#i usually listen to the OG version. it just has a different vibe to the Mikoto cover | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

erigold13261 · 1 year ago

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Hi Eri! Here is another song ask! Pls take your time and ignore this one if it’s upsetting. Nothing's Working Out (English Cover)【Will Stetson】for the FRAU.

How everyone is slowing breaking down post revolution fits the vibe of this song.

Tw for suicide idealization

Although this song has the lyrics “Wanna die,” the OG song does not have this.

It definitely gives off “I am so done with everything” energy for sure.

(Welp I definitely took my time with getting to this lol, it's been months with this sitting in my inbox which is a shame because that song is really good!)

Though I usually like listening to Vocaloid English covers, I actually prefer the OG version, at least the lyric video made by Kei Takahashi. I think that one fits the FRAU characters even more than the English cover you recommended (at least overall, if you select a few characters from FRAU the cover fits more).

Like, for both Neon J's, OG and FRAU, the line "It's a war in my head, though I stand tall" and "Trembling with fear, though I act tough" are both things that they do, just in absolutely different ways. OG acts tough in a way that he is strong FOR those around him while FRAU acts tough AGAINST those around him.

Both of them have their own wars in their head and their own fears. Some more active than others, and are trying to work through it. The main difference is that FRAU Neon's way of working through it is not working out.

The lines "Love me. Love me" and "'This is a mess lol' 'We've heard this before"" are definitely more close to Yinu and Eve. At least when you put those two lines together (which this song does).

It just makes me think of how Eve and Zuke, and Mama and Yinu keep playing a ring-around-the-rosie game. Eve and Yinu can see there is a fucking mess here but they just want to be loved.

Eve has probably tried to reach out to Zuke after Blue hurt him, but she got the same answer (Zuke running away from her). She has played this song and dance before with him and it's just a huge mess.

Yinu on the other hand sees her own family problems and tries to voice them at times but keeps getting dismissed by Mama thinking everything is okay and Yinu is worrying about nothing. Yinu wants to be loved and heard, but all she is hearing is the same thing from her mother over and over (though this is because Yinu isn't communicating as well as she needs for her mother to understand, but that is not Yinu's fault as she is still the child in this situation).

I also like the lines "In a field of inspiration and homages, // Am I supposed to search for originality or something?" It makes me think of Kul Fyra/Tatiana. Possibly also putting in the partial line "We've heard this before" into the mix to show that Tatiana is trying to look for a new way of thinking, but I can see her need for order being the same thing that broke up the Goolings years ago (in this AU it wasn't because she was too lax, but too strict, at least that's what I feel now, don't know if I had said otherwise before)

She isn't doing something new. She's doing the same thing she did before and hoping for a different outcome to happen. When it "did" have a different outcome, she was happy. However, the same thing is going to happen (an implosion), it's just taking it's sweet time to happen at NSR compared to the Goolings quick end.

If we go to the lines "This kid that's younger than me is getting popular. Ridiculous, right?" I can see that being for EVERY member of the Megastars (not counting necropolis or ex-Megastar DJSS).

Neon J is a bit bitter he was never able to make it himself when he tried earlier in life. He's probably the least bitter because he also just loves kids and is happy to see them becoming stars at such a young age (but also like, he is not happy how young they are because kids should still be kids).

Eve is absolutely not okay with seeing her younger half brother and someone like Yinu so high up in a field she had to claw her way into. I can see her believing Yinu is just born lucky and the Sayu Crew are just piggybacking off of her success and relationship to Remi (that might also be why she is so mean to Remi. She doesn't realize why she is so nasty to him so she picks apart something that will absolutely hurt him, which is his transness).

The Crew themselves are basically bullies in their own way (hurt people hurt people, am I right?) and choose Yinu as a target because she is so young and talented. Eve's belief that Yinu is just born lucky is something the Crew probably picked up on and let her know of it in a less than subtle way.

Yinu is just trying to play music (music she doesn't want to play anymore) while being an object of envy and hate by the older people in her life thanks to their jealousy. Thankfully though, it isn't as bad as it could be because Mama is there most of the time (meaning Yinu either has to deal with an over protective mother or backhanded compliments and insults).

The only solace really is 1010 for Yinu, who don't care about her age because they were literally BUILT with musical skill and a cop-out way to easily sync up dances. If anyone were "born" lucky, it was 1010 who barely have to actually practice compared to Yinu.

Like all of this is here and I haven't even gone deep into 1010 themselves yet! Each one having their own damn problems with "solutions" that aren't working out for them.

Specifically the "Love me. Love me" and 'This is a mess lol' 'We've heard this before"" lines are also something that can fit 1010. As they all literally just want to be loved by Neon J (a feeling he is actively withholding from them because he doesn't want to see them as his kids even though he subconsciously already does).

None of 1010 even give a shit about the "love" from fans anymore because it barely charges them up due to the constant hate and negative emotions that they live with. Each one just becoming an isolated mess directing their hate at each other (and specifically Blue) all because they are stuck in a situation they can't legally leave.

Another line that I like is "I won't go back even if I hate it, over time I realized I'd assimilated" which makes me think of Tatiana and Neon J a lot. Like they tried to get away from shitty situations, but instead of actually leaving they became what they were running from (abusive assholes hell bent on controlling the people around them).

Like Tatiana is basically becoming her dad in this AU (or maybe she already is), while Neon J (though his family turned out better in this AU) is basically becoming/became what he feared his parents would be like to him before he came out.

The two assimilated into a culture of hate and hurt, and because of that they brought it into everyone else's lives around them. Thankfully Neon is actively trying to get out of it (but still doing a LOT of damage in the process). Tatiana on the other hand just dug her heels even deeper into the dirt to stand her ground, because to her there's nothing worse than being proven wrong.

There's also the kinda slower middle part of the song that I like a lot. Specifically the lines "Compromise just like that, frustration at full blast" and "Break up the party and act innocent, lol."

Those two lines are really good to me. The compromise one makes me think mainly of Yinu and how she is doing everything for her mother out of love. To her it's a compromise and not self destruction. Similar thing with Neon, he is compromising on his beliefs to try and get enough leeway to get 1010 out of NSR.

Like these two are not ACTUALLY compromising because they are giving things up without getting anything in return (but they think they are compromising), which is where all of the built up frustration is coming from.

The break up the party line (and even the "Dance, dance, dance, dance" part that goes along with it), just makes me think of NSR as a whole. They are putting up a show for the public, but behind the scenes they are fighting and hating each other. If at anytime a "party" breaks loose and fans start to see through the cracks, the artists have to back down and pretend to play innocent. Pretend nothing is wrong. Show that the failed revolution didn't actually affect them at all (when it absolutely has).

And finally, the part repeated so often. "Nothing's working out" goes to everyone as well. Each person in NSR (and outside of it) are literally just trying to move on with life in some way or fashion (even if it's a self destructive or hateful move) but nothing is actually working out because there is just too much toxicity.

Even for those who want to leave (or have left in B2J and DJSS' cases), nothing is really working out for them because of the long lasting effects that toxicity has done to them. Nothing in life is really working out at all. It sucks. Sometimes even starting totally fresh is not enough if you can't somehow mend the damages that happened.

