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veroniicaflores · 5 years ago

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task 001: character introduction.

(admin tangerine, 21, est) ☼ who’s that hottie, standing outside the love hotel? it’s VERONICA FLORES, a BISEXUAL CIS FEMALE, who looks a lot like NATHALIE KELLEY! NIKKI’s insta bio says SHE is a STYLIST and is looking for a fun time this summer. SHE is into DADDY KINK & GROUP SEX, but not into SCAT & BLOOD PLAY. by the way, SHE reminds me of ORANGE POPSICLES & COLORFUL SUNSETS.

quick infos:

full name: veronica eleanor rosemary flores (i swear i have never watched dynasty EVER and i was told this is the last name of nat’s character.... too late)

dob: august 23rd 1988 (she’ll turn 31 this year)

pob: las vegas, nevada.

kinks: daddy***/mommy kink, mild roughness, group sex, public sex, receiving oral (eat her out good and she’ll marry you... too soon) although she enjoys giving oral to girls and/or strap-ons/dildos, mutual masturbation, nipple play, hair pulling squirting, spanking, consensual somnophilia.

anti kinks: blood play, wax play, electric stimulation, bondage, very rough sex, scat, foot play, humiliation & extreme anal (fingering and butt plugs are fine, but there will be very rare anal sex).

3 favorite things: dancing naked at 2am to some electronic music or old rock songs, italian gelato (she’d give you a handjob for a raspberry gelato) & puppies videos on instagram.

3 things she hates: spiders or bugs of any sorts (excluding spider man or ant man or black widow wink wink), people who lack of respect & compassion, bad hair days.

+2 positive traits: easygoing & compassionate

-2 negative traits: gullible & jealous

wanted connections:

ex-husband: idk where i’m going with this, but i have a feeling this would be so interesting if he’d come back to the hotel and they’d reconnect after a few years of being apart and not speaking. bonus points for high sexual tension and cute stuff!

daddy and/or mommy: just that “caring, loving but also can please all your needs” vibe. spoiler alert, she won’t be the mommy, she’s too much of a sub for that.

femme fatale: just a woman, preferably younger whom nikki just can’t resist. someone with dominant tendencies. or someone around her age too!

friends with benefits: GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

sexual tension: it says it all.

headcanons

childhood + teenage years + early twenties:

only child of a loving family of restaurant owners, veronica inherited the best conditions to become a traditional girl from a just as typical and traditional family. she was loved by her parents, she loved them. she learned to cook at a very young age and had a noticeable talent. she was the preppy girl from the picture perfect family. she had a dog, alfredo, that she rescued from the streets and who became her only friend for most of her childhood.

in high school, she bonded with a pair of twin siblings who came from a completely different background. from what she knew, their parents were big gamblers and lost most of their savings in casino nights. these people had that edge and gave that down to earth vibe nikki admired yet could not completely comprehend. they were a dynamic trio that balanced one another perfectly. jack (npc) was a total artist who encouraged nikki to express herself, valerie (npc) was very analytical and had a talent at reading through nikki while nikki herself was that sweet figure who was easy to please and could easily please everyone.

when they graduated, valerie confessed she had no idea what she would be doing with her future with no money at all. they were sitting in nikki’s family restaurant and drinking beer in cask with nostalgia and a part of sadness. jack had big plans, he found an apartment in san francisco and wanted to become a graphic designer. nikki, however, was torn between taking over the family business or making a living of her own. that was when valerie drunkenly suggested to work at one of the newly opened strip clubs nearby their neighborhood.

so she did.

she turned 18 when she realized she had lost so many years to living in a mold she no longer fit in. she was more than just preppy church outfits and cooking sundays with her mother, she was more than a daddy’s girl who washed tables when the restaurant was closed. what did adults always say? a good education promised a good future, so, veronica applied to the college of southern nevada for a degree in communications with a minor in women’s studies. she had no idea where she was heading, but it was a start.

her parents contributed by driving from class to home every day, they paid her more adult looking clothing and they finally gave her the freedom she never knew she needed until she reached majority.

although jack disappeared from her life, valerie remained very present. they did as they agreed and found a job at a high end strip club in vegas. they made good money instantly without having to do nasty stuff nikki had never been introduced to. within a few months, they saved enough to get matching tattoos, new jewelry and pay for valerie’s apartment. the club provided a living area a few blocks away, but valerie felt better living on her own. nikki tried to mingle and fit in with the other girls, but they were too different. maybe it was the education, maybe it was the background, but the trashy side of this job did not interest the italian girl more than that.

veronica worked as a stripper during college until she graduated with a degree that would soon become irrelevant and useless. with contribution from her parents who never even judged her for her job (it was true nikki did tell them it was just a dancing studio) and with her savings, veronica moved out of nevada and headed to california.

now

she worked in clothing stores, in malls and eventually in expensive boutiques. the other sellers and all the clients noticed she had a talent for matching outfits, accessories and every details making sure the person who wore them would be at their best. eventually, she started doing this as a side line. she promoted her skills on social media and got quite the hype. she worked for magazines and influencers. she became a private stylist as well. no rest for the wicked!

along the way, she met the man who would become her husband. they really had a perfect marriage. being career driven and uncertain of being able to meet her parents’ expectations, she could not lie to herself. the marriage ended in a peaceful and respectful divorce. she is still convinced he is the love of her life.

at 26, she started a youtube channel when she became a bit bored of her casual job. on her channel (youtube.com/user/floralpatternslover), she does a lot of hauls, diy accessories, storytimes, recipe tutorials and various challenges. she has 2 millions subscribers and just as many instagram followers. nikki lives off of that more nowadays. she tries to post at least once a week on youtube to keep the ad revenue coming.

she makes a lot of money, but she really doesn’t act like it. she thrives on late night trips to 7/11 or on dollar store snacks and stuff. she gives a lot of money back to charity, and clothes back to other organizations as well. similar to chris klemens,

headcanons

BIGGEST SUB AND BABY ENERGY YOU HAVE EVER MET. she’s just... so willing and vulnerable, it’s crazy. make sure your muse can handle that!

she will never take the lead, or, well, almost never. if she feels really needy, she might initiate things and suggest certain positions and actions, but otherwise, you choose and she obeys.

she works with clothes all the time, love clothes, sleeps on her bed covered with clothes because she’s too lazy to put them back in her walk-in closert... yet she would live naked 24/7 if she could. she goes from 0 to 100 real quick when it comes to exhibitionism!

she LOVES sex. passionate sex. sex for sex. group sex. watching sex. she’s really into it. it takes her mind off everything else.

once again i repeat i have never watched dynasty and now i’m playing two fcs from the show TALK ABOUT A COINCIDENCE i’m sorry about the last name thing, i just thought it fit

alsoooooo i was very attached to lea as a fc generally, but especially for nikki. it was hard choosing someone else :( i hope nathalie can fit!

