#i want galehaut to be there because. it's better that way

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

love when i see a book rec list where half the items on it are things i liked / thought were okay / haven't read but am intrigued by... and then there's just one thing on there i hate and it ruins the whole list for me. i'm like. sorry. if you enjoyed the vibes of XYZ i cannot trust your taste at all. i object.

[flo-nelja]

Somnophilia for kink meme?

Alright, most of my answers are gonna be noncon somnophilia with creeps, I know it doesn't bother you, but warning for everyone else for lots of mentions of sexual assault under cut.

Galehaut/Lancelot (Arthurian legend)

Alright, despite his obsession, Galehaut is not a creep, but there is so much UST in the scene where he spends all the night watching him sleep that IF they got together they'd sure recreate it. It suits Lancelot's hang-ups too.

2. Oscar/Zenigata (Lupin III)

Alright, Oscar IS a creep, and you know what, he totally would. It's the only way I can see it happening, honestly. ^^

3. Knives/Legato (Trigun)

I'm less sure about this one happening, because damn, Legato has self-control, but also, he had to watch him heal for literal years, and he has a twisted sense of sex and autonomy to say the least. Also, I ship it hard, the creepiest the better

4. Asuna/Fueko (The feelings we all must endure)

A consensual version, for once. I'm sure they have tried this, in a way to make agree Fueko's chronic fatigue and Asuna's unending lust. I'm also sure it wasn't satisfying, but it would be interesting.

5. Mac/Beaver (Veronica Mars)

The canon version of it, and damn, was it a creepy betrayal. I used to love the ship, though, and after I still loved it, but very differently.

6. Izzy/Ed (Our flag means death)

I think we talked about it, that I had this creepy bunny of Izzy insisting that it's only for Ed's sake he lets himself be fucked (he lies) and Ed is like, well, you wouldn't mind if I fucked you while you're opium-drugged then, and Izzy not wanting to change his mind, and... I can't believe it's technically consensual. Consent for all the wrong reasons.

7. Scorpius/John

The creepy mad scientist/subject of experiment version. There was noncon surgery. I don't trust Scorpius to be mild about it.

8. Chloe/Kirika (Noir)

Chloe kisses Kirika when she's amenesiac, she sure would kiss her while she's asleep.

9. Lupin/Jigen (Lupin III)

This time I'm sure it was a headcanon we had together. The sharing a bed and Lupin is a freak while he's asleep porn bunny (I won't say plot bunny)

10. Seishirou/Subaru (Tokyo Babylon)

When I was very new in fandom I read a fic with a scene like this, and damn, it marked me.

[eternal-arms-mastery]

Okay last collection of thoughts before I verify some legal stuff for work.

My brain naturally wants to pick an FPS since that's what I'm more familiar with. Lancelot is top frag. Too cliche to have the gril as the manager so Gwen as the coach and Arthur as the manager/team owner? His dream was a non-toxic esports culture so he made a team with those ideals in mind. Excalibur is him being worthy of the fuckton of money it takes to run a team lmao.

Lancelot's initial misogyny can be him not immediately realizing Gwen is the coach. He also sometimes doesn't listen to coaching stuff and its hard to tell whats misogyny (its probably not) and whats overconfidence and running into enemy backlines/ego peeking. The rest of his off-putting behavior is him being way too serious when it comes to fun team get to know the team social media events. Also he doesn't go out for KBBQ with everyone so he can stay at home and aimlabs/OSU it up (the korean bit can be leaned into that its totes better in korea).

I'd probably include more of the other knights. Galehaut is a recruiter for a different org. It doesn't go into match fixing but like, Lancelot goes out to a sponsor thing with them because they seem nice and they help them get a sponsor for a new facility or something. Gawain is the only person Lance will duo with on-stream (note to look up more of the charismatic Gawain characterization)

Because this is my story I can do what I want, the downfall of Camelot (the team) is that they're poly but some of the teammates/sponsors are not cool about that arrangement slash being repped by a "cuck", consensual parties be damned. Plus the overarching conflicts of interest I guess. The end is that they still set a precedent in esports for like, not being toxic or whatever but also they all retire and do something else.

all of this is moot because the entire league falls apart at the hands of bad game corporate management

The biggest thing to contend with is that, generally, esports players tend much younger so kids are out of the question.

