#i very obviously changed the colors but i do slightly regret this version of it. variations to come soon

[arzomago]

Practicing digital painting with a Prisoners (2013) scene.

[aestheticanimegirl15]

Meeting their future S/O

Pairing: Kirishima, Bakugo, and Amajiki + Fem!Pregnant! Reader 

Summary: These poor babies don't know what happened when you suddenly fell out of a portal into their laps. They are even more confused when they see you sporting a baby bump.

TW:None (other than some slight cussing) just some cute fluff and confused teenage boys.

Omg I never knew people would like my brain dumps so much🥺 thank you!! I really hope you like this one I saw a similar theme on another page but I can't seem to find it so I can credit them😔.Please excuse bad grammar and spelling. Hope you like it!! Stay safe and beautiful 🌸🦋✌🏻

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Kirishima 🦈

🦈 This poor baby was so confused at what had just happened. He was sitting in the common room playing on his phone while Bakugo yelled at someone/something (he had gotten used to his yelling by now and tuned him out.). 

🦈 Next thing he knew a beautiful girl landed in his lap from a portal above him. She not only knocked the air out of him but also fought everyone's attention with her pretty noticeable baby bump. 

🦈 "What did you do!?" Denki shouted at him while helping you out of Kiri's lap.

🦈 "How am I supposed to know she fell out of the sky!" Kirishima yelled back. 

🦈 Everything got even more confusing when they saw the wedding ring on your left hand and your shirt (Which was oversized,black, and had a picture of a much older Kirishima on it,sporting an absolute MANE of red hair, with the words RED RIOT in bold under it.)

🦈 Iida had already started bombarding you with questions about your physical health and didn't notice you grabbing Kirishima's hand and squeezing it while also holding your bump. 

🦈 "Guys guys leave her alone already. Can't you see you're stressing her?" He said while helping you up and shooing everyone away as he took you to his dorm room. 

🦈 Once there he hears you giggle and mumble something about how "It's a little messier than what you told me."

🦈 Shark.exe has crashed. Excuse me what? Did he know you? He tried to rack his brain for an answer but never found one. 

🦈 "Um do you have your husband's number? Maybe we could call him and ask him to come pick you up." Kirishima says while grabbing his phone ready to dial whatever combination of numbers you gave him.

🦈 "You really don't know me yet do you?" You said lightly shifting your body so you could sit on his bed and get off your slightly aching feet. Kirishima shook his head slowly feeling like he did something wrong before another portal opened up and in walked (more like ran) a older and, in his mind, more manly version of him

🦈 Immediately you sprang up and hugged the male and letting out a rather loud “Kiri!!” The male hugged you back before asking if you were ok and placing his hands on your stomach.”I’m fine Kiri I just want to go home and see our son.”You said giggling before turning back to current Kirishima who looked almost ready to pass out.

🦈 “I’ll see you in the future but a little hint.” You leaned in and muttered in Kirishima’s ear “I’m the only one who calls you Eiji.” But before he could piece it together you were already gone.

🦈 P.S He did figure it out and gained the courage to ask you out and the first date went amazing save for the fact he tripped and fell. He totally embarrassed himself but you made it better by giving him a kiss at the end of the date. 

Bakugo💥

💥 Ok bear with me on this one, how this played out Bakugo was walking in the dorm building, after he had his ass handed to him in training, when he heard someone yelling, like YELLING, louder than even him. He walked to the kitchen ,where the noise was coming from, and saw a woman with a large pregnant stomach yelling at Denki who had taken away some of Bakugo’s personal stash of very spicy chips from her.

💥 At first he was mad that someone had actually found the secret stash, then he was amazed that someone was able to handle the amount of spice the chips had (he won’t admit it but even to him sometimes the chips were too hot to handle). 

💥 Denki sees Bakugo watch the situation before he runs behind Bakugo while screeching “Bro get your girlfriend!!” (poor Denki can't get a break) 

💥 “Hey don’t hide behind him you coward! Give me the chips back!” You yelled at the blonde, who by now had run away into the safety of his room, but soon the anger turned to happiness when you saw Bakugo. “Baby!” You squealed and (tried) to run to him but he held his arms out and backed away.

💥 “Woah, woah, woah who are you calling baby!?” Bakugo yelled and in turn made you stop and hold under your stomach.

💥 “You silly! Don’t you remember me?” You say suddenly going quiet for a second.

💥 “No!? Should I?” Bakugo now regretting what he said, I mean you were obviously heavily pregnant and you called him ‘ baby’. He was trying to rack his brain of any ‘’ extras’’ he had come into contact with but came up with nothing. Though he did find it strange that you kinda looked like a girl he liked to pick on from class 1-B. 

💥 Your mouth opened in a quiet realization “You don’t know me yet do you?” To which the male responded with a confused shake of his head. You didn’t seem upset about it though like he thought you would. 

💥 “Well then can you help me get to the couch please? My back is starting to hurt from standing for so long.” You said almost shyly glanging down at your large stomach before back up at Bakugo. He nodded silently and helped you over to the couch where you gladly sat down and grabbed his wrist lightly. “Can you please stay? I know you have no clue who I am but if you wanted to know I will tell you.” You said happily. 

💥 After he sat down (and gave you back the spicy chips that Denki stole) you told him everything, about how you met, how things are in the future, and much to his surprise how his future self proposed to you. (He thought his future self was both amazing and an annoying simp for you). You started to giggle at his surprised face when you finished the story and it turned into a full blown laugh when he looked at the engagement ring on your finger then to your large stomach. 

💥 Wait, that would mean he……....Pomeranian has died and  left the chat. 

💥 But before he could ask to make sure a portal opened up and an older and ahem…. More muscular version of him appeared and his future self almost sprinted to you and hugged you tightly (being careful of your stomach of course). Future him pulled away and looked over you for any sort of injuries and, when finding none, turned to his current self. 

💥 “Thanks for taking care of her for me.” His future self says “It might not seem like it now, especially after that beating you took today in training, but things are going to get better. Trust me.” His future self mummers quietly before picking you up bridal style and going back through the portal.

💥 The next time he sees you he doesn't pick on you or call you an extra much to the confusion of you and his classmates. But he knows it will make sense in the future and he holds onto what his future self said “Everything is going to be ok.”

Amajiki🐙

🐙 This poor shy boy didn’t even know what hit him when he walked into his dorm and saw a pregnant woman holding a child that oddly looked similar to him. Miro had grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the woman sitting on the couch holding the child protectively. 

🐙 Amajiki was even more confused when the small child jumped out of the girls arms and ran to him and HUGGED him yelling “Daddy!!” His face turned about 70 shades of red and he kept stumbling over his words still trying to comprehend the situation. 

🐙 “Lillia!” You said making the little girl look back at you. The little girl had rather long wavy hair that was the exact color of Amajiki’s just a little lighter and she had his dark violet eyes. She looked like an exact carbon copy of him. 

🐙 “Sorry mommy..”Lillia whispered and crawled back into the woman’s lap and hugged her large stomach. This poor boy was so confused. The little girl, who couldn’t have been any older than 4, called him daddy and the woman mommy and the last time he checked he was still (sadly) a virgin. 

🐙 “I’m sorry about that Amajiki . She doesn't understand that you have no clue who we are yet.”  You said looking down at the little girl as you rubbed her small back. Lillia had her cheek squished against your stomach whispering things to the unborn baby. 

🐙 Amajiki flushed red again and started to mess with his fingers, his anxiety starting to kick in a little. “B-but she c-called me daddy?” He mumbled out shyly making you smile lightly

🐙 “God you haven’t changed much since highschool.” You said rubbing your lower stomach. Amajiki flushes red again but manages to gain the courage to sit next to you. The little girl tries to crawl over to him but stops when she looks at your stern face. Amajiki notices this and says something about it being ok and Lillia quickly goes and crawls into his lap hiding her tiny face in his chest. 

🐙 At first he freezes up not being used to human contact much but calms down rather quickly(which is odd since he never really calms down at human contact). He looks over at you and tries to figure out who you are, he has never seen you around campus before and does not recall seeing you at the festival. 

🐙 You smiled as you watched him try to figure out who you were. You knew what he was doing since whenever he was thinking really hard his eyebrows would furrow together and he basically looked like he was pouting.

🐙  It was so adorable. 

🐙  Well it was until he realized if his future self actually WAS your boyfriend/fiance/husband whatever that meant he also……. Shy.boi.exe left the game

🐙 You were about to explain but a portal opened and a older version of Amajiki practically ran through and grabbed your face lightly checking you over before looking Lillia over who latched herself onto his leg 

🐙 "Baby we're fine." You said holding the side of his face letting him calm down. Older Amajiki looked over to his present self and smiled mumbling out a thank you before picking both Lillia and you up and disappearing through the portal. 

🐙 His current self did end up finding out who you were. You worked part time at a flower shop that he walked past a lot going to the park. (He ended up buying some flowers from you and you had slipped your number between some of the flowers.)

[shesawriter39049]

|UNWRAP ME| M|

Pairing : Jimin X Reader (Ft a lil Tae)

“There’s a bow on my panties because my ass is a present!”

About- Honestly, you were just trying to prep gift bags for your company’s holiday party! But Jimins stressed, and needs a little brain reset sooo….I guess we’re prepping gift bags later!

Or- The company has quite a few deadlines to hit before you guys close for the holiday! Jimin’s in charge of talent and everybody’s fucking up…but in your line of work it’s a domino affect! So if his crew falls behind ultimately everybody’s behind! Hints Jimin’s stress and frustration....

WC: Sneak peek (1k)

WARNINGS: (FULL THING): Teasing, light edging, dirty talk, top/bottom OC, top/power bottom Jimin, hand restraints, unprotected sex, over stimulation, fingering (F receiving), biting/marking kink, VERY light degration kink (he playfully calls her a “little bitch/slut” once) light come play, light spanking

FINAL NOTE: This is a stand alone smut drabble within my OT7 poly universe called “7 DEEP”. Short AU SUMMARY: Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! P.S. If you’re new here Kookie joins the party a little later….

*Pierced Jimin/Red haired “Dope” Era Jimin meets 2020 Jimin!?

*Also it should go without being said but Jimin, IS Westernized, he’s from LA in this ffs!

*In true Rocki fashion I decided to do holidy prompts late af & did not finish in time for the main Holiday but w/e! Note, there is some backstory here bc this was set to be the 1st of 3 holiday prompts!** ___________________________________________________

Sunday, December 14TH, 4PM 

“Alright, so you wanna hear some bullshit?!”

K, well that’s apparently Jimin, musing around a mouth full of fries! I love how no one even bothers to knock, give notice they just show the fuck up! Whenever...

Cute.

I swear it sounds like your running a damn liquor store because there’s an obnoxious amount of bells and mistletoe hanging above the door almost acting as a doorbell at this point. Just casually Fa-la-laing together, echoing throughout your entire apartment every damn time the door opens! Honestly, your slowly regretting giving Jin and Tae free reign with decorations because that shits annoying as all hell!

Gaze still focused on your original task, not even looking in his direction “Don’t trip over the-�� There's a loud thud, followed by an obscene groan, accompanied by an even louder “Fuckkk!” Which solidified he did in fact trip over the ....

“....Box with Jin’s other Christmas tree in it ...” The words kinda died off your tongue at this point because well, clearly the warning did not fare well! “If anything’s broken I’m totally snitching just so we’re clear” Sassing over a half empty glass of spiked eggnog.

Now that you’ve finally looked at him, you find yourself hiding a smirk behind your cocktail as well! The boy is fine, you’d give him that! Looking like a model off duty, in his low cut white v, neck hidden beneath a distressed leather jacket! Topping off the look with a pair of chunky combats and disrespectfully tight dark wash denim jeans! I swear they damn near looked painted on, aviators resting on the bridge of his nose! Gucci backpack slung over his shoulder, Starbucks in one hand, and some brown bag full of grease in the other! Jimin recently went back red, looking dangerously close to the same 18 year old you met, at UCLA almost years ago now!  Just a boujier version, it’s like this Jimin’s from Calabasas instead of the Bay! Though your down for both options if we’re being real!

Not that Jimin’s not equally as good of company as well, you were honestly just expecting Tae! The two of you were starting to put together the gift bags for next week's holiday party! Hints the hot ass mess all over the floor of your living room, it’s a disgusting pile of shopping bags and boxes! Everything from Amazon to Saks Fifth, at this point you aren’t even sure where the fuck your floor starts or ends! One thing you do know for damn sure is Hobi’s going to have an aneurysm If he sees it! Sooo, hopefully Tae shows up sooner than later...

It’s become a tradition, or at least since the companies been profitable enough to do so! First off, you’re love language has always been a combination of “Gifts” and “Acts of service, so shit like this is essentially second nature!

However, quality time has slowly slipped its way into the mix over the past couple of years as well! Especially considering it’s almost a luxury for the seven of you at this point but you try not to complain! I mean Namjoon and yourself just did an interview last week for Forbes 30 under 30 for fucks sake! But anyway, like I was originally saying this little party is your way of trying to give your staff a combination of all 3 said love languages!

Above everything else you all work your asses off well, aware this is far from a 9-5, yet they give you their best constantly! Yeah, it was built on the backs of you and your boys but it wouldn’t be were it is now without everyone else! So, with that being said the schedule is as follows! 

1.Bust ass and hit all of your year end deadlines by December 22nd. 

2.The holiday party is on the 23rd...

3. Thennnnnn....after that the companies closed until the 2nd of January! 

Well kinda, if we’re being real the 7 of you never fully stop working, but you damn sure plan to try! I guess it’s the beauty and the curse of having damn near everything accessible on your phone! I swear this morning Joon was washing your back whilst you read him the latest profit/loss update from Jin soooo......that’s that!

Everyone else however....off duty with pay!

Which brings us back to the original task at hand before Jimin showed up,prepping the gift bags that get handed out at said holiday party! The invite list is pretty exclusive honestly,outside of your staff, and there plus one, the other guests are typically the immediate crew/ talent used throughout the year on various productions! Oh, there’s also special little packages mailed out to a couple of the company's sponsors as well! So all together were looking at at least 100 gift bags give or take! Of course at this stage you guys go all out but that’s not what it’s about! It’s legitimately the thought that counts!

Little gestures like this just remind people that you care,that they’re on your mind even if they aren’t currently doing you a favor! That’s what sets Onyx apart, all the little things you do without even thinking about it! Coffee, donuts, catering on set for long shoots,or even the little kits Jimin brings with him to set for the models! Fully stocked with soothing cream, heating pads, the full nine! It’s actually sad how much of a rarity it is in your line of work! 

Obviously, it goes without saying that those types of gestures aren’t feasible for everyone....However there’s companies worth more than you that do amples less!

But anyway back to Jimin and Tae! As I mentioned when the door originally opened you were expecting a mop of silver locks as opposed to red! Baby boy ran out to pick up the custom gift bags from this Indie vendor in WeHo. Hint’s why you were expecting Tae instead, now, why Jimins here I have no damn idea! Clearly we’re about to find out and apparently it’s “Some Bullshit!”

Honestly outside of checking his OOTD you didn't truly look at him. Far too busy propped on top of your oversized dining room table sorting through a manusery of  “Thank you” cards!

Eyes flicking to the left ever so slightly as you hear him shuffle closer “I-yeah sure what bullsh-wait are you eating my DoorDash?!”

It’s the way you constantly have to remind yourself that jail will not be like Orange is in the new black! Because I swear you damn near chucked this martini glass at that fire engine red dome of his!

Jimin just shrugs, a little nonchalant and unenthusiastic, almost as if he’s inconvenienced actually...

“Mmm, depends on perspective” He deadass just stuffed two more fires in his mouth! You're literally going to strangle him! It’s borderline painful how hard  your jaw tick, eyes narrowed in his direction!

Brows arched so damn high your gonna end up needing Botox from the permanent crease embedding within your skin. “Perspect-your literally eating-“

Holding a solitary finger in your direction “Tae just text me and said look at your phone and text him back...with like, a million pouty faces. Also, different note, who changed the decorations I placed on the mantle?! “

Jimin’s hand is now resting on his hip, legitimately angry about these damn decorations! I think his neck even did a couple rolls in the process, and I’m willing to bet,before he leaves they will be swapped out again!

A frustrated groan attempts to leave your throat  though it goes unacknowledged as your lacking any ounce or bite! Far too fond of both of your boys to truly be agitated at the moment! Actually that’s a lie, you high key wanna punch Jimin but it’s fine ....

“That, would be Jin, he said they clashed with the table decor” Pointing to all of the gold, and maroon colored decorations donning the marble coffee table “So, if your pissed go curse him out because I could give less than a damn! Now where the fuck is my phoneeee”

Hopping off the table causing your oversized UCLA Alum hoodie to hike over your ass. Said ass is covered or barely covered considering your cheeky, red, ruffle little panties are in fact assless! A cute little bow perched right on top of your tailbone, as if to direct the eye where to go….

Jimin is now choking on stolen fires and yeah there’s a smirk on your face as you grab your phone!

Mmmmhmmmm...and to think, maybe if he wasn’t being such a brat you’d let him unwrap one of his gifts a little early!

“Baby now he’s calling meeee” Anddddd he’s whining, wiggling his phone like it’s on fire! Ya know, moments like these in fact remind you that Tae and Jimin are the youngest!

“Oh for fucks sake!” Huffing in his direction snatching the phone and bag of Five Guys away in the process!

“Yes baby?” It’s actually terrifying how quickly your tone, and entire demeanor just switched! Somewhat reminiscent to how you’d see a mom scold one child then baby talk another all in the same breath! 

Jimin without a doubt noticed too, lip jutting out in a pout and no matter how many times you roll your eyes you still find yourself leaning forward kissing it right off! He moans into it and you Instantly taste the tangy seasoning from your fries, especially once he tries to swipe his tongue past the seam of your lips. The feeling of that tiny piece of metal playing in his mouth almost distracted you, but alas...the notion immediately reminds you why you were irked to begin with! Without even thinking you lean back into nipping at his bottom lip, though...this is Jimin we’re dealing with here! So whatever you thought you’d achieve is now dead, because a needy little whine just rustled in the back of his throat 

Speaking of love languages,there’s another called “Physical Touch” which has the words Jimin Park written all over it. So with that being said you really should’ve already been prepared for whatever’s about to unfold.

It’s subconscious at this point, head dropping down to the crook of your neck, nosing up a vein like a neglected puppy! Squeezing your waist hard enough to damn near engrave his thumb print in against your hip bones! Well, clearly he doesn’t want you going anywhere anytime soon!   

So what do you do instead? Place the bag of food on the bar, hold the phone in one hand and bring the other up to play in his freshly dyed locks! I swear this man is a second away from purring so maybe he’s not a puppy after all. Suddenly his ring clanned fingers trickle down your spine heading south, flexing his palm to squeeze down around the swell of your ass! Shifting you forward so your chest to chest...

So, here you are trying to cater to both of your boys at once...lord help you!

“No, of course I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just busy-yes Tae. You wanna put what in a what,Now?”

~~~~~

Hiii, as I mentioned above this was kinda last minute, I wrote out prompts on the 21st, then adult life kicked in. I actually had my own little office Christmas party to plan (Nothing on this scale obviously because well, we know the way the real world is rn) However because of that I couldn’t truly work on this until the 24th. However it’s been a long time since I wrote/wanted to write so I opted to just post it anyway! Hopefully the full thing will be up by the 28th at the latest.

I have also attached the overall masterlist for this AU!

7 DEEP 

[kamosweasley]

Won’t you pull me through ? (Fred and George Weasley)

Description : Amber meet her friend Emily to take a tea and they talk about the war and the twins. It’s inspired by the song Trouble by Cage The Elephant.

Word count : 2.2K

Warning : angst, mention of death, torture, scars, death and mental illness.

Lyrics from Trouble by Cage The Elephant are in italics.

Tag list : @memekingofwwiii�� 

After knocking at the door, Emily entered with her brighter smile. It's been a while since she's had the opportunity to see her friend, the last few months have been a mess in the wizarding world with the death of Voldemort and the end of the war. She's doing her best but she's still overwhelmed, although the smile of Amber makes it all go away within a second. 

-Hey love. 

-Emily ! It's been a long time since the last time I saw you around ! How are you ?

-Pretty good, things are exhausting lately but we have to deal with it. We're in the middle of reconstruction, it's normal that things are moving fast. 

-This is a good thing, this terrible year is finally behind us. Do you know how well the reconstruction is progressing at Hogwarts? 

-McGonagall supervises, so it's efficient and almost done. She must be a great principal, she is what the students need after the trauma of war.

-I don't even want to imagine the condition that some people must be in, a whole year being tortured by sadistic deatheaters when they were only children …

The two friends sat down at a table to drink the tea Amber had prepared in advance. There is a silence following Amber's sentence, Emily looking at her with a hint of concern. Rare are the people who have not suffered from war and who do not continue to suffer from it today. Some have experienced more painful things than others, such as Amber who was imprisoned and tortured during the war at the Malfoy mansion. It was in the last month before the Battle of Hogwarts, she was able to escape thanks to Dobby, with Luna and Ollivander. Emily hadn't been able to see her before the Battle of Hogwarts a month later, she didn't seem to have experienced all the horrors she told her afterwards. On the battlefield she looked like a warrior determined to win, even at the risk of her life. She was unstoppable, and she survived. They both survived, not everyone was so lucky.

-Now all these assholes are either in jail or dead. My only regret is not being able to get revenge on Bellatrix before Molly killed her. That bitch left awful scars on me, and since they were made with black magic it can't be removed.

-You talk about it like it's nothing, so you feel better ?

-It was hard at first, the first few weeks after the battle I felt like I didn't recognize myself. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a stranger. But it's been getting better for a while, I feel good.

-I’m glad to hear it. You know that everyone is worried about you, you haven't had an easy time of it.

-There are some who have been through worse, I keep breathing and I have resumed a normal life. I think I’m doing well. Doesn't it look like it ? 

-You seem peaceful … After what happened 

-Can we talk about something else ? This war has already hurt us enough, don’t you think so ?

-Obviously.

A little annoyed, Amber finished her cup of tea, her hands slightly shaking. Nothing impressive, but Emily notices it, which awakens the worry inside her. She doesn't know what to do, maybe she should apologize for bringing it up. Obviously the blonde didn't want to talk too long about it. With a fleeting look in her eyes, Amber tucks a strand of her long hair behind her ear. The room suddenly seems to her empty and hostile, she loves Emily but talking about the war remains something that makes her uncomfortable. She much prefers to talk about the future and all the joyful things that await them. This is what helps her get better, telling herself tomorrow will be better and she always has the people she loves with her. She will be able to live that future with them. A smile appears on her face, speaking of joy she immediately thinks of them. Her two rays of sunshine.

-I have received the new catalog from George and Fred's store. Have you seen it ? It's still so colorful, it's good to see all these colors in this sad world. Wait, I'll show it to you, I think I put it over there.

The blonde leaves the table to rummage through the drawers of her dresser as Emily looks at her. We had talked to her about it but she wasn't expecting it, how is it possible ? 

-Oh Amber …

-What ? You already saw it ? You can tell me, I'm just trying to talk about my best friends. Maybe you went to the store not long ago, it's still fantastic isn’t it ? This place exudes a good mood, if I could I would spend all of my days there. 

-Did you go back ?

-Of course ! George and Fred wouldn't talk to me anymore if I wasn't their best customer. I love them so much, I'm glad the war doesn't change them. They are still funny and malicious, they always have been. You know, I think people don't realize how wonderful they are.

-I have never laughed so much as with them, they have always been very funny.

-You see ? That's what I said. I grew up with them, we did so many silly things together but we had so much fun ! 

-I know, you had few problems because of them. They always took you in their pranks, you were driving the professors crazy. They found you calm and studious, they didn't understand why you were doing this. 

-Do you know this song ? It says “trouble on my left, trouble on my right, I’ve been facing trouble almost all my life.” That’s on growing with George and Fred. You learn to like problems and to be clever enough to make it good. 

-I can imagine. Which song is it ?

-Trouble by Cage The Elephant. You should listen to it one day, it’s really great. It reminds me of my friendship with George and Fred. 

-Because they always put you in trouble ?

-Not only that, and to be honest I’ve always loved it. These are the best moments of my life, the three of us always had fun as kids. It's not really the same anymore … 

The silence remains, for a moment you can see a shadow on Amber's face, revealing suffering. The mask falls, she has not moved on as she claims, she is still haunted by what happened. We can not say that she is an exceptional case, it was war, but Amber is a special case. 

-I miss them, they don’t come often but they’re busy with their shop. Business is running for them, they deserve it. They work so hard for their shop.

-Amber, you know very well that their store has not reopened.

-What the hell are you talking about ? Of course it reopened ! I went there, I helped them put everything back in place. 

-It's not possible Amber. The store is still closed, and there is no new catalog.

-But I was there! I know it better than you do, I didn't imagine it ! Were you there to help them with the store ? I don't remember seeing you there, so how can you say it's impossible ? You didn't go back to Diagon Alley ? How can you say the store is closed ? It is not closed !

-Amber …

-IT’S NOT CLOSED ! Damn it, where is this damn catalog !

Now she’s crying, all her body is shaking. Her hands are clenched to the chest of drawers, the white knuckles, she’s so tense. It seems as if the slightest word or gesture could make her explode. Unsure of what to do, Emily gets up and starts walking towards her friend. She wants to comfort her, to tell her that everything will be okay, but that would be lying. It’s been a while now and it's not going to get any better visibly. Yet seeing her like this tears her heart out, she wishes there was something she could do to make her feel better. 

-I’m sorry Amber.

-Don’t … Don’t say this, you have nothing to be sorry about.

-We both know isn’t true.

-Why did you come ? I thought you wanted to talk like in the good old days, not that you wanted to bring up all the pain. The war has taken something from all of us, it's time to stop it and take it back.

-Unfortunately it doesn't work like that, we can't take back what it took from us. The dead cannot be brought back to life.

-No one should have died.

They can only agree on this point, this war should not have taken place and it should not have taken so many lives. Emily is standing in the middle of the room, Amber still in front of the dresser but she is almost shaking. The tears are already drying on her cheeks but she doesn't seem to care, she keeps scratching the inside of her right hand with her index. Worries fill Emily's thoughts, she feels like she's screwed up all over the place. She was hoping that she could make things better, make Amber feel better, but she's not worried that she's robbed her even more.

-Please leave, I need some quiet.

The blonde takes a cassette from one of the drawers of the chest of drawers, with red eyes she inserts it into a cassette player. The music begins as she leaves the room with a heavy heart. How did her friend get there ? After closing the door, Emily lets out a sigh. Things are worse than she expected, Amber is still in denial. The real version of the story is much sadder than Amber's version. She really escaped the Malfoy mansion in April after being tortured, she wasn’t that good but it’s the Battle of Hogwarts who makes her fall. She was on a fine line, fighting for her survival and to save her loved ones. She was fighting against her own sanity during the battle, every second, every move, every thought was a step forward. She was winning, seeing a glimmer of hope when Voldemort died. Her first reaction was to laugh at having a hard time breathing, it was over, they had won, she had won. So she ran through the castle to find her two best friends, she had seen them during the battle but was unable to join them at that time. They were finally going to be reunited, to be again the trio they always have been. No matter what they had gone through, they had survived and they will be able to rebuild themself together. 

Nobody can imagine the pain that hit her when she saw the two dead bodies on the ground. It was like the blast of an explosion, in less than a second her world collapsed. They were all she had, she has been an orphan for years, an only child, Fred and George were all that mattered to her. Thus broke the spirit of the young woman

-She hasn't progressed since May …

-It can take a long time before she may feel ready to accept the truth. She knows it but she needs to do it all again. 

-But how much longer ? She's not going to stay locked up here all her life !

-When she accepts reality and gets over it, she can return to live with her family.

-She has no family left, her parents died years ago and she had no one else. And the twins died too ... I'm afraid she has no family left.

The lyrics of the song can be heard through the door, from what she hears, Emily understands how this music speaks so much to Amber. “My sweet love, won’t you pull me through ? Everywhere I look I catch a glimpse of you.” It must be horrible to lose your two best friends, even more when you think of them as your brothers, your last family. She really lost everything that day, even her sanity.

