#i wanna have my degree but also i'm not ready to stop being a student y'know?
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i was gonna make a list of things i need to get done today as a like. "hah! maybe if i put it where other people can see what i need to finish i'll be able to hold myself accountable to completing tasks" but um. there's. there's too many things, i think... :(
#//juri speaks#i need to do stuff for a scholarship and like 3 different things to prep for graduation/final semester in the fall#plus i need to make progress on at least one big end-of-semester project#would LOVE to just knock the grant proposal out but i don't think that's feasible with all the everything else#and THEN there's still laundry and dishes and the litterbox and vacuuming and menu planning and grocery shopping#and i had ALSO wanted to get some crafting done but. i maaaaay not be able to do that today#which sucks#i just wanna have a cool box for all my spell cards >:(#gonna just. go throw laundry in and eat some breakfast i suppose#the graduation stuff should be. easy. in terms of just sending emails and shit but it's terrifying and therefore taxing :\#i wanna have my degree but also i'm not ready to stop being a student y'know?#and once i set in stone that fall is my final semester i'll actually have to start figuring out the practicum stuff#which is DOUBLY scary bc my advisor is. not the most helpful.
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@taznovembercelebration - Despise
You know, Taako was expecting Lup's worse enemy to be… more enemy-ish. Like, he was expecting to walk into the auditorium and see a tall, dark, and (evilly) handsome man who would face down Lup in this very weird, very stuffy academic environment. Granted, Taako had no idea what he was expecting the debate to be like. Lup doing hand-to-hand combat with this guy was certainly not the right vibe, no matter how much Lup seemed to like the suggestion. But nonetheless, Taako was expecting a lot of things to go down. So the guy not even being in the room when they arrived was not even a thought he had begun to entertain.
And yet, here they were.
Lup scoffed, like she had somehow expected this. If this guy was anything like Lup said he was, then it was probably pretty expected. A short man came to bring Lup backstage to get ready and Taako was forced to find himself somewhere to sit. He didn't really wanna be too close to the action because, to be honest, he didn't care all that much. He loved Lup, and he would support whatever endeavor she chose to do, but Taako had stopped giving a damn two weeks into her Necromantic Science degree studies when she brought a dead pig to life in their living room. He chose a seat near the back, just to be safe. He did not want to wager his shirt if he sat in any potential splash zone.
Slowly, more people began to trickle in. Mostly, it was students or other staff members from Goldcliff Magical Academics. One person among them had to be a judge- after all, this debate was to prove that either Lup or Professor Literally-He-Only-Wears-Bluejeans would be fit to work on an expansive Necromancy Related Project. The details had yet to be given out, and Taako had also zoned out most of what Lup had told him about it, so he was a little bit out of the loop on what exactly it was for, but he'd make due. All he knew is that Lup deserved it. And also they needed the money. Over the next half hour, the crowd began to grow, almost to the point that people didn't have a choice to sit in the back anymore, that's just where they had to end up.
The lights flickered to give a five-minute warning for the start of the debate. Taako was neck-deep in Instagram baking reels when a voice next to him said,
"Is this seat taken?"
Taako looked up. There! There was the vibe he was looking for with Professor I-Have-Never-Seen-Him-In-Any-Other-Pants. He had a slight accent to his voice, which Taako was pretty sure was fake. And he was tall, dark, and definitely handsome. Not in an evil way, though, just in a hot way. He was holding a briefcase and wearing a full suit, which, objectively, just made him even hotter. Taako wished he had brought some water with him because his mouth was suddenly very dry. Hot damn.
"No!" Taako said. "No, go for it, my man, the seat's all yours."
Handsome Man took a seat, laying his briefcase out on his lap and opening it up. He took out a clipboard and a pen, writing something down. Taako adverted his eyes back towards his phone but found that watching a random person make the sixth layer for a wedding cake was nowhere near as interesting as it had been a few minutes ago. He shut off his phone, slipping it into his pocket.
"So, uhh," Taako said. Handsome Man looked up. "You into necromancy?"
"You… could say that, yes," Handsome Man said with a dashing smile.
"Well, I mean, you like it enough to take notes, apparently."
"Notes?" Handsome Man said. He looked down at his clipboard and laughed, a little louder than socially acceptable. "Notes! Yes- yes, I'm- Notes, I'm taking notes. You are correct. Sorry, I just-" he tucked a loc that had fallen out of place behind his ear. "I'm a reporter by trade but I usually do, uhm. Online interviews. And such. It's been a while since I, uhm, got back out there! In the world."
"Cool, cool," Taako said. "That's a normal response."
"Th- thank you?"
And, before Taako could come back with any other clever and totally cool, normal quips, the lights dimmed further. A spotlight appeared on the stage and from it, the man who had taken Lup backstage earlier appeared holding a microphone.
"Hey folks, thanks for coming out," he said into the mic. "We'll, uh, we'll get started with the debate shortly, but first, I'd like to welcome our speakers up onto the stage. On the left podium, Professor Lup Loop will be speaking. Professor Loop studied at Rockport University originally, before transferring over to us at Goldcliff MA. She graduated at the top of her class with a Necromantic Science degree and went immediately into our Necromancy Department, first running various experiments, and then turning to teaching later on. Let's give a warm welcome to Professor Loop as she comes on stage."
Taako cheered extremely loud for Lup, because she deserved it. He startled a few people nearby, but Handsome Man just chuckled, which Taako was taking as a win. Lup shook the man's hand when she got to her podium and, when he turned away, she did dab very quickly. There was a wave of snickering through the crowd. Taako sometimes wished they weren't related, but if dabbing was the price he had to pay for Lup to be happy, then so be it.
"And next up, we'll be welcoming Professor Barry Hallwin-"
"Bluejeans!" someone from the audience shouted.
"Professor Barry Bluejeans," the man said, in such a defeated voice. "Professor Hallwinter-" several people booed. "Alright fine, Professor Bluejeans studied at Neverwinter MA originally, earning his degree in Necromantic Science as well as several other smaller areas of studies. Professor Bluejeans worked in Wonderland Labs briefly, though he would like to clarify that he wasn't involved in any of the incidents there-" Next to Taako, Handsome Man grimaced. "-before moving on to the necromancy labs back at Neverwinter MA. Eventually, he moved on to teach at a high school in Raven's Roost before coming here to teach at Goldcliff MA. May we have a round of applause as Professor Bluejeans comes on stage?"
The man who came out from the side of the stage was not at all dark, tall, or, in Taako's particular flavor, very handsome. He looked more like the Pillsbury dough boy than an evil science wizard. And, worst of all, he was, in fact, wearing blue jeans. He had a suit jacket on over them, which was certainly a Look. He looked nervous and flustered and when he looked towards Lup (who was sending him her "I'm killing you with my eyes but I have to be smiling right now" look) he immediately looked away as if one more second would actually kill him. Taako couldn't tell from the distance, but he might have been blushing. Or, it was all the blood going to his head from the obvious amount of mortification he was dealing with right now. Professor Bluejeans did not appear to have a very good stage presence.
And this guy was Lup's enemy? This wet chicken nugget of a man? She despised this guy? He looked like someone could pour soup in his lap and he'd apologize to them.
"Hm," Handsome Man said, writing something down. Taako tried not to grin. Lup was gonna fucking own this guy.
"Alright," the man on the stage said. "Now, for our first question."
Oh. Right. Taako sunk down in his seat a little more. They had to actually get through the debate for Lup to win.
"Is it of moral obligation to reanimate a living creature only when they still maintain their original soul? Professor Bluejeans, you have the stand."
Ughhhh. This was going to take forever.
#taz nc#taz november celebration#blupjeans#kinda !! sldkfs#lup#taako#kravitz#barry bluejeans#taakitz#also kinda !#they're both there at least sldfsd#this one got a lil long sldfsd#n i had to rewrite it bc it got EATEN by tumblr#mine#ise cube writing
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ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ɴᴇʀᴅ ⓟⓐⓡⓣ ①
______________________
ғʀᴀᴛʙᴏʏ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x sʜʏ-ɪsʜ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴜ
(ɪɴᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss)
sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: (two part series!) You’re starting to struggle in class and decide to ask your professor for some tutoring or extra classes to boost your grade. He ends up assigning the last person you’d expect to tutor you. (is it really a surprise though?)
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none in this chapter ;)
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟸.𝟸ᴋ ᴡᴏʀᴅs (sᴏʀʀʏ ɪᴛ’s ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ)
______________________
You stare at your work for what seems like hours before deciding to glance at the clock only to find it’s been 20 mins. This subject was never your strong suit but in order to earn your desired degree, you had to take this class. You’d been putting it off for some time but it’s just better to get it over with then struggle right before graduation. So here you are sitting and staring at the work that just doesn’t seem to make sense.
By the time your professor released the class for the day, you’d barely even lifted your pen from the table.
“Y/n, could I speak to you for a minute?” your professor said, “James, if you could stay as well.”
“What’s up, professor?” Bucky flashed a cheeky smile. The bastard has always been charming since you saw him and especially taking a couple classes with him too. A huge player too of course. I mean what’s a frat boy without getting laid after every party they throw.
“Lemme speak to you first,” he gestured to you, “how is the assignment going?”
You were a bit embarrassed to admit that you were struggling a lot especially in front of Bucky. He’s actually a pretty nice person but not really being a super social one yourself, he tends to intimidate you along with the rest of his friends more than you’d like to admit.
“Well if I’m being honest, I can’t seem to grasp onto the material. I’m really trying but I just can’t,” you practically whispered.
You didn’t want to but you took a quick glance at Bucky to see what he was probably thinking but thankfully he was on his phone; probably giving you as much privacy as he could.
“Well is there anything you like me to do to help in understanding the material? Maybe a tutor?”
“Yes, that would probably be beneficial,” you chuckled.
“Perfect, because James here is one the best students I’ve had,” ok kinda backhanded.
Bucky’s head shot up when he heard his name and quickly put his phone away averted his attention to the professor.
“Right James?”
“Hmm?”
“James here has a 97% in the class. He’s got the highest grade of all my classes,” the professor seemed like a proud father to him. Bucky merely just shook his head, getting really shy almost. Bucky, shy? Weird.
“I don’t think that’s true,” he murmured.
“Nope, 100% true. Your teachers and I talk a lot about you. You’re very gifted, James,” James looked at you completely embarrassed. You stood with wide eyes because you didn’t think frat boys actually took their studies seriously. They’re usually up late with all the parties they throw every weekend and some of them are so indulged into their sports that they probably didn’t have time to get A’s in their classes.
“So what do you say, Y/n? Willing to let him tutor you?”
“I mean if he has time and wants to, I’d be very appreciative of it.”
“Yeah I guess I can,” he smiled.
“Thank you, and thank you too, Professor.”
“Looking forward to that assignment, Y/n. Now scram, kids.”
“Hey thanks for-”
“You can’t tell anyone that I'm tutoring you,” he cut you off, not in a mean way, just panicked.
“Oh ok.”
“I mean it. Look it was already hard getting into the frat house and now being head of house, it’ll be embarrassing if they found out I’m a nerd.”
“What’s so bad about being a nerd?”
“I don’t know. It’s like an unspoken rule I guess.”
“What a nerd,” you joked.
“Whatever,” he chuckled, “So your place or mine?”
“Huh?” you questioned.
“For tutoring? Do you want me to come over?”
“Oh I thought we would do that in the library or something,” you responded.
“I mean we can, I just didn’t know what time and the library closes pretty early.”
“You can come over. I’ll ask my roommate if it’s ok.”
“Ok, let me get your number so we can coordinate.”
“Ok, thanks again, Tom.”
“Yeah, no problem,” he smiled back.
+++
“Girl what are you getting yourself into?” your roommate, Natasha questioned.
“What do you mean?”
“Buck is gonna tutor you? I’m pretty sure he knows jack shit about what is going on in that class.” Right, no one knows he’s practically a genius.
“I don’t know. My professor said he could help me so I’m gonna give it a shot. He can’t stupider than me, especially with this subject.”
“Ok,” she mocked.
“But if he tries anything let me know,” she warned.
“Why would he try anything?” you asked, confused about the sudden subject change.
“Y/n, Bucky is a huge player. He’s hooked up with like more than half the girls in the sorority houses. Hell, even I hooked up with him.”
“Oh my god, what!”
“It was last year when I was in a house. I hated it so I moved out this year. Still friends with Wanda though. You’d like her.”
“Ok well I don’t think he will, I mean look at me.”
“What?”
You hesitated because you weren’t the most confident person. There was nothing wrong with you but there also wasn’t anything special. You were barely a social person let alone some who could easily pursue a relationship or even a hook up.
“I think you’re hot, but something tells me you think otherwise,” Nat said.
“I don’t wanna get into it but just know you won’t have to worry about anything happening.”
You texted Bucky that he could come over whenever he was available and about 30 mins later he was knocking on your door ready to help you with the assignment.
+++
Obviously nothing happened that night, or the night after, or the night after. Or the next four weeks after. Bucky was actually helping you understand the material a lot better. You were still a bit confused but not as much as before. During your sessions you were beginning to learn a lot more things about Bucky like how his childhood best friend Steve Rogers was also a member in the house; and also knows about his prodigy brain.
“How’s the tutoring going?” Steve asked walking into the kitchen where you and Bucky were doing work.
“Good I guess,” you responded.
“Well I’ll uh, leave you two be.”
He didn’t in fact leave but instead start gesturing quite aggressively to ask you more questions to get to know you better. See what you didn’t know was that Bucky had taken even more of a liking to you since starting your study sessions together. He never pursued anything because he didn’t want to scare you and definitely didn’t want you to think that he was taking advantage of the situation you guys were in; you know being your tutor and all.