Camelot esports AU

[essays-for-breakfast]

That ominous child

Since everyone seems to argue and hypothesize about the identity of King’s and Diane’s child, and Nakaba can’t be bothered to offer answers, I decided to throw my own hat into the ring. Using The Encyclopedia of Arthurian Legends - the best book EVER - I have devised a list of the ten most interesting and most likely candidates from a variety of Arthurian stories. Most of these have been named by others before, but I’ve come across a few obscure characters that might be worth considering. Five guys, five girls, here we go:

#1 Gawain

I’ve read this take a few times, but honestly, I find him to be an unlikely candidate. As Arthur’s nephew, Gawain has next to no ties to the Fairy Clan (or Faerie if you prefer the old spelling). Gawain also has a track record of becoming an antagonist to Lancelot, including his role in Le morte d’Arthur (Thomas Malory). Could a rivalry between Lancelot and his cousin work in nnt canon? Certainly, but I find it unlikely. I like Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (unknown) as much as the next guy, but I have a hard time connecting his personality with either King or Diane. There’s also Gawain’s ability that increases his strength by noon, which is the same as Escanor’s Sunshine. In short, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Gawain make an appearance in The Four Knights of the Apocalypse, but not as King’s and Diane’s child.

#2 Perceval (or Percival)

Now, this one’s interesting for two reasons: his ties to the Holy Grail and his origin. In The Story of the Grail (Chrétien de Troyes), Perceval is said to be raised in a forest by his mother, who doesn’t want him to become a knight. With Diane’s natural resentment to fighting for the sake of fighting and after what happened to Lancelot, I could see King and Diane wanting to avoid their child to follow in their footsteps and become a knight. As for the Holy Grail, which shares resemblance to the Fountain of Youth in nnt, Perceval was one of several knights who found the grail. The list includes Gawain, Bors, and Galahad, Lancelot’s son. What makes Perceval stand out among these, however, is that in a continuation of The Story of the Grail (Manessier), he is revealed to be the nephew of the Grail King and he inherits his kingdom after his death. If we consider Ban the Grail King due to his relation to the Fountain of Youth, Perceval might just be the name of his so far unidentified nephew.

#3 Bors

I heard his name being tossed around in conversation a handful of times, mostly because Bors the Younger is Lancelot’s cousin according to Malory. And while Nakaba seems to take a lot of inspiration from Malory when it comes to family relations (look no further than Tristan’s and Lancelot’s parents), in Arthurian Legends, everyone is related to everyone. In the Historia Regum Brittaniae (Geoffrey of Monmouth), Ban’s sister Ivoire is the mother of Uther Pendragon, which makes Lancelot Arthur’s uncle once removed. What I’m trying to say is, Bors is not the only one related to Lancelot. But to be fair, Bors is a Knight of the Round Table, and therefore a companion to Lancelot and Tristan. So, if King’s and Diane’s child is named Bors, it won’t be entirely out of left field.

#4 Oberon

A popular choice for a reason. Oberon is featured in a handful of Arthurian poems as king of the fairies, so he certainly has a connection to King and the Fairy Clan. The only problem I see is that Kings child, no matter who they are, would likely not succeed him as Fairy King. The Sacred Tree makes that choice. Regardless, while Oberon might never be the Fourth Fairy King, he could feature as first prince of the Fairy Clan.

#5 Galehaut

An interesting side character of Le morte d’Arthur (Malory). Why? Because his mother was the giantess Bagota, which makes him a canonical hybrid. His title as ‘the high prince’ would also fit his identity as King’s and Diane’s child. And as a final bonus, Galehaut is a firm friend of Lancelot and through him became a Knight of the Round Table.

#6 Morgan Le Fay

My personal favorite. While she is Arthur’s half-sister in most stories, when she appeared in Vita Merlini (Geoffrey), there is no mention of her blood relation to Arthur. Instead she is said to fly with wings and be able to change her form. Sounds like another Fairy we know, doesn’t it? Morgan learned magic from Merlin, and since the nnt versions of Lancelot and Tristan seem to focus more on physical rather than magical combat, I think it would be nice if King’s and Diane’s child filled that gap. What’s also worth noting about Morgan is her connection to the Fairy King Hellekin, who in Italian romances became better known as Harlequin. In Li Jus Adan (Adam de la Halle), Hellekin is the lover of Morgan Le Fay, and while that sounds weird as an argument in favor of her being King’s daughter in nnt, Nakaba could always ignore this detail. Or Morgan will be the real name of the Lady of the Lake, who knows at this point.

#7 Nimue

Some sources such as Myths of Britain (M. Senior) argue that Nimue is a variant of Vivian, and that they are the same character. Both are typically identified as a Lady of the Lake. Nnt already has a Vivian, and the way she kidnaps Gil and obsesses over him bears resemblance to what Nimue does to Merlin in Le morte d’Arthur (Malory). Then why did I include Nimue? Because Nimue/Vivian is the the granddaughter of the goddess of the wood, who, in the prose of Vulgate Version (unknown), is named Diane.

#8 Iseult (or Isolde)

This one only works if Kiane’s daughter will have a romance with Tristan. I’m not saying that is impossible, but how often does it happen that the the children of friends fall in love? It’s a nice trope, but if King’s and Diane’s daughter were named Iseult, her fate would be a little too predictable. And I guess this would also mean that the Fairy Realm is the equivalent of Ireland... so it works perfectly!