~~~~

“God don’t let me lose my mind.” She sings with this whole heart, eyes closed and serenity filling the room. She knows the lyrics by heart, it became her favorite song because it reminds her of them. When she opens her eyes she faces the twins, sitting at the table. They exchange a mischievous look before looking at her, it's like when they were young. A blink of an eye and they are three children facing each other, mischievous and innocent. Then teenagers, running through Hogwarts to escape Filch, out of breath but having fun. It's only onto the common room they can relax, out of danger. Fred told Amber that it's her turn to do it, so she takes his wand and puts it on the map. Surrounded by his two best friends, Amber open her eyes and as a tear falls, she whispers :

-Mischief managed.

[paradisobound]

World’s Greatest First Love: The Case of Daniel Howell- Chapter 1

Summary: Dan Howell wanted a clean break from his father’s publishing company. It was why he applied for a different company in London: to stop the ridicule of his coworkers for riding on his ‘daddy’s coat tails’. But he wasn’t expecting to suddenly be going from a literature editor, to a graphic novel editor. And he certainly wasn't expecting to come face first with his first love who broke his heart from when he was a teenager: who just happens to be his new editor-in-chief. 

Based on the Anime and Manga “The World’s Greatest First Love: The Case of Ritsu Onodera” aka Sekai-Ichi Hatsukoi 

Rating: Mature (For Now) 

Word Count: 3.7k (this chapter) 

Warnings: None for this chapter 

Updates Every Saturday at 1pm EST 

Read on Ao3 | Read on Wattpad 

A/n: Hi everyone! Welcome to my new chaptered fic which is based on my favorite anime! I got into this anime back in December and it took over my life and I really wanted to share the love for it by creating a Dan and Phil version for it in fic form! I changed it up to make it make sense with Dan and Phil and I hope it works! You don’t need to watch or be familiar with the anime to understand the fic because I’ve provided enough context inside of the fic for that. But if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask me and I’ll provide details! Anyway, thanks for reading! 

“Welcome to Onyx Publishing Company!”

Dan looked up from his feet long enough to see the perky brunette greening him in the doorway of the building. Her hair is pushed behind her ears that are glittering with pearls and diamonds. Dan found it hard to look around long enough to hear what she was saying.

“We always get very excited when we hear that we have a new editor joining our team!” She continued on. “We are always looking for more help so this will benefit us greatly.”

Dan just nodded his head in an unspoken gesture as she motioned him to follow her to a short corridor with a set of elevators waiting in the wings. “Our office, specifically the Sapphire branch, is located on the 3rd floor.”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware we were put into branches?” Dan says, flickering his eyes between the wall and the elevator door in front of him where he could see the numbers ticking down on.

“The companies owner wanted each division to be its own branch so because we’re in the graphic novel branch of editing, we are known as Sapphires.”

Graphic novel branch? That wasn’t what he was coming to this company for!

“I’m…”

“My name is Vicki,” She says, extending her hand out after the elevator door closes in front of them and she presses the 3 button. “I don’t do any of the editing but I’m the assistant to the editors so if anyone needs any last minute help, that’s me.”

“You said sapphire branch was graphic novels,” Dan says finally just as the elevator begins to rise, “but I was told I was going to be a literature editor.”

Vicki turned slightly and a smile danced on her lips for a moment, “Oh, you must be mistaken,” She says and Dan feels the color drain from his skin, “No one is ever hired at our company into the literature department. You have to make your way up the ladder for that.”

Dan feels like arguing, feels like pulling the plug on this new job. He didn’t want to be an editor for graphic novels. He wanted to be a literature editor, and he thought that was what he had come here to do. He thought that he was hired here to do that but…

The doors to the elevators open and Dan’s mouth drops open at the sight in front of him. There are people running around everything, while others are passed out on their desks, mugs of coffee split across the papers. People literally lay on the floor, papers strewn all around them.

Dan’s never seen something so chaotic before in his life.

“Oh my!” Vicky squeals, stopping in her tracks as Dan runs into the back of her and they stumble forward a few steps.

“What is going on here?” Dan asks, a bit out of breath and bit flabbergasted at everything he sees in front of him. He wasn’t sure where to even begin.

“Oh, they must be in the final processes for their manuscripts before it goes into printing,” She says with a cocked head. “Although I’ve never seen it this bad.”

She hurried him away from the elevator and past the employees to a desk sitting in the back of the room, occupied by stacks and stacks of books and various other papers. “Mr. Lester?” She asks, a head of dark hair rises up, glasses slightly askew and creases indented in his cheek from laying on the desk. “This is your new employee, Daniel.”

Mr. Lester sat up straighter and adjusted his glasses back on his nose and smoothed out the skin of his face as he forced out a smile and shoved a hand out. “Nice to meet you,” He says. “Showed up at a bad time though. We’re finishing up this latest print and are at the end of this cycle. We need to get the finished product to the printer by 5.”

“The printer?” Dan asks and Mr. Lester waves his hand.

“You’ll learn all about the printer later on.”

Dan’s lips curl up a bit. He’s not even sure what’s going on anymore. Everything seems like a mess and he’s starting to very much regret coming to work at this new company.

“Are you able to show him around?” Vicky asks. “I have to go back downstairs.”

Mr. Lester’s eyes close momentarily as he lets out a sigh and Dan stands back. He didn’t want to upset someone on his first day.

“Okay, fine,” Mr. Lester finally says as he stands up from his desk. The books shift around just enough for Dan to see that the name tag on his desk says ‘Philip M. Lester: Editor in Chief’ and he nearly has a heart attack.

This was his editor in chief and he was already being a burden? Even when he didn’t meant to be one? He felt like he could pass out.

Mr. Lester walked around the other side of the desk and looked at Dan, “So, this is the Sapphire branch,” He says, gesturing to all of the desks and cubicles around them. “We mainly edit graphic novels but we also work with authors and the printers to make sure everything is going smoothly. We do this in what we call cycles.”

Dan nods, “I worked a bit in editing at my previous job,” Dan says softly. “I worked in editing literature though.”

Mr. Lester turned his head to look at him and his brows furrowed. “So you know some of this then?”

Dan wants to nod because yeah, he does know it a bit. But the truth was that, he had other reasons why he knew editing but he wasn’t going to admit any of that at his new company. It was why he left his old one.

“A bit but we outsourced our printing so I have no idea what it’s like to have a printer right in the building.”

Mr. Lester motioned him to follow him so Dan did and they walked further into the office space. He pointed at a door on the left and said, “This is the break room although we typically don’t have time to use it.”

Dan swallowed.

Mr. Lester walked further down and they came to another set of elevators, “These are the staff only elevators. You would take them to go to the printer or to meetings. Meetings are always on the 4th floor, printing is on the 5th. If you need to go to another branch, you can read on the buttons which are which. We’re the Sapphire branch as I said but we have three other branches in here too.”

Dan was taking in all of the information, trying his best to keep everything straight as Phil explained each part of the office step by step.

Here is the printer. Here is the door to the hallway. Here is the window that everyone wants to jump out of. Dan’s head was spinning.

By the end of the short tour, Dan was rerouted back to an empty small desk where Mr. Lester pointed down and said, “This will be your workstation. I’ll be back in just a moment with your assignment.”

Dan set down his bag that he had forgotten he was still carrying with his laptop and other supplies and was just about to sit down when he suddenly had a thought. What was he supposed to be doing here?

“Mr. Lester…”

“I don’t go by that.”

Dan turned around and came face to face with Mr. Lester’s, “What?”

“I don’t go by ‘Mr. Lester’.” He said with a slight snarl to his tone. “I go by Phil.”

“Oh-okay,” Dan says, biting his lip. “Um…I was just wondering what my job here is going to be?”

Phil smiled at him turned on his heels, walking away. Dan was left standing there by his empty cubicle, unsure of what he was doing anymore. He watched as Phil walked to his desk and filed through some papers before he pulled out a large folder and came back to Dan.

He set the folder on the desk and motioned to it, “This is the new manuscript that came in three days ago that needs to be edited. Go through it, mark anything you think stands out. Your deadline is in two weeks with printing in four so make sure if anything is unclear, you contact the author.”

Dan’s mouth opened and closed, “Two weeks to edit? That’s all I have?”

Phil’s lips curled into a smile and he nodded, “Good luck, newbie.”

And he walked away.

***

“Hey, newbie. Come over here!”

Dan looks up from his desk, his eyes are going a bit cross eyed as he’s looking over page after page of the manuscript that Phil had given him. He still doesn’t know how he’s going to get any of this done but he’s trying his best.

Phil is sat at his desk, his feet resting on the edge as he balances himself in his chair, a stack of papers resting on his chest as he tips back a little bit further.

“Where did you work before you came here?” Phil tips forward and places the papers back onto his messy desk. “Didn’t you say you came from another publishing company? Well, obviously you did. I wasn’t available to do your interview but I did read a bit of your resume.”

Dan nods his head, “I came from Howell publishing.”

“Howell publishing?” Phil asks, shuffling through his papers just as his phone buzzes loudly on his desk. He stops the conversation in its track to pick it up and read the message he had just gotten.

“Yes,” Dan says, “as I’ve said, I was a literature editor.”

Phil turns his head, “What brought you to graphic novels then?”

“Well, you see…”

A voice over Dan’s shoulder interrupts them and they both turn towards the dark haired male standing behind them, “Phil, did you get the text? Marmon’s manuscripts just came over the fax and she’s here for the meeting with them.”

Phil nodded and took off his glasses to squeeze the bridge of his nose. He pushed them back on and let out a sigh as he pushed his chair back with a loud screech of the feet against the tile of the office floor and he smiled at Dan, “Let’s do a quiz then. Ever heard of sub mats?”

Dan furrowed his brows, “You mean the substitute pages you can add into a graphic novel with an author doesn’t have enough?”

Phil nods his head and starts walking towards the side of the office where the fax machine has a stack of paper waiting for Phil to grab.

“Aren’t sub mats kind of pointless?” Dan asks, following Phil around the office to the elevator as Phil clicks the ‘up’ button. “Because if you need more work from the author, can’t you just ask them to provide more work?”

Phil turned to him and shook his head, “Are you an idiot?” He asked, his voice laced with seriousness. “When you’re on a time constraint and your author isn’t giving you what you need, you need to be able to fill the dead space. Without sub mats, your work will never sell and you and your author are out of a job.”

The elevator dings and he and Phil both get on. Dan’s not even sure if he should be getting on the elevator too. Was he supposed to be following Phil? Does it look bad if he’s following Phil to a meeting with his author?

Shit, was he already fucking this up?

They only go up one floor and they’re stepping off in an empty meeting area with a poised brunette sitting at an empty table, her hair pulled into a messy bun and her clothing a bit wrinkled. Dan knows the stress of editing so he doesn’t question it.

Phil walks over to the table and shakes her hand and she shakes it back and Dan sits down beside them both as Phil shuffles through the manuscript and looks at each page. “Do you happen to have your tools with you?” Phil asks.

The girl nods her head and reaches down in her bag to pull out a pencil and an eraser.

“This part isn’t realistic,” Phil says, pointing to a drawing of a man standing with a female counterpart. Dan peaks over the paper and sees that it looks like the man and woman are about to kiss but something does seem off about the proportions, “People don’t kiss like that.”

The girl’s eyes go wide and she immediately scratches out the drawing and begins to draw a new version of that scene on the back of the manuscript page. She works furiously, redrawing the characters but Phil immediately stops her, “No...that’s not...have you even been kissed before?”

The girl looks up and her eyes are still doe-like and Dan feels kind of bad because isn’t that a personal question? He guesses that it’s a valid one given the nature of that comic but he still feels a bit bad for her.

“Well, with all due respect, Mr. Lester, but you normally have your eyes closed while you kiss so I’m not aware that I would have adequate knowledge of what I look like when I do kiss someone.”

Her answer is sure and strong and Dan gives her props because he knows if someone asked him that, he would want to melt into the floor and never reform.

Phil doesn’t seem pleased with her answer though because he suddenly runs his hand through his hair and then stands up, “You need to see a sample.”

Dan adamantly agrees, because yes, showing her a sample photo is probably a really good idea. And he may not know hardly anything about editing graphic novels but he can agree that seems like a smart move.

Except, Phil is suddenly grabbing his arm and yanking him up and he’s tilting his head to the side. Dan’s heart speeds up in his chest and his hands lift up instinctively to push Phil away and just as Phil’s mouth is closing in on his and their noses are touching, Phil pulls back and turns his head to the young writer, “Did you get that? Draw exactly what you just saw, just change one of us to your female character.”

The girl furiously began to draw and sketch out what she had just seen and Dan was left standing there with a knot in his stomach and his jaw dropped to the floor because what the ever-loving fuck was that? Does this mean that the editing team is also the models for graphic novel comics because he definitely didn’t sign up for that part. Not like he signed up for this at all...he still wants to be a literature editor.

The girl is still finishing up and Phil is still instructing her but Dan needs some air so he quickly leaves the room and hops on the elevator back to the office.

He makes his way into the breakroom and finds a coffee machine and he pours himself a cup. He pours a little bit of sugar into the cup and stirs it with a straw and takes a seat. His stomach is still in a knot and his mind is reeling.

He should really look into quitting this job. He feels like he’s not going to fit in here at all. This isn’t what he wants to do. He wanted to be a literature editor like he was at his other job…

His other job.

Dan didn’t want to leave his other job. He loved being there. Despite his connections to the company, he still did really well and loved what he did. He even got to work with a top author for a while and even though the meetings and the editing took a long time, he still loved every second of it. He just couldn’t take the constant ridicule.

Dan’s dad owned Howell Publishing. His last name was slathered all over the company so of course people knew who he was. But that made people dislike him more. He hated walking into the breakroom to get a snack from the vending machine and hear people talking about him.

I’ve been here for four years and I still get low selling authors. Dan has been here for one month and he’s beating us all.

It’s such bullshit. Dan should be getting the scraps and I should be getting his authors.

Dan shouldn’t be here.

Dan knew that their words shouldn’t get to him, but they did and it hurt. It cut deep into him because that profession was something he wanted nothing more to do but he felt like he couldn’t do it. And he one too many sobbing breakdowns in the office bathrooms to keep up the charade of being there and being happy. He wasn’t happy anymore if no one else was happy with his success.

So he left despite being the heir to the company and he decided to apply to other companies around London and somehow made his way here. But now this job is serving to be no better and he knows he should quit.

“Do you know anything about editing graphic novels?”

Dan picks up his head and sees Phil standing beside him.

“No, not really.”

“Do you have the motivation to do this?” Phil asks. “Because if you have no motivation to edit any of these novels, then there is no need for you to be here.”

The words feel like bullets against Dan’s skin. It’s one thing for him to be thinking about this in his own head but to hear someone else tell him to quit cuts deep into his core. He doesn’t like it.

“I want to try editing them,” Dan says. “I’ll do my best to make sure that I edit the ones I’m assigned to the best of my abilities.”

“But you still want to be a literature editor?” Phil asks. “You’re not being subtle about it.”

Dan shrugs, “I just like being a literature editor.”

Phil pulls the seat out next to Dan on the end of the table and turns it backwards so he can straddle it and rest his arms on the back, “How many people do you genuinely hear of doing the job that they love?” Phil asks, “Seriously, how many people do you hear say that they want to go to work because they’re doing a job they seriously love doing?”

Dan knows that Phil’s right but he still doesn’t like that.

“Do your research, and try your best. You can always ask for help if you need to,” Phil says standing up. “But here is a list of the graphic novels our team has published and I recommend you take a look at the few on this list.”

Phil pulls a folded up list from his pocket.

Dan nods at him and forces out a smile as Phil just nods back and gets up from the chair and walks out of the room.

When Dan finally feels better and like he can actually continue with his work, he leaves the breakroom and goes scrounging around the office for the copies of the books on the list Phil gave him. He finds a bunch of them and piles them on his desk, determined to read every one.

***

Dan walks into work the next day with sore eyes and a fatigued body. He read over 50 graphic novels the night before he left to go home and his eyes hurt and he feels exhausted. He also doesn’t feel like he wants to go into the mess of an office after seeing the state of it the day before.

He gets off from the elevator and rubs at his stomach that is already knotting at the thoughts of it.

He rounds the corner of the office and starts to speak up before he stops in his tracks and his jaw drops open. The office is completely spotless and the other editors are all sitting at their desks looking fine. No one looks like they’re passed out or about to and Dan is completely grateful for that.

The dark haired male turns his chair and faces Dan, “Good morning!”

Dan walks in slowly and sets down his stuff on his desk, “Morning?” Dan shakes his head, “Sorry but this office was a mess yesterday and now it looks spotless?”

The man laughs and smiles, “Oh that’s because we were all trying to get the manuscript in for a major graphic novel and we were running behind on sleep. I hadn’t slept for three days. But that’s all over with now so we have time to clean up.”

“How did you live?” Dan asks, his voice high-pitched with seriousness.

The man shrugged, “Technically didn’t. Probably did die a few times. But I couldn’t afford to die for real because I had to finish the manuscript.”

Dan looked at him incredulously, “You’re being serious?”

The man just laughs, “Did we properly meet at all yesterday?” He puts his hand out, “I’m Mitch.”

Dan shakes his hand, “I’m pretty sure we did but you were passed out, so you probably don’t remember. I’m Dan.”

“Did Phil tell you some of the stuff you should know?”

Dan nods his head but asks Mitch to tell him some tips anyway and as he sits at his desk with a smile on his face, he feels like maybe this won’t be so bad afterall.

[just-come-baek]

Wedding Fever 3

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Themes: smut (rly soon) | a shitload of fluff | a pinch of angst | wedding!au | friends to lovers!au | fake dating!au | SLOWBURN

Word count: 7.7k

Summary: Baekhyun is the best man, and I am the maid of honor at our friends’ wedding. Although should we be excited about our friends getting married, we seem to complain a lot more every time we meet for another preparation. Maybe it’s a bit fanciful of me to think that, but I hope, somewhere between choosing flowers and venting about the reception prep, he’ll like me just as I like him.

A/N I thought abut this story and there should be 2 more parts. Sorry for not updating this sooner

previous part | masterlist | next part

The weekend arrived way too soon for my liking; I hadn’t had enough time to brace myself for meeting Baekhyun’s parents; however, knowing me, regardless of how many days I’d have to repeat the pep talk I was giving myself at least twice every four hours, it wouldn’t suffice. I was a nervous wreck, and if I was going to stress for another day, I’d definitely go bald.

With accordance to a text Baekhyun had sent me, he was going to pick me up within thirty minutes, leaving me too little time to get dressed, do my makeup and pack my suitcase. And despite the stress he had put me in; I carefully chose an elegant outfit consisting of sky-blue button down, a pair of high-waisted white jeans and a pair of shiny oxfords. As for makeup, I opted for a gentle touch; light brushes of blush and soft colors of eyeshadow perfectly matched my matte red lipstick.

Knock! Knock!

Upon hearing someone knock, I turned my head toward the doors, quickly dashing to open them. It must’ve been Baekhyun on the other side, and since I hadn’t seen him in a while, I smiled at the silly thought. Maybe it was lame of me, but I actually missed him. And though I would love to meet with him under different circumstances, I was not to complain.

The moment I swung the doors open, I saw him in his perfect form. His hair was neatly combed, a matching sky blue shirt around his broad shoulders and chest, light brown trousers loosely hugging his legs. He almost looked like a casual version of me, and it took a lot of self-restraint not to throw myself in his arms and kiss his breath away.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Baekhyun asked as he glanced at me from head to toe.

“What’s wrong with my outfit?” I questioned, looking down at myself, not sure which part of it Baekhyun didn’t like. It seemed classy, so what was his problem?

“Nothing’s wrong about it, you look great.” Baekhyun started, still eyeing me up and down. “But we’re going to a casual barbeque party, and not a job interview. Haven’t you got anything less… official?”

“You really think so? I don’t want to disappoint your parents,” I genuinely said, as I wasn’t convinced about changing out of my attire. Maybe it was a bit solemn, but I was to make my first impression, and I wanted it to be prodigious.

“They’re gonna love you regardless of what you’re going to wear,” Baekhyun spoke confidently, not even doubting my ability to make his parents fond of me.

“How can you be so calm? I’ve been a bundle of nerves the entire week,” I admitted, and Baekhyun chuckled boyishly, effortlessly making my heart pound as if I had a mini-heart attack. “I can’t be the only one freaking out.”

“I just know there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Baekhyun stated casually, as I waited for elaboration. “Almost two years ago, my brother introduced his girlfriend, and it wasn’t a big deal, so why should our situation be any different?”

“Hmm… I don’t know… maybe because we’re faking it?” I concluded, having another mini-panic attack. “Your mother must be one of these women with a lie detector in her eyes, we’re gonna get caught. I know it,” and there it was, full mode of an anxiety attack.

“Relax,” Baekhyun calmly commanded, as he placed his hands on my shoulders, making me look into his eyes as if it was to soothe me. Quite contrary to his intentions, his deep tranquil gaze put me in the even more nervous state. “It’s going to be fine; it’s just a barbeque, not an interrogation. No one will find out.”

“Right,” I answered, though I wasn’t entirely convinced.

“Okay, so get changed, you don’t want to be late, do you?” Baekhyun challenged, and I shook my head. Arriving late wouldn’t be the best first impression, and I must’ve not let that happen. “Put something more casual.”

“Ugh, fine,” I replied, though much unwillingly. “Just wait here,” I said before I locked myself in my bedroom, throwing everything out of my closet, seeking anything remotely less formal. It wasn’t as easy as Baekhyun made it out to be, but when he saw me in the same shirt, a pair of shorts and trainers, he approved it despite it being only slightly different.

“Please tell me you packed only casual clothes,” Baekhyun spoke, as I rolled my tiny suitcase out of my bedroom.

“Only T-shirts and sweatpants,” I retorted, and Baekhyun nodded, happy that I wasn’t so stressed anymore.

“Okay, we should go now. Otherwise, we’re seriously going to be late.”

  ***

  “Who are you texting so passionately? You’ve been on your phone the entire ride,” Baekhyun asked, somewhat fed up with the lack of the conversation. The radio was on the whole time, and he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel in the rhythm, but it still didn’t make up for my uninterested hums whenever he asked me something. “Are you seeing anybody?” he added, and I perked up my head when I registered what he said.

“What?” I looked at him, perplexed. He thought I was dating? How ridiculous! At the moment, it wasn’t possible; I was still hooked up on him. “No, I’m not dating anyone.”