Sure Bucky was kind of a player but the rumors of sleeping with another girl at every party every weekend wasn’t totally true. He hooked up with a couple girls but he wasn’t a sex addict. And he definitely didn’t leave them high and dry. He would usually meet up with the girls but they didn’t seem to want anything more than a one night stand.
He sort of gave up on finding a relationship and soon after altogether stopped having sex, especially at their parties the boys host every weekend. He definitely wasn’t waiting until marriage but he didn’t want to feel used anymore because that was seemingly the case after each ‘hook-up’ that happened.
When Bucky first saw you in class, he truly thought you the most beautiful girl ever. He quickly caught on to the fact that you were not a social person; you weren’t exactly shy but definitely didn’t initiate conversation. You always kept to yourself in the back of each classroom and quietly did your work. Bucky goddamn fell head over heels for you.
But you two never talked.
Every chance he got to initiate some sort of conversation was quickly taken away whether it’d be the end of class time where you’d briskly leave the classroom to attend your next lecture, or the boys in his house would meet up with him completely interfering with his window to talk to you. And it’s not like you ever went to any of the frat parties.
So he continued to chase you all the while having absolutely no idea one of the most well known and well liked frat boys at the university having this massive giant enormous fat crush on you. And to top it off, now that he’s certainly got all the time in the world to finally get to know you, he freezes up and can only seem to answer your questions… about school.
You didn’t take Bucky to be such an awkward guy. You definitely didn’t think with all the girls that are constantly after him and how charismatic he seemed he would actually be super quiet awkward after the initial ‘Hey, what’s up!’.
You grew a liking to him though because he wasn’t annoying. The majority of guys in the house were pretty loud and obnoxious whenever you got the chance to hear them usually while you were studying in Bucky’s room because again, no one really knew how much of a nerd he really was. But you never actually met the rest of the boys. You’d always managed to sneak out to avoid confrontation about why you're even there.
Speaking of loud and obnoxious frat boys.
“Hey hey hey!” they walked in.
Immediately you and Bucky grabbed all the papers and threw them in your backpack while Steve went out to hopefully stall the boys from coming into the kitchen like they always did after football practice.
As soon as the last paper went inside your bag, the boys walked past Steve into the kitchen to find you and Bucky standing there awkwardly.
“Who’s this?” Tony asked.
“This is a girl in my class, Y/n.”
“Whatcha doing here?”
“She’s tutoring me,” Bucky quickly lied. Ironically.
“Oh man, dude,” one of the boys laughed.
“Well we’ll be out of your hair. Good luck, Bucky and don’t annoy her.”
“We’ll be in my room studying you guys are fine,” Bucky grabbed your arm and took upstairs to his room.
“So they’re fine with you being tutored but not tutoring?” you asked in a mocking tone.
“It’s a weird rule but also a lot of the guys downstairs get tutored too. Like Vis, and Thor, oh Thor. Loki does too and Steve. But if I’m being honest, I do in fact think Bruce and Tony are science nerds. But Tony sleeps around enough to distract from it, not Bruce so much but he’s pretty quiet.”
“Ugh, boys.”
“Anyways, shall we continue?” he chuckled.
“I guess, yeah.”
After about an hour in his room, you ended up leaning out of studying and more into talking and getting to know each other; properly this time.
“And yeah, that’s how my sister’s pants exploded.”
“That’s hilarious.”
There was a moment of silence between you two before it got too awkward and you spoke out.
“I should probably get going.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“I can call a cab. It’s fi-”
“Nonsense,” he interrupted, “I’ll drive you. It’s not a big deal.”
“Are you sure?” you asked.
“Yeah. It’s totally fine.”
You told Bucky your address to your apartment and remained in silence during the majority of the car ride.
“You know I never striked you as a quiet person,” you broke the silence.
“What? I’m not a quiet person.”
“Yes you are. Everytime we have a study session it’s usually silent until I have to ask you a question about something.”
“Well, it’s not my intention to be so awkward around you.”
“Why are you?” you asked him.
“I don’t know,” then it got quiet again.
You arrived at your apartment and unclicked your seatbelt. You turned to Bucky to say goodbye and realized how close you two were. Admittedly you didn’t mind too much; what you didn’t expect was for Bucky to in fact kiss you. He grabbed your arm gently and pulled closer to him as his eyes closed, lips moving against yours slowly. You weren’t exactly mad but you weren’t also happy with this outcome.
Despite Bucky not hooking up with anyone for a long time now and being completely enamored by you, you still believe he was a ladies man because he hadn’t told you otherwise. You didn’t want to be another name added to the list of a frat boy’s one night stands. So you pulled away with slightly furrowed brows and Bucky realized he fucked up.
“Thanks again, Bucky,” you quickly got out of the car, not acknowledging him shouting your name before the car door closed. You ran up the steps to enter your apartment as fast as you can, still feeling the taste of him on your lips and tongue. God why did he have to do that?
Bucky sat in his car for a bit but decided to leave to not bother you and possibly fuck things up more than they already are. He’ll wait for you to come to him so he doesn’t seem invasive. Yeah that’s the plan.
But things don’t normally go to plan right?
#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#bucky#bucky fluff#frat!boy bucky barnes#collage!bucky#collage au
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graduation day pt. 3
fem!reader x finn balor
It’s Christmas now, and Finn and reader have been able to keep their relationship on the down low for four months. That is until the faculty have a Christmas party, where no one’s secrets are safe ... “i really wanna kiss you right now”
word count: 5.3k+
warnings: a former teacher/former student relationship, drinking / being drunk, jealousy, angst, smut, a little bit of public teasing, fluff
— someone wanted a part 3 and this popped up into my head so this is for whoever wanted the part 3. y’all will finally find out where finn teaches in this part .... but part 4? —
masterlist || part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5 || request an imagine here
~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~
“Baby,” Finn whines. “Come on. It’ll be so fun. Everyone is gonna be there. Plus, you’re part of the faculty now because ya are Ver’s assistant.”
He stands in front of you in a suit with red and green Christmas themed tie and sneakers. You love Finn, but the tie he’s wearing is ugly.
You look up at Finn and say, “I don’t think I even have anything to wear, Finn. It’s so last minute. You’re literally on your way to the party.”
Your boyfriend pouts and gives you puppy dog eyes. “Please, Y/N. Pretty please. I’ll never ask ya for something again.”
You giggle and say, “We can’t even be together at the party so why should I go? It wouldn’t be much fun for me because I have maybe two teacher friends, one of which you hate because you think he flirts with me.”
Finn says, “I don’t hate him. He just better learn how to stop flirting with my girl.”
You laugh and say, “I need like forty five minutes to get ready because you caught me off guard.” You’re in your Christmas pajamas. A red cami tank top with Santa’s face on it with red and black plaid pants. Those are your pajamas.
Finn gets happy and excited that you said you were going. You walk back into your bedroom and let Finn into your apartment. You walk to your closet to find something to wear.
You call from your room, “So, is this like a formal event or can I wear a short dress?”
Finn says, “A short dress should be fine. It’s not really formal, I just didn’t know what else to wear so I put on a suit.”
You laugh as you raid your closet.
It takes a good ten minutes before you find a dress that would be acceptable for a last-minute Christmas party.
The dress is a dark red, two piece number. The top of the dress is sparkly with a halter top. The fabric on the back is completely sheer except for the line of the zipper, which runs from the collar down to the bottom of the top. The skirt is a little poofy and ends about halfway down your thighs. The waistband of the skirt is sparkly like the top. A bit of your stomach peeks out between the top and the skirt. You wear a pair of dark red heels to match the dress.
You curl your Y/H/C colored hair and do a red and silver smokey eye look for makeup. You add a little foundation, highlight, and dark red lipstick to complete the makeup look. You put in silver earrings and a silver bracelet that Finn got you for your birthday last month.
You leave your room, walking down the hallway. Finn hears you enter the living room and he smiles when he sees you. “Wow,” he says.
Your face turns a little red and you ask, “Like it?” You do a little spin and the skirt flares out a little bit.
Finn walks over to you and says, “I love it. Ya look stunning, my love.”
You look up at Finn and ask, “So what’s the plan? We can’t walk into the party together.”
He says, “I’ve thought about that. I’m going to park in my usual parking spot. Ya will get out first and I’ll be about five minutes behind ya.”
You giggle and say, “Hm. Smart. Except everyone knows your car.”
“Exactly,” he says. “So we’re taking yours. I’ll drive.”
You blink and say, “That’s also smart.”
Finn laughs and says, “I didn’t become a professor overnight. I went though college and training in Ireland and in the United States.”
You say, “You’ve never explained to me how you became a teacher. Is it different in Ireland than it is here in the States?”
He says, “Not really. I needed my Bachelor’s degree, which I got after four years. Then I had to get a basic teaching credential, which I got after 120 hours of training. I taught in Ireland for three years, until I was 25 before I decided to come over to the States to get my Master’s degree in education, then I was offered a job here once I completed my Florida teaching certificate so I stayed and have been teaching in the States for ten years this year.”
You look up at Finn as he talks. He seems so excited when he talks about going to school in Ireland before coming to the United States to teach. It makes you so happy that he gets excited to talk about his journey from Ireland to the United States.
You wait until he’s done talking before saying, “That’s amazing. It’s crazy how long you’ve been teaching for.”
Finn smiles and says, “Yeah, it is. So, shall we head to the party?”
You nod and collect your things, and by ‘things’ you really mean your clutch, your keys, and your phone.
You and Finn leave your apartment building and the cool breeze hits you.
It’s a warm night tonight in Orlando, Florida. You and Finn will make the short drive to Full Sail University, where Finn teaches and you assist.
Finn drives your car and you play on your phone as he drives. You scroll through Twitter and Instagram.
Your phone begins to ring and you see it’s your mom. Your eyes widen and say, “Crap, I never told my mom I was coming home this Christmas.” You had a flight today but didn’t make it in time, which is why Finn showed up and asked you to come to the party.
Finn glances over at your phone to see your mom calling and he says, “What’re ya gonna say to her?”
“Well I can’t tell her the truth,” you say, answering the phone. “Hey, Mom.”
Your mom says, “Hi, honey. Where are you? You should be home by now.”
You say, “Um, yeah. I missed my flight this morning so I won’t be making it home for Christmas this year.”
“I can book you another flight if you’d like,” your mother says. “It wouldn’t be an issues.”
You internally start to panic and say, “No, it’s okay. I’ll FaceTime you, dad, and Y/S/N on Christmas morning to see everyone open presents and everything.”
Your mom says, “I’ll send yours down to you so you’ll have them before Christmas. They’ll probably be in a big box so be prepared.”
You laugh and say, “Alright, Mom. I’ll talk to you later. I’m on my way to a little get together at the school.”
“Have fun,” your mom says. “Stay safe. I love you.”
You say, “I love you too, Mom.”
She hangs up and you sigh. “Not a complete lie,” Finn says, pulling into his parking spot. You laugh.
He parks the car and he looks over at you. “You’ll be coming in a few minutes?” you ask, looking over at Finn.
Finn nods and says, “I’ll be there in about five minutes.”
You nod and say, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He smiles and nods before you get out of the car. You walk through the parking lot to the gym area.
In your four years as a student, you’ve heard all about the faculty Christmas parties. You’ve heard all the stories of drama that have happened at these parties. You’re hoping that nothing happens this year but you’re not holding your breath.
In the past four months, you and Finn have begun a ‘friendship’ by having lunch in the cafeteria or his office. You’ve tried to stay away from him as much as you can but it’s hard when he’s one classroom over from you.
Veronica, the teacher you’ve been assisting, has kept a close eye on you since day one. She’s very suspicious of something more than just a friendship between you and Finn because of what happened day one in Finn’s office.
You walk into the gym. Faculty members are all scattered throughout and the gym is decorated with Christmas decor. There are tables are covered with red and green covered with a Christmas themed figure in the middle. Lights and garland hang throughout the rafters. Christmas music is blaring in the large room. There’s a small dance floor section. You see a minibar in the corner. So there is alcohol, which makes you happy. You’re 23 so you can drink legally.
You ask for a Coke and vodka at the minibar before you walk around, trying to find anyone you know.
That’s when one of your professor friends comes up to you. Mr. Seth Rollins. History professor.
“Hey, Y/N,” he says, drunkenly wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I thought you were going home for the break.”
You laugh at how drunk he already is before you say, “I was, but then I missed my flight this morning. Someone convinced me to come tonight so here I am.”
Seth smiles and says, “Well, I’m glad you’re here. Come dance with me, Y/N. Have some fun."
You look up at Seth and say, "Alright. One dance."
The two of you walk to the little dance floor area. You sway to the beat of the music with your drink in your hand. Seth makes small talk with you as the two of you dance to Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by the Jackson 5.
A few minutes pass by and you decide to start looking around for Finn. Seth notices that you're distracted and he asks, "You looking for someone? Maybe a boyfriend you invited?" Your eyes shoot to Seth when he says the word 'boyfriend'. "So it is a boyfriend. Do I know him?"
You immediately jump into defense mode and say, "No, it's not a boyfriend. I'm just looking around. I haven't met half these people."
Seth says, "Don't think I haven't seen how close you and Finn Balor are. Always in the cafeteria having lunch. It's a little weird considering that you're his former student."
You stop moving and you look at Seth. You say, "I graduated in May. It's been over seven months. I had you as my history professor in my first year. That's a little weird too."
He opens his mouth to talk and he says, "I won't deny that but you're so much closer to Finn than you are to me. Plus, Finn looks at me weird when I'm around you."
Finn does think that Seth has a thing for you. You look the same way at Veronica when she's around Finn. You two get so jealous sometimes, you won't deny that fact.
"Finn looks at everyone weird," you say. "I don't know if you've noticed that."
