#i want to have more dean smith in my life but tone down the 'jesus christ sera just call him a slur already' energy of the original episode

[fuckspn]

the thing is i would actually be really into an au where dean smith and sam wesson are actual people and not just imaginary personas created by zachariah and they go ghost hunting together but “au where dean and sam aren’t related” sounds like catnip for closet w*ncesties and i don’t want them anywhere near my great idea

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

In the Company of Anne Sexton

PART THREE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: plentiful pop culture references, mentions of violence, a slow burn at its core

Word Count: 3K

Summary: After a fist-fight, Jess invites himself on a carriage ride with Ella during the Bracebridge Dinner.

Thumbing through one of her most beloved copies of Virginia Woolf, Ella sat on the steps of Stars Hollow High waiting anxiously for Lane to emerge. They walked out most every day, with Lane on her way home and Ella on her way to the diner, but Lane had informed her during lunch she would have to stop by the cheerleading coach’s room for some secret business. Ella didn’t bother asking any questions, having seen the rabid excitement in Lane’s eyes. She had a feeling she would get let in on whatever was going on soon enough. Maybe even that evening, as she, Rory, Lane, and Lorelai had their annual viewing of It’s A Wonderful Life planned. Then, possibly, Die Hard. Usually, though, they just ended up talking through Bruce Willis’ quest. Snow blanketed the ground, but had grayed in the two days since it had fallen. There had been no melt, and street sweepers had cast it off in large, rocky clumps. Ella wondered at how magical snow looked falling, and what a nuisance it became in its aftermath. Like the happiness of a new marriage and the pain of a divorce. She was just getting to one of her favorite passages in To the Lighthouse when she heard the roar of a crowd growing on the lawn before her.

Looking up with curious hazel eyes, she found a group circling two boys in the midst of a fist fight. She only needed a moment longer to identify Jess as the aggressor in the center of the swarm of teens, though the other boy was holding his own perfectly well. Without thinking, she shoved her book in her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and running over, careful not to slip on the icy patches in her black Doc Martens.

“Jess!” she called, pushing her way through the hoard of pubescent teens. Obviously, she got no response, but that wasn’t exactly the intent of the exclamation in the first place. Her feet carried her farther into the brawl before her mind could stop them, and soon enough she had Jess by the shoulders, pulling him away. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

He squirmed in her grasp, wondering who’d had the nerve to touch him. Eventually she took him around the waist and pried him away from his opponent, who was panting and bleeding from one lip. The crowd began to dissipate almost instantly, victims of a short attention span, though a few stragglers remained. Ella’s heart pounded in her chest and she felt a little sick to her stomach at the sight of the violence. Her veins buzzed with adrenaline, though she had only been involved in a small fraction of the action.

“Get off me!” Jess yelled, still not entirely sure who had grabbed him, but able to deduce it was a girl from the height and the feminine quality of the voice. When he fought though, the rest of the world usually became nothing more than a blur but the person in front of him.

When they were far enough away from the other guy and she felt mostly confident the incident was over, she finally released him, though he was larger than her and she had been hanging on by a thread anyway.

“Jesus, Jess!” she shouted when he finally turned around to look at her.

“Eleanor?” he asked, shocked to find her there.

A startling anger raged in his eyes. What concerned her more, though, was the bruise already blooming on the apple of his cheek and his bloodied knuckles. The dichotomy before her had her stomach doing flips. She’d heard plenty about this side of Jess, but had never had the misfortune of seeing it before. His hair was mussed up, and his lips were pressed in a thin line. The smirk she always found was gone, as was the joking air in his voice.

She went against her better judgement and took a step forward, eyes on his injuries.

“Back off!” Jess snapped immediately, beginning to leave. She recoiled at his volume.

But, her voice followed him up the road as he made his way for Luke’s. He hoped to sneak past his uncle without having to endure an interrogation. “I’m trying to help you, jackass! What the hell was that?!”

“Peter Smith’s an asshole, that’s what that was! Now, I suggest you run along!”

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, Jess, you don’t get to walk away from me! Rory just reamed you for that stunt you pulled at Doose’s! I thought you were gonna get it together for Luke!”

“Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint!” Jess roared, winded but maintaining his fury.

