#i totally get why you would fall for it but there's no way discord could comb through every single reply to every tweet sent on their platf | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wanderingaldecaldo · 6 months ago

Text

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response.

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag.

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now.

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”.

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W” starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again.

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment.

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words:

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch).

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay.

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me.

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM.

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly.

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

#about cbp77 fandom #previously pinned post

67 notes · View notes

emnesoi · 14 days ago

Note

FIFTY TO SIXTY THOUGHTS NOW

aaaa scary

ok i will comply but only because now this is a bit instead of just random

fuck i just knocked my phone over while i was taking off my headphones

i should take out the trash

tea is cool they should make more tea

oh right i was getting drunk i totally forgot and i have half a spiked drink at my desk

i wish my teddy bear would sit up well but the ds's between its legs mean it falls over a lot due to how the leg joints work

wow i have three ds's on this desk right now that's weird

my friend left her pocketknife over and i should really give it back to her

it's a really nice pocketknife but i dont wanna use someone else's pocketknife so i should ask her where she got it

fuck coming up with 60 thoughts is hard

i need to take more instant photographs i have one i took of a friend's tsukihi plush on the bulletin board over my desk

why did i say "friend" you know exactly who im talking about

is it weird that i have a bulletin board over my desk

theres a little shelf under that bulletin board and on it i have two 3d prints, one of a marker switch from myst and one that's a lithophane of the cover of the downward spiral by nine inch nails and i think it's interesting that despite the fact that i asked a friend to print the lithophane years before i got a 3d printer you could reasonably assume i printed both of them

wow that was a thought that took way too much time to expalin

theres a lot of guitar maintenance equipment at my desk which is weird cuz i typically do that stuff at my couch rather than here

jesus christ theres too much stuff on my desk

i dont even need this string winder cuz there's a better string winder literally right next to it

i think ive used that tuning pipe like once

theres also an ace ring right next to them and i think that's funny

when i bought this flashlight i was debating whether to get this pretty decent one or a really fancy expensive one and a friend said "get the expensive one and brag about it on r/flashlights" which immediately convinced me to get the pretty decent one

i also have a set of security screwdriver heads at my desk which my dad got for me and i remember him telling me that he went to the hardware store asking for security heads and they scoffed and went "if you could just buy those they wouldn't work" so he went home and bought two sets off the internet and i thought that was funny

i hope you're reading this in the tone of Jory in that one episode of the ten minute power hour where Arin sits him on his lap and painstakingly grills him about his favorite pokemon and it gets really awkward

wow that sounds really weird when i describe it like that

fuck im not even halfway done

if i had a nickel for every thought im gonna post here i would have $3 which isnt very much money

i got a humidifier recently because it's really dry in my room and im not used to anything in here moving besides me so i keep seeing the stream of fog fog out of the corner of my eye and going AH ! INTRUDER !

that's not a bespoke thought for this thread i posted that on a discord server earlier today does that still count

it's annoying how i have to turn off my vpn whenever i try to go on rateyourmusic because it thinks im trying to ddos them or something

i dont even rate my music i just go there to get an overview of what an artist's most liked albums are so i can get into them easier

that's why im getting into current 93 through sleep has his house rather than thunder perfect mind despite the fact that i think literally everyone except rym agrees that thunder perfect mind is better

though now that i look at it they're only 0.01 off so its not like that discrepancy is that weird

with all of the bonus tracks bandcamp has, thunder perfect mind is as long as swans' soundtracks for the blind and i think that's funny

long albums are cool and i should listen to more of them, some of my favorites that ive listened to recently can't fit on a cd

it's funny that "fitting on a cd" is my criterion for "long" when i havent been an active cd collector for quite a while, i guess that just kinda wormed its way into my brain

oh we're getting enough text in this post to make the editor lag that's scary i hope it'll be good for another 23 thoughts

hey 23 is the number of thoughts i had last time i commented on how many thoughts i needed to post

shit, no it wasn't, it was 26, i really should have checked

wow i hope this is interesting to read

how many words is this at this point i need to check

it's 875 as of that last thought not including bullet points, i think that's more than the number of words ive written for my actual writing in the past few weeks

since pages hold around 250 words that means you would need four pages (ceiling) to write as much as i had written by thought 41

will people understand what i mean when i say "ceiling" i hope so

i wonder how many words this will be when im done

i think i can estimate with that other word count

since 41 is roughly 2/3rds of 60, that means that the amount of words this will have at the end will be 875*1.5 which is 1312

holy shit that's the based number

i lied it's 1312.5 i just rounded it down so it would be the based number

wow it's REALLLLY starting to lag now i wonder if the text editor's unoptimizedness is exponential for some reason

at this point im in the 50s and you asked for 50-60 so i could reasonably stop here but i kind of already committed to 60 so i can't really

i wonder if this is what you expected when you sent this ask

probably not but i mean i don't know what else you could have expected, maybe just me brushing this off aloofly

i wish i had more money so i could buy more music

it's kind of weird that i buy music right like whenever i talk about this to people theyre like oh i just use spotify or youtube or whatever but im weird and neurotic and like owning things too much

it is so laggy now that sometimes ill make a typo and then correct it and then only see all of that happen like 10 seconds later

i wonder if it's weird that i can correct typos without actually seeing what i typed like i just Know

oh shit im nearing the end now i gotta make this count

i wonder what "making this count" means in this context like how would i make the final thought "epic" theyre just thoughts this has been a total stream of consciousness it's not really building to anything

kitty nyaaaaan

#ask emnesoi

22 notes · View notes

deathdetermineslife · 4 months ago

Note

There is a new post going around about you and saying you’re supposedly shipping with an incestuous Danganronpa character. This is from another Anti. I’m confused as to why you keep getting labeled like this. I know nothing about your FO but I still know he was abused. I’m sorry people on here are stupid.

are you shitting me? he's literally a victim of abuse. I seriously have to wonder how these ppl treat irl victims of abuse who "fall in love" with their abuser as a way to cope with the trauma. there's a reason why I love him so much, and that's because I relate to him. I won't get into specifics but I was sexually abused and convinced myself I was in love with my abuser to cope with the trauma of, you know... being abused.

anyone in the danganronpa fandom can tell you he was a victim. anyone who played the game can tell you that. if you read any of his dialogue when he talks about his sister, you can tell he was effectively brainwashed by her manipulation. I mean, you tell me, when youre growing up and your very ill older sister is telling you you have to take the place of a boyfriend for her because shes too physically sick to form relationships with people other than her family, would you say that's consensual?

just because he's not the perfect victim doesn't mean he isn't one at all. not every victim of abuse will hate their abuser. not every victim will even acknowledge they were abused.

and to top it off, she died before he could ever grasp the totality of her actions. he was never given the chance to come to terms with that. there isn't a lot that we know about his parents, but we can assume he was neglected for the abuse to go on as long as it did. clearly no one intervened before her death.

you can send this to that person if you want, really I don't care because no one is going to stop me from shipping with him. shockingly enough, he didn't do anything wrong. tell me you only see victims of abuse as victims when they fit your definition of what a abuse survivor is without telling me that. oh well, my 500 followers seem to not gaf and understand he was abused, as well as the 100+ people in my discord server that joined via my account.