As your eyes scan the room, you find Finn. He's standing with Veronica and one of the other English professors, Mr. Kevin Owens. You sigh. Seth looks back to see Finn talking with Veronica and Kevin before looking back at you.
Seth says, "You're either jealous or upset that he's talking to Veronica. I heard what happened when she walked into his office on the first day. You told her off and she's been upset over that for the past four months."
You say, "I'm not surprised. She's been harassing him for a while from what I understand. He's been rejecting her."
He laughs and says, "She's been after him since she got hired. The English Department head loves her. Finn's been saying no to her for years but she won't lay off him. Everyone was shocked when you of all people said something to her."
"How many people know that I said something?" you ask, looking up at Seth.
Seth says, "A lot of people do. I think some people from all departments know what happened. It's not exactly a secret, Y/N."
You facepalm and say, "Great."
After a second, Seth says, "Oh, shit."
You look up at Seth. "What?" you ask. "What's happening?"
"Veronica is all over Finn," he says. "Kevin left and it's just the two of them. He's pushing her away from him."
You turn and look at Finn. Veronica is all over him. Kevin is walking away from them. Anger rises inside of you.
Seth says, "For someone who isn't your boyfriend, you're sure acting like he is. You look so mad, Y/N."
You look at Seth and say, "Excuse me for a second, Seth." You walk toward Finn. Your boyfriend looks over at you and says something to Veronica. She looks over at you and rolls her eyes.
Finn looks at you and says, "Y/N, nice to see ya."
"You too, Finn," you say, looking at him. "You looked like you could use some help." You look over at Veronica, glaring at her. "No offense."
She forces a smile and says, "Full offense taken."
Seth walks up beside you and asks, "Everything okay over here?"
You look at Seth then look at Finn. Veronica says, "Everything's fine. Just making polite conversation. Nothing to be worried about."
Finn is staring at Seth. In Finn's defense, Seth is standing a little too close to you for comfort.
Seth snaps his fingers and says, "Oh, Veronica, I wanted to talk to you about something so can I borrow you for a second?"
She nods and walks off with Seth. When they're out of sight, Finn takes your wrist and walks with you outside the gym. "Finn," you gasp as you walk after him. "I'm in heels. Slow down."
The two of you walk around the building and Finn looks down at you. "Why is Seth hanging around you?" he asks.
"He walked up to me," you say. "I was getting my drink and he asked me to dance. I could ask you the same question. Why is Veronica hanging around you?"
Finn says, "She walked up to me as soon as I walked into the room. It's like she was staring down the door and waiting for me to walk in. Why? Is someone jealous?" He raises his eyebrows at you.
You say, "Every chance she gets, she's all over you. I'll tell her off again, I swear to God, Finn. I will. I'll throw her across the damn room if I have to."
He laughs and says, "Stay around me tonight. I want to make sure ya don't throw her across the room."
You pout and say, "I'm not complaining about being around you but I still want to throw her across the room."
Finn leans down and pecks your lips before he says, "Relax, Y/N. Ya won't want to throw her across the room in a few minutes."
Confused, you tilt your head at Finn and ask, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"That's for me to know and for ya to find out," Finn says. "Come on. Let's head back inside before it looks suspicious that I dragged ya out here."
You nod and head back into the gym with Finn. You walk with Finn to one of the tables. He pulls out a seat for you and you sit down, scooting closer to the table with Finn's help. He sits beside you and says, "Feeling better?"
You nod again and say, "Much."
Right at that moment, Seth and Veronica walk over. Seth sits on the other side of you and Veronica sits on the other side of Finn. You sigh softly and take a large gulp of your drink.
"Everything okay?" Seth asks, seeing you take the large sip of your drink.
You say, "Everything's just peachy."
After you say that, you feel Finn's hand on your knee under the table. The red table cover hides his hand on your knee.
Finn asks, "So what did the two of you need to talk about?"
Seth replies by saying, "I was going to come by and talk about the history behind the book she's going to be assigning her class to read in a few weeks."
"What book would that be?" you ask, looking at Veronica.
She says, "The Diary of Anne Frank. We analyze that book like no tomorrow. Usually, I have one of the history professors come in and talk about the historical context behind the Holocaust and everything. Seth knew this so he asked if he could be this year's speaker."
You look at Seth and say, "Oh, really? Well, I look forward to seeing you come to class in the future."
Finn's hand slide up your thigh under it's right under your skirt. You take another sip of your drink to wash away the nerves. Finn's never touched you when you're at the school, except for the three times you've had sex in his office since graduation day last May.
Seth says, "I do as well."
You finish your drink and look at the ice in the cup. You say, "I'm going to go get another drink. I'll be right back."
You start to get up and Finn's hand slides off your thigh.
"I'll come with ya," Finn suddenly says. "I've been needing a drink myself." He stands up and walks with you to the minibar.
You ask, "What do you think you're doing, Finn? You can just put your hand on my knee like that."
Finn stands beside you at the minibar as you order another Coke and vodka. He leans down and says in your ear, "I did and I will again."
You're handed your refilled drink and look over at Finn. "You're being very touchy-feely tonight and it better stop unless you want the relationship coming out into the open."
He says, "I'm a little drunk and a little jealous that Seth can just openly flirt with ya."
"Now you know how I feel," you say, sipping your drink. "We both get a little jealous, don't we?"
Finn secretly leaves a few soft kisses to your jawline as he says, "I'll lead to some really hot, jealous sex tonight."
You giggle and say, "If you're that lucky. You won't be lucky if you keep kissing my jaw when our co-workers are around."
He smirks and says, "Touche, my love."
After the little conversation that left your core aching for Finn, you head back to the table. Clearing your throat, you sit back down.
You cross your legs under the table in case Finn gets any ideas. His hand goes back to its spot on your thigh when he's settled next to you.
You, Finn, Seth, and Veronica make small conversation.
Veronica asks, "So, Seth, have you been seeing anyone recently? Or have your eye on someone?"
Seth looks directly at you and says, "I have my eye on someone. I don't think she feels the same though."
Finn grips your thigh a bit after he slides it up a bit. You gasp and cough to cover it up. You take a sip of your drink.
"What about you, Y/N? Dating anyone or talking to anyone?" Veronica asks, eyes staring into your soul.
You say, "I'm dating someone but it's none of your business who it is."
Seth nudges me with his elbow and says, "Tell us about him. What's he like? Does he go to school here?"
You look over at Seth and say, "He's not from around here. He's from Europe. France, actually. He's home visiting his family for the holidays."
Veronica says, “Oh, wow. What’s his name?”
Quickly, a name pops into your head. “Francis Blanchet,” you say. Finn’s initials. F.B.
Finn snickers under his breath. Seth asks, “What’s so funny, Finn?”
“Nothing,” he says, pulling his phone out quickly. “Just got a funny text. That’s all.”
Veronica says, “Well, I have my eyes on someone.”
You shoot a glare as Veronica and say, “We’re all aware that you stalk Finn because you’re in love with him.”
Finn and Seth both stare at me as Veronica says, “You’re acting like you’re in love with him or something.”
I am, you think to yourself but you say out loud, “I have a boyfriend in France and Finn never told us if he was dating anyone.”
All three of you look at Finn. He looks at you and says, “I am.”
“There we go,” you say, glaring at Veronica. “Stop chasing a man who’s taken.”
Finn gets up and says, “Alright. I’m diffusing the situation before it gets too out of hand so, Y/N.” You look up at him. “Come dance with me.”
You get up and take Finn’s offered hand that he held out to you after he asked you to dance. Veronica’s jaw drops and asks, “What about me?”
“You sound like a five-year-old and you’re, what, 35?” you ask. “Grow up”
Finn walks away with you, hand in hand.
Snow in California by Ariana Grande is playing. There are a lot of pairs on the dance floor so you walk to the other side, out of sight of Seth and Veronica.
Finn takes you in his arms and you wrap your arms around his waist, both of you swaying to the music.
He’s looking down at you and you look up at him. Finn’s face is close to yours and he says, “Ya are jealous.”
You smile and say, “Maybe a little. She’s claiming you like you’re hers.”
“I’m yours, my love,” Finn says to you. “All yours. I may not show it a lot when we’re here at school but I do love ya. A lot.”
You stare up into Finn’s eyes and you say, “I really wanna kiss you right now.”
Finn’s tongue swipes over his bottom lip and he says, “I really wanna do more than just kiss ya right now. Our little conversation earlier made me a little too excited.”
You bite your lip lightly and say, “Let’s head out soon and we can go to whoever’s place is closer and you can do more than just kiss me all night long.”
He nods and says, “Ya leave in a half hour and I’ll follow behind ya after about ten minutes.”
You nod and pull yourself closer to Finn, staring up at him.
Someone clears their throat and taps you on the shoulder. You turn and see Seth Rollins. “Can I get a dance?” he asks innocently.
You look up at Finn and he has a jealous look in his eyes but he says: “Sure. Find me after, Y/N.”
He hands you over to Seth and walks off. You look up at Seth and he says, “I’m surprised that he said yes. I thought he was gonna kill me right then and there.”
You say, “He’s a little possessive of me. I mean, look around the room. I’m the youngest person in here. He just wants to make sure I’m safe.”
Seth says, “I do too, but if you were my girlfriend then I wouldn’t leave your side.”
You stare up at Seth and say, “For the last time, Finn and I aren’t-”
“Cut the bull,” he says, cutting you off. You close your mouth. “When Ver said that you were acting like you were in love with him, you muttered ‘I am’. I heard you. The way you look at him, I wish you’d look at me that way.”
Seth looks behind you and you glance behind you. Veronica is trying to kiss Finn and you look at Seth. You say, “I can’t do anything without it looking suspicious.”
Seth says, “I’ll handle it.”
He turns to walk away before you take his wrist, saying, “No. I’ll handle it. I don’t care anymore.”
You walk over to Veronica and Finn. You look at Finn and say to Veronica, “What would Finn’s girlfriend think if she found you were moving in on Finn. She's not here but imagine if she walked through that door and saw you trying to kiss her man."
Veronica looks at you before she asks, "What would your boyfriend think if you were defending Finn like you were the one dating him?"
Finn looks over at you and says, "Because she is the one dating me."
You, Seth, and Veronica all look at Finn. Finn smiles and says, "She's Finn's girlfriend." You smile when he refers to himself in the third person. "And I am head over heels for her."
He walks over to you and you stare up at him. Seth smiles behind you as Veronica says, "This is highly inappropriate. She's your former student."
"Keyword," Finn says, not looking away from me. "Former. She graduated in May, she's not my student anymore. She's just my co-worker and my girlfriend."
You giggle and say, "I am."
Finn rests his hands on my cheeks and says, "Ya said how much ya wanted to kiss me earlier. What's stopping ya now?"
You smile and say, "Nothing." Your hands fly to the back of Finn's neck and you pull him down to you. His lips crash to yours and start to move against yours. Seth claps behind you and Finn smiles against your lips.
Veronica says, "Whatever." She walks off.
Seth says, "Okay, okay. Let's not suck off each other's faces in front of everyone."
Finn pulls back and smiles down at you. You look at Seth and say, "Thanks for like not freaking out."
Seth smiles and says, “You guys are cute. I kind of suspected something day one and was waiting for the day that you guys made it public. It was also why I never made a move on Y/N even though I liked her.”
You laugh a bit and Finn says, “I think I’m starting to like ya a little more.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Seth says. “Go home and take care of that.” He motions to Finn’s hand on my butt. “I know how you two are just dying to leave so go ahead.”
Finn doesn’t waste any time in grabbing my clutch and my hand before running out the door. You laugh as you try to keep up with Finn.
***
Finn’s place is the closest to the school. He lives in a three floor Victorian house. You guess with a professors salary he can afford this on his own. You’ve been here a few times before but he likes to come to your apartment.
He parks your car in his driveway and gets out. You get out and walk into his house. Once the front door is closed, Finn’s lips connect to yours and your hands fly to his hair. You smile into the kiss and kick off your heels by the door. Finn sheds his jacket.
The two of you stumble toward the stairs. Finn’s tie comes off and you start to unbutton his shirt as you walk up the stairs.
Once up the stairs, Finn shrugs his shirt off and unzips the top of your dress. You throw the piece of clothing onto the hallway floor and Finn picks you up by your thighs.
The kiss has gotten more intense when you and Finn slip your tongues into each other’s mouths. He pins you against the hallway wall.
“Finn,” you giggle against his lips. “Your room is right upstairs.”
He says, “I can’t wait that long.”
Finn pulls off your skirt and you reach down to unbutton his jeans. He walks upstairs to the third floor and into his bedroom.
You’re dropped on the bed and he pulls off his dress pants. He kicks off his shoes before leaning down and hovering over you.
His lips are on your breasts, kissing and sucking one while his hand groping the other. You moan softly and run your fingers through Finn’s hair as he pays attention to your breasts.
You lift your hips up so your clothed core rubs against Finn’s bulge. He lets out a soft groan so you do it again. And again. Until he pins your hips to the bed.
“Relax, my love,” he says, pulling down your soaked red lace panties. “We’re gonna get there.”
You bite your lip and look up at Finn, saying, “I need you inside of me right now, Finn. Please.” Desperation is laced in your voice.
The room is dark but you know that Finn’s looking at your now fully naked body as he throws your panties to the floor. He gets himself out of his boxers and hovers back over you.
Finn pulls you close to him and kisses you. Your lips move feverishly against his as his top runs through your wet folds. You moan into the kiss.
He pushes himself into you, making you moan louder.
You love when you have sex at Finn’s house instead of your apartment because you can be as loud as you want. Your neighbors can hear you when you’re with Finn in your apartment. There’s no one around in Finn’s house.
Finn moves slowly, letting you adjust to him inside of you. You gasp and moan as he pulls back from the kiss. His lips attach to your neck and he starts thrusting harder and faster into you.
