#i wanna play lethal company again :C

[belthegore]

bracken doodle

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

We meet Sea Three. Which goes surprisingly smoothly for pirates with dubious relationship with death and law and a lot of sharp toys.

Chad trailed after Audrey as she strode towards the Lost Revenge, already starting to second guess this idea.

He hadn't even met the pirates yet and he hadn't even come out to anyone other than Audrey yet! 

This could end horribly. 

But… still, he followed her. Fighting against his instinct to run, because he trusted her. 

Even if others didn't anymore. 

Even if some said that he shouldn't after the closet incident. 

He trusted her.

Audrey walked like she had every business to be around the port, and thus no one questioned her. Not even paparazzi were there, what with at least two semi-feral pirate crews that didn’t believe in the freedom of specifically Auradon media or the concept of personal ownership. 

Especially when it came to flashy machines that could very much get them in trouble if they were working in the right moments.

So, yeah. Audrey didn’t worry about her photos being taken in the port.

The Lost Revenge was in sight; there was the last chance to turn around and walk away.

Audrey didn’t take it.

She kept her footsteps sure and only looked back at Chad—he was still walking with her. She flashed him a quick smile, and he nervously smiled back.

They didn’t talk.

Then they stood in front of the Lost Revenge, the ship having been made seaworthy again after Ben visited her one time and proclaimed it a safety hazard (to which the pirates answered "our safety hazard", "Ehm, Isle, ehm," and "Don’t worry, we’re used to it!").

So, the ship looked reasonably steady and safe to walk on.

As much as a ship on free water can look steady.

Audrey took a deep breath. She had to go now, lest she gets cold feet. She walked over the  narrow boarding bridge—more of a plank, really – and looked around.

She didn’t see much before she found herself immobilized  with cold metal pressed against her throat.

Chad yelped as he was grabbed from behind AND spun around. Causing him to come face to face with a tall, buff boy with long blonde hair and big brown eyes that made him wanna melt. 

Eyes that he quickly got lost in. 

He hardly even registered what was going on around them. 

"Captain," the low voice with a heavy accent that spoke behind Audrey was definitely Harry’s, "Look what the tide dragged in."

Audrey could do nothing but watch and breathe and hope that the damned hook didn’t pierce her skin as Uma came into view.

"Oh?"

"New royals," Harry added somewhat needlessly, "We didn’t even need to kidnap these!"

Uma walked forward, until she was almost as close to Audrey as Harry was, that is, almost uncomfortably close in her personal space. 

She grabbed her chin.

The tip of the hook didn’t move.

"I wonder what does the Queen of Mean want around here? With pirates?" Uma phrased the question so that it wasn’t even pointed at Audrey, and despite herself, Audrey smiled.

If she played this right, oh… This was gonna be fun.

Audrey swallowed somewhat painfully, what with a lethal weapon still on her throat, and said: "I want to date you. I think we should date."

Uma raised a brow "we?"

Gil gestured to an oblivious Chad, who's arm he was still holding. "She brought her minion with her, Uma."

Harry's eyes drifted over to Gil boredly, only to lit up when he spotted Chad. "I say Captain, do you know who that is?"

He had a mischievous smile on his face and a mad look in his eye that would have unsettled anyone else. "It’s the boy who ran for his mommy in the princess’s cottage.”

It was only then that Chad noticed their company. "Ah shi—fiddlesticks."

Laughter boomed around the crew— apparently, the pirates found Chad’s swallowed curse very funny. Chad’s cheeks coloured red.

The noise quickly died down with a glare from Uma.

"Say that again," she ordered Audrey, stepping a bit further from her. Harry didn’t mirror that action, but he didn’t press on his hook as hard as he had before. Audrey counted that as a win and was careful not to show too much relief.

"I think we should date," she repeated. After Uma’s unimpressed gaze, she added "We. The five of us. Me and Chad, you three."

"Right." Uma still looked extremely unimpressed, and Audrey wasn’t really in the position to check the other two pirates.

"And what’s in for us?"

If Audrey could move, she would sweep her hair dramatically over her shoulder, as it was, she settled for a very slight jerk of her head. A painful compromise between drama and, you know. The weapon and the pirate holding her in place?