As she swallowed down her irritation, the redness began to drain from her face. She knew it was no use to argue with him when he was in such a fiery state. For a minute, she debated leaving, going back to find Lane as she planned. Instead, she grabbed his wrist and spoke again in a calm, resigned tone.

“Jess, stop.”

He whipped around to face her again, pulling his arm back from her grasp, hiding a wince at the throbbing pain in his raw knuckles. “Don’t touch me right now!”

Ella held her hands up in surrender instantly, though she stood firm. “Okay. I’m sorry. But you’re not gonna get past Luke like this, if that’s what you’re thinking. You’re gonna need to at least cool off a little first.”

Sighing through his nose, he stayed silent. At that moment, it was as good as a verbal concession or agreement. He was just beginning to catch his breath, his pulse thumping loudly in his ears.

“You wanna go get some ice? I’m sure the nurse has some,” she offered, and Jess felt his confusion growing at her kindness.

He shook his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets despite the pain. “No.”

“Alright. Look, I’ll go clock in. I’ll tell Luke you had some test to make up or something. Go fix yourself up somewhere and you might be able to fool him,” she suggested, working out the kinks inside her head. Luke was a good guy, but he wasn’t the most observant person she knew. She suspected if Jess could get the bleeding to stop he might get by unscathed. Though she was more doubtful about the bruise on his cheek, she decided it was better for Jess to be placated before he returned to work anyway.

Jess nodded as Ella turned back to go find Lane. She felt slightly better, but still a little anxious about the possibility of a fight between Jess and Luke which still remained. It was one thing to work with them when they were at their usual level of bickering. She didn’t know if she could handle an entire shift of them screaming at each other.

“Thank you,” Jess muttered when she turned on her heel, only just loud enough for her to hear.

She sighed a little in relief, tossing a glance at him over her shoulder. “You’re welcome.”

.   .   .

Ella licked the last bit of melted marshmallow from her thumb, having eaten more than a few of the s’mores they had prepared with skewers over the stove burner. Instead of Die Hard, they had elected for the 1950s version of A Christmas Carol. They were watching as the ghost of Christmas future showed Scrooge his own grave. Lorelai sat above her on the couch, french-braiding her hair, while Lane and Rory shared a bag of chips on the floor next to her. Ella loved the Gilmore house, with its homey decor and welcoming atmosphere. Many times, she envied Rory for the kind of mother she had. All times, Ella felt more love in the Gilmore house than in the Stevens house.

“What do you want written or your gravestone?” Lane asked, her eyes trained on the screen, the picture reflecting back on her glasses.

Humming thoughtfully, Ella went with the first idea that popped in her head: “Here lies Ella Stevens, soon to become the world’s best ghost.”

“An award-winning haunter,” Lorelai quipped.

“My biggest, most long-term ambition,” Ella agreed. Soon, her hair was done and Lorelai tied it off with a proud smile.

“Okay, Rapunzel, my work here is complete,” she said.

“Thank you.”

“Well, now that that’s over with, let’s hear it,” Lane demanded, turning at a ninety degree angle to face Ella expectantly.

Ella furrowed her brows. “What?”

“What happened with Jess? You yelled at each other in the courtyard today, right?” Rory asked.

“Nothing happened,” she assured them. “I simply suggested he could wait for his knuckles to clot before he tried to fly under Luke’s radar. Unfortunately, it was an uphill battle. Once he saw his purple cheek, Luke dragged him up to the apartment by his collar. But, he was back down in one piece fifteen minutes later. Wasn’t too catastrophic.”

“That kid is bad news,” Lorelai groaned, shaking her head. “He’s got Sid Vicious written all over him.”

Scoffing, flopped down on the carpet, staring up at the ceiling. “Really? I see him more as a Richard Hell type.”

“Well, that makes me feel better,” Lorelai mocked. “I’m serious, Ella, that is a screwed-up, angry kid. The vandalism, the fighting. He touches a hair on your head, and I will personally organize a whole torches and pitchforks event.”

“We can make it like a parade,” Rory suggested cheerfully. “And then Dean can punch him as a big finale. They can’t stand each other.”

“You guys have gotta calm down. We work together, that’s all,” she reasoned. “I only helped him out to avoid a major migraine. The grunting I’ve gotten used to, but man when Luke gets going…”

“Tell me about it,” Lorelai grumbled. “Just promise me you won’t be wooed by that unwashed miscreant.”