#tw abuse #tw csa #sorry i get really heated about this #but seriously. like. hes a victim of terrible terrible incestuous abuse #dude even the entire fandom these days understands that #perhaps youre just wrong? consider that #do i need to write an essay on why he was groomed

44 notes · View notes

leornadodabvinci · 9 months ago

Note

Hello! Do you have any other Grand Chase headcanons to share on this fine day? 👁️👁️

HI HELLO YES I DO OMGGG SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE I DIDN’T OPEN TUMBLR FOR A BIT BUT I HAVE A DISCORD SERVER FOR KEEPING NOTES OF STUFF AND ONE CHANNEL IS JUST DEDICATED TO RANDOM HCS AND SO UM. I have a few (that would make sense without an elaborate explanation)👉👈 they’re mostly if not all elesis and sieghart though ahahah… ANYWYA

*takes a deep breath*

(Sorry if the terminologies aren’t right im just rambling skhdjsj) (also a lot of them are sieg and elesis aha…)

- Sieghart currently is built like a dancer, lithe and flexible, because of the extra innate godlike strength he got from being a highlander. He doesn’t have to exert as much strength as when he was just a mortal, or like the weight doesn’t affect him that much anymore? Plus, i hc that the highlanders’ style is more elegant and flow-y, compared to the brutishness of the sieghart family’s. When he was younger, around Elesis’ age, he was built more like her. Body builder, bigger muscle kinda look.

- Elesis, as she grows into her late 20’s receives sooooo many “you look just like Sieghart!” Or “you look just like your father!” Comments, but as she grows past 30 and 40, they die down. Because sieghart is stuck in his 30’s, and elscud died (? Disappeared?) in his 40’s.

- sieghart is a jack of all trades, master of none kinda guy.

- Dio and Sieghart have a strange way of being intimate. It isn’t really… intimacy. They don’t do pda, they do something more nothingburger and subtle that it feels more vulgar if you catch them doing it. Its like a game? But not really? Since they’re not trying to hide it either 😭 i don’t know how to describe it. Like the Chase could be in a meeting together and Sieghart/Dio is eating something and one of them goes “blech” and instead of eating the food, they try it from the other’s mouth and then is like “oh ew ur right omg” and then the chase woukd just stare at them.

- dio and sieg are truly, evenly matched in skill. Its a battle of attrition. Though probably sieg has the upper hand since he’s immortal?

- dio’s actually also playboy, just not in mortal sense. He takes up someone every 5 - 10 years, which i hc is the equivalent of changing gfs/bfs every couple of months in demon sense of time. He tries to mean well though, and doesn’t do one night stands.

- sieghart is a one night stand enthusiast. He’s a total flirt too.

- height hc: dio > sieg > zero > ley > grandiel > werner > (noticeable drop) > ryan > lire > jin > rufus > harpe > ronan > asin > lass > edel > rin > elesis > amy > (big drop here) > arme > lime > veigas

- Elesis is a doof and lowkey rich girl coded. “How much is an apple anyway? Like $10?”

- the Chase act more like childish, more their age (more carefree, unburdened, yknow young adults/teens) around Sieghart.

- lass and rufus have the same eye shape. They both take after their mother more.

- Grandiel finds Sieghart to be the best company. They both understand each other very well, and seamlessly fall into conversation no matter how long its been since they last met.

- that’s why when Sieghart found out who Kyle and Cindy was, it stung a little. But he understood, of course. He holds no grudge against Grandiel.

- Sieghart acts like a safeguard for the Chase. He doesn’t want any of them to go through any of this alone.

- Ley, Rin and Sieghart are besties. Wine date trio.

- Lime and Dio also unexpectedly get along well. They’re optimistic people. Two sides of the same coin.

- Rufus cares about Lass more than he thinks. When Lass gets sick, he most definitely appears and lingers around until he gets better.

Okaay i think thats itttt hehe :3 Thank you for this ask I definitely enjoyed it LOL

#grand chase #grandchase #sieghart #ercnard sieghart #elesis #elesis sieghart #dio burning canyon #diosieg #siegdio #everyone else

17 notes · View notes

ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 1 year ago

Text

First shared in The Saiouma Pit discord server, parts said by other members are in quotations, unassigned bullet points are my messages

Hina: "It could go either way but... if it's Shuichi demonic royalty instead of parent, it's his uncle or Shuichi's parents and uncle being there and he's managing to perfectly play shit off to his parents while his uncle is just not buying it?"

his parents being the rulers of hell but his uncle being the one that cares to visit

Dra: "Shuichi tells Kokichi about what's going to happen, Kokichi agrees to help him find someone to marry (they are stupid) but before they can think of anyone time Runs out Shuichi's uncle appears from his silly little red demonic circle, looks at Shuichi, notices Kokichi and just "your human is rather small" And Shuichi loses it because oh fuck he didn't want to get Kokichi involved in this"

Hina: "The fact they really thought an hour was enough time to find a fiancé is just sad"

Fuwa: "we can extend it to 6 hours." And then I said: "no, an hour is perfect"

also Shuichi knew beforehand and just waited helplessly until it was last bell to do anything so he asked Kokichi for ideas

Fuwa: "they do fucking tinder, try to get a demonic looking match. They use a goddamn fake face app, to like, see who's demonic enough, and they point it towards Kokichi on accident at the very end, and it's like "perfect match". "Wow it's truly satan!!""

Hina: "WHY THE FUCK WON'T ANYONE MATCH WITH ME??? I TRIED A THIRST TRAP. I POSTED A PHOTO WITH A DOG. DO YOU NEED A FUCKING FISH??? IS THAT WHAT WE NEED??? SHOULD BE GO FISHING???"

Dra: "Does Kokichi get pros/cons of suddenly being married to demon royalty?" me: "like, what could the cons even possibly be? but yes he does"

after that dinner he stays up at night, pulls out his trusty white board

Dra: ""What if they don't have wifi in hell"", Fuwa: "Shuichi's family" (also listing cons)

Hina: "Pros: Demon Royalty, Would Protect You, Live in Castle, Rich, Cool Uncle, Husband Kinda Cute Ig Cons: The Signal Sucks, Parents are Meh, A lot of fire, Hot. Everyone Here lowkey wants to kill you"

idk about the killing part, I think Kokichi could gain respect in hell, they'd think he has what Shuichi lacks, he was always deemed too timid and soft for a heir to the throne, now this human he brought on the other hand…

Dra: "Ok but it'd actually be so funny if the other demons started going with Kokichi's lies and introduced him as the most powerful demon ruler that just happens to look like a lil dude (it's totally so he can fool sinners into thinking he's harmless) and Shuichi is just watching this go down like "huh""

I love fake dating AUs so I'll try to add a little more to this.

