#i try not to self promo on this account cause that's not what this account is for
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Hey everyone!! I wanted to state off the bat that this is more of a personal post!
So me and a few friends have been playing and doing lore on a minecraft SMP! "Salem SMP"
Its been super fun and season 2 is in a month or so! I wanted to share the link if anyone was interested!
Here's a link to the sign up page! if you're interested!
#tt#not etho#not ethoslab#i try not to self promo on this account cause that's not what this account is for#but this is for a friend and I feel like this isn't too bad ahh#sorry
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some unorganized thoughts about Vox and Valentino Hazbin Hotel
Spoilers For Hazbin Hotel episode 2
TW: Discussions and depictions of abusive relationships, sexual assault, extortion and financial abuse
So going by the promo material shown to us, a lot of fans seem to think that Vivzie has changed course on VoxVal and that it's going to be a much more healthy relationship than previously implied.
Not gonna lie, that disappoints me.
Because depicting an abusive romantic relationship with an imperfect and unexpected victim would have been extremely interesting. We already know Valentino is a piece of shit who doesn't care about anything but himself and profit.
The "Addict" music video and the prequel comic "Dirty Healings" make that very clear.
Valentino regularly assaults Angel, keeps Angel's earnings for himself and tries to keep Angel in the studio as long as possible, even getting angry when Angel goes out by himself. Even if it's to get money for Val.
And for all of his faults, it's very easy for the viewer to feel sympathy for Angel. Angel is a likable character who's been shown to have a much kinder side to him via his friendship with Cherry and him trying to comfort Charlie in the pilot after her pitch for the Happy Hotel flops.
Vox though?
Vox is slated to be a main antagonist. He's a fellow Overlord of Hell. Someone for whom it'd be much harder to believe that he'd let anyone treat him like Valentino treats Angel.
And yet...
To be fair, this artwork is from the in-character Instagram accounts, which were already confirmed as non-canonical. (The accounts themselves are sadly archived now due to some really messed up stuff that happened with the Octavia and Stolas accounts.)
Still, depicting Vox as one of Valentino's victims would have been pretty intriguing. It shows that this kind of thing can happen to anyone, no matter the gender or financial or social situation. It would also acknowledge that just because someone is a victim of abuse doesn't mean they're pure, innocent or weak. And that no matter the circumstances, no one deserves to be treated like Valentino treats Vox and Angel.
I'm honestly hoping that this aspect of the VoxVal relationship isn't entirely gone and I kinda think it isn't.
In episode 2 we see right off the bat that Vox doesn't really like Valentino. And it's easy to see why.
Valentino is a spoiled angry manchild with no self control. He needs Velvette and Vox to reign him in, otherwise he's going to do stupid shit like waltz up to the princess of Hell's doorstep with a gun in hand. Because he can't handle the idea that one of his employees is living somewhere he didn't approve.
If Vox hadn't stopped him and talked him out of it, Val would have gotten the VVVs into some serious shit. His violent streaks can also not be talked down completely, they need to be satisfied somehow. Vox needs to offer Val the lowest earners to shoot at and work out his aggression on or Val's going to continue to go on a rampage and most likely tear apart more of Velvette's models.
Speaking frankly, Valentino seems way more trouble than he's worth. Vox and Velvette appear to be doing all the work in their shared empire while Val just throws tantrums and forces them to go out of their way to calm him down.
So if that's the case, why do the other Vs puts up with Val?
In Alastor's and Vox' duet in episode 2, Alastor has this very interesting thing to say about Vox and his relationship to Valentino and Velvette:
"Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vs."
What's also interesting is Val's and Velvette's reaction to it.
They're smiling. Like they agree.
Alastor also reveals that Vox was trying to get Alastor to join the Vs. Alastor declined.
Vox of course tries to deny all of that, but in the process gets so worked up he short-circuits himself and causes a city-wide blackout.
If Alastor is telling the truth here (and we don't really have a reason to believe he isn't), that puts everything in a whole new light.
Vox is he brains of the operation but is he also the only thing that's keeping it together? Val and Velvette don't really get along (Velvette insults Val behind his back, Val rips apart her models when he's angry) and both don't seem to respect Vox that much. Velvette lets him deal with Val's bad moods, Val doesn't hesitate to throw stuff at Vox when he's pissed (the fact that Vox nonchalantly dodges the glass Valentino throws at him implies this is not the first time). They both have a look of disdain on their faces when Vox hugs them during "Status Quo".
So why does Vox go to all this trouble to keep these two assholes in line if he doesn't really care for them and they in turn have no love for him?
Maybe for business reasons, but Vox already has a giant multi-media empire, right? So again, what does he need the other Vs for?
I think it has to do with Vox's need to be admired and liked and at the top.
See, another thing this episode tells us about Vox is that he's deeply, deeply, insecure.
He has a dozen different programs where he changes his outfits, approach and demeanor to cater to every single sinner possible, he throws out new business ideas on the fly so he'll always be the newest trend everyone follows. If something (or someone) comes up that cracks his cool confident businessman facade even a little he can't handle it and literally breaks down.
Really, Alastor puts it best:
"Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure? Between this fad and that, is nothing working? Every day he's got a new format."
So Vox doesn't just want to be powerful and popular, he wants to be the most powerful and the most popular and his shows alone aren't going to cut it for that.
That's why he needs Velvette and Valentino. They provide the content that draws the viewers Vox so desperately craves. Without them he'd be all on his own, might lose large chunks of his viewership. And that's something I think Vox is deeply afraid of.
So no matter how little he might actually like them, regardless how shitty Valentino treats him, Vox needs these two. In his view at least, he can't afford to lose them.
#hazbin hotel#voxval#staticmoth#hazbin vox#hazbin valentino#tw rape mention#tw abuse#tw rape#hazbin hotel theory
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why did you tag your post with gaz erasure my ass? like what was hard to believe that the cod fandom has blatant patterns of purposefully removing the only black character and replacing him with everyone under the sun? your friend lied about killing themself to make them look like a victim. and you participated in harassing people who saw this for what it was. you need to step back and reflect on your own self on why you thought that your friend’s “death” was caused by people calling out patterns of anti black racism and then go on to harass them. you are not an ally by any means.
Back when I used that tag, I paired it with another tag right after, it was meant to be an aggressive call out on misinformation, I had meant for it to read as 'Gaz erasure my ass, y'all just can't read'.
(This because the original post didn't read like intentional erasure but rather like codslut thought Gaz didn't fit the post, since she also didn't use Reboot Soap, she used *Captain* Soap, idk how best to explain it but to me the two soaps are different characters so i figured it was an intentional choice to use him and keegan rather than reboot soap and gaz)
Edit: I want to add that I also used codslut's own explanation as the basis for why I didn't think it was erasure. And at this point, she's clearly not to be fucking trusted, so it wouldn't surprise me if it really *was* erasure/racism and I believed her word that it wasn't.
As time went on, I dropped the last part of the tag of 'y'all just can't read', and looking back it not only reads as a racist dog whistle but also, just in general, sounds and looks fucking disgusting.
I've said this before, but I think it warrants saying again: I *didn't* mean to say Gaz erasure doesn't exist. It does very much exist in the community and even Activision themselves often erase Gaz from promo materials.
I'd hate for people to think that I either dislike Gaz or don't see the blatant racism/dislike/erasure that happens with him on the community. That's not the case. Gaz is a main character (unlike König like so many people try to replace him with) who I absolutely adore, and I call out erasure when I see it here on Tumblr, on Tiktok and on Twitter.
I never meant to make it seem like Gaz erasure doesn't exist. I only wanted to call out misinformation... and ended up doing the exact opposite of both my intentions. I'm sorry about that. It was not just disgusting but full on stupid of me.
I also want to say that I didn't think that that screenshot post specifically or even the act of people calling out racism where they saw it was the cause for codslut possibly killing herself. That is not what I meant at all. And I don't want anyone to think I blame @soapskneebrace or @glossysoap or anyone else for that. Blood was never on their hands, I want to make that very clear!!!!
When I was confronting people, I was doing so on the basis that they're big creators with big platforms and that by accusing codslut of racism/erasure they opened the door for anons to justify their actions when going after codslut because they have so much reach and people with bad intentions need less than that to justify the hate they send people.
Looking back, I know I was in the wrong for how I spoke. I was aggressive and rude and mean, and none of the people involved deserve that. Hell, my actions were hypocritical as hell and I probably opened the door for them to get hate themselves. I'm really fucking sorry.
If I could take it back, I would. I never believed nor wanted them to believe that someone potentially harming themselves was their fault. It wasn't.
I do plan on taking a step back to reconsider not just the way I acted but everything that's happened. In fact, I was already taking said break and came online only because I got word of @/fulltacs' post.
I appreciate and thank you for holding me accountable (and by that I mean you and everyone!). And I especially thank *you* anon for wording this ask this way, and giving me, at least, a chance to explain.
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I think anon got a little confused re: J2’s social media. They don’t have someone else running their accounts, they just now have social media contractual obligations. So they have to do X amount of promo posts and are most likely barred from posting anything super inappropriate or following inappropriate/adult content accounts. You can tell by looking at their instagrams.
Jared’s instagram has changed the least because he’s always more or less followed the same format. Log on every once and a while to promote work or charity, and his family posts typically line up with birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and vacations. When he logs on to post he usually reposts content from Gen or Towwn, something social justice related, and something funny on his stories. His Twitter hasn’t been personal in a long time and is used for live tweeting, interacting with fans and occasional updates.
Jensen’s instagram has undergone the most noticeable change. This ended up being super long, so I’ll separate it by year so that it’s easier to follow along. I also won’t include stories/livestreams to simplify things.
From 2015 when he first joined to the first half of 2016 it was very impersonal. Mostly behind the scenes SPN and con content, a couple pictures of JJ, a couple of pictures of Danneel with no sickeningly sweet, over dramatic captions. Then in the summer of 2016 things start to change. Still mostly SPN related, but he starts to post Danneel a little more and announces that they’re expecting twins.
2017 is when he starts promoting himself as a family man and starts pushing Danneel/inserting her in his branding. This is when those over the top captions start appearing in association with Danneel related content. He posts his private life and promotes SPN in equal measure, and slowly the shameless self promotion begins (which he jokingly admits to in a post on July 12, 2017 on a post of J2’s TV Guide cover). This is also when he kind of jumps on Danneel’s slacktivist band wagon and starts promoting charitable causes, all in association with FBBC (which hasn’t opened yet) or his family of course.
In 2018 FBBC opens, and the focus is all on the brewery, his family/Danneel, and himself. The little SPN promo he does is all centered around Dean (it used to be brother focused), and con content turns into photos of him performing (setting the stage for Radio Co). Continues to take a page out of Danneel’s book/special brand of slacktivism where he makes everything about himself or his family. This is also when he starts with the costumes and setting himself up for the superhero roles he wants post-SPN.