Rolling her eyes at the dramatics, raising her right hand and holding down her pinky with her thumb. “Scout’s honor.”

.   .   .

Twirling her key ring around her finger once for good luck, Ella made her way up the path to the Independence Inn, Doc Martens crunching through the packed white snow. The storm had come and gone, but the damage was done all over New England. The fancy invitees for the annual Bracebridge Dinner were snowed in, so Ella had the pleasure of being invited in their place. She was almost excited, having the opportunity to dress up and her old junker out, since she usually walked everywhere. Opening the giant french doors, she was enveloped in the Inn’s warmth, and she could smell the extravagant dinner cooking already. It made her stomach growl. Her cheeks pinked up pleasantly, and she shed her peacoat almost immediately. She smoothed down the front of her simple black dress, stealthily looking at her patterned tights to make sure they hadn’t sustained any runs or rips since she’d donned them an hour earlier. So far, she’d been successful.

“Ella!” Rory greeted her cheerfully, her voice like a bell chiming in the busy noises around them.

“Ah, it’s been so long!” Ella joked, rushing up to Rory and Lorelai, giving them hugs.

“So, no plus ones I take it?” Lorelai asked, looking at the girl who stood with only the shoulder bag she used to carry school books and her jacket in one of her hands.

Ella smiled thinly, shaking her head. A bashful lilt came into her voice. “No, I invited them. My little brother actually was gonna come and then this afternoon...”

“Well, that just means no one will be hogging you tonight!” Lorelai cut in, sunshine in her voice. It made Ella’s smile grow wider and into one more genuine.

.   .   .

Descending the stairs after unpacking in her room, she caught sight of most everyone else arriving. She had the habit of being early to everything. Equipped with only her jacket in her arms, which included a volume of Anne Sexton poetry in one of the pockets, she felt a wave of anxiety. It wasn’t exactly shyness, only uneasiness. It seemed everyone in the room had a partner, but she’d come alone. There were two beds in her room, and one would remain entirely untouched. Not that bringing Adam along was the ideal situation anyway, her little brother had actually become kinda funny after entering middle school. He wouldn’t have been the worst possible company. In a crowd full of friends and family, she felt so utterly alone.

Lane arrived eventually, along with her mother. Mrs. Kim was not the biggest fan of Ella, what with her dark makeup and clothing, her unsavory homelife. Over the years, however, she’d earned a bit more credit with Lane’s mother due to her grades and time working at the diner. Ella marveled at the beautiful floral arrangements and mahogany adornments, wandering around mostly silent while Rory and Lorelai rushed around, finalizing things and greeting people. Her eyes roamed over the crowd, and she spotted Luke and Jess arriving at the door. Jess’s big brown eyes caught her own. He offered her a teasing wave, and she smirked in response, nodding a little. After a moment under his gaze, she let her eyes fall as her cheeks warmed, and she felt at the chain around her neck as a reflex.

.   .   .

Sniffing slightly in the frigid air, Ella bit her lip as she ran her eyes over the familiar words of Sexton’s poetry, waiting as the many carriages of horses peeled away. Watching Rory squish into a carriage with Dean and his little sister had been entertaining, but she had felt some shameful envy nonetheless. The seat next to her just looked so empty. But she only sighed, turning back to her reading after marveling at the beauty of the sparkly, frozen nature around her. In all honesty, she had no interest in going on a pathetic carriage ride alone, but Rory and Lorelai had gone to so much trouble, who was she to deny the opportunity? She barely noticed when the horses began trotting along, the winter wonderland of Stars Hollow passing her slowly.

“Eleanor!” she heard, jumping slightly but rolling her eyes. There was pretty much only one person in Stars Hollow who called her by her full name. Before she could even look to see his face, Jess hopped in the carriage from the side, nearly stumbling but ending up impossibly smooth.

“What the hell, Jess?!” she exclaimed, marking her place in her book with an old receipt from Doose’s.

“Gotta keep you on your toes, don’t I?” he drawled, cracking his usual crooked smirk.

Sighing, Ella mirrored his smile in spite of herself, running a nervous hand through the ends of her hair. “No, actually, I don’t think that’s a requirement.”

“Exactly. It’s one of many perks of associating with me.” Jess put on thick gray gloves as they spoke.

