#i want to punch dean in his dipshit face he's great

[hottest-girl-around]

Just finished F:NV's Dead Money DLC for the first time. Actually amazing, probably the best one

[saventhhaven]

Jailbird

Pairing: mentions of Dean x reader

Tags: humor, police!reader, irritated!reader, cute!Dean, Dean gets punched

Word Count: 1,217

A/N: I had literally so much fun writing this one, so I hope you guys like it! :) also, just a reminder that I love when you guys reach out to meee

(Gif not mine)

The second you walked into the police station, you saw him. When he gave you that shit-eating grin with raised eyebrows, you only shook your head back at him. For some reason, being behind bars in a police station was a joke to him, but to you, it definitely wasn't, and you were definitely not amused. Before you could march over to him and ask him what the hell was wrong with him, your boss's voice caught your attention.

"Y/N." You walked over to her desk, begrudgingly. You were about to get an earful based on the look on her face, which was total bullshit, considering none of this was your fault in the first place. She leaned over the front of her desk as you got close, her voice low.

"You wanna tell me why this man used his one call on you? How the hell do you two even know each other?" Dean looked a bit more anxious than before when you glared over at him. Maybe he was finally starting to understand the severity of the situation. Good. He treated this like it was all some big game, but when it came down to it in the end, the legal system could leave you with your hands tied, and you wouldn't be able to do anything. Anything legal, anyway. And as a police officer, it wouldn't exactly look great on future resumes that you helped a "nationally wanted" man slip through the system. That dipshit. One of these days, he was really going to get himself into trouble, and you weren't going to be able to help him. Really, he was lucky that he wasn't already on his way to prison. 

Your boss turned the screen of her computer for you to look at, and you understood. Of course, he hadn't given her his real name. Looking back at you was a picture of Dean, but the name and information were all wrong. "Michael Gallagher."

"He's an old family friend," you said with a grimace. Calling Dean a "friend" was a complicated situation, and it was about to become a lot more complicated if this little conundrum affected your chances at a big promotion. "What's he in for?"

"Disorderly conduct," she answered, and you had to bite back a breath of relief. If that was all, things weren't as bad as you had initially made them out to be.

"Listen," you sidled up to the side of her desk, lowering your head. "I know this doesn't excuse any behavior that violates the law, but he's a little..."  Leaving the sentence open-ended, the two of you turned your gaze on Dean, who grinned winningly back at you. Your boss sighed.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Now, I know this is a class C demeanor, and that's not something I take lightly," you continued. "So, if you really think he needs to do the thirty days, I'll support your decision. But do you think we can cut him a little bit of slack just this once?" Your boss gnashed her teeth together in irritation for several moments before she finally responded.

"$500 fine," she barked. "That's the best I can do, but this is a one-time thing, Y/N, you hear me?" You stood straight up, nodding frantically.

"Yes, ma'am." She tossed you the keys to the cuffs.

"Good. Now get him the hell out of my station before I change my mind." As you approached the cell where Dean had been locked up, his face lit up. You first unlocked the cell door, and then knelt down in front of him to unlock the handcuffs.

"Long time, no see."

"Don't," you warned, being careful not to let your boss hear you. When he was free from all restraints, you grabbed him by the arm a bit more forcefully than necessary, ushering him out of the station.

"Come on, 'Mikey,' let's get you home." The moment the door to the station closed behind you, you let go of Dean's arm.

"Y/N," he started.

"Don't," you said again. "Not yet. She can still see us." The two of you walked in silence for a few more moments before you finally reached got close to your car, which was mercifully out of the station's view.

"Look, sweetheart, I-" In one smooth motion, you whirled on your heel, and slugged him right in the mouth. Dean staggered back, clutching his jaw in surprise. You smirked, despite yourself. That had been one hell of a punch. "Son of a bitch!" he swore, swiping his tongue over his now-swollen bottom lip. As you planted your hands firmly on your hips, he took a moment to collect himself. "Okay, I deserved that one," he finally admitted.

