#i traveled from Chicago to vegas TWICE to see this shitty 90 min cut down verison of bat out of hell the musical

[a-love-poet-at-heart]

Okay the moment i saw the words jim steinman i started making out with you op. But jim motherfucking steinman did go "hmm what if this song but vampires?" He had vamps on the brain the entire fucking time. What do you except from the man who reveres the story of Peter Pan?

This dude legit went imma make a nosferatu musical. Not a dracula musical, no no no. The bootleg knockoff movie of dracula that should have had all copies be destroyed cause of CopyRight Laws. Total eclipse of the Heart was written for this canned musical.

He later went, "Damn this is a good ass song. Dont want it to go to waste.....I'm working with bonnie tyler rn, maybe she should sing it." It became a mega hit.

Then years later Roman Polanski (yes i know i hate him too) and co went to jimmy to get him to write songs for polanskis musical adaptation of his movie The Fearless Vampire Killers or Parden me but your teeth are in my neck. So jimmy on a time crunch of like 2 months to write all the songs went "hmmmm i need a good big song for the vamp and virgin to sing in act 2. Maybe i could...nooooo..... I mean this is vienna afterall who would notice if i resuse this popular song i wrote but get it translated to german?" Everyone fucking noticed. But they didnt care cause it was a Banger and fit so well

Anyway Jimmy has a fucking track record as he took one of the songs written for this canceled batman the musical (yes there was almost a batman musical in the 90s, keep up) and had his bro Meat sing it on Bat out of Hell 3. The song is In the Land of the Pig the Butcher is King. Jimmy also had Meat sing Carpe Noctem from Tanz der Vampire on the album. In Jimmy's defense he had Health Problems and couldnt complete the album so Mr Loaf had another song writter come in to write addition songs for it.

But fear not! For In The Land of The Pigs, The Butcher is King did make it to The Stage in Jimmys "Bat out of Hell" the Musical or as I like to call it, "Rock n Roll Peter Pan but everyone is Really Horny". Then it got cut from the show. Anyway absolute Banger

God i fucking love jim steinman

okay so picture this.

You're a man named Jim Steinman. You are one of the most prolific songwriters of the 80s. In your spirit, output and essence, you are eternally popping a wheelie on a motorcycle while a hot half-naked woman clings to you and bats wheel in the sky above.

You wrote a song in which Meatloaf plays a hideously disfigured hunk who steals a nubile lady back to his crumbling manor and introduces her to the pleasures of magic lesbian group sex.

You wrote a song in which Celine Dion sings as Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, dancing with Cathy's corpse on a beach in the moonlight; a scene which you, Jim Steinman, believe should have been in the book. (The moors of Wuthering Heights are landlocked, but you, Jim Steinman, are too fucking real to care about that.)

You wrote the song for the opening scene of the movie Streets of Fire, in which evil leatherdaddy Willem Dafoe leads his malefic motorcycle crew into a concert to abduct Diane Lane while she's wearing a skintight satin jumpsuit.

You wrote a song in which Bonnie Tyler wanders a haunted boarding school as literal demon twinks gyrate at her out of the fog.

There is no peak of goth camp that you, Jim Steinman, have not summited, no horny energy you have not tapped. They say that Alexander the Great wept when he saw there were no more worlds to conquer. But you, Jim Steinman, are not Alexander the Great. You, Jim Steinman, are better. You, Jim Steinman, have vision.

You take your most successful song, the song everyone knows, the most big-haired, white dress, gothic arches, doves flying, possessed choir boys chanting, bombastic song you have, and think: what if this, but with vampires.

And so you change the lyrics to be about death and infinity and a powerful bloodsucking lord seducing a girl who is ALL ABOUT IT, and then toss off a whole musical for this song to be the centerpiece to, and the musical is bad but it's also a weird hit that's been staged in fourteen countries and revived seven times, because nothing has ever whipped as campily, as ridiculously, as perfectly as this:

It never takes off in America. A prophet is without honor in his own land. But that doesn't matter. How could it matter? You are perhaps the most creatively self-actualized man who has ever lived. Look at that vampire. He's coming in hot and a hundred Venetian nuns gave their lives to make his ludicrously capacious lace sleeves. Look at that girl. She was born in a fog machine. She wore her best red velvet cape. She's down bad. She's singing Total Eclipse of the Heart the whole time.

You are Jim Steinman, and you have reached apotheosis.