She scoffed. “Yes, I’m so honored, Mariano.”

“You should be.”

Ella chuckled breathily, clearing her throat as a pause stood between the two of them. Her eyes lingered on the bruise on his cheek, nearly invisible, having yellowed over the three days since he’d sustained it.

“Pretty, aren’t I?” he asked.

She blushed, looking away as her face dropped. “Sorry.”

Jess furrowed his brows, losing his teasing air. “It doesn’t hurt.”

Nodding, she sat up straighter and trained her view on the scenery.

“Look, I didn’t mean to scare you the other day,” he said, tilting his head to try to catch her eyes again.

“Don’t flatter yourself. You didn’t...you don’t scare me,” she assured him, forcing her tone to remain light. She felt as though they might be dancing around a forbidden subject, she just didn’t know what it was.

“Okay. Didn’t mean to be presumptuous,” he said, leaning back in the cushioned seat of the carriage. The clomping of the horses hooves offered a rhythmic undercurrent to their conversation, soft but constant.

Raising her eyebrows, she finally turned back to him. “Well, you didn’t mean to be presumptuous but you were still being presumptuous.”

“Alright, sorry,” he said, slightly huffy, eyes wide and gloved hands raised in surrender.

“Apology accepted.”

“I’m happy we sorted that out, then.” His tone was dejected but she didn’t let it rile her.

“Me too,” she breathed slowly, watching a white cloud form in the air with her words.

Regarding her as she turned away again, Jess tasted the crisp frost of the wind.  One side of her hair was pinned back, the rest cascading down her shoulder. She wore dark eye makeup and something shiny on her lips. But still, she was bundled in her old black peacoat. It reminded him of the beatniks. All she needed were big square glasses. He noticed how thin her stockings were, how she lacked gloves or a scarf or a hat. Just looking at her made him unconsciously.

“Are you here by yourself?” he asked. “Anne Sexton keeping you company?”

“I am. And she is. Did Luke drag you along?”

Jess shrugged. “Sort of. It’s better than a night of scraping greasy plates at the diner.”

“What high standards you have,” she said. “Are you scraping plates over winter break or are you going back to New York?”

“My mom didn’t want me up there,” he said nonchalantly.

“She said that to you?” she asked, eyebrows raised angrily.

They were passing the town square, decorated with snowmans for the town competition. At night, to Ella, they looked like the blue ghosts in a Charles Dickens story.

“Luke told me it was his idea that I should stay. It wasn’t his idea.”

Humming in irritated acknowledgement, she crossed her arms tighter around herself. Her ears were going numb in the icy winter breeze. “Well, if it makes you feel better, I’ll be at work everyday the next two weeks, silently protesting everyone else’s holiday cheer. You’re welcome to join.”

Jess smiled. “Will there be complaints of all the noise, noise, noise?”

“Every year.” She nodded in commiseration, a sardonic twinkle in her eye.

“Looking forward to it.”

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 2 Part 3

Enjoy :)

Liam Friday December 8

Lunchtime was almost over. Liam was thinking about Theo the ogre while Nick finished his fries. (One quick question : where did Theo hide the corpse he was eating ?). (He was an ogre for sure, because he definitely had fattened Pete, and soon, the blond boy would be gone forever). (Or not, but it didn't prove Theo was human for all that).

"Jesus, are you listening to me ?"

Liam blinked, surprised. He turned towards the guy who talked to him. I saw him somewhere...

"I asked you already three times if you remember me ?" asked the stranger.

He was blond, with scary brown eyes. Not particulary muscular, neither skinny. I know I talked with him this week but I can't place where.

"Sorry man, but Liam is a bit dreamy." spoke Nick. "He probably doesn't even remember what he just ate."

(This was a shocking exaggeration, he took a pizza.) (Or was it pasta ? Damnit).

"Whatever, I'm Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. We met at the pool the other day. I kicked you and all, do you recall ?"

Oh. Yeah. Or not. Apparently, he had some memories issues.

"Yeah, hi Damian." he lied anyway. "What's up ?"

The guy looked at him with a mix of amazement and anger. What did I do this time ?

"I'm Damian. Nicholas. Smith-Carrey." repeated the blond lad slowly. "Not Damian."

Nick swallowed somes fries, fascinated by their conversation.