“Then who are you texting with that big smile?”

“Jiwoo,” I answered shortly, locking my phone, letting her spam my inbox. “We’re going shopping for her wedding dress on Tuesday, and right now, she’s looking them up online.”

“Oh… well… I thought we were sick and tired of the wedding. What has changed?” Baekhyun spoke, sounding very much disappointed and deceived. I mean… we had never been particularly ecstatic about the whole thing, but now my attitude did a 180. Admittedly, picking the wedding dress was the second best thing about being Jiwoo’s bridesmaid. (First thing was obviously getting to see Baekhyun.)

“Nothing has changed,” I quickly answered, not wanting him to think that I was pretending to be fed up with Jiwoo’s shenanigans regarding her wedding. Multiple times, she or Hongbin had made me regret agreeing to become the bridesmaid, but planning the purchase of her wedding dress – it was an entirely different thing. “TLC has brainwashed me, and I think I’ll enjoy helping her pick her dress even if she ignores my opinion. You can’t blame me for being a girl, girls love shopping for clothes.”

“If you put it that way…” Baekhyun nodded his head, now understanding my point of view. “Then I can only hope you two have fun.”

“Thanks,” I replied casually, quickly unlocking my phone, eager to check out more screenshots Jiwoo had sent me. Just like I expected, during my short conversation with Baekhyun, Jiwoo had managed to forward over twenty pictures of gorgeous gowns.

“Have you ever thought about what you’re going to tell your mother about me? You know… how we met, when we started dating, and other stuff like that?” I asked, though my eyes were trained on the screen, zooming in and out the pictures, studying the tiniest details.

“Not really,” Baekhyun answered, and I hummed, trying not to show any disappointment; I had been stressing out for the entirety of the week, whereas he hadn’t given any fucks about it. “I mean… I thought about it, but I haven’t come with anything substantial. Have you?”

“Actually, I assumed you would have everything figured out by the time you come to pick me up,” I confessed, though not confidently. “But I guess we can act normal as much as it’s possible, and when somebody asks a question about our ‘relationship’ one of us has to make something up, and the latter must play along. What do you think?”

 “Yeah, let’s do that,” Baekhyun agreed, and I smiled, contended that he liked my idea. “What about skinship? My mother is a devil, and she pays a lot of attention to it. She’s going to sense that something’s off if we leave space for Jesus between us.”

“Seriously?” I asked, quite surprised that Baekhyun’s mother didn’t mind her son being all touchy-feely with his girlfriend right in front of her. Better yet, she preferred seeing her son passionate and demonstrative. “It’s okay,” I spoke, and Baekhyun tore his gaze away from the road to look at me, astounded. “What? It’s not that we’re going to fuck on the dinner table halfway through the meal, so it should be okay.”

“Really? I didn’t expect you to be so cool about it.” Baekhyun replied, but when he realized my exasperated glare, he wished he had bitten his tongue. For him, I must’ve looked angry, but in reality, I was just mildly insulted with no intentions of correcting him. I needed him to elaborate on why he thought I wouldn’t be cool about him touching me.

“And why is that?” I teased, trying my best to sound serious.

“It’s nothing,” Baekhyun said, attempting to dismiss the topic.

“Please, do tell,” I urged him, expecting to hear something I already know. “I’m really curious; why do you think I wouldn’t be cool about it?”

“You won’t let it go, will you?” Baekhyun asked, and I firmly nodded my head. I was stubborn just like Baekhyun, and I wouldn’t stop pestering him until he told me what he meant. “I mean… not in a bad sense… but I have never seen you affectionate with a man… well… at least not in front of me… so I just assumed you must be very private and… well… not so fond of public display of affection.”

“Hmm… so in your opinion, I’m a prude,” I concluded, and Baekhyun chuckled nervously, definitely not enjoying our conversation. “Wow, a prude! Thank you so much.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad sense,” Baekhyun defended himself, and I remained silent, curious what else he could say to make the situation even worse. “And I’ve never called you a prude, all I said was that whenever you date you probably don’t make out in front of everyone, making all single people feel even more miserable.”

“Well… you’re right, I don’t do that,” I agreed, remembering how many times Jiwoo and Hongbin had made out in front of us. (Way too many to keep track of it.) “I’m not a prude, though.”

“That’s good, prude people are boring.”

  ***

  “Are you ready?” Baekhyun asked when he pulled over in front of his parents’ house.

Waiting for my response, Baekhyun turned off the engine and looked at me.

“Turn the car around,” I spoke, certain that I wasn’t ready to face his parents. Not now, pretending his girlfriend, probably still not ready even if we were dating for real. “I’m calling it off, I can’t do it,” I blabbered, knowing another mini-anxiety attack was to kick in.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Baekhyun whispered, as he held my hand, thinking it would calm me down. “Relax, we’ve come so far, we can’t bail now,” he spoke, but I shook my head, denying his every word. It wasn’t right for his family. It wasn’t right for me, either. I had agreed to it impulsively because of my attraction, and now, I was about to make a fool out of myself. I should have known better not to act on my feelings. “Besides, the hardest part is already passed us,” he added, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t do it.

“Baekhyun, I can’t,” I spoke, my voice weak. “They don’t deserve being lied to. We’re going to get caught, and when that happens, they’re going to hate me.” I blathered, starting to suffocate in the car. Although I rarely get stressed, Baekhyun’s precarious request was to make me faint out of fuss. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Calm down,” Baekhyun cooed, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Everything’s alright, we can do this,” he added, and I looked at him, seeking serenity and assurance in his eyes. Regardless of how many doubts I had, Baekhyun seemed confident that we could get through this. “Just trust me; I wouldn’t bring you here if I didn’t think we could make it.”

“I trust you,” I replied, and when I was to grace him with a reassuring smile, I jumped in my seat when someone knocked on the car’s window. Perplexed, I turned to see a cute elderly couple smiling at Baekhyun.

“Don’t worry about anything. See? They already love you,” Baekhyun mentioned, and I smiled at him nervously knowing it’s too late to butt out. “Come on, it’s show time.”

Baekhyun got out of the car, and I hesitantly followed suit.

“What took you so long? Everybody’s starving, but your dad didn’t want to start without you,” Baekhyun’s mother said as she embraced her son tightly as if he just returned from war.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Baekhyun nonchalantly spoke, smiling at me. “We came earlier than you told us to,” he candidly said as he stretched his arm to lace our fingers, wanting to introduce me.

“Is she your girlfriend?” Baekhyun’s dad asked, genuinely happy that his son was finally seeing someone. Proudly, Baekhyun nodded his head, and then his dad smiled at me, shaking hands with me.

“At last you brought someone!” His mother cheered, as she pushed Baekhyun aside to give me a robust hug, almost crushing my bones. “Your father and I thought you would never introduce any girl to us, but thankfully we were wrong.”

“Gee, thanks,” Baekhyun chimed in, staring at his mother clung onto my tensed body. “You also thought I’d drop from college, and then what happened?” Baekhyun sarcastically asked as he tried to disguise his discomfort and offense.

“We were proud of you then, and we’re proud of you now,” Baekhyun’s father defended them, as he looked at him and then at me, probably thinking how great of a couple we made. Too bad it was only a charade because no matter how compatible we seemed to other people, Baekhyun would never think about actually asking me out.

“How come I don’t believe you?” Baekhyun teasingly questioned, as he sneaked his arm behind my back, resting his hand on my hip. He had warned me about skinship, and when he showcased it in front of his parents, my cheeks flushed. In their opinion, he was being adorable and possessive, but I knew his affection was artificial and meaningless.

“Because you’re an ungrateful son,” Baekhyun’s mother jested, and I giggled at their interaction. I wished I had this kind of connection with my parents. “But we love you regardless, so why don’t we just go to the garden. Your brother is already preparing the grill, so we should supervise him before he and his girlfriend eat the whole food.”

“What do you say? Should we join them or just unpack first?” Baekhyun turned to me, looking down at me fondly. The way his eyes drill holes in mine could only one thing – he wanted me to stall the barbeque as if striving to discuss something.

“Let’s eat! I’m starving,” I replied enthusiastically, going against Baekhyun’s wishes. There was no point in discussing anything, but I was making my first impression, and I didn’t want them to think I was so shy I’d hide behind Baekhyun the entire gathering.

Displeased, Baekhyun squeezed my hand tighter, gritting through his teeth. “Sure, let’s eat first, your stomach was growling the entire ride,” he joked, and I jabbed him lightly, making their parents giggle at our playful contact.

When they led us further inside, I met the rest of Baekhyun’s family which included his brother with his girlfriend, two aunts with their husbands on Baekhyun’s father’s side and one uncle on his mother’s side.

At first, I was a bit intimidated and overwhelmed by their questioning but having drunk a bottle of chilled beer helped me keep my stress level in check. I was the newest member of their family, so their curiosity was understandable. Thankfully, just when the food was being served, Baekhyun’s brother announced that he and his girlfriend moved in together, and that revelation ultimately outshined my relationship with Baekhyun.

During the barbeque, Baekhyun was an absolute sweetheart; he cut the meat for me, he went inside for another beer when I finished one, he even wiped my elbow when I accidentally dirtied it with some ketchup. He was caring and thoughtful; his current behavior was even better than in my wildest daydreams.

“So… when have you started dating?” Baekhyun’s brother, Baekbeom, asked, fed up with the interrogation. Yes, he and his girlfriend of two years decided to live together, but on the other hand, his baby brother brought a girlfriend for the very first time.

Unsure, I looked at up Baekhyun, urging him to answer the question. We were in this together, but we were here because of him, so it only made sense for him to start replying. He would break the ice, and I’d follow suit, making our love story more natural.

“Not that long time ago,” Baekhyun started, as he put his bottle of beer on the wooden table. “As you might’ve heard, I’m Hongbin’s best man, and she’s Jiwoo’s maid of honor. And sometime between looking up perfect wedding locations and picking wedding invites I realized how difficult it’s going to be her friend, so I asked her out.” Baekhyun lied so confidently, I’d believe him if I didn’t know the truth. It was a cute story, and I wished it was true, although I knew it would never happen.

“Did she agree?” Baekbeom’s girlfriend, Mihyun, asked, engrossed by the story which was only a figment of Baekhyun’s imagination.

“Of course, she agreed!” Baekhyun spoke in a slightly louder voice as if he was offended by Mihyun’s inquiry. “Do you think we would be here together if she said no?”

“If he didn’t ask me out back then, I’d probably be the one to do it,” I interjected, making the whole table chuckle. Neither of it was true, so I assumed it wouldn’t hurt to boost his ego, especially when he was playfully bullied by his closest family members.

“Oh, I like that,” Baekhyun’s mother spoke, nodding her head, smiling at me. “Girls must be strong and independent these days. I like her, Baekhyun. You chose well.”

“Obviously,” Baekhyun agreed, leaning forward to peck my cheek. “I always choose what’s best,” he added, squeezing my hand. “So… is there any dessert? I’m craving your legendary cheesecake.” Baekhyun spoke excitedly, smoothly dodging an incoming series of questions.

“Of course,” Baekhyun’s dad hollered, as he rubbed his palms together, craving the mentioned cheesecake probably even more. “I’ll get it, honey,” he added, pecking his wife’s lips in the cutest of ways.

“Your parents are adorable,” I leaned and whispered into Baekhyun’s ear, and he giggled.

“What are you two lovebirds conspiring?” One of Baekhyun’s aunts asked, and Baekhyun sent her one of his brightest smiles.

“They probably can’t wait to be left alone,” Baekbeom commented, smirking at us. “They must still be in their honeymoon phase. Probably going at it like rabbits,” he added mischievously, getting jabbed by his girlfriend. “What? Am I wrong?” He inquired, and his mother shook her head disapprovingly, as she was more interested in the romantic part of our relationship. Frankly, I couldn’t blame her; I wouldn’t be keen on knowing all the details of my children’s sex life, either.

“Baekbeom, stop it,” Mrs. Byun scolded her elder son before she looked at Baekhyun. “Not in front of my cheesecake,” she jested when her husband walked out of the house with the dessert. “So… changing the subject, where did my son take you on a first date?”

“Hmm?” I hummed, buying myself some time, not wanting to blurt the first blatant lie which came to my stupid mind. “My first date with Baekhyun? Oh, he took me to the bowling alley. I had no idea what I was doing since it was my first time bowling, but he promised to teach me, and then he kicked my butt, although he said he wouldn’t.”

“I’m not even surprised,” Baekbeom spoke matter-of-factly, smirking playfully.

“That’s my son,” Mr. Byun interjected, earning a jab from his wife. “What? I didn’t say I approve of that. All I mean is that I’d do the same thing,” he added mischievously, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on Mrs. Byun temple. “You love me anyway.”

“How have I dealt with such a brat like you so many years?”

“Like I said. You. Love. Me.” Mr. Byun articulated every word carefully, so the message would get through her thick head. Apparently, Baekhyun had taken stubbornness after his mother, whereas the playfulness after his father.

“Not in front of my bacon,” Baekhyun shouted, as he put a slice of grilled bacon into his mouth, disgusted by his parents’ affection. For someone who enjoyed public display of endearment, she surely didn’t mind demonstrating it, either.

“Don’t give me that attitude,” Mrs. Byun scolded Baekhyun, as she reached for the knife to cut her bakery masterpiece. “Would you like the first piece?” She asked me with a large piece of cake on a paper plate, and although I was already full, I couldn’t say no.

“Speaking of bacon,” started Baekbeom, “it was Baekhyun’s nickname in primary school. He was a bit chubby, and other kids kept calling him that. Has Baekhyun ever mentioned that?” Baekbeom asked, and I chuckled, wondering how cute he must’ve looked when he was a child. I probably wouldn’t be able to handle his cuteness.

“And who started calling me that?” Baekhyun looked at his older brother deadly as if he was ready to attack if he embarrassed him any further. “You; it was your fault I was bullied.”

“I don’t think he has,” I muttered, smiling warmly at Baekhyun. Of course, I didn’t know anything about his school years. We barely talked about current affairs, let alone our past experiences. Once or twice we had held a serious conversation, but it had never been of sorts. “But I bet he was the cutest boy in his class.”

“Oh, you’re right, honey,” Mrs. Byun agreed with me, promising to show me all of the family photos, and though I hated going through my old pictures, I’d gladly sneak a peek at Baekhyun’s. I believed that Mr. Byun had taken a few cringy ones for moments like this one.

“Don’t even think about it,” Baekhyun warned me, raising his finger as if I were a child. “No one’s seeing these pictures, especially not you,” he added, and I pouted, disappointed that I meant so little to him that he didn’t want to share the tiniest bit of his childhood memories with me. It felt like a punch in the face, and it hurt.

“How are Hongbin and Jiwoo doing?” Baekhyun’s father asked, trying to change the subject as he noticed my disappointment. My acting wasn’t as convincing as I thought it was, I concluded. Mr. Byun could see through my façade too quickly; I had to be more aware of my reactions.  I couldn’t let him fathom what was going on between his son and me.

“Fine, then forget that you’ll ever see mine,” I whined, trying my best to disguise my failure with playfulness before anyone else could grasp the situation.

Baekhyun, amused by my retort, only stuck out his tongue, and I elbowed him slightly.

“They’re busy with preparations. We barely managed to escape from their crazy demands,” Baekhyun explained truthfully, glad that we dismissed the ticklish topic. “We have our hands full with all the nuisance, but Hongbin and Jiwoo have at least twice as much work to do.”

“But Hongbin’s like our third son.” Mrs. Byun announced, feeling slightly sad because of his absence. “Besides, we haven’t even seen his fiancée. How could he not introduce her to us?” She wondered, as she cut the rest of the cheesecake, and distributed it among the other guests.

“I let him know that you miss him. He’ll be ecstatic to come here,” Baekhyun snickered, and his mother glared at him, not pleased with his tone. “He’ll pop up here in a heartbeat.”

“Or we can always visit you sometime, hoping Hongbin would be around. As you said, he’s super busy. It would be too much of a hassle for him to drive all the way here,” Mr. Byun reasoned, and everyone except for Baekhyun and me loved the idea. If his parents paid Baekhyun a visit, we would have to continue the charade. Maybe Baekhyun played his role perfectly, but with each minute into the act, I knew I’d fall for him more, and when the time of break-up would come, my heart was to wilt.

“Of course, that would be lovely,” Baekhyun said, but I knew he didn’t mind his words; he was panicking just like me. It was supposed to be a one-time thing. Well… maybe we’d have to perform at Hongbin’s wedding, but then the newlyweds would have all the attention. “Just let me know, so I can prepare the bedding for you.”

OK, I didn’t sign up for this, but I agreed to help him out, and it was a low blow to back out now. I’ve already fed them with lies; I might’ve as well conducted it to an inevitable end.

Shorty after the forced invitation, everyone focused on Baekbeom and his work. Or more precisely, on the work trip to Thailand where he’s going next week.

“Can I have a bite?” Baekhyun asked, pointing his fork at my plate with half-eaten cheesecake. Mrs. Byun had made a delicious dessert, but I was already full of all the meat that Baekhyun had put on my plate, and I just couldn’t finish it.

“Sure,” I replied happily, pushing my plate closer to Baekhyun. Excitedly, Baekhyun licked his lips, as he stared at the cheesecake, digging his fork in it, taking the largest bite I have ever seen. “Seriously?” I asked, a bit too loud, obtaining a lot of unnecessary attention.

With his mouth full, Baekhyun tried to defend himself, but I had no idea what he was trying to say. But seriously; if he wanted to devour the rest of my dessert, he just had to ask. I’d give him anything he would ask me to.

“They’re adorable, aren’t they?” Mrs. Byun cooed when Baekhyun was stuffing his mouth with the remaining of my dessert, while I was trying to steal the plate back.

“Sharing is caring,” Baekhyun whined, still chewing. This guy was incredible – how the hell have I fallen for this one when so many other men were available? I just stared at him; he was chewing with his mouth open the food he shamelessly stole.

God, I really adore him.

“It gets a bit cold, don’t you think?” Mr. Byun asked his wife, who immediately understood what he meant by that.

“Why don’t you take your luggage to your room, and then show her around the neighborhood? The night is delightful; you two should take a stroll.” Mrs. Byun said, and though she tried to force another romantic gesture out of him, I was thankful for that because we could stop pretending for a while.

“Should we do that?” Baekhyun inquired, looking at me with his sparkly eyes. Did he really expect me to take down that offer? Quickly, I nodded, and Baekhyun rose from his seat, stretching his arm to take my hand and help me stand up.

Afraid that his mother could be spying on us, Baekhyun refused to let me carry my own baggage. I wasn’t going to oppose his offer, though. My suitcase was rather heavy, and if Baekhyun was willing to help, even though only to keep up the appearances, I was thankful.

After a lot of complaining and cursing, we reached Baekhyun’s room. It wasn’t anything special; a simple bed with a yoga mat placed next to it, a desk with old notebooks, a bookcase with dozens of comic books, and a wardrobe.

“Do you want a blanket or a hoodie?” Baekhyun asked as he placed our luggage beside the desk. “It may be a lot colder in an hour.”

“There’s no need; I’ve brought a sweater. Wait for a second,” I replied, as I opened my suitcase, and threw everything on the floor, seeking for that particular piece of clothing. “OK, I’m ready, we can go now.”

The moment we assumed we were a decent distance away from his family, we could finally relax. Taking deep breaths, we strolled down the pavement side by side. They couldn’t hear us conspire, and it was calming to talk to him without anyone just waiting for me to make a mistake and completely blow my cover.

“For one second I thought your father caught me,” I told, relieved that in the end, Mr. Byun didn’t confront us about our little act.

“My dad? No way! He’s like the most oblivious person I know,” Baekhyun retorted, and I bit my tongue before I told Baekhyun I couldn’t agree with him. If anything, he still had no idea about my feelings, so this title should belong to him.

“Yes way!” I shouted, laughing. “He gave me that you won’t fool me look.”

“Don’t worry about him. He’s harmless. But on the other hand, there’s my mother. I can bet that by the time we get back, she’ll have our wedding all planned out. Seriously, she’s annoying beyond human’s endurance.” Baekhyun warned me, and I laughed, hoping he was exaggerating. She couldn’t be that bad. Or could she? “She’s probably interrogating my brother, demanding grandkids.”

“She can’t be that bad,” I said, hoping I was right. I knew her for a couple of hours, and she seemed to be lovely. “Let’s not worry in advance, though. We did a pretty good job, didn’t we?” I sighed in relief, smiling because we survived the barbeque without getting caught red-handed. “So, why don’t you want me to see your baby photos?”

“Well… I didn’t think you’d be interested,” Baekhyun answered honestly, looking down at his shoes. “I was a chubby kid, and these photos are hideous. I’d burn them if I could; trust me,” he explained, and now, I seriously wanted to have a peek. It couldn’t be that bad.

“I highly doubt that,” I chimed in, wondering how Baekhyun looked when he was little. Even with some fat, he must’ve been the most adorable kid in the entire school. “Any other interesting secrets you have there?”

“I’m not giving secrets for free, you know…”

“Oh, ask away. I have nothing to hide,” I said confidently, but then that one college memory flashed in the back of my mind, and I felt sick. I hadn’t told it anyone; only Jiwoo knew about it, and I wondered if confiding to Baekhyun the truth would help me close that chapter once and for all.

“You look like you want to say something,” Baekhyun remarked, as he read my expression.

“I guess I do, but it’ll totally ruin the mood,” I tried to joke, but Baekhyun seemed oddly solemn and mature. It was out of his typical silly character, right now, he looked as if he was ready to hold me in his arms if I burst out in tears.

“I don’t mind; we’re friends and friends are out there for each other for the better or worse,” Baekhyun said, and I smiled warmly at the fact that he actually stated that I could rely on him. We barely hung out, yet he proved to be a better friend than I had expected him to be. “And if you need another incentive then fine, you’re allowed to look through my childhood photos,” Baekhyun added, and I barely managed to keep my cool.

Baekhyun was silly and playful, but when needed he was very supportive and considerate. And besides his marvelous inside, he was incredibly good-looking on the outside. He was a walking perfection, and I almost teared up when he held my hand reassuringly.

“My deepest secret? Let me think.” I sighed, trying to voice my thoughts coolly. It had been almost two years ago, and I didn’t want to seem pathetic and petty in front of him.

OK, men up for the fuck’s sake! You’re a grown-up woman! Say it quickly! Don’t run around the bush. Just tell him that at the drop of a hat! It’s no big deal. I preached to myself, looking at my shoes nervously. Finally, I gathered the courage to recount that nightmare.

“I’m all ears,” Baekhyun added, swinging our locked hands back and forth. The atmosphere was serene; the warm wind blew gently, his eyes were trained on the path ahead, my heart was pounding next to him.

“I’ve never told this anyone,” I started, looking everywhere but Baekhyun’s side. I wouldn’t finish my confession if he looked me in the eyes. “During my sophomore year, I was dating this guy named Jungkook. Things were going smoothly between us, and I was slowly falling in love with him. But apparently, I didn’t mean to him as much as he meant to me.” I said, and Baekhyun remained quiet, drawing circles with his thumb on my hand.

“One time, there was a party; he wanted to go, but I was snowed under my notes because I had an exam the next day. Jungkook went alone, and I stayed in my room studying. But shortly before midnight, I ditched because I knew I wasn’t going to learn anything. And when I finally found him, he was in a room nailing another chick.”

Jungkook was my first serious boyfriend, and it hurt like a bitch.

“And here comes the best. The cherry on the top of a fucking cake; this girl he cheated me on with was Jiwoo.” I confessed, and Baekhyun stopped dead in his track, yanking me gently, forcing me to look him in the eye. His grip tightened, but I didn’t dare to meet his gaze.

“Before Jiwoo met Hongbin, she was a completely different person. She was a seducer, living for attention. It was foolish of me to expect her not to chase after him.” I explained harshly. “But on the bright side, she helped me get rid of him before I seriously fell for him. He wasn’t worthy of me if he couldn’t resist her.”

“How can you still be friends with her after what she did to you?” Baekhyun asked as he couldn’t completely comprehend the situation.

“I gave her a second chance, and she promised to change. Shortly after that incident, she met Hongbin, and she truly changed.” I answered honestly, even if Baekhyun thought I was an idiot for not cutting her out of my life. I’d kept her around, but I didn’t forget what she had done. (And probably never will.) Jiwoo was to start anew with Hongbin and never fail my trust again. I believed in her.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, but it’s in the past. I’ve moved on,” I lied, hoping Baekhyun wouldn’t realize it. It happened years ago, but I was still petrified at the thought of introducing my new boyfriend to her, afraid of such history repeat itself. She was in a serious relationship with Hongbin, but it was stronger than me to picture her hands on my man. “Can we go back now? It gets cold, and I really want to go through your family photos.”

  ***

  With our hands still interlocked we reached the house; by the time we arrived, everything was cleaned, and all the guests moved the party inside.

Despite my sad confession, Baekhyun had changed the topic, and when we were standing on the porch, I was laughing so hard my stomach was beginning to hurt.

“Are you ready?” Baekhyun asked, being willing to give me a few more minutes before we would have to get back into the act. It was considerate of him, and I gladly agreed to hang out for a little longer. My chances of spending some quality time with him were limited, so I was determined to make the best of it.

