#i wanna run a second poll now that's just ''what should the ship name for this be''
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Clarification Note: This poll features Bianca, not Nico.
*Shares name with Solangelo (Nico di Angelo x Will Solace) due to di Angelo siblings sharing a surname
#riordanverse#pjo#pjato#will solace#bianca di angelo#shipping polls#non-canon ships#i started laughing way too much over this submission cause. just. SOLANGELO....*TWO!*#solanca#solangelo#< i know im swinging at a wasp's nest doing that but this is just too funny to me#it was submitted without a ship name but given Nico we can pretty safely presume solangelo is the most likely option which is HILARIOUS#im just taking a wild guess with solanca cause thats the only other ship name i can fathom thats not solangelo besides idk. Bill? Biancill?#Edit: somebody else has suggested Wianca so i've added that#idk man. Solangelo 2 is just really funny to me though#i wanna run a second poll now that's just ''what should the ship name for this be''#anyways im not gonna tag this one crack-ship even though bianca dies before will is introduced#its like. borderline.
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Surprise! (Sapnap x Reader)
Request: “Sapnap X Reader where he surprises the reader while she’s streaming”
Words: 1.5k
“Hello chat how are your days going? Good, bad? Finals!? Oh my gosh I hate finals dude I’m so sorry f to pay respects,” you paused to stretch and adjust your headset as you had just started your stream. “I’m kinda just bored today chat so what should we do? Mods can you all run a poll or something?” You glanced at your discord and saw messages from Sap.
“Hey angel!”
“Oh you’re streaming!”
“You look cute on stream”
You rolled your eyes but chat caught you blushing and saw that Sapnap was viewing the stream, and immediately lost it. They’d been shipping the two of you for months, but little did they know you guys had been dating for three months, since you met up in person for the first time. It hadn’t felt like the right time to announce to the world and you’d wanted to establish your relationship privately before telling the fans, but that didn’t mean you’d had a couple slip ups leading the fans to theorize.
This included you calling Sapnap various forms of babe, bubs, Nick, love etc. Same went for Sap who gets teased for endlessly rushing to your defense on the SMP and responding casually when you call him a pet name, almost like he does it all the time... yeah, chat was on to the two of you.
“Shut up guys and tell me what we’re doing today! We could go grind netherite tools and chill? How does that sound?” the SMP always got a resounding yes, and just like that you were off, the SMP had won the poll anyways.
You messaged Sap in discord, “wanna call for the stream?” and quickly he was on the call with you.
“Hello Mr. Sapitus Napitus, how’s your day going on this fine Friday?” you laughed as you ran through the nether, having just collected enough wool and planks to make beds. “It’s going, I was bored as heck so I wound up here, what about you?” You knew the longer end to that story, his family was out and he thought editing would take longer but now he was stuck at home. “Same same, I’m chillin and got bored after scrolling on Tiktok for like two hours so now I’m here!” You moved on, blowing up the nether hunting for netherite scrap while talking with chat.
A familiar notification went off, “water check from, um ,GogySupremacy420,000, oh my god what a username. Alright everyone drink some water! This is good I haven’t drank water since like breakfast.” you heard Sap pipe up, “you’ve eaten since breakfast right?” you rolled your eyes, “nope I’ll eat after stream don’t worry Simpnap” tacking on the nickname earned a scoff from the simp himself. “Not a simp,” he answered, giving you a punch in the game making you hit him back. After a mini fight ending in you threatening to place a bed and effectively kill the both of you, you were back to mining.
“Hey I’ve gotta go drive and grab something want me to stay on call though?” your head whipped to discord to look for another message, knowing Sap didn’t have anywhere to be tonight. But there was nothing. “Oh I don’t mind, chat and I enjoy your company!” you said with a grin. You’d made it to enchanting now, having found all the netherite you needed.
As you sat on the spider spawner you heard Sap get in the car, the familiar beep of him unlocking his car and the revving of the engine making you laugh, “you’re car is literally so old I’m surprised it starts,” you heard Sapnap scoff, “old?! don’t you dare speak to her like that, she’s beautiful,” you rolled your eyes, Callahan who must’ve been on your stream quickly piped up in the game chat “Y/n is jealousss!” now it was your turn to be offended, “you think I’d be jealous of a bucket of rusty bolts and oil? No chance,” you laughed, checking chat as they were spamming JealousChamp. “Whatever you say ba- Y/n,” Sapnap played it off with a cough and you quickly changed the subject to how much XP you would need for all your tools.