"Why, you get to date me, of course–"

Chad winced "Audrey! Give them the other reason!"

Harry snickered.

Gil chuckled.

Both boys straightened up with one look from Uma. 

The pirate Captain gestured for Audrey to continue, and she smiled sweetly as she said, "You get to piss off the media and  a bunch of old Royals a whole lot."

The crew hushed around them. 

A couple of them oooo'd at the idea, and some of them started whispering something that sounded suspiciously like bets.

Harry cackled. 

"I say we keep them, Captain," he said in a manner that was absolutely not unnerving in the slightest.

That said, Audrey was glad she couldn’t see his eyes.

"I vote with Harry!" Gil piped up from where he was still holding Chad hostage.

Chad turned red, smiling bashfully. 

However, Uma didn’t look entirely convinced. Audrey smiled at her sweetly, and said "Purely a business arrangement, you see. No hard feelings."

"Yep. No feelings at all," Chad echoed, lying less convincingly than even the fairies, which was not helped by the pout. Audrey needed to teach him to lie better,

Finally, Uma smiled too.

"I see." Her smile showed too much teeth. "We’re in."

With that, Harry let go of Audrey, going to stand next to the Captain, and Gil let go of Chad.

Chad tried to hide his pout at that. 

Uma looked around at the crew, who suddenly found other very interesting things to do and to look at, and added "Let’s move this somewhere private, shall we?"

next part

Piss Off Your Parents

A new story written together with @hannahhook7744

We hope you enjoy!

Summary: Audrey comes up with the perfect way to piss off her grandmother and get the attention of both her parents and Chad's. 

And the answer lies with the sea three.

Chad stormed into Audrey's cottage and into her room, before plopping down onto her bed—face first—with a quiet sigh as she read one of her fashion magazines. Quietly fuming about something her grandmother said while her parents were away doing another season of her mom's show. 

Some people might be put off by the fact that Chad just entered her cottage without knocking, but the two of them had known each other for so long that knocking wasn't a necessity between them. 

Which could have something to do with the fact that the two of them had been each other's only true confidantes since Chad's grandfather died and since their other friends started drifting away from them.

But who knows.

Audrey raised her head to greet him, and then set the magazine down when she saw him.

"Chad? What happened?“ she asked.

He looked awful. His hair was a mess and his clothes were disheveled. "They forgot they were supposed to spend the day with me. Again."

Them likely being Chad’s parents.

Audrey felt a sudden urge to curse a kingdom or at least few monarchs at that, which she contributed to the lingering effects of her Queen of Mean episode. Good girls didn‘t curse kingdoms nor start international incidents. Good girls also notably didn’t argue with their grandmothers.

So Audrey neatly compartmentalized the raging inferno in her mind and instead focused on the problem at hand, that is, upset Chad.

“We could just spend the day together,“ she suggested, "They don’t know what they’re missing.“ 

Chad still looked glum. "It's like that but… I… I just…sometimes, it feels like they forgot about me after Chloe was born. And I know it's stupid to be jealous of a 10 year old but I can't help it. I can't remember the last time they spent time with me when it didn't have to do with my grades or telling me when Chloe's sick."

He felt stupid and a bit selfish for admitting it but he couldn't help it. 

It wasn't fair that he had only gotten to have parents for two years after having waited six to be adopted. 

In a notable show of self-control, Audrey didn‘t get up to go curse one particular kingdom–she didn’t even reach for her phone to dial King Charming and Queen Cinderella, which was good, because she‘d have yelled at them otherwise.

"Chad,“ she said softly and laid her hand over his,"it’s not stupid at all.“

There was an awkward pause.

"You know,“ she said with a light chuckle, "Until you try to violently overthrow the current rulers, you’re fine.“

It was a weird joke, but hey. Their life was weird.

And it did make Chad respond.

Chad snorted, swiping at his eyes with his sleeve. "You know… Sometimes I feel like you're the only one who even cares about me anymore. " 

He gave her a weak smile, trying desperately to hide the fact that he wasn't joking.Trying desperately to hide the fact that he had felt like he was abandoned all over again after Chloe was born. 

To hide that he had felt alone since he was only eight years old.  

