#i wanna divulge in how much this goes especially for black women because we only really have 1 standard portrayed in the media
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I do think one of the big confidence boosters is to stop worrying about looking pretty or attractive. If you get ready and just aim to look "cool", you'll feel good about yourself aesthetically a lot more than aiming for arbitrary standards of beauty
#i wanna divulge in how much this goes especially for black women because we only really have 1 standard portrayed in the media#which is the baddie buss down aesthetic#we need more rico nasties and doja cats (4chan shit aside)#and the inbetween aesthetics that aren't necessarily alt but just looking a little “off”#like a Mia Goth#just reminders that we have more options besides being a saweetie#anyway i started feeling hotter when i stopped aiming for the conventional beauty standards and just accepted i can just look cool#not sexy not pretty not hot not cute just#cool style cool hair#i dont have to feel self conscious that i'm not reaching the beauty standards if i don't actually aim for it#like what is the point anyway#mine#beauty standards#dykeposting
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i also feel like i would be open to more certain things if he was the same race. i never in my life thought that i would fall in love with someone that isn’t black. in my head i genuinely thought (especially because i went through a very radical phase in high school) i would only ever seriously date a black person
when i was younger i told myself i would only procreate with another black person because i genuinely just want a black child and not gonna lie i still feel the same way. my very formative years when i was trying to learn more was all filled with black love and black radicalization.
i love my man to beyond’s, i would do almost anything for him. but whenever he sends baby shit or something along the lines they are never black. i cannot see myself having a child that isn’t black. a part of me wants to give home one purely out of love but then my cognitive brain reminds me that’s dumb asf.
there was a moment when he said he wanted his child hair to be like his, like he didn’t want them to have black hair, i do not want to have a child with a non black person i can’t. i don’t even want a child to begin with but when i had imagined them they were black like me.
i can’t, i don’t see myself having a kid with a man that most likely wants his kid to look lightskin and bright like him. i don’t want a child that goes on the internet to then use me as a means to say the n word. like oh my mom is black even though i don’t look it i can still say it. i don’t want that. i want a fully monoracial black child. he will not be getting a baby from me especially because i don’t even wanna be a mom fr, but after you saying you want the child to have your hair oooh yeah
i wish this nigga woulda just found him a fat booty afro latino that’s what he actually wants and needs. the way this man would show me other women he is attracted to. i would NEVER send him a pic of a fucking guy with his print out but it’s okey if it’s a girl and he’s sending it to me right.
i just know based of certain things i would never do certain things for him. i will not have his child i don’t even fucking want kids and i’m going to convince myself just cause of a dumb ass strong emotion like love. i’m also not having a child with a non black person because y’all be anti black asf. he has said some questionable things but i don’t even go back on him with it because he says he’s changed. but i find that very funny cause this man gone say that black people can get away with certain things, meanwhile i wasn’t legit never racist.
i said certain things as a joke but he would take it further, me thinking it’s still jokes i would just agree. i never said any racist shit but he would and i would just laugh cause i’ve had jokes like this with non romantic relationships and it was fine. we kikied. him tho, i felt like he wanted to paint black people as oppressors.
like to say that a black person could get away with saying something racist when in the fucking media, on a wider fucking scale that’s all they blame on black ppl. anything that america has done (actually white colonizers) is somehow blamed on black americans for “upholding” as if black americans too do not suffer in america. i’m not even fucking african american, i got a whole country to claim but i see the shit.
it’s fucking weird how you can divulge so much into black american culture, so much to the point you’re saying the people that raised you and gave yo YOUR culture wouldn’t understand a black american song or reference. you non blacks divulge soo much into black culture you fuckin think it’s yours. like y’all will legit know where you’re from, you’re family has culture and heritage but still heavily engage with and align with black culture and rap (especially if you’re a non black male) but in the same breath shit on black americans howwww???
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𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
summary: bucky’s been flirting with you, but hasn’t taken it further than that. frustrated, you decide to take matters into your own hands.
word count: 2.1k
warnings: occasional swearing (but not much) and frustrating flirting (I’d be melting if it was happening to me). besides that, this fic is pure fluffy fun.
author’s note: hello there! this is my second fic; I’m very excited to post it! I found the header image here, and if you want to listen to the song I reference in this fic, you can listen here. bold text indicates singing, while italicized text refers to inner thoughts. likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! I hope you like it! 💖
Bucky Barnes is an acquaintance at best. The two of you rarely work together, and with conflicting schedules, you see little of each other around the compound. On a random Friday in April, however, something changes in you. The moment is nothing out of the ordinary. You’re sitting on the couch in the main living space, re-reading one of your favorite books. Bucky has just returned from a mission; you glance up to see his exhausted expression. He catches your eye, winking with a smile, before walking to his room. Your heart flutters and your head freezes at the response. “Oh, no,” you think to yourself. “Maybe that was a one-time thing? I don’t actually like him, right?” Wrong.
