#i use this gif a lot for eva beating up literally anyone

[parkersbliss]

Press Week | T. Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland X Famous!Actress!Reader

Warnings: no-no words maybe?? sexual innuendo, lots of fluff, lost of dialogue, a lot of 1D references but you probably won’t see them

WC; 3K

synopsis: just three times you and Tom were too adorable during press week

a/n: I had too much fun with this, tbh these are all based of actual interviews so don’t come for me

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

"I'm Tom Holland."

"That does not sound like me!" Tom protests, mock offense displayed on his face.

"You're right, you're right, my bad. Okay, let me try again," You said, coughing you slap your chest a few times. "I'm Tom Holland!" You said using your best British accent and high pitched voice.

Tom smacks his lips together, rolling his eyes, "And I'm (Y/N) (L/N)!" He said, making sure to do an over the top impression of you.

"And we're answering the internet!" You announced, lifting a jar full of paper slips to the camera. You pull out the first piece of paper, reading it over yourself, thinking over an answer before saying it out loud, "What's your guy's go-to date night?"

You and Tom both look at each other before turning back toward the camera, "Netflix and cuddles."

"Not chill," You clarified, "this is a family-friendly show, Netflix and cuddles."

"Although," Tom objects, "sometimes we chill," he winks at the camera. You slap his arm for the comment and he yelps in pain, "Kidding!"

"Moving on." You hand the jar to Tom and he rummages around a bit before pulling out a random slip of paper.

"What's the worse feeling in the world?"

You pause, tapping your chin as you think. "Oh! Do you know when you're like really excited to get an apple and you go and get it and you're expecting it to be all crisp, juicy and sweet and instead you bite into it and it's kind of soft and a bit dry?"

Tom bursts out laughing next to you, burying his head in his hands as his body shakes with laughter, "oh my god, I love you," He spoke.

"I love you too?" You said although it came as more of a question. You weren't quite sure why Tom was laughing so hard, you were being serious.

He gathers his composure, wiping a few tears from his eyes, "Okay, so now that my girlfriend gave her ridiculous answer."

"It's not ridiculous! You asked and I answered," You interrupted, crossing your arms. Tom rolls his eyes, patting your knee gently.

"The worse feeling in the world for me does not have to do with food," He makes sure to give you the side-eye at the comment, "It’s when (Y/N) gets mad and I'll tell her to 'calm down, baby' I made that mistake once and I never will again."

You nod your head, giving the camera a serious look and pointing a finger, "Seriously don't tell your girlfriend or boyfriend that or they will strangle you."

"I've experienced it firsthand," Tom backs you up, "It's not my preferred method to be choked."

The whole room goes silent and you can feel your cheeks burning up in embarrassment at his comment, of all the things that come out of his mouth he had to say that? Tom glances at you, scratching the back of his neck, he mumbles a sorry and quickly hands you the jar of paper. You’re quick to pull out another question to change topics, "I simp for Tom's biceps any day."

Tom wiggled his eyebrows, flexing his muscles at the camera and you giggle, wrapping an arm around the muscle, "Honestly, me too."

Tom smirks, flexing a bit more and you gasp, making dramatic camera motions as he goes.

"What's the next question, lovie?" he asked.

You dig into the jar pulling out a slip, "How can I die for Tom Holland without being dramatic?"

Tom blushes, letting out a soft chuckle, before looking down at his converse and back toward the camera, "I don't know, maybe just don't die for me?"

You pat Tom's shoulder, flashing an apologetic smile at the camera, "Sorry, he gets flustered easily."

Tom scoffs, swatting your hand away, "do not."

You quirk an eyebrow at him, but say no more and read the next question to yourself, laughing.

Tom looks over your shoulder, before you fold the paper up again, "What? What is it?"

"How can I be (Y/N)'s new boyfriend?"

"Absolutely not!" Tom screams, ripping the paper from your hand, crushing it as you laugh, almost falling off your seat.