Very few of the characters actually want to die, so that's why I prefer the sub version of the OG song than the cover. For those who do want to die, like truly die, I think it would just be Green. Like even Tila and Yinu have some kind of hope for the future, but Green is the only one who is truly ready to just give up (he probably doesn't even know why he is still trying at this point, just routine I guess).

Though is things continue to spiral down like they are, without something breaking the cycle (either another revolution, 1010 getting out, or something like that) then Tila and Yinu, possibly others, are going to want to truly die as well.

#suicide mention #nsrtalk #failed revolution #eritalks #noart #asks

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aulupine · 2 years ago

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One of those playlist challenges but actually tagged by a mutual this time

I see you @thunderdone Thanks for the tag! Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, and then tag 10 people. No skipping!

I much like thunder have a million fucking playlists and they all have different vibes so here's from my likes as well. Be prepared for whiplash, and no explanation because my taste is... wild xD

1. It's All Futile! It's All Worthless! - Lovejoy Wilbur, and indie-alt. Need I say more?

2. 4BLOOD - Kira, Hatsune Miku I got nothing... This can only be explained by the words: "Animation Meme Vibes".

3. Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic Literal animation memes. Uh...., that and one hell of a smarmy character/confidence booster song lmao

4. Pushing Me Away - Linkin Park A bitch do be depressed

5. Killer Queen - Mad Tsai Uh, animation, storytelling but also savage spite revenge song vibes. And if anyone knows me, they know I like my sarcastic bitch vibes probably a bit too much

6. Roses Are Red (Violets Are Blue) - Jon Caryl A bitch do be depressed 2 electric boogaloo

7. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic! at the Disco Vaguely edgy alt-pop with a hell of a sound. Idk, it's old P!atD so yeah vaguely nostalgic and has a good sound. Just... pleasing to the earbones *shrugs*

8. Hourglass - Set It Off We're just rolling through my edgy picks aren't we, goddamn! One of my "fuck it all and fight" vibe songs, when you want to wear stompy boots and tip your chin up at the world. Could accurately be described as: "everything sucks so fuck it, what else could go wrong?"

9. Until the Wolves Come Out - NateWantsToBattle It's his friggin original album, with P!atD mixed with FOB vibes, and a hint of "fuck it society won't listen so I'll make them" vibes. Good fucking shit. Not my favorite song from this album but definitely a good one! (check him out, did a lot of fandom stuff too, you've probably heard his stuff. I genuinely prefer his original stuff funnily enough tho lmao)

10. Songs for a Guilty Sadist - Crywank Blame Wilbur. Don't actually listen to this much at all, but it's what came up. I like the chords and lyrics, just not Crywanks specific version. One of those weird times I like a cover more than the OG Honorable mention: Pinch Me - Young Friend Idk alt-indie-pop kinda? Depressed but cheery, masking vibes. Love me some masking vibes.

Honorable mention 2 Electric Boogaloo: "Cosmic Dreams - Intro" - Jay Sarma, Ritorikal I like instrumental stuff, especially if it makes me feel like I'm in an edgy concept anime video, witnessing the end of the universe and the beginning of a new one, going through a metamorphosis one might say.

Conclusion: What I'm learning is that, wow I'm depressed and it *shows* xD

Tag Time! uh, Honestly I don't have 10 people I'd tag, lets try @baronazazel @littledreamsoflife @thepidgeonqueen @catzoomies @corveknight And uh, anyone else who wants to try lol. Also no req to do this and if you've already been tagged, feel free to ignore!

#music #caff talks #playlist challenge #spotify #musical whiplash #dear god #a bitch do be depressed

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mayonnaisetoffees · 3 years ago

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Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

#fic rec #spn fic rec #merlin fic rec #les mis fic rec

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number5theboy · 4 years ago

Note

for fun, what would be your top 5 hargreeves relationships/interactions to see more of in s3?

YES AN ASK THAT’S NOT EMOTIONAL DEVASTATING LET’S GOOOO.

Allison & Five

Five & Allison

Numbers Three and Five

The Rumour & The Boy

Have I mentioned Allison & Five already??

Okay, jokes aside, we deserve to see more of their dynamic, I really liked the few moments we got in Season 1, and they didn’t interact at all in Season 2!!! I just think they’d be the most kickass dynamic, I love the two of them so much and I just think putting them together would just be so entertaining. They’re both ruthless and caring, they are both rational and usually smart, and also the other siblings would not stand a chance under the combined teasing wits of Allison and Five, so it is my top priority relationship that I need to see in Season 3. But here are the 5 that follow and why I want to see them:

Luther & Klaus We only saw them together when Luther was intoxicated and hungover, I think we deserve to see them sober, also because their two chaotic energies deserve to play off each other. Also Tom Hopper and Robert Sheehan both have impeccable comedic timing and chemistry, and I just really want to see them have a storyline next season, I think Luther’s caring nature could really help Klaus with the pain of Ben’s loss/seeing his brother’s emo version right after losing him forever

Five & Ben & Vanya Okay it’s pretty much impossible for us to get this one with OG!Ben, but the high numbers will always be the dynamic that got away for me, I wish we could have seen them together, as kids, as adults, it doesn’t matter. I love Vanya’s relationship with Five and Ben individually, and I think they could have been the best friendship in the show, if we could have seen it.

Diego & Klaus & Luther / Vanya & Allison & Five Okay, this is just purely to indulge me, but listen. Imagine the pure chaos that would come from Klaus, Diego and Luther going off on their own. We already know Klaus and Diego are an ice-cream-truck-disaster-dynamic, and Luther and Diego are a firework that goes off backwards but is still pretty, I just need them all to bro it out and be beautiful messes together. And it comes in tandem with another dynamic I NEED to see, which is Five and his sisters. We already know that he is soft with Vanya, and from the little we’ve seen from Five and Allison, the two of them vibe, and Vanya and Allison are a dreamteam anyway, so I want to see them all together!! Five deserves to hang out with the other Hargreeves with braincells, and Alison and Vanya deserve to reconnect with him. Also they might take over the world in the process. Accidentally. Love my powerful favourite siblings.

Luther & Ben We barely know anything about their relationship!! Luther thought to ask Klaus about Ben’s opinion before they time-travelled, but that’s about it!! Did they like each other?? Did they not?? Please tell me, I want to know!!

Allison & Ben Okay, this one is only below Luther & Ben because we know that Allison misses Ben, meaning that she loved him, in some way, and he pranked her!! What was their relationship, how did she react to the pranks? Did they read together? Another dynamic I wish we knew more about.

Also, bonus round: Top Five Sibling Relationships That We Have Seen Before But Deserve To See More

Allison & Diego & Five: I LOVED their Scooby Gang excursion in Season 1, and the dynamic has so much: Allison and Five teasing Diego?? Allison and Diego snarking at Five?? Semi-functional shenanigans?? Love and care about each other??? Please I need them back.

Diego & Allison: in the lead-up to Season 2, I put them down as my favourite familial dynamic. They’re awesome together, their relationship is the most sibling-y out of all the Hargreeves, in my opinion, and them fighting together?? Awesome, beautiful and also hot, can we have more of this?

Klaus & Diego: I think we all want their dumbassery back, and if I were in charge, I would add Luther for maximum chaos, as said before.

