’re zoning out a ton.” She whispers, placing a hand on your back.

You shake every former thought from your head, washing your mind clean.

“No, it is nothing. It’s foolish.”

“It’s not foolish if it’s bothering you.”

She corrects, looking down as she gathers some meat onto her plate from the communal fire.

You shift on your feet, eyes trailing her movements.

“I’m fine. I just..suppose i haven’t eaten enough today. Its making me spacey and slow.”

She nods slowly, her tail lightly swishing behind her.

“Well then, take this plate.”

She hands you the plate she had just finished filling with roasted sturmbeast, and squares of yovo fruit.

You shake your head graciously, handing it back yo her mindlessly.

“Oh Kiri no– no this was yours.”

She scoffs, waving you off.

“I'm more than capable of making myself a new plate.”

She smiles at you, and the familiarity of it is a comfort. 

The frail dark bangs that wisped lightly above her eyebrows sweep subtly in the night breeze, the weightless braids that hang on the sides of her head swing softly, you reach your hands out and tuck a strand behind her ear, your fingertips grazing the subtle honey-oak streaks, a delicacy in your touch as if you were handling something a fragile as a flower petal.

“You’re so good to me.” Your tone was beatific, gentle.

She smiles smugly, dragging her fingers across where your collarbones rose and fell upon each drawn breath before handing you the plate once again.

“I’m keeping you alive and fed.”

Lo’ak peaks himself from behind kiri, his tail swishing.

“Kiri can you make my plate next?”

Her smile drops.

“No. Make your own damn plate.”

She rolls her eyes, grabbing another wooden piece to start piling with food for herself.

Lo’ak gawks, offended.

“You made Y/n’s no problem!”

“That’s because I like y/n. I tolerate you.”

You laugh as Kiri links her arm with yours, whisking you away to the large dwelling in the center of highcamp.

A large fire with meat cooking over it, and families scattered into their little circles and sat around the ground, people weaving in and out to reach their group.

Some families wave to you, calling out thanks as you walked, because it was you who had hunted the sturmbeest with neteyam they were eating now.

Kiri and you found a seat next to Mo’at. Neytiri, Lo’ak, Tuk, Neteyam, and Jake had not returned yet, so you 3 waited.

“Did you girls get everything you need?”

Mo’at asks, resting her hand atop her knee.

You nodded, taking a seat.

“Yes ma’tsahik. We did.”

There was an unspoken formality between you and Mo’at. Despite her knowing you since you were born. An implicit etiquette that’s been emplaced in you ever since childhood.

She reaches out for your arms, her nails scarcely printing tiny marks on your palm as she inspects your wrist and hand.

“Your cuts are healing.” She informs you, somehow knowing even though your incises from the day before are not visible anymore.

You figured the cuts you got from spider's mask would heal relatively quickly. However, the memories of the accident would leave a different kind of scar. 

You gently placed your hand back in your lap, your gaze only flicking away from Mo’at to see Tuk skipping towards your small sitting area with a bowl in her hand.

“The lake water might have sped up the process. It’s not bothering me, though. Just another couple cuts to add to my collection.”

Kiri giggles, nudging your arm.

“Another paint stroke to complete the masterpiece. Maybe we should hang you up next to tuk’s artwork.”

You snicker, making room for the smaller na’vi in question as she scurries to your side, snuggling herself in place next to you on the log.

“Healing cannot be rushed, child. Scars are more than just victories. It’s time you know that.”

Tuk gasps just as Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Neytiri find their places in the circle. 

She peers her head over your shoulder, looking down at your palm.

“It’s gonna be a scar??”

She blinked up at you with those big, disquieted, doleful eyes. She concernedly fumbled with your fingers, and you have to quickly gather her bowl into your lap with your other hand before it tips off her own with all of her movement.

“Oh no Tuk. I’m okay, love.” You kissed the top of her head, smiling at the way her nose twitched when you did.

“Do you want a kiss? To make it better.”

“Awh, sure. Thank you.”

She presses her lips to your bandaged palm.

“Mwah! All better.”  her sweet and stagey movements make you melt, proudly admiring her work.

“Thank you, Tuk-tuk.”

“Mhm.”

She sits back down, and you hand over her bowl.

She starts to eat, carefully picking the seeds out of her fruit slices.

“Are scars good or bad?”

She muffles through a mouthfull of juices.

Jake shrugs, leaning over to wipe the corners of her mouth with his thumb.

“Depends who you ask.”

Neytiri nods, her hand pressed to her chest briefly as she swallowed her bite before speaking.

‘Your father is correct. Scars are pieces of our memories. We carry them with us.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, either. Back where i come from we wear our scars like badges of honor.”

Jake chimes in, setting his elbow on his knee, his back stretching forward.

Mo’at scoffed.

“Don’t listen to your father, children.”

Waving him off, she took a sip from her herbal tea. 

Jake frowned, wincing as if he were in a cramping-kinda pain.

“Oh, I think I just got a new one.”

“A what?”

Neytiri inquires, concerned, confused, placing a hand on her husbands back.

“A new scar?”

“From what?”

“My mother in law..agh, how she wounds me.”

Neytiri hisses, a smile breaking from her and my fathers lips. 

Mo’at is unamused.

Jake shakes his head as his laughter dies out.

“Come on, I mean, it’s symbolic.”

“Symbolic of what? Stupidity?”

Mo’at chuckled.

“Of bravery. Strength. Survival.”

Jake defies the Tsahik gently.

“Scars are cool.”

Lo’ak agrees half-mindedly, munching and speaking with a full mouth in a similar manner to Tuk.

“Look at y/n. Her scars are badass as fuck.”

You kept your head down. Stuck between accepting it as a compliment or perceiving it as pernicious.

“Lo’ak, we do not speak of others bodies.”

Neytiri sterns.

“Right, and how many times have i told you to watch that mouth.” 

Jake rebuked Lo’ak’s word choice rigorously, pinching the back of his neck lightly.

Lo’ak shrunk away from his touch, receiving it with nothing much than a scrunch of his face before continuing.

“Scars are like ways of saying ‘I got through it’. You know? I mean, I’d rather have a scar than the other alternatives.”

Neytiri opened her legs the slightest bit, propping up one crossed as she displayed the inner of her thigh. With delicate fingers, she traced over a darkened discoloration, a jagged scar that dragged across the surface.

“This scar appeared shortly after giving birth to Tuktirey.”

She explained, her tone soothing and benign. 

You leaned forward, getting a closer glimpse at it.

Tuk pouted, guilt striking her expression.

“I did that? I’m sorry.”

You gently drew her closer to your side, a small laugh that was horribly compressed left you.

“No, Tuk. You didn’t do it. Some mothers get them after having babies. It’s normal.”

You explained.

Neytiri nodded, smiling graciously at you for explaining so gently.

“That’s right. And it has been with me ever since that day. It’s a symbol. Like your father says. Celebrating the day of arrival for a gift in my life.”

She gently runs her slender fingers down Tuk’s cheek in an affectionate stroke, Tuk giggles at the sensation.

Jake took a swig from his cup.

“Hell, if that’s not strength, I don’t know what is. I know I sure as hell couldn’t do it.”

“Ew dad. We know. We know how the male body works.”

Kiri retorted, appalled.

“I’m surprised mom doesn’t have a scar from giving birth to Lo’ak and his big head.”

Neteyam mumbles into his cup, clearly not quietly enough.

A laugh was shared around the circle, even Neteyam shaking with chuckles as his head hung low for the moment.

Tuk looked at you, big eyes gleaming with curiosity.

“You have scars. Do you like them??”

The circle became silent for a moment.

“Tuk!”

Neytiri and Jake both hissed in unison, their tone hesitant, scold-like.

“Tuk, we don’t ask such things.”

Neteyam, always the 3rd parent, corrects softly.

Tuk glances back at you, the sully’s eyes tracking her gaze.

You shook your head, clearing your throat of the hoarsness.

“No, no. Its alright. I mean, we were talking about it, right? No harm in asking.”

You turned to tuk, your eyes softening at the sight of her.

“Most of them, yes. They are symbols, like your father says. Scars are like..stories. Every single one has a place of origin, epitomes of remaining unbroken.”

“I like this one.”

Tuk points to the scar on your shoulder, the zig-zag imprint that dragged across the plate of your acromion almost resembling lightning.

You smiled, letting her trace her smaller fingers over it.

“So do i.”

You whisper.

Neytiri smiles at the both of you. Her gaze holds its tender warmth, radiating its warmth like a sun ray washing your soul.

“My beautiful girls.” She coos, reaching out to kiss Tuk’s head and Tuk a braid behind your ear.

She turns to Kiri, side-gazing at Lo’ak and Neteyam.

“All of you are beautiful. No matter how many scars you have, you are all so much more than what lies on your skin.”

“We’re not beautiful Neteyam and I are stoic, unfeeling, we don’t have time for that.”

Lo’ak affirms, proudly slinging an arm around Neteyam, making him lurch to the side awkwardly, a couple of fruit slices roll off his plate due to the action.

“Lo’ak, my food.” Neteyam swats Lo’ak away.

Neytiri pouts, “No, both of my sons are beautiful.”

She grabs Neteyam’s face, peppering it with kisses before she does the same to Lo’ak.

Lo’ak groans, floundering in her hold.

“Ma, come on..stop..Okay, okay, stop. I’m not beautiful, I’m handsome.”

Neytiri taps his nose with her finger. “You’re both.”

 She giggles.

“You’re neither, you hell-raiser.”

Kiri hisses blatantly.

The air remained unscathed of burden as laughter simmered in the air, you found nepenthe with the Sully family, making the night seem so endless it could stretch into the stratosphere. 

»»———–➤𖤓☽꩜———–➤𖤓☽꩜———𖤓☽꩜———–➤»»———–𖤓☽꩜———»

You laughed as you spun Tuk around by her arms, the meaningless balter keeping her entertained her laughter.

“Again! Again!”

She laughs, jumping up and down, reaching up to be spun around again.

You smile, grabbing her arms.

“Okay, okay- ready? 1…2..3..”

Supporting her tightly by her forearms, you swing her around as her squeals of laughter flood your ears.

“Y/n, you up for a quick flight?”

It was Jake’s voice that beckoned your attention. You turned away from playing with tuk to see him gathering the wooden bowls in his arms to haul back to the sully’s tent.

“Right now?”

He nods, shifting the pile in his arms. “Yeah. I mean, do you have something planned?”

You can’t remember the last time Jake Sully willingly encouraged anyone in his family to go on ikran out after dark since the return of the Rda unless it was him and Neytiri for the occasional date night.

You turn to Neytiri,  who only gives Jake a pensive look.

“Will you be out late?”

He shakes his head.

“Of course not, baby. Just taking Y/n out for a little nighttime crusade.”

Neytiri nods, slowly and pensively as she hands the bowls in her hands over to Neteyam.

There’s a stretch of quiet that spreads through the air. High camp was settling down for the evening. Families gathering up their food and families and eating ware and retreating back to their tents and huts for rest. It was unusual to be out past that tim unless Jake had arranged a patrol group.

“Where are you guys even going this late?” Lo’ak queries intrepidly.  

Jake shrugs, starting to walk behind Mo’at, who held hands with Tuk and walked alongside Kiri back towards the sully’s tent.

“Just got something’s to discuss.”

Jake’s answers are succinct and ambiguous.

Neteyam rears himself closer to Jake, his steps carefully matching pace with his father as he carted the woven sack of sitting mats under his arm.