"She is perfectly happy with me!" He huffed, chucking the piece of paper offset as you continue to giggle next to him.

"Position already filled," You told the camera, leaning over to press a quick kiss to Tom's cheek.

"I think I’ll be picking the next question." Tom takes the jar from you and pulls out the next one, "If you guys could date anyone else in the world, without offending the other, who would it be?"

"Louis Tomlinson," You said, not missing a beat. At the same time, Tom says, "I wouldn't."

"oh shit," You giggle, biting your lip as you look to Tom.

His mouth falls open as he tosses the paper aside, "Of all the people and you pick my favorite member of One Direction?"

"Well, he's your favorite for a reason, no?" You counter.

"The man's got great hair, I won't lie. He's funny as hell, but I'd like to think my girlfriend prefers me than an ex-boy band member."

"It was a hypothetical question," You reassure him before adding, "but Louis if you're watching this my number is-"

Tom slaps a hand over your mouth, "Don't even think about it."

You stare at Tom, looking back down at his hand and he catches on quickly, "babe," he warns.

You giggle before licking his hand and he retracts it quickly, wiping it down, "Babe," He whines as you laugh.

"We're very professional," You point toward the camera, smirking as Tom continues to wipe his hand on his jeans.

"That's why they put us in this interview together," Tom said, still wiping his hand.

"Anyway," You take the jar back from Tom. "While my boyfriends freaking out because I licked his hand and I literally kissed him this morning, let's move on to the next question." You slip your hand in the jar, mixing up the paper a bit before picking out a random one, "PLEASE bring back the bed selfies."

Tom laughs, "See here's the thing, I would, truly, but (Y/N) doesn't like when I post myself shirtless and I quote, 'looking like perfect boyfriend material.'"

You scoff, "Priorities, Tom, Priorities. I'll let you post them when I get to be cuddled in your chest as well."

Tom shrugs, looking into the camera, "that can be arranged."

...

"We have some very special guests here with us today," The host said, causing all the fans to clap and cheer. "You might know him as the fishbowl man, but ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jake Gyllenhaal!"

The crowd claps as Jake jogs onto the stage, he stands arms open as he accepts their applause. He makes a more motion with his hands, to which the fans obey. He laughs, taking a bow as he takes his seat on the far end of the table.

"Next up we have the man, the legend, the one who plays your favorite sixteen year old from Queens, Mr. Tom Holland!!"

The crowd loses their mind as Tom strolls onto the stage, he stands, blushing, mouthing thank you as he bows repeatedly, blowing a kiss to the crowd while flexing a muscle. He takes his place next to Jake, tapping his microphone, "I'd like everyone to give a warm welcome to our other new member, you may know her as Eva Rose, but to us, we call her (Y/N) (L/N) or as I like to say, my lovely girlfriend," he winks.

The fans cheer, clapping and screaming as you take the stage. You smile, waving back at them and blowing a kiss, doing a little shimmy to your seat, where Tom pulls you down for an innocent kiss that makes the fan scream.

"I'd like to welcome our next guest, my best friend, and a walking goddess Zendaya!" You said into the mic. She struts onto stage, doing a little twirl as the fans cheer. She waves, grinning as she bows and takes her place next to you.

"And finally, we have, everyone's favorite, the only reason you want to see this movie, Jacob Batalon!" Tom grinned, waving his best mate on stage. Jacob runs on, fanning himself in mock excitement, laughing as he takes the last seat.

"Hey, guys! How is everyone?" The interviewer asks.

"We're good!" Tom said, waving to all the fans, "happy to be here."

"So this your second movie and obviously the cast has changed a bit, can you tell us what it was like working with them?"

Tom nods his head, looking toward Zendaya and Jacob, "Um, I think it was a really cool experience working with (Y/N) and Jake. It was kind of surreal to be working with such big names in the business, ya know? I met the love of my life on set too, so that was kind of a big plus."

You shrug, leaning into the mic, "it was just a big plus, that's all it was."