In 2019 the Danneel content really ramps ups, plus she starts really getting in on it and commenting on everything like they’re teenagers and he’s her first boyfriend. It’s incredibly cringey. He also continues to promote himself and try and set himself apart from Jared/Sam. If I didn’t know SPN, I would assume he was the lead. Radio Co. is announced. In May 2019, they announce that s15 will be the final season. What’s interesting is his caption– “Though nothing ever really ends in Supernatural…does it? 😉” so some evidence that he’s been planning the prequel/SPN takeover since 2019.
2020 is interesting, because the pandemic clearly put a dent in his networking/self promotion. The start of the year is promotion for both of the Ackles. Very much “look at us! We’re apart of Hollywood but we’re cool and different from those other guys!” When the lockdown happens, he leans even more into the family man and dedicated husband image. A little bit of SPN promo, but not much. Gets really into activism (specifically BLM and voting), just like every other celebrity at the time despite never having cared about it before. He announces his role as Soldier Boy on August 17. Chaos Machine Productions is announced on October 8, he uses a picture of him and Danneel at the GG afterparty (a picture he’s overused, don’t you have other pictures with your wife?). In late 2020, the family and wife content starts to slow down.
In 2021, Jensen starts off the year pretty strong and posts regularly. He posts for the Walker premiere, he posts Danneel a few times, he congratulates himself for his critics choice award, a makes few slacktivism posts, promotes Radio Co. and FBBC, and goes back to promoting himself. Spring of 2021 is when he starts to get really selective about social media, the Jensen we associate with SM today. It’s all work and self-promo. No more Danneel content (though she continues to comment on almost every post), the only family content in the latter half of 2021 are his birthday posts for the kids and the Christmas photo dump. He posts his announces prequel announcement on June 24, does not tag Danneel is the picture or caption.
In 2022, Jensen hires a publicist. This is important to note because this ties directly into how he now uses instagram. Out of the 37 posts in 2022, 15 are promo for The Boys, 3 are promo for Big Sky, 4 are promo for The Winchesters, 1 is promo for Radio Co. Volume III, 1 is promo for the episode of Walker he directed, 11 are self-promo*, 1 post to celebrate the twins birthday, and 1 post to celebrate Danneel’s birthday. No promo for FBBC, no more activism/political posts. So 24/37 were work related because he has to meet a certain promo quota. That’s also why he’s live tweeted for TW and did that awful instagram live, he’s contractually obligated to promote TW. And while a lot of people have speculated that he has someone else running his Twitter, he doesn’t. All of the tweets have his voice (if that makes sense) he just made those mistakes with TW because he doesn’t care about the show and would ignore it completely if he could. He doesn’t have the money to justify the expense of having a social media team, and while he could have an assistant post for him, I don’t think Jensen has an assistant. They’re another expense he’s not busy enough to justify, he’s never told any stories that suggests he has one, and based on his stories seems to handle most assistant things by himself (flights, scheduling, making phone calls, etc).
*Self Promo Posts: Outside of You podcast with MR, HBD post for Dean, Mardi Gras photo dump/HBD to him (no Danneel in pictures despite the fact that they were together), SXSW w/ Batmobile, Man About Town editorial got two posts, CW upfronts (no mention of TW, the cast, or Danneel. Photos are of him in the car leaving for TB promo), Zombies 3 carpet with JJ, Men’s Health diet interview, him outside the Pie shipping container labeled Pie (he tagged BS and TW in this pic), and the Adam Rose sweater thirst trap video.
Yet since he never developed his actor's logline, none of his content is in line with his branding and his branding is unclear so casting will have no idea what Jensen is going for.
I think the anon got confused as well, possibly english is their second language.
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An interesting but probably inaccurate reading of seven is that the "you" she is referring to is her past self because taylor has spoken many times about "not be able to recognize yourself" in many songs- esp break up songs where she is moving on and growing from the experience.
She started music lessons at age 8, so the last time she was truly free would be age 7 if we are talking about freedom from her desire to be famous-and all that entails. I think you can read the lyrics as this kind of mourning for the last time you felt you could truly be yourself and that's kind of really sad honestly.
At some point in time, taylor wanted to go back to when she was seven and just make a different choice maybe. One that would lead her down a different path where she could be "free" to not "hide in the closet." Probably 2016 after the canceling, and that's probably why she wrote this is my trying and that's why it comes after August.
It's her way of making sense of her fame related trauma and all that entails, I think. Like I've already talked about mirrorball into seven into August and how that is a sad run about her feelings on why she lost karlie but you can actually continuing piecing the narrative together since
This is me trying -> I think this song is about learning how to be okay with being queer, being famous, accepting what being famous actually is and learning to be okay with that
Illicit Affairs -> learning to be okay with your worst decisions and learning how to see a dead relationship for what it is, letting all of that go in order to move onto bigger and better things
Invisible String -> looking back at her journey into fame and realizing that the one good thing to come out of all of that was ending up at the met gala in 2016 to meet Joe, the love of her life for real this time.
Mad Woman -> this is about her anger at the masters situation. But also it can be specifically about how angry she is that her ex girlfriend betrayed her and sold her out to her worst enemy. This is lover era grief.
Epiphany -> this is about covid forcing her into lockdown and forcing her to not think about music or her career and just making music for the fun of it helped "get the poison out" of her. But I also think this is about her realizing how her actions during kissgate etc lead to the demise of their relationship. I think covid really helped taylor process trauma but also learn how to take accountability for her past mistakes without being afraid of being labeled as "bad" for it.
Betty -> the reason I say this is because Betty is about James (taylor James) apologizing to karlie "Betty" kloss for doing "the worst thing" she ever did to her. I think this is a reference to her forcing karlie in the closet and that is why karlie sold her out/told taylor not to mention her in her coming out promo (therefore forcing her in the closet so that she knows how it feels.... vindictive speculation on my end but ouch if it doesn't make for a good story). This is Taylor learning how to accept her own role to play in her closet in and learning how to shift the blame to the proper things (her label, her decisions, homophobia in the industry) instead of pointing the finger outward all the time.
Peace -> this feels like a declaration of acceptance of things she cannot change. She feels like her fame causes her relationships to die, but here is asking if it alright if you never have peace because of me? We know the answer is yes, so this is like a song I think she wrote to remind herself that her fears about fame getting in the way of her current relationship are in her head. They're not reality, and that internal turmoil is like the perfect representation of how mental illness can affect a relationship.
Hoax -> this is the hardest song for me to interpret because it is shrouded in metaphors and I am autistic 🤪 but I think this was given to us out of order on purpose as an easter egg for like "I have more to say about this actually." Because I think hoax into evermore is an interesting bridge piece. We know she is in a good place currently but hoax is about returning us back to turmoil and leaving us there for 5 months before giving us an even clearer look into the kaylor relationship.
The lakes -> I think that's why she talks about this being the real ending to folklore because this song is a really poetic representation of learning to leave things behind that don't matter. It gives me "the secret to holding on was all that letting go" vibes and I think it's on purpose. Like, she left us on hoax but that's not where she is mentally so she gave us the lakes to close out folklore fully.
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From what I've seen apparently matty did the nazi salute once, and made racist and islamophobic comments, like ik it's none of our business who taylor dates but even so I feel like taylor should be a bit more aware of the company she keeps
hi! no i totally get what you mean! it's good to hold people accountable for their actions and i understand that taylor's association with him is stirring things up for people, especially cause her image is so comparatively clean and tame. matty has definitely done some questionable if not outright fucked up things and i'm not saying he hasn't. and i don't want to defend him and say he's an angel and uwu baby girl because he's not, but let me try and explain my insight as best i can.
i've been a fan of the 1975 for six or seven years now, and their image is not about being clean. i remember being 15 and listening to their songs about drugs and sex and suicide and going oop this is a bit problematic. but their image is also not mindless -- especially in recent years (most explicitly in their last three albums) the 1975 has been about social commentary. sometimes this is sad "I'm sorry if you're living and you're 17" and sometimes it's a more goofy-toned "QAnon created a legitimate scene but it was just some bloke in the Philippines" (both from the 1975 (2022)). in either case, their lyrics are full of irony and provocative lines for the sake of commentary. love it if we made it starts as follows:
Fucking in a car Shooting heroin Saying controversial things Just for the hell of it Selling melanin and then Suffocate the black man Start with misdemeanours And we'll make a business out of them
and it's not a song in favor of any of that. instead, it's pointing out the weird polarized state of things and knowing that that first line will get you to listen. that's what it's all about i think, a plea for attention. matty keeps opening his mouth on stage and going "not to be racist but-" *band starts playing* because he's doing some fucked up ironic bit and he knows that a video of that will go viral. it's promo yes, but it's also the continued curation of this ironic polarized image. his songwriting reveals that he doesn't mean any of that, he's just doing a shoddy job of making that clear to people who aren't in on the 1975 cult.
matty is all about saying controversial things just for the hell of it, but i don't think he means most of what he says -- of course this doesn't mean it's okay to say things if it hurts people. i just think he's very self-aware. matty knows he's a mess. he's a recovering drug addict who has been writing songs with his mates since he was 14 years old and isn't cut out for being famous in an age of cancel culture.
I'm sorry about my 20's I was learning the ropes I had a tendency of thinking about it after I spoke "We're experiencing life through the postmodern lens" Oh call it like it is!
or
And I took shit for being quiet during the election Maybe that's fair, but I'm a busy guy I get stoned nowhere and get paid there It's not really how babies get made So, I take a minute when I think I won't die from stopping Oh, I'm just a busy guy
i don't know, i don't really want to keep just throwing lyrics at you. i just think that his songwriting is so self-referential and reveals so much about his image and relationship to fame.
he's not good at sincerity and he's certainly not sweet. his bits aren't funny to everyone. he keeps hurting people with his careless use of words, especially on stage. if i wasn't a fan of his band and knew all of their music by heart, i wouldn't be happy to see him with taylor either. so, i get it.
he did recently acknowledge the controversy at one of his shows and sort of apologized in a very matty way. it made me happy to see, but again, i get if it's not enough for those that have been targeted by his bits. i'm a white woman, and i can not accept his apology for anyone else.
i'm not trying to make excuses for him or tell anyone else how to feel about him or his connection to taylor. this is just my take on it, and if it makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to block me !!