Five & Vanya: I feel like by this point it’s cliché to highlight their relationship, but I love it SO much. The entire thing about Five and Vanya is that it’s two people who are failing to reconnect with someone they used to love, but that someone has grown and changed now. Idk, in the first season, Five easily reconnected with his other siblings, and if it was only through sass, but Five and Vanya are quiet and sad and loving and gentle and I adore them so much.

Vanya & Luther & Diego: I liked their moments this season, but also Vanya had amnesia?? I’d love to see them with non-amnesiac Vanya, I think they could be SO much fun together.

Also bonus to the bonus: The Hargreeves Relationship Nobody But Me Wants To See More Of

Five and Reginald: Five’s relationship with Hargreeves is absolutely fascinating to me because it’s very different from all the other siblings’, especially after Season 2, so I’d love to see them together again

#why is magneto judging me from your icon tho #i feel very judged #sorry that i'm not a mutant mister lehnsherr sir #Replies #hacash

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ragazza-paradiso · 4 years ago

Text

my eurovision 2021 ranking (before rehearsals)

hey!! 🤍 i’ll try to keep this short & sweet (and bear in mind some of these are subject to change & depend on my mood) but this is my rough ranking of this year’s entries based solely on the studio cuts <3

dislike:

39. 🇩🇪 jendrik - i don’t feel hate: i knew this would be my last place since i first heard it. he seems like a nice guy but this type of music is just. not for me? in fact i don’t think i’ve ever even managed to make it all the way through since my first listen :/

38. 🇱🇻 samanta tina - the moon is rising: i love love LOVE samanta & think she is an absolute gem but this song & me simply do not go together. that being said i appreciate both her voice & the message

37. 🇵🇱 rafał - the ride: while this is slightly catchy & seems to be an ear worm for me, i cannot take this song seriously. rafał looks ridiculous in those sunglasses in the music video. the lyrics are awful too

neither like nor dislike:

36. 🇦🇱 anxhela peristeri - karma: this is very strange because usually i am the no. 1 fan of ethnic influenced ballads at eurovision, but i just do not get this one. i can definitely see the appeal but it’s not for me

35. 🇲🇰 vasil - here i stand: i think his voice is great however the song doesn’t do much for me. i find it quite forgettable & think he was definitely capable of giving us something better which is a shame

34. 🇫🇮 blind channel - dark side: i enjoyed this quite a bit when it first came out but it’s quickly slid down my ratings. the lyrics are too edgy for me & it’s a throwback to a genre of music that i don’t really enjoy anyway. but i can appreciate that it sticks out & does something different

33. 🇨🇿 benny cristo - omaga: i was a massive fan of kemama last year & while i liked this upon first listen, i have to say its far too generic to really stick out after a while. plus some of the lyrics are a bit creepy lol. having said that i think seeing him perform it live could definitely change my opinion

32. 🇸🇪 tusse - voices: another year, another generic well produced pop song from sweden. should we be surprised anymore? it’s okay, i don’t hate it, but i’m struggling to find anything i like about it. plus the lyrics are the most “eurovision cliche lyrics” i’ve ever heard

31. 🇬🇧 james newman - embers: okay while this is ranked relatively low, i have to say this is better than anything we’ve sent since 2017. it’s a nice song, i enjoy it when it’s on, but i don’t have an urge to play it, if that makes sense?

30. 🇲🇹 destiny - je me casse: i know this is probably blasphemy but i just do not understand the hype around this song. destiny has a great voice but i don’t see how this song sticks out in anyway that it’s the favourite to win? it’s another one that i won’t skip but i won’t seek out to listen to

29. 🇦🇹 vincent bueno - amen: i do enjoy this, but i wish it just had a bit more oomph. the lyrics for the verses are good but the chorus is just lacking something. i do think this could be a dark horse to qualify though

28. 🇸🇮 ana soklič - amen: i just realised the two amens are right next to each other on my ranking lol. anyway, this is only so high because of her amazing voice. the song doesn’t really do anything for me, but you have to appreciate that level of talent

27. 🇺🇦 go_a - shum: this is one i know i’ll appreciate more live, but i just can’t get into the studio version. plus i really liked solovey last year so this one seems worse in comparison

26. 🇲🇩 natalia gordienko - sugar: this is good but i think all “dream team” songs are a little bit dated nowadays. however saying that i love the music video & moldova always improve live

25. 🇵🇹 the black mamba - love is on my side: this has been a big grower. it’s not a favourite, but i think it definitely has its niche, and i can appreciate that

24. 🇳🇱 jeangu macrooy - birth of a new age: grow was in my top 5 last year, so it was always gonna be hard for jeangu to deliver something as good. this has grown on me, but i’m still not 100% on board

like:

23. 🇳🇴 tix - fallen angel: i didn’t like this at first because i was so heartbroken that keiino didn’t win the national selection, but i’ve gotten over it now lol. it’s cheesy but in a good way, i think this act doesn’t take itself too seriously either which makes it more enjoyable

22. 🇸🇲 senhit ft flo rida - adrenalina: it’s fun, catchy, even has a surprise verse from flo rida! probably san marino’s 3rd best entry ever (justice for complice & crisalide 💔)

21. 🇨🇾 elena tsagrinou - el diablo: it’s just a very good pop song. i’m not in love with it but it’s of a very good quality (well. apart from the lyrics). i’m sure the staging will improve it even more

20. 🇬🇷 stefania - super girl: greece is one of my biggest growers from last year, i think this is a MUCH better song than supergirl was. i’m really rooting for stefania

19. 🇪🇪 uku suviste - the lucky one: this has been such a big grower, it’s insane. i can recognise it’s not the best song but i just really like it for some reason.

18. 🇪🇸 blas cantó - voy a quedarme: i’m a sucker for native language ballads, and this is a pretty standard one, but it’s good to me. blas seems like a real sweetheart too, which helps :)

17. 🇨🇭 gjon’s tears - tout l’univers: this is another one of those songs that i really should love, and while i like it, i can’t really connect with it. gjon’s entry last year was my second favourite, and unfortunately this doesn’t scratch the same itch that did, it’s still a very good song & i completely understand why it’s one of the favourites to win

16. 🇧🇪 hooverphonic - the wrong place: i really don’t like hooverphonic as a band (actually it’s mostly alex callier that i dislike) but this is just a good song. i am still upset that luka didn’t get to go to eurovision though :/

15. 🇮🇪 lesley roy - maps: another massive grower! i much prefer this to her song last year. i really hope ireland can get their shit together & give this song the staging it deserves

14. 🇦🇿 efendi - mata hari: this is basically a carbon copy of cleopatra, and i guess i liked that so i like this. however i will say it has dropped in my ranking a bit. i’m ranking this solely on the song, efendi herself is a different matter & i’m not really educated enough on what’s happening in azerbaijan/armenia to comment but from what i’ve seen it’s not the best, let’s say

13. 🇱🇹 the roop - discoteque: i prefer on fire from last year, but this is definitely not a bad effort. i can’t see it as a contender for the win though. another one i will probably enjoy much more live

12. 🇷🇴 roxen - amnesia: i really like the message of this song. i just wish she would work on her english pronunciation, but that’s a minor complaint. but i really like roxen as an artist

love:

11. 🇷🇸 hurricane - loco loco: i love girl groups, and this is no exception. vocally they’re really good, i love that it’s in serbian, & i also just really love sanja vučić lol

10. 🇭🇷 albina - tick tock: i wish this was fully in croatian, but i think it’s a great song regardless. i loved her performance at dora so hopefully they’ll do something similar/even better at esc

9. 🇧🇬 victoria - growing up is getting old: i preferred tears getting sober from last year but this is still really good. the lyrics are some of my favourite of this year, they really resonate with me. victoria is a really interesting artist & i’m really glad she got introduced to me through esc

8. 🇮🇱 eden alene - set me free: the revamp has made this move like 20 places up in my ranking lol. she is so talented & i just hope they have a good staging concept!

