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blkpnkwriting · 7 years ago

Text

bad for you

part i. / part ii. / part iii.

bad!girl Rosé x Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drug use, mentions of violence, blood, and injury

Word count: 5,499

“Fuuuck.”

Light slatted through the blinds of your bedroom. You think it’s your bedroom.

Cracking your eyes, you groaned again, the feeble morning light still too strong for your sensitive eyes. Yup, it was your bedroom. Which was strange because you couldn’t remember how you got there. Why did you feel so gross?

Rolling in your sheets, you blinked at the Tylenol sat on your nightstand beside a bottled water. For a moment, you couldn’t understand how it got there. Then it slowly dawned on you.

Rosé.

You sat up quickly, flinching at the onslaught of pain in your head. But you wanted to know if she was still there, in your apartment. With you. A scan around the room proved she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. You popped a couple Tylenol and chugged some water before getting up and heading into your small living room.

Where she couldn’t be found.

That's okay, you reasoned. It was probably for the best anyway. Last night was a mess and it was guaranteed that you made a fool of yourself. Now you’d never be able to see her again, not after that. They probably noted that you didn’t quite fit in with their people, couldn’t handle your liquor like they could, just generally wasn’t what they expected. At least, that’s what you thought about it. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Now you had to pick up the pieces of your heart you felt chipping away at the thought of not seeing her again.

What a horrible first... and last date.

You sunk into your couch cushions, sighing with relief at knowing you had the day off and could recuperate from your hangover in peace. Sipping your water, you turned on the TV for something to occupy your mind, distract you from your embarrassment, and surfed the channels before that too bored you.

A chime from your bedroom resulted in yet another groan. You pinched the bridge of your nose as you stood up, skulking into the room and grabbing the damned device.

rosè 😈 🚬 😘

It felt like you were going to fall down. It was as though your hangover dissipated... it hadn’t, but you were so ecstatic that you could forget about it. A smile spread across your cheeks, and you opened your phone to the text message.

There was already several messages waiting for you, and you swore under your breath when you realized just how late in the day you slept in. No wonder she tried multiple times to get a hold of you.

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 ur key is hidden behind ur apartment plate btw sleep well!!!

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 i dont wanna be THAT girl but can u text me when u wake up???

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 ok but seriously r u alive

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 i know where u live & if u dont text me back soon im coming over

That was the most recent message, and as much as you wanted her to come back, to apologize for everything last, and to maybe play up the hangover so she could cuddle you, you didn’t want to trouble her.

You Yeah yeah I’m awake but definitely not kicking

You sat back down on your couch with much more enthusiasm than you had just a couple minutes ago. Legs balled up under you, you waited for the next message. It came quickly.

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 u shouldnt try to drink as much as me next time 😉

You Nice contact name btw, really captures your character

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 actually i put my number in & u told me it was boring so i had to put some emojis on

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 u legit forced me

You I regret nothing

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 thats surprising

Oh god, she was mentioning last night. You picked at the collar of your shirt --- which you don’t remember changing into --- and hid your sheepish smile as you continued typing.

You Yeah... about that

You I’m sorry about... anything that I did, really. I was really drunk

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 dont be!!! you were hilarious actually & i had a great time

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 especially when u put ur hands down my skirt 😉

You stared down at the words on your screen and felt the color drain from your face. You did what? Now that you thought about it, you remembered the stumbling idiot you were as she dragged you out the back of the bar, how she piled you onto her motorcycle, and how even though you leaned against her back with all your weight, she still wanted to you hold onto her.

And yes, you did put your hands down her skirt. She grabbed your arms to make sure you would hold on and you took the initiative to warm your hands in the space beneath the waistband of her skirt and whatever shorts she had underneath.

This time, you did smack your forehead for real, and then regretted the action as it sent a agonizing pulse through your skull. The hangover was still there alright.

You Wow. I went right for the money, didn’t I? 🙈

You And after how you nice you’ve been. I didn’t properly thank you for the drinks last night. I mean... you did pay for them, right???