“God, Finn,” you moan, throwing your head back. “Fuck, right here.” He moves deeper into you and he grazes your g-spot with his top.
You moan loudly and your back arches off the bed. Your hands are on Finn’s back, digging your nails into his flesh.
Finn’s now kissing your jaw, panting a bit by your ear.
He mumbles, “I love you, Y/N. I love you so much.”
Finn thrusts faster and you moan, “I love you too, Finn. So much.”
The room is filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping as Finn thrusts into you.
It takes a little bit before both of you reach your highs at the same time. You release around Finn and he releases into you. You scream Finn’s name as you climax.
Finn helps you ride out your high and kisses you messily. Both of you are breathing heavily as you come down from your highs.
He gets off of you and he says, “Come with me.” He puts on his boxers. You grab one of his shirts and put your panties on. Your legs are a little weak but you follow Finn. His hand is in yours. He pulled the blankets off the bed and he walks downstairs with you and the blankets.
“Where are we going?” you ask, walking into the living room.
Finn gets the fireplace started and you smile. He lays out the blankets in front of it and he lays down. “Come cuddle,” he says.
You giggle and lay down beside him. He wraps his arms around you and you throw your arm lazily across his waist. Your head rests on his chest and you intertwine your legs with his.
The two of you lay in front of the warm fireplace for an hour before a clock goes off.
It’s midnight. It’s Christmas Day.
Finn smiles and looks down at you. “I know we promised not to get each other anything,” he says. “But I have something for you.”
You watch as Finn gets up and grabs a little present from under his tree. The present is big enough to fit in your hand. He sits next to you and holds it out to you.
“Finn,” you say, sitting up and crossing your legs. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” You take the gift from him.
He smiles and says, “I know. Just open it.”
You smile and start to open the gift. Inside the gift wrap is a dark red velvet box. You look up at Finn and he’s smiling. Slowly, you open the box.
Inside the box is a ring with an oval diamond. You look up at Finn again and ask, “What’s this?”
Finn smiles and says, “A ring.”
“Why?” you ask as he takes the ring out of the box.
He holds it out to you and moves so he’s on one knee. Your eyes widen. “The past few months have been some of the best of my life. I love you, Y/N. More than you think. I didn’t know that when ya walked into my classroom a year ago that we’d be here. When ya came to me on graduation day and told me how ya felt, I knew that I wanted ya in my life forever. So, I’m asking ya for forever.”
You stare at the ring in Finn’s hand as he talks.
“Marry me, Y/N.”
#finn balor imagine#finn balor smut#finn balor x reader#wwe imagine#wwe smut#wwe fluff#wwe angst#wrestling imagine#wrestling smut#wrestling fluff#wrestling angst#nxt imagine#nxt smut#nxt fluff#nxt angst#imagines#imagine#nswf imagine#smut#fluff#angst
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MAKES ME WONDER [13/40] The Scholarship Application
→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.
→ Genre : fluff
→ Type : Idol x fan au
→ Word count : 1.2k
→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl @yuriewolfhard @jisungsdreamy @mischeifmakerliesmith5 (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)
→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader
→ Main Seventeen Masterlist
→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist
The class was boring, not that your mind wasn't clouded with Joshua since you talked with him a few hours ago, even though he was busy he managed to make time for you so you won't feel neglected and it just made you fall for him more.
The bell rang loudly indicating that the class was over, students sighing in relief that they could now go to their home and rest, today has been especially exhausting for everyone.
"Students, there are a couple of new notices attached on the notice board, have a look at them before going off to your homes, you may find something you are interested in."
Miu approached you, bumping your shoulder with hers, throwing a teasing smile on your way.
"I see you had a talk with Joshua, there's a different glow on your face whenever you talk with him, it's easy to tell."
You shook your head, your hand making its way to touch your cheeks, was your affection towards the said boy that obvious?
"Let's go and check the notice board."
"You go ahead, I'll do it some other time, I have an essay to write which I forgot about."
She waved you goodbye, making her way towards the university library and you make your way towards the notice board to check it out.
"Wow, no one really got time to check it out even after the professor clearly told us to."
You stood in front of the notice board taking note of each and every event supposed to take place and the competitions to be held.
You were looking through the different notices when you noticed a small poster had fallen down from the board, you slid the glass off the board and took it out and pasted it back.
You looked at the notice.
INTERNATIONAL PARTNERSHIP : Would you like to continue your studies in a different country?
Study in a different environment and learn about different cultures, XYZ University has become a part of International Partnership Universities that could be perfect for your degree. Check out the list of universities below and sign up in your student office now.
What is this? International Partnership?
Your eyes scanned the list of different universities who were the part of said partnership along with your university, until they stopped on a name you weren't aware you were looking for.
Seoul University, South Korea
You took the notice with you as you made your way towards the student office.
"Hello, I'm here from the notice about the international partnership program."
The lady who sat at the reception smiled at you nodding her head, asking you to continue.
"Can anyone take part in the program or do I need to qualify for it?'
"Well, any student can apply as long as their attendance and grades are good enough."
"Just that? I do think my grades and attendance are decent enough, will you check them for me to see if I can apply?"
"Sure, give me your identification card."
You nodded your head, fishing inside your bag to take out your identification card and hand it over to her, you saw her insert the information into her laptop as she checked your attendance and grades.
"You do have decent attendance and good grades so it's safe to say you can apply for the program, do you have your required documents now or you want to submit them later? Also you need to fill this form and attach all the document's copy with it and submit it to me and you're ready to go."
She gave you the form and you made your way out of the office. You were excited to fill this form and go to Seoul to study, it would be a great surprise for him and he could spend time with you whenever he had time too.
Now you just needed to ask your parents permission to go to study in Seoul and you just hoped they would allow you.
▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️
"We won't allow you to go all the way to South Korea from here, alone."
"Why do you always have to cut off my freedom because you are too worried about me, even if I want to try some new things, you always show me the negative sides of it instead of encouraging me."
You had visited your parents house in the outskirts of the city since you wanted to talk with them about the program you had applied to, but they downright rejected your request even before listening to it fully, you were actually really excited to go study in Korea but all they thought was how you will go there alone and won't be able to take care of yourself.
It pissed you off since they never gave you the freedom to actually face challenges for you to grow.
"I'm going and that's final Dad, I just came here to tell you about my decision."
"You're going to regret it, can't you see? Your mother's health keeps on getting worse and worse and all you wanna do is go study in some other country."
"It isn't like mom's been in good health, she has been like that since forever, I'm not saying I don't care about her but please stop dragging her health into my decision to study abroad."
Your mother had leukemia and she had been struggling with the said disease since you were ten and it felt wrong that your father was making her an excuse to keep you with him.
The fact was, your parents were overly concerned for you, they wanted you to somehow learn all the hardships of life without experiencing them, they always stopped you from doing anything which they thought wasn't necessary to do according to them.
"Your mother won't be happy knowing you're being a brat."
"I'm going dad, you can't stop me, I don't care now, you've always stopped me from doing what I love, I won't let you and our family problems get into a way of my happiness."
You made your way towards the living room of the house as soon as you said that.
"Break all of your relationship with our family if you want to go."
Your steps halted as soon as your father said those sentences and you turned around glaring at him, disbelief written all over your face.
"You're going to go to such an extent just to stop me from doing what makes me happy? Fine, I don't want to be in any sort of relationship with a family who doesn't even consider my happiness."
You slammed the door shut, not looking back even once because you knew he wasn't standing there to even watch you for the last time.
Your father was a selfish man who only cared about his interests and feelings, never once in his life he tried to understand what his family desired and that's the mere reason why your older brother committed suicide, because your father didn't allow him to fulfil his dreams but you weren't going to let him get in a way of your happiness.
With tears in your eyes you hailed a cab, making your way back to apartment.
#Joshua hong#Seventeen Joshua#caratwritersclub#Makes me wonder#Seventeen au#Joshua au#Joshua hong au#Seventeen imagine#Joshua imagine#Joshua hong imagine#Kpop#Kpop au#Kpop imagine#Seventeen fanfic#Joshua fanfic#Joshua hong fanfic#Seventeen series#Joshua series#Joshua hong series#Seventeen drabble#Joshua drabble#Hong jisoo#Seventeen x reader#Joshua x reader#Joshua hong x reader#seventeen scenarios#Joshua scenario
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Classroom 11 | Kim Namjoon
Pairing: Namjoon × reader
Word count: 4170
Warning: none
Summery: your 2 year of university takes a turn when the guy who helped with your essay in the library turns out to be your teacher.
[A/N : if you guys like this I'll make a part 2 please excuse any mistakes you find I'm so sorry I didn't want to leave you with nothing to read this week so I thought I'd post this and let me know if you're okay with me writing for TXT as well]
Masterlist
_
You were a university student who was rushing in a crowd to get to the nearest library, you had an essay to write and you forgot all about it, frat parties never did you good and you always regretted it the next morning because you had to go back to studying but you loved the rush you felt when you let yourself get lost in the music while you dance with your friends.
"Excuse me...sorry" you kept muttering as you make your way through the busy streets, did everyone have an essay to write on the same day as yours?! It drove you a bit insane but you tried your hardest not to lash out on anyone.
You were holding papers and books in one arm and the other was holding the strap of your bag so you don't lose it in the crowd
you felt your phone vibrate meaning you got a text your heart started to flutter at the thought of him it made you giddy and excited, you have been crushing on him since you got into university but he never noticed you until this semester which was your second year Soobin was everything you wanted in a guy, sweet, kind , witty how in the heavens wouldn't you crush on him?! you reached in your pocket which was hard because you also kept walking to get to the library
[Wanna grab breakfast?]
You groan in annoyance, you wanted to see him so bad but you couldn't, this grade is important because it was your sink or sail class and you really need that A or something close to it
You started to type a reply, your eyes only focusing on your phone not noticing that the girl infront of held the library door open for you, if she didn't it would slam shut in your face when you walked past her still imuresd in your phone she let go of the handle and went on with her day
[Hey I'm sorry I can't I have-]
You bumped into someone which caused you to lose your composure and knock everything you were holding down when you looked up frantic you saw a guy lay on the floor and books were scattered all around him.
'Crap' you mentally whined "I am so sorry oh god" you spoke reaching for his hand to help the poor guy you knocked off the ladder up, he chuckled and everything around you stopped when you saw his dimples
"it's okay... I thought no one is as clumsy as me, it happens" he told you as he took your hand and you helped him up he smiled down at you and boy he was tall "I'm really sorry I didn't even notice that I was inside.." you glance around finally realizing you got inside the library he shakes his head "don't worry about it.." you smiled sadly at him "are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" You ask looking around for a blood stain or a bruise anywhere on his face or body but you found nothing "I'm okay really I was at the bottom of the ladder so it didn't hurt" he nodded your lips were in a line obviously you felt awful about it
"I'm sorry again this essay is just-" you groan and kneel down to pick up your things you feel him kneel as well, he gathers your papers and the book you were carrying "life through the decades?" He reads the title outloud you turn your head to him and nod "are you studying the exact same thing?" You asked he shakes his head "I graduated a year ago and no I studied marketing but I love reading" he smiles while telling you "oh really? Lucky you I can't wait until I graduate" you sigh he gives you the papers and the book back and you thank him "I can help you with the essay if you want" he says after it was silent "oh no I don't want to be a bother" you smile "thank you so much though!" You add smiling at him he shakes his head "I insist besides you need all the help you can get" he smiles
truth to be told; you had no idea what to write in that essay because you never opened this book and only attended the classes so you wouldn't fail the class because of your attendance but you also barely went to that class and you had no idea what was the professor was babbling about when you did go, So yes you needed his help
"well...I do really need the help..are you sure it's not a bother?" His stare lingers on you, it feels a bit intense but then he tells you it would be his pleasure you both make your way to a table in the far back you told him your name and he told you that his name was Namjoon, Kim Namjoon, you recognized his name because everyone praised him for his intelligence and you always wondered how he looks like, the professors all over the university praised him, now that you were in his presence you could feel the knowledge pour from the guy
You didn't want to lie and say that it didn't turn you on in the slightest, because God he was charming and charismatic he spoke in way that made you get lost in him, it almost forced you to focus on him and what he's saying even if he was talking gibberish
You told honestly that you had no idea about what to write you didn't even read the book he chuckled "I struggled a lot with this subject as well no worries" he says "so ______ how about you read the book and I'll write your essay for you and we can add to it together after you know a bit about it does that sound okay?" He asks fixing his glasses
You were in a trance but quickly snapped out of it and nodded furiously he giggled and started to write away on the paper
You were a sucker for guys with dimples because soobin has them too, soobin!! You quickly grabbed the phone and saw a few messages from him
[_____?]
[You have been typing for an hour]
[Okay I'm getting worried]
[Cat got your tongue?]
You roll your eyes at his snarky comments and continue to type the reply you left not complete
[Hey I'm sorry I can't I have to write an essay I'll text you later]
You hit send and felt namjoon's eyes on you you turned to look at him to find him glaring at you "I told you to read not text.." you giggled "sorry boss I'm on it!"
He snickered and continued writing away on the paper
You had no idea how he 'struggled' in this subject at all he looks like he ate the book and all the information was digested and printed in his mind
You opened the book and started reading it you saw your phone light up your heart was bubbling, you wanted namjoon to write the essay for you and you could excuse yourself and go with soobin to get breakfast you would hit two birds in one stone; getting the boy you liked and your essay, but that would be an awful thing to do, soobin and the feelings you have for him can wait for now
Namjoon noticed you looking at your phone then back at him and he heard your phone vibrate against the wooden table he didn't take his eyes off the paper he was writing on "don't even think about it missy go on read the next line" he scolds you you huffed and continued reading
From that moment he knew that he is in for a lot with you he can't lie and say he wasn't excited.