Neither of them has realized their feelings yet when that fated night happens, but something's been brewing through months of their living together. They're just friends that help each other in situations like needing an emergency fiancé. It's cool.

Until it's serious and they're told to pack, so they can begin preparations for the wedding and coronation in Hell as soon as possible. So things get a little tense, but they can go with the flow. It's just another adventure in the life of a supreme leader. And then the shenanigans begin.

The chambers prepared for them obviously have only one bed. They have to show off their affection to sell it to everyone. Learning new details about each other when they're made to pick out stuff for the wedding together. Some frosting on one's face while trying potential cakes. Waking up face to face after swearing to stay on far off sides of the bed the night before.

Kokichi learning things about Shuichi's childhood, Uncle shows him pictures. Shuichi watching Kokichi as he impresses demons with his act, looking at the faces he makes and being not only impressed too, but falling a little bit in love with the joy it brings Kokichi to have a receptive audience.

The realization of feelings being followed by the assumption it's unrequited and wallowing in it. The mixed feelings when trying on suits, dreading the approaching wedding day while thinking the other doesn't feel the same. Something pushing the tension past the limit and causing the confrontation. I've been thinking of maybe introducing a little magic to Hell's wedding traditions; they would each have to throw an ingredient into a huge jug of a special alcoholic drink that is prepared for weddings some days in advance and those specific ingredients have to be thrown in by the couple because the mixture will turn a pretty color when someone in love does this step.

Those idiots. These two morons. When it turns out alright they jump to the conclusion that the other is in love but with somebody else. [This could also be done with Kokichi hearing Shuichi mumble something about love in his sleep, or overhear him venting to somebody who knows their situation, probably Uncle or a friend, say "I think I'm in love" all tragically and the same misunderstanding happens]

So accusations fly, "If you're in love with someone, then why didn't you go to them with this?"

"I didn't know then. Why did you agree to this if there's someone you-?"

"I didn't know. And I expected this to be over by now. I thought that they wouldn't approve of me, or find out it's a farce and then kick me out."

"You should be with the one you love. I can open a portal for you. I can come clean to everyone, I got you into this mess-"

"No. It's not that simple" Shuichi looks at him questioningly, so he sighs and continues "... I am pretty sure it's unrequited. Doesn't matter anymore. What about you? I promised to help. Whatever that means now."

Whether they resolve it at that point or continue without talking things out [Shuichi claiming that his feelings are unrequited too, so their only option is to stay on track.] is up to you.

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #oumasai #kokichi oma #made by me #writing prompt #if you use it I'd love to read that!

33 notes · View notes

bite-the-bloody-hand · 7 months ago

Text

There was a fun conversation happening in the Owlcat discord a while back where someone just could not understand why Iomedae is so against any mythic path that isn't Legend or Angel.

The two factions were Team 'Stupid Lawful Iomedae' and Team 'Stupid Writing' and unfortunately both of them are wrong. Trust me, my cousin's a lawyer.

It's not that being Lawful makes Iomedae stupid, it's that being Lawful means that she has to do some pretty heinous, backhanded shit to secure the legitimacy of her worship - and this is because that's what her church wants.

Throughout the game's narrative it's made abundantly clear that the Crusade isn't about preventing loss of life or retaking the blighted lands or even just saving people from horrible demise: it's about 'restoring order' and 'returning to the status quo,' for the purpose of insinuating Cheliaxian law on that region of Golarion. It's always been about expansion and conquest "done by the right people." It was convenient to sit for years letting the indigenous Kellids and Sarkorian population die out when the Wound first opened, so a Cheliax-backed conquering force could move in from their already established bases and annex all of that land for themselves.

That's why Lady Konomi is always pushing for the Knight Commander to kowtow to the Capital and the Capital's Allies in Cheliax. Mendev is excellently positioned to become an "ally" (read: vassal state) to Cheliax and secure their holdings in that central region - something that had already been in motion.

If you played Kingmaker, it was heavily implied (if not outright stated) that Pitax was the Chelaxian wedge in the River Kingdoms; losing that land to the suddenly extraordinarily successful barony-to-kingdom would have been a HUGE blow. Pushing even harder to have Mendev pick up the slack - especially with them being neighbors - would have been a major priority. It has never been about saving people.

Yes, by Gods, the Angel path does a lot of lip service towards the cause of the righteous, the inherent horror and sympathy of Galfrey's position, and the relative powerlessness of the Angelic Host to do much of anything without a mortal champion at the tip of the spear. But that mortal champion must also be aligned with the wants of the church, which are the wants of Cheliax. That mortal champion cannot be tainted by, say, a personal belief that slavery is wrong even if it is the law. Even if the Angel by their side also carries that belief*.

Demons are chaotic, and their hierarchy is lawless, therefore it MUST be Iomedae and her Crusade that heals the worldwound because that proves the rule of law. It doesn't matter to Iomedae and her followers that the Azata are often THE guys to go to for stopping demon incursions** - it's about proving that their method is superior, righteous, and good. Even if that means allowing slavery, standing by as an indigenous population gets wiped out, and outright stalling the war effort if it gets in the way of political landgrabbing.

@thedosianexplorer also makes a good point about how the Crusade in-game reflects the real-world historical attitude of 'Crusading as an Act Of Love:' "if the good townsfolk die while we're not stopping this demon incursion, as long as they already loved and followed Iomedae, so they're saved, so it's fine."

All this to say, I don't think this is a case of Stupid Character or Stupid Writing - it's very deliberate. I also personally theorize that the other reason Iomedae('s Church) is so obsessed with proving her legitimacy is because Iomedae personally took out Aroden to 'prevent him from falling to darkness.' Iomedae and her church are very 'if you have bad thoughts you are a bad person' so I feel as though presuming that starts with her icing Aroden because he was having Dark Thoughts isn't totally out of line here. Iomedae needed to kill Aroden because what else would she be if her God turned out to be corrupt?

*The Hand of the Inheritor's downfall during Act 4 is my favorite ingredient of this whole fucked-up recipe: He left the service of an angel that had risen from being a devil only to find himself in the service of a mortal-turned-god from the Slavery Is Good And We're Bros With Asmodeus Country. No wonder he freaks out so bad.

**I find it deeply compelling that even in our own real world cosmology, it's essentially Yazatas vs Demons and Angels vs Devils. So having the Angel faction come in and say 'actually we're way better for this job than you, and we're going to prove it and then everyone will see that the real righteousness is the righteousness of law' is a WILD narrative choice that I really jive with.