"Chad! That’s simply not true!” Audrey exclaimed, very much hoping she wasn‘t lying. She was trying not to lie, it wasn’t good for her mental health.

Neither was it good for Chad to lie here on her bed and think about sad things all day. Probably.

“Let‘s go do something?“ she proposed, “Perhaps a shopping spree?“ 

"Sure… but before we do… are you doing okay? You seem off." Chad asked hesitantly, trying not to phrase it wrong.

He'd been much more careful with his words since the Queen of Mean–closet incident. 

An incident that he hadn't told his parents about. 

“Of course I’m fine!“ Audrey smiled brightly, and ignored the buzzing of her phone, “ I want some new skirt, what about you?“

He shrugged, heartedly. "Sure. I could use some stuff for my hair, anyway."

When Chad looked away, she casually swiped the incoming call into the red. She didn’t need another lecture from her grandmother today, thank you very much. 

She was entirely fine being told that she’s “a disgrace of a family name“, a “poor excuse of a princess“ and “Probably gonna die old and lonely and unloved the way she is going, and dragging her two ancestral kingdoms to doom with her“ only once a day.

Still smiling, she got up and picked up her favorite heels to wear today. She was used to walking on cobblestones, and if she fell, Chad could always catch her. At least the paparazzi would have something to talk about, she thought bitterly.

————

Chad kept checking his phone every so often in the car and even when they got into the mall, silently hoping that one of his parents would remember that they were supposed to hang out today. 

Only to keep being disappointed when he found nothing. 

No phone calls or texts from either of them. 

Or from anyone else. 

His shoulders slumped as he tucked his phone away in his pocket and trailed after Audrey, helping her carry her things as he tried not to get overwhelmed by the loud songs and bright lights of the mall.

The last thing he needed right now would be a sensory overall. 

But that would be just his luck. 

Audrey smiled and glared at people, keeping most of them at respectable distance–she was quite delighted to see that not all of that venom belonged to the Queen of Mean, and it did come in handy sometimes.

On another note, the fashion selection this season was just awful.

But nevermind, she could work with it. She tried on clothes and asked Chad for his insight,  and they tried on the most disastrous pieces together. She just hoped the stores had good enough security, so there would be no photos that could leak.

And when walking in between the shops, well. She was used to the attention.

That doesn’t mean she appreciated it.

But still better than her "concerned" grandmother, no?

Chad was having a decent time despite the fact that his senses were aching something fierce at the moment. 

He was just starting to think that maybe, just maybe today wouldn't be such a bad day after all when it happened.

When they showed up. 

Their cameras flashed blinding light; only a lifetime of photoshoots saved Audrey from violently flinching away and ruining her image. She couldn’t imagine what it was doing to Chad.

Chad, despite having the same experience as her, had never been able to get control of his reactions and flinched immediately. Before he instinctively dropped Audrey's bags to cover his aching eyes. 

And, what was worse, there was nowhere to go. No decent stores to hide in under the guise of shopping.

No. That would be asking too much.

The only shop nearby sold bloody LINGERIE.

Understandably, Audrey and Chad couldn’t go there. Never ever, nevermind the attacking paparazzi.

Audrey decided to ignore those for the moment, instead turning around to Chad and briefly brushing her hand against his in reassurance.

Zoom. 

Click. 

Snap. 

Click. 

Of course.

Of course they would.

Audrey smiled and crouched down to help Chad gather the bags.

Chad did his best to collect them carefully—fully aware of the fact that Audrey had bought several fragile things such as perfume bottles—but he was probably rougher than necessary given the fact he was in sensory hell.

Next thing he knew, Audrey was rushing him past the paparazzi and ushering him into his car. 

Quickly snagging his keys before closing the door and getting into the front seat, and speeding off. 

Definitely going faster than the speed limit allowed. 

But Chad couldn't find it in him to care as he curled up in the backseat, hands clasped tightly over his still ringing ears. 

He hated the press.

Audrey kept her eyes on the road the whole time and kept talking at Chad, and definitely not thinking of wherever the newest media sensation might be.

But when they got home and settled and she finally checked her phone, she was not surprised to find it blown up with missed calls and messages from her grandmother.