_
Namjoon took you out to grab a snack and so you can take a break from reading, he saw how much you were struggling trying to process all of the information in the book and he felt bad for you
He took you to the bakery across the street but a bit further down away from the library, you both sat down on a table for two after you ordered coffee and muffins.
You were rubbing your forehead a headache was just settling in and it was hurting you slightly
He had a pout on his face seeing you like this, he wanted to send you off to do whatever you wanted and he'd call you after he's done with the paper so you can come and take it, all ready and done but he wanted to get to know you and spend more time with you
He was genuinely intrigued by you and he couldn't give up the chance of getting to know you
"You okay ______?" You heard him softly ask, you smiled at him "I'm okay, just a little headache" he frowns and reaches in his pocket and hands you two small pills, pain killers, you noticed them "I get headaches from working in the library there's a lot of things I'm responsible for there and it wears me down so I keep them in my pockets just incase I get one" he explains smiling "they're not drugs?" You playfully ask he threw his head down laughing while shaking his head "I would never drug you in public" he winked a playful smirk made it's way onto his face
You took them and swallowed them down right away, he was shocked to say the least he had the water bottle open for you and was going to hand it to you but when he saw you swallow the pills down without water it baffled him slightly
"You get drunk often?" He asks, you raise your eyebrow at the question but you nod "yeah why?" He nods "Hangovers taught you how to swallow pills without water it seems" you couldn't help but laugh a little "yeah I guess swallowing pills without water is a bit weird" you say resting you head in your palms.
"I can't remember the last time I got drunk..." he laughs "really?" You ask a bit shocked at his words he nods "I like being in control of my actions and the thought of not being sober or not being in control over my own self terrifies me" he told you "but life is pretty boring without drinking at least once a week" you say "I leaned to survive without it" he says and then the waiter places the tray with the food and the coffee you ordered and then both of you dig into the delicious muffins, both of you were starving
As the both of you ate you asked him why he worked for the library if he studied marketing you learned that he was counting his masters degree to pass time he decided to work for the library and to have fun while he was studying.
You admire him more and more talking to him came naturally you didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable around him it's like you knew each other from a long time after you both finished eating you both had an argument about who is going to pay and why it should be you because you bumped into him but he insisted that it should be him because he was the one who suggested to go out.
After a while he won and paid for the both of you, you thanked him but made a mental note to ask him one day in this week out for lunch or something.
_
Night rolled over pretty quick, your essay was done, you and namjoon were pretty close, you didn't know him well but you knew enough about him for you both to be good friends or so you would say that you were
He walked you to your dorm, you swooned inside he was such a gentle man he didn't want you to walk all the way back to the dorms by yourself at night, it even was a bit windy he took off his jacket and made you wear it
His secent was intoxicating and strong, you nuzzled in his jacket it was so soft and cozy...and definitely was too big for you
He smiled, seeing you in his jacket made him feel some type of way, it was so nice he didn't know why but suddenly he felt like he had to be there for you whenever you needed him he wanted to be there for you to protect you and help you whenever
It upset him slightly that you had to go home but he couldn't be more grateful for this chance
Both of you stood in front of your dorm door, the moonlight was shining on both of you illuminating the hallway
"Thank you namjoon for everything...I wouldn't have got it done without you" you tell him smiling softly adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you felt an odd feeling of nervousness taking over but you didn't know why...
He gave you a warm smile "I didn't do much..I was just trying to help" you smiled at him "you helped me so much I seriously don't know how to thank you"
The wheels turned in your head and you thought of a way to think him you just hope that he doesn't deny you
"How about umm.." you start to say looking away from his eyes for a brief moment trying to not trip on your words "we go out again...for lunch?" You say closing one eye unsure of how he'll react
He smirks as his stare pierce through you
"Are you asking me out on a date ____?"
Red hue covers your cheek 'ah God why did I say it like that' you mentally groaned but saw him chuckle "I'd love to go out with you again" he says quite gently
you could still hear the words loud and clear in your head so you lean closer to him and kiss him on the cheek your eyes fluttering shut
Your kiss lingering for awhile then you pulled away from him opening your eyes again "night Namjoon" you send him a playful smirk closing the door after you
You left him stunned he just stood there not believing that you did what you did, girls never found him attractive they always thought he was a nerd or a geek, surely he slept with girls before but never dated anyone thinking that there was something wrong with him.
Nothing is ever complete, human beings should lack in something but he kinda wished he had a bit of luck when it came to love
He walked home with the biggest smile on his face, could it be you? the one who is going to love him for who he is The geeky nerdy man? he kept thinking about you and your smile and your eyes that made him melt they were so inviting and pretty he could stare at you all day and night and never get tired
That night the both of you slept with smiles on your faces and you couldn't wait for Tomorrow to come, surely you had classes but you were going to see namjoon again at lunch and that made you fall asleep quickly so the morning comes faster.
_
Loud ringing woke up Namjoon he was startled by the sudden noise but he grabbed the phone and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Kim Namjoon I'm the head teacher of VXU I'm sorry for the disturbance"
Namjoon sat up in his bed recognizing his head teacher's voice "no sir it's okay, how can I help?" He replied
"I need you to fill in for professor Joshua he went to the ER yesterday and I can't find someone qualified enough to give the classes until he recovers and the students are about to have their midterms"
Namjoon was nodding but he just remembered that his head teacher can't see him, clearly he was still sleepy "I see, sir,when do you want me to start?"
"Today! your first class starts at 8:30 and it ends at 10:30 you can come by my office to get everything you need" he informs
"But sir I still don't know what class I'm gonna be teaching" namjoon spoke a bit frustrated because while he carried on with the phone call he started to get ready it was 7 am he barely had time to get there
"you'll be teaching 2nd year students life through the years as you're the only one of his students that got A+!"
Namjoon mentally groaned about teaching history, not his favourite subject if he's honest and he's going to teach students around his age and younger so that's going to be fun...not, he remembers how students made fun of young upcoming teachers and never took them seriously
"I'll be there in a few sir" Namjoon said ending the call then he took a deep breath, dredging the thought of being a teacher until God knows when.
_
Your alarm went off at least ten times before you finally woke up it was 8 and you started to rush to get ready so you can be there on time for your lecture that starts at 8:30
No matter how much you make promises with yourself that you'll get up early so you don't tire yourself rushing you never learn you keep going to bed late and regret it when you hear that haunting alarm sound
You mutter apologies as you run through the crowds afraid of being late then you remember that you barely went to this so you pull out your timetable from your back pocket to see what class you're supposed to walk to
Classroom 11 where your first lecture was at, you whined at the thought of taking history class this early it was almost impossible for you to pass it, not only did you go to it out of breath and on the verge of dying because you were always late but you barely understood the book yesterday, sure Namjoon was a great tutor but your brain couldn't take all of his explanation in.
You cursed yourself for getting distracted by his looks and the way he talked, you pray and hope to God that your professor talks about what namjoon explained yesterday because you were not in the mood for a new lesson about how life was before you were born.
_
Namjoon reads his schedule for the day, 'history this early in the morning?!' He mentally groaned it was even more tiring for him as a teacher now, he was new to all of this and to give him such a subject like history as a start was overwhelming for a guy in his twenties who graduated not four months ago
He manged to scan through the lesson he was going to give,silently thanking the heavens that you bumped into him yesterday and refreshed his mind, he almost was starting to forget this subject and what it contains but since he explained it to you yesterday he had a pretty good idea of what he's in for,he felt excited and confident and started to make his way to the classroom to give his very first lecture 'I hope you're proud mama' he mentally snickered at the thought of him being a teacher
You made it on time and luckily your professor wasn't in the classroom yet you almost cried of happiness that you actually made it and that you weren't going to be yelled at infront of...well many students..
The classroom was full of students since all majors had history and that was the only class you met people who were studying something different from you, it was the perfect opportunity to make friends since you were outgoing it wasn't that hard to make new friendships and getting to know people just means more parties in the future
You heard girls gossip about your professor but you didn't pay it much attention, some girls would do anything for an A+ and they always had eyes for older men which rubbed you off in the wrong way but again their life their choice but you swore across your heart you won't ever suck dick for a grade or have one night stands for a benefit
That was just not you and not your thing,
Not to mention if anyone from the university authorities knew about a professor sleeping with a student or even another professor they'll be facing a major lawsuit the university was very strict when it came to that subject and they were brutal
It happened before the art teacher fell in love with the music teacher and were dating when they were off campus but as soon as the head master found out about their relationship both of them got fired and because the authorities made it look like they broke the law the other universities couldn't hire them because if they broke a simple rule like that they couldn't imagine what other rules they'll take lightly which was very unfair and brutal, all they did was love each other!
Everyone accepted that and knew that they shouldn't question it they learned when to stop arguing when it came down to that stupid rule,you didn't want to know to what happens if a student and a teacher was caught together
"Morning class" a stern deep voice spoke the whole of the class fell silent, you looked up raising your eyebrows questionly..that wasn't professor Joshua voice. you're used to your professor coughing his lungs out when he entered
You lift your head up to be met with the same guy you bumped into yesterday, the same guy that helped you write your essay the one and only Namjoon, the dimpled librarian.
There's no way he's going to be teaching you and everyone else history?! He is a marketing graduate! What does he know about teaching?! You were puzzled and your mind was swirling with thoughts
"My name is teacher Namjoon...I'll be the substitute teacher until professor Josha returns" he smiles showing his dimples,your heart fell you felt it shatter..you were starting to like him but now that he's your..teacher you can't..
You felt angry how could he not tell you? You spent all day yesterday together he had plenty of time to say that he was going to be your teacher he didn't even reject the date! How can he do that? It was practically illegal what would happen if they saw you and him together? You didn't know why you even thought of that the whole thing was pissing you off you wanted to get up and leave
You didn't care anymore, you were starting to like him 'damn it!' You thought then his eyes met yours and the world around you paused you can see the shock fall down on him you saw his eyes get wider and his mouth was slightly open with disbelief
he felt like a mutant he wanted to rewind time and politely decline he didn't care how amazing this would be for his resime that means he can't be with you for the time being and who knows if professor Joshua will ever recover?
Namjoon filling in for him might take years because well.. all of you know that professor Joshua was on the edge of his death and that his trip to the ER yesterday could be fatal which made Namjoon want to tire his hair out, he can't afford losing the chance of being with you for a job like this.
Yes, he will get paid better than working for the library, yes this job would be perfect in his CV but that potentially could mean that he'll kiss his dreams of being with you goodbye
Your heart was hammering against your ribcage you felt so..betrayed that he just let you fall for him and in the end you'll never have him because he was your teacher.
You can't even be friends with him anymore because that would definitely raise one too many questions and you didn't want to be targeted by anyone nor did you want to be kicked out of uni
You saw him shake his head "I apologize I lost my train of thought.." he laughed nervously and every girl swooned over him which made your blood boil "ah let's see today we're talking about the midevils.. please open your notebooks and follow me through because I won't repeat myself.." he gave them a fake smile and nodded turning his frame and began writing on the white bored.
You roll your eyes and open the book nonetheless this is going to be one hell of a rest of semester...
