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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years

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Written In The Stars XCVII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: THE SEMESTER IS OVER

P.S. I’m thinking of posting the last few chapters all at once next week bc they don’t feel exactly christmas-like lmaoo would you guys like that or should I keep the normal schedule? -Danny

Words: 3,623

Series’ Masterlist

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Listen to: White Stripes -by Hayley Gene Penner

Chapter Thirty-Two: Palpable Memoirs.

Once in front of the Gargoyle, they realized they still had no idea of what the password was.

"Uh- Sherbet lemon?" Harry tried.

The gargoyle stayed in place.

"Okay," said Harry, "Pear Drop. Er — Licorice Wand. Fizzing Whizbee. Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans... oh no, he doesn't like them, does he?" She shook her head. "Oh just open, can't you? We really need to see him, it's urgent!"

Harry kicked it, which she considered stupid since it was made of stone.

"Chocolate Frog!" He grunted, holding his leg to lessen the pain. "Sugar Quill! Cockroach Cluster!"

Suddenly the gargoyle turned.

"Cockroach Cluster?" He widened his eyes. "I was only joking..."

Mel laughed. "It's your bloody luck, Glasses."

They hurried up the stairs, Harry reached the door and was about to open it when Mel pulled him back, asking him to listen.

"Dumbledore, I'm afraid I don't see the connection, don't see it at all!" Cornelius Fudge exclaimed. "Ludo says Bertha's perfectly capable of getting herself lost. I agree we would have expected to have found her by now, but all the same, we've no evidence of foul play, Dumbledore, none at all. As for her disappearance being linked with Barty Crouch's!"

"And what do you think happened to Barty Crouch, Minister?" That one was certainly Moody.

"I see two possibilities, Alastor. Either Crouch has finally cracked — more than likely, I'm sure you'll agree, given his personal history — lost his mind, and gone wandering off some- where —"

"He wandered extremely quickly, if that is the case, Cornelius," said Dumbledore.

"Or else — well... Well, I'll reserve judgment until after I've seen the place where he was found, but you say it was just past the Beauxbatons carriage? Dumbledore, you know what that woman is?"

"I consider her to be a very able headmistress — and an excellent dancer," said Dumbledore quietly.

"Dumbledore, come! Don't you think you might be prejudiced in her favour because of Hagrid? They don't all turn out harmless — if, indeed, you can call Hagrid harmless, with that monster fixation he's got —"

"I no more suspect Madame Maxime than Hagrid. I think it possible that it is you who are prejudiced, Cornelius."

"Should we wait till dinner?" Mel asked anxiously.

Harry was about to reply when Moody spoke up.

"Can we wrap up this discussion?"

"Yes, yes, let's go down to the grounds, then..."

"No, it's not that. It's just that Potter and Miss Dumbledore want a word with you. They're outside the door," The door of the office opened abruptly, Mel jumped away. "Hello," said Moody politely. "Come in, then."

Mel wanted to hide behind Harry, but since she figured it would've looked stupid. She walked directly to the middle of the room.

"Harry!" said Fudge. "Mel! How are you?"

"Fine," Harry said shortly.

"We were just talking about the night when Mr Crouch turned up on the grounds," Fudge continued carefully. "It was you who found him, was it not?"

"Yes," said Harry. "I didn't see Madame Maxime anywhere, though, and she'd have a job hiding, wouldn't she?" He added quickly.

Mel and Dumbledore smiled at Harry. Sometimes she felt amazed at his courage.

"Yes, well," said Fudge, blushing a bit, "we're about to go for a short walk on the grounds if you'll excuse us... perhaps if you just go back to your class —"

"I wanted to talk to you, Professor," Harry said quickly.

Dumbledore looked at both, Mel, although feeling a bit stupid, kept eye contact with the Headmaster and tried to focus her mind on the memory of Harry on the ground, holding his forehead, just to see if her theory of Dumbledore being able to read minds was right.

"Wait here for me," Dumbledore said. "Our examination of the grounds will not take long."

Once the sound of steps was gone and they were alone, Mel sat on one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"Hello, Fawkes," Harry said, smiling at the Phoenix behind the Headmaster's chair. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Hey, don't you want to try the chair?"

"What?" Mel snorted. "I don't have a deathwish, no..."

"But it's not to mock," Harry said in confusion. "I meant to see how you feel, wasn't that what you saw in the mirror when we were in first year? You have a chance to see how it feels!"

"Oh," Mel turned scarlet, "er, maybe later... We should sit down."