“Will you be discussing the next raid? I can accompany you both if needed, father.”

He glances at you preventively, as if desiring to shape himself into a shield around you.

Jake causally declined his offer, patting his shoulder supportively.

“I think we’re good for tonight, son. You can rest easy.”

Neteyam nods, but you can tell he’s chastened. Jake always kept Lo’ak and Neteyam in this constant cage that clipped their wings, keeping them away from the fighting.

But something tells you this wasn’t about raid planning, or even the war.

Jake hands the pile in his arms off to Kiri, who mumbles under her breath as she tries to catch up with Mo’at. He turns to you, “Y/n, why don’t you run along and gear up Kailo. I’ll meet you at the crevice in a few minutes.”

Before you could answer, Neytiri appears behind him, her eyes softening soothingly, her gaze condemning with concern.

“Please be safe. Both of you.”

She whispered, placing a hand on your cheek and reaching up to kiss Jake’s shoulder.

“Baby, nothing will happen to her or me as long as I’m there.”

Neytiri doesn’t seem consoled.

“Y/n, please keep an eye on him.”

She sighs.

You chuckle, letting her kiss your hairline.

“I promise.”

She cracks a small smile, Jake reaches for her palm. Ghosting her fingertips across her lip, kissing the heel of her palm.

As if committing the feel of her skin to memory, even if he’s not away from her for long.

“Don’t worry I’ll be back before you know it.”

He winks at her, his eyes drifting to the cinch of her waist.

“Ew gross.”

You recoil, scrunching up your nose at Jake.

He rolls his eyes, waving you off.

“Go. Get your ikran ready. I’ll be there in a bit.”

You nod, jogging off to the rookery where your clans ikrans resided.

The air tonight was warm. Undertones of a glass remnants and tattered clouds. You were halfway to the crevice, quieting yourself with your inner thoughts, when you paused at the call of your name.

“Y/n!”

A juvenile voice echoes behind you. High pitched and distinct.

You turn around, and a small Na’vi child comes into view. She has yellow feathers in her hair. A woven grass top and braids that reached her shoulder blades. 

Popiti. She was one of your students. She was apart of the group of children Makeyo and you taught archery lessons.

“Popiti! What are you doing here, evi’? (Child, affectionate.)

She scampered to you, wrapping her arms around your waist, smiling wide.

“She wanted to come say thank you.”

Another voice gathered your attention.

A taller Na’vi slowly sweeps her way out of the shadows. Tall. Feminine. Her steps were rushed. They lacked gracefulness. Her confidence was pure forgery, wearing a mask made of fool's gold and a fetish for mystique.

“Kyuna.”

You greeted, your face rather neutral.

Kyuna was only older than you by a year. Regardless of your age, you always surpassed her in most aspects.

Hunting?

She could never finish a hunt. Meanwhile you were dragging home freshly arrows skin-deep in a yerik.

Status?

Everyone is valued in your clan. That was a known fact. But it was you who was named the Olo’eyktan a strongest warrior.

You were stronger. Faster. Smarter. 

It made you feel a bit guilty, how often so many didn’t make any effort to make your transcendence discreet. 

She smiled at you. It was thin. Fake. Feigning any ounce of genuine decency.

“Popiti here wanted to thank you for y tonight’s meal. It was you who hunted the sturmbeast, right?”

You nodded, still stroking the top of Popiti’s head affectionately

“Yes. I was. It was my pleasure, Popiti.”

You smiled graciously down at the little girl who beamed up at you as if you were everything she ever wanted to become.

“When I get big, I’m going to be a warrior just like you. I’m gonna have a beautiful bow, with carvings and beads just like yours! And I’m gonna have-“

Your heart melts a bit as she rambles on, every word idolizing you.

A sudden hand on her head cuts her off. Kyuna pulls her closer in the opposite direction. Her ability to endure the nicety’s hanging by a thread. 

“Popiti, why don’t you run along home.”

Her smile pathetically conceals the bite in her tone.

“But I don’t know how-“

“Now.”

With a small, sad wave, the smaller Na’vi huffs and stomps away.

You tilt your head back up to Kyuna.

When your eyes met hers, you can tell she’s frustrated just by the mere sight of you.

You cleared your throat, trying to rid the awkward intermission from the air.

“It was nice of her to thank me in person. She’s a good kid.”

Kyuna’s arms remained crossed, her gaze distant, occupied with other things

“Mhm. I’m surprised you had time to see her, after all, you’re always busy with the Olo’eyktan or..or those Sully boys.”

Lo’ak and Neteyam were both men but whatever.

She clicks her tongue, raking your figure up and down.

You forced a laugh.

“Well, I am living with them after all.”

“And sleeping with them.”

You snap your head up. The comment a little too dour to be a meaningless joke.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh! Y/n, I’m sorry.”

She suddenly gasps, her hand flying to cover her mouth that hangs wide open like an animal expecting food.

“I would never mean it like that, I just meant that ever since the clan decided to come up here to the mountains, everybody’s tents became a little…disorganized. Right? You’re sleeping in a hammock with Lo’ak? So I’ve heard.”

You don’t know where the fuck she would even ‘hear’ that from.

You straightened, your patience running thin and your tolerance for jealousy incredibly low.

“It’s two separate hammocks woven together. We’re not sleeping ontop of one another.”

You elaborated, chuckling to yourself.

“Can you even imagine sleeping so close to one of them? Well, I’m sure some would want to imagine it.”

Your tone carried a clear enmity.

Her cheeks flushed, her tail swishing fervently behind her.

Shes nervous now. What happened to all of that confidence?

“Well, I hope I don’t strike you as someone who’s desperate.”

“Oh no, of course not. That’s what makes people so good at it.”

You smiled, locking your fingers together behind your back.

She’s stunned for a moment. Stilling as her imperceptible brain struggles to process everything that’s been said.

“Well, I must be going. I have to meet with the Olo’eyktan. But I wish you a good night, Kyuna.”

She snaps out of her daze.

“H-huh? Oh. Oh yes, good night, Y/n.”

She stares at you. A mix of awe and envy compete for sovereignty.

☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊ ⋆⁺ ‏𖦹  ₊⋆⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ 

“What are we doing here?”

You and Jake had flown into the night, and landed on one of the mountain tops, the flat rock making space for you both as he sat across from you.

“Have a seat, Y/n.”

You didn’t know why he had brought you there. And you were feeling anxious for n some unknown reason. When you left, Jake insisted you leave your bow and other weapons at home. He promised that you didn’t need them. But how could he know that? How can he possibly understand the stability you felt when those objects were near?

Death, chaos, war, grief, it didn’t wait for anyone. Ever.

“Am I in trouble?”

You asked, nervously shifting on your feet. The rest of the world seemed to drift farther and farther away.

“Y/n.”

“Because If I did something wrong, I can fix it. I promise.”

“Y/n.”

“Jake this is killing me just tell me why-“

“Y/n.”

You felt his large palms cup your biceps, holding you still.

“…yes?”

“Take a deep breath.”

He said softly.

You looked at him puzzled before inhaling in, holding it for a good 3 seconds then exhaling out.

“Attagirl. Are we calm now?”

You nodded, finally sitting across from him, crossing your legs.

He smiled at you, clearly proud of himself.

“Y/n, welcome to your very first therapy session.”

You begged the finest pardon?

You froze. 

Did you hear him right?

Therapy. The word sounded familiar. Then you remember that day he told you about it when you both went hunting.

Should you laugh? Be pissed? Both?

“What the hell are you talking about. Jake?”

He shrugged.

“Well, I’m no professional-“

“Clearly.”

“But I’d figured this would help with…”

He considers his next words, opting for gesturing to your entire self with his hands, 

“Jake, I love you. I really do. You’ve done so much for me over the years. But I’m about 2 minutes away from rocking your shit.”

Not paying any mind to the threat. Jake waves his arms, ridding your frustration from the air.

“You know what, let’s start over. And please. Just give this a chance, yeah?”

“Fine.”

Jake leaned back, locking his fingers together and resting them on his stomach.

“Usually this kind of thing starts with a simple introduction.

Hi, my name is Jake. And I will be your therapist this evening.”

“Jake you know my name.”

He nods.

“Maybe I know your name yes, but I’m here to know your soul and what energy you put out into the universe.”

“Are you stroking out? What the fuck are you talking about.”

He groans.

“Come on kid, bare with me.”

You sigh defeatedly.

“Okay. Okay. Hi. My name is y/n. And I’m an adrenaline addict. Better?”

“…well, we had to start somewhere.”

☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊ ⋆⁺𖦹₊⋆⁺☀︎₊

Authors note:

Stay hating Kyuna. Ik your itching like a bitch without your eczema cream 💕🫶🏽

lol anyways, I hope you guys Enjoyed this chapter. It’s very rushed but I had so much writing sully family fluff. And starting next chapter, we’ll get into Neteyam starting his training with Y/n. And you best believe there is some tension 😌 also you’re gonna have mini therapy sessions with Jake from now on. Remember when they discussed that in chapter 3?? lol.

But I wanted to share a little life update with you guys. I hope you don’t mind. For those of you who don't know, I’m in a relationship. And yes, sme of you probably know him as the guy who was the victim of my cgi faces avatar experiment 🤭

GUYS YOUR GIRL GOT A PROMISE RING 🥳🥳

Now, I don't want anyone thinking I'm bragging or ‘rubbing it in others' faces)’…you guys are the first people I've told. I'm still in shock about it. The point of telling you guys this is that love is beautiful, and I don't think my writing can even begin to express the full extent of that. And one of the many things I love is writing for you guys. I know you guys have never met me and probably never will, and I'm just some person tapping away about blue aliens and posting my silly little rants from time to time, but please know that I appreciate all of you. Every single one of you who read, support, comment, like, repost, my anons, my followers, the friends I've made here, I hope I make you guys as happy as you all have made me. I can’t wait to share my fics and creations with all of you. One of the reasons I love writing for ‘y/n’ and reader inserts is because as someone who has read y/Insert fics, I know how special they can make us feel. So long rant short, I hope I make you guys feel like sexy, gorgeous, devastatingly beautiful, badass bitches yall are ☾⁺☀︎₊𖦹✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⁺☀︎₊ ⁺☀︎₊☾⁺☀︎₊ ⋆⁺𖦹₊⋆⁺☀︎₊

Taglist 🪐🌑🪻

@fluorynn (my guest of honor 👑)

@mntx666

@isnt-itstrange @thebestrouge

@bay7let

@fairuzwhat

@jackiehollanderr

@6423btw

@satesatesate2009

@OstargirlO

@heavenlysstuff

@dayyzlol

@iheartamajiki

@fluorynn

@bakugouswaif

@eljaynosine-triphosphate

@mojo-jojo-1

@strongheartneteyam

@hungrynessforfics

[basilpaste]

Stress Relief

(This fic talks a lot about death and panic attacks! Stay safe!)

this takes place directly after On Command! Read that first for context.)

You feel Loop's eyes on you the moment you're back. Burning into you like sunlight caught in a magnifying glass.

Your heart stutters in your chest as you struggle to catch your breath. That's a downside to doing things like this, then! Just because you loop doesn't mean your brain gets the memo. You force yourself to your feet, hand on your chest as you breathe deeply. You're okay! It's better than dying. Better than having to run for a tear and the sleepless dreams they bring.