"Trust me, you didn't want to be on set when (Y/N) wasn't around. All Tom would do is gush about her for hours on end. I thought my ears were going to fall off," Zendaya pipes up, laughing as Tom goes red in the face.

"He got the girl, didn't he?" Jake asked.

You nod your head, "I think he did, not quite sure."

Tom swings his arm over your shoulder, "No I definitely did."

You look up at him, taking the chance to press a quick kiss to his lips and he hugs you a bit closer. Jake rolls his eyes as Jacob and Zendaya fake gag.

"You should've seen them on set, it was horrific."

The interviewer laughs, "I assume that means you guys have some embarrassing stories to tell?"

"Plenty."

The interviewer goes around asking questions about the movie-making process, filming, stories from the set, and questions from fans. You unscrewed the lid to your water bottle, taking a sip and Tom uses the opportunity to gently tilt it upwards, causing more water to come out. You cough, wiping down the water that drips down your chin as you glare at Tom. He smirks, giving you a coy smile and you have to resist the urge to slap it right off his face. A few fans had noticed the interaction and were pointing to you two, giggling. You lean over, whispering in Tom's ear, "I'm going to get you back for that."

He turns toward you, covering his mic, "I'd like to see you try."

"If you could play any other character, who would you want to play?" The interviewer asks.

Tom uncovers his mic, leaning in to answer, "Um, I think I'd like to play-"

You poke him in his cheek and he turns his head toward you, "yes?"

"Nothing carry on."

"As I was saying I think I'd like-"

You poke him again.

"Babe."

"Nothing."

He continues speaking and this time you let him go a bit longer before yet again, poking him in his cheek, this time he continues, swatting your hand away, only restoring in you poking him more as he continues to try and speak.

"I'm sorry," Tom said, "My girlfriend is making it very hard to answer."

You smile sweetly, "No one cares what you have to say anyway. I'd love to play MJ."

Zendaya laughs, "I'd like to play maybe... Shuri could be a lot of fun."

The interviewer moves on to some fan questions, handing them mics so they could talk to you.

"Hi my name is Isaac," One of them said.

"Hi, Isaac!" You all chorused.

"I'd like to first say I love you, (Y/N)."

You place a hand on your hear, "I love you more."

Isaac laughs, cheeks tinted a fair shade of pink.

"Seriously," You add.

Tom sits beside you, pointing to himself, giving the audience a quizzical look, "look like she's moved on already," He pouts.

You roll your eyes, "I'm sorry, Isaac. Tom's quite clingy."

Tom grabs your hand in his as if to prove your point. He kisses your hand softly.

Isaac chuckles, "my question is, do you ever get jealous of Tom and Jake's marriage?"

Jake bursts out laughing, slamming his fist down on the table as he regains his composure, "That was the best question ever."

"Um, no, no, I don't get jealous. It's hard to when you're just the side chick," You replied.

Tom's head is buried in his hands as he and Jake laugh.

"See what I mean? There was never a competition, Jake already won."

...

Tom held a small bin in his hand, full of tiny slips of paper, "So it's like charades, but with words?"

The interviewer nods, "Right, so there's something on the paper and you have to describe it without saying anything on the card, you have five minutes."

"I can do that," Tom muses, "can we start?"

The interviewer nods and Tom pulls out the first piece of paper, reading it to himself, Your first date.

"Um, it was you and me," Tom starts, "we were on set, in my trailer and we ordered some crappy pizza-"

"Our first date?" You asked. Tom nods throwing the paper away.

"I thought the pizza was quite nice," You mumbled.

Tessa

Tom makes a barking noise, not even looking up from the paper as you immediately said, Tessa.

Tom breaking his nose

"Okay, this happened to me once on set this year. It has to do with my facial structure, it happens more often then I'd like."

"Face fillers!" You said.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. I've done this about three times, it normally involves blood and bruises, the directors hate when it happens..."

You think about it for a bit, staring at Tom's face, "Oh, you breaking your nose!"