#lvhtl.intros #about nikki.#lvhtl.tasks

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holdtylersandersonaccountable · 5 years ago

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Elizabeth Moroni

Dating him was probably the most traumatic thing that’s happened to me in my life. We started dating after I had just turned 19. Tyler was 24. He was incredibly manipulative. He flattered me with the typical “you’re not like the others” routine, which, on a 18 year old girl, totally worked…but not at first. I was reluctant to engage with him because I already had a partner, and I saw how he treated his girlfriend with disregard while hitting on me. Tyler’s fixation on me made others uncomfortable to the point where the friend group collectively decided that I was “off limits”. But Tyler had different plans. Tyler didn’t go to my college, or any other college—he came to my college town weekly to go out drinking, and to prey on me. He repeatedly isolated me from my group, dragging me outside for cigarettes to get me alone. These moments were common and we began to kindle a friendship despite all of the red flags. He was friends with really kind people, so I reasoned that even though his behavior was troubling, if he was a bad person he wouldn’t be surrounded by good people. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Tyler took me out for smoke breaks over and over. He even told me that a song reminded him of me, “Silver Words” by Sixto Rodriguez. He said the song reminded him of me, and he even sang it to me. It was very romantic, but I still didn’t budge. When he wasn’t in town, he would call me constantly, leaving sloppy 2am voicemails confessing his love to me. The messages were frequent. I said no so many times. I was polite, but firm. There were so many drunk calls I let go to voicemail—I recall a specific conversation I had with his childhood friend about the situation. “What do I do about this? How can I get him to stop? I’m not interested.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTJRXUftkPE

This group of friends I was with would all go out together to drink in Greeley. I was underage but access to alcohol wasn’t hard. Everyone put a drink in my hand. I remember being too drunk and lying on the floor in a room alone because I was nauseous. Tyler came in and laid down beside me--I felt his hand grab mine in the dark. He only tried to hold my hand when I was drunk. It was a small thing, at the time I thought it was cute, but it made me uncomfortable. He did it covertly in front of friends. Innocent enough, but I see now he was testing me, grooming me to accept more next time.

Tyler eventually became frustrated that his teenage fixation (me) wasn’t complying. He separated from his girlfriend at the time, (he didn’t, he was lying and gaslighting her as well, coming up to Greely to cheat). Tyler then changed his strategy. Quickly, he found a second teen, which he flooded with attention. He brought her to places he knew I would be, giving me the cold shoulder completely (he acted like he was angry at me). This was all in the span of a few days, so I was surprised that he went from being my friend to refusing to speak to me. I felt like because I wasn’t complying, I was being punished. Despite his unrelenting forwardness, we were friends, and the silent treatment was undeserving. My already low self esteem made me question what was wrong with me. A particular low point was when I overheard Tyler singing this young girl the same song he said reminded him of me—“Silver Words”.

You’d think that I would have been relieved and appreciative for Tyler to move on from me. But as a child without the tools to recognize (or even have the vocabulary for) gaslighting, manipulation, grooming, and typical predatory behavior, instead of relief I felt devalued and thrown out. Looking back, my ignorance made me so unequipped for this situation, and I wish I knew at the time how to identify what was really going on.

Eventually (not long after) Tyler and I began talking again. It felt good to be acknowledged; there was a sort of emotional high I found myself feeling when he was nice to me. If a dog is abused by his owner, but thrown a bone every once in a while, the dog will stay loyal. That was me—riding the high of being treated well after not for so long. This was a theme throughout the relationship.

I started to interpret his red-flag behavior as romantic gestures. Not long after, we started seeing each other romantically. Tyler’s unwavering persistence was disturbing, but it always got him what he wanted. I should have seen the start of our relationship as a start of a pattern. This situation is emulative of what was in store for me for our entire relationship. Constantly being devalued, insulted, and torn down, only given brief moments of decency that bring floods of endorphins. I was addicted.

CHARGE. Did you know he has this word tattooed across his chest? Does a charging bull comply when you say “stop”? “No”?

The bull charges regardless.

The abuse didn’t take long to start. Tyler had an inner rage that his friends and family seldom saw, and that he made sure they never saw. Tyler would casually say hurtful things to me on a daily basis, and generally do things to make me feel like less than nothing. He would then groan about how “depressed and annoying” I was, and how I always kept him down. He was extinguishing my light. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, and as a result my relationships, my grades, my dreams, all started to crumble before me.

He started treated me like I was a burden, a thorn in his side he couldn’t get rid of, but when I tried to leave the relationship he would manipulate and guilt me into staying. Sometimes he would blame his attitude on his hangover. But it was more than that. It was consistent emotional abuse.

I was 18 when he first pressured me into having sex without a condom. I was not comfortable with it, and it took a while for me to give in. Maybe three times we had protected sex. Later, he refused to wear them, assuring me that it was safe, praising me for complying. Shortly after my 19th birthday, I got pregnant. The pregnancy was ectopic and after an extremely painful process, the baby was miscarried. Tyler was verbally supportive over text, but in person was cold.

One of the FIRST things Tyler told me that he had a “sleep sex disorder” that made him have sex with whoever he was lying in bed with. “I don’t really talk about my condition” he said. I didn’t realize it then, I laughed actually. We shared a laugh about it, I remember. How weird, how funny. I found out later that this allowed him to take me at any time, even if I declined sex hours before. I was stupid, but I was 19.

A “sleep sex” condition. When do you think Tyler got this diagnosis? What is the treatment plan for this kind of condition? I never saw Tyler taking medications or doing therapy to counteract his condition. Is his condition only triggered when the person lying in bed next to him is a woman? What runs through a man’s head when he wakes up over a woman in the middle of an episode? Does he stop? or does he finish?

I confused Tyler’s jealousy for love. I confused his controlling tendencies for caring ones. Shortly after my miscarriage, he started cheating on me. Every time I confronted him, I was gaslighted. I reached out to friends and they pulled away, not wanting to get involved. I felt like I was going crazy. I was so weak and so vulnerable. I asked him to leave my house the day I found out he was cheating. He wouldn’t leave. He stared at me loathingly from MY bed. He denied me acknowledgement, he denied me my personal space. He stared and stared, emotionless. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t leave. I had to leave my own home, and crashed on a friend’s couch. Tyler later told me that I “probably fucked [friend]” to get back at him.

He used that as leverage to continue his cheating and not feel bad about it. He openly texted and called women in front of me. Tyler told me on one instance that he might keep cheating if I kept the nosering that I had gotten without his permission. He said it made me look gross. He told me that he cheated because I was too “depressed” all the time and that pushed him away. He made me understand that everything that was causing me pain was my fault. This self-blame mindset obliterated my individuality, my intuition, my confidence and self worth. I was trapped in the relationship, a prisoner to my abuser.

I broke up with him after being tired of the mistreatment. He slit his wrists. I came back. We started dating again. He started cheating again. I wanted to die. He isolated me from my friends and family. He got very angry when I would go out. He punched holes in doors and walls. The threat of Tyler’s suicide kept a gun to my head and prevented me from causing any conflict. I was constantly stepping on glass, trying not to upset him.

One night stays seared in my memory forever. Drunk, he singled out one of my coworkers and called him a “pussy” for liking a certain band. This conversation escalated, Tyler got more aggressive, and I had to usher him out, embarrassed that he had started an altercation at my work. Driving home, I confronted him about his alcohol problem. Tyler was silent for about thirty seconds before he began repeatedly smashing his head into the dashboard. I had to pull over and physically grab him to get him to stop. I can never forget that disturbing repetition of him slamming his face into the dash—and the raw fear I felt in that moment.

“Abuse creates complex bonds between survivor and perpetrator that are difficult to break; it also causes a great deal of cognitive dissonance as the survivor attempts to reconcile the brutal reality of the abuse with the person he or she once saw as their greatest confidante and lover in the early stages of the relationship. This cognitive dissonance is a defense mechanism that is often resolved not by seeing the abuser for who he or she really is, but rather by denying, minimizing or rationalizing the abuse that is occurring as a way to survive and cope with the trauma being experienced.”

-Shahida Arabi

TW: Miscarriage, Rape

He started doing coke, and drinking every day. He got meaner.