The girl guided Harry to the chairs facing the Headmaster's desk and sat down next to him. He stared at her with a curious yet polite expression. It was his soft gaze what gave Mel the sudden urge to offer the world to the boy. The thought scared her, she had no idea how it felt to actually give everything up just to save someone. Her father had done it, yes. Her grandmother did it, her uncle did it as well... but she couldn't promise something like that so lightly! She was too young to give her life away like that, even if it was for her best friend.

She realized that confessing what she'd really seen in the mirror was too much, it would've surely put pressure upon the boy, to know he'd been the thing she'd wished for the most all those years. Instead, she blurted out something else.

"Kiss me."

Harry's eyes widened.

"What?"

Mel cleared her throat, feeling her blush reach her neck.

"I– I'm sorry, that was bold. Didn't mean to make you uncomfort–"

Harry cupped one side of her face so she'd look at him.

"I'll do it," He gave her a small smile. "You just took me by surprise... I'll do it."

He leaned closer, and just as they were about to kiss, something caught his eye.

"What's that?" Harry stood up.

Mel let out the faintest whimper, she quickly looked over her shoulder to follow his gaze.

"What thing?"

"That," He pointed to what looked like a small cabinet, he hesitated for a moment, not knowing what it was inside.

A shallow stone basin lay there, with odd carvings around the edge: runes and symbols that Harry did not recognize. The silvery light was coming from the basin's contents, which were like nothing Harry had ever seen before. He could not tell whether the substance was liquid or gas. It was a bright, whitish silver, and it was moving ceaselessly; the surface of it became ruffled like water beneath wind, and then, like clouds, separated and swirled smoothly. It looked like light made liquid — or like wind made solid — Harry couldn't make up his mind.

He wanted to touch it, to find out what it felt like, but nearly four years' experience of the magical world told him that sticking his hand into a bowl full of some unknown substance was a very stupid thing to do. He therefore pulled his wand out of the inside of his robes, cast a nervous look around the office, looked back at the contents of the basin, and prodded them.

The surface of the silvery stuff inside the basin began to swirl very fast.

"What?" Mel got up as well, standing next to him. "What's..?"

"Dunno," Harry squinted, bending closer to the surface. "There's something..."

"Be careful," Mel put a hand on his shoulder, but this only seemed to encourage him to go forward.

With a final push, Harry held onto the edge of the basin and stayed firmly in place. Mel could see something over his shoulder, but she decided not to get any closer, whatever Harry was doing, it couldn't be all that dangerous, he looked fine, even if he was holding a little tightly to the edge.

She waited a few seconds and suddenly Harry spoke, but it sounded muffled like he was in another room.

"Harry?" Mel reached out to pull him out.

"What are you doing?" A voice came from above.

Mel jumped and looked around frantically.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She finally located the voice: A man in one of the portraits, looking awfully grumpy.

"Sorry. We're just... curious?"

"Curiosity burned the witch, young lady," He retorted sharply.

"I know that," Mel frowned. "But we're not doing anything wrong..."

"You should pull back that boy before he ends up with nightmares."

"What?"

"That thing he's using, that's a Pensieve. Dumbledore was using it before Fudge came in with his weeping, but I assure you, nothing in there will make your friend's life any more pleasant, so you should bring him back."

"What does a Pensieve do?"

"If you don't know that's your problem, just do what I tell you!"

"A Pensieve works to show memories and examine them," A woman said from the portrait on the right. "Your Headmaster pulls a memory out of his mind and then pours it in, to take another look at it, paying more attention to the details."

"I didn't know such thing could be done," Mel said in amazement. "How-?"

"That's none of your business!" The man exclaimed. "Eupraxia, please be kind enough to not go around telling the Headmaster's secrets to a child!"

"That child is a Dumbledore," The woman replied sternly. "She's allowed to ask questions. You're free to ignore her, Phineas, but I certainly won't."

"If anyone cares," a third voice spoke up from Phineas' right. "A Pensieve is not a thing only Headmasters have, anyone can have them, they're hard to find, but–"

"Shut it, Brutus!" Phineas snapped.

The door opened then, and Dumbledore stopped at the scene.

"Dumbledore!" Phineas exclaimed. "Put order here! That boy over there is lurking around, getting his nose where is not–"

"I see, Phineas," Dumbledore interrupted, walking up to Harry. "Don't worry..."

Mel wanted to say something in Harry's defence, but Dumbledore raised a hand to ease her mind.

"Give me a moment," He told her, bending into the Pensieve as well.

She heard him speak just like Harry had done minutes before, then watched as the man grabbed the boy by the arm and gently pulled back as he straightened up. Harry gasped, blinking rapidly.