#pathfinder wotr #pf wotr #wotr #wotr meta #wotr theories #i have a lot of feelings about how 'goodness' and 'righteousness' are approached in the text #the azata path and angel path writers are COOKING #also something to be said here about the presence of Mephistopheles being so subdued unless you're in a position to legitimize devilish law #the devil doesn't need to exert himself here if all the other pathways are in his best interest anyway #angels demons and liches continue the status quo #demon path especially since if you go demon you are literally just there to be the next target of the crusade #once again there is no way to have a war against an ontological concept that you can actually win #navel gazing

13 notes · View notes

fast-moon · 2 months ago

Text

Star Trek: Picard Season 2 Thoughts

So, Picard's got a new crew together, with cameos from some of the old ones, and at the end of the last season they looked like they were ready to go adventuring off into space. So, where do they end up in season 2?

Mirror Universe. Fuck me.

I mean, thankfully they're only in the Mirror Universe for, like, one episode, and then it's "Hey, you know how everyone liked Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home? Let's do that, but without the silliness." Yes, because it totally wasn't the silliness that endeared people to Star Trek IV in the first place.

The season opens on the already questionable development that Picard's male Romulan attendant has died offscreen or something, so now that leaves his female Romulan attendant to be available as a love interest! I don't inherently take issue with giving Picard a love interest, given that he had his share of flings in TNG, but this was certainly a... way... to go about it.

What I do take issue with is the season's heavily repeated theme that if you haven't found a love interest, than it's because you're a broken person who must have some kind of psychological trauma, because seriously, what's wrong with you? Especially because they still went the DS9 route of "being in love means you bicker all the fucking time". Holy shit, it is entirely possible for people to be completely functional and content with only platonic relationships, which many of the current generation are finding out.

Like, I get that the theme of the season is "connection", and I will give it credit for using the Borg as a vessel to illustrate the need for a bond with others. But it was still a complete mess in how it attempted to tell this story.

I mean, what even was the story it was trying to tell? Let me see if I can piece it together. So, Q is dying, so decides to fuck up the timeline and send Picard and crew to an alternate timeline where everyone is a xenophobic asshole who celebrate public executions of other races. And they discover that something happened in 2024 that broke the timeline.

Yes, yes, I think we all already know what happened in 2024 that caused the planet to collapse into an authoritarian, xenophobic hellhole.

But from a Star Trek perspective, 2024 was the Bell Riots, so we're gonna go and hang out with Sisko, Dax, and Bashir? Cool.

Nope, they went to April 2024, not September, so they beat Sisko to messing with the timeline by a few months.

The actual event that Q messed up was that he prevented Picard's ancestor from going to space, which collapsed all of human civilization for some reason.

But! The reason he wanted to mess up the timeline was so that... Picard would get hit by a car and fall into a coma where he could work out his childhood trauma? So this was all so that Q could basically just re-hash Tapestry?

I know John DeLancie had been playing Discord on My Little Pony for a number of years prior to this, but Q tends to be a little less, I dunno, chaotic.

And also so that they could create the Good Queen Borg and meet her when they got back to the corrected timeline, just so that she could point out this gigantic galaxy-destroying hole in space right behind them that for some reason no one noticed until she pointed it out to them.

I just... I don't know. I can see why people were not too thrilled with this season, because it was just all over the place. Even the direct references to Star Trek IV like the boombox guy on the bus and the "I'm from Chile, I only work in outer space" felt forced because they were tonally incompatible with how the rest of the season was written.

Also, the writers don't seem to know what to do with Elnor. The first thing he did in Season 1 was get left behind on the Borg Cube, then he spends most of this season dead. He seems like the character who would be the most compelling simply due to the fact that his whole thing is that he's honest and open with his emotions rather than being a cryptic, cynical edgelord like everyone else, but he's been sidelined ever since he was introduced. At this point, what is he even here for?

At least Q, despite the questionable plot direction, was still on his game. I was a big Q fangirl back during the original TNG run, and it's good to see he can still give a comparable performance after all these years (although, the aforementioned stint as Discord probably helped, since Discord was literally based on Q).

All right, I hear it picks up in Season 3, so fingers crossed.

#star trek #picard #season 2

2 notes · View notes

yarrayora · 1 year ago

Text

Fic author interview!

tagged by @carriagelamp and immediately interested in doing it after seeing the questions

tagging people who will be mentioned at question 12 alongside @mickeymagpie @unexbellexreverie and @booksandberries

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

112 surprisingly!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

235,399 words which is actually lower than i expected it kinda annoys me

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

if i didn't delete my rise of the brave tangled dragons and my voltron fics it would be them but i did. i deleted them. now my top 5 are all bsd fics

A Good Enough Reason to Keep Meeting Up (1,055 kudos) is part of Stray Gods series where the supernaturals are all real and Abilities came from them. This specific fic is about Chuuya and Atsushi's budding relationship. Or rather Chuuya's budding crush on Atsushi with malnourishment and chronic pain as the vessel to get there.

Money Makes the World Go Round (939 kudos) BSDxOuran crossover that is part of a collection of crossover fics about Atsushi attending high schools from different fandoms in order to attain the qualifications to enjoy the employment benefits his workplace has to offer. You can tell I'm old when that's my worldbuilding for writing high school AU

Moral Compass (923 kudos) the first installment of the Stray Gods series set post Dead Apple where unlocking his repressed memories about Shibusawa let the actual god Byakko to finally communicate with his Champion.

Delicate Job (791 kudos) A case fic written to explore Atsushi's role as a detective and how he would handle a case while prioritizing the victim's feelings unlike popular depictions of detectives where they use facts and logic to trample over people because the authors think that's what makes intelligent people cool

The God of Destruction Wished For Naught (752 kudos) the third installment of Stray Gods and a continuation of A Good Reason to Keep Meeting Up where Chuuya's body is falling apart, which could lead to Yokohama's destruction via blackhole, forcing Atsushi to make connections with the Port Mafia

I was a bit disappointed at first that my most kudos'd fic hasn't broken 2k kudos yet but seeing how my top 5 fics don't have a huge disparity between the amount of kudos makes me happy

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! i don't always know how to reply but i especially makes the effort for people who leaves paragraphs on my fic. sometimes if i know the commenter i just reply on their discord lmao

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

oh that's hard. i have a lot of oneshots that are basically "and so, the cycle of suffering repeats yet again" and you'd think it would be the servampxbnha crossover where despite mahiru's best attempt to help deku get into UA even without a quirk so he will let go of his self-hatred for being born quirkless, in the end he receives One For All from All Might, undoing all the works mahiru-sensei has done to help deku but NO it's a bsd fic again that embodies this concept in the worst way possible as it's revealed that the event that happened in canon timeline was kickstarted by post-beast!atsushi who copes for his feelings for beast!dazai (both affection and hatred) by writing numerous worlds into existence to prove that dazai is a good man all along

wait. no. actually. the persona 5 fic where the phantom thieves deal with goro's sacrifice might be angstier considering this line

Akechi Goro was the only murder they ever committed, and in the years that follow never once would his name ever passed their lips. But he would always be at the edge of their vision, a ghost that they could never speak to.

