#i want to cry i just deep cleaned the house Monday to the point that my back hurt so bad

[hunny-k]

So no matter where I am I live with people who suck

[212-apricity]

mastermind, part ten

(guys i just realised i’ve had this thing marinating in my drafts for like a day i swear i posted it omg i’m so sorry anyways💀💀💀)

i go back to school on monday im literally gonna cry i cant do this any more like💀💀

anyways i just kind of wanted to say that bc its literally depressing me now but heres part ten of mastermind😍🙌🙌

i hope you guys enjoy it and i kinda hate the ending but i have too man things ti revise for in school so…

anyways love you guys😘😘😘

warnings: kinda gruesome in the beginning (like a tiny bit) and hurt/comfort but i think thats it!!

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

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His hands are frantic inside the sheets, trying to find your body. The damp hair falling into his eyes makes it difficult to see and his labored breathing isn’t helping either.

He sits up after feeling the cold side of the bed and shoves his hair back. His nightmares have only gotten worse the closer to Voldemort you get, memories from his father, leaving you, from the manor and fears of losing you plagued his mind every day. You were normally the only one to drag him from this kind of torture, keeping him close to your chest and speaking soothing phrases into his hair as your fingertips traced their own tattoos on his skin. But ever since he left that night he hasn’t felt that warmth and any progress you two had made in helping him get better was quickly washed away. Sometimes he’d be so distracted from the horrors he’d still think you were there; however even when his eyes adjust to the moonlit room you’re still nowhere to be seen, the spot on the bed empty and cold.

He throws off the blankets and grabs his wand on the desk next to the bed, frantic. He shakes the thoughts from his head. This was exactly like his nightmare, he’d awoken to discover you missing from his bed, only to find your bloody body laying on another bed.

He doesn’t even bother calling for help, his focus is on finding you, and quick.

The tent is eerily quiet tonight…or was it early morning? He couldn’t tell. He has a death grip on his wand, clenching so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He goes down the stairs, the cool air of the house causing the hair on his neck to stand and his fear grow. He tries to calm down, assume with a clean mind how and where to find you, but the nightmare was too vibrant, everytime he’d closed his eyes to try to take a chilled breath all he noticed turned into your lifeless eyes.

He can hear the crackling of the fire in the living room when he reaches the lowest of the steps, the warm light drawing him closer.

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding while he sees you curled up on the massive sofa under a warm blanket with a book in your hands. You look up on the sound, alarmed, but your eyes quickly soften once they see Theo.

He watches your eyes go from adoring to confused when you notice the wand in his hand, pointing straight at you. 

Something’s wrong. You can immediately tell by his stance, rigid and stiff, not like he always is when hes just woken up, all soft and cuddly. His hair is a mess and from where you’re sitting across the room you can see his chest heaving.

“Theo?” your stomach drops. What’s going on? Was someone hurt? You quickly throw the blanket off, ready to rush over to him when his shoulders drop with relief. He tosses the wand to the armchair next to him as he stalks forward quickly.

You walk toward him as he comes in contact with you, holding you tightly, engulfing you into him as he kisses the top of your head and buries his head in your neck. You can feel his heart racing a million miles an hour as he breathes in deep, trying to calm down before his breathing got worse.

You tuck him into yourself, dropping the book you were reading to the floor beside you as your hand immediately finds his back, beginning your path, soothing circles into the firm muscle, the other carding through his wet and tangled hair. He pulls away for a second, eyes erratically scanning over you like they’re checking for wounds. And maybe they are, maybe he just needs to know that you are unharmed and in one piece, unlike whatever he had witnessed in his sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You murmur when his heart rate has slowed down. His grip on you is still tight, clinging to you. If there was something wrong with Harry, Hermione or Ron or an attack on your tent he would’ve said already. You hadn’t completely forgiven Theo for that night but your heart still pangs with guilt for not being there for him when he tore himself from the nightmare, that while he was in pain, you were sitting here reading comfortably.

He shakes his head. Maybe not now, but tomorrow, when it’s not as fresh he’ll let you know what transpired in his terror, what shook him to his very core.

“It burns,” he says, pointing to his mark. You move your hands from their place on his back and trace the skin around the mark, providing relief that courses through his body.

For now though, on the comfortable sofa in the sitting room, he nestled closer to you, letting your hands soothe him back into a peaceful slumber.

For the first time in months, Theodore Nott had finally found comfort being back in your arms.

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The next day, Hermione and Ron had made milkshakes, chocolate and strawberry. They had also made a massive mess in the kitchen with their incessant arguments.

These were the only times you’d get to enjoy some times with your friends, you’d discover.

You sat on the kitchen counter next to Theo as he made burgers and fries for the two of you, the other three had left after finishing their milkshakes to talk to Mr. Lovegood.

“No add extra cheese on mine, it’ll taste good.” You added from your place up high, sipping the shake as Theo nods and says,

“Yes ma’am,”

Before walking over to the fridge to get extra cheese slices out to put in your burger.

“Do you think things would’ve been different if we hadn’t had this whole war?” You speak up, inturrepting the music in the background.

“In what sense?” Theo asks, plating the food.

“Like…do you think we would’ve still like…” you stall trying to find the polite words as Theo raises his eyebrows, looking confused.

“Hooked up, there I said it.” You say rolling your eyes at his laughter over your choice of words.

“Oh my gosh baby,” He says between laughs as you eventually join in, “Yes! Of course we would’ve. What, do you think it took a war for me to come back to you? I would’ve come anyway, there’s no way I’m letting you go like that. Wouldn’t have left anyways. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you but you’re it for me Y/n. You’re it.”

His watercolour eyes stare deeply into yours as he comes closer, the food and laughter long forgotten as you engulf him in a hug as he apologies again for leaving. His apologies are unending, as are your kisses on his neck in final acceptance.

After what feels like hours, you two finally break away from the hold as Theo brings the plates to the living room where you’ve already set up a movie and picked a place on the sofa.

You both lay next on opposite sides of the sofa, watching the movie as you eat, legs tangled together in comfort as you warm up your body with his.

“Can I have a taste of your burger?” You ask after a few minutes.

He nods and leans over and helps you take a bite of his food, he watches as your eyes light up and you smile at him sheepishly. He rolls his eyes with a grin before trading your plate with his.

“Thanks Teddy, yours tastes a million times better!” You give him a kiss on the cheek as he trades the plates and return to your movie, completely missing the adoration in Theo’s eyes at the nickname.

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It’s a few hours after and you are now comfortably napping in Theo’s arms as the movie plays in the background.

Harry, Hermione and Ron had returned ages ago but thought it’d be best to give you two some time alone.

As always, your comfort is cut short when you hear Hermione’s shrill scream, awaking you with a jolt, doing the same to Theo as he instinctively tightens his grip around you.

“What’s going on?” He asks as Ron runs in, the two of you quickly standing and grabbing your wands, “They’re back. The Snatchers are back, run!” Ron shouts as the three of you run out to help Hermione.

But she’s long gone. As is Harry.

“Ron! Theo!” You shout in panic, turning to your left to find Ron gone as well, only deepening your fear.

You shoot spells at the Snatchers until you hear, “Crucio!” from your right.

Everything’s moving too quickly and you barley have any time to react before something, or rather someone pushes you to the ground.

As you get up off the autumn leaves, wand ready to shoot at anyone in sight you see all the Snatchers disapparating. You shift your eyes down to the ground to see who had saved you from the unforgivable curse.

A sharp gasp escapes your lips as you quickly stumble to his place on the grounds, shaking and thrashing around in pain, trying to console it best he could as he claws his mark in agony and soft, painful whimpers escape his pink lips.

“No no no no no, Theo what have you done?” You whisper, straddling him and holding his face in your hands to try lessen the pain as tears escape your eyes.

“Shh, it's okay, it's okay Theo, they’re gone now, you’ll be fine.” You try comfort him, bringing his head into your chest, remembering that providing comfort is the only way to ease the cruciatus curse.

His breathing calms down after a while as you try and shield him from the cold air fluttering around you as you both cry into each others arms. Theo pulls away, staring into your eyes with his ever-captivating ones and says determinedly, “I’m not losing you. Not like this, not now, not ever. Never again, you hear me? I’ve already lost you once and I’ll be damned if I ever let you get hurt or lose you again. God baby, I just got you back I can’t let go of you now.”

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part ten done! lmk what you think and maybe repost if you want to it really helps🤡🫶🏽🫶🏽

taglist: @timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere @ama1a2 @kezibear @randomgurl2326

[mcbex]

**Who's yoke?**

Oh Rest, how I loathe you!

Last week started off with conflict. First world problems really. I've been eating a steady diet of Mom-Employee-Wife, squeeze in a little marathon training rinse and repeat. The whole thing came to a head last week when the battle became Family time VS Training time. I chose family time of course and put the training on hold until later in the day. But when you try to put 10 pounds of life into a 5 pound bag it's bound to explode on you, even if it's just a little. After all I can't be all the things I want to be or sometimes even need to be all the time.

Here's where last weeks story begins, with me crying in my car because I'd come to the end of what I could physically do. Knowing I needed more training but having nothing left give for myself. Unless you count absolute exhaustion. After several minutes of self destruction I gathered my thoughts and came to my senses... this race is not tomorrow and today (that day) I needed rest. Piles of it. I decided I would take the week off to regroup. I cleared my schedule, my brain and my life. Training plans be damned the only thing I obviously needed was an extreme pause.

I came home directly but Sunday afternoon was hard as I grappled with the idea that regardless what happened I would take the full week to decompress. Monday came and I can tell you I had to be intentional leaving the house with only lunch and a book. I was unsure. Taking intermission is not my strong suit. However settling in I found the pressure was melting away and all I really needed was to take more time.

Still Tuesday I had to take a deep breath. I packed my lunch, a book and left behind the sneakers that would help me drive back the feelings of slacking. I was successfully able to stay conscious in my choice to maintain this new goal, this strange goal of rest.

I came home Tuesday night to kids who had curiously cleaned the kitchen, started dinner and were now encouraging me back into the training program I felt I needed to ignore. My son ever so sweetly nudging me..."Mom, we've got this, go train". I listened to my boy and went for it. Feeling better and supported I had a new mind set to consider.

I spent the rest of the week thinking about resting and pressure and correlating that with what goes on inside my head. Physically and mentally I can make myself sick at times. How I react with the world in regard to these factors makes a difference in how I present myself. If I want to be a good Wife/Mom/Employee/Friend and have time for myself the right parts of me need to show up. I can't do that with out rest. Unfortunately. I kept circling back to God. His words were like a blinking street light reminding me to rest in him. His yoke, his plans, his strength. He asks us to seek refuge in him. He tells us that he may not fix it but he will see us throughout if we keep our heads and have faith in him. Sometimes just taking a deep inhale and telling him I need his help is enough of a release to help me keep my demeanor.

So after a long week of avoiding the rest I desperately knew I needed I found myself unlikely in my favorite seat on the planet.... at church. Walking in I was alone, no kids, no friends. Feeling awkward in my clothes I was lightly estrange because I hadn't been there in weeks. I let the feelings come and prayed. I'm sure you know the feeling of being out of place. I thought for a moment I should have used my time more wisely(but what is better than time in worship?). As we stood to sing and welcome in the message of the day all of it melted away. I found the rest in the Lord I had looked for all week. Rest time he offered me and showed me how to get throughout the week. It wasn't that I couldn't do all the things I wanted and needed to do. I just need clear expectations.

Have you met the extremes of yourself? The point where you come to end of what you have to give and no longer have to choose Christ because he is your only hope. Although I did not give myself the time I vowed I need, I found the mind set. I let the extreme of it wash over like a wave. I gave myself the permission I would have given anyone else. Authority to take it at my own speed, not my own perceived speed. In this process I found support from family, friends and most importantly I found Christ at the front of my ship steering me into the wave as it rushed in.

Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God,

Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Exodus 33:14 The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

[daechwitatamic]

Don't Be Scared || KTH

(banner by @itaeewon)

Complete Faith

POV Drabble #8: Don't Be Scared

WC: 2.6k

Warnings: angst, hospital visit, lots of MS talk, kissing, language

The Request:

@pamzn sorry for the delay on this one!!! I hope it delivers!

A/N: This is the second half of Chapter 10 :)

Sunday is a disaster - the worst Taehyung can remember since he was a teenager. His mother is incapacitated by the pain of her headaches, spending long hours clutching her head and crying. Not to mention that this attack - Taehyung is sure this is a full-scale MS attack, even though they don’t have the brain scans to prove it yet - has left her entire left side feeling weakened, her vision blurry.

His father had taken her to the hospital on Saturday night, but they’d treated her for the headache and sent them home again. Then on Sunday, the rest of the symptoms came on strong - the blurred, darkened vision, the weakening of her arm and leg on the left side. By Sunday night, she can barely move them at all.

He and his father beg to take her back to the hospital, but she remains stubborn, wanting to wait it out. 

“Jagiya,” Taehyung’s father says softly, voice quiet, just for her. “Let’s go, okay? We’ll get Dr. Khan to order a start to the steroids. There’s no point in suffering.”

Taehyung’s not sure why she resists - pride, maybe. But probably she just hates sitting for long hours while the IV steroids run at the out-patient section of the hospital, hates how the steroids make her too energized, to where she can’t sleep and will wake up and scrub the stovetop at three in the morning. Probably she hates how they give her a moon-face and make her act mean. (“Meanness” is literally listed as a side-effect, Taehyung looked it up when he was sixteen and thought she hated him for a few weeks.) 

On Monday morning, Taehyung’s father reluctantly gets ready for work. Taehyung hasn’t been home except to grab clean clothes since before his trip for Nikki’s birthday - he hasn’t even been able to think about all the things that happened with you since he stepped back into his childhood household, his mother’s misery eclipses everything else in his brain. 

“I’ll talk to my boss, try to get out early,” Taehyung’s father tells him. “See if you can get her to go. She listens to you.”

Taehyung lets his mother sleep as long as she’s able in the morning; when she wakes it’s clear that she’s lost all use of her left arm. This makes her cry, and that makes Taehyung’s stomach hurt. He starts calling her neurologist's office as soon as it opens; he gets put on hold and left there.

He just wants to ask an adult - a real adult - what he should do. 

Mid-morning, Taehyung decides he can’t take it anymore. “We’re going,” he tells her flatly. “I’m going to get you dressed, and we’ll leave. I’ll keep calling Dr. Khan on our way there.”

“I don’t want to just sit in the waiting room like this,” she protests. “If we wait for Dr. Khan then we can -.”

“No,” Taehyung says flatly. “At least they can give you something for the pain, even if we have to wait for the steroids.”

Behind him, from the living room, Taehyung thinks he hears his name being called. Then, once more, a little less timidly. He freezes. He knows that voice.

He rises, heads back to the living room. You look at him, bewildered, as if you can’t believe you’d just walked in uninvited. Honestly, he can’t believe it either. He’s sure you’re there to talk after everything that happened over the weekend, but he can’t right now, not when he’s deep in fix it mode with his mom. And why are you trying to talk to him during a weekday morning?

“Why are you in my house right now?” he asks. He’s already redialing Dr. Khan, ready to be put on hold until the call disconnects automatically for the fourth time that morning. “Never mind. Whatever this is, Y/N, I can’t do it right now. You need to go, now.” 

He’s not even looking at you, he’s looking at his phone. 

“Taehyung,” you say, and there’s something steely in your tone, something that tells him you’re taking no bullshit right now. “Let me help you.”

No. He almost says it. Behind him, his mother lets out a particularly pitiful sob before quieting again. The hold music on his phone starts to play. He needs to get his mother dressed and in the car. 

“Tae,” you say, whispering. “What’s going on? How can I help?”

You look scared, brows bunched together. You look like you’re about to reach out, to place gentle fingers on his shaking hands. 

“You can’t,” he snaps. He does not have the emotional capacity for this. You give him a look, crossing your arms over your chest and sticking out your chin. 

He always did love how stubborn you are.

He remembers you saying, on the day you’d left him, “when I needed you to be there and you stepped up, I let you.” Was that all he had done wrong? Was that all it would take to change fate?

Resigned, he says, “My dad got called in for a work emergency,” he tells you. “She can’t walk today. I’m trying to get her to the hospital.”

He watches your eyes widen in shock. “She can’t walk?” you parrot.

“She could yesterday, this hasn’t happened in years,” he explains. “I’m trying to get a hold of her neurologist to see if he can meet us at the hospital or-.”

“What else needs to happen?” you cut him off.

Taehyung gestures wildly. What needs to happen is a miracle, and he can’t exactly ask for that.  “I need to get her dressed and in the car. It’s hard when she can’t – her whole left side just doesn’t move when she wants it to.”

“I’ll do it,” you say, and honestly he’s never wanted to kiss you so much in his life. It’s not even a romantic thing, he’s just so damn relieved.  “Will she let me? I’ll get her ready, you call the people you need to call. Then we can get her in the car together.”

Taehyung nods, looking back at his phone, hanging up and dialing again. While you get her dressed, he walks through the kitchen and puts together the paperwork they need, finds his own wallet and keys. 

He carries his mother to the car, sets her gently in the passenger seat, helps her buckle in. You hover, holding the papers and his mother’s purse.

“I can take it from here,” he says. “Thank you for the help, but you should go back to work.”

Work. He realizes for the first time that he hadn’t remembered to call and say he was sick. 

You don’t answer him, just shake your head and climb in the backseat, buckling in and staring at him defiantly, challenging.

God, you’re so stubborn. It almost makes Taehyung smile. On a different day, it might have.

Taehyung rolls his eyes and gets into the driver’s seat. 

The rest of the afternoon is a blur. Taehyung remembers his mother getting whisked away to get imagining taken of her brain, so the hospital’s neurology team could confirm if she has an active lesion, judge the severity of it, make a decision. He remembers finally getting Dr. Khan on the phone, finally. He remembers his dad calling to say he was getting out of work within the hour and he’d come straight there.

He remembers you, listening intently as doctors spoke to him, holding his mother’s hand when they inserted an IV needle on the other hand, sitting beside him. Now and then you’d reach out and touch his shoulder gently, a nonverbal I’m here with you. You never left his side, not for a second.

“You can go home,” Taehyung tells you, once he knows his dad is on his way. “You can take my car - I'll just go home with my dad after he gets here.”

You frown at him like he’s said something offensive, and shake your head. “I’ll leave when you leave,” you say firmly. 

And who is Taehyung to argue? The next time you lean closer to his side, he reaches over and gives your shoulder a quick, thankful squeeze.

When his father arrives, the doctors fill him in. Mrs. Kim is sleeping, having received medication for the devastating headache and a round of IV steroids to calm the process that makes her limbs weak. When they release her, Taehyung helps his father get her back in the car. He watches as they drive away, and then turns to face you, feeling completely, utterly spent.

You look at him, your face softening with understanding and affection. Taehyung wonders absently when you’d started looking at him like that again. You used to, he remembers that expression well from their days at the lakehouse. After the break-up, you had barely looked at him at all, and never like this. 

“Let’s go back to your place,” you suggest. A little smile shows up on your face and you add, “You can shower and nap, I’ll order food.” It’s exactly what Taehyung had said to you, months ago, after the night your mother had gone missing, the day you’d fallen apart and he’d held you together, just like you’d done for him today. 

It was always mirrors with the two of you. Taehyung had noticed that from the start.

Taehyung feels like a robot, like he’s running on muscle-memory only. He gets you both back to his apartment, he showers, he collapses into bed. It doesn’t even occur to him to argue with you, to tell you to go home. Maybe he’s too drained to think about it. 

Maybe he likes that you’re there.

He wakes up some hours later feeling like a whole new person. He rolls onto his side, listening. He doesn’t hear any movement and wonders if you’ve gone home. He wouldn’t blame you - what’s the alternative, sitting alone in your ex’s living room while he napped behind a closed door? 

But to his surprise, he opens his bedroom door to find you sitting in the chair in the little nook he’d made for you, back when things were good between you. The fact that you’re there, specifically, and not over on the couch or something… Taehyung feels like he’s understanding something you’re saying silently. He smiles shyly, hoping he’s not wrong.

“Feel better?” you ask him, lowering your phone. “There’s take-out in the fridge.”

Taehyung realizes he hasn’t eaten today, and he’s definitely starving. But more pressing - you’re in his apartment, and you’re sitting in your nook that he made for you. 

“Amazing,” he says, and plops on the couch, his head on the arm, his legs stretched out. Despite napping, his body feels exhausted; he imagines it’s from all the adrenaline throughout the day. “What a fucking day,” he breathes.

“I’m glad it’s somewhat under control now,” you say seriously.

Taehyung snaps; he’d been holding on by the tiniest thread, and it’s over now. You’d shown up at his house unbidden, like your fucking Taehyung senses were tingling. You’d helped him through one of the hardest, scariest days he’s ever had. You’d stood by him all day, no matter how many times he told you to go home. 

And then you’d stayed, waited for him, and now you’re smiling at him so openly, like the wall you used to put up isn’t just down, it’s like it never even existed in the first place. 

He needs you in his arms now. He needs to hold you now or he’ll lose it.

“C’mere,” he murmurs. He doesn’t even have time to hope you listen before you’re up and moving. You perch lightly by his legs, looking at him expectantly. “Thank you for being there today,” he says, meaning this and so much more. Meaning this, and ‘thank you for saving me’. Meaning this, and ‘thank you for loving me, because I’m sure now that you do’. “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up. That would have been a lot harder alone.”

“Taehyung,” you say, face pale. He can see your nerves - in the slight tremble of your fingers as they rest just above your thighs, in the breathiness as you say his name. “I have something I need to say to you.”

Taehyung pulls himself up so he’s not lying down anymore. He wants to look at you, wants to be fully participating in this conversation. “I’m all ears,” he tells you.

Don’t be scared, he thinks, something he should have told you fucking months ago. Maybe it would have saved you both some strife. 

He watches you gather your bravery, squaring your shoulders and looking him right in the eyes. “Tae,” you say, and he’s done right there, he doesn’t even need the rest. It’s all in your voice, it’s all in the way the one syllable falls from your mouth, alight, like it has wings of its own. “I want to apologize. I’m sorry for letting my fear be bigger than my trust.”

Taehyung fights the urge to shake his head at you. He doesn't need an apology from you. He doesn't need you to take the blame for the break-up. He doesn't need you to care for how he’d hurt in the time you were apart.

You huff out an anxious breath and continue. “But… I do trust you. I always did. I actually… fuck, I actually love you. I’ve loved you since the lake. I think I’ve loved you since you threw a water bottle at me after we fought.”

You pause, laughing at yourself, and Taehyung just stares, pulse racing in his ears, the noise of it roaring like his heart. It’s beyond what he wanted, beyond what he needed, leagues beyond what he deserves, and he honestly just wants you to come kiss him, but you’re still talking, voice trembling.

“I remember you telling me that no one ever fought for you - no one made you feel like you’re worth the fight.” 

Taehyung remembers that, too, remembers clearly the first time he had found the words for the gnawing feeling inside him. He remembers how talking to you about it had felt like… like no one else spoke his language for his whole life, and then you walked up and spoke it fluently. 

“I’m fighting,” you say, your voice breaking, and Taehyung clenches his hands into fists to stop from reaching for you, from interrupting you. “I want to be with you. I want to choose to trust you every day. I want to choose to love you every day.”

Taehyung is sure that whatever you’re going to say next is amazing, which is a shame, because he’s pulling you by the wrist into his lap, reaching for your face, mouth finding yours as soon as it's close enough. You kiss him back eagerly, straddling his lap. His hands find your face and he knows - he knows - this is what he was waiting for all those years. 

He knows he has something special with you. He knows that it means something that you two fought through so much bullshit to get here. He knows it matters that you were there for him today, when you owed him literally nothing. He knows that it must have been terrifying for you to apologize, to throw down your walls and admit you love him. 

He knows his heart is soaring as you kiss him, knows that you’re feeling it too.

He knows he’s in love with you - fully, deeply, completely. He’s known all along.

Thank you for reading! You can find my full masterlist here :)

[tinyboxxtink]

"...So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 7*

Chapter 6

Chapter 8

Yeah I know, that last chapter was....brutal.

And I have some bad news my babies....I work non-stop the next three days, so maybe no new chapter until Monday.

But I gave you this one with a little floof, to make up for that horrible angsty chapter. But also, it's kind of short.

Worse news....it ends on a cliffhanger.

I LOVE YOU ALL DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE.

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@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

@word-scribbless

@storiesofsvu

@believinghurts

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Back At Your House

You woke up in your bed, covered in towels and one of Kylie’s pull ups taped under your underwear, along with a million other different cloths/toilet paper.

“What the fuck…?” You tried to move but realized the towels you were surrounded with were mostly covered in blood. You quickly began to panic as the more you woke up the more the pain was coming back. You tried to think of the last thing you remembered before blacking out. Billy had been pumping in and out of your ass, you were in torturous pain, and then he called-- Oh god.