#kim namjoon imagine#rm imagine#rm x y/n#rm x you#rm x reader#namjoon fanfic#namjoon au#namjoon oneshot#namjoon x you#namjoon x reader#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts smut#namjoon scenarios#rm scenario#writing#fantasy#bts fantasy au#bts namjoon
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Joe & Ronnie
Joe: what are you actually doing Ronnie: having an orgy Ronnie: ain't you gutted you didn't stay Joe: was before Joe: however appealing or un that is Ronnie: cry to some other cunt Ronnie: I told you not to go Joe: I ain't interested in no other cunt, that's what I just said Joe: I had to, didn't I Ronnie: don't be a pussy Ronnie: you ain't gotta be a mummy's boy all your life Joe: it's christmas Joe: that's what has to be done Ronnie: and what? family's for life Ronnie: tell that to your ma Joe: you should've come Joe: it's a mess, you'd have had fun Ronnie: I don't do babies Ronnie: and I weren't invited Joe: me either Joe: and you are Joe: come now Ronnie: whoever the fuck your ma wants me to be ain't who I am Ronnie: try telling her the truth and see if I'm still given a seat Joe: you don't need to be anyone for her Ronnie: swallow your own bullshit sayings first Joe: alright so it's stupid Joe: but I need you here Ronnie: you can't have me there Joe: for fuck sake Ronnie: you want me or you wanna be her golden boy Joe: you know exactly which I want Ronnie: you think you know but one look at my tracks and fun's over baby Joe: I can have you and drugs Joe: that ain't mutually exclusive Joe: never has been Ronnie: you can't have fuck all around your family Ronnie: a uni degree and a 9-5 is your lot babe Joe: they'd not even notice Joe: baby central, yeah Ronnie: they'd notice me Joe: we could find out Ronnie: don't Joe: alright Joe: fine Ronnie: it's not all about you Ronnie: selfish prick Joe: I know you don't wanna be here Ronnie: then don't fucking ask me Joe: I know what I am Ronnie: you know who I am Ronnie: you're wasting your own time Joe: yeah Joe: and you know I don't care Ronnie: that's why you're there pissing away the day, yeah? Joe: what do you suggest? Joe: taken every pharmaceutical I could get into the country Ronnie: leave the country Ronnie: grow a fucking pair mckenna Joe: on xmas day yeah Joe: called a fantasy play the game Ronnie: you want me to show up Ronnie: why the fuck can't you? Joe: selfish prick Ronnie: I don't pretend to be anything else Joe: no, me Ronnie: it comes out of your mouth so easy for me Ronnie: just tell 'em Joe: tell 'em what Joe: I don't wanna see you no more Joe: bye Ronnie: any of the ugly truth will make her not wanna see you no more Ronnie: it don't take much Ronnie: pushed me out of her and right away, like Joe: that wasn't about you, was it Joe: selfish runs in the genes Ronnie: not deep enough when it comes to you Ronnie: you're fucking soft mckenna Ronnie: that your da's fault, yeah? Joe: yeah, you should be the favourite, we both know it but ain't gonna wish it on you Ronnie: nah she should've swallowed or got scraped Ronnie: did the next best though Joe: you want me to say lucky you so you can hate me for being privileged and ignorant Joe: I'll do it for you Ronnie: such a people pleaser Joe: you know it Ronnie: call me when you're ready to shatter your wine glass and put the pieces in your mouth Joe: you dare me? Ronnie: I'm not playing games here Joe: come on Joe: get your paper hat on Ronnie: you want me to get on some old bloke's knee too or is that where the fantasy ends? Joe: not got any grandparents Joe: sorry Ronnie: shame Joe: isn't it just Ronnie: but we don't have to let it die 'cause you're a letdown Ronnie: I know loads of old men Ronnie: some of 'em have gotta still be alive Joe: 🤞 the holiday blues haven't claimed them Ronnie: yeah 'cause you wanna be special Joe: but I am Joe: if I cared about it I'd say no old cunts Ronnie: I'll lick your brains off the wall when you pull the trigger baby, how's that? Joe: Better than Courtney, babe Ronnie: the bar ain't high then Joe: she might've pulled the trigger Joe: don't you want that? Ronnie: you know what I want Joe: you know what I can't give you today Ronnie: yeah and I know that's your fucking fault Joe: didn't ask for jesus to be born Joe: or for me to into this family Ronnie: stop having a tantrum and come back Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: today Joe: didn't drive Joe: what flight am i getting on christmas Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: I can't hack it Ronnie: drop a baby they'll kick you out faster than you can say merry christmas Ronnie: especially if it's one of your brother's Ronnie: gonna have limited brain cells as it is Joe: 😂 Joe: that would require picking one up and nah Joe: nope Ronnie: you've touched worse Joe: I don't know Joe: it's weird Joe: fucked Ronnie: they're just little bags of meat and bone Ronnie: get a fucking grip Joe: says you Joe: you ain't here Ronnie: for me it ain't about nothing but resisting the urge to shake 'em and how I don't reckon I've got that in me Ronnie: one of many negative impulses I fight or don't on the daily like Joe: like you said, be a kindness really Joe: they're all just pretending it's a good thing when it clearly ain't Joe: not got the energy Ronnie: jail ain't gonna be that for me Ronnie: and like I also said you ain't the only selfish prick that bitch spawned Ronnie: they don't know a good thing they ain't tried it Ronnie: shoot 'em up it'll be a decent christmas for everyone Joe: you've not got room for the gang tats Joe: I get it Joe: oddly enough I've not got 💉 on my prescription Ronnie: baby I'm nobody's bitch but 💉 Ronnie: and we're exclusive 💍 Joe: you wish Joe: making do every other time Ronnie: don't fucking remind me Joe: miss those student loans Ronnie: I'm gonna miss being a christmas temp Joe: not just for the lap sitting priviledges Joe: yeah Ronnie: knew you were into it Joe: just miss you Ronnie: don't say shit like that Joe: whatever Ronnie: I mean it, it hurts Joe: I'm sorry Joe: if I could go back and not find you Joe: I know I should Joe: I wouldn't but established Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah Joe: I know Ronnie: nah you fucking don't Joe: you reckon Ronnie: I said it Ronnie: you're the cunt saying shit you don't mean Joe: no I'm not Joe: just 'cos you don't need to hear it don't mean it ain't real Joe: it is, that's the issue yeah Ronnie: tell it to your ma Ronnie: well full of it Joe: why would I Joe: not trying to convince you of anything here Joe: it is what it is Joe: however fucked Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: yeah love you and all Ronnie: if you did you wouldn't have left Joe: ever Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna none of you lot are Joe: who's trying to be funny Joe: what do you want from me Ronnie: you're a fucking joke either way babe Joe: make up your mind Joe: glad I amuse you now, apparently Joe: one of us should be having a good time Ronnie: laugh or cry, yeah? Joe: goes something like that Joe: could go full newborn and do a puke shit cry combo Joe: why not Ronnie: if you're rattling hard enough, anything's possible Joe: getting by Joe: making do is never the same as previously lamented but not gonna start convulsing in my plate Ronnie: shame Joe: 💘 Joe: dunno how you reckon on me ruining christmas Joe: sister just became a teen mum Ronnie: it's an od or a run out take your pick baby Ronnie: both have worked for me Ronnie: you say that like its not a badge of honor who wouldnt wanna follow in your ma's footsteps, like Ronnie: if she starts dealing too give her my number Joe: ha, I forgot to tell you Joe: there's one here already Ronnie: if you wanted me there you should have led with that Joe: I know right Joe: no one tells me anything Joe: you'd like him Joe: purely 'cos she hates him Ronnie: you don't tell me anything Ronnie: too late to ruin christmas now Joe: I know you'd be here if you wanted that more than you don't wanna be here Joe: but don't worry, atmosphere is awkward enough regardless Ronnie: could still show up for your brother's big birthday Ronnie: freckles is a no go but he's old enough now to be on the table Ronnie: work my way through by new years, yeah? Joe: hilarious, babe Ronnie: not joking babe Ronnie: fucking the dealer won't make enough of a splash Joe: you do know they know you're related, yeah Joe: even if he weren't gay Ronnie: didn't stop you Ronnie: and being a massive homo ain't ever stopped Charlie Joe: we all do trauma different don't we Ronnie: if you want some therapy for christmas we can roleplay that shit Joe: why would i settle for that when i've got drugs and you Ronnie: saying that ain't gonna make me not hate you Joe: good Joe: hate me Joe: don't be an idiot like everyone else Ronnie: baby brain ain't gonna be a thing over here Ronnie: 💔 Joe: my deepest sympathies Joe: can't say I'm sharing in your 💔 though Ronnie: when have I ever used an emoji meaningfully Ronnie: not a fucking kid Joe: damn Joe: I really thought you meant those 😍 Joe: 💔 Ronnie: fuck off Joe: 😂 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: count how many glasses you've had Joe: is that an OCD joke Joe: you're on 🔥 today girl Ronnie: you wish no lighters at the table baby Joe: Charlie really sticking to those rules hard Joe: how are you gonna light the pudding? Ronnie: afters ain't like that round here Ronnie: 💉💊🚬 Joe: it's minging Ronnie: you love it then, all the pain, like Joe: don't reckon we've actually got one either Joe: how passive-aggressive of them Ronnie: ma keeps bringing the disappointments, yeah? Ronnie: reckon your brother's golden boy now he's sprogged up Joe: I wish Joe: marginally less of a disgrace than Ali Joe: but still Ronnie: your sister is gifting those flashbacks for christmas Joe: Truly Joe: poor kid Ronnie: she should've picked a white lad Ronnie: calm your ma right down Joe: maybe next time Joe: 2nd time's a charm, eh Ronnie: yeah Joe: have you ever been knocked up Ronnie: could probably have got a freebie down the clinic how often I've been down to get rid Ronnie: none of 'em were yours though you can relax Joe: god bless the nhs Ronnie: you ever knocked anyone up? Joe: not to abortion stage Joe: just had to get plan b Joe: as far as I know, anyway Ronnie: cute Joe: thanks 💕 Joe: ours wouldn't be so thank fuck Ronnie: that kinda shit passes for a date for us scousers 💋 Ronnie: you don't want a kid with gills or two heads? Joe: hot Joe: least you could see what was up with it Joe: but 👶💀 Ronnie: can't and won't happen Ronnie: you'd have to fuck your fertile sister Joe: we can pretend that's why I like you Ronnie: you like me 'cause I'll always find a vein for you Ronnie: what else is there Joe: what ain't there Ronnie: 👶🍼 Joe: exactly Joe: one of the main things I look for Ronnie: are you on one knee right now or what? Joe: get you a rock worth having Joe: how's that for a proposal Ronnie: I don't trust it but I'll take it Joe: why not Joe: got that christmas cash Joe: not gonna waste it Ronnie: why would you wanna share with me, selfish prick from your own mouth, like Joe: 'cos getting high together is better Joe: deny it Ronnie: you know I can't Joe: gonna be a white christmas Joe: no need to trust just see Ronnie: when Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: don't fucking lie Joe: I ain't Ronnie: swear Ronnie: swear they ain't gonna guilt you into staying Joe: swear Joe: they ain't gonna even try Ronnie: make sure they let you on that flight Joe: 'course Joe: I'm totally legally medicated rn Ronnie: you're also a pussy Ronnie: bet all the younger siblings have drunk you under the table Joe: you're not wrong that lots of them pride themselves in their light alcoholism Ronnie: whatever gets 'em through the day, yeah? Joe: can't judge really Joe: not with a 💉 sticking out my arm Ronnie: that's tomorrow Ronnie: today anything goes baby Joe: I'll be the one to dish out the home truths Joe: that'd be unexpected Ronnie: someone's gotta your ma will be too busy trying to chuck the babies out Joe: playing hostess with the mostest 'cos can't keep playing the boy when she's got two kids here knocked up Joe: his ma is well smug 😂 Joe: *blaming Ronnie: one of us is having fun then Joe: take the small victories, ms cavante Ronnie: if she's not gonna kick your ma in the tits it'll have to do Joe: wish on a 🌠 baby Ronnie: I've got bad luck or no luck baby Ronnie: that shit don't work Joe: you won't care come tomorrow Ronnie: I don't care now Joe: see? Joe: lucky Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: seriously Joe: my head is Ronnie: I know Ronnie: mine screams too but I go louder Joe: I can't do anything in here Joe: need to go outside and none of those other bastards better take their 🚬 break 'til I'm done Ronnie: if you didn't give so much of a fuck you could do anything Ronnie: that's why I can't show up to your family christmas, you ain't ready mckenna Joe: just shut up alright Joe: let me fucking think Ronnie: you ain't keith richards how many more years of me do you need to stop having such a limp dick Ronnie: every junkie is on borrowed time Joe: you really thought you were gonna fix me Joe: come on now Joe: you're better than that Ronnie: I'm not better than anything Ronnie: lowest of the low baby Joe: then what Ronnie: you want answers from me? you're better than that Joe: no Joe: what the fuck are you doing Joe: you're the one wasting your borrowed time Ronnie: what, you're the only cunt who gets to hide from family christmas? Ronnie: I'm sick and they're sick of me Joe: I don't mean just today and you know it Ronnie: I don't give a fuck what you mean and you know it Joe: it's been years Ronnie: you want out, get out Joe: I don't Joe: but I'm the one with the limp dick Ronnie: yeah Joe: that's what I thought Ronnie: you think too much babe Joe: no shit Joe: don't wanna play therapy, thanks Ronnie: what do you wanna play then? Joe: you're sick, I'm sick Ronnie: no game Ronnie: it's how shit is Joe: fun never stops, babe Ronnie: if your idea of fun is making me wanna top myself, soft lad Joe: you can't Joe: you've gotta lick it up after Ronnie: can't I? race yous Joe: wait 'til I'm there Joe: don't ruin their day any more Ronnie: I'm already waiting for you to decide you wanna come back and be scum of the fucking earth with me again Joe: it ain't a choice to be made or not Joe: it's how shit is Ronnie: you made loads of choices to get there Ronnie: plane rides to dublin don't just happen Joe: basically Ronnie: pathetic Joe: yeah Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: don't agree with me Joe: disagreeing ain't gonna change that I'm here now Ronnie: you don't wanna change it Ronnie: you love it Joe: yep Joe: big time Joe: fucking hell Ronnie: you've got such a misery hard on, you shouldn't be near kids Joe: why don't you hit them up Joe: let them know Ronnie: you're the only cunt with their mummy on speed dial Joe: alright well I ain't up for telling everyone I'm a predator Ronnie: do you wanna fuck her too or what? Joe: do you? Ronnie: nah Ronnie: why I don't come running every time someone in your family blows their nose or whatever the fuck Joe: me either Joe: it's christmas fucking day Joe: how many times Ronnie: like this is the first and only time Ronnie: but I'm crazy, yeah Joe: you are Joe: you're nuts Ronnie: don't forget it Ronnie: I'll be crazier by tomorrow Joe: promises promises Ronnie: I promise I'll ruin your fucking life, prick Joe: oh honey Joe: that's not a brag Joe: not hard is it Ronnie: you ain't talking to fitz baby I don't brag Joe: you can't Ronnie: you think you can tell me what I can and can't do Joe: don't take it personal Joe: try it Ronnie: don't take it personal when I kick the shit out of you mckenna Joe: how can I not when I love it so much Joe: think on Ronnie: 'cause I still love you 😍💋💘 Joe: s'alright baby, the way I wanna go out Joe: 💀💀💀 Ronnie: call me when you've stopped pleasuring your ma, I'll make it happen for you Joe: so understanding all of a sudden Joe: who's got your phone Ronnie: fuck off Joe: there she is Ronnie: what now you miss me? Ronnie: running late there baby Joe: I already told you I did Joe: you said I weren't allowed no more Ronnie: I said don't tell me Ronnie: I can't handle hearing it if it don't change a fucking thing Joe: alright Joe: but it changes a fucking lot Joe: you know Joe: not just for you Joe: I promise I'm really fucked from it Ronnie: yeah? Ronnie: so stop fucking around and come back to me Ronnie: first chance you get Ronnie: 'cause it's shit Joe: I know, I really know Joe: you've got no reason to believe me but you will see me tomorrow Joe: regardless of what any of them have gotta say on it Joe: never wanted to be here so not prolonging it Ronnie: I wanna believe you Ronnie: don't fuck me over twat Joe: I won't Joe: fuck myself over too Joe: time to start being fully selfish prick, yeah Joe: there's enough going on now, don't need me Ronnie: tell the truth that you're threatened by