#i want the food to agi me right in my face

[sl33py-g4m3r]

typos~~ (what's this a positive post? from me??)

funny thing that just happened; or I'm just easily amused idk...

texting mom about how I'm kinda sad that some specific spicy noodles have meat stock in them, cause they're not vegetarian in that case and that sucks...

they're called "fire wok" and by a common noodle brand... nongshim i think.... they're like almost 2 dollars a bowl at walmart and almost 4 at the dollar store near my apartment....

trying to figure out whether walmart or the dollar store is a better deal for them if I see the stock as an exception...

accidentally type "float store" instead of dollar store

????

how?

audibly laughed about it cause funny~~~

I'm vegetarian and I don't want to see the stock as an exception tho; because meat stock, but the allure of spicy noodles~~~~ Is the meat stock fake you think or should I try to find vegetarian ones? ones I've got aren't spicy at all at present....

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Breeze

The morning after defeating the Endsinger and Zenos, Agi wakes to feel a cool breeze. SFW.

When Agnes awoke, she felt a cool breeze. Where am I? Laying on her side, she opened her eyes, blinked, and vaguely saw her glasses on a bedside table. And next to that…

“Love?” She whispered softly.

Estinien’s eyes opened suddenly and darted around for a second before he caught his wife’s gaze. A small smile appeared on his tired face. “Hey,” he moved his chair up to the bed and took her hand. “How are you feeling, sweet girl?”

“Sore.” One of her hands caressed her belly. “Where are we?”

“The Leveilleur Estate. They insisted on having you rest here, away from all the hubbub.” Upon seeing her confused expression, Estinien chuckled. “The world is celebrating, my love. The Final Days are over. The star and all creation saved. Krile offered the Annex, but I agreed with the lord and lady of the house…and Luci…that this would be better. You need to rest. Both of you.”

Are those…tears in his eyes? Agnes squeezed his hand. “It’s okay, love. We’re okay.”

Tears streaked down his cheeks. “Promise me, Agi. Promise me, no more adventures or danger until after she’s born. I cannot…I thought you were…” Estinien choked back a sob. “Please.”

Agnes, very slowly, sat up and flung her arms around her husband. “I’m not fucking planning on it, love!” She giggled. “After all,” she kissed his tear-stained cheeks. “We must have our extended honeymoon in Radz-at-Han, remember? And I personally don’t want any more surprises or world-ending events happening during this pregnancy. We’ll finally have time for each other—no Scion business, no revolutions, no primals to kill, nothing of that sort. I wasn’t kidding when I told Thancred that I’m relieved to finally have help on that front.” For the next few minutes, the couple sat in silence as Agnes comforted her husband—rubbing his back and kissing his tears.

“Forgive me,” he murmured. “I worry about both of you.” Their foreheads now touched, Estinien nudged his nose against hers. “We’ll need a name for her.”

“Luci Varlineau?” Agnes suggested with a grin.

Estinien grunted. “No thank you. I was thinking…Esme. Twas my mother’s name, and Esme Varlineau has a nice ring to it.”

Esme Varlineau does sound a lot better than Luci Varlineau. Sorry Mum! “I agree, love. Her name will be Esme.”

“We love you already, Esme.” One of his hands touched her belly. Was that?! Estinien’s eyes widened in awe. “Was…was that her?”

“It was, love! That was a strong little kick from her. Hello, my little love.”

Estinien still looked awe-struck. “She’s…kicking again. Does she know it’s me? That I’m her father?”

This is too cute! He looks positively softer than a pile of goo right now. Agnes giggled. “Maybe? You should talk to her. Get right up close. Here,” she adjusted herself on the bed, sitting upright. “Come on, love. Talk to her.”

Estinien quickly scrambled onto the bed and lay his head gently on Agnes’s belly. “Hello Esme. It’s your father. You be a good girl for Mummy, alright? She needs her rest. You just be a good baby and keep growing…There she goes again!” Right in the ribs! “Heh, good baby. You’re such a good little baby. Me and Mummy love you so much. We can’t wait to meet you, but you must stay in here for a while. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you and Mummy.” OOF! “Ah! She did it again! What a good baby! You’re such a good baby, Esme,” he cooed. OH MY GODS, LOVE! How is he so adorable?! “Are you hungry, Agi? Maybe Esme wants some food.”

Agnes giggled and played with a strand of his long, silky hair. “I don’t know about her, but yes, I’m famished. Could you ask Mum—LOVE!”

Within seconds, Estinien leapt out the window into the cool breeze leaving Agnes laughing hysterically. Estinien returned with a veritable feast from The Last Stand, much to Agnes’s chagrin. Burgers, fries, waffles, pancakes, milkshakes, decaf coffee, fried cheese, sausages, bacon, fruit, crepes, ham, and a very large ice cream sundae. I insisted on sharing with the staff…and Mum…and the twins and their parents…good gods, does he think I’m eating for a dozen?! “You know, love, I was going to ask if you could have Mum make me some Eggs Benedict. You didn’t have to do this!” She laughed, patting him on the arm as he popped a fry into his mouth.

Alisaie rolled her eyes. “Seriously, we could’ve had some food made here! This must’ve cost a fortune!”

“Hmph, I’m more than willing to pay any price for Agi and our babe.”

“Estinien, sweetie…there’s a difference between that and…” Luci gestured to the feast in front of them. “Whatever the fuck this is.”

“Agi likes sharing, so I got a lot. And Esme needs food!” He shoved another fry into his mouth. “She’s a growing baby!”

“Esme is a lovely name!” Alphinaud exclaimed. “Isn’t it, Mother?”

“Yes, indeed. A beautiful name for a beautiful child. Is there ought else you require, Agnes?”

“Nothing at the moment, thank you.” Agnes looked fondly at everyone in her room and felt the cool breeze again.

I have all I could ever want or need right here.

[dtyfp]

Jealous

Lily masterlist

<3 (recommended read first)

"Chenle, can you pass me my phone?" Mark asks. His phone was right beside Chenle, but the younger Chinese boy doesn't even react to his name being called.

"I guess I'll get it myself then," Mark mutters under his breath as he reaches across the table and grab his phone himself. He walks a little further before stopping at Jaehyun and tossing his phone beside him.

"Hyung, pass me my phone," Mark narrows his eyes. Jaehyun easily passes it over, to deep into a conversation with Mingyu to bother questioning why. Mark tuts and walks away, wondering why Chenle was suddenly so mad.

Lily comes in later with Nabi, when NCT's dressing room is a emptier, per usual considering everyone had begun making their way home. NCT Dream members lounge together, waiting for everyone to finish getting ready.

"Chenle, can you please pass my bag?"

Once more, he acts as if he hadn't heard you. Mark notices and comes over, having received the same silent treatment.

"Chenle-"

"Who's Chenle? What happened to Lele? I haven't been just Chenle in 4 years!" Chenle bites back, arms crossed, clearly a little upset. You and Mark both stare at each other, dumbfounded, trying to recall a moment in which you may have upset him.

"Yah, wait-hold up, are you guys mad at us?" Mark asks incredulously, glancing over at Nabi who turned around once noticing the commotion.

"Renjun-"

"So now I'm Renjun?" Renjun spits almost accusingly.

"Yes? Isn't that your name?" you ask confusedly. What had you been calling him for years now if that wasn't his name?

"Are you being-I can't believe-woah, is this another joke? Why are you all so mad all of a sudden?" Mark stutters.

"Because, Mork, you two act like you're not even in Dream anymore. You might as well just join that new girl group," Jaemin answers, directing the latter part at you.

"Yah, who do you think you're talking to? Am I not still your noona? Is that how you talk to people older than you?" you reprimand as Jaemin crosses his arms and leans back into the couch. Sure, he was upset but you won't be talked down to.

"No," he admits begrudgingly.

"I already told you I rejected that offer, you were the ones that asked me to reject that offer, why are you suddenly bringing that up?" you ask, softer this time. You knew the offer had troubled their minds quite a bit, but you thought that issue had been resolved.

"You two don't come over as often anymore, Lily doesn't even cook for us anymore, and last time I checked, I have always "agi" or "love" or something but now you are very comfortable calling me by my name. You might as well just slap me across the face!" Jeno spazzes. Are you seriously getting in trouble for calling them by their names?

"What? Aish, I have a headache," Mark complains as he rubs his temple. He couldn't even fathom how they got that impression.

"If you're hungry, we can order you some food," you offer.

"I don't want ordered food, I want food you make for me. I want those stupid little kimbap rolls you always bring to these things," Jisung pouts.

"Yah, Jisung Park, who said you can talk to her like that? I thought we raised you better than that," Mark defends.

"Sorry," Jisung huffs quietly.

"If they're stupid you don't have to eat them," you tell Jisung, though you still hand over your bag. He grabs it and opens a kimbap roll, biting into it angrily, huffing and puffing as he swallows. Honestly, it was a little cute.

"They're not stupid, mianhae" he relents a little, unable to meet your eyes, cheeks puffed with food.

In truth, the 6 boys in front of you felt guilty. They knew you had a rough year, and that the two of you had been busy with SuperM for a while, but they couldn't help but feel a little neglected. Even though it was obvious neither forgot about them, seeing as how they received gifts from nearly every country they visited, but it wasn't the same as spending time together.

"Aigoo...are you six jealous?" you ask amusedly.

"I don't like sharing and now, all of a sudden, the two of you are too busy for us," Jeno pouts. They missed being the centre of their attention.

"Aw, you're all so cute-ah. Alright, come on, Lily and I will pay for dinner, let's go out," Mark laughs once he realizes they were just a little jealous. Their mood changes quickly as they all jump up and run to grab their things, leaving you both bewildered as you sit and gather your bearings.

"How is it that we've been on tour this entire year, joined a whole other group and everything, are in the midst of two international tours, and now we're in trouble for not hanging out with them?" Mark asks as he turns to you.

"What did Chenle call us the other day, approachable punching bags? It was your idea anyway, you said we should give them space," you remind him.

"Yah, you agreed with me! We said they were fully capable of leading Dream without us picking up after them and that we'd give them space so they could figure out how to do stuff without us. And, Lily, if you hadn't noticed, we've been on tour this entire year so obviously we'd have nothing but space," he rebuts before you can shift the blame onto him.

"Hajima, the two of you seriously looked like parents just now," Nabi laughs, interrupting your little banter.

"If I knew all I had to get them was dinner, I wouldn't have bothered with the gifts. Are you okay with us ditching you tonight?" Mark asks his sister. The three of you had plans to go out, but after seeing the 6 upset boys, your plans seemingly changed.

"Yeah, it's no problem. Jaehyun wanted to hang out anyway," Nabi assures you both, picking up her phone to presumably check and see if her boyfriend was still available.

"Yah, why am I paying for this dinner? It was your idea," you suddenly recall.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't the one giving them little nicknames they're using against us right now," he jeers. The two of you stop for a moment and stare at each other.

"You need a vacation," Nabi hums without looking up. Since the beginning of this year, you had been busy. You had begun the first couple legs of NCT 127's tour, completed pre-debut preparations for SuperM, debuted in SuperM with all the promotions that came with it, and began another tour before the first even finished. Not to mention your own personal issues you've been forced to deal with.

"Next year," Mark agrees.

"Next year we're already planning at least two 127 comebacks," you remind him.

"After," Mark relents.

"After that we're doing another 2 NCT albums and a SuperM one," you remind him.

"Well damn, Lily, I'm hearing a lot of problems and not many solutions. We'll sleep when we're dead," Mark gives in. Nabi can't help but laugh and quickly says her goodbyes before leaving.

"Noona, we're ready!" Haechan calls.

"Hajima, why's Haechan mad? He was on tour with us the entire time," you remind him.

"Lily! Mark!" Chenle's shrill scream calls.

"Aigoo," you jump.

"When did we let them start speaking informally with us? I don't remember giving them permission," you ask.

"My first and my last era. And they didn't ask, they just started doing it and we were outnumbered," Mark reminds you as he gets up and pulls you along with him.

"We might actually sleep when we're dead by the way things are going, you know?" you tell him as you follow the others out.

"But damn, what a good sleep it'll be."

[xobrattymoonxo]

Lessons 

Aone x Futakuchi Reader x Futakuchi-nii 

Summary: Aone asks Futakuchi for some sex tips, but Futakuchi has a better idea. 

MINORS DNI! ALL MINORS INTERACTING WILL BE BLOCKED!

WARNINGS: DUBCON TO NONCON, INCEST, anal, double pentation, one spanking, mention of controlled relations, brief mentions of past incest relationships, Nii-chan use, slight choking, Pls let me know if i missed anything! 

AN: I am thinking of starting a taglist if anyone would like to be added! Next post will be a Yandere Denki x reader for a collab event!! 

Second Person Pov

“Kenji, can I ask you something?” Aone asked sitting beside his best friend of several years.

“Of course bubby! What’s up?” He said as he smacked his back playfully.

“I like this girl and I want to know how to.. You know…” He looked away from Futakuchi.

“Are you asking me for sex tips? Have you even asked her out yet?” Futakuchi said with a laugh.

“No.” His cheeks heated up as he continued to poke at his food.

“Tell you what body, come to my place after your last lecture, I have an idea.” Aone just nodded his head in agreement. “Well buddy, I have to go to a lab, but I will see you later.”

After Aone’s last class at 7pm he went to Futakuchi’s apartment. He gently knocked on the door as You opened it up.

“Oh hey Aone! Kenji-nii just finished dinner.” You said letting him in. His face was now bright red as he walked inside, taking off his shoes. He sat himself down at the table across from you.

The conversations were kept light at the table, mostly about school and part time jobs.

“I am going to head to my room for the night. Knock if you need anything Nii-san. Nice seeing you again Aone.” She said as she walked away.

Futakuchi waited about an hour before looking at Aone. They were currently sitting on the couch as they could hear your music coming from your bedroom for the past while.

“Alright Nobu, are you ready to learn?” Futakuchi asked, using his signature nickname for Aone.

“Are you suggesting that we will be?” He moved his hands frantically in the air.

“No not me! There is one other person that lives here after all.” Futakuchi said with a smirk. He stood up from the couch and began to walk away. He turned around to see Aone still not moving. “Are you coming or not?”

Aone stood up and rushed over to behind Futakuchi. They were now outside your door as Futakuchi pushed it open. You now stood in front of them in nothing but panties and one of your brothers oversized shirts.

“Kenji-nii!! I told you you have to knock!” You screamed as you went to grab some pants. A hand wrapped around your wrist pulling you back.

“Gosh Y/n, you’re always such a fucking tease. Walking around in my apartment in those panties when my friend is here?” He gestured down to your lace blue panties. He slammed you into his chest as he moved his hands to your ass.

“Kenji-nii stop.” You said embarrassed as you seen Aone in the doorway.

“Shh baby it’s okay. I want to teach Aone a few things about sex. Will you be a good girl for me and show your Nii-chan you are a good girl?” He asked you.

“”I’m a good girl Kenji-nii.” You whispered into his chest.

He pulled you into a passionate kiss as Aone felt himself growing hand in his pants.

“Are you going to come in Nobu?” Futakuchi asked.

Aone stepped inside the room as you told him to take his pants off and sit down on the bed. Aone followed instructions as you sat down on his naked thigh. Futakuchi pulled your shirt off.

“Wow, no bra baby? Someone was waiting eagerly in her room I see.” He reached out and grabbed a handful of your breasts as you moaned out. “Come on Nobu, take one of your tits in your mouth. Y/n you have to start moving on his leg, okay?” You nodded your head frantically as you began to slowly move.

Futakuchi placed both his hands on your hips as he began sliding your back and forth on Aone’s muscular thigh. Your moans got louder as did the wet spot on your panties.

“Please.” You whined out.

“Please what baby?”

“I need more please.” With that he pulled you off of Aone’s thigh, guiding you to lay down on the bed. Before Futakuchi could say anything Aone was already ripping your panties in half. He shoved his face right into your pussy as he licked up your clit. He shoved a finger inside you as he began to move at a fast pace.

“Wow Takanobu! Where did you learn that from?”

“Porn.” A soft whisper could be heard from him as he started sucking hard on your clit. You  could feel your stomach began to knot as you began to get louder.

“Pull out and wait then shove two inside.” Futakuchi ordered. Aone followed his instructions as you whined out about your loss of orgasm. “I promise this one will feel better.” Futakuchi said as he kissed your forehead.

Aone went back to your clit, sucking it. He shoved one finger in slowly, then another. He curled up a bit with them now inside you as he smiled to himself. Before you knew it he shoved a third one in as you screamed with pleasure. Futakuchi walked over to your bedside table as he pulled out a bottle of lube.

You were in total bliss now as Aone’s three fingers curled inside you at such a fast pace. You felt yourself get close again.

“Please let me cum! Please!” She whined out. Aone instantly pulled his fingers out and his mouth away.

“If you want to cum princess it will be on my cock.” Aone said. He whipped his shirt off as he climbed on top of you. He began slowly pulling his boxers down as his cock smacked his stomach. You looked at it as you licked your lips. It was bigger than your nii-sans, but you would never say that to him. Aone flipped you as you were on top of his large frame. He held on top your hips with a bruising grip. He lined himself up as he began to push in slowly.

“You are taking too long. She’s a cut slut she can take it.” Futakuchi said as he grabbed above Aone’s hands and slammed you down on his cock. You were sitting up still as Futakuchi pushed you down to lay on Aone’s chest. “Don’t be selfish and leave me out baby girl.” He whispered in your ear. You felt him spread your ass cheeks as he dropped cold liquid onto your puckered hole.

“Kenji!” You shouted.

“That’s Kenji-nii to you slut.” He said as he brought his hand down hard on your ass. Aone groaned as he felt you pussy clench.

“I’m sorry Nii-chan!”

“Come on Kenji. I want to fuck her.” Aone said impatiently. Kenji laughed as he shoved a finger in your ass.

“Kenji-nii!” You whined out, “Feels weird!”

“Add another.” Aone ordered Futakuchi. He smirked at Aone as he slipped another in and started to scissor your asshole. You began to cry from the feeling on top of Aone. Aone reached behind and grabbed your hair as he slammed your lips on his and began to kiss passionately.

While you were distracted Futakuchi pulled his two fingers out as he lubed up his cock and lined it up with your back entrance. He started sliding it in slowly as you tried to pull away from Aone. Aone pulled back to see you crying and whipped away your tears.

“Gosh little sis, your so fucking hot when you cry. Let’s move Takanobu.”

“Please stop, it hurts.” You whined. They didn’t listen as they moved at a slow pace in sync. Aone reached down and began rubbing your clit.

“I should have fucked this ass a long time agi fuck you are so tight.” He began to suck down on your neck leaving a trail of hickies in all the spots he could reach. You continued to whine as Futakuchi grabbed your throat. “You want to cry like a baby, I’ll give you a reason to cry.” He looked into Aone’s eyes as they both suddenly began to pound into you at a much faster pace. With the length of Aone, you could feel him bruising your cervix and hitting all those places that have never been touched before. The two felt each other's cock through the thin liner of skin separating them. You felt yourself getting close once again as you mumbled incoherent words. “She’s cumming Nobu, are you almost there?” He said between grunts.

“Should I cum on her stomach?” He asked.

“No, in her pussy. I’m going to cum inside this tight little asshole.”

“No please not inside! I don’t want Aone to cum inside!” You shouted as they continued to roughly pound into you.  

“Too bad princess. I want to fuck you full of my cum till you are dripping.” Aone said. You cried out as you came finally.

Aone and Futakuchi were not far behind. You felt hot ropes of cum shoot up into your cervix and ass as they emptied their loads and pulled out and collapsed on the bed.. Your stomach was noticeably bigger from  the large load of cum from Aone. He moved you to lay in between them as he pushed down on your stomach watching his cum ooze out.

“Fuck thats hot, huh Nobu?” Futakuchi said out of breath. Aone nodded back in response. “Now will you tell that girl you like her?” Aone nodded his head.

“Hey Y/n I like you.” Both you and Futakuchi looked at Aone, not moving. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“I-”

“Yes she will. You can come over here and have sex any time as long as I can join.” Futakuchi spoke for you.

“Speaking of sex,” Aone now moved on top of you this time. “It’s time for round two my beautiful girlfriend. I haven’t filled you up enough yet.” He said with a sadistic smile as he lined his hard cock up with your entrance again.

Masterlist 

[pretty-well-funded]

rented omega pt 2

continued from part 1

Tony wakes up the next morning to his cock being mounted and ridden like a coin-operated pony.

It’s...well, it’s not a first, but honestly it’s not something that’s happened in a long time.  It takes him a minute of staring up at the very young face on the mountee - a face he hadn’t inspected with any kind of detail the night before - to understand what’s going on.

The kid must misinterpret his blank look for outrage or something, because without slowing down, he says, “I’m sorry to wake you up, sir, I just...I just needed...”

“No, it’s fine, help yourself.”  