’Audrey, dear,’ one of them read, ’I’m just worried about you. It’s for your own good. Are you involved with the Charming prince again? I do wish you settled finally. It would bring me peace. Think of the kingdom!’

And, of course: ’That store?! What were you even doing, Audrey? Do you know how that looks?’

Audrey scrolled through what felt like miles of messages without breaking her poker face. It was… It was too much. She would not stand for this.

She left her grandmother on read.

Chad's phone rang at that moment causing him to whimper in pain (as he was still in the midst of sensory hell) and her irritation to spike. 

Now they care? She thought. Only now?

Well, if it is so…

If only media attention made Chad’s parents care…. then yeah, Audrey had the perfect plan.

The fact that it might give her dear old grandmother a heart attack was, well, just a… bonus.

“Chad?“ she said sweetly, "I’ve got an idea…“

[valkyrieofsmut]

Captive Love   21

UF!Sans x Reader (or Frisk if you wanna)

Summary: Papyrus' love language is... food? Sans' is... staying safe...? Sweetheart's is... not taking shit anymore? Or is she just hurt?

A/N: Just kidding, we know Paps' love language is acts of service, and Sans' is touch. 

Masterlist      Series Masterlist

Story

Papyrus cares- he does!

Sans woke with his arms around his sweetheart, and he couldn’t get the smile off of his face. 

His arms tightened around her, squeezing her just that little bit closer to him. 

She was so soft…

So comforting…

She fit perfectly into his arms and against him. 

Sans nuzzled into her neck, taking in her scent and nipping to wake her gently. 

(Y/n) hummed softly as she woke. There was a tickling at her neck mixed with soft nips, making her giggle as she was pulled into the waking world. 

That sweet giggle sent jolts of fondness through Sans’ bones. 

“stars, y’re s'wonderful, sweetheart,” he murmured.

That poisonous little thought in the back of his mind that she was only doing any of this to keep him pleased dug at him again, but he dismissed it so hard that it was like flinging a child against a wall… not that he’d… done that before… he was just supposing… 

They laid there for a bit, cuddled together, and enjoying each other’s company, until Sans finally pulled his phalanges from her hair where he'd been trailing them and sighed. 

"gotta get some breakfast, sweetheart. definitely gotta do my rounds t'day." 

She watched him as he climbed from the bed, hesitating at his dresser. 

"w- ya wanna c-come wit me?" He asked, focusing his gaze away from her. 

"Ok," she told him, her voice a bit raspy, but ok otherwise. 

Sans seemed a bit more at ease at that, his posture relaxing and smile gently growing more genuine. 

"heh- sweetheart, i 's gonna tell ya; that's real sweet a ya, what ya said las' night… an' it was funny as hell when ya barked at boss," he told her with a chuckle as he gathered his clothes. 

(Y/n) giggled back. "I don't know what his insistence of me only being a pet is for, but if it gets the point across, I can bark- especially if it makes him feel silly." 

They got ready and spent an awkward breakfast sitting at the table with Papyrus, who seemed a little stiff and formal, but seeming to be ignoring that anything out of the ordinary had happened the night before. 

As the three were getting ready to part ways, Papyrus stopped them. 

"SANS, DON'T FORGET YOUR MEAL!" He held out a paper bag, seeming to hold something heavy at the bottom. 

Sans looked a little flustered as he took it, muttering, "ya didn't have ta do that, boss…" 

"OF COURSE I DID," Papyrus insisted, his own skull flushing a very faint red. "YOU'D JUST EAT THAT GREASY GARBAGE IF I DIDN'T MAKE SURE YOU HAD SOMETHING PROPER TO EAT!" 

"thanks, bro," Sans replied, then he and (Y/n) turned to go, but stopped at the loud clearing of his nonexistent throat the taller skeleton gave. 

"AND YOURS, HUMAN." He held out a bag similar to Sans', refusing to look at her, still lightly glowing red. "IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR OWN, MY LAZY BROTHER WILL CERTAINLY FEED YOU HIS AND GET THAT GREASY FILTH ANYWAY." 

(Y/n) looked at the bag in confusion for a moment, glancing at Sans and Papyrus, then back to the bag. She had no idea why or when the irritable skeleton would have gained enough thoughtfulness to try to take care for her- maybe she'd gained a bit of his respect when she'd stood up for herself and Sans the night before…? 