“I may be seeing things, but I think I just saw your mother peeking through the curtains,” I leaned and whispered into Baekhyun’s ear. We were absent for quite a while, and she might’ve been worried or just curious about our interaction when we were alone.

“Really?” Baekhyun mused, giggling. “Do you think we should give her a show she wants so much?” he asked, and I cocked my eyebrow at him, wondering if he was thinking the same. Did he seriously want to make out in front of his mother? There was nothing I wanted more, but was it okay to use the situation like that? I wanted him to kiss me because he wanted to, not because he had to prove something.

“Let’s do this,” I encouraged him, sliding my hands into the back pockets of his trousers.

Gently, Baekhyun brushed some stray hair off my face. His eyes searched mine, and I’d melt unless his hands kept me in place. Licking his lips, he leaned forward, and our lips locked in a delicate kiss. After a few seconds, he started to move, and I mirrored his actions and pace.

His lips were soft, and his kisses were perfect. Maybe it was embarrassing, but I was already turned on, and ready to take the fun to another level or two.

“Wow,” I said in wonder when he pulled away to take a breath. His lips were addicting, and I had to have another taste, so I urgently pulled him against me. Due to my clumsiness, I stumbled backwards, Baekhyun’s chest pressed tightly against me, and now, I was squeezed between him and the porch’s railing with no chance of escaping.

He was so close to me, with his hands on my hips, kissing my breath away. I could stay in this moment forever; his mouth on mine, gently nipping my bottom lip, urging me to let him deepen the kiss.

“Baekhyun,” I murmured, and he took his chance and pushed his tongue into my mouth. He kissed me as if wanted to do that for an extremely long time, but I had to remind myself he was solely doing it to keep up the appearances. Baekhyun was trying to convince his family that he belonged with me, and if I didn’t know the context of our kiss, he’d have fooled me too.

When kissing Baekhyun, it was ridiculously easy to forget the surrounding and get lost in the romantic sensation. One of us moaned at some point, and though I wasn’t sure who, I had a feeling it was me since I was kissing him for real, pouring all of my emotion in it.

It was probably my first and last chance to do so, and I couldn’t waste such a lifetime opportunity. Some people wouldn’t be able to look at their soul mate, yet I got to kiss mine, and it was another reason to stop considering myself the unluckiest person on Earth. I got to experience it, and I was going to cherish every second of this memory.

“It was…” Baekhyun started, as he pulled away. His hands were still holding the back of my head, and he was staring into my eyes. It was too much for me; I had to look away in embarrassment. A little bit caught off guard, Baekhyun cleared his throat and said, “I think she bought it. She shouldn’t cause any more trouble.”

“Yeah, that’s good,” I said awkwardly, looking at him scratch the back of his head in chagrin. “I’d hate to get caught,” I added, smiling as the warmth gradually cool down. Baekhyun’s plain words were like a bucket of ice-cold water poured on my boiling heart; only the smoke of disappointment hung in the air.

“Let’s get inside,” Baekhyun mentioned, as he led me inside. It was a bit disheartening to watch him being so casual; as if we hadn’t just made out. He didn’t dwell on what kind of emotions he made me feel, and thinking about it pained me physically.

  ***

  When we got inside his parents’ house, everyone either returned home or was getting ready to sleep. Baekhyun and I weren’t that much different; we lied about being exhausted, and easily sneaked into his room.

Once sheltered behind the doors, I lay down on Baekhyun’s old bed, while Baekhyun looked for his pajamas, which consisted of an old T-shirt and sweatpants. Quietly, he left the room to change, and when he came back in his sleepwear, he was still ridiculously attractive.

Now, I was confident I had a problem, and this problem had a name, and he hung around quite often. With each passing minute, my infatuation grew stronger; by the day of Jiwoo’s wedding, my heart would burst out of the unrequited feelings.

When around him, for the first time in my life, I felt alive. And now, having tasted the heaven, I assumed it was about time to learn how to live without him. This short journey helped me realize how it would feel to be with him, and because he had no feelings for me, I should stop lying to myself and look for someone who could love me back.

At some point, I felt stronger and more mature.

“What are you thinking about?” Baekhyun asked, sitting beside me on his bed. “Your eyebrows crease as if you’re in pain,” he added, and I tried to relax. Baekhyun was beginning to suspect something, and I couldn’t let him find out, and expose myself to the mortification that would follow my shameful confession.

“I was thinking about how much work we still have regarding Jiwoo’s wedding,” I lied, and Baekhyun understood my evident displeasure. It was probably the last chance to relax before we would get snowed under another shitload of planning.

“Well… you’re right.” Baekhyun agreed with a deep sigh. “You can go change, the bathroom is the second door on the left,” he instructed, and I got off the bed to look for my pajamas in the pile of my stuff next to my empty suitcase.

“Ummm… Baekhyun? Do you think I could borrow one of your shirts? Because you rushed me back then, I forgot to pack my pajamas.”

“Are you seriously going to blame me for it?” Baekhyun asked, trying to refrain from laughing. “Wow,” he added, as he stood up and walked to his wardrobe. “Here.” Baekhyun handed me an oversized T-shirt and a pair of old sweatpants.

When I came back, changed and with brushed teeth, Baekhyun was one the yoga mat, trying to find a comfortable position in which he could survive the night. Watching him gingerly, I strutted to the bed and hid under the covers.

“This is absurd,” Baekhyun groaned, and I watched him wiggle from beneath the duvet. “I think I’ll take the couch in the living room.” He announced as he picked up the pillow.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said before he left the room. “Just sleep next to me. It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before.” I reasoned, and Baekhyun looked at me, thinking about his decision. True, we had slept together a few times before. Also true, the bed is smaller with each time. “Just come here already. Unless you want your mother to think that we’re fighting.”

“God no, just scoot over.”

  ***

  When I woke up, Baekhyun was gone. Nonetheless, I could feel his presence; his scent lingered in the air, his stuff was scattered all over the floor, and his phone buzzed every ten seconds when he got a text message.

It was 9 o’clock.

Not bothering to change into my clothes, I walked downstairs. Baekhyun’s father was in the living room watching the news, while Mrs. Byun was making a mess in the kitchen, preparing the breakfast.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She said when I entered the kitchen, “Baekhyun’s out for fresh rolls.” Mrs. Byun answered my question which I was about to ask. “How did you sleep tonight?” She looked at me as if she knew that I shared the bed with Baekhyun, but decided not to mention that fact.

“Like a log, actually,” I said, sighing, as I remembered how Baekhyun was hugging me when I woke up in the middle of the night. Our limbs were tangled, and he held me close. It was incredibly comfortable, and it broke my heart a little to know it would never happen again.

“Do you want some coffee?” Mrs. Byun asked as the kettle started to whistle. I nodded, and although I offered her my help, she firmly refused. According to her, I was a guest, and she couldn’t bother me with housework despite my need to impress her. “Baekhyun’s so happy with you.” She stated, catching me off guard with her statement. “Maybe, he doesn’t love you as much you love him yet, but give him some time, he’s getting there.”

“You really think so?” I asked, trying not to sound pathetically hopeful. She was his mother, but she was fooled by our acting. She didn’t know the truth, and she was misreading the situation. He only seemed infatuated because we made it look like it. And no matter how poignant it was of me, I still wished she was right.

“Of course!” Mrs. Byun said confidently, and I sent her a feeble smile. “I know my son, and I know when he’s happy. When he came downstairs earlier, he was radiating. What did you do at night? I didn’t hear a thing!”

“We didn’t do anything!” I protested, and she laughed loudly at my embarrassment and timidity. “Really!”

“If that’s true, then you must mean to him much more than I assumed.”

“Oh.”

[janeofcakes]

Chapter 112

**This chapter is pretty long, but it’s lovely. So very lovely.**

(A perfect autumn evening, just at sunset. The garden is full of turning leaves and vibrant flowers. Amber Chandler, licensed celebrant, stands under the trellis with a smile on her face, ready to preside over the ceremony. She has become very well acquainted with John and Sherlock over the last few weeks. She likes to know as much as she can about the people she marries and, as a result, asked them to meet with her six times at regular intervals leading up to the wedding. John had agreed straight away, no doubt expecting such a request. Sherlock had glowered immediately, eyeing her and then John in turn.)

S: Will this be considered premarital counseling?

AC: If you like.

S: (curling his lip in disapproval) I do not believe we are in need of such counseling.

J: (quietly) Sherlock.

AC: (unfazed) Then don’t think of it that way.

S: (cocking a brow) I fail to see its relevance.

AC: Fair enough. I’d really like to get to know you both a little before I bind you together.

(Sherlock looked at John triumphantly and John had face palmed. They had obviously discussed this at length prior to the meeting.)

S: So you can inform us we were not meant to be.

AC: No. (laughing) So I can tailor the ceremony to your specific relationship and personalities. (The suspicious detective narrowed his eyes and studied her intently. She just smirked, already liking this cantankerous character.) It’s not a trick, I promise. If I do say something that seems like counseling, it isn’t going to be anything you don’t already know and you don’t have to listen. You don’t have to care. Fair enough?

S: (still very skeptical) Acceptable.

AC: Great. When are you both free next? Couple days? Afternoon work? And don’t worry. (winking at Sherlock) The ropes don’t chafe.

(It all proceeded from there. Amber learned a great deal about both men in that first conversation and every meeting after also provided a wealth of information. She liked to think the two men learned more about one another too, but never expected it of any couple she married. She truly did not lie when she told Sherlock he didn’t have to care about a word she said.)

(Amber smiles to herself as she looks out at the small crowd of people seated before her. A diverse group to be sure. Friends from the surgery, a handful from John’s army days, and a few of the Yarders. Sally Donovan being one of the most animated, judging by the grin on her face. Sarah, her husband, and their daughter Madeleine are all seated close by, beaming from ear to ear. Billy Wiggins and a small troupe of Sherlock’s homeless network, who blend in quite well with everyone else, are at hand too.

Amber’s grin broadens as her eyes hover over the guests in the front rows. Each of them holds a special place in John and Sherlock’s hearts. They are the family on which these men depend, whether they admit it or not.)

(Bertrum Smythe, Sherlock’s tailor, a man who has known him since he first moved to London and has loved him like a son from the beginning.

Mrs. Martha Hudson, the matriarch, who essentially adopted Sherlock when he moved into 221B and who did the same with John when he joined the detective. She is secretly credited with bringing them together, leading them in the right direction with her hints and suggestions, both subtle and obvious.

Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock’s older brother and general pain in his ass. While Mycroft certainly takes pleasure in annoying the younger Holmes, he honestly does do it because he worries constantly. He has considered Sherlock his responsibility and not simply his brother since the day their parents died.

Molly Hooper, friend and colleague to both men, and Mycroft’s wife. How such a sweet woman came to know these men so well is still a mystery to Amber, despite the explanations she has received. Molly’s effect on each of them speaks volumes to her quiet strength.

A short laugh slips past Amber’s lips as her eyes rest on the best men. Standing before her, nervously smiling at one another, are Greg Lestrade and Mike Stamford. Each a long-time friend to one of the grooms and both overjoyed.

Mike stands to Amber’s left. Bursting with excited energy, he can’t stay still and shuffles his feet this way and that, a grin plastered across his face. Greg, on the other hand, stands stalk still to Amber’s right. His eyes are wide, but unseeing. His face is a paper-white mask of panic.)

AC: (whispering) Greg.

(He snaps immediately from his stupor, eyes focusing on her. She leans forward a skosh and motions him over with a quick snap of her chin. He takes a step closer and leans in, an uneasy look on his face.)

AC: What is it? You lose the ring?

G: What? No. (hand settling over his chest with a gentle pat, breast pocket lying beneath) I have it.

AC: Then relax. (She smiles sweetly.) This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.

(A quiet laugh pops from his lips. Her smile broadens and she taps his shoulder lightly.)

AC: There ya go. (pausing) Look, relax. You don’t even have to do anything.

G: Right. (exhaling slowly) Right.

(Greg steps back again and relaxes his shoulders. Amber huffs a short giggle as the music changes to signal that the ceremony will start soon. Greg’s body stiffens again, brown eyes darting to Amber. She just continues smiling and shakes her head, thoroughly amused.

Jane Eaglen’s “The Dreame” drifts across the garden, elegant stringed instruments augmenting her perfectly clear soprano.

Or scorne, or pity on me take,

I must the true relation make.

I am undone tonight;

Love in a subtle dreame disguised

Hath both my heart and me surprised.

(From her seat in the front row, Molly smiles brightly and looks around wistfully. Her acute examiner’s eyes take in every detail of the scene. The full blooms on the trellis in radiant fall colors, the crimson rose petals scattered throughout the grass, the wade pool with blood orange flowers floating delicately on its waters. Sighing happily, she turns her head toward her husband, intending to kiss his lips lightly, but her brows furrow ever so slightly and head tilts in question when she sees his thoughtful frown. Taking her hand in his, he puts voice to his concerns before she can.)

M: You regret not having this. That we were married in secret.

MH: (smiling at him, love and honesty in her eyes) I regret nothing about that day. Or about you, love.

(Mycroft’s worried expression gives way to pure adoration and he squeezes her hand. She tips forward to press her lips briefly against his smile and then leans close, their arms touching.)

AC: Will you all please rise?

(Everyone stands and turns to face the isle cutting through the center of the crowd. The music changes again to a recording of Sherlock playing an abbreviated version of a piece he composed for John. The perfect notes swell victoriously and drop down to near silence, telling the very soul of their story with its glory and tragedy.)

(After a full minute, the two grooms appear in the glass doors that lead into the house. The doors flutter open as if by magic and the men step out into the garden, arm in arm. They walk slowly down the short isle, beaming at each of their friends as they pass. Bertie sniffs quietly and brushes a wet eye when Sherlock’s gaze meets his. Mrs. Hudson has been misty since “The Dreame” began and she smiles softly as her boys walk by.

When they reach the front, John and Sherlock take their places in between the best men and unlatch their arms. Everyone has turned and all eyes face Amber. She smiles kindly and begins as the music fades away.)

AC: Please be seated. (The crowd complies. She looks at the four men standing before her.) Not you, I’m afraid. You all have to tough it out.

(Mike chuckles, Greg just tries to breathe, and Sherlock rolls his eyes. John keeps smiling and exhales deeply, letting everything sink in.)

AC: When I first met John and Sherlock, I had certain expectations. I read John’s blog. We all do, whether or not we choose to admit it. (glancing at Mycroft) I like to think I had some idea of their personalities going in, and that first meeting did not prove me wrong.

Sherlock was rude and suspicious and studied me with such intensity that I felt stripped of all secrets and pretenses. Defenseless to the onslaught of deduction that was surely coming. I immediately knew that if I were to hire him for a case, I would receive nothing but the best work and a speedy conclusion.

John was stern and calm and quick to laugh. Very polite, but with a temper lurking beneath. A good soldier and a good doctor. I immediately knew I would receive only the best care, far better than even my expectations, if I was his patient.

Now, we all know these two men work well together and they are clearly best friends. The proof of both is in the blog. But what would draw them together into something more? Two men who seem polar opposites. They’ll drive each other mad, I thought. Why aren’t they insane already? It must be the sex.

(The smiles and quiet chuckles in the garden give way to real laughter when Mrs. Hudson, of all people, lets out a burst of jocularity at that. She glances around at the other guests, a hint of pink on her cheeks, but with no other indication of embarrassment.)

Mrs. H: They are quite noisy.

(Everyone laughs heartily. John tucks his chin to his chest and smiles, his cheeks crimson. Sherlock bites his lip to keep from grinning and angles his face to catch a glimpse of his groom.)

M: (in a low mischievous tone) Allow me to sound proof the building, Mrs. Hudson.

(More laughter fills the air. The grooms catch each other’s eye and smile shyly. Right after Sherlock rolls his eyes, that is.)

AC: And then something happened. (reigning everyone in again) I almost didn’t notice it. It was the smallest of movements. They were sitting together on a sofa and, while he was talking, without the slightest giveaway, John slowly angled his leg until his knee touched Sherlock’s.

I could see the warmth spiraling from that single point, filling both men with comfort. At that moment, the meeting changed. John and Sherlock both eased back into the sofa and relaxed. Sherlock was still pretty skeptical, but he was willing to listen and talk.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. John’s always keeping the peace, making sure Sherlock behaves himself, (Sherlock lifts his chin and gives her a haughty look) but it’s more than that. John brings Sherlock peace. And Sherlock does the same for John.

The more I met with them, the more I realized that they were both restless and incomplete before they met one another. Neither was happy. Something was missing. After every solved case, after every battle or patient, something was always missing.

And then, one touch, one look changed everything. ‘May I borrow your mobile?’ … ‘Here, use mine.’

(Mike can’t help but puff up with pride.)

AC: Both minds stopped. Quiet at last. John and Sherlock have both referred to that moment as the beginning. The moment each knew he could find what he’d always been missing. And as time went on, they each began to realize there was more than friendship between them. A thousand looks while their backs were turned, lingering just a little too close for a little too long, and finally…that first kiss.

(Amber pauses. The silence is broken only by quiet sniffling. Molly rivals Mrs. Hudson for the wettest eyes.)

AC: I wish I could say it has all been smooth sailing from that moment on, but it has not. What it has been is life, and one that John and Sherlock would never exchange. One that they are overjoyed. Ecstatic. To live together.

(Sherlock and John meet eyes, both nearly giddy. The detective reaches for his blogger’s hand and squeezes it warm with his fingers. A quiet giggle passes through John’s lips. Sherlock’s silver eyes sparkle at the sound.)

AC: Gentleman, please face each other and join hand. (Sherlock glances at her with a cock of his brow and she smirks.) Well, what do you expect? You’re always one step ahead.

(There are a few giggles as Sherlock faces John fully and accepts John’s hand when he reaches for him. John straightens his shoulders, grinning at his detective. A shiver runs down his spine. His whole body is tingling with anticipation. In mere minutes, Sherlock will be his husband. He will be Sherlock’s husband. He will be Dr. John Holmes Watson.)

J: Sherlock, I’ve been thinking.

(Sherlock narrows his eyes, honing in on his fiance.)

S: John, I will not let you see my vows and it is not because I haven’t yet written them.

J: (pausing) You haven’t written your vows yet?

(The taller man straightens his spine and looks away stubbornly.)

S: I’m not going to write them down. I know what I want to say. (looking at John and pursing his lips) I have thought about it a great deal.

(John blinks slowly and exhales loudly. John Watson Number 10: The ‘What the fuck’ face.)

J: Fine. Forget it. I was actually talking about my name.

S: Your name?

J: Yes, I’d like to change my name once we’re married.

S: To something other than John? No. I do not approve. I will still call you John.

J: Not my first name, you git. Hamish. I want to change Hamish. (he pauses and his tone softens) I want to change it to Holmes.

(Sherlock’s defiant expression melts into one of shock. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he can finally find the words.)

S: John Holmes Watson. You want to take my name?

J: Yes. (He wipes a tear from Sherlock’s cheek and looks into his shining eyes.) It’s ironic, don’t you think? That my middle name already begins with an H.

S: It is. More than you know. (clearing his throat) I intended on changing William to Watson.

J: (huffing a short laugh) Watson Sherlock Scott Holmes?

S: (sighing) I will also alter its position.

J: (laughing and pecking Sherlock’s delicious lips playfully) Sherlock Watson Holmes… I like it.

AC: At this time, our grooms would like to exchange vows before all of you, their family and friends.

(Amber nods to Sherlock. He smiles and looks at John, meeting his deep blue eyes. When he begins to speak, his rich baritone wavers, but quickly evens out without losing any of its sincerity.)

S: John, when I first met you, I thought you were like everyone else. As easy to read as a book with no cover. You moved into the flat. We worked our first case. And you did what no one has done. You surprised me. As I sat in the back of an ambulance, wrapped in that infernal orange blanket, I watched you. I met your eyes and knew at that moment that I must learn everything about this miraculous man called John Watson.

I knew I cared for you almost immediately, but did not realize just how much until you and Sarah were taken during The Blind Banker. It quickly became clear to me that, in spite of myself, my feelings ran deeper than friendship. Much deeper. And I was terrified. I had spent my life ignoring, suppressing, denying my emotions in favor of what I thought was a higher level of existence. One devoid of sentiment and the difficulties that come with it. I tried to push it down, hide my feelings away until they faded completely. But they didn’t fade at all. They grew stronger.

Then that night by the pool… (shaking his head and stepping closer) When I tore off that coat and the Semtex, I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to hold you in my arms and feel our bodies touch over every inch. I wanted so much to tell you everything. Every thought, every feeling, everything I suddenly knew I could never suppress again. (shrugging) But I couldn’t find the words. Sherlock Holmes, who knows all, sees all, who misses nothing, had not the words to express his deepest emotions.

So I hid it from you. I watched you date, sabotaged your relationships, wondered with mind-numbing curiosity when you stopped dating, not daring to hope it was because you felt something for me. It wasn’t until Scandal in  Belgravia that I even knew what to call my feelings, and then I hadn’t the voice. She threw it in our faces again and again, challenging me. But I walked away. I could not bring myself to say the words for fear of failure, or disappointing you…losing you. Even after you confessed your feelings for me, even now, I avoid saying it in the presence of others. So, I say it now.

I love you. I love you. I love you. (By the third time, every muscle in his body that was tense has relaxed. His face is peaceful and a smile dances across his lips.)

I love you more than the universe is wide - 100,000 light years side to side. (Stunned, John looks at his groom with surprised eyes. His jaw drops, the corners of his mouth curling.) It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light years thick. It’s 3000 light years wide by the Earth. I know it all now. The universe, our solar system. I memorized it for you, John. I’m still uncertain why this knowledge is so necessary to you, but what is important to you is of the utmost importance to me. (flashing a grin, his brows rising) You, it’s always been you. You keep me right.

You, John Watson, are my sun, my conductor of light, and I will orbit you for all time.

(The garden is dead silent, as if even the wildlife stopped to listen. A tear rolls down John’s cheek and drips off his chin when he smiles up at Sherlock adoringly. A breathless Sherlock watches, quietly marveling at his beautiful John, memorizing every detail of the doctor’s face in this moment.

Amber smiles at the detective and then nods the go-ahead for John. He inhales deeply and swallows hard. Sherlock can tell what he’s thinking as if he were saying it to him. How can I possibly follow that?The detective smiles tenderly and squeezes John’s hands. The doctor meets his eyes. Don’t worry. It will be perfect. John smiles and wets his lips, inhaling deeply once again before he begins.)

J: Sherlock, you amaze me. Although, (he grins mischievously, eyes bright) after our first few words, I might have thought amazingly rude. (Quiet titters float about the garden and even Sherlock cannot help the grin that spreads over his own lips. How different they were then.) And then you said Afghanistan or Iraq, and I was hooked. (John shrugs his shoulders and affects John Watson Number 202: adorable, honest, vulnerable, content.)

You see everything. You know everything about everyone in a single look and I thought, after that first case, that there was absolutely no way you didn’t see right through me. Every look, every movement, every stolen glance. (still grinning, but looking sheepish) I tried to be…subtle about it because I knew I’d never be able to stop and I was afraid to hear your opinion on it, your deduction. I’d even look at your ass when your back was turned, for Christ sake. (more chuckles, tutting from a teary Mrs. Hudson) But I could never keep my eyes off your lips. And I couldn’t even hope to hide it.

(John pauses and his eyes drop before he can stop them. Both men wet their lips without thinking, looking into the other’s eyes.)

Amazing. In my mind, there was no way you didn’t know and no chance you had any interest. Not in an ordinary, broken army doctor like me. Also something I learned during that first case - that you were married to your work.

So I dated and I denied. If I’m honest, I wasn’t annoyed that people thought we were a couple as much as I was that we weren’t. I wanted so badly to be everything to you, but knew I never would be. As the years passed, so much happened between us and…I gave up. (Sherlock cocks a brow, so John clarifies.) I gave up dating. I wanted you, and only you. I’d grown to love you so completely. And I thought, it’s fine. It’s fine if he doesn’t want me, as long as he’s in my life.

(John dips his chin, embarrassed once again, and raises his eyes to gaze at the taller man.) I didn’t know what to do after New Year’s Eve. Our first kiss. I can still feel your lips on mine - gentle, tentative. It was the first time I dared to think you might feel the same. That maybe I could be more than your best friend.

S: (in his silky baritone) And then, the dinner.

J: (smiling) Yes, dinner. You were prodding me about spending so much time with Mycroft, like you were jealous, and…and I just said it. (His hand raises to cup the detective’s cheek lightly) God, I love you, Sherlock. You give of yourself so fully, so completely. And not just to me. To everyone you care about, whether it’s easy or the hardest thing to do.

(biting at his lip) It has been hard for us. But every time I’ve been so frightened and empty, you’ve brought me back. You take me in your arms and hold me tightly to your warmth, your life. Just like you did when we met. (John meets Sherlock’s silver eyes and swallows down a sob. Tears pricking at the corners of his own, even as he blinks to hold them back.) I was so alone and you gave me so much. Time and time again. Now, I… (his voice hitches, but he presses on) I will spend my life giving you all I have. Everything I have in my heart, everything you deserve. I’ll hold nothing back. Not anymore. You are a good man. The best man. And I will do my best to be worthy of you..

