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elisysd · 2 years ago

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20. All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack Electric Touch - Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy

Suzuka was a mess. Ethan had barely been able to focus during the qualifying session, ended up P19 and the race had not been better after he made a stupid mistake that sent him in the gravel and put an end to it. When he got out of the car, his first reaction was to lock himself in his driver room to avoid talking to anyone. He didn’t care about Ashley whines as she was reminding him about his media duties and the fine the team and himself were about to have if he was not showing up in the media pen in the next few minutes.

But he didn’t care. He just wanted to be left alone. He took his phone that was charging on the little coffee table and searched for the number he wanted in his contact.

“Ethan?”

“Hey, dad…”

“I was not expecting your call.”

“Yeah, it’s just… My head was not in the game this weekend and I need someone to remind me what is important, so here I am.”

He heard her dad sighing and the cat in the background meowing.

“Why weren’t you focused? When you put your visor down, nothing else should be important.”

“Carla happened. I’m not the dad.”

“That's good news…” his dad said, hesitantly.

“Yeah… I should be happy, right? I should be ecstatic. But… It’s stupid, dad.”

“I’m sure it is not. Tell me what’s on your mind, we will find a way, Ethan.”

“It’s… when I saw her pregnant I felt like hitting a brick wall at full speed. For a moment I saw myself as a dad. It didn’t last long, but… I felt the weight of responsibilities and having to care for someone other than myself. And it scared the shit out of me. I’m not ready. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready and I’m not sure I want to be ready. But at the same time, it made me realize that maybe it was time for me to grow up and stop being selfish. Because if I keep on acting like a dick, my mistakes are going to catch up on me and I’m gonna lose everybody I care for. And I’ll be alone. And maybe it’s what is frightening me the most. Loneliness.”

“You have a strong support system. You have Kyle and Ludwig. you have your mom and I, no matter what you think we love you and we will always be there for you. And now you have Julia.”

“Yeah, Julia…” he whispered.

He must have said it in a weird tone since his dad asked him if everything was all good between them.

“I… I don’t know, I guess. I haven’t really talked to her since the night I learned about Carla.”

“Rely on her, son. That girl clearly cares about you, hold on to that. Don’t shut her out.”

He wasn’t sure that after what he had told her, she would like to still hold onto him. He knew he had hurt her and he didn’t know how to act as if nothing had happened. A loud knock to his door made him shorten his call with his dad. It was time for him to put on a mask and act as if everything was okay when in reality, he felt the walls closing up on him, trapping and caging him in his own mind.

Julia had not seen the race. She had been trapped in an office to organize some old notes and data and review them. She didn’t understand the point of it but a small part of her was grateful for the task as it prevented her from thinking about Ethan.She had spent the race week without any news from him beside some texts about pictures he was going to post on his social media to hint that they were dating and saying she should do the same. She didn’t understand what she had done wrong and why he was distant so suddenly.

When it was finally over, she left the room to the notes of the American anthem, telling her that Kyle had once again won the race. If he still kept going he would soon be too far ahead in the drivers championship for someone else to catch up to him. She yawned on her way to the catering. The season had only started and she was already tired of it. She couldn’t wait for the next few months to be in Europe, she could be home much more. For someone who had always loved to be near her loved ones, especially her family, being so far away, jetting from one place to another, having her whole life in a small suitcase… She didn’t like that. Maybe she would handle it a lot better if she was in a team she liked, working with people that valued her. Maybe if she was speaking up, if she was standing up for herself, maybe it would change something? Who was she kidding, of course it wouldn’t change anything. And what good would it make, anyway? She would just end up being yelled at and belittled again. And she didn’t want that.

All of this was reminding her of her school time and the bad memories associated with it. Bad memories that she didn’t want to think about. She was stronger than this. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t see Martin coming in her direction.

“Julia, hey! How are you doing?” he asked enthusiastically.

“Hi. Same old, same old…”

“Have you seen the race? I missed the podium by an inch, but I’m far in front of Elijah and I’m super happy about that. I’m making progress and it’s nice to see them finally paying off!”

“Oh.. nice. Congrats, I guess.”

She knew she was acting like a bitch but frankly, she didn’t care much. Her mind was elsewhere and nowhere at the same time. She just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep. The whole week felt like a whole year's worth of event.

“You don’t seem fine at all…” commented Martin as she was sitting on the floor, soon joined by him.

“I had better days.” she shrugged.