"Yeah," you agreed. "You did. I help you and your brother with a case, you sleep with me, and you're gone the next morning? That's a real shitty thing to do, Dean." He took a cautious step toward you, raising his hands placatingly.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. It wasn't anything personal, and I thought we were on the same page."

"And then the next time I hear from you is..." You glanced down at your watch. "Two in the morning to get your ass out of trouble with local police. You know what, I think you might deserve another one." You swung at Dean again, but this time, he dodged.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Okay, the first one was totally fair, but don't you think this is pushing it?" You let out a heavy breath through your nose, and your eye twitched.

"I think you’re pushing it," you shot back. Dean bowed his head, as if embarrassed, surprising you.

"I know," he agreed. "I'm sorry." That certainly wasn't what you had been expecting. "How can I make it up to you?" You gave him a suggestive once-over, looking up at him through your eyelashes

"Oh, I can think of a few ways." Dean matched your expression as you traced a finger over his chest.

"That so?" he replied. "Well, I think we can arrange that." You took a step back, clasping your hands together.

"Great! So, you're buying, then?" Dean frowned.

"Wait, what?"

"Breakfast," you answered. "After a long nap, though," you added as an afterthought. "It's still technically the middle of the night, and I was awakened at the ass-crack of dawn to take care of some business, on my day off, by the way." The bewildered look on Dean's face was absolutely priceless. "What else did you think I meant?"

"Well, I mean..." He swallowed hard. "I thought..." Leading him to your car, you patted him on the shoulder.

"Relax," you finally said, relieving him of the embarrassment. "Let's just head back to my place, and we'll get some food a little later, okay?" The eldest Winchester sighed in relief and got into the car.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Okay."

You weren't sure where the miscommunication had happened last time, but his apology did seem genuine. Plus, you got to punch him, so that felt pretty great. You did feel like you had to be careful around him, though. Last time, his charm had pulled you in, but you knew what to expect now. Whatever happened, you were not going to have sex with Dean Winchester again. Probably.

Thank you so much for reading!

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[80sgaytrashgoblin]

Taglist: @queenscene2 and @toastess-with-the-mostess

@breadstickcat mentioned wanting to see the Monsters and Mana game from this drabble, so I delivered.

Sven’s face flickered on the screen, where he was projecting from his hospital room on Ebb. His doctor approved him to run the game every Saturday, so after some convincing on Coran’s part, they sat around the lounge table with their dice and character cards. 

“Alright, before ve start, everyone go around and say voo your characters are real quickly.” Sven spoke up, after all introductions were made. 

“I’m Maxi, an elven shapeshifter.” Allura said, rolling a handful of dice in her hand. 

“I’m Gremlin, a goblin alchemist.” Pidge grinned. 

“That fucking figures.” Lance snorted. “Anyways, I’m a tabaxi archer named Smokey.” 

Hunk snickered. “Furry.” 

“Shut up!” Lance pushed him over. “I bet you’re not any better!” 

Hunk rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m a halfling barbarian named Biggs.” 

Keith giggled while Lance rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m Draxis, a tiefling sorcerer who is pretending to be a human wizard named Dean.” 

“Of course Keith was the one who went with a complicated backstory.” Hunk rolled his eyes, playfully punching his shoulder. “We’re all out here with half-assed characters, and this dipshit has created a full on backstory and motivations over here.” 

Keith rolled his eyes. “Your character is just a gag.” 

Sven cleared his throat. “Let’s get started.” 

Our heroes are in the town of Tonder, known for agriculture and cattle, but they were arrested. They’re in a large cell with a few cots, and there’s one guard sitting at a table on the other side of the bars.

“So,” the elf, named Maxi, spoke up. “Why are you all in here?” 

“I was the one who blew up the market stall in town square.” The goblin, Gremlin, grinned.