(A tear falls from John’s sparkling, deep blue eyes. He suddenly feels Sherlock’s hand at his nape, bowing his head, their foreheads pressing together. John closes his eyes and more tears fall. He tries to slow his rapid breaths and steady his heart. Sherlock sighs and then inhales John’s scent deeply, whispering gentle words to him alone.)

S: You are, John. You are.

(Sherlock raises his head and kisses the smaller man’s forehead. They take a step back from one another and lock eyes. Sherlock has never seen John so vulnerable. He shivers, even as John does the same, seeing the same expression on Sherlock’s face. Their hands slip away from necks and cheeks until they find one another again, long and short fingers holding tight. A small smile sparks on Sherlock’s lips. A wide grin plays across John’s in response.

Amber clears her throat and steps closer to the couple.)

AC: Sherlock Holmes, do you take John Watson to be your lawfully wedded husband. To give him your whole heart and keep his for the whole of your lives, and as long as your souls live beyond.

S: I do.

AC: John Watson, do you take Sherlock Holmes to be your lawfully wedded husband. To give him your whole heart and keep his for the whole of your lives, and as long as your souls live beyond.

J: God, yes. I do.

(John raises a brow when Sherlock visibly shivers. The taller man does not break eye contact, nor does he acknowledge that anything unusual happened at all. John’s lips begin to curl, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes, which momentarily lose their focus. He has the oddest feeling of deja vu, as if he and Sherlock have done this before, not once but many times. The words ‘I do’ falling from his lips. A shiver running through Sherlock’s slender body.

The sound of Amber clearing her throat draws John’s attention, his eyes focusing on Sherlock once again. He wears a quizzical expression, a hint of concern in his silver eyes. John’s mouth curves upward in reassurance and comfort. It seems his message is received when Sherlock returns the smile.)

AC: At this time, John and Sherlock have chosen to exchange rings as a symbol of their love and commitment to one another. Greg, Mike, if you please.

(Mike and Greg each step up and place a wedding ring on the small, purple notebook she holds in her hands. She nods at them in turn with a broadening smile at Greg, mouthing ‘All done’ at him. He beams back at her.)

AC: Thank you. (looking to John and Sherlock) Gentlemen, please take these rings.

(Both men pick up a ring and then return gazing at one another. Their bodies are tingling. John actually feels like his lips might be numb. He tips up onto his toes for a second and drops back down again. Sherlock’s brows shoot up and down, and he grins at his groom like a complete idiot.)

AC: Sherlock, if you please.

(Sherlock lifts John’s left hand and begins sliding the textured platinum ring onto his finger as he speaks, his words rising into the air like a prayer.)

S: When I was young, my mother used to tell me that at a very few times in life, if I was lucky, I might meet someone who is exactly right for me. Not because he is perfect, or because I am, (his eyes lift slowly to meet John’s) but because our combined flaws are arranged in a way that allows two separate beings to hinge together. I have, for the first time, found what I can truly love. I have found you.

AC: (looking to the misty-eyed doctor) John, if you please.

(John sniffles quietly and gently raises Sherlock’s left hand. He speaks in a hushed voice as he glides the smooth band of tungsten carbide he revealed to Sherlock only moments ago on his long finger.)

J: You are sunlight falling through trees. You are laughter that breaks through my sadness. You are a cool breeze on a day that is too warm. You are clarity in the midst of confusion. You are all that is good in the world, my world. If love was a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches. And we would be in the center of them all.

(Amber takes a step back and nods. The two men join hands, each noticing as the other’s ring brushes against his skin. Silver and blue meet across a short expanse and the grooms whisper together reverently.)

S & J: With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

AC: (triumphantly) May what has been declared here today last for all time and may no man put asunder. John Holmes Watson, Sherlock Scott Watson Holmes… You. Are. Married.

(Spontaneous applause fills the garden and echoes over the meadows. Amber leans in and taps Sherlock’s arm, catching the hyper-observant man’s attention immediately.)

AC: Kiss your husband.

(Sherlock doesn’t need to be told twice. Without even blinking, he drops John’s hands and closes the distance between them, pressing his body solidly against the shorter man and enveloping him in his long arms. Sherlock’s lips cover John’s swiftly. He takes full advantage of his height, and John’s surprise, tipping his new husband’s head back and twisting his tongue around John’s. In spite of himself, the doctor tilts his head back even more and dances his own tongue along Sherlock’s, reveling in the way they fit perfectly.

The garden erupts in applause again, along with cat calls and whistles led by Greg and Wiggins. It does not let up when their lips part. They look into one another’s wide eyes, warm breath against their parted lips, everyone else falls away.

Breathless and a little dizzy, John senses Sherlock’s thumb delicately brushing away a tear he was unaware he had shed. The corners of his mouth curl.)

S: (whispering) Don’t cry…husband. (sighing and cupping John’s face in his big hands) I have waited to call you husband for so long.

J: (hands on that slim waist) Wait no longer. Husband.

(Grins break over both of their faces and they kiss again. Chaste and quicker this time, but with no less passion.

Amber holds up her arms to quiet everyone as she speaks loudly.)

AC: (playfully) All right, all right. We still have a few things to tend to, so save it. (to the crowd) It is now my honor and privilege to congratulate Sherlock and John, husbands at last.

(Another cheer rises up. Mrs. Hudson and Bertie rush forward, each embracing one of the men in a bone crushing hug. They quickly swap places before Sherlock or John can escape and only let the other guests have a go when they are satisfied that all the stuffing has been squeezed from both men.

The rest of the crowd gathers around, bestowing more hugs and claps on the back. Words of congratulations and well wishes float through the air and, although John and Sherlock hear them all, they aren’t entirely focused on the people around them. Their eyes constantly come back to one another, full of excitement each time. That is, until about ten minutes have passed and John notices the strain on Sherlock’s face. He steps through the crowd to his husband and turns to them all, beaming from ear to ear.)

J: Why don’t we all go through the trellis to the reception. Come on, everyone.

MS: Capitol idea, John. Come! Let’s all take our seats and start the celebration. Cake to eat, speeches to give. Eh, Greg?

(Everyone laughs at Greg’s nervous nod and begins heading for the trellis. John moves to the side and pulls Sherlock over with him. The man looks restless, brimming with anxiety. John slowly strokes his thumb over the back of Sherlock’s hand.)

S: How long must we wait before making them all leave?

J: Just calm down, babe. It’s only a wedding reception and all these people are our friends.

S: How long do they typically last?

J: Um…four or five hours, maybe.

(Sherlock stares at John, his mouth opening and closing without a sound. John just grins and gives him that look that says ‘you really are so precious’.)

S: (incredulous and seething) Five hours?? Intolerable.

J: Okay, okay.

(He presses a gentle kiss to Sherlock’s lips. It’s a longer kiss than John might normally do in the presence of others, but the calming effect of his nibbles is more on his mind than embarrassment over public displays of affection.

He can feel the tension melting out of his husband’s muscles the longer he plays with his lips. A hand resting instinctively on Sherlock’s waist gives him a little squeeze. John opens his eyes as he pulls away, still feeling Sherlock’s warm breath on his mouth.)

J: You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you the whole time. (Sherlock frowns with those delectably full lips and John sighs.) I promise we’ll stay in for a whole week if you want. And turn away anyone who comes to visit.

S: Anyone?

J: Anyone.

(Sherlock’s hands glide up and down John’s back. His eyes momentarily drop to John’s lips hungrily and then rise up again innocently.)

S: And if I want to spend the week in our bedroom?

J: (laughing) Then that is where we will be.

S: Promise?

J: Yes, I promise.

(Sherlock studies him for a moment in mock suspicion and then kisses him softly.)

S: (smiling against his lips) Shall we then? It is our reception, after all.

(John returns the kiss and leads his new husband under the trellis into the applause of their friends patiently waiting on the other side.)

[svtskneecaps]

Blink and You’ll Miss It - Part 7

Summary: Sanha’s been a curious shit her whole life. Jackson’s always told her she’s going to get herself killed at some point. She thought that was a bunch of bull, but he might’ve actually been right. She might be in way over her head on this one.

Featuring: A bunch of bull, a lot of cursing, merciless butchering of honorifics, and other things. Essentially, it’s a Comedy of Errors: Story Version.

Warnings: Cursing. Lots and lots of it.

First ~~~ Previous ~~~ Next

Masterlist

Sanha almost slammed the door, almost turned tail and ran for it, almost lashed out. Apparently she needed to get her fight or flight instinct fixed, because she didn’t do anything except stare.

He’d noticed that the door was open, but all he’d done was turn away from her, shoulders shaking. Questions swirled through her head, but the only one that seemed applicable was “What the fuck?” and she accidentally said it in English. Apparently he understood, because his broken breathing changed to apologies.

This was so above her pay grade.

How long she stood there, she had no idea; she wasn’t timing it. She didn’t know what to do. Should she close the door and go one with her mission? She didn’t. She’d probably regret it, but she crouched down, finding a spot next to him and taking a page out of her mother’s book: rubbing circles on his back with her hand. It’d always calmed her down.

BamBam uncurled after what felt like longer than it probably was, swiping a sleeve across his face. He almost seemed scared to look at her. She wasn’t sure if now was when the conversation started. She felt like Poe Dameron, “So who talks first, you talk first? I talk first?” except the situation was completely different.

He pulled in a shaky breath, and her scrambling brain pulled back. “Why?”

“That’s not very specific.” The words dropped from her lips almost without her knowledge. Apparently it was instinct to treat everyone like Jackson when she got nervous and add a little teasing.

“Why are you helping me?” He turned slightly, still not quite facing her.

She didn’t know the answer herself. “Empathy?” The opal ring they’d picked up the hour before enhanced that. Maybe that was her issue. And now she’d die because of it. Sanha, you idiot. She didn’t know what to say. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine now.” She got to her feet and offered him a hand up. With the startled look he gave her, you’d think she was handing him the keys to her house. After a second of hesitation, he took it.

“Kay, but now you have to give me a five minute head start before you kill me,” she joked, fully expecting to not see the sunrise.

To her surprise, BamBam sighed and stared at the floor again. “That’s the other guy’s job.”

He’d hit her weakness. Her interest was piqued. She was already dead at this point; she might as well go out doing what she loved. “Other guy?”

“You wouldn’t believe it.”

“Maybe not, but I’ve got a twenty minute power point presentation all about why you should tell me anyway. Title is You Never Know Until You Try.” He snorted.

“Okay, fine.” He still didn’t look at her. “There’s another spirit, I guess that the girl summoned to help her. He stole my body with me still in it and he’s been using it.” He finally met her eyes. “I’m sorry about your friend, by the way.”

She surveyed him, a couple quick once-overs, and nodded. “I believe you.”

That obviously shocked him. “You’re not messing with me, are you?”

“Nope.” There’d been a change of plans. Forget the initial mission; she had the sneaking suspicion it wouldn’t make sense to continue with it anymore. She shook her head. “We need to leave.” Ignoring the confused look on his face, she moved to the door.

If Sanha had thought the other three were bad at moving their bodies, BamBam was worse. I twas no fault of his own, of course. He hadn’t even had the limited freedom the other kids had as semi-free roaming spirits. He probably hadn’t moved on his own in fifty years. That didn’t change the fact that he was walking like a baby giraffe, but it was cute.

They only made it to the entryway.

“Sanha!”

She cringed, hearing Jackson’s voice calling out, and turned around reluctantly.

“Get away from him, he’s dangerous; you know that!” Jackson came closer, and she backed away, instinctively moving between him and BamBam. The hurt expression on his face broke her heart, but she wasn’t sure yet.

“Yeah, well, you know me and running towards danger,” she mumbled, taking a few steps back.

“This is different now, you know this. He could kill you!”

He wouldn’t be acting this way. He never had before. Jackson would’ve noticed her actions, would’ve asked what she knew that he didn’t, would’ve done anything else but this. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and lit up the screen.

His eyes were blue.

“BamBam, get out of the building.” She kept her voice light and didn’t look away.

“I’m not going to just-”

“BamBam,” she repeated, “get out of the building.”

He didn’t argue that time. She knew he hadn’t left either, but she heard him move towards the door. She just hoped it was enough.

“Why do you trust him more than me?” Jackson’s voice asked. “Come on, I’m your best friend.”

“No; Jackson’s my best friend.” She stashed her phone back in her pocket, preparing herself. “You’re just some blue eyed dickhole.”

“They’re just contacts!”

She had to chuckle, even though she was 100% terrified. “Checkmate, fucker. Jackson oppa hates contacts. He’s scared of them getting stuck behind his eye.”

His face darkened and he rushed forward, but she was already running. She didn’t bother with vocal instructions and grabbed BamBam’s arm, pulling him along behind her. They didn’t stop running until they were through the fence, and then they just stopped there, catching their breath. Sanha slumped against the fence. BamBam just dropped.

“How’d you know?” BamBam asked after awhile.

“How’d I know what?”

“Any of it.” He rolled onto his back. “That Jackson was possessed, and that I wasn’t.”

“Easy.” She smiled. “Your eyes were blue earlier, like, aggressively blue. And then his eyes were blue in the entryway.”

“You based all of that on eyes?” He squinted at her. “You couldn’t have known what color my eyes were supposed to be.”

“Well the eyes worked for Jackson oppa. And they were only what sealed it for me with you. I had some other bits.” She bounced a little on the chain link fence, letting it rock her a little. “Like how bodies are functionally invincible when they’re not controlled by their matching spirit. A five on one fistfight shouldn’t end in the one winning. I’ll admit,” she added as an afterthought, “I didn’t really think about what it all meant until I saw you in the closet.”

“Thank you again for that.” He bowed his head a little, getting up again.

“Don’t mention it.” She flashed a cheeky peace sign, hoping to get him a little more comfortable. “It’s all in the line of duty.”

He laughed a little as they started walking. “What duty?”

“Nosing into every corner of people’s lives. That’s what my mom likes to say, anyway. My business is everyone else’s business.”

“You should print that on a business card and start a private eye service.”

Her eyes lit up. “That doesn’t sound half bad.”

He grinned at the expression of childlike glee on her face. The conversation fell away for a few steps, but it picked back up as Sanha pushed the door to her own dorm building open. “How are we going to break it to everyone else?”

“I’ll make a power point and wake everyone up in the dead of night to show them.” She rubbed her hands together. “It’s brilliant! The neighbors will hate me, the use of modern technology will confuse most of the kids, and the other two will probably actually kill me. There’s no way the plan can go wrong.”

“I thought you said two of them would kill you.”

“At this point I’m not sure I’m entirely opposed. I’m living on borrowed time~!” she sang, taking long, fluid, waltzing steps down the hall. He shook his head at her antics and trailed along behind.

Luckily for them, the kids crashed in Sanha’s dorm were out for the count. She didn’t have to explain that second. Her phone read 3:42 am, and it had been a week which had been more than eventful.

“Go ahead and crash in the room down the hall and to the right, second door,” she directed him. “Just don’t go rooting around in the stuff, okay?”

“We still don’t know what we’re doing about this,” he whispered back, indicating himself.

“i’ll deal with it when I’m lucid.” She fought back a monster yawn as she spoke. “I haven’t slept in almost 24 hours and I’ve got to figure out how to exorcise my best friend by midnight today. I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it, okay?” She wasn’t sure when she’d slipped into English, but either way the malapropism sounded better in her native tongue.

“I thought it was ‘cross that bridge’.” He frowned in confusion, also speaking English.

“There’s a whole grammar thing involved that I’ll tell you about in a couple of hours if you still want to know.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Don’t worry, I love talking people’s ears off with fun tidbits. Now go to bed.”