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 lisa paid for them lol were friends with the owner & jennie was pissed that she blew like 200 last night on free shit

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 besides that dont mention it 😘

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 thank u for letting me treat u right

The text had you halting again. It was such a strange thing to say. Again, you thought about how she reacted to your compliments and how she seemed to brush them off, like she didn’t know how to respond at all. Like no one told her how beautiful she was enough. Now this? She was thanking you for letting her be nice to you.

It made you sad all over again. There was something you didn’t know about Rosé and it was important. But you had gotten this far, and you knew one thing for certain.

You were hooked and there was no going back.

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 ur different

You didn’t have much of a chance to respond, but there she was already texting again.

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 i sound totally weird saying this but ur different & i like that

rosè 😈 🚬 😘 ur not like anyone ive met before

There wasn’t a whole lot you could respond with, and if you could, you would just send her the blush you felt spreading up your neck and across your cheeks. So she did like you. The same way you like her. It wasn’t all in your head, a game some pretty and free-spirited girl was trying to play on you.

You I could say the same for you, Rosé

Rosé never responded after her last series of messages.

It worried you at first, but you rationalized that she had other things to do with her life, and as much as you wanted to spend all your time with her, she couldn’t do the same. In fact, you didn’t know what she did with her spare time. You knew she loved her motorcycle, and probably ripped around on it a lot, but she had to have some way to pay for the gas and upkeep. Not to mention her rough group of friends to keep in control. It was like she was their logic or something. That, or she didn’t quite fit in. Which you didn’t mind, because it meant you didn’t have to worry about her getting arrested or getting in a bar brawl.

You spoke too soon, however.

Another boring day sat behind the register with only a small fan to keep company turned south when Lisa entered. Apparently, she didn’t have a motorcycle of her own or else you would have at least expected one of them to come waltzing in after the rambunctious noise.

At first, you were excited to see her. But then your smile faltered, and any joke you had prepared on the tip of your tongue was quickly dissolved.

A nasty cut split her lip just above her labret piercing and gone was her usual hyper demeanor. She did grace you with a small smile at least as she stepped up to the counter, but then she was leaning on the glass display, holding her face in her hands with a low, drawn-out groan of discontentment.

“Lisa, are you okay?” you asked, concern lining your voice. She lifted her head and you could properly see her lip. It was totally busted, but didn’t look too bad on her as far as attraction went. Sort of fit the rogue role you pinned her with. Probably still hurt like a bitch, though.

“Could be worse,” she muttered. A finger with chipped pink nail polish traced a lotto ticket underneath. “Could be better. A fight broke out at the bar a couple nights ago. Pretty dicey shit.”

“What happened?” you pressed. You didn’t want to outright ask about Rosé, but that was really what you were trying to get at. It could have something to do with the reason why she hadn’t texted you back. Which you seriously hoped wasn’t true.

“Gang rivalries,” she digressed, leaning on one elbow to scan the mostly empty store before facing you again, as if it wasn’t supposed to be talked about in public. “It’s usually okay when they’re in the bar at the same time, but there were a few too many drinks that night and shit was said, blah blah blah. It got out of hand fast, and some dude wanted to grab one of my bottles to make a fuckin’ shank --- like he was still in prison or somethin’. I wouldn’t have it, he got mad at me, started grabbing at me, actually ripped my favorite shirt --- asshole. But... uhm. Rosé stood up to him...”

Dread filled your stomach. It had to be written all over your face because Lisa reached out and took your hand, in a way that was much less flirtatious than in the past.

“Don’t worry about her. She’s okay. Just banged up a little, but Jisoo has been taking care of her. Trust Jisoo, she’s a good one, a close friend of ours. Doesn’t involve herself with all that shit, just so happens to hang around Jennie a lot. A lot.” There was a flash of the old Lisa you had seen at the bar in the way she winked at the innuendo, and even though you didn’t know either of the girls she spoke about, you still giggled at the gossip.

“I’m just picking up some cigarettes for Rosie,” Lisa said, back to business. She let go of your hand, which was nice. You didn’t want to have to reject her again. Instead, she twisted her piercing a little as habit, then flinched at the pain, as it appeared to be swollen since she got hit in the mouth. “She didn’t want me to come here and bother you about it, but I thought you should know anyway.”

