#i understand that most people get fevers when theyre sick

[kazulmehto]

Anyone else feel like cough medicine makes them super super cold?? Just frigid and shaking like a small dog with an insufficient sweater?

[kylejsugarman]

do au squared jesse's feelings of inadequacy or self hatred mean he ever neglects baby, physically or emotionally?

yeah :( i know im number one conflict avoider but giving a 24 year old drug addict who experiences The horrors a literal infant to take care of is not going to go perfectly. he makes a lot of mistakes early on due to ignorance and sometimes due to being high or just not paying the right attention, but thats part of the learning curve and theyre more like direct concrete mistakes that he can be like "oh shit" and try to fix. as the show goes on and things just continually Get So Much Worse though, jesse understandably feels Tormented and like hes the source of the evil thats slowly poisoning his life and that really exacerbates his ongoing inner conflict of "wanting to be the sole provider for baby and not trusting anyone else to take care of her, but also feeling disgustingly inadequate and like his poison is eventually going to destroy baby too". when hes in his really low pizza sonic crackhouse place, he struggles the most with this conflict and does emotionally neglect baby because he Thinks this is the correct course of action. he's a murderer and the bad guy and baby shouldn't even be close to him. he leaves her with demi whenever he possibly can and is distant and sad when she's around, feeling even worse every time he looks at her. obviously, baby doesnt understand wtf his damage is and gets upset as they spend more time apart both physically and emotionally, which just reinforces his notion that he's bad for her.

jesse's on the verge of straight up handing over baby to demi despite the absolute agony that would cause him when a night comes that throws everything back into perspective for him. it's shortly after the "gus decides to invest in jesse and keep him from killing himself" arc begins where the Party is beginning to wind down, but theres still some people around and hes still using intermittently. hes coming down from a high downstairs when he hears baby crying upstairs in her room, which he always keeps closed and locked with one of those child proof (and meth head proof) locks so no "guests" can never enter her room. her crying doesnt just trigger that parent, "let me go see what they need" reflex: it Hurts him. terrified that someone got in and is hurting her, he hurries up the stairs and fumbles with the lock for a long moment before finally managing to let himself in. there's no one else there, thank god, just baby wailing in her crib. he picks her up, automatically checking to see if she's wet (nope), then notices that she feels a little warm. he knows by now that babies get sick all the time—"u look away for five minutes and they'll start running a fever," mike will say to him later on during a drop—but that realization still feels awful. jesse's about to have the "i did this and baby needs to be away from me" thought and call demi when baby makes her grabby hands. desperate for a hold. desperate for Him. he obliges, holding her close and feeling her little body wiggle around to eliminate any possible space between them. she wants him. in spite of Everything, she wants him specifically. he ends up sitting there in her room for a long while, just cuddling her as she cries and eventually calms down and nuzzles his neck even though his scruff is probably all scratchy. there's stuff to do (the baby thermometer is downstairs and he should still have some infant tylenol around), but he just sits and cuddles her first. baby still loves him. he hasn't poisoned her and the distance has just been hurting the both of them instead of protecting her. he loves his baby so, so much and he promises her in his head that he's going to be better for both of them. they both deserve it.

[kaaytea]

hey! i hope youre doing great! if it isnt a problem, could you do atsumu, oikawa, sakusa and kuroo with a s/o who overthinks alot and notices that theyre hanging out with someone else alot recently and is scared that they're going to leave but they reassure reader that they won't leave? it'd be nice if it was fluffy :(((

Hi cutie! I'm doing well and I hope you are too! I apologize if Sakusa isn't very..Sakusa-y?? I'm still figuring him out a bit 😅 I tried my best to make it fluffy enough, I hope what I wrote will suffice

The Dangers of Overthinking

⤷Includes: Oikawa, Kuroo, Atsumu, Sakusa

-------------------------------------------

Oikawa

It's no secret that Oikawa is a pretty popular guy

And usually this doesn't bother you much, no matter how busy Oikawa was he always had little ways to reassure you he wasn't ignoring you

Gradually you started to notice him spending less time checking in on you throughout the day, the most you'd get is a pat on the head, a quick kiss, or a short text before Oiks slipped away with the rest of his team

You did your best to ignore the little voice in your head expressing that he was avoiding you. Oikawa was committed to his sport and that was fine, this behavior was normal

But the one thing you couldn't shake was whenever he went off with the team there was a person you didn't recognize in the group

You'd met his team HUNDREDS of times and by this point you knew everyone by name, number, and position from the hours you've sat with Tooru and watched game recordings. It was the middle of the season so they couldn't have suddenly got a new player

So who was this person? And why was your boyfriend always gravitating towards them?

