#i used a reference to just sketch in my sketchbook and then i was like. what if loceit tho

[shelandsorcery]

So back in 2016 I decided to learn how to use gouache.

I already had some classical Russian academy style portrait painting training, but, in oils, back in 2012 and 2013:

gouache sure as hell doesn't glaze the same way. but it's been a fun journey! here's a record of some of the stops along the way.

2016 - started doing lengthy, and tiny (4x3"), photo studies, mostly of landscapes but also the occasional face:

then in 2017 i put photos away and just played with gouache for a year with minimal reference used, learning about the medium and learning a LOT about colour:

2018 was packed with freelance painting so i only snuck in a few proper studies, mostly still life work:

2019 saw me laid up on the couch most of the year so things were limited to digital iPad work mostly, with a few gouache sketchbook still life studies that really focused on pushing my control of the medium, not portraits:

2020 was a famously rough year but i did get back finally to my desk and my paint and my paper and started properly studying gouache portraits:

2021, i kept going, wrestling with anatomy and surface and value and temperature and just being both excited and frustrated by my gouache work:

2022 I think something started to click - between getting better at anatomy AND starting to see how gouache can be blended and worked up into lost and found edges:

in 2023 I really felt like I was getting somewhere! Painting bigger was making the drawing harder but I was really starting to get a feel for rendering different materials and surfaces with the gouache:

... and then i had my arm surgery and i couldn't make precise marks anymore. Early 2024, done with mostly my non-dominant hand:

and now almost a year later, I'm slowly relearning how to use my still-healing dominant hand make the marks i want, and it's so, so good to get back to gouache!

if there's one piece of advice I can give you if you're trying to learn how to do realistic rendering in gouache, it's this:

these rendered paintings take me three to 12 hours of work. i am not going to get a painting to this level of accuracy and polish in a single sitting. doing a good painting requires stepping away and refreshing my eyes and coming back; and it requires being willing to paint over entire features if they're wrong.

give yourself the time to take a painting to finish so you can see what you are capable of, figure out what you need to work on, work on that discreet thing as a separate sketching process, then come back and try another long study and see where you've gotten to.

painted a study from The Green Knight! took so, so many passes to get this much of a likeness.

earlier WIP:

[janus-logan]

what if they kissed

[pyrriax]

more lavius for today 💪 (wip possible new pfp? we'll see)

[sleepii-moth]

watching sketchbook tours makes me so sad because its not even like im watching things that have very curated pretty drawings in sketchbooks instead of messy stuff- its just. they have color in them, like they use paint and markers and washi tape and stickers and it makes me soo jealous because i love color i love using different colors and mediums and making a big mess and i wanna do what these people do too but i cant because i dont ever have this stuff with me when i use my sketchbook :( nor do i have the time to play with materials when im just doodling in class and im sooo upset

[ishizu-ka]

OTTS sketches! The main characters of this story are Ittetsu Ka, Author, Lord of Cotton, King of Winter & Nephelai Keyarah, Kindergarten Teacher, Botanist, Lady of Cotton, Queen of Winter

I've been having a lot of fun with character designing so much and feel like I'm really clearing away a lot of clutter in the story to maintain the main idea. love that focus, love that for me lol

Off To The Side is my way of focusing on cool palettes and introduces ways to deal with themes like abandonment issues, the struggles of optimism, symbiotic relationships and the fear of loss while playing with prevalent "lord + lady" tropes

+ baby Ittetsu idea! I've been wanting a "little prince with an asymmetrical bob" character and I was right and I love him his eye color changed to purple in the final draft.

[raiiny-bay]

baby kel :-)

[kn-rainbowblood]

I managed to draw!

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[abby-howard]

I'm going to be asking a lot of artists I follow this question, but how did you develop your style? It SEEMS like most people find their style and stick with it forever, just making improvements and iterations. I tend to work in a lot of different styles because I enjoy doing that, though I know there are things I gravitate towards as well. But I wonder what your journey was and how you got feedback and improved while staying true to what you enjoyed?

Hi there!

I definitely wouldn't say that I've found my style and stuck with it forever-- I feel like each of my projects has asked for a certain kind of art, and has presented new challenges that push me in new directions.

Some of that comes from seeing someone else's work and having something click into place that might fix errors/faults in my own, and then I might try to incorporate that, such as bigger outlines on my characters to help distinguish them from the background, or maybe a way someone else simplifies eyes that can help make mine look less weird.

When I first started drawing, I can see where I encountered certain influences because my sketchbooks suddenly switch to incorporating some new stylistic element that I liked from whatever I was reading/watching at the time. But it was never QUITE right, it was never just copying, there was always something ~wrong~ with it. And that wrongness was my style! As much as I hated it, that was what distinguished my art from being just a copy of someone else's. I hate it less now, and understand that other people see something there that maybe I don't, because it's just what happens when I filter other people's work through my head. My soul, if you will.