"Professor– I know I shouldn't've — I didn't mean — the cabinet door was sort of open and —"

"I quite understand," Dumbledore grabbed the basin and carried it over to his desk, the children followed him and sat on the two opposite chairs.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"This? It is called a Pensieve," said Dumbledore. "I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind."

"Er," Harry stammered.

"At these times," Dumbledore nodded, "I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand when they are in this form."

"You mean... that stuff's your thoughts?" Harry stared at the liquid looking material.

"Certainly," Dumbledore confirmed. "Let me show you."

Dumbledore drew his wand out of the inside of his robes and placed the tip into his own silvery hair, near his temple. When he took the wand away, hair seemed to be clinging to it — but then Harry saw that it was in fact a glistening strand of the same strange silvery-white substance that filled the Pensieve. Dumbledore added this fresh thought to the basin, and Harry, astonished, saw his own face swimming around the surface of the bowl. Dumbledore placed his long hands on either side of the Pensieve and swirled it, rather as a gold prospector would pan for fragments of gold... and Harry saw his own face change smoothly into Snape's, who opened his mouth and spoke to the ceiling, his voice echoing slightly.

"It's coming back... Karkaroff's too... stronger and clearer than ever..."

"A connection I could have made without assistance," Dumbledore put it away, "but never mind. I was using the Pensieve when Mr Fudge arrived for our meeting and put it away rather hastily. Undoubtedly I did not fasten the cabinet door properly. Naturally, it would have attracted your attention."

"I'm sorry," Harry grumbled.

"Curiosity is not a sin," He said, looking intently at Phineas. "But we should exercise caution with our curiosity... yes, indeed..." He swirled the tip of his wand inside, a figure rose out of it, it was a girl.

"He put a hex on me, Professor Dumbledore," She was saying. "And I was only teasing him, sir. I only said I'd seen him kissing Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday..."

"But why, Bertha," said Dumbledore sadly, "why did you have to follow him in the first place?"

"Bertha?" Harry and Mel asked at the same time.

"Is that — was that Bertha Jorkins?"

"Yes... That was Bertha as I remember her at school."

"Wonderful," Mel peered down at it with excitement, she realized what she'd said and leaned back, clearing her throat. "I- er, meant the Pensieve, you know..."

"So, kids," Dumbledore continued calmly. "Before you got lost in my thoughts, you wanted to tell me something."

"Yes," said Harry. "Professor — I was in Divination just now, and — er — I fell asleep."

"Quite understandable. Continue."

"Well, I had a dream," said Harry. "A dream about Lord Voldemort. He was torturing Wormtail... you know who Wormtail —"

"I do know," said Dumbledore. "Please continue."

"Voldemort got a letter from an owl. He said something like, Wormtail's blunder had been repaired. He said someone was dead. Then he said, Wormtail wouldn't be fed to the snake — there was a snake beside his chair. He said — he said he'd be feeding me to it, instead. Then he did the Cruciatus Curse on Wormtail — and my scar hurt... It woke me up, it hurt so badly... Er — that's all," said Harry clumsily.

"I see... I see. Now, has your scar hurt at any other time this year, excepting the time it woke you up over the summer?"

"No, I — how did you know it woke me up over the summer?" said Harry.

"You are not Sirius's only correspondent," said Dumbledore. "I have also been in contact with him ever since he left Hogwarts last year. It was I who suggested the mountainside cave as the safest place for him to stay," He looked at Mel. "As well as the one who recommended him not to take your mother's offer, it's too dangerous to have him at plain sight."

Dumbledore got up. He kept adding thoughts into the basin from time to time, while Mel kept revolving in her own thoughts.

Snape seemed to be informing Dumbledore about what Karkaroff was telling him so that had to be the reason why Snape wasn't one of Dumbledore's worries, Bertha disappeared at the start of the summer, and Harry kept having dreams about Voldemort assuring others Harry'd be dead soon... it didn't make sense at all, but still... she had to be missing something... she had to be overlooking at something important, something maybe Harry had forgotten to mention...

"Professor?" Harry asked, bringing both Dumbledores back from their heads.

"My apologies," The older said quietly, sitting back.

"D'you — d'you know why my scar's hurting me?"

"I have a theory, no more than that..." He started carefully. Mel noticed he was speaking with the same hesitant tone he used when telling her about Ariana. "It is my belief that your scar hurts both when Lord Voldemort is near you, and when he is feeling a particularly strong surge of hatred."

"But... why?"