#i really hope this conveys what i want it to#and that i got the tone right#i really dont want to say its not valid to be hurt by his bits#because it is!!#and i dont want to claim he's an amazing person#but does this makes sense??#idk#truly feel free to block me if you want#or some argue with me in my dms#that being said i will block anyone who starts being really disrespectful to me#ahh anyway#i spent like half an hour working on this when i am in the library to work on my thesis oops#matty healy#taylor swift#tortle answers
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#I'm new to WWE#Have mercy on me#What would say his character is? I have limited knowledge
(disclaimer: i have not watched wwe regularly since 2019. i have a general idea of what seth's character arc has been but i cannot speak to the minutiae of his story since then.)
i'm always happy to educate and share knowledge. if you're really interested in him as a character and his story, you'd probably be best off watching everything he did (if you don't have a wwe network account or don't feel comfortable giving them money, this website can help you out), but especially from his heel turn in june 2014 to him winning the universal title at wrestlemania in 2019.
the thing is, seth was a selfish asshole. no one's disputing that. and according to seth himself, that was the first time he had a proper, defined 'character' in wrestling who was heavily featured on the shows and would cut long promos etc., so i think this era was really important in shaping his overall character. and it was the golden boy of the authority who betrayed his brothers for gold and glory. who fought with dean for months and months and did terrible things to him, stole the mitb briefcase from him, put his skull through cinder blocks, all while dean came after him relentlessly because he wouldn't ever let seth forget what he did to them. the 'we were just business partners' line is significant because i think that's how seth saw himself in the years following this. the calculating, machiavellian architect who did not have personal relationships, who put all emotions aside, who used people for his own purposes, who didn't care about anyone or anything but climbing the ladder to the top of the company. but he never could quite live up to it because there were always hints that he might have regrets, that he missed dean and roman, that he was lonely and miserable at the top of the mountain. every time he told dean 'it wasn't about you' it started to feel like he was trying to convince himself. nevertheless, he did it. even while alienating and betraying the people around him and self-sabotaging all meaningful relationships, which is a recurring theme in the seth rollins story, he did what he set out to do. he won the title, and was the first former shield member to do so.
fast forward 8 months and before the big title match he was supposed to have with roman, he injures his knee at a house show and is out for six months. i mean, besides how much this sucked for seth irl, that seems like karmic justice for his character, right? well, seth doesn't realise this yet. but he will.
he returns in may 2016 and immediately goes after roman who is the wwe champion after beating triple h at wrestlemania. the match is set for money in the bank. seth wins.
and then what happens? dean cashes in his mitb briefcase that he'd won earlier in the night. the title, that was seth's life, that was the only thing he cared about, snatched out of his hands five minutes after reclaiming it. more karmic justice from the universe. and seth's still oblivious.
seth loses to dean two times more and then loses to finn at summerslam for the brand new universal title (which finn immediately has to vacate due to injury) and then two weeks after, during the match for the vacated title, when triple h returns and he expects him to hand him the title on a silver platter -- he does the opposite.
and ah. now he gets it. well, sort of.
triple h avoids him for a few months and when seth finally confronts him, this leads to the most important part of the story. triple h has samoa joe attack seth and this causes a legit knee injury. yeah, the same knee. there's a possibility he might miss wrestlemania. and we get this promo. the week before wrestlemania, we get this promo from him to triple h.
he beats triple h at wrestlemania on one leg. after that, he reiterates that he's trying to be a better person now, to not take the easy way out, to actually earn the success he wants, and that it's because of the audience accepting and forgiving him that he could accept and forgive himself for his past.
but the audience's acceptance and forgiveness isn't all he needs.
i've talked about this a million times obviously but you can watch his and dean's reunion arc here. so seth apologises to dean, basically asks him to punish him if words aren't enough for him, teams up with him, saves him from beatdowns at a cost to himself etc. dean doesn't trust him and stubbornly refuses a shield reunion for a long time, although it's clear from his actions that he actually does want seth back too.
cue the reunion and the hugs and the title celebrations and the honeymoon period etc. and then cue the shield reunion and the hugs and fistbumps and brotherly love and backstage bickering and everything you could want etc.
even when he wasn't teaming with dean and roman in the early part of 2018, he was proving himself to be the man who would make them proud and make the fans proud. the workhouse, the fighting champion, the guy who didn't take the easy road, the guy who fought for and earned what he wanted, who would never quit. he became the underdog hero we all knew he could be.
what matters is: seth with dean and seth with dean and roman was a totally different person then. the opposite of selfish. yeah he still cared about titles and winning, like everyone does in wrestling, but there was no doubt that he loved dean and roman more than anything else.
and that continued until dean left in april 2019 and even in the months after with him and roman.
the messiah and visionary characters are more muddled to me. the best i can explain it is that he was pretty unmoored after the shield disbanded for the last time and he lost his title and the audience and the locker room rejected him and this was his way to try to control everything and everyone around him by proclaiming himself the 'leader' and 'saviour' of mnr. he'd kind of lost everything that mattered to him so what else was an insecure control freak with abandonment issues supposed to do? i don't know how much consistency there was in his actions and how much coherent character development happened through those years. maybe someone else who watched all of it can help you out. but seth as champ now and a babyface again thankfully -- he's talked about how he's finally being himself and the audience is accepting him and because of that he can be content with who he is and his life and his past (although he obviously still harbours some guilt and regrets which is only natural and understandable). which is what i always wanted the conclusion of his arc to be but unfortunately there wasn't as much actual onscreen development to lead him to this place as i would've wanted. he's also talked about setting aside selfishness and his own pride in service of doing the right thing, i.e. helping cody take down the bloodline instead of just focusing on his own title. so i think you can see why seth reverting to the guy he was a decade ago, to help someone who's constantly belittling him and has said he hates him and will never forgave him (after teaming up with seth for years and acting like it was all fine between them btw), would be pretty illogical storytelling and a baffling character decision.
in summary: what is seth like? complicated and conflicted and pulled in two opposite directions a lot of the time. i think his first instinct is still to put his own goals above everything, because he's just always been that extremely driven, ambitious person which isn't inherently bad, but he's made the choice when it matters to put the people and things that are more important first instead. he's probably still dealing with that insecurity that's always plagued him (because he's spent so much time and effort just wanting to be the best, to achieve everything there is to achieve, to go down in history, and he's still afraid of falling short of his own ridiculously high expectations) but i think now he's happier and more self-actualised than he was just a few years ago. seth's biggest character flaw to overcome for a long time was that he never knew who he really was or what he truly wanted and he tended to just twist himself into knots trying to become what other people around him needed and wanted from him instead of figuring out what really makes him happy without external validation. and what people don't appreciate enough is that seth is actually very emotional and sensitive and is driven by his emotions, which is the opposite of what his facade has come to be. he is very much all heart and you see that really shine through in his best storylines and character moments.
"seth's a selfish asshole! that's why we love him!" nah you're just a dumbass with a poor memory who doesn't know shit about seth and should shut the fuck up about him.
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Hey Joy! A friend of mine is publishing her first novel, and she's said the re-writing/editing is going fine but the self-advertising has been somewhat difficult. Her publisher is having her make social media posts every day to gain interest but she's only got about half of the audience she's supposed to collect so far (70 people total atm). Do you have any advice as far as advertising goes?
Congrats to your friend, I’m glad her edits are going well. Unfortunately, it’s a truth well acknowledged that publishers will try to do as little as possible to help with marketing unless you make big money for them.
Some of my trad-published friends are expected to do the same level of promo work one would expect from indie publishing, with ridiculous milestones that are hard to achieve if you don’t know how to effectively self-promo or garner a readership. I had a friend get told recently to “just go viral” like yeah, sure okay. It’s almost like something their marketing team should be doing, but whatever.
Anyway, first of all, what’s her online presence like? Does she have an author website? A newsletter? Active social media accounts that use her author name/brand? If not, she needs to get on those asap and give people a good landing point to find her work and also promote herself. Also worth looking at is how she’s engaging with her social media. I’m going to assume it’s Twitter, cause that seems to be the big one these days, but she’ll want to keep her feed active, and not just posting her own stuff constantly. You need to promote and boost others: it’s a vital way of building community online. And while some publishers take a very dog-eat-dog-world view of social media and numbers, it’s absolutely not the way to succeed. You’re not competing with other authors, you’re working alongside them, and our chances of mutual success are increased when we lift each other up, rather than trying to trample downward.
Another good way is to start interacting with other authors. Facebook groups can be good (I don’t use them, Facebook just triggers my flight or fight reflexes these days, but I know lots of friends who find a lot of support on Facebook) as can Twitter. Some authors will do follow-for-follow because they’re also being put under this “must amass X amount of followers” pressure by their publishers.
These groups can also be a good way to find out if anyone is doing newsletter swaps, where other authors promo your work, in exchange for you promoting their work to yours. You’ve maybe seen me doing a giveaway a few times with some of my trad-published friends: this was a promo swap. (Or it was supposed to be. I’ve given up holding my breath.)
Another good way could be through fanfic if she writes it. I’m terribly lax at this, but for anyone looking to build up an audience, it’s not a bad idea to leave links to your socials in the note at the end. It gives your readers another place to find you, where they might not have previously thought to look. I know not all publishers like their authors writing fanfic (which is nonsense: it means your author is coming with a pre-built audience), but if there’s nothing in her contract about not doing it *shrug* there’s more than one way to build a readership, and it can start with fic.
I hope some of that helps? I’m really not that great at doing these things myself... I’m lucky that my audience is just here for the sporadic chaos, tbh. I’m sure there are other good points I’m missing in my post-dinner-haze, so if anyone wants to chime in, that’d be grand!
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The Means Reflect On The Ends Actually, (c!Dream & the conditioning of Exile)
What was the point of exile, storywise? What does it say about c!Dream? Sure, it’s showcasing how far he’s willing to go to achieve his own ends, but I don't think all discussion about what exile tells us about c!Dream should start and end there.
Dream is not cruel for cruelty’s sake. Dream’s end goal is not to hurt as many people as possible. He views his cruelty are “necessary evils”, and he doesn’t dwell much on whether the things he does are “good” or ��bad”. He’s fully aware he’s hurting people and he ultimately thinks that hurting people, to the extent that he does, is worth it. That being said, while Dream has an ends justify the means mindset, but the truth is, the means absolutely reflect on the ends. His true intentions aren’t a mystery, it’s very clear in the text that his ultimate goal is unity, but why does he want unity? And what would said unity entail?
(Before this essay starts I have to do an ad break to promo @daggryet's very helpful [transcriptions from the exile streams], which I'll be using a lot of. Thanks for the very helpful resource.)
TW: Relatively extensive discussion abt the abuse in exile arc & the effects of said abuse.
Firstly, I don't think you should deny his relationship to control. A through-line of his character is achieving harmony through control, and more specifically, obedience. There’s a reason why he tends to single out Tommy the most. It’s not actually because Tommy is remarkably more troublesome than anyone else on the server, but rather, because his disruptive nature is at Dream’s expense. Tommy is the only character who’s consistently over and over again refused to respect Dream’s authority, and though he isn’t particularly threatening on his own, it’s the sentiment itself that’s dangerous. Similarly, this is why he has consistently targeted L’manburg, moreso than any other faction on the server such as, say, Badlands, El Rapids. It’s almost as if they represented the sentiment, “Hey, why are we listening to you anyway? Why can’t we be listening to anyone else?”, which is why he crushed them, over, and over again. What if everyone figures out they can just stop listening to him? What then?
We talk a lot about the effects exile had on Tommy, and rightfully so, but we don’t talk enough about what Dream was actually doing. What was the purpose of exile? Was it just a way to get closer to the discs? Just a means to an end? What was the end?
TOMMY: What, what could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me.
DREAM: I’m just keeping an eye on you, Tommy.
TOMMY: What does that mean?!
DREAM: I’m just, I’m making sure that you’re not up to no good.
TOMMY: But, how, you’ve exiled me, you fucking stupid, manipulative fucking green bastard!
DREAM: I know! And you know why I did that?
TOMMY: Yes?
DREAM: No, you know why?
TOMMY: Why?