Ever since that night, the mere presence of Bucky Barnes drives you crazy: his stunning blue eyes that squint ever so slightly when he smiles, his adorable nose that crinkles when he laughs, his pillowy lips that you lose yourself in, his fluffy hair you can’t help but imagine running your fingers through, his scruff speckled jawline that you wish would brush along your hands, cheeks, anywhere really. He occupies your dreams; you can’t escape this man even if you try. Today, he drives you crazier than usual. He stands in the compound's kitchen in a tight black t-shirt, one that leaves nothing to the imagination. This is the first time you’ve seen him in short sleeves, in anything other than tactical gear. You can’t help but stare as he prepares his lunch. The shirt hugs his frame tight, accentuating his biceps that had no right to be that big. “Gosh, he must spend hours in the gym to look like that.” You then notice the vein in his right arm protruding from his skin, tracing it with your eyes. You didn’t think he could become any more beautiful, but here he is before you, incredible as ever.
You’re pulled from your reverie when Bucky calls your name. “Yeah?” you reply, barely masking the startled stutter in your voice.
“Pass me the salt?”
“Oh! Sure, of course,” you muster, taking a sip of water from the glass in front of you as you hand him the salt shaker.
“Thanks, doll,” he flirts with a smile, the same one he gave you that night when he got back to the compound. You nearly choke. “Bucky Barnes called me a term of endearment?!? Holy shit.” Your heart swells and you look down at your glass in a desperate attempt to hide the blush creeping its way across your cheeks. “Goodness gracious, I respond this way from a simple word?” You couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if he touched you.
It didn’t take long to find out. The following day, you stand in the kitchen prepping your lunch, singing softly along to the song playing from your phone. Bucky appears soon after. He stands close to you for a moment, closer than necessary, but of course you don’t mind. He has just showered; his cologne lingers in the air, intoxicating you. Somehow, you keep singing along, showing no sign that your mind is elsewhere.
“Ugh, he smells amazing. This man has too much power over me; this is ridiculous! I don’t even remember what I was doing—”
“You have a beautiful voice,” he compliments.
“Thank you, Bucky,” you softly reply, your heart racing at his praise.
“Let me get by you real fast, doll,” he says, moving to walk behind you.
“There he goes again with the pet name. My god, could this get any worse—”
He places his hands gently on your hips as he moves beside you. Electricity travels through your whole body; you’re internally screaming at his touch. His hands feel better than you imagined. Even though the contact lasts only a moment, the effects of his touch linger after, leaving you speechless.
You hear a musical chuckle from the man behind you. “Is he teasing me? It sure feels like it,” you wonder. There is no way that he can’t see the effect he has on you. Before you can even formulate another thought, he touches you again as he moves back to the other side of you. “That was definitely on purpose; certainly he wouldn’t do this by accident. Right?”
Your eyes linger as he finishes putting together his lunch. He catches your gaze and smiles. “See you later, sweetheart,” he says with a wink before leaving the room. “Okay, that answers my question; that was very intentional. What am I going to do with myself?”
You don’t know how much longer you can take his teasing. Throughout the week, he ups his antics, calling you pet names more than your own, stealing touches whenever he can get away with it, smiling whenever you make eye contact. The tension is insatiable; thoughts of Bucky follow you everywhere. You decide to take matters in your own hands; Bucky did not seem to be planning to make a move anytime soon. If he is going to tease the hell out of you, you might as well get some payback.
───────────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ ─────────────
Tony’s announcement of Friday night karaoke gives you a wicked idea. However, for it to work, you need to recruit help. You know just who to ask. It doesn’t take long to find Sam and Steve; they spent a ton of their free time sparring in the gym. They seem to be at the end of their workout, their movements slow and sloppy, relying on witty retorts to throw off the other. They stop when they notice your arrival.
“Hey!” Sam says with a smile, hugging you as you approach. You squeeze him tightly, even with his sticky sweat coating his arms. You greet Steve with a hug too.
“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Steve asks as you let go.
“Can I ask you guys something? And you promise you two won’t laugh at me? Especially if I'm reading this wrong?”
“Of course,” answers Steve.
“Yeah, for sure,” replies Sam.
You hesitate for a second, taking a deep breath. “Does Bucky like me? I swear he does. He keeps teasing me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I think I am practically in love with the guy at this point, he’s so beautiful and—”
You stop as the boys exchange glances and begin laughing.
You cross your arms, hurt. “You said you wouldn’t laugh at me! I can’t control how I feel.”
“No! Wait! We aren’t laughing at you!” Steve says between giggles.
You furrow your brows. “Then why are you laughing?”
“Bucky’s obsessed with you,” Steve answers after calming his laughter.
“God, yes, you’re all he talks about nowadays,” Sam adds.
“What?! He does? Why? Are you shitting me right now? Because that would be really freaking mean—“
“No! Of course not,” Steve insists. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”
“And the pet names he gives you?” Sam adds.