“I got in a fight with the cat.” The short but beefy halfling responded, pointing his thumb at the tabaxi.sitting next to him. 

Smokey snorted, his tail flicking in the direction of Biggs. “Just because you can’t handle short jokes doesn’t mean I should be arrested for it.” 

“You little-” Biggs was interrupted by the guard banging on the bars. “Shut up!” 

“What about you?” The wizard, Dean, asked.

“Well, I was smoking some Barbs...” 

“So, drug use, got it.” 

“No, there’s more to it. You know the bear that appeared in the middle of town...” 

“Yeah?” 

“That was me.” 

“You can turn into a bear!” Gremlin shouted, his eyes wide. “That’s awesome!” 

“Why are you here, anyways?” Maxi asked Dean. He just shrugged.

“I tried to rob him and his hands set themselves on fire.” Smokey’s tail flicked again, pointing at the wizard. Dean just leveled a glare at him. 

Biggs groaned, leaning back. “What are we going to do to get out of here?”

“I’m an alchemist.” Pidge spoke up, looking through his skills. “Can I look around to see if I can use anything in the cell to make a bomb?” 

“Make an Investigation check.” Sven nodded.

Pidge rolled the d20 in his hand. “That’s a natural 20! It’s a 24, baby.” 

“You find all the ingredients you need.” 

“Great. Then I’m going to make a bomb.” 

“Roll a d20.” 

Pidge rolled the d20 again. “15.” 

“The bomb isn’t pretty, but you’ve got a working bomb.” 

Pidge grinned. “Gremlin has his bomb, so he’s gonna say ‘Everyone move out of the way.’ and fucking chuck it.” 

“Yeah, we’re all moving.” Allura muttered.

“Pidge, give me a Dexterity check.” 

Pidge rolled the d20 again. “That’s a 3.” 

Everyone laughed. “We’re all going to die!” Hunk laughed, dramatically flopping backwards. 

“Everyone take a d6 of damage.” Sven chuckled. “And roll initiative. You’ve gotta fight the guard...” 

[trash-and-recyle-fics]

Feisty 2

Warnings: Violence? Swearing grammar punctuation and spelling mistakes

Summary: so uh here’s the thing I suck at summary’s so just read

Enjoy

———————————————————————

You have been living with the Winchester’s for about a month now...

The asshat actually made you go to school. You signed up at the office with Sam and started in a week. One week to make it so you didn’t have to go. As soon as you got back to the bunker you went to the bathroom and grabbed the hunters first aid hit. It had salt a lighter dental floss, cotton balls, guaze, rubbing alcohol and a pack of sewing needles. You grabbed it and went to your room. It was simple just a bed with green sheets, obviously cement walls and a black rug on the floor. You went to your wall where a mirror hung. You sterilized the needle with the lighter and counted to three. You shoved the needle through your septum and before you pushed it all the way through you went to your dresser that was up against the far wall and grabbed the nose jewelry you stole the last time you went on a run with Sam. Putting the pericing in was as painful as 99 paper cuts. You cleaned it with a cotton ball and rubbing alcohol. Putting everything away you got out you grabbed your makeup- that you also swiped when Dean took you to the closet mall for clothes shopping. You drew on eyeliner and put on mascara. You did one final look in the mirror and went to talk the the boys.

“Hey Y/N I was wondering- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?” Dean pointed to your face and screamed like a 12 year old girl who saw a spider.

“Its makeup dipshit.” Sam cam up behind you holding a plate of food. Most likely for Dean consider the guy can barely take care of himself. As you turned to look at him Dean started talking again.

“Sammy! Tell her no! She isn’t aloud to where that shit and she punched a fucking hole in her nose!! Tell her to take it out!” Sam looked mildly horrified as he set the plate on the library table.

“Y/N.. why did you perice your nose?”

“I wanted to.” You shrugged and started to walk to the map room. Dean moves around you so he blocked your way.

