#i want to be held by a buff orc lady

[just-some-trans-nobody]

If a big tittied buff orc lady could put me in a choke hold until I pass out and then cuddle me till I wake up I think it would heal my soul on so many levels

[thepavensiestyle]

A Fighter is Born

A bright, sunny day would promise heat for a majority of the early morning. Seeping well into the later afternoon. An expansive sea in possession of rough blue waves would lap up against the sandy shore of a littered beach. The conditions were visible along the horizon as heat waves rose up to distort reality. 

But well beyond this sunny patch of peace, the scenery had erupted in chaos. Nothing natural but rather manmade. An illegal sparring ring consisting a myriad of races that had ranged from humans and elves, to orcs and tauren. Though, there was more where that came from, a lot more. Horde and Alliance both coexisted in order to get a view of this popular event in Stranglethorn. Members of both factions assembled in a friendly clash of one mass for but a singular look at those that would be participating in the center ring. 

The roar of a crowd sounds just as those already on the sparring grounds had first made contact. At first glance, they could be mistaken for gnomes or goblins. But on closer inspection, the fighters were made up of children. Whose ages ranged from 5 to 10 years old. Regardless of those circumstances, these particular fighters appeared well trained. They carried weapons like they’d had years of experience with them. 

Although, deep underground, the sound of the crowd muffled.

The latch of one iron shackle sounded in a faint click as it clamped around the bared ankle of one such human boy. It wasn’t anything to hinder him in any way but it sure was tight. Tight enough to cause discomfort. “There, that’s to identify ya’.” Such was always Kleegal’s excuse on the matter. The well dressed Goblin stood roughly around the height of the 7 year old child, perhaps a few inches shorter. 

The boy was not as well dressed as Kleegal. He wore no shoes on his feet, a patchy and faded shirt along with ripped shorts. Beside him, another Goblin had stood with a drink in hand. This one was a female, her blue hair dolled up nicely in a loose bun on the top of her head. She wore a lack of clothing as well, though not quite so roughed up as the child. “Make sure ya win for us, will ya’?” Was the first thing she’d said. Ena was always focused on the riches that had come from accomplishing such tasks. 

“��Ey, kid.” Kleegal spoke without regarding Ena for the moment. “Just rememba’, if ya’ lose, you ain’t gonna be allowed back inside for the night. Ya’ hear?” The male would look the boy in the eyes, pressing the threat by the slight tilt of his head. He receives no verbal response other than the light nod of the boy’s head. But he was acceptant of it all the same. “Good, good.” 

From behind the Goblin couple, a door had seemed to swing open to allow for a brutish orc to enter with a child of his own. A child who was also of orc descent and had already been huge for his apparent age. Tall and buff by the looks of it, and staring at the human boy like he was fresh meat. “Ah! Karguk!” Kleegal announces before making his approach towards the burly Orc. 

“We’re about to be called up.” The Orc had spoken in a deep and gruff voice. Complete with the intimidation to scare off a lion. A singular hand would shove the Orc child forwards, allowing him to stumble gracelessly into the room. “You’d better get the little-” Karguk looks over at the human child and grumbles. “-worm ready to lose.” The same hand used to shove his own child would be one to pat him on the shoulder. A gesture used to show off the prominent size differences between human and orc. 

Kleegal would fall to a lean against one of the posts holding up the underground ceiling and laughs at Karguk. “He ain’t gonna lose! We trained him well enough!” This would be enough for Karguk to expel a gutterous series of laughter. 

“And I have trained mine well.” Once again, he pats the Orc child’s shoulder. “I will see you in the stands, Goblin.” That would be when the giant Orc would turn around with the child in tow to leave the underground room. All the while, the remaining trio would stand by watching. Kleegal and Ena with sneers while the human child had nothing short of fear written across his features.

“Well!” Kleegal calls back out just as the door to the room closes. “He was peachy, wasn’t he, Ena?” Laughter commences, until the male was right back to confronting the child. “Johnny boy.” He finally called the child by his name. “You betta’ not lose this one. It’s gonna really put a stake in our career if ya’ do. So let’s do this!”   