or the birthday fic i wrote for the hunt twins where oz killed ewan who crawled back out of the cauldron to re-sacrifice himself so patchman won't survive???

or the big hero 6 fic where people are holding a funeral for personal health companion robots who carried a bunch of people out of a burning building??? repeating the word "Tadashi is Here" to people who never knew the man to comfort the terrified humans?

or the ben 10 fic where ben accidentally used too much force in his alien form resulting in his first murder and then repressing the memory??

it's impossible to make me choose

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

d-do i have a happy ending posted

actually im choosing the dragon age fic where cole accidentally made him saving the inquisitor from the envy demon sounds sexual which leads to hilarious results

7. Do you write crossovers?

yes and my non-crossover fics are actually stealth crossovers

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i dont remember ever getting one

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

this is the question that actually made me want to do this interview. SO. be kiddie yarra during ff.net era. i was writing persona 4 fic where naoto says goodbye to souji. it was romantic. someone left a comment on my fic saying my writing got stolen and linked me to a naruto fic which made me go??? huh??? and turns out it was Word By Word the same fic but with souji being replaced as naruto, naoto as hinata, and the train station into konoha gate. it was insane.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not on AO3 i think?? someone DID contact me to ask for my permission to translate my fic to russian but i don't remember the details

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

stray gods is written alongside @faerynova while @katzkinder helped with children's war. oh and also the Not Posted smtiva series written with @gothamcityneedsme

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

impossible to choose but i can tell you the very specific criterias that attract me to my ships if you want

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

usually when i abandon a fic i lose interest in it altogether

15. What are your writing strengths?

my bsd x ouran fic has been complimented as staying true to the characters even though im throwing ouran into a serious series like bsd and vice versa so i like to think it's my ability to keep the core of the characters true even when putting them in a different AU unrelated to canon. also writing convoluted political struggles that makes sense.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

grammar. but apparetly im also somehow better than a lot of native english speakers???

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

im writing in english, arent i? (lol)

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

persona 4. it was an talkshow styled interview fic

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

don't have one as far as i can think of. i guess i want to write more of "how to make my notp make sense" and "characterxreader fic that doesn't sacrifice canon characterization" as a challenge for myself

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

the hope chapter of Despair (and Hope) because i had fun writing mahiru fixing mikuni through a persona 5 palace-like challenges except with zero fighting and more puzzle-solving

#yarra speaks #yarra writes stuff

7 notes · View notes

sabrondabrainrot · 1 year ago

Text

Merry Christmas and TMNT Update!

Merry Christmas everyone! Just some updates but I've been hard in the TMNT brainrot. So first of all I just binged through the first 3 seasons of TMNT 87 AAGH SO GOOD it's so cute I love the boys so much! I finished 12 and WOW what a rush! Leo is the type of brother who would just carve his entire heart out for his family (and he basically does.) Raph is like the best brother, he grows SO much and cares SO much. Donnie is so adorable too, I'm glad he grew out of being a simp. He's a really sweet brother when he's not being like a stalker. Mikey literally saved them so many time just wow, what a lad. I love the dynamics of 12 so much. it's written like a tele-novella soap opera, but I say that only with love.

I'm on season 3 ep 7 of tmnt 03 and I saw Raph meeting a blind old lady who owns a cat and my heart melts, planning to actually rewatch that ep just cause my dogs interrupted the entire episode.

I also got my friend to sit with me and watch the 2007 tmnt movie and the Rise tmnt movies recently and they are literally amazing movies. I really hope Rise wins it's nomination.

I've been taking an obsessive amount of screenshots of tmnt 87 and sending live dms to a friend on discord, and I just wanna share some of my fav screenshots.

I wanted to take screenshots of 03 and 12 and Rise while watching them but the streaming platforms prevent me from taking screenshots.

This was such a cute episode, Michelangelo was so sad to not have money for a boogey board and Raphael towel whipped him and Leonardo in the back trying not to laugh out loud was so funny.

This ep was also great because it just ends with Splinter being stuck in this other dimension and the turtles are like "how do we save him!" and hitch a ride on an alien ship and just follow along and April is like "you can't leave me!" and next thing you know Splinter is shimmying his way to freedom and lands on them.

I don't remember this ep title, but I just think the goobers looking all sad is so cute and funny.

Leonardo was being devious

I took this screenshot too cause they just look so cute and small XD

I love how short and small they are, I just want to squeeze them.

This is the episode that introduced 87 Leatherhead and they went back to Florida, I just think them looking sad while sinking was so funny looking.

I took a million screenshots on birthday boy mikey episode. He's so adorable and sweet. He got sad and ran away from home and was hooked up like this flushomatic torture device and idk it was so silly and so many cute expressions were in this ep.

Just a bunch more super cute moments. Like no one said how they acted when they got sick and I was not ready for them to be begging April and Splinter for attention and baby talking for more care. It was so cute and sweet. I also screenshotted Donnie falling cause his face cracks me up. I still can't get over how they're literally just little babies and April is totally their mom. (she reads them bedtime stories, it's canon)

He was so excited to film a turtle work out video.

This is one of the last frames of the season 3 finale and I think it's so funny they got rid of the Technodrome once and for all by sending them back to dimension X and they don't even look that happy. They're literally being celebrated and look so bummed out about it

BTW I have paramount but they don't have past season 2 available right now so I started watching it on internet archive, it's all there for free if you ever want to get your Cowabunga fix. (it's also why I could even take so many screenshots)

12 notes · View notes

bhobbiel · 2 years ago

Text

Scattered Maiden Rose Thoughts

*totally understand if this is not your kind of manga for very obvious reasons. This includes spoilers

New Impressions since reading years ago

I have not read this since I was a young teen! I had no idea there were new chapters or redraws (s/o to the saezuru discord- maiden rose channel or else I would have never found out)

I still have a decent of the "new" parts to read.

First of all when I read it as a teen I has no idea it was not a chronological story with regards to the train scene LOL .

I still get confused with the timeline like of the doujinshi/ one shots.

Like when Klaus is healing and all bloody with Taki with him is that like right after he was interrogated? Or when Klaus gets mad at Suguri for leaving Taki with him. Idk maybe if I read the new redraws and chapters it will make more sense.

Is it supposed to be a mystery whether or not Klaus is a Eurote spy? Or the thing that people assume instead of knowing real relationship between Taki and Klaus? Also I think other people besides Surgui know... like idk the older frowning man guarding Taki's door. Or the military people who were suspicious of why they were in each others' room...

Speed of relationship

Also its wild how much Taki's deportation/ the escalation of war speeds up their romantic and sexual relationship. It is the catalyst that forces Klaus to assert his romantic love for Taki, for him to get physically intimate with him. Truly now or never in the context of war.

But seriously its wild how fast things escalate. Like within days. Including a lot of "firsts" for Taki that he was forbidden to experience at all.