"Isn't it the same ?" asked Liam. "I mean, I can call you Nicholas if you prefer. Or Dami ?"

The other almost made himself hoarse. He took a moment, and inhaled deeply.

"Okay, you're definitely a freak." he whispered. "Anyway, look, I don't want to lose any time so... Do you want to come with me at this big party this saturday ?"

"I'm sorry, I'm working during weekend evenings." replied Liam. "Plus, I'm not into party that much."

Dami looked at him for a moment. Maybe I have a spot on my face ? This whole discussion was weird. (Dami seemed to be a good guy tho).

"Forget it." this latter eventually said. "Bye."

And he left as fast as he came.

Then, Nick and Liam went to class. The afternoon passed quite fast. Once the last lecture over, they reached their flat. The chesnut boy called his bestfriend before going to sleep (At 8pm, yes, but whatever). He related his day, and when he mentionned the weird talk he had at noon, Nate remained silent for a while.

"What's wrong buddy ?" Liam worried. "Are you attacked by an ogre or somethin' ?!"

"No but... Do you realise Damian just invited you on a date ?"

A what ? That couldn't be possible. Someone asked him out ? Just like that ? No, that's too direct. We don't know each other at all. I met him what ? Two times ?

"I know what you're thinking." laughed Nate. "And maybe you're right. Maybe the man just invited you for a party because you're so damn famous when it comes to partying. Or maybe he just asked every stranger he had encoutered this week to come ? Who knows ?"

"That's more plausible." agreed Liam.

His bestfriend sighed.

"Look, Gwendoline is waiting for me but, promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"Of course. I promise."

Why people thought he was likely going to do something silly ? He wasn't clumsy or whatever, was he ? Anyway, he hung up and went to bed.

"That's my fuckin' bedroom !" yelled Nick. "Go in yours for god sake !"

Rebecca Saturday December 9

When Emilio had told her it would be a huge party, she never expected this. The biggest fraternities and sororities organised it together each year. The event took place at the main hall of the university. Apparently, they had the Dean's permission thanks to his grandson, or something like that. Rebecca arrived late, because she had trained with Bob until 9pm. So, when she got there, she saw people eveywhere. Some were drunk, some were high. Most of them were only starting. She glanced couples having sex in the park next to the facility. That's what I call a fuckin' orgy. Her boyfriend had texted her his location, but she couldn't find him. Where the hell he went ? The black girl searched for a long time before she ran into Chelsea.

"Hi Rebbie !" this one yelled. "Having fun ?!"

"Not really ! I'm looking for Emilio ?!"

They were all screaming in this cacophony.

"I saw him like two minutes ago heading towards the dance stage !"

"Thanks !"

Rebecca went inside. Wow, what the fuck is that smell ? The music was more than loud. Her eardums were bleeding. But she saw him. Emilio. Surrouned by two girls heavily drunk. One kissing him, the other way too close to his ass. The hell is he doing ?

"The real nature of people is shown at parties." said someone.

She turned and saw Matthew. The guy wasn't mocking her, he didn't seem happy with what they were watching.

"Sorry. I'm used to this but you're only discovering this part of him."

The black girl looked again at Emilio. It wasn't an accident, he clearly was kissing that girl. Even worst, he also started to kiss the other.

"He's drunk." she said. "He's not controlling his actions."

"Oh yeah, and you feel better now that you found this lame excuse ? Tell me miss, why aren't you over there yelling at him ? Or at least make him stop ?"

She didn't know what to say. In a way, he was right. Even drunk, Emilio shouldn't do that. And she was supposed to be angry. But she was just... like sad. Disappointed maybe ?

"Look, Emilio had always tons of girl around him." stated Matthew. "It's in his nature you know ? I think you deserve better than him. C'mon, let's ignore him. Come with me and Chelsea, you'll have fun, I promise."

I don't understand this dude. He was mean like one month ago and now... Whatever, she didn't came at the party to think. She nodded and followed him.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Saturday December 9

Pasta's place was very well known across the town to be the best restaurant. The owner, Mrs. Liliano, got a secret way to make pasta that people just loved. The Dean's grandson never expected this weird little freshman to work there. But he did. And that was why he declined the invitation to the party. Usually, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was more sublte with his preys. But he had quickly realised this one was special. Very special. And tonight, there was the biggest party of december. Summer, that idiotic whore, had been organising it since September. It was the perfect occasion to learn a bit more about Liam. But first, they had to go at the party, obviously. The Dean's grandson entered in Pasta's place with this goal in mind. He went straigh to the counter.