Out of the room Johnny had been ushered, and onto the sparring ring outside. The hot sun boring down upon everyone who’s attended. Though it seems the attendees had less of an issue to worry about. There’d been vendors going about selling drinks and snacks for the audience. Many overhangs gave the audience shelter from the merciless sun but standing in the very center would be open for all elements to view. The worst of the conditions being the sun of course. And with the ground being made entirely from sand, standing still for too long meant burning your feet, if you’d been unlucky enough not to wear shoes. Kleegal would only linger for a short time to mumble something towards the human child before he hurried away from the sandy center. Desperate enough to flee the harsh conditions. 

“‘EY LOOK!” From the booming crowd, one voice stood out to them both. “Kleegal’s free laba’! AHAHA!” Then the Goblin’s voice would be drowned out by the loud crowd. Whistles and cheers would sing in an immense choir as voices filled up the entire audience. Though, Johnny and the orc child both stood together in silence, both peering up at the crowd of faces. 

And above all of the sound of cheering, an echoed voice through what can only be described as a loudspeaker would manifest. Another Goblin’s voice. “Ladies and gentlemen! Here we have next on the docket, fightin’ for this swell 13th anniversary of the Black Sun Sparrin’ Ring! This time we got somethin’ a little different! We got a new competita’ with us! Ahaaa! Today will be the day to showcase a series of new faces overall, most of which should be bloody by the end of this! Now we will be featurin’ Yegoth! Also known as Beast! The mightiest orc boy in the land! Challengin’ against Lil’ John! Who we will call, Fish Food!” The name call would promote laughter amongst the crowd around them. “You all know the rule! First fighta’ dropped for 10 seconds is the losa’! Ladies and gentleman, are you ready?!” And with that, the promotion of louder cheers and whistles as the crowd would get pumped for the coming fight. “Alright! Let’s get ready to rumble~!” Shortly afterwards would be the sound of a loud bell that brought the fighting to its introduction. Which had only excited the crowd even more.

That was the same time Yegoth had started forwards, raising his hefty fists up in defense. He approaches Johnny rather quickly despite his immense size. While Johnny would stand by and simply watch to see exactly what was to come of the action. He’s seen fights like these go down but never has he been in the center ring doing the fighting. It wasn’t like the boy even knew how to fight but he braces all the same. 

Yegoth would have been able to land the first hit, while Johnny had taken it like a champion. He emits a loud yelp as the force had sent the boy back several paces from where he’s first started. Already, the side of his face had bruised over and his head rattled by the impact. It was by some miracle he hadn’t fallen over into the sand but he straightened up in an instant. 

Though, this had not seemed to be the end as Yegoth had once again recoiled a fist to land directly into Johnny’s nose just as the human boy turned to face his opponent. Immediately, blood would spurt from his nostrils and the impact this time had pushed Johnny to fall on his ass in the sand. The announcements would come up as this was witnessed. “And we got the first drop in not even two seconds of the intro! Will Fish Food get back up?! Help me count! 10! 9! 8!” He continued to count down while Johnny stayed seated, with the help of the crowd counting along with him. 

Johnny would raise a hand to his bloody nose, barely listening to the sound of the numbers counting down. Although, it was just when the audience and announcer had reached ‘3’ that Johnny had slowly gotten back up. He was relentless despite his desperate desire to flee and leave the area. Not to mention the sudden nausea from the rattling of his brain with all the whiplashing as a result of the punches. Needless to say, he wanted to get out of there. But the only way out was to either win or lose. And losing only meant sullying his foster parent’s names. He didn’t want to do that. 

So he pivots back and raises his arms up in a defensive posture this time, similarly to his opponent’s stance. Yegoth was big and tall but that might have just been an advantage for Johnny. He was small and more agile than his counterpart. The sight of Johnny’s positioning gave cause for Yegoth to sneer and smile with mockery. It was easy to note that the human child had no idea what he was doing and to the orc, it might be the only thing he needs to best him. Use his lack of coordination against him. 