Okay. Okay! You can learn to recover faster if you do it more! If you do it more! Who knows if you'll need to! But it's nice to have the option.

You still feel kind of shaken, but you'll put on a brave face. The worst of it is over.

You go through the motions, following the pattern as always. You think maybe Sif realizes something is wrong! But if they do they don't tell you. A part of you wonders if they think you'll tell them yourself. Would you have? Before this started?

… You don't think you want to answer that.

By the time you make it back to the favor tree, you're feeling a lot better! It helps that you're trained to stay calm under stress, but you also had plenty of time to cool down! So you're okay. And if you're not now, you will be! You'll be alright.

You shuffle over to your usual place on the roots and offer Loop a wave, "Hi, Elle!"

They. Don't say anything. They just look at you. None of the usual preamble. Loop just looks at you, eyes clouded over with more emotion than you've ever seen in them. They grip their arm so tight that you can see it leaving indents in their skin.

"Um." You look away from them.

"Fighter." They say after a long time. "You looped back."

"I… did, yes."

"Without a tear."

You suddenly envy Sif's ability to hide his face under a hat and cloak. You feel almost painfully exposed like this, with Loop's eyes boring into you. Their gaze stings.

"Without a tear." You agree finally.

And then they look mad. They look genuinely, aggressively, mad at you.

"What in the name of the stars do you think you're doing?!" They shout, jabbing a finger towards you accusatorially.

Despite yourself, you jerk back.

Wasn't it obvious? You kinda thought it was obvious! This was… a good thing! A way to loop without having to find tears or die!

"I figured… that if I can loop based on my emotions, it's for a reason, right?" You stare at the ground between the two of you, "If I can do that, it means I can use it!"

"So— so what, then! What! You. What did you even do, Fighter?!" They sputter.

You dig your nails into your palms, "… I mean. You saw, didn't you?"

"I saw! Oh, yes, I did see!" They shoot you a glare, "I don't understand, though! So! Walk me through it, Fighter! What. Did. You. Do?"

"It's emotions, right? Um. Not always. But… sometimes. If I feel bad enough or guilty enough. Like— like I can't go on."

They know this. They know this! You had an entire theory-crafting session where you learned this! There's something in the emotions, the feeling like things are over, that can make you loop!

They know this.

They haven't said anything.

"So I figured I could. Use that, maybe? If I felt, I dunno, hopeless enough. I thought I could make myself loop back." You shrug loosely, "… and I could."

"Why." Their voice shakes with it.

"It's better than dying!" You say quickly, "Better than dying! And it can be quicker than finding a tear. Less risk of worrying everyone!!"

"Why do you care? It's not like they'll remember! You'll just be looping back anyway!" Loop's voice travels up, becoming something high and sharp.

"It matters!" You counter.

"Does it?"

"It does!" You fold your arms over your chest, "It doesn't matter if they don't remember! Because I do! I don't want to see their horrified faces as I die or fling myself into a tear! Not ever again!"

You take a deep breath. You shouldn't shout.

"… Why do you care." You ask.

It's a terrible thing for you to ask. Cruel and mean and aggressive. You're mean, Isabeau. In this moment, you're mean.

"Hah!" They spit the laugh out like venom. "That's a funny question, Fighter. Because it has the same exact answer!! BECAUSE YOU WILL REMEMBER!!!"

They. Yelled at you.

Actually yelled at you, genuinely shouted. Have they ever done that before? They've raised their voice a few times, sure, but none of it was actually yelling. They look… scared.

"It's a better option." You tell them. You believe this. You have to.

"It's not!" They argue, "It really, really, isn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because — because I don't want you to!!" Loop shouts.

And then they still. They look away from you, trying to collect themself, "I mean. Because you shouldn't have to."

"I shouldn't have to do any of this." You say quietly, "It's a bad situation, right? And I shouldn't have to do this at all. But I'm here, and I can't get out if I don't try, Elle. And that means doing new things."

"Fighter." Their voice wavers. "You… understand what this will do to you, right? If you do this to yourself? It's. Dragging yourself to your lowest just to loop, it can't possibly be good in the long run."

You do your best to smile, your teeth clack together harshly. "Well!! I'll just have to make sure I don't have to loop again, right?"

"No." They shake their head once, firm, "I need for you to tell me that you understand. Or else I will not let you do this."

"You're not really able to do much in the House." You say.

And it's mean. Of course it is. But you need to have this out! So none of your friends see you hurt! You don't want to force yourself to loop like that, but it's better.

Loop brings their hand up to their face, flashing the hand sign they taught you. Their eyes narrow on you, sharp and dangerous. Like a dagger.

[I will yell in your mind until you're too distracted to continue. I will not let you do this unless you tell me that you understand.]

You're not stupid. Not like everyone assumes you are. Of course you understand. But it doesn't matter if you feel bad! As long as you protect your friends, as long as you keep your family safe! If you ruin your own mind trying to save them from this, that's okay! And if it's not it will be!

You'll make it okay!!!

"So?" Loop asks, aloud this time.

They couldn't stop you, you don't think.

And isn't it kinda nice? To feel all those things instead of choking them down? To just freehand something instead of following all the steps? If you never feel any emotion other than good ones it's bad! Like — what was that comparison you all made — eating your favorite food all the time!

Feeling bad can. Be good. This is easier than dying.

"I understand." You say eventually, "I know what might happen to me. But. I'm going to keep it in my back pocket. Just in case."

Elle looks impossibly sad. "Sunlight…"

You don't think either of you want to continue this conversation.

"..." They breathe out, putting on a smile, "What can I do for you on this wonderful new loop?"

[marlynnofmany]

The Ability to Smell Beauty

“Do you smell that?” Paint asked, flicking her tongue out to taste the air, just like the orange-scaled lizard she resembled. “That is LOVELY. Where is it?”

I looked around the forest-lined landing pad. All sorts of plants that I’d never seen before waved on the breeze: tree-things shaped like willows that someone had coated in enough hairspray to make them stand on end, bush-things with leaves that snapped at flies, moss and mushrooms and lumps that could have been frogs or seedpods, or maybe oddly-shaped rocks.

“I have no idea,” I told Paint honestly.

“Help me find it,” she said, striding away from the ship with her shoulder bag held tight and determination on her scaly face.

I glanced back at the captain and several others, who were passing time with an alien card game. The person who was supposed to have delivered our next shipment was late. Nothing else to do but hang around and try not to be bored.

“We’re going to look around a little,” I called, walking after Paint. “We won’t go far.”

Captain Sunlight nodded, her own scaly yellow face focused on the cards. “Scream if you need anything.” Then she triumphantly played a card that made Mur flail his tentacles in aggravation.

I said that I would, and followed my shorter crewmate as she waded into the undergrowth with her tongue flicking madly.

“So what exact smell are we looking for?” I asked, wondering if that was the right word. “Smelling for?”

“It’s kind of sharp, but in a good way,” Paint told me distractedly. “Sharp like a good kitchen knife, like string music, like a poignant memory.”

“Right,” I said, taking an experimental sniff. Everything smelled like alien plants, and not like violins or whatever. “Hm.”

“I think it’s this way. Low to the ground.” Paint scrambled under bushes, getting her bag caught on one of the flytrap mouths.

“Do you want me to carry that?” I asked.

“Yes please.” She held it up, still under the bush. Flytraps slapped at both of us, but weren’t strong enough to do any damage, even to my soft human skin. Paint probably didn’t even notice through her scales.

I shouldered the bag that held Paint’s sketchbook or novel or entertainment screen; whatever she’d brought out for waiting in the sun. I’d been about to go back in for something similar when she’d hared off on this quest.

“Over here!” Paint said, sounding more sure. She rustled out the other side of the bush and made delighted noises. When I made my way around the shrubbery, I found her at the base of a large boulder, gathering walnut-looking things into a greedy pile.

“Is that it?” I asked.

“Yes! Smell one!” Paint thrust one toward me.

I took it and sniffed. Not bad. Kind of like cloves, that sort of spicy sharpness that just felt festive. “Huh. Pretty good.”

“Isn’t it amazing?” Paint asked, holding up a double handful and taking an open-mouthed whiff. “Gimme the bag back; I’m taking these with me.”

“Are you sure they’re safe?” I asked as I handed it over. “Do you know what kind of plant they are?”

“Yeah, it’s that one from the store on the beach back home,” Paint said, shoveling eagerly. “The good one I could never find again. I forget the name. Sunlight will know.”

“All right,” I agreed. They really didn’t smell that special to me. It would be interesting to see if Captain Sunlight also treated the things like lizard-alien catnip, or if this was just something that Paint liked. A lot.

When she’d gathered everything on the ground — a few good handfuls — she looked around for more. I spotted one growing from the spindly sapling that poked out of a crack in the boulder, and Paint happily added it to the rest.

“I wonder if there are any other bushes like that,” she said, standing with the bag and studying the trees.

“We shouldn’t go far,” I reminded her. “Gotta stay in screaming range.”

“Sure, sure,” Paint said. “Just a quick look over this way. I think those plants grow near the beach, and I hear waves.”

Remembering Kavlae’s description of the landing pad as being “within dancing distance of the sea,” I put more attention toward the ambient sounds. That wasn’t all windblown foliage after all.

Paint was already disappearing into more bushes, so I hurried after, not wanting to lose track of her. “Slow down! I’m sure they’re not going anywhere.”

“Yes, but they’re so beautiful!” she said from somewhere ahead. “There are whole worlds in that smell. Don’t you think so?”

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“Okay?? It’s gorgeous! I want to decorate my room with them, and smell these every day! You really don’t think it’s that big a deal?” Paint sounded insulted.

“I think my nose just works a little differently from yours,” I said gently. “I’m sure they’re very nice.”

Paint huffed, pushing through the leaves harder and muttering something uncomplimentary about a nose that couldn’t smell beauty.

I had to laugh. “There are plenty of good smells out there,” I said. “And I don’t need my nose for beauty; I have my eyes for that.”

“Really,” Paint grumbled. “If you can’t appreciate this, then forgive my doubts.” She was still grumping about loveliness and the ability to sense it when she shoved through the last of the bushes. “Well, there’s the beach,” she said. “No trees, crackle it. Let’s go back.”

I ducked under a leafy branch to join her just as she turned to go. The view stopped me in my tracks.

Blue waves crashed against a beach made of glittering gemstones, sprawling as far as the eye could see in either direction. Every color under the sun, fist-sized and head-sized and a fine shimmering sand, washed bright by the waves. I could swear that native birds somewhere were singing a dramatic crescendo of a symphony, though maybe that was just in my head.

