#i turn into a kardashin

[h0t-p1nk-ch33tah-pr1nt]

I love hearing abt like the stories in other fandoms or what's going on in the series bc no way charcter a did that chatcter b?!? Ur joking, like fr give charcter c some respect

[allegraforchrist]

Self Image as a woman is constant battle between comparison and content.

Idolize the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfect skin routine, the perfect face shape, the perfect breast size, the perfect gym glutes, the must-be-perfected everything about ourselves.

And after we ‘achieve’ one of the above, we move on to the next project of ourselves.

Women of God, there’s a difference between bettering your body and eating habits, versus objecting your body and eating habits. What I mean by objecting is subjecting ourselves as constant object of attention - attention to the self, and not to God. Attention to the self-image, instead of God’s image.

We should want what is God’s best - for our souls, minds, bodies, and health. We are the temple for the Holy Spirit. But taking that best and turning it into nitpicking obsession, is never going to satisfy your fleshly self-image. You are created in God’s image.

You are the rib, the daughter, the child, the woman of God. When you complicate your beauty in Christ, (beauty as in faith, modesty, prayer, love, kindness, fruits of the spirit, peace), you compromise Christ.

Instead of reflecting Christ, you’re reflecting the world. You’re fixing your outward appearance to match the mask of unpredictable industries.

You can’t say you love God, but then love complaining about your facial features, your body shape, your weight, your stretch marks, your hair, your lips… your whole Godly make up boiled down to what the world defines as a “woman”.

I’ve been here, and I am here, and to be honest, nothing in the world is going to make you a more beautiful daughter, sister, mother, wife, than being in Christ.

We need to value ourselves according to the Word, and not the word of articles, tiktoks, hacks, tutorials, skinny exercise Pilates or whatever.

We mustn’t trade our authentic femininity for short-lived vanity. Don’t idolize what you wear, your makeup, your hair, your skin, your fitness level… etc. Instead of praising God and giving Glory to Him, you give praise and glory to companies and models, and products. I’m not saying don’t get your hair down, don’t go to the gym and get fit, don’t get your nails done, don’t eat healthier, don’t try new methods to help with your acne and stretch marks and dermatological complications, don’t not love your gift of being pretty. I’m saying we mustn’t make our outward appearance the standard over Christ. Our outward must reflect our inward, and that happens when we take our eyes off our insecurities and set them in Christ and the loving Word of God.

Nothing in appearance lasts forever, we aren’t going to look younger and cuter when our bodies are buried one day. Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Seek God, seek His image in you, seek His beauty, His purity, His love: because we are made in His image. We are fearfully and wonderfully made! Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

No, maybe you’re not a Victoria Secret Model like Adriana Lima. You’re not the ideal blonde like Taylor Swift, you’re not curvy like Kim Kardashin, you’re not fit like Simone Biles, you’re not attractive like the DCC Cheerleaders, you’re not super intelligent like Amy from the TBBT, you’re not cleared skinned like Jennie from Black Pink. It doesn’t matter what you’re not, it matters what you are: a woman of God. What makes a woman of God attractive and beautiful and intelligent and pleasing, Her love for Christ! PROVERBS 31! Your value and belle is beyond worldy measure. Proverbs 31:15-18, “…She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed.

Don’t spend your life hating your body, it is your vessel for the Adonai Almighty.

^ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

^ 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Don’t simplify your significance to God, by treating it as an insecurity. You’re perfect as following Him makes you to be. Matthew 19:21, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

[freakymcnastys]

“possibly in michigan” a creepp book - headcannons

general headcannons:

slenderman is british.

despite what people might think the mansion is way bigger on the inside

it has its own theater, bar, hell even a convenience store, no one actually knows how the store gets stocked

ben is too scared to go down there bc of that

the slender brothers come over every thanksgiving and christmas but offender is limited to the living room and dining room…

sally FORCES jeff to dress up for tea parties

jeff cuts his own hair but is surprisingly good at it

thinking about how smile dog is basically jeffs therapy dog :(((

jack has def tried to eat jeffs kidneys but give up cuz jeff woke up 💔💔

toby is an AVID game theory/matpat stan like he loves watching everything matpat is in so when he announced his retirement….lets say it was ROUGH.