Those thoughts were pushed out of her mind as he jiggled the bag at her impatiently. 

A small smile curved her lips as she decided to show her appreciation to him. 

She took the bag and wrapped her arms around him, giving a, "thanks, Papyrus, it's so thoughtful of you!" 

The large, intimidating skeleton in her grasp flushed darker. "SANS! REMOVE YOUR HUMAN FROM ME AT ONCE!" But he didn't move to reject her. 

(Y/n) held back her chuckle at how entertaining these emotionally constipated monsters were as she let him go, giving him a bright smile. "Have a wonderful day, Papyrus!" 

He gave a flustered "NYEH!" of agitation as the other two left, and (Y/n) almost couldn't hold her laughter this time. 

"Um, Sans… while we're out, is there anywhere that we might be able to get a razor?" (Y/n) asked a few minutes into their journey. 

An image of a lethal straight edge flashlight in his mind. "a- a razor? wh-what d'ya need that fer?" Sans asked nervously. In the underground, it was normal to have a weapon, even above ground, most monsters had something on them to protect themselves, but, his sweetheart? 

No. 

He'd protect her. 

He didn't want anyone getting any funny ideas and trying to go against his sweetheart. Humans with weapons were dangerous, and it would only invite trouble. Other monsters would attack out of the sheer principal of having something so dangerous around. 

"For shaving," she answered, her neck heating a bit. 

Calm instantly flooded Sans. 

Oh. Shaving. That was different; he could get an entirely different kind of razor for her. 

He was pretty sure the same place he'd gotten her clothes had something like that, since they dealt in procuring the stranger items from human life that some monsters wanted- for various reasons. 

Sans hummed. "sure, i know a place that might have what ya want." 

.

They went through rounds, Sans talking to each monster as though he were taking a census, making sure that no one was bothered or bothering anyone else. 

It occurred to (Y/n) that what he and his brother were doing, if Papyrus did the same thing, was keeping the peace. Making sure that no arguments arose between any of the citizens. 

The main reason that she'd caught on, though, is because where it had been so calm the last time she went through with him, now, it was agitated and unsettled. 

Monsters looked like they'd attack anyone who looked at them wrong, though the posturing usually broke up when Sans neared. 

It seemed that he had a lot more authority than she'd thought he did, and that the rounds were more important than she'd first guessed, and Sans acted like they were, as well. 

It was getting close to lunch time when they reached a shop with a sign in the window. 

It was obviously closed, the lights off and doors locked, and as (Y/n) used her translator paper to read the sign hung on the door, CLOSED DUE TO DUSTING. 

She looked to where Sans was standing uncomfortably, looking anywhere but the store. 

Was that a normal thing; to close for a whole day just to dust the store?

She felt like there was more to it, like she was missing something, but with the put out way Sans was looking, it didn't seem like the right time to ask. 

She'd ask later, when they weren't in a place surrounded by people who would kill them if given the chance. 

She folded up her paper and stuffed it in her pocket, wordlessly following as Sans turned and silently led the way. 

There were no bad knock knock jokes as they made their way to their next destination as Sans silently brooded through whatever he was dealing with, though he seemed like his regular self as he spoke to the next few people, he was eerily silent between. 

He had a pretty amazing mask to keep his emotions hidden- but of course, these monsters were all emotionally constipated… or maybe just emotionally closeted, afraid to show how they really felt in case someone tried to use it against them… 

Sans pulled (Y/n) out of her reverie, telling her, "we'll hit up that shop fer a razor, then we'll stop fer lunch." 

"Ok, sounds good," she answered, following him to a storefront. 

It had been painted black, like so many of the others, the windows seeming purposely dirty and gritty so you couldn't see in from the outside. There was no name on the front, but 'tea' had been spray painted in dripping red paint on the wall near the door, in human. 

Over all, a very sketchy feeling seemed to emanate from the building. 

Sans opened the door and they entered, (Y/n) looking around at the strange space. 

There was a small area in front of the counter that seemed to run the length of the store. Most of the counter was blocked off by a seeming wall of junk that spanned from the counter to the ceiling, and there were more shelves of it above the space behind the counter, as well. 