“Hey I’ve gotta go on deafen real quick be back soon!” Sap’s voice flooded your mic, he must’ve brough the mic close to his mouth because his smooth and deep voice curled around the mic perfectly, sending shivers down your spine as his warm tone filled your headphones. “B-bye” you choked out, pretending to adjust your headset as you continued killing mobs. “So chat, got any questions to pass this alone time?” you watched the chat speed up, hoping your mods would filter out poor questions. “Favorite. color? Easy who knows? Yup! You guys know me too well. Ooh favorite fast food place? This is hard cuz I don’t wanna say something you all don’t know but I can tell you guys my McDonalds order because it’s immaculate. Do I know Sapnap’s order? This is a good test you guys, I’m pretty sure it’s like an ungodly amount of spicy McChickens and a Dr. Pepper but I swear he changes it like every day.” you laughed, reading out other people’s orders then moved to debating if the icecream machine is actually broken or if the workers are just lazy. They’re lazy, confirmed by workers in chat apparently.
“I’m back but I have to go in like five minutes, did you miss me?” Sap’s voice flooded your headphones again. As you adjusted his volume you teased, “hmm nope!” to which he began pouting making you laugh at his “baby rage”. Just as you were finishing with enchants on your axe he had to go. “Don’t miss me too much I’ll talk to you later, chat behave yourself I know you all will miss me but just leave y/n open in a muted tab,” he teased making you roll your eyes, “whatever we’re gonna have a super secret conversation after you’re gone about how we only let you on the stream out of pity right chat?” you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing through the teasing. “Okay okay, I actually gotta go, see you soon,” you bid Sapnap farewell and returned to joking with chat, turning on media share to pass some time as you reacted to animatics, hilarious compilations, and the occasional y/n x sapnap video making chat light up as you laughed through the videos.
As you watched the videos and killed cave spiders you got a text from Sapnap.
You still streaming?
Yup! Where’d you end up going? you replied.
Open your door and find out
Your breath hitched. “One- one minute chat,” you pulled your headset off and heard a small rustling in your hallway. As soon as you tabbed out of the game you stood up, rushing off camera to fling your door open and,
There he was. His smile was infectious and you couldn’t help yourself from screaming and running into his open arms. As he held you, rocking back and forth, you heard him mumbled. “I missed you” Into your ear while you clung to him. “I missed you more,” you whispered back, Finally, you released him enough to peck his lips, unable to wipe the grin from your face. “I got food cuz you said you didn’t eat and I figured if I had time I wanted to spend it with you!” your heart practically melted, taking a bag of food in one hand and holding Sapnap’s hand with your other you realized you forgot to mute or end stream.
“Um, so I’m still streaming... what do we do?” you glanced up nervously but Sapnap just started laughing, “oh my god I guess I can say hi so chat doesn’t lose it’s mind,” you swallowed nervously, glancing down at your phone you had been tagged in endless clips of you running off camera then screaming about 15 seconds later. “Yeah better give them an answer,” you giggled.
Rushing back to your setup you saw chat blowing up as you put your headset back on. “Heyyy guys! So yeah, um I guess I can just show you that, we have a special guest!” You gestured to Sapnap to come into frame, pulling up a chair as he sat down next to you. “Yeah I gave y/n a visit cuz I was bored. Hi chat, hello, hello! You guys are going really fast dang,” Sapnap gripped your hand under the table, you squeezed back, leaning into his embrace. “So um, I think Sap and I are gonna hangout, right?” you glanced at him and he nodded, he really hadn’t stopped smiling since he got to your place. “Yup! Maybe if there’s time we’ll go live again I’m not sure! Kinda spur of the moment yeah?” you finished your thought. Saying goodbye to chat you ended stream just a few minutes later.