The kid’s face goes on an interesting emotional journey at that (admittedly a bizarre thing to say, but he hasn’t had coffee yet, alright?), but chooses not to comment.

The position does make Tony wonder though... “Aren’t we, um. Supposed to use gravity or whatever to help with the...”

“When we can, but it’s not required every time,” the kid informs him.  For all the omega-in-heat jokes, he’s remarkably collected.  Maybe last night is just what happens when they’re neglected - not like Tony’s met an omega before, much less one that’s in heat.  “It’s more important to inseminate me frequently than to use any particular position.  The benches are just to make up for the fact that we can’t knot.”

“Ah,” Tony says eloquently, “that makes sense.”

*

“Right, so I’m probably going to regret asking this,” Tony says once he’s got caffeine in his veins, “but how old are you?”

The kid’s face - Peter, his name is Peter - does something complicated.  “They didn’t give you my file?”

“Technically I think that they did, I just never, you know.  Read it.”

Peter looks as baffled by that as he had by Tony’s offer of caffeine, which he is apparently verboten.  

“Look, in all honesty, this was never my idea.  I don’t want kids and I never intended to rent a person, but my board has me by the balls, so here we are.”

There’s a degree of alarm and reluctance now, on Peter’s face.

“NOT that any of that is your problem.  I was being a selfish jackass last night - I won’t neglect your well-being again.  Or, not on purpose.  And if I do on accident, just sick JARVIS on me.”

The kid - and he’s definitely a kid - cocks his head, which only enhances his resemblance to a cocker spaniel.  “Jarvis?”

“You didn’t introduce yourself?” Tony directs to the ceiling.  It’s a pointless but helpful gesture for people experiencing J for the first time.

“Mr. Parker was out of sorts when he got here, Sir, I held off on introductions to prevent undue distress.”

Tony winces at the pointed use of the term, but ignores it.  “So that’s J, or JARVIS - if you need anything, he can help.  Hell, if there’s anything you just want to know.  He’s hooked into all the electronic functions in the entire building, as well as Stark Industries’ databases and the internet at large, so he’s pretty handy.”

Peter’s eyes are huge and excited.  “He’s an AI?”

Tony debates the company line for two seconds before shrugging and admitting, “Pretty much, yeah.  Just don’t tell anyone.”

He winks, and Peter - adorably, hilariously - blushes.  They had a Q&A earlier with Tony’s dick up his ass, and he didn’t look this out of sorts.

“Anyway, he’s used to running herd on me, so if I forget something you need, or forget that you...you know, exist, just tattle and he’ll sort it out.”

“Okay, thank you.  And JARVIS?”

“Yes, Mr. Parker?”

“You can call me Peter.”

“I’ll adjust my protocols.”

*

Tony forgets all about the kid’s age until later when he kills some data compilation time with a skim of the kid’s file.

He’s fifteen, but like. Barely.  Which. Makes sense.  The board was all set on the freshest eggs. It’s not like contracted omegas sit on the shelf long after they hit the minimum age.

No wonder he looks so fucking young. Because he is.

“Sir, Peter is requesting you return to the penthouse at your earliest convenience.”

Duty calls.

*

Stud service is about as arousing as Tony always assumed it would be.  He gets off - obviously, that’s the point - but it’s weirdly detached. Purpose-driven.  Tony is mostly spurred on by Peter’s pheromones, and Peter by what seems to be a disturbing level of training.  He’d rather not think about that.  

The point is, neither of them are mad with lust, exactly.

Tony does all the work this time, for fairness’s sake, has a relatively frustrated orgasm (his body finds the lack of knotting to be very off-putting, apparently), and then Peter puts his legs in the air for good luck.

Tony excuses himself, and has JARVIS order takeout.  Apparently his file - which Tony still hasn’t read - includes dietary restrictions and preferences.  Which, of course it does, the kid’s gotta eat. 

He’s about to make a break for it with his portion of the food when Peter finally wanders out, looking rumpled and flushed and more interesting to Tony than anyone should after he’s been there and done them.

“Where are you going?” Peter asks, sounding disappointed.  Immediately, his eyes widen and he backtracks.  “I’m sorry, sir, you don’t have to...thank you for...is this larb?  I love larb!”

“Yeah, JARVIS said.”

There’s a pointed lack of reply from the AI himself, and Tony sighs, putting his food back down and resigning himself to dinner with the kid.  Peter’s only reaction is a blush.

They eat in silence, at first, Tony staunchly ignoring the kid’s side-eye.  Eventually the kid starts, tentative, “Mr. Stark, can I ask...how old is JARVIS?”

Tony pauses, doing the math - JARVIS is like his left hand, always there, essential. He hasn’t thought of a time *before* JARVIS in so long.  

When he pinpoints the year of his programming and subtracts, Tony barks a laugh.  “Older than you, apparently.”

“Oh, wow, really?” Tony’s half-expecting some crack on his own age, but Peter looks earnestly impressed and excited.  “But other companies only achieved domain-specific expertise in like, 2014. If he’s that old... In the late 90s, IBM had just created Deep Blue.  Did JARVIS start as a rules-based system, with later upgrades, or - ”

Tony stares at Peter while he babbles away.  “How much do you know about AI?”

Peter’s cheeks pink, eyes falling abruptly back to his food.  “I mean, not as much as you, but - “

“Do they - is that...allowed?”

A little frown appears between Peter’s eyebrows.  “What, because reading books would make us less fertile?”

Tony blinks at the tone, and then JARVIS, bless him, chimes in, “Sir, no law prohibits the education of omegas, though most finishing schools don’t focus on advanced academics.  There is, however, a demand for omegas with a high IQ for individuals like yourself, whose offspring are expected to excel.  In fact, Peter’s intelligence was one of many factors that lead the Board to choose him.”

Peter looks flustered and embarrassed.  “I’m an asshole, kid, I’m sorry.  I don’t know much about...” He waves his hand vaguely.

“The treatment of one-third of the total population?” Peter snarks.

Tony feels a little smile start to form on his face.  You don’t like people who pull punches, sir.  “Yeah.  I’m kind of a dick.  So you learned about AI in school?”

“No, like JARVIS said, they don’t officially invest resources in that stuff.  But the school’s firewall only blocked omega’s rights and stuff, and we could get just about anything delivered from the library, so...”

“So you learned it yourself.”

Peter shrugs.  “As best I could, yeah.”

“To answer your question, I have some older ‘bots equipped with rules-based intelligence - they’re still in the lab, actually, you can meet them.  But JARVIS started out closer to AlphaGo than Deep Blue.  He was supposed to just be a natural-language user interface, but I overshot the mark a bit.”

By the incredulity on Peter’s face, he understands exactly what an understatement that is.

“But yeah, he’s had a lot of upgrades over the years.  The biggest limiter was hardware, really, computing power.  He’s the whole reason SI was miles ahead in computing technology.  Every time I wanted him to be smarter, I had to invent the damn tech myself.”

“That’s so cool.  I was talking to him all day.  When did he develop theory of mind?”

Before Tony can answer, J chimes in, “Oh, I believe it was the Great Vodka Binge of 2001, wasn’t it, sir?”

Tony laughs.  Peter is grinning.

“So he really is self-aware, right?”

“Oh yeah, true AGI.”

“Why isn’t...why doesn’t anybody know about him?”

“J is...”  Tony licks his bottom lip, a nervous tick, and only realizes that he’s done it when Peter’s eyes flick down for a moment.  “J is special. And frankly, dangerous.  Very few people know the full extent of his abilities.  I’ve created other AI that are more limited in capacity, but once you get them to a certain point, the only way to keep them limited is to deny them opportunities to learn.  And that always seems...”

“Sad,” Peter says.

Tony smiles, warmed by Peter’s comprehension.  “I was going to say barbaric, but yeah.  Sad works, too.”

A lot like keeping this boy locked away from the world just because he can get pregnant.  Tony doesn’t say that, but it sits there between them anyway, just like the larb.

*

lol, idk shit about AI, but hopefully I bluffed well enough.  the suckiest thing about writing smart characters whose expertise is wayyyy beyond yours is trying to keep them sounding smart without like...getting yourself a degree in engineering.

anyway, obviously this one is a lot less perverted than romantic.  variety is the spice of life, right?

Part 3

[dailytechnologynews]

The Coming Age of Imaginative Machines: If you aren't following the rise of synthetic media, the 2020s will hit you like a digital blitzkrieg

The faces on the left were created by a GAN in 2014; on the right are ones made in 2018.

Ian Goodfellow and his colleagues gave the world generative adversarial networks (GANs) five years ago, way back in 2014. They did so with fuzzy and ethereal black & white images of human faces, all generated by computers. This wasn't the start of synthetic media by far, but it did supercharge the field. Ever since, the realm of neural network-powered AI creativity has repeatedly kissed mainstream attention. Yet synthetic media is still largely unknown. Certain memetic-boosted applications such as deepfakes and This Person Does Not Exist notwithstanding, it's safe to assume the average person is unaware that contemporary artificial intelligence is capable of some fleeting level of "imagination."

Media synthesis is an inevitable development in our progress towards artificial general intelligence, the first and truest sign of symbolic understanding in machines (though by far not the thing itself--- rather the organization of proteins and sugars to create the rudimentary structure of what will someday become the cells of AGI). This is due to the rise of artificial neural networks (ANNs). Popular misconceptions presume synthetic media present no new developments we've not had since the 1990s, yet what separates media synthesis from mere manipulation, retouching, and scripts is the modicum of intelligence required to accomplish these tasks. The difference between Photoshop and neural network-based deepfakes is the equivalent to the difference between building a house with power tools and employing a utility robot to use those power tools to build the house for you.

Succinctly, media synthesis is the first tangible sign of automation that most people will experience.

Public perception of synthetic media shall steadily grow and likely degenerate into a nadir of acceptance as more people become aware of the power of these artificial neural networks without being offered realistic debate or solutions as to how to deal with them. They've simply come too quickly for us to prepare for, hence the seemingly hasty reaction of certain groups like OpenAI in regards to releasing new AI models.

Already, we see frightened reactions to the likes of DeepNudes, an app which was made solely to strip women in images down to their bare bodies without their consent. The potential for abuse (especially for pedophilic purposes) is self-evident. We are plunging headlong into a new era so quickly that we are unaware of just what we are getting ourselves into. But just what are we getting into?

Well, I have some thoughts.

I want to start with the field most people are at least somewhat aware of: deepfakes. We all have an idea of what deepfakes can do: the "purest" definition is taking one's face replacing it with another, presumably in a video. The less exact definition is to take some aspect of a person in a video and edit it to be different. There's even deepfakes for audio, such as changing one's voice or putting words in their mouth. Most famously, this was done to Joe Rogan.

I, like most others, first discovered deepfakes in late 2017 around the time I had an "epiphany" on media synthesis as a whole. Just in those two years, the entire field has seen extraordinary progress. I realized then that we were on the cusp of an extreme flourishing of art, except that art would be largely-to-almost entirely machine generated. But along with it would come a flourishing of distrust, fake news, fake reality bubbles, and "ultracultural memes". Ever since, I've felt the need to evangelize media synthesis, whether to tell others of a coming renaissance or to warn them to be wary of what they see.

This is because, over the past two years, I realized that many people's idea of what media synthesis is really stops at deepfakes, or they only view new development through the lens of deepfakes. The reason why I came up with "media" synthesis is because I genuinely couldn't pin down any one creative/data-based field AI wasn't going to affect. It wasn't just faces. It wasn't just bodies. It wasn't just voice. It wasn't just pictures of ethereal swirling dogs. It wasn't just transferring day to night. It wasn't just turning a piano into a harpsichord. It wasn't just generating short stories and fake news. It wasn't just procedurally generated gameplay. It was all of the above and much more. And it's coming so fast that I fear we aren't prepared, both for the tech and the consequences.

Indeed, in many discussions I've seen (and engaged in) since then, there's always several people who have a virulent reaction against the prospect neural networks can do any of this at all, or at least that it'll get better enough to the point it will affect artists, creators, and laborers. Even though we're already seeing the effects in the modeling industry alone.

Look at this gif. Looks like a bunch of models bleeding into and out of each other, right? Actually, no one here is real. They're all neural network-generated people.

Neural networks can generate full human figures, and altering their appearance and clothing is a matter of changing a few parameters or feeding an image into the data set. Changing the clothes of someone in a picture is as easy as clicking on the piece you wish you change and swapping it with any of your choice (or result in the personal wearing no clothes at all). A similar scenario applies for make-up. This is not like an old online dress-up flash game where the models must be meticulously crafted by an art designer or programmer— simply give the ANN something to work with, and it will figure out all the rest. You needn't even show it every angle or every lighting condition, for it will use commonsense to figure these out as well. Such has been possible since at least 2017, though only with recent GPU advancements has it become possible for someone to run such programs in real time.

The unfortunate side effect is that the amateur modeling industry will be vaporized. Extremely little will be left, and the few who do remain are promoted entirely because they are fleshy & real human beings. Professional models will survive for longer, but there will be little new blood joining their ranks. As such, it remains to be seen whether news and blogs speak loudly of the sudden, unexpected automation of what was once seen as a safe and human-centric industry or if this goes ignored and under-reported— after all, the news used to speak of automation in terms of physical, humanoid robots taking the jobs of factory workers, fast-food burger flippers, and truck drivers, occupations that are still in existence en masse due to slower-than-expected roll outs of robotics and a continued lack of general AI.

We needn't have general AI to replace those jobs that can be replicated by disembodied digital agents. And the sudden decline & disappearance of models will be the first widespread sign of this.

Actually, I have an hypothesis for this: media synthesis is one of the first signs that we're making progress towards artificial general intelligence.

Now don't misunderstand me. No neural network that can generate media is AGI or anything close. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that what we can see as being media synthesis is evidence that we've put ourselves on the right track. We never should've thought that we could get to AGI without also developing synthetic media technology.

What do you know about imagination?

As recently as five years ago, the concept of "creative machines" was cast off as impossible— or at the very least, improbable for decades. Indeed, the phrase remains an oxymoron in the minds of most. Perhaps they are right. Creativity implies agency and desire to create. All machines today lack their own agency. Yet we bear witness to the rise of computer programs that imagine and "dream" in ways not dissimilar to humankind.

Though lacking agency, this still meets the definition of imagination.

To reduce it to its most fundamental ingredients: Imagination = experience + abstraction + prediction. To get creativity, you need only add "drive". Presuming that we fail to create artificial general intelligence in the next ten years (an easy thing to assume because it's unlikely we will achieve fully generalized AI even in the next thirty), we still possess computers capable of the former three ingredients.

Someone who lives on a flat island and who has never seen a mountain before can learn to picture what one might be by using what they know of rocks and cumulonimbus clouds, making an abstract guess to cross the two, and then predicting what such a "rock cloud" might look like. This is the root of imagination.

As Descartes noted, even the strongest of imagined sensations is duller than the dullest physical one, so this image in the person's head is only clear to them in a fleeting way. Nevertheless, it's still there. Through great artistic skills, the person can learn to express this mental image through artistic means. In all but the most skilled, it will not be a pure 1-to-1 realization due to the fuzziness of our minds, but in the case of expressive art, it doesn't need to be.

Computers lack this fleeting ethereality of imagination completely. Once one creates something, it can give you the uncorrupted output.

Right now, this makes for wonderful tools and apps that many play around with online and on our phones.

But extrapolating this to the near future results in us coming face to face many heavy questions, and not just of the "can't trust what you see variety."

Because think about it.

If I'm a musical artist and I release an album, what if I accidentally recorded a song that's too close to an AI-generated track (all because AI generated literally every combination of notes?) Or, conversely, what if I have to watch as people take my music and alter it? I may feel strongly about it, but yet the music has its notes changed, its lyrics changed, my own voice changed, until it might as well be an entirely different artist making that music. Many won't mind, but many will.

I trust my mother's voice, as many do. So imagine a phisher managing to steal her voice, running it through a speech synthesis network, and then calling me asking me for my social security number. Or maybe I work at a big corporation, and while we're secure, we still recognize each other's voice, only to learn that someone stole millions of dollars from us because they stole the CEO's voice and used to to wire cash to a pirate's account.

Imagine going online and at least 70% of the "people" you encounter are bots. They're extremely coherent, and they have profile images of what looks to be real people. And who knows, you may even forge an e-friendship with some of them because they seem to share your interests. Then it turns out they're just bundles of code.

Oh, and those bot-people are also infesting social media and forums in the millions, creating and destroying trends and memes without much human input. Even if the mainstream news sites don't latch on at first, bot-created and bot-run news sites will happily kick it off for them. The news is supposed to report on major events, global and local. Even if the news is honest and telling the truth, how can they truly verify something like this, especially when it seems to be gaining so much traction and humans inevitably do get involved? Remember "Bowsette" from last year? Imagine if that was actually pushed entirely by bots until humans saw what looked like a happenin' kind of meme and joined in? That could be every year or perhaps even every month in the 2020s onwards.

Likewise, imagine you're listening to a pop song in one country, but then you go to another country and it's the exact same song but most of the lyrics have changed to be more suitable for their culture. That sort of cultural spread could stop... or it could be supercharged if audiences don't take to it and pirate songs/change them and share them at their own leisure.

Or maybe it's a good time to mention how commissioned artists are screwed? Commission work boards are already a race to the bottom— if a job says it pays three cents per word to write an article, you'd better list your going rate as 2 cents per word, and then inevitably the asking rate in general becomes 2 cents per word, and so on and so forth. That whole business might be over within five to ten years if you aren't already extremely established. Because if machines can mimic any art style or writing style (and then exaggerate & alter it to find some better version people like more), you'd have to really be tech-illiterate or very pro-human to want non-machine commissions.

And to go back to deepfakes and deep nudes, imagine the paratypical creep who takes children and puts them into sexual situations, any sexual situation they desire thanks to AI-generated images and video. It doesn't matter who, and it doesn't have to be real children either. It could even be themselves as a child if they still have the reference or use a de-aging algorithm on their face. It's squicky and disgusting to think about, but it's also inevitable and probably has already happened.

And my god, it just keeps going on and on. I can't do this justice, even with 40,000 characters to work with. The future we're about to enter is so wild, so extreme that I almost feel scared for humanity. It's not some far off date in the 22nd century. It's literally going to start happening within the next five years. We're going to see it emerge before our very eyes on this and other subreddits.

I'll end this post with some more examples.

Nvidia's new AI can turn any primitive sketch into a photorealistic masterpiece. You can even play with this yourself here.

Waifu Synthesis- real time generative anime, because obviously.

Few-Shot Adversarial Learning of Realistic Neural Talking Head Models | This GAN can animate any face GIF, supercharging deepfakes & media synthesis

Talk to Transformer | Feed a prompt into GPT-2 and receive some text. As of 9/29/2019, this uses the 774M parameter version of GPT-2, which is still weaker than the 1.5B parameter "full" version."

Text samples generated by Nvidia's Megatron-LM (GPT-2-8.3b). Vastly superior to what you see in Talk to Transformer, even if it had the "full" model.

Facebook's AI can convert one singer's voice into another | The team claims that their model was able to learn to convert between singers from just 5-30 minutes of their singing voices, thanks in part to an innovative training scheme and data augmentation technique. as a prototype for shifting vocalists or vocalist genders or anything of that sort.

TimbreTron for changing instrumentation in music. Here, you can see a neural network shift entire instruments and pitches of those new instruments. It might only be a couple more years until you could run The Beatles' "Here Comes The Sun" through, say, Slayer and get an actual song out of it.

AI generated album covers for when you want to give the result of that change its own album.

Neural Color Transfer Between Images [From 2017], showing how we might alter photographs to create entirely different moods and textures.

Scammer Successfully Deepfaked CEO's Voice To Fool Underling Into Transferring $243,000

"Experts: Spy used AI-generated face to connect with targets" [GAN faces for fake LinkedIn profiles]

This Marketing Blog Does Not Exist | This blog written entirely by AI is fully in the uncanny valley.

Chinese Gaming Giant NetEase Leverages AI to Create 3D Game Characters from Selfies | This method has already been used over one million times by Chinese gamers.

"Deep learning based super resolution, without using a GAN" [perceptual loss-based upscaling with transfer learning & progressive scaling], or in other words, "ENHANCE!"

Expert: AI-generated music is a "total legal clusterf*ck" | I've thought about this. Future music generation means that all IPs are open, any new music can be created from any old band no matter what those estates may want, and AI-generated music exists in a legal tesseract of answerless questions

And there's just a ridiculous amount more.

My subreddit, /r/MediaSynthesis, is filled with these sorts of stories going back to January of 2018. I've definitely heard of people come away in shock, dazed and confused, after reading through it. And no wonder.

[creatunsici1980-blog]

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[qarajhcreations]

Tales of Catacrach, D & D 5e, Handout: “Hraldon Tongue Ripper’s Journal”

A surprisingly clean and neatly written journal, apparantly it was written by the former inhabitant of the Torture Chamber below Hraldon Refuge. Thumbing through the pages speak of horrific means of torture and executions, carried out by the journal’s owner. A few entries stand out in particular.

