#i wanna make sure it's clear that when i mention rsd

[ghastbutlikegay]

by the way i just wanna make sure it's clear that i would 100% rather have my RSD triggered than have someone let me make them uncomfortable to protect my feelings. my disproportionate emotional response is not your responsibility. i dont want people to feel uncomfortable or upset because of me. me having ADHD and being sensitive is not an excuse for me to hurt you

[flashthescalesian-art]

Silence (a.k.a Jax has rejection sensitive dysphoria)

Jax has ADHD, and I also have ADHD, so of course I had to dump my RSD issues onto Jax too because traumatizing my OCs is how I cope when something is bothering me. I’m not gonna go into detail about my personal issues (I’m okay, just struggle-bussing it through life), but sometimes no matter what anyone says, RSD still manages to convince you that you did something wrong when someone stops talking to you. (Bob belongs to @thehannalyzer, btw, he’s not mine. (Also, I’m not trying to make any commander mentioned out to be a “bad guy” or “mean”, just so we’re clear on that. This is from Jax’s RSD-clouded POV, I’m not bashing anyone else mentioned))

—————

“Something’s bugging you,” Blazer said in lieu of a greeting when he walked into Jax’s office and leaned on the desk with both arms, one hand supporting his chin as he stared at Jax. 

Jax avoided eye contact and tried to pretend he was busy working. Go away. 

“Hey, genius, you and I both know you hate paperwork, so there’s no way you’re so focused that you didn’t hear me.” Blazer grabbed Jax’s datapad and pulled it out of his hands before setting it facedown just out of Jax’s reach. “You gonna talk to me or do I need to make you talk?” 

Jax glared up at Blazer. He looked genuinely worried, if annoyed, and Jax instantly felt guilty. What am I doing? Why am I pushing him away when he’s not even someone I’m mad at? Sighing, Jax rubbed a hand down his face, trying to stay composed enough to explain what was going on in his head. “The others are barely speaking to me. Or, it feels that way, anyway.” He shrugged. “I dunno if I’m just overreacting or if they’re actually ignoring me.” 

Blazer frowned sympathetically as he absently rubbed the scar on his chin with one finger. “Okay. Are they just busy? It’s not like things have been quiet for anyone lately.” 

Jax shrugged again, a lump forming in his throat. Force-dammit. Can’t talk about osik without crying. No wonder the others see me as a baby still. “I don’t know. A couple of them said they’re busy, but others… I haven’t heard from a few of them in weeks.” His eyes stung, so he scrubbed at them with one hand. He felt Blazer’s hand rest on top of the hand that still held his stylus for his datapad. 

“Who haven’t you heard from?” Blazer’s voice was gentle, so gentle. 

Jax couldn’t look at him. “F-Fox. And Bob. And— and Bacara and Neyo.” 

“Well, you told me that Thorn’s been worried about Fox too, so I doubt he’s ignoring only you if his twin is worried about him. Plus you mentioned that Thire sounded worried.” 

“Was that supposed to be reassuring?” Jax asked bitterly. 

Blazer gave a soft sigh. “Yes and no. It’s not a good thing that Fox seems to be ignoring Thorn and Thire too, but it does mean that it’s probably nothing to do with you, if that’s what you’re upset about.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Jax mumbled, still barely holding himself together. “Even if Fox isn’t mad at me, that doesn’t explain everyone else.” 

Blazer squeezed Jax’s hand. “It is possible that Bob is avoiding talking to you since that fight you two had. It might be good if you don’t talk to him for a while anyway.” 

Jax instantly felt guilt wash over him like a wave, so he buried his face in his arms on the desk, pulling away from Blazer. “I don’t wanna talk about that. He hates me, and I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Sure, Bob had sent multiple apologies after the fight, but that was nearly a month ago at this point. Jax hadn’t really responded since he wasn’t sure he believed Bob, and after a month of silence, it felt even harder to believe that Bob didn’t hate him. 

“So what if he hates you?” Blazer’s voice took on a fierce tone that seemed to color his words any time Jax mentioned that he thought Bob— or any of his brothers, really —hated him. “You don’t need his approval or attention. Same goes for Neyo and Bacara. If they don’t wanna talk to you, that’s their issue, not yours. You didn’t do anything to them.” 