One day I remember we had a tender moment on the floor. I was feeling vulnerable and safe in the moment, and decided to confide in Tyler about my feelings about my miscarriage from about a half a year before. He listened intently until I finished speaking. He then looked at the floor for a few seconds before softly chuckling and shaking his head, smiling. “Wow. That’s the kind of fucked up shit me and [Friend] joke about”. He continued to laugh. He said that the miscarriage “really ruined” me. I was shocked. I never forgot that moment—I’ve re-lived it a thousand times in my mind. His lack of empathy still gives me chills.

He could be tender to my dog, but when he was frustrated with her barking he would shove her around, too hard. This deeply upset me, but at the time I couldn’t even protect myself from the abuse. At this point he pressured me into sex regularly, no matter how exhausted I was or how much I resisted. I saw it as a thing I had to just do to get out of the way. Times I would refuse I would find him on top of me in the middle of the night. It was easier to let him finish. One night in particular I detail in a letter to myself that I wrote when I first broke out of the relationship—a note that would force me to acknowledge my abuse, even if I fell back in love with him. We had been drinking, and came home to sleep. Sex wasn’t on the table, and I was exhausted. I woke up feeling him on top of me. I had a tampon in…he forced himself in anyway. The pain was indescribable. I remember just lying there and thinking, “This shouldn’t be my life. How did I let this happen? How can I get out?”

Then a friend in the group began taking Tyler to shoot guns. Immediately he wanted to buy a gun, even though we had talks about how guns make us uncomfortable. He admired the power a gun would grant him. He began being obsessed about having protection, as justification. His cocaine use increased. I told him to seriously reconsider because he knew and I knew he was mentally unstable. He bought it anyway. I started feeling very afraid. I was always walking on glass, not wanting to set him off, never feeling like enough. I suffered greatly.

He pressured me into getting an apartment with him. I knew I didn’t have money to afford the one he wanted. We argued about it for a long time. I wanted to move in with some girl friends of mine, but he rejected that adamantly. He said he would help me pay for it, that we would do a fair split of the rent based on our income. I didn’t want to live with him because I was scared of him. He said that if I didn’t move in with him, I was destroying the relationship. I was desperate and broken. I signed the lease. A day after I moved in my stuff, I reached a breaking point and realized I had to get out. I broke up with him, and in response he tried to give me oral (which I had not gotten in a long while). I pushed him off of me and left. His friend texted me, chastising me for ending things with Tyler “out of nowhere”. He did not know the extent of my abuse, but the victimization of Tyler was hurtful. Tyler did not allow me to leave the lease. The leasing office needed his permission to let me off of it, and despite the abusive situation, explained I was bound to my abuser and there was nothing I could do. I moved in with my parents. For the next year, I paid $500 a month so that Tyler could live in that apartment with his brother. I’m still in debt from that.

Tyler’s friend confronted me later, telling me to block Tyler on all forms of social media because he had seen a picture of me and tried to kill himself. I was frustrated. I never got to be a victim, because my predator, my abuser, was suicidal. He used suicide attempts in order to not only avoid being accountable for his actions, but also to be comforted by everyone he knew and victimize himself. This is why I believe that his friends and community have continued to protect him throughout his trail of abuse. And have continued to hang out with him, play in bands with him, drink with him, do coke bumps with him, laugh with him, post selfies with him, and allow him to hurt women time and time again. I’m reminded of my trauma every time I see him in a friend’s Instagram post, smiling, unapologetic, unaccountable.

Sometimes I look back at pictures of myself then. I was a child--right out of high school. I look at pictures of me and remember the isolation and pain I was experiencing at that point in time.

After I broke things off with Tyler for good, I wrote that letter to myself that I mentioned. October 2015. It begins:

“Dear Elizabeth, I am writing you today because this morning you were thinking about Tyler. I don’t know what the future holds, and I don’t know if you will ever be tempted to date him again. Here, I will make a list of reasons why you should never consider being with him again—times he hurt you, stifled your growth, and made you feel like less than you are.”

Here is the list:

-He was flippant about things that mattered to me.

-He would schedule things to interfere with my own plans, and then guilt me into abandoning my plans for his. He was always in control.

-If he was mad a me, he would only cook dinner for himself while I was there.

-I wasn’t allowed to pick tv shows and movies to watch.

-He often pressured me to drive to visit him in very dangerous weather (one time I nearly spun out).

-He blamed me for his own personal issues.

-I got the silent treatment often.

-He pressured me to sign a lease with him.

-He stole my jokes and told them to his friends, taking credit.

-He drank often—whiskey usually, and drinking made him mean.

-He cheated on me with other teens, younger each time.

-He insisted we drive everywhere together so I couldn’t leave.

-He pretended he didn’t know me in social gatherings, and would pull away if I was affectionate in public.

-He would tell me he would pay for dinner, but on the spot refuse to pick up the tab so that I would have to. One day I remember I told him I couldn’t afford to eat out. He convinced me to come because he “really wanted me there” and said he would cover me. We went to an expensive ramen place on Pearl in Denver with his brother and shared sake. It was a nice treat until Tyler suggested we split the tab at the end of the meal. I mentioned what he said to me before about paying and he stated he never said that. Frustrated and not wanting to cause a scene in front of his brother, I paid for the meal. He would do things like this constantly, which really made me question reality at times…what had happened versus what I remembered. The deeper into the relationship I got the more I was disoriented and confused, and his control over me grew.

-He insulted my close friends, and was not okay with me being around men, or talking to men.

-He would even get upset if I would text or talk to people in our friend group, especially when he wasn’t present. One night, Tyler invited the girl he was cheating on me with to the county fair with our friend group. He was shameless about this and would often invite her to hang out in front of me, which was psychological torture. It was normalized. No one in the friend group would acknowledge this, and I was slowly losing my mind. She was even there during Tyler and I’s anniversary. But that is another story. We are all at the fair together and Tyler is acting like I don’t exist…isn’t walking with me, talking to me, looking at me, like we are strangers who have never met. The group gets on a roller coaster, and I get into a cab with another male in the friend group, as Tyler had already picked his seat. After the roller coaster, Tyler pushes past me forcefully to show me he is angry. I say his name and he doesn’t answer. I touch his arm and he yanks away and says, “why don’t you go and fuck [male friend]?” He then joined the girl he was cheating on me with. I decided to leave the fair, in disgust, and I had a mental breakdown. I looked back on this moment with great shame because no one asked me about it later or saw if I was okay. I felt very alone then.

-He pressured me to cut ties with my family

-He would punch things when he was angry, which scared me. He punched a hole in the wall, and a hole in the door. One day, while moving stuff, Tyler got frustrated and punched the side of a moving truck in front of his dad. His dad got really upset, which meant he doesn’t really see that side of Tyler.

-When I found out he was cheating on me, I asked him to leave. He refused to leave my home, and refused to leave my bed. He didn’t stay one word…he just stared at me, silently, arms crossed. I had nowhere to sleep, so I asked a friend at the music college if I could sleep on his couch. Later, when I returned, Tyler verbally attacked me and claimed “you probably fucked him last night”.

-He threatened that if I ever studied abroad I would be hurting our relationship and he would break up with me. The internship I was considering was 3 months long.

-He could eat my food I bought, but I was not allowed to eat his food unless he let me.

-He thought it was funny to urinate on me in the shower which truly disgusted me.

-He never did anything special for me on my birthday.

-If Tyler took me out for a date and paid for dinner, he 110% expected sex in return and was enraged if I refused. Some nights I would be studying hard and completing homework to meet deadlines—the deadlines came after his needs. He often pressured me into sex while I was working towards something positive, whether that was school, art projects, or self care tasks.

