#i usually don't find a character's sexuality notable enough to be written down
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oogh not really happy with this, but i finally drew rey, who is teddy's betrothed [lore dump in tags]
#i usually don't find a character's sexuality notable enough to be written down#but super important for rey#cause hes the crown prince and he kinda just accepted that he would marry a woman he'd hate and has been planning how he'd cheat on her all#his life#but turns out his betrothed is actually a guy so good for him#obviously doesnt know this for a while and is very confused about why he seems to be attracted to a woman#anyways he obsessively reads romance novels and dreamily sighs over like 50 shades ass books#he has three sisters a fact you can kinda tell from his vibes#he has like one friend and thats niccolo [nick] who has to listen to his confused sexuality crisis due to ''mia''#he's also just kinda a weird mess who is trying his best to live up to his title and its sorta working??#anyways i do love these ocs i should talk about them more#but i dont love drawing then#people should just ask me questions instead :]]]#klepto talks to himself#klepto rants about ocs#prince rey [oc]#teddy [oc]#klepto's art tag
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I'm the anon who said you don't glorify obesity. Look I don't know anything about that ship y'all keep referring to and I don't know who "Hunk" is or whatever, I'm talking in general terms. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SHIPPING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT just to clarify. I think it's wrong that people glorify being skinny but I don't think glorifying obesity is any better (I'm talking about more than overweight - ACTUALLY OBESE)
Iâm probably not explaining myself properly but I think people should be able to ship whatever they want, the shipping was never my point. I just think the way people on the internet have been going on like âFat women are goddesses!!! Real women have curves!!! If you donât agree youâre fatphobic!!!â is wrong. I have been hospitalized twice for anorexia, I know how being skinny is glorified but I donât think switching it around so it becomes âbeing obese is totally awesome and if you say otherwise youâre a horrible fatphobeâ is any better. Iâm sorry for sending you so many messages, Iâll stop now.
okay so GIVEN THAT WE ALREADY CLARIFIED OURSELVES ON THE MISUNDERSTANDING: the problem is that we were actually talking about shipping XD and the other anon decided it had to be about health but like the problem in general is that as usual (on tumblr and I guess in the US because itâs mostly US beauty standards Iâm seeing thrown around) is that thereâs no middle way in anything. I mean, like:
body shaming is a thing. in general. the problem is that fatshaming is, like, a thing that is more culturally spread than the contrary even if in some countries (ie italy) thereâs this concept that if youâre skinnier than a size 42 (I guess itâs like an S or small M) youâre omg so unhealthy please EAT SOME PUT MEAT ON YOUR BONES WHY DO U HATE GOOD FOOD, but itâs more of an older generation thing. like, Iâve had problems with weight bc when I was in freaking elementary school people would go like âomg youâre so fatâ at me and I thought I was and then I looked at some pictures years later and I was like â⌠wtf I was perfectly fine what the hellâ and thereâs a general implication that fat/overweight = unhealthy when itâs not necessarily the case.
the problem is that when it comes to body positivity there is like literally zero distinction between curvy, overweight, fat and obese which are not the same thing, and there is zero distinction between body positivity and promote a healthy lifestyle. I mean, according to US standards someone whoâs fat would be⌠like⌠normal here? a size M is seen as perfectly regular stuff but from what I see of US sizes, M is like OMG IâM FAT already, which⌠like. here itâs maybe curvy. also being some 3/4kgs overweight never killed anyone. but since I see ZERO DISTINCTION here, itâs all thrown in the same bag and itâs the exact same for people who have 3 kgs more than average, 10, 25, 50 or freaking 200. which is obviously not the same.