slender puts all of sally’s drawings on the fridge and when they isn’t enough room he would rather buy another fridge then get rid of them

masky is like the stressed out older sibling 🤷‍♀️

ben has drank paint.

has a snapchat gc where they send each other snaps

whenever slender and jeff (or anyone for that matter) talk/argue slender has to bend at a 90 degree angle 😭😭

devon’s headcannons:

definitely butt dials people and scares the shit outta them 💀

going along with that devon totally prank calls people with ben and is like “is ur refrigerator running” 😭

her and jack watch reality tv shows (love and hiphop, dr phil, kardashins, etc)

devon’s fav movie is donnie darko…😁

she always sends jack funny tiktoks while he sends her reels

her chainsaws name is jellybean !

sometimes when she goes out with the proxys she brings fake slender pages (saying stuff like “bitchless” and the entire bee movie script) and hangs them up (but slender always finds them and yells at her)

her fav slenderbrother is probably trenderman

PERSONALLY i think that like the demon and jack are two different ppl so like whenever ‘the beast’ gets out it’s not rlly jack? yk?

so one time ‘the beast’ was fed up with jack actually letting himself feel feelings for devon that he brought devon to the tree where she got hung, to kill her 😁 but dw he failed but jack felt bad after ☹️👎

has told hoodie to ‘turn that frown upside down’….

goes up to masky and gets up real close and whispers… “i know what you are..” and just walks away..

maxine’s headcannons:

isn't quite used to newer slang so she still talks how people in the 1920s did and nobody really understands her that well...

she hates her cellphone and WILL NOT use it unless it's direly needed.

she definitely has a record collection but it's all jazzy and "old-timey" music and she does not let anyone else near her records or her record player

she would teach ben how to ballroom dance and then force him to have dancing sessions with her because her favorite thing to do when she was human was to dance at parties

slenderman FOR SURE banned smoking in the house but maxine is allowed to break that rule so she waltzes around the house with her huge cigarette holder bullying jeff cause he definitely wants to smoke.

she generally dislikes getting help with wounds and stuff because of all the malpractice that was preformed on her when she was human

the phantom of the opera (1925) is her absolute favorite movie and one day slender comes back from the store with the 2004 version and she literally falls in love with him right at that moment

she's like your grandma that 1. doesn't know how to work her phone (or tv or anything) and 2. says things that she thinks mean one thing and they actually don't... like for example....maxine: im sending lols jack: maxine someone died...why are you laughing out loud... maxine: oh i thought that meant lots of love :( jack: oh my fucking god bro

the effects of her lobotomy pop up from time to time when she's doing stuff so sometimes she loses the ability to focus and kind of "dumbs down" because people who are lobotomized often lose their higher levels of intellectuals and then she loses the ability to emotionally respond so slender has to help her out and keep an eye on her cause she might do something dumb. :(( then once she comes back she feels so bad that slender had to basically babysit her and he feels worse cause how could anyone do his love like that

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS BUT- maxine and slenderman compliment eachother so well. he's a gentleman and she's a ladylike woman and they just...fit perfectly together

her favorite modern (ish) movie is the shining cause it reminds her of the good old days and she would be like "ah yes i remember when people would kill at parties" and everyone else is like "what"

her 1920s brain loves coloring books cause she's probably never been stimulated via colors so she has a bunch of coloring books and people come over and are like "slender i didn't know you found a child" and he's all like "oh no that's just maxine"

i think sometimes she forgets she doesn't live alone and she will walk out of her room in her underwear and is like "oh great heavens my bad gs"

- love always, kat + devina <3

[ultimatecutenesspeaks]

Bunny thanks I’m love you both too very much a lot too we’ll at least it not like we are going to the museum or something like that honestly it will be super boring to go there at least it won’t happen right ? Shini thanks for that you dump bitch actually we are in next week appreciate it for the hystory exam about ancient Egypt our classes will go but you just have to remember me saying that bunny you are so rude as soon bunny start to cry dramatically like Kim kardashin again

*Mizuki soon turns to Bunny before taking off her boot and lifting it up slowly.*

Mizuki: Looks like it'll take you a little bit for that lesson to settle in... shall I speed it up for you?