"Look who's here." grinned a cold voice. "Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. I never expected to see you again."

Strong voice, sweet tone. A bit agressive when she said my name. I love when she says it. Damnit, that's hot.

"Hey Judith." he smiled. "Nice to meet you too. How are you ?"

It was a bit hyprocritical. Judy was one year older, and he had met her when he was a freshman. She was one of the very first prey he had hunted in college. She had earned her place in his DVD number 1, with his special favorites. Also, she did fellatio quite well.

"Better when you're not here." she answered curtly. "What do you want ?"

Funny story. When he had ditched her, she had gone a bit mad. She hadn't appreciated when he had got bored of their routine. She had gone through a supposed break-down and had left the university to work with her mother, the famous Mrs. Liliano.

"I need you to free Liam asap. He and I are going to a party."

Judy frowned.

"No way. You're not putting your dirty hands on this sweet guy. Not on my watch."

That was a bit predictable. This resentful hooker gave him bad intention all along.

"Look, I'm sure we'll go through this." he assured. "For example, you could let Liam come with me and in exchange... We bang together here and there. That wouldn't be the first time we use your restaurant for something else than eat food."

"Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey, you're disgusting."

"How long since the last time you had sex ?"

"Centuries. Fuck you. I'll go get him. But be nice."

"I'm always nice."

They arrived at the party only around 11pm. It was mainly Liam's fault. This guy took an eternity to change, and another to walk to here. At least he agreed to come... Even if he seems a bit off. He was just watching around him, but not really watching. It was like walking with a living doll. I wonder how he manages to find his path in his daily life.

"Dami, is that Theo over there ?"

This. Is. Not. My. Fucking. Name. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey did his best to not punch this insolent freshman. He glanced at the direction Liam's showed. Indeed, he recognized Theo, with two fatties. One ex-swimmer and a footballer if he recalled right. Greedy bastard.

"We should save them before he..." whispered Liam.

"Before he what ?"

The chesnut guy lowered his eyes and mumbled something so low only god heard. What's his problem again ? This guy is a real weirdo. Simple-minded like he was, the Dean's grandson could probably led him in his bed in the next hour. But I feel something odd. No, I know he'll decline an invitation to have sex. And I don't know why. That's troublesome.

"Liam, I'm inclined to help you, but only if you tell me what's the matter ?"

"I think Theo will ate them both..." he stammered.

Jeez. I must be hallucinating. Did he think Theo was a cannibal ? In fact, it wasn't that absurd but... What the fuck ?

"Sorry Dami, I'm bothering you. I'm really dozy."

"My name is Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey." corrected the blond lad.

"It's what I said."

Fucking god what did I do to deserve such a moron ? Damnit, why can't this dumbass asshole says my whole name like every fucking one else ? What's wrong with him ? Is he broken ?

"Just go to sleep." decided Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey (you see, easy name). "I'm done for tonight."

Liam thanked him and left just like that. And I did all this for nothing. Fucking nothing. He still had half the night to spend. Let's go back to Judy. I could use her skills for fellatio right now.

To be continued

Well... This part is focused on Liam/Damian’s relationship and you can tell it won’t be easy for the hunter. Not easy to catch someone as special as Liam !

As for Rebecca, she’s about to discover something about their college... What exactly Matthew wants ? And how Emilio’ll justify himself ?

See you soon for the next part !

[crzcorgi]

Changes

John Winchester Love Week fanfiction

John Winchester x Reader (Y/N) eventually

Words~1800

Warnings ~ language

What happens when a stay at an ordinary motel turns extraordinary?

 I was afraid to go to sleep. Yes, a grown man fucking scared of his dreams. Dreams that have haunted me since that day. Dreams of her, my wife, my boys mother. The woman who was ripped from our lives, from our hearts, by some unknown entity, a monster. That I swore I would hunt down even if it takes me a lifetime.

 Revenge, it’s what fueled me. That and keepin’ my boys safe. Safe from things out there that until my Mary’s death I never knew existed. They were after us, I didn’t know why, but I knew it. My Dean, my Sammy, Mary’s boys, I had to keep them safe.