“Ethan had a pretty bad race… He must not feel very good.”

She looked at him, wondering what he meant by a bad race. Did something happen? Did he crash? Sure she knew he was not starting in the best conditions but the recent events couldn’t have affected him this bad.

“He DNF.” explained Martin, seeing her confused face. “I guess you were not aware…”

“It’s just… I didn’t really see him these past few days. A lot of things are going on in the team between Harun’s departure and… other stuff. He just doesn’t have as much time for me as we were used to.”

“Is he okay, though?” there was genuine concern in his voice.

She didn’t know. And she didn’t like the fact that she didn’t know. But she could pretend she knew. So she gave a tight smile to Martin and assured him that he was fine before proceeding to leave.

“I hope you know that you deserve better than someone who doesn’t make you his priority.” she heard him say, making her stop and come back to him.

“His job will always come first. It should come first. Just like mine is my priority. It works that way and we won’t change it.”

“But it shouldn’t, Julia. You should be on top of his list. You would be on mine.”

“But you wouldn’t.” she replied. “Listen Martin… I like you. You are nice and fun and easy to be with and I know that any girl would be lucky to have you. But I’m taken, and you should respect that. You shouldn’t say these kinds of things. Out of respect for me and my relationship.”

She had the feeling she already had this conversation before and she sounded like a broken record. She was tired, slightly anxious, she wanted to know why Ethan was ghosting her and the last thing she needed was Martin messing with her head. Because he usually managed to do it quite well and she hated that.

“I would back off if I knew for sure that you were happy and that you loved him. But I see that it’s not the case. Maybe you love him, but you are not happy.”

“I’m begging you Martin, don’t make things harder than they need to be. It’s wrong.”

She didn’t want to cry. That would put a shitty end to a day that was shitty enough.

“I know it’s wrong Julia, but I can’t help it, okay? It’s killing me to know that I can give you better and show you better than what you have now. I swear I’m trying to stay away from you, but the truth is, I can’t. You don’t even know how much I’m holding back from kissing you.”

She closed her eyes, as if she was physically hurt by his words. She couldn’t stay here for another minute or she didn’t know what could happen. And she didn’t want to find out. She looked at Martin one last time, his black hair sticking to his forehead and his green eyes glued to her as if, without talking, he was trying to convey every single thing he was feeling. She looked away and closed her eyes before turning away from him and walking fast towards the exit as he was calling out her name.

Back to her hotel room, she was surprised to find Ethan, visibly waiting for her. He was still in his team attire which made her think that he had come straight from the paddock to her room without taking the time to go to his room to change. Seeing him brought back a whole range of emotions she didn’t know she had been feeling for him these last few days. Anger, disappointment, feeling like she was replaceable and that she didn’t matter. She passed by him, ignoring him and opened the door to her room. She had barely the time to enter then Ethan followed her and slipped past the opening.

“I don’t remember inviting you in.” she said, coldly.

“Julia…”

“No. No. You ignored me for the whole week. After I’ve been there for you. I listened. I supported you and what did you do? You left me. And ghosted me. And acted as if I had never existed in your life. Barely a text here and there to remind me to post about our relationship. Not even a ‘how are you Julia’. Just ‘post this picture on your story with this caption’. And stupid me, because I did. Because we have a deal and I promised I was going to help you. And here I thought that we, somehow along the way, managed to become friends? Friends don’t treat each other like that. I don’t want to feel shitty because of my friends. That’s not the kind of friendship I will tolerate. I had that once and let me tell you never again.”

“Carla released her statement in the press about me.”

“Yeah and what? Perfect. She made things right, your name is cleaned. Congrats. Now go away.” she turned away from him, putting her things in order. Anything that could make her avoid having eye contact with him.

“I thought… that maybe you would like to know what she said?”

“Does it involve me? Am I being mentioned? Will it change my world? I don’t think so. I’m not going to repeat myself, leave me alone.”

“Come on Joolsie, don’t be like that…'' he sighed, approaching her.

“I’m not someone that will come back to you as soon as you snap your fingers. Maybe it worked with some girls, but not me. You hurt me, okay? Really hurt me. Maybe I deserve an apology? Or even that, you are incapable of?” It was as if all the things she had kept bottled up inside were suddenly coming out. She wanted to hurt him to show him what it felt like. How he made her feel.