There are definitely through-lines with my work, driven by what I like drawing and what comes easily to me-- hatching is almost always a major component, and I like making expressive characters. Here's some of my earliest available stuff, from my old webcomic:

Then not long after that, I started The Last Halloween, which pushed me to challenge myself in both layout and style:

And here's the same comic, years later:

And here's a series I did for kids, where I had to use full color and lay off on the hatching, as well as learn how to reconstruct animals that we have no photo references for, which is definitely a place where style comes majorly into play, whether I wanted it to or not:

Then there was the horror book I did, where I tried to push my work to be less cartoony overall, and to work very hard on improving my hatching:

Then I started work on Scarlet Hollow, where I incorporated a limited/muted palette and had to once again push myself to make less-cartoony art, as well as learn more consistency so I could draw sprite sets. This was a big challenge for me, and has helped me grow as an artist so much!

And most recently, I wrapped up work on Slay the Princess, which required that I go back in the cartoony direction, but in a very different way than I was used to. This took a lot of sketching to figure out, and there's still a decent amount of artistic stumbling in Chapter 1 while I settled into it.

She's drawing on anime/Disney influence, but each Princess required a bit of stylistic variability. Some are more anime, while some are more realistic than even the Scarlet Hollow characters.

So I wouldn't worry too much, honestly! A person's style is often something that reveals itself over the course of their career, rather than something they choose and then try to stick to forever.

Even if you don't think you have a style, you do. It might vary a lot piece by piece, especially if you're trying to closely imitate another person's art, but the more work you do, the more you'll figure out your own strengths and interests!

[duckdodger]

this may be too much to ask but do you have a tut on how to draw turtles in the mm style?? (or just at all my ass is suffering. i need to draw tmnt but my brain doesnt know how :c)

Sure ! I’ll try my best to explain (I made one after the first tottmnt trailer came out it’s outdated so I’m remaking it)

If you’re talking abt mm movie style , I don’t think I’m skillful on them enough to make an art tutorial 😭💔they’re hard for me to draw too

Info on keep reading :D !!

- I take hundreds of screenshots + download promo art and a create collage of it , use it as a ref sheet. I study on the shapes , proportions , and style of each character.

- Then I pick an image from the pile to see if it’s a good pose (if not, I find poses from other resources to draw) or expression I want to use as reference for my drawing

- then I start sketching , adding the sharp details . Clean up on lineart and color later

Other Notes :

- Tales of the TMNT artstyle uses sharp sketchy lines to give it that sketchbook artstyle

- In some frames from the show, Their eyes are pentagon shaped & pupils are not fully colored in. Mask tails have different styles too

- Each turtle not only have different headshapes , they have different plastron shapes too (these are fugly examples I accidentally deleted the OG layer of this and had to redo it LMAO)

- Looking at Tales crew art also rlly helps! (There’s a lot of them on the #/talesofthetmnt tag on insta & twitter)

the Tales of the TMNT artstyle is easy to nail imo , it’s like more of a simpler version of the rise of the TMNT artstyle if that make sense ?? That’s how I personally feel lololol

If you never drawn TMNT before , just go slow on your art process , look at references, & take your time . Draw the characters in your own style first if you want :] just to feel more comfortable and less stress trying to replicate the iteration’s style . overall , have fun <3

I usually suckkk at these art tutorial stuff but hope this helps :D !!

[lilacgaby]

HEAR ME OUT What if reader has art block and asks to draw Bakugo-

katsuki would do anything for you.

get up in the middle of the night and get snacks? fine with him. breaking curfew to sleep with eachother? encouraged by him. letting you use his hands as reference? sure, why not?

so when you had been staring at the blank white of your sketchbook for like an hour, the eraser marks and dust all over his bed, he had finally had enough.

you'd been like this for a month already, so he put his hand in front of your face that had been looking for something, anything to just draw. “yo, what's y’r deal?”

you sighed. “nothing, that's the problem. i can't draw anything at all!” you slammed your head against the book, whining in frustration. “i can't think of anything, and when i do it just– i can't do it with my hands!”

“well then.. fuck i don't know. think about what inspires you or some shit.” he made mocking happy hands at his point, genuinely stuck at how to help you. he settled back onto the bed, looking at you.

you looked around his room, trying to find some inspiration in between the obscene amount of all might merch mixed in with that skull band he likes so much. flicking your forehead when you stare at your gorgeous boyfriend in front of you. who happened to be laying like a mermaid.

“stay still.” was all you said before your hands were struck by inspiration, scribbling sounds as you started to block out the basic forms of his body.

“fuck are ya doin’?” he asked, about to move when you put a hand out. “stay still! i'm drawing you!”

his face scrunched up but he didn't move, still as you finished up, the month of being stuck with nothing but dust bunnies in your head making you quick.

you pulled away, happy with you sketch. “okay, you can move now.” he rolled his eyes and moved over to you, looking at the sketch, nodding over it in approval. “‘s good.”

“i know right!” you smiled, getting out your pens to start inking it.

as you went to grab your pens, you came back to find your drawing vandalized.

katsuki now had comically huge muscles, his hero suit, and a stick figure of you by his side.

“now it's perfect.” he mused, snapping the pen he used back into its cap. “'cause you're in it.”

you appreciated the sentiment, but you thanked the heavens above that the pen was erasable.

[sukunasteeth]

Idk why but I think that Sukuna's s/o would be like, some kind of freelance or professional artist who'd use him as her reference/live model since he has a good built and whatnot without him knowing lol idk why but I just thought it was a cute idea and I wanted to share bc you're like my most favourite writer here on Tumblr who mains Sukuna and there aren't a lot of them so basically–ily and I hope you day or night is going well!!