Overthinking was dangerous for you, the longer you dwelled the further you fell into the dark doubts tucked into the back of your mind

This continued on for weeks until one day you just stayed in bed wrapped in blankets with only your thoughts

Setters are trained to notice small things, little details that could reveal a weakness in defense, anything that would help them decide who to set too

Oikawa was beautifully gifted in that aspect of a setter, it didn't take long to notice how distanced you'd become

Originally he thought it was a personal matter so he let you have your space, except unlike the other times you didn't bounce back. Infact, you were getting further from him the longer it went on

Oikawa quietly opened the door to your bedroom, letting his volleyball bag slip off his shoulder and placing it by the door

He sat down carefully on the side of your bed before he playful poked your side

"(y/n)-chaaan~"

You didn't respond and only pulled the sheets tighter around you causing a pout to form on his face

He gently pulled the sheets away from your head and pressed his hand to your forehead

"You don't have a fever so you're definitely not sick.....wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"You're not gonna leave me, right?"

Your voice was so quiet he just barely heard what you said

The hand on your forehead slipped down to your cheek, his thumb brushed softy across your cheek bone

"Why would I leave you?"

"You keep hanging around that person"

"Ah, be a little more specific sweetie"

"The blonde one! The blonde that's been hanging off you when you're with the team!"

You finally open up to him and what's he do? LAuGh! He's laughing at you!

Tears started to burn in your eyes as you quickly went to pull the covers over your head and flip onto your side facing away from him, only Oiks was a step ahead and pulled you into a sitting position facing him

"W-wait wait, Let me explain! (Y/n)-chan, that's our new manager. They've been helping me plan out drills for the team."

"Oh"

Well now you felt a bit silly

After a few seconds of silence you sighed and hid your face in Oikawa's shoulder. His arms wrapped around you body and he leaned back against your headboard

He spent the rest of the night holding you, whispering promises of never leaving you and how you're more important to him than anything else

Kuroo

Kuroo's friendly personality seemed to just attract people

I mean it was definitely something that hooked you so it was understandable why people tend to flock to him

It's just frustrating when he seems to have plans with people all the time, you barely see him these days

You didn't want to bring this to his attention in fear of being seen as clingy or controlling; Tetsu was your partner and had his own life, he wasn't a pet you could whistle for whenever you felt lonely

But you couldn't help but feel a bit....rejected

You were only about 5 minutes into lunch break and so far all you've done is lay your head on your desk and watched the rain fall outside

The gloomy day enhanced your depressed mood, your mind caught in the whirlpool of overthinking

Suddenly a little package was placed in front of you, followed by the sound of a chair being pulled up to your desk

You lifted your head from the desk only to find the very person that's been stuck in your mind sitting infront of you

"I got you melon bread from that bakery you like down the street, I would have given it to you earlier but you weren't here when I got to campus this morning."

"I missed my train..."

Kuroo snorted at your response and muttered something about you being cute before pulling out his lunch and beginning to eat

You opened the melon bread package, it looked delicious but your appetite seemed to have vanished

Kuroo watched you tear off a piece of the bread before placing the piece back on the wrappings with a sigh

Something was definitely wrong, you never turned down pastries from that bakery

"Not hungry?"

"Not really..."

"Did something else happen this morning? You're looking a bit...dejected"

You could never lie to Kuroo, and at this point you were so fed up with feeling alone that you didn't care about looking clingy, so you told him

He listened carefully to what you said and when you finished your rant he reached over the desk to hold your hands in his

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that. It won't happen again, I promise.....You've gotta tell me these things though, ok? I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

You could tell he meant every word he said, if there was one thing you knew about Kuroo it was that he prided himself on staying true to his promises

You felt a weight off your shoulders the second he pressed a kiss to your hand

You even got your appetite back and devoured the melon bread he got you!