Jax simply wanted to melt into the floor. He knew Blazer meant well, and some angry part of him agreed with Blazer, but he couldn’t shake the little cadet voice wondering why his older brothers didn’t seem to want to talk to him, or why he always felt like they looked down on him. Just the thought of never speaking to any of his older brothers again made that little voice cry out in agony. “But I don’t want to lose contact with them,” Jax whimpered into his arms. 

“If they’re not gonna put in the effort, why should you?” Blazer asked, his raspy voice nearly a growl now. 

Jax felt tears escape, so he pressed his face harder into his arms. “Because I love them,” he whimpered, feeling pathetic. 

He heard the soft thunk of Blazer’s vambraces on the desk, then footsteps that stopped at his side. A hand rested on his shoulder. “You don’t owe them anything. If they don’t want to talk to you, that’s their choice. Don’t let them drag you down. If they don’t think you’re worth the effort, then it’s not a relationship worth stressing over.” Blazer’s voice was much softer now. 

Jax tried to take a breath, but it came out as more of a sob. “But what did I do wrong?” It didn’t make sense that his older brothers would just stop talking to him, so he had to have done something to make them want to stop talking to him. Right?

Blazer grabbed Jax with both hands and carefully guided him out of his chair and onto the floor before pulling him into a tight hug. Jax didn’t have the energy to resist, so he simply buried his face in Blazer’s shoulder. “If you can’t think of anything you did wrong, you probably didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes it’s not your fault when people don’t want to talk to you anymore.” 

“It still feels like it’s my fault,” Jax choked out, clinging to Blazer. 

Blazer simply held him tighter. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

Jax could only cry harder.

[foxgloveinspace]

Andrew Minyard is ADHD:

I said I would only really write this if people were interested, but I lied, lol. WAIT One person liked the og post while I was typing this, so there's interest and it’s justified! Lol.

Ok, I’ve seen other posts talking about this, but some of them used some things that I didn’t agree with, so I’m gonna do my own.

I wanna set the preface of, if you see Andrew as ADHD, awesome! If you don’t, that's great too! In reality, this is all speculation, and self projecting, and my desire for actually good representation of ADHD characters that are not stereotypical, so if you see Andrew as something different, that is completely and totally a-okay.

-ADHD has three types, inattentive (formally known as ADD), hyperactive (previously just ADHD) and combined type. Some people prefer calling it Executive Function Disorder (EFD), because Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder describes how it affects people around ADHDers, more than it affects ADHDers. For the sake of this, I’m going to refer to it as ADHD, because it’s more commonly known, and it’s what I call it for myself. I also acknowledge that according to the timeline, Andrew would probably be diagnosed with ADD (if he ever got diagnosed, that is, which I don’t know if he would or not). Please keep all this information in mind.

Things that would be explained if Andrew was ADHD:

Instead of reason’s I think Andrew is adhd in canon, I mostly have thing’s I think could be explained if he was:

-Why he ‘hates’ exy:

This is a big reason in my mind, he is very insistent he doesn’t like exy and I can explain why he actually doesn’t with him being ADHD.

He started playing in juvie, as something to do, it’s a good way to completely clear his mind and concentrate on something that he is actually good at, which is instant gratification, it's something ADHDer’s experience a lot. It’s one of the main reasons ADHDer’s love video games (if your curious there are videos on youtube explaining this. I am ADHD and this is already overwhelming enough for me than trying to explain this as well).

Andrew only tries at exy when he is in the goal, otherwise he couldn’t give less of a fuck about it. He doesn’t care about stats of other teams, or watching other peoples games, it’s only interesting to him when he’s in the goal or when other people make bets/dares with him; “can you shut down the goal?” “pick a number” playing while coming down from his meds for a long period of time, things like that. Making it interesting, keeping himself engaged with it, is a big thing for him. Again, instant gratification. And also an explanation for why outside of the court, when people try to talk to him about the sport, he doesn’t care, he ‘hates’ it. Cause he does. He hates talking about, that doesn’t interest him. It’s boring and not what gives his brain satisfaction within the sport itself.