–R

This came into my inbox so long ago T.T Please forgive me for taking a minute to get back to you but I wanted to write a little snippet for this one cause ily. Anon you are so sweet!! I'm so honored to receive this little message. Thank you for sharing your cute idea with me T.T I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed getting this message <3 Thank you for reading

You knew he would tease you.

You knew the moment he happened to see inside your sketchbook was the moment his ego became truly untamable. It was the moment that any ounce of mystery you had left crumbled into the shape of him.

If he knew that you studied anatomy by watching the way his muscles move under the laundry room lamp while he folds up your clothes at night. If he knew that your sketchbook was basically just a love letter written to the way his hands form around yours. Or the way his back muscles glisten with sweat when he comes home from his morning runs. If he knew that you had studied him so deeply that you could map him out down to the freckles that nobody else knows about, you're sure you would hear about it for the rest of eternity.

Which is why this morning, when you happen to wake up before him and see him fast asleep in the perfect position, you can’t help yourself when you grab your notebook and a pen and crawl back into bed with him. 

He was still curled up around your absent figure, his head tucked against the pillow and lowered just right so that his nose would have been pressed into your hair. Your current lesson in anatomy was his back, which you had an ideal view of. The muscles- perfectly symmetrical on either side, tightening and releasing under golden skin that's been kissed darker by the sun. And in the center: the valley of his spine, each notch a favorite place of yours to kiss. 

Every time you draw Sukuna, you fall in love with a different part of him. You admire him until all that’s left of you is nothing but a racing heartbeat. 

Racing especially when you happen to peek up at his face to confirm he was still asleep and you find his lion-like gaze already settled onto you. 

Uh-oh. 

You’re trying to act natural. Immediately folding the cover back over your sketchbook and turning slowly to try and slip off the bed without him noticing. 

Maybe he’s still half asleep. Maybe he didn't register you-

And he's already grabbing onto your ankle before you can even get an inch towards the edge of the mattress.

You don't know why you're not expecting him to ruthlessly drag you back to him, but you squeal when he tugs your knee out from under you and has you face-planting into the sheets. Sukuna doesn't seem to mind your squirming as there is no pause or hesitation in his movement. He barely even seems half awake when he lazily crawls over you and seats himself onto your hips, effectively stopping you from even thinking of an escape route.

"Why are you already running?" He yawns, his eyes slivered in a combination of suspicion and sleepiness. 

You try your best to appear innocent, clutching your sketchbook for dear life. This was the closest Sukuna had ever come to it while you were sketching him and it instantly had a sweat breaking out on the back of your neck. Despite your determination to remain unsuspecting, your voice catches when you reply to him, "I-I'm not running."

And that's all it took. One stutter, one second of hesitation, and Sukuna's eyes are widening in a flash as his pupils hone in on your expression. He always knew your tells, knew instantly when you were trying to lie to him. He took pride in it actually. It’s the reason you’re already half accepting your fate. 

His energy buzzes with excitement as he recognizes apprehension in your gaze. His smile flickering with anticipation.

"Oh?" He murmurs, closing in on your airspace. You can still smell the scent of manzanita wood in his shampoo from his shower last night. "And why are you nervous?" His voice is a silky hum.

"I'm not nervous." You whisper, trying to shrink backwards into the bed, trying not to provoke the bear.

It was too late. He’s been awake all of one minute and he was already going to play with you. 

"You know," Sukuna clears the sleep out of his throat, "This thing has been getting more attention than me lately.” You hold fast when his fingers wrap around your sketchbook and tug gently, as if to prove a point with how tight your grip was on it. “Why is that, I wonder?"

"Nothing gets more attention than you." You mutter, your dry look only worsening when Sukuna's smile grows all too knowing. “I’m just… trying to finish a commission for work.” 

"Do you usually blush when you’re working on a commission?" 

"Oh god,” You groan, “please drop it I beg of you."

“You first.” He challenges, tugging on the book once again. “I’d like to see what’s so important.”

“Sukuna-” You let out a surprised laugh when he wraps his hand around your wrist and starts to pry your arm away. “Waitwaitwait!”

There was no use in trying to win in a game of tug of war with him. Even though he’s just woken up, he’s impossibly stronger than you are. And while he’s usually carefully aware of that fact when handling you, he had no problem mercilessly grabbing your fighting hands into one of his own and pinning them uselessly above you. 

Your pleading falls onto deaf ears. Sukuna grabs onto the book, but before he can open it you manage to say just the right thing. 

“It’s private!” You squeak.

Sukuna pauses, his surprised eyes meeting yours like you had just called out your safe-word.

You know that you had probably just made him twice as curious as he was before about your notebook, but you weren’t ready to face the embarrassment of him finding out what was inside of it yet. It wasn't the time.

He rolls his eyes and before he releases you, his free hand reaches up and he gently flicks your nose. You flinch and he follows up the sting with a chaste but soothing kiss. 

“Cheater.” He mutters in defeat. With nothing left to toy with, he finally crawls off of you and heads towards the bathroom without another glance at your sketchbook. Before he passes the threshold, he leaves you with a request, but you can tell by the tone of his voice and the taunting smile he gives you that it was more like a new rule.

"No working in our bed after business hours, please."