“We’ve really gotta tell people soon, I wanna be able to hold your hand on camera not just off,” Sapnap said between bites of food. “Yeah, I think it’ll be okay right?” You had always been nervous about stans hating you or people trying to get in between your relationship. “As long as I’ve got you I’m more than fine, I’m- I don’t know I guess I’m pogchamp,” you shook your head, “god you are such a dork,” Sapnap scrunched his nose with a laugh, “I’m your dork though so I’m so special!” and you couldn’t agree more. <3
#sapnap#sapnap x reader#dream team x reader#dream team fanfic#sapnap fanfic#mcyter fanfic#dteam fanfic#sapnap cute#sapnap x you#dream x reader#georgenotfound x reader
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I posted two polls yesterday, asking who is your favorite potential love interest for Dean besides Cas and vice versa. I’ve tallied the votes for both polls and reblogged them with the results and some commentary but I thought it’d be nice to gather them in one post, plus some extra thoughts from me below the cut.
Potential love interests for Dean:
Benny (116). And yes, correct.
Cassie (77). Also correct. A few of you pointed out that Dean should have gone to her in season six instead of Lisa and are you wrong?
Victor (34). Tbh I wasn’t expecting Victor in the top three but I am very happy with all of you!
No one (28). Very Cas coded of you, very sexy.
Crowley (25). This is the one I feel like the character in question would be the most upset about. Only number 5??
Bela (13). I’d also like to interject that demon!Dean/demon!Bela should have happened.
Lee (8). Good for him, I guess.
Jo (5). I don’t know if I’m surprised by Jo’s ranking or not.
Donna (4). This one had a lot of support when her first episode aired, if I remember correctly.
Tessa (3). Good for her, I guess.
The rest got either one or two votes. With two we’ve got: Aaron (surprised he didn’t get more), Anna, Ash, Cain (very disappointed he didn’t get more), Deacon, Garth, Ketch (uhhh), Rhonda Hurley.
One vote: Balthazar, Daphne (lowkey feel like the two people who picked them read the question wrong), Donnie, Lisa (I also don’t know whether to be surprised by this ranking or not. On the one hand she’s Dean’s longest running textual love interest. On the other, they kinda forgot to give her a personality beyond ‘love interest’ and ‘mother’), Lydia (????), Me (lmao), Michael, Mick (also ???), Robin, Ronald (ngl I had to look him up), Sam (😶), Sarah Blake (this voter did admit they might be projecting) The Impala if it turned into a guy (this one might have the most canon support), That one hot desk officer from season 1 you know the one I mean (I don’t).
Potential love interests for Cas:
No one (33). I was expecting this option to be high up but not number one! Quite a few people specified he should be a single parent but what I really appreciate are the few of you who wrote dissertations in the tags on why this makes sense for Cas’ character.
Meg (26). Correct and very sexy.
Mick (25). I’ve seen like one episode with Mick so idgi but good for him!
Balthazar (6). Thought he’d get way more votes?? Idk might be my bias speaking.
Sam (6). Love the one of you who specified that Cas should not like him back.
Luca (4). Okay so there is a canon character named Luca who is a priest but I’m pretty sure y’all mean the Luca from In the Shadow of your Wings by ao3 user Enochian Things, who is also a priest (esp since a couple of you did say he’s not a canon character) and who actually meets Cas.
Benny (3). It should be noted that two out of three of you wanted to include Dean in this ship.
Crowley (3). Just as with Dean’s list, he’d be very insulted by placing so low.
Hannah (3). Hannah got three votes, two specifying in a male vessel and one just specifying “trans”.
Kelly (3). Makes sense, as she is the mother of his child and they have a friendly relationship. Also makes sense this didn’t get more votes since they have no chemistry and she is a republican.
These all got two votes: Djinn queen, Me, Pastor Sexy.
And now, a special category of those with one vote from people I’m pretty sure read the question wrong: Cassie, Lisa, Ash, Victor.
Another special category of Dean alternates who got one vote but don’t count because they’re still Dean: AU Dean, Amnesia Dean, Dean Smith.
And the rest all got one vote: Dabb-era OC, Hypothetical guy from centuries ago (from one of those times Cas’ mind got wiped), Jesus Christ (asdjifsdkl), Miguel from The Love Story of the Runner-Up by ao3 user Margo_Kim, Sergei (???), That angel dude who wanted him for his hands (okay who and what episode).