[tinyarmedtrex]

(This is Reddie-Fangirl24) For the one-worded prompts: Exhausted

TW for talking about the coronavirus (just in case people can’t handle hearing about it anymore)

Eddie was absolutely exhausted. He was so tired that his teeth hurt- which he was fairly sure didn’t make sense but he was far too wiped out to examine whether or not it made sense. The closest he’d been to being this tired was taking his nursing exams and even those hadn’t been this bad.

Since the outbreak of the coronavirus he’d been working doubles, trying to help his fellow nurses and hospital staff however he could, especially since he was one of the single people who didn’t have a spouse or kids to worry about. Today, he had started at six am and now it was- he glanced at the clock and groaned quietly- already seven pm. Time was moving so strangely lately but he knew if he stopped it’d be worse. Work, helping people, was the only thing keeping him sane right now so he kept moving, no matter how much his body protested.

“We’ve got another celeb in room two. Can you do the test?” Jackie, his favorite coworker, asked.

Eddie looked up at her, rolling his eyes. He was sick of celebrities cutting in line and getting the tests even though they had no symptoms. Meanwhile, actually ill people were being turned away. It was disgusting and he didn’t have time for it. 

“Is it another Kardashin because if it is-”

“No.” She glanced at the clipboard. “Oh, it’s Richie Tozier.” He must have had a blank look because she continued, “You know, the comedian? He has like four specials on netflix.”

Eddie tried to remember the name of any comedian. “So he’s like- Ellen?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Don’t ever change Eddie. Now, will you give him the test or should I ask Stu?”

“I’ve got it.” Eddie grabbed one of the kits. Half of the celebrities turned back once they saw the test, suddenly deciding that they weren’t sick once he explained where the q-tip was going. 

Then he wandered to room two, sure that he could scare this comedian off and give this test to someone who actually needed it. When he entered the room though he was surprised to see a man on the bed who actually looked sick.

“Finally!” A second man said, rushing towards Eddie. “We’ve been waiting for hours!”

“Chill out Steve.” The man in the bed croaked. “It’s been like twenty minutes.”

“That's far too long for someone like you. This is Richie Tozier, do you even know how much he’s worth?” Steve replied, gesturing to Richie, who waved and looked embarrassed. 

“Are you his brother? Boyfriend?” Eddie asked, going to wash his hands and then pull on gloves and a new mask, ignoring Steve’s rant. 

From the bed Richie laughed. “Boyfriend! Can you imagine Steve? You and me cuddling on the couch?” 

“No, because I have standards. I’m his assistant.” The man replied tersely. 

“Then you need to leave.” Eddie told him. “We’ll probably have to test you too but for now can you wait in the next room? It’s easier with just the patient.” 

The man waved Eddie off, already back to texting on his phone, and Eddie turned to the bed, looking at the sweaty, rasping man in it. He vaguely recognized Richie now, netflix seemed sure that Eddie would love his shows and kept advertising them at him. 

“I must have already died because there’s an angel in front of me.” Richie said, grinning at him.

“I’m Eddie and I’ll be your nurse.” Eddie replied, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the pick up line. “We need to test you for the virus. I’m going to stick this,” He picked up the test. “Down your nose. It will hurt.”

“Most guys would buy me dinner first.” Richie wheezed but he nodding, letting Eddie help him sit up.  

“How many people have you been in contact with?” He asked, placing a gloved hand under Richie’s chin and tipping his nose up. 

“Why? Are you the jealous type? This will never work if you can’t trust me babe.” 

Internally Eddie rolled his eyes but out loud he explained, “I need to know how many others we may need to test.” He said as he pressed the swab in. Richie winced but didn’t draw back. 

“Just my manager. I’ve been holed up in my apartment, trying to write, then I passed out. He came and got me when I didn’t answer his texts. Then he dragged me here.” 

Eddie nodded, pulling the swab out. “You did great, I’ve seen a lot of people cry from this.” 

“Lots of experience sticking legos up my nose.” Richie said, collapsing back on the bed. Eddie felt bad, it had to hurt to talk now but Richie was trying hard to seem like he was in good spirits. “What’s next doc?”“I’m a nurse.” Eddie said, bagging the sample. “We’ll run the test. It might be a few days until we know but you should quarantine until then. You don’t seem too sick so we’ll send you home with some supplies.”