 So here I sat at the rickety motel table, pouring myself another whiskey, and trying to drink the nightmares away. Every night, those dreams never giving me a rest.

   “Dad?”

 “Whatta you doing’ up Dean? Go back to sleep buddy, you’ve got school in the morning.”

 He walked over to me, shuffling his bare feet. God help me if he didn’t look a bit more like Mary every time I looked at him. He came over and just looked up at me from under his eyelashes. “I had a bad dream again.”

 Fuck.

 It’s one thing for me to go through this living nightmare. But my boy, Jesus, God, Mary, whoever is listening, why do my boys have to suffer? I sighed.

“Come here son.”

 He walked closer to me, close enough for me to pick him up in my arms. I pulled him tightly to my chest, his head snuggling under my chin. I slowly rubbed my hand up and down his back, placing a kiss on the top of his head.

 “I miss momma.”

 Shit

 “I do too buddy. I do too.”

  After awhile I realized he had fallen asleep, I slowly  stood up and carried him across the room. I carefully placed him back beside his little brother in their shared bed. I hesitated, just watching them sleep. I then climbed in beside my oldest, his arm coming up and draping over me.

 Maybe this could be a restful, dreamless, night.

  “Daddy! Daddy!!”

 I woke up to a bright light and a tiny body sitting on my chest.

 “You gots to get up, De gotta go!” Sammy was now poking at my face. I reached down and began tickling his sides, little peals of laughter coming forth from him. Between giggles he spoke, “Daddy! Stop Daddy, you gots to get weady!”

 I picked him up, placing him beside me as I sat up. “Alright dude, I’m up. Can you get dressed on your own?”

 “I’s fwee” He held up 4 fingers, contemplating if that was right. “I knows how to get dwessed!” He sounded indignant, making me silently snicker.

 I stood up, walking to towards the bathroom. Reaching the doorway, I saw the door was open and no Dean to be seen.

 I turned to see Sammy rummaging through his duffle. “Sammy, do you know where your brother is?” It wasn’t like him to disappear, he knew he had to ask permission before leaving the room.

 “He says not to tell you, but…” He wouldn’t look at me.

 Damn it Dean.

 “Sammy, it’s okay, you can tell me bud.”

 “He needs to do somefing for school. The nice lady in da ofwice is helping him.”

 Shit, he needs to tell me these things.

 “Okay, son, can you get dressed and stay here until I get back? I’ll lock the door. Maybe put on a cartoon?”

 “I cans do dat Daddy!”

 I hurried out the door, making sure it was locked, taking off for the office. Reaching the door, I opened it, stepping inside to an empty room.

 “Hello?” No answer. I walked up to the counter and rang the bell.  I turned to look out the window, swinging back around when I heard the shifting of the curtain hanging behind the desk.

   “I’m so sorry, I’m kinda busy back there, I don’t usually leave the desk, just helping a little…”

  Suddenly Dean appeared from behind the curtain, interrupting the woman. “Dad, I’m sorry, don’t be mad. Miss y/n was just helping me with my school project that’s due today.”

 I wanted to be mad, wanted to grab my boy and take him back to our room and ream him out. But I couldn’t. I was fucking mesmerized by this woman standing here. She had long y/h/c, beautiful y/e/c and a smile that made me wanna smile right back.

 Fuck.

 “Mr. Winchester, correct? I’m sorry, I thought you knew Dean was here. I volunteer in his classroom and offered to help him with his project. I do apologize.” She looked at me and I fucking melted.

I was in trouble.

 Dean stepped around the desk carrying what looked like an odd shaped box. “It’s a pyramid Dad! Y/N helped me make it.”

 I looked away from my unabashed starring to take a hold of Dean’s “pyramid” “Nice job buddy, did you thank Mrs…?”

 “He did, he’s a very polite young man. And it’s just y/n, and I’m not married.” I was smiling at her like a fucking teenager. Shit, I can’t do this. But there was something about her, the unexplained draw towards her, I’d never felt it before.

 I cleared my throat, “Well, thank you, y/n, very much. I, uh, my job, it makes it hard for me to, uh, help Dean with his schoolwork.” I couldn’t stop smiling at her. “So, really, thank you, it’s very much, um, appreciated.”