“Too young- you are too young!” He shouted. Now you had a full on shit eating grin.

“I’m 16 smartass.” You remarked.

“Okay okay! Calm down, Dean she is just expressing herself through makeup. It not a huge deal.” Sam spoke.

“She.Has.A.Hole.In.Her.Face!!!”

“Awe Dean just listen to Sammy. It’s not a big deal.” You walked back to your room and sat there with a giant grin of your face. Step one is done.

A couple days later with only five more days to go to school you decided to take the next step. At night you researched cases and beasts you thought to be mystical. You had learned enough to know that a couple states over there was a werewolf case. All victims found with hearts gone. So the next morning you put your plan in action.

“Dean.... I’m boredddd.” You said while sitting at the map table as he researched a monster that was causing people to die prematurely.

“Not my problem Y/N.” He said not even looking up from the lore book.

“Hey Sam did you know there is a werewolf case about a days drive away.” He almost choked on his coffee.

“How do you know what a werewolf case looks like?” Dean eyes were glowing with anger.

“There are tons of books and files on them here. I wanna go kill it. Will you take me?” You said not even offering a glance at Dean.

“No. You will it go on hunts. The most you will ever do is read about them. Are we clear?” Dean said looking you strait in the eyes.

“Oh come on-“

“He’s right Y/N. You won’t go on a hunt. Ever. As long as we are here you will not.” Sam stood and left the room.

Dean wasn’t looking at you anymore he was looking through you with a sad expression on his face.

“I’m still bored.” He again looked at you and had a ghost of a smile.

Part three was the hardest and probably the one that would work though. You had been talking to another hunters son. Sam has gone on a hunt and needed information about the thing. The boy called to get the information from Dean but you picked up instead. Now you guys have been texting.

You sat in the kitchen with a sandwich in front of you. Your phone facing up and getting texts from Joel. The case had ended about a day ago and Sam was home. Joel was sweet but just wasn’t your type. As Sam walked in he sat down across from you with a beer.

“Hey so Y/N Dean and I were talking and-*ding*.” Your phone went off. Then again and again. Finally Sam took it and looked at the texts.

“What the hell Y/N.” Sam set your phone down and rubbed his forehead.

“What?” You took your phone and put it in your pocket.

“Dean is going to have a heart attack.”

“Just don’t tell him.”

“Actually I came In here to talk to you about something.. Dean and I have talked about you meeting some uh people.” Confused you took a defensive stance.

“And what does that mean Samuel?”

“We have some friends that are away right now, in fact they are also helping Dean.. they are going to come here in about an hour..” deciding to take it a step further you reasponded.

“Is one cute? Or maybe hot? Like what do they look like. How big are his hands? You know what they say Sammy big hands- big feet big-“

“DONT FINISH THAT.”

He got up with his beer and left. So Dean would be home in an hour or so with the guets and you needed to up the anti. In your room you put on the shortest pair of short you had, a tight shirt with a flannel unbottend and just put on your same old shoes.

You applied heavy eyeliner and mascara and put on your worst attitude. Now this would surly delay school for at least a couple more days.

As Dean came in through the heavy door you waited in the libary with the very phone the boys gave you while texting Joel. He was getting flirty and you grew impatient. Sam and Dean called you into the map room and you gladly got up to go. You texted Joel back and put the phone in your pocket. You pulled up your shorts a bit and went to great the guets. There was a guy wearing a trench coat and another wearing jeans and a green jacket. As you sat in a chair of the map room you put your feet up on the table.

“What the hell are you wearing?!”

“Oh you know a flannel.”

“No not that those.” He pointed to your shorts and the two men also looked confused.

“What do you mean?” The sickingly sweet voice almost drove yourself crazy.

“THATS IT!” Dean hit the table and you flinched. Sam saw but was to concerned about the high tension in the room.