#9 Caelia

My wild card. She is only featured in one work, as far as I know, A Collection of Early English Prose Poems (edit. W.J. Thomas). Caelia is here the Fairy Queen and the lover of Arthur’s illegitimate son, Tom a’Lincoln. So, if Arthur already has a child at the beginning of the sequel, and if said child is in need of a love interest, King’s and Diane’s daughter might just fit the bill. Let’s just hope that nnt Caelia won’t drown herself.

#10 Laudine

Last one, this post is already longer than it has any right to be. In The Knight with the Lion (Chrétien), Laudine is the lady of a magical fountain in the forest of Broceliande. This creates a nice connection to Elaine, doesn’t it? And if the Fairy King’s Forest will somehow find a new Fountain of Youth, perhaps King’s and Diane’s daughter will guard this new fountain, just like Lancelot guarded Benwick in his father’s place. Laudine later became the wife of Owain (or Ywain), another Knight of the Round Table and Arthur’s nephew.

...

Or Nakaba messes with us and picks a random name out of a hat to assign to King’s and Diane’s ominous child.

[tillman]

Hi, it's Valentine, back with another essay on Lancelot again. I’m deranged and you all have to accept this. Anyways this ones been a long time coming mostly because i'm lazy and only now had some free time to sit down and delve into so many sources to find quotes and proof for the main claim of this post: Mr Lancelot du Lac is an autistic man. Hes also trans and gay and i have proof for both of those (one is literally not even subtext) but those are for different essays. 

Anyways to start off with some smaller bits I wanna at least mention the history connecting autistic people with changelings or fae. The idea of a normal seeming child being “replaced” by something not entirely human to explain neurological differences has been around for a while and can tie in with a lot of autistic people's feelings of being different or completely disconnected from those around them. Thematically all of this ties in with Lancelot’s narrative of being “stolen away” by a fae as a child and coming back different. He grew up in a realm of fairies, and Chrétien de Troyes in Knight of the Cart, which may be the first story about Lancelot, simply calls his mother who in later texts grows to be the Lady of the Lake, “a fairy.” Another smaller point is Lancelot tends to go nonverbal when he gets extremely upset which is neat! One bit i can’t get a quote for (vulgate pdf when) is after Galehaut’s death, he locks up completely and his mother, the Lady, who is wonderful and perfect, explains the situation for him. You could also look at all the times Lancelot runs off into the woods and refuses to speak for a while for more proof of that. He does this a lot. It's just a thing people expect from him.

Anyways, I wanna talk about Lancelot’s inability to comprehend emotions or communication in general. Please, I've been dying to talk about Lancelot’s issues with communication for days. God he has them and I can relate so hard. Covering the dutch prose first just look at the story of the hart with the white foot. A lady comes to court talking about how whatever knight will get the foot of his hart will get her hand in marriage. Lancelot actually ends up missing the lady speak about what will happen, and after hearing Kay fail to do it, declares hell go after this hart instead. "When he heard this account / he spoke impetuously: / "By my faith, I fully intend / to follow this little dog.” He doesn’t think it though, he doesn't really know what he's getting into, Lancelot is just a yes man who likes doing knightly deeds. He has to in the end be rescued twice by Gawain, one from his fucking up while hunting the hart, and the other by accidently leading a lady on thinking that he’ll marry her, something Gawain negotiates Lancelot out of. Moving onto not the dutch prose since i just spent 3 hours reading up on it, let's move onto le morte.

Malory pulls a lot from the french sources, and i'll talk about what he left out in a sec cus . god. But I mostly want to touch on his relationship with two of the people he’s closest to, those being Guenevere and Gawain. Guenevere is a very weird case considering her literal emotional manipulation of him in moments he is very vulnerable and just how not great she is to him in general but his take on their relationship is honestly pretty easy to pin down. Lancelot honestly idolizes Guenevere, as his queen, as his lady, as a person who showed him basic respect when he first came to court. He has the mindset that a knight should love and do anything for his lady, and after Guenevere knights him really without any thought to what she was doing, he decided he would do anything for her. The vulgate does a better job dealing with their relationship through the mediator figure of Galehaut who is a whole other bag of worms, but Guenevere mostly indulges him for the fun of it. She sees that he’s a young knight who’s willing to die for her and uses this to her advantage politically and for other reasons. This constantly goes over Lancelot's head, until towards the end of le morte where he finally realizes how much he suffers for this relationship while she doesn't even care, “This is not the first time, said Sir Launcelot, that ye had been displeased with me causeless, but, madam, ever I must suffer you, but what sorrow I endure I take no force.” He resigns himself to put up with a relationship he admits is actively hurting him because he believes it’s love, and as a good knight, he should love his lady. His relationship with Gawain is less dicey, and more him constantly not getting Gawain’s implications. He admits to his love of Gawain only during their war saying in the vulgate, “But he will never be able to hate me so much that I stop loving him." Like. bold of him to just ignore all of Gawains previous advances until theyre in a life or death war. Bro accept your homoerotic rivals and move on already. 