So where do we go from here? Basically, I started this blog so that this will not continue. So that people who speak up and aren’t heard have a safe area to talk about their experiences. Despite the abuse, there were times I really saw hope in Tyler, but his abusive and self-sabotaging behavior has continued to hurt himself, those close to him, and those he has victimized…not to mention future victims. I do think that Tyler can get better, but he has to take one long look at himself and recognize his trail of destruction. It’s only when he can find empathy can he then seek treatment in forms of domestic violence rehab classes and extensive therapy. If you choose to be close to Tyler, you have a responsibility to inspire those changes in him instead of enable his behavior. Your silence is more hurtful than you ever know. There were so many times where friends, and kind people, have turned their backs on me every time I reached for help, not wanting to acknowledge the extent of Tyler’s abuse. I feel that the constant normalization of violence on women is gut-wrenching. But the only person who can really change is Tyler himself.

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wozman23 · 5 years ago

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The New Day: A Proposal for 32 Hour Long Days

After nearly three months of freedom from a work schedule, I've come to the conclusion that when left to my own devices, my mind and body simply don't want to exist in the 24 hour based world. Despite being a night owl, in the real world, as a personal trainer for a few years now, I've lived as an early bird. It means working a shift that begins at 5am. So after much calculation, accounting for getting ready for work, scrambling a few eggs for breakfast, commuting, and planning to get there 10-15 minutes early, that means I need to be up at 3:45am. To get 8 hours of sleep, I try to be in bed around 7:45pm. Yeah, grandpa time. I'm only moderately successful at sticking to grandpa time. But once the world devolved into this madness, I abandoned that schedule. I quickly found myself returning to the adolescent, responsibility-less me, staying up until 3am. 3am became 4am. 4am became 5. Eventually that turned into some 7s, 8s, 9s, and even a noon at one point. Just last night – or actually this morning - I laid down after 8am. At around 6am, I finished playing through The Last of Us Remastered in anticipation for the sequel. But I wasn't tired. So I played through A Short Hike as well. Even after finishing it, I still wasn't all that tired, but I laid down and got 8 great hours of sleep. Other nights I think of trying to force myself to resume a regular sleep schedule. Last week I agreed to meet for a 9am run with another trainer. I tried laying down around midnight and got about 3 hours of sleep. Earlier in the week on a few occasions I tried to lay down between midnight and 2am. Each of these times, I found myself wide awake after just 2 hours of sleep. Having battled this before, tossing and turning for hours, I simply got back up, watched some episode of Rocko's Modern Life or played some video games, and went back to bed for a second attempt when I was actually feeling tired, usually around noon. I'd then sleep for around 4 more hours. It's still not anywhere near as refreshing as my 8 hours of sleep without interruption. Every time that I've tried to force myself to go to sleep on a regular 24 hour interval, it hasn't worked, even after trying some drastic course correction. At one point, in the middle of last month, I got a crazy idea: what if I lived three days as if it were two? On May 14th, after going to bed in the early morning hours, and waking up around my all-too-typical 2-4pm, I decided to start my experiment. On my day of May 15th, I pushed my sleep time further, going to bed at noon, technically on the 16th, then I woke up around 8pm. Then, on what should have been my 16th, but was actually the 17th, after staying up for over 24 hours, I was back on track with my 8pm bedtime. As far as I'm concerned, May 15th never existed, and May 16th was this weird day where I ran the day prior, then slept, then ran again after being up for 20 hours, while still technically only running every other calendar day. But I felt good. I slept great for all of 2 days... Then I quickly fell off the wagon again. The 24 hour clock just isn't my friend these days. I'm not sure exactly why. I'm guessing the energy demands of working and being more active compared to pretty much relaxing may have something to do with it. I just don't get tired on a normal interval now. I can easily stay up 20-24 hours. Resisting it is futile. My best “nights” of sleep have all come after I've already seen the Sun, having been up for well over 16 hours. We're living in a new world, and one that needs widespread changes. Sure, disease and racism are important, but why is no one discussing the real issue? Our measurement of the “day” and how it defines our lives. It's archaic, and we need to do something about it. I'm proposing this: days should be 32 hours long. That gives you 8 hours to sleep, 8 hours to work, and 16 more hours on top of that. You can play video games, exercise, listen to music, watch Netflix, or dick around doing whatever it is you like to do. Because right now, in the conventional world, the 8/8/8 split sucks. Everything I do creeps into that 8 hours of “me” time. Commuting, shopping, meal prepping, bathing. If I could figure out how to not shower and still smell good, I'd abandon that monotony to do more of what I love. Many days, after errands and chores, that 8 hours is lucky if it feels like a couple hours. Other days it’s simply nonexistent, pulling a disappearing act that leaves me wondering where the hell it went as I stare at a clock that says 7:45 already. In my world, you've got 16 whole hours to do what you want! Think of all the stuff you could do. There's so much room for activities! New hobbies. I'd pick up a drum set. I wouldn't have a huge backlog of video games. I'd have more time to go to concerts or take some fun day trips. What would you do? What don’t you do now that you’d love to do? Now, I know what you're thinking: this can't work. Sure, there are some hurdles, but we can make it work. First off, the calendar. We've got to adjust it to 273 days. That’s unavoidable. We have a few options:

We can either add 3 days every 4 years. It could be the new Leap Days, February 29th, 30th, and 31st.

Or we can just take the remaining three-quarters of a day, and make one super day each year that is 40 hours long. My vote: Christmas!

Secondly, in terms of Christmas, months or weeks need an overhaul. We've got a few options there as well. We can either restructure months, or weeks. If we stick with the seven day week, September 30th is the 273rd day of the year. That's conveniently exactly 39 weeks. So three months have to go. We could either:

Say goodbye to October, November, and December. Christmas is September 25th.

Cut elsewhere. Throw some shade at Julius Caesar and get rid of July, August. We'll throw in February just because it drew the short straw and has that dumb, silent “r.” But then we'd have to add those leap days elsewhere. You get a 31st! You get a 31st! Everybody gets a 31st!

Or we keep months, but tweak weeks:

If we go with 6 days a week, we could have 45 and a half weeks in a year. Then we could eliminate Mondays, because who doesn't hate Mondays. Months would then alternate between 22 and 23 days, with 9 months having 23 days. Then in those leap years, every month gets an even 23 days. How nice! It's as if the universe meant for it to be that way. Plus, for once, at least every 4 years, we wouldn’t have to debate how many days each month has or do that silly thing to remember by counting on our knuckles.

If we go with 5 days, we eliminate the weekend, or Mondays and Wednesdays – again because the day sucks as much as its spelling. We stay close to our current format with a little over 54 weeks.

Or maybe we go the opposite. Every day is a weekend. Saturday and Sunday are all that exist and there are 136.5 weeks a year and over 11 weeks in a month!

Or 3 days: adding Friday into the mix, giving us exactly 91 weeks a year and around 7.5 weeks per month.