7. 🇮🇸 daði og gagnamagnið - 10 years: think about things was good but i think this is even better! i love the retro influences & the lyrics are so sweet

6. 🇬🇪 tornike kipiani - you: i might be one of the only people who adores this song. the lyrics paint such a clear picture of a simple, strong love. and i think it’s quiet but powerful at the right moments. i know i will be heartbroken when this doesn’t qualify :(

5. 🇫🇷 barbara pravi - voilà: i played this too much & ruined it for myself, but i love it again now. very authentically french but without overdoing it (cough 2017 staging cough), just a beautiful song

4. 🇮🇹 måneskin - zitti e buoni: i’m not a massive rock fan, but a song like this i just vibe with. it’s just so good. italy is always either my no. 1 or in my top 5 since they returned (apart from 2012 & 2014) and they’ve done it again. this is definitely a contender to win

3. 🇦🇺 montaigne - technicolour: this song is eclectic but i love it. i didn’t like don’t break me, but this is so much better, and so much more authentic to montaigne as an artist. i know it’s divisive, but i’m on the side that loves it

2. 🇩🇰 fyr og flamme - øve os på hinanden: this is just so fun. i love the 80s vibe, the performance at the national selection was simple but still very engaging. this is one i will play for many years after the contest

1. 🇷🇺 manizha - russian woman: where do i even start. native language, ethnic influenced sound, important message, charismatic performer. this song is amazing. and i’m so glad i’ve found manizha to listen to!

so that’s it!! if anyone wants to chat about their thoughts please message me!! 🤍

#esc 2021

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noramachwitz · 6 years ago

Text

i wrote a giant review post and i thought i’d keep the momentum going so here’s a giant review on skam nl under a read more

okay so i have to say i loved s1 and i think nl did one of (maybe even the) best versions of s1 i love isa so much and i loved the girl squad and i was super exicted to see their version of s2 since noah/liv were the only version that i didn’t dislike in s1 and i hate to say it but ... i find s2 pretty underwhelming. and i have for a while. i’m still keeping up with it but honestly i’m having some (kinda big) problems with the way it’s written

(and needless to say these are all my opinions and you can disagree it’s fine etc.)

what it boils down to are these points:

1) plot driven - this season is SO plot driven it drives me mad. somehow the entire plot just happens /to/ liv (and i’m not talking about the SA here of course but everything that happens before that) and somehow almost every decision she does make and where they’d finally show her having some agency is off screen?? i keep feeling like everything that happens happens because it’s the next step in the story and there’s little transition imo?? i feel like i always see plot point a then plot point b but a lot of the times i don’t know what actually happened to lead from one to the other for example i still don’t freaking know why liv actually went on a date with him?? or noah saying his brother can’t be trusted but then still believing him. i just feel like liv and noah both as characters just don’t fit into the way they’re going about this story

2) noah - i think noah as a character had a ton of potential to be really insteresting and different but ... NL changed the vibes around him completely and you have this artsy painter dude who seems quite charming and doesn’t take himself too seriously (which monk portrays perfectly ngl) but they just completely failed to adjust the story so it fits his character better. instead noah (in my opinion i’m very sorry lmao) actually behaves more like OG william than most other williams. he acts the same way, he justifies his actions the same way, he even says a lot of the exact same lines and ... why?? why not fully embrance those vibes and actually change the story as a consequence?? i remember soo many people in the fandom saying they can’t see noah beating up someone and it’s true i agreed but then it happened anyway and these moments just KEPT HAPPENING where i couldn’t see him doing something but he did anyway and i just don’t understand why.

so instead of changing things that were easy to change and would make noah better than william they change things that are unnecessary which leads me to one of the biggest plot devices i’ve ever seen: the death of noah’s mum. when i first realised that noah’s mum dies during this season i was actually pretty excited bc i thought they’d use that to explore him as a character more but!! no it was just a two week plot device to guilt trip liv?? and almost every clip we got during that time was just liv feeling guilty and guiltier and her staring at her phone constantly until she ends up at the wake and we find out actually noah wasn’t even close with her and it didn’t really affect him?? and it hasn’t been mentioned since either??? WHY!! instead of giving noah and liv a solid base for a relationship and use that time to idk get to know each other more and like just to talk it just feels to me like they took the easy way out writing wise

also it’s literally the penultimate episode and noah has had ZERO character development and we still know very little about him but we’re still supposed to be rooting for him and liv?? how am i supposed to do that when he’s so underwritten?? this is all such a shame goddamn it

3) time management/pacing - i have no idea if it’s because i binged s1 or not but you can tell so hard with s2 that they’re on a time limit and it always confuses me what they end up coosing to spend time on. prime example: the sleepover clip. we spend 3 whole minutes (yes i checked) with liv going around that wake having that weird conversation that literally adds nothing to anything and then she finally sees noah we see them sit next to each other and listen to a record and ... then liv talks to ralph on the phone and it just cuts to them getting ready for bed like why spend so much time on unnecessary stuff in the beginning and then when there are finally opportunities for development they’ve got no more time left!!!

in general when there finally is a moment of tension or conflict the clip usually ends and we have to wait a whole day or even 2 for another clip and it just really makes me wish we’d get less of these quiet moments (and while they’re definitely necessary too i just feel like nl actually has way too many of them) and just give us more plot movement instead so we can actually get somewhere. this is less of a problem if you only watch whole eps but since this is skam and real time narrative it just doesn’t work for me.

4) conversations - the lack of converstions REAL conversations between noah and liv is sooo frustrating to me. they’ve basically only had ONE real conversation so far and that was when liv broke up with him. that was the first time they actually /talk/ to each other and ... okay i know everybody keeps saying NL is prioritising liv since it’s her own season and that it’s about her and not her realtionship with noah but i mean that relationship is a big part of her story?? and i still don’t know why liv actually likes noah, i don’t know how she realised that she loves him and we haven’t actually like ... seen them bond??

the conversation i did actually really like was the one between liv and esra when she asks if esra has ever been in love but i was just kinda like where did that come from?? they’d made out twice at that point and that was it?? i guess this ties in with the fact that it’s just plot driven which means i don’t necessarily get a character’s motivations since they explore the plot and not the characters themselves. the other actual conversation was the one liv had with engel but there for me it was another case of Where Did That Come From you know? like engel gives liv this whole thing about how she’s scared of chaos which is true but from a storytelling point of view there was nothing to like ... trigger that realisation? i mean of course theoretically i know that the girls are all close friends and just know each other well but when you tell a story (even if it’s skam that’s based in realism and believability) you need buildup to things and i feel like that something that really lacks in skam nl

5) in general - to me personally it just feels a lot like nl shies away from proper conflict a lot because resolving it would take time which they don’t have but that means they don’t build proper tension that drives the plot forward. and i actually have the same problem with s2 in the OG as well don’t get me wrong but i feel like that’s something they could change but haven’t because nl just?? idk seems scared of changing too much?? they change the characters but not the plot but why? who knows, i sure don’t and it’s not they way i enjoy a story being told

okay to end this whole thing on a more positive note lmao here’s some thing i actually do like about this season:

soundtrack is a+ as always nl is good at that

the cinematography and general aesthetic is just ... so pretty (but ngl i feel like that sometimes comes at a cost of substance)

the girl squad! although i can’t say it’s the best as many other people do because i never would have thought iman missing would be this noticeable but for me it throws off the entire dynamic?? anyway but i do like them

esra!! she’s so great

i just love isa

okay that’s all

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #skam nl #this got long i did not realise i had this much to say

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misanthropecopy · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on/during MSBE

So this isn’t a review, per say, but rather me just pointing out some interesting tidbits, discoveries and comments I had from watching the movie.