Another casualty from Lancelot not realizing emotional connotations until too late is Galehaut, who literally dies of longing over the knight. Like Elaine of Astolat but worse because Galehauts just genuinely one of the best people in Arthurian literature. He doesn’t realize until too late that the person who actually loves him is the one willing to do anything for him, and ends up almost killing himself over Galehauts death. I have too much to say on that and it's not relevant to anything in this essay but god know i yearn over them all the time. 

Other thing is Lancelot has a lot of struggle with mental health anyways,  he really just truly is traumatized and that’s kinda fucked. He has a lot of problems with depression and poor coping mechanisms. I mean his main coping mechanism is falling asleep instead of dealing with the issues. That's not completely on topic but it's a big mood and ties in vaguely and also i don't have any other way to end this. There are way more bits to add but i am falling asleep at my desk and need to get lunch before it gets too late. Anyways this is probably not great i wrote this in 4 hours directly after waking up at 12 and spent 2 of those hours reading literary essays on the dutch romances. GOOD NIGHT . 

[lucrezianoin]

Galehaut calls Elaine and Guinevere, mainly Elaine, out on their treatment of Lancelot

Galehaut shuts the door, gently, rage making him tremble but still under control. He knows he has to be careful, his loyalty is begrudgingly owned by Arthur so he will do all he can to protect his kingdom. It is what Lancelot wants from him.

Guinevere and Elaine are yelling at each others, accusations flying, careless of the door that has been open till a moment before. They are not thinking of people who might hear them, and Galehaut feels even angrier.

“You should be more careful,” he tries, because the last thing he wants or need is for gossip about Lancelot and the queen to start again.

“You are taking the side of this woman?” Guinevere demands, standing tall and proud, pointing at the lady from Corbenic with fury. “This woman who comes here with her child, perfectly knowing Lancelot desires nothing from her.”

“And you?” Elaine shouts. She is small, smaller than Guinevere, only standing up to her shoulder, but she looks as angry as the queen. “You keep him trapped with your love, instead of letting him have a life and a wife.”

“And you would be the wife? Don’t make me laugh,” Guinevere snarks.

“Enough!” Galahad exclaims, rising his voice for the first time.

The two women turn to look at him, both surprised. People say he is the son of giants, and here he stands taller than these two ladies.

“I want you to stop. Queen Guinevere,” he starts, and he is surprised to see that she is waiting for him to continue. “You have toyed with Lancelot and accused him of being disloyal, when you perfectly know he would die for you. You want to see him promising you over and over again that he loves you. That is just cruel, and not befitting of a queen.”

Elaine’s thin lips turn into a smirk, so Galehaut is quick to turn to her as well. “And you. You have hurt Lancelot more than anyone. You have taken something from him-” he stops, Elaine is shaking now, probably in anger. “Leave now, I do not want to see you here, ever again. And you should better remember, for the sake of both your countries and kingdoms, that my loyalty does not reside in Arthur. Lancelot is why I am here, so be careful of the way you care for him.”

[pellicano-sanguino]

Read this lesbian retelling of romance between Guinevere and Lancelot. It’s ok. Wish I could have liked it more, but due to some personal preferences I found it a bit underwhelming.

I like Arthurian legends and chivalric romances, and I like the story of Guinevere and Lancelot. Yes, I’m very much aware most people think it’s a story done to death and Lancelot is considered a boring Mary Sue. I make no attempt to hide the fact that the 2011 Takarazuka musical about the subject is like 98% of the reason I like the story. 

I can’t read about Lasse and not picture Makaze Suzuho in a silvery leather overalls armor.

The story is being told in first perspective, from Lasse’s point of view (now my nickname for Lancelot is truly fitting, because in this story she is a lass, heh heh). This is just a personal preference, but I don’t like this style. I prefer to see the story objectively, now Lasse passes her own judgment and opinion on everything and I can’t help but feel that it’s limiting. Also, damn does Lasse self monologue in a weird, cryptic manner. I know Arthurian myths aren’t known as stories grounded in reality and I know poetic language is to be expected. But sometimes Lasse’s thought process is hard to follow and she just says plain weird things. I get flashbacks to Rose of Versailles and Andre spewing out some nonsense about his love becoming a fossil encased in amber.

I do wonder if the writer is into Wicca or paganism, because there’s some pretty heavy anti-christian pro-paganism messages in the book. Lasse holds great respect for the old religion and one of the reasons she doesn’t like Arthur is because he is a Christian king. Which, for storytelling purposes, is understandable. The way Christianity wiped out the pagan religions of Europe by swordpoint (convert or have your head cut off) is a tragedy that isn’t often talked about (because there are other, more violent examples of forcibly spreading Christianity that tend to get the spotlight more). Of course Lasse, who was raised by Lady of Lake, a creature of old myths, would resent having this new religion replace all the ancient wisdoms she’d been taught and seeing the new faith shamelessly slap their holidays over the pagan festivals. 