“Paint,” I said, not moving. “Can I borrow your bag? I’ll carry it back for you.”

~~~

Further adventures in backstory for this book. More to come!

[mattsturnsslut]

The Perfect Pumpkin

The air is crisp as you and Matt pull into the pumpkin patch’s gravel parking lot, the scent of autumn wafting through the open windows. Sunlight dances through the trees, casting playful shadows on the ground. You glance over at Matt, his smile contagious, and you can’t help but grin back.

“Ready to pick the perfect pumpkin?” he asks, his eyes sparkling with mischief. You nod, excitement bubbling inside you. This is exactly the kind of cozy, fall day you’ve been dreaming of.

You hop out of the car, and a light breeze tugs at your scarf, making you pull it tighter around your neck. Matt laces his fingers through yours as you walk toward the entrance, the sound of laughter and chatter filling the air. The patch is alive with families and couples, all searching for their ideal gourds.

“Let’s head over to the field,” he suggests, leading the way. You follow, your heart warming as you watch him weave through the rows of pumpkins, each step filled with childlike enthusiasm.

As you reach the first row, you stop to examine a particularly large pumpkin, its rich orange hue glowing in the sunlight. “What do you think? Is this one the winner?” you ask, glancing at Matt.

He crouches down next to it, inspecting it with exaggerated seriousness. “Hmm, it’s got potential,” he declares, “but it lacks… character.” He gestures dramatically, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Character, huh? What does that even mean?” you tease.

“Let’s find one that speaks to us,” he replies, standing up and pulling you along to the next row. Each pumpkin seems to have its own personality, and together, you debate the merits of every one you pass—bumpy, smooth, tall, short.

Finally, you spot it: a plump pumpkin, slightly lopsided but vibrant and full of charm. “What about this one?” you ask, excitedly pointing it out.

Matt leans in closer, examining it with a mock-serious expression. “This one has stories to tell,” he says, nodding sagely. “It’s definitely a contender.”

You share a smile, and without thinking, you lean in and press a quick kiss to his cheek. His surprise is fleeting, and soon he’s grinning down at you, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Alright, let’s take this beauty home,” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you both head to the check-out area.

With the pumpkin paid for, you decide to explore the other attractions. The scent of cinnamon and caramel fills the air as you wander toward the snack stand. “How about some hot cider?” Matt suggests, his eyes bright with excitement.

“Yes, please!” you reply, imagining the warmth spreading through you.

After grabbing your drinks, you find a quiet spot near a hay bale, sipping your cider while watching the golden leaves flutter down from the trees. Matt leans back, resting his arm on the bale behind you, and you feel a sense of peace wash over you.

“This is perfect,” he says, glancing at you. “Just you, me, and a pumpkin.”

You laugh, feeling the joy of the moment. “And hot cider, don’t forget that!”

“Right, right!” he laughs, taking a sip of his drink. “But seriously, I love days like this. Just being with you.”

You look at him, the warmth in his gaze making your heart swell. “Me too,” you say softly. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

After a while, you stand up and playfully challenge him to a race through the corn maze nearby. He raises an eyebrow, a playful grin spreading across his face. “You’re on!”

With that, you take off, laughter echoing in the crisp air as you weave through the tall stalks, the world around you fading away. The chase is filled with shouts and giggles, and as you finally stumble out the other side, breathless and exhilarated, Matt catches up to you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

“That was awesome!” he says, still holding you close. You feel safe and warm in his arms, the cool autumn air forgotten for a moment.

As the sun begins to dip lower in the sky, casting a golden glow across the patch, you realize this day has been more than just a pumpkin date; it’s a memory you’ll treasure forever. You smile up at Matt, and he leans down, brushing his lips against yours in a sweet, lingering kiss.

“Let’s do this again next year,” he murmurs against your lips.

“Definitely,” you reply, already looking forward to more adventures together. For now, though, it’s just you, Matt, and the perfect pumpkin—each moment steeped in the warmth of love and the magic of fall.

[cheynovak]

Healing Waters - pt 2

Characters: Azriel x F/Reader Y/N     

Summary:  Azriel is sent by Rhysand to the Spring Court to investigate Tamlin's erratic behavior. While spying in the woods, he comes across Y/N, an Illyrian female bathing under a waterfall. Intrigued by her beauty and shocked to see the scars where her wings should have been, he is immediately captivated.

Warnings: Hurt, pain, anger, nudity, spying, aggression, ... (18+ later parts)

English is not my first language 

*This story is my own fanfiction, please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated* 

Part 2/?

* Published September 5th 2024 *

--

**Azriel's POV**

A week had passed, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. The forest of the Spring Court, usually a place of routine surveillance, now held an entirely different purpose. I was looking for her—the fierce, enigmatic Illyrian female who had managed to surprise me, something no one had done in centuries.

I haven't told anyone I met her, well, no one knew unless Rhys had decided to read my mind, but I trusted him not to unless he asked permission.

I moved through the trees silently, my senses tuned to the surroundings, but I barely needed them. She was there, just ahead, her dark hair shining in the sunlight as she walked among the wildflowers, the brightness of the day making the deep red tones in her hair stand out even more vividly.

She wore a simple dress, old and rough, the kind that spoke of practicality rather than luxury. It was likely the only piece of clothing she had, a stark contrast to the opulence of the Spring Court. Yet, she wore it with a dignity that made it seem like a queen's gown.

I stepped closer, trying to keep my approach as unobtrusive as possible, but before I could speak, she did. Her voice was even more beautiful than I remembered—soft yet firm, carrying the weight of someone who had long since learned to stand on her own.

“I thought me running away was a clear sign I didn’t want to get to know you,” she said without turning around.

Her words hit harder than I expected, but before I could think of a response, she looked up, meeting my eyes. And once again, I froze.

There was something about her gaze, something that pulled me in, made me forget everything else. We stared at each other, the world around us fading into nothingness for just a moment, as if the forest itself had gone silent to give us this space, this time.

But then her gaze shifted, flicking past me, and her expression changed—concern, no, fear crossing her features. “You shouldn’t be here.”

I turned instinctively, but it was too late. Tamlin’s roar shattered the fragile peace of the moment, a sound filled with hate and anger. He moved with the speed and fury of a beast, and before I could react, he was there, towering over us.

His golden eyes blazed with fury, not just at me for my presence but at her—her. As if it was her fault I was there, as if she had somehow brought me into his territory.

“You brought him here, you broke the deal... get off my lands!” he bellowed at her, his voice a mix of rage and betrayal. "I didn't..." she protested but he roared again. “Get off !”

She flinched, just slightly, but it was enough to send a ripple of anger through me. His words, his blame—it was unjust, cruel. But before I could intervene, she dropped her gaze, bowed to this piece of shit and took a step back. "Yes, my lord."

The vulnerability I had seen, made it clear that his words hurt her, far more than she would ever let on.

And I stood there, useless, too stunned by the entire situation, too captivated by her to even draw my blade or defend myself. She didn’t look at me again, didn’t speak, just turned and walked away, disappearing into the forest as quickly as she had come.

As Tamlin’s rage-filled eyes bore into me, I realized two things: I had failed in my mission, and I had been caught in something far more complicated and dangerous than I had anticipated.

But even as I prepared myself for whatever would come next, my thoughts remained with her—wondering where she had gone, and what price she would pay for my presence.

** Y/N's POV **

The young Illyrian wouldn’t leave me alone. I could feel him trailing me through the woods, his presence persistent and unyielding. His words, low and calm, followed me like a shadow. He kept urging me to come with him, to leave this place and go with him to the Night Court.

But I was beyond furious.

For 300 years, I had lived here in peace. I had carved out a life, isolated and free from the madness of war, of court politics, of the nightmares that haunted me. And now, within days of meeting another Illyrian, everything had been ripped away from me.

Banned. Expelled from the only sanctuary I had ever known. All because of him.

The anger boiled over, consuming every rational thought. I whirled around, my hand flying to strike him across the cheek. But before I could make contact, his reflexes kicked in, his hand snapping out to catch my wrist. His grip was firm, not painful, but it made my blood simmer with rage.

“Let go of me!” I hissed, my voice shaking with fury. But he didn’t. He just looked at me, his expression unreadable, as if he was trying to decide what to do next.

And then, without warning, the world around me shifted. The trees, the sunlight, the familiar scents of the Spring Court—all of it vanished in an instant. The next thing I knew, I was standing in a place I never wanted to see again.

The skies above were dark, a perpetual twilight casting everything in shades of deep blue and purple.

The Night Court.

My fury exploded like a storm unleashed. I tore myself from his grasp and swung my fists at him, again and again, each hit fueled by the burning anger inside me. He didn’t fight back. He didn’t even raise a hand to defend himself. He just stood there, taking each blow, his eyes steady on mine.

“Prick! Illyrian scum! Bastard!” I spat the words at him, each one more venomous than the last. I cursed him with every foul name I could think of, my voice echoing in the cold air as my fists pounded against his chest.

But he remained silent, unmoving, letting me release all the rage, all the pain I had kept buried for so long. It only made me angrier, the way he just stood there, as if my fury was nothing more than a passing wind.

Finally, exhausted and shaking, I stopped, my breath ragged, my hands aching. I stared up at him, my vision blurred with a mixture of tears and anger. He was still watching me, his expression softening just slightly, enough to show something I hadn’t expected—understanding. Maybe even regret.

But I didn’t care. I didn’t want his understanding, his pity, or whatever the hell he thought he was doing. I wanted my life back, the life I had fought so hard to build.

“Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?” My voice breaking as I finally let the tears fall. “Why did you have to ruin the one good thing I had?”

I hated the vulnerability in my voice, the way it cracked under the weight of everything I had lost. But in that moment, I was too broken, too defeated to care.

And he—he just kept looking at me, the silence between us stretching on, filled with all the things neither of us knew how to say.

** Azriel's POV **

Why did you have to ruin the one good thing I had?

The moment was raw, charged with an emotion I hadn't expected, and I barely registered the sound of footsteps approaching until Rhysand appeared beside us.

His violet eyes swept over the scene—me standing silent, her trembling with anger and exhaustion—and he raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his expression.

“What’s all this noise about?” Rhysand asked, his voice light, but I could hear the underlying concern. She turned to him sharply, eyes flashing as she spat, “Who the hell are you?”

I was shocked, both by her venom and by the fact that she didn’t recognize him. “How long have you been in the Spring Court?” I blurted out, unable to keep the question from tumbling out.

She frowned, her gaze shifting between us as if we were speaking in a language she barely understood. “Three hundred, maybe four hundred years,” she finally said, as if the number meant nothing to her.

Rhysand’s expression softened, a flicker of understanding passing over his features. He stepped closer, offering her his hand. “I’m Rhysand, the High Lord of the Night Court. And you are?”

She eyed his hand with suspicion, before recoiling slightly. “Take me back,” she demanded, her voice cold, unwavering. “Take me back to the Spring Court.”

Rhysand didn’t drop his hand, keeping it extended, but his tone became more gentle, more coaxing. “I will,” he promised. “But perhaps after a cup of tea and a talk?”

She looked at him as if he had just asked her to walk into a den of vipers. I could see the battle raging in her eyes—the urge to flee, to fight, to do anything but trust. But Rhysand was nothing if not persuasive. He knew how to draw people in, how to make them feel safe even when they were anything but.

But not her. She wasn’t swayed by his charm, by the soft promises in his voice. All she gave was her name, clipped and devoid of the warmth I knew she had buried deep within her. It was as if that single word, her name, was all she could afford to give us.