---

How each character fell in love with the other

Taki:

With Taki I think it is more clear to me why he fell in love with Klaus. No one fully saw Taki for who he was outside of his very high social standing that inherently puts him on a pedestal. He had a lot of first/ beautiful experiences at Luckenwalde. He shared those things with Klaus. Klaus actually genuinely enjoyed being with Taki as he was. I mean Taki is great but he is also uptight, naive, and sexually/romantically inexperienced. But idk I think its unique that it does not bother Klaus. Also because of Klaus openly being the first one to say his feelings/desires- Taki can even acknowledge these parts of himself at all.

However, in the beginning Taki could not consciously realize his feelings about Klaus. How could he? He faces: cultural ideas of purity linked to his family/social standing/ political role. War, taboo, and obligation. There are so many things at only Luckenwalde they will get to experience. There are so many kind soft parts of their relationship that can never be accessed again.

Klaus:

With Klaus it is more obvious to me how he shows his care for Taki and less of the why. I wish I understood better though!

He shows this in a myriad ways. Klaus is saved by the book he puts in his jacket because Taki wrote in it in Luckenwalde. He earnestly tells Taki how much he wants (maybe more in fantasy than in possible reality) a simple life with him. He shows how much he wants Taki including toxic ways. Sometimes he wants him softly and other times violently and ravenously.

It is shown in Luckenwalde that Klaus at first admired Taki's strength. But it becomes more and more things. Even if he only initially works on getting closer to Taki as an order.

I think it is really meaningful to Klaus that they met years before reuniting in Luckenwalde. Klaus infers that it shows that Taki wants him even if cannot verbalize it. Klaus' experience of the romance illustrates the more metaphysical aspect of love. For him, it does not matter why you fall in love with someone, even if none of their characteristics make sense on paper, it is that you must go toward it regardless of sacrifices.

I think this part of the story alludes that Taki's metaphysical social role isn't just "superstition" but is possibly the very thing that brings him and Klaus together.

Even given how things played out- I don't think Klaus regrets leaving his home, rights or citizenship for Taki. He definitely is furious that despite these things- Taki does not show physical or emotional intimacy toward him. He does not understand the rejection. And even the "why" Taki is acting this way is only explained by Surgui.

Emotions through art choices

How the author shows subtle facial expressions and touch between characters is really impressive. Especially since a large part of the story is the lack of fully honest, vulnerable, or direct verbal communication- the way the characters' facial expressions are both guarded and show emotion is a big part of the storytelling.

---

To be honest idk if this series will ever be finished 😭

#maiden rose #hyakujitsu no bara #taki reizen #fusanosuke inariya

29 notes · View notes

darthnell · 1 year ago

Text

20 Questions for Writers

Oh This looks fun.. ty for the tag @wordspin-shares !!

How many works do you have on AO3? As of right now, 19 !

What is your total AO3 word count? Well.. you see.. 501,371. ..Huh I the chap I just posted cracked the 500k count ! Congrats to me ig !

What fandoms do you write for? The Hunger Games ! I have some Star Wars fics on my AO3 from years ago, but 96.2% of those words are THG so. hjvbdhvhbddfbh

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sighs really heavily. So I pretty much only write OC stuff for THG, which means that the 3.8% of Star Wars fics are taking 3/5 spots on the top 5 kudos ranking. F in the chat. So starting at the most, we've got: Lessons Unlearned (SW), Is That Really Me? (SW), True Vengeance (THG), Widow's Bite (THG), and Take My Hand (SW). None of those SW fics are over 2k while True Vengeance is probably going to hit 300k by the time it's over... Really interesting to see the statistics of what it looks like to write in a larger fandom vs a smaller fandom tbh :0

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Absolutely !! I love reading what people think about my writing. It's neat to see what sticks out to them and how they feel about my characters or plots or everything really ! :D It makes my day to see them <3 Also I love chatting about my writing and the thought processes behind it, so if you every get an essay in response to a comment u left on my fic, uh.. sorrie... bdjfvbhdb

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hm.. Maybe Reparation Clause or True Vengeance? Granted, I haven't written the ending of TrV yet but given that I've killed off all of Ven's arena friends uhh.. yeah. The Bridges We Burn could also possibly fall under this category... Turns out there is no shortage of angst when you write for the child death pageant fandom jdvvbhdf

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Now that's a harder question, rip. I do generally try to end my Victor Exchange fics on happier notes (Destined to Fall, Desiderium, The Bridges We Burn). I think Widow's Bite and No Sleep for the Wicked also end on more positive notes..? I wouldn't exactly call it Happy though.. (maybe some of my Star Wars fics would qualify, but I do not feel like talking about them LMAO)

Do you get hate on your fic? No, I'm perfect (insert sunglasses emoji here) /j I don't think I've ever gotten straight-up hate comments on my fics before though. I've gotten some criticisms (one person wasn't happy about the fact that the Games continue after the events of True Vengeance, according to the other fics on my profile hvfhvbf), but nothing that's ever put me down about my writing. ...Do affectionate death threats count as hate? (my friends are Goofy bhjdfbvhd)

Do you write smut? If I do, you'll never know BHVF. Ok for real though, it's not really my jam as a writer. Worth trying probably to step out of my comfort zone, but definitely not something I'd ever post. Sorry guys.

Do you write crossovers? Nah.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Afaik, no. Not in terms of straight-up ripping the text. I think I've had some ideas borrowed, but like. Who give a fuck LOL. As my one friend likes to say often, there are no new ideas in THG (in terms of things like arenas, quell twists, tribute concepts). What makes something unique is having different authors writing and interpreting said concepts !

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I've thought about translating one of mine into French myself as a way of practice.. Never got around to it though, alas.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Ooh, so Technically, no... BUT. I do create tribute characters for SYOT (Submit Your Own Tribute) fics, which is more of a collaboration than co-writing. I also have three fics I've written for the Victor Exchange event in the SYOT Verses discord server where the pov victor characters were created by another author and I wrote their stories (and I received a fic for the victor character I created!) So again, not Reeeally co-writing, but. Collaboration !!! Uhh I was really into Barriss/Ahsoka in high school. FinnRey starwar is also<3

What's your all-time favorite ship? Scratches head uhhhhh.. all time favorite..? If my ocs count, I will say Maritrix (Venatrix and Mariposa) and also Oberon and Dagmara. Otherwise, uhhhhh..... I will be real, it has been a Long time since I've cared about any specific ships to the level where I need to read or write fanfiction about them LOL. I was really into Barriss/Ahsoka back in high school. Also FinnRey starwar<3

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths? Ooh I love writing dialogue, and also fight scenes!! Description is fun too c: But yeah, I have been called the fight scene queen by a friend once so I think that counts as a strength LOL.