The clash of these religions is an interesting part of world building. But Lasse’s view of the old religion as something sacred and flawless and perfect is naive and childish. It’s like reading the thoughts of someone who was brainwashed by a cult at a young age and so is incapable of finding faults in the doctrine or criticizing anything related to the practices. Pagan religions could (and often would) be used as a tool of power and be rooted in the same harmful ideas as Christianity. For a woman, it makes no difference if the one commanding her to “know her natural place” was a patriarchal male God or a sacred pagan Goddess, her freedom to choose for herself is still being taken away by a religion who wishes to control her. 

Lasse is secretly being raised as a boy, Rose of Versailles style. This means that once she is maturing, she must go through “an initiation ritual” meant for boys. This ritual? A fucking date rape. They make her drink some sort of drug or love potion and then provide a woman for her to sleep with so she can “become a man.” Once Lasse sobers up, she feels awful about what happened. And yet, even in this moment, realizing that she was drugged and made to have sex she didn’t want, she will not question the old religion. She will not criticize this disgusting practice, believing that though unpleasant, it must have been necessary for her to become adult. Yeah no, I’m sorry, but whenever religions start including sex in their rituals and pressure people into participating, a siren starts wailing in my head CUUUUUUUULLLLTTT! IT’S A FUCKING SEX CULT! GET THE MINORS OUT NOW!

I was happy, that the drugged rape doesn’t get described in detail. Sex is never described in detail in this book. In a way, I can see a scene where Lasse gets drugged to have sex could be a nod to the begetting of Galahad (which obviously won’t be happening in this version of the story). But still, I would have greatly appreciated if there hadn’t been a rape scene at all. The only kind of sex scenes I want in my books are the Sober and Enthusiastic Consent ones.

I once saw someone make a post that Lancelot and Gawain are the Arthurian version of Team Edward/Team Jacob. I must say, there’s a seed of truth in here. When you have a story where Gawain is the best knight and main character, Lasse tends to be painted as a selfish adulterous asshole who ruins everything, and when you have a story where Lasse is the leading role and painted as super virtuous, Gawain tends to gear up his negative traits. It’s like you can’t have both of them be likable at the same time. In this book, Gawain (and a whole bunch of other knights) get the asshole makeover treatment. Well, Gawain and Lasse do end up becoming friends but Gawain doesn’t stop being a jerkface and doesn’t really deserve Lasse’s friendship (If someone called my mother a whore, I would simply not forgive and befriend them. Rip to Lasse, but I actually care about my mother more than I do about some entitled dudebro.). I find this kind of writing a little lazy, making other characters pointlessly rude just so the main character looks better in comparison.

Ok, I’ve talked about the parts I didn’t like. Here’s some things I liked.

The book is illustrated. The art isn’t particularly fancy, but I liked it. I wish more books had illustrations, not just the books for kids.

The relationship between Lasse and Guinevere begins in their childhood, before Gwen is married to Arthur. I prefer love stories that give the characters a long period of time to develop their feelings for each other (as opposed to stories of them falling in love overnight Romeo&Juliet style). Also, it reminded me of the zuka musical.

Another thing I liked is that the relationship between Gwen and Lasse isn’t adulterous. They are very much in love with each other, but they won’t have sex. I would have forgiven them if they did, since Gwen didn’t have any say in her marriage and so it turned out a loveless political marriage. It’s a whole different thing to romanticize cheating and to understand that women in forced marriages had no other choice but to seek love of someone who loved her as a person, not as a moneybag. But Lasse and Gwen are virtuous, so they are above such thinking. When she married Arthur, Gwen made a promise to be faithful to him, and despite not loving him, she will not break this promise. Well, not until Arthur divorces her in favor of the False Guinevere.

Which brings me to the thing I probably liked the most - Gwen has an evil twin. And no, this isn’t the writer slapping some modern trope over a classic tale, this is a genuine legend. There are stories where Guinevere has a sister who seeks to replace her. Seeing a lesser known legend get adapted brought a smile to my face. We can tell a story of Gwen and Lasse without using the same old stories of Grail quest and abduction of Guinevere. It was fascinating. 

Once the False Guinevere has convinced Arthur that she is the real queen, Gwen is cast out (well, after Lasse has to fight for her honour to save her from death penalty). Lasse and Gwen travel to Galehaut’s place (a friend of Lasse’s) and there, freed from her promise, Gwen finally has sex with Lasse. And only now, very close to the end of the book, is it revealed that Lasse is actually a woman. Saving this plot twist to so near the end feels a bit unnecessary, because I’m pretty sure 9 out of 10 people who buy this book already know about it and, much like me, bought the book exactly because of it. I can’t really imagine there being very many who managed to get to the end and actually be surprised.

