#i tried really hard to stick to canon ages and all but shameless is fucking useless when it comes to that
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chicanomick · 2 years ago
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Ight gonna do a quick little cross over but!
Supernatural season 12 episode 14 when Mary and the boys have a fight and Dean says “How ‘bout for once, you just try to be a mom!”
And Mary says “I am your mother, but I am not "just a mom." And you are not a child. “ and Dean responds “I never was.”
Monica and Fiona vibes.
~*~
Monica comes back into their lives with Liam on her hip. Fiona foolishly thinks that finally, she’s here to stay.
Monica takes odd jobs to help around the house. Fiona quits her babysitter gig and goes back to school. After two months of perfect attendance, Monica forgets she promised Carl and Debby she was going to pick them up from school. 
Another day she isn't there to make breakfast. "I had an early shift," she said that night as she makes dinner.
At least she's home for dinner Fiona thinks, setting the table.
And then the occasional early shift and late shifts turn into them only seeing her when she gets home to sleep. Fiona goes back to forging signatures and ditching her last two periods to run a couple of streets over to pick up the kids on time. She cashes in some favors and is able to get Liam a babysitter for two weeks.
That same day she drops her perfect attendance.
Fiona comes home, stepping over a passed-out Frank on the front porch, and finds Lip smoking a cigarette. She doesn't scold him only because she hears her mother’s choked sobs coming from upstairs.
Monica doesn't leave her bed for two weeks. 
The shortest episode yet, Fiona thinks, holding back her mother's hair as she throws up the first meal she's had in weeks.  She goes back to school per her mother's request.
She hands in her absents note at the front desk and tries not to think about Monica.
The eighth grade seems to last forever.
She skips her last two periods and picks up Debby and Carl from school and Liam from the babysitter who says her two weeks are over.
Two weeks over. Two months over.
She cuts Monica's matted hair.
She makes a fake resume, because 16 is better than 14, and gets a job cleaning tables at a small Mexican restaurant.
She picks up the kids after work, feeds the kids, puts the kids to sleep, and then goes to babysit other people's kids while they go out. Anniversaries, girls' night out, a single dad who gets stood up. She has to lock herself in the kid's bedroom. She doesn't get paid that night.
Three months.
She graduates 8th grade. She drops Debby and Carl off at the public library while Ian babysits Liam. The two oldest Gallagher siblings go to work. Frank and Monica are helpful when it benefits them. Other times they're like two more children Fiona has to care for.
At least both parents are home
Four months.
It takes four months before Monica packs up to leave again.
Fiona yells at her and is tugging the duffel bag full of valuables and clothes out of her mother's hand begging her to stop and stay and “please just try and be a mom!”
Monica loses it and yells back about how she can’t live like this, how Frank is suffocating her and her new lover sees her for who she is. “I am more than just a mom Fiona!”
Fiona silently sobs, to be more than a mom you’d have to be a mom first.
Moving closer to her eldest daughter, Monica tries to hold Fiona’s face in her hands. Fiona is taller than her now, and has pimple scars and bags heavy under her eyes, “You are not a child anymore, Fiona. You can do this so much better than me. For me.” 
Fiona flinches out of her mother's hold. From Monica’s cold hands. She throws the duffel bag on the bed that will probably be empty come morning.
“I never was.”
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