Okay so what jumped out to me immediately was “no one” topping Cas’ list (it placed pretty high on Dean’s list but Benny, Cassie and Victor still beat that option handily).
A lot of people straight up did not like the thought of Cas with someone else (very Dean coded of them) but a lot of others just couldn’t picture it. Which I think can be attributed to none of Cas’ relationships with others being all that developed on the show, besides with Jack which is obviously not romantic. Tbh there aren’t a lot of deeply developed relationships on Supernatural that don’t include Sam or Dean (and lbr, mostly Dean).
People were also explaining their choices a lot more in the Cas poll. Idk what that means but I just thought it was interesting. There also wasn’t a consensus on Cas’ sexuality; while Meg and other female characters got votes a lot of other voters said they see him as gay and can’t picture him with a woman.
Most delightfully surprising result: Cassie taking second place! Honestly, it’s what she deserves. And Victor in third! The taste!
Most expected result: Benny winning the Dean poll in a landslide.
Most surprising low placement: Balthazar only getting six votes in Cas’ poll. I thought this ship was more popular but that’s probably my bias speaking since I happen to like it.
Funniest vote: Those three of you who wanna shoot your shot with Dean/Cas. Go for it, I’m rooting for you!
Favorite specification on a vote: “Meg in a deeply lavender marriage way”
#spn#dean#cas#long post#results are probably skewed by the polls receiving a very different number of votes#but whatever this was just in good fun
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Miraculous Singers AU Chapter 3
Live Stream
Marinette's POV
"S-so...you like Ladybug?" I ask as Alya puts her sweatshirt in her backpack. Instead of her old red sweatshirt, she is now sporting a red ladybug shirt. MY MERCH!
"Are you kidding? Only with all of my heart and soul." I can feel my face getting red, but I try to act cool. "I've been watching her since her first video."
Now I know my face is red, my first video? That is the most embarrassing thing ever put on the internet. I have no clue what I was thinking back then. I take a deep breath and pretend I'm not at all embarrassed. "Yeah? I heard that was a pretty bad video."
"Are you kidding me? It's the funniest thing ever!" Alya laughs out loud. "Are you a fan of her?"
Just before I can answer, the teacher walks in "Okay class! Welcome back to school. I will take roll before we start." The teacher picks up a piece of paper from her desk "Adrian?"
The blonde boy doesn't say anything. Nino leans over and mumbles something to him. He then stands up and yells "PRESENT!" The whole class laughs. I'm less amused, though. It just seems like what annoying people do to get attention.
The teacher looks up sympathetically then says, "Chloe," Chloe responds with her "present". The teacher goes down the list until she has marked everyone as here.
The teacher starts her lesson. The class went smoothly. Blonde didn't speak once. Hopefully, he's like that all year. I might actually learn something, then.
School ends. Luckily Adrian didn't talk once out of turn. Hopefully, he's like that for the rest of the year. In fact, if he could just quietly transfer out of this school that would be great. My luck begins to spiral downward, though, when Nino pushes Blondie over to me. He opens his mouth to speak, but I quickly turn around and walk away. Anything he's going to say is bound to be something like Chloe says.
You're ugly Marinette.
With a face like that, you'll never meet a good man.
No one would ever want to be your friend, Marinette.
You're nobody, Marinette.
"Hey!" Alya yells at me pulling me out of my thoughts. "Do you ever pay attention to the real world?" Alya laughs. I laugh along with her.
"So...do you wanna maybe...hang out?" I ask suddenly.
"Girl, I wish I could. Ladybug is having a live stream and I've gotta live tweet everything and post highlights on my blog." Alya pulls out her phone which has a red and black case on it mimicking a ladybug. She smiles widely.
I completely forgot about the live stream! "We'll...enjoy the live stream I guess? I've gotta run." I wave to my new friend and walk away. Alya waves back.
The summer breeze hits my face as I walk to the bakery. I walk straight up to my room when I walk into the bakery. The strong scent of freshly baked croissants hits my face as I climb the stairs.
I throw my backpack on the floor and let myself fall onto my made bed. I have about ten minutes until the live stream starts. All I want to do is lay here for ten minutes, but I know I have to get ready. I can't be in my school clothes, people at my school would find out.