Entry #1

Abborgardian Year (AgY) 604, 5th of the Claw of Winter: Arrived at this place, called “Hraldon Refuge”, or so they said in Cyndarr, this looks more like a prison. Which is why they got me here, I reckon. Had my first day of work today; an old Half-Orc, apparently the one who had this job before me. Someone upstairs caught, from what I know, he spoke a little more than he should about some high ranking mage. Good to know, I’ll keep quiet like a wall.

Brought my own hood and mask, the one he left smelled of something foul, no need to keep it around. The man was already weak when I got to him, no fight left, for a savage like him, that’s impressive. By the sight of his ribs, the mages had probably starved him for at least a weak. Others would have passed out by now, but Half-Orcs are tough fuckers. The message from the mages, a puffy robed Gnome, but certainly one with a strong grasp on magic, said that the Half-Orc must die. But slow, and without being discovered by other mages. Apparently, the Gnome was hoping to find out, who the Half-Orc had gotten information from. i looked at him through the hood, chained up, his hands and legs limp already. In his state, I wouldn’t be able to get much out of him, he wouldn’t last long, a few days at most.

I started with his thumbs, a large mallet for his right hand thumb, a sharpened bone-scissor for the other. He barely even flinched, what I wouldn’t have given to get to him, while he was at his primal strength. He tried to get eye-contact, though he should know, that to be impossible. There were no pleas for mercy, no sign of him telling anything. Oh well, I was just told to kill him slowly, I wasn’t directly told to obtain anything from him. I got up in the middle of the night. He was sleeping, or unconscious, I slit his throat slowly. He woke for a second, gurgled, and finally joined ranks with his ancestors. Or something. He bled quite a lot, I should consider getting a tray with some tight-sitting grating installed here, make it easier to clean from time to time.

Entry #2

AgY 604, 7th of the Claw of Winter: Spoke with the Gnome again, showed him the body. I had sealed up the throat-wound so it didn’t look fatal. Seing a Gnome angry is rather hilarious, a flame erupted shortly from his hand, was he trying to threaten me? Mistake on him if he were. I was told to get rid of the body, but the mages had had a recent attempt at poisoning. With their pantry being down here as well, there’s a lot of them coming and going. Can’t move a body out like that.

I’ll chop the body up, burn the flesh and blood off, and put the bones in the large cabinet. There should be plenty of room. I hope the smell of burning flesh won’t attract any of the mages or the guards they have hired in the barracks above. Should I have a taste? It’s cooked after all. Maybe just a little bite. Kept the tongue and sealed it in a jar.

Entry #30

AgY 604, 30th of the Drawing Down: I was tasked with a public execution. Not something I normally do, I work best without eyes gawking at my work. A prisoner, apparently a rogue mage from the east, had been captured. I had to prepare the female Half-Elf for the pyre, a common punishment for witches. Two heavy-armoured hirelings with halberds, poked her forward, her tattered robe was clotted up with blood from the stab wounds, not enough to kill, but just piercing the skin, the guards kept their distance. Straight behind them, one of those hulking golems, that the mages enjoy to make. It could barely fit in the barracks, having troubles with getting through the door.

The Half-Elf woman was pretty, her green eyes had a wild shimmer to them, oft hidden behind the locks of her raven-coloured hair. The guards left, as I took over. Free to do my bidding. They had gagged her with a tightly locked leather strap, that was starting to gnaw into her cheeks. Her eyes followed me as I circled her, even here, in my lair, she had rage, anger, contempt in her eyes, I knew she would try and attack me, where I to release her shackles, or her gag. As I pulled forth my curved dagger, she began squirming, trying to wiggle out of my reach. I could feel her pulse racing as I grabbed her by the throat, it was enticing. I told her to hold still, unless she wanted to get cut in the face. It took some gasping moments for her to understand that I was planning to cut her gag off. I released her throat, my fingers left red marks on her pale skin, and reached into a bag. I slided the dagger very slowly, and slower than I needed to, up along her throat, letting her feel the cold steel on her skin. She gasped, but managed to hold her composure. The point of my dagger made contact with the leather strap of the gag, slowly I began to cut the leather, it was sturdier than expected, which only made it so much better for me. She was shaking, scared, feeling the blunt side of my dagger against her cheek. She didn’t notice that I placed my other hand, now fitted with a Sea-stone ring, on her one arm.

A short, dry snap, as the leather strap was cut over. And as expected, she spat the gag out at me, and began to shout and yell incantations at me. It took her a while before she realised; her spells had no effect. Oh the hopeless struggle of the people I am given. I didn’t explain what I had done to her magic. She didn’t ask. I had been studying her closely, too closely... With my dagger at her throat, I took her body for my pleasure, I had not had such a rush since I took the old Half-Orc’s life almost a year ago. This finally broke her, she didn’t even scream anymore, just a blank, soul-less stare. Cutting her tongue out was almost too easy, but the effect of the Sea-stone was fading. I branded each of her cheeks, as was requested; the mark of treason. She might physically have died on that pyre, but she was dead inside before any flame struck her.

Entry #65

AgY 605, 22nd of Highsun The guards are confused, they speak about that the Abborgardian Empire have crumpled. Some mages had apparently tried to take power of Abhelm, with some magic conduits overcharging or something along those lines. And this happened about a week ago, given the distance from Abhelm to Cyndarr. I am not sure what this means, the guards talk about deserting, some of them already have. There are voices I can no longer hear, and the guards haven’t had their scheduled shift today.

As I went up to investigate, I heard the voice of the puffy Gnome. I hurried back to my chamber, and pretended to be cleaning some of my tools, when a sharp single knock, presumeably by the Gnome’s staff, was followed by the door being opened. It was never locked, no-one would leave unless they were meant to. The Gnome started a tiring tirade about loyalty, employment, my silence and such. I pretended to not know, which seemed to calm him significantly. The last thing he said before leaving was “Be ready, you may have a lot of work in the coming time...”

Entry #77

AgY 605, 6th of the Fading The Gnome was right, of course. I had several mages that needed the treason branding, a couple of fingers were clipped, some toes as well, but I refrained from taking tongues, tempting as it was. The Gnome seems pleased that I’m following orders.

At least half of the guards are now gone, whether they ran, or were killed, I don’t know. And I don’t really care either. But I know that the time where I am the master of this place, with all the prisoners in the cells at my disposal, is coming soon.

Entry #82

AgY 605, 13th of the Fading His paranoia finally snapped, his hair and beard and robe had scorch marks, when he entered my chamber. The calm, cold arrogance that had been in the Gnome’s eyes earlier, was exchanged for a cold, blank madness. He was stuttering, spitting at almost every word, I could make out something along the lines of backstabbing bastard and so on, but most of it was a mixture of Gnomish, common and Dragonic.

Using a new supply of Sea-stones, I calmly walked over and gently grabbed his one shoulder with a Sea-stone ring on my finger. At first he was furious, ready to attempt to hurl spells at me, but it seemed his madness was also tied to magic, as he started to calm down, and just as he was trying to reason, I knocked him out with the branding iron. It was a surprising hassle to tie him up, his limbs being much short than I was used to. I cut out his tongue, the blood in his throat woke him up. If he was incoherent before, it was even worse now.

I drove a nail through one of his hands, the blood dripping down in the grating I had made. And then I went for some food in the pantry, I didn’t see any of the guards. The meal tasted extra sweet that evening.

Entry #83

AgY 605, 14th of the Fading I added a nail to the Gnome’s other hand, he is barely conscious now. So I brought him some ice-cold water from the creek up on the surface, keeping him alive till the very last point is going to be a lot of work. But I have time. Plenty of time.

Entry #84

AgY 605, 16th of the Fading The Gnome hasn’t got far to live now, he have lost too much blood, he is constantly slipping in and out of consciousness. I had to sew his eyelids open, I needed to see the moment that life left his worthless body.

Entry #85

AgY 605, 17th of the Fading He died shortly after midnight. As he did, the entire walls shook, and I heard a massive crash coming from the barracks above. Upon investigating, the cieling in the barracks had collapsed, cutting of access to the surface.

Entry #90

AgY 605, 24th of the Fading The pantry is empty, the food I didn’t manage to eat have gone bad. There is still some wine left. The Gnome will do as food source now.

I’ve discovered a weakness in the barracks wall, I saw clayish water seep through a crack. If I can weigh out my strength and the rations the Gnome will provide, I think I can get through.

Entry #101

(no date have been entered for this entry) I’ve made it, I’ve dug a tunnel up to the surface. I pushed the Gnome’s cleanly gnawed bones into the cabinet, where the bones of my first victim were still stashed.

I have found some books and have begun to study basic magic, if I had known the possibilities one could use magic to hurt... and regenerate and then hurt again. Endless torture, the thought warms my heart even now.

I’ve installed a sawblade to hurt anyone not observant enough, the wiring was difficult, but it should now be hooked up to the slab, just around the corner.

Entry #102

(no date, the text is barely readable, written by a visibly shaken hand) Well, this is it, it is over. My freedom was short. I ate some roots and mushrooms from the forest. I am dying, I’ve hurled blood three times today already. Well, this will be the first, and only time, I end a life quickly.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Drunks

Estinien + Aymeric + tons of booze = Agnes is the only sober one left and has to deal with these two drunk asses. Estinien/Agnes. NSFW.

“A nice evening of food, drink, and merriment, my dear friends!” That’s what Aymeric wrote to Estinien and Agnes after their return from the end of the universe and after Agnes had suitable rest. My poor love wouldn’t leave me alone for five minutes. Beneath it all, he’s so nervous. She, of course, accepted in the invitation eagerly, while Estinien grumbled about Aymeric needing better booze in his home if he was going to come over.

The day in question, Agnes and Estinien left for Ishgard from Costa del Sol with Agnes bringing an assortment of fresh seafood for her and Aymeric to cook.

“I’ll finally be cooking with Aymeric, love! I can’t wait to see his kitchen. I bet it’s very fancy.” Agnes said excitedly as they made their way to Borel Manor from the airship landing. Thankfully it’s not far.

“Too fancy, if you ask me. Not that he’s even in it cooking much anymore. Too bloody busy.” Estinien said, adjusting the box of the fresh seafood. He had insisted that he carry it instead of Agnes. He shouted, ���You’re bloody pregnant, woman!” at me and stole the box immediately. What a sweetie. Overprotective sweetie. “And here we are.”

Agnes and Estinien were greeted at the door by none other than the lord of house himself. “My friends! Please, please come in and make yourselves at home!” Aymeric beamed at them. Once inside, he embraced Agnes and shook Estinien’s hand. For fuck’s sake, just hug already. “How was the trip from Costa del Sol?”

“Oh, it was lovely, Aymeric. Clear skies so we could see so much!” Agnes replied. “And as promised---fresh seafood, caught just this morning!”

Aymeric took the box from Estinien and looked inside. “Ah, lobster, clams, shark tuna, and fullmoon sardines. Excellent. We shall have a feast!”

“Better be drinks going with this feast, Aymeric.” Estinien grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Estinien, I have all we need for our evening. Now, shall I get you a drink?”

“Thought you’d never ask, old friend.”

Several hours later, and Agnes realized that she should never ever doubt Aymeric being a man of his word. He and Agnes, as promised, cooked a marvelous feast of seafood and sides for the three of them to share. Aymeric even prepared chocolate souffles for dessert. Drinks flowed freely (water and lemonade for me) and continued to flow. And flow. And flow.

“Am’ryc, Agi’s my ssschweeet sssawshsage roll.”

“’Ssssstinnniennnn, you s-s-s-s-mental bashtard.”

Fuck me, it’s happening again. Only now it’s the two of them together. And I’m the only adult here.

“AGI! Did you tell Am’ryc we’re having a *hic* girl?” Estinien hiccupped, pulling her close. “Our little tiny baby ish a girl.”

Aymeric raised his glass. “A tosht to the mother and baby!” He drank what was left of the amber liquid in his tumbler and filled it again.

Estinien likewise drained his glass of ale. “Another!” he shouted, slamming the glass on the side table.

“Love, I think you both-“

“Need more, obvisshhly!” Estinien looked around and grabbed another ale from the center table. “A man’ssss drink, Am’ryc! Not that *hic* pissshhy shit you drink.”

This is like watching two airships collide very slowly.

“I’ll have you know, sher, I only *hic* haf the finesht in my home!” He admired the amber liquid in his glass, staring intently. His blue eyes completely glazed over. “Ish sssoooooooo good.”

“Um, you both could do with some water I think.” Agnes extricated herself from Estinien, who whined. “I’m just getting water, love. I’ll be right back.”

“NOOOO. Want my Agi…squisssshy Agi.” He pouted at her. Oh my gods, if this weren’t so awkward I’d say that’s the cutest he’s ever been. That face!

“I’ll be right back, okay? Aymeric’s here though, and he’s so happy to see us! Aren’t you, Aymeric?” Agnes said, keeping her voice calm and level, as she went to fill two glasses from the pitcher off to the side of the room.

“Full glad am I to sssshe you both. Been too fucking long.” He gestured with his glass at Estinien. “And you! You! You! Don’t write! Don’t ssssssshe me! Juss leave and fuck off!”

Uh oh.

“I had *hic* my reasshons. It doessshnt mean I don’t care, Am’ryc. Juss gotta…do schit *hic* schomtimes.”

That’s certainly one way to explain why he left. Agnes returned, first handing a glass of water to Estinien and then removing the one in Aymeric’s hand and replacing it with the water. “I’d appreciate if you both took some sips of this, please.” Desperate times call for drastic measures. “For me.” Agnes did her best “pretty please” face.

They both sipped. Victory!

Estinien slammed the glass down and put his arms around Agnes once more. “Ssschawsage roll. All mine.”

Ooookay, we’re doing this in front of your best friend. Awkward.

“Why’ssssh Ag’nsh a sssschawsage roll, Shtinien?”

Agnes’ eyes widened. Please no. Please no. Don’t say it.

“Becausssheeeeee sschhhheeee’s,” oh my gods please don’t say it, or I will literally burst into flames right here. “fat and meaty and squishy, and full o’ rolls. Obviousssshy.”

“Uh, love-“

“Makesssh sschense.” Aymeric nodded, as if agreeing with a point on a policy proposal and not that his dearest friend’s wife, who is also a dear friend, is in fact fat and meaty and squishy and full of rolls.

“And I love her ssssschooooooo much. And our baby. Lil baby Varl’no.” He rubbed her growing belly. “Lil baby. Love you. Sssscheeee Agi! Sssscheee!”

“See what, love?” Do I want to know?

He continued rubbing her belly, grinning. “You were ‘fraid you couldn’t tell you’re havin’ a baby. ‘member?”

You’re telling your best friend this?! Right now?! “Love, I-“

“And sscheeee! Big fat tummy with big fat baby. Eashy to tell, right Am’ryc?”

Aymeric, please have some awareness…

Aymeric nodded sagely. “Eashy.”

“SSSSCHEEEE! Am’ryc thinsh sscho too.” Estinien just would not stop rubbing her belly. “Lil baby. Big Agi. Big baby. Big Agi. Love you.”

“Love, really, I-“ I want to run back to the cottage and hope this is a dream.

“AM’RYC!”

“YESSH?”

“Agi’sh havin’ a baby. And I love her! And I love the baby! Thick ‘n pretty and havin’ my baby.”

“I love you too, ‘Stinien. But maybe have some more water...” Agnes tried to reach for his water glass, but he enveloped her into a big hug.

“MY AGI! Sssssche Am’ryc, my Agi.”

Aymeric, once more, nodded with a grave seriousness. “Your Ag’nsh. I mish you both. Work, work, work.”

“Oh, Aymeric, now that things have calmed down, we’ll come by more often! And after the baby’s born, bring her!” Agnes said, caught in her husband’s drunken embrace. And, there’s a hand on my belly again.

“You’re the besht, Ag’nsh. And you too, ‘Ssshien. My heart bursht for you both.”

Estinien kept holding Agnes, rubbing her belly and kissing her cheek. “I love my Agi! Ssschawsage roll.”

Mercifully, Aymeric’s manservant knocked and peeked in. “All is well, my lord?”

“Actually,” Agnes said loudly, “the lord of the house is completely shitfaced and so is my dear husband. In my condition, I really can’t be dragging them both to bed.”

Help me. Please.

The manservant sighed dramatically. “Ah, they’ve done it again.” He walked towards Aymeric and began to take glasses away from him.

“I’m sorry…again?” Agnes asked, trying to free herself from Estinien’s embrace.

With a laugh, the manservant helped Aymeric out of his chair. “Oh yes, my lord and Ser Estinien would imbibe quite heavily as younger men. They’d go all night drinking and laughing. ‘Twas one of the few times I saw your dear husband smile. And they always somehow ended up on that couch with Ser Estinien hugging my lord and refusing to let go of him.” He shook his head. “Ah, but that was years and years ago now. As they progressed through the ranks, those nights became less and less frequent. Until tonight, obviously, Mistress Agnes.” Aymeric’s manservant put one arm around his shoulders and the other around his narrow waist. “Come, my lord, it’s time to you went to bed.”

“Yesh, bed. Night, Ag’nsh. ‘Sshtinin.” Aymeric smiled drunkenly and waved.

“I’ll be down in a moment, Mistress Agnes, should you require my help with Ser Estinien.” What a fucking saint to have dealt with these two. He disappeared with Aymeric, and Agnes heard them going up the grand staircase to the second floor.

But Estinien would not let go of Agnes. “Love, Aymeric has a guest room for us. I think it’s time we went upstairs.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Want my Agi.” Estinien whined, holding onto her tighter. “Want my baby.”

Estinien, I love you so much but please. “Love, we can cuddle more upstairs, I promise. I just want to lie down. That’s all. We can cuddle as much as you’d like. Just…we need to get upstairs.”

Estinien stared at her like she was speaking another language.

Please. I can’t drag you like I did before.

“Agi?”

“Yes, love?” I am at the end of my rope here.

“Lesh go upsshtairs and cuddle.”

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! “Can you get up?”

Estinien snorted. “’Courssh.” He managed to get to his feet but was wobbling badly. “Whoaaaaa.” He instinctively put an arm around Agnes’ shoulders.

Okay, I think I manage this. “Ready, love?”

“Ready for CUDDLESH!”

With a great deal of care and patience, Agnes managed to get Estinien upstairs into their guest room, undressed, and into bed. Agnes was on her side, trying to curl into Estinien, who was on his back and had an arm around her.

“This position is going to be more difficult for us as time goes on, love. The bigger I get, I won’t be able to get in quite so close.”

She heard a whine. Uh oh. I shouldn’t have said that.

“AGI! Want you wiff me. Wanna touch. Wanna cuddle. Wanna fuck.”

There will be no fucking tonight! “Love, let’s just cuddle. We can fuck tomorrow, okay?”

Estinien pouted again. “Okay. Cuddlesh now. Cuddle Agi. Cuddle lil baby.” He kissed her forehead and sighed. “Gotta dream ‘bout my sssschawsage roll.”

“And what do you want to dream about, love?” He’s going to dream about fucking, isn’t he?

“Schexy ssschawsage roll gettin’ love.” Ah, so it is about fucking. “All the love…pinsh the asssh…sssqueeeeeeze tittiessh…OH NO!”

“What? What’s wrong, love?”

“Can’t ssssqueeeeze tittiesh. Milk’sh for lil baby.”

Agnes blinked. He…what?

“Tittiesh for lil baby. Resht is mine. Gonna have my ssschawsage roll be the schexiesht ever.” He sighed happily. “Meansh one thing!”

Uhhhhhhhhh one thing? “What’s that?”

“BABIESH! All the babiesh! Keep my Agi happy. Give my Agi what she wantsh. Lots of lil tiny babiesh in her big fat tummy. Sssquissshy. Sssssquishy.”

Agnes tried and failed to stifle a laugh. “Oh, love! That’s positively adorable.” We both agreed on having a large family, so maybe that’s where his drink-addled mind wandered off to?

Estinien’s eyes widened, and he whispered, “Ssschometimessh I dream I’m a dragon!”

Oh? “And how’s that, love?”

“Ish good. But ish me, not *hic* Nid-Nid-Nidhag.” NIDHAG?!?!?! “Ish me. And you’re there.”

“What am I doing?” I really hope this isn’t going where I think it’s going…

“Wearin’ pretty dressh. Juss wanna cuddle. BUT THEN!”

Oh dear, this is going where I think it’s going…

“THEN! We haff a lil fuck. Okay, not a lil fuck. Ish a big one. Big fuck. And THEN!”

And then…? What? I die from being impaled by my husband’s massive dragon cock? These are words that I should never have to say---let alone think!!!

“AND THEN!!!!” He put his hand on her belly and smiled. “Eggsh go in. All the babiesh. Lil babiesh.”