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Soo ... How about a hannigram where the reader draws and paints too but never showed her drawings to the boys because she thinks they're not good enough, then one day Will accidentally finds them and I decided to show them to hannibal, how do you think they would react ?

!!!!!❤️!!!!!

———

Will found an errant slip of paper sticking out of one of Hannibal’s sketchbooks. Curious, he carefully pulled it out to examine it.

On it, he found a small collection of pencil sketches that seemed to be copies of Hannibal’s work. The lines were unsure and a little messy, but they weren’t bad at all. In fact, they had a surprising amount of detail.

He gently traced them with his fingers, frowning.

“Hannibal?” He called him over.

Hannibal walked over to his side, shutting the book he’d been perusing. “What is it?”

“These aren’t yours, right?”

“No… they’re not,” Hannibal said thoughtfully, inspecting them more closely.

From your spot on the couch, you glanced over at them curiously. When you realized what they were looking at, you were momentarily frozen with dread. Oh no.

You must have forgotten it last time you’d taken his sketchbook to practice. You leapt out of your seat and hurried over.

“Um, well, actually funny story but… that’s mine, yeah,” you said, reaching for it, your face warm.

Will pulled it just out of reach, not wanting to concede it yet. “You didn’t tell us you liked to draw.”

“It’s because I’m kinda new to it… been practicing whenever I can,” you said. “I didn’t want you to see it until I was better at it.”

“I was wondering why I’d seen graphite on your fingers so much lately,” Hannibal said. “I would’ve enjoyed drawing with you, and I could have taught you a couple of things myself.”

“Well, you kind of did. I’ve been using your sketches as reference all along…” you felt your face heat up even more and you covered it with your hands. “God I’m mortified! I should’ve just asked.”

“Aw, come on, give yourself some credit. These aren’t bad,” Will said. “I really think you’re on the right path.”

“It’s not up to par, though…” you muttered, uncovering your face.

Hannibal waved this off. “Who cares about that? What matters is you’re doing it. And besides, my offer to do it with you still stands.”

“And we both know how good a teacher Hannibal is, don’t we?” Will added, a slightly playful edge to his tone.

You smiled a little, feeling less discouraged. “You’re right about that.”

———-

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 8: Jealousy Doesn't Look Good On Anybody Except...

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter eight of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 4.1K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing (a few times), Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC,

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

The song they dance to is "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" by Russ Columbo and this should take you to the song. It's the song I named the series for, because I believe it encompasses how both the reader feels, but also how Soldier Boy will feel in a few chapters. I also believe that the song House of Memories by Panic at the Disco, fits the more modern parts of the series.

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Philadelphia 1938

The lights twinkled along the ceiling of the dance hall as the gentle swell of jazz floated through the air. Couples swayed on the dance floor clinging to one another as the soft tones of the music soothed the dull throb of the whispers of rising tension overseas. It was a Saturday night, and you and a few of your friends from the Dawson School for Girls had slipped away to spend the evening twirling in the arms of whomever caught your fancy.

Well, at least that's what your friends wanted to do. There was only one particular man who'd caught your fancy, but he was nowhere to be seen.

The Dawson School for Girls was the answer to your mother's prayers, a boarding school in Boston, far away from Ben's "corruptive influence" as she put it. Ben was currently at boarding school number ten in Upstate New York. The last time you’d seen him was when you were on break and Ben had just left boarding school number nine for fighting with other students, but he wouldn't say what for. You’d sent him a few letters to tell him how bored you were including a few sketches and watercolor paintings, with minimal response, but it was like him not to write back.

You hadn't mentioned that Howard Stine had been coming on the weekends to take you out. Your mother was pleased with him, he checked all the boxes: wealthy, not Ben, educated, not Ben, from a nice family, not Ben, and of course most importantly, not Ben.

She was practically making wedding invitations and choosing the names of your children after only three months. However, it was nice to see her happy for a change, kept her from sniping at your figure now that someone was interested. Well, not sniping that much.

Howard was… nice, but he was one of the most boring people you'd ever met and he never understood why you always carried a sketchbook with you. When he'd taken you to Franklin Park one weekend, you stopped along the pond to sketch some of the ducks that were waddling on the bank, but Howard told you he didn’t have time to wait for you to draw them. Instead of telling him that he could just leave, you shut the sketchpad and continued to walk with him and quickly learned that it was better to leave your sketchpad at the dorm whenever he was in town. You also found yourself talking less and less, allowing him to fill the silence with his talk of the stock market crash and how the United States economy recovered due to the efforts of President FDR.

You hated that. You didn't recognize yourself when you were with him. You didn't feel like you.

And every time he was here all you could do was compare him to Ben. Ben would never tell you to stop drawing, yes he would tease you about it, but he always sat next to you while you were sketching, watching you work. You never understood that. Ben was so impatient with everyone else, but he was willing to sit with you for any inordinate amount of time if you were drawing while making you laugh the whole time.

I miss him so much.

"Can I get you a drink?" Howard puts his hand on the small of your back, leaning in to whisper in your ear. You try not to flinch at his touch. He had already been in town, walking you home from a dinner that was dominated by awkward silence and the clicking of utensils on plates when you'd run into your friends just as he was walking you back to the dorm. They had rounded the corner giggling and begging you to come with them. Despite your insistences for him to stay in and relax for the night at his hotel, he refused.