At first, Yegoth had sprinted towards Johnny and feints a punch in his direction. During such an action, Johnny would raise his arms up to cover much of his face but when no impact was made, he instead felt the real punch to his uncovered stomach. He let out a wheezing breath and was quick to drop his arms to protect his stomach, now leaving his face uncovered for yet another punch to his bloodied nose. 

The blow was enough to send him backwards a few steps at first before flopping on his back in a heap onto the sandy dunes. Curling up into fetal position, Johnny would make no move to actually stand back up. Despite the daunting sound of the crowd and announcer counting from 10 to 0. He wanted to throw up in that moment but he held his breath so as not to allow for any spew of chunks to leave his empty stomach. Vomiting would only add insult to injury for both the loss and the obvious tears in his eyes. 

Though once again, one thought would stand out against the others. The thing Kleegal had once said before he entered the sparring stage. About his career and all, Johnny did not want to be responsible for his losses. So again, the boy would force himself back to a stand just as the crowd and announcer made it to ‘2’. “TWO! And Fish Food is relentless! Second time! Could this be his charm?!” The announcer shouted loud, again urging the crowd to laugh and roar in cheer. At that moment, Johnny’s ears had started to ring. Head pounding and heart thumping hard against his chest. His blue eyes locked down on his opponent much like a predator to its prey; just as the orc had begun to lunge for Johnny once again. Time would gradually begin to move in slow motion to a point of stoppage and just before Yegoth was able to close the gap with Johnny, the human would duck down to let the orc’s fist soar past him as he swung it.  Unknown to Johnny, something seemed to have gotten over him. How was he able to commit to these actions with no training at all? In the next instance, none of that seemed to matter as the 7 year old straightened back up to land a heavy blow to the side of Yegoth’s face during his recovery. The momentum from the orc’s punch preventing him from defending his person for a time and so the fist would land. The attack was enough to rattle Yegoth but not completely deter him; he was mostly caught off guard by it. How Fish Food suddenly had the prowess to fight against Beast. When Yegoth pivots back towards Johnny to follow up with an attack, the human had suddenly dropped in a crouch to the sand and collected a handful of it in order to throw it in his opponent’s eyes. Giving cause for a loud yell from the orc to manifest before his hands had risen up to try to clear up the grainy mixture that blinded him. It was in that moment, Johnny would take to attacking every aspect of the orc’s person. Punches and kicks would land on the entirety of his body and it was when Johnny kicked the other in the groin that Yegoth dropped. Sand filled eyes wetting with tears in a desperate attempt to get them cleared up enough to see. Both of his green hands struggled to rub away the countless grains that were stuck under the small crevices and sockets. But in the end, it was for naught. The poor boy was down and laying on his side in the sand while Johnny awaited for a response. Blue eyes rage filled and boring down on Yegoth like he was the enemy of this arena. He had half a mind to continue brutalizing the boy but he does no such thing.  This time, the announcements and the count down from 10 was music to Johnny’s ears. With no prominent move from the Orc to stand back up, he could manage a smug grin up until the 0 mark was struck and the audience both cheered and booed in one chorus of excitement and disappointment. Regardless of it, Johnny turns about in the hot sand to raise his scrawny arms up in celebration. “We have our winna’! An unlikely fighta’! JOHNNY BOY! The Unda’dog who was able to pull through!” The announcements would continue but Johnny tuned it out, smiling throughout. All he could think about was sleeping in a nice bed back home.

[sayitwithsarcophilus]

Snippets from my newest original project

Misty Mountains Forest Preserve, Pekarangan, 18 Scorpii System

Olivia woke up to a little wet nose poking her in the face and immediately wished she hadn’t.  The morning sun stabbed through her closed eyelids - which Olivia considered particularly unfair since she’d been unsettlingly sober for the past three days and was in the middle of a damned cloud forest - and brought the banked fires of her headache roaring to life.  And her mouth tasted like wakebark tea and ketosis.  