Rhysand, ever patient, simply nodded. “Thank you for that. Now, as I said, let’s have a talk. Tamlin is in no state to see anyone right now. It might be best if you stayed here for a while, let him cool off.”

Her reaction was immediate, a step back as if Rhysand’s words were physically pushing her away. “I don’t want to stay here,” she bit out, her voice trembling with the effort to hold back her frustration. “I just want to go back, home.”

I felt a pang of something—something tangled and complicated when she said home. She was out of her depth here, surrounded by people she didn’t trust, in a place she clearly didn’t want to be. But why?

But Rhysand remained calm, giving her space while still holding her gaze. “I understand,” he said quietly. “But I think it would be wise to give it a little time. Let things settle down. Tamlin’s temper can be… dangerous, especially when he feels cornered.”

She didn’t answer, just stared at him with that same defiant fire in her eyes. She didn't have to say a word I knew she thought it was our fault, and in a way it was. I knew Rhysand was trying to help, trying to give her options she hadn’t had in centuries. But she wasn’t ready to hear it, not yet.

As much as I wanted to protect her, to shield her from the pain she had experienced, I knew that she wouldn’t accept it. She would fight us every step of the way, just as she had fought to survive all those years.

Rhysand sighed, lowering his hand but not his offer. “The choice is yours. Stay, let Tamlin cool off, and we can talk. Or, if you truly wish to leave, we won’t stop you. But know that whatever you choose, you’ll have a place here, should you need it.”

She said nothing, her silence speaking louder than any words could. And as we stood there, the three of us caught in a tense, fragile moment, I couldn’t help but wonder what she would choose—and what it would mean... for us.

--

Please like, share or comment when you liked the story. If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

Taglist: @lilah-asteria @sidthedollface2

[gingiesworld]

The Woods (1/?)

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Fic Warnings : Angst. Violence. Death. Horror. Reader has a penis

Present

Wanda was sat with her arms wrapped around her in the cold room, chairs positioned into a circle, other patients had filled them. Some of them she had become acquainted with. Listening to their stories, trying her hardest to not tell her own story. The story that changed her life. Not for the better.

"Wanda, you have been coming here now for a few months and you have yet to tell your story." The counsellor told her.

"I just don't feel comfortable." She told them as they shook their head with a smile.

"Everyone needs to tell their story Wanda." They told her sternly. "So please, do share."

"Well, before I was here, over a year ago." Wanda fiddled with her sleeves. "I was happy. I had my friends, I know that my being here has kind of put up some barriers in my relationships but I uh, they thought I needed the help." She looked down at the ground. "Especially after Y/N. I lost my Y/N."

A little over a year ago

Wanda was excited when she approached the car with her bag, handing it over to Y/N who put the bag in the trunk before she got in the passenger seat. They had decided that the group of friends would have a weekend away at a cabin that Tony had booked.

Wanda got in the passenger seat beside Y/N, who was driving. Natasha and Maria in the back seat. Tony, Pepper, Clint and Laura in the car behind. It was going to be the four couples, having a couples weekend.

"I'm so excited for this." Maria said as she rested her head on Nat's shoulder.

"Me too." Nat agreed.

"We have needed this break." Maria said before Nat pecked her lips. Y/N took Wanda's hand in theirs, pressing a kiss to their lips.

"We most definitely do need this before the baby comes." Y/N smirked as they looked at Nat's and Maria's reactions through the mirror.

"Wait?" Nat yelled as Maria looked at a smiling Wanda. "You're pregnant!"

"Again!" Maria yelled as Wanda nodded.

"Do the twins know?" Nat asked her as Wanda shook her head no.

"We're going to tell them after the 20 week scan when we know what we're having." Wanda told them. "So this weekend they get to have a fun weekend with their Uncle Pietro."

"So, we are to expect a lot of noise from the two of you then?" Maria questioned with a smirk.

"Maybe." Wanda blushed as Y/N and Nat chuckled. "It's our first weekend away without the twins. We deserve it." Wanda told them as Y/N gave Wanda's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yes we do." Y/N agreed as they started to drive. The drive lasted a few hours, consisting of Nat and Maria singing as Wanda watched the scenery change from the buildings of New York to the country side. Barely any life in sight except for those travelling through.

Y/N's phone rang as they drove, Wanda reached into their pocket and answered it.

"There should be a turn off on the left." Tony said as Y/N kept looking through the trees. "And just follow the road."

"Thanks Tony." Y/N spoke as Wanda hung up, Y/N followed his directions and got on the road in question. It started to be covered by trees as it went further into the woods.

"This is kind of creepy." Wanda noted as the woods got thicker and thicker, the sunlight barely shone through the leaves.

"I think it will be fun." Nat said with a smile as Maria just shook her head with a smirk.

"You would think it will be fun if you spent the weekend with Hannibal." Maria stated as Y/N looked in the mirror at Maria.

"That would be fun." Y/N stated as Wanda shook her with a smirk at the two best friends.

"You two are despicable." Maria stated.

"Hey, you can't tell me you wouldn't want to know what made him choose to eat people meat." Y/N told her.

"Exactly, I would at least have a replacement if ever I lost Y/N." Nat told them.

"Hey." Y/N yelled. "I am irreplaceable and you know it."

"Ok Beyoncè." Nat teased them as they all erupted in laughter. Soon quieting down when they noticed the cabin. It was dark and silent, barely the sound of the birds above could be heard.

"How did Tony hear about this place again?" Wanda questioned wearily as they all slowly took off their seatbelts. Tony, Pepper, Clint and Laura all wore the same expressions.

"I think he mentioned a friend of a friend." Nat informed them. "But I wouldn't quote me on it."

"It will be fun." Y/N told them. "Besides, Pietro and Steve have our location if anything happens." Y/N reassured Wanda as they kissed her cheek. "Let's just enjoy a twin free weekend. I wanna say just the two of us but there is eight of us."

"Let's go." Wanda nodded as they all got out of the car. Y/N and Maria grabbed the bags as Wanda and Nat waited by the car. Wanda was extremely weary about the cabin. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something just seemed off.

Present

"So that was the start of the weekend." Wanda said as she shrugged, wiping a tear that threatened to fall. "I just never realised that it would be the worst weekend of my life."

"Thank you for sharing Wanda." The counsellor smiled softly at her before moving on to the next person. She knows she has therapy as well as these counselling sessions, she just wants to get better for the twins sake.

----------------------------------------------------

Billy and Tommy weren't in the best of places, considering they had lost one parent and an unborn sibling, but their mom was in a mental hospital after her parents had her committed. They didn't believe the stories she told them about thr deaths, nor did they believe Nat either. The only two survivors as Y/N made her promise to get Wanda safe.

Although Nat was in a completely different place to Wanda. Since there was no real evidence and Wanda became dilarious after the loss of Y/N and the miscarriage.

"You still think I did it?" Nat questioned Jennifer Walters, her friend and attorney.

"I don't know what to think Nat." Jennifer said as she rubbed her brow. "You and Wanda were the only ones whp survived. The others died. Brutally I might add."

"I know that! I was there!" Nat yelled at her before Jennifer raised her hand to stop one of the guards from restraining her. "I just. No one believes me or Wanda. She is in an asylum. She is missing out on raising her kids because of this!"

"I know." Jennifer spoke softly. "But with no evidence, we only had the bodies to go off and no weapon."

"I wouldn't kill my wife or my friends. My best friend." Nat whispered in defeat. "I don't know how many times I can say it until you believe me."

"I am trying everything I can Nat. Even Lena and Alexei are looking into the cabin. You just need to be patient. Please" Jennifer pleaded with her.

A little over a year ago

Everyone walked the steps with caution, the cabin was in complete darkness until Tony opened the door and flicked the switch on the wall. Looking around at the furniture, it was like a standard hunting cabin, not really for the feint of heart.

"See, it's not too bad." Tony smirked as Pepper glared.

"Seriously Tony, you're a Billionaire." She scolded him. "You could have paid for us all to go to the Bahamas or something."

"Now that is a vacation I can get on board with." Clint smirked as the others agreed with him.

"Hey, it's just one weekend right, we have some food and good company. It will be just like high school." Y/N reasoned as the others sighed.

"Yeah." Wanda agreed with them. "Let's give it a chance."

"I'd rather wait until I see the bedrooms." Maria mumbled as they all headed up the stairs towards the rooms. All of them choosing their own, of course Tony had called dibs on the master since he had paid for the cabin.

"I don't feel right here Y/N." Wanda mumbled as she stood in the doorway of their room. Looking around at the stained walls, some were covered with pictures of the area or animals.

"It's just one weekend Wanda." They told her as they wrapped their arms around her waist. "When we get home, we can look at booking our own little getaway, anywhere you want to go. Just the two of us." They told her with a smile as she nodded.

"That sounds perfect." With that kiss, it eased her worries for the time being. Not knowing what hid away in the darkness, in the confines of the cabin. They weren't alone, and they were going to find out.

[hyuckwrlds]

>> time stops

wc: 670 first love

“i have a question.”

jaemin hums. lolling his head to the side, he looks to where you lay on the left side of his chest, just a few centimeters away from his heart. “shoot.”

“okay,” you begin. in a sudden burst of energy you flip yourself over to press your chin against his torso, eyes wide and gleaming with excitement. “let’s say, hypothetically, you’re hiking in the woods and come across a bear—”

“what kind of bear?” he says, cutting you off prematurely. “like an actual bear or a haechan?”

you raise a brow but answer him nonetheless. “i dunno, a polar bear.”

“there’s no polar bears in the woods,” he remarks.

your face immediately falls, frowning up at him. in retaliation, you pinch his side and he lets out a yelp, reaching down to pry your hand away from his skin.

“okay, okay, sorry,” he snickers. “i just wanted to get all the details down first. continue with your story.”

“fine, you come across a black bear then,” you huff, shifting in bed. “anyway. you’re in the woods with this bear but there’s a hunter hiding in the trees who’s also trying to kill the bear. they go to shoot the bear with a bow and arrow but end up shooting you instead.”

his brows raise. “oh shit—”

“so you get rushed to the hospital but the doctors tell you that things don’t look too good for you. who’s the one person you’d want to see the most before you die?”

“i—” jaemin exhales a long breath to think. “i feel like this is a very loaded question to be asking at 10 in the morning.”

“who is it?”

he places a hand on top of your head, humming to himself as he smooths down the strands that had gone awry after the night’s sleep. unknowingly, you lean into his touch and the corners of his lips twitch upward.

he muses. “can it be anyone?”

“yeah,” you shrug, tilting to fully rest the side of your head on him now. “whoever comes to mind.”

he wraps a lock of your hair around his finger. for some reason his shampoo had always smelled better when you use it and he’s not quite sure how that works. after a moment he clears his throat, shifting to sit higher against the headboard of his bed.

“i feel like that story was a really roundabout way to ask a singular question.”

there’s a roll of your eyes. “what’s your answer?”

jaemin looks at you. his heart is racing impossibly in his chest and he starts to wonder if you could hear the quickening rhythm beneath you. surely the answer is obvious. 

“i dunno, maybe jeno,” he replies, teasing.

“jeno? really?”

“maybe,” he shrugs, pulling on that lazy grin of his. “would you be upset if it was?”

“maybe,” you mirror him. “but i wouldn’t be opposed to seeing him too.”

jaemin gives you a flick to the forehead. “hey.”

“i’m kidding.”

“who would you want to see?”

there’s a pause as your eyes fall somewhere off to the side. he watches the flutter of your eyelashes, the way the morning sunlight seems to catch onto them delicately.

“well…” you mumble, suddenly shy. “i’d want to see you.”

“really?”

“yes, idiot,” you huff, flipping back around to where he’s stuck staring at the crown of your head again. “of course it’d be you. and i can’t believe you said you’d want to see jeno.”

jaemin can’t fight the grin on his face as he laces his fingers with yours, pulling you closer to tuck your head beneath his chin. the weight of you on his shoulder brings him comfort, your warmth spreading through his skin and reminding him of what home feels like. gently, he presses a kiss to your temple, squeezing you tighter.