“YOU WALK AROUND HERE LIKE THE WORLD OWES YOU SOMETHING! YOU THINK THAT GIVING YOU A PLACE TO STAY AND FOOD WAS ENOUGH BUT APPARENTLY NOT! SO TELL ME Y/N WHAT ELS DO YOU WANT?!” Shock ran hot through your body. So you did what you do best and hide it with attitude.

“Stop trying to be my dad I have a dad!!” You stood as you yelled.

“Oh yeah because he cared so much about you! He used you as a punching bag! He didn’t love you Y/N!” You stepped back. The words sinking in and sadness taking over. The room got so quite, but the air was as thick as a war zone. You made yourself look at Dean through you tears and quite crying.

“I don’t need you. I could leave and just go. Maybe go back home. They wanted me at least.” You turn to pack your shit but again he had to open his trap.

“They didn’t need you Y/N the used you.” You turned on your heel and ran to him smaking him across the face. You made a fist and hit him in the chest. He backed away but you continued your outburst. You hit shoved and smacked him. Finally Sam grabbed you from behind and lifted you away from Dean.

“DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THEY DIDN’T WANT ME!” You struggled against Sam and yearned to knock the daylights out of the elder Winchester.

“CAS!” Sam’s voice echoed. You paid him no mind though. You were full on crying and scratching at his arms so you could get back to Dean. Cas walked in front of your veiw and raised to fingers. Then all went black.

TIME SKIP

You woke up in your bed your shoes were off and you were covered with a blanket. You rolled over and started to cry. You cluched your stomach and started to rock. Grabbing the blanket and put it to your face. Covering your mouth and nose to try and silence the sobbing. You layed back down and continued rocking and crying.

*In the kitchen*

“I don’t know Dean but maybe you should try and talk to her.”

“No. She obviously doesn’t want to talk.” His face was bruising already and had cut on his lip. Sam has bled a bit from you scratching at his arms.

“Dean-“

“What Cas?”

“She is awake.” The brothers looked at each other. Sam stood and followed Dean down the hall.

*in your room*

You heard the echo of the footsteps and you covered your head with the blanket. Your door opened and you tried to dry your eyes.

“Hey Y/N?” Sam spoke

“Get out.” You voice sounded weak and you hated it.

“No you can’t do that! Not again just -damn it- talk to us!” Dean pulled your blanket off of you and you curled into a ball.

“What do you want? Why can’t you just leave me? Why didn’t you just take me to a bus station?” Again the tears started and Sam sat down on your bed. He put his hand on your arm. You cried harder.

“Why Y/N why are you acting like this?” You sat up and wiped your face.

“The last time I went to school was when I snuck out of my house to go. When my father found out he dragged me home and beat me til I passed out. When I woke up he told me he loved me and that I needed to follow his rules. I was in 7th grade. 7th grade! So yeah I have been acting up! But I can’t go to high school I don’t know shit!” Dam sat down on your bed while Dean chose to stand. Sam put his hand on your arm.

“Look Y/N enough is enough. No more acting out like this. For now until we find another way to get you an education you don’t have to go to public school.” You nodded unable to show much more emotion.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Dam nodded but Dean let out a laugh.

“Oh Y/N if you think a little attitude would drive us off you are wrong. More wrong than sauce on a steak.” Sam laughed at the comment and you let a grin show.

After about 30 min you left your room to shower. You grabbed your towel but completely forgetting clothes. It was too late once you realized this. You were already done with showering and had the towel wrapped tight around your body. The bunker was big there was hardly a chance you would run into someone. Wrong. About halfway to your room you ran smack into the guy from earlier. His hair blonde and eyes brilliant.

“I uh I’m sorry I didn’t see you!” He apologized profusely.

“I’m Y/N.” You put on a fake confident smile.

“I uh I’m Jack.” This time you have him a genuine smile. You walked around him still clutching your towel. As you arrived in your room butterflies became prominent. He was flat out delicious.

Part 3???

Jack x reader???

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