You began scrambling around the bed with your arms under the sheets and comforter, looking for your phone. You could hear the shower running and Billy humming from the bathroom. He was getting off on this, the sick fuck. You couldn’t believe you had been so blind to his psychosis before this. Love is blind sure, but what the fuck?!

Finally you found your phone on the charger, but it was on your vanity across the room. You dragged yourself across the bed and leaned over the bed as far as you could, reaching for the vanity desperately.

You fell helplessly off the foot of the bed, whimpering and crying from the pain in your rectum. You were pretty sure you were still bleeding, but Billy had shoved so much toilet paper and towels up there you probably couldn’t even shit right now. Maybe for a long time.

You weakly pulled on the cord so it made the phone fall off the vanity and land in your hands. You saw you had 30 missed calls, all from Rafael. Oh thank god, he still cared about you. Worried about you.

You hit REDIAL and waited for him to answer. You looked up to the sky and started praying for him to answer before Billy got out of the shower. Finally after what felt like hours, you heard his voice. It was frantic and terrifying, he sounded like he had been crying for a long while.

“What now, Lewis? I swear to God if you FUCKING--”

“R-Rafa?” Your small, weak voice in response made him almost drop the phone in relief.

“Y/N?” He almost choked.

“Mi amor? Are you okay? Where are you? Where’s Lewis?” He rattled off the millions of questions that had ran through his mind since Billy had hung up on him. Hearing him call you amor made your whole world brighten, you wanted to weep in happiness.

“I’m--” You looked down at yourself. You were literally wearing a diaper.

“I’m outside,” He responded before you could say anything else.

“What?” You breathed deeply, pulling yourself up and limping towards your bedroom window. You could see Rafael’s car a few houses down, with the lights off.

“What are you doing?!” You hissed into the phone, glancing fearfully at the bathroom door. “You can’t be here!”

“You can’t stay here baby, you need medical help,” He said into the phone, staring at your silhouette through your window now.

“I-I can’t leave the girls,” You twirled your hair nervously.

“Baby if you’re dead you can’t help them at all!” Rafael reasoned.

Well, he did have a point. You checked the phone for the time: 11:30 pm. You had been out for hours. The girls were probably asleep, you didn’t know how much longer Billy would be in the shower.

“Look he won’t hurt them, right? You said that?” Rafael asked, knocking you back to reality.

“Raff after tonight I don’t know what he’s capable of,” You tried not to start crying again. You knew how upset he already was, if he heard you cry you knew it would send him off the edge again.

“God dammit!” You could hear him pull the phone away and violently hit the passenger's seat several times as the image of your bloody body being rammed by Lewis reverberated in his brain images.

“Rafael, calm down. Please,” You pleaded with him. “I-I don’t even know if I can make it outside,”

“Fuck,” You heard him mutter. “Then I’m coming in,”

“Rafael, don’t. Please--” But it was too late, he had already hung up. You closed your eyes and waited for the boom. You listened intently as the shower continued to run, then you heard your door open, footsteps come running down the hall.

Finally you saw him, Rafael. He scooped you up before you could say anything, grabbed some of your clean clothes out of your drawers and before you knew it you were sitting in the passenger's seat of his car, and he was speeding away from your house.

“Carino…” You felt his hand on the back of your head, rubbing your hair lovingly. “God I’m so so sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” You shook your head weakly, closing your eyes and enjoying the sensation of his skin on yours again. Even if it was just your hair.

You could smell his cologne wafting from his wrist and you placed a hand on his knee, turning your head to face him. He glanced over at you, giving you a sad smile. He put his free hand on your hand that was on his knee, then when he thought you were far enough away he pulled over to the side of the road.

“Wha---?” You looked around confused as he unbuckled his seatbelt. He unbuckled yours and then pulled you from your seat, over the gear stick into his lap.

“Rafa, what are you doing?” You cocked your head to the side like a confused puppy dog as he stroked your hair. Instead of answering your question, he pulled you into a deep, slow kiss. The complete opposite of what you had been through tonight.

“I just...I’ve wanted to do this since you left my office. Since I saw you with that gun pushed into your back. Since I saw you…” He started to cry so he looked down in shame.

You put one hand on his cheek and wiped the tears with your thumb. He put his hand over the hand on his cheek and kissed in between your thumb and first finger. You pressed your forehead against his while he tried to compose himself, then you just laid your head on his shoulder. He started to stroke your hair once more and just held you like that, basking in each other’s safeness and warmth.

“I love you,” He whispered while still holding onto you, tears still apparent in his voice. “I love you so much Y/N, I’m sorry. I will never let you out of my sight ever again,”

“I’m sorry,” You whispered into his shoulder. “I should’ve listened to you,”

“Hey,” He picked your head up and made you face him. “No, you do not apologize for ANYTHING, okay? This isn’t your fault,”

“Isn’t it?” You bit your lip while trying not to cry yourself. “I married the man, Rafael! I had kids with him, I--I would have stayed married to him if he hadn’t left!”

“But you didn’t know....” He comforted you.

“No but I should have,” You shook your head in shame at yourself.

“How could you have known that he--”

“Because my dad was like him, Rafael,” You finally admitted. You hadn’t told anyone that, not even Billy.

“....What?” You looked at him in shock, trying to make sure you heard him correctly.

“My dad, he--” You looked down at your lap in shame. “He used to beat the shit out of me and my mom,”

“....Me too,” Rafael finally admitted his own shame after a long pause.

“What?” You blinked several times. “Seriously?”

“Mmmhmm,” He nodded sadly. “Well you know when he was sober enough to hit. Sometimes he just wouldn’t come home at all. For hours, days. Finally never,”

“Oh, Raffi….” You gave a sympathetic look. “If it makes you feel any better, my dad drank himself to death,”

“How would that make me feel better?” Rafael raised an eyebrow at you.

“I don’t know, I was trying to say something comforting. I suck at it. I shouldn’t be a mother,” You shook your head.

“Hey now,” He put a hand to your cheek again. “You seem like a great mother,”

“Oh yeah, mom of the year,” You rolled your eyes. “I just left my kids with their psychopath father,”

“Hey, I kidnapped you,” He teased.

“Yeah you did--” You stopped smiling when the thought hit you like a train. “Oh fuck,”

“What?” Rafael furrowed his eyebrows.

“If I know Billy, once he realizes I’m gone and who I’m with, he’s going to claim you kidnapped me or something,” Your own eyebrows furrowed as you started going over worst case scenarios.

“But that’s absurd,” He shook his head. “Clearly I didn’t…”

“I mean you kind of did,” You shrugged.

“But you wanted to come!” He defended.

“You think he’s gonna word it that way?” You gave him a look.

“Well if they come after us then I’ll just clarify that--” Rafael kept reasoning with you.

“Then he’ll say that I just abandoned them,” You made another excuse.

“You left them with their dad--” Rafael was determined to make you see logic.

“He’s going to come after us Rafael!!”

“Okay, baby-- you’re spiraling,” He took both of your hands. “Inhalar, exhalar,” [pronounced

In-hall-ay, ex-hall-ay]

You took several inhales and exhales, long and deep.

“I just--” You breathed again. “I know this is going to end badly,”

“Not as badly as it could have,” Rafael pointed out. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do we need to go to the hospital or something?”

“...I...I don’t know,” You sheepishly admitted. “I haven’t had the courage to check,”

“What?!” Rafael cried, picking you up and standing up out of the car and opening the back door, laying you across the backseat.

“Baby these are fine leather seats! You’ll never get the blood out if you--” You tried to object but Rafael was already peeling off your “diaper”. He became more and more angry at the haphazard way Lewis had just patched you up so that he could shower. When he unraveled the mountains of toilet paper wrapped around your waist, he could see you were “Stopped up” by a bunch of cotton balls and tampons. And you were very clearly still bleeding. The sight made him sick.

“Fuck…” He whispered as he threw the “bandages” back on you, then went to get something from his trunk. He came back with an old t-shirt and wrapped it around your waist and butt area tightly.

“We have to stop this bleeding baby,” he began to panic again. “I-I don’t even know how you’re conscious right now, you must have lost a lot of--” He stopped talking when he realized you were in fact, unconscious now. All of those shitty bandages as shitty as they were, had been keeping your blood and and now it was freely pouring out of you and out of the car.

“Fuck…” He muttered as he slammed the door and got in the driver’s seat, starting his car again and speeding towards the hospital. Well, it would sure be a hell of a lot harder to explain he DIDN’T kidnap you now, if you weren’t awake to verify it.

He sped as fast as he could to the hospital, dialing Liv’s number as he drove. “Liv, get the squad to the hospital,” He instructed her.

“And we need a police detail at this address, but you have got to be discreet, I don’t want him going off the rails,”

As soon as they got to the hospital, Rafael jumped out and started yelling to EMT’s and nurses standing outside the emergency room to help him with you. They grabbed a gurney and helped Rafael put you on it, rolling you inside as you were immediately hooked up to things and had a team swarming you.

“How much blood has she lost?” A nurse asked him as she pushed him back away from you so the doctors could work.

“I...I don’t know,” He answered warily as he tried looking over her to see how you were.

“What blood type is she?” She moved him to face her.

“I don’t know…” He rubbed his hand across the back of his head, but it was covered in your blood. It made him panic more.

“Do you know anything, sir?” The nursed asked in an annoyed tone.

“Yes,” He was now glaring angrily. “I know she was brutally raped, and I’m pretty sure he tore her,”

“....He?” She eyed him up and down, seeing him covered in your blood.

“Oh come on,” Rafael exhaled with a sarcastic laugh. “You don’t think if I did this to her I would bring her in myself?”

“I don’t know you sir, I don’t know what you would or would not do--”

“No I did NOT do this to her--” He started to tell her she was nuts, when he heard the last voice in the world he wanted to hear.

“THERE HE IS!!!!” He turned to see Lewis walking in with Jersey PD, pointing directly at him.

“THAT’S THE MAN WHO RAPED AND KIDNAPPED MY WIFE!!!!!!!!”

….Well, fuck.

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - Chapter 14

It’s Monday and it’s new chapter time.

First of all... the gif above is one of the most hilarious scenes in Top Gun, so when i started writing this chapter I knew I had to re-enact it. The manoeuvre is called buzz the tower. 

This chapter is a moment of respite from what’s going to happen next. it’s a bit angsty at the beginning, but then it gets lighter.

CW: hurt/comfort,  PTSD, panic attacks, and also a bit NSFW,

Enjoy

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She was in a room, of that she was sure. The heat was becoming unbearable by the second and the smoke enveloped her in a tight grip. Her eyes burned and she felt lost. Everywhere she looked there was smoke. Slowly she walked to a door and once she opened she saw fire. She walked in. She had to find him. She moved a step and her skin felt on fire. She walked and walked.

“Help,” she heard a male voice. She moved towards it. But when she found the person she noticed it was too late. She could still recognise his features: Sam. He was dead and she was too late. She started running as the tongues of fire chased her and the sense of being lost got worse. She ran and collided with something metallic. It was a plane. Its wings were broken, the canopy smashed. She noticed a figure in it. She walked to the aircraft and her heart stopped when she noticed the silver hair: Row— an explosion filled her ears.

Aelin woke with a scream, she threw the duvet aside and launched herself off the bed, crashing on the floor and then ran for the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach in the toilet. Over and over again. Tears pricked her eyes and she noticed her hands shake visibly. Exhausted, Aelin plopped on the floor and let the tears fall. It was just a bad dream. Just a bad dream. But she could still smell Sam’s charred skin and the odour of kerosene. Her sobs intensified and when she started hyperventilating she realised a panic attack was building up.

“Rowan…” she called but remembered too late that he had gone out with Aedion. She tried to bring her breathing under control but failed and the sense of terror grew stronger. Slowly, trembling she dragged herself back to the bedroom and once she reached the nightstand, with trembling hands, grabbed her phone and called Rowan.

His answer was immediate “hey you, miss me already?”

Aelin could not reply straight away, she tried to calm her breathing “I…” she started sobbing again “I am scared.” Was all she managed before her sobs took over completely.

“Aelin, where are you?” Rowan’s voice was panicked “Are you at home?”

He and Aedion had driven her home before going for their night out.

“Yes…” he voice barely audible.

“I am on my way.” And he closed the conversation.

Aelin dropped the phone and collapsed exhausted on the floor.

Rowan had cut his night short and drove back home like a madman. He should have never left her alone. He knew she was suffering from nightmare and panic attacks. But the idea of going out with Aedion had been very tempting. They had a great night and they had a fascinating chat that helped him a lot. His heart raced and growled at every single set of traffic lights. He had to be back home quickly. Aedion had mentioned to keep an eye on Aelin for PTSD. He hadn’t told the man that Aelin was already showing two symptoms. The nightmares and the fact that at night she struggled to sleep. He was getting really worried and his finger tapped nervously on the steering wheel.

He finally made it home and ran in the house, sprinted to the bedroom and found Aelin on the floor. Her mobile had slipped from her hands. He hoisted her in his arms and took her to the bed noticing her clammy skin. Gently he deposited her on the bed and went to the bathroom to grab a cloth. With it he brushed her face and cleaned it. She had been sick. He stood again and went to grab a fresh pair of pyjama and changed her making sure not to cause any more injury to her arm. Gently he tucked her under the blanket. She was sleeping and he did not want to wake her. He kissed her head and then he went to get himself ready for bed. Once he joined her under the blankets he pulled her to his chest and enveloped her body with his. His strong arms looped around her frame and his leg draped over hers in a protective embrace.

*

It was early morning when he woke, kissed Aelin’s head and brushed her blonde hair away from her face. She had managed to sleep throughout the night and he relaxed. She must have been exhausted after whatever happened. He imagined she had another nightmare and a panic attack. She was his brave and fierce Fireheart and it destroyed him to see her like that.

Rowan felt her move and slowly shift to awareness, her body turned and blue, beautiful eyes met his.

“Morning.” He smiled at her and kissed her briefly.

“You are here.” Her hand brushed his face.

“Of course I am here.”

“You…” but she stopped and shook her head “it’s nothing.” And she turned.

“What is it, Aelin?”

“Nothing.” She repeated and curled in a foetal position turning her back to him “you will leave me eventually. Everyone does.” He heard her cry.

He rolled her over and made sure she faced him “I am not going anywhere.”

“You will leave me, just like Sam did…” she whispered against his chest “and I will be alone again.”

His heart ached painfully. He wanted to make her a promise that he would always come back but his job was just as dangerous as hers and he could not utter that promise and lie to her.

“Do you want me to give up my job?”

She looked up at him “no.” she kissed him “no, I could never ask you that. No matter how much it scares me.” She leaned a bit more into him “Just come back to me.”

“It will be my pleasure.”

They remained in bed holding each other for a while. Aelin had told him about her nightmare and telling him felt good.

Rowan looked at his phone and groaned “damn I need to go to work.”

Her face turned sad and he kissed her pout away, then he had an idea “Come with me.”

“Uh?”

“You are still a consultant. I know that Lorcan has continued our project with Aedion. But you can come and see for yourself what we have done.” Then he gave her a big smile “you can see me fly as well. The guys and I will be probably running some drills as well as we have a performance review coming.”

The smile that she gave him almost made his heart melt. With renewed energy she jumped off the bed, ran to his side and began pulling him out of bed “come on, shower and we are going.”

“Fine, fine,” he complained and dragged himself out of bed, then he grabbed her and carried her to the bathroom sack of potato style. Aelin trashed in his arms, he pinched her buttocks in reply and she squealed. He deposited her in the bathroom and once free he started to undress and Aelin stared at him while leaning against the sink with a wanton smile on her face.

She peeled off her clothes and walked to him. Her hands brushed his chest, following the lines of his tattoo and then her tongue traced the same path. He folded his arms around her and pushed her in the shower and opened the jets. Another step and she was pinned to the wall. Aelin looked up at him “I do love a good wall in the morning.”

In a second his mouth was on hers, a hard demanding kiss. Her mouth opened to him and his tongue brushed against hers “well, let’s try and not disappoint you.” He pulled her legs around him and with one thrust he was in her.

The shower took longer than expected but it had put Aelin in a better mood and that’s all he cared about. He was getting ready in his uniform and smiled when Aelin hugged him from behind “What?” He asked softly while tying his tie.

“Thank you for being at my side last night.”

Rowan stiffened “I should have been with you all night, but I didn’t.”

Aelin placed a kiss on his back “but you came back straight away and it helped. In your arms I slept peacefully. You made me feel safe.”

“Well,” he turned and faced her “I need to make sure we do that every night.”

Aelin nodded and went to her side of the closet to grab her clothes “did you have a nice time with Aedion?”

“I did. And he helped. He went through this a few times and well, it felt good to talk with someone who could fully understand.” Then he stopped and looked at her “I don’t mean that you can’t. You have been supportive and amazing.”

Aelin stepped up to him “I know, but Aedion has been in the military. I haven’t. He can help you talk about things I might not understand. That’s why I asked him to take you out.”

“Thank you.” He said leaning over for a kiss “Are you ready?”

Aelin twirled in front of him, she just had jeans and a hoodie and he still thought she was the most stunning creature he had ever seen “I am, captain. All ready to see my top gun in action.”

My. Rowan felt a tug of deep joy at hearing her using that possessive for him. Since she forced the topic after the opera he realised that he had been fooling himself when he tried to convince himself he had no deep feelings for her. He wanted her. To be with her. To commit to her. And he was going to show her just how much.

He took her hand and together they walked out of the house.

*

They arrived at the base not long after “do you have your badge?” He told her as they reached the first check point.

Aelin fished it out of her bag and showed it to him.

“Captain,” the man in the booth said acknowledging Rowan “captain.” He added towards Aelin.

They drove through the second check point without being stopped and then Rowan parked in the staff car park. Aelin put her lanyard with her badge around her neck and followed Rowan inside, taking his hand.

They walked into his office and Aelin took in the room. She had been inside the first time she had visited him but not bothered to notice anything around. The place looked immaculate and super organised. A big filing cabinet at his back and a bookshelf full with books. Aelin went to have a look and discovered they were all books about flying. Then at the top of the shelf she noticed metal planes all lined up.

“This one,” he said, pointing to a plane with propellers “it’s called a spitfire. It’s quite an epic one.”

“Did you fly it?”

Rowan laughed “No, it’s an old plane. I wasn’t even born when it was used but it’s just gorgeous.”

“It looks cool,” said Aelin looking at the other models.

“These are some of the other planes I have flown.” He pointed to the remainder ones. 

“And this?” She took in her hand the model of an aircraft carrier.

“That is the first aircraft carrier I have served on. I met some great people there.” And lost a lot as well, but he did not say that out loud. “It was my first mission and like a proper newbie I was all excited and eager to prove myself.”

Aelin smiled and then her eyes noticed a picture on the wall behind his desk “is that you?”

Rowan nodded and walked closer to her “the day I graduated from the academy. I was nineteen.”

She took his hand feeling the anguish in his voice “you look quite dashing.”

“I felt smug as fuck and invincible. I had finished the academy at the top. I came out number one.”

“Such a nerd.” She gave him a smile.

He turned her and grabbed her shoulders “don’t tell me that you were not a competitive brat at the academy.”

“I was the only woman at the time. I had to fight twice as much. I showed them all and I finished at the top as well and I made captain well before some of the morons who thought that they were better than me because they allegedly, had the correct reproductive apparatus.”

Rowan snorted and Aelin glared at him “don’t tell me you are one of those because I am going to dump your arse so hard you have no idea.”

He kissed her “No. I have been fighting with Lorcan for a while to get women to serve in the airforce if they want to. The navy has them, the army does as well. We are the only corp that doesn’t and I have been losing this battle for a while. Lorcan is one of those and since he doesn’t believe in the fact that women should be allowed in the airforce he never brings the fight to the higher levels.”

She kissed him and she felt like her heart could explode with love for him.

“He really is an arsehole.”

“I am not his biggest fan either recently.”

“Can’t you take the fight higher up? Go over his head?”

Rowan sighed “we are run by a bunch of old fashioned mummies who are even more retrograde than Lorcan.”

Aelin was about to reply when someone knocked at the door. At Rowan’s invitation she saw the man called Gavriel enter the room “We are all ready to go. We got clearance from the tower and the guys are getting changed now.” Then he noticed Aelin and gave her a big smile “hello, captain.”

“Hello, Commander,” she greeted him remembering his rank. She had liked the man from the start.

Rowan kissed her “I’ll be back in ten minutes. I need to get changed. I’ll come and get you.”

Aelin nodded and he left with Gavriel.

“So, you finally decided to do the right thing,” said the other man to Rowan.

“Uh?”

“Stop grieving and being scared and finally try to be happy.”

Rowan gave him a tight smile “she is worth it.”

*

Aelin waited in his office and when she got bored she grabbed one of his books about flight and started reading. She had been doing some research on her own to understand his job a bit more. She grabbed one that seemed to start from the basics and began reading how a plane did manage to stay in the air. She was so engrossed in the book that she missed him coming back. When she lifted her eyes she saw him standing in front of her in his flight suit. Gods, he was… she had so many naughty thoughts crossing her mind.

“What are you reading?” He asked her, noticing the book abandoned on the desk.

“Oh…” she cleared her voice “just discovering how a plane can stay up.”

Rowan laughed “four forces: thrust, lift, drag and push or gravity” he told her with a smug smile and then he offered her his hand “come on.”

She followed him and they walked to the hangar and every so often she checked him out. In the jump suit he was even hotter than usual.

They entered the hangar and Aelin noticed a lot of people swarming around the five jets “the engineers are getting the planes ready,” he explained her as they got closer to his.

They stopped and Rowan got to open the canopy and finished to dress by adding what he had told her was a G suit used to help with the pressure with manoeuvres where they had to pull a lots of Gs. She stared at him doing all the checks to his suit and then gave a man at her side the thumb up.

“This is Greg,” said Rowan nodding at the man at their side “he is my engineer. Once we are ready to go he will take you to the observation tower.”

Aelin smiled. She was really going to see him fly.

“Give me a have fun kiss,” he said leaning into her.

Aelin brushed his hair and kissed him deeply, then she broke the kiss and her forehead was against his “Be safe.”

He kissed her nose “I love you,” he said very softly.

He left her and climbed into his jet. She studied him finishing to don his helmet, do some checks and then he waved at her. He gave Greg a thumbs up and Aelin saw some other people take the jet away. No taxi, she corrected herself using the right term.

“Miss, you can come with me. They are taxing out and it’s going to get loud in here.”

Aelin nodded and followed the man, casting a glance ever so often to where Rowan had disappeared.

They climbed up the tower and Aelin gasped at the view. She could see the jets lined up on the runaway.

“They are waiting for final clearance from the tower. They will go that way for a bit, but eventually will come back here.” He passed her a pair of binoculars “these are handy.”

Aelin thanked him.

“Don’t leave until someone comes back to collect you. Probably captain Whitethorn will come himself. You are safe up here.” He explained her and Aelin nodded.

The man disappeared and she leaned against the wall. She stared at the jets and then realised she had no idea how to tell them apart.

One at a time all the jets took off, they disappeared at the horizon and eventually came back a flew by the tower. One of them rolled its wings up and down and she had a feeling that was Rowan.

She giggled and grabbed the binoculars.

A moment later she felt a presence at her side. Lorcan had joined her with a thermos of coffee in his hands “Enjoying the view?” He asked in a bored tone.“The fun should start soon. Whitethorn is probably explaining the parameters of the exercise and creating the two teams, that’s why they are still in formation. As soon as the game starts you will see them veer up and break into two groups.”

“How can you tell them apart?”

“Habit.”

Aelin rolled her eyes.

“Whitethorn is that one,” he pointed at the jet at the head of the formation.

“That’s it.” Said Lorcan and Aelin saw the team break apart like he had told her.

Lorcan brought out a radio and he changed to a channel that allowed him to listen to radio chatter of his pilots.

“Do you do this often? Coming up here and watch them, I mean.”

“Every time they are out. I am not as much as a monster as the captain depicts me.” He sighed and looked at his pilots “I care about them. They are my team.” then he chuckled and pointed at the jets in the air “Fenrys is already trying to get a lock on Whitethorn. Can you see how he is flying?”

Aelin followed the scene with interest and the radio went silent as the man probably concentrated on their job.

“Moonbeam is sneaky but there is a reason why Whitethorn is the best.”

“I got your arse, Iceman.” She heard Fenrys over the radio. Then something amazing happened. She saw the jet in front of the young lieutenant pull up in a vertical and breaking and letting the other jet pass him the he pulled down and Rowan ended up behind him and over the radio she heard a noise.

“Another time, wolf.” She heard Rowan laugh and the sound warmed her heart “you can sit this one out, pup.” 

“That was awesome.” Said Aelin in awe.

“Whitethorn is not an easy one to get. I think in many years of drills only Gavriel managed the feat a few times. And we all believe it was because well, he was not himself.”

Aelin had an inkling she knew when that was. 

“I think he needs this today. Losing that student has sent him back to a dark place.”

“How so?” Asked Aelin curious.

“Not my story to tell.”

They went back watching the exercise “that is a high G barrel roll, isn’t it?” She remembered it from thew video.