Or we abandon weeks, and months, and just count to 273, like that girl you know on facebook who thinks she’s gonna sort her life out at the beginning of every year. Even with that decided, still, there are two more problems. How much do we work? I'm already a huge believer that the 40 hour work week is utter bullshit. But if my days were longer, maybe it wouldn't be as bad. I may even be fine working every day of my life in a 5 day week world as long as I had those 16 hours to do as I pleased. I think we leave that up to individuals and employers. If someone wants to work 8 hour days, okay. If they want to work a single 32 hour shift then have the rest of whatever a week is off, fine. Ideally, I think having 12 months, with 6 days a week, and around 23 days each is our best bet. Garfields everywhere benefit from the lack of Monday, and we could still work around 40 hours with one entire 32 hour day off each week, and plenty of free time in between. Or, better yet, we drop working down to 32 hours, make similar pay or are supplemented through a universal basic income, and maintain the standard two days off - which isn't anywhere near enough on the 24 hour day format. Or, much like the state of the world today, maybe we all quit working completely and live a series of consecutive Friday’s Saturdays, and Sundays. I know I’m enjoying it! So now it's on to the last, and hardest, challenge: the damn Sun. The Earth rotates at that 24 hour interval. I figure we have two options there as well:

We accept the fact that the day/night cycle just won't sync up with our new definition of the “day.” It is going to be dark for a large chunk of the day. And every day the darkness will come 8 hours earlier until it makes its way back to a repeating frequency that occurs every 3 days.

Or... WE SLOW DOWN THE EARTH!!!! Maybe Elon can figure something out. It would have to be something we gradually do. If we tried to do it instantaneously buildings would probably collapse and we'd all just fly off the surface of the planet and into space. Maybe we all just blow in the direction opposite of rotation in unison every day for like a year? Or maybe we drill a big hole in the Earth, attach a giant lever arm, and let some astronauts pull on it little by little? What do you want from me?! I'm no rocket scientist.

Regardless, I think we can live in a 32 hour day, 12 month, 6 days a week, 23 days a month world with the weird darkness. People tolerate the Sun's insolence towards the poles for much of the year. And the moon, with its odd lunar cycle, often has no clue what it's supposed to be doing, hanging out in the sky in broad daylight. Why can't the sun just get in on the action? It's either that or we embrace a full-blown chaos where we change but stick to our current notions of time where the days, months, years, seasons, and light levels become meaningless. Join me. #Woznicki2020 #TheNewDay #GoOutsideAndBlowEast

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qonqr · 7 years ago

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Thanksgiving

It is tradition in the US to often pause during the Thanksgiving holiday and reflect on what we are thankful for. While I write this, I am sitting with my parents at our family farm. After doing some chores, my father handed me a newspaper clipping from 99 years and 9 month ago. My uncle found it while doing ancestry research. I had known the story, but had never seen it in print before.

McGregor, Feb 16 – Special: Yesterday the fourth member of the George Davis family to die in a week of influenza was laid to rest in the little country cemetery south of McGregor. Nine others of the family are in bed with the disease. Ten days ago the entire family, father, mother and eleven children were found sick with influenza by a McGregor physician. It was impossible to secure nurses for three days, and by that time the disease has assumed a virulent form with several of the family. The youngest, a two year old boy, was found dead by the physician the third morning and the father delirious and beyond help. He died that afternoon. The oldest son, a young man of twenty-three died Friday. Yesterday the mother passed away. This leaves nine children, five boys and four girls, ranging in age from twenty-one to four. It is believed that the disease has passed the crisis with all of these and they will recover, though grief and shock are aggravating their condition.

Mr. Davis was a McGregor who started with nothing and by the hard toll and self denial of himself and wife and their children, as they became old enough to help, gradually got ahead. At the time of his death he owned two good farms and a large amount of livestock. Two years ago he built one of the largest barns in this part of the country. Since then the family has been saving for a new home.

My grandfather Clarence was the seventh child, and the second youngest surviving boy in this family. He was 9 when his parents and youngest and oldest brother died. My father tells the story of how my grandfather relived the sickness. He was one of the first to recover from the illness. He said it was his job to take care of his 4 year old sister for days, fearing she would die overnight several times that week.

Clarence survived a hard childhood, got married, and had 4 children of his own. Sadly he lost one of his daughters at 3 months old to pneumonia, and his wife died from complications caused by rheumatoid arthritis in her 40s. My father was only 15 years old when he lost his mother, but she was hospitalized for much of his youth.

I had a special bond with my grandpa Clarence who lived down the hallway from me growing up. Clarence lived to be 76. He died on my 11th birthday after suffering a heart attack while working on the farm. When I visit the farm, I sleep in the room that was once his.

While tragic, these stories of loss to illnesses that are very treatable today, are especially impactful for me this year.

For players who have been around the game for years, they likely felt like I have been missing for much of this year. It has been 6 months since my last blog post, twitter and Facebook have been very quiet, and when was the last time the apps were updated?

One partial reason for the lack of activity is that I have been working on the most challenging game update I’ve ever attempted for most of the summer and fall. It is nearly ready to release and there will be more information in a blog post I will probably publish in a week or two.

However, this has been a tough year for my family. My wife had minor surgery earlier this year to correct a problem that plagued her for months. While by today’s medical standards, the procedure was very simple, the same condition was a contributing cause of her great grandmother’s death. More troubling this year, my teen daughter has been fighting intestinal issues since March. We have seen so many doctors, and had so many tests. The summer has been a whirlwind of appointments and stress. A 3 day visit to the Mayo Clinic finally eliminated some possible issues, including the need for surgery. Doctors now believe the most probable path to recovery will take some work developing new routines and habits, which has its own kind of stress, but it was a positive outcome that nothing terrible was found. When I think of all the things we’ve gone through this year and the top notch medical treatments we have experienced, it is hard not to think about what could have been had we lived in our grandparents, or great grandparents generation.

QONQR took a back seat to other priorities for much of this year. For the first time in nearly 5 years, QONQR wasn’t priority #1 for me.

In February, my developer who had been with the company for 3 years, who I hired while he was still in college, decided to take a new job. It was time, and we talked for months about his goals and when he might leave. When he started at QONQR, nearly all the technology was brand new for him. When he left, he was a developer with experience building a multi-lingual mobile app on three different mobile platforms, with cloud development experience for building systems at scale. He had outgrown QONQR and the salary I could pay. I was proud to have prepared him for the next step.

I had decided I would wait a few months before looking for his replacement, but then the health issues began. The timing could not have been better. It would have been difficult to manage the work of my former developer while everything was going on, and there would have been absolutely no way I could train a new person. Call it fate or what you will, but it was definitely the best time for me to be running QONQR on my own. With no employees, no one tethered me to the office during regular business hours, giving me the freedom to do the other things that needed to be done during the day.

In early summer, a very large company approached me asking for help with their mobile app after seeing a talk I gave on mobile security at a local conference. Some of you may even have one of their vehicles parked in your garage. Normally I would have said no to anything that took me away from QONQR. However with insurance as it is today, and enormous deductibles, I took a 1 day a week consulting engagement to help this company. This gave me the opportunity to earn some extra money to help with the new bills, and was beneficial to me in two ways. A temporary change of scenery is nice. It rejuvenates a developer to jump into a new project and work with new solutions every once and a while. Additionally, it has become an opportunity for me to interact with several developers on a regular basis, trading tips and techniques that make us better at what we do.

This summer has been one of priorities and tradeoffs. The summer, which stretched into the fall, has been good for me. I’ve spent more time with my family, and purposely removed much of my work stress by letting QONQR “coast” at a moderate work pace. For much of this year, I have only worked 25-40 hours a week on QONQR, instead of the typical 60-70 hours a week of the previous 4 years.

QONQR could have very easily entered a slide that was unrecoverable. Sometimes customers lose confidence when owners disappear. Every entrepreneur fears that their business could crash the moment they take their eye away to focus on something else. You didn’t let that happen. You kept things going, even while I was distracted with more important things.

