#i tried to draw rama a little older and in new clothes

[jellyfish-dearest]

more women!! i love women🥰

as they do too, im sure 👀

[pratigyakrishnaki]

Urmila’s Duty: Cruel and Unyielding

A/N: I know, I know. Y’all are gasping. “Wow, how much writing is she giving us?” LMAO! This (besides my Ganesha headcanons which are coming!) will probably be the last thing I post in terms of my writing for a while. I’ll be very busy with school so we’ll be back to my regularly scheduled queue. But I do hope you enjoy this. It’s a long (and sad) one! Crossposted to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137888

Hindu Mytho Event: Day 9 Ramayana

“Well, tell him I’m going too and that’s final. If you go, then all four of us go.” She threw an armful of saris into the trunk in anger, pacing back and forth as she ranted. Sita sat quietly and carefully pulled each garment back out of the trunk, folding it neatly and placing it aside. “Urmila, don’t be like this. It’s my duty to go once I am married to whoever succeeds in the challenge. In the same way it’ll be your turn soon.”

Urmila whirled around from the almirah, eyes flashing, “Don’t you start about duty, Didi. You have a duty to me too! And to Mandvi and Shrutakirti! You don’t think they’re packing right now?” She waved her arm in anger, “I don’t care what Pitaji says, I’m coming with you and that’s final.” 

Sita smiled softly, finding humor in her younger sister’s tantrum and stood up, picking her way around the strewn jewelry in the messy room. 

She threw her arms around her sister, drawing her in for a hug, “Urmiiii-“ 

“Don’t you Urmi me, Didi!” Urmila pushed her way out of Sita’s embrace. “It’s not my fault you won’t let me come with you.” With a huff she sat down on the bed. 

Sita’s brows furrowed as she followed Urmila and took a seat next to her, “what do you mean?”

Urmila threw herself down onto the mattress, hair fanning around her prettily, “Look Didi. It’s not my fault you’re a scaredy cat.” 

This elicited a gasp from the older woman, “How dare you!”

“I’m not lying! You met Rama, you liked Rama, your heart is thinking of Rama. But still you won’t say a word to Pitaji! If that’s not a scaredy cat, I don’t know what is.”

“Psh, you just want me to talk to Pitaji about Rama because of his brothers!” Sita raised her brow and examined her nails at the exclamation from her sister.

Urmila sat up quickly, “That’s not true!”

“I saw you at Vishwamitra’s ashram, all moony eyed over... what did you call him? Oh yes, Rajkumarrrrr Lakshmannnn.” Sita smirked, side eyeing Urmila’s astounded expression. 

“Didi I did NOT!”

“Yes you did!”

“No! I didn’t! You’re just projecting because you probably did the same with Rama!” Urmila retorted quickly, her temper riling up.

“It wasn’t me who called him, and I quote, Priye Rajkumarrr!” Sita’s eyes crinkled as she burst into giggles at Urmila’s offended face.

“Okay fine! I did! I do like him!” Urmila exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “Didi, think about it. It’s perfect: they’re four and we’re four! Wouldn’t it be great!” Urmila’s eyes turned dreamy as she fell back onto the bed, thinking about her future with the Prince. 

“But you won’t do anything about it! So now I am definitely coming with you wherever you go!” Urmila poked her finger into Sita’s side, chuckling when the elder squirmed away.

Sita rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Who I get married to is not for me to decide! The bow will decide and it’s my duty to follow it! That’s final! Now get up!” She swatted at Urmila’s head and stood up, gesturing to the room in shambles around her, “and clean this mess!” 

Sita left the room, chuckling good-naturedly, while Urmila, still lying on the bed, began to muse. She hated that word: duty. Her duty was to herself, and to her family. That was it. She’d gladly leave the worldly duty for Sita Didi. Urmila didn’t need to worry, though. She hated being left behind, and maybe, if they played their cards right and God was on her side, she wouldn’t be. Duty be damned.

But fate is a funny thing. Urmila definitely wasn’t left behind when getting married; with God, luck, and a little bit of trickery, she had found her Rajkumar Lakshman. It was vivid to her, her wedding, the travel home, and the night he had asked her for a promise: to allow him to serve his brother. Vivid because it had only been a year - not even, but now, in just one dark, dark night, everything had changed. She wanted to shake the old her; she wanted to slap some sense into the old Urmila: she was so naive. 

But how could she have known that in her haste to not be forgotten, she would be in the same position again. This time, though, the fight was to stay with her beloved. Whatever he said, she would not be left behind. 

“Arya, I don’t care what you say. I’m coming with you!” She argued, ignoring the waver in her voice and the tears streaming down her face.

“Urmila please...” Lakshman stood helplessly, holding his hands out awkwardly. She didn’t know if they were put out to stop her or protect himself. But she would not be swayed.

“No. It hasn’t even been a year! Not a full year! And you want to leave? Without me? No. It’s not happening.” She swiped roughly at the tears streaming down her face, but they wouldn’t stop. How could they when her heart was breaking right in front of her?

“Urmila, he’s my brother!” He gestured helplessly.

“So? I’m your wife! I’m not stopping you from going, but you are not going without me and that’s final.” She wrenched open the almirah, and haphazardly grabbed a bunch of saris. 

Lakshman watched her march over, saris in hand and fling them onto the bed, still angrily muttering about how she would be damned if he left her behind. 

“Look Urmi-“ Lakshman cleared his throat, hoping the pet name would pacify her. 

But, he was proven very wrong when she spun around, eyes flashing angrily.

 “No. I am not your Urmi right now. I am your wife Urmila of the Raghuvansh household,” she marched up to him until she was a hairs breadth away from him. He smelled heavenly, like sandalwood, and her heart broke further in fear that she would never smell that scent again, “and you will not leave me behind.” 