Atsumu

You'd of never expected Atsumu to spend time with someone outside of the volleyball team

Especially one of his fan girls of all people

All this interaction between the two started abruptly during lunch break. The girl had bounced up and pulled him away from your little group before anyone could get a word in, everyone just stared as the blonde was dragged down the hall

You were use to the fan girls, 'Tsumu never gave them the time of day so it was never a problem, but this just felt...off

Why was he suddenly paying attention to one of them? Was he bored of you? We're you just not enough to satisfy his ego?

You were torn from your thoughts by a gentle call of your name

You turned your attention from the clipboard in your lap to the direction of the voice meeting Kita's soft but steady eyes

"You seem less energetic than normal, have you eaten anything today?"

"Oh I'm fine Kita-senpai, you don't have to-"

You were cut off by him handing you a banana and a rant about how even their manager has to be in peak condition

You couldn't refuse Kita so you took the food with a smile and powered through the rest of practice

You left immediately after you finished cleaning the gym, ignoring the calls from Atsumu to wait up for him

You tried to walk fast so he wouldn't be able to catch up but the universe seemed to be against you as he easily jogged up to you minutes after you left

"Wassup with ya today? Kita-san said you were actin' weird."

"I'm surprised you noticed he said anything, your attention seems to be on other people."

Atsumu stepped infront of you, blocking you from walking further down the road

"Wass that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know Miya, why don't you ask your little fan girl"

You stepped around him attempting to run the rest of the way home but his hand grabbed your arm, spinning you back around to face him

Atsumu's hands held you in place to keep you from running away

"That's what this is about? That annoyin' scrub who won't leave me alone?"

"Annoying scrub?"

Atsumu went on explaining how he was partnered with her for a project in Japanese history and how even after they finished the project she wouldn't leave him alone (no matter how many times he told her to go away)

After he explained you felt a little better but you still felt insecurities scratching at your mind

You reached out for his hand and started walking again, keeping your eyes on the ground as you walked

"You didn't think I was cheatin' on ya.....right?"

"....."

".....I'd never leave ya for someone like that, yer the only one I've got my eyes on. Plus, yer the only person I've found that can tolerate me."

You laughed slightly at that, he wasn't completely wrong. Atsumu was a rather complex person but you found something enjoyable in that complexity

He let go of your hand and pulled you into his side, keeping his arm wrapped around your waist as you walked

Sakusa

Ok so maybe you were a bit jealous

Not much, but just a bit

You should have expected Sakusa would have admirers as the ace of Itachiyama (not to mention he was a very handsome guy)

But it still catches you off guard with how outwardly flirty your fellow manager was

Like they even know you're in a relationship with Kiyoomi and yet they continue to throw themselves at him

Being jealous over that was honestly very silly on your part because Sakusa has expressed their flirting makes him uncomfortable

So really there wasn't anything to worry about

Well...

That is until one day you overheard them telling Sakusa they enjoyed going out last night and that they should do it again

Which he responded with a "maybe"

If you were paying attention you would have noticed the flat tone to his voice and how his body language exuded 'Im very uncomfortable please go away'

But you being you, the second the manager opened their mouth your mind shut down and your blood went cold

They went out together last night?

You avoided everyone for the rest of practice, offering instead to clean practice jerseys and water bottles

Those were jobs usually done by two people but you needed to get away from everyone and you were hoping the jobs would take up the rest of practice

By the time you were nearly done with cleaning the water bottles, Sakusa had joined you at the outside fountain, mask pulled up on his face, his bag on one shoulder and yours on the other

"Do you want help?"

"You don't have to Omi.....it's my job anyways"

Despite your dismissal of his offer, he placed both your bags down and helped you clean the rest of the bottles, even going as far as carrying them back into the gym for you

You followed him over to the equipment room, you unlocked the door and took the box from his arms and put it on It's shelf

"You ready to go?"