This brings me to what I am thankful for. Family and health. When I look back at the tragedy that impacted my family only one and two generations back, I understand how fortunate my family is today. I’m thankful my wife has a good job. I’m thankful she tolerates my work schedule. I’m glad I have the flexibility to shift my time as I need it. I’m thankful my career has given me the skills and experience that present opportunities I need when times are tough.

For you the QONQR player, I am very thankful for you. In the past year, revenue has stayed steady. Player growth is slowing increasing. I’ve seen an increase in the community collaboration. I’ve seen “retired” players return to the game with energy and enthusiasm. Yes we may have been “coasting” through the summer and fall, but thanks to you, we were coasting up hill.

When I look back and think about how we got here, I see struggle. I see week after week of absurd hours and work days that end at 2am multiple days a week. I see years of receiving no pay, and living on bank debt. I see the fight to keep the servers stable and the game a positive experience. I see all this, and I see where we are now.

I see QONQR. I see a game the chugs along without the need for me to closely monitor servers or player interactions. I see players that create community and family from strangers. I see passion and excitement. I see players being creative and pushing themselves to find new and interesting ways to enjoy the game. I see people that make it possible for me to keep living this crazy life of an entrepreneur, even when that life won’t let me be fully engaged with my business. I see friends.

Stay tuned for more blog posts. I have a few more things that are almost ready to share. Things are getting back to normal for me, and I’m looking forward to new things we have planned.

Thank you! You make QONQR possible. You make QONQR great. Together we will do more.

-Scott (aka Silver)

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lexiemybestfriend · 8 years ago

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Entry

Autumn is my favorite season. Fall, 2004, took on a new level of enjoyment: crazy, messy, uncertain, and improved version of enjoyment...with a couple of exceptions.

Mornings, I hate them - always have hated them. My circadian, when given opportunity, always seems to revolve around a 10am-2am cycle. Guess who loved to get up early? Lexie would have made a great Marine. Typically, she was awake before sunrise and required zero lag time between sleep mode and wide, freaking, awake. I would hear her sniffing around the bedroom and occasionally playing with her ball. Truth be told, guilt was the only reason that I would stumble out of bed, in the beginning. I knew that tiny body contained a tiny bladder. I didn’t want to clean up a mess. More importantly, I wanted to set a precedent that my puppy understood: if she needed to use the bathroom, she simply needed to let me know. As a result, my dutiful little dog was potty-trained in about two weeks and only had a few accidents.

Once awake and moving, as much as I wanted to climb back into bed, I guessed that morning walks were important. Each morning, we would work on simple obedience commands, in the backyard: sit, stop, stay, come, and off. I was never interested in “tricks.” I always looked at Lexie as a friend, not a toy. Also, I hoped this little bit of activity might “take the edge off” her puppy energy and the walk would be less stressful, as a result. I’m not sure it helped. I was guessing at everything.

Then, off we would go. Walks, at that time, were pretty short. So, we would return and play for a while in my Mother’s backyard. We tried throwing sticks and balls but it was obvious that Lexie, despite two breeds of retriever blood coursing through her body, was not interested. One daily activity: we would stop side-by-side, after an enthusiastic “go,” we would sprint across the yard. Lexie seemed to enjoy this little race while, I’m certain, thinking I was an idiot. I won every morning. We wrestled. She climbed on my lap. I turned her every way a puppy could be flipped around. I carried her until she learned that hyper-squiggling would get her back onto the ground. When winter rolled in, I would lob snowballs at her, which she would get very excited about. Many years later, she still loved a similar game any time we had some water, in any form, to play in.

One of my favorite memories was when I woke up to find that my little puppy had left her bed of blankets to fall asleep in my laundry basket. It wasn’t an easy entry for her short little legs. Something about the smell of my clothes must have made her feel safe. It was the first time that I truly felt this tiny dog felt some of the same things I did about our friendship.

One benefit, of returning back near my family, was holiday food. The youngest of five children, I was the only sibling who chose not to act out the mid-western dream of marrying early and producing offspring. But, since my brother and sisters lived the cliche, there were a lot of people when we got together for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And, there was a lot of home-made food, so I was happy. That first Christmas, Lexie’s paws rarely touched the floor - someone was always holding her. She handled the noise, food smells, and crowded house exceptionally well. She even got to play with a Pomeranian that Karen, my sister, brought over. Lexie, at three months old, was essentially the same size and it was fun to watch her romp around with her first canine buddy.

Life was about to hit a whole new level of crazy, with the new year. For now, having a new friend and a lot of free time during Autumn was a nice beginning, after relocating from California in July. At the time, it appeared that I had made a great choice to change almost everything in my life.

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velvetcream03-blog · 6 years ago

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Pregnancy / Third Trimester

Excited to chat with you and share more pregnancy updates. I am currently 37.5 weeks as I am writing this but wanted to get this post up before baby came! Hope you enjoy these updates and if there is anything else you are dying to know, please leave me a comment on this blog post and I will be sure to answer in the comments below. Also, can you even with these photos of Lola?? Her eyes just melt me.

WEIGHT GAINED As of the start of week 37, I have gained 21 pounds.

HOW BIG IS BABY By week 37, Baby is the size of a head of romaine lettuce. A little over 6 lbs!

BABY MOVEMENT This baby is having a dance party on the inside. Of what I have read, movements start to get smaller because there is less room to be moving around but I feel like for me personally movements are bigger and more of them! Baby has been head down since week 18 and his little foot/leg has been kicking and pushing me on the left this whole time. It’s crazy how I can feel it. Getting alot of pressure and punches in my lady parts (sorry… TMI) but little man is making his own plans to break out of uterus jail. HA.

HOW I’M FEELING: PHYSICALLY Heartburn + Reflux: I have never really experienced the kind of heartburn and reflux that I have with pregnancy and my heart goes out to people that have to deal with these symptoms in their normal non-preggo lives. It’s funny because Blake actually has always struggled with reflux and now… I feel his pain. When you are pregnant a lot of your muscles start to relax because of all the hormones and heartburn and reflux can pop up out of nowhere. And HOLY CRAP. It’s bad.

I had started feeling burning in my throat over the beginning weeks in this trimester and everything hit the fan one night. I had eaten an early dinner at 6pm at a favorite mexican spot and enjoyed chips and salsa and then a simple dinner and was out for much of the night on my feet. That night I went to bed and work up at 2am feeling hot, sweaty, and sick…. And then I vomited like 7 times from the reflux. That whole night was sheer hell. The next day…. Equally hellish. I remember crying to Blake that if the whole third trimester was going to be like this… I don’t know how I would survive it.

Luckily I had a doctors appointment soon after that and now take pepcid extra strength 20 mg morning and night. It’s been literally saving me. I have still had some instances of reflux even taking the meds but it’s helping so much so I am incredibly grateful. Other things I do are eat an earlier dinner, avoid reflux trigger foods at night and never lay down after eating. Now at 37 weeks luckily these symptoms have slowed down for me.

Peeing my pants: Guys, still peeing my pants on the regular. Since the baby has dropped lower I have alot more pressure on my bladder and I have to hit the bathroom again constantly. Almost more so than the first trimester.

Hello Nausea: I feel like week 28 hit and the nausea was instantly back. Just when I thought I had left that nasty symptom in the past… it came back. Luckily the nausea is not 24/7 and comes and goes some days and not other days. At least I know to keep extra snacks and crackers with me and that’s been helping.