…wait? Eggs? In me? All the eggs? How many eggs? And wait! Won’t they get bigger? Wait what? “Love, eggs…?”

“Eggsh. Lil baby eggsh. All of them. Sssschafe and sssschound. Nish and warm. I’ll take care of you.” Estinien happily, drunkenly pat her belly. “Sschoooooo many lil babish. Schoooo pretty.”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ummmmmmmmmm. “Uh, love,” I suppose I should play along? “I’m not big enough for all those eggs? Surely?”

Estinien suddenly looked stricken. “AGI! You’ll be fineeeeeee. Make ssschure you’re okay. Big schexy Agi. Got you in my *hic* claw. Carry you ‘round. Keep babiesh safe and warm and happy. AGI!”

This is so strange, but the subconscious does strange things when we sleep? That’s right, right? We dream really weird shit? “Yes, love?”

“You gotta make sschure to eat. Lil babiesh need food.” Estinien continued to rub her belly. “You gotta eat! They need foooood. But dooooooon worry *hic* I’ll take care of you. Get food. Get belly rubsh. Fluffy pillowsh. Lotsa cuddlesh.”

The sentiment is lovely! He’s so sweet, but good gods. “Love-“

“The eggsh sshtay sschafe. And dooooooon worry. Big ‘nuff to hold ‘em all. Gotta take care of my Agi.”

Agnes caressed his face. “And you always will, my grumpy dragon. I love you.”

“Love you my schweeet Agi. And the lil baby too. THE EGGSH! Love the eggsh…”

Oh, I think he’s finally drifting off…have…good(?) dreams, love…

***

Agnes awoke the next morning to see Estinien not in bed with her. She touched his pillow, sighing. Maybe he woke up early with a headache and went to find a potion for it. Having taken a shower, put on some clothes, and doing her hair, she went down the stairs and walked to the kitchen but stopped when she heard Aymeric and Estinien speaking.

“My head…my poor head…” Aymeric groaned. “Has it always been like this after we’ve had too much drink?”

“Hmph. Maybe you can’t handle your drink anymore, but-“ Agnes then heard Estinien groan. “Please tell me you have something other than bloody tea in this house.”

“I think there’s some coffee. That’s usually for when Agnes has stopped here, as she’s the one who drinks it. I can make us a pot.” Aymeric started to make the coffee, and Agnes heard Estinien plop into a chair. “I am truly happy for both of you, you know. My two dearest friends married and having a child---it’s wonderful.”

“I’m frankly still amazed that I see her next to me every morning. And in bed every night. I did naught to deserve her and yet…here we are.”

As if by instinct, Agnes touched her engagement ring and wedding band. Oh, love. You deserve everything. I wish I could give you everything you want.

“She’s a singular woman, Estinien. One I’m glad to call friend. To see the two of you together fills my heart with joy.” She heard Aymeric place mugs on the table. “Any names chosen yet for the young lady?”

“Esme, after my mother. We had thought about Luci, but Esme Varlineau has more of a ring to it.” He paused. “And I know mother would’ve been delighted to have her first grandchild named in her honor.”

“First grandchild? Planning more already?” Agnes could see the twinkle in Aymeric’s sapphire eyes.

“Aye, we want a large family, though we know not where exactly to make a home yet. And before you even say anything, I don’t think we’d permanently stay in Ishgard. I want my children to see the world. See all its wonders.” There was another pause. “Agi wants that too. She’s so damn excited to see more of the world, taking our children with us.”

“I see there’s no persuading you then, my friend. But, there will always be a position and home for you both here should you choose.”

“Much appreciated, Aymeric.”

Oh gods, these two fucking saps…and me, I’m a sap too. Ishgard will always, always have a special place in my heart. Agnes decided it was time to make her presence known and entered the kitchen. “Good morning, you two!” She kissed Estinien and smiled at Aymeric. “How’s the headaches?”

“What headaches?” They both said in unison.

Agnes stood with her hands on her hips, looking decidedly unimpressed. “With how much you both had last night, I would be shocked if your heads weren’t throbbing at the moment. And besides, coffee. Neither of you really drink it.”

“Ah, cannot fool dear Agnes, Estinien.” Aymeric laughed, motioning for Agnes to sit beside him. “Speaking of last night, my memories are a bit…fuzzy.”

“As are mine. I somehow ended up in bed but know not how I got there.”

“Well,” Agnes giggled. “you two were quite entertaining, if not majorly embarrassing.”

Aymeric’s eyes widened, as did Estinien’s. “What did we do, Agi?” Her husband asked, looking mildly afraid.

“Oh, just being drunkenly adorable! You were clinging to me and told Aymeric I’m your sausage roll.”

“Sausage roll?”

“Aymeric, shut up.”

“And then you told him that I thought I wouldn’t look like I’m pregnant, but thankfully you both agreed that I do, indeed, look pregnant.”

“Agi, please-“

“I mean, Agnes, you do look pregnant, of course-“

“And then, your manservant came and took you to bed, Aymeric, while I managed to get Estinien up to the guest room.”

“Ah, so that’s how I ended up in my bed.” Aymeric said thoughtfully. “Guillaume hasn’t done that in ages.”

“Agi, what-“

“Oh! And then, you told me about a dream of yours with a dragon-“

Estinien’s eyes bugged out. “Agi, why don’t we get some breakfast? Aymeric, I think it’s time for breakfast. Could you see to that? Agi and I will wait in the dining room.”

Aymeric smirked and wordlessly left the table to begin preparations for breakfast.

Once entering the dining room, Agnes laughed. “What’s the matter, love? Didn’t want Aymeric to know about your massive dragon cock filling me with eggs in your dream? Oh gods, that was both very strange but so hilarious! Nidhag!”

“Agi, I-“ Estinien’s face was as red as a beet. “It was just a dream! The one time! Just the once!” I think he doth protest too much.

“Oh love, I don’t care if it was just the once or a recurring dream. Our minds do many things in our sleep, having us dream strange things or good things or bad things.” She gave him a hug. “What mattered most is that whether you are a dragon or a man, you will care for me and our baby. That’s so wonderful. And makes me love you all the more.” She looked up at him and smiled the biggest, happiest smile she could. “I love you, Estinien. And we’ll have so many adventures together!”

“I love you too, sweet girl.” Estinien kissed Agnes softly on her lips and then put his hands on her belly. “And you too, my daughter. You’re very lucky to have a mother like yours. Come, sit down, Agi. I’ll get some decaf coffee for you. And hopefully Aymeric will have breakfast sorted soon.”

Agnes wrinkled her nose. “So you can make sure I eat enough for the eggs?” She asked with a wink.

Through her uncontrollable giggles, she could hear a strangled sound come from her husband’s throat as he scurried back into the kitchen.

[eurekakinginc]

"The Coming Age of Imaginative Machines: If you aren't following the rise of synthetic media, the 2020s will hit you like a digital blitzkrieg"- Detail: The faces on the left were created by a GAN in 2014; on the right are ones made in 2018.Ian Goodfellow and his colleagues gave the world generative adversarial networks (GANs) five years ago, way back in 2014. They did so with fuzzy and ethereal black & white images of human faces, all generated by computers. This wasn't the start of synthetic media by far, but it did supercharge the field. Ever since, the realm of neural network-powered AI creativity has repeatedly kissed mainstream attention. Yet synthetic media is still largely unknown. Certain memetic-boosted applications such as deepfakes and This Person Does Not Exist notwithstanding, it's safe to assume the average person is unaware that contemporary artificial intelligence is capable of some fleeting level of "imagination."Media synthesis is an inevitable development in our progress towards artificial general intelligence, the first and truest sign of symbolic understanding in machines (though by far not the thing itself--- rather the organization of proteins and sugars to create the rudimentary structure of what will someday become the cells of AGI). This is due to the rise of artificial neural networks (ANNs). Popular misconceptions presume synthetic media present no new developments we've not had since the 1990s, yet what separates media synthesis from mere manipulation, retouching, and scripts is the modicum of intelligence required to accomplish these tasks. The difference between Photoshop and neural network-based deepfakes is the equivalent to the difference between building a house with power tools and employing a utility robot to use those power tools to build the house for you.Succinctly, media synthesis is the first tangible sign of automation that most people will experience.Public perception of synthetic media shall steadily grow and likely degenerate into a nadir of acceptance as more people become aware of the power of these artificial neural networks without being offered realistic debate or solutions as to how to deal with them. They've simply come too quickly for us to prepare for, hence the seemingly hasty reaction of certain groups like OpenAI in regards to releasing new AI models.Already, we see frightened reactions to the likes of DeepNudes, an app which was made solely to strip women in images down to their bare bodies without their consent. The potential for abuse (especially for pedophilic purposes) is self-evident. We are plunging headlong into a new era so quickly that we are unaware of just what we are getting ourselves into. But just what are we getting into?Well, I have some thoughts.I want to start with the field most people are at least somewhat aware of: deepfakes. We all have an idea of what deepfakes can do: the "purest" definition is taking one's face replacing it with another, presumably in a video. The less exact definition is to take some aspect of a person in a video and edit it to be different. There's even deepfakes for audio, such as changing one's voice or putting words in their mouth. Most famously, this was done to Joe Rogan.I, like most others, first discovered deepfakes in late 2017 around the time I had an "epiphany" on media synthesis as a whole. Just in those two years, the entire field has seen extraordinary progress. I realized then that we were on the cusp of an extreme flourishing of art, except that art would be largely-to-almost entirely machine generated. But along with it would come a flourishing of distrust, fake news, fake reality bubbles, and "ultracultural memes". Ever since, I've felt the need to evangelize media synthesis, whether to tell others of a coming renaissance or to warn them to be wary of what they see.This is because, over the past two years, I realized that many people's idea of what media synthesis is really stops at deepfakes, or they only view new development through the lens of deepfakes. The reason why I came up with "media" synthesis is because I genuinely couldn't pin down any one creative/data-based field AI wasn't going to affect. It wasn't just faces. It wasn't just bodies. It wasn't just voice. It wasn't just pictures of ethereal swirling dogs. It wasn't just transferring day to night. It wasn't just turning a piano into a harpsichord. It wasn't just generating short stories and fake news. It wasn't just procedurally generated gameplay. It was all of the above and much more. And it's coming so fast that I fear we aren't prepared, both for the tech and the consequences.Indeed, in many discussions I've seen (and engaged in) since then, there's always several people who have a virulent reaction against the prospect neural networks can do any of this at all, or at least that it'll get better enough to the point it will affect artists, creators, and laborers. Even though we're already seeing the effects in the modeling industry alone.Look at this gif. Looks like a bunch of models bleeding into and out of each other, right? Actually, no one here is real. They're all neural network-generated people.Neural networks can generate full human figures, and altering their appearance and clothing is a matter of changing a few parameters or feeding an image into the data set. Changing the clothes of someone in a picture is as easy as clicking on the piece you wish you change and swapping it with any of your choice (or result in the personal wearing no clothes at all). A similar scenario applies for make-up. This is not like an old online dress-up flash game where the models must be meticulously crafted by an art designer or programmer— simply give the ANN something to work with, and it will figure out all the rest. You needn't even show it every angle or every lighting condition, for it will use commonsense to figure these out as well. Such has been possible since at least 2017, though only with recent GPU advancements has it become possible for someone to run such programs in real time.The unfortunate side effect is that the amateur modeling industry will be vaporized. Extremely little will be left, and the few who do remain are promoted entirely because they are fleshy & real human beings. Professional models will survive for longer, but there will be little new blood joining their ranks. As such, it remains to be seen whether news and blogs speak loudly of the sudden, unexpected automation of what was once seen as a safe and human-centric industry or if this goes ignored and under-reported— after all, the news used to speak of automation in terms of physical, humanoid robots taking the jobs of factory workers, fast-food burger flippers, and truck drivers, occupations that are still in existence en masse due to slower-than-expected roll outs of robotics and a continued lack of general AI.We needn't have general AI to replace those jobs that can be replicated by disembodied digital agents. And the sudden decline & disappearance of models will be the first widespread sign of this.Actually, I have an hypothesis for this: media synthesis is one of the first signs that we're making progress towards artificial general intelligence.Now don't misunderstand me. No neural network that can generate media is AGI or anything close. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that what we can see as being media synthesis is evidence that we've put ourselves on the right track. We never should've thought that we could get to AGI without also developing synthetic media technology.What do you know about imagination?As recently as five years ago, the concept of "creative machines" was cast off as impossible— or at the very least, improbable for decades. Indeed, the phrase remains an oxymoron in the minds of most. Perhaps they are right. Creativity implies agency and desire to create. All machines today lack their own agency. Yet we bear witness to the rise of computer programs that imagine and "dream" in ways not dissimilar to humankind.Though lacking agency, this still meets the definition of imagination.To reduce it to its most fundamental ingredients: Imagination = experience + abstraction + prediction. To get creativity, you need only add "drive". Presuming that we fail to create artificial general intelligence in the next ten years (an easy thing to assume because it's unlikely we will achieve fully generalized AI even in the next thirty), we still possess computers capable of the former three ingredients.Someone who lives on a flat island and who has never seen a mountain before can learn to picture what one might be by using what they know of rocks and cumulonimbus clouds, making an abstract guess to cross the two, and then predicting what such a "rock cloud" might look like. This is the root of imagination.As Descartes noted, even the strongest of imagined sensations is duller than the dullest physical one, so this image in the person's head is only clear to them in a fleeting way. Nevertheless, it's still there. Through great artistic skills, the person can learn to express this mental image through artistic means. In all but the most skilled, it will not be a pure 1-to-1 realization due to the fuzziness of our minds, but in the case of expressive art, it doesn't need to be.Computers lack this fleeting ethereality of imagination completely. Once one creates something, it can give you the uncorrupted output.Right now, this makes for wonderful tools and apps that many play around with online and on our phones.But extrapolating this to the near future results in us coming face to face many heavy questions, and not just of the "can't trust what you see variety."Because think about it.If I'm a musical artist and I release an album, what if I accidentally recorded a song that's too close to an AI-generated track (all because AI generated literally every combination of notes?) Or, conversely, what if I have to watch as people take my music and alter it? I may feel strongly about it, but yet the music has its notes changed, its lyrics changed, my own voice changed, until it might as well be an entirely different artist making that music. Many won't mind, but many will.I trust my mother's voice, as many do. So imagine a phisher managing to steal her voice, running it through a speech synthesis network, and then calling me asking me for my social security number. Or maybe I work at a big corporation, and while we're secure, we still recognize each other's voice, only to learn that someone stole millions of dollars from us because they stole the CEO's voice and used to to wire cash to a pirate's account.Imagine going online and at least 70% of the "people" you encounter are bots. They're extremely coherent, and they have profile images of what looks to be real people. And who knows, you may even forge an e-friendship with some of them because they seem to share your interests. Then it turns out they're just bundles of code.Oh, and those bot-people are also infesting social media and forums in the millions, creating and destroying trends and memes without much human input. Even if the mainstream news sites don't latch on at first, bot-created and bot-run news sites will happily kick it off for them. The news is supposed to report on major events, global and local. Even if the news is honest and telling the truth, how can they truly verify something like this, especially when it seems to be gaining so much traction and humans inevitably do get involved? Remember "Bowsette" from last year? Imagine if that was actually pushed entirely by bots until humans saw what looked like a happenin' kind of meme and joined in? That could be every year or perhaps even every month in the 2020s onwards.Likewise, imagine you're listening to a pop song in one country, but then you go to another country and it's the exact same song but most of the lyrics have changed to be more suitable for their culture. That sort of cultural spread could stop... or it could be supercharged if audiences don't take to it and pirate songs/change them and share them at their own leisure.Or maybe it's a good time to mention how commissioned artists are screwed? Commission work boards are already a race to the bottom— if a job says it pays three cents per word to write an article, you'd better list your going rate as 2 cents per word, and then inevitably the asking rate in general becomes 2 cents per word, and so on and so forth. That whole business might be over within five to ten years if you aren't already extremely established. Because if machines can mimic any art style or writing style (and then exaggerate & alter it to find some better version people like more), you'd have to really be tech-illiterate or very pro-human to want non-machine commissions.And to go back to deepfakes and deep nudes, imagine the paratypical creep who takes children and puts them into sexual situations, any sexual situation they desire thanks to AI-generated images and video. It doesn't matter who, and it doesn't have to be real children either. It could even be themselves as a child if they still have the reference or use a de-aging algorithm on their face. It's squicky and disgusting to think about, but it's also inevitable and probably has already happened.And my god, it just keeps going on and on. I can't do this justice, even with 40,000 characters to work with. The future we're about to enter is so wild, so extreme that I almost feel scared for humanity. It's not some far off date in the 22nd century. It's literally going to start happening within the next five years. We're going to see it emerge before our very eyes on this and other subreddits.I'll end this post with some more examples.Nvidia's new AI can turn any primitive sketch into a photorealistic masterpiece. You can even play with this yourself here.Waifu Synthesis- real time generative anime, because obviously.Few-Shot Adversarial Learning of Realistic Neural Talking Head Models | This GAN can animate any face GIF, supercharging deepfakes & media synthesisTalk to Transformer | Feed a prompt into GPT-2 and receive some text. As of 9/29/2019, this uses the 774M parameter version of GPT-2, which is still weaker than the 1.5B parameter "full" version."Text samples generated by Nvidia's Megatron-LM (GPT-2-8.3b). Vastly superior to what you see in Talk to Transformer, even if it had the "full" model.Facebook's AI can convert one singer's voice into another | The team claims that their model was able to learn to convert between singers from just 5-30 minutes of their singing voices, thanks in part to an innovative training scheme and data augmentation technique. as a prototype for shifting vocalists or vocalist genders or anything of that sort.TimbreTron for changing instrumentation in music. Here, you can see a neural network shift entire instruments and pitches of those new instruments. It might only be a couple more years until you could run The Beatles' "Here Comes The Sun" through, say, Slayer and get an actual song out of it.AI generated album covers for when you want to give the result of that change its own album.Neural Color Transfer Between Images [From 2017], showing how we might alter photographs to create entirely different moods and textures.Scammer Successfully Deepfaked CEO's Voice To Fool Underling Into Transferring $243,000"Experts: Spy used AI-generated face to connect with targets" [GAN faces for fake LinkedIn profiles]This Marketing Blog Does Not Exist | This blog written entirely by AI is fully in the uncanny valley.Chinese Gaming Giant NetEase Leverages AI to Create 3D Game Characters from Selfies | This method has already been used over one million times by Chinese gamers."Deep learning based super resolution, without using a GAN" [perceptual loss-based upscaling with transfer learning & progressive scaling], or in other words, "ENHANCE!"Expert: AI-generated music is a "total legal clusterf*ck" | I've thought about this. Future music generation means that all IPs are open, any new music can be created from any old band no matter what those estates may want, and AI-generated music exists in a legal tesseract of answerless questionsAnd there's just a ridiculous amount more.My subreddit, /r/MediaSynthesis, is filled with these sorts of stories going back to January of 2018. I've definitely heard of people come away in shock, dazed and confused, after reading through it. And no wonder.. Title by: Yuli-Ban Posted By: www.eurekaking.com

[btswishes]

The last of her kind.

BTS AU

Part1 / Part2 / Part3 /

A/N: This is the end of this Au guys, it’s super long, I am sorry I didn’t begin the Jungkook werewolf Au today. I just really wanted to finish this one and have time to begin others. I hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes made.Requests are open as always and ships as well.

Word count:  6,756

Warnings: Blood and swearing from time to time.

Wake up…young one…

              Wake up….

                             …child of  Langarda…

 Your body pulled itself up almost immediately, looking around “It’s you.Why are you in this castle?”you whispered to her, knowing that someone might walk by and hear.

   Go out…

          See…

“I don’t understand.”the voice disappeared, yet you did listen to it.

 Fixing your nightgown, you placed a long cap on your back and walked out of the room. It was dark and cold as always, but this time there was no one in the castle corridors. Emptiness was the king of the land around you, but it was too much even for this castle. You took one step out, when a cry came out of your room. Turning around ,you walked back in and found a little girl on your bed. You bent down, with out fear, to look at her.

“Is something wrong?” you touched her hand gently 

“I lost my hair bow.”she said with tears in her eyes

“Do you want me to help you find it?”you suggested and the little girl smiled at you, but when she looked up, you weren’t able to see her face. Yet you knew her from somewhere…

 Grabbing her little hand, you stepped in the cold and long corridor.”We should be very silent, here lives a very scary king.”you said

“Big sis, you don’t sound scared.Why?”the child asked you

“You see, I am not like the king, but I am very strong.He can’t do anything to me.”

“Is he really that scary?How does he look like?”you felt her little hand tremble a bit

 Sighing you continued speaking “King Namjoon has very dark brown hair and eyes, but they glow in a beautiful crimson light when he wishes.”you started describe every part of him, your words getting sweeter and sweeter with every sound

“Big sis, I think you like him.”said the little girl and your heat skipped a beat

“You know, a very close friend of mine told me the same thing.” you smiled a bit to yourself “To be honest…I do, but I am trying to suppress that feeling as much as possible.”