“you know i’m kidding,” he says. “i love you too, angel. obviously it’d be you.”

“i’d take on any amount of polar bears just to see you.”

[fieldofdaisiies]

Like Him?

ship: Eris x Reader type: angst warning(s): overall gloomy, talks about rejection, childhood trauma, abusive households word count: 2,5k words request: "I have a Eris request too. Sorry for my explanation, English isn't my first language. The reader is in a arrange marriage with Eris. And he strats to open himself telling something about his past and things like that"

-all rights reserved -

A gentle breeze caresses your skin as you step out of the Forest House and the earthy scent of fallen leaves and damp soil fills your nostrils. Your curl your arms around yourself, securing the cardigan as you step onto the pathway adorned with the beautiful colours of autumn. 

You never wanted to move here, never wanted to call this place your home, but your father and the former High Lord of this Court arranged a marriage for you, the daughter of an important lord of the Autumn Court. You had to wed his oldest son, Eris, only a few weeks after your first encounter. Soon Eris will rule over the court, you at his side, as he promised to make you High Lady of the Autumn Court, despite your reservations and nervousness. You still remember what he said to you when he put the ring on your finger, “You may didn’t choose me, you didn’t want this, you will probably never love me like a husband, and you were forced into this just like I was, so the least I can do for you is make you High Lady and make this whole situation a little less awful.” He leaned in back then, at your wedding, and kissed your cheek. Not your lips, not wanting to invade your personal space. 

Golden sunlight filters through the trees, casting a warm glow upon the in leaves covered ground as you enter the small forest, heading for the glade nearby. You know Eris will most likely be there, probably with his hounds, as this is the place he normally goes to when he wants to be alone. And you know, when he wants to be alone, you probably should leave him alone. But not today. Today it feels different. I feels like you should talk to him, like he needs someone. You feel it in your chest. There is something like a tug on your ribs that pulls you to him. It is odd and you can’t really describe the feeling so you just decide to follow it. His your husband after all and you get along, so you think it might be good to take another step forward. To actually talk about personal things and not only politic related ones. Leaves, in all colours of autumn - crimson, orange and yellow- cover the ground beneath your feet as you move and a soft rustling accompanies every step you take. You marvel at the beauty that surrounds you and once again remind yourself of how lucky you are that you were born in this court. Of course, Beron as a High Lord if awful, Cauldron forbid if he knew you said so, but the beauty of the court is not comparable to any other. And not all people are bad. The Lady of the Autumn Court is lovely and you like her a lot. And so is Eris. You do like your husband who is distant to you, yes, but never not kind or honest, or respectful. The air is filled with all sorts of lovely of scents—the earthy smell of damp soil and the scent of decaying leaves. Nostalgia fills your mind and brain when you remember playing outside with your family when you were a child. It is so long ago, the memories are no longer that clear, but still you will always remember and keep them in your heart. As you continue to walk, further into the forest, the breeze calms a little as the thick trees and branches don’t let so much of it through. The narrow path leads you deeper into the forest, and you feel a sense of serenity inside of you. You have always felt at ease in nature and nothing has changed that. The days after your marriage you have mostly spent outside, often with Eris’ dogs or with his mother walking around and talking a little. Eris, who will soon, take over as High Lord as Beron’s state gets worse and worse, is busy most of the time, always bent over his desk for hours and even into the night. At the forest house you have often felt quite trapped, like you are in a cage. This arranged marriage, despite Eris’ kindness and respect, has always felt like it as well. You did not choose it yourself and you are stuck, your choice was taken from you. But when you are outside, and the beauty of the Autumn Court envelops you, these thoughts vanish for a little while. Your heart fills with appreciation of these lovely moments outside and then freedom they provide you. You allow yourself to pause for a little and draw in a deep inhale, the fragrance of the damp, early afternoon air filling your nose. You exhale and lift your gaze, spotting the glade as well as the small wooden bench with the heir of the Autumn Court on it in the distance. Your heart makes a little skip when your eyes land on his tall figure, his broad shoulders and involuntarily the corners of your mouth twitch up a little. 

Your legs feel lighter and you walk faster, soon closing the distance between him and you. “Thought I would find you here.” You surround the bench on which jerks backwards a little, but smiles when he meets your gaze. “My wife,” he says in a calm voice, tinged with kindness. He reaches his broad hand forward for you to grab so he can guide you the last steps to the bench. You take it, and relish how warm his palm feels against yours. You sit down next to him, only a little distance between the two of you, and you look up at him. “Are you alright?” you ask with sympathy in your voice. He looks straightforward and then licks over his lips and turns to you. “Honest answer?” The High Lord of Autumn raises his brow a little bit and you bow your head, still smiling a little. “Always!” you say and add, “I am your wife. You can always be honest with me.”

Your husband releases a shuddering breath and wipes his hands down his thighs. “I am afraid that I will become like him. That one day I will treat my subjects just like my father does. That one day I don’t have any respect anymore, that I will become just as cruel as he is, that I will hurt people, that I will hurt you. That I will force myself upon you so you can give me heirs.” His expression is bitter and pained, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he blinks his eyes rapidly. Almost as quickly as he rattled through his words. You can only reach over and take one of his hand into both of yours. “Don’t ever say something like that again. You are nothing like your father and will never be.” You squeeze his hand, staring at him until he finally lifts his gaze to yours. They are nothing but swirling pits of agony, pain and hate. “You don’t know that.” He shakes his head vehemently, his teeth clenched. And so you remove one hand from his, and bring it up to his face. You brush your thumb over his cheek, feeling the soft skin and the light stubble against your skin. “I do know it. I know you are nothing like him. You are kind, and honest. You respect me and I know you would never hurt me. You have never hurt me, and I am sure that you will never do so.” He leans into your touch, reveling in the feel of a person touching him without fear or reservation. “How do you know?” he breathes, voice tinged with a bit of pain. He wants to believe you, he really does, but it is so damn difficult if seemingly everyone hates him and hardly anyone trusts him. “I just do. You have never given me a reason to not trust you. You have never made me feel disrespected. You have never made me feel anxious.” You smile, still brushing over his cheek, your other hand still tightly holding his in his lap. “How long have these thoughts been there?”

“Since always,” he answers in a silent tone. “And I think they will never go away. I think these thoughts will haunt me for my whole life, just like the memories.” You lean in a little, your lips pouted, but not once breaking eye contact. “Memories?” “Honest answer?”

“Of course. I told you before, always honest answer. With me you can always be honest.” This time he squeezes your hand and turns his head just a little so he can kiss your palm. It is just a gentle and quick brush of his lips but it makes tingles erupt all over your body. “But it is quite…gloomy and awful…”

“If you want to share you can share it. If you don’t want to share it, I won’t pressure you. It is up to you, your choice.” You brush your thumb over his cheek one more time before removing your hand and placing it on his thigh, right above his knee. You watch how his throat works on a swallow, and his eyes close for a moment, long lashes drawing shadows to his cheeks. 

“My father used to hit me, used a whip on me, locked me into the closet when he got mad. He forced me to be outside during thunderstorms and he—“ Eris’ throat constricts and he cuts himself off. His lashes dampen a little and you hold his hand tighter. “Gods,” you breath and shake your head, wanting to do everything possible so you can take the pain away from him.

“I am just scared that I will also lose my temper, that if we ever have children, I will become like him. What if I will mirror his experience because it is the only parental education I know?” He swallows thickly and folds his other hand over the one you have placed on his thigh.

“I can assure you, you won’t become like that. I know you will do it differently, especially since you experienced the worst. I know you won’t let anything happen to your children, our children.” His mouth forms a little sad smile at the mention of your children and he finally lifts his gaze to you again. “I don’t deserve you,” he breathes and leans in a little, his gaze never leaving yours. A cool breeze once again dances over your skins and blows your hair into your face. Eris slowly lifts his hand, brushing the few loose strands of hair over your shoulder and then the last few behind your ear. “And I am very lucky to have you as my wife. You are stunning both on the in and outside. Kind and honest, loyal and the most beautiful female I have ever seen in my life.” 

His statement draws tears to your own eyes and you lean in further, leaning your forehead against his. “You do deserve me. We deserve each other and…” You pause, swallow and close your eyes. “And I am lucky to have you as my husband. That it is you and no other. You are kind, respectful, honest, and open-hearted. And of course, very easy on the eyes.” A small grin appears on your face and you heard the male in front of you chuckle, his warm breath tingling your skin. 

“And I want you to know that you can always talk to me. You can always talk to me about those memories, about these thoughts. I am here for you.” “But you don’t have to. You don’t have to deal with my burdens as well. You have already been forced into this marriage without choosing me. You—“ You place your lips on his, kissing him softly and only quickly. “I did not choose it, that is correct. But I am alright with it. I am lucky that I am with you, that we have each other. And I know I don’t have to offer you this, but I want to. Not because I am your wife, but because I like you. I like you a lot and I know you would do the same for me.” This time it is Eris who kisses you, a little longer and the kiss is deeper, almost a little explorative. His sighs when your lips part, inhaling deeply and his eyes open slowly. So do yours. “I’ve been wanting to do this for ages.” A little giggle parts your lips, your cheeks flushed. “Me too.” You bite down on your lower lip and lean in, your head resting on his shoulder, arms wrapping around his neck. Eris relaxes, cradles you in his strong arms, pulling you flush to his chest. “I can’t wait for us to become High Lord and Lady of this court. I know that with you at my side I can do things better. I will be different than he is. I know that you can help me with that, that you will help me. I know you will be a great High Lady.” You hum, stroking the hair at the back of his neck gently. You want to tell him that you know that he could also do this all without you, that he is not a bad person, but you don’t want to interrupt the peaceful silence that has fallen over you, only some birds and the wind rustling the trees audible around you. 

He caresses you back with his hand, his head resting against yours as you both listen to the sounds of nature around you. “I don’t know how a person can love another person but at the same time hate them so much.” He pauses and inhales deeply, his chest heaving against you. “He always used to say how proud he was of me and that I can do great things. That I will be great High Lord, but then he treated me like I was…I don’t even know like what. All the punishment he used on me was always for education, he used to say.” 

“I can’t even tell you how sorry I am, how much I want to take this pain away from you. And how much I want to walk into the Forest House right now and pierce a dagger through his heart.” Fury blazes through your veins and you lean back, looking up at your husband. He lowers his head, resting his chin on your forehead and releases a breathy chuckle. “I had no idea my wife is so violent. And as much as I appreciate this and love you for it, I can’t let you do it.”

Love. The word reverberates through you and makes your heart skip one or the other happy beat. “He won’t live much longer, we just have to endure and soon it will be over.” He leans back a little and kisses your forehead. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @sunshinebingo@tarataraaaa@brekkershadowsinger@azriels-mate123@mandziaaa@cosmic-whispers@mali22@elsie-bells@imma-too-many-fandoms@kuraikei@ginnyweasley06 @bubnix @powerfulpantera @moonlightazriel @banasheefan56 @a-frog-with-a-laptop

[rendiggitydog]