“Thank you, Lisa. Seriously,” you replied, nodding your earnesty. You knew where to look now to grab her Luckies from the compartments, but you stilled before handing them over. A market sat to the side, and you took it without questioning it. On the back of one of the packs, you stole a second to write a quick message.

Get better soon... I miss you.

You tried to slide them across the counter for Lisa to have on the house just like she had done for you, but she refused. Unfurling your fingers, she forced a couple bills into your hand and then snatched the cigarettes before you could do anything else, jumping away with a cackle. She blew a kiss at you and you rolled your eyes, then she was out the door. It didn’t seem like there was much that could destroy that girl’s spirit completely.

There was no way you were going to be able to stop thinking about Rosé, though. Somewhere. Hurt. Laid up to rest. And then hopefully smiling when she finds your message on her cigarettes.

“Sir, I really can’t stay!”

Your boss actually stamped his foot like a toddler. And he was an older man, divorced and all.

“I have no one else willing to cover the shift, so you’re going to have to!” he insisted. He glanced at a small watch on his wrist like he was in a time crunch, and then waved at you. “It’s extra pay, you shouldn’t be complaining.”

“It’s a double shift,” you tried to explain. You were up bright and early and now you were tired, how hard was that to understand? “I have other plans. I actually have a life outside this job.”

“Well, if you want to keep this job, you’re going to stay,” he deadpanned. The argument was coming to a close and you were on the losing side. Fucking dickhead.

“Just put... that other guy on. It’s not like he does anything anyway, since all he does is sit on his phone here.”

“Y/N, I’m not going to do anything,” your boss spat, sliding his wallet into a pocket, preparing to leave. “You’re going to stay if you want your paycheck. Now, I have to go ---”

You wanted to scream at him. He had you pulling ridiculous hours ever since you started working here some odd months ago. You were the only capable employee of this shitty convenience store, and the owner was never even around to take care of it himself, case in point. Was it really even worth all this trouble? There was a time you would have taken the punishment without a fight. Before, there wasn’t even a life to speak of. This would have been your whole life. But you didn’t want that anymore, and truth be told, you didn’t want this job either.

“You know what?” you snapped, bringing back the owner’s attention. There was a displeased expression on his face, like he’d rather be anywhere else. That wasn’t going to happen. “I fucking quit. You can take your stupid, ugly ---” you yanked the polo over your head, leaving you in a thin camisole, and threw it at him. “Shove it up your ass! Maybe you’ll even fit it over that big head of yours that’s stuck up there too, and wear it!!”

The rush of adrenaline had you feeling all flighty, but the look on the guy’s face was everything to you and you certainly didn’t want to miss even a second of it. He remained there, frozen, mouth agape. You prided yourself in this feat and felt more coming to the surface.

“That’s enough,” a voice said in your ear. Fingers curled around the crook of your elbow, pulling you away.

You knew who it was before you even had to look.

Outside, you swore in an exhale, kicking the ground as you walked to the black motorcycle waiting for you both. There went your last paycheck, and now you were wondering how you were going to pay for rent. You were about to swing over the back of the motorcycle when Rosé stopped you again, turning you to face her.

“Are you okay?” she asked, genuine concern in her voice and in the way she ducked her face in front of you to garner your attention. You were beyond relieved to see Rosé, even more so without a scratch from what you could see, but you were seething with frustration. Her hands ran up and down the sides of your arms in a soothing manner, her palms smooth. After a moment, she brought a hand to lift your chin up, meeting her eyes. “Hey, talk to me.”

“I’m fine, he didn’t do anything,” you muttered. The want to push her hand away from your face was present, but at the same time, you reveled in the fact she was showing so much affection. You really should be asking about how she felt after her fight, but she seemed far more focused on other things.

“Let’s get you out of here,” she said, reaching over to grab the spare helmet that was beginning to feel more and more like yours. “I know just the place, don’t worry. Just enjoy the ride, let it clear your head.”