It meant that now you were stuck with him while all your friends got to twirl around with men that made them warm and giddy. Howard made you feel like you'd swallowed a lemon.

"I'm fine, but thank you." You force a smile.

Howard shrugs, before he walks away towards the crowded bar on the other side of the room and blessedly far away from you.

Your thoughts drifted to Ben. You missed your friend more than words could comprehend. Not just because you were far from your family in another city, but because it felt like you were missing apart of yourself when he wasn't there. You briefly wonder if he felt the same way when he wasn't with you.

Probably not.

You turn away from Howard's retreating figure, to watch the couples on the dance floor. You sway to the music, holding your arms around yourself and feeling your dark green dress swish around your ankles, one that you'd picked out yourself, not a monstrosity of pink tulle, but something that you believed accentuated the natural curves of your body that your mother used other dresses to hide. Your mouth turns down into a frown remembering how Howard had reacted to seeing you in it, when he tried to give you his jacket to cover up, but you refused.

You had wanted him to be stunned by how you looked in it, or at least, wanted someone to be. The same someone that was miles away and probably tickling the skirt of someone who caught his fancy.

"One of the most attractive men I've ever seen in my life is at the bar." Your friend Pearl stated looking behind you with wide eyes.

I've got you beat. You think to yourself to a sigh, wishing, again, that you were here with Ben instead of Howard.

"Very funny." You roll your eyes, thinking that she’s making fun of where Howard is sitting probably flagging down the bartender with both hands to catch his attention.

"I'm not talking about Howard. This guy is seriously a looker. And he's staring at you." Pearl says again.

"Sure." You continue to watch an elderly couple sway back and forth to the smooth jazz that ebbs from the band on stage.

Must be nice to be with someone for that long.

You watch how effortlessly the couple moves as one, how the man stares down at the woman with more love than you can comprehend. It makes your heart sink in your chest.

The way things were panning out, you were going to end up with Howard and you couldn't imagine looking at anyone like that other than Ben.

"You're about to see, because he's coming this way." Pearl takes a step back from you as if anticipating the stranger interrupting your conversation.

"He's not-" You begin to say, but you feel someone place their hand on the small of your back, turning you towards them.

"Fancy meeting you here." Ben smiles down at you, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

"Ben!" Your heart soars when you recognize your friend and you can't help but hug him so tight he laughs, the movement of his chuckle makes you feel alive for the first time in weeks. The sharp smell of whiskey and the familiar spicy scent of his cologne greets you.

"Guess you missed me." The rumble of his voice vibrates where your cheek rests against his chest.

"I did." You pull away from him reluctantly. "What are you doing here?" You can't help but smile at him, probably wider than what was attractive.

"Thought I'd stop by and visit on my way back to Philadelphia. Saw you walk into this place. " Ben shrugs. "What are you doing out so late?"

"Looking for trouble." You smirk.

"You found him sweetheart." Ben leans down towards you making your throat get unusually tight.

"Hi." Pearl says interrupting the conversation.

 Ben turns his smug smile on her. "Hi."

"I'm Pearl." She looks from you to Ben as if trying to decide that it's okay for her to introduce yourself.

"Benjamin." You watch him slip into the cool and smooth Ben, the one that charmed whomever caught his eye.

You can't help but feel a prick of jealousy against your skin. It was familiar, but every time it happened, it didn't make any of this easier. You knew that you shouldn't be jealous, you didn't have a claim on him, you were friends, just friends, only friends, best friends…

And now you were with Howard.

You let out a soft sigh watching the way that Pearl looks up at Ben and the way he leans towards her with the confident smirk you love so much on his face.

"Would you like to dance Benjamin?" She asks.

"I would." Ben's smirk turns into a smile.

Pearl steps forward to reach for his hand, expecting him to take it, but he doesnt.

"Come on sweetheart." Ben reaches out and takes your hand, twirling you ahead of him onto the dance floor.

"Ben-" You giggle, head spinning with the movement, but when he twirls you back into his chest, you feel your breath catch. This wasn't the first time you'd been pressed up against him and it wasn't the first time you recognized how perfectly you fit together. Your soft curves molding against the hardness of his muscles as you sway back and forth to the music. When you were pressed up against him, you didn't feel like you were too big, you felt perfect, because of the way you fit against him.

"You know I am here with someone-" You say, before you get too wrapped up in how good it feels to be with him.

"Yes. Howard Stine. Though I do believe you said he stepped on your toes." Ben smiles at you, eyes twinkling in the light.

"That was four years ago, and he's… sweet?"

"Hmph." Ben rolls his eyes. "You can't even say it with a straight face sweetheart."

"I have never said anything bad about your companions."

"Missy-"

"Besides her." You frown.

He laughs at your reaction, the hand clutched in your right seems to warm with his smile. "You've never said anything about them period."

Because I hate thinking about how many of them there have been. Because I hate that you don't see me as someone who could be with you.

"I try not to dwell on your numerous escapades."

"You sound a little jealous doll." He smirks at you.

"What was that you were saying about Howard again?" You tease, holding on to his shoulders as you sway back and forth to the music.

"Can't be jealous of someone I've seen get chased by a duck." Ben's eyes trace your body for a moment. Your cheeks blush under his gaze. "You look nice. Not one of your mom's I'm guessing?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You don't look like a cupcake." He spins you away one more time before bringing you back into his chest.