also, there is the complete lack of realizing what it means to be healthy and to not be thin. like, as has been said already itâs absolutely not a guarantee that being thin or skinny means that youâre healthy (I had a friend who used to be chubby, then got sick with a freaking chronic disease and came out of it with a body that ended up finding her a job as a fashion model but SHE STILL WAS HEALTHIER BEFORE THE FREAKING CHRONIC DISEASE), Iâve struggled with my extra kgs all my damned life and whenever I go on vacation with friends that are thinner than me but move around less or donât go to the gym and the likes I am the one who can walk for longer or gets tired less and I have better blood tests than my father whoâs at his ideal weight and takes five pills for a bunch of different stuff. some people are just heavier as a body type but if itâs their body and itâs not due to shitty eating or lack of exercise or whatever then theyâre not unhealthy. obviously severely obese people who canât walk for more than twenty minutes without feeling like fainting arenât in that category but like never mind that for a moment, the problem is that your size doesnât automatically mean unhealthy and having 20 extra kgs on you makes you fat maybe but not freaking obese.
THEN, on body positivity: there is a healthy difference between NOT BEING A JERK and spreading awareness re healthy habits. like, society/media and the likes shouldnât promote being thin, they should promote being healthy ie eating well and exercising, not THIN = HEALTHY. as stated you can be healthy without being thin. (or, as the character we were talking about that you werenât referencing, you can be mostly muscle and have some chub over it and THATâS NOT BEING OBESE XD at the same time, if someone is overweight or obese or whatever for any reason whatsoever you canât go at them and tell them omg go lose some weight you loser THATâS HORRIBLE. I mean, thereâs a difference between saying that one should try to be as healthy as possible and go like OMG YOUâRE FAT YOUâRE HORRIBLE. if body positivity means not shaming someone else for their body then go the fuck for it. the problem is that then according to people saying âokay but if you canât walk to the supermarket and back without feeling short of breath and you might get heart diseases maybe you should consider dropping some extra weight for your own benefitâ is fatphobic which⌠lolno. not everyone is fat because of bad habits and they shouldnât have people making them feel bad even if they are but assuming that the above sentence (especially when doctors recommend you to do more exercise) is inherently fatphobic imo is ridiculous. if my doctor tells me I should lose some weight then Iâm gonna consider it and Iâm not gonna feel like heâs *phobic*, if someone goes like âomg youâre so fat youâll never find a guy who wants youâ, that is fatphobic. like, THEREâS A DIFFERENCE. (at the same time people who are skinny/thinner than average shouldnât get told all the time OMG PUT SOME MEAT ON THAT SKELETON REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES like fuckâs sake respect all body types. being a real woman has zero to do with how much meat you have on you.) what should be glorified is be healthy and be happy with whatever body type you have as long as it doesnât cause you problems and at that point nicely try to make those problems right while youâre encouraged without shaming anyone in the process. (which also means: gdi donât put other people down if theyâre trying to gain weight or lose it, ffs.)
now, the problem with shipping: the thing is - and I swear to god I donât wanna sound like a sjw now but I hope the previous essay has made clear how I feel in general on this issue - that, in my experience, fat/overweight characters especially if theyâre male are seen as⌠either the laughing stock of the group or the harmless nerd or anyway never as sexual objects. every damned time I ship something where a guy is overweight/fat (notable exceptions jacob and queenie from fantastic beasts which tbh really was a nice surprise for the part where the fat guy whoâs also a sweetheart hooks up with the bombshell and itâs THE BEST ROMANCE OF ALL good go you man) right as rain thereâs rarely fic for it least of all porn, and even if there is someone will go around saying the fat character isnât attractive or deserving of getting some. when I say âsam tarly syndromeâ I mean âfat/overweight guy is a sweetheart who has a lot of nice ships they could be in but they get thoroughly ignored or if it happens in canon fandom lols at itâ. I mean, I basically had to start the jon/sam tag on my own (if you see the fics at the beginning itâs honestly sad to see TEN of mine all after the other), once on a kinkmeme I was like âokay doing itâ at a pwp prompt and I got as an answer OMG I WAS HOPING YOUâD SEE THIS NO ONE ELSE IN THIS FANDOM WRITES PORN FOR THESE TWO and whenever people discuss canon sex scenesâŚ. the only one in the book that always gets lol-ed at is sam and gillyâs in spite of the fact that okay, itâs badly written, but ALL of the sex scenes in asoiaf except one are badly written. itâs not worse than the average. but sam getting some because a relatively hot girl wants him and the sex - omg! - actually being somewhat not vanilla is seen as⌠like⌠OMG HAHAHAHAHA I CANâT BELIEVE HEâS GETTING SOME OMG HOW EMBARRASSING as if this guy being overweight means he canât be seen as a palatable partner when it comes to having a sex life. same as the other anon being like âomg hunk (the person we were referring) is fat and unhealthy so heâs not good enough for the other personâ is⌠exactly the same. I mean, this hunk character is admittedly the one person in that bunch Iâd actually date irl same as sam is the one character from asoiaf Iâd date irl the others are completely out of the question, but since theyâre *fat* naaaaah? and guess what sam/WHOEVER is a lot less popular than ships which make a lot less sense but are two hot characters stashed together bc theyâre hot. (jaime/sansa has like 300+ fics and jon/sam is still under 100 but okay sure tell me itâs because it makes no sense. lol no. and being that the only porn around for those two was written by me and maybe two/three other people says all.)