The book kinda has a happy ending, but that’s partly because it ends before shit hits the fan re: Mordred. Mordred is in the book, but he’s only discussed about, never seen. There’s plenty of hints and foreshadowing that Arthur’s reign will come to a violent end some day. But the book leaves that to our imagination.

This is a decent book. If you’re into women and chivalric romance, go for it. But if you prefer a love story with more overtly sensual take on the intimate scenes, you might be happier with some other book, this one is very chaste. Also, you have to be willing to only see the story from Lasse’s perspective, and you have to be ok with Gawain being a prick. But all in all, it’s not a bad read. 

[projectsoleil]

Sometimes you need more than... || Trial 2.3 || Galehaut || Re: Fenrir, Jackpot

Gale once again punches the podium. Poor podium. It has definitely seen better days. 

First, he directs his words at Jackpot. 

"What the fuck do you know about whether I care or not? "

Suddenly his tone is much less shouty and much more serious. Maybe a bit somber.

"Big part of being a hero is caring even when you don't have to. Even when you shouldn't. Even when you don't really want to.  Why the fuck do you think I've been a hero for this fucking long?  It's because I care for other people. And don't you dare imply otherwise."

He sighs and then turns his attention to Fenrir. First he looks like he's about to shout - and he really is going to - but then his annoyance turns to laughter. 

"You have the guts, kid! I will give you as much! But you of all people should know what happens if you just try to go on a rampage against the bots! Unlike you, I know there's a difference between bravery and stupidity. Whatever I do I do my way, and in order be useful to everyone here, my first course of action won't be to bleed out." "I think before I do. And that's what I'm doing. But to just let those know who are better than me at that - thinking and planning, that is - know that I will help you in your endeavours. All you need to do is ask. " 

[tillman]

Pls infodump about lancelot from what i observe almost everyone hates him? (Ok its understandable bec of his affair with queen) im curious why do you like lancelot? And i remember a few days ago you post that there so many things you want to talk about him? And i want to see you rant/gush about his character, relationships, mental illness, his flaws etc ans also what is the difference between fate lancelot and lancelot in the legends? I want to know more about him he is complicated

OK its not that everyone hates him its that people hate what he stands for. the french side of arthurian lit is VERY focused on making lancelot seem like the greatest knight in the entire world because…. wow… hes french. and french people suck. stop normalizing the french. i like lancelot because of what he COULD stand for. theres a lot of things that could be delved into more (his mental illnesses, his communication issues, his inability to comprehend love, the struggle with being unholy or wrong, ect) but no one ever does. so i stole him hes mine now fuck the french they did him dirty.

uhm ok this is under a cut for talks of kinda heavy topics (lots of mental health talk, lots of abuse talk) and also cus its long. sorry i have a lot to say about him) 

i like lancelot a lot cus i see myself a lot in him. mostly in his mental health and how he ends up dealing with situations. his struggle with violent mood swings and his huge burden of being labeled as a sinner or whatever for a relationship he admits to feeling trapped in is…. relateable… comforting to see in a fictional character i guess. as flawed as he is hes still heralded as a good person. hes still loved by his friends and his family. and thats nice.. i like it. 

uhm for his mental health the main thing that comes out is his struggles with trauma, awful depression, and also just the fact he dissociates a lot. in knight of the cart he is so out of it he doesnt realize a knight is attacking him until hes thrown into the water in which he reacts violently and freaks the fuck out, trying to rip the guy off his horse. he like. physically can not handle extreme emotions and will either fall asleep so he doesnt have to face it (le morte says this is a known quality of him, he does this enough dinadan expects it as soon as he gets mad) or he swings so hard he has an extreme bout of depression (in the vulgate when trying to comprehend his relationship with guenevere and galehaut he just shuts down and spends all his time sleeping or staring at the river) or awful mania (see: the many times guenevere freaks out at him and he gets so upset he jumps out a window and lives in the woods). Lancelot has a lot of unworked out trauma from being r*** twice by the same woman who continues to use him and freak him out so much he cant find camelot safe (triggering another huge spike where he runs off into the woods) or the literal entire end of the legends where he has to deal with the trauma of while having one of his dissociative episodes in combat he accidentally kills gareth, someone he loves and adores like a brother or son and gets so upset he just accepts everything happening and hides in joyous gard, where his cousins have to BEG him to go and defend his honor from gawain whos basically knocking on his door pleading with lancelot to kill him. 