“Well done, captain.”

“Rowan has told me about some manoeuvres.”

“You see why he did that?” Lorcan pointed at the jets.

Aelin nodded, “the plane behind him is too close for comfort so that is an option to shake him off.”

Lorcan nodded “That is Gavriel. He probably painted him once already and had Rowan’s tail and a firing solution as well so Rowan pulled that manoeuvre to get rid of him and succeeded.”

“That’s Connall being his wingman. And Vaughan is with Gavriel.”

Then she gasped. Rowan had just flew in between Vaughan and Gavriel in a vertical line then she saw him bank and get back in formation.

“That’s Connall gone as well. It’s just Whitethorn against Vaughan and Gavriel.”

Gavriel was fast and sneaky. Even someone like her could see that. 

Rowan was on his own but Lorcan did not seem worried. His planes flew mere metres from a second one, their bellies almost touching. He rolled away and then pulled into a dive chasing the plane that was trying to escape. He stood at the other person’s tail playing chase until she heard over the radio curses coming from Vaughan and she knew the man was out as well.

“Now things get interesting.” Commented Lorcan who seemed cheerier all of a sudden.

“Rowan told me you are against the idea of having females in the airforce.”

His face turned hard again “I was just starting to like you, captain.”

“What is your problem with our gender?”

“You cannot do that.” He pointed at the fight scene in front of them.

“That is exactly what I heard all throughout the academy. I was the only woman at the time. I was told I did not have what it took. That as a woman my body could not sustain the heavy training regime, that I had no chance of becoming just as good a firefighter as a man. They thought that me being born with a vagina prevented me from being a firefighter.” She explained, not removing her gaze from the two remaining planes “I proved them all wrong, sir. I finished the academy at the top of my class. I set the record in one of the exercises and no one has broken it just yet. I made captain before many of those pricks and I am still to this day the only woman who did so.”

“This is a dangerous job.”

Aelin scoffed and showed him her bandaged arm “I almost died after running into a building on fire. And I do that on a daily basis. Don’t talk to me about a dangerous job.”

Lorcan breathed out “you made your point.”

“Elide has her own ideas as well on the matter. She might be tiny but she is one scary woman.”

His face all of a sudden lost its hard edges. Oh look, the man had feelings.

“She is quite an amazing woman.” He confessed.

“You’d better remember that.”

“She told me about… her past.”

Aelin knew. Elide had told them.

“It doesn’t bother me. I mean, it bothers me what the fucker did to her but not that she… has no experience.”

“Good, because Elide is very nervous about all that stuff.”

“When she is ready.”

Aelin nodded and went back to the fight. It looked like Rowan was trying to get on Gavriel’s tail. The older man pulled into a vertical but Rowan never left him. Aelin stared at the climb and wondered how many Gs they were pulling. The jet flew with the canopies facing each others. Aelin then noticed Rowan’s plane break formation. Pull, again the strange breaking manoeuvre and make a precise loop that landed right on Gavriel’s tail. 

A moment later she heard the long beeping sound and soon after a barrage of curses from Gavriel.

“That was damn sneaky.”

Aelin laughed and waved at him, not sure he could see her “That was awesome.”

“Oh, they are not done yet. Rowan’s drills are quite intense. We are in for much more fun. Now they all want revenge.” Added Lorcan leaning again against the wall and taking a sip of coffee from his thermos. 

“He really is good.”

Lorcan nodded “he was the best since flight school. And his cool temper helps him to be great in a situation of great stress. That’s why we have been fighting recently. He has been rash and impulsive. That is not him.”

Aelin did not make any comments on that.

“Rowan and I have known each other for a very long time, since we were both still in Doranelle.” He told her “he is very respectful of rank and etiquette but with me and in private he had always spoken his mind and a few times he had pegged me down a few notches. We both have clashing tempers and it tends to end badly at times.” He sighed “I had no intention of suspending him but I had to. And I have a feeling he looked for a fight on purpose to get suspended. To be with you.”

Aelin gasped. She was not expecting such revelation. She had assumed Lorcan had followed the rules.

“I hope you realise he put his career in jeopardy for you. A captain pulling a stunt like that and breaking aerospace lockdown was bad. And leaving his post at the airbase in Doranelle was just as bad.”

“I am grateful that he did, though. I might be selfish but he helped me greatly and he is still doing it.”

“Don’t fuck up his life, captain. One woman did it already and I think it’s enough.”

Lorcan’s words toward Lyria sounded quite harsh.

The exercise eventually came to an end but Lorcan stood there with her.

She heard Rowan ordering the team to go back to base.

“Tower, this is Iceman, requesting permission for a flyby.”

“Request denied, Iceman.”

“Get your arse back to base, Whitethorn,” shouted Lorcan over the comms.

Aelin stared at Rowan’s jet, the only one still in the air and looked at the very strange trajectory.

Then it was a matter of a second and a deafening noise startled her and a second later she heard a curse. Lorcan had spilled his hot coffee on his uniform and was now threatening the worst punishments for Rowan. She wanted to laugh but she restrained herself.

“Let’s go back down, captain. Your boyfriend is in for a treat.”

They got back inside and by the time they were back in the hangar the five jets were parked as well and Rowan was complimenting his team for a nice training session.

“Whitethorn.” Shouted Lorcan marching up to him “The tower clearly denied you the flyby. What is your problem?”

His green eyes landed on her and she saw a flash of amusement in them. 

“I should ask you the same thing, sir. Your uniform needs a change.” With his head he pointed at the stained clothing.

“Your arse in my office. Now.”

Rowan stood to attention and followed Lorcan. He looked at Aelin and winked at her.

“Did you enjoy that, captain?” It was Gavriel’s voice at her side.

“Immensely. It was super fun to watch.” She sighed “I know that when you guys do it for real is not fun, but this drill was awesome.”

She turned to where Rowan and Lorcan had disappeared and got worried “Will he be okay?”

It was Connall who answered “they will yell at each other for a while. Lorcan will call the captain reckless. Explain to him what regulations say with regard to the dear practice of buzzing the tower.”

“What’s buzzing the tower?” She interrupted not recognising the expression.

“The manoeuvre the captain did. It’s a very low pass made to startle or frighten someone. The noise of the jets, as you have experienced is quite high. The captain knew the commodore was with you and very likely had coffee.”

“It was a stupid thing to do.” Added Gavriel not happy “he knows that manoeuvre is dangerous.”

“Let the man have some fun. With all the shit that is going on he has been in a foul mood.”

Gavriel growled at Fenrys “first of all, our job is not to have fun. If that’s what you want, well I have got news for you, boyo. You are in the wrong job.” Gavriel moved closer to the young lieutenant “the captain has lost a student. Have some fucking respect for someone who is grieving.”

Gavriel shouted some orders to the ground crew and moved away “it was a pleasure to see you again, captain.”

She waved back at the man. She liked him. The three young men followed as well.

Not knowing what to do she found her way back to his office, thinking it to be the best and safest option. He came back to her half an hour later and he did not seem too mad.

“Are you two still alive?” She asked him as he walked into the office and lay down on the sofa.“Yeah, he is still alive. I told him to fuck off only once.”

She stood from his chair and walked to him “buzzing the tower was not a great idea.”

He looked at her with curiosity.

She tilted her head “they guys explained the manoeuvre to me.

He stood, closed the distance and his arms went around her waist “I was saying hi to you…” he kissed her “and when I saw Lorcan I knew he’d have coffee with him. He always does.” He kissed her again “and can I add how much of a turn on is when you use technical terms?”

“You are evil.” She poked him in the chest.

“No news there,” another kiss “did you enjoy the show?”

“It was awesome. So, so awesome. And you are quite incredible, captain. And I also recognised one of the manoeuvres from the book you were reading on the beach.” She told him all excited.

“Which one?”

They were so close their bodies were now touching “the high G barrel roll when Gavriel painted you.”

His jump suit was unzipped down till his navel and her hands landed on the t-shirt he wore underneath and he had the suit sleeves rolled to his elbows. He was stunning.

“So… so turned on just now…”

She pressed against him, his hands found their way in her hair and pulled her close for a hot kiss.

“I have so many naughty thoughts as well…”

“And I feel like breaking another rule…” he whispered in her ear and Aelin felt heat pool at her core.

He went to the door and locked it and when he turned he saw that Aelin had removed her hoodie and t-shirt and was sitting on his desk with just trousers and a bra.

Rowan closed the distance in a second, and his mouth claimed hers with an intensity that took Aelin off guard. She had quickly learned that sex with him was never boring and that the man had the power to reduce her to an exhausted mess. Not that she complained…

“I love naughty Rowan,” she teased with a finger on her lips. He moved between her legs, pulling her closer and took the finger in his mouth sucking it and licking it suggestively.

Aelin removed her bra and heard his gasp, then she proceeded to free him from the jump suit and leave him in his black briefs and his grey TAF t-shirt. She looked down and discovered him hard for her. He grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged it off.

“Are we doing something about those trousers, captain?”

Aelin smiled and slowly and with provocation unbuttoned her jeans and started lowering the zip. In a swift motion he pulled them down and away, taking her underwear with them, leaving Aelin stark naked “in a rush, captain?”

He bit her earlobe “the door might be locked, but people might still come and look for me.”

“Well, we better be quiet and pretend there is no one in the office.” And she kissed him eliciting a moan from him “I said quiet, captain.”

Aelin jumped off the table and a moment later was on her knees in front of him. Her hands grabbed his butt and then pulled down his briefs “lean against the table, sir.” He did so and a moment later her mouth was on him and he had to restrain himself to stifle the loud moan that threatened to escape from him. She looked up at him in his green eyes and with her tongue licked the tip.

“Fuck,” swore Rowan never breaking eye contact with her. She looked at him and could see lust in his eyes. Her tongue licked the length of him and then she took him in her mouth fully and Rowan let out another curse “If you…” his hands tightened on the desk when she added a hand “continue like this I might not— ” and his protest was cut off when she gently added teeth as well. She still looked at him in challenge and then sucked hard and that was Rowan’s undoing. He pulled her up and deposited her on the desk on her back, her legs wrapped around his waist.

“You wicked, wicked woman…” he told her silencing her protests with a sizzling kiss while a finger slipped into her and Aelin’s back arched at the feeling he coaxed from her. With her legs, she pushed him closer and felt his hardness nudging at her entrance and pulled a bit more as if to tell him what she wanted. He kissed her and his finger hooked inside her teasing that sensitive spot inside her.

“Whitethorn,”she ordered him.

“Such a demanding woman,” and with those words he pushed into her and Aelin had to cover her mouth with her hands to stop the indecent moan that was about to escape from her.

It hadn’t take them long to reach their peaks and now Rowan was leaning on top of an equally spent Aelin. It had been short and intense.

He kissed the space between breasts “I didn’t even have time to greet your friends here,” he added posing gentle kisses on each breasts.

She pulled him in for a kiss “it’s okay… this woman here feels very pleased and satisfied.”

He smiled at her “we better get dressed again. Just in case.” Very quickly they got their clothes back on then Aelin walked to him “I blame the jump suit.”

He raised an eyebrow “not the amazing content inside?”

She kissed him “the jump suit makes the content tastier.”

“Come on,” he took her hand, unlocked the door and walked out of the office “I promised to show you what we did.”

Aelin squeezed his hand and followed him. He took her around the airbase and they covered all the places that she had mentioned needed changes. The works on hangar bay 2 were almost over and the place was still empty but in far batter shape that last time she had seen it. Aelin walked closer to the walls and touched them “fire retardant paint?”

Rowan nodded “Aedion suggested it. The whole of hangar 2 is painted in it. And once the works here are all done, we will do the same in the main hangar.” She walked around impressed that they had taken on board every single suggestion she had made “I am impressed, captain. The place looks amazing.”

“Given the budget we got, Lorcan had ordered to do the same in the main hangar.”

“So, the man can do his job. Good to know.”

Rowan took her around the rest of the base and Aelin approved of what she had seen.

“What time is your doctor appointment?” Asked Rowan as they got back to his office.

“I will need to go soon.”

“Will you text me?” He asked her brushing a wild lock of hair from her face.

“I will let you know.”

She had a meeting with a doctor about her return to work. She knew it was only for desk duty but the idea of going back at the station was quite exciting.

Rowan pulled her into an embrace “go get them.” In response she kissed him.

“Don’t kill Lorcan, captain.”

He gave her a huge grin and she left.

-------

the gif above gives you an idea of one of the trick our bird boy pulled.

TAGS:

@rowaelinismyotp​

@jlinez​

@swankii-art-teacher​

@courtofjurdan​

@whimsicallyreading​

@tillyrubes10​

[elianamarie-blog]

could you maybe do an eric forman x reader where they go to a halloween party and the reader dresses up as Leia from star wars and eric absolutely m e l t s it can be spicy or fluffy or both lol i’m deprived of eric content

 I’ll be so happy to do that for you! :)

Eric x Reader

October 24, 1977

Point Place, Wisconsin

Eric Forman’s Basement

“What’s everybody doing for Halloween?” Donna asked as she sat down next to Eric and Kelso.

“Oh, probably going to eat a lot of candy and cry myself to sleep,” Eric commented. “Being alone on this holiday isn’t fun.”

Y/n was sitting in the lawn chair adjacent from him and set down the magazine she was reading on her lap. “What do you mean? It’s not like it’s Christmas,” she laughed.

“Yeah, but with Halloween, girls can dress up as slu-aaaa--” Eric stammered while staring at an amused y/n.

“Like what, Eric?” Y/n asked, a smile playing on her lips.

“Uh,” Eric stuttered once more and cleared his throat. “Like, uh, slugs. Girls can dress up like slugs.”

“Nice save,” Hyde chuckled. 

“Yeah, but Halloween is better,” Fez piped up. “You get all kinds of free candy.”

“Well, Fez, people get candy on Christmas too,” Jackie mentioned and sat on Kelso’s lap.

“Yeah, but my host parents don’t allow me to eat as much candy on Christmas and since they don’t celebrate Halloween, I have to hide it from them,” Fez replied sourly. 

“Well, that’s sad,” Y/n said. 

“You know what’s sad?” Hyde asked, sitting from his usual spot with his feet up on the table and arms crossed. “Halloween is on a Monday this year, so we can’t do anything.”

“Well, we can still have it the weekend of,” Donna suggested. “Like, this weekend?”

Everyone looked at each other,

“Yeah, that sounds good,” they all agreed.

“Saturday night, here in the basement?” Eric asked, looking at everyone for approval.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good,” everyone agreed, except for y/n.

“Y/n?” Eric asked, causing y/n’s heart to jump in her chest. “You coming?”

Y/n’s brain jumbled for a minute with Eric’s doe eyes staring at her. “Y-yeah,” she stuttered. “I’ll be there.”

“Great!” he exclaimed. “Saturday night it is!”

“Yayyyy,” Y/n mumbled under her breath as she turned her attention back to the magazine.

                                              --Time Skip--

Later that week at the Halloween store, y/n, Jackie, and Donna were shopping around for their costumes.

“What are you guys wanting to go as?” Jackie asked as she picked up a French maid costume. “I think I’m going to go as this and Michael will be my lord.”

Y/n and Donna snickered. 

“What?” Jackie asked innocently. 

“I think Kelso might expecting a little bit more than a house cleaning,” Y/n giggled and laughed when she saw Jackie’s face blush a deep crimson.

“What are you going as, Donna?” Jackie asked, quickly changing the subject. 

“I don’t know,” she answered absent-mindedly. “Casey is going to be there, so I have to look foxy.”

“You’re still going out with him?” Y/n asked, not hiding her judgment. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with him.”

“I know, but he’s so dreamy,” Donna responded with a smile and pulled a sexy devil costume out. 

“That would look good on you,” Y/n commented. 

“Thanks, I might go as this,” she said off handedly and looked at y/n. “What about you? What’re you going as?”

“I don’t know,” she responded and pulled out a sexy nurse costume. “I don’t see anything that sticks out to me.”

“Maybe you should get that one costume we talked about,” Jackie said with a suggestive smile.

“No,” Y/n said quickly with wide eyes and shook her head. “That’s not gonna happen.”

“What? What isn’t going to happen?” Donna asked excitedly.

“Nothing,” Y/n said and walked away.

“Oh, c’mon, y/n. We’re best friends. You can tell me anything,” Donna badgered. 

“No, really, it’s nothing.”

“I think we should tell her,” Jackie agreed. “She was bound to find out sooner or later.”

“No, I’d rather not do this right now,” Y/n begged. “Please, please drop it.”

“Okay, now I need to know!” Donna said with a wide smile.

“C’mon, y/n, just tell her. It’s not like it’s a big deal anymore,” Jackie said.

“It kind of is,” Y/n said quietly. 

“What is?!” Donna almost shouted, causing some people to turn to look at them.

Y/n looked around her for a minute, contemplating saying anything before finally throwing in the towel. “Okay, fine. But, before I do, please promise me you won’t get mad at me.”

Donna knitted her eyebrows together. “Why would I be mad at you?”

A nervous noise came out of y/n as she wrung her hands together before nervously looking at Jackie who signaled for her to continue. “Well, um...okay, it’s uh--” she looked over to Donna who was staring at her with wide and curious eyes, “Okay, here’s the thing--”

“Oh, for the love of God just spit it out!” Donna said impatiently. 

“Okay,” Y/n said, starting to sway a little. “It’s, uh, Princess Leia.”

Donna giggled. “You were nervous about telling me you’re going to go as Princess Leia?”

“Well...yeah.”

This time Donna laughed. “That’s funny because Eric would really love--” she gasped. “Oh my God. You like Eric?!”

Y/n made a face as she just stepped on a bug and heard a nasty crunch. “Yeah.”

“For how long?” Donna asked, all humor gone.

Y/n sighed and rubbed her forehead. She wanted to run out as fast as the flash out the door. “Not very long,” she admitted. 

“When you mean not long, do you mean after me and Eric broke up?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, sort of.”

“What do you mean sort of?”

“Sort of as in yes,” Y/n answered quickly and nervously. 

“What--? How--?” 

“Well, after you two broke up, Eric really needed someone to talk to and I was the only one that would listen without getting annoyed,” Y/m defended. “And during that time, he was vulnerable and just really sweet and it made me look at him in a whole new light.”

Donna was quiet for a moment making both Jackie and y/n nervous. 

“I’m really sorry, Donna,” Y/n said. “I didn’t mean it for it to happen. It’s just that--”

Donna giggled making y/n to stop talking and stare at her in confusion. “Y/n, it’s okay.”

“Wait, really?” Y/n and Jackie asked in unison.

“Yeah,” Donna answered. “We broke up months ago and I’m dating Casey now. And the fact that you hesitated to do anything really means a lot to me. You’re a great friend.”

“Oh, thank you,” Y/n said, sighing in relief.

“And if you want to pursue anything with him, you have my blessing,” Donna said.

“Wow, Donna. Thank you,” she replied and gave her a hug. “You’re the best.”

“It’s no problem. Besides, now you’re the one has to deal with all the Star Wars references,” Donna sang-song as she walked passed y/n to go buy her costume.

                                      --Time Skip--

The party’s music was blaring from the Forman’s basement that night. Kitty and Red had gone over to the Pinciotti’s house for their Halloween--much against Red’s will. A lot of people showed up, making the basement loud. Donna went as a sexy devil, Jackie went as a sexy French maid, Kelso was dressed up in robe playing lord of the manor, Fez as Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show...again, and Hyde didn’t dress up, because, well it’s Hyde. Casey surprised everyone by actually showing up and could barley keep his hands off of Donna. And Eric, of course, dressed up as Luke Skywalker. 

Donna and Casey sat in the lawn chair, her in his lap while he whispered sweet nothings. Jackie and Kelso hung around the washer and dryer machine with Hyde, drinking beers and talking. Eric was hanging around with Fez, a Darth Vader, and a Tinker Bell. Eric was trying not to look at Fez’s pale legs while geeking out with Darth Vader and Tinker Bell. The only person missing was y/n.

“So, when Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star--” he continued his story, but stopped when Hyde clapped a hand on Eric’s shoulder.

“Hey, man, you’re girlfriend is here,” he joked.

“What? I don’t have a girlfriend,” Eric said confused.

Hyde pointed to the door. Eric’s gaze followed to where he was pointing and could feel his heart stop for a moment. Y/n was standing at the door dressed as Princess Leia. If he was being honest with himself, she looked stunning. He never knew someone could look more beautiful than she did right now. He had always thought she was attractive, but he was always in love with Donna, but ever since they broke up, he found himself liking her more than just a friend. Even though y/n wasn’t as big of a fan of Star Wars herself, he still loved that he was able to be himself and geek out with her and not feel judged by it.

She made eye contact with him and made her way over to him.

“Hey!” she greeted cheerfully. “We match!”

“Uhhhh...y-yeah,” he stuttered. “You, uh, you-you look great.”

Y/n curtsied making Eric chuckle. “Thank you, Mr. Skywalker. You look great yourself.”

Tinker Bell had gotten bored and walked off while Fez and Darth Vader stayed to ogle at y/n.

“Hey, so what cha doing later?” Darth Vader asked.

Y/n looked around the party with a mild confused look. “Uh, this?”

Darth Vader chuckled. “I meant after the party.”

“Going home,” she stated.

Darth Vader nodded his head. “Got it.”

“Thanks,” she said, grateful that he wasn’t going to push her. He walked off, leaving the three of them.

“And I’m going to go find a drunk girl,” Fez said and sauntered off.

Eric and y/n stood alone; Y/n’s heart beating out of her chest. “So, nice party. A lot more people showed up than I thought.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Eric replied, a smile growing on his cute face. “Thanks for coming.”

“Oh, you know I wouldn’t miss it.”

Eric couldn’t stop himself for staring at y/n from head to toe. “You really do look great tonight though.”

She smiled shyly at him. “Thank you.”

“Hey, Forman!” Hyde called from nearby the washer and dryer. “Keg is here. Help me do a keg stand.”

Eric pointed his thumbs over his shoulder. “Duty calls.”

“Yeah,” Y/n replied nodding her head. “I’m going to get a drink.”

“Hey, I’ll catch you later?”

Y/n nodded. “Okay.”

She watched him walk off and hold Hyde by the ankles as he drank straight from the tap. Y/n chuckled to herself as she turned to the shower and grabbed a beer. She popped it open and went over to Donna and Jackie to talk to them.

“Wow, look at you,” Jackie gushed. “Looking sexy.”

“Awe, thanks Jackie,” she said, blushing.

“I saw that you caught the attention of someone,” Donna said seductively and subtly glanced over at Eric who was too into making sure Hyde didn’t fall on his face to notice y/n sitting on the couch. She had purposely had her dress hiked up to expose her right thigh, but still covering to be decent.

Eric wanted to look but he couldn’t take the chance of being distracted. 

“Okay, Forman, your turn,” Hyde slurred as he was lowered down.

“Wait! I have something better,” Kelso called out and brought out a funnel and a tube. “Gotta do this right.”

“Hell yeah!” Hyde whooped and connected the tube to the funnel.

Eric got down on one knee and put the tube to his mouth as Hyde started quickly filling up the funnel with cans of beer.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” everyone at the party chanted as Eric successfully drained four cans of beer. 

Eric stumbled back up and burped as he swayed a little. “I’m going to feel that buzz here in a minute.”

Y/n laughed as she watched the guy she liked come over and sit beside her. “What cha talkin’ about good lookin’?”

Y/n squinted her eyes at him while chuckling. “How drunk are you right now?”

“It’s more of a buzz going on,” he confessed. “But this confidence is real.” He clicked his tongue and pointed at himself.

“Hey, y/n, you wanna give this a go?” Hyde asked.

“Yes, do a keg stand!” Kelso shouted.

“No,” Y/n said quickly and firmly. “I’m not giving you another reason to look up my dress.”

“Kill joy!” Kelso shouted, now in a drunken stupor. 

“I will drink from the tube though,” she said to Hyde who nodded in approval.

As she walked over to Hyde, grabbed the tube, and got on her knees, Hyde nodded approvingly. “Oh, yeah. Get on them knees.”

“Shut up, you idiot and just start,” Y/n said.

“That’s what she said too!” Hyde threw his head back laughing.

“Just give me the beer!” she shouted, laughing at her friend’s stupidity.

“Alright, alright, alright, calm down,” he responded and started pouring the beer down the funnel.

The fizz of the beer burned as it quickly went down her throat. The fizz was going into her nose causing her eyes to water, but she refused to stop. As everyone chanted around her to keep going, she forced herself to focus on ingesting the beer instead of Eric, who was watching her intently. 

Hyde ended up pouring three beers in the funnel before she brought the tube up, careful not to spill. Everyone cheered and she got off the floor, her knees cracking from sitting on the concrete floor. 

“Damn, color me impressed,” Hyde said. “I thought you’d only be able to do one.”

“Please, I’ve been drinking with you morons for the past year and a half. I have a higher tolerance now.”

Hyde grinned, “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” y/n said and suddenly felt her skin heat up. “I’ll be right back.”