DREAM: Because you don’t listen to me ever, you’re the only person who doesn’t ever listen to me. If I tell you to do something, you’re like “no, fuck you!”, and you go and like do like the exact opposite.
[full transcription]
As much as I have to preface this with that this is speculative and we may not have any irrefutable confirmation, I think it's very likely that it's literally just what Dream is saying he's doing. Tommy is the one person who refuses to listen to him, and he wants him to listen. Exile was not only conditioning Tommy to believe that nobody other than Dream cares about him, not only conditioning Tommy to be entirely reliant on him, but also conditioning Tommy to listen to him, without question, without disobeying. And that is such a significant and reoccurring motif for it to arguably just be the intended reading of exile.
Abuse is a vague term that encompasses a lot of abusive practices. There are a good handful that apply to exile, I'm sure if you ask someone qualified they'll be able to provide you a nice handy list, but ultimately, all of them target Tommy's own sense of agency and autonomy, and it all revolves around power and control. Dream creates rituals purely to disarm him, threatens him and punishes him when he doesn't listen, and rewards him when he complies (or rather, conditions Tommy into thinking that not being punished is a reward).
TOMMY: [begins throwing his armor and axe down for DREAM to explode.]
DREAM: No, no, it’s fine.
TOMMY: Re-really?
DREAM: Yeah. Today’s the party, right?
---
TOMMY: So when can I- no, I wanna go back. I… hey, thanks for letting me keep my armour today.
DREAM: You’re welcome.
TOMMY: Kinda nice of you.
[full transcription]
Dream isn’t only hurting Tommy for the sake of hurting him. People tend to frame it as if Dream Just Hates Tommy, but that’s not true. He finds Tommy fun, in a twisted way. There are a lot of moments in exile where they’re both on very good terms and Dream is friendly with Tommy. But, it's also all part of horror of exile, making Tommy reliant on him and his company, getting him to doubt his sense of reality, making him question whether his friends back in L’manburg ever cared about him at all, and possibly questioning whether he’s imagining the abuse as well, Dream is so kind to him after all, why would he ever want to hurt him?
Over the course of exile Tommy agency and sense of self start to deteriorate as well as his mental health, he starts worrying about what Dream would think, starts asking Dream for permission, going out of his way to avoid upsetting him, his only friend, his only reliable caring companion.
TOMMY: Yeah, so I’m thinking we- and then I can- but the thing is; so recently my buddy, Dream, has been doing this thing where he, uhm… it makes sense, though, because I’m not in his land anymore, but he takes my shit from me, so I need to make sure- […]
---
RANBOO: Yeah, so what do you say- does Dream like take your armor? Is that what you said?
TOMMY: I don’t know, he just- hey man, I just follow the boss.
[full transcription]
TOMMY: “Visit Techno” no, no, what would Dream think? […]
---
TOMMY: I’ve had a little idea, by the way, and I wanna know what you think, and also if I’m allowed
DREAM: Okay?
[full transcription]
TOMMY: Yeah, I know he’s actually - he’s sort of my- he’s borderline my owner, Big Q, so I’m not really sure.
MEXICAN DREAM: He’s your dad?
TOMMY: No, no-
MEXICAN DREAM: Ey! Ey, Papa Thomas!
TOMMY: No, no, we’re- as in labor.
MEXICAN DREAM: You gotta teach your child some manners.
[full transcription]
Dream’s outburst in exile after finding Tommy’s chests, is arguably one of Dream's most emotionally honest (and reckless) moments in exile considering it was what made Tommy realize he needed to save himself and escape. And it's punishing Tommy for going behind his back and planning to revolt.
TOMMY: I’m really, no, I’m really sorry, though. Why don’t we just pretend this never- yeah, let’s, shall we just pretend this-?
DREAM: Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy. Listen, I’ll leave you here to think about what you did-
TOMMY: What about the nether? What about the nether, my friends, what-?
DREAM: No! You can’t go to the nether, no one can come here, you are alone, okay? As soon as I think that you have changed, have become somebody who isn’t going to hide and lie and try and revolt; then people can visit you again. You can go to the nether again. But for now - no, no one can. You- I was being very lenient. Yesterday I let you go into the Dream SMP on a temporary pass, and then what do I find out the next day?
TOMMY: I’m so sorry.
DREAM: I have been nothing but gracious to you. Tommy. Think about what you did.
---
Exile wasn’t only a means to getting closer to the discs or getting Tommy out of the way. Exile was a means to conditioning Tommy into listening and respecting Dream as his superior. Dreams solution to Tommy being disruptive and troublesome was to [physically beat], emotionally abuse, and psychologically condition him into obedience. Only seeing exile as a testament to how far how willing he was go to meet his ends is reductive, and not acknowledging what Dream considers to be a “problem” and what he considers to be “solutions” is to not engage with his worldview. You have to take exile into account and what it actually says about his ideals of harmony and unity.
---
TOMMY: I can’t go back… I can’t go back, and see my friends and see Tubbo. This is a shithole! He wasn’t- he wasn’t here ‘cause he was my friend. He was here to- what did he say on the first day? Got a little bug that he can’t flig off? I’m the only person who never does exactly what he says?
TOMMY: I’m the only person who never does what he says. Me! He said that to me, didn’t he?
TOMMY: He was here to watch me.
[full transcription]
Dream’s relationship to Tommy can (and honestly should) be compared to his relationship to the entire server at large. Not to imply that He Literally Wants To Abuse The Server, but rather the he views the server revolting as a problem, and the solution? Well. The [prison]. The hall of attachments. It’s no surprise that the disc war, a conflict that was initially only primarily between Dream and Tommy*, is suddenly about everyone. Bargaining and blackmailing using attachments, something Dream initially only subjected Tommy to, to keep him under his control, is now a means to control everyone.
Is Dream's goal of unity for the sake of the overall happiness and quality of life of the people living within said unity? I don’t doubt that this at some point in time was true. But, the fact that he’s willing to ruin lives and long-term psychologically destroy people over it, means that his goal isn’t unity for the sake of the people living in his ideal version of the server, but at their expense. Him believing he needs to control people to maintain unity and harmony means that he believes himself to know what's best for people moreso than the people themselves, and therefore he's the only one responsible enough to make decisions for them. And it also means that his motives has warped and twisted overtime, it’s likely that he’s become so fixated on the goal of unity itself that he’s lost track of why he wanted it in the first place.
Anyway. Stop buying into Dream's own self-justification of "ends justify the means" and put his deeply flawed and broken worldview and view of people under a little bit of goddam scrutiny.
#*yeah no its about tubbo and sapnap too but thats not really who dream has ever focused on#dream smp#dreamwastaken#tommyinnit#exile arc#tw abuse#ask to tag#lor3 essays
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unusable faces
i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)
PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link
Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader
^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)
A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA.
To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:
Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.
Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning
Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set
The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.
Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.
The joys of success hey?
Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.
“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently
“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave.
“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.
“You mean laugh at us?”
“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.
Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.
“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.
“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable.
“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed.
“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend.
“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.
“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially.
“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid; when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be.
“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.
“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”
After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.
At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that.
Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks.
“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)
Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras.
So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man.
“You good?” His answer was predictable.
“I’m so fucking shattered”
Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.
“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”
Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands.
Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other.
So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end.
Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.
“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything.
So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.
“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”
“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away.
Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.
The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph.
“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.
For fear of getting hurt.
So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his.
“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing.
The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.
“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs.
“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.
“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”
“Yeh me… me too”
And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.
What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.
It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.
Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.
Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else.
So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep.
#tom holland#tom holland fluff#tom holland x reader#tom holland x famous!reader#tom holland x actress!reader#fluff
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this is probably an unpopular opinion but I feel like bts is slowly becoming more and more like blackpink. no proper korean promo, very few comeback stages and no korean award show performances, targeting american fans and gp with english songs, and now instagram which is probably giving them the possibility of having an individual brand and maybe individual brand deals. it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's really different from what they used to do and I've really lost the hype I had for their music cause their latest songs feel very unauthentic.
I wouldn’t say it’s not an unpopular opinion. We have to keep in mind the biggest change so far has been HYBE/BigHit going public. Meaning every decision that’s happened since then (and even prior) has been in the interest of the company and it’s shareholders. When money and profits enter the mix, artistry and consideration has the tendency to take a backseat. We also have to keep in mind that the world around us is constantly changing which creates a ripple effect on our actions. The members have said themselves that if COVID didn’t happen, they never would’ve released dynamite (and probably butter and ptd as well). And that’s true because rather than dynamite promotions, they would’ve been touring the world instead. So dynamite was a result of HYBE trying to re-enter the American market and make up for the substantial loss in tanking profits. It’s already been stated that some of the members didn’t all agree with singing in English. But thanks to the huge success of Dynamite (hello billboard #1s and Grammy nomination), it led them to do a similar song (Butter) hoping for similar results (which they got). After all if it’s not broken, then why fix it? A lot of people didn’t like the english songs, but there’s no denying that the overall reception from fans regarding their past few comebacks has been positive. Then again, the members’ constant letters and expression of gratitude for those Billboard #1s probably had a huge role in that (after all what fam doesn’t want to make their idol happy).
Anyways my point is, there’s no use comparing the BTS of today to the BTS of yesterday. They’re no longer small town boys, eating nothing but ramen for dinner and begging people on the streets to attend their concerts for free. That desperation is long gone. Successfully breaking into the American music market as an all Korean act changes things. Successfully becoming millionaires changes things. Successfully launching a billion dollar company IPO changes things. BTS started from a small company, BLACKPINK did not. From the get go, YG’s plan for blackpink has always been to make them individual standouts. There’s never been a message of “OT4” amongst the company or fan sentiments. The opposite can be said for BTS. “OT7” has proven beneficial to BTS’s strongly reliable fanbase but it’s also proven to be detrimental to each of the members’ individual growths. Getting their own instagrams is probably the best thing that’s happened to them in 2021 and the proof is right there. Just take a look at how much they’ve posted and shared on their individual accounts. It’s also no surprise they’ve been posting less on the group’s twitter account. I always say BTS aren’t a monolith. The group is comprised of 7 individuals with 7 different personalities, 7 different values philosophies, 7 different life goals and ambitions. Self-expression and actualization is vital to a healthy way of life. And there’s only so much “OT7” can express. You get my point.
Back to the music aspect of things: Thanks to the absolute flop PTD was, expect their next comeback title track to be in Korean (or maybe a better mix of English and Korean). They also didn’t get the end goal results they had expected for Butter (rather than several Grammy nominations they received only one and it was in the same category they had lost to last year). I’ve realized rather than having such a strong parasocial attachment to BTS, when you start viewing them as you would any other artist (listen to their songs if you like it, don’t listen to their songs if you don’t), you’ll be a lot less discontent with the decisions they make.
At the end of the day, BTS don’t really owe their fans anything. Should they decide to disband today for personal reasons, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. And most importantly, let’s all keep in mind that BTS are contracted employees of BigHit Music. It’s been very very very obvious and telling that none of the 7 members are in charge of making any of the group’s executive decisions. If the company says “jump”, of course their immediate reaction isn’t to say “how high?” After all, I’m sure they have some wiggle room for negotiations. But when a decision or plan is presented as both beneficial/profitable to them (and the company), then you can imagine they’d have no issues being on board. And even if 1 or 2 (or even 3) members disagree, you know what they say: majority rules.
