#i understand lunar so bad it makes me want to start ripping up the carpets with my teeth

[starheirxero]

[audibly holding back tears] it's the fact that Lunar said they were made to feel like they have to go back to Eclipse that's fucking me up the most. Whether that means like, on a psychological level or a programming level or both, it's like. man. to hate someone with every atom in your body and still have a deep, nagging part of you that says get closer, welcome him back.

to know that if you listened it would be just as bad, if not worse, than that first month you spent with him but you still have a lost, scared little kid inside you that wants to cling to his side and hope he'll hold you back and tell you it's all okay.

to hate what someone truly is, but be wholly in love with the idea of what he could have been that your mind still wants to tug you along to his doorstep. sniffles. hiccups. whimpers.