“And maybe a cute nurse to help me out?” Richie asked, wigging his eyebrows at Eddie.

He paused, a hand on his hip. “You must be feeling okay if you’re hitting on me this much.” 

“Nah, if I stop flirting with sexy guys in scrubs assume I’m dead.” 

“Well don’t die on my watch.” Eddie knew he should leave, he had plenty of other patients but he found himself lingering by the door. Richie was watching him, cute despite the sweat that plastered his hair down. Eddie wanted to walk over and move it aside. 

“Because you like me?” Richie asked hopefully. 

“Because it looks bad for my numbers.”

Richie laughed, tipping his head back and letting out a loud barking laugh. It quickly turned to a coughing fit and Eddie rushed over, helping him sit up and patting his back till it stopped. 

“Go home, rest. Don’t talk to people.” Eddie said once Richie could breath. He forced himself to step back again, actually making it to the door before Richie spoke again. 

“Don’t you need my number? To call with the results?” 

“Actually the hospital will-” Eddie stopped as Richie grinned. “Oh.” 

“Oh.” Richie repeated and Eddie felt himself blushing under his mask. He had a general policy against dating patients but, he reasoned, Richie wasn’t a patient, not really. 

“You’ll probably need to quarantine for two weeks.” Eddie said, trying to run the reasons this was a bad idea- Richie was famous, Eddie wasn’t, they’d only know each other for ten minutes, he’s never hear the end of it from Jackie. “And I’m working a lot.”

“And every restaurant is closed and the world is going insane.” Richie grabbed a pen and wrote his number on a scrap of paper. “But I need more zoom friends and I’d like to see what you look like without the mask.” He held out the paper and finally, tentatively, Eddie took it, shoving it into his pocket. 

“I really do need to go.” Eddie said. 

“Go save some lives Nurse hottie.” 

He shook his head, smiling under his mask as he left the room. He felt more awake than he had in weeks.

@wheezyeds  @constantreaderfool @queen-sock  @jem-carstairs-is-perfection  @moonlightrichie @anellope @lifesucksheres20bucks @thorn-harvester-ven @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @andaleduardo @xandertheundead @s-s-georgie @s-onora @spirited-marvel  @roobarrtrashmouth @njess04 @gczebos @kasp-brakz @sourmoist @playing-jim @princesass-theresa @theandrewhurley @mimiharu @kaspbrak-tozier-reddie @no-she-wasnt-reddie  @oldguybones @sloppybitxch   @lumiereandcogsworth @sedanleystanley @kaspbrak-king @ticomat @hadererer @da-damned @space-gay14 @purplepoisonedgem @sparklingrainbowdragon @richietoaster

[aliciasfashionjourney]

                                       AZZEDINE ALAIA

          The Worlds most respected fashion designer.

Alaia was born on June, 1939 In Tunisia's capital city, Tunis to wheat farmers. From a young age Alaia had a passion for the arts, eventually he was studying sculpture in the local Ecole des Beaux-Arts which he lied about his age to get into. He didn't excel in it but he would be able to put it into use in the coming future. His sister taught him to sew and he began making copies of couture dresses for his neighbours.

    ‘FAMOUSLY SHY AND INFAMOUSLY INDEPENDENT’

In 1957, he moved to Paris and began working for Chrisitan Dior, but only managed 5 days of sewing labels and was unfortunately fired. Alaia then moved to Guy Laroche, for 2 seasons he learned his craft while earning his keep as a housekeeper to the Marquise de Mazan.

In the late seventies, he finally opened his first atelier in his small apartment, in which he created gowns for Marie-Helene de Rothschild and Greta Garbo.

During the eighties he showed his first ready-to-wear collection, ‘in the same year Bergdorf Goodman buyer reportedly stopped someone in the street that was wearing an Alaia leather coat and demanded to know where it was from.’ This allowed the Notorious perfectionist Alaia being stocked in America and he also opened a stand-alone store. In 1984, he was elected Best Designer of the Year and Best Collection of the Year by the French Ministry of Culture. As we have all heard of the stretchy body-conscious silhouette well the famously shy Alaia popularized the accentuating bust and clinched waist garments.