#supop thoughts#i have no idea why i bolded some parts and not others#everything i say should be emphasized#critical thinking is paramount#bts#asks#hybe#bighit#yoongi#suga#jhope#hoseok#jimin#taehyung#jungkook#seokjin#jin#namjoon#rm#bts thoughts#instagram
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ii. Fun Facts About The Cast | Actor Au | Obey Me
Request: Its not, I love this AU tho
Word Count: 2303 words
Page Count: 6.5 pages
A.N. Hope you guys all like this! Fun facts about the cast lmao
[ Actor AU Masterlist ]
Fun Facts
Benjamin ( Lucifer )
- Is the dad of the cast.
- In any scenes with Dmitri ( Luke ), he makes sure to know if he is alright, and often will stop scenes to ask.
- He also is an overall joker, so he has trouble filming most of his scenes, will often start laughing in the middle of filming and can break character the easiest.
- Best with kids overall, probably due to having his own, keeps their lives private tho.
- His hair was white for a past show, but the directors liked the look, so that's why he has white tips.
- One of the few male characters who cannot do those diets to accentuate his abs- so that's why his character is always covered up.
- He's in shape! But, he likes the fat that protects his muscle, he says he needs to stay soft to hug his kids.
- Known diabetic, so there's a table full of foods so his sugars are stable, the cast has glucagon shots all over the sets to be safe.
- Is in his early thirties, but people say he can pull off early twenties- he just snorts at this.
Avery ( Mammon )
- Takes the job seriously, and his scenes are easiest to film.
- Dark humor and often is the "Lucifer" of the cast.
- Seeing him switch from Avery to Mammon leaves the rest of the cast and crew fucking s h o o k.
- Will always be seen looking his finest.
- No, no one has seen him in public in sweatpants or anything like that. His image is very serious.
- Is a sweetheart when with the rest of the cast tho.
- His eyes are actually that blue.
- No one is sure if his hair is actually white or not, the way he speaks about it is vague, and fans are always theorizing.
- Watching over Benji ( Lucifer ), and is usually the one to tell him to check his sugars, since the other is quite forgetful.
- Is an immigrant from Turkey, so he has an accent, makes people thirst for him more.
- Helps aspiring actors and directors get into the field, and goes on hard work and talent, not who tries to pay him off.
Jackson ( Leviathan )
- Is the resident fuckboi.
- Always with males and females hanging off him, at this point the pop gave up, no- they aren't his partner.
- Flexes a shit ton.
- Wearing chains, a Rolex, and anything designer.
- Donates half of his salary to ocean reserves and protection funds, he has the money for it, and the show pays him well.
- Always at the beach, or near lake houses and shit, the one ( 1 ) thing he likes about his character.
- Hates the fringe he wears with a passion.
- His hair is actually a light shade of brown, his eyes are a darker shade, but still pretty light.
- First generation, his parents are Korean, so you can pick up hints of their accent in his speech patterns. Gets heavy when he's sleepy.
Ross ( Satan )
- Is a stoner.
- Goes on Instagram lives with either MC and gets high, talking about the dumbest shit or he's alone in his room and his cats join in.
- "So, if you think about- oH MY GOD PRINCESS. YES, COME TO DADDY."
- Has a kitten curled up on him, purrs loud as hell because mf is so warm, and the lives turn into purring ASMR sessions.
- Into self care, has a line of vitamins, face masks, and everything you can think of.
- Calls his fans his SaStans.
- Dmitri ( Luke ) is his younger brother.
- Will never let him out of his sight, and they love to be as mean as they can to each other, they love each other but love to bully one another.
- Is from the Bronx, so his accent is what Avery ( Mammon ) mimics for his character, often just records Avery's lines and sends them to him so he can practice.
- Owns an animal shelter he funds.
- "Carol Baskin? Who's that?"
- The REAL tiger king.
- Gets all his cats dyed to look like tigers.
Micheal ( Asmodeus )
- Chill as fuck.
- Has like 5+ kids, so the role fits him perfectly, and now it's an on running joke among fans that they are all his illegitimate children.
- You know why Asmodeus on the show wears so much makeup?
- His eldest daughter is one of the makeup artists, and she loves to try new looks on him, and the producers think it would fit the character well.
- People speculate his age, looks young but is in his late 30's.
- His first child was born when he was 16, so he likes to support safe heavens and things like that for struggling youths- from being kicked out to needing assistance with mental health.
- Tired af.
- Always in sweatpants, him and Ross ( Satan ) are the trademark bums of the cast.
- Thinks it would be hilarious that when Micheal is revealed, in the show, that he plays the character.
- Is a writer as well, TSL is a real series and he writes it, so they let him use it in the show.
- Vlogs in his car, in a Wendy's parking lot, eating a shit ton of food and talking about the most random shit.
- Half asleep in all interviews, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, it's gotten to the point where everyone memes it too.
James ( Beelzebub )
- Himbo.
- One of the few cast members closest to their character.
- Absolute sweetheart.
- He's 20 years old.
- But how is he so fucking big???
- Comes from a big ass family, the middle child, he's baby 4 out of 9.
- All his siblings are redheads too.
- Very playful tho, with the cast always going along with his antics, making for the best bloopers.
- The contacts he wears make him blind af, which doesn't help since he's so tall, and will bump his head on the doorways and such.
- Can speak Scottish-Gaelic, and even has an accent to top it off.
- He is an absolute unit, and one of the characters who does the stupid diet to show off his form.
- Literally on the verge of passing out sometimes, so he needs to rest with Benjamin ( Lucifer ).
- All pictures, shirtless scenes, and such are filmed first so he can rest after and go back to a normal diet.
- Quiet guy, but loves talking about sports and his siblings tho.
- Is always carrying MC and Dmitri ( Luke ) around, now there are many off-guard photos posted to the casts shared twitter+instagram accounts
- Still pretty new to acting, but is amazing at emotional scenes, to the point fans actually think he's having a breakdown.
- Nah, he's just thinking about being alone, without his family- and it gets him bawling for said scenes.
Conner ( Belphegor )
- Crackhead
- Will not stay still, either for filming or just when everyone is chilling.
- Scenes where he's asleep? He's usually turned away from the camera, cause the idiot is smiling and giggling.
- Has tripped over his tail multiple times.
- Comes from a farm-life, literal cowboy, his southern accent just hits hard.
- He hides it very well, but it comes out at times or with certain words.
- Sees Benjamin ( Lucifer ) as a mentor, he's in his early twenties and new to the scene, but they are best friends.
- Benjamin ( Lucifer ) has now acquired a new child.
- A living meme.
- You know how Tom Holland can't keep a secret?
- Yeah, he's worse.
- Rest of the cast have all had to physically stop him from talking at one point.
- The cow pillow? It's actually his, when he got the role his father has sewn it himself, so he will bring it with him.
- It's basically free promo for the show and comforts him in the city space.
- Gets overwhelmed in large crowds, so he usually makes sure to have another cast member close by, or he will literally leave to a less crowded place to take a breath.
- Apologized to MC after the scene in which he kills them.
- His mama raised him right, so he takes MC to his house for a movie, in which they cuddle and relax for the night.
- Felt really bad for like... a whole week.
- "Country boy I love you~"
Thomas ( Barbatos )
- Brat.
- This is one cocky man, he's smooth as hell, and one whisper can make you weak in the knees.
- Grew out the one side of his hair, but he slicks his hair back or will pin it back, dyes it himself when it's time to film.
- Loves to piss Alex ( Simeon ) off.
- Has a true crime podcast with Roman ( Diavolo ), Alex ( Simeon ), and Benjamin ( Lucifer ), because they're all old friends.
- Donates to the cold case foundation because he knows what it's like to lose someone and not know what happened to them.
- He has a twin who is his stunt double, they love to fuck with the rest of the cast, both of them are little shits.
- Is the motherfucker who makes a channel and reads the crackhead fanfics
- Loves every word of it tho.
- Responds to every fans dms. Every. One. As a whole account for this shit.
- Walks with a bit of a limp, so he wears a brace to help even himself, but during wide-shot scenes you can catch it sometimes.
- Took actual classes to be a butler for the role.
Roman ( Diavolo )
- Himbo 2.0
- Catch this man tweeting what he's trying to search up at 2 in the morning.
- Leaves them because it's hilarious, makes videos where he reads them out sometimes, it's all in good fun.
- He has a set of triplets at home, so that dad energy radiates into the show too.
- You know how Diavolo seems sus at points of the game? Yeah, he's still like that IRL.
- The rest of the cast was put off at first, but that's how he is, and everyone eased up pretty quickly.
- Makes jokes that he has family in the Italian mob, but needed to stop once his father called him, saying that there were too many eyes on the family now.
- Man was s h o o k.
- Has sensitive skin, so all his makeup and body paints need to be specially made, made with all natural products.
- The bags under his eyes are baby bags.
- Will bring his kids on set, to which everyone will gush over, and watch them when they aren't filming.
- Very private with his kids ( to the public ), doesn't post about them much, and only the cast really sees them.
- Wine dad.
- Catch him bringing the whole cast out for "family trips"
- People nicknamed him Caesar
- So many JoJo references now
- "SHHHHIIIIIZZZAAAAAAAA"
- "Please, no."
Dmitri ( Luke )
- Is actually 12.
- Quotes vines, tiktoks, and other memes.
- Is one of the few people that Alex ( Simeon ) is openly nice too.
- Also has an accent, but since he's young and is learning, can now mimic every other cast member's accent.
- Wear earplugs for certain scenes, because of how raunchy and dark the scenes can get, so Simeon and Barbatos are always conveniently in the way, hiding the plugs.
- Is Ross' ( Satan ) younger brother, and if he isn't hanging off of him he's with James ( Beelzebub ), Benjamin ( Lucifer ), or MC.
- They know there are some sick fucks in Hollywood so he has an adult with him at all times.
- Posts pictures of him cuddling up to his brother and the kittens, new foods he is trying, and some pictures with family.
- He often is considered the new Gordon Ramsay.
- Had a collaboration with him.
- It was amazing.
- Best boy, catch him taking a nap in his ( and Ross' ) trailer, surrounded by tiger kittens.
- The TIGER PRINCE.
Alex ( Simeon )
- Avatar of wrath who?
- The embodiment of "No talk me, I angy"
- Jkjk, though he does have a temper, he only loses it with Benjamin ( Lucifer ), Roman ( Diavolo ), and Thomas ( Barbatos ).
- A sweetheart with all children though, like you know Simeon on the show?
- Yeah, he's only like that with kids.
- And respectable adults.
- Mama raised him well 2.0
- Grew up in NY
- Born in Gucci and Balenciaga.
- Was a child model and slowly expanded to acting.
- Dark humor galore.
- If Simeon met Alex, he'd probably have a stroke, cause THOSE WORDS are coming out of HIS mouth.
- Says the weirdest shit too.
- "Put your hand on my ass and call me a virgin."
- Bro are you okay???