So we all know the final part of the Minecraft Poem, with ‘and the universe said’ yknow? But I just read the whole thing again and there’s lots of great lines in the rest of it too! So I’m curious, what’s your favorite line?

Under the cut I’ve pasted the whole poem minus the part we all know, with each line numbered so you can easily share what’s your fav !

1- PLAYERNAME?

2- Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.

3- That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game.

4- I like this player. It played well. It did not give up.

5- It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen.

6- That is how it chooses to imagine many things, when it is deep in the dream of a game.

7- Words make a wonderful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen.

8- They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the players witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons.

9- What did this player dream?

10- This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

11- Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen?

12- It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the [scrambled], and created a [scrambled] for [scrambled], in the [scrambled].

13- It cannot read that thought.

14- No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game.

15- Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind?

16- Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

17- But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality.

18- To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere.

19- Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear.

20- It reads our thoughts.

21- Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely [scrambled] and [scrambled], I wish to tell them that they are [scrambled] in the [scrambled]. They see so little of reality, in their long dream.

22- And yet they play the game.

23- But it would be so easy to tell them...

24- Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them living.

25- I will not tell the player how to live.

27- The player is growing restless.

28- I will tell the player a story.

29- But not the truth.

30- No. A story that contains the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance.

31- Give it a body, again.

32- Yes. Player...

33- Use its name.

34- PLAYERNAME. Player of games.

35- Good.

36- Take a breath, now. Take another. Feel air in your lungs. Let your limbs return. Yes, move your fingers. Have a body again, under gravity, in air. Respawn in the long dream. There you are. Your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. As though we were separate things.

37- Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Ancestral spirits, animal spirits. Jinn. Ghosts. The green man. Then gods, demons. Angels. Poltergeists. Aliens, extraterrestrials. Leptons, quarks. The words change. We do not change.

38- We are the universe. We are everything you think isn't you. You are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. And why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? To see you, player. To know you. And to be known. I shall tell you a story.

39- Once upon a time, there was a player.

40- The player was you, PLAYERNAME.

41- Sometimes it thought itself human, on the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock. The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas that was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap. The light was information from a star, and it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometres away.

42- Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner, on the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite. The sun was a square of white. The days were short; there was much to do; and death was a temporary inconvenience.

43- Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story.

44- Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places. Sometimes these dreams were disturbing. Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third.

45- Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen.

46- Let's go back.

47- The atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground. A woman gathered the atoms; she drank and ate and inhaled; and the woman assembled the player, in her body.

48- And the player awoke, from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream.

49- And the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of DNA. And the player was a new program, never run before, generated by a sourcecode a billion years old. And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love.

50- You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love.

51- Let's go further back.

52- The seven billion billion billion atoms of the player's body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star. So the player, too, is information from a star. And the player moves through a story, which is a forest of information planted by a man called Julian, on a flat, infinite world created by a man called Markus, that exists inside a small, private world created by the player, who inhabits a universe created by...

53- Shush. Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons".

54- Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars".

55- Sometimes it believed it was in a universe that was made of energy that was made of offs and ons; zeros and ones; lines of code. Sometimes it believed it was playing a game. Sometimes it believed it was reading words on a screen.

56- You are the player, reading words...

57- Shush... Sometimes the player read lines of code on a screen. Decoded them into words; decoded words into meaning; decoded meaning into feelings, emotions, theories, ideas, and the player started to breathe faster and deeper and realised it was alive, it was alive, those thousand deaths had not been real, the player was alive

58- You. You. You are alive.

59- and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees

60- and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again

61- and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream

[aishangotome]

Ellis Twilight: Chapter 8

Chapter 7

♡———♡

Roger: But there's no such thing as a person without emotions or desires.

Roger: Little lady, I hope you can uncover his "secret."

Roger: I don't know what the price will be.

Roger smiled wryly, waved his hand lightly, and left.

(Ellis' emotions and desires are his "secret.")

I wonder what's inside that secret box.

What do I have to offer to open it?

Ellis: Kate, sorry to keep you waiting.

I looked up in surprise to see Ellis smiling and walking toward me.

Ellis: ...

Ellis stopped next to me, stared at me for a moment, then smiled softly.

Ellis: You changed. You look cute... it really suits you.

Kate: Oh, thank you...

His sweet words, spoken as if it were the most natural thing in the world, almost made me forget everything I was thinking about.

Ellis: Let's go... patrol and picnic.

Kate: ... Okay.

(I hope I can understand a little more today.)

(Ellis' "secret.")

After patrolling the suspicious parts of London together, we...

...resolved a quarrel between two drunks and escorted a lost child home.

Other than that, nothing unusual happened.

-

Kate: Mmm! This feels so good...!

I came to the park for lunch break and lay down on the picnic blanket Ellis had spread out.

Ellis also lay down next to me.

Ellis: It really does... feel good.

Kate: This time of day might be the best...

I closed my eyes, entranced by the sunlight filtering through the trees.

The scent of sun-warmed grass mingled with the aroma of freshly baked scones from the basket, creating a peaceful, happy fragrance.

(Sunshine, the smell of grass, and delicious food. Picnics are the best...)

Kate: Mmm, feels so good.

As I breathed in the happiness that filled the air...

Ellis: You look happy.

A voice came from beside me, and when I turned around... I saw his handsome face so close to mine, and my heart skipped a beat.

Ellis: ... You once said you're happiest when you're napping in the sun on vacation.

Ellis: I was wondering how happy that was.

Ellis: I wanted to know, so I invited you to take a nap today...

Ellis: ... Are you happier now than when you're "napping in the sun on vacation"?

Ellis leaned on his elbow on the blanket and looked down at me.

(... If I want to know how Ellis feels, I should be honest about my own feelings too.)

Kate: ... There are delicious scones waiting for me, and the breeze is nice, unlike my bed at home.

Kate: And I can talk to you like this, Ellis... so I think I'm happier now.

Ellis: Hmm... I see.

Ellis: Do you prefer being with someone to being alone, Kate?

Kate: Huh...?

Kate: Yeah, I do like talking to people...

Ellis: Who are you happiest when you're talking to?

Kate: The happiest...?

Ellis: Yes. Is there someone you particularly like?

(Particularly... like... why is he...)

I don't know why Ellis is asking me these questions, but my heart is beating faster on its own.

Kate: Um... I don't think there's anyone I particularly like the most.

Ellis: I see... If you find someone, let me know.

(Let him know...?)

I suddenly noticed the difference in temperature between Ellis and me.

Kate: ... Why?

Ellis: Because I want to help you be happy.

Kate: Thank you...?

Ellis: You're welcome.

Ellis: I wonder how happy you would be, Kate, if you could spend time with the person you like the most.

(Wh-What... that surprised me.)

The tension in my body unconsciously eased.

My heart was pounding for a different reason than before.

(He asked me who I like to be with and if there's anyone special...)

(For a moment, I thought he was flirting with me... what am I thinking?)

(I was trying not to get my hopes up.)

Maybe I was getting conceited because Ellis is so kind and good at spoiling me.

(This is so embarrassing...!)

Kate: I'm happy, but I can't ask you to take care of my love life too.

Kate: But if I find someone I like, I'll definitely let you know.

Ellis: ...

Ellis smiled, then suddenly sat up and put his hands on either side of me.

Kate: ... Huh, Ellis...?

Ellis: ... Kate, do you like me?

(Huh...?)

Ellis leaned over me, his shoulder framing the blue sky above. His soft-looking bangs almost brushed against my cheek as his face came close.

(Wow, Ellis' hair looks so soft... I bet it would feel nice to touch it.)

For a moment, I almost lost myself in a daydream, but then I snapped back to reality.

(Wait, wait! Did Ellis just say... "Do you like me?")

Kate: Wh-What's gotten into you all of a sudden?

Ellis: I just thought you looked... a little lonely.

(Oh...)

I remembered how I was getting conceited and my face heated up.

(He noticed that I was nervous and a little embarrassed because of my misunderstanding.)

Ellis: So I thought maybe you were thinking about me.

(Thinking about him... I might be.)

There's no doubt that my heart races whenever I'm with Ellis.

(But... it's probably not love.)

(I'm just getting carried away because he's being so unconditionally kind to me.)

When I shook my head, Ellis tilted his head innocently.

Ellis: No? I see... That's too bad.

Kate: ... Too bad?

Ellis: If you liked me, Kate, and we became lovers,

Ellis: I thought I could make you even happier.

(If we became lovers...?)

Kate: ... Do you like me, Ellis?

Ellis: Yes, I like you.

Ellis said it smoothly, without any hesitation.

Kate: But you just said you'd help me if I found someone I liked...?

Ellis: That's not a lie. After all... you want the person you like to be happy, right?

(That might be true, but...)

I'm starting to get confused about what Ellis means by "like."

Kate: What do you like about me? We've only known each other for a few days.

Ellis: I think you're wonderful because you're a hard worker.

Ellis: You're cute when you can't resist delicious food and give in.

Ellis: You're kind enough to patrol for the sake of victims you don't even know.

Ellis: You remember my favorite foods and keep me company for naps like this.

Ellis: Even yesterday... you weren't scared, you were worried about me.

(Oh...)

His gaze was direct, and I felt like I was drowning in the sweet words that flowed so easily from his lips.

Ellis: ... Do you need more of an explanation?

Kate: N-No, it's okay...

Is this... Ellis' feelings? Ellis' desires?

The contents of Ellis' "secret" box?

But it's all too... convenient for me.

*flashback*

Kate: What about something that would make you happy, Ellis, regardless of other people's happiness?

Ellis: ––Nothing.

Ellis: What I want to do is something that benefits others.

*flashback over*

It might be true that Ellis likes me.

But...

Kate: ...If I liked you too, Ellis,

Kate: But I said I'd be happier if we didn't become lovers, what would you do?

Ellis: Does that mean... you prefer things the way they are now?

Kate: ... Yes.

Ellis: ... As long as you're happy, I don't mind what our relationship is.

(Ah... I knew it.)

When Ellis said, "If we became lovers," it was to make me happy, and he doesn't really care either way.

(Somehow, that's...)

(... a little lonely.)

Kate: Then... I prefer things the way they are now.

(I like Ellis as a person, he's kind.)

(I want to return the favor as much as he makes me happy.)

Kate: But instead of just making someone else happy,

Kate: I think you should be lovers with someone you want to be with forever.

Ellis: Me... forever?

Kate: Yes.

Ellis: ...

(Did I say something that strange...?)

Ellis froze, staring blankly into space.

(What's wrong?)

Kate: Ellis, are you okay?

Ellis: ... Uh.

Ellis: Y-Yeah... sorry, I'm fine.

His eyes wandered vaguely, and he gently lifted himself up from where he was leaning over me.

(Ellis's expression just now...)

*flashback*

Bill: Right? Every time a show is successful, I think maybe this is the happiest I'll ever be. I could die right now!

Ellis: ...