“You are being unfair. I’m the one that is dealing with Carla’s revelations and this fucking statement saying “I’m so sorry for the hurt I caused, I’m young and learning from my mistakes and wants to move on’. I’m the one who had a shitty weekend. I have the right to feel blue.”

“And what am I supposed to say? Poor little Ethan, how terrible the world is to you? Spoiler, not everything revolves around you and your problems, okay? I had a shitty day too and a shitty week. My job sucks and my dream is slightly turning into a nightmare because it has nothing to do with how I pictured it to be. It’s unfair and disloyal. I feel used. Constantly. By my boss and now by you. And let me tell you it’s not a great feeling. And you know what? Maybe that after all, Martin is right and I actually deserve better!

“Well if Martin ‘I’ll never be better than second best’ says it, it might be true then! Perfect little Martin, an angel on earth.. If he is so great maybe you should go with him!”

“Maybe I should, yes!”

“Great!”

“But I won’t. Because you might be infuriating, you might be an ass, you might have hurt me but you need me and unlike you, I’m not letting down my friends.”

He didn’t know what to add. Sure, he had acted stupid and he regretted it but he would rather isolate himself and shut everybody out than say something he would regret. He didn’t want people to be around him, asking him constantly if he was doing okay. He didn’t want to pretend. It had always been how he would cope with his feelings. Alone, preferably partying with strangers and flirting with girls. But he couldn’t party anymore and he couldn’t flirt with girls. He was not sure that he wanted to. So the only thing left was loneliness. And he had not complained. He looked at Julia’s furious gaze on him and clenched his jaw. What else could he say? An apology wouldn’t solve anything. So, he nodded and left the room without giving her a second glance.

When Niels had imagined a group activity between friends, it was definitely not what he had in mind. They had landed the day prior in Shanghai and wanted to enjoy a day off from media activities and team meetings. To avoid getting swamped by the crowds and the potential fight, Niels had called the panda zoo to ask if it was possible to book a private tour to which the woman he had on the phone had told him to just give her the time and day and she would make the necessary arrangements. He was so happy to finally be able to spend time with his friends.

But Noah was ignoring him since Julia had caught them and he could feel the awkwardness between the brunette and Ethan that were making all necessary efforts to not stand next to each other, putting their friends between them. Julia was gripping Romy’s arm as if she was her lifebuoy. The German girl was sneaking glances to Kyle who was in between Ludwig and Ethan to try to keep them in check as Ludwig still was very hellbent on bickering with Ethan. But the blond had made it very clear that he was not in the mood and to avoid them getting in a fight, Kyle had decided to abandon Romy to make sure that no one would get hurt on this day. They soon were joined by a girl with a panda backpack and they all guessed that she would be their guide for the day.

“Hello, everyone! A pleasure to meet you, my name is Rose and I’ll be the one in charge of showing you around today! I’m so excited, it’s my first time doing that with famous people, I can’t wait!”

When hearing the name of their tour guide, Ethan couldn’t help but smile and to look over to Julia who was intently listening to the girl talking. If he remembered well, Rose was her middle name. Truly, she was everywhere. When it was not in his thoughts it was in little daily events, as if the universe was trying to give him a nudge that he was very focused on ignoring.

They started the tour but even if the pandas were really cute, he found Julia laughing and taking pictures of everything cuter. She was always asking questions and going into raptures in front of every single panda whether it was a giant one or a red one.

“And this one is my favorite,” started Rose. “Let me introduce you to Po, the oldest of the zoo. Everyone respects him whether it’s his fellow companions or visitors or staff members. He is our mascot.”

“He is so big.” commented Julia, approaching the glass from where you could observe the animals.

“Yeah,most of the time he eats and sleeps.” added Rose.

“That sounds like a you thing. Julia, I think we just found your twin.” joked Ethan, trying to get one of her laugh or smile just for him.

But she only glared at him and kept on ignoring him. Romy noticed the scene and gave an apologetic look to Ethan that only shrugged. He was starting to get used to it. The blonde girl went to Ludwig and whispered something in his ear, making him laugh. Ethan looked over to Kyle who was a little behind with Niels and Noah. The two members of Skoda were much more relaxed than when they had arrived. And soon, they announced to the group that they were leaving, pretending they had somewhere else to go.

“So… when are you going to tell Romy you have feelings for her?” said Ethan , slowing down to meet Kyle who was walking a little behind from the group.