- He is fluent in five languages and has a high IQ.
- Speaks: English, French, Italian, Arabic, and Mandarin
- Has a support system for children who struggle to learn conventionally, with trained tutors who are affordable, he knows what it's like to need certain needs met to learn, and he wants every kid to get that chance.
- Rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.
Derek ( Solomon )
- Loves to smoke with Ross ( Satan )
- He is more aloof than chill.
- One of the more awkward members, doesn't know how to socialize well, and is very shy.
- Watch out for Dmitri ( Luke ) on the down low.
- Didn't have the best life growing up, so he is a lot more street smart than book smart.
- Doesn't have a big social media influence.
- Very nice to fans, gives full hugs to them, and everyone feels so appreciated.
- Has a husky named Blue.
- Also has an owl, who he took in when he found it on his porch with a broken wing, and nursed it to health.
- He set it free, but she comes back often, and has a nest in the tree closest to his house.
- Named her Lovely.
- Animal person, so he helps Ross out with his animal shelters.
- Uses Blue as a living pillow, and only sleeps in his boxers when Blue is on his bed, because goddamn does that dog radiate heat.
- Him and MC live together, having grown up together, and made their livings together.
#reader insert#x reader#obey me actor au#om actor au#obey me x reader#obey me imagines#obey me lucifer x reader#obey me x you#obey me lucifer x mc#lucifer x reader#lucifer x mc#obey me lucifer#mammon x reader#mammon x mc#om! mammon x reader#obey me mammon x reader#obey me mammon x mc#leviathan x reader#leviathan x mc#satan x reader#satan x mc#swd satan#obey me satan x reader#obey me satan#asmodeus x reader#asmodeus x mc#obey me asmo#beelzebub x reader#beelzebub x mc#beel x reader
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hello! it’s me, the perpetually absent as of late mun of minhee, eunah, dowoon & seungwoo. to summarize: i’ve been having the worst luck irl for about three months straight. it’s been one thing after another and i no longer am able to tell you what day of the week it is. (like, really.) great, now that that’s over, consider this my plot call for the new quarter. i’ve decided to plot for all my muses through minhee’s account & my d!scord to try and keep everything together as well, so please like/reply to this post for anything under the cut that interests you for any of my kids! i’ve really missed you, famed <3
minhee
of course, all of these schedules, and the other group ones, are open for threads with lipstick members as a given!! the special mv filming, their fan signs, etc!!
and anyone who wants to do a volunteering thread, yes please! <3 bc muses, minhee is so here to bitch about bc between takes for the documentary... and then she’ll go all i lov my family <3 at the concert like a week later but nvm that.
lipstick are promoting hurt locker from july 15 - august 15, so if that crosses over with any of your muses’ promotional periods, please feel free to hit minhee and me up, because oh god, she is so bored of waiting around backstage at music shows. she’ll happily cause some mischief or assuage any nerves or anything else!
ulsan music festival : for muses in decipher, knight, charm, unity, aria, impulse, fuse, femme fatale or vive! maybe minhee almost makes your muse late for their set, or maybe they have a real heart to heart in the dressing rooms after they catch minhee yelling about her shorts riding up one too many times.
suwon kt wiz supporters festival : for muses in gal.actic or aria! omg hot girl shit here. anyways, minhee hates the outfits lipstick are dressed in here, so she’ll probably be complaining about being a sexy delivery driver. gal.actic muses will have to deal with her asking them to teach her the choreo for fri. sat. sun. because she loves it so much.
daegu chimaek festival : for muses in bee, gal.actic or silhouette! more hot girl shit! bee and silhouette muses please forgive minhee for being a clingy lover of both groups, even into her hag era. same as above applies for gal.actic muses -- idk, part 2: she gets you to film fri. sat. sun. tiktoks with her.
haeundae hite concert : minhee hates their outfits, part 2. loves bee, part 2.
hallyu dream concert : ok i’m not typing out everyone who’s performing here, but if your muse is!! hit up minhee!! she’s got a flannel shirt around her waist that she will be slipping out of and using as a lasso (no one point out to her that she could just... untie it...)
eunah
same again, everything 7rophy-wise obviously is all open for 7rophy members!! dumdi dumdi prep & promo stuff and all that!
volunteering stuff with anyone is open!! & the photoshoot with any other dimensions idols is open too!!
has her solo comeback on july 20th!! basically is promoting nonstop all summer and is . suffering a lot, it’s really hard on her.
chinese international students’ festival : for muses in alien, lucid, silhouette or impulse! eunah is ... not gonna be in a good mood, so pretty much, uh, this (and the other festival 7rophy are performing at), would be pretty good opportunities for maybe some old friends to see the return of bitchy/icy eunah, or for her to shock some new friends with her attitude!!
cheonan world dance festival : for muses in lucid, silhouette or fuse! see above, basically.
dowoon
bc muses come get your x-rays with dowoon!! he’ll hate it!! alternatively, come hang out at the anniversary concert with dowoon!! he’s ok with it!!
someone please come animal shelter volunteering with this boy, he loves animals so so much.
so, charm’s on tour in japan for most of this quarter! charmies ( dowoon says : bleh but you know the way nctzens call dream members the dreamies ... yeah ... ) please hit me up for some dowoon tour bitching. he really hates fallin’ flower. like, more than anything. please indulge his complaints, or totally disagree with him! maybe him and one of the other charmies could have a massive falling out on tour :eyes: drama. he’s just grumpy bc he’s away from wang for so long.
but on the bright side, he loves home;run so much, so on the total flip of the last point, charmies please come have fun with him!! fun, of course, means long hours in the dance studio even after everything is perfect, but like? he’s smiling? so that obviously means it’s fun? even if it isn’t? idk he’s a strange child. or maybe it’s time for fights... again?
hallyu dream concert : again i am not typing out everyone, but if your muse is performing at this concert, dowoon will probably be in desperate need of a break from charm after the quarter he’s had, so come hang out with him!!
seungwoo
my king. the opposite to dowoon’s gremlin ass self. anyways, yes, hi. mars muses, your leader misses you and wants all the threads for twilight era, even if he doesn’t really care about the song very much.
seungwoo in general is just the most in need of plots right now, so if anyone wants a messy ex turned good boy bff or a deep seeded hatred thing from years back or anything, uhhh hmu.
hallyu dream concert : and again!! he’s open for threads here!! let him, idk, extend his leaderly duties to your muse and take care of them if they need something. or maybe there’s a backstage confrontation years in the making?!?!? or, idk, you catch him reading some poems and your muse thinks that’s lame nerd shit.
#flashing gif tw#fmdcall#this is so long im So sorry#anyways im now starting my 10th rewatch of degrassi tng and going through all of minhee's woefully belated dms
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Ep 200: The Disappearance of Frederick Valentich Part 2
“It seems to me that he’s playing some sort of game. He’s flying over me two, three times at a time, at speeds I could not identify.”
– Frederick Valentich - 7:08 pm, somewhere over the Bass Strait in Australia, October 21st, 1978
Description:
When the facts about a paranormal event yield no more answers, investigators and the public alike tend to turn their attention to the experiencer's character to ascertain its authenticity. So what kind of person was Frederick Valentich? A once-lost aircraft accident report from Australia's Department of Transport, which resurfaced in 2012, has shed some light on Valentich's behavior and state of mind leading up to the moment of his disappearance. Through extensive interviews with his family, friends, associates, and the flight personnel he came into contact with, a picture emerges of Valentich's disposition. Although there were some puzzling actions and statements by the young pilot, overall, he appeared to be a dedicated and serious student of aviation. Yet if a paranormal cause of his disappearance is off the table of consideration, then the answer must lie in one of his shortcomings, right? This has led to speculation that Valentich intended to abscond with the aircraft and start a new life, or he planned a mysterious suicide, or that as a UFO enthusiast, he simply mistook stars and planets for a UFO and crashed trying to avoid it. As we delve further into the details and analysis from the official report in part two of our series, we're joined by listener and lifelong Melbourne resident Chris Tyler. Being quite familiar with the case, Chris will lend his own insight into the mystery and illustrate this enchanting Australian backdrop's prevailing attitudes and characteristics.
Location:
Moorabbin Airport, where Frederick Valentich took off from on October 21, 1978, headed for King Island across Bass Strait.
Reference Links:
“Capturing the Light” – The true story of Dorothy Izatt on Amazon Prime
The Frederick Valentich case on the original Unsolved Mysteries, Season 5, Episode 2 on Amazon Prime
“Last Light: the Valentich Mystery” from The History Listen with Kirsti Melville on ABC.net.au
“Disappearance of Frederick Valentich” on Wikipedia
“What Happened to Frederick Valentich? Possibly the scariest UFO case ever” by OzWeatherman on AboveTopSecret.com
“Valentich Case Files Finally Released” by Kandinsky on AboveTopSecret.com
“The Valentich Abduction/Disappearance: 40th Anniversary” by MirageMan on AboveTopSecret.com
“The Abduction of Fred Valentich” from The Unexplained Files on Discovery UK – YouTube clip of Melbourne Flight Advisor Officer Steve Robey describing his radio communication with Valentich
Complete episode on the Valentich disappearance from The Unexplained Files on the Discovery Channel
Cessna 182 “Skylane”
Valentich’s missing aircraft report online, from the National Archives of Australia
Download of Valentich’s missing aircraft report as a PDF
Bass Strait
Moorabbin Airport
“'Truth' was out there after all –An accidental discovery sheds new light on the mysterious disappearance of a pilot in 1978, writes Miles Kemp” from The Advertiser
Australian UFO researcher, Keith Basterfield
Melbourne, Australia
Tasmania
King Island, Tasmania
Visit King’s Island
“Biography of Bette Nesmith Graham, Inventor of Liquid Paper” on ThoughtCo.com
Bette Nesmith Graham on Wikipedia
Australian crayfish
The TCAS or Traffic collision avoidance system
“What C.S. Lewis and Martin Luther Would Say About Our Coronavirus Panic”
Black Death
Second plague pandemic
“Plague was one of history’s deadliest diseases—then we found a cure” on NationalGeographic.com
Suggested Listening:
Check out our good friend Gledders’ paranormal podcast, ANOMALY, where he, his co-host Steve Freestone, and Forrest discuss some of the more weird and wild events of 2020 and more in his latest 2-part series. Click here to subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, the website at anomaly.co.uk, or anywhere excellent podcasts are found.
And then after that, check out Gledders’ “80’s Mix Tape” for the best in 1980s music, Saturdays, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. in the UK, or stream anytime at Huntingdon Community Radio HCR 104 FM!
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Credits:
Episode 200: The Disappearance of Frederick Valentich Part 2. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
#199#Frederick Valentich#Melbourne#Australia#Moorabbin#airport#UFO#Tasmania#Bass Strait#Unsolved Mysteries#King Island#Cessna#pilot#airplane#UAP#200
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how to not get discouraged writing a fic you like
but it might not necessarily be popular in your fandom
writing a rare pair? trying out an unpopular trope? writing for a small ficdom? or maybe you’re just a smaller account and writing without feedback is getting difficult — i know the feeling! here are some things that help me not get discouraged when i don’t necessarily see the stats that i want to see on my fics.
disclaimer - what works for me may not work for you! these may not apply to you at all and that’s okay!