"Almost, I have to throw the jerseys into the dryer. You can go on ahead without me."

"I'll wait, I want to avoid Komori. I don't feel like being dragged out with his friends again."

Dragged out with his friends? So it wasn't a secret date, Sakusa was forced to go by his cousin

Sakusa made his way by you to the gym's laundry room, Swifty tossing the practice jerseys into the dryer and then returning to your side

"You can stop worrying now, I know you overheard our conversation earlier. I would have much rather spent the night with you than them....they're too pushy for my liking."

He picked up your bags again and offered you his arm (something he much preferred over holding hands)

though he was usually a stoic person, you could just see the warmth his eyes held as he looked at you

You linked your arm with his, soaking up the heat from his body and the calm atmosphere that surrounded him

[missjackil]

My 15x10 Opinion

The Heroe’s Journey 

Okay, right off the bat Im going to say you so-called fans sound RIDICULOUS!! You are complaining about things that didn’t happen! Unbelievable! Chuck in no way shape or form took away their hard-earned skills from a lifetime of hunting. You all listen to these stupid and I do mean STUPID Twitter and Tumblr people who obviously don’t know how to watch a series, read a book, or watch a movie. Especially any that arent all finished in one part, 

This was supposed to be a funny episode, and J2 thinks its funny af, thought fans would like it and are proud of it but, for some reason, they have the most dramatic, negative, over-reactive fans in the business. Tripping doesn't make one stupid, a credit card not working doesn't make one unskilled, not being able to beat up a huge Vampire doesn't make a Winchester weak since ... now repeat after me... THEY HAVE NEVER EVER BEATEN A MONSTER WITHOUT SPELLS OR WEAPONS and they were put in front of a big Vampire with no weapons!!! WHY is this so hard for you people to understand? 

Getting a cold means Sam doesn't have any intellect anymore? Dean getting sick on too many grilled cheese sandwiches means he can't hunt? I wish you all could hear/read yourselves from where I sit. really...

Now, understand that from very early in the series we found out God/Chuck was writing their lives. THIS IS THE STORY not Sunday School class... this doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are or are not, this is The Supernatural Story period.  You cant say “Chuck didn't do this for them!!” when apparently he did, thats canon. Deal with it or move on. He has said that they make some of their own choices but he’s always led them where he wants them. He can whenever he wants, see them and manipulate what they do. Like it or not, this IS the story. And yet, people dont have a problem with thanking God for their gifts and talents, just watch any award show, but Chuck forbid, consider some of these things God given gifts/talents for the Winchesters?? Yeah, that makes all the sense.

Sure, they were raised in hunting and theyre the best there is, but people like Eileen were raised as hunters and not as good as they are. So no one is saying they wouldnt be awesome hunters without Chuck's help, but they wouldn't be as awesome as they are, over and above every hunter ever, not to mention their tendencies to not stay dead, and get out of jail whenever they get busted, I mean, if this was a new thing added to the show I would understand why people are upset but this was told to us in s4. Chuck wrote their lives. 11 seasons later, to be upset about it is insane, like, by definition.  It’s like when some of you will say things like “Sam is a brave selfless hero despite the writers!” as if Sam lives independently from the writers. He does not. The reason Sam is a selfless brave hero is BECAUSE the writers wrote him that way. All it would take is a few keystrokes and turn him into something completely different.  Sam and Dean on the show, have been written, by Chuck to be who they are. Period. thats canon, thats the story. Just like all the fan fic you all write and read... Sam and Dean are at the mercy of the writer. One writer keeps them in character, one makes them wolves, one makes them not even related, one switches their ages, another switches their gender etc.... You dont read the stories you dont like, you dont scream at the author do you? 

Ok that being said... The episode was funny, no more guilty of dumbing down the boys than ANY other funny episode has. (watched Yellow Fever today and thought how bad you all would cry if thats what they did last night... made Dean scream from a cat and a little dog) Im not a huge fan of funny episodes but it had some good moments. The only thing that didnt make sense to me was why name a baby Castiel? Garth never even met him?

On a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, I will give this a 7. Ill give the fandom a 2.