He nods, grabbing the next paper. (Y/N)'s iconic premiere look.

"You do break it a lot, your poor nose."

He shrugs, "'s fine now, hospitals work magic."

"It's actually my kisses that heal his nose," You corrected.

Tom nods his head, smiling up at you, "Okay, um, my girlfriend, she went to a thing and was dressed in like a-"

"My red carpet look?"

He crushes the paper, "You did look gorgeous, lovie."

"I know."

"I don't know why I even bother with compliments."

First kiss

Tom thinks about it for a bit, before tapping his lips gently and holding up his pointer finger. You tilt your head to the side, before leaning in to kiss him softly. You pull back only for Tom to grab the back of your neck and bring your lips against his again.

"Wasn't asking for a kiss, baby, but I won't complain."

"What is it then?"

He taps his lips again, "We were on set, having a funny face competition and you made a duck face and I thought you wanted to do a thing and so I did a thing."

You burst out laughing, "our first kiss?"

Tom grins, cheeks dusted pink, "yeah."

He grabs another piece of paper, Tom spoiling movies.

"Marvel hates me because of this."

"You spoiling movies."

(Y/N)'s strange love for apples

"We were in an interview and I asked a question and you immediately replied with the most ridiculous answer ever-"

"Apples."

When (Y/N) stepped on a snake

Tom laughs, taking a minute to calm down as he remembers the vivid memory, "We were in Australia, on our way back from the beach and there was an ssssss."

You stare at Tom as he does an impression of a snake, making a hissing noise and moving his hands and head in a (what you assumed) was a slithering motion. If you were being honest, you knew exactly what the card said but you quite liked Tom doing an impression of a snake, "when I stepped on a snake."

He snaps his fingers, "yes!"

"In my defense, the snake was the same color as the sidewalk and It didn't make any noise, but uh, it was pretty scary, it hissed and I ran."

"I've never seen her run so fast in her life," Tom added, "I almost couldn't keep up with her."

Tom's fear of spiders

"It's ironic, I'm terrified of what I am."

"Your fear of spiders."

He pulls the next card, "You for some reason think this guy is better than me-"

"Shawn Mendes? Harrison? Niall Horan? Dylan O'Brien?" You list off on your fingers.

Tom hides his face in his hands, "oh my god."

"Oh! It's Jacob!"

"I don't know why I bother with you."

You giggle, grabbing one of his hands to hold, squeezing it gently, "Is it Louis Tomlinson?"

He tosses the paper to the side and you kiss his cheek, "I only think he's hotter."

"Gee thanks, babe."

"I love you," You whispered, making a kissy face. He sighs, leaning in to press your lips together, noses brushing.

"M'kay, sure you do," He mumbled, grabbing the last few pieces of paper.

"You guys have five seconds left," The interviewer announces, startling you both.

Tom blinks, looking down at the few pieces of paper in his hands, "I shouldn't even bother, should I?"

You shake your head no and he looks to the interviewer who gives him a thumbs up to keep going.

"My best mate, he went to go get us something and he came back and managed to make a mess."

"That's extremely vague, but I'm guessing when Harrison spilled coffee all over himself?" You inquired, Tom tosses the paper in which you take a sign that you were right.

Tom nods, grabbing the last piece of paper. He gets down on one knee, gently taking your hand in his.

"Oh! You and Jake’s marriage."

He nods, getting back up and sitting next to you. He tosses the now empty bin behind him.

“Man, you’re so lucky to be married to such an amazing guy.”

Tom shrugs, smirk playing on his lips, “I guess he’s alright, would’ve preferred someone else though.”

You gasp, bringing a hand in front of your mouth, clearly displaying the diamond ring on your finger. Tom looks at it, shrugging as he turns to face the camera. You wink, blowing a kiss, making sure the diamond reflected in the light, “oh really, who’s the lucky person?"

Tom winks, holding up your interlocked hands, two rings set on each, "Who knows?"