Let’s start with the overall feel of the film. It definitely seems much more akin to Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”, than the English dub of the original movie ever was. Whereas in this one it is more apparent that Mewtwo is only lashing out his hate towards his circumstances at the world, rather than setting out to really conquer it. This of course made our angsty kangaroo much more sympathetic, in my eyes. That being said though, I think including his original prologue with Ambertwo, would have added MUCH more depth to his character. CAUSE THIS GENERATION NEEDS TO SUFFER LIKE I DID WHEN I SAW IT. //SHOT

Speaking of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein it was this take on the movie that made me realize Ash seems to parallel Robert Walton, a “protagonist” in the book who recklessly goes out to be an explorer, seeking glory or adventure without seriously thinking things over first. Sound familiar?

Dragonite’s Muppet noises give me life. You can’t change my mind.

The fact that officer Jenny threatened to arrest those trainers going to New Island means they’re actions were screaming “F**K COPS”.

The rocket trio was cheesy as usual, and tried making the movie into a musical number. They failed. //SHOT

Brock was actually smart enough to recognize Nurse Joy BEFORE her hat came off, who knew he had some brain cells when infatuated? *SARCASM*

The animation was actually better than I anticipated. Mewtwo’s movements felt more alive and dare I say “natural”, the scenery was pretty breathtaking at some points and while the humans could be pretty jarring sometimes the Pokémon were often very visually pleasing to me at least.

Brock has been drinking his “respect woman” juice, because he called the girl trainer QUEEN. Also he referenced his infamous “jelly doughnuts” sakjhfjkshg.

Also the soundtrack? They really went hardcore on the organ, there. Probably to add to the spoopy Frankenstein vibe.

Speaking of Frankenstein’s monster again, I noticed that BOTH of my psychic kangaroos canon stories somewhat reflect different points of the monster’s life. Not just because they’re artificial, whereas OG Mewtwo’s story focuses more on its creation/lashing out against world Newtwo’s story [mainly the prologue and before she found Pokémon who took care of her] is reflective of the time at the very end of Shelly’s book where the monster got watched his creator die and went off into the isolated arctic never to be seen again. Presumably to rid the world of his “abominable” existence.

Meowth commented that the clones sleeping in their tubes was ‘cute’ and... well he’s not wrong.

The way Mewtwo responded to Nurse Joy after getting her out of his influence, seemed to suggest that he tried using her to figure out his own body as well and no I don’t mean that in a weird way, get your mind out of the gutter you THOTS.

“No matter who the Pokémon, there isn’t a Pokémon that can’t be caught!” Bro, if you only BEEN to the dynamaxed Mewtwo raid battles.

Also the clone’s popping out of the machines don’t look like a Rhyhorn giving birth now, so that’s nice.

Also the whole palace -whistles- that is some top-tier gothic architecture man.

Charizard is a hot-head like usual, but his cgi form gives me Toothless, making me want to squish his face.

“Humans, I have no desire to cause you harm. Simply go home.” Wow that is surprisingly non-jerky of you Mewt- *Opens gate up to reveal HIS typhoon* “That is, if you can make it through the storm. >:3″ Aaaaand never mind, you’re an a-hole.

If you listen closely you can hear og Mewtwo’s anger slowly increasing, each time his shots fail to hit Mew.

“A Pokémon’s REAL strength comes from the heart you say! Well mine’s full of rage and emotional trauma!”

You can climb down that wall Ash! Just believe that you’re Spider-Man! Or whatever version of him you have, in your universe.

Aaaand you failed.

Pikachu and Pikatwo fight, aka Jordon Peele’s Us.

“Living things won’t give up their territory, to other members of their own species. That means-” “They’ll battle until the other is defeated, until only one remains.” OW, okay just thinking of that possibility ever occurring between him and Psyche, the implications PAINS ME TO NO END.

CHARIZARDTWO GAVE ASH’S CHARIZARD A LIZARD KISS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! THE VULPIX ALSO GAVE EACH OTHER APOLOGY LICKS!

Okay seriously some parts of the movie’s soundtrack are GOOD, y’all. Also the art in the credits are gorgeous.

OG Mewtwo -glancing back at his clones- “...Oh crap, I’m a father now, aren’t I?”

Finally, GF if y’all are hinting that you might be making a cgi special in returns, may I humbly ask that you hint at Newtwo’s existence more. Plz and thank.

#Cursing//#I AM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU (ooc)#MSBE spoilers//#((oops my fangirling post got long))#((but hey at least I didn't spam you guys too much with multiple posts //SHOT))#((and yes the movie was an EXPERIENCE for me))

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airadam · 4 years ago

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Episode 140 : ...in his land, a ruler.

"Either unmarked or engraved - hey, who's to say?"

- MF DOOM

Wow, January has been a long year (!)

On the very last day of 2020, the Hip-Hop world was stunned to hear of the passing of Daniel Dumile, later known as Zev Love X, and eventually as the legendary MF DOOM. It had actually happened some time before but his family wanted to maintain some privacy, which is absolutely to be respected. In his memory, we play some tracks from the DOOM catalogue, plus some throwback favourites and a few recent releases. The bulk of the show is pretty uptempo, so one for the runners out there!

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

MF DOOM ft. Pebbles : Doomsday

We start things off with the smoothness, the first full track on DOOM's debut LP "Operation : Doomsday" - which is still my favourite. A chunk of the album sounds like he just went right to the 80s soul crate and loaded the whole thing into the sampler, and this sets it off right. It certainly hits you differently now hearing him speak about his grave, and reuniting with his brother, the much missed DJ Subroc. This track gives you a window into some of the path DOOM walked on the way back to the industry after a traumatic set of personal circumstances, and is packed with references if you understand what you're hearing.

Dela : Dizzy

Quality production from "The Robert Glasper Beat Tape", doing great work with a piano sample and really changing the vibe. Check how he reinforces it with that fuzzy bass that plays along with parts of the main riff.

Tall Black Guy & Ozay Moore ft. Ohmega Watts : Har Hanz

A celebration of Hip-Hop here, with Ozay Moore and Ohmega Watts taking the mic atop the production skills of Tall Black Guy that is still getting regular headphone time from me three months after release. The sample at the start is discussing the late Latin jazz percussionist "Hard Hands" Ray Barretto, and is taken from the essential Hip-Hop documentary "Style Wars". Essential.