“Sure thing mom.”

~~~~~~~

Being a lying piece of trash, Sanha didn’t actually get to sleep for another hour as she searched up how to properly exorcise a person. After coming up with thing, she’d accidentally fallen asleep out of frustration. Needless to say, she was a bit disgruntled when she woke up with her face buried in the arm of the couch.

“Took you long enough,” Jaebum teased when he saw her sit up.

“You sleep like a rock, noona.” Youngjae took his chance and ran away with it.

“Yeah well you try researching for hours.” She covered her mouth as she yawned, setting her laptop to the side before it slid off the couch. She was honestly surprised it hadn’t yet. “And then doing some work in the field too.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Mark noted. The boys were all sat on the floor in a circle around the couch. She wasn’t sure when that had happened, but it didn’t matter.

“Danger is my middle name,” she mumbled in English, moving into the kitchen space to grab a breakfast bar and check the time. She calculated she’d slept for a measly 4 hours. That was more than enough to get her through the day.

Probably.

“We just went antiques shopping.” Yugyeom jumped in. “It wasn’t dangerous.”

She bobbed her head around, singing “field trip” under her breath as she grabbed her breakfast bar.

“What time did you get back?” Jaebum asked.

Yugyeom shrugged. “Around one, I think?”

“Sanha, what did you do?”

She turned around to find Jaebum staring at her. “What d’you mean what did I do?”

“Jackson told me you only get dancey when you didn’t get sleep. What time did you get to bed?”

She shrugged. “Four or five.”

All the sane individuals in the room erupted. She made vigorous shushing noises at them. “Shut the hell up, you’ll wake the kid!”

“We’re all awake.” Jinyoung glanced around the circle.

“Oh yeah.” She hummed, closing the cabinet door. “I may have gone on a bit of a field trip and picked up a straggler.”

“She gets dramatic when she’s tired,” Youngjae stage whispered to the group. She made a face at him and took her spot on the couch again.

“I got back from antiques shopping with Yugyeom and realized that it was dumb to go in guns blazing again.” She figured it would be better to get her motivation out of the way first. “Because five on one somehow wasn’t enough, and I doubt seven on one would be enough either. We needed a new plan, and my best idea was stealth.”

“You went back on your own?!”

“I know, it was dumb, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever.”

Jaebum slapped his forehead. “This is the exact opposite thing Jackson would have wanted!”

“As it turns out, Jackson oppa makes up 90% of my impulse control.” She ignored his mutter of ‘that’s terrifying’ in favor of finishing her story. “And anyway, some good came out of it. I got some info.”

“Info like what?” Jinyoung asked.

More awake, she got down to business, opening the wrapper on her breakfast bar. “We can’t beat this guy by kicking the crap out of him. It won’t work. We have to get him out of the body.”

“Sanha, we’re missing pieces.” Jaebum’s words were muffled by the hands he had still had on his face, but she recognized his meaning.

“Oh shit, right, sorry.” Sometimes she got so caught up in the investigation she’d forget that the people she was working with didn’t have all the bits. “So as it turns out, we’re not up against a demon, it’s actually a spirit. See, it wasn’t actually BamBam in control; that’s why we couldn’t hurt him.” She explained how she’d gotten to the conclusion again and was relieved when nobody questioned her on it.

“So now we have to get the spirit out of BamBam when we get Jackson?” Yugyeom sounded more excited than all of them at the news.

“Actually, no. That there’s a bit of a story, but I actually got BamBam last night. ‘s wild how that works.” She watched as the kid’s face lit up. Ah. Her half baked hypothesis was correct. BamBam was the kid’s best friend. “Let the poor kid sleep though, he’s had a rough night.”

“Is the spirit in Jackson, then?” Mark asked.

“Good guess. Yeah, that’s what we’re working with right now. It’s going to be a little more difficult to get him back than I thought.”

“You already did research, didn’t you?” Youngjae knew her well enough to know that much.

“You bet. Exorcisms are out.” She picked up her notepad and took a bite out of her breakfast bar (finally). She covered her mouth with one had as she kept talking. “They’re just for demons; it’s all about Christ and God and the Lord’s prayer and shit. That’s not going to work for us.” She paused. “As a side note, don’t look up exorcisms at four in the morning. Spooky shit, that.”

“So are we just researching how to get spirits out of bodies now?” Mark’s fingers danced around, slightly anxiously.

“Yeah. There’s got to be a way to do it, since this dickbag managed to do it to you three. We just need to find it.”

“Language,” Jinyoung mumbled.

“Sorry.”

[kpurereactions]

She Boss | Part 2

Summery: She's her own boss and theres nothing that can't stop her from ruling the world. Except for the soft heart she sprouts from the young, handsome Korean Leader. Pairing: Kwon Jiyong x Reader Rating: Drama, Angst, Smut, Fluff WARNINGS: Language, light|heavy Violence, light|heavy Smut

Part 1 | 2 |  3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

You were sat around the long table that was catty cornered to the kitchen Dino stood cooking in. The rest of the boys sat around you trying to convince you to live in Seoul for a month, just to try it out. You were just about to break and agree when Ule walked into the room holding a cream envelope in one hand and a large box in the other.

"Delivery for the beautiful Valentina Cappucio." He mocked holding the things up for you to see better.

"The hell is that?" You said standing to take the box out of his hands and turn to place it on the table. You looked up to see both Vince and Carlo smirking at you.

"What did you do?" You snapped, snatching the card out of Ules hand. You gave him a stern look before pulling the knife Martin, another one of your guards, was using to clean under his nails out of his hands and slicing the envelope open

You are formally invited to the 42 annual Dragon Ball. Attire: Formal Gold and black When: Friday, January 13th Time: 6o'Clock to 3 am

A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth as you remembered the spoken invitation Jiyong had given you. You could tell he had handled this particular invitation as 'Gold and Black' was crossed out and 'red' was scribbled on the side. On the bottom of the letter in the same loose handwriting there was a note.

P. S. I can't wait to see you, I will send a car your way at 5:30 so we can make our grand entrance. P. S. S. Please accept these gifts, I saw them and thought of you -G.D

You looked over to the cream box and placed the letter down to slowly undo the red ribbon that held it close. After dropping the material, carefully removing the top, and folding back the same blood red color tissue and you're eyes went wide.

In the box was a sleek, dark red dress. You pulled it out and held it up so you could see better and let your eyes wonder. It hit the ground in a soft circle and the off the shoulder top made you bite your lip. It was elegant with just the right amount of sexy as you turned it around to see how the back dip into a V. You were so infatuated with the dress you didn't even notice there was more. It wasn't until you saw Ule pull three other boxes out did you hand the dress to Vince to go hang. In the first box, the largest, was a pair of dark red heels that snaked up your leg as a dragon. The next box showed a cream clutch that had the same dark red embroidered into dragons along it, and the last box was a much smaller velvet box that made your eyes widen when the lid was lifted. It was an antique, there was no doubting that since the gold of it was darker and more worn looking. You lifted the necklace out and held it carefully between your fingers to examine it better. The thin gold chain connected in the front as the chain turned from dainty to thick, transforming into the head of a dragon with blood red eyes. The other end hooked through the dragons mouth and the bit that hung out was looped into a matching dark red stone.

There was a note in the bottom of the velvet case and you picked it up before the boys could notice it and read it carefully.

My father sent this to my mother for her first ball with him, I feel it's only appropriate. xoxo, Ji

You discreetly held the note to your heart before you slipped it in the pocket of your shirt and placed the necklace back in its box.

"Damn, this guy is smooth." Vince said looking at you, deciding not to bring up the hit of pink beneath your cheeks.

"It's strictly business." You said coughing and collecting the boxes to take into your room where the red dress was now hanging well above the floor.

Carlo had followed you in and closed the door. He didn't say anything for a minute as he just watched you watch the dress.

"Jiyong is a dangerous man." He started moving to sit on your bed.

"And I'm a dangerous woman." You said not looking away from the dress.

"Exactly. I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing you two have this unspoken attraction towards each other."

"Well, were both two very attractive people." You smiled winking towards your older brother who just rolled his eyes.

"It was love at first sight, you mark my words. You two are going to destroy the world together." He said chuckling.

"I think it's time you call Jooyoung and Mina." You say changing the subject.

"Hello girls" you cooed from the couch you laid on, only in a large dress shirt you stole from Ule.

The two walked into your room a lot more comfortable this time and took no time in prepping themselves before calling you to the chair.

"Is that the dress?" Jooyoung said admiring the draping red material.

"Gorgeous right?" You said eyeing her.

"You're hair needs to be up." She said in response while collecting your thick locks and pulling them up. "Show off those collar bones."

"And I'm putting eyeshadow on you. There'll be none of this simple look going on tonight." Mina sung from beside you.

The two got to work silently, taking turns tilting your head this way and that as Jooyoung curled and and Mina contorted.

"I was surprised when we got a call from you again." Mina said as she blended the bronze into your skin.

"I liked you two, why change that?" You said stiffly, trying not to move too much.

"Surprisingly we like you too. A lot more than we thought we were going to." Jooyoung smiled

"Understandable." You chuckled as Mina moved onto your eyes.

"So, tell us where you're going tonight." She said taking the brush off your eyelid. You lent forward to take the invitation off the vanity and handed it to her for her to read.

"You're going to the Dragon ball.... and G Dragon signed this himself? Val do you know who he is?" She said in a worried whisper.

"I'm very well aware." You say.

"He has you wearing red..." Jooyoung said looking back up to the dress.

"Yes?" You said opening both of your eyes and turning to look at her.

"Well, it's just... the Kwon family, that's how they claim their women. Everyone shows up in the designated colors and those who wear red are automatically placed into their... well their world." She said wringing her hands.

"Girls, there's nothing to worry about. I know." You said smiling at the two of them as they both now round to sit against the vanity.

"It's just... if you know then you know their a very powerful family... a dangerously powerful family... only other dangerous family's are pulled into their circle." Joonyoung said.

You smiled and placed and on each of their knees.

"I know." You said smiling as nicely as you can.

"I'm.. please can I ask something?" Joonyoung said biting her lip. You nodded and she looked to Mina before turning back to you. "Are you in... the same business?" She said, obviously scared she asked something she shouldn't have. You smiled, admiring her braveness and feeling sad that she was so nervous.

"Yes." You began. "But that stays in this room. I really like you two and I'm starting to consider you a friend. Please don't make me regret that." They both nod and force a smile, now obviously timid with being around you.

"Wait so last time you waltzed in your meeting in that dress and just told other mafia men what to do?" Mina said shaking her head. You laughed and rose an eyebrow.

"They were shaking in their boots." You said causing a light giggle to come from the both of them.

"Girl power." Mina said shaking her head before instructing you to close your eyes again.

"Thank you for not completely freaking out. You obviously know a little more about the business than you should." You said, smiling as Jooyoung rubbed your shoulders.

"You know, if someone as powerful as you befriends you, you roll with it. As long as I'm not brought into anything I could careless what you do." She said, more confident now.

You placed your hand on hers before letting the two of them finish. You had to call Ule in to get the dress down but soon after he left you stripped and turned silently asking Mina to zip your dress before bending to slip your feet into the shoes that were provided.

"He's just stamped his name all over you, hasn't he." Joon said reading the note you handed her as Mina secured the necklace around your throat.

"Pretty much. But don't worry, I'm claiming him too." You said with a wicked grin as you pulled a black and red pocket square out of a bag that had your families snake and rose design all over it.

"Smart girl." Jooyoung said handing the note to Mina to read.

"You look perfect." She said looking over to you as you stood.

You smiled just as there was a knock on the door and you smiled at each girl before leading them out of the room where all six boys stood in their own versions of black and gold tuxedos. The last thing you saw before hugging the girls bye was the blush that crept to Mina's cheeks as Carlo winked at her softly.

It was a sleek black limo that picked you up and drove you to the party. Flutes of champagne were passed around for the drive and you eventually gave up on trying to hide your excitement, it was better to get it out now than while there since you did have a reputation to uphold. You couldn't help but silently gawk out the solo window as you pulled up to the large house, waiting as the limo stopped. You heard the driver talking to someone saying you had arrived and then opened the door slightly to politely ask you to wait for the boss to meet you.

It didn't take long for Jiyong to open the door and step aside as all six men climbed over you to exit the car. When his hand finally reached in for yours you took a deep breath putting your game face on and placed your hand in his. He had his serious face on too, but the moment you stepped out and made sure all of your skirt had followed it faulted into the grin he had the night of the meeting. He coughed and bowed slightly before once again kissing your ring.

"You look stunning." He said quietly into your ear as he offered his arm up to you. Before you started walking though his eyes caught the necklace and he took the head between his thumb and forefinger letting a smile reach his cheeks again before looking into your eyes.

"I was worried it would be too much." He said clearing his throat again before returning to his business face.

"I thought it was sweet." You said causing him to chuckle again.

"You might be the death of me." He said with glittering eyes.

He led you across the pavement and up the grand stairs that lead to the entrance. You could see into the room- it had been accented with gold everywhere. People were already drinking and laughing having a care free time, you did think it was weird no one was on the laid out dance floor though since music was already being played. You then remembered what Jooyoung had said and looked over to Jiyong who wore a deep red tuxedo jacket that was accented with a black collar, black dress shirt and the same deep red slacks that had the signature black tuxedo stripe down the leg. He looked over to you and smiled again, only to drop it when you turned towards him and pulled out his pocket square.

"Here." You said smiling and pulling the material you had put in your clutch out and flipping and folding it to tuck it back into his jacket. "Now you have a little bit of me." You said nonchalantly before resting your hand on the crook of his arm and setting your business face back on. You could see him grinning from beside you.

"The death of me." He said just as a loud voice called attention to the crowd.

[droneseco]

Logitech G915 TKL Keyboard Review: High Quality at a High Price

Logitech G915 TKL

9.50 / 10

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Without a doubt, the Logitech G915 TKL is an excellent keyboard. I've been using it every day for the past three months and I have no regrets. It's responsive, has all the features I want from a keyboard, and looks great with an impressive build quality. If the technical specifications and aesthetics of the G915 TKL appeal to you, and you're willing to pay the asking price, you won't be disappointed.

Key Features

Tenkeyless and mechanical

Tactile switches

Wireless

Specifications

Brand: Logitech

Wireless: Lightspeed / Bluetooth

Backlight: RGB

Media Controls: Yes

Battery: 40 hours (100% brightness), 1,080 hours (0% brightness)

Num Pad: No

Switch Type: Tactile

Replaceable Keys: Yes

Pros

Satisfying and smooth typing experience

Quiet, considering it's a mechanical keyboard

Sleek and stylish low-profile design

Vibrant and very customizable RGB lighting

Decent battery life, especially with RGB off

Switches between two devices easily

Cons

Very expensive

Only the function keys can be programmed for macros

Buy This Product

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There's no doubt about it: the Logitech G915 TKL is a premium mechanical keyboard.

It looks stylish, with a compact design, brushed metal finish, and flashy RGB lights. It's wireless, with a reasonably portable weight and decent battery life. It also has nifty additional features like media keys and the ability to connect to multiple devices.

All of that helps make a good keyboard, but none of that matters if the typing experience is terrible. Happily, the Logitech G915 TKL is the best typing experience I've had. The low-profile tactile keys are a joy to use, offering satisfying force feedback without being too loud.

Here's the kicker though... it costs $230. Is it really worth spending that much on a keyboard?

Sleek, Compact, and White

While the Logitech G915 TKL does come in black, I've grown tired of all my computer peripherals sucking the light out of a room. While the black variant released first in June 2020, I waited patiently for the white. I'm glad I did.

With a brushed metal finish giving a premium, professional look and feel, the keyboard stands out on the desk. That aluminum alloy top is against a steel-reinforced base, so it feels like kit that's built to last. The underside of the keyboard is plastic, but it doesn't detract from the look—plus you're not looking there anyway.

Other reviews have noted that it's hard to see the keys on the black version in a dark room with the RGB off; that's not a problem here, since the dark letters pop against the white key caps.

There is one downside to the white: it'll show dust and dirt very easily and quickly. Obviously it depends on your environment, but I've found myself needing to dust the keyboard every week or so just to keep it looking spick and span.

The key caps are coated with material designed to minimize fingerprints and it's effective. After a long, intense gaming session there is some smudging where your fingers have been resting for hours, but you really have to look for it and it's easy to clean.

The TKL in the name denotes tenkeyless, meaning it lacks the right-hand number pad you might be used to. Frankly, unless you do lots of numerical data entry, you're unlikely to miss it. The lack of a number pad makes the keyboard compact (368 x 150 x 22 mm), though not cramped, which means you can bring your mouse closer for a more comfortable posture.

There's also no wrist rest. Having only ever used keyboards with one, I thought this would be troublesome. In fact, because the keyboard has such a low profile (it can either lay flat, or slightly raised to two settings via underside feet), there's no wrist strain and the lack of wrist rest was instantly forgotten.

Onboard Profiles, Media Buttons, and Volume Scroll

Since this is a TKL keyboard, that means there's not much space for dedicated programmable keys. However, Logitech's G Hub software does let you assign whatever you want to the function keys, including macros and game-specific actions.

It's a bit curious that you can't program every single key and that's presumably a limitation of the software rather than the hardware. It's something that Logitech would be wise to support, since more customization is no bad thing.

You can store three different profiles within the keyboard, which you can switch between on the fly with F1, F2, and F3. It works well, though I've not found much personal use for it.

At the top of the keyboard are dedicated buttons for things like changing brightness, entering game mode (to disable specific keys when gaming), along with media controls.

There's also a button for switching between the wireless USB dongle connection (which Logitech brands as Lightspeed) and Bluetooth, which means that you can use this keyboard on two devices at once. The switching is instantaneous, so power users should find no interruption to their workflow.

A minor complaint is that these buttons are slightly soft and don't feel that nice to press. They can be pushed easily from any angle, which is handy, but it does mean that they require some force to fully push in, resulting in an unsatisfactory wobble.

On the other hand, the volume slider that sits in the top-right of the keyboard is a delight. This textured wheel can be spun endlessly, which is fun in itself, but offers easy and quick refined volume control.

A Satisfying, Tactile Typing Experience

The Logitech G915 TKL comes in different key switch models, but I went for the tactile switches, which are quieter and don't require a full press to register a keystroke.

The tactile switches used here have an actuation distance of 1.5 mm, an actuation force of 50 g, and a total travel distance of 2.7 mm.

Despite being a small keyboard, it doesn't feel cramped. I'm able to type quickly using it, with each key press feeling responsive and pleasing; in part thanks to the smooth feel and slight curve of the keys.

Considering this is a mechanical keyboard, which are generally notorious for their noise, the G915 TKL is relatively quiet to type on. The tactile switches themselves are pretty inaudible, but if you type forcefully and quickly you will notice the volume.

I've never suffered from keystrokes not being registered, which is vital when typing and gaming. You won't even notice when the keyboard goes into rest mode, bar the green light of the battery light indicator showing briefly, since it wakes up and responds instantly the moment you press a key.

Simply put, typing on this keyboard is a joy. It's not only responsive, but it's also physically enjoyable thanks to the premium feedback of the tactile switches.

Light It Up With RGB

Of course, this wouldn't be a modern keyboard without RGB. I'm still not entirely sold on the concept, since I don't spend much time looking down at my keyboard, but there's no denying that it looks fantastic.

Within the G Hub software you have a whole host of different color and animation options. You can choose from presets like "breathing" that pulsates color, "echo press" that changes the color of keys as you press them, or "audio visualizer" that responds to your music.

If you don't like any of these, you can go ahead and build your own lighting options, customizing the colors (Logitech claims to have 16.8 million colors available), animations, speed, and so on. Chances are you can achieve all your RGB ambitions here.

You can even apply pre-configured profiles for specific games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, and Rocket League.

The colors are wonderfully bright and vibrant, even in a well-lit room. They pop especially well against the white key caps.

Reasonable Battery Life

This is a wireless keyboard, which means that battery life is important. You don't want the keyboard dying on you in the middle of a game.

If you keep the RGB on at full brightness, the Logitech G915 TKL will last around 40 hours. You can reduce the brightness to make the battery last longer, or turn the RGB off entirely.

As someone who writes for a living, and who owns a wireless keyboard to not have wires on my desk, 40 hours battery life will barely see me through the week. A bit more juice would have been appreciated.

You can conserve battery life in G Hub, where you can set inactivity lighting settings, like dimming the brightness after a minute. You can also choose various low battery warnings when it drops below 15% charge, like having the keys breathe red.

With no lights at all, the keyboard will last around 1,080 hours (that's 135 days of 8 hours use), which is much more reasonable. Losing the RGB is a shame, but you might consider it worthwhile to benefit from far superior battery life.

That said, the keyboard does charge quickly, from zero to full in under three hours. If you're a heavy computer user who wants all the lights, know that you will have to charge often. Just remember to plug it in overnight every week or so and you'll be fine.

Worth the Asking Price?

Without a doubt, the Logitech G915 TKL is an excellent keyboard. I've been using it every day for the past three months and I have no regrets. It's responsive, has all the features I want from a keyboard, and looks great with an impressive build quality.

Time to go out and buy one, right? Maybe. When it comes with a $230 price tag, this keyboard really needs to be perfect for you to justify that sort of expenditure. For me, it's everything I want from a keyboard.

However, if you value customizable keys and macros, the G915 TKL is let down by Logitech's inadequate G Hub software. Equally, if a wrist pad is important for you, it's a non-starter. Besides, there are cheaper alternatives that will give you those things.

But if the technical specifications and aesthetics of the G915 TKL appeal to you, and you're willing to pay the asking price, you won't be disappointed. This is a fantastic keyboard that I hope to use for years to come.

Logitech G915 TKL Keyboard Review: High Quality at a High Price published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

[minahraven]

What Others Don’t See (Jimin x Reader) (Fluff)

Anonymous said:

Hi! Can I request a Jimin fluff where he is like the outcast of the school and he's always alone, and one day you see him sitting alone at lunchtime, and you go sit by himself bc you don't like how he's always alone, and treated by others, and you want to be his friends. And then, you are always together, and Jimin starts developing feelings for you. And then you could add some smut, but it's up to you.

 A/N – I did make this pretty much super-fluff, simply because the majority of my requests tend to be smutty ones and I wanted to give an option for readers. However, if people dun like it, or want me to do so, I can do a smuttier version as well if need be. Also, this isn’t my best work, so I’m sorry if people don’t like it!

Summary: You’ve been feeling for a while that the campus outcast was getting a raw deal... Should you try and change that?

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 1586

Genre: Fluffily fluffy fluff, with some implied smut, if you squint reeeeaaal hard.

Warnings: Implied/ referenced bullying

“Oh my God… Did you see that?” Your friend was barely hiding her mocking laughter as she stared past your shoulder in disbelief.

“Well obviously not, considering whatever it is is behind me,” you retorted, popping another piece of sandwich into your mouth, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Freakmin just tried to sit with Mi Jin again. When is he gonna get it? Noone’s that dumb!” Frowning, you looked over your shoulder just in time to see Park Jimin turn away from your classmate and head for an empty table, head down and shoulders hunched over his tray as Mi Jin stared after him with a look of incredulous animosity. A pang went through your chest at the sight and you turned away quickly, nibbling anxiously at a piece of crust.

“Can we…maybe…not call him that?” you muttered, not daring to look at your friend, but easily feeling the incredulous gaze on you.

“Why not? It’s not like he cares. He can’t even hear us.”

“Yeah, but I can, and it’s not a very nice thing to call him.”

“What, do you like him or something?”

“N-no! I just don’t think we should stoop to that level.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes, picking up her tray and carrying it over to the cleaning station and dumping her garbage. Setting it on the top, she gave you a quick wave before hurrying away to volleyball practice. You took a deep breath, steeling your nerves so that you couldn’t change your mind before letting your instincts dictate your movements, and grabbed your own tray. Pushing to your feet, you made your way over to the table Jimin had chosen, pausing behind one of the chairs.

“Hi… Jimin, right?” His head jerked up, eyes wide with a mix of fear and nervousness as he stared at you. His fingers clenched around the edges of his tray as he prepared to stand up.

“Y-yeah. I’m sorry, did you want this table? I didn’t think anyone sat here. I can move if yo-“

“No!” Waving a hand dismissively, you grinned at him, setting your own lunch down. “I was wondering if I could sit with you, actually. My friend just left for practice and you looked like you could use some company.” His jaw dropped almost comically as he nodded his head so fast you thought it might fall right off his shoulders. Chuckling, you sat down, shifting your chair close enough so that you could talk comfortably. “I’m Y/N by the way.” Jimin’s cheeks colored and he lowered his eyes, giving a small bow of greeting.

Over the remainder of the lunch hour, the two of you chatted nonstop, Jimin quickly becoming more at ease once he realised that you weren’t there to make fun of him. Surprisingly, you had a lot in common. The same favorite movies, music, books, hobbies… You were like two peas in a pod, and by the time you had to head to class, which it turned out you also shared, you were already laughing and joking like old friends.

The way the other students stopped talking and stared as you and Jimin entered the lecture theatre together made you feel uncomfortable, not used to being the centre of attention. It made you wonder if that was how Jimin felt every day, with all of the other students mocking or ignoring him. You couldn’t let that happen anymore. In that moment, you made your decision: you were going to be Park Jimin’s friend, the other students be damned.

Over the next few weeks, you and Jimin grew to be inseparable. True, it came at a price, your own social standing dropping by a few million points, but the friendship you gained was more than worth it. Every day, he would meet you on the edge of campus and you would link arms and head for your first class of the day, chattering nonstop about the events of the night before. You discovered a couple of days after you met that, though you had somehow failed to notice it, you shared all your classes with Jimin. This meant that the time you could spend together was increased exponentially, and before long even your non-university time was spent in each other’s company.

It was on the 6 month anniversary of your becoming friends that Jimin finally invited you over to his apartment. He had always said that he was too shy to show you where he lived, but at last he had gathered the courage and you couldn’t be happier. Your best friend was finally comfortable enough with you to share his space with you, and you were determined to make it memorable. Slipping into one of your favorite dresses, you tied your hair back neatly and eased your feet into a pair of matching flats before hurrying across campus to the apartment building so many students lived in.

Before long, you were knocking on Jimin’s door, your jaw dropping slightly when it opened to reveal, not the shy, insecure ChimChim you were familiar with, who always dressed in long-sleeved shirts and baggy pants, as though hoping they would hide him from the other students, but a toned, tanned Jimin, whose white tank top and tight jeans left almost nothing to the imagination. This was most definitely not what you had expected. At the same time, he was staring at you with a similar expression. He was used to seeing you in jeans and a tshirt, and suddenly here you were, actually looking like a girl.

Eventually, he realised that he had been staring, blinking rapidly and stepping aside to let you in.

“Sorry, I forgot what time you were coming over. I’ll go get changed,” he muttered shyly, shuffling towards what you assumed must be his bedroom. You hurried inside, closing the door behind you and setting your carrier bag on the table to make sure the cake you had brought was safe.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you teased, bopping him on the arm before he could get too far away, though you were partly simply curious if the muscles were as firm as you thought. “You don’t have to change. You look hot as it is.” He froze, turning slowly to look at you, an expression of shock on his features.

“I…I look hot? Really?” You couldn’t help gaping at him. How could he not know that? Had the treatment he’d gotten from the other students really affected him that much? Sighing, you moved closer so that you were a mere few inches away.

“Very. I dunno how you ended up thinking you need to hide what you look like but trust me,” you looked him up and down deliberately before smiling, “you have nothing at all to hide. Any guy on campus would be jealous to look like that.” The way he blushed at the compliment was adorable, and you let him pull you into a hug, resting his cheek on your shoulder so that his face was buried against your neck.