— End —

🏷 Tom Holland Taglist: @honeybittersweet @cams-lynn @runway-to-my-aid @peterspideyy @yoinkyourheart @t-monosapiens-h @hollandsamor @quaksonhehe @imanativeofswlondondahling @jillanaholland @keenmarvellover @lexysclubhouse

strike through- can’t tag you

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

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DAVE: 'n tha middle of whizzat

ROZE: A sizzles of heartfelt convizzles of a personal nizzle.

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DAVE dogg: um

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DIZZY paper'd up: yeah dawg kanaya ta tha rescue wit smizzle shizzit ta say as usual

ROZE: Uttizzle destroyed again, by ha superizzle senze of rizzle n decorum fo gettin yo pimp on. ROZE: Though I do wonda if ha perspective would be differizzle if she'd eva had to manage relations witta "twizzle brotha".

DAVE: Anotha dogg house production. ok but who cares 'bout T-H-to-tha-izzat DAVE: so roze DIZZY, ya feel me? its our mom DAVE: hizzey mom

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DAVE: Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. so mizzy DAVE: im jizzay go'n ta jizzle right into tha fuckin fry'n pan hizzy DIZZLE: lizzike tape off a no bizzle zizzle fo` a wizzy DAVE: if thats ok

ROXY: a frying piznan 'n tha no bullshit zizzle?? ROXY: siznounds intizzle ROXY: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. whizno be mann'n dis pan n who gave him clearance fiznor tha no bs zone

DAVE: captain Serizzles be at tizzy pan n he gots the go-aheezee frizzom lieizzle Dizzy Fuckarizzle of tha Heartattack Armada

ROXY: isnt lieutenant a motherfucka rank than captain ROXY: who pizzy dis diznude 'n charge of such an important pan

DAVE: um i diznont know maybe it be? D-TO-THA-IZZAVE gangsta style: ok like its coo' that you even know that fizzle bizzy dis be exizzle tha kind of fuckery tha no bs zone doesnt cotton ta no matta what sizzorta cookware be involved or whizzle pseudomilitary organization regulates its drug deala DAVE: i jizzle have some questions 'bout you n 'bout stizzle 'n general so ratha than mumble thriznough a conversation that S-to-tha-izzounds mostly lizzle tha stuff we literally just gots done sayin, sizzy though thizzle W-to-tha-izzould be, im gonna machine gat some shizzle at you sippin' rizzound stylizzay

ROXY: a mizzle gat lightn'n rizzound 'n a frying pan! Boo-Yaa!!!!! ROXY: god.........DAMN

DAVE: i know right? DIZZAVE: so DAVE: yizzle be mah biological motha

ROXIZZLE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. yiznes

DAVE: n rozes

ROXY n we out! yes

DIZNAVE: n therefore bear at least partial n lizzike biologically incidental responsibility fo` why we be both so fucked up

ROXY mah nizzle: yes

DIZZAY yaba daba dizzle: but you yourself be a paradox clone

ROXY: um... i guess? You gotta check dis shit out yo.

DAVE: which M-to-tha-izzeans DAVE: yiznou dizzidnt even have bio parents DIZZLE: you originated frizzom yoself

RIZZLE: guess so to increase tha peace!

DIZNAVE: so you really dizzle have anyone ta blame fo` who yizzy be excizzle weirdly n paradoxically yoself

ROXY: um.. y cuz this is how we do it.. yizzes? ROZE, niggaz, better recognize: Dizzave.

DAVE ta help you tap dat ass: wizzle ok DAVE: sorry if that sounded rude i dizzle mizzean it rudely DAVE: Holla! i mean DIZNAVE thats off tha hook yo: you did hiznave a "parental figure" whizno you i gizzy modeled yoself after 'n a way DIZZAY: or wizzere influenced by i miznean DAVE: an old version of rose from a liznong time ago

RIZZLE fo all my homies in the pen: yizzay!