Edgar Allen Floe : State Of The Art

Taking it back to the early days of 9th Wonder and the Justus League crew, we have a track from the "WJLR Radio, Volume 2" mixtape, which you'll be lucky to find these days. EAF is a very skilled MC and, very characteristically of the time this was recorded, the topic here is the state of Hip-Hop and respect for artistry.

Busta Rhymes ft. Q-Tip : Don't Go

Bringing it back to a recent release, the new "Extinction Level Event 2 : The Wrath Of God" from the tail end of 2020 - unlike the first "ELE" release in 1998, the title seems to fit the age this time around... Anyway, this is a highlight, with the classic pairing of Busta and Q-Tip over a great Focus beat. The bar layout is a bit unusual, so it made the mixes on either side a little weird, but worth it to share this track.

Doc Ish ft. Joe Budden, Talib Kweli, Sean Price, and Angelica C : Is It A Dream

Dallas stand up! Texas producer Doc Ish brings in a trailerload of vocal talent to grace this beat, one that bumps along and still envelops you. I can't find any info on Angelica C, who does the business on the hook and outro, but she comes correct, and while all the MCs put in solid verses, Sean P is - as almost always - the star. Get this one on the 2010 "The First Treatment" album.

Grap Luva : Rocking With Elegance (One For Damu)

Hitting the SP-1200 here with a nice beat from Mount Vernon's Grap Luva from the "Neva Done" release. Drums and piano on a nice head-nod vibe with some little accents to make the beat complete - it's a great demonstration of not overdoing things when you have a groove that works!

Whodini : Five Minutes Of Funk

Not the whole track, so roughly three minutes and fourteen seconds of this specific funk. I wasn't able to get any Whodini onto the last episode, so it's this month that we pay tribute to the late John "Ecstasy" Fletcher. This track is taken from their sophomore album "Escape", and Ecstasy and Jalil kick their vintage-styled rhymes over the familiar instrumental courtesy of Larry Smith. You may recognise the beat as the theme for Ralph McDaniels' "Video Music Box", or any number of break/turntablist tapes! RIP Ecstasy.

KMD ft. Brand Nubian : Nitty Gritty

When I realised I could work this transition, it had to be done! This was the first KMD track I ever heard, and possibly the first Brand Nubian as well, after it was played on Pete Tong's Rap Selection show on Radio 1 back in the day. The lead MC of KMD was Daniel Dumile, then going by Zev Love X, and later becoming MF DOOM. All the MCs are dropping references from their respective religious organisations on this one, and this self-produced track from the debut KMD album "Mr Hood" is an absolute winner thirty years after its release!

Eric B & Rakim : Pass The Hand Grenade

This is one of my favourite cuts from the excellent 1992 "Don't Sweat The Technique" album, the final release from Eric B & Rakim as a duo. As per usual, it's a microphone clinic from Rakim, with the density of the lyrics smoothed out by his vocal control and easily keeping up with the break-driven production.

Ice-T : New Jack Hustler

Never mind all the swing on the soundtrack for "New Jack City", this was the highlight, which also stood up strongly next to anything else on Ice-T's crowning "OG : Original Gangster" LP, on which this also appears. An encapsulation of the speed, violence, and chaos of the streets as they were then, and as always with Ice, an acknowledgement that it all comes to a sticky end. The hectic production from Ice and legendary LA turntablist DJ Aladdin creates the perfect dense high-octane menace to go along with the iconic lyrics.

[DJ Premier] Gang Starr : Bless The Mic (Instrumental)

At the tail end of last year we got an instrumental release of the "One Of The Best Yet", which itself was the surprise release of 2019. I didn't realise how much I missed the combination of Guru and Preemo, but the beats even stand as good listens by themselves!

Jeep Beat Collective : The Bomb Drops

A gem here from mid-nineties Manchester, and the brainchild of scene veteran Dave the Ruf, who you might know from JBC, Mindbomb, or if you're local, the Scratch Jam sessions he and DJ Rasp put together! This is uptempo, sample-packed, and topped with very serious cuts, which made it a worth inclusion on Bomb Records' original "Return Of The DJ" album.

Donald D : Rage Of The Rap Renegade

Staying with the 90s vibe, we wind it back to 1991 and the second album ("Let The Horns Blow") from Donald D out of the Rhyme Syndicate crew. No frills, just skills, with the Syndicate Sniper busting off lyrical shots over Bilal Bashir's heavy drums and sampling of a well-known bassline.

Motion Man : Come On Y'all

This track from "Clearing The Field" is an excellent tribute to/take on "My Part Of Town" by Philadelphia's Tuff Crew. KutMasta Kurt on production creates a 2002 version of the beat for Motion to get busy on. Definitely check the video - it's definitely one of the more original ones I've ever seen!

Mega Ran & Storyville : React

Teacher, MC, and now published author Mega Ran is definitely a man to check in at least one of his chosen disciplines! While he may be in Phoenix now, he's a Philadelphia native who combines here with his hometown compadre Storyville - both of them were former members of the RAHM Nation crew. The "Soul Veggies" album from 2015 is just solid, nourishing quality (part of the reason for the title), and so I thought we'd come back to it - I last dropped a track from this four years ago! Uptempo double bass action drives this one, the mic work is on point as always, and the cuts in the hook season it up lovely.

DJ Spinna : Rock

There have been many versions of this track, but this is the original from the Brooklyn don Spinna! You can find this one on 12" with "Watch Dees" (not the DJ!) on the flip.

MF Doom : I Hear Voices

The last full track on "Operation : Doomsday" is the last track for this month's show as well, and it's one of my personal favourites from the album. It's just flavour, pure MC talent and writing skills, no hook, and a beat that isn't weird, but is somehow pretty unique. I could maybe have heard Ghostface doing something with a track like this, but DOOM stamps this one indelibly.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

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sailor-freak · 4 years ago

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Halestorm: Reimagined - Album Review

(image source)

This was a lot cos I had a wasp problem towards the end but MY WIG IS GONE SO LET’S GO.

I Get Off - From the couple of previews they put up I was SO excited for this one. And you know what, IT FUCKING LIVED UP TO WHAT I WANTED OMG. The chorus really stands out, cos it’s not overly heavy but it’s not as dragged down as other songs off this EP, and the way Lzzy switched the vocal tones, in the original singing higher and having the lower harmony in the background, but here the lower part is the main part and the original higher part is the background harmony. Also the way she extends the end of “I do for me” is just WOW. I feel like I’m mainly talking about the vocals but I also love the different way Joe uses the guitar in this one, the echo effect sort of replaces the main riff in the intro and it works really well 😂. So yeah, a very fucking solid start 😂.

I Miss The Misery - OMG THE INTRO OF THIS IS GENIUS since it’s their most famous song, they open sort of with the way the music video opens, the original song plays super quietly with some sound over it, idk what it’s meant to be but it adds to the effect. It does just sort of go straight into the reimagined version then, but I love that intro 😂. I guess it’s mostly an acoustic version of the song, but they do add some structural effects that give a different later to it than just “an acoustic version”. The drums also for some reason give me Into The Wild Life vibes, since that was a very vibey album the drums make it sound like this version of the song would slot seamlessly into that album 😂. Unfortunately it does end pretty abruptly, but I guess since they usually extend the outro for this song to like 10 fucking minutes why not 😂. It’s not my favourite, it’s good, but I think since this is my favourite song I have super high standards for it 😂.