lancelots inability to understand a lot of social nuances is also really interesting but like, ultimately leads to a lot of strife for him most namely galehauts death and gueneveres constant abuse. The thing is Lancelot basically idolizes guenevere and this is where a lot of the abuse and weird shit comes from in their relationship. lancelot was a very young knight who honestly didnt understand anything about BEING a knight when he came to court. the queen knighted him and him, being young and not understanding, took this as “i am her knight! i will do anything for her!” and guenevere just kinda ran with this? i dont rlly wanna go too into it ill do that later when i get farther in the vulgate and can talk more on it but it leads to lancelot being trapped in a relationship he admit hurts him, but the small sliver of love guenevere gives him when she needs him is enough to keep him in because his mindset is still “im her knight! this is what a knight should do for his lady!” Galehaut is a different situation where his blindness to social cues and other shit leads to a lot of drama and hellish shit and when he finally snaps and realizes “oh. oh no this is what love should be” its too late and galehaut is dead and lancelot isnt much better. his own mother has to come and convince him not to literally kill himself over this and sends him into a spiral of depression where he doesnt leave the joyous gard for months. when he does and when he comes back to court, no one really … cares? that galehaut is dead. and this is lancelots first experience with actual love and his first experience with the death of someone close to him. which is an awful double whammy to have to experience. he does have good friends like gawain and dinadan and tristan and his relationship with galahad is good but they all end up dead or turned against him by something thats he did and its just. god its so sad to watch. the only people lancelot is left with in the end are his cousins, and even at the end of all of that hes left alone with the corpses of people he thought he loved. 

like hes a very flawed man. lancelot is a problem causer and not a problem solver. he doesnt try to he really doesnt, he strives to be the perfect knight mostly for some sliver of appreciation from someone he idolizes he never really ends up getting. he doesnt know how to cope, and ends up making things worse when he inevitably ends up screwing shit up because of this. hes called a sinner and unholy by god, and while he is very proud of his son for what he ends up achieving, has to deal with the trauma of the grail quest alone. he ends up killing someone he loves, and who genuinely respected and cared for him like a brother in a fit of him not being able to deal with heavy emotions. like he truly is in the wrong in most situations but like. in such a pitiable way. hes a good person, but lets his flaws overtake him a lot and pushes away the people who want the best for him. its like…. sad. 

(about to talk about fate u can drop off now if u just wanted to read my arthurian lit opinions :-) )

i could go off about fate lancelot and all the problems i have with him for hours but i think the main thing i wanna talk about rn is how they handle his internalization of his life and then just did nothing with it. his wish for the grail is just to be told he was wrong. thats so fucking GOOD!! in life he was heralded as the best knight like of course his one regret was that no one ever stopped him and went “you are wrong. this is wrong. you are doing the wrong thing.” and that being all he wants out of the thing that can grant any wishes is soooooo soo cool and neat. and then they just reduced his personality to “oh boo hoo im so sad im going to fuck a married woman now” like. the fucking dissonance. like lancelot isnt the type for random flings. tristan sure i understand that a bit hes unhinged and hard to characterize and .. honestly does just go around fucking married woman. weirdo. but lancelots entire struggle is over his relationship with guenevere being both wrong morally and literally abusive! i jsut dont get it i dont understand how they built up something so interesting with zero and threw it all out the window it makes me so mad. i dont even wanna talk about fate lancelot anymore rn its giving me a headache cus im so mad. 

[projectsoleil]

shut me up || maxwell || trial 1.4 || re: vega, galehaut, vote reactions

Okay, yeah, so Love Struck did it. She’d admitted as much a hot minute ago, so why the fuck was everyone still losing their shit over it like it was big news? Maxwell sure as hell didn’t get it - all the anger and the screaming and the holier-than-thou attitudes - and she didn’t really care to, either. But, considering how no one could seem to shut up, she didn’t have much of a choice. Which is… unfortunate for her already shitty mood, because if she hated anything as much as fucked up villains, it was heros who think they’re hot shit because they’re just sooooo righteous, they could never hurt anyone! She respected real heroes, sure, but the list of who she actually considered a real hero feels like it shrinks every day.

At least Firefly’s right next to her, because her obnoxiously loud guitar riffing makes it a whole lot harder to pick up on the bullshit everyone else is spouting. After she’s said her part, Maxwell lets out an exasperated groan, stretching out her arms and resting her hands behind her head.

“Jesus christ, you people’re like a fuckin’ echo chamber. Give my ears a rest, goddamn.”

Sigh. This is exactly why she’s a vigilante, not a hero.

“What the fuck ever, Pinky did some stupid shit and you all hate her now. We fucking get it, since none of you can fucking shut up about if. Get over yourselves. Like not a single one of you’d’ve pulled the same shit once you got what you wanted out of Call Boy. Acting like you’re all better than her… it’s bullshit. Pissing me the hell off.”

Granted, Maxwell thinks she’s better than pretty much everyone here, but that’s more of a ‘she has way too much confidence for who she is’ sort of thing. … Well, and a moral one, too, but her morals stray very far from most everyone else’s, or so it would seem, so it’s still working out pretty okay for her.