"Because you and he are connected by the curse that failed," said Dumbledore. "That is no ordinary scar."

"So you think... that dream... did it really happen?"

"It is possible. I would say — probable. Harry — did you see Voldemort?"

"No. Just the back of his chair. But — there wouldn't have been anything to see, would there? I mean, he hasn't got a body, has he? But... but then how could he have held the wand?" Harry wondered out loud.

"How indeed?" muttered Dumbledore.

"How indeed..." Mel repeated, lost in thought.

For some reason, Erick's words came back to her stronger than ever.

'I know you want nothing more but to live in a fairytale, but all we got is this...'

Was it? A world in which people like Voldemort could go back to life and people like her father had no second chances? If that was truly the case, she didn't think she'd be stepping out of her soft and gentle point of view any time soon.

"Professor," Harry said, "do you think he's getting stronger?"

"Voldemort?" Dumbledore looked intently at the boy. "Once again, Harry, I can only give you my suspicions. The years of Voldemort's ascent to power were marked with disappearances. Bertha Jorkins has vanished without a trace in the place where Voldemort was certainly known to be last. Mr Crouch too has disappeared... within these very grounds. And there was a third disappearance, one which the Ministry, I regret to say, do not consider of any importance, for it concerns a Muggle. His name was Frank Bryce, he lived in the village where Voldemort's father grew up, and he has not been seen since last August. You see, I read the Muggle newspapers, unlike most of my Ministry friends. These disappearances seem to me to be linked. The Ministry disagrees — as you may have heard, while waiting outside my office."

So there it was, at least that part was cleared. She felt a sudden frustration when thinking of all the things she didn't know, either because she was too young or she hadn't asked the right questions, either way, she couldn't do anything with so many holes in her story, and she would do anything to fix that.

"Professor?" Harry spoke again.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Er... could I ask you about... that court thing I was in... in the Pensieve?"

"You could. I attended it many times, but some trials come back to me more clearly than others... particularly now..."

"You know — you know the trial you found me in? The one with Crouch's son? Well... were they talking about Neville's parents?"

"What?" Mel asked abruptly. Dumbledore stared at both of them grimly.

"Has Neville never told you why he has been brought up by his grandmother?"

"No," Harry turned to her. "Mel mentioned it once, about how odd it was, how he'd never mentioned his parents... she said it after the first lesson we had with Moody when he showed us..."

"When he showed us the Unforgivable Curses," Mel finished.

"Yes, they were talking about Neville's parents," said Dumbledore. "His father, Frank, was an Auror just like Professor Moody, and much like your own father, Mel. He and his wife were tortured for information about Voldemort's whereabouts after he lost his powers, as you heard."

"So they're dead?"

"No," Dumbledore's voice grew bitter. "They are insane. They are both in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. I believe Neville visits them, with his grandmother, during the holidays. They do not recognize him."

Something in her stomach dropped and knocked the wind out of her lungs. Tortured, surely the same way Moody had shown them with that spider...

"The Longbottoms were very popular," Dumbledore explained. "The attacks on them came after Voldemort's fall from power, just when everyone thought they were safe. Those attacks caused a wave of fury such as I have never known. The Ministry was under great pressure to catch those who had done it. Unfortunately, the Longbottoms' evidence was — given their condition — none too reliable."

"Then Mr Crouch's son might not have been involved?" Harry asked in horror.

"As to that, I have no idea," Dumbledore replied sadly.

"Er, Mr Bagman..."

"...has never been accused of any Dark activity since," said Dumbledore calmly.

"Right... And... er..." The children were both staring at the Pensieve, which was showing Snape's face on its surface.

"No more has Professor Snape," he said.

"What made you think he'd really stopped supporting Voldemort, Professor?" Harry blurted out.

Dumbledore and Harry locked eyes for a few seconds, it felt weird to stay seated in the middle of it, quietly observing. "That, Harry, is a matter between Professor Snape and myself."

Harry stood up, Mel did as well.

"Children," both of them stopped at the door. "Please do not speak about Neville's parents to anybody else. He has the right to let people know when he is ready."

"Yes, Professor," they said in unison.

"And —" The light of the Pensieve gave Dumbledore a much more ghostly look. "Good luck with the third task."

Harry nodded, walking out of the office. Mel stayed in her place, thinking about her dad and Neville's and how they probably knew each other, and how Emily probably heard about their attacks. She thought of this until Dumbledore shook his head.

"When you look at all together it becomes unbearable," He sighed tiredly. "That's when a Pensieve's useful, so you can keep a hopeful standpoint, even in the middle of a poorly lit view."