“Maybe, but I guarantee they’d be even more jealous now,” he whispered, arms tightening slightly. “Any guy would want their arms around you.” Suddenly, his lips were brushing against your skin, gentle kisses being dotted over your neck as one arm moved lower, holding you against him. “You look so beautiful, Y/N. You’re perfect.” You couldn’t help chuckling at the compliment, though the sound died as he pulled you tighter against him, a tiny gasp escaping as you felt something you definitely hadn’t expected. “You think I’m joking? You risk your entire social status to talk to one loser. You do it again by making friends with him. Your friends ditched you and you didn’t even bat an eyelash. I offered to tell people you were just using me and you just got closer. Noone has a heart like that, Y/N. You’re beautiful inside and out and I… I can’t stand it anymore.”

With a sudden, soft whimper, he pulled away, gazing into your eyes for a moment, as though waiting for some kind of refusal. When none came, he carefully moved closer, lips brushing almost imperceptibly against yours. It wasn’t until that moment that you realised just how much you had been wanting him to do that. You didn’t know how long for, but you had wanted to feel his lips on yours. Sighing at the feeling, you slipped your arms around his neck, increasing the pressure of the kiss. As if that was all he needed, his arms lowered slightly further still, one hooking around your upper thighs so that he could lift you. You let out a soft giggle as you wrapped your legs around his waist, his lips curving in a bright smile against yours as he made his way toward his bedroom to lay you on the bed.

The next morning came far too soon, and you woke to your head on Jimin’s chest as he slept peacefully, arms wrapped tightly around your naked torso. You could hardly believe that the shy, frightened person you had seen in the cafeteria was now the strong, confident man you had just spent the night with, but you didn’t regret the ‘change’ for a moment. You only hoped that he could see just how special he was to you, because you didn’t want this to be a one-time thing, though judging by the way he was clinging to you, even in his sleep, you had your doubts that it would be.

[addictedtojohnandsherlock]

Chapter 65

**It’s finally time!!**

(A perfect autumn evening, just at sunset. The garden is full of turning leaves and vibrant flowers. Amber Chandler, licensed celebrant, stands under the trellis with a smile on her face, ready to preside over the ceremony. She has become very well acquainted with John and Sherlock over the last few weeks. She likes to know as much as she can about the people she marries and, as a result, asked them to meet with her six times at regular intervals leading up to the wedding. John had agreed straight away, no doubt expecting such a request. Sherlock had glowered immediately, eyeing her and then John in turn.)

S: Will this be considered premarital counseling?

AC: If you like.

S: (curling his lip in disapproval) I do not believe we are in need of such counseling.

J: (quietly) Sherlock.

AC: (unfazed) Then don’t think of it that way.

S: (cocking a brow) I fail to see its relevance.

AC: Fair enough. I’d really like to get to know you both a little before I bind you together.

(Sherlock looked at John triumphantly and John had face palmed. They had obviously discussed this at length prior to the meeting.)

S: So you can inform us we were not meant to be.

AC: No. (laughing) So I can tailor the ceremony to your specific relationship and personalities. (The suspicious detective narrowed his eyes and studied her intently. She just smirked, already liking this cantankerous character.) It’s not a trick, I promise. If I do say something that seems like counseling, it isn’t going to be anything you don’t already know and you don’t have to listen. You don’t have to care. Fair enough?

S: (still very skeptical) Acceptable.

AC: Great. When are you both free next? Couple days? Afternoon work? And don’t worry. (winking at Sherlock) The ropes don’t chafe.

(It all proceeded from there. Amber learned a great deal about both men in that first conversation and every meeting after also provided a wealth of information. She liked to think the two men learned more about one another too, but never expected it of any couple she married. She truly did not lie when she told Sherlock he didn’t have to care about a word she said.)

(Amber smiles to herself as she looks out at the small crowd of people seated before her. A diverse group to be sure. Friends from the surgery, a handful from John’s army days, and a few of the Yarders. Sally Donovan being one of the most animated, judging by the grin on her face. Sarah, her husband, and their daughter Madeleine are all seated close by, beaming from ear to ear. Billy Wiggins and a small troupe of Sherlock’s homeless network, who blend in quite well with everyone else, are at hand too. 

Amber’s grin broadens as her eyes hover over the guests in the front rows. Each of them holds a special place in John and Sherlock’s hearts. They are the family on which these men depend, whether they admit it or not.)

(Bertrum Smythe, Sherlock’s tailor, a man who has known him since he first moved to London and has loved him like a son from the beginning.

Mrs. Martha Hudson, the matriarch, who essentially adopted Sherlock when he moved into 221B and who did the same with John when he joined the detective. She is secretly credited with bringing them together, leading them in the right direction with her hints and suggestions, both subtle and obvious.

Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock’s older brother and general pain in his ass. While Mycroft certainly takes pleasure in annoying the younger Holmes, he honestly does do it because he worries constantly. He has considered Sherlock his responsibility and not simply his brother since the day their parents died.

Molly Hooper, friend and colleague to both men, and Mycroft’s wife. How such a sweet woman came to know these men so well is still a mystery to Amber, despite the explanations she has received. Molly’s effect on each of them speaks volumes to her quiet strength.

A short laugh slips passed Amber’s lips as her eyes rest on the best men. Standing before her, nervously smiling at one another, are Greg Lestrade and Mike Stamford. Each a long-time friend to one of the grooms and both overjoyed.

Mike stands to Amber’s left. Bursting with excited energy, he can’t stay still and shuffles his feet this way and that, a grin plastered across his face. Greg, on the other hand, stands stalk still to Amber’s right. His eyes are wide, but unseeing. His face is a paper-white mask of panic.)

AC: (whispering) Greg.

(He snaps immediately from his stupor, eyes focusing on her. She leans forward a skosh and motions him over with a quick snap of her chin. He takes a step closer and leans in, an uneasy look on his face.)

AC: What is it? You lose the ring?

G: What? No. (hand settling over his chest with a gentle pat, breast pocket lying beneath) I have it.

AC: Then relax. (She smiles sweetly.) This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.

(A quiet laugh pops from his lips. Her smile broadens and she taps his shoulder lightly.)

AC: There ya go. You don’t even have to do anything.

G: Right. (exhaling slowly) Right.

(Greg steps back again and relaxes his shoulders. Amber huffs a short giggle as the music changes to signal that the ceremony will start soon. Greg’s body stiffens again, brown eyes darting to Amber. She just continues smiling and shakes her head, thoroughly amused.

Jane Eaglen’s “The Dreame” drifts across the garden, elegant stringed instruments augmenting her perfectly clear soprano.

Or scorne, or pity on me take,

I must the true relation make.

I am undone tonight;

Love in a subtle dreame disguised

Hath both my heart and me surprised.

(From her seat in the front row, Molly smiles brightly and looks around wistfully. Her acute examiner’s eyes take in every detail of the scene. The full blooms on the trellis in radiant fall colors, the crimson rose petals scattered throughout the grass, the wade pool with blood orange flowers floating delicately on its waters. Sighing happily, she turns her head toward her husband, intending to kiss his lips lightly, but her brows furrow ever so slightly and head tilts in question when she sees his thoughtful frown. Taking her hand in his, he puts voice to his concerns before she can.)

M: You regret not having this. That we were married in secret.

MH: (smiling at him, love and honesty in her eyes) I regret nothing about that day. Or about you, love.

(Mycroft’s worried expression gives way to adoration and he squeezes her hand. She tips forward to press her lips briefly against his smile and then leans close, their arms touching.)

AC: Will you all please rise?

(Everyone stands and turns to face the isle cutting through the center of the crowd. The music changes again to a recording of Sherlock playing an abbreviated version of a piece he composed for John. The perfect notes swell victoriously and drop down to near silence, telling the very soul of their story with its glory and tragedy.)

(After a full minute, the two grooms appear in the glass doors that lead into the house. The doors flutter open as if by magic and the men step out into the garden, arm in arm. They walk slowly down the short isle, beaming at each of their friends as they pass. Bertie sniffs quietly and brushes a wet eye when Sherlock’s gaze meets his. Mrs. Hudson has been misty since “The Dreame” began and she smiles softly as her boys walk by.

When they reach the front, John and Sherlock take their places in between the best men and unlatch their arms. Everyone has turned and all eyes face Amber. She smiles kindly and begins as the music fades away.)

AC: Please be seated. (The crowd complies. She looks at the four men standing before her.) Not you, I’m afraid. You all have to tough it out.

(Mike chuckles, Greg just tries to breathe, and Sherlock rolls his eyes. John keeps smiling and exhales deeply, letting everything sink in.)

AC: When I first met John and Sherlock, I had certain expectations. I read John’s blog. We all do, whether or not we choose to admit it. (glancing at Mycroft) I like to think I had some idea of their personalities going in, and that first meeting did not prove me wrong.

Sherlock was rude and suspicious and studied me with such intensity that I felt stripped of all secrets and pretenses. Defenseless to the onslaught of deduction that was surely coming. I immediately knew that if I were to hire him for a case, I would receive the nothing but the best work and a speedy conclusion.

John was stern and calm and quick to laugh. Very polite, but with a temper lurking beneath. A good soldier and a good doctor. I immediately knew I would receive only the best care, far better than even my expectations, if I was a his patient.

Now, we all know these two men work well together and they are clearly best friends. The proof of both is in the blog. But what would draw them together into something more? Two men who seem polar opposites. They’ll drive each other mad, I thought. Why aren’t they insane already? It must be the sex.

(The smiles and quiet chuckles in the garden give way to real laughter when Mrs. Hudson, of all people, lets out a burst of jocularity at that. She glances around at the other guests, a hint of pink on her cheeks, but with no other indication of embarrassment.)

Mrs. H: They are quite noisy.

(Everyone laughs heartily. John tucks his chin to his chest and smiles, his cheeks crimson. Sherlock bites his lip to keep from grinning and angles his face to catch a glimpse of his groom.)

M: (in a low mischievous tone) Allow me to sound proof the building, Mrs. Hudson.

(More laughter fills the air. The grooms catch each other’s eye and smile shyly.)

AC: And then something happened. (reigning everyone in again) I almost didn’t notice it. It was the smallest of movements. They were sitting together on a sofa and, while he was talking, without the slightest giveaway, John slowly angled his leg until his knee touched Sherlock’s.

I could see the warmth spiraling from that single point, filling both men with comfort. At that moment, the meeting changed. John and Sherlock both eased back into the sofa and relaxed. Sherlock was still pretty skeptical, but he was willing to listen and talk.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. John’s always keeping the peace, making sure Sherlock behaves himself, (Sherlock lifts his chin and gives her a haughty look) but it’s more than that. John brings Sherlock peace. And Sherlock does the same for John.

The more I met with them, the more I realized that they were both restless and incomplete before they met one another. Neither was happy. Something was missing. After every solved case, after every battle or patient, something was always missing.

And then, one touch, one look changed everything. ‘May I borrow your mobile?’ ... ‘Here, use mine.’

(Mike can’t help but puff up with pride.)

AC: Both minds stopped. Quiet at last. John and Sherlock have both referred to that moment as the beginning. The moment each knew he could find what he’d always been missing. And as time went on, they each began to realize there was more than friendship between them. A thousand looks while their backs were turned, lingering just a little too close for a little too long, and finally...that first kiss.

(Amber pauses. The silence is broken only by quiet sniffling. Molly rivals Mrs. Hudson for the wettest eyes.)

AC: I wish I could say it has all been smooth sailing from that moment on, but it has not. What it has been is life, and one that John and Sherlock would never exchange. One that they are overjoyed. Ecstatic. To live together.

(Sherlock and John meet eyes, both nearly giddy. The detective reaches for his blogger’s hand and squeezes it warm with his fingers. A quiet giggle passes through John’s lips. Sherlock’s silver eyes sparkle at the sound.)

AC: Gentleman, please face each other and join hand. (Sherlock glances at her with a cock of his brow and she smirks.) You’re always one step ahead.

(There are a few giggles as Sherlock faces John fully and accepts John’s hand when he reaches for him. John straightens his shoulders, grinning at his detective. A shiver runs down his spine. His whole body is tingling with anticipation. In mere minutes, Sherlock will be his husband. He will be Sherlock’s husband. He will be Dr. John Holmes Watson.)

J: Sherlock, I’ve been thinking.

(Sherlock narrows his eyes, honing in on his fiance.)

S: John, I will not let you see my vows and it is not because I haven’t yet written them.

J: (pausing) You haven’t written your vows yet?

(The taller man straightens his spine and looks away stubbornly.)

S: I’m not going to write them down. I know what I want to say. (looking at John and pursing his lips) I have thought about it a great deal.

(John blinks slowly and exhales loudly. John Watson Number 10: The ‘What the fuck’ face.)

J: Fine. Forget it. I was actually talking about my name.

S: Your name?

J: Yes, I’d like to change my name once we’re married.

S: To something other than John? No. I do not approve. I will still call you John.

J: Not my first name, you git. Hamish. I want to change Hamish. (he pauses and his tone softens) I want to change it to Holmes.

(Sherlock’s defiant expression melts into one of shock. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he can finally find the words.)

S: John Holmes Watson. You want to take my name?

J: Yes. (He wipes a tear from Sherlock’s cheek and looks into his shining eyes.) It’s ironic, don’t you think? That my middle name already begins with an H.

S: It is. More than you know. (clearing his throat) I intended on changing William to Watson.

J: (huffing a short laugh) Watson Sherlock Scott Holmes?

S: (sighing) I will also alter its position.

J: (laughing and pecking Sherlock’s delicious lips playfully) Sherlock Watson Holmes... I like it.

AC: At this time, our grooms would like to exchange vows before all of you, their family and friends.

(Amber nods to Sherlock. He smiles and looks at John, meeting his deep blue eyes. When he begins to speak, his rich baritone wavers, but quickly evens out without losing any of its sincerity.)

S: John, when I first met you, I thought you were like everyone else. As easy to read as a book with no cover. You moved into the flat. We worked our first case. And you did what no one has done. You surprised me. As I sat in the back of an ambulance, wrapped in that infernal orange blanket, I watched you. I met your eyes and knew at that moment that I must learn everything about this miraculous man called John Watson.

I knew I cared for you almost immediately, but did not realize just how much until you and Sarah were taken during The Blind Banker. It quickly became clear to me that, in spite of myself, my feelings ran deeper than friendship. Much deeper. And I was terrified. I had spent my life ignoring, suppressing, denying my emotions in favor of what I thought was a higher level of existence. One devoid of sentiment and the difficulties that come with it. I tried to push it down, hide my feelings away until they faded completely. But they didn’t fade at all. They grew stronger.

Then that night by the pool... (shaking his head and stepping closer) When I tore off that coat and the Semtex, I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to hold you in my arms and feel our bodies touch over every inch. I wanted so much to tell you everything. Every thought, every feeling, everything I suddenly knew I could never suppress again. (shrugging) But I couldn’t find the words. Sherlock Holmes, who knows all, sees all, who misses nothing, had not the words to express his deepest emotions.

So I hid it from you. I watched you date, sabotaged your relationships, wondered with mind-numbing curiosity when you stopped dating, not daring to hope it was because you felt something for me. It wasn’t until Scandal in  Belgravia that I even knew what to call my feelings, and then I hadn’t the voice. She threw it in our faces again and again, challenging me. But I walked away. I could not bring myself to say the words for fear of failure, or disappointing you...losing you. Even after you confessed your feelings for me, even now, I avoid saying it in the presence of others. So, I say it now. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. (By the third time, every muscle in his body that was tense has relaxed. His face is peaceful and a smile dances across his lips.) 

I love you more than the universe is wide - 100,000 light years side to side. (Stunned, John looks at his groom with surprised eyes. His jaw drops, the corners of his mouth curling.) It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light years thick. It’s 3000 light years wide by the Earth. I know it all now. The universe, our solar system. I memorized it for you, John. I’m still uncertain why this knowledge is so necessary to you, but what is important to you is of the utmost importance to me. (flashing a grin, his brows rising) You, it’s always been you. You keep me right.

You, John Watson, are my sun, my conductor of light, and I will orbit you for all time.

(The garden is dead silent, as if even the wildlife stopped to listen. A tear rolls down John’s cheek and drips off his chin when he smiles up at Sherlock adoringly. A breathless Sherlock watches, quietly marveling at his beautiful John, memorizing every detail of the doctor’s face in this moment.

Amber smiles at the detective and then nods the go-ahead for John. He inhales deeply and swallows hard. Sherlock can tell what he’s thinking as if he were saying it to him. How can I possibly follow that? The detective smiles tenderly and squeezes John’s hands. The doctor meets his eyes. Don’t worry. It will be perfect. John smiles and wets his lips, inhaling deeply once again before he begins.)

J: Sherlock, you amaze me. Although, (he grins mischievously, eyes bright) after our first few words, I might have thought amazingly rude. (Quiet titters float about the garden and even Sherlock cannot help the grin that spreads over his own lips. How different they were then.) And then you said Afghanistan or Iraq, and I was hooked. (John shrugs his shoulders and affects John Watson Number 202: adorable, honest, vulnerable, content.)

You see everything. You know everything about everyone in a single look and I thought, after that first case, that there was absolutely no way you didn’t see right through me. Every look, every movement, every stolen glance. (still grinning, but looking sheepish) I tried to be...subtle about it because I knew I’d never be able to stop and I was afraid to hear your opinion on it. I’d even look at your ass when your back was turned, for Christ sake. (more chuckles, tutting from a teary Mrs. Hudson) But I could never keep my eyes off your lips. And I couldn’t even hope to hide it.

(John pauses and his eyes drop before he can stop them. Both men wet their lips without thinking, looking into the other’s eyes.)

Amazing. In my mind, there was no way you didn’t know and no chance you had any interest. Not in an ordinary, broken army doctor like me. Also something I learned during that first case - that you were married to your work.

So I dated and I denied. If I’m honest, I wasn’t annoyed that people thought we were a couple as much as I was that we weren’t. I wanted so badly to be everything to you, but knew I never would be. As the years passed, so much happened between us and...I gave up. (Sherlock cocks a  brow.) I gave up dating. I wanted you, and only you. I’d grown to love you so completely. And I thought, it’s fine. It’s fine if he doesn’t want me, as long as he’s in my life.

(dipping his chin, embarrassed once again, and raised his eyes to gaze at the taller man) I didn’t know what to do after New Year’s Eve. Our first kiss. I can still feel your lips on mine. It was the first time I dared to think you might feel the same. That maybe I could be more than your best friend.

S: (in his silky baritone) And then, the dinner.

J: (smiling) Yes, dinner. You were prodding me about spending so much time with Mycroft, like you were jealous, and...and I just said it. (His hand raises to cup the detective’s cheek lightly) God, I love you, Sherlock. You give of yourself so fully, so completely. And not just to me. To everyone you care about, whether it’s easy or the hardest thing to do. 

(biting at his lip) It has been hard for us. But every time I’ve been so frightened and empty, you’ve brought me back. You take me in your arms and hold me tightly to your warmth, your life. Just like you did when we met. (John meets Sherlock’s silver eyes and swallows down a sob. Tears pricking at the corners of his own, even as he blinks to hold them back.) I was so alone and you gave me so much. Time and time again. Now, I... (his voice hitches, but he presses on) I will spend my life giving you all I have. Everything I have in my heart, everything you deserve. I’ll hold nothing back. Not anymore. You are a good man. The best man. And I will do my best to be worthy of you..

(A tear falls from John’s sparkling, deep blue eyes. He suddenly feels Sherlock’s hand at his nape, bowing his head, their foreheads pressing together. John closes his eyes and more tears fall. He tries to slow his rapid breaths and steady his heart. Sherlock sighs and then inhales John’s scent deeply, whispering gentle words to him alone.)

S: You are, John. You are.

(Sherlock raises his head and kisses the smaller man’s forehead. They take a step back from one another and lock eyes. Sherlock has never seen John so vulnerable. He shivers, even as John does the same, seeing the same expression on Sherlock’s face. Their hands slip away from necks and cheeks until they find one another again, long and short fingers holding tight. A small smile sparks on Sherlock’s lips. A wide grin plays across John’s in response.

Amber clears her throat and steps closer to the couple.)

AC: Sherlock Holmes, do you take John Watson to be your lawfully wedded husband. To give him your whole heart and keep his for the whole of your lives, and as long as your souls live beyond.

S: I do.

AC: John Watson, do you take Sherlock Holmes to be your lawfully wedded husband. To give him your whole heart and keep his for the whole of your lives, and as long as your souls live beyond.

J: God, yes. I do.

(John raises a brow when Sherlock visibly shivers. The taller man does not break eye contact, nor does he acknowledge that anything unusual happened at all. John’s lips begin to curl, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes, which momentarily lose their focus. He has the oddest feeling of deja vu, as if he and Sherlock have done this before, not once but many times. The words ‘I do’ falling from his lips. A shiver running through Sherlock’s slender body.

The sound of Amber clearing her throat draws John’s attention, his eyes focusing on Sherlock once again. He wears a quizzical expression, a hint of concern in his silver eyes. John’s mouth curves upward in reassurance and comfort. It seems his message is received when Sherlock returns the smile.)

AC: At this time, John and Sherlock have chosen to exchange rings as a symbol of their love and commitment to one another. Greg, Mike, if you please.

(Mike and Greg each step up and place a wedding ring on the small, purple notebook she holds in her hands. She nods at them in turn with a broadening smile at Greg, mouthing ‘All done’ at him. He beams back at her.)

AC: Thank you. (looking to John and Sherlock) Gentlemen, please take these rings.

(Both men pick up a ring and then return gazing at one another. Their bodies are tingling. John actually feels like his lips might be numb. He tips up onto his toes for a second and drops back down again. Sherlock’s brows shoot up and down, and he grins at his groom like a complete idiot.)

AC: Sherlock, if you please.

(Sherlock lifts John’s left hand and begins sliding the textured platinum ring onto his finger as he speaks, his words rising into the air like a prayer.)

S: When I was young, my mother used to tell me that at a very few times in life, if I was lucky, I might meet someone who is exactly right for me. Not because he is perfect, or because I am, (his eyes lift slowly to meet John’s) but because our combined flaws are arranged in a way that allows two separate beings to hinge together. I have, for the first time, found what I can truly love. I have found you.

AC: (looking to the misty-eyed doctor) John, if you please.

(John sniffles quietly and gently raises Sherlock’s left hand. He speaks in a hushed voice as he glides the smooth band of tungsten carbide he revealed to Sherlock only moments ago on his long finger.)

J: You are sunlight falling through trees. You are laughter that breaks through my sadness. You are a cool breeze on a day that is too warm. You are clarity in the midst of confusion. You are all that is good in the world, my world. If love was a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches. And we would be in the center of them all.

(Amber takes a step back and nods. The two men join hands, each noticing as the other’s ring brushes against his skin. Silver and blue meet across a short expanse and the grooms whisper together reverently.)

S & J: With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

AC: (triumphantly) May what has been declared here today last for all time and may no man put asunder. John Holmes Watson, Sherlock Scott Watson Holmes... You. Are. Married.

(Spontaneous applause fills the garden and echoes over the meadows. Amber leans in and taps Sherlock’s arm, catching the hyper-observant man’s attention immediately.)

AC: Kiss your husband.

(Sherlock doesn’t need to be told twice. Without even blinking, he drops John’s hands and closes the distance between them, pressing his body solidly against the shorter man and enveloping him in his long arms. Sherlock’s lips cover John’s swiftly. He takes full advantage of his height, and John’s surprise, tipping his new husband’s head back and twisting his tongue around John’s. In spite of himself, the doctor tilts his head back even more and dances his own tongue along Sherlock’s, reveling in the way they fit perfectly.

The garden erupts in applause again, along with cat calls and whistles led by Greg and Wiggins. It does not let up when their lips part. They look into one another’s wide eyes, warm breath against their parted lips, everyone else falls away.)

(Breathless and a little dizzy, John senses Sherlock’s thumb delicately brushing away a tear he was unaware he had shed. The corners of his mouth curl.)

S: (whispering) Don’t cry...husband. (sighing and cupping John’s face in his big hands) I have waited to call you husband for so long.

J: (hands on that slim waist) Wait no longer. Husband.

(Grins break over both of their faces and they kiss again. Chaste and quicker this time, but with no less passion.

Amber holds up her arms to quiet everyone as she speaks loudly.)

AC: (playfully) All right, all right. We still have a few things to tend to, so save it. (to the crowd) It is now my honor and privilege to congratulate Sherlock and John, husbands at last.

(Another cheer rises up. Mrs. Hudson and Bertie rush forward, each embracing one of the men in a bone crushing hug. They quickly swap places before Sherlock or John can escape and only let the other guests have a go when they are satisfied that all the stuffing has been squeezed from both men.

The rest of the crowd gathers around, bestowing more hugs and claps on the back. Words of congratulations and well wishes float through the air and, although John and Sherlock hear them all, they aren’t entirely focused on the people around them. Their eyes constantly come back to one another, full of excitement each time. That is, until about ten minutes have passed and John notices the strain on Sherlock’s face. He steps through the crowd to his husband and turns to them all, beaming from ear to ear.)

J: Why don’t we all go through the trellis to the reception. Come on, everyone.

MS: Capitol idea, John! Come. Let’s all take our seats and start the celebration. Cake to eat, speeches to give. Eh, Greg?

(Everyone laughs at Greg’s nervous nod, heading for the trellis. John moves to the side and pulls Sherlock over with him. The man looks restless, brimming with anxiety. John slowly strokes his thumb over the back of Sherlock’s hand.)

S: How long must we wait before making them all leave?

J: Just calm down, babe. It’s only a wedding reception and all these people are our friends.

S: How long do they typically last?

J: Um...four or five hours, maybe.

(Sherlock stares at John, his mouth opening and closing without a sound. John just grins and gives him that look that says ‘you really are so precious’.)

S: (incredulous and seething) Five hours?? Intolerable.

J: Okay, okay.

(He presses a gentle kiss to Sherlock’s lips. It’s a longer kiss than John might normally do in the presence of others, but the calming effect of his nibbles is more on his mind than embarrassment over public displays of affection.

He can feel the tension melting out of his husband’s muscles the longer he plays with his lips. A hand resting instinctively on Sherlock’s waist gives him a little squeeze. John opens his eyes as he pulls away, still feeling Sherlock’s warm breath on his mouth.)

J: You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you the whole time. (Sherlock frowns with those delectably full lips and John sighs.) I promise we’ll stay in for a whole week if you want. And turn away anyone who comes to visit.

S: Anyone?

J: Anyone.

(Sherlock’s hands glide up and down John’s back. His eyes momentarily drop to John’s lips hungrily and then rise up again innocently.)

S: And if I want to spend it the week in our bedroom?

J: (laughing) Then that is where we will be.

S: Promise?

J: Yes, I promise.

(Sherlock studies him for a moment in mock suspicion and then kisses him softly.)

S: (smiling against his lips) Shall we then? It is our reception, after all.

(John returns the kiss and leads his new husband under the trellis into the applause of their friends patiently waiting on the other side.)

[emperorxeroki]

umieli, 5? thanks :3

A/N: I’m sorry for this long delay.The requests have been sitting in my inbox for the longest time because I waseither too lazy/ not motivated or I was too busy with my college life. I hopeyou see this Anon!

Paring:EliUmi

“Wait aminute. Are you jealous?”

“So…explainto me how this happened again?” Umi’s eyebrows twitched while a child-like Eliclutched onto her leg in confusion. Nozomi and Nico gave each other a concernedlook, neither wanting to fess up or lie to their friend of the events leadingto Eli becoming a three-year old.

“Well?”The pair jumped at the dangerous tone and the stern look they received. Despitebeing younger than them, Nozomi and Nico knew how fatal an attack from Umi canbe whether it was with magic or physically. And to make matters worse, they hadturned their only shield from that wrath into a child.

“Take onefor the team Nicocchi.” Nozomi lightly pushed the shorter girl closer to Umiand hid behind her small body.

“What?!Why me?! This all started because of you!” Nico turned around and glared atNozomi. “If you hadn’t pulled Eli in front of the spell, this wouldn’t havehappened!”

“So, youwere targeting me.” Nozomi feigned being hurt. “I can’t believe you would dothat. Even after you said that you love me. Was it all a lie?”

“Nozomi!”Nico knew well were this was going. “You damned titty monster don’t try to getout of this and leave me behind to the demon!”

“D-don’tfight! Fighting means you hate each other.” Eli stood between the two. “Papasaid to always apologize to each other and make up…so…don’t hate each other…”

Tears werethreatening to spill from Eli’s eyes. Nico and Nozomi immediately stopped andbaffled by the new side of Eli they have never seen.

“I-it’snot like I hate her or anything…” Nico muttered under her breath. A light shadeof pink colored her cheeks.

“Don’tworry Elichi, Nicocchi and I were just messing with each other.” Nozomi bentdown to wipe away the small tears. “Don’t cry okay?”

A sighleft Umi’s lips. “I believe I still deserve an explanation.”

“Don’tworry, we’ll find a way to fix your girlfriend Umi-chan. For the time beinglook after her for us.” Nozomi grabbed Nico by the hand and sprinted off. “Let’sgo Nicocchi.”

“Wait! Inever said-” The two were already gone before she could finish her sentence.

The firstyears eyed the small blonde who was on the floor coloring without a worry inthe world. Then they all looked back at Umi who seemed to be puzzled at thereason why they were giving her that look.

“So, whatdid those two do this time? Didn’t they learn from their last mistake afterturning each other into animals?” Maki crossed her arms and sat back in herchair.