What are your writing weaknesses? I have no weaknesses I'm perfect (sunglasses emoji). /J bvhjfvfbh.. I'm Slow. I get hung up sometimes on structure/style things while writing and it makes the process take a bit longer. I think also sometimes I tend to meander a bit... I could use a lesson in conciseness jvhhbfv.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? It seems like good practice !! Like I said, I had wanted to translate one of my fics into French as practice.. Not sure if that's what this question is asking, or more of like. A bilingual character or something..? Idk ! I think if it's something that you want to get better at, it would also be wise to get concrit from a native speaker on how natural it sounds.

First fandom you wrote for? Warriorcats ! :3c

Favorite fic you've ever written? I /gen enjoy most of my writing.. I know not all people do and I'm not trying to brag or anything, I just. I pander to myself LMAO. But my Favorite TM has gotta be True Vengeance ;-; It's the longest thing I've ever written (and probably will be for a while), and I've spent every day for the past ~3 years thinking about it, so. That is telling hbvdhbf.

Tagging: @illegalcryptid @emeraldflower25 @rivalhughs @ladyqueerfoot @justafunctionalmess @conschintz and general tag for anyone who wants to answer !!

#nell clownery here #writing stuff #tag game #true vengeance 151 #hunger games #the hunger games #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #20 questions for writers

5 notes · View notes

thousandbuns · 2 years ago

Text

Tonight, on Bottom Gear: Ylthin gets extra sentimental about the spiky lads, and especially her fictional dysfunctional more-or-less-spiky children

(AKA I’m going to vaguely ramble about why I ticked so hard with Chaos and Chaos Marines as a faction, and how my personal experiences may or may not have seeped through into my renegade/CSM OCs)

---

Maybe I should begin by bringing up what exactly spurred this - and it’s a meme posted in a mutual’s Discord server this evening:

I saw it and nodded, for it is good and righteous to call the canon dumb and elope with some harlot to the wild frontier of headcanon, fanon and others. But at the same time - how about acknowledging canon... by defying it? How about taking the grand founding rule of this fictional universe and asking “okay, but what would happen if something didn’t conform to it”? Taking the one in a hundred, one in a thousand, one in a million... one-period, the sole existing or known exception to what’s considered the norm?

And then it struck me - it’s what Chaos and otherwise rogue Marines are to the Imperium. They’re the impossible, the anathema, the living defiance of both its founding principles and current ideological line, a thing so blasphemous their very existence is a desperately guarded state secret. They’re thoroughly brainwashed into total obedience, yet somehow break out of it, betray their sovereign - be it for the Ruinous Powers, their own agenda or both. They’re the exception to the rule - and an exception so powerful, so fundamental, it dates back to the founding of the Imperium and originally covered nearly half of the Legiones Astartes. They prove that the rule is hardly as set in stone as the Imperium would like you to believe, and if you think about it for more than a second...

Wouldn’t it mean other exceptions are possible, too?

Wouldn’t it mean that an Astartes can be of other gender than “male”? That they can experience sexual or romantic attraction? That they can feel the full spectrum of human emotions and desires, or at least parts of it?

And what would happen if they did so in an environment that denies them the knowledge or space to express themselves? One that seeks to repress those feelings and behaviors, directly or indirectly?

For example, what would happen if the hypno-conditioning was flawed beyond just allowing for “too much” free will or “not enough” attachment to the Imperium over the Marine’s own brotherhood? If he was unusually sympathetic and protective of mortals, genuinely invested in fighting “for the good of mankind”? Or if he felt particularly responsible for the brothers assigned to his command, seeing himself as a teacher and a role model, but more importantly someone they could confide in and seek advice from?

What would happen if a Marine found himself falling in love with - and simultaneously also feeling physically attracted to - another battle brother while understanding in theory how human sexuality operates but remaining firmly convinced it doesn’t - and shouldn’t - extend to Astartes? If “he” felt off about his hypermasculine appearance and secretly questioned the logic behind artificially maintaining an environment with only one, nominally “male” gender?

What would happen if a Marine was drafted into a war, but not given a cause to believe in or rally around, thrust into another man’s conflict without any personal conviction or stake, nothing beyond a vague claim of “duty” and “sole purpose”?

What would happen if this was confounded by snippets of knowledge - surviving memories of the past, direct experiences with mortals, overheard words - yet also faced with opposition in some way, quiet or loud, with misunderstanding, denial, hostility, punishment or deterrence? If this experience seemed to be an isolated case, a one-of-a-kind event at best and a major defect at worst?

What would happen to those one-in-many, to isolated grains of sand that slipped through a hair-thin crack?

And what if those unique experiences became compounded, layered on top of other, more conventionally-unconventional exceptions? A Rubric exile partially afflicted by the spell they helped cast, a noble-hearted Fenrisian who fought on Armageddon only to slip into Khorne’s clutches, an Imperial Fist successor who fought his way into the ranks of Iron Warriors to lead a squad of young, disheartened recruits...

After all, the galaxy is so massive that one-in-a-million events can basically happen every other day. One percent - one in a hundred - out of one million is ten thousand, and from our limited human perspective there’s almost nothing stopping reality from somehow hitting that one percent chance several times in a row.

After all, life spun the wheel with me and checked off a whole bunch of boxes in one go, making me queer, neurodivergent, mentally ill and very angry about a number of things in retrospect - and I wouldn’t be able to describe myself as either of these things if I haven’t heard from people who experienced them as well. Go figure.

#ylthinOCrambles #40k rambles #I can probably talk your ear off about each one of the characters I've mentioned here #but it's 1AM and I wanted to keep at least the appearances of writing something coherent and cohesive and whatever else #so if you want to get OC lore-dumped #please let me know and I'll make separate posts for it at a more humane hour #I work 9-5 and the past 2 days were office days so I have some sleep to catch up on k thx bye

7 notes · View notes

kay-elle-cee · 1 year ago

Note

Last day?!? Oh how time flies! Please don’t mind me being late to this, but it’s better late than never, right?

First I wanted to say, Congratulations on this milestone that you received. It just shows how many hearts you’ve touched across the world with your writing and personality! I’m always happy to read your stories, and of course the angsty ones are my absolute favorite, your writing is very addicting. I hope you know that I appreciate all the effort you put into your stories, and behind the scenes takes on the characters.

It never ceases to amaze me, with the amount of talent and passion you have when you write your stories. Each story you write is special in its own way, and I’ve already told you which are my favorites, and as always IBFIBG will have a special place in my heart, no matter what. If one day you decide to step away from writing for any reason at all, I hope you know the impact that you have not only on myself but also on each and everyone of your followers/subscribers.

I hope you continue doing what you love to do. You have probably received many congratulations and hopefully receive many more, I just wanted to share how much I appreciate you not only as an author but as a person as well. I feel as though people seem to forget that behind every name there is a person, and your name will always be special and one that I look forward to seeing each time I go on Tumblr or A03. Your writing is truly captivating and I hope you know that even if you are unhappy with your stories for whatever reason, someone out there is falling in love with the stories you chose to share.

Now for the asks, both game/TSwift

Getting to know your fic writer:

#61) Why do you continue writing fics?