-Spending habits (TW: Not sure how to tag this tbh, but Andrew being prepared to die? I’ll put it in double parentheses, just incase):

((While I am of the firm belief that the number one reason that Andrew bought the first car is cause he completely wasn't expecting to live through the crash and then had no idea what to do with that amount of money when he wasn't expecting to live)), ADHD would also explain why he buys such expensive stuff. Again, it's instant gratification. It's like trying to tell yourself to wait for something you really want as an award. What's the point when you can have it now? He goes out and buys the most expensive cars he can cause it scratches that itch in his brain.

- Subcategory to spending, Daredevil:

It could also have to do with going fast. Most 'daredevils' are actually ADHDers. Going fast and doing daring things triggers chemicals in our brains, same as hyperfixations and instant gratification. In fact, that could also be a reason for sparing with Renee as well.

-Zoning out:

Ask any ADHDer about maladaptive daydreaming, and dissociating. Andrew has been known in canon to lose himself in thought a lot, and stare out in space for extended periods of time. This is very common with ADHD, and while it’s a small thing, it’s something I think about quite a bit, and so I included it.

-Loud Music:

Another way to drown out your own thoughts is to listen to music, and a lot of ADHDers like loud music. Andrew likes loud music while driving fast. This is very ADHD to me.

-His major:

I think this is something else that can be explained with ADHD, as a hyperfixation. Its not something he wants to do with his life, but it's something his brain lets him concentrate on, and therefore, something to do with his time in college, something he doesn't necessarily want to do, and is doing it out of necessity.

-His memory:

Something about adhd is that it is almost always paired with a different thing. Autism and dyslexia are the two most common. So his perfect memory would be something else neurodivergent that could be paired with his ADHD.

-Attachment issues/RSD:

Andrew keeps everyone at arm's length, and while this can be a part of his past, it can also be combined with RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Which can mean any sort of negative attitude towards you can send you into a spiral. So Aaron not being understanding of their deal/promise and pushing him away would be devastating to him on a whole other level, one that feels right for how he acts in canon. But on the other hand he can't let go of Aaron because he is already attached to him. 

Again with Nickey, he's someone that's been in his life for so long it would be devastating for him to just up and leave, especially to an eighteen year old. He would never tell him this, because of RSD, and if Nickey decided to leave despite that, it would have been very devastating to him and Nickey would have never been allowed back into his life, so that would be the number one reason for Andrew to get Nickey into college with him.

ADHDers are also very quick to get attached to people, something we see with Andrew is that once he has decided someone is 'his' he is unshakable in his loyalty.

I hate going into it, but that would be another reason for how he is with Cass, why he is so desperate to stay, despite what is happening in the back ground.

-Emotions:

I know Andrew has reasons for being emotionally distant, but when he feels emotions in canon, anger, he is quick to it, and feels it fully to the point he can't control it. It's very common in ADHD to have no control over how you react to your emotions unless you spend a lot of time doing it, like Andrew has.

-Long Weird Conversations:

The way he talks to Renee, and then Neil, where they jump around from subject to subject, with no discernable connection to the subjects. Like, that's stereotypical ADHD, but one that actually ADHDers relate to. 

-Sensory things:

Things in canon that Andrew does/likes that scream sensory issues or stimming:

-Stimming:

Likes extreme foods (sweet and spicy things).

Has comfort objects (arm bands, while I know they were to hide his scars, I feel like the fact that they don't bug him even in extreme weather is a major factor in them being a weighted stim for him).

Smoking (I don't know how to describe how this is a stim for Andrew, but it is?).

-Sensory Issues (I know most of these have canon reasons, but I wanna say they could be heightened by ADHD, so keep that in mind):

Not eating around other people/eating in small bites. (Hating food textures is a common thing for ADHDer’s).

Being a light sleeper/taking forever to fall asleep. (Brain won't shut off/be quiet).

Wanting a routine but simultaneously hating it. (His love/hate relationship with exy. He never complains about getting up for practice, that Neil mentions, but is constantly hating how repetitive it is. Going to Eden's almost every Friday, where it's the same place but different every time without being too different.)