You wordlessly took the helmet and clambered on behind her. Inside the store, you could see the owner arguing on his cellphone, arms gesturing around and in the air. It made you smile knowing you put him in a pinch just as willingly as he was going to throw you under the bus. Served him right. He looked up just as Rosé revved the bike, a vicious noise echoing in the lot, and you knew he could hear it. You waved, and he flipped you off, but you were already peeling off the cement.

The ride was a blur. You rested the side of your helmet against the back of Rosé’s jacket, listening to the way it chattered against the studs embroided on this particular garment she wore today. It felt way more natural than the first ride did, and you didn’t even mind the fact that your hands were laced around her middle, resting just below her navel, a throwback to that drunken night. Every once in awhile, her hand would drop and cup the outside of your knee, pressing you close like she was hugging you while she drove. You enjoyed the gesture, but did nothing to return it. You saw the scenery change without processing it. All you were thinking about, so grateful about, was that you were holding Rosé again. After what felt like weeks that were just days, you were so ready to see her again. It had been too long.

You blinked and you had no idea where you were. Rosé slowed your ride, weaving up a small unkempt track, dense woods surrounding you. It was only afternoon but it felt more like dusk here. A canopy stretched out overhead, casting shafts of sunlight sporadically upon the rocky road. Abruptly, Rosé swerved off to the side, rolling to a stop behind some brush.

“What are we doing here?” you asked after removing your helmet.

Rosé slid off her seat, helping you down, and then took off her headgear. She did the same routine of fixing her hair and adjusting the ripped shorts she wore today, then answered you. “I brought you to my favorite place.”

You glanced around at nowhere in particular. The woods?

The puzzlement was written all over your face, and Rosé giggled. It was adorable enough to bring a smile to your face for the first time since she showed up, and you continued to look at her timidly excited expression as she took your hand and began to lead you through the foliage. After a few steps, you realized there was the faintest of paths, probably worn by Rosé herself. She didn’t say anything else, crooked smile in place. You were content just holding her hand for the first time, walking through the emerald trees. It was scenic, for sure. The sound of birds chirping, echoing through the vast space, the shuffle of leaves underfoot, a crack of a fallen branch. There was no one else around, just the two of you. The sudden realization had a spark igniting in your stomach, and you let your hair fall around your face to curtain your flushed cheeks.

The random appearance of an abandoned tennis court was totally unanticipated.

Nature had claimed it back for the wild. Vines tangled in the chainlinks, dirt and debris darkening the previous green texture of the court. The net was slashed rather than stolen, hanging limp at their respective posts. The singular umpire chair had been knocked to its side, splintered and covered in cobwebs. It was obvious that it had been long forgotten.

Except by Rosé. You could see as you approached the fence a section on one end of the court where someone had brought a broom and had cleared away a spot for a blanket. There was no doubt that she had planned this, for you or simply for herself.

“Where are we?” you whispered. For some reason, it felt like you had to.

“An abandoned development,” Rosé spoke. She brought you to a portion of the fence that had been cut and pried away. The thought of a delinquent Rosé showing up with a set of bolt cutters was oddly appealing. “Someone intended to build a luxury condominium out here, away from the bustle of the city, but it fell through a long time ago. I don’t know much else, but it’s been here since I can remember. It’s my favorite place to go to escape... everything.”

The way she finished had you casting a curious glance in her direction, but she didn’t bother meeting your eyes this time. There was that feeling that she was hiding something again, like she knew everything about you but refused to tell you anything about her. For once, it pecked at your heart, making you a bit angry.

Of course you couldn’t stay angry at her for long, and it dissipated the second she brought you to the blanket and motioned for you to sit. The blanket had to be cleaned regularly because it felt so plush underneath your hands as you folded onto it. Rosé joined you once you were comfortable, stretching out those long legs of hers and reclining back on her hands, sighing deeply. Her eyes fluttered closed and you were given the opportunity to just gaze at her. She was so stunningly beautiful, and you wondered briefly how you ever ended up with her.

“I figured you could use this place too,” she whispered without opening her eyes. She looked so peaceful, and she was right. It was so quiet out here, save the natural sounds of the woods providing ambiance. You laid down on your back, arms tucked under your head, and gazed up at the sky. Despite having been overgrown, the trees hadn’t grown close enough yet to construct their canopy. There was the gentle warmth of the sun stretching to reach you in your little cove. It would be growing dark in a couple hours, and you mused about what Rosé would come up with to give you light.