"No. I think she'd probably have an aneurysm if she saw me wearing this. Howard also thought it was a bit much-"

Ben's hand tightens on your waist. "What?"

You shrug, leveling your eyes on his chest to distract yourself from his hand placement. "He tried to get me to wear his coat."

"He what?"

You shake your head to dissipate the self-doubt and body-shaming conversation that was about to unfold in your head.

"It's nothing." You raise your gaze back to his, but you're surprised to see the anger that burns behind his green eyes.

"It's not nothing. He had no right to-"

"Ben." You soothe, rubbing your thumb over his shoulder to comfort him.

The song shifts to something softer, forlorn, a song that reminded you of the heartache you felt with Ben, but also a melody that eases your soul somehow.

"I don't understand why you're with him." Ben sighs, but you can still feel the tension in his shoulders beneath your hand.

"My mother is happy-"

"But you're not." The look in his eyes is unfamiliar, almost earnest, as if he's trying to get you to understand something that he can't say.

"Ben." You breathe.

"Fine. I don't want you to think about him when we're dancing to our song anyway." The look in his eyes shifts back to the playful green they'd been before.

"Our song?" The words make your heart skip a beat and you can't help but smile at him.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd smiled this much. Probably the last time I saw him.

"Yes." Ben dips you back, before bringing you up against him, the playful look in his eyes becoming softer as you come back.

You know that your own gaze is filled with love and you remember watching the elderly couple. The way they looked at one another warming your heart as you gaze up at Ben. The three little words tiptoe against your tongue, the three little words that you'd been trying to say forever, but you can't. You don't want to lose him, don't want to live in a world without him, because you know that it won't be worth living.

So instead you lean forward and lay your head against his chest, in the space between his neck and shoulder as the song continues. You think that you feel Ben's arms tighten around you, pulling you further into his embrace, but you chock that up to wishful thinking.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" You hear someone yell, and all of a sudden someone's hand is on your wrist jerking you away from Ben.

What?

Howard is standing there his chest pushed against Ben’s, trying to look intimidating, but Howard's inability to reach Ben's shoulders made it difficult for him.

You rub your fingers over your wrist, where Howard’s bright red handprint stands out against your skin.

Ben’s eyes shift to notice your ministrations, darkening with the force of his anger at the thought that Howard hurt you.

“I think I was dancing with my girl.” Ben’s eyes narrow, skating back to Howard.

Your heart skips a beat when he says that, but you shake away the thought, knowing that Ben is only saying that to make Howard angry.

“Your girl?!” Howard sputters, his face growing red. “She’s not your girl!”

“Howie, buddy-“ Ben’s confident smirk slips over his features but you still see the anger beneath the surface. “Calm down, you’ll give yourself a heart attack.”

“Just because you think you have some claim on her because you’ve been stringing her along with the harem that usually follows you, does not make her your girl!” Howard fumes. “She’s with me.” Howard grabs your wrist again and drags you towards him.

“Hey wait a minute-“ You begin to say.

Ben grabs the front of Howard's tailored suit, rumpling the pristine fabric. “Don’t you dare touch her like that.”

“I will touch her however I damn well please! She's mine-"

The grip on your wrist is so tight that you know it’ll leave bruises. “Howard wait-“ You try again to diffuse the tension, bringing your free hand to rest on his forearm to make him let go.

“Shut up.” He snaps, eyes flashing back to you.

Ben’s temper flares and the sharp crack of his fist against Howard’s face echoes through the room. Howard stumbles away, letting go of your wrist as he reels backward to the welcoming hardwood floor that catches him when he falls.

“Don’t you ever speak to her that way you arrogant son of a bitch!” Ben shouts taking a step forward. His shoulders are tense, fists clenched at his sides and his jaw is tight, as his anger burns through the air.

By now the band has stopped playing music and all the couples around you are watching with wide eyes.

I have to do something before he kills him.

You put yourself between them, your hands firmly planted on Ben’s muscular chest so your back is to where Howard stands fuming. “Ben. Don’t.”

But he’s not looking at you, his gaze is locked with Howard’s, eyes blazing, muscles tensing beneath the palms of your hands. You try to ignore how good his chest feels beneath your touch.

Damn it.

“Ben.” You say his name again.

His eyes snap back to yours. The soft green has hardened to an emerald with the force of his rage, so different than how he looked when the two of you were dancing. But he doesn’t say anything.

“Please.” You whisper. "Stop."

Ben looks from you to Howard, before he finally exhales. “Fine.” He mutters, and he turns and vanishes into the crowd of people without another word.

A minute passes and the music begins all over again, the band on the stage starting with a lively tune that makes the couples around you to move back on to the dance floor, but the tension of what just happened remains in the air.

Because what did just happen? Did Ben do that because he was protective of me? Or did he do that because he was jealous?

Your eyes trace where he vanished, longing for him to come back, but when he doesn't appear, you're left to deal with the aftermath. 

After numerous apologies to Howard, he finally relented and took you back to your dorm, leaving your group of friends at the dance hall. You knew there would definitely be a conversation about what just happened between you all when they got back, but even you were confused. Ben was always protective of you, but what happened seemed over the top. You think about how Ben called you “my girl," the way he said it sending a thrill down your spine. He’d never done that before and you wondered if it was because he wanted to get a rise out of Howard or because he believed it.