I Am The Fire - This kind of has a similar reimagining concept to I Miss The Misery but it kind of pulls it off better? Somehow the way Joe uses the guitar it actually sounds kind of... flamey 😂. Am I making any sense idk it just seems to fit the idea of the song better 😂. Also it sounds like Arejay’s playing a fucking marching drum I have NO idea if that’s the case but it sounds like it, so it almost gives it a soldier vibe, again fitting with the song. Lzzy’s vocals as well here WOW she uses her voice so much softer here, but it slays my liiiiiife I love it 😂. It does get heavier at the bridge, there’s a switch to electric guitar but not for the rest of the song, it’s just used when it needs to be there 😂. Although I prefer OG I Miss The Misery to OG I Am The Fire, I think I prefer Reimagined I Am The Fire to Reimagined I Miss The Misery 😂.

Break In (ft. Amy Lee) - Already done a post on this so you can read that there but yes we love Amy this is so good haha.

I Will Always Love You - Mm not impressed again, it is NOTHING against Halestorm I just don’t like this song 😂. I do love the way Lzzy starts off acapella, but I think they do it live that way anyway 😂. Okay wow sorry this bit I’m typing now is a couple of hours when I left sorry things happened lmao anyway yeah idk what to say cos I just don’t like this song and while Lzzy slays she just can’t save it enough for me to want to listen to it 😂.

Mz. Hyde - I THINK THIS ONE’S MY FAVOURITE like... holy CRAP this one’s good. It definitely does strip some things back but it NEVER loses how dark and cool this song is. It’s almost got some electronic sounds in there but it WORKS 😂. I absolutely love how the backing vocals are used in here, it almost gives you the idea of an old monster film where the entire townsfolk are screaming over this scary monster that is Mz Hyde 😂. While in the original there was a contrast between the verses and chorus to create the Jekyll and Hyde effect, this almost goes directly for the story and it works just as well. Also the way the bass is used here is so effective, Josh really adds that dark underlayer that keeps the song dark where the heaviness of the electric guitar is missing. Oh, and the “it’s me Lzzy i swear”, always slays me, but that one was low key adorable 😂. Yeah, pretty sure this one’s my favourite from the EP 😂.

Overall thoughts, this whole EP mostly did give off an acoustic covers EP, mainly with I Miss The Misery and I Am The Fire, but there was so many different elements and layers added to songs it felt a lot more than that. I think as an EP it’s a great opportunity to listen to new interpretations of the songs you like, and also if you aren’t crazy on the original versions it’s something different for you. Absolutely glowing review from me lads, but what else did you expect from me, it’s Halestorm 😂.

#halestorm #halestorm reimagined #lzzy hale #arejay hale #joe hottinger #josh smith #review

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thefantasysuite · 7 years ago

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Arie’s Bachelor Preview

Finally. Maybe it just seems longer because I didn’t post much during ette or paradise, but it’s about time we got some new info on the OG of dating shows. The cast has finally been released. I’m going to assume that like me, your heart skipped a beat when you got that google alert stating as much. I glanced at a few pictures, but have held off reading anything about any of the ladies to make sure I captured first impression. You wouldn’t stand out there greeting each as she comes out of the limo and then get black out drunk and not remember what you first thought the next morning. Unless of course you are a contestant on this show and have already stalked the bachelor for months on end. In that case, pass the alcohol.

If you’ve followed this blog at all you know I like to stay away from off season drama. You had your 15 mins of fame. As Mr. Wonderful eloquently puts it:

But since it’s the season of giving I’ll give you a quick update on last year’s bachelor, Nick. Him and Vanessa broke up. The end. But seriously, this is what they looked like right after they were able to make their ‘arrangement’ public:

Yeah. Good job convincing everyone that was going to last.

Alright Moving right along. The bachelor this year is Arie Luyendyk:

I don’t remember feeling strongly about Arie one way or another when he was on. I do remember feeling strongly about the bachelorette that he was chasing after however:

Back to Arie. He comes from a family that likes to race cars. The F1 circuit to be precise. For all intents and purposes I’m going to group that in with NASCAR because the jokes are easier. Matt and Trey got 22 minutes out of making fun of NASCAR:

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I can do a season of the bachelor.

Arie’s bachelor announcement doesn’t come without some controversy. He may have broken up with girlfriend right before he became the bachelor:

http://www.etonline.com/exclusive-arie-luyendyk-jrs-ex-girlfriend-says-she-was-blindsided-bachelor-casting-their-breakup

It also appears Arie has a type when you look at his ex compared to the former bachelorette:

Enough about Arie. Let’s see the skanks that will be racing after his heart (get used to a bunch corny puns relating to his former profession)

Ali

Ali is a personal stylist. Got a quick tip for Ali. Next time ABC offers to have their professional stylist help you out before your headshot, don’t say “I got this”. The most embarrassing thing she listens to is Nickelback. While unrelated, please check out this clip of another Chad Kroeger fighting his local government to keep house parties a god given right:

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The Beastie Boys would be proud

Amber

3 people dead or alive you’d like to have lunch with. You can tell a lot about a person in how they answer. Starting your list off with Kim Kardashian says more than enough. What can you possibly ask her in which the honest answer isn’t “sex tape”? How did you get so famous? Sex tape. How did you break into the industry? Sex tape. What drove your step dad to become a woman? Sex tape

Annaliese

I feel like Annaliese misunderstood the question 5 things you can’t live without. She listed 3 different types of food and 2 emotions. I think the producers are looking for you to say something like wi-fi and your favorite hoody. She also listed Miley Cyrus and Chrissy Tiegan as people she would want to be. Guessing there isn’t much going on upstairs with this one

Ashley

Ashley looks super boring. Doubt she makes it past night 1. She hates doing laundry because it takes her a week to go from washing her clothes, to folding, to putting them away. Pft. I leave that shit in the dryer and go grab a pair of socks and underwear as needed. Amateur

Becca K

Becca has quite the jawline on her. Hopefully she has a smokin hot body. Becca is a publicist. You know who was also a publicist? Fucking Shauna:

Something tell me Becca is publicizing people more like Johnny Drama and less like Vincent Chase

Bekah M

Bekah is very intriguing. This might be a first, but her age isn’t listed in her bio. And I really want to know what it is. Her profession is nanny so I would assume she’s pretty young. But past contestant Corrine also had a nanny and she was pretty old. I know it’s because of the hair, but I’m getting a Morena Baccarin vibe:

I’ve got my eye on this one

Bibiana

I’m guessing Bibiana has quite a bit of personality. This has to be the girl other girls hate, right? She’s an executive assistant and former NFL cheerleader. I vote Bibi as most likely to tell everyone that she isn’t there to make friends and to start calling Arie her man

Bri

Bri is a sports reporter. I needed to look it up to be sure:

Now I’m not saying someone that’s already been on TV can’t fall in love with someone else on TV. But if she gets to the final 3 this season, fans like her, and a sideline job happens to open up with ABC she may have her eyes on a prize other than Arie

Brittane J

At the risk of making an off(on)-color joke, I’m going to guess that is a new way to spell Brittany. And is she winking? Lunch with 3 people dead or alive she went with Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders, Beyonce. When the bill came Bernie made sure that Whitney Houston’s estate paid for her meal before the new tax bill gets rid of the death tax. (Hey. She got political, not me)