“Are you feeling well?” she asked, interrupting you daydreaming. You nodded, no words needed. Above you, she smiled, turning her attention down to you. “You looked lost for a second. I guess you like it here.”

“I do,” you admitted, eyes shifting to her lips, then her eyes. “Are you okay? I haven’t seen you for like, a week.”

At that she chuckled, looking away again, out to the distance. “Yeah, it’s all good. Just got involved with that dumb shit again. Like usual with those guys.” A finger poked you in the ribs, evoking a laugh. “I got your message --- thank you.”

“I was worried,” you confessed. You didn’t want to hide how you felt when it came to hearing about how she was hurt. “Lisa said it was nasty.”

“Could’ve been worse.” Rosé shrugged. It was something they both said to you now. Just another casual occurrence apparently. “You never know what’s going to happen there. Tensions have been high recently, what with a lot of the gang members falling apart. Loyalty doesn’t mean much to people these days.” There was a pause and you swore you saw something flit across her features. “It means everything to me.”

“That’s because you’re a good person,” you stated, sitting up onto your forearms to garner her attention. All you got was a jagged swallow, as though what you said didn’t sit well with her. “You know that, right?”

Rosé looked at you suddenly, and before you could ask about the tears in her eyes, she was gasping out, “Am I really?”

“Why not?” you countered, the need to justify boiling in your chest. “You’ve been nothing short of... fuck, just amazing to me. I couldn’t care less about the people you hang around or any of that other shit. You’re a good person, Rosé.” You said it like you were trying to drill it into her head.

The red-blonde blinked back her tears, swallowing again, avoiding your gaze. She took a moment to breathe. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“I don’t need to!” You sat up the rest of the way, twisting to face her properly. Still, she didn’t meet your eyes. She was looking somewhere else beside you to keep from losing her composure. “I may not have known you for long, and I may not know a lot about your life, but I know how I feel when I’m around you. I trust you. You can tell me all about you, what you’ve done, what you plan to do, but whatever you say won’t change that simple fact.”

When Rosé looked at you again, it was with that look. That look, a concoction of amusement, surprise, and puzzlement --- like she had you all spelled out in her head and you suddenly jumbled it all up. That look she gave you when you told her you didn’t like her smoking instead of keeping the opinion to yourself. That look when your facade gave a moment and she got to see that shy persona hidden away under the confidence you built with shaking hands. That look...

It was cut off by a bitter laugh, shoulders sinking, glancing at the sky.

“I have great parents,” Rosé started. It was your turn to be surprised, eyes widening a moment. “They’ve never done me wrong, but after everything I’ve done, I feel like I fall short of their expectations. Like I’ve failed them. They tried to give me the best life I could have, encouraged me to do well in my studies and with singing.” That was a neat little fact to tuck away. “It just seems like life has a different plan for me, no matter what they wanted. I guess I’m really easy to frame, put the blame on. It only got bad at the end of high school, and I started getting in fights with kids because they thought they were hot shit and would pick on people who couldn’t stand up for themselves. I have a soft spot for those people, like it’s ingrained in me to protect them. But of course, it made me look like the aggressor, and I would get in trouble for all of it.

“I’ve been arrested once, for aggravated assault. I can own up to that. But since that one time, I’ve vowed to stay out of jail. It wasn’t so bad, I was only in for about a month, and then had to do community service and pay a fuckton of fines. But I didn’t want to be known for that, someone people are scared of being around because I might fuck them up or something... I don’t know. I’ve never gone out of my way to hurt someone if they didn’t deserve it in the first place.”

It felt like there was more she was going to say but she stopped, and you were left in the silence to muddle over all she had just told you. It was a very brief overview, but it was more than you ever thought you’d know about her. Despite it, there was no sense of danger being around her. Rosé would never touch you like that.