1. remember why you started writing it!
this is easier said than done but i like to put up a little sticky note above my desk on my board with the name of my wip and why i want to write it. for example, most of my rare pairs have a small following, which means they are starving for content. thus if you continuously writing the same rare pair, you might find that you’ll gain a substantial amount of subscribers
2. make friends in your ficdom
i’ve found that the easiest way to do this is through twitter. if you’re someone who likes fic fests, many of them will create a group chat or discord server where you can meet new people. or perhaps you’ll get paired up with a beta and make a new friend that way. either way, making friends (especially those that have the same interests in fics) is extremely helpful in a. boosting your self confidence and b. boosting your stats! many fic authors will rt their friends’ fics or at least like/reply to them, causing them to show up on their followers’ timelines.
3. take advantage of promotion accounts!
in larger ficdoms, there are often fic rec accounts that can help promote your fic. dm them, or send your fic to them anonymously, and BOOM free promo! for example, i follow nctficfic on twitter and they help promote many authors big and small based on many different themes, tropes, and categories.
4. change how you view your stats
i won’t tell you to disregard them completely, but changing how you look at them can be very helpful. writing something that isn’t necessarily popular in ficdom means you probably won’t get the numbers you want, especially if you’re a “small writer”. for example, the most popular ship in nct is markhyuck, so that ship tends to get the highest numbers (sometimes it doesn’t, it’s hard to explain).
here are some ways you can change how you look at them:
• don’t compare yourself to other writers, compare to your past self. this is definitely easier said than done, but it can be helpful to take a screenshot of your statistics every month and compare them. you also must keep in mind that there are different things that can affect your stats! for example, your stats will probably be higher during quarantine because more people are reading online. same goes for during summer or holiday breaks.
• look for consistency in comments/kudos! are the same users reading your fics? have you gotten more user subscriptions? that means you probably have a following! this is key, especially when writing for a rare pair. people will “trust” you or depend on you to provide content for their rare pair, so they will constantly return to your profile and probably subscribe to you. they’ll also tell their friends about your fics because they are harder to find.
• quality over quantity! long comments and bookmarks with notes might matter more to you than hits and kudos. rare pairs tend to get you longer comments even if there isn’t too many, as people are more grateful to consume your fics. save the comments that mean the most to you (it might be all of them!) and check back on them when you need them most.
• always use the statistics page rather than looking at your works. why? because the statistics page will show you a complete overview all at once, plus your subscriptions, user subscriptions, and private bookmarks which are things that don’t show up on your works. also, you can change how you view your numbers to see which of your fics are doing the best in terms of hits, kudos, bookmarks, etc.
• remember that your statistics for each fic will decrease over time. as more fics are being posted and yours gets lost in the tags, don’t beat yourself up if the numbers slow down. instead, promote your fics! recommend them to authors anonymously, use promotion accounts and rec blogs, send them to your friends, etc. whenever someone replies or quote rts on twitter, make sure to reply back, and it will show up on the timeline again.
• remember that your stats don’t measure the quality of your work — it just measures how many people are reading. low numbers doesn’t automatically make your fic bad. i try to drill this in my head every day and it’s hard, but cherish the amount of feedback you get — chances are if at least one person likes it, it’s good, because nobody is obligated to lie to you.
5. be consistent
find your niche and work with it, and others will find you! this doesn’t mean you have to write the same thing all the time, but if you are more consistent with what you write, then people will have reason to subscribe to you. for example, i write a lot of fic about mark from nct, so people who are fans of mark follow me because they know i will put out content about him. same goes for some of my favourite rare pairings.
don’t be surprised if your first or second fic doesn’t get too much attention, but expect for those numbers to go up steadily as more people discover your work.
6. remember that you are always getting better
with every fic you write, you are getting better. you may not realize it, but you are! have you ever read your old fics and pointed out flaws that you didn’t notice before? that means you’ve gotten better. whether it’s 0.5 times better or 10 times better, you are still improving. so keep writing, and keep getting better!
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CONGRATULATIONS, BELLE! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF EVANGELINE TRAME.
Admin Rosey: Whew - okay - I absolutely adore Evangeline. I always and always will because she is the character that I expected so many to look and undermine. But Belle...whew, I loved this application so, so much. You understand her down to the very bones that build her up and make her the shining pillar that she is, while also adding different nuances to her that I had never thought of or considered myself. One of my favorite quotes that I h a v e to highlight is actually from your plot points, and it encapsulates her perfectly: “ But perhaps she’s a blacksmith of a different kind. Perhaps she does not deal in the business of forging weapons, but forging empires.” And I think that’s all that needs to be said, don’t you? Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!
OUT OF CHARACTER
Alias | Belle
Age | 21
Personal Pronouns | She/Her
Activity Level | My activity is a bit of a mess. I don’t live at home for a few days in the week, and I rarely have my laptop with me, but I think I can manage bringing it with me sometimes. When I am home, however, I am definitely active. I’m almost always around my phone, though, so if anybody needs to message me, I’m typically around.
Timezone | GMT +2
Triggers | N/A
How did you find the group? | Through the tags, and then I started seeing a few of my mutuals reblog the promo posts.
Current/Past RP Accounts | I haven’t been in a group in over two years, and I don’t have any of my old accounts, sorry!
IN CHARACTER
Character | Evangeline Trame
What drew you to this character? | I have a particular soft spot for pawns. My favorite thing about Evangeline, above all else that I grew attached to while reading her biography, was that as strong as she is, as cunning as she has grown to be, as capable as she has forced herself to become, she is, in the end, another chess piece to be moved and—if need be—sacrificed. Perhaps the best part is the duality of her character that this presents; I see Evangeline as possessing a sort of tunnel vision, one that only allows her to see her own goals, and although she sees everything else, it’s her own endgame that she is fixated on. But her story is so much larger than the life she’s lived for the past twenty-eight years and she doesn’t know that. When I say Evangeline is a pawn, I don’t mean that she is a piece created to be cast aside. I mean that she serves a purpose, whether she knows it or not.
My love for Evangeline stems from my love for characters that belong to themselves, yet have layers that belong to others. I like that Evangeline is a product of her upbringing, of her relationships with others, of the life she once lived that she doesn’t know anything of, the life she only revisits in dreams and nightmares. I’m captivated by the idea of a reincarnated Eve who is not Eve.
What future plots do you have in mind for the character? | Where do you see this character developing, and what kind of actions would you have them take to get there? 3 future plot ideas would be preferable.
i. PHANTOM MEMORY. HOW I’D LOVE TO KILL YOU—
I don’t particularly like the idea of Evangeline being a slave to her past life. What I mean by this, is that I don’t want her to follow Eve’s story to the letter. I believe that Eve left behind a skeleton that is now shrouded in Evangeline’s blood, and those are two different people. However, those are two different people that are ultimately tied together, and I think that when Evangeline’s phantoms begin to cling to her ankles, claw at the hem of her dress in order to keep up with her steps, wrap themselves around her wrists while she dreams at night of memories that don’t belong to her, she will eventually succumb to them. Her phantoms can be perceived in many ways. For me, they are the byproduct of everything that Evangeline has ever been denied. To put it simply, they are the manifestations of Eve’s downfall and Evangeline’s awakening: Desire, covetousness, yearning, want. It’s this particular area that I believe the two women begin to bleed together, and the more Evangeline allows herself to get wrapped up in her phantoms, the sharper I believe her focus will become. Sharp enough, perhaps, to break through the cloud that has been fogging her memory all these years. Sharp enough, perhaps, to allow herself to put the broken fragments of her world and another together.
ii. I WILL EITHER FIND A WAY, OR I WILL MAKE ONE—
The Trame legacy has a long, respected history that holds them up in high regard in the Holy Land. Evangeline is not the person to look to for a sword. But she is the person to look to if you wish to be adored. Her beauty wasn’t the only thing that caused the citizens of the Holy Land to fall in love with her—it was her charm, her charisma, the captivating air she had about her. She is so much more than just a pretty face, and that point hasn’t been argued once before. The doubts that people have about her is that she won’t live up to her family name’s reputation. She isn’t a blacksmith, but she’s a diplomat, one who can negotiate and one who believes, ultimately, in peace, even if the shadows that clog her heart sometimes try to pull her in the opposite direction. I think that Evangeline’s shroud of ignorance that she allowed to blind her vision for many years took its toll on her, and now she is simply impatient.
She wants something great. Something greater. She wants to build a lasting memory of herself, one that will echo for centuries to come. Something that lasts longer than any sword or shield ever would. I think that Evangeline’s desire for greatness is tied to a desire for individuality. Her family name has lasted so long, and she knows her lineage like the back of her hand, but she wonders if others do. She wonders if they only acknowledge the Trame name because everyone that came after that first sword to fell a celestial did what they have always done—forge. She wonders if a single individual stands out amongst the rest, and she wants to be that person. She wants to be known for her actions, not her name’s history.
Evangeline doesn’t carry on her family name’s history of weaponry because she is not a traditional blacksmith.
But perhaps she’s a blacksmith of a different kind. Perhaps she does not deal in the business of forging weapons, but forging empires.
iii. “DON’T YOU FEEL LONELY LIVING IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD?” “DON’T YOU FEEL POWERLESS LIVING IN OTHER PEOPLE’S WORLDS?”—
I think that Evangeline possesses a certain fear of being forgotten. Maybe this is because she is the reincarnation of a figure whose name was on everyone’s lips at one point in time, maybe this is because she is so used to being adored by anyone and everyone. But whatever the reason may be, Evangeline is terrified of being left behind. She has so many visions of the life she wants to carve out for herself, and she does believe that if she wants it to happen, carving is the exact thing she must do. Whether it comes in the form of wrapping her fingers around her grandmother’s bejeweled neck until the pulse stops thumping so strongly underneath her hands, or by showing compassion for the impoverished people of the land that has given everything to her. Everything is a struggle to Evangeline—she had grown used to being locked away, hidden behind a veil that kept her from truly coming into her own, so she learned to fight whatever ways she could without letting anyone know that she did not intend to follow quietly into submission.
Her ambitions and goals are loud and fierce, but there’s always something holding her back. I think Evangeline’s breaking point would be to come at odds with a path to greatness. She wants to flourish and she wants to do it her way, but she does not want to be left behind in the dust. A lesson that I would love to teach Evangeline is the idea that the problem with wanting everything is that nothing comes free. Eventually, you have to sacrifice one of your desires. And though I go further into this later on, Evangeline’s selfishness is a force that drags her under with the help of those ever-present phantoms. So what would happen when she gets tired of playing pretend for good? What happens when she gets tired of waiting patiently for her due? What happens when she gets tired of living powerless in someone else’s world?
Would she decide to forgo her fear of being left behind and make a world of her own? Would she take a bite of the forbidden fruit, allow herself to be seduced by temptation? Or would she settle on the life she already has?
Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes.