Kyle was so obvious. It was as clear as day that he loved the German driver. The way he was always checking on her, the small gestures like giving her his last tissue, always making sure she was near him when they were together in public places, holding her shopping bags, comforting her when she had a bad race… all these little things. Ethan couldn’t help but think that it was cute. They would make a great couple if they finally decided to go public and stopped denying that they were anything other than great friends.

“I’m not sure she is ready to hear it. It’s casual between us, it’s simple and fun. I don’t want to complicate it. I don’t want to lose her either. I prefer to have half of her than not to have her at all.” explained Kyle, a bittersweet smile on his face.

“So you prefer to suffer in silence?”

“If it’s the price to pay so I can still be with her, then yeah.”

“Okay, Romeo. I still think it’s pretty stupid but you do you.” added Ethan.

“What about you and Julia?”

“Me and Julia what?”

“You love her.” simply said Kyle.

“Me? Loving Julia? What drugs are you on?” shrugged Ethan, trying to hide his embarrassment with a joke.

“Come on, mate. I’ve known you for fifteen years. I’ve never seen you act like that with a girl. It’s obvious for whoever knows you. It just surprises me that she didn’t pick up the signs. You are not that subtle.”

“I’m not in love.” kept on saying Ethan, obstinately. “But I can’t deny that I’m attracted to her.”

“So what are you waiting for to tell her?” asked Kyle.

“Because I’m a coward when it comes to feelings, Kyle.”

They finally reached the last stop of their tour. The medical center. Rose explained to them how they were keeping track of the pandas' health. They visited some of them and Julia couldn’t resist taking one in her arms after asking if it was okay. The red panda, comfortably resting against her chest, she let Romy snap a few pictures before giving back the little creature to the doctor. They wandered in the center for a few minutes visiting rooms after room before they finally went to the last one. Julia entered first, followed by Ethan and that’s when they heard the door closing and locking behind them, trapping them inside.

Their friends had a really special sense of humor. Ethan tried to unlock the door but they had to admit it, they were stuck inside the panda’s medical room.

“Guys! It’s not funny. Let us out!” Julia screamed banging against the door. She could hear their friends laughing from the other side.

“Not before you finally solve whatever is going on between you. We can’t stand being in the middle of your little war. So you’ll get out when you guys will be friends again!” said Romy.

“Bye guys, have fun!” added Ludwig.

Julia let herself slide along the door to the ground and sighed. She didn’t have anything to say to Ethan, she had let out everything she felt in this hotel room, in Japan.

“I think you owe me an apology.” she said, avoiding looking at him.

“I think you do too.”

“Never going to happen. It’s not me who has been ghosting you and who is sending me mixed signals all the time!”

“Mixed signals? Mixed signals? I know someone else who is very good at having it both ways.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“I’ve never said it was you, but maybe if you are feeling targeted it means something.”

“If you could decide whether you hate me, you like me or we are nothing else but a convenient deal I wouldn’t feel the need to try to protect myself, you asshole!”

“Fuck Julia, I’m attracted to you, okay! I.. You don’t even know how much I’m restraining myself to not grab you by the waist right now and pin you against the wall and take off your clothes to do to you all the things I have in mind.”

She had never felt so hot and she was sure that she was fully red.

“But… but.. Why?” she stuttered, as if the information was so hard to process, which was the case.

“I don’t know! I just know that you drive me crazy. Most of the time I’m conflicted between suffocating you or kissing you to shut you up. You were right, sharing this room in Singapore was a bad idea, now I can’t think straight and clearly when you are around.”

“I… well. It’s flattering. I guess? I think… I’m attracted to you too. And it’s making everything even more complicated but it’s logical I think. We are spending a lot of time together, we are sharing secrets no one knows about. You’ve seen me at my worst and I’ve seen you at yours. It’s only fair that we created a bond deeper than just friendship.”

“But what are we supposed to do? How do we do to be… unattracted to each other, now?” asked Ethan.

“Some would say that we should just give in to the temptation…” she replied, looking at her feet.

Ethan slid against the wall in front of her and stretched his leg.

“That would be a disastrous idea. Because it would blur the lines and it would complicate things. We can’t do that, Joolsie.”

“We are both attracted to each other. Maybe we just need one night. And then we forget and we can move on.” she tried to argue.

“No. You don’t deserve to feel used. I’m an asshole but I can’t do that. I have too much respect for you. Would you have been any other girl, I would have said yes. But you are not. You are Julia. There is too much history between us.”

“I can’t believe that on this topic you are the reasonable one… it doesn’t make any sense!” she was clearly frustrated now.