There were a few racks on this side of the counter, holding various black, red, and mixed color cloth, and it took a bit for (Y/n) to realize that they were clothes fitted for different types of monsters; obviously, if you were a rabbit or lizard monster, you'd need holes for a tail, but if you were a skeleton or other monster with no tail, you wouldn't- and the spider lady and all of the spiders from the bakery would need something entirely different. 

There was a pretty rabbit monster behind the counter, wearing a tight, low cut top that hardly left anything to the imagination. Her velvety looking pinkish fur seemed very well groomed, laying prettily, the hair on her head pulled into a curly, wavy, ponytail. 

"Heya, there, Sansy," she cooed at him seductively. 

"Hey, doll," Sans greeted back with a slick grin. 

(Y/n)'s attention turned to the interaction, admittedly feeling a twinge of jealousy at the way he wasn't rebuking the rabbit's advances. 

She knew he was flirty, so she tried to quell the stomach twisting emotion. She hated to admit it after how close they'd gotten, but, he was a free monster, just as she was a free woman- they hadn't decided to be anything more. Hadn't even talked about it.

The rabbit leaned forward on the counter, giving a very obvious show of cleavage. 

A lot of cleavage. 

"Is this your new pet, Sansy?" She asked, looking (Y/n) over. "Looks like she's got the clothes ya bought on. And the fit is pretty good, a little off, a bit big… but, we can't expect everyone to look the same in everything, isn't that right, pet?" The way she said pet made it obvious it was something not really worth her time, and that she most definitely was above in any sort of hierarchy. 

(Y/n) didn't say anything, her jaw clenching instead, knowing that she had to play nice in a group of hostile people as big as the town. 

The rabbit didn’t seem like she wanted an answer, anyway. 

Sans gave a huff of a laugh at the snide comment pretending to be a joke. 

(Y/n)'s jaw clenched a little harder. 

He was laughing at her? 

It kinda hurt… 

"Aww, look at her. Such a good, well trained little pet. Most pets are so noisy so soon after you get them." The look on the rabbit's face was a rude, scornful sneer despite the praise. 

She hoped Sans would hurry up so they could go, but… he leaned his arm on the counter, looking over at her. 

"she is a good pet," he agreed, sending her a grin that looked a bit patronizing. 

A pit started to form in (Y/n)'s stomach. 

Free agent or not, she would have sworn that their relationship was deeper than that… especially after last night... now she felt a bit cheap and used… 

Dirty… 

Sans’s smile faltered, his brow bone tilting a little in question. 

“I bet she’s a compliant little pet, too,” the rabbit seemed to be goading (Y/n), trying to get some sort of reaction out of her. 

No emotions, she told herself, tightening her jaw just a bit before letting her face fall as neutral as possible. 

“she is, does what she’s supposed ta, but only fer me,” Sans replied to the rabbit off hand, sounding a little distracted as he watched (Y/n)’s expression change. 

The rabbit lady was looking at her so smugly that (Y/n) was starting to feel disgusted, not only with her and the situation, but with herself, too. It started to peek through her neutral face. 

Sans straightened a little from the counter. “somethin’ wrong, sweetheart?” He asked, hiding his honest concern so well that he sounded almost a little patronizing. 

(Y/n) turned her head to look at him, not realizing that her jaw was clenched so tightly that her teeth were starting to hurt until she opened her mouth to answer. 

“Just reflecting on how glad I am that I don’t behave like an attention seeking hussy,” she looked back to the rabbit, who was still trying to showcase her cleavage on the counter while arching her back to show off her tail and how short her shorts were. They were short. Short enough to see a hint of thigh over the counter. 

The rabbit woman made an extremely offended noise, glaring at her. 

“sweetheart,” Sans looked a bit shocked, glancing from the rabbit to her. “what’d ya say that fer?”

She leveled him with the most neutrally masked contempt she could muster. 

“Woof. Woof.” 

A growl rumbled from Sans as his face grew red with anger. His movements were stiff and jerky as he stood straight, moving toward her. 

“c’mon, sweetheart, we’re goin’,” he growled, taking her hand and pulling her toward the door. 