She walked out the basement and up the stairs, feeling that autumn breeze cool down her burning skin. She breathed in the cool evening air and sat on the porch. She leaned her head back and listened to the wind rattling the trees and crunchy leaves fly their way down the driveway.

She sat there like that for a minute or two before a voice caused her to snap her eyes open.

“Hey, you alright?”

Eric sat down next to her as she lazily turned her head to look at him. She could feel the alcohol starting to slush around her head, but it was a good buzz. “Yeah, ‘m fine,” she responded and looked back up at the night’s sky. “Just getting a breather. Started getting hot in there.”

“Yeah, when you’ve had a few beers and have a lot people around you, the air tends to heat up quick,” he commented.

Y/n hummed in response and looked back at him. “What’re you doing out here?”

“Oh, well, I saw you leave and wanted to make sure you were enjoying the party.”

“Oh, me? I’m having a marvelous time.”

“Why did that sound sarcastic?” he deadpanned.

Y/n giggled. “It’s not. I really am having a great time.”

Eric gave her a single nod. “Good.” His wrung his hands as he struggled to find the right words. Y/n had her eyes closed again, so she didn’t notice his nervousness. “You really do look good tonight.”

Y/n opened her eyes once more and looked at him. “Thank you, Eric. You look good too.”

“No, I mean, you look really beautiful.”

Y/n blushed at his words and stood up, pretending to stretch. In reality, it was a way to cover up her nerves. “Thank you, Eric. That’s really sweet.” She smiled at him as he stood up to stand in front of her. “Shall we go back in?”

“Uh, yeah, but before we do,” he began and grabbed her arm, stopping her from turning around. “Um, if you’d like to grab a burger with me--o-or, you know, catch a movie, that would be cool.”

“Oh,” Y/n asked in surprise. “Just you and me?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his nerves shining through. “If you want to of course.”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun,” she smiled at him.

“Okay, good. I was afraid that you were going to say no. Because I really li--”

He was cut off by her lips quickly meeting his. She wasn’t sure if it was the newfound confidence or the alcohol, or maybe even both, but she felt like the time was right.

“And you kissed me?” Eric asked, confused.

“Oh my God,” Y/n said, embarrassed. “Did I read the signs wrong? I’m so sorry. I’m so dumb. I thought you were asking me out--”

Now she was interrupted by Eric’s hand wrapping around her neck and pulling her in for a passionate kiss. She didn’t need to wait for her to completely melt into the kiss and placed her hands on either side of his face. She felt the universe line up and butterflies erupt in her stomach.

As he pulled away, he looked into her eyes. “I was.”

“Okay, so I’m not dumb,” she said lowly and chuckled to herself.

“No, not at all,” he said and captured her lips once more. “Tomorrow night, I’ll pick you up at seven.”

She nodded and brought him in for another kiss, completely forgetting where she was for a moment until, “Alright! Get it, Eric!”

Eric and y/n broke their amorous kiss and looked to see Kelso, Hyde, Donna, Jackie, Fez, and Casey watching them.

“Hey, would you look at that. Foreplay has some moves,” Casey commented, making Donna lightly smack him in the chest.

“Bout damn time too,” Hyde said. “I was getting tired of hearing about his feelings towards y/n.”

Y/n flushed in embarrassment and hid her face in Eric’s chest.

“Uh, guys? Can we get a little privacy here?” Eric deadpanned.

“Sure, sure,” Fez said. “Hey, Eric. If you see her boobs, please describe them to me.”

Y/n and Eric looked at him with the most annoyed expression.

“Shut up, Fez!”

[hargrove-mayfields]

Billy has to stick up for max a lot because of her autism, at school he walks to her class and their afraid of him because just,,, look at him

warnings for mentions of bullying and ableism.

It isn’t easy to make Maxine Mayfield cry.

At least, Billy had almost never seen her shed a tear in the six years he’d known her but maybe two times: once when she was still little, and just learned her step-family was going to move into her house and replace her real dad forever, and once when she was told they would be leaving California. Both times she’d run off to her room and slammed the door before anyone could see, but Billy had noticed. He always did when it came to Max. Had to when he knew damn well how much trouble he’d be in if things went wrong while he was watching her.

Beyond that there were a few teary eyed looks that got wiped away, maybe a sniffle she’d try to cover up by complaining about her allergies, but it was very rare, even during meltdowns, that she’d be full on crying, tears streaming down her face so quickly she couldn’t wipe them away while sobs wrack through her and make her shake.

So Billy knows first thing that something is very, very wrong when she’s already at his car after school, her face buried in her balled up jacket and doing exactly that. He can hear her from outside the car, so he sighs and knocks on the window before he yanks the door open, but Max doesn’t even flinch, just curls up tighter in the passenger seat and ignores him.

That’s a bad sign too, the fact she isn’t even trying to hide it from him, “What’s a’matter Maxi?”

“None of your business.” She snaps at him, voice thick and wet with tears. It’s unfamiliar seeing her like that and it makes Billy feel tense ang guilt even though he didn’t do it this time, so he tries, “Come on. It totally is my business. You get tears on my leather seats n’the salt’ll stain ‘em up, and you’ll be the one to clean it up.”

All it gets from Max is another heavy sob, instantly hitting him with a pang of regret for trying to be light about this, “Shit. M’sorry, Maxi. Didn’t mean it like that. Just tryin’ ta make you smile.”

“Well it didn’t work!” Max sniffles, throwing her jacket on the dash and finally turning to look at Billy, face flushed red and tracked with tears, her bottom lip still wobbling, “I’ll never ever smile again..”

“Why not? I know it’s not just because of your dumbass brother.” Billy sees a twitch at the corner of her lip, the slightest hint of a smile at him insulting himself, and he counts that as a small win, a sign he’s getting at least a little bit through to Max, so he prompts her again, “What happened at school today, Max?”

Her gaze drops to her lap, and she shrugs her shoulders slightly, stiffly, as she mumbles an explanation, “Remember how I told you about that boy, who's mean to me and my friends?”

“‘Course I do. I never forget anythin’ you tell me.”

Max wipes her nose on her sleeve, and corrects him, “Except for when you forgot I told you I had AV club and you came in the school looking for me and then you got stuck talking to a teacher for like, three hours after I was done.”

“Yeah, well that was one time. N’I was already havin’ a bad day when you told me, thank you very much.” He encourages her, his face serious though their tone is light-hearted, “Keep goin’, what’d this kid do now?”

Again Max’s features close off, and she tries to lie, “He was just.. Well it was my fault.. I-I don’t know.”

“Max. I need the truth.”

Talking fast, like she’s fighting against her thoughts, she makes him promise, “Promise me you won’t do anything dumb, first.”

Billy lifts a hand from the steering wheel, “I won’t. Cross my heart, Maxi.”

At this point, in the silence that builds while Max wills herself to speak, Billy starts to drive, since it’s clear he won’t be going back into that school. It isn’t lost on him the way Max takes a deep breath, out of relief that he meant it when he said he wasn’t going to be dumb and march back in there.

Quickly, once she’s ready, she explains, “Okay. Well he kinda sort of told me that I was annoying ‘cause I laugh too much, and I told him it was just a stim n’that I couldn’t help it but he said that made me a baby and I told him I wasn’t and he called me a retard instead and I was already stressed so I started crying like a dumb baby and he laughed at me and none of my friends said anything or helped me and I just.. yeah.”

All Billy can do is raise his eyebrows, has about a hundred and one pissy and angry things he could say, but he doesn’t utter a word, because he doesn’t want to make Max more upset than she already is.

Clearly just the change in his expression spooks her though, because she insists, sounding like she could cry again at any second, “You promised me!”

He puts his hands up sort of defensively, though he has to grab the wheel again when the car veers, swallowing his anger to tell her calmly, “I didn’t even say anything. I promised I’d be nice and I’m gonna keep that promise.”

She nods hesitantly, more to show trust than agreement, so Billy continues, “But Maxi that’s.. bad. Why don’t you tell a teacher or some shit?”

“Yeah, like they would even do anything. They already hate me for being in their coed classes.” Max mumbles the last part, looking away, “They’d probably rather Troy beat me up so I wouldn’t be bothering them anymore.”

“Tell me you’re being dramatic.”

But Max just shrugs again.

“Fuck, I hate this fucking place.” Billy tears his eyes from the road to look Max in the eyes as she says it, even knowing she can’t return the gesture, “You know you don’t deserve to go through this shit, Maxi?”

“It.. is kinda my fault though.”

He lashes out, just a little, hearing her talk like that about herself. Because it’s not fair that a thirteen year old girl looks at herself that way, yeah, but also because he knows it’s in some ways his fault too, and their parents for the way she’d been brought up, and the shit she'd been around that she even thinks to say shit like that.

He hits the palm of his hand against the rim of his steering wheel, rather he goes to before he catches himself, slowing it before it really hits, tapping it more than anything, “No the fuck it isn’t. It’s nobody’s fault but the assholes that make it into a problem. And fucking Neil’s for dragging us to this close-minded little spot on the map. I hate this fucking town”

“Oh.” Is all Max says.

Billy waits, but he can see she doesn’t know what else to say, so he sighs, “Look, I made my promise to you. Can you make one for me now?”

Max looks confused, “Okay?”

“Promise me that the next time somebody says some shit to you, you stand up for yourself.” Max scrunches up her face, like she immediately disagrees with that, but Billy insists, “Look, I don’t care if you’re crying like a damn baby or you can’t even talk while you do it, just don’t let ‘em walk all over you like that again.”

“I’m not fighting anyone, Billy. I’m not.. like you.”

“That’s not what I said. I said to stand up for yourself. It’s different.”

“Yeah right. How am I supposed to do that?” Billy knows that some asshole had to have said that to Max, that for whatever bullshit reason she couldn’t stick up for herself. Damn kid can’t catch a break in life, so he tells her, at this point not sure if this is even advice or just him ranting at Max, “This kid calls you a slur again, tell ‘im at least you got the diagnosis. Make him feel like he’s the stupid one. And if a teacher ever pulls some shit about the way you learn, tell ‘em you’ll go to the board of education and personally get their asses fired. Your mom would fight for you.”

“No she wouldn’t.”

“Then dammit I would. Your friends would if they understood. I know Sinclair would kick ass for you.”

Max’s toughness finally cracks- she learned that from him, to put on that hard exterior and fake it- Billy's determination stronger than her stubbornness. She looks up at him with a look in her eye that says he’s said all the right things, “You really think so?”

“No shit. Big brothers know all about this kind of bull.”

“I guess.” Max smiles just a little, and tells him matter-of-factly, “But you’re not that kind of big brother. You’re too cool.”

“Hell yeah I am.” Billy hums proudly, adding with humor in his tone, “But it’s even more cool to be nice to your little sister than it is to be an asshole. Remember that one.”

Max nods, listing it off on her fingers, “Stand up for myself, but don’t be an asshole, and Billy's secretly a big softie. I think I got it.”

“Good. Now out of my car, shitbird.”

Giggling in that way that says she knows she got him, Max swings open her door and runs into the house, leaving Billy to watch after her. He turns off the car but doesn’t get out, trying to bury his worry for her under his expression, not because he didn’t care, or even because he didn’t want her to know, he was long past that, but because he was worried what would happen if Susan saw his concern.

She’d weasel the truth out of Max if she knew something was up, and somehow, despite her promises, Neil would find out once he dragged his ass back home from the bar later tonight, and then it would somehow be Billy’s fault. He just hopes, if Max lets slip about the bullying, she at least doesn’t get too mouthy and mention the part where she was crying.

That was a Friday when that all went down, so Billy has the weekend, which thankfully does not include any snitching, to decide what he’s going to do about it. It’s not like he was ever going to go beat up on any tweens anyways, but he promised Max he wouldn’t be dumb, and he knew that meant no passive aggressive bullshit either. At least not while she could see him.

Because that ruled out like, half of his options, he’s still kind of clueless on what he’s going to do that next Monday morning when schools back in. He’s sitting in the middle school parking lot, fingers twitching against the steering wheel without a cigarette to busy them with, waiting for 7:30 on the dot when Max always goes in.

At this point, he’s considering just ditching with her to go get ice cream or something so she doesn’t have to face any bullies today, but his epiphany comes in the form of watching Jonathan Byers walk the littler one all the way to the front doors, his hand protectively hooked through the handle on the kid’s backpack. When the clock ticks the right time and Max opens her door, he knows what he’s going to do, and he turns the car off.

She freezes, can tell he’s up to something. “What are you doing?”

“Nothin’. M’just walking you in.” She glares at him in response to the smug smile he wears, so he swears, “Honest. I got basketball today. No way I’m missing that shit ‘cause I fought some little kid.”

“You’re lying.”

“Can’t I just be nice to my little sister?”

From the look on her face, she’s still skeptical, but it's enough to get Max to agree to it, grabbing her bag from the backseat and mumbling, “Whatever. Just don’t embarrass me.”

Billy chuckles, giving Max a head start towards the building before he follows, “Hey now, I thought just yesterday I was your cool older brother.”

“Cool older brothers don’t walk their sisters to the door.” She calls it over her shoulder, and Billy can’t help but tease her more, correcting her in a sing-songy voice, “Who said I was stoppin’ at the door? I’m walking you all the way to your class.”

“Oh god.” Max stops walking, but Billy keeps up, this time pulling ahead enough to call back to her, “Come on shitbird. Don’t wanna be late.”

“I hate you so much.”

“Yeah, right. You love that I would take the time outta my morning to do this for you.” He props open the door for Max with his boot, pretending not to notice the way all the little middle school kids at their lockers turn to gawk at them, letting her shove past him with her face flushed deeper than the color of her hair in embarrassment.

Pulling on her backpack straps, like she’s trying to physically make herself smaller, she mumbles, “No, I actually hate you.”

He almost feels bad for embarrassing her, but that’s the other part of his job, and he reminds her of that, “Good. There’s some more advice for ya, little sisters should always hate their big brothers, or he’s doing something wrong.”

They get a little ways down the hall, Max’s confidence going up just some as the shock wears off and people start to turn away, but Billy hardly notices. He doesn’t even come close to being bothered by eighth grade politics anymore, and if he’s intimidating the poor kids, well that’s exactly what he’s there for.

When he’s met with a particularly harsh glare from some snob nosed brat, who happens to remind him a lot of one Tommy Hagan, he bumps into Max on purpose, and announces louder than he needs to in hopes the kid’ll know he was looking for him, “That the little asshole s’been givin’ you trouble?”

Glancing nervously between him and Billy, she nods, “Yeah..”

Billy just nods, a cross between acknowledgment and judgement, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You said-“ Again Max panics, but Billy cuts her off this time with a simple assurance of, “And I didn’t do anything.”

Her eyebrows knit together, realizing that that wasn’t a lie, “I.. guess you didn’t.”

“What’s your first class anyways?”

“We report to the cafeteria before first period.” She informs him, leading him that way, but he hooks two fingers through the strap on her bag to stop her, “Not gonna happen, Maxi. Being shoved in a tiny room with three hundred other kids makes you feel all ‘meltdowny’ I think was your exact word. So you’re not doin’ that anymore. I just decided.”

“But that’s against the rules.”

“Yeah, so’s me bein’ in this building during school hours, but nobody’s saying shit to me, are they?”

Max narrows her eyes at him then, and he knows he said too much, that he’s been found out, “That’s your plan isn’t it.”

There’s a crooked smile on his face he can’t hide as he plays innocent-like, “What is?”

Max pushes him a little and he pretends to misstep while she accuses him, “Coming into school and being all intimidating so nobody will bug me anymore.”

“Pfft, yeah right.” Billy denies again, getting nothing but an eye roll in response at first, but when it’s clear it’s he’s not going to give up and admit it, Max does, glancing shortly over at him, “Well thanks anyways, Billy.”

She adds, realizing he’s wandering with no idea where they’re going, having never been in the middle school himself, “My first class is in B-18.”

“Which one is’at?” He asks, just curious, but Max deflects the question, giving a short, “It’s taught by Mr. Clarke.”

Just from how quiet she is, Billy can tell that she's hiding something, “Max. You seriously don’t even know what class you’re in?”

“No I don’t, okay?” Max stops in the middle of the hallway, ranting at her brother, “It’s already not the same as my old school, and then they moved my schedule all around again after they decided I didn’t qualify for special ed, so now I just go where I’m s’posed to, and I know my teachers better than my classes.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

“No. There’s nothing anyone can do so it doesn’t matter.” Her tone implies she thought a lot about it, maybe even wanted to, but decided not to.

Billy insists right back, these past two days feeling like he’s constantly petitioning for Max to trust and rely on him, “Oh I could do somethin’. You know I could.”

“I do. But I don’t want you to. Sticking up for me is enough.”

That’s what makes Billy understand. The firmness in her voice says everything she needs him to hear: Max doesn’t want Billy to do for her what she can handle. This is bigger than just being the older brother. This is her setting boundaries, asking for help without wanting to be controlled. That’s something he never really got how to do, being raised by a dictator and all, but it’s something she needs. Sometimes he forgets that.

He doesn’t say anything else, just lets it sit while Max takes him down some stairs to the right room. She stops outside, scuffing up the dusty marble floors with the toe of her Chuck Taylor’s, “Could you.. stick around for a little bit in case he says something?”

Billy clicks his tongue, remarking, “I dunno. I got a class in a few..”

But his sarcasm falls short with Max, which, that’s his bad for not realizing that it would, and her face falls, “Oh, well I guess I can just-”

“Was just funnin’ you shitbird. I don’t give a fuck about my classes.” Max grimaces in that all too familiar way of uncertainty, so he promises, “I’ll be right out here. Go talk to your teacher, ‘n if he says some shit to you, remember I only promised not be stupid about the bully.”

He at least gets a smile for that one, before Max rolls her eyes, “You’re not fighting my science teacher, dummy.”

“Whatever. Just get in there, brat.”

He can see Max holding back a smile as she listens, bounding into her classroom with another quick glance back at Billy to check that he wasn’t lying and going to walk away.

Billy waits until the door fall closed to lean against the row of lockers opposite it, watching her through the little meshed over windows. By now, he’s pretty well versed on what arguments with angry authority figures look like, and the conversation between Max and her teacher is not one. He still stays though, just because Max asked him to, but maybe, just maybe a little for himself, a reassurance that the second he leaves shit isn’t going to get worse, and Max’ll have at least someone other than her equally as nerdy little friends behind her.

Then they both turn and give him a little wave, Max and her teacher, an acknowledgment to Billy that this new routine was indeed going to work out. The way the school district had handled everything else, he wonders if the guy even knew Max wasn’t like his other students until now.

Still, seeing that, Billy gives a half nod in response, and decides his job is done here, at least until tomorrow when he does the same. Max’ll get used to it, and his hope is that the little bully brats won’t. He’ll just have to keep them on their toes.

Which is exactly why, while on his way out, Billy has to break his promise to Max, just slightly, and do something dumb. He finds the Troy kid again, and waits until the little punk is at his peak to knock him down a few pegs.

He’s complaining about some teacher, which is pretty typical for a thirteen-fourteen year old kid, but the other things he’s said to Max make it not as relatable, not as innocent. So he does what any logical, mature adult would do, and scares the piss out of him.

Billy waits until the kid gets a laugh from his troop of assholes, and slams the locker door beside him shut, uncaring of who’s it was. All eyes are quickly on him, all too wide against too pale faces. It’s too easy.

“What are you little shits whining about over here?”

The one in charge steps forward, trying to be tough despite the way he has to practically bend backwards to look up at Billy’s face, “None of your business. Did the freak send you after us to scare us? It ain’t gonna work.”

“Oh I’m not here to scare you. I’m just here to give you your final warning. We’re past the point of intimidation. Matter of fact, next time I have to come here.. it won’t be looking so good for you.”

“You’re lying.” The kid accuses, despite the obvious doubt written behind his features.

Billy can work with that.

“I might be. But I’m still an authority figure over your sorry little asses, and if you don’t start respecting that..” He bends down a little further, still nowhere near the kid but making his whole troupe flinche back, and drops his pitch, “well, I can’t promise what’ll happen to ya, but unlike your teachers, I don’t play by the rules. You got that?”

Straightening himself back out, Billy pretends to start walking away before he adds, “Oh, and if you pick on my kid sister ever again, I will know. Just remember that, uh, Troy was it?”

The kid nods dumbly, literally vibrating with something like fear, and Billy can say he’s pretty satisfied with that. He pats the kid on the shoulder, a touch so gentle it wouldn’t’ve hurt a fly, and notably couldn’t get him in any trouble, but the little shit scampers off, three other puffy head bullies trailing after him.

Everyone sees it happen, Billy with his nasty smirk and his distinguishably high-schooler way of carrying himself, Troy running for the hills in the other direction. He leaves feeling like his point has been thoroughly proven.

It isn’t easy to make Maxine Mayfield cry, but it’s even harder to get away with it, and Billy knows it won’t be a problem from now on.

[holylulusworld]

One year later – my baby girl, her mother and I (4)

Summary: Happy family – happy ending?

Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader

Character: Sam Winchester, John Winchester

Warnings: angst, daddy!Dean, language, soft!Dean, fluff, fun

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

One year later masterlist

“Sweetheart, you need to calm down,” Dean tries to calm your daughter for half an hour, refusing to let you calm her. “Daddy is here, Sofia Rose. Let me just,” your daughter cries like she wants to make sure the whole neighborhood can hear her.

“Dean let me check on her. She’s moody and won’t let you calm her,” reluctantly Dean places your daughter into your arms. “Look at you baby girl. You scared your daddy there for a minute. Let’s calm down.” walking toward the living room you silently coo your daughter, rock her in your arms.

“Can I help? What do you need, Y/N?” panicked Dean watches you sit onto the sofa to free one of your breasts. He shyly watches you feed your daughter, a soft smile on his lips. “I guess that’s something I can’t do.” laughing you look up at Dean, shaking your head. “Anything else I can do?”

“Just sit here and calm, Dean. Sometimes you need to figure out what’s wrong with a baby. Usually, she doesn’t wake before dawn. I guess she knew her daddy is still around and wanted to give him the full 'daddy experience'." you giggle at Dean’s pained expression. He’s still worried about your daughter, even though, she happily suckles at your breast.

“She calmed,” Dean gently strokes your baby girl’s head, smiling as you whisper soothing words. “You’re a great mother. I must learn so much more about babies and how to help you.”

”Dean, I am no wonder woman or something. It’s called instinct, okay. Most of the time you need to find out if a baby is hungry, tired, or needs a fresh diaper. I got routine, is all. If you spend more time with Sofia, you’ll know how to calm her soon enough.”

“More time,” Dean nods eagerly when you gently pat your daughter’s back, snickering as she burps. “Whoa, she’s as loud as her daddy.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing,” laughing you watch Dean impatiently squirm on his seat. “Do you want to hold her?”

“Can I? I mean, do you think she wants me to hold her?” holding out his arms Dean smiles when you carefully place your daughter into his arms. You smirk when he presses your daughter to his chest, kissing her head repeatedly. “Such a good-“ Dean looks at you, a pained expression on his face.

“Aw, did your good girl spit onto your favorite shirt, Dean?” grinning you watch Dean look at his daughter, giving her a disapproving look before his features soften.

“Such a good girl, Sofia. Look at you, spitting onto daddy’s shirt. Only big girls can see my breasts,” Dean carefully lies your daughter onto the couch to strip his shirt off. “See, no milk.”

“Dean, god,” you snort, as your daughter looks up at Dean with big and wet eyes before she starts to cry. “I guess you shouldn’t have stripped. Sofia doesn’t like you naked.”

“But you do,” he grins. “Now let me calm my baby girl. I guess we need to confirm I got no milk for her. Let’s see.”

“Fed, clean and tired,” humming to himself Dean rocks your baby girl. He looks at Sofia in his arms, a content smile on his lips. “I think tonight she will sleep better if we don’t put her into that cradle. How about we let her sleep in your bed?”

“Dean, shouldn’t you go home?” you sigh, knowing he doesn’t want to go home. “Okay, one more night, Dean. Tomorrow you need to go home.”

“What about the zoo? We didn’t go today, sweetheart. I want to go to the zoo,” Dean pouts like a four-year-old, gives you his best puppy dog eyes. “Please, Y/N. Only Sofia, you and I.”

“Okay, tomorrow we will go to the zoo, but you need to go home tomorrow night. I must work on Monday and you are distracting as hell,” Dean grins, stepping closer to you give you a once over.

“Distracting, huh? Is that a new fancy word for hot?” you hate the grin on his lips, just like the way his eyes roam your body. “I know you want to get me naked too.”

“Shall I spit onto your shirt, daddy?” you give Dean a wink, knowing all too well he gives you a dirty grin when you turn around to change into your pajamas. “Or will you strip your shirt off on free terms?”

“Anytime, Y/N. Name the time and place and I’ll strip my shirt off for you,” self-confident Dean sits onto your bed, watches his daughter in his arms. “She’s as beautiful as you are, sweetheart. We did a great job.”

“Did you send the picture to your family?” Dean nods silently, gives you a sly smile as he tells you Sam and his father loved the picture.