Olivia felt the weight on her chest rearrange itself, and a little clawed paw batted at the mosquito netting covering her face.  “All right, all right, Mommy’s getting up.”  First step: feed the whiny space-fox-dog before he wasted away to a little pile of fur and bleached bones as a reproach to her neglectful pet care.  Correction: first step: untangle herself from the cocoon of blankets, mosquito netting, and water-resistant tarps that she slept in without falling out of her hammock and crash-landing on the forest floor.  Second step: feed Gonif.  Third step: evict any local minifauna using her boots as a crash pad.  Fourth step: rehydrate, dumbass.  What kind of amateur dies of thirst in the middle of the jungle?

After feeding Gonif, there was just enough water left in the filter-bottles to brush her teeth, and the keg bromeliads next to her campsite hadn’t refilled yet, so Olivia set off find a new source.  Bromeliads and pitcher plants of various sorts were common in this part of the jungle, but most of them weren’t big enough to be worthwhile and the ones that were had something living in them.  Olivia had no idea if unfiltered space pollywog pee was dangerous to humans, but she had enough to investigate at present without pursuing that particular angle.  It all went straight into the filter bottles.  Gonif had no such reservations, but Olivia figured that consuming gross stuff was par for the course for dogs in any star system.

Olivia was a little over five minutes from her campsite and had yet to encounter any plants carrying more water than would fill a martini glass when she ran into - almost literally - a stand of swordleaf bamboo with plenty of juicy young canes.  She approached the bamboo carefully - the stiff mature leaves hung at just the right height to stab her in the face - took out her knife and a water bottle, and started tapping.  Swordleaf bamboo sap may have had the texture of unset jello and tasted like oversteeped lukewarm green tea, but it was dreadfully hydrating, reasonably germ-free, and in a wet season you could fill a shot glass in a minute.  Olivia had no idea why you would want a shot glass of bamboo sap, but apparently people back on Earth did shots of sprouted wheat juice nowadays.  

While the sap was dripping, Olivia played a half-hearted game of fetch with Gonif and swatted at the bugs.  Damn, they were thick this morning.  Oh, right, she’d gone straight out for water and forgot to put on bug repellant.  Olivia dug out the jar of citronetta lotion she’d picked up in the last Hamadryad village and rubbed the lemony-herbal smelling goop over her exposed skin.  There.  Much better.

Drinking swordleaf sap always made Olivia wish for a splash of gin and a lime wedge, or at least some seltzer to cut the sliminess, but after she’d choked down half a liter of the stuff she felt, if not exactly good, then at least reconciled with her continued corporeality.  Time to acquire some breakfast and plan the day’s expeditions.  Tree Octopuses hadn’t been documented this far north, but the local microclimate was just what they liked, and Olivia had seen some promising-looking potential den sites and what might have been a midden yesterday.  And if the octopus hunt didn’t pan out, she had some epiphyte specimens that needed closer examination, or-

The chattering jungle creatures went silent, and Gonif began growling at something behind her.

-Or maybe not.  Olivia turned around, with her hand on her pruning knife, and saw a lanky blue-and-brown-plumed Lianenshi in vaguely official-looking clothes approach with her burly green bodyguard.

“Doctor Olivia Green, I presume,” the alien asked, in Lianen.

“Who’s asking?”

“I wish you to come with us and answer a few questions.”

“Yeah, well, I wish the Library of Alexandria had never been destroyed,” Olivia replied, in English.  The aliens had translator earpieces, they could damn well use them.  “You guys have a lot of nerve, just barging up and demanding to talk to me before I’ve had so much as a damn cup of tea.  Especially when you’ve got no jurisdiction, and we both know how much Hamadryads love off-world bureaucrats stomping around the woods like they own the place.  Who the hell are you, and why should I give you two the time of day instead of making a break for it and leaving you for the midges and forest rangers?”

“My associate and I represent the Interstellar Partnership For the Study of Anomalous Astrogeology and Physical Cosmology.”  The bodyguard showed Olivia an ID badge that looked legit to her admittedly unpracticed eye.  “We have questions about Cykranosh.”

“Don’t we all,” Olivia muttered.  “Sure, I’ll talk to you, but not here.  Let’s go somewhere we can sit down first.”  