"How did you..?"

"I believe you are under the impression that I'd be able to see, without words, what you were trying to communicate... Was I wrong?"

She blushed. "I was trying to see..."

"If I was able to see your thoughts," Dumbledore smiled. "It's quite more complicated than that, but certainly that's the easiest way to put it –and yes," He added when he saw her expression. "With a little effort, you can learn that too."

"Will you teach me?" She asked.

Dumbledore's eyes shone knowingly.

"Patience, dear girl."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world

#twoidiots writing #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #hp fanfic #WITT fic

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mingkii · 3 years

Text

—get to know me!

Tagged by @skrtbabe <3

When is your birthday?

18th of January 🙇🏽‍♀️

what is your favorite color?

It changes a lot so idk anymore hhh😭

what's your lucky number?

I don't really know? I don't think i have one

do you have any pets?

I am a cat parent of 3 😼 i also have a dog, and another cat and like a dozen of cats that lives outdoors, they are family pets.

how tall are you?

I honestly forgot, i think 164cm? Around 5'4-5'5

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

Five.....i need new shoes but im broke💔

favorite song?

I can't pick a fave but rn it's ride home by ben&ben

favorite movie?

This sometimes changes but i always have the greatest showman and all 3 movies of httyd at the very top of the list.

what would be your ideal partner?

I would say someone similar to me. Someone i could relate to. Also someone with a sense of humor, ion wanna tell a joke and having to explain the joke if they don't get it😭💀

do you want children?

Absolutely not— it the far far future maybe, i would want to adopt instead.

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

what color socks are you wearing?

Transparent/j i ain't wearing any rn skjdjdkd

bath or shower?

Shower 🚿

favorite type of music?

Pop, rmb, bands, my music taste is pretty diverse i gotta say

how many pillows do you sleep with?

3, but sometimes i wake up with 4 😃

which position do you sleep in?

My left side (with my back facing the wall), sometimes on my right if i'm feeling risky😩

what you don't like when you're sleeping?

Loud noises, i really despise being woken up by irritating and loud noises

what do you have for breakfast?

Sometimes if my sleep schedule gets fucked i sleep through breakfast but i normally eat rice and some side dishes in the morning

have you ever tried archery?

No but i want to

favorite fruit?

Grapes, pears, and dragon fruits

favorite swear word?

Bitch— LOL my friends used to tease me cause i use bitch in almost every sentence.

do you have any scars?

I have really sensitive skin so a lot on my arms and legs

are you a good liar?

Yeah💞

what's your personality type?

Infp-t

what's your favorite type of girl?

Uh? Someone that is not a pick me girl

innie or outie?

🤔

left or right handed?

Ambidextrous

favorite food?

Korean corndogs, i love it sm i am craving it rn. Also, sushi, pasta, potatoes, and bread.

are you clean or messy?

A little bit of both, i am pretty organized but i still manage to mess it up afterwards

favorite foreign food?

All of it, i really like food lol

how long does it take for you to get ready?

I take ages in the shower but after that i get dressed pretty quickly

most used phrase?

"LMFAOOO" & Random keyboard smashes

are you a good singer?

Idk, i've been told i sound alright but my parents say i sound like a dying goat

do you sing to yourself?

I mean, don't we all?

biggest fear?

Losing my friends😩🤞

do you like long or short hair?

S h o r t

are you into gossips?

👀🖐️

extrovert or introvert?

I could say i am a bit of an ambivert but i am more of an introvert

favorite school subject?

History

what makes you nervous?

School presentations, reciting infront of the class, and public speaking.

who was your first real crush?

In 3rd grade???? I think. He was a classmate of mine and i thought he was really cute

how many piercings do you have?

2, one in each ear

how fast can you run?

A little above average, but i am not very athletic ksjdjkd

what color is your hair?

Black

what color are your eyes?

Dark brown

what makes you angry?

It's very specific but I don't get angry often.

do you like your name?

Kinda? It's alright, i still prefer my nickname cause people often misspell and mispronounce my name

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

Either

what are your weaknesses?

Sitting still (is that a weakness? Idk) and my insecurities

what are your strengths?

That i work well under pressure

what is the color of your bedspread?

Dark brown

color of your room?

Off white? Like a super super light beige

Tagging; @moonieric, @fluttering-tbz, and anyone that wants to do this—

#🦊 tag games

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artzypaw · 5 years

Note

I don't wanna be annoying or anything, so if you don't wanna reply to this, you absolutely do not have to. I saw your vent drawings of Katsuki and Kiri crying, and your tag of insecurities and stuff, and I was just wondering if you're doing alright? It might sound weird from a random stranger, but I just wanna make sure, ya'know? I'd hate to think someone with such amazing talent and skill at drawing is thinking badly of themselves.