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either. We are hard launching next week. Maybe we can use all this pent up frustration to make our so-called love story more realistic. Maybe it’s not a bad thing. We hard launch and then maybe some distance would do us good. The last few weeks have been pretty intense.”

“Yeah… to think things through. Maybe it’s all in our heads. Maybe it’s just meaningless and it will go away as soon as we are away from each other. It’s just attraction, people are attracted to other people all the time. It doesn’ necessarily mean something.” she said.

“Exactly.” he agreed.

She stood up.

“But if whatever is going on between us doesn’t go away?”

“Then we will go with your solution.”

And Julia, deep down, hoped that the attraction would not disappear any time soon.

Author's note: They finally said it!! It's still not where we all want them to be but it's still something. There is progress. What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x oc #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #max vertsappen #f1 story

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skzhocomments · 2 years ago

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I can read your smile - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter 20 - Confessions (Final Chapter)

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 19

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Chapter 20 - Confessions (Final Chapter)

word count: 3k words

Minho's team ended up winning the game 3-2 after Minho's newfound excitement and encouragement towards the team, which proved crucial for the morale of his teammates.

Crystal knew he was going to go celebrate with the team, and he's also invited their group of friends, but she really didn't have it in her to go. She was weary, her heart felt small in her chest, and she just wanted to lay in bed.

Before leaving the stadium, she grabbed Lydia and Jude's hands.

"What is it, babe?" Lydia asked.

"Do you girls have any plans tonight?" She whispered, making sure the other boys didn't hear her.

"Besides the celebration for Minho's victory?" Jude asked.

"No. What's wrong?" Lydia shook her head.

"I just... I can't go to the celebration tonight. Can we have a sleepover at one of yours?"

"What's up?" Key asked them loudly, seeing that the three girls stopped walking behind them.

"Crystal is not feeling well, so we're gonna go back to mine. Tell Minho we're sorry we can't join tonight." Lydia shouted and urged their friends to go away.

"Thanks." She gave the girls a small smile.

They headed to Lydia's place, and Crystal told them everything, from the date Minho had with Julia, to how they've almost kissed again at his birthday and during Christmas, and she told them about their intense make-out session in the locker room and how confused it made her feel.

Her two friends listened in closely and hugged the girl tightly when she was done talking between her sobs.

"I think he does like you, honestly." Jude said after Crystal calmed down a bit.

"Then why doesn't he tell me anything?"

"Why don't you tell him anything? Relationships are a two-way street." Lydia asked matter-of-factly.

"I mean, I don't know, Lydia, I kinda did more than enough, I think. I literally asked him to fuck me. What more should I do?"

"And then you ran away from his celebration party." Lydia said.

"And you're avoiding him. He's called and messaged you, what, six times since we came here?" Jude spoke as well, pointing at Crystal's phone, that was still ringing, Minho's name displayed in bold letters on the screen.

"Give him a chance to talk to you, and you will find out if he does like you." Jude pressed her hand on top of hers and comforted her.

"But I'm scared. What if... he'll just reject me again?"

"Then you'll get over it, as you've done last time."

"Yea, I soooo got over it. Look at me." Crystal chuckled ironically. "I know you're right. Should I just go home?"

"If you're ready to talk to him, you should."

"I'll... I'll call him back." She hesitantly grabbed her phone and pressed on her call history, dialling Minho's number, who responded immediately.

"Crystal! How are you feeling? Taemin said you were sick. Where are you? At Lydia's?"

"Yes... I'm feeling better, so I'll come home..." She said and watched her friends nod in encouragement.

"I'll come get you. 15 minutes and I'll be there, okay?"

"Aren't you still at the party?" Crystal chuckled.

"Fuck the party. They're all drunk already." He laughed.

"And what about you?" She laughed as well.

"Look at her flirting through the phone." Jude shook her head, and Lydia slapped her back playfully. Crystal threw them a nasty glance.

"Not enough. Unless you celebrate with me, I won't even drink!"

"Okay, then you better buy something." She smiled, and he told her he'll call when he gets there.

Minho came in a taxi and Crystal was amused to notice that he listened to her and bought a few bottles of alcohol. Some vodka, some tequila, beer... it was like he was throwing another party at home, not like it was just going to be the two of them.

He was no longer in his uniform, he was now wearing a casual pair of jeans and a buttoned-up white shirt, and he was so handsome, fucking hell. She tried not to look too much, for her heart fluttered and her cheeks grew red.

