#i tried to explain tma to my best friend yesterday

[snaggletoothedbastard]

i did this a while ago and now i'm redoing it from a new perspective

rating the tma fears on how likely i am to serve them

(not how much they scare me but how much i vibe with them)

the eye

i do like to Know Things

the idea of knowing Everything about someone though......and the idea of someone knowing Everything about me........nahh i could not handle that shit

telepathy sounds appealing because i very rarely understand people and i'm always paranoid about the idea of being lied to HOWEVER i would feel way too guilty about invading people's privacy

plus all that Knowledge sounds overwhelming

3/10

the stranger

the stranger has a weird thing about skin

i hate skin it's gross and uncomfortable (i have eczema and sensory issues <3)

i find the uncanny valley rather terrifying but i also feel like i exist in the uncanny valley because i'm autistic and regularly feel like a Thing pretending to be a person so i do kinda vibe with that

i think i'd get on well with the anatomy students honestly

6/10

the corruption

going back to the subject of skin, jane prentiss' statement fucks me up because the whole thing about itching is Too Relatable

eczema genuinely feels like there's something crawling around under my skin sometimes

i don't really vibe with bugs though

i do want to be consumed by what loves me

5/10

the desolation

honestly this seems like one of the most fun fears

you just set fire to things

watching things burn is strangely satisfying

the cult of the lightless flame are fucking pretentious though, i wouldn't join them

8/10

the hunt

i hate being chased and i hate chasing things

i do like to bite things though

1/10

the vast

this is the most chill fear i think

but i don't think i would get yoinked by it because i don't do much stuff that involves heights

and when i do i don't particularly enjoy it

it's not my biggest fear though.......i'm kind of indifferent to be honest

1/10

the dark

i am scared shitless of the dark

i have visual snow and sometimes it makes me see shapes in the dark and that freaks me the fuck out

i am an adult and i still sleep with a nightlight fuck you

1/10

the lonely

the lonely fucks me up especially right now because i'm currently in a state of self-loathing and feeling like i'm too different from everyone to connect to them and that is a very lonely feeling and i despise it

peter lukas can get fucked

i want this fear to stay the fuck away from me and i would actively avoid it if it was real but i'm so messed up at the moment that it might overpower me

4/10

the slaughter

i often want to fight someone but no-one will fight me because i'm small and weak and i have sensory issues and i will scream if someone touches my shoulders

i think i like the idea of fighting because i love deep pressure so if i was wrestling someone and they just like pinned me down i would probably be fine with that

and i know getting stabbed or cut or shot would hurt like hell but there's something weirdly enticing about it.........jesus christ i'm not okay

i am also unfortunately not very good at managing anger. i'm getting better but it's still hard. i tend to become self-destructive when i'm angry rather than other-people-destructive

7/10

the extinction

nope

1/10

the end

i still fear death

i fear other people's deaths more than my own

especially because my best friend has been slapped in the face by his own mortality several times and sometimes jokes about it and every time he does i'm just like "dude please don't die"

my obsession with skeletons and being a skeleton has helped me feel more calm about death though because when i die and my flesh decomposes i'll be a skeleton and that's what i want

2/10

the flesh

please let me fuck up my body with no consequences pleeeease

if i can't be a skeleton i want to be the most disturbing creature imaginable

i mean the idea of being bred for meat is obviously terrifying

but the Vibes.......this fear could have been so good for exploring gender and disability and i'm a little sad they didn't do that but i still like it

9/10

the spiral

i am not a who, archivist, i am a what

i'm already insane, the spiral would just make the insanity sexy

i'm not a very good liar but no-one's perfect

i am incomprehensible and mentally unwell and if the spiral takes away the ability to feel shame about that then sign me the fuck up

10/10

the web

i could manipulate people if i really wanted to

i say, having never actually tried

i'm not a fan of spiders

i am a control freak but i generally just like to be in control of myself, like i hate being told what to do but i also hate telling other people what to do y'know?

4/10