You’re not being annoying whatsoever I swear I greatly appreciate asks !!

And I’m okay— just , uh it’s a long story? Or explanation?? I’m not necessarily hating on myself but it’s also kinda what insecurities are?? Im explaining it in more detail below the cut (im responding from my phone so I have no clue how tf to insert a cut page so just after the dashes 😂😭) but the short is that I’ll be okay, it’s going to pass.

————

So,, um - like I’m insecure about a lot of things, and I’ve gotten better and accepting my self worth Over the years a whole lot, really , but some days I just feel like crawling under my blankets and hiding from everything.

And rn I’m just dealing with the biggest one?? The only one that really upsets me and just makes me emotionally exhausted. Like, sometimes it’s just so hard to go outside knowing it’s blaringly obvious.

So I’ve always had acne. Everyone’s’ is different and I’m a pasty ass white bitch so if I get red I’m like red. I can’t hide it and a lot of the time they’re inflamed and or scabbed and it’s not subtle at all. I’ve had it ever since puberty hit and I’ve come to just accept it’s a thing , but it really frustrates me to no end because it likes to be a little shit and come in waves. I’ll be relatively okay one day, and then the next I have like 20 large ass splotches on the most exposed parts of my face. Sure I have acne on my arms and I’ll get it on my back if I get hot but it’s most prominent on my face.

I swear I feel like I’ve tried everything to get rid of it, or at least subdue it to a tamed amount to where I’m not constantly having to hide my face inconspicuously , but it always comes back. I figured out a couple years ago my birth control is a large source— and it’s from the excess hormones and i haven’t had time to maybe check and see if I could maybe find a supplement birth control that might react differently,, but yeah I recently got back on my birth control because I missed a month (forgot to order my refill lmao whoops) and it’s like, spontaneously brought all these blemishes again that I haven’t had for a solid month.

But I always thought that it’d go away with age. Lots of ppl I’ve met and have read of had their acne grown out by the time they were adults and I’m not quite in my 20’s but I’m really fucking close and it’s legit no different from when I was in middle school😪.

It upsets me that I’ll be on my acne medication routine, and it’s almost as if it’s not worth doing it bc there’s no results. I’ve been on it for 3 months and the only noticeable changes have been the one month I forgot to order my pills.

I mean to an extent Idgaf about my acne. It’s life and I’m just trying to live it but I don’t want ppl to have to look at it too. Idk if it’s bc I’m a people pleaser but honestly I find myself more concerned with the wellbeing of others before I do myself. I don’t want to inconconveinience ppl with having to talk to me and look at the mess on my face I have no control over. I don’t wear makeup, the most you’ll catch me wearing is mascara and like maybe some eyeshadow but it’s all natural and you probably couldn’t even tell I had it on. My skin is extra fucking oily too so it wouldn’t last anyways.

Idk, sometimes I’m tired. Uh, like yeah I’m always tired sleep wise lmaoo but I’m also tired of my stupid ass insecurities and anxiety and whatever else likes to hang on my shoulders. So that’s really why I’m upset.

I’m okay. I’m used to it I’m just pent up?? I’m really thankful for your support and concern it means a lot to me that you’re asking 💖. My vent drawing I don’t normally share, they’re either really bad and I don’t like them or they kinda just don’t make sense so I’ll keep them in my folders , or even I just won’t finish them , but idk I was okay posting those even if there are parts I wished I’d done differently.

Haha um but each photo kinda represented each of my emotions?? Idk but like Kiri’s tired and upset, and is reaching out for comfort and the comfort is covering his face? It’s kinda dumb lmao but it just ended up like that. Baku’s frustrated and also timid in the way he’s crawling in on himself and then I also put my while insecurity of my face into it where he’s covering his own.

So yeah haha that’s the explanation ,,

Thanks again for the support, I’m going to be okay 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

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changji · 5 years

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Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

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honorguk · 6 years

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Dating » Lucas (NCT)

.•° ✿ °•. navigation

-- What it’s like to date Lucas from NCT (based on my assumptions). Enjoy!

»•» OVERALL:

- lucas is a loud dork so when i say that he is even more of a mess with u i mEAn it

- he’s like hella caring too so if he suspects that you’re feeling down even the tiniest bit he instantly forgets everything’s he’s doing - or supposed to be doing - and turns his attention onto you. unless he’s the one you’re mad at but that’s a different story

- a lil cringy and shows off his girlfriend a lil too much but as if you’d complain

- but he’ll also show himself off and make you brag about him and his biceps but tbh you how can u not

- doesn’t understands periods but still suggests he goes out and buys u things like food and pads. tampons still scare him.