Fat foot: If you follow me on instagram… you know the story of “Fat Foot.” It’s the dead of Summer heat where I live and even the humidity is up. The last 2 weeks my one foot has been swelling the minute I start to be on my feet as well as going outside. It almost started happening out the blue. My one foot swells incredibly and the other does not. It’s super bizarre. I spoke to my doctor and she said that sometimes one foot can swell more than the other depending on the side of the body the baby is favoring. Honestly there isn’t much I can do about but I will tell you what I have been doing. When I can, I will wear compression socks around the house but honestly, it’s so hot I don’t do this that often. I also do ice water baths to help with the inflammation. I also elevate my feet whenever possible. So for now, I just have to make fun of my fat foot and do the best I can. I hear the swelling can last after delivery as well so hoping fat foot disappears sometime soon.

Exhaustion: The exhaustion is REAL in the third trimester. I feel like when it hits 4pm, I become utterly useless. Knowing my body just runs out of steam so much quicker, I try to really focus earlier in the day. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who pretty much makes dinner every night so that I can keep my feet up and rest most nights. I think the important thing is that I listen to my body and rest when I need it.

The Uncomfortable Stage: Basically at a certain point during the day, my body is just completely uncomfortable. With baby almost at max capacity pushing on all my organs… my body is just FULL. Not much room for anything. So I become increasingly uncomfortable as the day goes on and by the evening, I feel like baby is pushing up into my boobs and pushing down on my bladder all at the same time.

Braxton Hicks?: I could not tell you if I really had braxton hicks yet but I will say that I have had some pain centered in the lower part of my pelvis come and go. It’s hard to pin point what all these sensations, pains and aches really are since this is my first child. But I will say, things are happening.

HOW I’M FEELING: MENTALLY Everyone keeps asking me “How I am feeling??” “Are you ready?” “Are you anxious? Excited?” Basically it’s ALL OF THE ABOVE. I have been pretty upfront with you guys that the process of being pregnant isn’t always my favorite. Pregnancy is HARD WORK and once the third trimester rolls around, these last few weeks can be extra challenging. I am both ready to meet our little man TOMORROW! And also feel like, “OMG I NEED MORE TIME TO PREPARE!” It’s a huge mixed bag of emotions. But really, we are so ready to meet our little baby and I think the sheer will to just meet him will start to disappear any of the lingering anxiety that might be there.

I am not going to lie, Labor has been on my mind and it scare me going into this big unknown process. We did take prepared childbirth classes at the hospital so they did paint a bigger picture for the birth scenarios that can typically take place in the hospital. While some of these classes were a big alarming, I will say that I am someone fueled by information. So educating myself on the process was important in helping me to enter into labor with an open mind. People always ask if we have a birth plan and the answer is no. I know babies tend to have a plan of their own and especially after going through the fertility process… I have had to give up alot of control and put trust in the process. My only labor preference if I can make one is to have an epidural. That is really one of my only preferences at the moment. Bottom line is that whatever it is that gets my baby out safely and healthy, that is what I want to do. I have tremendous trust in my doctor and the hospital and I know they will guide me in the right direction for my baby. My personal philosophy will be to go with the flow. Now, this is easier said than done but my goal is that with this kind of mindset will get me through this wild experience. So while the nerves are going, so is the excitement. I am only putting out good vibes for a great labor, healthy baby, and happy mama. Everyone LOVES to try to tell me their horror stories but you know what, check your story at the door. Nothing but good vibes over here that I am putting out to the universe. At one of our last appointments… and this is going to be a bit graphic… but the doctor said, “Ooo I feel his head!”… HOLY FREAKING CRAP. It put things into perspective just how soon we are going to meet our baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like wow. Blake and I had this huge smile and amazement on our face. How did we get so lucky to make it to this point. So much gratitude is filling these last few weeks of pregnancy you have no idea.

FETAL DIAGNOSTICS APPOINTMENTS Since the doctors discovered my marginal cord insertion, I have been getting monthly growth ultrasounds to check in and make sure that baby’s growth is on track. Everything has been perfect so far so we are very grateful to be tracking this. In addition to this, we started going to fetal diagnostics at 35 weeks. This entails going to the hospital and having baby’s heart and movements monitored for 20-40 minutes 2x a week. I also have my fluids checked to make sure everything is looking good. It’s alot of extra time for doctors appointments but whatever it takes to keep an eye on our baby boy I would do in a heartbeat. It also ends up giving Blake and I peace of mind knowing baby is growing and looking good.

HOW I’M SLEEPING I still sleep surprisingly well, all things considered. I wake up some nights to use the bathroom in the middle of the night but not every night. I do take unisom every night to help me sleep. My doctor suggested it when I was having troubles with restless sleeping and it’s REALLY helped me.

EXERCISE My energy levels are much lower than they have been so I have not been getting to the gym as much this trimester. I do try to push myself to go walk for 30 minutes on the treadmill when I am up for it. I do still go to prenatal yoga once a week to continue and keep up with all my stretching and mindfulness practices. I continue to listen to my body and if I really don’t feel up to making it to the gym, I take time and rest. It’s so important that I listen to what my body needs.

CHALLENGES Tying my shoes: Thank goodness that Blake can help to tie my shoes some days or take my shoes off. Basically things close to the floor are now dead to me. Hahahaha.

Full stomach: I barely have any room for dinner these days. I am just so full by the time dinner time rolls around so sometimes eating dinner is a big struggle. I try to really enjoy a bigger breakfast or lunch when my appetite and stomach allow for a bigger meal. We also try to eat dinner a bit on the earlier side as well.

Body slowing down: I think it’s hard to accept that my body has slowed down quite a bit in this last trimester. I try to push myself to my original limits but I just can’t do some of the things I used to do because I don’t have the energy, or I am physically just unable to do them. All of this is ok but it’s funny because you expect to be able to do certain things and it always comes to be a shock at first when you can’t. The heat has been finally getting to me and slowing me down big time. Thank goodness we have air conditioning so I can be home in my icebox while Blake tries to play thermostat wars with me. If you want to know how to anger a pregnant lady, just mess with her thermostat. YOU WILL LOSE. HA!

WHAT I’M WEARING Most days if I am running errands or working at the house I am in gym or lounge clothes. Whatever is most comfortable. If I am getting dresses, I basically rotate through all my tank dresses. It’s what I am most comfortable. Since I am nearing the end of pregnancy, I have put a hold on buying anymore clothes. So I am mostly cycling through my favorite pieces that still fit. This includes dresses like this, this, this and this. I have also loved dressier pieces from naked wardrobe which are surprisingly lined pretty well.

JUST THE TWO OF US (plus Lola!) Blake and I have been making it a point to head to our favorite restaurants and just spend time doing some of the things we love just the two of us (or with Lola by our side!). Alot of my mom friends recommended we take advantage of this time and make date night a big priority. So we are doing that big time. We are also making sure to do some extra special things with Lola. Extra trips to the beach to sit and read our kindles. Enjoying our quiet time sleeping in and enjoying this special time before our family grows.

BABY PREPARATIONS Our nursery is ALMOST complete!!! We are just waiting on the dresser to arrive. Of course… it might arrive after baby but you know what, it’s no big deal. I organized everything that would go into the dresser into bins and we set up a folding table in it’s place temporarily so that we could set up our changing pad etc to still have everything ready. Can’t wait for the dresser to arrive so the we can complete the room and get some photos to share with you. The room is feeling so ZEN to me and I know baby boy is going to love it.