the off their tits 18 year olds that birthday boy will be surrounded by Ronnie: got more game than you Joe: yeah Joe: not the one chatting about fucking the barely legals Joe: but sure Ronnie: you would if they'd give you the time of day mckenna Ronnie: come on Ronnie: one day in dublin turned you into an old dried up nun? Joe: I dunno, I've not scoped out the guestlist that hard Joe: unlike my brother, girls I've known since they were kids don't do it for me, what can I say? Ronnie: blood relatives only like Joe: only when they're you Ronnie: such a lost fucking cause Joe: don't worry, was before you Joe: not gotta add that to the tally Ronnie: our safe word can be trauma bonding Ronnie: loads in common Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're alright Joe: when you're not a total raging bitch Ronnie: never then Ronnie: what am I when I'm a raging bitch? Joe: for me Ronnie: you sure you don't wanna party with the homos babe? that was proper gay Joe: fuck off Ronnie: write me a symphony next, yeah? Joe: and I'm the gay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: don't get an attitude 'cause I've fucked more lasses than you Joe: still time Joe: not as old as you Ronnie: you wanna make it to that age or what? careful how you talk to me Joe: wow, just like having a nan Joe: cheers babe Ronnie: fuck you Joe: 💘 Ronnie: we all know if you had a nan you'd wanna fuck her too Ronnie: step outside the family baby you might enjoy yourself Joe: doubt it Joe: do have one technically but she ain't all that Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you need the scouse accent to get it up, yeah? Joe: you or the beatles ain't it Ronnie: that was mildly funny calm down Joe: steady on Joe: might think you like me Ronnie: won't last Ronnie: due a mood swing in like 2 seconds Joe: s'alright Joe: all 23 of you love me Ronnie: 😂😍 here 'course Joe: yeah, never trusting your emojis again Joe: need photographic evidence, like Ronnie: [sends it cos that bitch but imagine her actual grumpy cat face bye] Ronnie: in proper stitches, alright Joe: should play poker pro Joe: you're too cute though, never believe that face is 21 or over Ronnie: call me cute again and I'll carve it into your chest Ronnie: capital letters Joe: [sends voice memo] Ronnie: I proper fucking hate you Joe: you knew I'd wanna so you clearly want to as well Joe: don't blame me you sadist Ronnie: you know what I want mckenna Ronnie: we ain't got a secret santa going Joe: take these socks back Ronnie: you'll wanna keep 'em for your misery boner babe Joe: you've not got me an escort then Joe: gutting Ronnie: crazy, remember? you could fuck her but I'd have to kill her Joe: alright, I'll keep your charges at manslaughter level Joe: for you Ronnie: 💋 Joe: when do you next have a shift or are you done fully now Ronnie: tomorrow but that ain't happening if you've meant a word you said Joe: I'll make it worth it Ronnie: not hard to beat out retail when there's sales on Ronnie: wouldn't have gone if you were here or not Joe: don't tell me that Joe: I was talking 💸 not the #experience Ronnie: you wanna be my daddy too now? these roleplays are getting hard to keep count of Joe: again, thinking how much gear I'm gonna get but you can pout about it if you wanna Joe: already earned the scars so I don't mind saying it again Ronnie: rain man ain't a fantasy, gutted for you, like Ronnie: doing my best here Joe: you do it well Joe: smarter than everyone I know Ronnie: the princess will be gutted Joe: you don't have to tell her, like Joe: but not too fussed Ronnie: no secrets among scumbags baby Ronnie: even if she reckons she's levelled up Joe: you don't? Ronnie: anyone can drop a sprog Ronnie: trap a lad Ronnie: didn't saint your ma, did it? Joe: nah Joe: just don't reckon she was ever really one of us Joe: surprised if you do Ronnie: she wouldn't fight it so hard if she weren't Joe: I dunno Ronnie: I do, seen it loads Ronnie: gutters such a good fit it scares her shitless so she's gotta cling to that poor cunt Ronnie: he's her life raft through the shit Joe: hardly dragging him down though, is she Joe: not gonna be complaining any time soon, I've seen a lifetime of that Ronnie: everybody needs a fix that's theirs Joe: guess so Joe: no sign of getting over it any time soon Ronnie: I'm more likely to get clean before she does of him and I've got a nosebleed from all the shit B's ground up to stop me puking up Charlie's christmas feast Ronnie: sent my boss a pic though so it ain't all 💔 Joe: ☁ Joe: so glass half-full you, baby Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: can't be trusted with an empty one Joe: why are you the only one who talks any sense Joe: least all they're chatting is just waves now Ronnie: I pay attention Ronnie: you'd have broke your rules and 💘 me as a kid babe Joe: yeah? Joe: charlie's told me stories but never fully know what's bullshit or at the least exaggeration with him Ronnie: a solid 85% at least Ronnie: I was fucking feral though he's got that coined right Ronnie: you think I'm crazy now this shit's nothing Joe: I should've known you Ronnie: everyone who touched me back then has got a bite mark out of them Ronnie: you wouldn't have made it Joe: nah Joe: shit was different then Joe: so was I Ronnie: still gonna have been too soft whenever Joe: not the point though is it Joe: she should've got bitten Ronnie: she should've done loads of things Ronnie: she didn't Joe: I know Joe: fucked Ronnie: you won't give a shit tomorrow Joe: well Joe: be too numb to chat about it and think about it Joe: good as Ronnie: deal with it til then Joe: 🤐 got it Ronnie: unless you wanna bite your ma yourself like Ronnie: whatever gets you off Joe: you too Ronnie: cheers Ronnie: swallowing too much blood to fit in a dick but I'll try again later Joe: are you alright? Joe: where are the lads Ronnie: don't cry Ronnie: they're enjoying the show Ronnie: it ain't christmas til someone bleeds, pukes or pisses themselves Ronnie: can't give 'em the other two I ain't a pussy 💔 Joe: adorable, some would say Joe: is it really so much to ask that they keep you alive 'til I'm back Ronnie: relax I've had heavier periods Ronnie: you'll have to kill me yourself Joe: be fun trying Joe: challenge accepted Ronnie: hot Joe: don't forget it Ronnie: not gonna black out this shit ain't working that hard Joe: good Joe: call me needy all you want just don't go Ronnie: if I wanted to take the piss I could better than that Joe: not that gone either Ronnie: what are you on? Ronnie: 🍾 Joe: and my meds Joe: managed to get some extra 'cos I'm terrified of flying, obvs Ronnie: you're the one who's gonna die before you get here Ronnie: basically sober Ronnie: baby that's fucked Joe: I know Joe: options are limited Joe: not like I can go in on whatever anyone else is having when one lot is off the coke and the others are off the psychedelics Joe: fucking babies Ronnie: I mean, you could suck on the princess' tits but that ain't gonna give you what you really need Ronnie: talk to the dealer at your table, he's a baby too but he'll be holding something Joe: she's not got 3 Joe: and shut up Joe: though the latter isn't a terrible idea Joe: like you said, not gonna have anything good enough but Ronnie: I know, she weren't fully clothed for the 3way Joe: what part of shut up don't you get Ronnie: make me bitch Joe: such a twat you Ronnie: stop being a little fucking girl Joe: stop chatting about bullshit for a reaction Ronnie: you wanted me to stay Joe: yeah Joe: don't need to talk about that Ronnie: what then Ronnie: how much you love me Joe: anything but that Joe: literally Ronnie: I've plugged the 🩸 you can dry your eyes Joe: good Joe: don't be wasting it on something so lame Ronnie: you reckon that's lame I'm gonna have to eat the 💊 like it's the fucking 90s Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: very retro Joe: see what throwbacks I can get from this kid too Joe: be a party Ronnie: get your brother some poppers for his birthday Joe: probably be appreciated Joe: hence I won't Joe: chuck the obligatory tenner his way Ronnie: 🌈🙌 Joe: 😬 Ronnie: such a prude joseph Joe: you didn't have to live with them/partially raise them Joe: not something I wanna think about and they insist on making me constantly, pretty much Ronnie: didn't get to, you mean Ronnie: we're all 💔 babe Joe: you can revel in how much of a blessing it is on that score with your commiseration toast Ronnie: yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: now we're finishing each other sentences 💘😍 Joe: christ 😂 Joe: oh Joe: you know uni sophie is engaged now Joe: wanna go if they make it down the aisle? Ronnie: I really fucking do Ronnie: did I miss her engagement party? Joe: dunno actually Joe: I'll actually ask next time she tries to talk Joe: bet she's missed you almost as much as me Ronnie: ask her now she'll have wished you merry christmas Joe: how'd you know? Joe: hacked my accounts Joe: hot Ronnie: I could but don't need to Ronnie: a 💍 don't mean she ain't still 😍💘 for you mckenna Joe: still only human, after-all Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: awh come on Joe: you know you wanna see 'em all in their festive jumpers Joe: [sends post] Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: she one of your plan b girls like, she's got fat enough that you might wanna check she swallowed it Joe: ugh no Joe: any plan b baby of mine would be toddling by now Ronnie: reassuring Joe: if you want 99% on that front I'll sweep the old friends list Joe: make sure they've got no offspring with the 👂s Ronnie: you reckon I haven't Ronnie: living with such a computer whizz Joe: true Joe: his talents are probably better spent getting free netflix Ronnie: way ahead of you Joe: boxsets are what the season is really about Ronnie: gutted you ain't here, yeah? Joe: yeah Ronnie: you'll be back in time for the finale where the korean robots stop fighting to the death long enough to save the world or whatever the fuck Joe: 😂 Joe: can't wait Ronnie: 'course not Ronnie: edge of your seat shit Joe: do you ever think about going back Joe: to liverpool Ronnie: for what? Ronnie: am I losing the accent? 💔 Joe: not as bad as I have Joe: I dunno Ronnie: no fucker there I wanna see Ronnie: you'll have to do the mckenna childhood ghost tour on your own Joe: come on Joe: gear must be good Joe: fuss they made about it Ronnie: it's decent here Ronnie: take another swing babe Joe: cheaper there Joe: everything, like Ronnie: you know how to get freebies Joe: fine Ronnie: I'm not gonna play house with you in that shithole, shut the fuck up Joe: I said fine Joe: jesus Ronnie: couldn't hear it through your tears like Joe: piss off Joe: it ain't about you Ronnie: you asked me if I wanted to go back Ronnie: I ain't stopping you Joe: can't anyway Joe: doubt their orchestra pays as well Joe: assuming there is one Ronnie: if everything's cheaper they don't need to Joe: whatever Joe: be a stupid thing to do regardless Ronnie: and you never do anything stupid, yeah? Joe: it's the one area of my life I don't Joe: yeah Ronnie: don't be a prick Ronnie: you know you could join the philharmonic Joe: I ain't going Joe: forget about it Ronnie: fine Joe: funny Ronnie: feels like shit don't it, getting one back Ronnie: just 'cause you're surrounded by sprongs don't mean you can't use your words Joe: you don't wanna go, there's nowt else to say Ronnie: it ain't about me Ronnie: you forgot you just said that already? Joe: doesn't mean I wanna go without you Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: you can find another girl to shoot you up babe Joe: if you're gonna chat shit don't bother Joe: I love you Ronnie: give yourself a gift and hate me Joe: If I could, it'd have been on sight Joe: it's not like you charmed your way into my 💘 Ronnie: nah I injected myself into your veins Joe: don't give away your secrets Ronnie: not to shit on your christmas but it's only a secret for that lot where you are Joe: worst kept Ronnie: why keep it then? Joe: why announce it? Ronnie: you reckon she should get bitten, that'd do it Joe: 🥂 gather round fam Joe: they'd not believe it Joe: find a way to laugh it off, ignore the obvious Ronnie: roll up your sleeve, they can't fucking ignore that Joe: I'm pissing off mid-festivities Joe: that'll do it Ronnie: pussy Joe: what's it matter to you Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I mean it Joe: I'm coming back Ronnie: and that's all I give a shit about, yeah? Joe: obviously not Joe: but it makes no odds to you if I ruin their lives or not Ronnie: you're a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: but why specifically Ronnie: why the fuck do you think Joe: you want me to pick you Joe: to burn it all to the ground for them Joe: it ain't enough all the ways I've already done both Ronnie: you want me to be happy that you've had your cake and ate it Ronnie: nah, I hope you fucking choke baby Joe: I'll try my best Joe: I can't go back and make her keep you, there's shit I can do Ronnie: I don't want her, I want you Joe: it's been four fucking years Joe: you have me Joe: fucking Joe: I'd die without you Joe: I could get clean before I could leave you Ronnie: you did leave Joe: okay Joe: I did Joe: I left Ronnie: and they want you to stay Ronnie: these pricks want the princess here over me Joe: baby Joe: they want you Joe: they just need a chance to miss you, it's all it is Joe: we can go somewhere Joe: anywhere Ronnie: I'm fucking off to yours Ronnie: after that wherever Joe: I promise Joe: wherever you wanna Joe: and for how long Ronnie: wherever you want Ronnie: I don't give a shit Joe: it don't matter Joe: I just need to see you Ronnie: yeah Joe: you know I want you don't you Ronnie: show me when you drag your arse back here Joe: of course Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: it's like walking through a ghost town, you'd have such a boner if you were here Joe: shame Joe: is the cat there Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: singing carols for me Joe: she's talented Ronnie: shame I ain't a pushy stage ma Joe: why live vicariously when you can be a double-act babe Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna Joe: s'okay Joe: won't insist on being the warm-up Joe: not that kinda dad Ronnie: you need the practice though Joe: have to write my set on the plane Joe: impress you Ronnie: give you something to do besides cry and touch yourself Joe: not flying first Joe: or business even Joe: no blanket, no tissues Joe: 😿 Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I know Joe: tragedy Ronnie: I'm not doing the dance moves, like Ronnie: keep dreaming Joe: 💔 Joe: send me a video of your duet at least then Ronnie: [imagine that sassy cat please] Joe: I miss her Joe: shame she'd probably gouge our eyes out if we tried to take her with Ronnie: so will I but that ain't ever turned you off Joe: no one's going to ring RSPCA if they see me kidnapping you Ronnie: childline maybe Ronnie: I ain't forgot you said I had a fucking 👶 face you twat Joe: 😂 Joe: true Joe: but I'm banking on you being that offended you'll sort 'em out, like Ronnie: and you Joe: 💘 Joe: banking on that too Ronnie: 🖕💋 Ronnie: brb calling Briggs for a full face tat before you show up Joe: if you don't wanna kiss that bad, just say Ronnie: shut up Joe: so what's it to be Joe: spiders web Joe: skull Ronnie: see what the genius comes up with Joe: I look forward to the big reveal Ronnie: what time's your flight? Joe: [some ungodly AM 'cos xmas madness] Ronnie: fuck Joe: don't worry Joe: won't wake you Ronnie: all these pills will probably keep me up Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: n'awh, you wanna wait up for me Joe: how sweet 😏 Ronnie: kill yourself Ronnie: you've got more of my attention than korean death robots, calm down Ronnie: it's not a brag babe Joe: isn't it Joe: it's pretty epic if Bronson's livetweets are anything to go by Ronnie: it's the pills talking Joe: 😂 Joe: never have that affect on you 💔 Ronnie: deal with it Ronnie: I ain't gonna clean your flat, like Joe: probably enabling that, if you think about it Joe: so caring, babe Ronnie: how late did you leave packing there's shit everywhere Joe: I didn't Joe: only needed what I've got on Joe: got their presents in town Joe: easy Ronnie: you fucking knew you were gonna come straight back and still wanted me to beg Ronnie: maybe you ain't as soft as you were Joe: wanted makes it sound like I planned any part of it Joe: I knew I was coming back 'cos today was all I could stand Joe: being here, not being there Ronnie: don't ruin the fantasy Joe: poor baby Ronnie: yeah I am Ronnie: climbing the fucking walls here Joe: you or sid Ronnie: me and her Joe: babies Joe: what can I do Joe: need something to do Ronnie: do me Joe: alright Joe: call me Ronnie: [obviously does so we can end it there]