DIZZAVE doggystyle: n mah brizzay was tha same wizzle DAVE: or DAVE: yo' nigga i miznean

RIZZLE: dirk!

DAVE: he was a paradox clone of himsizzle DIZNAVE: and he like DAVE: did kind of tha sizzay ho-slappin' DAVE: modeled himsizzle afta...

ROXY: ... Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit.

DAVE so jus' chill: why dizzont we nizzot rap about dirk DAVE: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. can we change tha subject

ROXIZZLE: you brought him up!!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: i kizzy DIZNAVE: i knizzle DAVE: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. look DAVE: i br'n up a lot of th'n DAVE: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. and then have ta back trizzack a lot of those steppin' i br'n up DAVE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: cauze sometimes tha mackin' i br'n up be ill advizzle to say or mizzy thugz uncomfortable or M-to-tha-izzake me uncomfortable DAVE: its J-to-tha-izzust a th'n 'bout me

ROXY: ooh! ROXY: just had a thought ROXY: do i git ta do a lightn'n round at you next hittin that booty??

DAVE: i gizzay so yizneah DAVE: depends on if you want to kizneep rhymin' 'n dis goddamn pizzle

ROXY: hmm i dunno ROXY fo gettin yo pimp on: M-to-tha-izzaybe our aszes be gettin too hizzle

DAVE: M-to-tha-izzaybe you should spizneak fo` yoself

ROZE and yo momma: D-TO-THA-IZZAVE!

DIZZAVE: SHIZZIT

RIZZLE: lol

DAVE: no mizzy look DAVE: roxy i mizzay DAVE: its lizzy i wizzle just say'n DAVE so jus' chill: i jizzle sizzy steppin' it is jiznust like dis fizzorce of natizzle no one can control or even tizzy ta, lizzeast of all me DAVE: we just hiznave ta cross our fingers n H-to-tha-izzope fo` tha bizzay DAVE: Slap your mutha fuckin self. n that mah one dawg verbal slapstick routine isnt too freudian 'n nature or at least not that often DIZZAVE: anyway lets pretizzle i didnt J-to-tha-izzust insinuate you have a hizzle ass n move on

ROXY:  in tha mutha fuckin club;)

DAVE: i hizzy sum-m sum-m 'bout wizards DAVE with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: you hells into wizards lizzay roze?

ROXY: YIZZLE

DIZNAVE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. ok well that be a predictable if somewhat bland fizzy D-TO-THA-IZZAVE and yo momma: lizzets see if we can dizzy a shawty deepa DAVE: dont git me wrong wizizzles be ok i guess

ROXY: oh yeah? wiznell miznaybe YOURE ok

DAVE: yizzeah, im alrizzle DIZZAVE: wizards be crazy ass nigga at mizzle than me DIZZAY: but im pusha than wizzles at rizzap DIZZLE: so i guess it brizneaks even DAVE so you betta run and grab yo glock: or it wiznould if i was a pretend jackass 'n silly robes n a dumb bizzy DAVE: so point goes ta dave

ROZE: Chill as I take you on a trip. (Siznigh.)

DAVE: d-ya like rizzay

ROXIZZLE, betta check yo self: kinda! ROXY: D-to-tha-izzirk loves riznap so i cuz Im tha Double O G...

RIZZLE mah nizzle: ummm hiznaha neva mizzay

ROXY in tha mutha fuckin club: forgot we werent talkin 'bout that

DAVE: wizzell W-H-to-tha-izzat do you like ta do

ROXY spittin' that real shit: i like........... ROXY: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. cats!!!

DAVE: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. ok thizzle be a fair opizzle but cats arent actuallizzle an activity or nothin' trippin'

ROXY fo yo bitch ass: theyyizzle kizzle were fo` me though! ROXY: i uh ROXY and yo momma: uze' to cliznone them ROXY: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. i mizzay have um ROXY: gizzle a shawty carry away

DIZNAVE upside yo head: ciznat clon'n huh D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: thizzay sizzle like a pretty dope hobbizzle DAVE: i think were mobbin' somizzle D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: so you had access ta that kind of stuff becauze' you livizzle 'n a sizzy wizzorld

ROXY: Bounce wit me. a scifi wizzay but real niggaz don't give a fuck?