“John Winchester doesn’t talk about feelings or babies, but he said she’s the most beautiful little girl he ever saw. My family, they asked me if you want to spend Christmas with us. I said that I must ask you first. I didn’t know how to tell them no,” Dean awkwardly looks at you, dares not to ask you to join him and his family on Christmas. “I understand if you don’t want to.”

“At the mansion?” nodding Dean smiles as Sofia grasps for his finger. “How many people will be there, Dean? I don’t want too many people around.”

“Sammy, dad, and I,” Dean hopefully looks at you, gives you a soft smile. “Dad said your mom should come too.”

“I can ask her,” clearing your throat you look at Sofia. Her eyes flutter shut, and you sigh when your baby girl makes a cute noise. “All days of Christmas or only one?”

“That’s up to you, sweetheart,” nervously chewing on his lower lip Dean meets your gaze. “All days if you want to, or just one. Dad said whatever you decide.”

“I will ask my mom if she wants to come too. Since my father’s death she never attended a party,” you sniffle, hiding how much you still miss your father. “I was the same, I guess. If she wants to come, I’ll come too.”

“T-that’s great,” Dean tries to not freak out but the smile on his lips gives him away. “Sammy will freak out. He will love Sofia Rose.”

“Okay, now let’s sleep a bit. If you want to go to the zoo tomorrow we will need a bit more sleep than last night, Dean.”

“Look, that’s a tiger,” Dean excitedly shows your daughter, who prefers to close her eyes again, the next wild animal. “He’s a tough guy. Strong and fast, baby girl. We don’t want that guy to come over and eat my cute daughter.”

“Dean, she’s asleep and,” you giggle, patting his cheek. “the guy is a girl according to the information over there.”

“A girl can be a tough guy too,” Sofia coos, blinks her eyes open for a moment as Dean’s deep voice fills her ears. “Look, our baby girl is awake. Bet she wanted to see the lady tiger.”

“How about we have a look at the apes? I like the gorillas,” poking Dean’s arm you jerk your head toward the gorillas.

Dean pushes the stroller, chest puffed as he shows off his child. “Dean? Did you listen, Dean?”

“You like apes,” he looks at your daughter, sighs deeply as she’s fast asleep. “She’s a sleepyhead, Y/N. What do we do with her?”

“Let her sleep,” giggling you look at Sofia Rose who ignores her father’s wish to show her more animals. “She’s barely four months, baby. Let her sleep and you can tell her about the elephants and lions later.”

“You think so?” Dean dips his head to glance at you next to him, not wanting to admit he heard you called him ‘baby’. “How about we order food and watch that movie you like so much or cartoons?”

“Deal, Mr. Winchester. Now let’s have a look at the lions,” Sofia blinks her eyes open for a moment and Dean, well Dean, sniffs as it seems she looked him straight in the eyes. 

“She looked at me, Y/N. Look,” grumbling Dean points toward your daughter. The little girl’s eyes are closed again but Dean insists she looked up at her daddy. “I swear she looked at me, sweetheart. I bet; she wants to keep an eye on her daddy.”

“Well, keeping an eye on you isn’t a bad idea…”

A month later…

“Merry Christmas,” it feels awkward to be at John Winchester’s house as you are still unsure if you want to give Dean a second chance. “I didn’t know what you like so I bought wine and Scotch.”

“A girl my taste,” John rumbles before he wraps you in a tight hug. “Finally, I get to know the girl stealing my son’s heart and giving me a grandchild. Merry Christmas to you too, doll. Welcome to my house and I hope you’ll give Dean a second chance.”

“My mom will come tomorrow. She stays at her brother’s house tonight. If it’s okay, I’d like to stay over Christmas,” Dean holds Sofia Rose in his arms, rocks her gently as his brother tries to take her out of his brother’s arms.

“Let me hold my niece, Dean,” Sam grunts, fighting for your baby girl. “Dean, come on, don’t be like that. She’s so cute. Good thing she looks like her mom.”

“Bitch,” getting the word out Dean glares up at his brother. “I will not let you touch my baby girl, sasquatch. You’ll drop her or something.” Protectively shielding your daughter from his brother, Dean glares at Sam. “I will let you hold her after you washed your hands.”

“Dude, I washed my hands not moments ago,” Dean cocks a brow, glances at his brother’s hands before he shakes his head furiously. “I swear.”

“I do not trust you, Sammy. Go, wash your hands and we can talk about holding my daughter. I don’t know where your hands have been,” you snicker as Dean stays adamant. “No one will touch her!”

“Dean, I don’t think Sam touched anything dangerous. Let him hold your daughter,” not liking the way his brother smirks at him Dean steps backward. “Dean, let Sam hold her for a moment.”

“No, she’s too small. He could hurt her with his large hands, Y/N. Look at the paws he calls his hands. I will not let him hold my baby girl,” Sam snickers at his brother’s behavior.

“I suggest we all go to the living room, wash our hands, and can have a closer look at my granddaughter,” John leads you toward the living room, smirking as Dean walks next to you. “She’s a cute little girl, son. You’re one lucky man to have a beautiful woman and a sweet daughter. Be thankful.”

“So, your father wants us to believe there is only one bed?” you snicker as Dean tries to tell you there is no other free room at his father’s large house. “Such a cliché, Dean.”

“Sorry, he thought the ‘there is only one-bed’ trick is funny or something,” shuffling from one foot to the other Dean glances at you. “At least he got a cradle for Sofia.”

“Unbelievable,” laughing you sit onto the bed. “Sam told me to give you a second chance. Your father tells us there is only one room and we don’t want to talk about your godfather Bobby calling you an idjit but a good one,” you sigh, patting the spot next to you. “What do you want, Dean?”

“This isn’t about me, so much did I learn, sweetheart,” Dean sits next to you, grasping for your hand. “It’s about me, Sofia, and her beautiful mom. The question is – what do you want, Y/N?"

>> Part 5 (FIN)

Tags in reblog.

[halcyonstorm]

Ahhh my final submission for LH drabble week: Angst Monday (yes i posted it on a tuesday)! Please enjoy and comment your thoughts and feedback. @levihan-drabbles

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë Characters: Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoë Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 126: Pride Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 126: Pride, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 132: Wings of Freedom Spoilers, Angst and Feels, right person wrong time, What-If Series: Part 8 of Short Fics Summary:

They just wanted an ending.

The sound of the shotgun rang in Hange’s ears as she shot two of her ex-soldiers dead, tears trickling down her face. She hated that it had to end up like this. She had known them personally, too. The whole world was against them. She took a deep sigh. After surveying the forest and deeming it safe, she returned back to Levi’s side. He was unconscious with Hange’s Survey Corps cloak wrapped around his face. Her heart ached when she started unraveling the cloak, exposing his injured, tainted face. The biggest scar ran from the top of his forehead, through his right eye, into his cheek. She felt herself get overwhelmed seeing him in this shape.

“The pursuers are all gone, Levi…” It’s safe, for now, she wanted to say. You’re safe with me. She knew this was temporary, though. They would never truly be safe again.

-

Hange had begun to set up camp. She pitched a tent, chopped at trees and gathered sticks to start a fire and was able to clean Levi’s wounds and body. He could develop an infection if she didn’t act fast. After all, she wasn’t sure how long he’d been face down in the mud unconscious. She started with his hand, using a wet cloth to clean the dirt as gently as she possibly could. Then, she wrapped his exposed wound, starting at his wrist and weaving the bandage around the empty space on his hand. She brought his hand to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on top. It broke her heart to see him in such critical condition.

After his hand, she tended to his face. She dampened her cloth in the basin of water, slowly and gently caressing his face to clean off the dirt and mud. She took this moment to indulge in admiring him. He looked peaceful, at least for that moment. She brushed his raven black hair out of his face, patting his gash with the cloth, blood crusted on the scar. His skin was smooth as she couldn’t resist the urge to touch his cheek with the back of her hand. His eyelashes were long and straight which she never noticed before. She had never been this close to him before. She made her way down his face to his lips. She dunked the cloth in the basin again, wringing it out, and then dabbed at his lips to cleanse them. As she cleaned him, she felt tears well up in her eyes. 

“The fact that you're still alive with these wounds is because you’re an Ackerman,” she determined, starting to sterilize her needles in the fire. She grabbed the thread and started to stitch his face. She was careful, making sure to only go as deep as she needed to avoid causing more pain. Her heart throbbed in her chest when she imagined how much pain he was in. I wish it were me instead. She thought. After carefully poking and prodding at his face, stitching him up as well as she could, she dumped her tools into a pot of boiling water to be cleansed. She ran a hand through her hair, gripping a chunk of it and squeezing, tempted to pull it out. She felt like she was going to explode. After everything her and Eren had been through, he still turned his back on her and her soldiers. Rage boiled up inside her, poisoning every cell in her body. 

Why couldn’t things be different? She’d ask herself.

“I’d rather the two of us just live here. Right, Levi?” She said softly aloud, turning to look at Levi’s unconscious face. Her selfish ideas spilled from her mouth and into the ears of her partner. She truly wanted to live with him. She wanted a life with him. She wanted to wake up with him every morning, make him tea, explore the forest, forget about the shitty world they were born into for even just a moment. She was grateful he was unconscious and couldn’t hear her. She allowed the tears to flow for just a brief period. No one was around, she was safe to let it go. Her exhale was shaky as her throat tightened. She blinked and hot tears came rushing down. She covered her face with her hands, allowing herself to cry. Not just cry… to sob. Her heart felt as if it was being torn apart strand by strand. Like someone physically shoved their hands inside her chest, pulling it apart. She felt a strong urge to scream, but she covered her mouth tightly with her hand, allowing a few moans to escape.

All she wanted was peace. She wanted all the suffering to end. She wanted Levi to be healthy and happy. She wanted to explore the world with him, try new things with him. There was so much she wanted to do couldn’t, and she knew that. When she joined the Survey Corps, she knew what she signed up for. She wasn’t afraid to die for the cause, but she just wanted Levi to be happy. She knew how deeply he had suffered. He lost his mother, Isabel, Farlan, Gunther, Eld, Petra, Oulo, Mike, Erwin, and countless more soldiers. She would do everything in her power to make him happy and not just survive but to truly live.

Later that evening, she began to work on building the cart to carry Levi. She contemplated carrying him on her back, but it was unrealistic. She was strong, but not strong enough to carry him for possibly days on end. She was working on hammering a nail into the wheel when there was a crash of lightning. Suddenly, she was knelt in soft, white sand. The sky shone turquoise behind her. She placed her makeshift hammer down, leaving an imprint on the sand. She put her hands on the ground to help her stand up. That is where she saw a familiar tall man with his dark brown hair tied in a knot. He was facing away from her, sitting in the sand with his knees to his chest. She slowly walked up to him, sand filling her shoes.

“Eren?” The man turned his head to face Hange. She is hesitant to sit down, but he waves her over to him.

“Hange-san,” he began. “I am sorry for everything.”

“Wh… What are you talking about?”

“You’re going to die soon,” he admitted, drawing circles in the sand. “Levi will try to stop you, but you can’t let him.”

“I don’t understand… how do you know all this?”

“This is all a part of my plan to eradicate the Titans…” he muttered. “But I am sorry it has to end this way. I know how much you and Levi care for each other. It will be painful, I will admit. But it is for a good cause.” 

Hange shook her head in confusion. “What the hell? What will happen to Levi? Isn’t there another way?”

“No… There's no other way. Levi will be survive in the end. Don’t worry about that.” He had already made up his mind. “I am sorry. Go inside. Levi is waiting for you.” As Eren spoke, he pointed into the distance. Suddenly, they weren’t in the sand staring at the turquoise sky anymore. They were in a similar forest with tall pine trees. There was a small cabin with smoke exiting through the chimney. The cabin looked like it was something Hange and Levi could’ve made themselves. She opened the door hesitantly to find Levi sitting in the rocking chair, a cup of hot tea in his hand. 

“Hange, you’re home,” Levi said, pleasantly surprised. She noticed his scar was present, clean and healed. He didn’t wear an eyepatch like she did. His right eye was white and cloudy. He stood up slowly, placed his tea cup in the tea dish, and walked towards her. She was able to admire his outfit. He wasn’t in his military gear, but in a beige sweater and grey trousers. He looked comfortable and at peace, which is what Hange always wanted for him. She was at a loss for words.

“What is this?” 

“This is the most I can give you, Hange-san. A life with Levi.” She felt tears well up in her eyes. “I can let you stay here a little while longer.” Eren disappeared when she looked back to where she heard his voice. She looked at Levi, placing her hands on his cheeks. Levi’s lips curled into a small, sad smile.

“Look at our house, Hange,” he said, gesturing towards the center of the room. She looked away from him to admire the house. Their house. It was very cozy: it had two large burgundy sofas against the back and right wall, a fireplace in the center of the living room which had fierce flames. Levi led her to the kitchen and dining room. The kitchen had off-white square tiles as the floor and wooden cabinets, as well as a stove. There was a wooden table with two chairs. It made Hange’s heart swell, even bringing tears to her eyes. They did get to live together in another life.

“Levi…” she whimpered, looking at him again. He grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers.

“We’ll be here again, one day…” Levi said. Suddenly, she felt a breeze flow through her hair. Then, the house started to fade into nothingness and blow away. Levi was the last to disappear. Hange felt herself reaching out and grasping for him, begging him to come back. 

Then, she was back to reality; hammer in hand, arm in the air, ready to swing.

What just happened? She asked herself. She felt as if she had taken a long nap, dreaming of a place so distant. She swore she had a dream, but it was long forgotten, deep in her unconscious mind. A tear was streaming down her face, her heart pounding in her chest, as if she just woke up from a nightmare.

“Don’t tell me… Eren… the world…” she muttered. The words came spewing out of her mouth for a reason unknown to her. “LEVI!” She turned to look at her partner only to find out he’d woken up. He was attempting to sit up.

“That damned beast titan…” he groaned, pain overwhelming him. 

“You don’t need to get up,” Hange insisted, placing her hands gently on his chest. He eased back to his previous supine position. “What happened?” He briefly explained what happened, how Zeke was prepared to die for the cause. Hange sighed. She could barely handle the thought of what happened. She did hear the thunder spear go off, after all… She felt guilt tug at her damaged heart. Maybe she could’ve prevented it.

“I know you’re full of regret, but for now…” She was interrupted.

“What's left if we run and hide like this?” Levi asked, looking her in the eyes so fiercely she couldn’t look away.  She felt her face turn red and hot.

“So, you heard my soliloquy, huh…” She mustered up the strength to look away. She was embarrassed, but then she realized he didn’t reject her. He said ‘what if we run away and hide like this?’ Him, her, together. He looked past her shoulder.

“What is that? Are you planning to pull me by horse? I know you, you aren’t able to stay out of the action…” She noticed his eyes were starting to appear wet… was he tearing up?

“That’s right. I can’t.” Hange sighed, looking into her lap.

The two knew what was to come; Hange and Levi knew what was coming from the moment they joined the Survey Corps. Duty first. Love second. They yearned to be together, but they knew that they had met each other at the worst time. Perhaps in another life, they would find peace. They would find freedom from this terrible world and find comfort in each other. They just wanted an ending. An ending to the war, an ending to the suppression of true emotions, an ending to the strain on their hearts since the first day of joining the military. They didn’t care where or how, as long as it was an ending together.

[hd-wireless]

🎶 H/D WIRELESS FEST - REVEALS 🎶

At last, the day you’ve been waiting for! It’s the REVEALS! 

Come check out the talented people who created your favourite Wireless fics and artworks!

Massive thanks once again to all the 54 creators of our 64 works (yes some people created multiple works! Special mention to cloudlesslysky who wrote FIVE fics!). And thanks also to all the readers, betas and supporters of H/D Wireless! It’s been a bumper year!

Without further ado...

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 Stuck on the Bridge Between Us (G)  by pygmy_puffy @pygmy-puffy

🎵 Song prompt: Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan

🎵 Summary: finding the courage within themselves to be vulnerable, so they can stop hurting the other and start loving each other as they so deeply want and need to

📻  So Let's Dance, Take a Chance, Understand Me (T) by Dazed_and_Inked @dazedandinked

🎵 Song prompt: T.Rex, Get It On

🎵 Summary: The War is over and everything has changed.

After a few of years of travelling around the world, Harry decided to move to Muggle London, looking for peace and a place where the scar on his forehead doesn’t have a meaning. His new flat is in a perfectly normal neighbourhood close to the centre, quiet during the day but full of students at night.

He really likes the small bar down the road, a place that serves cheap, awful drinks and plays good old classics. It’s always crammed with people talking, laughing or dancing along with the riff of electric guitars.

From the first time he crossed the threshold, Harry thought it was perfect, the right mix of noise and warmth to be alone without feeling alone. Just what he needed.

He couldn’t imagine that someone else was there for the very same reason, looking for a place where the Dark Mark was only a tattoo.

Blame it on the alcohol, on the music or whatever you want, but when Harry’s eyes landed on Draco’s slim figure, swaying on the dancefloor, something warm and inexplicable possessed him. 

📻  The Pass (T) by julchen_in_red @julcheninred

🎵 Song prompt: The Pass, by Rush

🎵 Summary: Draco, lost in darkness, seeks a guiding light.

📻  If you knew… (T) by gnarf @gnarf

🎵 Song prompt: Young Folks from Peter Bjorn and John

🎵 Summary: The war had left scars on all of them.  Some were obvious. Some only if they looked closely. But the worst ones were those they couldn't see. Those that were hidden inside.

📻  an ode to the boy i love (G) by nettleforest @nettleforest

🎵 Song prompt: Animal - Troye Sivan

🎵 Summary: an evocation of vulnerability, trust and tenderness

📻  Home Sweet Home (G) by gnarf @gnarf

🎵Song prompt: Radioactive - Imagine Dragons

🎵 Summary: In the middle of a Zombie apocalypse Harry made it his main goal to find a safe home for Draco and himself.

📻  Turn back time (T)  bt erlasart @erlasart

🎵 Song prompt: If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher

🎵 Summary: Draco's had a rough few years, if that's what you call falling in with a bad lot, attempted murder and a close brush with death. Now facing the weight of his misdeeds, Draco tries to pinpoint when it all went wrong.

📻  Time to Get Out (T)  by SoldSeperately @secretartlair

🎵 Song prompt: My House - PVRIS

🎵 Summary: A few years post-war, Pansy convinces Draco to go on a night out at a muggle club. They run into some familiar faces.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art and Fic 🎶

📻  A Different Kind of Meaning (E, 17k) by p103 @p103 (art by Zigster)

🎵 Song prompt: Outnumbered - Dermot Kennedy

🎵 Summary: The ceiling doesn't hold any answers, but there are cobwebs scattered across the corners with shadows tangled in their threads. The rug against his back is rough and scratchy, threadbare and devoid of colours other than various shades of brown. Harry takes it all in, absorbs the dingy and depressed state of his home. There's a pointed moment of decision, a note about to be played, a silence about to end, and then he rolls to his feet and sets to cleaning.

It's the first constructive thing he's done in years. 

📻  Keep Holding On (M, 33k) by gnarf @gnarf (fic) and MaesterChill @maesterchill (art)

🎵 Song prompt: Welshly Arms - Sanctuary

🎵 Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget.

Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state.

Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse.

Making new alleys, and losing old ones on the way, would hopefully be worth it in the end.

📻 Fic : Modern Love (E, 61k) by tackytiger @tackytigerfic

📻 Art : Our Love Song (G) by chachisoo @creeeee

🎵 Song prompt: Modern Love by David Bowie

🎵 Fic summary: Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what's he doing right, that Harry isn’t?

Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years.

And that’s what starts it all.  

🎵 Art summary: Harry and Draco enjoying a Sunday morning bus ride in London.

📻  For the Thousandth Time (T, 14k) by bluefay @thesleepiesthufflepuff (fic) and mehroomiyat (art)

🎵 Song Prompt: Lucky by Aurora

🎵 Summary: When Draco's wand refuses to work after the war, he turns to Harry for help. 

📻 Fic : Returning Tides (E, 24.5k) by Zigster @zigster-ao3

📻 Art : Love Will Tear Us Apart (G) by Zigster @zigster-ao3

🎵 Song prompt: Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division 

🎵 Fic summary: 

Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives

🎵 Art summary: Art piece to accompany the fic ‘Returning Tides’, based on the song claim, 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division ***** Harry's brooding while straddling a motorbike. Need I say more?

📻  That Sweet Sweet Craving (E, 33.2k) by TheUltimateUndesirable @ultimateundesirable

🎵 Song prompt: Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons 

🎵 Summary: Harry is miserable living a lie because he thinks being a gay role model is wrong. Fake dates raising money for a charity that ends up putting him in a situation he had never expected. Draco Malfoy appears back in his life by some odd chance trying to flip his world upside down and he isn't sure it's a good thing. Malfoy always worked that way to him. Mental health issues, sex, escaping, and that sweet sweet craving of happiness.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻  Follow the Water (T, 38.2k) by xanthippe74 @xanthippe74

🎵 Song prompt: “Follow the Water” by Calexico/Iron & Wine

🎵 Summary: Harry Potter’s life is fine. Maybe a little dull and predictable, but he shouldn’t complain about that, right? When he unexpectedly finds himself at Luna’s house one afternoon, Harry gets invited to join the secret wonderland that she’s creating with a surprising group of friends. Maybe a summer outdoors is just what a former hero needs to bring some zest back into his life.

📻  Life goes not backward (T, 8.8k) by shealwaysreads @shealwaysreads 

🎵 Song prompt: Daughter by Loudon Wainwright

🎵 Summary: Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different.

A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love. 

📻  The Way We Used To Love (E, 5.3k) by Zzzara @big-draco-energy

🎵 Song prompt: 'Used to Love' by Martin Garrix & Dean Lewis

🎵 Summary: Is there hope when what is not enough for the one happens to be too much for the other? 

📻  but if you close your eyes (T, 3.3k) by cloudlesslysky @cloudlesslysky 

🎵 Song prompt: Pompeii by Bastille

🎵 Summary: The New Magic Order is trying to take over Wizarding Britain. They're not the Death Eaters, but they're not any better either.

The lines of alliance have shifted, but Harry is still on the front lines working tirelessly to stop them.

📻  Haunt the corner of my eye (T, 23k) by harryromper @harryromper

🎵 Song prompt: Echoes of You - Marianas Trench

🎵 Summary: Harry’s life is very much on track. After a successful career as an Auror, he’s set to become the youngest ever Minister for Magic. But strange things are starting to happen at Grimmauld Place. Items he doesn’t recognise are appearing left and right, and somehow he never feels quite alone. There’s only one thing Harry knows for sure: it has something to do with Draco Malfoy.

📻  Now that the spring is in the air (T, 5.7k) by cloudlesslysky @cloudlesslysky 

🎵 Song prompt: Seasons in the Sun by Westlife

🎵 Summary: A surprise attack in Diagon Alley leaves Draco struggling to make peace with the fact that he won't live long enough to experience his own wedding.

📻  Seven Days to Monday (M, 11.7k) by static_abyss @static_abyss

🎵 Song prompt: Say Something - A Great Big World

🎵 Summary: There are seven days before Harry has to meet Draco for the final signing of their divorce papers. It's been months and the surprise at finding nothing but more cold sheets and an empty pillow next to him still catches Harry unaware. He doesn't know where they go from here. Whether it's possible to go anywhere after everything that's happened between them.

📻  Blond Brew (E, 30.4k) by MicheleBlack @micheleblack

🎵 Song prompt: “Blondes” by Waterparks

🎵 Summary: A blond roast with soy milk makes Draco's morning, but a pair of green eyes makes his week.

📻  A Series of Nonsensical Events (T, 12.8k) by CoffeeCurse @coffee-curse

🎵 Song prompt: My Gospel by Charlie Puth

🎵 Summary: Malfoy is up to something. When Harry and the other Aurors are called into a Gringotts break-in and find him the culprit, Harry’s at a total loss.

But things only get weirder from then on.

📻  Ignore the Truth (E, 2.6k) by static_abyss @static_abyss

🎵 Song prompt: Dangerously - Charlie Puth

🎵 Summary: "Longtime on-again-off-again lovers Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were caught in a compromising position in one the Ministry's lifts yesterday evening. While fans of the couple are optimistic, there's still doubt as to whether or not this particular reconciliation will last. When asked directly about the nature of his relationship with Draco Malfoy, the Boy Who Lived had simply this to say, 'Fuck right off, we're busy.'"

- The Daily Prophet, "Love Is In The Air," 28th Oct. 2005.   

📻  Your Daddy Knows (You're A Flame) (E, 27.8k) by Ladderofyears @ladderofyears

🎵 Song prompt: Babyfather by Sade (2010)

🎵 Summary: It's just over a week until Draco's twenty-fifth birthday party and Harry Potter is a busy wizard. Amongst all the excitements of fatherhood, work and friends, Harry realises something special about his husband Draco. He is pregnant with their second, much wanted baby.

There's only one problem: Draco is entirely oblivious to the fact and seems determined to remain so. 