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1) I can has advice pls? I'm in a dillemma. So i work in a biotech startup. It's the best job i've ever had. I love the ppl, i LOVE how super organized and neat data keeping and benches and everything is and things are going super well for business. But i'm not doing much sciensing.. i'm more of a tech (I have a BA in bio). Like, i'm getting more skills, but absolutely not in what i wanna do. And it looks like as we expand, i'll be doing more of the same. I've asked about doing more lab stuff
and the boss was cool with it, so I’m learning & helping with more wet lab stuff for a week which is pretty interesting. I’ve also talked to the boss about getting a masters or a PhD so i can do REAL ™ science instead of what i do now lol. And he’s open to that. But i’m also a huge self-doubting lazy piece of shit lol. So now i’ll go through waves of feeling really excited about possibly learning more and becoming an expert. then i’ll feel like i shouldn’t have said anything bc i can't do that. It’s super hard to focus and what if i sign up for that shit and just NEVER find the energy to … like.. be a good grad student? Do you have any advice for battling this feeling and for not being a lazy piece of shit in general? I’m just so overwhelmed every time i think about how much i’ll have to learn.. and i can barely get through ONE paper as it is. I know exactly what i wanna study. It’s like my life goal. I’ll get super inspired after talking to some PhDs at work. And then i’ll try to concentrate on a science related thing and realize how bad my abilities are. I’m sorry this was a rant. I just wanted some advice. I probably can’t admit to anyone at work that I have mixed feelings about this. (Another thing adding to my dillemma is that i could potentially leave my job to go to a grad school far away… but idk if i should.. i love it here. i like where our research is going. but maybe i should become an expert so i have more negotiating power and don't end up being a lab tech. i could be like one of the PhDs that work with me. I could be an expert. I could be someone who can’t be replaced by a high school student. and i suppose the company will still be there when i graduate… but what if i would actually get better training doing my PhD as a part of my current job?) So. Any tips on how to approach this? Again, sorry for the super long rant. Thanks so much for reading!
eyyyyy first off, you don’t need to apologize for ranting! ranting is good! it’s healthy! and it makes one feel better yeah? so rant all you want! this is good you’re doing good
and if there ever was a “lazy piece of shit” that ever did chug along in grad school, it’s me. i don’t think it ever shows it through my posts here, but i am NOT like a type-A-go-getter person ever. i like taking my time, and slugging through stuff, and sometimes going the easy route is the best route. i love what i do but man, if i could like.. take naps every 4 hours then i totally would…
but what i AM good at is time management. i schedule everything EVERYTHING into my google calendar, so that way, i don’t even have to think about what to do next. i just see it in the calendar and do it. kinda like going to class. “laziness” gone!
and honestly, ask any grad student if they think they’re a “good” grad student, and they’ll say “i don’t think so…” which is bs right? but we say that because we’re our worst critics; we can’t see what others see, and that’s we all are good students. we gotta stop being our own critics and start being our own cheerleaders. and since your boss is supportive of you going to grad school, then it must be true he sees in you the potential to succeed in that right?
and tbh, from what you’ve said, you have everything it takes to get a higher degree in science. clear goals? check. passion to learn more? check. passion to THINK? check! these aren’t things someone can just “pick up”! but finding a way to expand your attention span or learning tricks of learning things? those can be easy to work on.
so from what you’ve said, my advice to you is to go for that masters or PhD. now the difference is a PhD will be way more intense than a Masters of course, but you’ll get to delve into deeper layers of your field, and be the ultimate inventor of something. a Masters teaches you more about the field; a PhD teaches you how to push the field. not exclusively, of course. there are many with a Masters who are just as accomplished as any PhD.
and, i will also say, that if you do go to grad school, be ready to live, breathe, eat, drink, sweat, bleed grad school. it consumes you; especially a PhD, because you do get into the “habit” of always thinking about your project/field. as an old PI once told me, “a PhD never turns their brain off”. but does that happen to everyone? eventually. maybe not when you’re admitted; maybe not even your first year. but one day! and i know it sounds exhausting, but it’s such a thrill! to be walking down the street and then suddenly have an AHA moment! gosh gosh that’s like one of the best feelings in the world really..
if you are hesitant though, you can start with a Masters. It’ll only take about 2 years, and is a really good “stepping stone” to a PhD should you decide to continue. many PhD’s do this, as it gives them a chance to poke around, and if they really do hate it, 2 years isn’t that long of a time. the only downside is there usually isn’t a stipend :\
and idk if your company does this, but some companies may even pay for your higher education. we have a current PhD student in my program who’s also working full time at a biotech company (so he’s also making like infinitely more than a grad student). you can see if your company has something like that? although may be more rare for a start-up.
as i said.. you got the big things that make up a grad student. the little things, like finding a study routine, a memory tactic, an attention-span-keeper… those are workable. passion is what makes a grad student tick, my friend. passion.
last thing… we need you. science needs you. and with all the stuff happening in the world (esp the US), now more than ever. who’s going to save the world? you are. from what you’ve said, i really do think you have what it takes to expand your horizons and follow your passion. is every grad student perfect? no! we all have our flaws, but that’s ok, because we’re human! so don’t let self-doubt stop you from saving the world. because self-doubt isn’t ever going to stop others from destroying the world, so get out there and kick. some. science. BUTT.
#i may or may not be buzzed btw#so if this is incoherent i apologize#but i mean every single word#but if you have any specific ques hit me up please!#advice#Anonymous#grad advice
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Hello! What do you plan on for your future career/what college do you want to go to? I'm kinda stuck right now because I LOVE art but I'm not sure what I wanna do in the department of it! I'm kinda mixed up being an animator or comic book artist or something! I'm too lazy to animate though. What are your plans? And how to you plan to make sure you reach your goal?
Hello! (And get ready for a long-ass answer.)
My goal in life (pertaining to my career) is to create things I want to create. There’s so many things I want to do and enjoy doing: writing (this includes plays, musicals, poems, lyrics, short stories, novels), drawing (comics, illustrations, maybe backgrounds for animation; I also find animation WAY too tedious for me), composing music (with lyrics, without lyrics, background music…) and probably some other things that have slipped my mind at the moment.
So it would be amazing if I could make a living creating things like that. Even if I don’t make a living from it, I would still be doing it!
I don’t have a real plan to reach that goal. Technically, I might already have reached that because I’m doing all of the things I mentioned (except making a living off of my art, which…I have no plan except to network, improve, and stick with my friends.)
Now, as for college…I have a cesspool of mixed feelings about college.
DISCLAIMER: I am currently a sophomore in high school, which doesn’t give me first hand experience, so I might be completely off base about some of my thoughts, and if I am, (S)WHOOPSIE
First off, if I were to go to college, it would most likely be an art school (I’m relatively uneducated on “normal” colleges). And I wouldn’t go for a degree, but more to meet new people, network, and ease the transition between high school and “the real world” as all my teachers call it.
I am definitely wary about student loans. If I don’t get at least a small scholarship to the school I’d go to, I don’t think I’d go. I really don’t want student loans to hang over my head for 20 years. (But then again, I might to college and have a lot of fun. I know you hear it all the time but life’s short, and I don’t want to spend it missing that experience of hanging out with like-minded people OR stressing out over student loans. Cyclic.)
Another point I consider about college is that it will always be there. If you’re really stressed during high school, take a year long break, THEN think about college. I might do that if I even go to college.
The top three schools I will apply to (but may or may not GO to) are CalArts (if I get accepted to CalArts I will scream it from the rooftops), SVA (School of Visual Arts), and SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design; I will actually be attending a week long program at SCAD this summer! Super excited about that).
I’m sure there are other excellent schools out there, but for now I’m focusing on those three.
But something that Tyson Hesse, a comic artist, said stuck with me: An employer will never look at anything but your portfolio. (I mean they’ll probably interview you to make sure you’re not a dick, but portfolio first.) Generally, an employer will choose someone with a great portfolio and no college degree over someone with a not-so-great portfolio and a college degree.
My thoughts keep going back and forth through the benefits of going to college and the benefits of not going to college. I don’t stress about it though. (I basically made myself forget how to be stressed during my first semester of my freshman year.)
SO now that that’s out of the way!
That’s super cool that you want to do art! You might not know what you want to do now and that’s completely fine. As I said before, there’s so many things I want to do! I stopped limiting myself from just visual art and branched out into other things I enjoy, which is totally something you can do! You may never know exactly what you want to do. Storyboarding one day, illustrating comics the next, then composing music, writing… you may never settle on a single thing, and our society kinda (subconsciously, perhaps) discourages those who don’t want to be know for or do only ONE THING.
This is a TED talk titled, “Why some of us don’t have one true calling” that may be relevant. I don’t completely agree with everything said in the video, but there are some interesting talking points that you might find enlightening or interesting.
WELP this response is longer than I thought it’d be. I’m sorry for the delay, but I wanted to wait until I could sit down at my computer to type up this reply so I didn’t miss anything I thought was important.
Thanks for asking! I hope I answered your question or gave you some things to think about!
0 notes
Conversation
Texting with Freemance
Alyx: gordon! i found this cool article about bees wanna see it
Gordon: Of course. You know how much bees fascinate me.
Alyx: According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a bee in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've got to.
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't.
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry.
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.
You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.
But I don't recall going to bed.
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you...
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Oan I...
...get you something?
- Like what?
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?
I don't want to put you out.
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.
You look great!
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
Is that a bee joke?
That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don't know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.
Are you...?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!
- Yeah.
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again... for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well...
- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can't get by that face.
So who is she?
She's... human.
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
We're not dating.
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...
Sit down!
...really hot!
- Listen to me!
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He's in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I'm talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Don't be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn't respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!
I'm not listening to this.
Sorry, I've gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
Bye.
I just hope she's Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!
You don't have that?
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You've really got that
down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
You don't have
enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
And it's hard to make it!
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!
It's just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done?
- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I'll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You're busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You're too late! It's ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they're on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You're not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I'm going to Tacoma.
- And you?
- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.
But don't kill no more bugs!
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something?
- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.
I mean, that honey's ours.
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.
It's a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!
That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There's hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He's been talking to humans.
- What?
- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.
- No.
Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It's a common name. Next week...
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...
Next week...
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
I'm helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you're three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It's pretty big, isn't it?
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.
- No.
- No.
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven't.
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury's on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I'm a florist.
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!
- Hello.
I didn't think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
You think I don't see what you're doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I've just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I've got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?
Surf's up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!
We need to talk!
He's just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I'm sorry about all that.
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...
Yeah.
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We're friends.
- Good friends?
- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute...
Are you her little...
...bedbug?
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?
He's denouncing bees!
Don't y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
Oh, I'm hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
I...
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can't explain it. It was all...
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don't know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
- Why?
- The smoke.
Bees don't smoke.
Right. Bees don't smoke.
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That's it! That's our case!
It is? It's not over?
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about...
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It's a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
Gordon: Alyx?
Gordon: Alyx, why have you done this to me?
Gordon: Alyx, I trusted you. 8(
#out of combine (ooc)#you did do the math right? (crack)#alyx#gordon#the vance and the freeman (ship)#i'm sorry
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