- he also googles on what will help cramps and even though you already know you still thank him for it

- randomly speaks in korean? and cantonese? as if you understand?

- he also tries pronouncing the words with an english accent in hopes of u getting it

- “i’m a multilingual king, babe”

- will make fun of your height no matter how short or tall (but u know he’s joking cos he’d never be an ass on purpose huehue)

- giggly boy

- “babe.”

- good morning texts!! he even like tracks down your time when he’s away or you’re away or if the timezones are plainly different uwu

- hand literally the size of your head

- “whenever you cup my face i feel darkness engulfing me”

- “big hands... you know what they say.”

- “lucas no that’s not even how it goes”

- u own a collection of his shirts that he keeps growing out of

- so chessy! but he’s so smooth! especially when you make self-deprecating jokes

- “dude i’m such trash”

- “then let me take you out ;)”

- you’ll be constantly reassured that you’re his world and that he loves you

- he makes u do cheesy romantic stuff and tbh it doesn’t turn out to be as bad as you think (most of the time)

- matching lockscreens

- hate will often bring him down but knowing there’s someone like you by his side (as well as the members obvs) he slowly begins to ignore the messages. he’s a strong individual and with a lil help gaining his confidence from his friends, family, and partner he knows how to turn that frown upside down

- will always cuddle and if you’re both on the couch his head will find a way onto your lap

- loves when you play with his hair and loves playing with yours right back

- couple outfits!! over-the-top matching but at least it shows that you’re each other’s

- he said “i love you” first

- however cringy or weird this kid is, he still remains your best friend and you his.

»•» DATES YOU GO ON:

- amusement parks! this big child will go bloody bananas over some swinging boat ride and literally scream the whole time hE IS 7 DO U UNDERSTAND-

- he drags you onto roller coasters which i would’t say you’re very fond of but at least you get to slyly hold his hand uwu

- but then again he also doesn’t mind taking you to some park for a quiet walk and maybe a coffee shop after

- he’s a very chill guy if i’m honest he don’t mind he don’t judge

- respectful of your choices too

- cuddle dates are also an option

»•» PET NAMES:

- “babe”

- “sweet”

- “my love”

- “my lady” (i’m sorry)

- pretty much anything else that comes to mind tbh but those are his main ones

- also comes up with weird shit too like ur waking up and all of a sudden you’re being called an egg mcmuffin

»•» WHILE ON TOUR:

- tbh this boy whiny all the members are begging you to call him so he stops complaining that he’s away from his egg mcmuffin

- constant texts

- sends memes (when he finally gets them cos he is also 80)

- when he doesn’t have access to his phone he asks for mark’s or whoever is around bc he can’t cope

- again,, good morning/good nigh texts

- when on call at night he waits for you to fall asleep then ends the call

»•» ARGUING/MAKING UP:

- he can’t

- literally like you guys don’t really fights only when like when he was being dumb and shoved a fork into the toaster bc the bread wasn’t popping out and you were concerned for his safety

- at first he tries making jokes but then he realizes that you’re genuinely upset and his dorky demeanor will fade

- he prefers to not yell or break anything because that’s just not the way he rolls

- he doesn’t touch you (he’s big on personal space) and when he realizes he’s wrong he won’t look at you as he’s a guilty pup

- but if he’s confident that he’s right, he’ll stand his ground and as calmly as possible try to explain his point of view

- sometimes it does get heated and he raises his voice, but he’s very conscious when he does it, so if he yells, it’s for a reason

- you always make up - he never goes to bed (and doesn’t let you either) until you guys are completely off each other’s dick

- sometimes you end up BEING on each other’s dick tho (reader in this case isn’t limited to female)

- so spEAKING OF DICK-

»•» NSFW:

- tbh i’ll probably be doing a nsfw a-z on lucas so here’s a summary

- loud! just as he is outside of the bedroom, he is inside

- is so up to trying new things and toys and positions but also respects you and your opinion so if you say vanilla ya’ll go vanilla

- won’t degrade,, he can’t do that to his egg mcmuffin queen

- not acc that kinky?? mostly because he was a virgin before you met lmaoo

- excited!! he’s always hyper even if it’s like hella romantic and sensual he hyper

- needs your guidance sometimes so he likes you on top cos he wants you to feel good first his own pleasure is nowhere as important