“I’m surethey didn’t mean to get Eli-chan caught in between it…” Hanayo meekly tried todefend the two upperclassmen.

“…” Rinkept looking at Eli in silence.

“What’swrong Rin?” Umi wondered what was going through the other’s mind.

“If thisthis how Eli-chan looks like when she’s little, does that mean if Umi-chan andEli-chan have a baby together she would look like this?” Maki and Hanayo weresurprised by how bold the statement came out of the ginger’s mouth. Then again,it was Rin.

“E-excuseme?!” Umi’s cheeks instantly went up in flmaes.

“UMI-CHANAND ELI-CHAN HAVE A CHILD?!” Two individuals immediately barged through thedoors almost breaking it. Umi had wished it was just a strong wind, but sadly,her two childhood friends were more than she could handle right now. “UMI-CHAN,SINCE WHEN DID YOU AND ELI-CHAN DID ‘IT’?!”

“ENOUGH!”Umi wanted to crawl into a hole. She was tired; too tired to deal with thismess she didn’t cause. In the back of her mind she was planning the murder oftwo certain upperclassmen in very vivid details. “We haven’t done anythingshameless like that!”

“Hehe, weknow, we just wanted to tease you Umi-chan.” Honoka smiled playfully. Annoyed,Umi pulled on the other’s cheeks, earning a cry of help from Honoka to Kotorito save her from their childhood friend.

Eli tiltedher head in confusion through all the ruckus. Looking back at her drawing shesmiled to herself and stood up carrying the piece of to the stressed Umi.“Look, I drew this for you.” Touched by the little blonde’s gesture, Umi lookedat the drawing along with the others who were hovering above her shoulders.

“What theheck is it?” Maki bluntly commented at what she thought to be blobs of blue andyellow.

“Maki-chan,that’s mean nya.” Rin nudged the taller girl.

“What? Youtell me what it is then.” The red-head grumbled.

“It’sbunnies.” Eli responded. “The yellow one is me and the blue one is Umi.”

Umi smiledat the child version of her girlfriend. Even when in grown up, Eli hadn’t losther touch of innocence…sort of. But she had to admit, the smile of Eli’s childself was sometimes too bright for her to look at. It kind of reminded Umi ofwhen she first met Rin and Hanayo.

“She woulddefinitely be a cute daughter Umi-chan.” Kotori cooed. However, at this point,Umi was no longer listening to their teasing nonsense.

“I don’twant to be Umi’s daughter! I going to marry Umi!” Eli puffed out her cheekobviously showing she was upset. Everyone found it to be too adorable, yetlaughable at the same time because they couldn’t take her child form seriously.On the brink of tears, Eli latched onto Umi’s waist and refused to let go whilehiding her face from the other. Umi let out a chuckle and gently caressed Eli’shead.

“We bettercall the cops on Umi then.” Nico jokingly said while entering the room with agrin. She immediately regretted it when she received a glare from the saidperson.

“Well?Have you found a way to get her back?” The blue haired girl sternly asked theshorter girl.

“Don’tworry Umi-chan. The spell will only last for a couple more hours. But since shewon’t leave your side, you get to take her back with you to your dorm room.Just make sure to not do anything funny.”

“I won’t!”Anger and embarrassment colored Umi’s cheeks when the two suggested she woulddo such things to Eli when she was in such a state. “And don’t think I’llforget the punishment you two deserve for this!”

Umipinched the bridge of her nose and closed her textbooks. She had completelyforgotten that she had a test for her Potions class tomorrow and decided to dosome last-minute review to freshen up her mind. They had already had dinner andtaken a bath together. The thought of taking one with Eli when she’s back to normaldid make her blush for a good while though.

“Umi…” Atiny yawn escaped from Eli as she hugged the stuff bunny that was, ironically,given to Umi from Eli.

“I’msorry, are you tired Eli? I can turn off the lights and you can go to sleepfirst.”

“I want tosleep with you…” The words came out in a small mumble, almost like a plea whichmade it even harder for Umi to resist. Closing her textbooks, Umi decided tocall it a night and went to get ready for bed. Eli slipped into the covers withthe stuffed animal and smiled at the other. However, once the lights went out,it was like the girl completely changed. Immediately, Eli hid under the covers,terrified as if something was going to eat her alive.

“Eli? Areyou okay?” Umi had completely forgot about Eli’s fear of the dark and rushed tothe bed where the other was. Peeking out of the covers, Eli pulled on Umi’spajamas, gesturing the other to get in bed with her.

“You won’tleave me right Umi?” The older girl, for now at least, was taken aback from thequestion. Umi gave Eli a gentle smile and got in bed, pulling the other closeto her.

“No.Never.” Before she realized it herself, Umi was softly stroking the blonde’shair, carefully lulling the other to sleep. “I promise you Eli.” It wasn’t longbefore sleep took over Umi too.

xXx

The nextmorning, Umi felt a heavy weight laying on her chest. It wasn’t uncomfortable,but it was different from what she had felt last night. Opening her eyes, citrinecolored irises squinted at the ceiling and blinked to focus their surroundings.She slightly lifted her head and found Eli sleeping on top of her back to hernormal age and size, however, she was completely naked.  

Eli mumbled in her sleep and nuzzled more intoUmi’s warmth. A blush crept across Umi’s face when she realized this is thefirst time they have woken up together like this. Shameless thoughts enteredher mind as she tried to control her heated face. A stifled giggled escapedfrom Eli making the other realized that the blonde was awake the whole time.

“E-Eli?”

“Umi is sowarm~.” The older pulled Umi closer and took in her scent. “I want to stay likethis forever.”

“Eliplease get off me…” The blue haired girl wanted to burry herself in a hole. Shecould feel Eli’s chest pressing against hers and was having wild thoughts ofwhat could happen.

“Do youhate it?” Eli pouted. “Or do you like younger girls? You were fine with me likethis when I had the body of a child.

“That’snot-” The comfortable weight lifted off her chest leaving an empty feeling as areplacement. Her girlfriend sat at the edge of the bed wrapped up in the bedsheet and crossed her arms. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” It was aridiculous question, there was no way Eli would be jealous over such a trivialthing. It’s not like she was with another girl; she was with Eli the wholetime.

“I’m sureyou found my younger self to be much cuter. In fact-”

“Mygirlfriend is cute regardless of what age and size she is. But I prefer you tobe back to normal because I can’t do…d-do couple things…with you when you’re athree-year-old…” Eli was stunned by Umi’s confession. It wasn’t everyday hergirlfriend would admit to liking the lovey-dovey things couples do.

“Really?”Eli look back at her red-faced girlfriend.

“Don’tmake me repeat myself twice.” Amber irises averted away from Eli’s eyes. “Andplease put some clothes on.”

“I loveyou Umi.” Eli brought her hand to Umi’s chin and gently tilted her chin up. Itwas hard to resist such a cute face.

“Justhurry up already…” Umi’s face was glowing brighter by the second. She couldhear her heart pound against her chest in her ears, but she didn’t want to turnaway.

“Are yousaying you don’t-” Eli’s sentence was cut off by a kiss from the younger girl,only to quickly end when Umi pulled away.

“How muchlonger are you going to stay naked? I don’t want you to catch a cold.” Umi bither lip to stop herself from kissing Eli again.

“One moretime.” Eli pleaded and pushed Umi back onto the bed.

“We’ll belate for class Eli!”

“Do youwant to make a little me instead?”

“THAT’SSHAMELESS!”

[jungblue]

I just wanted to let you know how much I adore Loving Him, Loving Her. It's beautifully written and keeps the reader on the edge of their seat throughout each sentence. You're very talented!

omg this was so sweet!! thank you! god, i really need to work more on pt.2 some more… and i feel bad that it’s been months since pt.1, so if you or anyone is interested i’ll post a couple k of pt.2 under the cut!! honestly it’s been months so who knows if anyone’s still interested in the story but if you are here’s a very rough draft of about 2k 

It was the shrill ring of your alarm that woke you up. You groaned in annoyance at the incessant noise, completely confused as to why it was going off in the first place. It was summer right? With your eyes still sealed tightly shut, you tried to reach forward so you could begin blindly searching for the whereabouts of your phone, but your movements were halted by something grappling to your waist.

“What the hell?” You said in a scratchy and sleep-deprived whisper.

You opened your eyes, rubbing at them to try and get rid of the puffiness so you could see what was going on, but when you looked down to see what the constraint against your waist was, you froze.

Hands.

Hands so big, with fingers so long, that they could only belong to one person; Taehyung. They were clasped around your body, and after a couple seconds of wild bewilderment running through your mind, you finally remembered why.

You had sex with your fuckboy of a best friend that you just so happened to really like — great.

A continuous mantra of idiot, idiot, idiot, ran through your head as you reached for your still ringing phone on the nightstand. You dismissed the alarm, but not before you read the memo that you had at some point set last night to go off at seven a.m. — well at least you made one smart decision last night.

The memo read ‘get home’, and you quickly remembered how you weren’t supposed to be here in the first place, and that your parents were going kill you if you didn’t get home in time… But that somehow wasn’t what was weighing most heavily on your mind.

You could feel the press of Taehyung’s forehead against the center of your back, and you wished more than anything that the two of you could just stay like this. You tried to remain still, fearing that any tiny movement would wake him, but you decided after about a minute or so that you just wanted to look at him before you shattered this small dream that you and Taehyung had created — or at least you had.

Your heart hammered inside of your chest as you slowly turned over in his arms. He buried his face into your chest at the change in position, and you hate the slight twinge that it made flutter through your heart. Dammit, how can someone be so cute when all they’re doing is sleeping?

You hesitantly lowered yourself down the bed until the two of you were finally face to face. His mouth was parted slightly, and it pushes the tiniest of smiles to your lips. His hair was messy, and you can’t help yourself from reaching out and caressing the darkly-colored strands.

“Why’d you let me do it, jerk?” You whispered into his chin, regret seeping from your voice.

But then you reminded yourself that it was probably because he didn’t know how you felt, since you’ve never actually told him, idiot. And that was of course one possibility, but there were also several others. Maybe he did actually know how you felt, and decided to go along with it just for his own selfish agenda. That was definitely another route this entire situation could take, but you can’t help but think that Taehyung wouldn’t do something like that. After all, he was already holding himself back for the sake of your friendship together, so it’s hard to believe that he would still go through with sleeping with you if he knew your true feelings for him.

But regardless you didn’t blame Taehyung for any of this. You were the one who insinuated that you wanted to come up here with him last night, you were the one who agreed to follow him up those stairs, and you were the one that gave into your feelings. You knew exactly what you were doing… and now here you were, dealing with the consequences.

You wondered how he was going to act once you woke him up. Was he going to be the same old Taehyung, or maybe for once he wouldn’t know how to handle the situation either. And in all honesty, even though it was the more difficult road, you would rather have the latter, because the idea of having him act as if nothing had changed between the two of you at all, that would most definitely hurt worse.

You took in a shallow and ragged breath, the anxiety of what was about to happen almost paralyzing. Please, please, please feel something… anything, you thought inside of your head as you placed your hand on his bare shoulder. Your nails curled into his skin as you tried to work up the courage to wake him up, but it was like you just couldn’t bring yourself to move. Maybe you would just give it a few more minutes so you could try and calm your nerves —  or at least that’s what you would’ve liked to do if not for the second wave of shrill rings that suddenly started to flow from your phone.

“Fucking snooze.” You cursed yourself for pressing the wrong button before quickly turning back to the nightstand to silence the alarm.

Great, now you were even more on edge than before.

Once the room returned to its previously quiet state, you let out a frustrated sigh — but then you suddenly felt something.

Every bone and breath in your entire body instantly halted when you felt the untangling of Taehyung’s arms from around your waist, and the groan-mixed yawn that signaled he was no longer asleep.

“Shit, shit, shit,” You whispered to yourself in a complete panic as you turned to face him. He was rubbing his face, and he still hadn’t opened his eyes yet. Should you say something before he looked at you, or maybe you should just —

“Y/N”

Crap.

Your eyes cautiously slithered upwards until they locked with his. His expression seemed calm, the complete opposite of your frazzled state, and that worried you.

“Hey…” You whispered back, and you could feel the hesitation in your voice, so there was no doubt that Taehyung would pick up on it.

“What’s wrong?” He quickly asked as expected, bringing one hand down onto the side of your hip, making you stiffen.

“N-nothing, I just…” You stuttered, “I-I need to get home before my parents find out I left, remember?”

That wasn’t what was wrong at all, but what else were you going to say? I like you a lot, and even though we’re really good friends, and I know you don’t date, I want to be with you? … Well in all honesty that was probably exactly what you should say, just to get everything out on the table, but you just weren’t ready for that yet.

“Oh shit, you’re right.” He said quickly, jumping up from his position on the bed to immediately start pulling his clothes back on.

You slid out of the bed as well, pulling the length of Taehyung’s shirt down as far as you could past your thighs so you could bend over and pick up your clothes. You were about to make your way to the bathroom that was in his room so you could change, but then he suddenly spoke.

“You’re gonna get shy on me now, babe?” He asked, and you don’t even have to turn to see the smirk lining his lips.

Same old Taehyung, you thought to yourself somberly as you tried to push away the sting pricking at the back of your eyes. You didn’t reply, and instead continued to make your way to the bathroom, but he was quick to catch up to you before you could shut the door.   

“Hey, hey, hey,” He said as he jogged towards you, and then suddenly one of his hands was cupping the side of your face and the other was on the door. He was standing right in front of you, and finally you got something glinting off of his eyes other than neutrality; concern. “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to make you feel weird with that… I just — It’s just that I can see how uncomfortable you are, and I hate that I’m the one that’s making you feel that way. That’s seriously the last thing I ever wanna make anyone feel, but especially you. I’m sorry. I just wanted to like lighten the mood to make you feel better, because clearly I fucked up.”

You could see just how guilty he felt, and that wasn’t what you wanted at all. Taehyung was just trying to help you in the only way that he knows how, by being himself, by trying to make you laugh, by just… Being Taehyung. So how could you possibly be upset with him for trying to make you feel comfortable when you looked like you were anything but?

“N-no, Tae, that’s not what’s wrong,” You said quickly to reassure him. “It’s just that I’ve obviously never woken up to you in this… context, so I guess I don’t really know how to act, and I didn’t know how you were going to act, so it just made me really nervous.”

That was the simple version of how you felt, but for right now it was good enough just to make sure that Taehyung knew you were okay.

“That’s good. I just really wanted to make sure that you were okay. I didn’t know if I did anything wrong last night when we were…” He trailed off, sparing the details that were now playing on a loop inside of your mind.

“No, I promise you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m fine,” You said with a hint of a forced smile, but if Taehyung noticed he didn’t say anything. “Now if you’ll excuse me, so I can get dressed and not be grounded for my entire last year of high school.”

“You really aren’t gonna change in front of me?” He said with a look of disbelief, and it actually makes you laugh. “Was I not good enough? Because let me just say that you were everything I imagined and more—” You didn’t even hear the rest of what he had to say because you were practically burning up on the inside while also dying of laughter as you shut the door on him.

—-

The drive back to your house was relatively quiet, but not exactly uncomfortable. You both made small talk about the things that had happened at the party before the two of you had gone upstairs together. It actually felt kind of nice, just listening to the low hum of the radio as the landscape changed from open lakes and trees, to suburban neighborhoods, little dialogue being exchanged as it happened.

Eventually the car came to a stop. Taehyung parked one street over from your house. You were feeling really nervous about going back. You hadn’t gotten any texts from your parents but maybe that was just so they could ambush you at the house with lectures once you finally came home.

“Uhm, thanks for the ride, Tae. I guess I’ll head back now.” You already had your fingers locked around the door handle when something suddenly caught your wrist.

“Wait, Y/N,” Taehyung loosened his grip, letting his hand fall onto the middle console once he knew you were going to stay. “I really don’t wanna seem annoying or pushy, but… Are you sure you’re okay? You’re just being really quiet and you seem so… distant.”

You bit your lip at the accusation, mind fighting with wanting to tell him how you felt, or just flat out ignoring the situation completely. Both were going to end in damages, but only one of them required immediate conflict, and that just wasn’t something you wanted to deal right now.

“Taehyung, I said—”

“You’re fine, sure. Y/N, look if you want—” He cuts himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration before continuing in a much softer tone. “All I’m saying is that if you want to talk about what happened with us last night, then please just tell me. I get that I seem like that fuck n’ leave type of guy, but you know me better than that. You know that if you want to talk, I will sit here and have this talk with you, but I can’t if you keep saying you’re fine when I know you’re not.”

You were actually at a loss of words after that. You’d never seen Taehyung act like that before, and it wasn’t that he was being mean or anything, but he just sincerely wanted the truth when you clearly weren’t giving it to him. And sure, you definitely weren’t ready to give him the full truth of why you were acting the way you were, but maybe talking it through with him could actually help.

It was pure silence for a couple of agonizing seconds before you finally responded, head tilted down, voice quiet. “So… You’ll talk about last night with me? Like, no joking around, you being a hundred percent serious?”

“Hey, look at me,” Taehyung whispered, gently grabbing your chin so that you’d face him. “Of course I’ll be serious. I hate seeing you this way. It’s like you’re scared to talk to me or something and I honestly can’t stand that. I need to know what’s wrong so I can try and fix it. You’re my best friend. How could I not be serious when you’re this upset?”

[iminhellxxx]

Life Update February 2019

So, I just wanna vent real quick because I’m going though kind of a lot right now, and everything is just overwhelming and stressing me out. You know that feeling when you want to cry so bad but you hold it in because you also just don’t want to cry and make everything worse. But anyways, this is what I initially made this account for, because I feel like I need a place to be all the things I feel I “can’t” be. Sometimes people follow you for your Alfred coffee posts, and sometimes they follow you for your depression posts, but usually people eventually leave when they find out that I have this other side, I’m like a million people in one, and I can be both people, so I don’t really know who’s real that’s why I don’t really respond to messages or anything. But anyways, this is just for me, I use Instagram as a diary and I’ve had friends unfollow me because I’d post crying pictures so I try to private a lot of stuff but in reality, I really don’t post things for likes, (not that people like my stuff anyways. People will literally send me messages telling me they like my posts in hopes of a possible nude in return, instead of actually “liking” my post and double tapping. It makes me sick.) So sometimes I archive things and just bring them out later because I’m not here for likes, I just like to document what’s going on, I have little “eras” on my page where I go back and I can remember when I felt what, or what I was feeling or “I was sick here” or “this was my manic depression era” and instagram just helps me because it has the dates for when I need to try to figure myself out. So I made this page, and then I actually got a literal handful or less of followers and I got scared to post stuff so I’m just going to go ahead now and vent myself an update on my life because I’m feeling lost at this point and I want to see if it gets better someday. So around December 2018, I put all of my band tees and black clothes in a bag and I watched makeup tutorials and started wearing girly things, and more pastel colors, and pink. (I have always been girly but also really dark and the complete opposite of girly, I just go by how I’m feeling. For example, in hs I liked pink and black, and then for a good four-ish year’s I absolutely HATED the color pink, and I liked blue, now I like baby pink. So it’s not like I’m not being myself, it’s just that I’m being another part of myself, and I usually go to the less toxic version of myself.) anyway, I think out of it my mom slightly likes me more, or hates me less. I think Lando likes it more because when we met I was very girly and would send him pics in Victoria’s Secret nighties and it was around the time I was transitioning into basically a twelve year old goth boy. Not that that’s not cute, it’s just I was kind of messy and careless and more like a dude and I think he’s treated me better since I put on a fucking dress. So I did this for a few reasons. One being him, because he’s said so much in the past that made me feel insecure about myself to the point where it gives me anxiety if I see him, because I want to be “perfect” to him, but all I see in my sick mind is self hate and when you love someone, I think they’re supposed to make you feel like you’re “perfect” to them so you stop caring about how you feel about what you see in the mirror, because beauty comes from the inside and especially people who suffer from extreme BDD like I do, you can never really trust the distorted reflections you see of yourself, so feeling loved and beautiful to him was what I was hoping would save me from that issue. And then my mom obviously, doesn’t like my music taste or the way I dress in black band tees and men’s clothes so I just wanted some peace for the winter being home. Also, I did it because I felt it’s what was best for me mentally. I felt like it was time to pretend I was happy and it worked for a while, everything was a little brighter, even if it was just my outfits, which sometimes honestly, if I’m not wearing black, like if I’m wearing pink I feel more like I’m playing dress up or like the Easter bunny, but I’m trying to be comfortable in colors, it’s something I’m working on. So that’s that. Also what’s really affecting my life right now are my health problems. So in the past, I was born premature with a heart murmur and then I was kept out of sunlight as a toddler so I was really pale. I was okay as a kid, and then I suffered childhood obesity because my parents were gamblers and my mom never made homemade meals, so it was always fast food, and they’d leave my brother and I home with large pizzas and burgers and fries and I would be so depressed that I would eat all of it, and then also eat some of my brother’s pizza on top of all my food and it makes me sick to just think about it. I had attempted to go vegetarian two times at that time. My mother completely disagreed with it and had anger management bipolar issues, so she would say things like “I’m going to fucking shove McChicken nuggets down your throat” and just mean, unsupportive things like that. So when I eventually did go vegetarian at 7, I felt more like I was “lucky” and grateful and should kiss the ground my parents walked on for “letting” me go vegetarian, that I didn’t ever want to make it a bother to them. So I wasn’t eating meat anymore, but I was still eating really bad because i didn’t want to feel like a burden, I wanted to show them that they wouldn’t regret it, so I was still eating the fast foods, processed foods, I just wasn’t eating the stuff with meat, so like at Taco Bell, I would get like everything off the menu that didn’t have meat. So when I turned 18 I stopped eating fast food, cut it out completely and started cooking for myself and dropped about 70 pounds in about 6 months, it happened so fast I remember, too fast, that it fucked with my head and depressed the shit out of me because it was like a rebirth. Getting to do things you couldn’t do before, wear things that wouldn’t fit before. My grandma all of a sudden “loved me” and I became the favorite, when she used to favor my brother. So I was healthy up until then, but then there was like a plateau. I wasn’t really losing anymore, In fact, if I wanted to enjoy things or reintroduce pastries back into my life, I would gain and my mother would call me names and “fat shame” me even though I was healthy now, no thanks to the way she raised me. What was in it for her this time is that she could “show me off” to her sickly competitive and wealthy family. So I think that’s when life gave birth to my eating disorder. This is where it all started. I wasn’t being healthy anymore, I was “skipping dinner to wake up thinner,” and c/s’ing my food and just restricting all together. I had gotten so good at my illness, I learned every trick in the book, and had my safe foods and to this day the pro ana site has been like my bible. If I’m unsure of a certain food or need advice, I go to that site and it’s always there. I do my homework on everything, grocery shopping is a long process because I’m always comparing labels and I’m just so fucked up in my head, but back then it was a high because my mom would call me “pretty” but it’s fucked up because I was actually dying and taking 20 laxative pills a day, and always saying I was “sick” which didn’t mean a cold or the flu, but it was just harder to explain the sickness in my head and the cramps I would actually put myself through to be “empty.” Now I can’t look at a laxative pill without wanting to throw up. I was excessively abusing laxatives, mixing them, having rituals, I would take 10 pills in the morning with a bottle of magnesium citrate right after like a “water back” and then I would do the same thing at night, every day. I was miserable but I was sickly and since I’m being honest here, I liked playing Russian roulette with my life, I liked wasting away because let’s face it, I wanted to die anyway. I was miserable and I remember being in a public restroom right now topless and bent over the toilet trying to vomit out the pills because I had excruciating bad cramps that day and a woman walked in on me somehow, I must’ve been too sick to lock the door and I remember just feeling so ashamed. So then the suicide attempt that’s too long of a story, but I was rushed to emergency, they saved my liver and threw me into the psych ward and I was smart about eating because I wanted to get out, so I would just hide my food and spread it out and wouldn’t open my lid all the way so they couldn’t see that I tossed the bread and just ate most of my vegan pattie. They are watching your every move, so I played perfect and sane because I wanted to get out in time for a Manson concert. Then I get out and Lando and I exchange numbers at the concert, we’d met July of that year, and it was October now, so that’s when I found my second rebirth. Leaving the psych ward and falling in love with someone who gave me life, at a time I was so dead inside that I tried to kill myself on the outside. Since then it’s been a roller coaster of emotions and eras with us, but ultimately he brings out the best and worst in me. I survived manic depression when I tried to leave him, but I also survived my eating disorder because I just wanted to be normal for him so he wouldn’t be embarrassed of me when we went to restaurants. So I’d say I’ve been pretty normal with eating since then, but now I am suffering from other things. Even though I don’t abusive laxatives to that extreme anymore, I have severe digestion issues now and hashimotos and I’ve been trying to deal with that but it’s been bringing back BDD because my body is always changing now and it’s hard to maintain my healthy self because I’m constantly bloated and it’s painful and i would have to extreme exercise just to bring down the bloat until the next day. I would literally hike Culver City stairs and then walk down La Cienega and then up to Sunset and make my way to Runyon canyon, hike that two ways, then walk to the train and take stairs and gym at night for an hour, like my feet are SO bad. It was exhausting and I was depressed. So now I’m just trying to beat the thyroid and digestion issues, it’s really hard, but I also feel like because I’m not happy right now, depression is slowly coming back. Orlando is taking some time to get his life back on track and by doing that, he disappeared from my life again. I know I should be using the time to get my own life back on track but instead, depression is coming back, I stopped wearing colors and bronzing the shit out of my face, so I’m just pale and dark and putting blue into my hair and I’m just feeling down again. But I feel more like me when I’m pale and dress like a “guy.” Not that I don’t love my designers but I also love my bands. I’m just a Barney’s and Hot Topic girl, there’s no in between. Anyways, I want to be good for him, but I’m also feeling very depressed again, very alone, very ptsd. I just feel like every time he leaves, the life in me leaves with him and my body my shell is just pale and lifeless and layered in black clothing because that’s what I feel safest in. But with him, I feel like I can potentially be my best self, I just kind of hoped that he would love me enough to help me stand again and everything else would fall into place again because he’d make me feel like a person, but without him I don’t feel like a person, I feel like an illness. I pretty feel like I cheated death. I took a bottle of pills and was rushed to emergency and they saved my body to breathe again, and they thought they saved my life, but In all reality, I was already dead inside, and it had been too late for too very long. So he put life into me and when he takes it, I have nothing again. I know it sounds fucked up, and it is, and I can’t change it. He’s also the last person I let so close to me before I developed a severe “social anxiety” which for me is just more like “I’ve been fucked with too many times so I just want to keep to myself and I put up walls sometimes even with the people I love, and I wish I could be a better friend but I’m just not emotionally okay right now.” So now it’s just me and my head and eating habits are coming back and I feel like, honestly for the first time in a very long time, I’ve been thinking about wanting to die again. And deep down, I know I really don’t want to, but inside I’m just so tired of this spinning wheel of deja vu, I feel like there’s just no way out once you fall in, you’re here forever. And trust me, I’ve tried to reply to messages and stuff, but people taught me that the world is trash, no one really cares about you. If I message back and say that I’m sick, they’ll disregard my thoughts, hobbies and opinions, to say perverted things and ask for nudes. So no, I don’t miss “chatting” with you because I actually liked you as a person, but you showed me that you don’t care about who I am as a person, you just miss sexting me. This applies to so many people, honestly, I just don’t open my messages anymore. So yeah, that’s almost all that’s going on right now, I’m dealing with serious health issues, BDD, depression, loneliness...and I know I do have my like one or two friends since hs who know I love them with all of my heart and want to be there for them but also don’t want to be there as a sick person so my mental illnesses isolate me. And I just want to be okay and get things done so that when Orlando comes back, if he comes back, we are both good and could move forward together because I’m hopelessly in love him and I know that I will never love anybody like that again, it’s just a gut feeling in my heart I know he’s the one for me. And I know a lot of sweet guys get mad at me for not giving them a chance to be in my life and stuff but it’s not my fault it’s just a feeling from the heart, because I think everyone is handsome and beautiful and I constantly think to myself “oh he’s cute, or she’s cute, I could see myself living with that person” but what sets Lando apart is that he’s the only man that I could never see myself living WITHOUT. And I’m just scared of losing him, because I wouldn’t have motivation to breathe without him in my life. He’s my happiness, he’s my life...my glow, my color, my everything. I miss him. I miss me.