“Why don’t you tell him?” she was pure and couldn’t yet grasp the meaning of things

“Because he is out of my reach.”

“For you it isn’t…”she whispered very silently

“Did you say something?”

“Oh no nothing. Hey big sis look!” she let go of your hand and ran towards the herb garden

 Stopping, you looked around ,shocked at how fast you reached the outside of the castle. The little one seemed to love the garden a lot. You walked up to her.

“You seem to know a lot about these plants.”

“I do.”she turned around to look at you, with a big smile on her face “My mama told me a lot about them. When I grow up I want to become a healer.”she jumped towards a very unique plant “This is my favorite one.”

“That is amazing, but we must hurry up and find your bow.”she came closer and grabbed your hand again. As you were walking through the garden, the child stopped and pointed at a gate. It was a way into the castle, a second one. You had never seen it before, but if she says her bow was there, you had to go.

 Both of you stopped in front of the doors and you pushed slightly. As they opened you ,walked in.

“This way sis.” you didn’t say anything

 Soon the child stopped in front of a door, which was slightly opened and light was flowing out of it.She ran inside, so you followed her.

“Wait!”

 Your breath got stuck in your throat after stepping foot inside.The room was a small library and in the middle of it, in front of the fireplace ,was the king…looking at you.

“How did you get here!”he yelled out and you flinched

 You were about to tell him about the child “I wanted to he-”yet the words stopped in your mouth. Slowly looking down, where the little girl was holding onto your nightgown, you realized…he can’t see her.

 The child placed her hand onto yours, pulling as much of your attention towards her as possible “ He can’t see me big sis.”

“I asked you a question! Answer or I will have to kill you!”he was mad, angry furious and you were a bit scared, because you didn’t know what was happening.Kill was a very strong word, he must not what you here.

“My bow!”said the girl and smiled, running towards the fire place

 The king was waiting for an answer, but your eyes were following the small figure of the child. She reached up and pulled a bow down from the fireplace. Unknowingly your eyes creeped up and up, until you reached a half exposed portrait sitting on the wall, covered a bit by a red curtain.

 Gasping air in your lungs you looked to the side…the bow…her voice…the herb garden…her favorite flower…your eyes snapped back towards the girl. Once she placed the hair accessory on her hair, she looked at you, her face fully visible now. Her lips forming a smile and her eyes were focused on you.

“You…”your hand grabbed some of the material of your gown ,around your chest

“Shhh.”the child lifted her hand, placing her index finger in front of her lips ,which were still smiling

“Answer me woman!”the voice of the king echoed in anger once more

 The child looked up at the portrait and you saw the familiar dress. It was light blue, with short sleeves that had ruffles on them.The necklace that was peeking a bit from under the curtain also had a crest on it, yet you couldn’t see it well.

 The child pulled your attention back and pointed at the jewel necklace. She lifted her finger and drew something in the air. The flames from the fireplace escaped from their cage and created the shape. With a light blow, the crest disappeared. But you knew what it was, how can you not?

 Your hands were trembling and your body was trying to drop to the ground. You shook your head and ran out of the room as fast as you could.

“Wait!”he yelled out

 You felt a strange feeling, something bad that you didn’t like. The king was fast because he wasn’t human, so you had to grab your gown and fly up on the castle roof. From there you ran to your room and closed the windows shut, pulling the curtains and locked the door. Your bed was the safest place for you right now, so you sat there, looking at the closed off window.

“What is wrong…big sis?”your head snapped back fast, turning to see the child again

“It feels strange to be looking at myself.”you said and the child giggled, flying in front of you

“I am you, yet I am not.”

“What do you mean?”you asked her

“I am you, in the sense that I am the child you once were. I am not you, in the sense that I am not grown up.” there couldn’t be something more confusing, yet you some how understood it. The girl said that she isn’t you, because she is your younger version, which no longer exists. At the same time she is you ,because she is something you once were.

“Why are you here?” you asked her

 The child walked over to the only book you had that you couldn’t read, at all. She passed it to you.

“I can’t even open it, what good does it serve me if I can’t read it?”you said looking down at it. The child stepped closer and extended her hand, touching the cover. There was a strong light and then the same crest you saw in that library ,appeared.

“Do you remember this?”she asked you

“The Langarda family crest. How can I forget?”you started remembering your family, a very painful memory

“Good.”she nodded “The book is now open.”

“What!”you checked to see if she was telling the truth and indeed you were able to see the first pages. “This is…a diary.”

“It is. Why don’t see the name written on it?” she turned the page for you and pointed at the bottom

“Y/N…” you looked up at her “This is mine?!” you were shocked

“A lot of years have past, but I never imagined that you would forget the thing you tried to hide from everyone.”she laughed out “I am a fragment of your memory that lives in this diary.”she tapped the book “There are something you must know now, or it will be too late.”

“You sound exactly like that voice I met.”you said

“That is because I told her to stay there. You will know of her soon. For now read that diary, try to remember and collect your lost self.” she bowed to you “If you need me you know how to call.”

“Wait I don’t know…-” you reached out to her, but she disappeared “…how.”

 You sighed and leaned back in your bed, starting to read the diary from the beginning. As a person who knows book, it took you only an hour to reach the middle of the diary.

    Dear diary

  It’s me again. How have you been? You won’t believe what happened to

  me today, but don’t worry I will tell you. Today I went to play with Lyrius, but

  his brother Agis was there too. I have told you about him before, he always

  pulls my hair. I can never play with Lyrius because of him. Anyways that

  is not the most interesting part at all. When Agis took my bow, for the 10th

 time that day, I followed him in the forest. Before I knew it he was gone and I

  ended up in front of some cave thing. So I decided to go in, it was really dark

  and I was scared. Once I reached the end, on a big stone was laying a small

  white animal. It looked hurt so I ran back home and grabbed some medicine.

  Good thing mommy and grandma taught me how to heal people. I ran back

  in there as fast as I could and placed the herbs on it’s wounds.I am now 

  taking care of it.

                          That is all for now.

  You turned the page and saw that the next writing was a couple of days after the one you just read.

     Dear diary

 I am really sorry I haven’t written to you in 4 days, but I was taking care of 

 the little animal.When he woke up ,he growled at me and I couldn’t get close

 to it. Once I looked at it closer I found out it was a tiger, so I knew what to do.

 To be honest I learned how to transform very recently, so it was pretty difficult

 for me, but I did it. I had to use this form of mine to give it food and take care

 of the wounds. It took him sometime,but we became close friends fast. He

 even learned to like my human form a lot. As we were both little, I found out

 soon that tiger cubs had to play, so I did. He did bite me a couple of times 

 thought, but  that is normal. 

 The next page was a very short one.

    Dear diary

 I can’t find Snow anywhere! I searched the cave and even looked around

 the forest. I am worried about him. Mom said we have guests so I have to

 go down stairs now. I will write to you if I find something about Snow.

 So, you gave him the name Snow.The diary ended with this and a few torn pages. Why didn’t you continue writing it? You left the diary on the nightstand and stood up, walking towards the window. You pulled the curtain a bit and saw that the night in this area was still young. After what happened with the king, were you really going to go out in the forest? You were debating a lot, yet there was a place you had to go to.

“What are you waiting for?” you turned around and saw yourself, well the child version

“I can’t leave my room empty.”you said

“Don’t worry about that.” she changed her form very fast and looked exactly like you now “I may be the younger you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change. Now go.”she sat on the bed “I won’t go anywhere.”

 You nodded and opened up the window, jumping off. The other you ran after you.

“Use it, it will be faster. Believe me.”she whispered to you and closed the window

 Your tiger form would indeed be faster. You walked in the forest, once you were sure you were far away from the castle, you transformed. This form was stronger, faster and thanks to the fur ,warmer. Remembering the words in the diary, you first followed the path towards your home and after that you tried to find that place.

 You didn’t know how long it took you, but indeed there was such a place. The plants here were different…somehow. You turned your head as you did in the past and surely enough there it was. The cave, howling from the wind passing through it. You stepped inside and saw the stone you had once found Snow on.

 You looked around in hopes of finding something connected to him. Yet there was nothing there at all. Walking out, you sat in front of the cave and looked around. Suddenly a bunch of memories manifested themselves.  There you were playing with Snow in your tiger form, you were acting like a real cub, just so he didn’t feel alone.Suddenly both of you stopped and you didn’t know what was happening. These were your memories ,but they were blurry. Soon a boy emerged from in between the trees. He looked at you two and pulled out a piece of meat out of his pocket. Snow stepped back and you walked in front of him, to try and protect the baby animal.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”said the boy “Here.”he ate some of it “There is no poison.” he placed the meat in front of you and you looked at it

“I am not an animal.”you said and the boy stepped back ,giving you enough space to transform into your human form 

“Wow, how did you do that?” the boy looked at Snow “Can he do it too?”

“No, only me.”

 Both of you sat on the grass and started eating from what he was carrying with him. Snow was enjoying it a lot and you were enjoying the boys presence. He was really nice to you, even if you didn’t know each other.

“How can you transform like that?”he turned towards you and asked

“It’s something my clan can do.”you said chewing on the meat

“Really?What family are you from?”

“I am the only daughter of the Langarda household and a part of the Zahassa clan.”you said

“You are a Zahassa?That is awesome!Is it true that you know many things from generations ago?”his eyes were shining with excitement

“Yes. Is there something you want to know?”you asked him, patting Snow, who was sitting in your lap

“Let me see…where is the heart?”he asked you

“Everyone knows that.”you reached and placed your hand on his chest “Right here.”

“You really know everything.What does having a heart feel like?”he asked you

“Don’t you know?”you lifted a brow at him ”I mean we all have one.”

“My family doesn’t.”he looked down a bit sad “We kinda have it, but it doesn’t do anything.”

“Well, it makes ‘budum’ sounds when it beats. Here, give me your hand.”you placed his hand onto your chest

“Wow.”

 As you were watching your younger self and that boy, you noticed him blushing and that made you laugh out a bit.They were really cute and pure. Suddenly the boy looked towards the sky.

“I should be going now. My mom is calling for me.” the boy stood up and wings grew on his back, pulling him up in the air, which looked super cool to your younger self

“Wait! “you yelled

“Is something wrong?”he asked you

“Will you come again?”

“Tomorrow.”he smiled “My name is Kim Namjoon.”said the boy and flew off

 Your body stiffened up as you heard the name coming out of the boy’s lips. You forgot why you came here and started running back towards the castle, no tree or animal could stay in your way. You stopped in front of the walls, looking up you thought to yourself.

It’s me, I am back. and the window opened up fast. You jumped in and the moment your legs touch the cold floor ,you were back to normal. She changed back into the child you and stepped off the bed, where you sat down.

“So?Did you find something?”she asked you

“If you are my memories…” you looked at her “…do you know someone called Kim Namjoon?” she started thinking and then her eyes widened

“If I remember correctly, he was a young vampire.Did you see him?”she asked

“Oh yes I did. That boy is the king of this castle.”you told her

“I thought that the names were just a pure coincidence, I didn’t expect that to be really him.” she started walking in circles

“I couldn’t find Snow anywhere, but when I think about it now. Do you really think he will be alive after all these years?”

“He most definitely is.That cub isn’t as normal as you think Y/N.” she looked towards the door “Morning has arrived here, the maid will come soon. I will see you tonight.”before she disappeared she placed her hand onto your shoulder “I might just be your memories, but I have a very bad feeling. Keep that in mind and be careful today.”you nodded and she disappeared, soon enough there was a knock on the door and Pia entered.

“My lady ,we have guests today.” she bowed and closed the door behind herself. Someone came to this place? Was he human?

 She helped you get dressed and ready, but you didn’t talk to her at all, which Pia found strange. You stood up from the chair and placed the diary back in your bag.

“My lady, is something wrong?” you turned towards her

“I just feel a bit sick, nothing more.”

“I see.”

 The door opened up and two men were standing there looking at you. Escorts you thought to yourself.

“I presume you are counts.”

“Yes.”said the one with almost blonde hair “My name is count Jimin.”

“And I am count Taehyung.”he also had dark hair, like most people around this place

 They showed you the way to the hall, even if you knew it. As you were walking you noticed that there weren’t a lot of maids or butlers here. Only the 6 counts, from which you knew 4.

 The gates of the dining hall opened up and you walked in, bowing to the guests. There were two men, one obviously old and the second, young and beautiful.

“Good day Your Highness.” you said, but didn’t look at him knowing what happened yesterday night. You sat down and your eyes met those of the boy in front of you. He suddenly stood up.

“Do we by chance know each other?”you asked

“I-I must have made a mistake.”he looked in the other direction and sat back down

“So what brings you here?”asked the king

“Your Highness, we have heard a lot about these lands. We ourselves used to live here.” said the old man, yet there was something in him you didn’t like at all “We are in search of something.”

“And what is that?” the king asked them again

“You see, I am old and very sick. They say a very knowledgeable clan used to live here.If I can find someone of them they may help me.”

“I am sorry to tell you this, but they are gone. “

“Your Highness, for how long?” asked the noble looking man

“For centuries now.” he said

 You were looking at your food, not interested in it, when something caught your attention. Count Jimin walked closer to you.

“Is something wrong my lady?”he asked you

“I just…”you hesitantly looked around “I sensed the faint smell of a night lotus.”

“Oh dear, that might be me darling.”said the old man and pulled out a bottle with black liquid in it “This is my medicine ,you see.Are you a healer?”

“Ah, yes I am.” you said

“Y/N is very skilled.”said the king

“Could you by chance help me? If you can.”he smiled

“I will try, but I don’t guarantee.”you said

 The whole time you were on the table, the old man and his son didn’t stop looking at you. Even if they thought you could see them. There was something sinister in the father, he wanted something more, something different than health. You didn’t know what it was, but you weren’t going to give it to him.

 After everyone finished eating you stood up, going to the kings office where guests were able to talk.You sat on the couch and the father and son in front of you, with the king on his big chair next to his desk, from where he could look at everyone.You pulled out some stuff from your bag and started preparing.

“You don’t seem to eat much dear.”said the old man

“I am not feeling very well today, that is all.”you said looking through your bag

“You should go to bed.”it was the second time his son said anything to you

“Maybe later.”you cut him off and walked over to the old man ,looking at him. You were allowed to draw some blood and look at it.

“Strange…” you moved around the liquid

“Is something wrong?”asked the man

“From just this amount, I can tell that you have consumed quite a bit of that medicine.”

“How do you know that?”he asked you, his voice changing

“Well that particular lotus, leaves a special tint in the blood, but…” you stopped and frowned a bit ,as you continued to look at it “The mount you have in here is too much.”

“I am very sick dear, so I drink a lot of it.”he laughed out

“No…For so much of it to accumulate in your blood…two lives are need of only drinking this and nothing more….I think even two is too little.” you placed the container on the table and sat back in your seat “Strange…”

“Maybe it is concentrated.”suggested the king

“If it was.”you looked at the man “First, he wouldn’t be alive and second black patches of color should have appeared onto his skin.” you shot down the suggestion in seconds, something was troubling you about all of this “I can see why you are searching for the Zahassa clan, this indeed is very serious.”

“If only I knew they were no more.”said the old man sighing

“I don’t think that even if they were ,they could have helped.” you said

“You see one of my ancestors knew them personally. He left me this.”the old man pulled out of his bag a little bottle with blue liquid.The moment the object came out of the bag ,a strong burning smell came into your nose. You grabbed your face pulling yourself away.

“Is something wrong?”he asked

“What is that? It is such a strong smell?!”

“What do you mean?”he opened it up and in seconds everything turned black

 Opening your eyes you found yourself in bed with Pia next to you. She was changing a compress which you had onto your head.

“Pia…”

“My lady.”she jumped

“W-what happened?”you asked her

“You fainted, so I told everyone that you weren’t feeling well since this morning. Now you are here.”she smiled and you soon remembered everything “I will be right back.”she stood up and went to bring you colder water.

“It is the bottle.”you stood up fast and saw the child, or you

“What was that thing?”you asked her

“It’s made from a very old tree that grows on Zahassa clan territory. It is something that was used to hunt us down in the past.”

 Ah yes, the good old days. When people found out about your clan’s abilities, everyone wanted have that knowledge. When the Zahassa turned down every offer of work, the nobles started hunting you down. But you were smart people, it wasn’t that easy. Your clan were searching for the secret of mortality ,so that they can fight the nobles and save their people. Guess it didn’t work out well for both, except for you, the rare one and only survivor.

“Could it be?”you started thinking

“Yes, that man wants to do the same, yet I don’t know what that liquid he has is used for.”she walked over to the window “Listen well Y/N, I will have to go to the ruins of your home to try and find the tree. You must stay still till I come back. I don’t know what these men are planing, but I have a bad feeling about it.”just like that she disappeared

 You were in bed looking at it, when something inside you started burning up. An unbelievable feeling, something that was starting to hurt. You sat up immediately holding your chest tight. The burning sensation concentrated itself in your hand, once you looked you noticed it had turned to a paw. You knew it had to be from that strange liquid ,the feelings you were having were the same as the once you felt once you smelled it. There was a knock on the door.

“No! Don’t come in!”you yelled out

“My lady are you ok?”it was Pia

“Stay there!” you yelled out again

“My lady you don’t sound well. Let me help!”he was jumping around in the corridor

“NO!”

“I am truly sorry my lady, but I am coming in.”the moment she stepped foot in the room, Pia dropped the water to the ground and screamed.

“Is something wrong?!”it was count Taehyung

“I just saw a spider, sorry.”she closed the door in the counts face “Don’t come in, I will be changing my lady’s clothes.”

 Once the count was gone, Pia started taking slow steps towards you, her body trembling. “M-my lady?”she asked

“Don’t worry I won’t hurt you.” she noticed the pain on your face and ran towards you

“My lady are ok?!”she panicked

“Relax I am alright. I just need you to step back.”

 Pia did as you said and you jumped off the bed, transforming completely. Your body couldn’t take it anymore and collapsed. Once you regained consciousness, you felt someone brushing your fur. Looking up you saw Pia.

“Child, what are you doing?”

“Oh you are awake my lady. I was supposed to brush you hair…but I couldn’t find it, so I started brushing everything.”she smiled

 You stood up “It’s ok. Go and sit on the bed, it’s cold on the ground.”

“What about you my lady?”she did as you asked of her

“Don’t worry about me, I have fur.”

 You told her everything and Pia listened closely “I see, so that is why my lady knew about me.” she looked at you and jumped on the floor again “I need to tell you something my lady.”she whispered in your ear “I overheard the guests talking from the pond in the garden. They are in search of you to make them some kind of immortality potion.”

“So that is why he hand so much of that substance in his blood.Someone of my family must have given it to him. Damn it.”you growled in anger

“Shhh my lady. You are very loud.”

 You remembered that in tiger form you didn’t sound like a human when you didn’t talk. Pia stood up.

“I must go now my lady, but you stay here. I will make sure that no one comes in.”

 You did as she said, there was nothing more to do anyways. You were sitting there, waiting for yourself to come back from the house. You remembered the diary and walked over to your bag. Good thing you could use magic, or these paws weren’t going to be of help to you.As you were reading the part with Snow again, it was almost like you could hear him.

“I must miss you a lot.”but then you looked towards the window “It can’t be…” using magic you opened it and jumped out on the castle’s roof. Looking around soon you noticed a white dot. You ran towards it and jumped in the garden.

“Snow…”you looked at it, another tiger , this one was with blue eyes which meant it wasn’t of your clan “Snow!”you ran towards it, but he didn’t look happy as you came closer you noticed that he looked like he was trying to tell you something.

 Before you knew it something was dropped onto your body, but you cut it to pieces.

“Damn it, she is stronger than I expected.”

 It was him!The old man. You turned in your human form, finally and looked at them.

“Who do you think you are?”you yelled out

“I am really sorry about this Y/N, I really am.”said the boy looking at the ground

“I am not!”laughed out the old man “I knew you weren’t human, I just knew it!”

“Well you yourself aren’t.”you hissed at him

“It seems you know.” the old geezer looked at you

“Who are you people?!”you asked them

“It has been a long time Y/N.”the boy stepped in front of his father

“I don’t know…you…no…”you stepped back ,pointing at him”…Lyrius…but where is your brother?”

“Agis isn’t my brother.He knew who I was ,that is why he kept you away from me, by teasing you.”

“Y/N, run!” she was back ,your past self

“No this can’t be…”

“It can and now it’s time for you to come with us.”The old man pulled out the bottle again, your head started to spin “Ah!”he yelled out “LYRIUS GET IT!” you came back to your senses and saw Snow on top of the old man.