I drag myself out of bed and I walk to my closet. I open it and push my school clothes out of the way. The back of the closet, where I used to put the clothes I never wore, is now filled with red clothes. I choose a red tank top with black shorts.
I put the new clothes on and throw my school clothes in my hamper. I move a couple steps and take a key out of my drawer. The key opens a small box. The first thing is my diary. I pick that up and open a small pocket in the book, which contains another key. I toss the small pink book to the side and open the small compartment on the bottom of the small box. The small compartment contains....another compartment?
No, it's my mask. I pull it out then put all the other parts back in the box, and the first key back in its hiding spot. I put the mask on my forehead and start setting up my camera. When I am satisfied with my camera angles and lights I pull out my phone to tweet.
Live stream starting in a few minutes!
After only a few seconds of posting the tweet, it has a few thousand likes. I close my phone and sit down. Right before I press the button to start the live stream, I pull down my mask and fix my hair a bit more. Then I press start.
"Hey, guys!" I cheer right as I press the button. A few hundred people showing up right at the start. I can't help but think that my new friend is probably one of those people. "Let me tweet the link real quick" I mumble taking my phone out of my pocket again and quickly tweeting.
After I tweet the link, another few hundred people join. "Now...I have no idea what to do today so...I'm just gonna start out by reading a few comments." My laptop is set up right next to my camera, so I lean forward to read comments.
"'How was your day?' Asks ladybugfan15532." I read the first comment I see, "Umm...Good, I guess. Met a girl, that was fun. Met an annoying guy, that wasn't so fun." I answer the question thinking about the highlights of the day I had just had. Those were about the only two things that stood out.
"'What is your favorite song?' Asks mus1cl0v3r78. Right now I'm really liking Clay by Grace Vanderwaal. The lyrics speak to me." I pause. The song reminding me of something I have to do. "Speaking of Grace, I have a question for you guys."
I shift in my seat, moving closer to the laptop. "I'm debating on two songs to do a cover of for my next video. Should I do Clay as previously mentioned, or A Cat's Love by Chat Noir?" I type a few things into my keyboard. "I'll make a poll so I don't have to figure out what song won in the comments."
I make a few noises with my mouth as I continue to type. "I'll tweet the link....now," I stretch out my words as I type the tweet. "There! Go vote, I'll take votes for...10ish minutes?"
"While we wait, I'll take more questions!" I cheer going back to the live stream chat. "'You should totally do A Cat's love! #Ladynoir' says LadyNoirTakeTheWheel," I pause, "Is LadyNoir Chat and my ship name?" I ask.
As soon as I ask that, the chat goes wild. People confessing their love for LadyNoir and linking to their best fanfiction. "I'll take that as a yes." I giggle. "I don't know...I look up to Chat, I don't really see us ever going anywhere if we did ever meet." The chat goes even wilder.
The chat is going a mile a minute I can't read anything anyone is saying. "Okay...If I knew you guys would physically die if I said that, I wouldn't have said it." I chuckle.
*Ten minutes pass*
"And it looks like the popular vote is," I drum on my legs, "A Cat's love!" I smile. "I guess you LadyNoir shippers will have some material."