Brittany T

Seeing her listed as Brittany T confirms that the previous girl does pronounce it as Brittany. This Brittany would like to have lunch with Chris Evans, Hillary Clinton (shudder), and Beyonce. When Chris Evans goes on a coke binge he better hope he stays away from the bathtub to relax afterwards (See Whitney Houston above). Also, do you think Hillary ordered a side of beef at lunch? I remember when she got chucked into a van like a side of beef at a 9/11 memorial ceremony:

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#neverforget

Caroline

I’m out on Caroline. She doesn’t have a dog yet, but can’t wait to find someone to “co-parent” a dog with. You would be a dog owner, not a parent. I bet she also can’t wait to “play house” with Arie. She’s going to be that girl that Arie tries to have a serious conversation with and can’t stop giggling while talking about how much fun they have together

Chelsea

Chelsea is boring and generic. Sticks out in no way. Not pretty. Not ugly. Thinks France is the most romantic city. Listed grade school sports as something she did competitively (read: unathletic). Likes warm weather, but not too warm. I don’t see anything here. I suspect an early pass (racing jokes) from Arie

Jacqueline

I’m trying to figure out who Jackie looks like. Right now I’m stuck on a poor (very poor) man’s Winnie Cooper:

I don’t think that’s the right answer, so I am open to suggestions. I also kind of wanted to look up Danica McKellar so I’m not mad. This will never work out though. She keeps talking about her career and how important it is to her. Career first women don’t win. They usually become the bachelorette. Not that I’m suggesting that will happen. Just that she has no chance

Jenna

Jenna is a social media manager from Indiana. Speaking of, I need to fire mine. When she eventually reads this post I expect https://twitter.com/thebachtweets to be updated with the new season flair. Jenna’s favorite show is Friends. I’m going to diagnose her as Monica. Looks like she is bubbly, can provide some comic relief when necessary, and probably has a nerdy brother named Ross that keeps finding ways to screw up everything with his much hotter girlfriend. How you doin’??

Jenny

Jenny’s most afraid of picking the wrong person to marry. I guess you can’t make that mistake if the bachelor picks you. She probably has nightmares about being the bachelorette. Many of her answers indicate that she’s outdoorsy and loves adventure. She looks just the opposite. Maybe her idea of camping is hanging out in a motor home watching netflix while a fire burns outside

Jessica

Jessica’s occupation is television host and I immediately couldn’t wait to look up which show. Then I saw she was from Canada, which isn’t real tv. Is Degrasi still on? But then I looked her up and it’s worse than Canadian tv host. She has a youtube channel called Jessica Carroll TV.......(So what if I watched the video ‘Get Pool Party Ready). So we have smoking hot girl living in LA that’s used to the camera. Guess who might get called out first for not being there for the right reasons

Kendall

I feel like Kendall has a drink in one or both hands of this picture. This chick is weird. If she could be any animal she went with bat. Most romantic gift was an alligator hand holding an iron heart in a jar because she collects taxidermy. As long as it wasn’t an alligator holding a human hand. Carl Weathers would have been pissed:

Krystal

Krystal is one of those fitness nuts. I feel like that’s a profession/hobby that never does well on this show either. She says she is most afraid of unused potential. Lol. She must moonlight as a life coach. Trying to remember back to when Arie was on the bachelorette he didn’t strike me as a real go getter. I feel like Krystal is going to push him to be better and Arie will end up channeling his brother in name and hit her with:

Lauren B

I think Lauren B goes far. Pretty girl. No weird answers. What is my first rule about going on this show? Don’t be weird. She has a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. By the way, whatever happened to Billy Blanks?

Lauren G

Lauren has the real descriptive occupation of executive recruiter. Her favorite tv show is ‘This is Us’. I’ve never seen an episode, but based on the people that watch it and from what I’ve heard it sounds like one long ass chick flick. It’s like tv networks needed to try and scoop up the ‘Parenthood’ audience that loves mushy feel good/make you cry stories and we ended up here. Those shows are the worst (And no, the bachelor is not the scripted reality version of those shows).

Lauren J

Lauren is honest. Asked if she’s neat or messy, she concedes to being messy. Doesn’t like playing games with guys, just tells them how she feels. Eats full meals in bed. Can’t live without mascara. She’s also 33 so no time to beat around the bush. I think she’ll end up getting super jelly when she sees Arie making out with other girls. I’m gonna say she ends up in the top 5. Arie wants a young girl to parade around for a little while. Lauren is probably trying to have kids tomorrow

Lauren S

The run on Lauren’s continues. We’ve got another social media manager on our hands. It’s funny thinking back to the first season of the bachelor and knowing how that job wouldn’t have even existed. When asked if she could be anyone in the world she went with ‘anyone in Taylor Swift’s girl squad’. You wouldn’t want to be....I don’t know....Taylor Swift instead? Not very lofty girls for this one. She’s an early out

Maquel

Maquel? Whatever. Guess we are just making names up at this point. Her favorite holiday is Halloween. She loves dressing up and creepy/scary stuff. I’m guessing she is more Cady and less Regina:

Marikh

Maybe the weirdest answer to a question that I’ve seen:

What? So you don’t want to accidentally confirm an incorrect assumption? Keep in mind that she was asked this question, had time to think it over, decided to go with that. I think Marikh might break down if asked where she wants to go to eat. “I love Olive Garden but I hate their breadsticks and salad and pasta so let’s go there”

Nysha

Nysha looks like she’s embarrassed to take this photo and have an official Bachelor headshot that will live forever. I don’t see Nysha doing real well this season. Her answer on favorite tv show and fictional character comes off as a bit “I don’t need no man”. Try not to make a scene when you don’t get a rose

Olivia

Olivia is 23. She looks even younger than that. Favorite book is 50 shades of grey. Not sure she was old enough to read that when it first came out. Do you think she secretly hopes Arie has a sex dungeon? Probably would have been a good intern for Matt Lauer.

Seinne

I’m going to guess that Seinne is this year’s Rachel (you know what I’m getting at). Favorite tv show is Game of Thrones. I don’t care for the show. Watched the first season and couldn’t believe I wasted that much time. Don’t get the appeal at all. If I hear Dilly Dilly one more time I’m going to fucking lose it

Tia

Tia could win this year, be the girl that everyone hates, or be the next bachelorette. I’ll know by the end of the first episode, but right now I have no clue. I’m looking for key things in her answers and she says ‘sassy’ as well as having gone to a swingers resort. I’m going to go with the one everyone loves to hate. But I reserve the right to change my mind

Valerie

Valerie is a server in Nashville (failed country music artist). She’s 25 and has over 50 Halloween costumes. Maybe she celebrates it multiple times a year. I just hope she doesn’t have that thick twang when she talks. That’s so annoying

There they are. The desperate fame whores looking to make their mark January 1st. I do wonder about airing the premiere on the 1st. I know there isn’t a ton of crossover between individuals when it comes to the bachelor and college football, but I can imagine a fight or two between couples when it’s the football semi-finals vs bach premiere. The game airs on ESPN which is of course owned by ABC’s parent company of Disney. I would suggest holding off a week but the national championship game is played that next Monday.

See ya after the premiere

- Nick

#The Bachelor #arie

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