“And how he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself lately?” Steve finishes.
Now you feel stupid for even asking. Of course you noticed all of those things. They were all you ever thought about. “Well, yeah, but maybe he does that with all the girls.”
“What girls?” Sam retorted. “The only women who are here often enough to cross paths with him are you, Natasha, and Wanda. Wanda’s with Vision, as weird as that is, but love is love. Natasha shoots daggers at anyone who looks at her with love in their eyes. That leaves you.”
“Why in the world would he like me? Of all people? He’s out of my league,” you sigh,
Sam’s scoff pulls you from your thoughts. “Bucky? Out of your league? He’s a crazy ex-assassin with emotional issues! If anything, he's out of your league.”
“You’re a catch, why wouldn’t he like you?” Steve assures.
Steve and Sam always know just what to say to make you feel better. “I guess you’re right,” you admit with a defeated grin.
“So, you know how Bucky feels. What are you going to do about it?” Steve asks.
“I have an idea, but I need your help.”
“We’re listening.”
You divulge your plan to them. They smile, hyping you up.
“Dude, I’m so down!” Sam exclaims, clapping his hands in excitement.
“You think this will work?”
“Definitely,” Steve assures. “This is going to be amazing!”
“Okay then, we’re doing this. Let’s go find Bucky. Time to initiate phase one.”
───────────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ ─────────────
Bucky is sitting on the common room couch, flipping through a book when he sees you, Sam, and Steve enter. He exchanges a glance with you, smiling as your eyes light up. The three of you sit down. You’re sitting next to Sam, closer than usual. There’s a brief moment of silence before you speak. “Sam, are you going to karaoke night?”
“Of course! Wouldn’t miss everyone’s drunk-ass singing for the world.”
“Will you be my duet partner?”
This catches Bucky’s attention. He looks up from his book. Why the hell were you asking Sam to sing with you? You normally ask the girls...
“Sure thing, baby. It’ll be a ton of fun!” Sam smiles.
Baby?! What?! How dare he call you a pet name, his girl, right in front of him? Well, you may not be his girl yet, but Sam knows how he feels about you. What the hell is he thinking?
“Yay! This’ll be so fun!” You hug him, grabbing his hand before continuing, “Wanna practice with me in a bit?”
“Find me when you’re ready, sweetheart,” Sam answers, kissing your knuckle before letting go of your hand.
Sweetheart?! What the fuck was going on? Did he miss his shot? Would Sam really do that to him? Bucky can barely handle his swirling thoughts. He storms out of the room without looking back.
Steve can’t help but laugh once Bucky is out of earshot. “That worked a little too well, wouldn’t you say so?”
“That wasn’t too far, was it?” you ask with a worried expression on your face.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. He’ll just come on even stronger now. He won’t give up on you that easily,” Sam assures you.
───────────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ ─────────────
Bucky can barely contain his anger as you step on the stage with Sam, giggling and smiling at your karaoke partner. Jealousy engulfs him. He can barely listen to the start of the song, ignoring the catchy beat blasting through the speakers. He doesn’t recognize the song, but looks up from his drink when you sing, “Hey Bucky boy, what you doing tonight? I wanna see what you got in store."
He looks right at you. Did she just say Bucky?
Sam echoes, “Hey, hey Bucky!” Well, that answers his question.
“You're giving it your all when you're dancing on me. I want to see if you can give me some more,” you continue, twirling your fingers through your hair.
“Hey, hey Bucky!”
“You can be my man, I can be your girl, and we can pump this jam however you want,” you sing, swaying your hips to the cadence of the lyrics.
“Hey, hey Bucky!”
“Pump it from the side, pump it upside down, or we can pump it from the back and the front,” you wink as you finish the line. Bucky sits up suddenly, crossing his legs, his face turning beet red. You smile, knowing the plan was working. Steve laughs from beside him. He keeps his eyes glued on you as the two of you continue the song, utterly entranced. You look him right in the eye as you end the song, “I want you tonight.”
You saunter over to where he is sitting after high-fiving Sam, confidence filling your chest. “So, what did you think of my performance, Bucky?”
You yelp as he grabs your hips and pulls you down to sit on his lap. His voice deepens, “you’re such a tease, you know that right?”
You laugh. “I’m the tease? Really? You’re the one who just pulled me onto your lap and taunts me with flirtatious remarks and smiles all freaking day. My god Bucky, make a move already—”
He cuts you off, pulling you in for a kiss, his flesh arm grabbing the back of your neck. The team whoops and cheers.
“Glad you finally made a move, Bucky,” you pant as your lips part from his.
“Best decision I ever made in my life, doll.” Before you can respond, he kisses you again, the karaoke bar fading in the background as you finally embrace the man of your dreams.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes reader insert#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes#mickey-henry#bucky barnes fic#my fic: hey bucky#mel's writing
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