“And, hey, Mini, Oldhead, you wanna let yourselves get all fucked up by the bitchbots ‘cause you think you’re too good to vote for Pinky? Be my fuckin’ guest. Your brains’re fucking empty if you seriously think those motherfuckers don’t have some shit lined up in case we vote wrong. Dunno ‘bout you, but I’d way rather keep myself outta that. And, for that matter, I’d rather keep the people who did fuckall out of it, too, assuming they’re gonna hurt or kill somebody else in place of the killer. I mean, how fucking stupid can you get?"

For a moment, it seems like she's done. She pauses, sighs, stretches again. But... then a horrible, shit-eating grin finds its way onto her face, and her eyes meet Vega's before doing the same to Galehaut. 

Letting someone innocent die just because you feel like you’re too high n’ mighty to vote for the real culprit… that shit’s downright villainous.”

[projectsoleil]

Old man yells at wannabe hero || Galehaut || Trial 1.1 || Re: Fenrir, Ivo, Vega, a lot of people basically || Attn: Lovestruck

Galehaut has been quiet the whole time, just letting others speak, which was rather uncharacteristic for him. Honestly, it’s mostly because the whole situation is so tiresome. It’s like a kindergarten full of troubled kids had a weird baby with a circus and an Agatha Christie novel, and that is enough to stop him from wanting to talk. When Red tries to throw popcorn at him, it burns to cinders as he turns to look at her. 

Aside from this, Gale mostly grunts annoyedly or nods in agreement with others, observing everyone’s reactions, emotions and ways of speech. He is content with letting others talk this out and interject if he has something important to say, but up until this point, nothing much has come up, and he rather just feel his way around the atmosphere of the room, no matter how rancid. It was easier than trying to interject on the bread and date talk. 

Even Lovestruck’s confession didn’t seem to elicit more than a heavy huff from him - albeit he was surprised, this clearly isn’t his first time in a situation where he simply wants to observe.

But at Lovestruck claiming to wanting to be a hero after confessing to murder… That’s when he finally boils over. Congratulations, everyone! This is the most patient he has ever been with any situation, ever!! After Lovestruck speaks, Galehaut PUNCHES the podium (it’s a podium, right?) he is behind, splintering it a bit. 

“ A HERO? YOU DARE CALL YOURSELF A HERO FOR THAT? Are you fucking stupid, you hair for brains? “

 He has literally no sympathies for her. Sauna starts to cook up around him. Sorry, Angel and Red! And fuck you sincerely, Galehaut.

“A HERO WOULD NOT MURDER LIKE THAT! A HERO WOULD NOT DARE PRESUME THEY COULD DECIDE ON A LIFE LIKE THAT! YOU DO NOT BELONG WITH US, YOU BELONG WITH THEM! IF YOU WANTED TO BE A HERO, BETTER HAD DONE IT BEFORE YOU ENDED UP IN THIS HELLHOLE!” 

After he calms down a bit from his yelling, it’s easier for Galehaut to breathe again. The sauna-like conditions around him become more bearable, but he literally breaths out steam as he speaks.

“So.. Hrmmph..  Facts.. Even if you didn’t do this all on your own, it feels clear you did at least parts of it at your own discretion. You can only blame yourself for getting into this situation."

"I hate to agree with shark-tooth there, but did you, at any point, stop to consider why these bots gave us the incentive to kill Collin? Why him, specifically? Most likely because he can fucking heal! I didn’t really like the guy, but there is a good chance that he did not know entirely what his “help” was used for. If someone made a whole circus like this, I bet they didn’t bother to tell the details to those they asked for help… Which could explain why he didn’t know what those things downstairs were, and why he has been helping with healing us. “

He huffs. Might as well continue speaking now that he had started. 

“As for other evidence.. I did see Ivo yesterday at around 6:30 pm. I had been watching.. A documentary… with Firefly.. And they were making damn racket! Vega, that is. She was skating on the floor. I opened the door and told them what for, and Ivo apologized. Not sure why he was skulking there. If someone was in this mess and helped.. Aiko, it could’ve been him. He would’ve known Cell’s powers and weakness, and maybe even that he helped whoever is behind all this. ” “That’s what brings me to another point. Why did you not hide the pills, Lovestr.. Aiko? Why did you not throw them out of the window? Or flush them down the toilet? Or do literally anything with them.. Did you want them to be found?” 

Now that he starts to talk, there is no stopping him!

“As for the accomplice and note left with the pills.. Has to be someone here, or maybe the bots could’ve given it, at least. That much is obvious. It didn’t just appear out of nowhere… wait.. “

A shock of realisation dawns upon his face as he thinks back on what Aiko had said.

“Wait.. "That Cell helped the people behind this?" People, plural? That would mean there’s several people working on whatever the fuck.. All this is! ”