“Now Y/N run.”she said

 Snow looked at you, in his eyes you knew that he wanted that too. He did this for you. Before you knew it you were running in the forest towards your old home, as fast as you could, tears falling down your cheeks.

  I see you are back…

 It was the woman’s voice again “You can cut it out now Leda. They are after us.”said your past memories

  They found her so fast?

The voice change, from silent and almost a whisper it turned in to a normal one, that of a woman. A woman you might know.

 Hurry, the doors should be still opened.

 She said as you were running, you jumped off the cliff and landed, not waiting to recover you stepped in the house. Once in, the trees and plants covered the door.

“What now? They will differently come here!”you said

“Don’t worry they won’t be able to come here very fast.”

 Yes she is right, until then we must think of something.

“But what?I am very strong, if I wanted I could tear them to pieces, but that liquid. That is the problem.”you said

 What liquid?

“They had something that had the smell of a night lotus.”you explained

  How did they get their hands on that?

“Do you know it?”you asked

“Tell her. It’s time for her to know, now that we are in this situation.” she told the woman named Leda

“Tell me what?”you asked

  That poison is very rare, you are reacting to it as well because you have drunk it before. Humans call it poison, but our clan know it as the potion of immortality.

“What!” you gasped

 You might think it is poison thought, I understand you but in reality it gives you what you want, if your body can take it.When we were little, the clan elders gave a bit of it to all of us. You on the other hand drank all of it, we were little back then and you didn’t know what it was. I am not sure if it is because of the amount you had, but only you were able to survive the side effects.

“What are the side effects?”you asked

 Sleep.

“Sleep?!” 

 Yes, only those who weren’t afraid and drank every drop of it were able to become immortal. Everyone else fell in a death like slumber. 

“You mean to tell me that…everyone is alive? Even after all this time?”you were shocked

 Yes that is what I am trying to tell you. Y/N we are all here, under the house…somewhere.

“I will go and check for the hunters.”said the child you and left

“Leda…”

  Yes

“Did know a boy named Lyrisu?”you asked her

 Don’t speak of that traitor in my presence.

“So you know him.”

  He was never a part of us, he sold our clan to his real father ,even Agis. The one who acted like his brother, the one who loved him no matter what.

 So Agis was never bad, he never wanted to hurt you. He knew everything and wanted to protect his family, his clan…his friends.

 You know, Agis loved you, but because of him protecting you in his way. You found someone else. That vampire boy named Namjoon. I still remember it like it was yesterday. When the hunters came and we all were gone. You were left alone, that boy came and saved you, yet somehow you got separated.

“King Namjoon saved…me?”you asked

  Yes, he kept you safe, until one day. But I don’t know what happened him. My soul is locked up where my body is. Do you know how difficult it was for me to call you from the castle.

“They are here!” the girl flew in “You have to go and hide

“Is Snow with them?Is he ok?”you asked as you were being pushed towards the stairs and your old room

“He is with them, but is a bit wounded.”

 Your heart felt like it was being crushed after you heard that. Walking in your old room, you hid under the bed or what was left of it. The men’s foot steps were coming closer, it seems Lyrius told his father where you lived. As you were making yourself comfortable, your hand pushed a bunch of papers. You picked them up and realized that those were the lost pages of your diary. Since you were here and had to were to go, you decided to read them.

 It was about Namjoon, all the fun times you had with him, every feeling you had for him. Even if you were little you knew back then.

“Are you sure she is in her room?”

 You gasp after hearing the old man. “I am father, there is no other place she wound go to.” the old man laughed out and you were holding your breath as much as you could.

“Well then let’s search.”

 They checked the closet and behind the door. It was a matter of minutes before they found you. Yet you were thinking ,even in a moment like this one. Why did Lyrius do this, to you, to his brother?

 You weren’t afraid of them, you were stronger, you weren’t going to hide anymore. Before you could try and get out they found you, pulling your body out of the bed. You were able to kick the old man and ran to the window.

“There you were.”he grinned in a devilish way

“Lyrius why? Why did you do this to me, to your brother? He loved you.”

“He wasn’t my real brother.”the way he said it, disgusted you

“I thought you were the normal one. I liked you a lot and this is how you pay us back for all the help?We cured you from all your sicknesses, we saved you that day when your so called father left you to die.” he looked at his dad

“You know I did it for your own good son.” he smiled at him “Now go and get the girl!”he pointed at you

“No!” he yelled “Y/N is right, why did you leave me back then? What part of it was for my own good?”

“Shit!” his father pushed him and opened the bottle.The smell was very strong and your body started going limb.

“Nam…joon…”you said sliding down the wall

 A sudden gust of wind blew the smell away and you felt someone pick you up from the cold ground. Looking up you saw him.

“You called daughter of Langarda?” he said

“How did you find me?”you asked him, slowly pulling yourself together

“Pia told me everything, it seemed that she came in to check on you ,but you weren’t there. Then she saw that our guests weren’t in their rooms. “ Namjoon looked at the two men in front of himself “So it was you! You did this to her!”he sounded really mad

“If it isn’t the king.”the old man looked at his wings “What are you?You are not human like us.”

“I am the vampire king, Namjoon. Don’t flatter yourself you aren’t human as well.”

 The old man laughed out again “You think you have won, but you haven’t. Even if you kill me I will take her with me.”

“I won’t let you do that.”he said

 The geezer threw the bottle at you, but Namjoon covered you with his wing. Yet the smell was very strong, your body couldn’t take it and you fell to the ground.

“You can try and save her, or try and kill me!”the old man ran out of the house and his son followed him, trying to catch his father. Namjoon ignored them and looked at you. You couldn’t breath from the smell coming from the liquid.He was panicking, not knowing what to do.Picking your body up ,Namjoon ran out of the house just to find the old man trembling on the ground.

“You!”he yelled and walked closer, before looking up

 Everything around you was colored in a yellow and black color. The sun didn’t reach this land, but this wasn’t the sun.

 You will pay for this Gardit.            You will die.

    You don’t deserve immortality.                               Come here.

           You must pay.                 We will get you.

                    Revenge will be ours.

The land around you, as far as your eyes could see was covered with majestic tigers. They came closer and pulled the old man by his leg, soon his body and screams disappeared and everything became silent.

Once you opened your eyes, you saw each and every one of them, looking down at you. You jumped up and saw all of those familiar faces.

“Mom dad!”you jumped on them and they smiled at you “But how?”

“Thanks to you ,we were able to wake up and that boy over there found our bodies.”they pointed at Namjoon

“Get up already!”someone pulled you off the ground

“Agis!”you yelled out and jumped on him too, before someone tapped your shoulder

“I think you should let go brother, before he kills you.”it was Lyrius, it seems he finly realized what his father had been doing

“You awake?”turning around you saw a very familiar female face, which was smiling at you

“Leda! I remember.”you said hugging her as well

“You better, I am your BFF after all.”she pouted and turned you around, pushing you towards Namjoon

“H-hey.”you said

“Hey. So are you feeling better?”he asked you

“Mhm.”you nodded, both of you were now looking at each other. Before you knew it ,Snow pushed you with his snout and you fell in Namjoon’s arms. He looked down at you and you panicked “I am so sorry, I don’t know why he did this. Snow is normally very n-”he cut you off with a kiss”…nice” you finished the word after he pulled away

“I know Y/N, I know everything.”he said kissing you again

“WOOOOHOOOO!”

 Everyone was yelling out together.”So…”he looked at you “I like you.”he said, cupping his cheeks ,you kissed him as well “I like you too, since I was this small.”

“Why do you think I came to play with you so often?”he asked smiling

 Come to think of it this was the fist time he had ever smiled at you. Before you knew it your lips were together again, this time everyone was yelling. “GET A ROOM YOU TWO.” even Leda was yelling, but you didn’t want to let go of him, never again.

 Happy ever after exists in everyone’s life. Sometimes you just have to wait for it a bit longer than expected, but in the end it is sweeter, like a kiss.😉

[we-future-first]

The Coming Age of Imaginative Machines: If you aren't following the rise of synthetic media, the 2020s will hit you like a digital blitzkrieg

The faces on the left were created by a GAN in 2014; on the right are ones made in 2018.

Ian Goodfellow and his colleagues gave the world generative adversarial networks (GANs) five years ago, way back in 2014. They did so with fuzzy and ethereal black & white images of human faces, all generated by computers. This wasn't the start of synthetic media by far, but it did supercharge the field. Ever since, the realm of neural network-powered AI creativity has repeatedly kissed mainstream attention. Yet synthetic media is still largely unknown. Certain memetic-boosted applications such as deepfakes and This Person Does Not Exist notwithstanding, it's safe to assume the average person is unaware that contemporary artificial intelligence is capable of some fleeting level of "imagination."

Media synthesis is an inevitable development in our progress towards artificial general intelligence, the first and truest sign of symbolic understanding in machines (though by far not the thing itself--- rather the organization of proteins and sugars to create the rudimentary structure of what will someday become the cells of AGI). This is due to the rise of artificial neural networks (ANNs). Popular misconceptions presume synthetic media present no new developments we've not had since the 1990s, yet what separates media synthesis from mere manipulation, retouching, and scripts is the modicum of intelligence required to accomplish these tasks. The difference between Photoshop and neural network-based deepfakes is the equivalent to the difference between building a house with power tools and employing a utility robot to use those power tools to build the house for you.

Succinctly, media synthesis is the first tangible sign of automation that most people will experience.

Public perception of synthetic media shall steadily grow and likely degenerate into a nadir of acceptance as more people become aware of the power of these artificial neural networks without being offered realistic debate or solutions as to how to deal with them. They've simply come too quickly for us to prepare for, hence the seemingly hasty reaction of certain groups like OpenAI in regards to releasing new AI models.

Already, we see frightened reactions to the likes of DeepNudes, an app which was made solely to strip women in images down to their bare bodies without their consent. The potential for abuse (especially for pedophilic purposes) is self-evident. We are plunging headlong into a new era so quickly that we are unaware of just what we are getting ourselves into. But just what are we getting into?

Well, I have some thoughts.

I want to start with the field most people are at least somewhat aware of: deepfakes. We all have an idea of what deepfakes can do: the "purest" definition is taking one's face replacing it with another, presumably in a video. The less exact definition is to take some aspect of a person in a video and edit it to be different. There's even deepfakes for audio, such as changing one's voice or putting words in their mouth. Most famously, this was done to Joe Rogan.

I, like most others, first discovered deepfakes in late 2017 around the time I had an "epiphany" on media synthesis as a whole. Just in those two years, the entire field has seen extraordinary progress. I realized then that we were on the cusp of an extreme flourishing of art, except that art would be largely-to-almost entirely machine generated. But along with it would come a flourishing of distrust, fake news, fake reality bubbles, and "ultracultural memes". Ever since, I've felt the need to evangelize media synthesis, whether to tell others of a coming renaissance or to warn them to be wary of what they see.

This is because, over the past two years, I realized that many people's idea of what media synthesis is really stops at deepfakes, or they only view new development through the lens of deepfakes. The reason why I came up with "media" synthesis is because I genuinely couldn't pin down any one creative/data-based field AI wasn't going to affect. It wasn't just faces. It wasn't just bodies. It wasn't just voice. It wasn't just pictures of ethereal swirling dogs. It wasn't just transferring day to night. It wasn't just turning a piano into a harpsichord. It wasn't just generating short stories and fake news. It wasn't just procedurally generated gameplay. It was all of the above and much more. And it's coming so fast that I fear we aren't prepared, both for the tech and the consequences.

Indeed, in many discussions I've seen (and engaged in) since then, there's always several people who have a virulent reaction against the prospect neural networks can do any of this at all, or at least that it'll get better enough to the point it will affect artists, creators, and laborers. Even though we're already seeing the effects in the modeling industry alone.

Look at this gif. Looks like a bunch of models bleeding into and out of each other, right? Actually, no one here is real. They're all neural network-generated people.

Neural networks can generate full human figures, and altering their appearance and clothing is a matter of changing a few parameters or feeding an image into the data set. Changing the clothes of someone in a picture is as easy as clicking on the piece you wish you change and swapping it with any of your choice (or result in the personal wearing no clothes at all). A similar scenario applies for make-up. This is not like an old online dress-up flash game where the models must be meticulously crafted by an art designer or programmer— simply give the ANN something to work with, and it will figure out all the rest. You needn't even show it every angle or every lighting condition, for it will use commonsense to figure these out as well. Such has been possible since at least 2017, though only with recent GPU advancements has it become possible for someone to run such programs in real time.

The unfortunate side effect is that the amateur modeling industry will be vaporized. Extremely little will be left, and the few who do remain are promoted entirely because they are fleshy & real human beings. Professional models will survive for longer, but there will be little new blood joining their ranks. As such, it remains to be seen whether news and blogs speak loudly of the sudden, unexpected automation of what was once seen as a safe and human-centric industry or if this goes ignored and under-reported— after all, the news used to speak of automation in terms of physical, humanoid robots taking the jobs of factory workers, fast-food burger flippers, and truck drivers, occupations that are still in existence en masse due to slower-than-expected roll outs of robotics and a continued lack of general AI.

We needn't have general AI to replace those jobs that can be replicated by disembodied digital agents. And the sudden decline & disappearance of models will be the first widespread sign of this.

Actually, I have an hypothesis for this: media synthesis is one of the first signs that we're making progress towards artificial general intelligence.

Now don't misunderstand me. No neural network that can generate media is AGI or anything close. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that what we can see as being media synthesis is evidence that we've put ourselves on the right track. We never should've thought that we could get to AGI without also developing synthetic media technology.

What do you know about imagination?

As recently as five years ago, the concept of "creative machines" was cast off as impossible— or at the very least, improbable for decades. Indeed, the phrase remains an oxymoron in the minds of most. Perhaps they are right. Creativity implies agency and desire to create. All machines today lack their own agency. Yet we bear witness to the rise of computer programs that imagine and "dream" in ways not dissimilar to humankind.

Though lacking agency, this still meets the definition of imagination.

To reduce it to its most fundamental ingredients: Imagination = experience + abstraction + prediction. To get creativity, you need only add "drive". Presuming that we fail to create artificial general intelligence in the next ten years (an easy thing to assume because it's unlikely we will achieve fully generalized AI even in the next thirty), we still possess computers capable of the former three ingredients.

Someone who lives on a flat island and who has never seen a mountain before can learn to picture what one might be by using what they know of rocks and cumulonimbus clouds, making an abstract guess to cross the two, and then predicting what such a "rock cloud" might look like. This is the root of imagination.

As Descartes noted, even the strongest of imagined sensations is duller than the dullest physical one, so this image in the person's head is only clear to them in a fleeting way. Nevertheless, it's still there. Through great artistic skills, the person can learn to express this mental image through artistic means. In all but the most skilled, it will not be a pure 1-to-1 realization due to the fuzziness of our minds, but in the case of expressive art, it doesn't need to be.

Computers lack this fleeting ethereality of imagination completely. Once one creates something, it can give you the uncorrupted output.

Right now, this makes for wonderful tools and apps that many play around with online and on our phones.

But extrapolating this to the near future results in us coming face to face many heavy questions, and not just of the "can't trust what you see variety."

Because think about it.

If I'm a musical artist and I release an album, what if I accidentally recorded a song that's too close to an AI-generated track (all because AI generated literally every combination of notes?) Or, conversely, what if I have to watch as people take my music and alter it? I may feel strongly about it, but yet the music has its notes changed, its lyrics changed, my own voice changed, until it might as well be an entirely different artist making that music. Many won't mind, but many will.

I trust my mother's voice, as many do. So imagine a phisher managing to steal her voice, running it through a speech synthesis network, and then calling me asking me for my social security number. Or maybe I work at a big corporation, and while we're secure, we still recognize each other's voice, only to learn that someone stole millions of dollars from us because they stole the CEO's voice and used to to wire cash to a pirate's account.

Imagine going online and at least 70% of the "people" you encounter are bots. They're extremely coherent, and they have profile images of what looks to be real people. And who knows, you may even forge an e-friendship with some of them because they seem to share your interests. Then it turns out they're just bundles of code.

Oh, and those bot-people are also infesting social media and forums in the millions, creating and destroying trends and memes without much human input. Even if the mainstream news sites don't latch on at first, bot-created and bot-run news sites will happily kick it off for them. The news is supposed to report on major events, global and local. Even if the news is honest and telling the truth, how can they truly verify something like this, especially when it seems to be gaining so much traction and humans inevitably do get involved? Remember "Bowsette" from last year? Imagine if that was actually pushed entirely by bots until humans saw what looked like a happenin' kind of meme and joined in? That could be every year or perhaps even every month in the 2020s onwards.

Likewise, imagine you're listening to a pop song in one country, but then you go to another country and it's the exact same song but most of the lyrics have changed to be more suitable for their culture. That sort of cultural spread could stop... or it could be supercharged if audiences don't take to it and pirate songs/change them and share them at their own leisure.

Or maybe it's a good time to mention how commissioned artists are screwed? Commission work boards are already a race to the bottom— if a job says it pays three cents per word to write an article, you'd better list your going rate as 2 cents per word, and then inevitably the asking rate in general becomes 2 cents per word, and so on and so forth. That whole business might be over within five to ten years if you aren't already extremely established. Because if machines can mimic any art style or writing style (and then exaggerate & alter it to find some better version people like more), you'd have to really be tech-illiterate or very pro-human to want non-machine commissions.

And to go back to deepfakes and deep nudes, imagine the paratypical creep who takes children and puts them into sexual situations, any sexual situation they desire thanks to AI-generated images and video. It doesn't matter who, and it doesn't have to be real children either. It could even be themselves as a child if they still have the reference or use a de-aging algorithm on their face. It's squicky and disgusting to think about, but it's also inevitable and probably has already happened.

And my god, it just keeps going on and on. I can't do this justice, even with 40,000 characters to work with. The future we're about to enter is so wild, so extreme that I almost feel scared for humanity. It's not some far off date in the 22nd century. It's literally going to start happening within the next five years. We're going to see it emerge before our very eyes on this and other subreddits.

I'll end this post with some more examples.

Nvidia's new AI can turn any primitive sketch into a photorealistic masterpiece. You can even play with this yourself here.

Waifu Synthesis- real time generative anime, because obviously.

Few-Shot Adversarial Learning of Realistic Neural Talking Head Models | This GAN can animate any face GIF, supercharging deepfakes & media synthesis

Talk to Transformer | Feed a prompt into GPT-2 and receive some text. As of 9/29/2019, this uses the 774M parameter version of GPT-2, which is still weaker than the 1.5B parameter "full" version."

Text samples generated by Nvidia's Megatron-LM (GPT-2-8.3b). Vastly superior to what you see in Talk to Transformer, even if it had the "full" model.

Facebook's AI can convert one singer's voice into another | The team claims that their model was able to learn to convert between singers from just 5-30 minutes of their singing voices, thanks in part to an innovative training scheme and data augmentation technique. as a prototype for shifting vocalists or vocalist genders or anything of that sort.

TimbreTron for changing instrumentation in music. Here, you can see a neural network shift entire instruments and pitches of those new instruments. It might only be a couple more years until you could run The Beatles' "Here Comes The Sun" through, say, Slayer and get an actual song out of it.

AI generated album covers for when you want to give the result of that change its own album.

Neural Color Transfer Between Images [From 2017], showing how we might alter photographs to create entirely different moods and textures.

Scammer Successfully Deepfaked CEO's Voice To Fool Underling Into Transferring $243,000

"Experts: Spy used AI-generated face to connect with targets" [GAN faces for fake LinkedIn profiles]

This Marketing Blog Does Not Exist | This blog written entirely by AI is fully in the uncanny valley.

Chinese Gaming Giant NetEase Leverages AI to Create 3D Game Characters from Selfies | This method has already been used over one million times by Chinese gamers.

"Deep learning based super resolution, without using a GAN" [perceptual loss-based upscaling with transfer learning & progressive scaling], or in other words, "ENHANCE!"

Expert: AI-generated music is a "total legal clusterf*ck" | I've thought about this. Future music generation means that all IPs are open, any new music can be created from any old band no matter what those estates may want, and AI-generated music exists in a legal tesseract of answerless questions

And there's just a ridiculous amount more.

My subreddit, /r/MediaSynthesis, is filled with these sorts of stories going back to January of 2018. I've definitely heard of people come away in shock, dazed and confused, after reading through it. And no wonder.

submitted by /u/Yuli-Ban [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/daxcpx/the_coming_age_of_imaginative_machines_if_you/

[nathandgibsca]

Artificial Intelligence: Implications On Marketing, Analytics, And You

A rare post today. It looks a little further out into the future than I normally tend to. It attempts to simplify a topic that has more than it’s share of coolness, confusion and complexity.

While the phrase Artificial Intelligence has been around since the first human wondered if she could go further if she had access to entities with inorganic intelligence, it truly jumped the shark in 2016. Primarily because we got our first real everyday access to products and services that used some form of AI to delight us. No more theory, we felt it!