IN DEPTH
Driving Character Motivation | Evangeline's motivations are primarily herself and, by extension, those who she believes belong to her. Not in a possessive way or in a selfish way (though she can be selfish), but those she believes are drawn close to her heart. That being said, just because some people reside in the confines of her soul, doesn't mean they get to stay there forever. Her grandmother, for example, was a driving force in Evangeline's life that ultimately resulted in her giving into the shadows that trailed behind her every step. And while Evangeline believes in remorse, she doesn't necessarily entertain it. She doesn't feel particularly guilty—rather, she feels that she acted in her own best interests. The love she had for her grandmother was strong but beat her own desires, and that's where the root of Evangeline's motivations lie. She desires plenty of things in her life—one might even say that she desires to want forever just to give herself meaning—and though she doesn't look to harm others in order to gain it, it remains a blind spot in her vision. She isn't a cruel person, but she possesses a certain sort of selfishness, a self-serving type of quality that is only a breath away from it.
Character Traits | OPTIONAL. Please list 3 positive traits and 3 negative traits that you identify in the character you’re applying for.
(+) COMPASSIONATE. Listing compassion first was not a mistake or a coincidence. Evangeline is good, but who said only good people are compassionate? Who said only heroes get to be solicitous? Perhaps the thing that separates everyone is the cause they choose to show their compassion to.
(–) SELFISH. As I explained before, Evangeline has a savage type of selfishness within her, one that can very easily crack open to reveal something wilder, less contained. As dignified as she is, the selfish part of her is not. It seems to be the part of her that grows more and more every day, festering and latching on to her bones with each passing hour. She doesn’t seem to mind their presence. In fact, she’s not only grown used to it, but she’s begun to welcome it.
(+) ASTUTE. Shrewd doesn’t seem like the appropriate word to use to describe Evangeline, but astute feels just right. She knows how to read people, every good diplomat knows how to, and she’s no different. She possesses a very keen ability to detect tension in the atmosphere, and she’s also very capable of either building it up or taming it down.
(–) CUNNING. Though it’s true that Evangeline is not as cunning or as sly as she likes to believe herself to be, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t possess any wits about her. She didn’t get to where she is today by simply smiling prettily. Had she decided to take that route, she would still be sitting across from her grandmother sipping tea that made her want to gag and convincing herself that false happiness was better than nothing. But Evangeline shook her head and said no, and she gathered every bit of cunning she had in her, and she wielded it as best as she could. And perhaps it’s her pride talking, but she thinks she’s done a fine job.
(+) DEVOTED. Above all, Evangeline is devoted to those she cares about. Though this is widely considered to be a positive trait, it’s a double-edged sword. Her devotion is something of a two-way street. She believes that those she cares for are hers, and she, in turn, is theirs. Evangeline doesn’t do anything by halves, and she has just a little flair for the dramatics, and this is no different.
(–) DISHONEST. Evangeline has been lying for so long that it’s become second nature to her. Maybe she hasn’t been lying with her words, but every action is just one more piece in the carefully curated veil of ignorance that she draped across herself. But even though the veil has begun to slip with her permission as Evangeline grows more comfortable with herself and her new role, she can’t stop the dishonesty. The worst part is that she’s lying to herself more than anyone else, feeding herself lies that she needs to keep herself upright because no one is there to do it for her anymore. When all is said and done, Evangeline only had people willing to lay their life down on the line for her in order to keep her in the dark, and the truth is, she doesn’t know how to live without that. Not for lack of trying, though, but old habits die hard, and this one is especially hard to break.
In-Character Para Sample | Trigger Warnings for: Murder, suffocation.
She’s seven years old, and she’s otherworldly.
Her legs are splayed out around the bedspread underneath her, wrinkles forming in the fabric under her weight. Behind her, she feels the pull of a hairbrush through her dark hair, the sound of her grandmother’s bracelets knocking together on her wrist. Evangeline breathes steadily through her nose, her eyes fluttering shut every few seconds, fighting to stay awake at such a late hour.
Maids circled the grounds like bees, multiplying and forming as if they simply appeared out of thin air, and yet Lady Trame never allowed anyone else the privilege to brush her granddaughter’s hair before bed each night. Evangeline would undress and slip a nightgown over body and then she would wait until she heard a strong, sharp knock that was undoubtedly her grandmother’s, coming to brush her hair for her before she would kiss her cheek and bid her goodnight, locking the door behind her and telling the guards standing outside to watch over her like their lives depended on it.
They already knew that, of course, but Lady Trame inspired a sort of fear in people that did not leave room for error or question. Evangeline watched her often, her wide, unblinking eyes taking in every inch of her as she commanded a room with her mere presence, and she felt her fingers itch to grasp that intangible power in her fist. She wanted to see it, wonder what color it would be if it came into focus. Maybe a deep, rich red, one that pulled the eye in the exact same way Lady Trame did.
Evangeline watched her grandmother, and she wanted to do what she did.
A particularly sharp pull on her hair startled a gasp out of Evangeline’s mouth, and she met her grandmother’s eyes in the mirror. “Yes, grandmother?” she asked, her voice high-pitched and breathy, the exact way she knew would get the best response from people. She knew because she liked to study people, liked to watch the different ways they reacted to different parts of her. It was almost like a bit of theatre, playing a part she never intended to try on again if it wasn’t well-received. Evangeline thrived on praise, loved to see the world fall over itself in order to make her happy. She liked the feeling of being adored.
Her grandmother looked at her with that steady, keen gaze of hers. “You know,” she said, pulling the brush through Evangeline’s hair once more. “One day, this will all be yours.” She gestured around the room Evangeline was lucky enough to call her own, but she knew that when Lady Trame said this meant the entire thing—every room, every corridor, every inch of the place she called home just as so many other Trames had in the past.
“Yes,” she said, feeling her skin prick in anticipation for the inevitable day. “One day,” she breathed, “I’ll be Lady Trame myself.”
Her grandmother didn’t answer, only kept her eyes trained steadily on her granddaughter like a hawk, as if she could see right through her. Evangeline pretended not to notice.
It’s the memory that stays with her for the rest of her life. Through every single lesson and every single meal, it hangs over her head almost as heavily as the phantoms that start clinging to her body, her dresses, her sheets, her skin. It comes to her at seemingly random points throughout the day, remembering the way she’d so eagerly announced her future title, shaping the words in her mouth as if they already belonged to her, longing for the day she could taste them again and hear the truth ring in the title.
It’s the reason why she pours her grandmother tea every single evening in her room.
It’s the reason why she snaps, in the end.
One reason out of many, truly, but a reason nonetheless. Evangeline sits in her chair across from Lady Trame and watches her throat work around the bitter tea that’s hard to get down, watches as a sallow undertone begins to contort her once-lovely face. She remembers the feeling of guilt, of remorse. She remembers thinking that it has no place in her heart, not right now, not in this situation.
“There will be other men, of course,” Lady Trame says, picking up a sentence she had almost abandoned, her insistent coughs punching each word. “Many men will catch your eye, and some of them will leave, some won’t.”
Her fingers clenched around the teacup, aching to spill the liquid on the floor and crack the teacup in hundreds of pieces. She wanted to grind the porcelain to dust.
She didn’t.
When Lady Trame asked her for a kiss upon the cheek before she retired to her room for the night, Evangeline did as she was told, as she always did. She pressed her lips to the woman’s papery skin, smelling nothing but perfume used to mask the scent of sickness, and straightened, ready to leave. She cast her eyes around her grandmother’s room once more, looking at the fine gowns, the gorgeously crafted furniture, the silk bed sheets, and she wanted to scream. After all this time, Evangeline wanted to scream.
Instead, she whispered.
“Grandmother,” she began, “are you feeling alright?”
She doesn’t really hear the reply. She’s sure Lady Trame offers up some sort of excuse before waving her off, telling her to get some sleep. All Evangeline could hear was the sound of her own voice, so many years ago, proudly declaring that this would all be hers one day. She could hear her grandmother asking her if she knew what that meant, staring at her as if she could read every thought inside her head.
The only thought she’d had was greed.
She wanted, and she wanted, and she wanted, and Evangeline was sick of wanting. She wanted to take.
It wasn’t as hard as she thought it would have been. Once she had her hands wrapped around Lady Trame’s neck, it wasn’t as difficult to apply pressure as one might have worried. Evangeline was hardly aware that she was doing it, yet she could feel everything, felt so keenly in tune to her own body as she did it.
It was all so sudden, she could hear herself saying tomorrow morning when everyone crowded around her to console a tear-streaked Evangeline. She was fine at tea last night. But that was the thing about sickness, wasn’t it? It took you eventually, and no one could do anything to stop it.
It would have happened one way or another, Evangeline told herself as she watched Lady Trame’s eyes widen, her mouth opening on a silent gasp, a plea for help, a plea to stop—Evangeline didn’t know, and she didn’t care. She pressed harder, and harder, and harder, and she didn’t even think about stopping, not even once. She could feel the phantoms curling around her bare ankles, urging her on, whispering in her ear to push harder, claim what was hers by right, get some revenge after so many years of being suffocated herself.
It was a cruelness she had never felt before, a bitterness and a rage that swept her up in its embrace and left Evangeline breathless in its wake. But instead of lying motionless on her back like her grandmother’s lifeless body, she had never felt more awake, never been so aware of her own heartbeat. She’d never felt as alive as she did right in that moment.
Even after Lady Trame had stopped breathing, stopped her feeble struggle, Evangeline didn’t unwrap her hands from around the old woman’s neck. She continued pressing down, using every ounce of anger she’d ever felt and channeling it into her iron grip. Only when she felt the phantoms finally recede did she let go with a gasp.
And Evangeline felt free.
It would have happened one way or another, she reminded herself once more. Lady Trame was sick, everyone knew it. It wasn’t a falsehood; the woman’s breathing had become ragged, her face had taken on a sickly sort of pallor, her legs trembled with every step and she needed to grip Evangeline’s arm just to rise from bed. Yes, it would have happened one way or another.
Now that the phantoms had eased their hold on Evangeline, closer than they had ever been before, close enough that she could have reached out and touched one had she not been so consumed by the fury that had driven her actions, she wondered if she could convince herself it was a kindness.
A kindness, yes. Mercy.
Mercy for the woman who had kept Evangeline hidden away from the truth for her entire life. Mercy for the woman who had refused to answer any questions, forbade anyone from ever telling her anything that might give Evangeline some sort of satisfaction. Mercy for the woman who had done nothing but drive away the man she had loved, driven him out of her life and this world, never to be seen or heard from again, never to be touched by Evangeline’s fingers or brought close in her embrace once more. Maybe it hadn’t been a deep love, maybe it had only been superficial, but it had been hers, and her grandmother had taken it away from her.
“Mercy,” Evangeline whispered to herself, tasting the word on her tongue as she walked down the long hallway to her own room.
A surprised laugh jolted out of her lips, catching her off guard. She quickly covered her hand with her mouth, smothering the noise and hiding the smile that had come upon her mouth.
Mercy.
And as Evangeline welcomed sleep, allowed the phantoms to return to her with a ferocity she hadn’t yet experienced, allowed them to invade her dreams and introduce to her a new meaning of the word desire, she knew it hadn’t been mercy.
It had been justice.
Extras | pinterest board
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