“That guy was way too white to be wearing dreads,” Skylar whispered to Dionaea, gesturing at the helicopter they’d all just exited.

Dio didn’t even try to suppress her sigh.  “Skylar, he’s green.”  Their helicopter pilot was the color of a fresh spearmint leaf, with a hint of rosy flush like a very ripe Granny Smith apple.  And freckles.  And big golden-green cat eyes and biceps the size of… stoppit, brain!  “And I read online that loc-samurai-ponytail he’s got is a traditional hairstyle for Hamadryad sailors.  Traditional as in pre-contact.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Skylar conceded.  “But I don’t see any boats around here.”  “Here” was a spot of open meadow on the edge of the forest.  “And people in India used the swastika as a religious symbol for centuries before the Nazis got ahold of it.  That doesn’t mean it’s right for them to use it nowadays.”

“Do you even listen to yourself?” Dio asked, and then turned her attention back to her brochure from the Misty Mountains Park Service before Skylar could answer.

“All right, everyone!” Ms. Yuki called out.  “Put on your bug repellant, it’s midge season.  You don’t have to worry about getting space malaria or space yellow fever, but the itching isn’t fun.  Alex, Katie, Skylar, get some sun protection.  I know it doesn’t look that bright out, but some of those clouds are going to burn off by the afternoon, and this star puts out a little more UV than our own sun.”  Ms. Yuki herself was wearing an enormous floppy black hat that looked like something a beautiful, morally ambiguous young widow would wear to her late husband’s funeral.  “This is the last real plumbing for miles, so go pee and fill up your water bottles if you need to.”  Skylar cringed.  “And review the information about dangerous plants in your brochures.  I don’t want anybody rolling in the space poison ivy.  Everyone got that?”  The young people all nodded.  “Great!  We leave in five minutes.”

After a couple hours of walking, a snack break, and a brief musical interlude - “When You’re Evil” and “Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Song)” turned out to be weirdly well-suited to wilderness singalongs, although Skylar tried to meld with the forest floor out of sheer embarrassment - the tame, parklike forest had turned to alien jungle.  The trail was still clear, and the crush of greenery was broken up by smaller game trails and the occasional fallen tree, but if Dionaea had been claustrophobic, the landscape would definitely have been getting to her.  

As it was, there was so much new stuff to see that it was hard to pick out specific subjects of interest.  Dio’s phone had a dozen new pictures of lichens and fungi alone and at least five for different kinds of mosses, never mind the big plants.  And she would have taken more if the lighting had been more consistent.

After another break to watch a wild tapir-sow and her babies cross the trail from a safe distance - because even Sam, Disney Princess that he was where animals were concerned, wasn’t about to risk spooking 500 pounds of muscle and tusks - the trees abruptly thinned out again and the hiking group found themselves looking into a little circular clearing.  Which was not uninhabited.

“-and I do think the planet is cursed,” a human voice said.  “Psychically, not physically.  Nothing practical went wrong that was out of the ordinary for operating in an alien environment, but there was a real emotional miasma over everything.  At first I thought it was just me - no sun, history of seasonal depression, you know how it goes - but Mi-go like it cold and dark and they felt it too.”  A different voice responded in a fluty alien language that Dio didn’t recognize.  

The clearing was occupied by three people sitting on a fallen log - a skinny old human lady wearing a local-style outfit accessorized with Earth-style hiking boots, aviator sunglasses, and a well-worn duster covered in grass stains; an unamused buff green person in futuristic tac gear who looked kind of like a Hamadryad and kind of like an orc; and a cross between a tropical bird, David Bowie, and a vintage shoujo manga character - plus one of the foxish-looking little indigenous dogs.  As soon as Dio stepped out from behind the trees, the little dog started barking its head off and the green person gave Dio their best “I have no problems with you - yet - but I could take you and your friends out without breaking a sweat, so don’t start none” look.  Dio nodded and held out her empty hands, which she really hoped wasn’t the equivalent of flipping someone off in space orc culture.