#i want to set things on fire and also cry till i pass out 👍 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lunarsapphism · 2 years ago

Text

nothing like celebrating your dads birthday in late march and being weirdly upset but not knowing why and then realizing its because your bio dad's birthday is on april 2nd and it took you almost ten years to realize that their birthdays have only been one week apart this whole time

#i want to set things on fire and also cry till i pass out 👍#listening to thumbs did not help this realization #im fucking exhausted #and also in a horrifically bad place mentally right now #hes gonna celebrate with his other family #just like he has for the last ten years #and i wish one of these birthdays that he'll finally just fucking die #but also i know that would absolutely ruin me in a way that i cant understand #he'll mention me and my siblings in a crudely written facebook post #and ill go and check it but then regret doing so like i always do #its like im still holding out hope for change even though i dont want to want that #i hate him with every fiber of my being and yet i still find myself wanting to know if i was actually loved #or if any of it actually fucking mattered #is that such a bad thing?#i don't know #its been a rough day #aiilov-personal

1 note · View note