[blaisydaisyreviews]

ABC recommendations

It’s been a while since I written a review. I still want to do my Solondz series along with other series. I’m going to do a spontaneous abc review of my recommendations just to get to juices going. I have not seen all these movies, but I’ve seen shots and bits from other recommendations.  

A is for Akira

I have not finished seeing this film, and I remember I only had an hour left of it. I really appreciated the cool futuristic style in Akira, and I’m not a fan of anime or the mangas but this movie looks really cool and it’s special to a lot of people.

B is for Bully directed by Larry Clark

I recently saw this film last week. At first, I didn’t know what to think about this film, but I think I like it. It’s based off a true story about a group of teens who conspire to kill a mutual friend, who’s a bully and an asshole to his friends. Larry Clark is one of my favorite film makers and photographers. This film is a real trip and I love the way it’s shot. Some of the scenes are very disorienting but in a cool way. 

C is for Cannibal Holocaust 

Due to technical difficulties, I can never finish watching this film on my Shudder App. I’ve only seen it up to halfway, but I’ve always been fascinated to how this film got made. Apparently, the filmmaker was arrested and was asked if those kills were real. The only creatures who were unfortunately harmed were animals like a turtle, a squirrel monkey, a pig, and more. The filmmaker was a dick for doing that, but if you don’t wanna see that you can look for an animal cruelty-free version. This film also sparked the found footage genre in horror, which makes the film look gritty and realistic.

D is for The Doom Generation directed by Greg Arraki

I’ve seen this film a couple of times, and it’s one of those movies that I’d like to own on DVD. I’d like to own The Doom Generation so I can appreciate it from time to time. It’s a queer horror exploitation film with Rose Mcgowan and James Duvall. This movie is a weird trip, weird in a cool way. This movie’s so cool, and it holds a special place in my heart.

E is for Ed Wood directed by Tim Burton

This film is about Ed Wood, the notoriously bad filmmaker, mostly known for Plan 9 from Outer Space. In this film, Johnny Depp plays Ed Wood, and it’s about the making of Plan 9 from Outer Space. Overall this is a very enjoyable little movie. In my opinion, it’s one of Tim Burtons under rated movies. I love how it’s shot in black and white. It’s a film about film making, and those films are always interesting.

F is for Funny Games directed by Michael Haneke

If you’re like me, you have to distinguish which version of Funny Games you prefer. I like the original Austria version a lot more. The U.S. remake is directed by the same one from the original. His plan was to make a U.S. version first but I guess his plans fell through. I honestly feel like the remake was unnecessary. Thank goodness I can read subtitles. Funny Games is a home invasion film that works as a satire on how we perceive violence. I love the main villain in this film and how he breaks the fourth wall from time to time, and there are moments in the film when he knows he’s in a film. I love it so much, it’s bonkers and it works.

G is for Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai directed by Jim Jarmusch

Forrest Whitaker plays a character named Ghost Dog, who embodies the philosophy of a samurai. I love this film, I’ve shown it to my friends and they grew to love it as much as I do. There’s a lot of elements of Ghost Dog that I want to talk about, but it’s mainly known for its beautiful cinematography and classic Jarmusch storytelling. 

H is for Happiness directed by Todd Solondz

The film follows three sisters and the people around them, and everyone is miserable or unhappy in their own way. This is a dark comedy, with amazing raw cringing performances. It’s listed as one of the most disturbing films ever made, and in my opinion, it can certainly be dangerously disturbing.

I is for Idiocracy directed by Mike Judge

To be honest, I recently saw this movie and I’m surprised how well it holds up for 2017. I’m a huge fan of Office Space, Extract, and King of the Hill so I’m upset that I just saw this movie now. It’s 2005 and the film follows Private Joe, who is selected to take part in a military experiment to put him in hibernation for a year. He is put in with another person, Rita, and they are forgotten for about 500 years til there was this garbage avalanche and their pods were open. Joe and Rita are separated and they start to realize the decline of human intelligence and because of this Joe is declared the smartest person on earth with an average IQ. A lot of the language is problematic because there are lawyers and doctors who use words like fag and retard. As bad as it sounds, it works for the plot and it makes this a funny satire. 