                         ‘Signature body-con silhouettes’

In the Mid-Nineties the death of his twin sister caused Alaia to withhold from the fashion limelight, he preddered to cater for his devoted clients out of his Marais workspace. During 1995, The supermodel Stephanie Seymour’s wedding dress was designed by the talented Alaia which apparently took 1,600 hours to make.

                                                                     ‘1,600 hours to make’

In 2000 he signed a partnership with the Prada group which came with a huge recovery in his popularity but ‘he stayed loyal to his vision for his fashion house. When working with the group he still managed to retain a level of independence. During July 2007 he bought the Prada Group out of the ready-to-wear line of his business, which meant leaving them in charge only of footwear. The luxury group Richemont bought a percentage of the business. In 2008 he turned down the Legion D’Honneur France's most prestigious honour: "You know Sarkozy offered methe medal? I refused," he told the Business ofFashion in July 2011. "People said that I refused because I don't like Sarkozy, but that's ridiculous. I refused because I don't like decorations - except on women. My dress on a woman -that's a beautiful decoration."

In July 2011 the first catwalk show in 7 years by Alaia, for which he was given a standing ovation. It was announced in 2012 that Alaia was opening a store in Paris his first since 1992.

                            ‘The notorious Perfectionist’

                                     Leather wrap bra top

The product that really caught my eye was the Leather Wrap bra top and that is because it looks trendy, quite risky reminds me of the style grunge. This top is very fashionable and can be worn with anything by looking at it. I feel it would look great over a white shirt or if your feeling rebellious and risky why not try without and solo. The cost of this professionally made top costs $3,420. When I clicked onto NET-A-PORTER website I saw the image above which was promoting the top.

                            The Style of Alaias clothing

I

     Ruffled printed cotton-poplin blouse - €1,025.38

I feel like the style of Azzedine Alaia clothing is sophiscated and professional but at times quite risky where abit of skin showing. The target market for Alaias clothing is more for like early 30s to 60s age. The clothing would really suit business women. 

                LASER-CUT COTTON-BLEND SHIRT-£1,590

Azzedine Alaia products have a variety of products including Dresses, Blouses, Shorts, Tops, Skirts, shoes and accessories. The lowest price is $500 and that is for a pair of stretch-knit shorts and the most expensive Shearling-lined suede coat for $11,210 so the price range is $500-$11,210. I would say the promotion is good as different websites sell Azzedine Alaias clothing and accessories and with vogue being involved aswell that is a very big up.

                    Azzedine Alaia Fall 2011 collections

                       The model Alaia Kostromichova

As soon as I saw this collection I fell in love, the colour scheme goes so good with the season fall. As the weather begins to get colder you can be more stylish then ever in Azzedine Alaia fall collection. I honestly think they are gorgeous. The look  of the material on the photographs above and below looks luxurious.

               ‘Showing his creations in his own time.’

This garment is very trendy looking with the pattern, the collar gives it that smart sophisticated look. I would say that this dress would appeal in young female business women since it gives of that vibe. It would be very easy to dress down and dress up.

                          MY FAVOURITE ADVERTISEMENT

This azzedine Alaia advert really caught my eye as its nothing like an advert ive seen before. The vibe it gives me is quite alien, it seems like once you buy it and wear you will feel out of this world. The splash of different colours gives the advert that dark, mysterious look.

Another Advert that I really like as it is unique and different. The style and colours work really well. One of the bags that are shown is black and it really stands out since the background etc is brightly coloured.

Watch below

PETRie. (2015). Azzedine Alaïa - AW'15 Special Film . Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QylnTUzMXOY. Last accessed 13th Nov 2017.

Azzedine Alaias clothing are worn by celebrities and are in certain films you have probably watched but haven't realised. Rihanna is seen on the red carpet wearing a gorgeous sheer red dress, created by Alaia.

In the video below you can see how stunning the dress was Rihanna wore and it looked amazing her.

BlackTree TV. (2013). Rihanna rocks see through dress on the Grammy's red carpet. Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlQkra8oz0Q. Last accessed 13th Nov 2017

Remember this scene out of Clueless. Who cant forget it honestly, this scene is where Cher says her famous fashion quote "Oh, no. You don't understand this is an Alaia"

This is Azzedine Alaias Instagram, He may not have more followers then Kim Kardashin but he is still a respected fashion designer, who has many celebrities wanting him to make them a garment. I love how his photographs are set out, it looks very professional and clean.