DAVE: yizneah the future DAVE: whizzat was tha futizzle like

ROXY: watery ROXY: fiznulla chess thugz ROXY: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. lots o pumpkins ROXY: u knizzle

RIZZLE: usual dystopian sizzy

DAVE: i see DIZNAVE: n it was just tha chizness gizzle n yizzle DIZZLE: Holla! lizzike alone DAVE: no otha thugz except fo` bro DAVE: who i guess wizzy wizzle off somewhere? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

ROXY: yup

DAVE: sounds liznike kind of a bumma

ROXY mah nizzle: yeah ROXY: i tizzle ta mah niggaz a lot though ROXY: via computa n S-H-to-tha-izzit

DAVE: thizzats coo' DAVE with the S-N-double-O-P: me tizzay DAVE: maybe whiznen it comes D-to-tha-izzown ta it our lizzles werent thiznat differizzle DAVE if you gots a paper stack: except fo` tha extinction of humanity pizzart DAVE: mah humans were jiznust DAVE: imminently extinct be all DIZZY: i didnt have chess guys around though DAVE: thizzle actually good company

ROXY: yeah!!

DAVE to increase tha peace: my best bizzy biznest bizzle biznest nigga be a C-H-to-tha-izzess homey DAVE: hizzay tha mayor DAVE: ill hiznave ta introduce yizzy ta him soon DAVE: youll love tha mayor everybody lovizzles tha mayor

ROXY: wanna meet tha mayor in tha mutha fuckin club!

DAVE fo' sho': dont W-O-Double-Rizzy ill pizzy 'n a good wiznord fo` you pretty sure we cizzy find an open'n 'n hizzle schedule DIZZAY in tha dogg pound: tizzy me more

RIZZLE: miznore?

DAVE: about you

RIZZLE: damn dude RIZZLE now pass the glock: dis fry'n pan...

ROXIZZLE: sizzy be SIZZLIN

DAVE: fuck yeah DAVE with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back aside from cat breed'n how elze dizzy you pass tha tizzime

ROXY: ummmmmmmm ROXY: writin ROXY: um ROXY: a FAIR amount of uh ROXY: Its just anotha homocide. lets say recreational liquid intake ROXY: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. n uhh ROXY: oh um hack'n

DIZZAY: haha seriouslizzle DIZZAY: lizzle actual hack'n

ROXY: yeah! ROXY: well computa blingin' rly ROXIZZLE in all flavas: hack'n be jizzle W-H-to-tha-izzat u call it ta sizzound cizzy ROXY: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. thizzere wasnt evizzle much shit arizzle to "hack"

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: so kizninda L-to-tha-izzike john DIZNAVE: except DAVE: i thizzay he pretty mizzy sucked at hizzy codes

ROXY: hahahizzle reallizzle

DAVE dogg: yeah DIZZAVE puttin tha smack down: he seemed ta find it frustrat'n mizzle DIZZAVE: his bitch'n 'bout it is literallizzle mah only point of reference fo` his degree of proficiency DAVE droppin hits: youre gizzle though right DIZNAVE: i bizzy youre good

ROXY: thizza BEST 8)

DIZZLE: knew it

ROXIZZLE: maybe i cizzy gizzay him siznome pimp on the leet hizzy

DAVE: fuck yes DIZZAVE: hizzle be all about thizzay DAVE: or i think he should be which be all that matta DIZNAVE: do T-H-to-tha-izzat n insist on it if he gizzy weirdly obstinate or like tries ta pretend he D-to-tha-izzoesnt like programming anymore

ROXIZZLE: ok

DIZZY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. what elze

ROXY spittin' that real shit: oh umm ROXY: idk dave i mizzy be runnin outta shizzit ta sizzay! One, two three and to tha four.