at that point then people go like âwell but itâs because theyâre unhealthyâ and that is when it becomes ridiculous. because going with the above problem re fatshaming being a thing that happens on a societal level, it becomes IF YOUâRE FAT YOUâRE NOT SEXUALLY DESIRABLE AND NO ONE SHOULD WANT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR UNHEALTHY WEIGHT, which mixes stuff that doesnât even go together with being sexually desirable which is something inherently personal. as in: if someone whoâs unhealthily fat for whichever reason has a significant other who loves them and their body guess what THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE A SEXUAL LIFE AND TO BANG PEOPLE/GET BANGED TO THEIR PLEASURE. because when it comes to preferences in the bedroom or loving a person, size can be a thing - some people have certain body shapes preferences and so on - or it cannot be a thing at all and anyway it doesnât matter when it comes to your right to be seen as desirable/being desirable. people of all sizes can be desirable or sexy or definitely sexually available regardless of the size - like everyone is freaking allowed to be sexually desirable even if they donât conform to whichever is the beauty canon around.
and given that I personally got told more than once also by admittedly well-meaning people that they wouldnât ever consider seeing me as desirable because I was overweight or not as thin as other hot person around our class or even better, the aforementioned friend who turned out to be a fashion model using that as some coping mechanism (as in, she didnât like being sick obv. but since she had come out of it with a scorching hot physique while I had then undiagnosed pcos so I was struggling with weight all the damned time and I was healthy otherwise... er letâs say that she used to tell me stuff like âah well look at you and look at me instead how much better looking I amâ which obviously was in order to make herself feel better about her illness but sure as hell didnât help me feeling good about myself), Iâm honestly fucking tired of this whole trend in shipping where overweight/fat people donât get any from their hot best friends with whom theyâre absolutely shippable but the hot friends get shipped instead with the most improbable hot people that happens in 90% of fandoms I run into. because itâs just a reflection of how irl if youâre overweight a lot of the time people will say that your weight puts you out of the goddamned dating field and everyone deserves to be in there, damn it, regardless of their size. it has nothing to do with being healthy or unhealthy. and saying shit like âomg X is fat theyâre not good enough for Yâ is really fucking old already.Â
 tldr: I hope I made clear why I got pissed at the other anon and what I think of the whole matter. obviously no one has to glorify being *unhealthy* (extreme obesity and anorexia are both unhealthy) and no one needs to put other groups down while doing it (looking at you n*icki m*inaj - like sorry but according to my standards sheâs thin, having a nice ass doesnât make you *fat* or curvy, and going like FUCK ALL THOSE SKINNY BITCHES is the exact contrary of body positivity tbh). but at the same time everyone deserves to be seen as sexually desirable and itâs bullshit that the current narrative depicts being overweight as something undesirable. both in society and in fandom.
/peace
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