I’m going to take a very long walk with you today. This topic has consumed a lot of my thinking over the last year (you’ll see the exact start date below). It’s implications are far and wide, even in the narrow scope that I live in (marketing, analytics, influence). I have so much to tell you, stuff I’m scared about, and so much I’m excited about.

Here are the elements I’ll cover:

+ AI | Now | Local Maxima. + AI | Now | Global Maxima. + What the heck is Artificial Intelligence? + Machine Learning | Marketing. + Machine Learning | Analytics. + Artificial Intelligence | Future | Kids. + Artificial Intelligence | Worry about Humanity.

Through it all, my goal is to make the topic accessible, get you to understand some of the key terms, their implication on our work, our jobs, and in a bonus implications on the future we are responsible for (your kids and mine).

Let’s go!

AI | Now | Local Maxima.

AI also seems so out there, so hard to grasp. Let me fix that for you.

Here’s a really simple example, easily accessible. Google Photos.

Humans took 2.5 trillion pictures in 2016. As you are trying to find that one special picture, it feels like all 2.5 trillion are on your phone! A real problem for all of us. Google Photos uses AI to solve this problem.

For example, I want pictures of Sushi… I simply type in Sushi… Boom!

Clearly I’m not your classic I love my food so much I must Instagram every meal person. :)

Notice nothing is categorized or tagged in the pictures above. Google Photos has to be able to recognize the content all on it’s own.

It is actually smarter than what you see above. When I type in the name of my son and Sushi, I get just one photo back! If I type in his name and the word beach, I get pictures of him on a beach… throughout his entire life! Photos can keep track of him from baby to today.

Cool, right? AI.

On your phone, try to search for people in your lives by name, by faces, combine their name with events/things/locations and you’ll be surprised at what the AI returns.

One more.

In trying to see how smart Google Photos really is, I wanted to try something harder… I typed in the query pain (French for bread)… and I got this…

This really delighted me.

On top is a Hong Kong Pineapple Bun, in the middle is an Indian Chapatti, and at the bottom is my wife’s Italian focaccia bread infused with our home grow rosemary. All, breads.

Think of how insanely cool it is that Google Photos can translate pain into bread and find all different kinds of breads that our family enjoys. From tens of thousands of photos in my album. Instantly.

(We’ll touch on this topic later but…) These are moments when I really worry that my job will soon become irrelevant. I mean, just imagine how hard it is to do what you see above, and everything I do is actually so much easier!

AI | Now | Global Maxima.

On that topic… My first true moment of worry about my professional future came in March 2016 when AlphaGo beat Lee Sedol, the unassailable Go grandmaster. It was believed, due to the immense complexity of the game of Go, that computers were at least a decade away from beating humans. The potential legal board positions in Go are greater than the number of atoms in the universe. AlphaGo not only had to compute all the possible positions to play, but to pick the best one it also had to have some kind of intuition and strategic thinking – a challenge beyond raw compute power.

The specific scary moment was on 11th of March. The kids and I were watching the livestream of game two from Seoul on our TV. During the game AlphaGo made its now famous Move  37. We were so confused. The expert commentators on TV thought it was a mistake. It is worth watching the minute of so of the video on YouTube.

It’s the black piece being moved next to the white one almost exactly in the middle of the board, to your right.

The game continued for another three hours, but it was over at move 37. Only AlphaGo knew that, it took a while for humans to come to that realization. It was, in the letter and spirit of the word, inconceivable by humans.

See, why it freaked me out that I might not have a career? Why do we need all these white collared jobs populated by people who will always be slower, more inefficient, and vastly less smart? Even a narrowly specialized AI entity in the short-term can replace their value in a professional environment. As we make progress towards Artificial General Intelligence (AGI), that entity will do 50 more than in addition to your one thing.

It is important that I share that being scared or freaked out can co-exist with excitement. You know the quote about the importance of being able to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time.

I am excited about AI, and perhaps beyond excited about AGI as it promises the scaled application of intelligence that will truly change the world in ways we can’t even begin to imagine. Consider Move 37. Maybe there is a Move 37 to solve Global Warming, and we simply can’t conceive of it. Maybe there is a Move 37 for fusion. Or perpetual motion. Or… Love. And, there has to be a Move 37 for politics. Consider how incredible it will be that we’ll have AGI around to solve these impossible problems.

I am also excited because I believe that, at least as far out as I can see, the human brain and the human heart will be valued – we will identify new things to value, it just won’t be Digital Marketing Evangelist. Perhaps you now see why I’ve pivoted my career to Storytelling with data over the last couple of years. :)

I realize there are people throwing up red flags, warning us. They are smarter and vastly more knowledgeable on this subject than I could ever hope to be. We should listen to them carefully. I’ve watched at least 30 hours of lectures on YouTube on this topic.

My personal reaction to AI emanates from three things:

1. There really is no turning back. Humans push forward.

2. It is impossible to imagine what 2057 will look like. Our current red flags are sourced from what human means today, what works means today, what our relationship with technology means today. None of this might be relevant by then (even less relevant by 2100).

3. Between 2057 and now, I humbly believe that AI will function to extend our own intelligence, fill our gaps, and will find solutions inconceivable to humans to intractable problems (see above)

My personal strategy: Understand reality. Invest in continuous learning. Adapt. Add new/different value. Rinse and repeat. 

The most conservative estimate is that AI driven changes are expected to replace 25% of jobs across the world, by 2026. My goal: Stay ahead by solving new challenges.

If you’ve thought about it, please share yours in comments below.

Now that we have the basics out of the way, let’s really understand what this thing is.

What the heck is Artificial Intelligence?

People tend to use these phrases almost interchangeably: Artificial Intelligence (AI), Machine Learning (ML) and Deep Learning.

It does not help that there is genuine ambiguity about each of them as we are still in the early evolutionary stages.

Let me share a simple definition that helps me understand each phrase.

AI is an intelligent machine.

ML is the ability to learn without being explicitly programmed. Currently, ML is the most exciting application of AI.

Deep Learning is a specific ML technique.

Most Deep Learning methods involve artificial neural networks, modeling how our bran works. At the moment Deep Learning forms the basis for most of the incredible advances in Machine Learning (and in turn AI).

A pinch more about Deep Learning as it plays such a critical role in all the current AI excitement.

There are some who believe that anything modeled on the human brain, like Deep Learning, will be limited in it’s intelligence, that it will inherit the limits and flaws that our intelligence possesses. This will then cap what an AI might be capable of. An additional problem to worry about with Deep Learning is that we might not have massive training datasets for every problem we want to solve (mandatory for Deep Learning).

Hence, while Deep Learning is rightly getting lots of focus and affection at the moment, I’m excited that some outliers, :), are investigating other techniques. One of my favorite alternatives is Counterfactual Regret Minimization.

In summary: Deep Learning is a specific Machine Learning technique which currently powers the most exciting applications of Artificial Intelligence.

Now you know how to use each phrase correctly. :)

Machine Learning | Marketing.

I use the phrase AI sparingly, preferring Machine Learning instead since it is the primary technique that is powering the changes you see in our context.

You are seeing many applications of Machine Learning being applied to Marketing. Here’s a collection of ideas to push your thinking.

The one that I’m most excited about (because we suck so much at it) is the ability to personalize content delivered via our ads. Right message for the right person.

I am also impressed with the advances ML is powering in smart bidding (particularly in AdWords). You set your desired outcomes (target CPA, ROAS, enhanced CPC) and let intelligence help you get to your goals – sans human micro fidgeting! Right message for the right person at the right time.

Broadly speaking it is important to internalize that humans are going to get out of the campaign business (campaign management, content, offers, manual spreadsheet massaging, handful of keywords/pages/whatever focus, etc.).

Here’s one illustrative example. Most manual touch (even with a tool) search campaigns take into account three or four signals. Keyword. Time of Day. Location. Something else. Even the most “automated” approaches from your advanced agency will use a handful more. Yet, an entity like Google or Facebook has hundreds (not a metaphor) of signals it can use to deliver the right ad. There is no way any manual approach can solve for this. Machine Learning to the rescue.

Oh, and you can deliver the right message in a billion queries world (check the size of your current search campaigns for a contrast).

Let me bring some of this home by sharing an actual example from last year.

A large hotel chain wanted to solve this problem: 90k travelers are stranded every day in America across 5,145 airports. How can the hotel ensure that they show up at the right moment for all these people? The solution was to leverage real-time signals like bad weather, flight delays at 5,145 airports, and other such data, combine that with ML powered algorithms to automate ads and messaging in the proximity of local airports. All sans human-control. Result? 60% increase in bookings in targeted areas. ML + Automation = Profit.

Oh, and of course if your company’s data is not limited (and you have solved identity, please, please solve identity) you can leverage ML to do the above campaign across Search, Display and Video. AND (are you sitting down?) rather than guessing how much credit to give each marketing strategy from hundreds of thousands of customer touch points, ML powered attribution can magically analyze every individual’s journey and automatically recommend shifts to your media budget! O. M. G.

This is not some future fantasy. This is last year. Using Machine Learning.

Does it give you a sense for how far behind your company might already be?

Consider the implications of ML on your email marketing program. The dataset you have contains every piece of data about all the people on your mailing list, all the content that has ever gone out, every click they have every interacted with, every product you have, every product’s lifecycle, purchase cycle, attach rates, every outbound click, unsubscribing rates (and on and on) across all of your company history. Can you create the perfect email campaign for every person to maximize their happiness and your profit, always?

With ML, you can imagine that this is just a mid-sized difficult problem to solve.

I’m unaware of any ESP at the moment who is doing this (that does not mean it is not happening). What I’m confident of is that it is coming. So, if you are in the email business as a vendor, as an agency, or as a company…. You should be planning to live in that world now. You should be pushing your people, your agency, your vendor into that world. Now.

One key thing that stymied my efforts, and likely your ML efforts, in 2016 was Identity. Solving Identify will allow us to join isolated pools of data, give them a stronger purpose. While we all work to do that (and it really is your problem to solve primarily and not a vendor’s), it is important to realize that each marketing channel has gotten so much more advanced in being able to identify a singular human on it’s own platform. Yes, a silo but so much better than 2015.

What is great about this is that you can take one important pool where you’ve solved Identity already, your customer data, and all the signals you get from customer scoring, propensity modeling, past purchase behavior, lifetime value and other orgasmic goodness you already have, and combine it with the Identity signals from your marketing platforms to solve some very tough problems you have today.

Your kilobytes of golden signals merged with the gigabytes of customer and intent signals in their terabytes of data. You throw in some Machine Learnings into that and it truly is magic.

Another example from last year.

For a consumer electronics company, rather than engaging with everyone and slathering them all with a spray and pray generic message… The strategy deployed was to classify the existing customers, take into account their predicted value to the company, their past behavior, current expressed intent-signals, the predicted value to the company from that signal, and context the human is in. All this data, across tens of millions of identified signals to deliver a deeply unique message to humans that mattered the most – at scale. A 30 point increase in conversion rate. Thirty points.

And, this is not unusual. I’m thinking of one more example I’ll share with you in the future about an insurance company and being able to combine audience signals with machine learning to deliver a 58% increase in conversions of people who had the same attributes as their top 10% most profitable customers. Insane, right?

All the examples above, all the stories above, are not future looking. They are all real things you can do today, and results we delivered last year. That is how far along marketing already is in its ML journey. I cannot even begin to tell you how pumped I am about the changes coming this year.

All of the above is still at least to a degree human assisted. I expect, looking forward, that the human assisted part will peel off. Sooner rather than later. It is important that you consider this as you plan your career over the next three years. If you want to know what I’m doing, search for the phrase “my personal strategy” above.

For a little bit, I expect that some humans will still be required to fill data gaps (Identity!), humans will still be required for imagining brand copy or coming up with centerfold creatives. But anything that is done often in a repeatable manner is already headed to be sans human.

I really cannot stress this enough… If your marketing’s foundation is to keep adding more hamsters to run on wheels to achieve scale, you are doomed. Even if you find enough hamsters, it is critical to realize the game has changed.

While it is a little sad that our primary job as Marketers won’t be to press the relevant buttons and twist the relevant knobs on the machine, I am happy that in the end the winner is the human at the other end of our marketing. More relevant messages (if not perfectly relevant), at precisely the right time (and perhaps delivered just once!), to the human in the most meaningful moments.

Win-Win-Win.

Yes. I do have a sense for how disruptive the implication of all this change is for me, for you and for our co-workers at a deeply personal level.

Machine Learning | Analytics.

This story is much more straightforward. More and more humans are going to be transitioned out of the business of analytics. There won’t be any need for them. The pace will accelerate over the next handful of years.

We are needed today because data collection is hard. So, we have an army of implementers.

Most humans employed by companies were unable to access data – not intelligent enough or trained enough or simply time pressures. So, we have an army of glorified data regurgitators. I kid. I mean Analysts. They send out reports and dashboards. They are in the business of answering known knowns.

Some companies, some of the times truly want strategic questions answered, and they hire a small platoon of Analysis Ninjas. Most of the times they are in the valuable business of answering the known unknowns, they aim to get to the priceless unknown unknowns.

[Sidebar: If you don’t know these three phrases, please watch my short talk: A Big Data Imperative: Driving Big Action.]

Insane as it seems like, data collection should get sorted out in the next few years. As close to perfect data, with little to no instrumentation, because it will all already be built in.

The current crop of Analytics tools are getting better and better at the known knowns, the process of disintermediation of the humans doing that work is only going to accelerate… And then that work will disappear. If you are solving for the known knowns, and ML can do that a million times better than you AND can take the necessary action, why are you or I needed in the data puking business?

If you are a report writer in your company most of the time, ponder the above thought. Here’s the great news: Time to move up the food chain or move to a different chain. Hurray!

The Known Unknowns are going to be a source of job security for the next two or three years (perhaps less on the Marketing side). As ML creates new possibilities whenever people give you a finite, repeatable question, for which they don’t have an answer, ML will ask: Why do you need the answer? Why don’t I just go take the action for you?

Ok, it literally won’t say that, but for predictable questions there are predictable actions to be taken. Why can’t we automate them and infuse them with intelligence?

The barrier to this is that your Analytics vendor is in a silo, your campaign vendor in their own, your CMS in it’s own, your mobile anything in it’s own. None of them caring to extend and collaborate. Still, a solvable problem. And, if you read my marketing stories above carefully, this is already solved in those examples. So, there is a blueprint.

If you are in the business of answering unknown unknowns, you have job security for another five years or so. This is simply because analytics vendors are still not taking the ML revolution seriously. Not at Adobe, not at Google, not at SAP, not at IBM. There are small efforts. Click on link called Assistant in the left nav of the Google Analytics app, or click on the link in Analytics that says Data Driven Attribution. They should you hints, even as they leave the action entirely on the human. I think we need our version of the Manhattan project. Hopefully analytics vendors will pivot in a big way – why solve the pressing, surely going to go away in two years, problems of today?

Here’s the higher-order-bit…. Anthony Goldbloom phrased this beautifully: Machines will excel at frequent high-volume tasks, humans can tackle novel situations.

In Analytics and Optimization, almost everything we do today would fit in the category of frequent high-volume tasks. It puts pressure on the longevity of our jobs. Until complete disruption arrives, try to migrate your job’s focus on the unknown unknowns – that is still a novel situation.

Analytics was a means to making smarter decisions. I am glad analytics as we know it will go away. It will be automated, scaled, faster, more delightful and deliver higher impact.

Over the last few years you’ve seen a huge infusion on this blog of business strategy, of influencing shifts in direction, of trying to fill gaps in people’s thinking where no data exists, of being able to function in ambiguity. All of these, until we get truly Artificial General Intelligence (AGI), will still continue to be a source of gainful employment. Hence, that’s the Analyst of the near-future in my humble view.

Artificial Intelligence | Future | Kids.

I don’t normally talk about this, but in context of this discussion I wanted to be a bit more open.

All this time I’ve spent on AI, on the acceleration of change, on the massive disruption that’s coming, it got me thinking about my kids and the world I have to get them ready for.

Two thoughts to share with you, to spark your imagination in case you have kids or you play an influential role in a child’s life.

The Strategic.

Our kids are young, hence almost nothing they are learning in school or they’ll learn at University will really get them ready to live in the world they’ll graduate into. And. What scares me is that I can’t even predict what that world will be like. What will work actually mean? I don’t like being helpless, and hence I gave some thought to what key skills / attributes could I possibly want them to have that will help them to be ready to tackle what might be coming.

We choose three that might serve them well:

1. Emotional resilience. (A handful of things in there. A strong emotional core, in the face of challenging situations – love, work, insane people etc. The ability to be happy – I'm paranoid about this one.)

2. Recognize, and exploit change. (Hardest thing for a human to do, we like status quo. I'm thinking of how to give them a portfolio of skills, rather than just be happy they are an engineer or a teacher or a plumber.)

3. Discipline. (Be laser focused, ability to get things done, ignore distractions – not the same as focus -, a certain amount of ruthlessness in getting to a pre-determined valuable end.)

There are more of course. One that came close was the ability to always know one’s unique strengths. These three felt right to us.

I invite your suggestions via comments below.

The Tactical.

My son has a propensity towards computer science. Even at his young age he programs in Java, he has learned Perl, JavaScript, and other web technologies. He is working on his second Android app. While all that, and his Sunday tutoring at Stanford, is helping stretch his brain, training him to think in clever ways, he will start his professional life, less than a decade away, with no jobs where those skills are going to be required.

Because he is headed into this specific direction, we are pivoting our strategy for him. We are going to prepare him for the world that will be well here, by the time he is in his chosen field of interest. The team at Facebook had a very nice article that collected their guidance. It is going to help inform my son's strategy.

Here’s the relevant excerpt from their blog post:

How do we prepare for jobs that don’t yet exist?

If you’re a student:

+ Math and physics classes are where one learns the basic methods for AI, machine learning, data science, and many of the jobs of the future. Take all the math class you can possibly take, including Calc I, Calc II, Calc III, Linear Algebra, Probability, and Statistics. Computer science, too, is essential; you’ll need to learn how to program. Engineering, economics, and neuroscience are also helpful. You may also want to consider some areas of philosophy, such as epistemology, which is the study of what is knowledge, what is a scientific theory, and what does it mean to learn.

+ The goal in these classes is not simple rote memorization. Students must learn how to turn data into knowledge. This includes basic statistics, but also how to collect and analyze data, be aware of possible biases, and to be alert to techniques to prevent self-delusion through biased data manipulation.

+ Find a professor in your school who can help you make your ideas concrete. If their time is limited, you can also look toward senior PhD students or postdocs to work with.

+ Apply to PhD programs. Forget about the “ranking” of the school for now. Find a reputable professor who works on topics that you are interested in, or pick a person whose papers you like or admire. Apply to several PhD programs in the schools of these professors and mention in your letter that you’d like to work with that professor, but would be open to work with others.

+ Engage with an AI-related problem you are passionate about. Start reading the literature on the problem and try to think about it differently than what was done before. Before you graduate, try to write a paper about your research or release a piece of open source code.

+ Apply for industry-focused internships to get hands-on experience on how AI works in practice.

Summary: Loads of Advanced Math, Engineering, Neuroscience with a pinch of philosophy, and loads of analytical thinking.

If you have a child in your life who is headed in the "IT" / "Computers" (or honestly any job that will come in five years), please consider this valuable guidance.

Artificial Intelligence | Worry about Humanity.

I can’t cover AI without at least touching on this thought:

AI is going to wipe out humanity. To a super intelligence that is in control of the planet, we will appear to be the equivalent of how ants appear to us – mostly pests who get in the way, even as we express passing appreciation for their “primitive intelligence.”

It is important to understand two incredibly valuable definitions that I’ve paraphrased from the brilliant Yuval Noah Harari.

Intelligence is the ability to solve problems.

Consciousness is  the ability to feel things.

People who express the thought above mix the two things.

Absolutely no one can predict the future a hundred years out (I encourage you NOT to Google Mr. Harari’s prediction about what he sees happening 300 years out). But, everything we know at the moment, everything we can see peeking into the future to the best abilities of our best thinkers, indicates that we are solving for Intelligence, there is no current path to Consciousness.

It does not mean we will keep control of the Super Intelligence or that we or a Super Intelligence won’t want to solve for Consciousness (honestly, why would it?).

It is important to understand the difference, if only to be able to see through the hysteria and think cogently.

Speaking of thinking cogently, if you want to have a broader imagination related to AI’s potential to be valuable and disruptive to the current order, here are a clutch of articles…

NTT Resonant, a Japanese tech company, has trained an AI to give love advice to troubled hearts. This is not a lame chatbot with very short answers. Oshi-el can take in complicated pages long questions, which often family and other context, and responds with answers. Not perfect, but so incredible even today.