“Urmila! You don’t understand!” Lakshman stepped away from her, frustratedly carding his hair with his fingers.

“What don’t I understand? Make me understand then!”

“I need to be with him!”

“Then go naa! I’m not stopping you! I’m just coming with you!”

“No! I can’t afford any distractions!” As the words left his mouth, he winced, “No wait that’s not what I—” 

“A distraction? Are you calling me a distraction?” Urmila’s anger turned to white hot fury.

“No I—"

“How dare you! I haven’t been in your way once since I came here! Not once!” She shoved a finger into his chest. “I have behaved like an ideal wife! Respectful and loving, and this is how you treat me?”

“Urmila! That’s not what I mean!” Seeing his wife’s rage, Lakshman’s anger ignited, “Listen to me!”

“No! I don’t even want to LOOK at you.”

She turned around and threw open her trunk, shoving sari after sari into it. At any other time, she would have laughed, the scene seemed like déjà vu to a year ago. But this time it was different. So very different.

As she tossed clothes, Lakshman clutched at his hair in frustration, tugging hard. His frustration grew, blowing up like a balloon about to pop. And then, pop it did. He muttered words that made her blood run cold, shocking her still. “I shouldn’t have even woken you. I should’ve left when I had the chance.” 

She froze. Jaw dropped at the jarring blow. The words ringing in her ears, almost not registering. He would what? No he… He wouldn’t… Would he? 

She crumpled to the floor, her knees buckling when she registered the words that tore her heart into shreds, “You- you would’ve left me? Just like that? Without even saying goodbye?” She buried her face into her hands, sobs tearing through her throat, hysteria taking over as she lost control. He was leaving her. 

Seeing her fall, Lakshman’s eyes quickly widened, “Urmila!” He raced over, catching her in his arms, “Are you okay?”

For a moment she was petrified, jaw open in a silent scream, face still in her hands. He shook her again, pulling her out of her stupor. “Urmila! Are. You. Okay?”

She came to, and shook her head, still not showing her face. 

“Look at me.” He held her shoulders firmly, squeezing to keep her with him.

She looked up from her hands, face stained with tears and fixed him with a deadpan look. “No.”

Despite the situation, a laugh gurgled in Lakshman’s throat, but it vanished as quickly as it came when sobs overtook his wife’s figure as she reregistered his words. She shook and he clutched her tightly, the tears flowing freely. She struggled to get ahold of herself and realizing her situation, tried to push out of her husband’s grasp. But he just grasped her tighter. 

“Get off me you- you—” She struggled to come up with an insult, but Lakshman, ignoring her, lifted her and sat her on the bed. He cupped her face with his large calloused hands and wiped away her tears, sighing when they were replaced with fresh new ones.

He took her hands into his and began running his thumb over her knuckles. With a fresh pang of sadness she realized that this would be the last time he would do that for a while. 

“Priye, it’s Rama. It’s Rama bhaiyya. It’s my duty. I have to go; I must go. How can I spend fourteen years away from him?” He looked into her eyes earnestly, and when she looked into the brown ocean of his eyes and saw love, her agony deepened.

“But Arya—"

“Urmi, you and I can live without each other. It will be long and it will be hard, but I will come back to you. I promise. But I cannot, I physically cannot live without Rama.” In her heart she knew this to be true. She could survive this separation, but Lakshman could not live without Rama. He was her husband’s oxygen.

“Then go Arya, just…" Her voice broke as she beseeched him, "Just take me with you.”

“I can’t my love. I cannot do my duty with full earnest if you are there.” He shook his head, and she sighed, her brows furrowed with a mix of anger, grief and heartache. She knew he was right. If she went, he would be torn between his duty as a husband and his duty as a brother and servant. If she went, she would put him through torture, and she could not do that. Urmila had tricked duty before, and it had come back to bite her threefold in the form of some twisted karmic revenge. She was no longer naïve enough to think that her duty was just to herself. It was to her husband, the love of her life. It was to her family, both new and old. It was to her ancestors and it was to the people that her family governed. She was bound by duty, as was he. 

She took a deep breath and wiped her never ending tears. The pause was pregnant, heavy with a question, and finally she opened her mouth and answered it resignedly, thinking, for once, with her head and not her heart. “Go Arya. Go. And I will stay here.” 

The smile that lit up her husband’s face was the final nail in the coffin. He left and her heart was shattered, torn apart by duty. It mocked her. It laughed at her as she wallowed in anguish. This duty would cause her to spend fourteen years left behind, fourteen long, arduous years forgotten, a wife away from her husband as he served his duty to his brother.

A/N (again): This is, once again, for the @hindumythologyevent! And now to my actual thoughts: Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Like just so so so sorry. I like writing angst but it then causes me to be all moody, so I’m sorry if this got you down. But I promise a fun Ganesha thing is coming soon! Look forward to that and let me know what you think! This one was a doozy for me because it was so different from how I write mytho it seemed. I hope I did it justice, because it still seems... almost trivial/childish to me. I can’t really explain it, but feedback is appreciated!

Tagging the mods: @allegoriesinmediasres​ @soniaoutloud​ @1nsaankahanhai-bkr​

And a few mutuals: @incurablescribbler​ @lovingyou-is​ @chaanv​ @heyifinallyhaveablog​ @worddiva179 @supermeh-krishnafan @bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @ariouseok @iamnotthat @shaonharryandpannisim @will-die-without-chai​ @sthitivinasha​ @jeyaam​ @shellweed​ @rang-lo​ @medhasree​ @tentativetalker​ @wrekalavya​ @ambitiousandcunning​ @vrlndavan​ @dilkishehnaai​ and anyone else I’m forgetting! I’m so sorry for the bajillion tags over and over!