Not like he’s tried to do anything about it. You think to yourself stroking one finger against your bruised wrist. The discoloration was more prominent now, black and blue marks beginning to sprout like flowers in spring. Howard’s eye didn’t look much better when he dropped you off. You were surprised that he’d been forgiving enough to continue to see you, not that you wanted to see him, but you didn't think you could handle a letter from your mother.

Then again maybe she would pull you out of this ridiculous school.

A small tap at your window causes you to raise your head to look out the glass. Ben is sitting there, but he doesn’t smile like he usually does. Your dorm room was on the first floor, which meant that Ben didn't need to shimmy up a tree to get into it like he did when you were home. Then again this was the first time he'd showed up here and you wondered how he knew where your room was. You also weren't thrilled at his appearance because you didn't know when Pearl would come back and you weren't sure what your roommate would do if she came back and found Ben in your room. She was a stickler for the rules and despite your friendship, rooming with her was one of your least favorite things about the Dawson School For Girls.

“If they find you here I’m going to be in so much trouble.” You say helping him through the small window, putting your hand on the back of his head so that he doesn't bang it against the glass. "You might like getting kicked out of boarding schools, but I don't."

“They won’t find out.” Ben rolls his eyes. He glances at Pearl’s empty bed on the other side of the room. “Roommate not back yet?”

“No she was still dancing when I left.”

Ben frowns. “Where’s the asshole?”

“Ben-“

“What?”

“He left. And I don't exactly invite him up to where I sleep."

“Good.” Ben flexes his fist.

“How did you know which room was mine?” You ask. Ben had never come to see you before at boarding school and the fact that he was here probably meant that boarding school number ten was out.

“I might have guessed wrong.” He smirks.

“Uh-huh.” You sigh, but all you can think about is how he acted earlier. Your feet shift back and forth “Why did you hit him?”

Ben’s eyes darken. “He shouldn’t have touched you like that or said that to you.”

You stand there for a minute observing his reaction.

“He kinda deserved it." You say slowly.

You knew it was true. When Ben showed up Howard shouldn’t have lost it like he did, he definitely shouldn’t have grabbed you like that or called you his-

You stutter on that thought. But maybe he is right. I am Howard’s. We’ve been going steady… The thought of being his makes something curl up in your chest and die. There was only one man that you wanted to belong to.

"Yeah.” Ben sighs.

"Why did you call me your 'girl'?" You ask.

"Um." Ben shrugs. "Felt right in the moment."

"What?"

"I mean you are. You're my friend-"

"But that doesn't mean friend Ben." You say it gently trying to catch his eye, but Ben won't meet your gaze.

"Fine. I just wanted to mess with him a little bit." Ben frowns. "But I didn't like that he called you his, or the fact that he hurt you."

“But Ben I am his.” You whisper even though you don’t want to. “We’re going steady-“

“That doesn’t make you his!” Ben snaps, eyes flashing. “Just because he feels the need to say it doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“But Ben-“

“And I never want to hear you say it.” He continues loudly.

What is wrong with him? I've never seen him this angry about anything.

“Why?”

“Because that means he has some claim on you. You’re not his, you’re my friend.”

"You're being ridiculous. You're saying that he can't have some claim on me but you're possessively calling me your friend!" You shout back frustrated.

Why is he acting like this? Does he really hate Howard that much?

"I am not! I'm just saying that you're my friend and you're not his!"

“I can’t be both?” Your words hang in the air between the two of you and you mentally beg Ben to answer. He was acting like he wanted you to be his, like he believed that he had some claim on you and you couldn't remember another time that he'd acted this way. Sure he teased Howard, but this was more than that.

It was almost possessive and it kinda scared you how much you liked it.

Ben doesn’t answer your question. His shoulders are tense, hands clenched into fists at his sides, while something lurks behind his eyes that you can’t identify.

“Ben?” You say it like a question, ignoring the urge to press your hands against his chest like you did earlier at the dance to calm him down.

His gaze drops to your arm, where Howard grabbed you, tracing the bruises and clenching his jaw together. Ben’s right hand comes to delicately pick up your bruised wrist, running his thumb over the discolored flesh with a frown. “Does it hurt?” He rumbles changing the subject.

“No. Does that hurt?” You breathe noticing his bruised knuckles and gently probe your fingers along them.

You hated the though that he was hurt and for you, no less.

Why did he have to intervene? Why did he hit Howard?

“It was worth it.”

You both stand there for a minute, with Ben holding on to your wrist, touch surprisingly gentle.

“I just don’t like that he hurt you okay?” He mutters raising his eyes to yours. You weren't prepared for the soft look in his eyes. You expected him to still be angry over Howard, but he almost looked, worried.

“I'm okay Ben." You whisper back.

You want him to answer your question. You think again about telling him those three little words you wanted to say when you were swaying on the dance floor together but you can’t.

He nods once before he looks around the room, eyes falling on your sketchpad where it lays closed on your bed. "Got any new ones?"

You knew it was Ben's way of asking if he could stay, trying to tell you that he didn’t want to go back to Philadelphia that night, and you didn't want him to either.

"A few. If you're not too tired-"

"I’m never too tired for you."