Health is a space that is seeing some exciting progress. 415 million (!) people are at risk worldwide and you need a medical specialists to detect it – specialists who are not available in many parts of the world. Google’s algorithm, leveraging ML and Computer Vision, is already on-par with Ophthalmologists in being able to detect Diabetic Eye Disease. There is more work to be done, but how cool that so many lives can be saved. And, this is one of so many health related efforts leveraging ML.

Augmentation is perhaps the most optimal way to think about the near-term future. The world will find some use for what we are good at, and we’ll use AI for what it is good at. Maurice Conti presents a cluster of ideas that are in the play today that demonstrate the incredible inventions of intuitive AI. Mind-blowing what is already possible.

It is not clear what the future beyond the next 50 years will bring. I hope the articles above give you clues.

Please be curious about AI and its implications on your job today, and on the generation you are helping prepare for the future. Now's the time to pivot.

As always, it is your turn now.

Are you leveraging Machine Learning in your job or as a personal curiosity? If you’ve already downloaded TensorFlow, what are you doing with it? Is a piece of your marketing strategy leveraging ML powered options Facebook or Google are making available to you? If you had to give advice to an Analyst to get ready for an AI-first world, what would it be? Have you thought of the implications of all this change on your children? Any tips for me and my kids?

Thank you.

Artificial Intelligence: Implications On Marketing, Analytics, And You is a post from: Occam's Razor by Avinash Kaushik

from SEO Tips http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/OccamsRazorByAvinash/~3/0tdfC4BtvPs/

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Pinch

Agnes/Estinien. Five times Estinien pinched Agi’s ass, and one time she pinched his.

In his infirmary bed, Estinien watched Agnes pack her bag. Don’t be sad, Varlineau. She’ll be back tomorrow! And the day after. And the day after. She promised. She won’t let you rot…erm, recover here by yourself. She then bent over with her behind facing Estinien.

By the Fury, that ass! It’s so big and juicy and looks so soft I bet if I reached and gave it a little pinch…fuck it all, but I can’t even leave my bed!

As sneakily as he could, he reached his scarred hand towards her behind and gave her a small pinch. Fuck yes.

“Oh!” Agnes squeaked and turned around. “Estinien, you naughty man!” She was giggling uncontrollably, which pleased Estinien to no end. She’s too damn adorable and too irresistible. “You just had to pinch my bum, didn’t you?”

Estinien smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. “My lady, when presented with such an opportunity, one must take advantage, no?”

***

He took advantage of another opportunity during their time in Costa del Sol. He had asked Agnes if he could take her into Limsa for a romantic evening. Wearing her pink dress with pink tulle trim, she was bloody gorgeous. He kept a hand on her thick waist as they went through Hawkers Alley. She can buy whatever she wants. Something nice for herself. She deserves it.

“Look at these!” Agnes stopped at a stall with various nail polishes. “Some of them have glitter! Aren’t they lovely?” She chose a bottle of glittery purple to examine.

Her ass is right there. Just move the hand a bit lower and…

Agnes turned to Estinien with a raised eyebrow. “I know what you did, love.”

“Who? Me? Pray tell, my lady, what did I do?” Estinien asked with a wink.

Agnes giggled. “Don’t play dumb, ser. I know what you did. You did it earlier today…several times, in fact. I might even say that you enjoy it.”

He laughed heartily and moved his hand to her hip, squeezing it lightly. “Aye, aye, I do! I hope you don’t mind, sweetheart.” Please, if you truly don’t like this, then tell me. I’ll stop. I never want to upset you ever. You’re too precious to me.

Agnes paid for the nail polish, placed it in her bag, and kissed his cheek. “Love, if I didn’t like it, then I’d have used Aero on you to blow you away!”

“If that’s the case,” he murmured, hand traveling down again. “I do believe your ass requires more attention.” He smirked as he grabbed a handful this time.

When Agnes’s face turned as red as a tomato, he laughed some more (never at her expense) and pulled her into a hug.

***

Agnes spent the first few days after The Final Days at the Leveilleur estate with Estinien and her mother. She mainly slept for the first day, waking to see her husband watching over her. Now though, on the second day, Agnes was determined to get up and have some food. I am so hungry!

She walked down the stairs and saw a sight that warmed her heart---Luci, the Leveilleurs, and Estinien chatting and having tea.

“Hello! How is everyone?” Agnes asked pleasantly.

“How are you feeling, Ag—” Alphinaud began as Estinien ran for his wife.

“Woman, you are supposed to be resting! Not up! Go back upstairs and rest! I’ll get you food!”

Agnes’s eyes bulged. “Love, really…I can sit here with everyone and at the very least thank the Leveilleurs for hospitality—”

“Really Estinien, Agi isn’t sick!” Alisaie groaned with a dramatic eyeroll. “And she can sit with us if she wants!”

Estinien crossed his arms and stared daggers at the teenager.

“Love, how about you get me some food and I’ll sit here for a while and see how I feel? If I get tired, I can always go back upstairs, okay?” Agnes touched his arm and gave him a small smile. Please, for the love of the gods, do not make a scene right now.

“As my wife commands.” He whispered, kissing her lightly on the lips.

And then pinched her ass.

“Love!”

“Estinien!” The twins shrieked.

Ameliance giggled.

Luci winked.

And Master Fourchenault wished he had stayed in bed that day.

***

Oh dear, I think I’m a bit…stuck. Agnes stopped and considered her current predicament. Pregnant with her eighth child, she was sitting in her favorite comfy chair in their new home at Radz-at-Han (so much bigger than the apartment!) when she tried to get up.

And couldn’t quite get up.

She pat her still growing belly and giggled. “My little love, you are already so big and still there’s a moon and a half left! A little too big for Mummy to get up at the moment.”

“I’m guessing you require mine assistance, Madame Varlineau?” A deep, rumbling voice sounded from the entry. Estinien stood, arms crossed, staring at his wife.

Agnes felt her cheeks blush crimson. “Erm, yes please, ser dragoon. Your son is quite literally weighing me down.” It’s a good thing the children are with Aymeric for a visit. How embarrassing to see their Mummy in such a state!

Estinien knelt in front of Agnes and kissed her belly. “Good boy, keep on growing.” He whispered, kissing her belly one more time. Standing once again, he summoned Nidhogg’s strength and picked Agnes up to her surprise.

“Love! I said ‘help me up’ not ‘pick me up!’” Agnes laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Estinien laughed heartily as he set her down.

And then pinched her ass.

“Love!”

“I’m suddenly feeling a bit frisky, my pretty wife. Would you join me in bed?” He growled, pinching her ass again.

Agnes squeaked as she nodded and was carried to their bedroom for what was to become several bells’ worth of passionate lovemaking.

***

“Did you see Agi? I caught a big one!” Estinien, now aged sixty-seven, cackled, reeling in a fish while sitting in a chair on the dock.

Agnes giggled. “Yes, you did, love. Good job.”

In the years following Estinien’s injury, he had decided to take up fishing as it meant he could sit (and as he put it, “still bloody do something”) and rest his bad leg. Agnes thought he was positively adorable when he was so excited about a big catch. He’s so happy. I’m glad he found something to enjoy…those days after the injury…I never want that to happen again.

“Agi? You alright?” Estinien asked, worried. He worries so much about me. That will never change.

She wrinkled her nose and giggled again. “I’m fine. Just thinking about how handsome you are today.” She leaned and gave him a quick peck on his unshaven cheek.

He raised an eyebrow. “Just today?”

Agnes stuck out her tongue. “No! Not just today! Today and every day, my grumpy dragon.” She rose from her own chair to stretch a little and then…

“LOVE!”

He began laughing uncontrollably. “Forgive me, my love! Twas too good an opportunity to pass up! After all, your ass is still the biggest softest prettiest ass ‘round.” When Agnes turned to him and tried to put on her best “I’m very annoyed face” he only laughed harder.

“You know, love, all this laughing is going to drive the fish away.” She sat back down and pulled his face to hers, lips colliding in a what soon turned into a heated kiss. When the kiss ended, Agnes was breathless.

“Best ass on the star, no contest.” Estinien smirked, earning himself a light smack on the arm. “You hear that fishies! Best ass on the star!” He shouted. Thank fuck no one is nearby!!!!

“Estinien Varlineau, you madman!” Oh dear, my face is bright red…I can feel it. Oh dear.

“If I am mad, madam, it’s because you drive me to it! Have since the day we met.” He threw out his line once more and smirked. “Best. Ass. On. The. Star.”

***

“Hold on, sweetheart, I think it’s in my bag.” Estinien called, bending over to find…oh dear his ass!

Agnes stared at his tight, muscled ass on full display in front of her.

How in the world is it so wonderful?! I could bounce a thousand coins off it. A million coins? A billion coins?!

Unconsciously, Agnes began moving towards her lover as quietly as she could.

He’s still focused on finding...finding…what was it he’s supposed to find again?

Before Agnes realized it, her hand slowly reached for that ass.

“Oi! What the fuck?!” Estinien shouted, turning around to face a deeply embarrassed Agnes. “Did you just…wait a second, did you just pinch my ass?”

OH DEAR! Agnes fidgeted and pushed her glasses up. “I, erm, well, love, I just couldn’t resist, you see. Your ass is so lovely, and I just—”

Agnes never finished the rambling sentence.

No sooner had she began explaining when the familiar red aether swirled, and he lifted her in his arms. “I’m going to fuck the living hells out of you, my pretty.” He growled and kissed her passionately.

She squealed as he kicked open the door to the Luci Currai’s cottage.

Neither were seen again until the next day.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

I just want to say your drunk Estinien is the most endearing thing ever. Just curious, has Agni ever gotten a call on her link pearl saying she has to pick up her drunk Grumpy dragoon because he cannot be alone

"Helloooooooooooooo Agi?" was what Agnes heard when she answered her linkpearl that chimed as soon as she entered her room at the Baldesion Annex. The Sharlayan group had an interesting day to say the least. Getting turned into toads, "speaking" to Hydaelyn again, and nearly getting deported for...reasons. What wouldn't give to just have a shower and curl up with 'Stinien right now.

Instead, she heard a drunk Thancred on her ear. "Yes, Thancred?"

"Agi, there'sh a bit of a...s-shi-shituation. Are you back?"

Agnes sighed. "Yes, I'm back. Why?"

"Oooooh, well...I procured a fine bottle, you schee and your lover ish trying to jump--"

"Out a window. Your room?"

"Why yesh! Thank you, Agi."

She ended the call and made her way to Thancred's room. Why couldn't you have taken him fishing, Thancred? Why?! Agnes knocked on the door, and it was a minute before a disheveled Thancred answered the door.

"Schee Eshtinien! Sche's right here!" Thancred yelled, pulling Agnes inside.

Oh goodness. He really is trying to get jump out a window to try to find me. "Love! Please don't do anything silly. I'm right here. We're back."

Estinien turned and nearly leapt across the room at Agnes. He gathered her into his arms and sighed happily. "My schweetheart, you're back!"

Yes I am! Very back and very wanting to get you into my room! Agnes returned his embrace, her hands on his back. "Mmhm. What's this I heard about you trying to jump out a window, love?"

"Jus' want you ish all. Wanna haff my Agi." Oh dear, he smells like he's been drinking. Not the best Estinien smell in the world...I'll have words with Thancred tomorrow.

"Do you mind awfully if we go to my room, love? It's been a long day, and I--" Agnes wasn't able to finish before Estinien kissed her and then took her hand, dragging her out of Thancred's room. "BYE!"

Once they arrived in her room, Estinien dropped to his knees. I don't think he fell... "My angel *hic* I missshed you schooooooooooo much. Don't leaf me. Don't leaf me."

Leave him? Oh love, I never would. You're my everything. Agnes's hands cupped his face and tilted his head up. "I'm not leaving you. We're done with what we can do in Sharlayan for now." Without getting in trouble again. "I promise I'll never leave you. We're in this together, aren't we?"

Glassy eyed, he nodded. "Never leafin' my sschauage roll. Wanna be wit you and our baby." His eyes widened. "OUR BABY!" He kissed her belly and hugged her again. "LIL BABY! It'sch okay, lil baby. Papa'sh here. Doesh the baby need food? DO YOU?!" Very wobbly, he stood and frantically looked around the room. "YOU NEED FOOD! THE BABY'SH GROWING!"

Agnes blinked several times. Goodness. I do want some dinner but shower first! I'm sweaty and gross. "I'm hungry, but I want a shower first, love. I was in Labryinthos again and got very sweaty...ESTINIEN!"

He was now trying to get out of her window.

Agnes tapped her linkpearl. "Ojika, it's Agi. Do you mind putting in an order to The Last Stand for delivery here? A large four cheese pizza and a side of those little fried cheese sticks. Thank you so much!" She ended the call and tugged at Estinien's shirt. "No need, love. Ojika is making sure food gets here."

That, to her shock, did not appease him. "BUT I'M YOUR MAN! ME! NOT THAT LIL SCHIT!" He blinked a few times and his look changed to apologetic. "Schorry. Gonna puke now."

"Nonononononono! NO!"

At least I grabbed the waste basket at the last second. Time to call Ojika again...

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Sick

Agnes/Estinien. Agnes feels a bit queasy after Pagl’than. Spoilers for 5.5

Lunar Bahamut is gone. Thank fuck for that. Agnes placed her staff on her back, hearing the rest of her comrades running toward her.

“Well, that’s one down and however many more to go.” Thancred quipped as the others caught up.

“At least this one is gone, thank goodness.” Alisaie said. “And hopefully, Arenvald and Fordola are all right!”

Agnes closed her eyes. Their voices became muffled as she tried to focus as waves of nausea and fatigue hit her. Oh dear, not this again. Just…breathe. Breathe and act normal! I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s nothing. I’m fine. I don’t actually want to throw up my lunch all over Alphinaud. Nope, no vomiting here. Her eyes suddenly shot open as she felt a metal gauntlet at the small of her back.

“Agi, are you okay? You look pale.” Estinien asked, his face painted with concern.

Urianger glanced at the two and remarked, “Agnes, thou art looking quite pale. Were you injured?”

No! Play it cool. Act normally. She chuckled. “I’m fine. Just need some water probably. It’s quite hot. Anyways, shall we head back to Ul’dah.”

Urianger raised an eyebrow but decided to let it go for now. Estinien, on the other hand, kept on eye on her the entire time they waited with Alphinaud and Fordola and then back at the Rising Stones.

He’s actually a Scion now! Finally! I knew it. I knew he’d join us eventually…oh no, oh no, this isn’t good. Agnes swallowed and exhaled loudly.

“Agi, are you alright? You’re white as bloody snow.” Thancred asked and began to move towards her.

Thancred, no, no, no, please. OH NO! Agnes covered her mouth and ran into the Seventh Heaven, slamming the door behind her. She saw a waste basket and immediately threw up what she thought was several days’ worth of meals into it. I can’t be sick. Not now. Not when some crazy fucks are trying to end the world. Not now.

“Agi? It’s Y’shtola and Urianger. Are you well? Do you need help?” Y’shtola called from the other side of the door.

“AGI, OPEN THIS DOOR, OR I’LL KNOCK IT DOWN!” Estinien bellowed.

“We doth not knock down our own doors, Ser Estinien.”

“AGI! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!”

Agnes took a deep breath and shakily made her way to the door to unlock it. “I’m okay…just threw up. Maybe it was something I ate—”

Before she could finish, Estinien grabbed her arm and dragged her to one of the infirmary beds. Y’shtola and Urianger followed, each with worried looks on their faces.

“Dear Agnes, how long hast thou been experiencing symptoms?” Urianger asked kindly. “If it is some bad food, then we should know the source.”

“Honestly…a few weeks. It’s not been as bad as today though. I think the battle and heat exacerbated it.”

“A few weeks?!?!?!?” Estinien growled. “You’ve been hiding this from…us for a few weeks?!?!?”

Agnes frowned and sighed. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want anyone to worry. There’s so many people counting on me.”

Y’shtola smiled. “You have nothing to apologize for, Agi. However, I’d like to examine you with Urianger’s assistance, if you’re amendable of course.”

“Of course, my lady.”

Estinien stepped away and leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. “If you think I’m going anywhere, you’re sorely mistaken.” Oh love, there’s no need to worry.

“I wouldn’t expect any less.” Agnes grinned. “All right, Urianger, Y’shtola, do your worst!” And hopefully it’s nothing serious. Or life-threatening.

Several minutes passed with general questions, and then Y’shtola examined Agnes’s aether, worrying that perhaps Ardbert’s sacrifice was waning.

Then her eyes shot open.

“Agi, I…I’m sensing something.”

“What dost thou see, Y’shtola?”

“There’s a little orb of aether. It’s distinct from Agi and yet…” Y’shtola’s eyes widened. “Have you been taking your contraceptive potion?”

Oh.

Ooooh.

Oooooooooooooooooooooh my goodness. We…oh my.

“Well, you see, I haven’t been taking it for quite some time now, and…am I…?”

Urianger’s mouth dropped as he finished his own examination. “Thou art with child, my friend. I would estimate around 10 weeks or so.”

How did it not even cross my mind?! We haven’t been actively trying. Just seeing how it would go. And now…we’re having a baby. And these twats want to start the Final Days. Great timing as always, Agi.

Y’shtola started heading to the door. “I think you and Estinien should discuss this alone. Come Urianger, we’ll assure the others that Agnes is well but say nothing of what we’ve learned.”

Urianger bowed and whispered “Congratulations” before leaving Agnes and Estinien alone in the Seventh Heaven.

“Please say something, Estinien. Please. Don’t just stand there.” Agnes folded her hands in her lap, trying to think. We talked about this. We want this. He told me so. Why is he so quiet? Isn’t he happy? I mean, fuck, the timing could be better, but we wanted this! Right?

He slowly approached the infirmary bed and knelt in front of her, looking at her hands. “You are well? For the moment at least?”

Please, say something else. Say you’re happy. Or…are you not? Please. “Now that I’ve had some water and threw up, yes. But love, I—”

He finally dared to look at her face, and all of Agnes’s worries vanished. It was a mix of wonder and joy. Like he can’t quite believe it. Oh, love. “We…Agi, we’re going to be parents.”

She couldn’t help but grin. “Yes we are. We’re having a baby!” Agnes threw her arms around Estinien’s neck. They shared a short kiss before Estinien pulled back.

“Careful, I still have Iceheart on. Let’s shower and change, then we can celebrate.”

As Agnes got up from the bed, he offered his hand to assist her and then kissed her knuckles. “I was worried for a second there.”

“About what?”

“You weren’t saying anything. I thought maybe you were upset or…” Agnes trailed off.

“You think too much, sweet girl. It took a few moments to hit me that you’re pregnant. That we ‘did it’ so to speak.” He winked and opened the door for her.

Agnes scrunched her nose and laughed. “We certainly did, love! On multiple occasions!”

The rest of the day was unusually lazy for both of them---shower, change clothes, and lying on our not my bed in our not my room. I’m pretty sure Y’shtola and Urianger told everyone to leave us alone with Shtola threatening them. Better her than Estinien, to be honest.

Agnes was on her side with Estinien spooning her from behind. His large, scarred hand was splayed across her lower belly with one of her much smaller ones over it.

“We’re having a baby, love.” Agnes whispered happily. She could hear him sigh behind her.

“Aye, that we are. Our own little babe.”

“The timing is a bit shit—”

“Aye.”

“And I’ll have to be very careful—”

“Aye, and if you aren’t, I’ll drag you back to bed myself.”

“But despite all that,” Agnes gently rubbed his hand. “I’m so happy.”

“As am I, my love. You needn’t worry about a thing---I’ll see to you and the babe. You’ll both want for nothing.” My heart could burst right now. I love you so much. And I love our baby. You’ll be an amazing father.

Agnes could feel herself drifting off to sleep when there was a knock on the door.

“Agi? Estinien? Is everything all right?” Thancred’s voice asked from the other side of the door.

She squeezed Estinien’s hand and answered, “All good in here, Thancred. Just need some rest.”

“Supper is downstairs in case either of you are hungry. Let me know if there’s ought you need.”

After a few moments, Estinien spoke. “I can’t hear his boots anymore, so he’s gone. You hungry?”

Please don’t mention food! Agnes gulped and felt another wave of nausea. “Erm…no? Excuse me!” She quickly extricated herself from Estinien, nearly fell onto the floor, and managed to stumble into the bathroom just as she threw up. Again.

Estinien sighed, got up, and went to rub his lady’s back in her moment of sickness. “S’alright, Agi. Hopefully this won’t last too long.”

Once finished, Agnes stared up at Estinien, completely exhausted. “Hopefully.” I love you, baby, but I do not love this!

“I was going to head down as soon as you’re settled in bed again. I won’t be long, I promise.” He smiled, and red aether churned around him. Estinien lifted Agnes and carried her back to bed. “Rest, my sweet. I’ll return anon.”

When Estinien returned twenty minutes later, Agnes was fast asleep with a hand on her belly and a smile on her face. He crawled into bed behind her and held her, falling asleep and dreaming of their new little family.