#24) Worst writing advice anyone has given you?

TSwift Song lyric game:

#31) This is me swallowing my pride (Only if you want to of course, no pressure)

Hopefully you’ve been getting enough rest. If not, feel free to hold off on responding to this until you get some much needed r&r. I’m happy to have read one of your Jilymicro fics while I was scrolling through Tumblr. I hope you never doubt your abilities when it comes to writing, because there are a lot of people who care for you, and love seeing you on their dash, including me of course. I wanted to send this before I head off to work, again congrats, you deserve all the recognition that you deserve and then some.

Nena I'm gonna cry over here, you are so lovely and I hope you know how much I enjoy seeing YOU on my tumblr/discord/ao3. <3333

For someone who's written over 200k words this year, I fear I can't find the right ones to fully respond to all your kindness except thank you, I appreciate you, and thank you again <333333. I'm so happy (and baffled) that people continue to read my little scenarios and feel affected by them. I know I've said I've been a little burnt out lately, but I don't plan on stepping away (in a permanent capacity) any time soon. Just need a little R&R (if I could actually make myself stop and rest, that would be GREAT lol).

I know I've already tagged you in your prompt (here on ao3), so now for your questions!

#61) Why do you continue writing fics? I enjoy it, and I keep. getting. ideas. 😅 I remember when I was finishing up restless waves rise and fall I was like "oh man I only have like 4 other ideas....what happens if I run out?" and let's just say that is 1000% not a problem anymore. Now my problem is "how can I get through all these ideas before something in RL demands my undivided focus?" which might account for why I've been SO active this year.

I talk about how I work in a creative field, and that's true, but I don't get to create from scratch, and fic scratches that itch. And it's totally at my whim! No client briefs to meet, no writing to rigidly fit what other people expect, just....whatever the fuck I want.

#24) Worst writing advice anyone has given you? "Write what you know." I think that's fine advice to get your feet wet, but if we all did that, I think ao3 would be boring as hell 😅. That's not to say if it works for you, don't do it—if writing what you know is what works, great! But for me, I had to break out of that mindset to really start writing some of my favorite things.

Thank you again, Nena! I appreciate you so much! <3

#asked and answered #Nena-96

2 notes · View notes

terrainofheartfelt · 1 year ago

Text

20 Questions Game for fic writers

tagged by @ernestonlysayslovelythings -- thank you friend!!!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 90 (lol what the fuck)

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 840,737 hahahhahahhahahahahah what THEE fuck

3. What fandoms do you write for? Gossip Girl fairly exclusively, but I have been coaxed to write some Nancy Drew & some The Shadowhunter Chronicles drabbles, and I am currently in a will-she-won't-she with firstprince and RWRB

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? - somewhere you feel free - (the more you say) the less I know - gladly beyond any experience - mercurial high (a goddamn blaze in the dark) - as long as there are stars above you

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! if somebody takes the time to tell me they liked the thing i made, I want to say thank you! I often fall months behind, but theoretically, every comment gets a response.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? oh it's probably my Last Five Years derena au, twin flame bruise. i'm usually a fluffy ending kind of writer, but ofc my source material demanded something different, and it was weirdly satisfying in a way!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think most of my fluffy happy endings end on the same level....but if I had to pick just ONE, then I'll go with my The Holiday AU, a snowfall kind of love, just for that NYE cozy closing scene. just thinking about it is making me smile

8. Do you get hate on fics? it's only happened a few times, most people are total sweethearts, and since i've locked my fics the hate has disappeared, people aren't nasty when they have to sign their username to it. I remember one commenter on my p&p au who complained about how I was structuring the story but like....it's jane austen's pacing, I was just plugging in my blorbos, like. girl.

another one that made me and the discord laugh a lot was some hate I got on a dan/nate fic that was offended that I wrote dan as a bottom, which....have you seen that boy?

and there was hate because i dared make any characters queer at all. none of the van der humphreys are straight, sorry not sorry. they all bewildered me at the time, but in hindsight they're all just hilarious.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? the smutty kind? the horny kind? I tend to gravitate towards romantic smut, like, they're so in love they've gotta fuck nasty about it, but that's not always the case. I guess the classification I could give to all the smut in my collection is that I always try to work in Character Study into my porn. like, yes, they would be into that, and here's my persuasive essay as to why. like dan humphrey is a Bottom.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? no, not into crossovers, just not my cup of tea. I like doing aus with preexisting stories (see: p&p, l5y, the holiday, little women), but I don't like mixing characters from different worlds. just doesn't appeal.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? oh yikes i hope not. i don't think anyone cares enough for my smutty writings on a show that's been off the air for a decade to steal it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? it is an honor I dream not of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i have not. I have many many wonderful writer friends that i've met through this hobby, but my life is so hectic that I feel like I can't really guarantee my time and attention to write with someone else, and I don't want to let my brilliant beautiful writing friends down by making promises that I cannot fulfill. maybe when i marry rich and retire.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? going off the data, I'd say it's Dair.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? ummmmmm at this juncture....any of my unfinished ones.......just know that if desire and will was enough....they would all be finished.

16. What are your writing strengths? my strength is really filling out a universe. i like digging in and making those decisions of why things are the way that they are, why would this character choose this path, or that path. if i'm making an au from scratch, it's building the world, or if i'm doing an au of a preexisting recipe, it's connecting the dots and making the gg world fit into the auverse

17. What are your writing weaknesses? other than actually writing? loooooool no but i think right now i get stuck in the "it has to come out perfect" and that slows me down a lot. and that leads to editing as i go and that slows me down even more and......blah. also descriptions. descriptions get me. dialogue is fine, and the choreography of action that plays out in my head makes sense, but putting it into prose? it's embarrassing! maybe i just need to get back to slapping up words, leaving them alone, and coming back to revise later.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? um scared? my singer education gave me a little bit of working knowledge of romance languages, but my grammar is trash. and poetic singing language is different from how people speak. so i avoid it as a whole because i'm scared of getting it wrong and looking foolish, or worse, offending someone. a little French and Italian will sneak in from time to time, if it works for a character, and lucky for dair it does, but i cling to word reference dot com whenever I do.

19. First fandom you ever wrote for? in middle school when we had free writing in english class, i wrote twilight fanfiction that i am SO glad has been lost to time. rip to little me on the day i realized mrs maddox read everything in that notebook for a GRADE (it was all very chaste and sfw, i was just mortified on principle)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? it changes with the tides!!!! and with recency bias! for the past week it's been the miloverse - I know a place where your heart can be safe - maybe because I wrote it in the fall, but it does feel so cozy and autumnal.

tagging: @strideofpride, @blairwaldcrf, @windowsandfeelings, @scabopolis, @mysteriesofloves if you are so inclined to do it!!!! <333

#tagged #this was fun!!!! thank you!#srsly forever grateful for the gg discord for being my safe place whenever i get a hate comment #yall are the BEST <333

3 notes · View notes