- repeatedly say that he loves you and likes it when you repeat it back (you always do)

right folks thanks for reading i really appreciate it i know this was messy and very casual but tbh i only properly write when it’s a book and yall know ya girl aint that commited sooo

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zefyre · 8 years

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i’m back! ~ ish

i just wanna preface with thanking you guys for waiting and i’m so sorry that i was gone for so long!

this is v. long and you don’t need to read this unless you’re curious about why it took this long for me to come back and wanna listen to me rant lol, otherwise the short vers. is in the tags!

i have tried to write this like multiple times before giving up over the last month or so, but i’m a slow writer and every time i tried something inevitably came up 😒

like literally, lmaoo, 2016 was doing double time trying to get in some last shots i swear, one thing after a fucking nother and for a while after the new year rolled in it seemed like all was good??? the worst has came and went and i could relax now?? but no lmao apparently i’m not that lucky

so to sum up:

pushed weaning apollo from 4wks to 5wks just to be safe, then 6wks bc the vet said so, then 7wks bc his deworming gave him diarrhea and weaning at the time would just make it worse and his poor lil booty needed some rest

first attempt at weaning him was a disaster that ended with blood, vomit, and an immediate return to milk on apollo’s part and panic and near tears on mine as it turned out what i thought was weaning diarrhea was most certainly NOT, but an intolerance to something in the iams kitten wet food i was transitioning him to

like that terrifying week will now be a haunting reminder of why i am never taking in a kitten that young in ever again jesus fuck.

second attempt at weaning him, however, went rather smoothly in comparison. tg for fancy feast

literally not even a week later tho toby sneaks out and picks out a fight w/ apollo’s mom in the backyard. came out w/ only a tiny a scratch on his ear, probably not even from the mama cat but from trying to escape my harpy neighbor screaming at him to get outta her yard. in any case, it prompted a vet visit to update his shots since he’s been trying to get out a lot recently, and as it turns out he’s positive for FIV aka feline AIDS

a few days after christmas, discovered a leak behind the wall under the sink which meant tearing it out and also removing the sink to even get to it

then literally right on new year’s eve day, the final day of 2016, the 31st of december, boo boo’s uti returned with a fucking vengeance. despite catching it early, the antibiotic shot didn’t work this time so we had to go back early in the morning after new year’s bc my poor cat couldn’t piss and was screaming in pain bc of it – fortunately some meds did the trick so we avoided surgery this time (tg bc my ass was holding back the urge to start crying since dear old dad decided the ride over to the vet was best spent bringing up euthanization if this was just gonna keep happening (it was the fourth now, and the first two times did require surgery so i get it but god he didn’t need to drop it when we were a few mins from the vet christ.) but all is well and now he’s on an expensive prescription diet to keep his ut in check.

he’s worth it tho

toby’s food pickiness is acting up again, and lily is starting to dislike her own food, so now i’m reluctantly considering switching food brands which. lmao. god.

and now last saturday we took apollo in for his second round of shots/tests only to find out he has coccidia which is easy enough to treat but now we’ve gotta take ALL the cats in to get tested bc he could have passed it since they p much use the same boxes like lmaoo srsly??

we’ve been to the vet a couple times this week now to get them tested -- zeus and boo boo were cleared on monday so phew, but they couldn’t get a sample outta toby when we brought him in today so now i’ve got to keep an eye on him so when he takes a shit i can get it myself to bring back. lovely.

then we gotta bring apollo back to see if he’s cleared next week, then maybe toby if he caught it (which, with my apparent shitty ass luck so far, at least ONE cat has to have catched it, but. here’s to hoping), then apollo back again to get his last shot and neutered

the ppl at the vet are literally cracking jokes that we should just live there we’re coming so much, i’m not kidding. one of the techs admitted thinking we actually had like ten cats or smth omg

i am fucking Tired™ y’all.

so tired.

but. in the end, they’re fine, i’m fine, we’re all fine and tbh for that i’m so grateful and relieved. trying to look on the bright side of things lol. i kept holding off coming back bc it felt like smth else was gonna happen (and look i was right lmao) and i didn’t want to say i’m back if i was just going to leave (again) but its been so long so.

here i am! and again, sorry for taking so long!!! i’ll try filling up my queue again and replying to messages in a bit!

#you guys can read this if you wanna see what's been going on #but short version:#lots of shit happened #things have cooled down #if only slightly #and i'm gonna slowly come back #try filling up my queue a bit to get things rolling #and then start on answering the asks that's been sitting in my inbox #rain rambles

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