“Oh,” she perked up. “I don’t do drugs. I mean, I’ve smoked pot in the past, but all I have nowadays are cigs. That’s for the others, not my style. I have my hands full of blood, not drugs.” Then she laughed, shaking her head, blonde hair highlighted by the low sunrays wisping around her face. “That sounded really bad.”

“I like it.” You hadn’t expected that to come out exactly, but it was true. And it was part of you speaking your feelings, not cowering behind your own thoughts. Rosé lifted her face, eyes shining, and offered you a weak smile. She sniffled and wiped at her nose, such a soft gesture in comparison to the story she had told you. You knew that wasn’t who she was beneath the leather and metal and smoke.

“Well, after it was all said and done, my parents didn’t and I didn’t like disappointing them. So I left. I didn’t want that on them, to deal with a daughter like this. I moved out here, falling easily into the wrong crowd. The only person who really kept me afloat was Jennie.”

“Jennie, the bar owner?” you interrupted.

“Yeah, random, I know,” she chuckled. “I was looking for work and Jennie was the only person who didn’t immediately turn me out on my ass by one look at my record. But she didn’t have any real openings for me. So she made me her financial supervisor.”

“Whoa,” you breathed in astonishment.

“Yeah, I’m really good at numbers and stuff like that. With so much on her hands, owning just about the only bar that houses the roughest and rowdiest, she thought I could help her out with some side work, and that way, it would keep me out of trouble. She saw potential in me. And it really worked out. I’m often busy with her business and it’s a great job. She also really did need the help, so she’s happy I’m around. I’ve been with her for a while now. I met Lisa and Jisoo through her, the only girls --- the only friends --- I’m ever around a lot.

“Don’t get me wrong, they bring around their own drama. Especially Lisa. That girl’s a fucking whirlwind. You know she was there that night at the store?”

“She was?” You could hardly remember anything about that night besides Rosé. When you thought about it, it was always that first impression of the hardened girl walking through the doors and stealing your heart that you remembered.

Then you faltered.

Rosé really has stolen your heart, and you weren’t even privy to this obvious fact.

“Yeah, she walked in with me, remember?” Rosé tried to jog your memory, laughing lightly, unaware of the revelation you were going through. “She told me you were staring and I---”

In retrospect, you would never understand what came over you then.

The kiss was so sudden that you both never expected it. Your heart hammered in your chest so loud, it was all you could hear right before you dove in. It was messy, unsaid words catching between your mouths, teeth crashing against each other’s, and you almost tumbled against her when your hand slipped off the material of her jacket on her shoulder. But it only served to throw your hand on top of hers on the blanket, and as soon as she registered what you were doing, her fingers laced with yours and a hand clasped the back of your head, holding you against her lips.

The kiss became something else. It was so much and not enough and everything you dreamt. The world fell away around you and all that remained was Rosé’s lips, that faint taste of smoke on them, how soft her skin felt against your cheek, between your fingers, how she tangled up your hair. And her moan that just escaped? You swore you sank further into her.

All this time you entertained your feelings for this bad girl.

But you didn’t know you would fall in love with Rosé instead.

When you opened your eyes again, it was nearly dark. Fading light in the colors of melting cotton candy tinted the horizon. The air was cool but you remained warm, blushing at how close you two had become on the blanket. One of Rosé’s legs had slid between your own, her entire body angled for you. You took a deep breath, the first to reach the depths of your lungs. Every kiss stole a little more air from you, leaving you dizzied. Adrenaline streaming through your veins acted like a drug that numbed anything that wasn’t Rosé.

There was so much that Rosé wanted to say, you could see it in her eyes. Nothing came forth and you knew the feeling of having it jammed in your throat, unable to say a word. The only thing she gave you was a smile, a genuine, unadulterated smile, and you knew there was one thing that you wanted to say to her.

“Rosé...” you whispered, feeling weightless. “I---”

♡ part iii.

#blackpink #blackpink scenarios #blackpink fanfiction #kpop scenarios #girl group scenarios #scenarios #PART II IS HERE !!!#it is the shortest of the three parts #mostly because it's filler #getting to know the characters and such #ENJOY #😘

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johnnythirteenguns · 7 years ago

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just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take!

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

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