  “It’s no trouble at all Mr. Winchester, I understand all about a job keeping you from your children.” She looked down, her demeanor quickly switching, “all too well.”

 I missed her smile. “Just call me John,” She looked up at me, her beautiful smile returning. “Dean, lets go pick up Sammy and get you to school.”

 Dean turned and ran over to y/n, his arms sliding around her, giving her a tight hug. “Thank you y/n.”  Seeing my boy hugging a woman other than my Mary, his mom, fuck, I didn’t know what I was thinking, it was a mix of emotions. But the one that seemed to be most dominant wasn’t anger or sadness, which if I witnessed this a month ago would have been the definite answer. No, it was a feeling of warmth, something that felt like hopefulness. Something like home.

  “Okay Dean, you go get your baby brother.” She had moved her hands up to lightly grasp his head, placing a gentle kiss on the crown. Dean turned, starting to walk away. “Oh wait!” She gasped out. “I’m heading to the school in just a bit, would you like to ride with me Dean? If your dad says it’s okay?” She smiled at me, her head tipping to the side slightly.

 “Can I dad, please?” Dean looked up at me, giving me his brother’s patented puppy dog eyes.  

 “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” I looked over to y/n, watching her smile fade. And feeling like shit. I just couldn’t trust, not even someone that affected me the way she seemed to. But I’m sure she just thought I was a jackass.

  “Aww, come on dad!”

  “It’s okay Dean, I’ll see you at school anyway!” She tried to smile, I’m sure for his sake.

  “Okay.” He answered in a gruff tone, pushing past me and out the door.  

 “Dean! Don’t give your dad a hard time!” She yelled after him, sighing. “I’m sorry John.”  

 I wasn’t sure what to say it felt kinda awkward. “Uh, thanks for that, it’s just,” She had walked around the desk and was now standing beside me, her small hand landing on my arm.

  “It’s okay, I get it.” The way she looked at me, it was like we were sharing a secret. It confused me. Did she know what I did? But how could she? Did Dean slip up? No, he wouldn’t. One thing I was sure of, I was enjoying her warm hand on my arm more than I should have.

 Removing her hand from my arm she looked at me and smiled. “You need to grab your boys and I need to see where my sister is. Please tell Dean that he did a wonderful job on his pyramid and I will let Ms. Smith how hard he worked on it.”

 I grinned, I know I didn’t let him know nearly enough, but I was damn proud of that boy. He’s been through so much in his short life and yet he perseveres. Most days I feel like the shittiest fuck-up of a parent, the life I’ve forced my boys into. Yeah, I can blame that monster that took their mom. But the end of the day it’s my decision, my choice. So listening to y/n praise him, it meant I might be doing something right in how I’m teachin’ them.

  “Yeah, yes, I gotta go, but um, thank you again. It’s much appreciated. I don’t know if Dean told you but it’s just us men, their mom, my wife, she…” I choked up, trying not to get fucking emotional in front of her.

 “It’s okay John, I understand, truly.” She had stepped closer again, no hand on me this time, but a sad smile, and a look of understanding. “Hey, I don’t know what your plans are, or where your job will take you today. But I have a stew in the crock pot and I know it is way too much for just my sis and me, maybe you and your boys can join us? It’s not much but it’ll get you men out of that tiny room, not that our apartment is that much bigger.” She giggled, making me feel warm.

 My brain wanted to decline her kind offer. But my mouth had other plans and I just fucking blurted out, “Yeah, that sounds great, I’m sure Sammy would love something besides spaghettios. And Dean would wanna kick my ass if I said no.”

 “Great! I’ll be back by 4 so come on over anytime after that. If for some reason I’m not here, my sister will be.”

 I started walking towards the door. “Thank you again, y/n.”

 “No need to keep thanking me, John. Dean’s a great kid, I love spending time with him.” She moved right into my side, making me suck in a big breath. “Between you and me, most 8 year olds annoy the heck out of me, and I work with them!” She laughed, sending a chill throughout my body. “But Dean, he’s mature beyond his years, but still a kid, you know?”

 I nodded, once again feeling proud of my boy. “Well, I guess we’ll see you later then.”

 “You have a good day, John. And find yourself a bronze dagger.” She winked, turning and walking behind the desk and through the curtain.

 And left me standing there with my mouth open.