roseband

[lottiecrabie]

Pfms Matty getting into a fight over girlies honor (maybe someone called her a prude for not putting out for them or smth) and he’s all bloody and she’s just *heart eyes*

no bc they’ve had their secret love affair but it’s ended somewhat terribly and heartbroken. now she’s seeing this guy that’s on paper perfect for her— some popular jock guy with a colgate smile. and matty is fine with that! whatever! if she’s happy with little ken then that’s all good to him!

they’re at the same party and no it Doesn’t hurt to see her nurse some sparkling wine and fade into the background, knowing full well that her first party, her first time getting drunk, her first sip of wine outside of church was with Him. and that when they were together — he uses it in the broadest terms, of course, because they never really were together — she would dance and laugh and chat. she’d thrown her head back with a giggle, snort into her solo cup, maybe even steal a puff or two of his cigarette and blow it in his face cheekily. take his hand and drag him to the upstairs bathroom and kiss his face off. whatever. he doesn’t care.

but he’s watching her and he’s starting to notice that dickhead’s hand around her waist and how he keeps Tugging her into him even when she slides away, keeps pressing his fingers into her ribs. notices the crisp smile she gives to his worshiping crowd gathering around him like he’s some sort of god. the way she flinches.

matty gets closer to them just to see. he waits around even when everyone else has left them alone, suffers through the disgusting wet sounds they make when they kiss. at least he’s safe in the knowledge that she doesn’t moan for that loser like she did for him. from the side glances he torturously allows himself, she barely even touches him except for a perfunctory hand on his shoulder, practically leaning away from him as he crowds her.

then he hears it. ‘i want you’ and ‘baby i need you’ and ‘you look so fucking pretty’. matty gags. but he keeps going ‘it’s painful’ and ‘i can’t wait’ and ‘cmon babe, at least your mouth’. matty sees red. his fingers dig around his beer. she says ‘no, tom. you know i’m not ready yet’. there’s some shitty side of him that’s elated to hear the words— she hasn’t been with anyone since him. isn’t ready for tom, but was so fucking ready to ride matty in his dirty car parked behind the school.

but then that asshole gets mad, like the fucking shit he is. ‘when will you be ready, huh?’ and ‘it’s been forever’ and ‘a guy has needs’ and ‘this is why you don’t date virgins’ and ‘you’re just such a fucking prude’.

matty’s pushing him away from her before he’s even aware he’s moved. ‘don’t fucking talk to her like that,’ he says, which tom obviously snorts at. ‘what’s your fucking problem? this is between us’. matty rises his eyebrows, ‘yeah?’ and punches him.

now, tom is taller and more athletic than matty. but he’s never been in a real fight, and matty doesn’t fight fair. he’s got him down on the floor, groaning in pain. matty stands up from him, his own ribs surely bruises, lip bleeding, a black eye coming on the way.

he turns to her, half in apology for involving himself like this, for being a reckless guy she can’t depend on. for being him. he expects some sort of horror, or anger, or plain disgust. instead, she gives him the same look she used to give him. the one when he knew she was about to find a ridiculous lie no one would ever contest because good church girl had said it, all to sneak him into some closet and jump his bones. thrill runs up his spine.

‘this has to stop,’ she said, crying. ‘we can’t— i can’t—‘ she shook her head, sniffling. ‘i’m sorry.’

it’s not a good idea. matty turns away, eyes fleeing her like he’s been burned. he steps over tom, walking to the door, rustling his jacket for a pack of cigarettes. he hopes the smell won’t remind him of her. hopes she’ll stop haunting him.

the door closes behind her. muted awful pop music follows him down the street.