📻  Don't search me in here (E, 6.7k) by Sassy3 @sassy-sassy3

🎵 Song prompt: Gone - Charlie XCX & Christine and the Queens

🎵 Summary: Draco spotted him in a corner, crowded by Ministry employees. He looked like an animal, trapped in a cage. He had a strained smile on his , and his eyes were looking everywhere else than on the people in front of him.

Draco can’t quite help himself, watching Potter from afar. Just out of curiosity, of course. He’s happy with his life, nothing is missing, and if he’s lonely it’s entirely by choice. 

📻  I Can Be Your Lighthouse (T, 4k) by orpheus87 

🎵 Song prompt: The Lighthouse by The Used

🎵 Summary: When Harry gets called to investigate reports of Dark magic, the last thing he expects to find is an almost unconscious Draco Malfoy. After multiple instances, he resolves to find out what's going on.

📻  Drop Everything Now (T, 21k) by parkkate @parkkate

🎵 Song prompt: Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift

🎵 Summary: After accidentally bonding himself to Malfoy, Harry finds himself in an utterly precarious situation… 

📻  No one fucks with us (T, 3.3k) by Laura_Sinele @laurasinele

🎵 Song prompt: NFWMB by Hozier

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy wonders for how long has Harry Potter been a terrifying force of nature. Harry Potter thinks Draco Malfoy has been a badass MF all along. If the world has to end so they can have some peace and quiet, be it. They'll set it on fire.

📻  Will You Stay with Me? (M, 10.2k) by EvAEleanor @eva-eleanore

🎵 Song prompt: ‘Run’ - Daughter

🎵 Summary: Ten months ago, Draco had found none other than Harry Potter blindly drunk and bleeding outside a Muggle pub. He'd brought him home and hasn't left his side ever since. He looked after him, took care of him when yet another nightmare plagued him. 

Harry is sure that Draco will leave him at some point, and he can’t let it happen. He can’t have another person leaving his life unexpectedly. So, Harry forces him to leave — after they spend one last night together.

📻  until the sun has changed the colour of my hair (T, 4.9k) by cloudlesslysky @cloudlesslysky 

🎵 Song prompt: Jag saknar dig mindre och mindre - Melissa Horn

🎵 Summary:  Draco's life has been one big mess ever since Potter broke up with him. He doesn't want to see his friends, he's too ashamed to see his parents, and his apartment is one giant mess. He's constantly prepared for disaster, and spends his time either alone in Muggle parks or in his apartment. But one day... One beautiful day... He will forget Harry, surely.

📻  Love Found (E, 7.5k) by peachpety @peachpety

🎵 Song Prompt: I Found, by Amber Run

🎵 Summary: During Harry’s sixth year, Draco Malfoy joins the Order as a double-agent and continues with his task to get the Death Eaters into the castle as assigned by Voldemort. Draco succeeds with his mission the evening Harry returns from the caves with Dumbledore. The boys reunite on the Astronomy Tower and, with the Death Eater’s arrival, are forced to engage in a fight, driving Harry to come to terms with his feelings about true friendship and romantic love.

📻  On the Third Day He Took Me to the River (M, 14.4k) by pixiedustatsundown @pixiedustatsundown 

🎵 Song prompt: 'Where the Wild Roses Grow - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds ft. Kylie Minogue'

🎵 Summary: This is a story of two lonely young men falling in love.

This is a story about dreams and duty, about witches that give purpose to the one and doom the other.

You think you know how the story goes, but this is a different story, and it doesn't end well. 

📻  (When They Only Hear You Whisper) I'll Be Loud For You (T, 2.8k) by VeelaWings @veelawings

🎵 Song prompt: There for You - Martin Garrix/Troye Sivan

🎵 Summary: Potter must have been having nightmares again. He was restless in his bed across the room. Moonlight shone through his open bed curtains and highlighted the contours of his body, the grimace on his face blatant. His thick blanket was kicked down, one leg still covered by his twisted sheet, the musk of his sweat pungent in their small dorm. Low grunts accounted for the majority of the noise he made, but it was peppered by the occasional groan or unclear shout of words. However, ‘No,’ was always clear.

Draco hated it. 

📻  The Interview (T, 17.3k) by Cibee (Cibeeeee) @cibeewastaken

🎵 Song prompt: Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol

🎵 Summary: One interview had Draco realizing how naïve he was for thinking he deserved Harry. 

📻  Lookalike (M, 1.4k) by Zzzara @big-draco-energy

🎵 Song prompt: 'Lookalike' by Conan Gray 

🎵 Summary: When you look in his eyes, Do you think of mine? And when you look at that smile, Do I cross your mind? I know in your head You see me instead 'Cause he looks a lot like I did back then Baby, don't lie, He's just a lookalike... ©

📻  As Fascinating As a Slap Bracelet (T, 13.2k) by acupforslytherin @acupforslytherin 

🎵 Song prompt: Have It All - Jason Mraz

🎵 Summary: Who would have thought that a wacky little Muggle toy would lead to an unlikely friendship between Harry and Draco? Not Harry, certainly.

Who would have thought that this friendship would bloom into something more? Well, Ron, for one. 

📻  If Sex Is the Drug, Then What Is the Cost (E, 3.8k) by EvAEleanor @eva-eleanore

🎵 Song prompt: I Almost Told You That I Loved You - Papa Roach

🎵 Summary: For quite some time, Harry has been seeing Malfoy. Well... Actually, he's hired Malfoy, to keep him company, in his bedroom. It's only sex — honestly — and since Malfoy is the best, he's the only person Harry wants. That's all it is, right? 

📻  I Grow Fonder Every Day (M, 21.6k) by Drarrelie @drarrelie

🎵 Song prompt: One and Only by Adele

🎵 Summary: Draco still doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse, sharing a flat in Muggle London with Harry Potter.

It’s all Draco’s ever wanted — more than he’d ever wished for. And if it entails suppressing his inconvenient feelings for the man, so what? He’s perfectly happy with his life as it is, perfectly content with just having Potter close and enjoying his company.

That is, until one Friday evening at the beginning of April when the end starts. 

📻  How Can I Live Without you? (G, 2.2k) by ununquadius @ununquadius 

🎵 Song prompt: "So Far Away", by Avenged Sevenfold

🎵 Summary: After Draco's death, Harry wonders how can he live without the one he loves when he's so far away.

📻  Following the Arrow to Your Heart (E, 10.9k) by goddessofthehearth 

🎵 Song prompt: Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran

🎵 Summary: After the war, Draco is recruited into the Department of Love (aka Cupid's Arrow). His job is to bring together witches and wizards whose magical signatures are only compatible with each others' (essentially soulmates). As they all learned during training, Cupids are chosen because they do not have soulmates.

Six years later, Draco's convinced himself that he's perfectly fine with not having a soulmate. But his latest client turns out to be Harry Potter, and he's forced to reconsider in light of his old feelings.

📻  cos I only need your name to call the reasons why I fought (T, 6.6k) by cloudlesslysky @cloudlesslysky

🎵 Song prompt: War, by Poets of the Fall

🎵 Summary: Ron and Hermione leave the Horcrux hunt, leaving a hurt Harry behind.

But at least Draco is still there with him.

📻  Madness (M, 10k) by tigersilver 

🎵 Song prompt: House of Fun by Madness

🎵 Summary: A desperate search for contraception all around Diagon Alley.

📻  Between Myth and Man (E, 16.2k) by slytherco @slytherco 

🎵 Song prompt: Why'd you only call me when you're high? - Arctic Monkeys

🎵 Summary: Draco, lost and a little broken, navigates post-war reality convinced that people like him should not be allowed to make their own choices. To solve the problem of his self-sabotaging tendencies, he starts taking a few drops of Veritaserum every morning.

A story about the complexity of choices, repressed desires that come to the surface when we least expect them, and the utter hopelessness of truths built on a foundation of lies.

📻  stay awhile (stay here with me) (T, 3.1k) by panicparade @panicissharp​

🎵 Song prompt: I like me better - Lauv

🎵 Summary: "Then when?" Harry tries again. He's not sure if he really wants to see the photo or if he just wants to keep talking to Malfoy. This Malfoy, who is so different from what he was expecting. In his Muggle jeans and smartly pressed sweater, with an air of vulnerability around him that Harry isn't used to seeing, Malfoy looks approachable in a way he never has before.

Harry stops his fidgeting as Malfoy looks up to meet his eyes. Through the hum of the crowded pub, he has to strain a little to hear him. "Maybe," Malfoy starts, hesitating a little but never breaking eye contact, "one day?"

📻  All it needs is messing it up and stars (G, 5.9k) by a_reader_and_writer @harrypotterfanfictionwriter

🎵 Song prompt: Tongue Tied by Faber Drive

🎵 Summary: After the war all the Malfoy's came off with light sentences. Now during 8th year Draco is finally free to be himself and date his crush; Harry Potter. Or at least so he thought..

A letter from his father rips that happiness away.

But maybe in the end it will take just a bit of messing up and some stars to get that happiness back.

📻  I'm gonna let it happen (E, 12.3k) by tomoewantsdolls @tomoewantsdolls 

🎵 Song prompt: Florence + The Machine - Shake it out

🎵 Summary: And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat 'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me Looking for heaven, for the devil in me Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

📻  I feel it in my bones (M, 6.3k) by cloudlesslysky @cloudlesslysky

🎵 Song prompt: Radioactive - Imagine Dragons

🎵 Summary: Harry’s heartbeat is loud in his ears as his heart pounds in his chest. His lungs burn as he pants for air. His legs are screaming in protests as he continues to push them to their limit, forcing himself to run ever faster.

📻  Born in the U.S.A. (M, 9k) by KittyCargo @kittycargo

🎵 Song prompt: I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen

🎵 Summary: “You need to come home, Draco.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just have an opportunity for you, and you need to come home to take it.”

When Draco's mother insists he comes home, he drags his feet and convinces his friends to take a road trip.

📻  just tell me when it's alright (E, 23k) by M0stlyVoid @bonesliketambourines

🎵 Song prompt: Teeth, Lady Gaga

🎵 Summary: Harry’s been fighting tooth and nail for any bit of normalcy he can get his hands on. He’s sick of feeling like something’s wrong with him, tired of feeling different. He thinks he’s finally gotten to the root of it, and has settled into a routine that makes him happy. Naturally, that’s when Draco Malfoy walks back into his life and upends it once again. Has Harry bitten off more than he can chew with his former rival?

📻  The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth (T, 19.4k) by Cibee (Cibeeeee) @cibeewastaken

🎵 Song prompt: Cupid - Amy Winehouse 

🎵 Summary: Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved!

So Draco decides to boldly go where no one has gone before: to put himself through scrutiny; their friends’ teasing and pranks; unsound romantic advice from a house-elf; wearing pretty clothes; all to try and win Potter’s heart through courtship.

(An unnamed ginger bastard can be heard yelling from afar: “This is actually a detailed guide on how not to court someone!”)

But who cares about the opinions of redheads? Literally no one.

📻  What Will We Do With a Drunken Harry? (E, 4.9k) by Thunder_of_Dragons @thunder-of-dragons

🎵 Song prompt: "Drunken Sailor" by The Irish Rovers

🎵 Summary: A victorious Quidditch match, a claimed Quidditch Cup, and a wild House party can mean only one thing. Will the aftermath lead to one excruciating hangover in the morning, or will it perhaps lead to something more?

📻  Though Your World Is Changing, I Will Be The Same (E, 15.9k) by hephaestiions 

🎵 Song prompt: Slave To Love by Bryan Ferry 

🎵 Summary: “I shower after work,” Harry had told him once when Draco had asked what cologne had such longevity as to be effective after a full day of gruelling Auror work. 

“For me?” Draco had asked. Teased, just a little. There had been a smile lingering on the edges of his consciousness, threatening to traipse onto his mouth. 

“For Ginny,” Harry had said, voice flat. “She hates it when I come back sweaty and crackling with other people’s hexes. Did you know magic has a smell? I didn’t until she told me.”

–

It's all fun and games, till somebody falls in love. Given his luck, it's obviously Draco who has to go and do it.

📻  I Can't Help Falling in Love with You (NR, 4.8k) by readdreamwrite26 @readdreamwrite26

🎵 Song prompt: I can't help falling in love with you - Elvis Presley

🎵 Summary: Harry stood up and set his hand out to Draco. “Dance?” “I didn’t know you danced, Potter.” “Hm, I’ve danced a lot in my time," Harry replied smugly. “How do I know you won’t step on my feet?” “You don’t, but I think the risk will be worth it.”

📻  Searching For a Place to Hide (T, 12.5k) by Erin_Riwen @erin-riwen

🎵 Song prompt: Love Will Keep Us Alive - The Eagles

🎵 Summary: After the war, there were threats against the Malfoys. Needing them kept safe until the trials are over, the Ministry puts them in protective custody but a murder attempt proves there’s a Ministry leak. Desperate, the Ministry decides a safe house is best, but who to trust to keep it secret and keep them safe? Narcissa calls in a life debt, the Minster calls in a favour and Harry Potter wonders why his life continues to hate him. 

Along the way, the Malfoys learn how to be a family again, Harry learns that some things are not how he thought and maybe never were, and the touch-starved boys discover that they may be each other's forever answer.

📻  Isolated Thunderstorms and Scattered Showers (T, 21.3k) by triggerlil @triggerlil 

🎵 Song prompt: Iris - the GooGoo Dolls

🎵 Summary: Post-war, Harry needs space. Everything is too much all at once, and time and time again, he finds himself pulling the invisibility cloak over his head, just for a bit of peace.

Returning for eighth year is hard, especially when you're considered a war hero, and your name is Harry James Potter. It's just that things go a little wonky when Harry starts following Malfoy, and finds that he can't (or doesn't want to) stop.

📻  Kiss It Better (E, 1.5k) by articcat621 @articcat621

🎵 Song prompt: Kiss It Better by Rihanna

🎵 Summary: When Harry's injured, Draco knows there's no place he'd rather be than by his side.

📻  (shut up and) dance with me (T, 7.9k) by punk_rock_yuppie @punk-rock-yuppie

🎵 Song prompt: Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon

🎵 Summary: Four dances Harry and Draco share.

📻  In Love with the Ferret (E, 21.9k) by Pineau_noir @pineau-noir 

🎵 Song prompt: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

🎵 Summary: Harry has never been the most observant bloke. Sometimes to the point of him not realising his feelings for a particular pointy, pale git. And it's not his fault if literally everyone else knows about said feelings except for Harry and the git in question. So it's really not his fault, when faced with the scope of his feelings, he suddenly has a hard time talking to one Draco Malfoy. Or looking him in the eye. Or not being a total weirdo around him.

There's nothing to do but take the advice of his friends and try to woo Draco over dinners with friends, Ministry cases, and an unfortunately named Italian restaurant.

Harry just can't stop the flutter in his chest when he sees Draco smile.

📻  Dance with me? (M, 8.2k) by Aylaar @accioxanxiety

🎵 Song prompt: I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston

🎵 Summary: Draco had given up on love, until one day sitting outside the usual gaudy cafe he frequented 'people watching' he spotted Harry Potter lurking, a suspicious Draco investigates and a series of events ensue.

📻  The Cupid Incident (E, 12.6k) by meandminniemcg @meandminniemcg 

🎵 Song prompt: Can' Get You out of My Head - Kylie Minogue

🎵 Summary: Draco gets into the way of a potions attack and can't get Potter out of his head.

📻  Carouse (E, 19.9k) by Drarryismymuse (Hatchersn) @drarryismymuse 

🎵 Song prompt: Dead by Madison Beer

🎵 Summary: Carouse (verb): To drink plentiful amounts of alcohol and enjoy oneself with others in a noisy, lively way.

Harry finds himself using alcohol in increasingly dangerous ways to cope with the stresses of life. When he is put on leave from work to sort out his issue, he instead falls head first into a lively club scene where he can drink and fuck his worries away. That is, until a certain blond from his past reappears and throws off his entire routine.

Massive well done to all these talented creators - you’ve made this fest utterly spectacular! Take a bow!!

🎙️ Don’t forget to check out the Playlists:

Youtube

Spotify (Provided by @eva-eleanore​ Thank  ypu so much!)

[royaltee98]

The worst sickle cell crisis

September 25-October 3.2021

Saturday September 25.2021

This was Sunday 2:00 in the morning mom just finished changing my foot and I was watching the golden girls.I fell asleep for a few minutes feeling this awful pain in my lower back I called my dad to tell him that I was having pain and to tell mom but instead I called her. She came over and laid with me rubbing my back and gave me some Motrin, until the next morning…. to be continued

Sunday September 26.2021

This was Saturday afternoon I told my dad I was going to shower while in the shower I wasn’t feeling so good I had to rush and wrap myself in a towel and go sat under the ac because I was feeling very tired and shaking. My mom came in my room and said I didn’t so good, still in awful pain I had a nail appointment that I made last week so I went with mom feeling ok, it took like 30 minutes to do. I got back in the car feeling very tired again, I walked into my house put my stuff down I crawled into bed and continued to watched golden girls I fell asleep again and mom was still rubbing my back. I just couldn’t get comfortable I was moving all my bed.

My mom said do you want to go hospital I immediately said yes it was so hard to get dress my mom helped me while getting the hospital bag ready. I was in so pain it was very difficult to walk so my dad swung me over his shoulders and put me in my mom cars. While driving to the hospital I felt every single stop, bump, and turn in the road. I was crying”. I need relief, I need fast” for me to say that means the pain was sky high. Couldn’t get comfortable always turning and sitting still was so hard in the car.

I got to the emergency room at this point the pain was beyond a 10 more like 10,000 I felt like drawing out of my skin and curling up into a ball until the pain was 100% gone. Once I got in the back and the nurses started an IV for fluids I got strong *pain medication. I would sleep for 10 minutes and right back up balling crying, turning, asking for more relief.

I was being transferred to the 3 floor which was orthopedic floor with a clean hospital bed. I was going in and out of pain in between trying to sleep to the prior medication I was given back at home. My mom was always rubbing my back, hips, and legs. Getting up to use the restroom felt like my legs were set on fire and about to break at any moment. I spent that night and half the that next morning in so much pain and agony.

Monday September 27. 2021

It was the next morning still in was much pain. I did a chest X-ray and take and *nebulizer breathing treatment. This sweet nurse told my mom and I, I needed to be *I.C.U because my oxygen level was at a 45 and had pneumonia, no one on this planet earth should be at a 45. SIDE-NOTE: I cried but I remember when my auntie I wasn’t allowed in the ICU to say my goodbyes because I was to young I was 14 when she pass away from cancer. My body was asking for help and I was transferred to the I.C.U. Once I got into the ICU the nurses put me on the this *high flow oxygen machine. It felt like I was growing in my air the oxygen was going so fast up my nose and the taste was horrible.

I really didn’t have an appetite but I knew I eat something so I won’t have another on my hands. I took a few bites for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Still coughing, in an *active sickle cell crisis , pain was going on. I was in misery I just wanted home to see my sister.

Tuesday September 28. 2021

This morning I did so much such as go get a *CAT scan, do a *echocardiography and I need to use the restroom today. The nurse get a wheelchair for me, it felt so good to come out of ICU. I did a CAT scan before so I was use to it. I got to my room I made a thumbs up gesture to my mom. A few hours went then the echocardiogram technician came to my room, I was pretty nosey she allowed me to look. I asked questions because I was curious the way my heart sounded when she put on the audio gave me more power to fight my way out of the ICU.

The pain management doctor came to ask how is my pain and have went yet. I said my pain is ok and no I haven’t went he said ok and said that he would make a medical mixture for me. I was ok with that.

For rest of the day doctors and different labs techincan came in my room.

Wednesday September 29. 2021

I sat up the chair cause the bed was staring to get uncomfortable and by this time I haven’t went to bathroom and it was kind of getting painful by I still needed eat still taking a few bites of breakfast and I said to my mom that my stomach was hurting. In the ICU there is a little separator dividing the room in the corner was a toilet. ⚠️ TMI ⚠️ Ever since I was born I suffered and still suffer from constipation. That morning I took the mixture pill with my other medication. Let me tell you when I sat on that toilet it was like WW3 I could destroy the whole of Afghanistan the smell that came out my body could have taken me out. It went on for some time back to back ever for the next few days.

After I went I was so hungry any time a nurse came in and ask me if I wanted anything I said yes I usually got ginger ale and chocolate pudding, I love me some snack pack chocolate pudding.

I want to shoutout to my mom because I had so many wires on me, she did everything for me if you know what I mean 😉

Every hour my nurse came to check on me and my mom and ever 4 hours to me my iv medication and if I needed any pain medication. I started to wean off the pain medication because I didn’t want to get addicted to them but if I needed I would ask politely.

I had to sleep on my left side because I had the pneumonia was in my right lung. So I facing the door to my room I prayed to God basically saying: Dear God, please heal my lung so I can get out of ICU and to be able to see my sister and dad. I know that you can do it I believe in you.

Thursday September 30. 2021

Still in the ICU feeling much still can’t take a deep breath but I was working on the *breathing spirometer that is mess felt like hell. More doctors came in to update me and my mom, they said I looked perfectly fine but my CAT scan and X-ray was showing that I had fluid overload, a small amount of fluid around of heart, and pneumonia.

In my head I was like I need to get out of here. Still working on the breathing barometer trying to cleat my lung coughing like a maniac and sitting up off my lungs.

That night the new season of station 19 and grey anatomy came on so my mom and I watched while I ate my hospital dinner and mom had her dinner. After that I FaceTime my sister as I did ever night in hospital saying goodnight and making jokes I say goodnight and can’t wait to get home to her.

Ever other night my mom changes my wound I had of 10 years now; she was coming to the end of wrapping the rolled gauze around my foot. Around the same time the I got a new night shift nurse she would so sweet and her charge nurse pass her a piece of paper. She read it and wrote on my room board 2258 and said that I was switching floors. At that moment I knew God heard my prayer for the night before I was so excited that I was moving rooms.

My mom stared to packed our belongs and checking the room to see if we had left anything in the cabinet.

Friday October 1 2021

It was barley 1:00 in the morning on our way to the new floor. This floor was called *PCU entering our new room 2258 where we spent the next three days in. I told my mom one day closer to seeing my sister; the nurses slid me over to my new bed which was super uncomfortable. Now on this new floor between 12 and 4 they you sleep which was very comforting to hear.

I really didn’t sleep cause cause there was lab technicians taking my blood and nurses taking vitals sign. Once the sun came up my mom and I started to get up. I had such an appetite I ate all of my breakfast and was still hungry but my mom kept a sash of little snack from previous breakfast, Lunch, and dinner trays that I didn’t eat prior to being backed up so I had my favorite combo ginger ale and snack pack chocolate pudding.

The same doctor from the ICU came up was updated my mom and I still looked fine on the outside but the inside was still acting up. After they left I did so research why are keeping it is because I had a low grade fever due to pneumonia that’s all.

The physical therapist came in to work with me and my limp due to the wound I had and still have for 10 years. I walked the entire PCU floor, basic excise like in and out kicks, stepping in place, hip opener, and muscle resistance.

The more I felt better the more food was on my hospital food tray that night for dinner I had pasta and meatball with ice tea, and chocolate pudding. For the rest of night my mom and I watched tv and was heading to bed.

Saturday October 2. 2021

That morning my mom and I had a mission I was to freshen up, take my meds, let the nurses give me my Iv antibiotic and we were going for a walk on the PCU floor. After all that I decided to sit up in the chair again. The doctors came in and still I was feeling better but the x-rays were getting clearer still had pneumonia but I since couching and using my breathing barometer is was getting better. They wanted to still keep me over night to watch me for any fever spikes.

The fever spikes will only happened at 12:00 in the night so they still concerned about that. Physical therapist came to walked me and this time I didn’t even realized that I walked the over floor I was going my speed like yesterday but it seemed faster.

My dad stopped by to give me some really pretty flowers and to relieve my mom so she can go home and freshen up and checked on to my sister. My dad and I went for a walk and by the time we finished she was on her back to the hospital. She brought Popeyes and we watched the movie Selena I almost cried because I heard how she died by never got to watch it, it was the older one with Jennifer Lopez.

We continue to watch tv as we went to bed.

Sunday October 3 .2021

This was the morning I felt that I was going to be discharged form the hospital and on our way home. For breakfast I had some pancakes and sausage to drink I had some orange juice and the nurse gave me my medication and I was just chilling. The doctors came in by now it was just the fever spikes at night was reason they kept me an extra night. The nurse I had was trying to discharge me I really appreciated that.

Lunch time had just begun at the same time the nurse had came into my room to tell me I had been discharged in mid bite of my pasta and meatball I just felt it I was so happy to see my sister and dad. She said do you want to finish your lunch or just want to be discharge I said I wanted to be discharged so she was took off my heart monitor, pulse oximeter, and the IV I had.

She read me my discharge papers that I had to sign after that she went to go get a wheelchair and my mom went ahead down to get the car. For a moment I was left in the room by myself I turned on some gospel music and was praising God and thanking him for bringing me out of this one.