If you scroll through his feed you will see photoshoots, catwalks and even people that have worn his clothes.

 Harvard reference.

Kilcooley-O'Halloran, S. (2012). Azzedine Alaia. Available: http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/azzedine-alaia-biography.

 Last accessed 6th Nov 2017.

 90s Fashion. (2014). Azzedine Alaia. Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXccvjhJpDQ.

 Last accessed 6th Nov 2017

 Fashionisima. (2013). You dont understand this is an Alaia!. Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znsg-ysSAX8.

 Last accessed 6th Nov 2017.

[hendrixgossip]

Article; One.

Lately, here at Hendrix. We’ve been hearing a lot of rumors but we don’t jump on it until it’s proven. Just so happens. We found out the truth with two of our students.

This article was written by the Kim Kardashin, and edited by Tiffany “New York” Pollard. 

{Disclaimer: This recap will be biased, only because they don’t pay us enough not to be.}

Apollo ( @apollonocreed )is cute, a sweetheart and always his preppy self. Guess what? He’s single now fellas. At least he should be. Watch out, girls. Showtime is back on the market. The ICONIC snatch with Blaze didn’t last long. Let me explain why.

We all know Zaliyah ( @dearzaliyah )?

 I’m sure some of you do. She’s a pretty, preppy and let’s say VERY friendly girl. We all heard about Blaze taking her out for her birthday. Hm. It’s funny that he would do that when she explained to us that they just had a one night fling. That she REGRETS! But, sis didn’t regret it that much if you ask us. 

 Blaze ( @majorblazee ) ate the pussy. He sucked the soul out of her. He chewed on the pussy. Was he single? Nope. Did he cheat? Yes. Are we shocked? Yes. Blaze knew better. But did he do better? Nope.

 He cheated on the dear Apollo with cake face. He did Apollo wrong for some pussy. He cheated when he could’ve controlled himself but he didn’t. How are you going to cheat on a nigga that gave himself to you? You were his first but you still want pussy. You had a whole man and now you leaving him for pussy. You should've stayed with the pussy. What a fake. Be yourself. It’s crazy how shit happens. Blaze has Apollo out here looking like a straight dummy because of his actions. Blaze, you deserve to get your braid rip out. We don’t condone cheating and to cheat with someone who claimed to be your man’s friend is even worse. You’re giving your mouth away to someone who sit and smiled in your mans face. That’s snake, Blaze. You really don’t deserve Apollo. If anything you should be thankful he gave your ass a chance. You’re going to cheat on him and think nobody would find out? I mean of course we all assumed in the beginning that something might happen. But then you two covered it up with just friends but y'all clearly want to be more then friends. If Apollo’s booty hole wasn’t good enough for you, you should’ve said it instead of being a dog. A dirty ass dog. 

Zaliyah, how Apollo’s nut taste? I’m sure you don’t wanna answer that question sis. It’s funny when we talked you said that you don’t want Blaze and Apollo to break up but you still fucked with a man in a relationship. Old feelings or not, sis. You are in the wrong as much as him. You wouldn’t want anyone to cheat on you so why promote cheating with Apollo? That’s fucked up. You’re fucked up. This not the only thing we’ve heard about you sis. I guess you aren’t too preppy to turn down some dick. That’s not cute at all, sis. I hope you do better in the future. 

Good luck to Zaliyah and Blaze! Blaze I hope you have enough money to buy your girl a bottle of foundation everyday because that’s how much she use to cake that face on.

 Mhm. Anyways, let this be a lesson learned. Don’t go around promoting your friends when in reality you aren’t. Do go around cheating because what’s done in the dark will come to the light. Take responsibility for your actions. Don’t sit and wanna be a victim because nobody will feel sorry.