J is for Julien Donkey Boy directed by Harmony Korine

The story focuses on the schizophrenic Julien and his dysfunctional family. I love how Korine breaks some rules from Dogma 95, and he does so in a creative perspective. I wasn’t so sure about this film at first, but this film grew on me over time and this is very different from your usual conventional storytelling. This film is not for everyone, it��s very disturbing and dark. 

Ken Park directed by Larry Clark

I have not seen Ken Park yet. This was also written by Harmony Korine. From what I know it’s about the lives of several teenagers with dysfunctional family problems. I also heard this movie was messed up so I gotta prepare myself for that.

L is for Lost Highway directed by David Lynch

I’m not too familiar with Lost Highway, but this is definitely on my bucket list. 

M is for May directed by Lucky McKee

This film follows May, a lonely young woman with a traumatizing childhood, and the attempts to get closer to people. This is a fun little horror movie, with hammy acting and a great storyline. I love the shots and the meaning behind this film. I really sympathize with May, and I take pleasure in her reaching her sick goals. This movie is really special, very close to my heart, and James Duvall is in this film. Just for one scene but still. If you’re into weird films like Donnie Darko then I dare you to watch May.

N is for Night on Earth directed by Jim Jarmusch

Night on Earth follows five taxi drivers in five separate cities around the world. The first story follows a tomboy taxi driver, Corky, played by Winona Ryder, and she gives one of my favorite performances. Corky is such an adorable foul mouthed tomboy, she’s a taxi driver and an aspiring mechanic. I don’t know if I want to be her, or if I want to be with her, and that’s how cute and awesome Corky is. The characters are what I love most about this film. That’s just one story, and the rest are just as ridiculous and emotionally investing. 

O is for Old Boy Directed by Chan Wook Park

Oldboy follows a man who was mysteriously kidnapped and locked in a room for 15 years. After he’s released he has to figure out who locked him up and why. Oldboy is such a cool South Korean revenge film, with beautiful cinematography, poetic realism, and music. 

P is for Paris, Texas directed by Wim Wenders

The film follows a disheveled man, Travis, played y Harry Dean Stanton, who is found wandering the desert. When a stranger contacts his brother, Walt, he is forced to find his brother and bring him back home to his eight-year-old son. We don’t know why Travis disappeared for four years, and how silent he is throughout the film. I legit thought he was a mute, but no you learn that he hasn’t talked in years because of a heartbreak. This film is wonderfully shot, and it’s just a beautiful looking film. Paris, Texas is emotionally heartbreaking and it stays with you when it’s done. Harry Dean Stanton, you’re the fucking man!

Q is for

I don’t know any movies that I could recommend that start with the letter Q. Pass.

R is for The Room directed by Tommy Wiseau

It’s known as the Citizen Kane of bad movies. The story isn’t much, it’s about a banker, Johnny, who’s engaged with Lisa, his future wife, who has an affair with Mark, Johnny’s best friend. That’s the story, but this film has to be seen to believed. The Room is perfect to watch with a group of friends, and it’s wonderful seeing someone else’s reaction to seeing The Room for the first time. This film is flat out bonkers, and I love it. There are a lot of things wrong with it, and there are subplots that come and go and are never mentioned again. 

S is for Samurai Cop

I don’t know a lot about this film, only that it’s a Lethal Weapon rip off and it’s known as one of the best worst movies ever made. I heard it was discovered in a film vault, at a film company. I can imagine this is another one of those bad movies you can watch with a group of friends and have a good time. 

T is for Tetsuo: The Iron Man

I haven’t seen the first Tetsuo or any of them, but the first one is a body horror film about a man who transforms into a cyborg man with metal parts and wires. It looks so cool. It’s still on my watch list.

U is for 

V is for Visitor Q directed by Takashi Miike

I haven’t seen Visitor Q or a lot of Miike films besides Audition and The Happiness of the Katakuris. I heard this is one of Miike’s most prolific films, so gotta check this out sometime.

W is for Welcome to the Dollhouse directed by Todd Solondz

I’ve already reviewed this film because it’s one of my favorite films. This film follows Dawn Weiner, an 8th grader who gets bullied a lot and neglected at home. I love how heartbreaking this film is from the point of view of an 8th grader. It’s raw and brave for displaying a brutally honest depiction of middle school.

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