I told my mom to not to tell my dad I was being discharged cause I wanted to surprise him. He even called me I said the I using the bathroom the truth was I was sitting sign my discharge papers. While being rolled down to the lobby I kept thanking God for all his had done.

Pulling up to my house I got out of the car rang the doorbell and my dad opened the door and was so surprised and my sister was still sleeping so I waited until she had gotten up to tell her that I was in the ICU she just was surprised.

Now it has been four days I been home feeling much better still keeping up on my water intake and taking my temperature, oxygen levels and working on my breathing spirometer. God has and will forever been by my family and I side in times of needs he is just so good, caring, loving, merciful. Thank you God.

*pain medication: Dilaudid: treat moderate to severe pain

*nebulizer: A device for producing a fine spray of liquid, used for example for inhaling a medicinal drug

*I.C.U: a unit in a hospital providing intensive care for critically ill or injured patients that is staffed by specially trained medical personnel and has equipment that allows for continuous monitoring and life support

*high flow oxygen machine: Only offered if traditional oxygen therapy isn't helping, high flow oxygen therapy helps reduce the effort your body needs to put into breathing. By decreasing the effort of breathing and creating a small amount of positive pressure in the upper airways, this therapy helps improve oxygen delivery.

*active sickle cell crisis (in my opinion): is the pain the starts you feel it as the bad cells dies off

*CAT scan: n X-ray image made using a form of tomography in which a computer controls the motion of the X-ray source and detectors, processes the data, and produces the image.

*echocardiogram:a test of the action of the heart using ultrasound waves to produce a visual display, used for the diagnosis or monitoring of heart disease.

*breathing Spirometer:a common office test used to assess how well your lungs work by measuring how much air you inhale, how much you exhale and how quickly you exhale.

*PCU: The Progressive Care Unit or PCU is a telemetry (vital signs) monitored unit that provides care for adult patients requiring continuous cardiac monitoring

Love T.B.❤️

[theotherackerman]

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.

NOTES:

Sunday January 10th- Friday, January 15th

chapter sixteen: faster than you could say sabotage

On Sunday, the doorbell echoed through the house.

The equipment arrived.

Levi opened the door to see Mr. Grice and a very terrified Colt.

“Captain Ackerman! So great to see you!” Mr. Grice said as he brought in one of the many boxes from the truck.

“Hello, Mr. Grice,” Levi said as he continued to hold the door open.

“Where would you like these?” Mr. Grice asked.

“Just behind the couch for now. We’re still working on the basement.”

“Wonderful!”

Colt looked terrified the entire time. He never spoke.

They left after Mr. Grice thanked Levi again.

---------------------

The Ackerman household fell into their own normalcy the Monday everyone headed back to work.

Sasha and Historia went to the indoor farmer’s market every weekday morning to work for Sasha’s father.

Annie shut herself away into her room to work until 5:00 pm but she did come out for an hour at lunch.

Mikasa had taken up most of the household chores since she didn’t have a job.

Ymir had worked at the bar for two days before getting fired.

“Do I even want to know why you got fired?” Levi asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“This guy was not taking no for an answer for this girl. So I poured both of their drinks on him,” Ymir shrugged as she collapsed on the couch.

“I’m impressed!” Mikasa called from the kitchen.

“Fine, whatever. You better pull your weight,” Levi said before returning to reading his newspaper.

So Mikasa and Ymir became the main two to work in the basement.

They started that on Wednesday.

The basement was huge.

It had to be as large as the entire house, if not bigger.

“Boxes of important shit can go to the attic,” Levi had instructed them on their first day truly cleaning it.

“There’s an attic?” Ymir asked.

“Pull string is hanging in the hallway but just barely. You’ll need a ladder to pull it down,” He told them. “I’m taking the dogs on a walk. Don’t die before I get back.”

“He has such little faith in us,” Ymir commented.

Mikasa and Ymir went through boxes to sort out what was important and what wasn’t.

“Nope!” Ymir shouted before closing a box. “Fuck this. Nope. Someone else can look in this box.”

“Porn?” Mikasa asked as she sat down to go through her own box.

“I wish but no. Come see for yourself,” Ymir moved away from the box.

Mikasa sighed as she stood back up. She walked over to the box. She slowly opened the box up.

Inside the box were a bunch of jars.

“Why are you freaking out about glass jars?” Mikasa asked as she rolled her eyes.

“Pick one up,” Ymir told Mikasa as she crossed her arms across her chest.

Mikasa did and there was some sort of strange large bug in it. Mikasa immediately sat it down back in the box and closed the lid of the box.

“Yeah, I told you.”

“I don’t know what that is. Let’s leave it in the box and let Levi deal with it.”

It wasn’t long before Levi had returned with the dogs.

The puppies ran down the stairs. They happily barked at the girls as they ran around the basement and demanded pets from both Ymir and Mikasa.

Levi came down shortly after.

“Open that box,” Ymir said pointing to the box.

“Why?” Levi asked.

“Just do it.”

Levi sighed before he walked over and opened the box. He pulled out the same jar that Mikasa had.

“I thought I got rid of all these,” he sighed.

“What is that in there?” Mikasa asked.

“Some tailless whip scorpion or something. Kenny liked to collect these things and keep them in his office,” Levi scoffed.

“Why?” Ymir asked.

“I don’t know. Kenny was weird sometimes,” Levi shrugged as he put the jar back into the box.

“Did Kenny use to torture people down here?” Ymir asked.

Levi froze.

“Why would you ask something like that?” he asked.

“Well, there’s the jars of creepy bugs and the chains still hanging on the wall. So unless you and Hange are having a sexy fun time down here, then that’s what I’m going with.”

“I’m going to go see if Hange wants these for class,” Levi said as he walked away, disappearing back up stairs.

“Your uncle totally tortured people down here,” Ymir said as she looked over at Mikasa.

“I think so too. Before he got sick. It makes sense. Shows why everyone is afraid of Kenny,” Mikasa said with a shrug.

“That and the shady shit Historia told us her dad was involved in. So are all Ackermans born this badass or what?”

“I don’t know. I was nine when my dad died. My dad just went hunting every once and a while.  I never met Levi’s mom. I don’t know what she is like,” Mikasa replied.

“Hunting is pretty badass. I’m sure Levi’s mom was, it’s just in the genetics.”

Ymir started through another box.

“This box looks like all stuff from you’ve done in school, Mikasa.” Ymir said as she stood up and picked up the box.

“Levi saved it?” Mikasa was shocked. Levi didn’t seem like the type of person to save this stuff.

“Yeah, looks like everything since you moved here. Art projects, reports, anything he hung on the fridge is in the box. Probably should go to the attic.”

“I don’t know if Levi thinks this is important,” Mikasa went back to sorting through her own box of papers.

“If he’s saved your handprint turkey from when you were ten, I think it’s important to him.”

---------------

Historia’s twenty third birthday was drawing close.

She seemed to be getting more depressed as time went on. If anyone asked her about it, she waved them off pretending to be okay. She began to go to bed earlier and earlier in the day.

“I think we should have a small party for her. Just us though,” Ymir suggested.

“Oh! I could make a cake!” Sasha exclaimed.

“I can decorate while she’s at work,” Mikasa added.

“I can help with dinner,” Annie decided.

“What are you going to do, Levi?” Ymir asked.

“Pretend not to be here,” He said before he got up and left the kitchen.

---------------------

It was the morning of Historia’s twenty third birthday.

Historia had not been looking forward to her birthday.

When she lived at the Reiss House, it had always been huge parties filled with people Historia didn’t know. She didn’t even get time to spend with her friends as she was always being whisked away by Rod to speak to someone else he found important.

Though she had left the Reiss house, Historia’s sense of dread and annoyance was still there.

It was no surprise to her when she woke up and her phone had been disconnected.

“Give me that,” Levi said at breakfast before snatching the phone out of Historia’s hand. “Might as well put you on the plan too with Ymir and Mikasa. Too dangerous not to have a phone.”

“You’re so our dad,” Ymir laughed.

“Shut up, you get to do dishes.” He walked into the other room with Historia's phone.

The doorbell rang and it was followed by a loud pounding at the front door.

Sawney and Bean immediately began barking.

Mikasa and Ymir left the kitchen to go into the living room.

“Get back in there. Take the dogs,” Levi hissed.

Mikasa and Ymir scooped the dogs up and went into the kitchen.

“Who was it?” Sasha asked.

“I don’t know,” Mikasa said.

Silence fell over the kitchen.

“I have a letter here that I must deliver directly to Miss Historia Reiss,” a deep voice from the other room said. “We have good reason to believe she’s staying at this residence.”

“She is. Why is that illegal? Oh wait, you’re not a cop. I don’t have to answer to you,” Levi’s voice was filled with venom.

“No, but I do work for the Reiss family,” the deep voice replied.

“And I’m Kenny Ackerman’s nephew.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t realize you were Captain Ackerman.”

“I don’t give a fuck. Give me the letter and get off my doorstep.”

The door slammed so hard it shook the house.

“What the fuck is this shit?” Levi asked as he entered the kitchen. “Shows up early in the morning with a letter that isn’t even closed. This isn’t a letter. It’s a piece of paper.”

Historia took the letter from Levi.

Miss Historia Reiss and No Name,

We regret to inform you that all music performed at The Battle of the Bands is property of Fritz Pharmaceuticals.

You must return by 5:00 pm tonight.

If you do not, we take that as your understanding that those songs played at Battle of the Bands are truly the property of Fritz Pharmaceuticals and its subsidies and that you will not perform them ever again.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Freida Reiss

Rod Reiss

Historia began crying after she read the letter and passed to Ymir. After Ymir read it, she passed it to Annie. The letter went around the table until it ended back with Levi.

“Unfortunately, you signed the contract, they can do that,” Levi said as he sat down at the table.

“Well, I better get packing,” Historia stood up.

“What?” Annie asked.

“Why?” Sasha added.

“Those songs aren’t ours anymore,” Historia pushed her chair back in.

“Okay, so? You’re not going to sell your soul to Rod Reiss for a few songs,” Ymir said.

“Mikasa worked hard on those songs. You three worked hard on those songs. I’m not going to throw that away.” Historia made her way out of the kitchen.

Ymir stood up and followed her. “And you did too!”

“Exactly!”

“Historia, you’re not going back there,” Ymir cut her off and blocked her way to the stairs.

“I don’t have a choice!”

“So you’re just going to throw us away? You’re just going to throw away the recording equipment that Levi spent thousands of dollars away? All the songs you and Mikasa wrote? And what about our relationship?”

“This isn’t about us! And you’ll all end up hating me if I don’t!”

“We won’t,” Mikasa said as she walked up behind Historia.

“Does it suck? Yeah, but it’s not worth it,” Annie added.

“We’ve got better stuff now!” Sasha exclaimed.

“But those songs…” Historia cried.

“It’s what? Maybe ten songs?” Ymir asked.

“I don’t even think it’s that many. Plus, we haven’t played them since then. I kind of forgot about them,” Mikasa laughed.

“See? Ask them if you don’t believe me. Let’s take a vote,” Ymir said.

“Mikasa, your lyrics are….”

Mikasa cut Historia off, “not worth you going back to that manipulative, soul crushing man. I vote no.”

“Annie?” Historia asked.

“Fuck Rod Reiss,” Annie answered.

“Sasha?”

“No. I vote no going back.” Sasha smiled.

“Ymir?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Ymir crossed her arms across her chest.

“You said to take a vote.”

“No. I vote no. I started the Fuck Rod Reiss club, thank you very much.”

The group moved together, hugging Historia as she cried. She didn’t know what she did to deserve these friends.

“You’ve got to go to work,” Ymir said as they broke out of their group hug.

“Yeah, we should get going,” Historia wiped the tears from her eyes.

Historia had not been surprised when she had dropped a crate of eggs at work seeing how her day had started.

Turning twenty three felt cursed.

When she and Sasha returned home from the farmer’s market, she had not been expecting the house to have been decorated. A big pink banner that said Happy Birthday hung from the ceiling.

There were balloons everywhere.

“Surprise!” Ymir yelled.

Historia immediately started crying.

Ymir quickly rushed to Historia and just hugged her.

“I’m sorry. You all still did all this after what happened this morning? You’re really not mad? I just….it was always big parties with a lot of people I didn’t even like besides you all when you came. I just...no one asks me what I wanted.”

Ymir held her tighter.

“Come on, I made dinner,” Annie said.

They all sat at the table, including Sawney and Bean. The humans had steak and potatoes.

Everyone pretended not to see Levi giving them potatoes and pieces of steak.

“And cake!” Sasha pulled a large pink cake out of the fridge.

“When did you make that?” Historia asked.

“At 4:00 am this morning,” Sasha smiled as she sat the cake on the table.

“Candles are in the drawer over there,” Levi pointed in the general direction of the drawer holding the candles.

Ymir got up and grabbed them. Then she handed them to Sasha who put the candles into the cake.

Levi pulled a lighter out of his pocket and handed it to Sasha who lit the candles.

“Make a wish,” Mikasa said.

Historia closed her eyes for a moment and then blew out the candles.

“Knife?” Sasha asked as she looked to Levi.

“There’s a cake knife and server over in the knife drawer,” He answered as he began to clear the table.

“You’re so fancy, Levi,” Ymir laughed.

“Grab some of these plates. You’re on dish duty,” Levi’s voice was completely monotone.

“Why am I always on dish duty?” Ymir grumbled.

“Because you always have something smart to say,” Annie smirked.

“Fine….” Ymir gave in and picked the rest of the plates up.

“After cake,” Levi clarified as he put his part of the plates into the sink.

Sasha returned with the cake knife, server, and cake plates. She handed the knife to Historia as Levi and Ymir returned to the table.

Historia cut into the cake.

“It’s strawberry! My favorite!” Historia smile grew.

After dinner, Ymir did dishes while Mikasa and Annie got the gifts they had wrapped earlier in the day.

“Wait, you...you...you didn’t. You didn’t have to get me anything,” Historia said as she sat down in the middle of the couch.

Historia was very surprised. Gifts were not something she expected after everything. The dinner, cake, and decorations had been enough.

The gifts were sat down on the table while Levi and Sasha had grabbed two chairs from the sun room. They were much more comfortable than the chairs in the kitchen.

“We need a bigger couch,” Mikasa said as she sat down in one of the chairs from the sun room.

“There’s not enough room for Sawney and Bean,” Sasha said as she sat down on the couch.

“Are you saying we need a new couch because my dogs don’t fit with you or because you all can’t curl up into it like you did when you were thirteen?” Levi asked as he sat down in his chair.

“Both,” Annie answered before sitting on the other end of the couch.

Sawney and Bean chased one another so they didn’t seem to care about there not being any room on the couch for them.

“Ymir! Hurry up!” Sasha yelled.

“I’m trying!” A voice called from the kitchen.

Ymir finally finished cleaning the dishes and sat down into the empty chair.

“This one is from me,” Annie said as she handed Historia a gift bag.

Historia reached in and pulled out a bottle of her favorite perfume. It was very expensive and she was running out of it. She had been thinking about switching to something else.

“Annie…”

“Still more in there.”

Historia went through the rest of the gift bag. She pulled out a makeup pallet, several lipsticks, and other cosmetics.

“Wait, is this...it is! It’s the Powers of Light and Dark collection!” Historia squealed.

“That makeup set you kept tagging us in for contests?” Sasha asked.

“Yes! It’s been sold out everywhere. Annie, how did you get this?” Historia asked as she opened the makeup pallet.

“Hitch works at that makeup store in the mall. She saved me the collection,” Annie said with a shrug.

“I thought they weren’t allowed to,” Historia said before closing the pallet.

“Not supposed to but she may have put them in a different section of the store no one visits. I happened to find them there.”

“Thank you, Annie. Really. You should have saved your money though. I mean you’re having a kid…”

Annie waved her hand. “My insurance is great. It’s covering almost everything. Besides, I got to use Hitch’s discount. Don’t worry about it. You deserve it. You’re welcome.”

“Why is that such a popular item?” Levi asked. “It looks like every other makeup pallet I’ve seen.”

“How many makeup pallets have you seen, Levi?” Ymir asked.

“How many do the five of you own?”

“Touché.”

“Well it’s the names of the products. Half are named after powers of the Light, like goddess and angel. The other half are named after powers of Dark, like devil or demon. The pigment in them is absolutely amazing,” Historia explained as she put the makeup and perfume back into the gift bag.

“My turn!” Sasha said excitedly as she picked up one of the boxes. She handed it to Historia.

Historia was careful as she ripped the wrapping paper off of the gift. There was a beautiful box under the wrapping paper. Historia slowly opened the box and pulled the shoes out. There were a pair of pink stilettos that had spikes that one would see on a necklace or dog collar on them.

“I thought for our next concert, you could wear them on stage,” Sasha smiled.

“I love them,” Historia was about to cry again. Most of her shoe collection had been left behind at Reiss mansion.

“ My turn!” Mikasa said, not allowing Historia to start crying. She picked up the other box on the table and handed it to Historia.

“You didn’t...this has been enough,” Historia said.

“Well, we did. Just open it,” Ymir said.

“I’m with Ymir on this,” Mikasa said.

Historia nodded before she unwrapped and opened the box. She pulled out a pink studded designer leather purse. Historia stared at it and then looked at Mikasa.

“ It matches your shoes,” Mikasa smiled.

“I’m going to use it everyday,” Historia clutched her shoes and matching purse to her chest. “I’m going to wear these shoes everyday too.”

“Alright, this is from me,” Levi said as he used his foot to nudge the gift bag left on the table.

“You got me something?” Historia asked.

“It’s not a big deal,” He shrugged.

Historia reached into the bag and pulled out a new phone and a new case.

“It has all your old stuff on it too!” Mikasa added.

To say Historia hadn’t been expecting anything from Levi was an understatement. It was a beautiful rose gold phone, a newer model of her old phone. The case was pink and had floating glitter in it.

“Your old phone was out of date. They said you liked pink,” Levi shrugged.

“Thank you,” Historia whispered. She wasn’t used to having a parent figure care about her. Rod gave her things that made HIM look good. It was never in her favorite color.

“And we saved the best for last. It’s my turn,” Ymir said picking up the small box that was left on the table.

“So even after this morning…”Historia started.

“I give you a free pass because your biological father is a dick. Open it.”

Historia popped the box open to reveal a beautiful silver charm bracelet. It had music notes and treble clefs hanging from it.

“Ymir….” Historia started.

“Nope, your birthday. None of that,” Ymir smiled. “Stop crying, turn that new phone on. We’ve got to all take some selfies! That includes you, Levi.”

“Why would I do that?” Levi scoffed.

“Just one! It’ll be our family photo!” Sasha pleaded.

“Hange would probably like it if you sent it to her, “Annie shrugged.

“Come on, Levi. One picture isn’t going to kill you,” Mikasa said.

“Fine, but only one,” he gave in.

-------------

Levi wasn’t surprised that when he walked by 11:00 pm, the girls were asleep in Mikasa’s room with a movie still playing on the tv. How all five of them slept in that bed together was a mystery to him. It could not have been comfortable. He shook his head as he made his way into his room with Sawney and Bean following him.

His phone rang.

It was Hange.

“How was Historia’s birthday?” They asked.

“It went well. Rod Reiss is a dick,” he replied as he sat down on the bed.

“I thought we knew that,” Hange replied.

“We did but...he messed with the kids’ music. He used their contract against them. I know they’re hurt. I’m thinking about contacting you know who,” Levi sighed.

“Make copies. Don’t give him an original copy of anything,” Hange instructed him.

“I know that much. You know once I do this, there’s no going back. If you think it’s a bad idea…”

“I don’t. Take Rod Reiss down or sleep on it and then take him down.”

Levi sighed again.

“Anything else happen today?” Hange asked.

“I forgot to tell you the other day, Ymir asked if Kenny tortured people. She said the chains were either for that or we had a sex dungeon.”

Hange’s laughter was uncontrollable on the other end of the phone.

“It’s not that funny.”

“No, it’s hilarious. What did you tell her?”

“Nothing. I just walked away. I’ve still got all these dead bugs from Kenny left for you.”

“I’ll be over tomorrow!”

[yikesharringrove]

Happy Trans Billy Week!

Day 3: Bakery/Chef!au

@transbillyhargrove @blurbwitch

Harringrove

-

BIlly is ftm, Stevie is mtf

-

“At least just try her stuff. She’s really good!”

Robin was trying to sell Billy on her friend, again.

He had been working his ass off opening this cafe, had been interviewing professional bakers around the city for it. And Robin wanted him to hire her friend. Who baked for fun.

“And she’ll work in house! You would just have to pay her a salary, not give her a cut of everything sold.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“But then I would have to buy all the shit for her to bake everything.”

“But you’ll make bank on her stuff. She makes these little doughnut things, but they’re double fried and made with like, puff pastry.

“So not a doughnut at all.” She slapped his chest.

“Fuck you. People would pay like, five whole dollars for one ‘a those. At least just try.”

“Fine. Have her bring me some samples of stuff on Monday. I want cookies, coffee cakes, specialty pastries, crossiants, and whatever that not-doughnut thing is.” Robin grinned at him.

-

Robin came in on Monday trying to awkwardly bring a giant box into the cafe.

“Stevie couldn’t make it. She had a doctor’s appointment or something. But anyway, here’s what you asked for.” She placed it down on a table, pointing at everything.

“So she made chocolate chip cookies, gingersnaps, snickerdoodles, and teas cookies, croissants, coffee cake, carrot cake, chese cake, that doughnutty-thing, actual doughnuts, brownies and lemon bars. I think she didn’t sleep for like, four days.”

Billy was impressed. It was a good spread.

“She also made me bring a loaf of sourdough in case you’re doing like, toast stuff. I said you weren’t, but I think she feels bad for not being here.”

They tried everything.

And unfortunately, is was all fucking delicious.

“Fine. She’s fucking hired.” Billy made a list of everything he wanted to sell, thought maybe the delicious not-doughnuts could be a bit of a speicality, new flavors every week. “I’ll need a comprehensive list of ingredients, and she’ll probably have to check out the set up we got here.”

Billy hadn’t really wanted an in-house baker, but he hadn’t ripped out the ovens, proving drawers, coolers and counters in the back, so he supposed it would work out okay.

“And tell her I want an in person meeting within the next few days.”

-

Billy was scrubbing out one of the ovens in the back when he heard the bell above the door.

“Sorry, we’re closed,” He called.

“Um, I’m Stevie Harrington? I’m Robin’s baker friend? You said I should come see the space?” Billy got up with a groan, stretching until his back popped.

“You tellin’ me, or askin’.” He pushed open the back door, smirking at the girl standing on the other side of his counter. She was tall, had much fucking dark hair, falling almost to her ass and big round eyes.

“Telling. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here yesterday. That appointment was important. Billy shrugged. “I have a list of ingredients for you. I figured how many of each item per day, and broke it up into waht I would need weekly and monthly, since I don’t know how you’re planning on ordering everything.” Billy nodded at the neat handwriting.

“Your stuff was good. I was thinking for those double fried things, we could do a new flavor every week. Make them a bit of a specialty.” Her cheeks went a little pink.

“Thank you. I’m so glad you liked everything, and decidded to give me this opportunity.” He smiled at her.

“You’re talented. Come see what I got.” She followed him to the back, her eyes going wide as she looked at the industrial ovens. “This place was a bakery, so we’ve got everything you should need.” The old owner had passed away, didn’t have anyone to leave the bakery to.

“Oh, this is perfect. When’s opening?”

“We’re four weeks out. I was planning on ripping all this out, so it has to be cleaned, but everything else is ahead of schedule.” Stevie opened an oven, peerinf inside.

“They’re not too gross. The old owners tool good care of everything.” She took of her jacket, was left just in her pretty dark blue dress. “I’ll help you clean.” She smiled at him as she took the cleaning supplies from him, getting to work scrubbing down the oven.

Billy played some music as they worked, chatting lightly to one another.

“So, how’d you end up in Seattle?” Billy had shot straight up here after graduating hisgh school, didn’t want to leave the west coast, but wanted to go somewhere different. Stevie had mentioned being from a small town in the midwest.

“Just kinda needed a fresh start. Robin and I moved out here together about six years ago, now. She went to University of Washington, and I jsut wanted to live somewhere interesting for once. Plus, it’s just better for me here.” Billy nodded.

“Me too.” She smiled at him. She had put her dark hair into a messy bun to keep it out of her face, and Billy had gotten her an apron to keep her dress neat.

“What made you want to open a cafe?”

“Well, I mean, it’s Seattle.” She laughed. “But I also just liked the idea of running my own business. Building something from the ground up. And I like the vibe of cafes. They’re just in between places. You can come alone and just hang out.”  Billy had gotten many comfortable mis-matched chairs and placed them amoungst the tables and chairs. He wasnted it to be cozy. He had bookshelves on one wall, thought he could even have a take-a-book-leave-a-book kinda thing goin’ on.

“I think that’s really nice.”