That's all that I can think of right now. I tried to not mention anything that happened while Andrew was on medication, so the whole 'keep my attention' doesn't really count in my opinion.

Thank you for reading, and maybe I might come back to this and add more someday, but for now it's finished.

In conclusion: Andrew being ADHD makes a lot of sense within canon.

[itstittycitybaby]

V with a S/O who has ADHD HCS

A/N: my adhd has been messing me up lately so here we are lmao. this is kinda based off of me but i will try to be more inclusive for anyone else that has adhd. honest to god as im writing these im starting to tear up and wanna cry LMAO

Warning: talking about ADHD. Normally I wouldn’t put a warning for something like this, but I have trauma that is tied to my ADHD. So for anyone else with ADHD that gets triggered by RSD or the symptoms talked about here, I advise you to skip this post. Thank you and stay safe!

I think we all know by now that V is very supportive and loving

ADHD is something he might understand the basic concept of but doesn’t really know how to help with

You’re gonna have to sit down with V and explain to him some of the behaviors that comes with having ADHD

Like hyperfixation, RSD, maybe some sensory issues etc.

V will be understanding and will try to be there for you

Interested in something new? This man will listen to you ramble about it and rant for hours. He’ll actually stay engaged too!

“I’m not annoying you with this am I? If you’re not interested it’s fine really.” “My darling, I love to hear you speak. Especially when you are delighted about something.”

He will not taunt you for being excited about something or make fun of you for anything you might do

One of my many fidgets is pacing for hours on end. Literally just walking around my place all day every day. 

Any fidget you have V will not mock you for it. 

Either from pacing like a mad man, messing with your hands, patting your thighs, whatever it is this man isn’t going to judge you

Though, if it’s a fidget that’s harmful V will not be okay with that

If you have RSD (Rejection Sensitive Disorder), V is going to be a bit surprised at your outbursts and concerned

For me I cry whenever this happens so if you do cry V is going to be worried

That is until you explain to him what the cause is

He’ll still be concerned but will try to understand

With RSD you tend to be more sensitive to people’s behaviors and emotions

If V seems upset with you or makes a light hearted joke about you, you’re gonna overthink about it

He doesn’t mean it to be harmful he’s used to playful banter

If V sees that it’s bothering you though he will apologize and won’t do it again

If you have any sensory issues V will be careful not to overload you

I am very sensitive to touch and how things feel. I am a picky eater because of this and I am very picky about certain blankets, clothes, or anything that involves touch

V is going to make sure that whatever foods, blankets, or anything you cannot stand, isn’t at the shadow gallery

He won’t make you eat stuff you can’t eat, he will give you whatever blankets you’d like

V wants you to be comfortable and wants to help you whenever your senses do overload

Same thing with hearing sensory: V is quiet in general so there’s not too much to worry about

However if there’s a certain noise that triggers you or bothers you he will refrain from making that noise

I think anyone else with ADHD has that one memory or experience of being told you’re too annoying/obnoxious 

Usually this comes from excitement or just being happy in general so you can’t really focus on too many things besides that excitement or whatever activity you’re doing

V find it endearing; he loves to see his darling get excited about something even if they’re being a bit too loud

He also doesn’t want to deflate you

People with ADHD hyperfixate on something(s) and it’s all they can think about

So whenever you get into something you block out everything except the thing you’re fixating on

You forget to eat, sleep, shower, any self care is out the window along with the time that passes

V will gently prod you to eat and take a break

He knows it’s not your fault you literally just forget 

If you have trouble focusing on something V will either make you step back and breath for a bit until you can grasp it with a clear head

Or he’ll make you coffee so you can focus more and then carry you when you crash right after

ADHD is something that isn’t seen as important or worthy of talking about. It’s gotten better but there’s still room for improvement. I encourage you to learn more about it and if you are interested my inbox is always open! I didn’t go into it as much but this post is very long. There’s a bunch of stuff I didn’t mention which I’m sorry for. This was a bit triggering for me to write because of my trauma ADHD has caused. So anyone else out there that deals with the same thing (ADHD or not), I see you and I hear you. You are just as valid as the next person and I hope that you are not hard on yourself.