#i want to study mori’s character in this story too. ANDDD chuuya bc i typically see him conjoined w dazai i wanna see him in a separate lig | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ice-devourer · 4 months

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i have an skk (ish?) story in my head.

idk if i should write it as a fic or draw it into a series,,, i prefer drawing it—my drawing skills, however, are shit. if i DO write it,,,i don’t think it will get engagement bc it technically includes romance but that's not it's core and i myself prefer reading fanfiction for the lovey dovey sweet moments and not to feel awful so what now 😭😭😭😭

#one more thing: in this story mori is not demonized so yeah i might get attacked T — T #i want it to be a character-study-ish story.#i wanna imbue my experiences into it and not all of them are. well. pleasant.#i want to write dazai in this specific family dynamic: knowing he was not straight since 11. being a pastor’s child in a small town.#to have the knowledge that ur mother has her own traumas bc of motherhood being a wife and a child herself #yet knowing too that she's hurting you irreparably and the conflict this creates within you #how it is to love people u dont like #i want bpth him and chuuya to deal with (separate) betrayals. with growing old unprepared. with the vulnerability that an honest #human connection requires.#and u know other not so comfortable or sweet shit #i want to study mori’s character in this story too. ANDDD chuuya bc i typically see him conjoined w dazai i wanna see him in a separate lig #i want them to have stories before their stories converge #AAARGGHH CAN U SEE THAT IM BEING TORTURED BY THIS OH MY GOD #i wanna study yosano and sigma and nikolai and fyodor ARGGHHGH #i wanna study them through a story #but the story i wanna create has zero demand 😭

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