-

Stevie started coming over everyday to help him clean out the kitchen. Somteims she would drag Robin, but more often than not, it was just the two of them, scrubbing everything out, listening to music and talking about random things.

But one day Stevie didn’t come in, didn’t call Billy to let him know, didn’t send Robin with a message.

Billy thought he was frustrated that his employee was missing, but really, he was just worried.

She looked tired the next day when she came in, her hair up in a messy ponytail, was wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt.

“I’m so sorry. I promise that will not happen again.” She had gotten right to work.

“Look, I don’t mind if you need personal days, just call me. Let me know.” She nodded at him, her eyes were bright. “Are you okay?” Her lip trembled.

“I’m sorry. I just, sometimes I have such bad days, and I can’t stand to look at myself, and I don’t want anyone else to look at me. And you’re always so nice to me, and I, I didn’t want you looking at me with your pretty eyes. I knew I would fucking fall apart.”

She was kneeling on the floor, fucking crying as she scrubbed at the proving drawer. Her make up was beginning to run just a bit.

Billy grabbed a fw paper towels, sitting down next to her.

“You wanna talk about it?” She shook her head.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” She wiped at her esys, smudging the dark makeup underneath. He took the paper towel from her hands, wiping up streaked makeup.

He was staring into her big dark eyes, noticed the soft honey gold in them, the forest green.

“Is it okay if I kissed you?” Her gaze dropped to his lips.

“Yeah,” she breathed.

Billy leaned in, kissing her softly, keeping it slow and chaste.

He pulled back, dabbing at her eyes again.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while. I’m sorry, that probably wasn’t the best timing, I just, I really like you.” Her lip trembled.

“The reason, the reason I was feeling so bad yesterday was, was because everytime I speak to my parents on the phone, they call me their son.” She swallowed hard.

“The last time I spoke to my dad, he called me his ungrateful bitch of a daughter. I get it, Stevie. I really do.” Stevie whimpered, another tear slipping out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t, didn’t know if I could tell you.” He smiled at her, wiping her eyes one last time, kissing her cheek.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to tell anyone anything.” She gave a watery laugh.

“Thank you, for being kind to me.”

“You’re a good person, Stevie. You deserve kindness.” She smiled at him, pulling back to take a deep breath. “And I meant what I said. I really like you. I’d like to take you on a date, if that’s okay.”

She nodded vigorously, ponytail bouncing.

“Oh, yeah! I had the biggest crush on you since I walked in here. I mean, Robin’s been trying to set us up for like, months.” BIlly raised one eyebrow, giving her a lopsided smile.

“Are you serious? Is that why she was so insistent on me trying your stuff?”

“Well, and that fact that I’m a damn good baker.” He laughed. She was grinning as she moved back to scrubbing the drawer. “She’s gonna be so smug. I can already hear her. Stevie, I TOLD you that you would love him. He’s JUST yout type.” Billy grinned iwder.

“And what is your type?”

“Beefy assholes that’re way smarter than me.”

[toomuchtv95]

Struggling Chapter 1

Characters: Jay Halstead, Hank Voight, Antonio Dawson

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Eventually) 

Word Count: 3.1k+

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Sadness, Talk about PTSD and Anxiety, Swearing

A/N: I know this chapter is a little boring, but it’s only the first chapter. I promise the rest shouldn’t be. 

Series Masterlist

This morning was one of those mornings where you felt like you weren’t going to get through the day. After taking your medication, you started to feel better. You had called your dad saying you were going to be late and he didn’t have to ask. As you arrived at the district, you half waved to Trudy as you headed up the stairs. Upon arriving upstairs, you could see that the team was deep in a case. You glanced at Antonio's empty desk, and it doesn’t look like he was even here. As you discarded your jacket on the back of your chair, your father appeared in the doorway of his office and you knew he was looking for you.

“Everything alright?” You walked into his office and sat down on the couch.

“I’m fine. Just having one of those days.” You looked down at your fingers not wanting to make eye contact with him.

“Are you sure?” Your father sat next to you on the sofa, pulling you into his side. You let out a small sob not realizing you were holding back. After a few minutes, the tears stopped and you gathered yourself. "Listen why don't you take the day off?"

“If I go home. I’ll just be worse. My therapist says that I need to keep my mind busy.” You stood up from the couch and headed outside to the bullpen.

“Okay, you and Halstead today.” Your father spoke from behind you, causing you to look at him with some confusion. “Antonio’s out today. Something came. Halstead, fill her in on the case.” Your dad disappeared into his office.

“I’m about to head out. Fill you on the way.” You nodded your head as you walked back over to your desk grabbing your jacket before following Jay.

After Jay filled you on the case the two of your sat in a comfortable silence until you decided to break it. “So, how’s the security job going?”

“It’s good. Never thought I would be working in the marijuana business.” You let out a chuckled as you stared out the window.

“It’s the new thing and hey, medical marijuana has been proven to help people who need it.” Pulling away from the window you glanced at Jay who was still skeptical about the whole thing.

“Hey, if your so fond of it I can get you in.” You looked at Jay who you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“Yeah, no. I’ll stick to chasing bad guys, but thanks for the offer.” Jay pulled up to the curb in front of the address of the house the two of you were looking for. “This is the address?” You pointed to a red brick house with a white porch swing.

"Yeah, that's the address." The two of you walked up the sidewalk towards the house and as you approached the house you got this bad feeling.

The two of you stood in front of the door as Jay knocked. “Sarah Watson. Chicago PD. We need to ask you some questions.”

“Well, someone’s home there a car in the driveway.” You stepped to the side to see if you could get a look inside which you did, and you saw a body. “Jay. Body.” Both of you drew your guns before Jay kicked in the door. You made your way towards the body and when you saw here there were stab wounds to her abdomen. You squatted down to check her pulse, but it was too late. You shook your head no to Jay before he headed upstairs.

You slowly made your way through the living room and just as you were about to head into the kitchen you heard squeaking of the floorboards from behind you. As you turned around, Michael Watson, slammed you into a nearby wall causing you to drop your gun on the floor. You struggled against the wall and luckily Jay came up and grabbed Michael. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” You let out a breath as Jay handcuffed Michael. As you grabbed your gun from the floor, Jay grabbed his radio and called the situation in.

“Hey Y/N the usual?” Gabby appeared behind the bar with a rag in hand and then leaned forward on the bar top.

“Actually, I’ll take a whiskey and make it double.” You took off your coat and hung on the back of the chair before taking a seat.

“Rough day?” Gabby poured you your drink as you nodded your head slightly. “Okay, well let me know if you need anything else.” Taking a sip of your whiskey, you looked around the bar to see the crowd starting to pick up.

After having a few drinks, you started to feel the alcohol take effect and you needed to stop before you do something you'll regret. You said goodbye to Gabby and made your way through the crowd and once the cold air from outside hit you, you instantly became sober. Walking outside, you leaned against the brick wall and everything started to hit you at once. Your eyes were burning, and your chest felt heavy as if it were someone who was sitting on top of you. You were so sick of crying. You were sick of being alone, but you couldn’t even imagine where to start to find a new life.

Pushing yourself away from the wall, you wiped your tears and composed yourself. As you rounded the corner, you bumped into someone causing you to look up from the ground. “Jay.” You breathed out and took a step back. “What are you doing here?”

“Well I saw you leaving the bar upset about something and I just wanted to make sure you got a cab okay.” Jay looked at you and he could see the tear stains on your face along with the puffiness in your eyes. “Come on let me take you home.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head as Jay guided you to his car. The car ride back to your apartment was quiet which gave you time to put yourself together. As Jay pulled up to you, apartment building, you just sat there not wanting to go inside to an empty apartment.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” Jay reached over and grabbed hold of your hand causing you to look up at him.

“I’m just having a rough couple of days.” You pulled your hand away from Jay to unbuckle your seatbelt. You opened the door and climbing out. "Thanks for the ride, Jay. I'll see you Monday at work." Once you made it inside your apartment, you leaned against your door and closed your eyes to hold back the tears.

After gathered yourself yet again, you took a hot shower, changed into your PJs, and grabbed a water from the fridge there was a soft knock on the door. Setting the water on the counter, you walked over to the door and opened it to see Jay standing there with a bag of Chinese take-out. All you did was give him a soft smile while opening the door wider for him. “I couldn’t go home without making sure you were okay.”

“Come in.” You closed the door behind him and headed back into the kitchen to grab him a drink. “Can I get you something to drink?”

"I'll take water." Jay set up the food on the coffee table, while you grabbed a bottle of water from Jay and silverware.

“You didn’t have to come back, Jay. I’m okay.” Handing Jay his water, you sat down on the couch as he handed you a carton of food.

“I know there something going on with you lately. You’ve more distinct than usual.” Jay took a seat next to you and took a bite of his food. Over the last 2 years, you have been debating on telling Jay about your late husband, because hiding it in for this long is no good. But you didn’t want to tell people because you didn’t any empathy from anyone.

"Ever since I left the Army, I've been struggling with anxiety and PTSD, and some days it gets the best of me.” Jay knew the basics about your time in the Army just as you did about his time in the Army and you weren’t lying when you said it started since the Army, because it’s kind of did. It got worse once your husband died.

“Yeah, I know what that’s like.” Jay took a sip of his water.

“I’m on some medication that helps, and I use to see a therapist once a week, now it’s about once a month.” You stared in front of you at nothing in particular. “Some of the stuff I saw, it’s hard to forget.”

“You know if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” You turned to look at him with a soft smile. “Now how about some TV?” You nodded your head as Jay grabbed the remote from the table and turned on the TV.

The rest of the night, you and Jay sat on the couch eating take-out and watching some corny movie on TV before the two of you fell asleep on the couch. It wasn’t till you woke up in the middle of the night to see that you Jay had moved to the other couch and you couldn’t help but smile. You quietly got up, not to wake Jay in the process. Grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch, you gently laid it over Jay before turning both TV and light and heading into your bedroom. As you laid in bed, you stared up at ceiling fan and you couldn’t help but think that Jay could have left at any point of the night, but he said and you couldn’t help but smile. Turning onto your side, you opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a photo of you and Ryan. In less than a week, it would mark the 2nd anniversary of your husband's death and it still felt like it happened yesterday that those people in uniform knocked on your door.

That was the day your world flipped upside down. You two were only married for about 6 months and you barely enjoyed being married. The two of you got married a month before he was called back to active duty and it was hard for you two to communicate. The first two months, you talked through video chat and letters, but as the months went on the conversations started to fade. Tears started to form in your eyes as you thought back to all the years you spent with Ryan. You closed your eyes as you quietly cried yourself to sleep.

The Next Day

Waking up this morning, Jay was gone so he must have slipped out before you woke up. Jay, of course, left a note saying he had to work his security job, and he would call you later to check in on you. You spent the morning cleaning up the mess you and Jay had created when you heard a soft knock on the door. You were confused about who it could be, so you answered the door with caution. Slowly opening the door, you saw Antonio standing there with his hand in his pockets.

“What are doing here?” You let Antonio in before shutting the door behind him.

“Thought we could grab some lunch since I have the weekend free. The kids are with Laura this weekend.”

“Yeah, okay. Let me just change.” You disappeared into the bedroom and changed into a pair of jeans and a plain black shirt. Walking over to your gun safe, you punched in the code and grabbed your gun and badge.

Once you and Antonio arrived at the diner that you two usually have lunch at, and you ordered your lunch. “So, what’s the real reason for lunch today?” You sipped your coke as you looked at Antonio who had a concerned look on his face.

“I’m just checking in.”

“Next week marks two years since Ryan was killed.” You played with the ice in your cup with the straw. “And I still struggling to move on.”

Antonio reached over and held your hand for comfort. "I don't know how to say this without upsetting, so I'm just going to come out and say it.” You looked up at Antonio not ready to hear him, but you know he wasn’t going to stop. “I think the only way to move on is to say goodbye. You’ve been holding on for something that not going to happen. You loved him and I’m not saying you need to forget him but you need to move on so you can be happy again.”

You pulled away as you saw the waitress come with your food. You both thanked her as she left you to eat. “How do I do that?” You picked up a fry and took a bite.

“I don’t know. You gotta figure that out for yourself.” Antonio took a bite of his burger as you ate some of your chicken wrap sandwich. “Whatever you decided I will be there for you.”

The two of you ate in silence before you spoke up. “Jay drove me home last night after having a couple of drinks and having a minor breakdown. Then he came back with food and won’t leave until I was okay.” Chewing another fry, you looked up Antonio who had a small smile on his face. He always liked the thought of you and Jay together as more than friends, but you didn't see Jay that way or you didn't for a long time, but now you weren’t sure how you felt. You've and Jay got a lot closer in the last couple of months. “He spent the night.”

“Really?” You could hear the shock in his voice.

“Nothing happened. He fell asleep on the couch and I went to sleep in my bed. He left in the morning and left a note saying he had to work his security job." Antonio raised an eyebrow at you. “Shut up. We are just friends. I don’t like him that way.”

“You know it’s okay to like or fall in love with someone. Ryan would want you to be happy.”  You didn’t say anything else and just continued to eat in silence.

After lunch, Antonio dropped you off at home and now you needed to figure things out. You had gotten a text from Jay which you replied and went on to doing something you needed to do. Making your way to your bedroom, you opened the top drawer of your dresser and grabbed the envelope that was marked with your name. Taking a deep breath, you sat on the floor with your back against the foot of the bed and started at the letter. There were tearstains on there from when you had first gotten the letter and all the other times you have read the letter. Opening the envelope, you pulled out the letter with shaky hands.

Dear Y/N,

I’m sitting in our bedroom, the night before I am set to deploy, and I don’t know how to start this letter. Expect to say that I love you and that you meant the world to me.

If you are reading this letter, it means I’m gone. I hope my death wasn’t a long painful death. Writing this letter brings me pains me as much it does for you to read it.

The last 3 years of my life with you have been the best, and I hope they were the same for you. I can only imagine how you’re feeling. Angry, upset, pissed, sad, the list could go on, but with time it will all go away, and you will be able to be happy again. I know that you hate me for leaving, but it’s my job to serve this country. So, do whatever you have to do to let the anger out. Scream at the top of your lungs, hit the boxing gym, or whatever to let the anger out, just don’t hold it in. Then once you let the anger out, lean on someone for support. I know you will try to be strong on your own and push people away but don't.

Be happy, I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. I need you to move and find someone. I know you think I’m crazy for telling you to find someone after I’m gone but I don’t want you to be alone. You deserve to happy. You deserve to be loved by someone. You deserve to have the life you want. I’m not saying right away but in time you will be ready, and when you are, don't let anything get in your way of finding love again. And when you feel like you found that someone, you’re going to have to let me go. I’m not saying to forget me, because I wouldn’t want you to, but I would want you to share your life with someone and to be happy again.

Hate me all you want, but I need you to let me go when the time is right. Don’t hold on to me for too long because if you do then you will never be able to find love again. With all that said, I hope when you find him, he's the one. I hope he makes you happy. I hope he gives you the life and family you want.

I’m sorry we didn’t get the life we wanted. I know we barely had time to be married. I know we wanted a future together and I am sorry that it’s not going to happen now. God, did I not think this was how it was going to end. I thought we were going to be with each other till the end of time. I hate that I had to write this letter. I hate that I had to leave you and especially hate that I will never be able to hold you again and tell you that I love you. I never in my life did I imagine I would find someone to share it with until you came along. When you came into my life, I knew I was in trouble. I never believed in love at first sight until I meet you. I can sit here and list all the moments we had together but that would just make you cry even more, and I don't want to do that to you.

So, like I started this letter by saying I love you, I am going to end it in the same way. I love you, don't forget that.

-Yours always, Ryan

As you folded the paper back up, you held it close to your chest as you let out a weep. No matter how many times you had read this letter, it means more to you now then it did when you first read it. Letting go and moving on is the first step to being happy again.

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[adenei]

“Go. You go and don’t even think about coming back here.” for Romione 😊

@my-patronus-is-a-champagne-glass Thanks for the prompt! I really loved writing this one!!

************************************************************* Hermione stood up from her desk and gathered her things. “Elizabeth, I’m taking the afternoon. I have an appointment outside the Ministry. I’ll see you on Monday,” she said to her colleague and friend.

“Ooh, more wedding stuff?” Elizabeth whispered.

Hermione smiled. “Something like that.” The wedding was only a month away now, so her assumption was justified.

“Brilliant! Have a great weekend, Hermione!”

“See you,” Hermione responded as she made her way to the lifts. 

Hermione was headed to see a mediwitch at St. Mungo’s. Everything had been seemingly fine with her since Malfoy Manor, save for a few spasms now and then if she exerted too much energy on any given task. She’d recently talked to Fleur who had made the suggestion. Hermione had tried to reassure Fleur that she was fine, and she was the one to thank for that, but Fleur wasn’t convinced.

‘Zer could be hidden damage zat I did not catch. It would be best to have a mediwitch check for ze things I could not.’

So Hermione was on her way to get the work up done, and to be reassured of a clean bill of health.

****************************************************************

Ms. Belmont, the mediwitch, had just finished performing a number of spells, which was the last part of the work up. Hermione had already been administered potions, and answered a series of extensive questions about what she remembered of the events of Malfoy Manor before this point. She genuinely liked the woman who was helping her. 

“Well, Ms. Granger, I have good news and bad news after reviewing the scans.” Ms. Belmont said.

“Oh?” Hermione asked.

Ms. Belmont nodded. “Despite the extensive time and force you were under during the Cruciatus, your body has not undergone any significant damage. You were incredibly strong in fighting it. However, the spells did detect layers of scar tissue around your lower abdomen, around the outside of your uterus. It will likely affect your ability to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy in the future.”

Hermione stared at the mediwitch. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was expecting to hear, but it wasn’t that. She’d never even thought there could be any repercussions in that area of her life. 

“It’s not to say that you can’t get pregnant, but it will be more difficult. Luckily, the uterus itself is not damaged, but the scar tissue around the outside could cause problems as it needs to expand as a baby grows.”

“I see,” was all Hermione could say.

“I will be more than willing to work with you if you and your partner come to a point where you are ready to start a family, of course. Do you have any other questions for me?” Ms. Belmont asked.

“Er, no, not right now. Thank you,” Hermione said.

“Of course. Please don’t hesitate to owl if you need anything.” Hermione nodded at the mediwitch’s words and gathered her things. 

She exited St. Mungo’s, and began walking down the street. Ms. Belmont’s words were echoing in her brain as she walked aimlessly. Hermione was having trouble thinking straight. She turned down an abandoned alley and apparated away. She found herself not in front of her own flat, but in front of Shell Cottage. Her body seemed to be working of her own accord as she felt her hand knock on the door.

Fleur opened the door after a few moments. “Hermione! Please, come in. Victoire just settled in for a nap.” As she shut the door and turned to look at Hermione, she noticed the look on her face. “What’s wrong?” 

Hermione sat on the couch in the sitting room. “It’s...I’ve just been to see a mediwitch. She was very nice, did a full work up and everything. I’m truly always amazed at how Magical medicine works…” she trailed off. 

Fleur was busy heating the kettle for tea, and gathered mugs from the cupboard. When Hermione didn’t continue, she turned to her and asked, “Eez everything okay?”

“Y-yes, for the most part. The only thing she found was some scar tissue.” 

Fleur poured the hot water in the mugs and brought them over, sitting across from Hermione. “Where eez the scar tissue?”

Hermione’s throat tightened as she looked down and clutched her lower abdomen. 

“Oh, Hermione I am so sorry.” Fleur said. This was what she was afraid of. 

“It’s- I’ll be fine. I just- I needed to tell someone. I don’t know how I’m going to tell Ron. How is he going to want to marry me still if I can’t-”

“Hermione, do not speak like that,” Fleur stopped her, but before she could continue, Victoire began crying in her room upstairs. “Please, take all ze time you need here, but do not make any rash decisions.”

Hermione sat quietly sipping her tea as Fleur tended to Victoire. She kept trying to come up with ways to tell Ron. He didn’t even know she’d been to the appointment at all. She remembered back to the times they’d talked about the prospect of kids and starting a family someday. His face always lit up at the prospect, and he was such a wonderful uncle to Victoire. Hermione felt the tears start to stream down her face. She couldn’t take that away from him.

Fleur came down a while later with Victoire in tow. “Listen, Hermione, you are more than welcome to stay, but I promised Molly zat we would be by for dinner, and Bill eez meeting us there.”

“Oh! Of course, it’s fine. I need to get going anyway. I should probably get home before Ron wonders.”

“I’m so sorry. You know I am always here if you need to talk, of course. We’ll see you on Sunday?”

“Yes, yes of course. Thank you for the tea.” Hermione then told Fleur she’d rather apparate than floo, and saw herself out as she heard Fleur lock the front door and floo to the Burrow. 

The sun was warm and the fresh air felt nice against her skin. Hermione decided to walk on the beach before settling on an abandoned log, watching the water. She thought she’d put the war past her. The nightmares had stopped ages ago, everyone had healed, and then she had to go and tear open all those old wounds. Tears began to fall again. How could she have been so stupid to believe she’d walked away from the Cruciatus Curse unscathed, by Bellatrix Lestrange no less. 

Hermione had lost track of time, having forgotten to wear her watch that day, as her thoughts began to spin out of control. She wasn’t sure how long she was sitting there, and was only brought back to reality when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. No, no, no, I’m not ready. I can’t confront him yet, she thought.

“Hermione? Hermione!” Ron called as he moved quickly towards her. “Why didn’t you come home? I stopped by your office to pull you away from your desk for the day, but Elizabeth said you’d left for the afternoon, but then you weren’t at the flat either. I checked your parent’s house and the Burrow, and that’s when Fleur said you’d been here, but she thought you’d gone home.” He paused to look at her, noticing how she stared straight ahead, instead of looking at him. “What’s wrong?” Ron made to move to her side, but stopped abruptly when she backed away and held her hands up as if to stop him. 

“I’m sorry. I just, Ron, I really need to be alone right now. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“What? Hermione, where were you this afternoon? What happened?” Ron was confused by her reaction. 

Hermione shook her head. “I can't right now. I just need a little space! Please, just-. Go. You go and- and don’t even think about coming back here. Please. Not right now. I’ll be home later.”

“But Hermione-”

“Ron, please!” Her voice broke ever so slightly. It was all she could do to hold it together. She couldn’t do this right now. She needed more time to process this on her own. 

“No,” he said. They hadn’t had a row like this in years. Ron had no idea what had happened, but the look he’d seen on Fleur’s face earlier indicated she knew more than she was letting on.

“Ron, why can’t you just give me the space I’m asking for?” she pleaded with him.

“Because we’re not in school anymore, Hermione! I’m not just going to walk away and let you sort it out and ignore me. We’re getting married in a month! I thought we were past this!” He let the frustration take over his words.

“You may not be saying that anymore after you do find out what this is all about,” Hermione realized a moment too late that the words had escaped her as she clasped her mouth with her hands, hoping the ocean breeze prevented her quiet words from being heard.

“What are you on about?” Ron sat down next to her in disbelief of what he’d just heard. The anger had dissipated and now all he could feel was fear. The fear that he could be losing her. He softened his tone. “Hermione, please. Talk to me.”

Hermione closed her eyes as a few more tears escaped. “I went to see a mediwitch today.” She waited a moment, gathering her thoughts before continuing. “To- to make sure there were no...lingering effects from the Cruciatus Curse.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“Because I was sure it would all check out to be fine, and I didn’t want to worry you.” Hermione sighed.

“But it’s not fine. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“No,” she said plainly.

“Please tell me.”

Hermione took a deep breath in and exhaled deeply. “There’s a good chance I may not be able to carry a child. It’s not- It’s not definitive, but she said I could have a harder time because of the layers of scar tissue that’s built up around my uterus.” Hermione subconsciously moved her hand over her stomach.

Ron felt like he’d been sucker punched. Not because of Hermione’s confession, but because she thought he might not want to go through with the marriage because she might not be able to have children. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

“Hermione, love, I wish you would have told me. That I could have been there with you.” He tried to reassure her.

“I’ll understand if you want to call things off, since I can’t give you a family.” It was as if she hadn’t heard him, or felt his arms around her.

“I’m not going anywhere, so bloody get that thought out of your head right now. You’re my whole world, Hermione. Kids or no kids, that doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me. We’ll figure this out together. I love you.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

She felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her as she melted into him. “I love you, too.” She looked up at him, her eyes finally meeting his. Ron kissed her hard then, channeling all of the emotion he felt into that one kiss.

When they broke apart, Hermione chewed on her bottom lip before admitting, “I just thought we were finally past it. The nightmares are gone, the pain is gone, but now this will always be a constant reminder. It’s like she’s haunting me on purpose.”

Ron shook his head. “No. Don’t even think that. You haven’t let her get the best of you yet, so we can’t let this setback change anything.”

“I know, I know.” Hermione said. He was right after all. “I’m sorry I tried to push you away. I was just so scared.”

“Well, being alone never helps anything. Learned that the hard way. I hate to break it to you, Hermione, but you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Ron said as he played with her hair.

“Good.” Hermione said through a smile. “Can we go home now?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

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