***
Previous - Next
#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanfic#miraculous au#miraculous fanfic au#fanfic#au#fanfiction#ladybug#chat noir#ladybug and chat noir
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Devilish Deals 2
Leo: For the next big scoop. Ah, I know now! Is it a graph of how fish would drive if we gave them cars? «Uh, no? It’s a detailed chart explaining the fiscal consequences of the new legislation being passed today by the senators that we voted for!» Ugh, if you’re gonna be that political about it, then you’re gonna turn me off further, man. «Okay, deal with your sour attitude then; it’s not like this is gonna affect you immediately. Your QOL’s gonna lower subtly over time, and your baby-brother’s gonna keep whining about the fact that he can’t go to an after-hours clinic anymore because they’ve slashed all federal funding for them. And when shit really hits the fan, you’ll ask why these bank-workers who don’t look like bankers at all are coming to repossess your home. Just sit by and let that happen!» [,] Look, are you playing a character or something? You have a bad case of crazy eyes going on, and I wanna know if I’m being filmed or not: My privacy is very important to me. «Ms. Palmieri, I can assure you that I don’t record any of my encroachments, as that’d jeopardize the privacy of whoever’s door I land on. So, there’s my answer to your concerns about privacy.» <Oro starts to twitch, giving away that he’s afraid of something, thus letting his “crazy eye thing” become obvious.> «What do you think I take you for: Some kind of purse puppy? I’ve seen plenty of them in my life, and you’re not one of them; you’re just abstract, and you can find a way to embrace that.» I have no idea what a “purse puppy” is, whatever your name was. I was immersed earlier purely for the game of pictionary you were hosting earlier. «Well, I was immersed in detailing how newly proposed legislation will screw you over, and you’re not giving me reliable polling data!» <An armadillo appears to enter the open Ola Diara van, causing a noticeable ruckus.> «Do not focus on that creature! Instead, focus on the issues at hand.» Agh, you’re doing the crazy eyes thing again! I don’t like it; stop. «I can keep doing it! And I’ll keep doing it until you decide to contribute to stop this legislation!» [,] < After furious conversation between the two persists for three minutes, Ms. Palmieri stares at Oro with a deep, contemptuous look that implies something heinous was done. She walks back into her house, and closes her door with meaningful force, but not enough to shake the front of her house. All windows begin to suddenly close, and the ground under Oro’s feet begin to shake.> Wow, cool. That’s the second person who just magically spawned an earthquake underneath my feet because I said something they didn’t like. Unbelievable!
Taurus: In your usual shop. Status update for the restaurant: I couldn’t tell if it was the smoke signals coming off of weirdos who like to nomadically tour this place, but I think we’re losing customers because something’s scaring them off. I’ve noticed a sharp 20% decrease in usual customer attendance, and this clearly isn’t a result of the degrading quality of my cuisine: I always ensure that it’s top-notch no matter the cost. Therefore, the reason must be external, and it’s likely coming from something that’s been making the Gieger counter go off the fritz lately. <As Gresham lowers the marker from the whiteboard, he points his gaze at Natuk.> «Uh, if I’m following correctly, that likely means it’s the noise of the damn thing scaring people away. If I heard a Gieger ticks when I first enter a building, I’m gonna assume there’s nuclear fallout.» Uh, I also think you’re incorrect with that: Strange and somewhat concerning noises are part of the dining experience up here, and I would’ve lost more customers a longer time ago if the disturbance of such sounds was the culprit. <Natuk softly whispers to themselves> «Oh no, he’s doing this again: This happens every harvest season ‘cause he doesn’t understand that’s when people eat their own food.» Regardless, there’s something among us: A haunting presence that peeks out the corners of my eyes whenever I go up from this place to scout the weather for today. «Ugh, <Natuk’s eyes roll at being deliberately ignored> are you gonna tell me to go out and search for it again?» [,] Listen, I’m not one for superstition, — please just ignore my conspiratorial diagrams in the backroom — so I’m not gonna send you on a cleansing mission that I did years before. «Oh, that’s what I always get a glimpse of whenever you go back there. In that case, I’m slightly more relieved I don’t have to do this again!» …Which is why I’m leaving you in charge of managing this entire place while I’m embarking myself. «Wait, what?» You should’ve learned enough from the thirty months you’ve been around, so it’s yours while I confirm my suspicions. From my local knowledge, there’s always been an inkling that bad spirits gazed upon those soon to be met with misfortune high up on the cliff sides. [,] «Wait, wait! Where are you getting this staring figures idea from? Also, literally anyone can run this place.» You except the presence of conspiratorial diagrams and Gieger counters in a restaurant, but you draw the line at figures? Have you not been listening to me, Natuk? «No, no, I’ve been listening loud and clear. I’m just wondering why that’s your conclusion, and not any natural causes.» <Gresham stares down Natuk.> I’ve trusted the natural before, and it’s let me down too many times.