[buffalowingsfortwo]

9/1/19 1:19 am

technically it’s the second of september now, but i just got home, so we’ll pretend.

i didn’t expect much to happen today, and i guess not that much did. i was meant to just babysit while my parets went to go see ringo starr at the greek and that’s what happened. except around 5 maybe, i found out ari was in town. i asked her if she’d want to come over while my parents were gone. she said yes. i asked my mom if she could. she said yes. for the record, i did think of you, but it was already 5 maybe, and i wouldn’t have been able to get you home until anywhere between 12 and 2 am. i didn’t think your parents would like that. im still sorry.

so i picked up ari with toby and emily and took everyone home. right when we got back, emily told me her fish was laying on it’s side. i told her it was dead. she said “that’s okay.” i played ‘my heart will go on’ by celine dion and flushed it while toby played nothing on his guitar and emily colored in the other room and ari laughed. me and ari got snacks. we went upstairs. we watched keeping up with the kardashins. we talked about what might happen when i move out. it was nice.

my parents came home. i left to take ari home. we talked more, this time about laundry detergent and how weird kids are. i dropped her off. we hugged. i realized i had norman fucking rockwell playing on shuffle and that if i didn’t change it, i’d have a very sad 20 minute drive home. i didn’t change it.

avenue k is one of the roads that holds the most for me. everything feels like something, and most of it feels bad. so i pulled out on challenger way, stopped at the intersection on k, and looked to my left. the building where i used to visit my two best friends at work. and the alley behind it, where i saw the most emotionless man i know sob and choke on his own tears. the light turned green, i turned left.

on 5th street east and avenue k, i met a parking lot where i once picked up a friend going for a walk in the rain. he got in my car, pulled out a bottle of rum, and told me i was unlike every other girl, especially his girlfriend, in the best ways. it had been so long since a man had thought anything of me. i smiled and laughed and turned the music up. he didn’t like me better than all the other girls. he liked that i tolerated him like none of the other girls. i went past the parking lot, and continued straight.

at sierra highway and avenue k, i drove not on the same street, but past the street where i really met someone for the first time, and realized, for the first time, the full feeling of when something was destined to be. i thought about 6 months after that moment, when i drove past that place for the first time since that day, and cried to our favorite song. the light turned green, i crossed the train tracks, and i continued straight.

on 10th street west and avenue k, i thought about the day we found out you weren’t pregnant. i thought about the day a good friend told me their biggest secret in a parked car while it rained and we cried. i thought about when i went to starbucks with two good friends, both of whom hate me now. the light turned green, and i continued straight.

around 20th street west and avenue k, or something like that, i don’t know, i went past the ihop where a friend/date stood me up because he got too high and fell asleep. the waitress realized what happened and gave us a discount. the light turned green, and i continued straight.

on 30th street west and avenue k, i drove past the same school i’ve been attending for almost 5 years. too much has happened there to ever acknowledge. it can only be felt. the light turned green, and i continued straight.

at 45th street west and avenue k, i thought about when i turned out there to take both of us to lancaster boulevard. we didn’t have a great day. mostly we got scared. the light turned green, and i continued straight.

at 50th street west and avenue k, i felt the weight of my youth suffocate me. it was a four way stop, and i was alone. i continued straight.

at 57th street west and avenue k, i thought about the day i realized the butterflies were migrating through los angeles. they swarmed around my car, and i sang my favorite song, and i cried as hard as i ever had. i continued straight.

at 60th street west and avenue k, i thought about one day, after seminary, where i told shawn to turn left. he said “no, we’re going straight.” i said “fucking turn left, it’s not that deep.” he said “why? so you can stare at the school your friends go to, and try to find them? they don’t even fucking like you.” i said “at least i have friends, can you even name one you’ve had in the past 2 years?” both of our voices cracked with how close we were to tears. he turned on his blinker. the light turned green, and we both turned left.

this city feels like home. but maybe not because it feels safe, just because it feels familiar.

not much happened today. but i felt too much today. im sorry for leaving it with you. but had you been in the car, you would’ve heard the same stories. i never know if you like my stories, but i know you tolerate them better than anyone else.

with these stories, and with so many others, im forced to accept that maybe the cliché is true. home is where the heart is. at the very least, home is where the heartbreak is. maybe some day i’ll learn to just take a different route.

“those nights were on fire, we couldn’t get higher. we didn’t know that we had it all, but nobody warns you before the fall.”

- the greatest by lana del rey