We finally set up our SNOO this weekend so I am SO excited to finally put this thing into action. Since we plan to have the baby in the bassinet in our bedroom, I have my night light set up on my nightstand already and we will have some baby goodies set up in our bedroom for those late night feedings and diaper changes. We also set up our baby monitor (which Blake picked out) as well as our little owlet. I am so all about all of this great tech baby stuff and have heard amazing reviews from some of my mama friends. So I will be excited to finally try them out myself and report back if they live up to the hype.

I am also in FULL ON nesting mode. I have been cleaning out my closet, going through my dresser drawers, and all out prepping as much as possible to get our house clean and organized for baby. Even Blake is nesting hard making sure we are organized.

Our hospital bags are finally packed! You can get a sneak peek of what we are packing here but I am shooting photos for my blog post this week so I hope to share that soon for all your mamas-to-be that have sent me questions asking what we are bringing. I am also still working on my registry post for you guys. Stay tuned.

WHATS NEXT Baby watch is in full effect. With less than 3 weeks till my due date who knows what could happen!! I continue to go to fetal monitoring 2x a week as well as my weekly doctors appointments from here on out. Basically we are just waiting to meet our little person and I can’t wait for the day I get to share him with the world. I can’t wait to meet you Baby Boy.

Source: https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/08/13/pregnancy-third-trimester/

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kurtwarren54 · 6 years ago

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Pregnancy / Third Trimester

WEIGHT GAINED As of the start of week 37, I have gained 21 pounds.

HOW BIG IS BABY By week 37, Baby is the size of a head of romaine lettuce. A little over 6 lbs!

CHALLENGES Tying my shoes: Thank goodness that Blake can help to tie my shoes some days or take my shoes off. Basically things close to the floor are now dead to me. Hahahaha.

The post Pregnancy / Third Trimester appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/08/13/pregnancy-third-trimester/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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elizabethcariasa · 6 years ago

Text

Pregnancy / Third Trimester

WEIGHT GAINED As of the start of week 37, I have gained 21 pounds.

HOW BIG IS BABY By week 37, Baby is the size of a head of romaine lettuce. A little over 6 lbs!

CHALLENGES Tying my shoes: Thank goodness that Blake can help to tie my shoes some days or take my shoes off. Basically things close to the floor are now dead to me. Hahahaha.

The post Pregnancy / Third Trimester appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

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underthestars0 · 7 years ago

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January 3, 2018

Soooo. It’s the new year and I have not update you in forever. Nope, I am not dead. But a lot has happened and I couldn’t find the time, nor the strength to write. Now here I am. In Glasgow, in my new flat for the next 5 months and I’m freaking out. Sometimes I’m freaking out because I’m so far from everyone and it scares the crap out of me. Sometimes I’m freaking out because I’m in fucking Scotland for the next 5 months and it’s amazing. It’s the biggest rollercoaster of my entire life and I sure hope it’s going to get better.

I won’t go over everything that happened in details just because the last 2 days could fill up an entire book but here goes nothing.

The 27th, I took it easy in the morning. I started to fill up my suitcase and in the afternoon I got a haircut. I wouldn’t have gone this early because I didn’t feel like my hair was long enough to get it cut just yet but the fact that I wouldn’t be able to get it cut for the next 5 month kind of influenced my decision. I got it cut quite a lot making it reach a little over my shoulders which is perfect for now.

In the evening, my friend came over for our typical movie night and so we caught up, talked a lot about the fact that we were going to miss each other and then we watched movies. It was nice. It also made me go to bed very late which was fine for me just because it allowed me to spend more time with her.

On the 28th during the day I didn’t do much. I hung around, spent time with my family and packed a bit more. In the evening though, it was my Christmas Party with my other 2 best friends. It was nice. We first went out for supper which was great. We ate delicious food and got to catch up because we hadn’t seen each other in over 1 week (that’s unusual for us).

Once back at my friend’s place, we chilled in her bedroom. We drank, talked, put on makeup, played with our hair, filmed a video for my friend’s youtube channel and then we took pictures. We ended up going to bed it was past 2am but I wouldn’t have changed anything about this evening. It was amazing and I was with two of my favorite people. I already miss them both so much in here.

On the 29th, after waking up late, me and the one of the two that wasn’t working decided to go for breakfast. It was more like lunch since we got there at like 1pm but it was nice to get to talk some more. Then, I came back home, showered and got ready for a night out. First, me and my mom (and my brother who joined us later) went out with good friends for supper. It was nice to see them and just take it easy before I leave.

Once back home, I got ready real quit and then I drove to a friend’s. From there, we went to the pub for my leaving party. It was amazing. Most of the people I love showed up and I just enjoyed to see them one last time. The only problem that happened that evening is that the pub closed at 11:30pm for personal reasons, so we had to find a way to drive to another pub. We did it thought and got there for like 1am. We stayed until 3am and took a taxi. I was extremely satisfied with my evening.

On the 30th, I slept in a little and then woke up to my friend making us some waffles. They were good and I said goodbye after eating because I was joining my friend at the cinema. We saw the Greatest Showman and it was amazing. I wouldn’t have chosen any other movie. We said goodbye in my entryway after and I cried a little. For supper, my mom made me my favorite and we ate all of us with my brother’s girlfriend for our last supper together. That was nice. I cried a lot once again but I least I got to hang out with them.

In the morning of the 31st, me and my father went out for breakfast. It was awesome. I had wanted to have a little moment with my father alone for a while and I finally got it. I was happy to be in his company and it allowed me to catch up with him before leaving. I would have taken longer but I took what I could have. In the afternoon I got everything ready and then I got ready for the evening. It was new year’s eve so I went for supper at my parent’s party and then headed to my friend’s party for the evening. It allowed me to see everyone one last time and we had a very good time. We wished everyone a happy new year and I got a lift back home at about 2am.

The next morning was my last day back home. I packed, packed, packed and then I ate one last poutine and left for the airport. Saying goodbye was a mess. I cried, cried and cried and then I did it. I took the place. Buuuuuuut, it got late. Like 2 hours late and my layover was only 1 hours and 20 minutes. So, I freaked out. In the end, they delayed my second flight as well and it all went well. That’s until one of my luggage didn’t show. I panicked again.

I got to the flat then and the little dude showed me around. I kept it together until I got into the room and then I panicked and cried my eyes out. My mom was there for me which was amazing. I went to bed a little, tried to warm the room and then I went out to buy stuff. I took the bus to get there, wanted to take the bus to get back but I ended up buying so much that I had to take an uber. It went well. I unpacked my stuff and spent my entire evening talking to each and every one of my friends one by one. It was great. It made me feel much better. After talking a cold af shower (there was no hot water (I got it fixed this morning)), I went to bed.

Waking up this morning was hard. I’m still completely jet lagged so all I wanted to do was sleep and I so wasn’t hungry. I still went out of bed, watched tv while eating and tried to get to know where my luggage was. In the end, I learned that it’ll be coming over tomorrow which is awesome.

I also ended up going to reception to get answers to all of my questions (like; is it normal that I don’t have hot water?) and then I went to the store again. I got what I was missing and then came back right on time for early supper (I usually eat later than 5pm but because of jetlag I get hungry at random times). So, I ate and then I started to plan stuff for tomorrow which is my first orientation day. It should be nice. I still have to prepare some more and shower and get ready so I’ll leave this at that.

Overall, I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I have in the past 2 days but I’m getting better and excited so that’s all that matters. Starting school and meeting people should help and then we’ll see… Five months seems like forever now but I’m pretty sure it’ll pass by crazy fast. So hey, here’s to this crazy adventure and to me, who is now in the UK. That’s crazyyyyyy.

Until next time, L

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