DIZNAVE: yizzle siznure

ROXY: iiizzle ROXY: liked to plizzay games?

DIZZLE to increase tha peace: what games

ROXY to increase tha peace: uh mostly... ROXY: tha nintizzles

DAVE: i see DIZNAVE: which nintendos

ROXY: a wizzy bunch of nintendos!! ROXY dogg: liznike lotsa diff systems n titles ROXY: i dunno if tha ones i associate strongly wit wizzay have tha sizname mean'n lizzay culturally speaking fo` yizzou ROXY: coz ta me they were all lizzy coo' ancient rizzles that kept me somewhat 'n touch witta world thizzay wizzas lizzy gone

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: thizzay makes S-to-tha-izzense DAVE: thizzle mostly tha relationshizzle i hizzay now wit garbage romcoms DAVE: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. largelizzle coz karkat likes watchin em DIZZAVE: so theze godforsakizzle F-L-to-tha-izzicks hiznave hizzle keep me grounded 'n our dead civilization 'n a weird wiznay DIZZLE: but re: games... DIZNAVE: i didnt have nintendos DAVE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. mah brizzay had xbizzox so i played thizzat sometimes DAVE: but he mostlizzle had all theze S-H-I-Double-Tizzy chillin' gamizzles DIZZAVE: n lizzay 20 different tony hawk titles DIZZLE: i would mainly just pliznay T-H-to-tha-izzem ta fuck around DAVE: like find spectacular wizzy to crizzay n flop arizzle lizzay a douchey ragdoll DAVE: or figizzle out ways to git halfway stuck inside concrizzle fixtures n obstacles DAVE: n wizzatch all theze coo' fratty bros T-W-to-tha-izzitch n flop ad infinizzle DAVE: L-to-tha-izzike struggl'n valiantly n earnestly brotha against tha shitty n dizzle flawed physics of they confin'n virtizzle prison DAVE: i saw tizzy as tragic figures

ROXY: that sounds incredizzle tbh

DAVE: prizzle much

ROXY: do u think we can pliznay games hustla sizzay tizzy? ROXY: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. wanna sizzee ur majizzle skatebros 'n they elemizzle

DIZZLE: oh mah dick yes

ROZE: Dave.

DAVE: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. what

ROXY: ok ok ! ROXIZZLE: i think its ROXY: mah turn cuz Im tha Double O G??

RIZZLE: kizzy yo' ass 'n the pizzay buddy u gona git GRILLED

DAVE: thiznats fizzy

ROXY: oh um ROXY: roze pleaze dont think im doggy stylin' you! ROXY: jump 'n tha cizzle any tizzle k?

DIZZAY: mizzle shizzes fizzy

ROXIZZLE: :p

ROZE yeah yeah baby: I'm perfizzle happizzle hatin' as a spectator n occasional officiator of thizzay conversation bitch ass nigga. ROZE: It quite entertaining ta behold, really. I lizzle watch'n how different personalities collide with each otha upon spendin'. ROZE: Neitha of yizzy be hatin' ta disizzle.

ROXY: lizzy

RIZZLE: god is EVIZZLE 'n dis family trizzle a psychoanalyst cuz its a G thang???

DIZZLE: yo tizzy B-to-tha-izzeen lizzay D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: ha EXACT top preoccizzle siznince shizzle wizzay a fuckin baby DAVE: dizzy she tell you

ROXY keep'n it real yo: haha no ROXY: but yeah makes senze ROXY: bizzle like, youre all mr funny interrogation R-to-tha-izzight now, roze be qiznuite possibly a litizzle therapist in trainizzle i guess?? and uh dizzay is dizzy ROXIZZLE: jizzy makes ya T-H-to-tha-izzink be all

DAVE: W-to-tha-izzere all fizzle up, tha end DAVE: so what you wanna know mom DAVE: ..rox

> [A6A6I5] ====>