Aquarius: By offering a bit of blood. Gazing at the ever-expanding, formless ocean that takes up every corner of your vision gets you thinking about how small you are, as typical as that sounds. «You’re not doing a good job at trying to make me think outside myself; you’re not using enough showy language; you’re using active language.» Well, sometimes we don’t need to show anyone anything; did that thought ever cross your mind? «No, I always think about the bigger picture, the nuanced implications, and the encompassing meaning. That’s why I’m the navigator on this ship: You thought of me as the only person who could stare at barren oceans for hours on end and not become bored.» See, I don’t have to show you anything; that’s the job of the seas and the skies. Now, going back to what I was saying: Being out here for so long makes you complacent in the fact that you’re simultaneously small and large. We’re small in how our selves need to traverse something so vast in little units of ships, but we’re big in how we collectively impact these seascapes… Do you get that? [,] «I mean, it’s a fairly easy concept to grasp, Aukai. We’re small, I’m small, the ship’s small, you’re sorta small: I get it. But together, when our gross, salty bodies conglomerate to form an extremely complex, interlinking network of saltiness, we stink up the whole world.» It appears to be easy to grasp, but then you recognize that there’s an infinite layer of possibility below us that I’ll only ever observe a random instance of if I were to dive downward right now. What if I were to dive just three minutes later? I’d likely discover a whole underwater utopia instead of finding some small rocks and a school of krill. «I mean, you could also drown given how deep the sea goes down at this point.» Yeah, I’m really liking your nuanced thinking here: Thinking of hypotheticals that vanish in probability the moment a spare second passes. […] «With how much time you spend out here, you’re practically a sea creature of your own. Maybe some aspiring marine biologist will read about you in the newest issue of National Geographic: One that I’ll publish personally because nobody knows your behavior better than me.» There’s several people who know me better than you. And what you’re essentially saying is that every major epiphany in my life will be rewritten in allegories that children can easily read and interpret from a shark’s daily existence: Is that right? «Well, we’re thinking far ahead with this, and just to be sure we’re on the same page, you were talking about humans morphing into amphibian-like creatures in the future and how that can be triggered from this instance if we continue, correct?» <Aukai disappeared out of sight, leaving a ripple in the water from where she jumped off.> «Fuck.»
Pisces: Offered Satanist theory. Every coach spins their keys like they have nothing better do (they really don’t actually). I’m spinning my keys right now, but it’s clear that I’m not a coach: I’m neither bald nor frustrated enough to be one. Yet, Idrissa just left and told me to take care of her keys lest somebody else takes them. She trusts me out of all people, which is correlated with how well my performance has been doing. I’m now in the, uh, some type of BMI category: It was the one I was in two weeks ago but shifted below because of the excuse that our “weights are broken.” To tell you the truth, it’s more likely that nobody has ever made solid measurements of my body mass because it’s an amorphous structure. I mean, I consistently anger coaches because I never wear the skin-tight uniforms, and I get yelled at that I’m granting myself an “unfair advantage” because my baggy clothes are an inaccurate indicator of where I should be grabbed. I say I blame the people I’m up against for not understanding after multiple tries that the thighs are the best place to grab my flesh because that’s usually where it’s concentrated. […] Sorry, I went off on a tangent, who are you again? «There’s a persistent worry that the desire to create presentations numerously complex leads to an overall decline in digestibility and further blossoming. Therefore, it makes the coach in question attempt to sacrifice their deeply held complexities promised towards his students in favor of beating in the mundane until it becomes extraordinary.» Ah yes, thank you Maghazi: Thank you for your comments, proving my theory, and exemplifying how dimorphic my mind is. «I didn’t say that; what the hell are you talking about?» Unfortunately, I’m not the archetype who has voices in their head; that’ll be elaborated on sometime soon. «Maghazi, it’s Idrissa. I’m here to get my keys back because I need them to make sure we can leave the damn courtyard. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds like you’re messing with me, so cut it out.» <Various objects in the courtyard start to become laced in bright lines, detailing their physical geometry.> «But what does the spinning action accomplish? Is it one of those deliberate confusions — something that exists purely as a complicating agent? It’s based off real, tangible motion but becomes mystified by human interpretation, and thus made into something abstract. Abstraction is always the grounds for worship, as we know through the dreaded faithful.» <Idrissa shakes her head violently and recalls distinctly fake names.> «God, stop doing this! You do this every time you have one of your pretentious monologues, and it’s getting on my nerves!» Yes, I can very much feel the nerves, particularly those in your brain. <Idrissa yanks the keys out of Maghazi’s hand and the illusion stops.> What? You’re acting like I’m a nuisance.
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