You feel your heart beat rapidly in your chest. “Okay.”

The whole time you sit together on your bed, Ben doesn't drop your wrist, in fact he continues to brush his thumb against it while you look through your sketchbook. And in a few hours when Pearl finds you and Ben curled up in bed together, you’re not embarrassed, because deep down you’re starting to believe that Ben cared for you more than he was willing to admit.

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series, please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126

[moonferry]

*rubbing hands together like a gremlin* you guys want some stardew headcanons thst have been rotating in my mind like a gas station hotdog? no? well here they are anyway.

* leah has a sketchbook full of candids of people from town. if you choose to romance leah, she has a LOT of sketches of the farmer

* sebastian is trans masculine/nonbinary and uses he/they pronouns

* leah is actually robin's younger sister & moved to pelican town because robin had mentioned how peaceful it was

* sandy is trans feminine (she's also soo wife)

* abby would've absolutely loved among us

* maru secretly has a crush on penny

* jas makes shane play dress up. he acts annoyed but enjoys spending time with jas

* clint is an avid reddit user . do with that what you will.

* i think abby majored in political studies or graphic design

* harvey has a tooth gap and freckles

* elliott has DEFINITELY recreated the fork-hairbrush scene from the little mermaid

* harvey is allergic to cats but he powers through for the farmer

* abby DEFINITELY uses tumblr

* harvey has a little plane nightlight. not because he's scared of the dark but because he thinks it's cool. if you romance him, he puts it in the child(ren)'s bedroom.

* elliott wears hair curlers to bed.

* penny has a collection of drawings that jas and vince made for her. she puts them on her fridge.

* sam is an android user (and yes, it's purely because people kept calling him "samsung")

* wlw haley. that is all.

* haley takes pictures and sometimes lets leah borrow them/use them as a painting reference

* sebby with top scars. ooogh.

* maru has a cluster of freckles on her shoulder shaped like the little dipper.

* abby dyes her hair & once did all rainbow and cosplayed rainbow dash.

* the farmer and haley often call and have late night gossip sessions

* sam's phone wallpaper is a really zoomed in or a 0.5 photo of the farmer / whoever is his partner

* sebastian types in all lower case

* sam types in all caps.

* i think it would be really funny if seb just had sam in his phone as Samson (that grammar and everything) just because it's so unlike his usual typing and he does it to piss sam off

* it's no secret that sam is very forgetful, however i think this helped him become friends with penny. penny is very organized and has every important date (ie birthdays) memorized. --- she NEVER forgets a birthday. --- one day, penny heard sam repeating a phrase to himself so he wouldn't forget what he needed to do. penny encouraged him to write it down and even showed him how to write on a rubber band. sam adopted this and everytime he sees penny he'll smile widely and hold up his wrist (which will have anywhere from 6-10 rubber bands at the time. poor boy).

that's all for now. i may add more later idk. let me know if y'all want me to rack my brain for more of these

[deezligmanuts2]

Hii can I request headcanons with MTMTE Rodimus, Drift & Ratchet with an artist human reader? Romantic btw tysmm:))

ARTIST READER HCS!!! (EYAH—)

Rodimus

●Hits you with the "Paint me like one of your French girls😏"

●If you draw him he hangs it on the wall of his office.

●+5 Rodimus stars

●Gets jealous when you draw other bots..

●"BABY I'M RIGHT HERE!! Isn't my sexy frame worthy of a portrait??" he says this with his back arched in berth.

●Won't pressure you to draw him tho (he will SOMETIMES but he doesn't mean it he swears)

●Takes little peeks into your sketchbooks without you noticing :3

●Throw away an art piece?

●"Rodimus why is my unfinished sketch glued onto the wall?"

●"It's perfect. Just like my babyy :33"

●LOVES MODELLING FOR YOU!!

●He buys you all the art supplies he can find during alien planet pitstops :3

●Unintentionally calls you a drawer

Drift

●Watches you when you work and often comments on the piece

●"You think blue would be more fitting for the background?"

●"Oh yeah!"

●When you ask to draw him he's still as a statue, mech is a rock.

●Will not move when you're drawing him, the ship could be burning for all he cares, HE IS NOT MOVIN DAWG🙏

●Swords shined and everything👌

●Will let you use his crystals as references if you're drawing a scene.

●Gets you those mini pose-able mannequins for pose references (will not hesitate to be said mannequin if necessary.)

●Lays his chin on your head if you're in his lap while drawing :)

●Keeps drawings you gave to him in a frame at his desk or on his wall <3

●Swats off anybody pressuring you to draw!!

●Will by all means necessary get you out of your art blocks.

●Also unintentionally calls you a drawer.

Ratchet

●Okay.jpeg

●Will scold you about your posture when you're drawing

●Keeps all the drawings you made him in his subspace

●NEVER IN THE MEDBAY

●Not that he's embarrassed of it but because he knows that some bots will poke at you to draw them.

●He no no like dat.

●Overall, he's pretty chill abt it.

●Lets you draw him while he works

●Has to tell off his patients when they move to pose for the drawing lmao-

●Everyone who's visited the medbay knows you.

●Some get hurt intentionally just to get a sketch of themselves

●He has now temporarily banned you from drawing in the medbay.

●Will correct anyone who calls you a drawer.