Bill: But when I wake up after a celebratory drink, I think, no, I can make something even better!

Bill: I'm going to see more of the world that I don't know!

Kate: Hehe, that's wonderful. I'm rooting for you!

Ellis: ...

(Ellis...?)

*flashback over*

(His expression was a little similar to when he was looking at Bill.)

Ellis: Kate, shall we have some scones?

Ellis opened the basket and smiled at me.

Kate: Oh, right! We need to go back on patrol after we eat and rest for a bit.

As we arranged the food on the gingham lunch mat, the picnic blanket looked like it was set for a party.

Kate: Wow, what a beautiful "wolf's mouth." Victor is really good at making scones.

I split the scone in half along the seam, put a generous amount of cranberry jam in between, and handed it to Ellis.

Ellis: Thank you. ... Oh, right, Kate.

Kate: Yes?

Just as I was about to take a bite of my scone with jam, I felt something gently wrap around my wrist.

Ellis: I found this while we were patrolling. It's for you, Kate.

It was a bracelet decorated with thorns and roses.

Kate: Wow... it's beautiful. Thank you.

Exchanging gifts had become a part of our daily routine, so I accepted it without a second thought, but then I suddenly realized something.

(Wait a minute? This design...)

Kate: It looks... like it matches your accessories, Ellis?

Ellis: Oh... you're right.

The brooch on his collar, the chain hanging from his belt...

Many of the gold and silver accessories he wore had shapes reminiscent of thorns and brambles.

Ellis looked down at himself and chuckled.

Ellis: I must have bought it because I thought it would look good on you.

(Th-That's kind of...)

(It's like he unconsciously wanted me to wear the same thing...)

His confession from earlier came back to me, and my face grew warm.

(Could it be that his confession was serious...?)

(N-No way!)

Kate: Oh, thank you. I'll treasure it.

Ellis: .......

Ellis's eyes widened, and then he smiled faintly.

Ellis: ... Yes, please do.

By the time we finished our patrol and returned to the castle, night was falling on the city.

It was that night that we decided to head to the gang's hideout.

Ellis: ... I hope we can continue to have days like this forever.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 9

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[kurishiri]

14 . . . “ burned by a plead and an impulse ”

— 🌹 elbert’s main route chapter 14 premium story.

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: invasion of personal space.

There was no presence of people in the bed of flowers, where a gentle breeze blew.

Kate: Mmm! That hits the spot...!

Elbert: ...Mn.

Rays of sunlight filtered through the gaps between tree leaves, and I set a basket down nearby. We then sat down next to it as well.

Kate: I like this kind of weather the most. What about you, Lord Elbert?

Elbert: I also like clear days, as they make me feel calm. But... that’s not to say I dislike the rain.

I was searching for something — anything — that Lord Elbert liked or enjoyed. Something, that could make him happy.

That was my secret goal.

While lining the bread and scones I had brought with me on the blanket, I rambled on.

Kate: Then, do you prefer jam on your scone?

Elbert: Yes... Now that I think about it, I do spread jam on more than clotted cream.

E: I seem to have never taken well to milk in the first place...

Kate: So, you like bitter things, but not milk? ...You have a kind of more mature taste.

Elbert: ...And you?

Kate: I... like both sweet things and bitter things... and as for scones, I can go either way with jam or cream.

Elbert: ...Hehe.

Kate: What is it...?

Elbert: I was just thinking... how your glutinous side of you is cute...

Kate: ...!

Elbert: You have cream on your face still. ...Near your mouth.

His fingers brushed over my lips, and with my face feeling warm, I turned away.

Kate: ...Thank you...

(So, he doesn’t like milk, and he likes bitter things.)

(And while he himself doesn’t have much appetite... he doesn’t seem to dislike watching me eat.)

Until we finished our scones, we held a casual conversation without falling silent once — and, Lord Elbert told me many things about himself.

Like how horse riding was considered a trend among nobles, though he had little interest in partaking in betting on the winners...

...but rather, he was fond of taking long rides himself.

With every little bit I found out about Lord Elbert, my heart felt like it was going to spring out of my chest, out of my control.

Kate: ...Being able to hear what you like makes me really happy, Lord Elbert.

(The reason I wanted to know was because I wanted to save him,)

(but instead, I end up feeling so happy that I end up a little bit at a loss.)

I murmured while drinking an after-meal tea, when suddenly Lord Elbert turned to face me.

Elbert: ...Do you, feel like giving me your heart now?

Kate: Eh!?

I thought I was going to drop the teacup in my hand then and there when I heard his words, and I quickly put it down on the saucer.

Kate: N-no... not, yet.

Elbert: Is that so... that’s too bad.

Kate: W-waah, look at this flower! It’s really, really cute!

I purposely changed the subject, avoiding his gaze which seemed to pierce through me.

(...I need to get a hold of myself...)

(If, I end up telling him that my heart’s stolen so soon...)

(He would take me away... then and there.)

(And, I might end up like another one of those decorations in his room.)

Elbert: ...You’re right, it is a very cute flower.

I wasn’t sure whether my attempt at diverting his attention was truly successful or not, but regardless Lord Elbert directed his gaze to the small flower blooming nearby.

Elbert: At one point, I did like making flower crowns... that was when I was young, though.

Kate: ...Crowns...?

It seemed as though he was remembering something, and I couldn’t help but feel drawn to his profile.

Elbert: I often gave them as presents... because, when I did, everyone seemed so happy... and they would smile at me.

With fingers that resembled works of art, he gently picked some flowers and started to make a flower crown with deft movements.

Kate: Wow... you’re really good at this.

Elbert: ...Here you go.

Lord Elbert placed the finished flower crown atop my head.

Kate: Thank you...

Elbert: ...

He smiled so happily, my chest squeezed my heart tightly — painfully.

(So, he liked to make flower crowns... so that others could smile...)

I gently touched the flower crown on my head.

I felt that the Lord Elbert right now who continued to collect beautiful things,

and the young Lord Elbert who made flower crowns, were of the same essence.

(He had always... wanted to make the people beside him smile.)

(Perhaps, that was... all he wanted.)

And that was as endearing as it was painful. These feelings surged from within me, overwhelming me together.

——Because, it was specifically that innocent kindness of his that made him suffer so.

Kate: ...This is a special skill that suits you, Lord Elbert. I think it’s wonderful.

I wasn’t sure I could hide my pain completely, so I looked down as I murmured.

Elbert: ...Kate.

At that moment, a sincere voice called my name.

Kate: Yes?

(...!)

When I lifted my head, I was immediately met with eyes that looked like jewels before me.

At some point, his long, golden eyelashes and skin that looked like pottery had drawn near, closing the space between us.

(Ah, our lips—)

—are going to touch, was what I thought,

and, I immediately pushed back against Lord Elbert’s chest.

Kate: Lord Elbert, what are you...

Elbert: I, want to kiss you.

Kate: ...?

We were so close that our breaths might touch, and his voice lowered as he whispered.

When he did, my head ran so wild, it was a wonder how we were able to converse with each other just before.

Kate: Why...

Elbert: Because, you won’t kiss me.

Kate: That’s... that’s because I...

Elbert: I want to... touch you more.

E: And, I want to know more of you. Your voice, your breath, your warmth... everything.

Kate: N-no, you can’t.

Elbert: ...Really?

Kate: ...!

When he looked at me with those searching eyes, my words caught in my throat.

(Because...)

(You want to kiss me because... you want to ‘have’ me, isn’t that right...?)

Elbert: The more I look at you, the more it hurts... and I can’t bear it...

E: It’s almost like... there’s poison... running through my body.

E: If only you could become mine——this pain would surely disappear.

(Please, don’t look at me with those earnest eyes...)

——Or my heart will waver.

No matter how much I wanted to convince myself otherwise, I couldn’t think of this plead as a tactic he was using to have me.

Lord Elbert wasn’t very talkative, nor was he very expressive. But, even so, he didn’t utter any lie.

That’s why, I couldn’t help but hope.

Hope that, maybe, Lord Elbert wanted to touch me simply because he liked me.

(If... If I tell Lord Elbert that I like him,)

(Maybe, just maybe, Lord Elbert could forgive himself, and wish for happiness with me.)

I could break the curse that was hurting him with something like a ‘true love.’

And, maybe — just maybe — I could save him from the sin he had burdened himself with, and from his atonement.

I... ended up wishing for that kind of fairy tale.

(If I could become)

(the key to save Lord Elbert—)

Elbert: ...Could you move your palm away?

Kate: ...

Elbert: Kate.

His voice seemed to mix with a long sigh, and his shoulders were trembling.

Kate: ...Please... don’t whisper so close to my ear like that...

Elbert: Why? ...Because you won’t be able to push me away with your hand?

Kate: It’s because... I don’t think I’ll be able to stay calm...

Elbert: Does that mean your heart has been stolen?

E: If that’s the case, then there’s no reason for me to stop.

Kate: ...!

My heart was beating so loud, I thought it was going to burst.

It was as though it was shouting at me to give into this impulse.

Elbert: Kate...

Kate: Ah...

Lord Elbert’s arms wrapped around my back, embracing me gently.

With my hands still against his chest, I could tell that Lord Elbert’s heartbeat had quickened too.

(How easy it was for him to embrace me...)

It was as though my acts of resistance were negligible.

Lord Elbert had me surrounded right away, just like that.

He could, easily kiss me by force.

(But even so, he’s waiting for my answer...)

(...Is that because, if he does something reckless, he wouldn’t be able to steal my heart...?)

(Or, is there something more, and he——)

A fleeting hope bloomed in my chest, so faint I could cut through it.

Elbert: ...Kate.

Kate: ...ah...

I could feel his lips on my earlobe, the sensation light.

The feeling was so light that I didn’t know if it was just that his lips happened to touch my earlobe,

but nonetheless it made my body go sweetly numb, making me feel out of this world.

Kate: ...Lord Elbert.

Elbert: You’re not going to push me away...?

Kate: ...!

(That—)

(That’s because, I am in love with you... hopelessly so.)

(In truth, I do want to be touched by you.)

(I want to tell you that I like you, and I want to kiss you too.)

(But, if I do that...)

(...will it be really enough so that he can forgive himself?)

Lord Elbert will probably have me, my heart completely stolen, then.

As another object of atonement.

(Just how much would the act of hurting someone who likes him in order to ‘have’ them—)

(—hurt Lord Elbert, deeply so?)

Kate: ...We...can’t.

Letting out a hot breath, I desperately clung to reason,

and strongly pushed his chest away.

Kate: Please, don’t kiss me...

Elbert: ......

It was a choice that would neither save him nor hurt him.

I had no idea that saying something against my heart could be so painful.

Elbert: ......Alright.

Lord Elbert quietly murmured, letting me go.

(...I...I really...)

(I really... don’t want you to let me go.)

A complex mix of frustration that made me want to chase after him and relief filled my chest.

Just then—

Kate: ...!

Lord Elbert’s head dropped on my shoulders with a small thump.

Elbert: ...Is this at least, alright with you?

Golden locks tickled the crook of my neck.

I couldn’t see his expression, but I could hear a little bit of sadness, along with relief, in his voice.

Kate: ......Yes.

Elbert: Thank you...

Like a child who got his wish granted, his forehead rested on my shoulder.

(...I, want to hug him...)

He was so endearing, and yet, I had to keep it a secret — and it hurt my heart.

We stayed that way until evening came.

It seemed that even the most trivial thing could shatter this quiet tranquility, inside which I wavered.

—— Time skip ——

That night, after dinner, we were called in by Victor and William.

William: We would like to discuss with you two about the auction hosted by the Bernard Company that Elbert was invited to.

W: It would appear that there is a high chance that the top of the Company will make an appearance there.

W: If you manage to win the bid for the special showcase, we might have the chance to make contact with him.

(The special showcase... he must mean the blue diamond.)

William: Once that happens, it would be ideal to take care of Bernard away from the public eye.

W: In the event you’re unable to do so, then if you can come up with a pretext to meet with him again, that will also suffice.

Elbert: ...Alright... understood.

William: Then, I leave the rest to you. Ahh, before I forget.

W: On the surface they are masquerading as a salon party, so allegedly you will need a partner to accompany you...

W: Have you decided on someone, Elbert?

Without a moment’s hesitation, Lord Elbert’s gaze turned toward me.

Elbert: Kate... I want you to come with.

​​Somehow, I managed to reel my mind back to myself, and suppressing the pounding of my heart, I nodded.

Kate: ...Alright, I look forward to working with you.

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