Once they got home, they started drinking and talked about random things, laughing and looking at each other. Crystal's chest felt lighter, even if she was still confused. Seeing him was enough to calm her down, apparently.

She doesn't know how many shots she downed, but she was starting to get really sleepy.

"I'm a bit tipsy." She slurred her words with a chuckle.

"Yea? We should go to bed." He chuckled as well, noticing the slight red tint in her cheeks. She was cute, sprawled on the floor like that in her little sundress – the same one he fucked her in earlier.

"Yea." She replied. "Pick me up!" With her arms outstretched, she started giggling like a little kid, making Minho laugh once again.

Still, he complied and got up from the floor, going to her and leaning over, so she could grab onto him as he picked her up. Her hands moved at the back of his neck, as her legs hugged his torso.

Perhaps he should've taken her to her own room, if he were not so intoxicated. Tuck her into bed and kiss her forehead good night, like a good friend was supposed to do. But sleeping next to her felt way too appealing at the moment, when they were both fairly drunk, so he marched right to his room and placed her softly on his bed, plopping down next to her, just as he did every night they've been studying together.

She turned to face him and smiled slowly, and both closed their eyes to sleep.

Some time later, though, with the alcohol almost gone from her system, Crystal opened her eyes and glanced around her in the dark. Minho was breathing regularly next to her, which told her he's asleep, and he was close to her. So close, she just had to raise her hand a bit to touch him.

His shirt rode up, exposing his abdomen, and she couldn't help herself. Her fingers slowly and hesitantly grazed the exposed skin of his abdominal muscles and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

She wanted to touch him more.

Fuck.

She hesitated, her fingers hovering just above him, when he grabbed her hand and placed it flat down on his stomach.

"Curious?" He said in a low, groggy voice. "Touch me properly."

Her cheeks heated up at his proposal, and they only grew hotter as her palm was now touching his muscles. She moved it around to explore him as carefully as possible, wanting to remember this moment. Even if they fucked earlier, this was different. It felt more intimate. She got to touch him in ways she couldn't before.

They were both intoxicated. Yes. That's it. That's why he's letting her do this. She tried rationalising, as he moved his hand away from hers and started opening up the buttons on his shirt, one by one.

Fuck.

Moving her hand up his body, to his chest, she felt him more.

She was breathing heavily, and she wanted him again so badly. She kept replying in her head how hard he fucked her earlier, and she wanted him again, and again, and again. She could handle confusion, as long as she could have him, and it would be so easy to have him inside of her again, with what she was wearing...

"What are you thinking of?" He asked, almost in a whisper. It was funny, he's been asking her this question so often, especially while studying together, but it had such a different impact on her, in this context.

"I'm not sure I should be telling you..." She replied.

"Why not? I want to hear it. I want to know all your thoughts."

"Because... are you still drunk?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Then even more so."

"But I want you to tell me. Do you like touching me?"

"I do."

"I also like it." He whispered. "Tell me." His face came closer to her, and her breath hitched in her throat.

"Okay. I was thinking of how easy it would be to pull my underwear to the side and feel you slip inside of me... just like we did earlier in that locker room." She answered in a breath, feeling him stiff under her touch.

Did she say the wrong thing?

He insisted on knowing, though.

Minho breathed in deeply.

"Don't say it twice, or I might end up taking you up on the offer..." He replied slowly, as if in deep thought. This was her chance to make it clear that she wanted this, that she wanted him, and that earlier has not been just a mistake, or a spur of the moment thing.

"... please, Min." She whispered.

He moved his hand and touched her neck, then moved it down her side, dragging it painfully slowly down her body. His thumb grazed her nipple, but he didn't halt. Instead, he kept going down, his hand now steadily on her waist. He moved it down again, reaching the hem of her dress and squeezing her thigh.

His breathing was also ragged as he took her left leg and placed it on his hip, so she was straddling him from the side.

He removed his pants and underwear swiftly, and she moved her panties to the side, just as she proposed.

When his tip lined up with her entrance, instead of pushing in, he started moving his member around, collecting her wetness. She whined. She just wanted to feel him back inside of her, but he wanted to tease her like this.

"You're so wet." He whispered, and his tone made it sound more like a praise.

"I want you so bad." She replied, and he closed his eyes and breathed in again. It was getting hard to control himself, to not let his primal urges overcome his rationale.

He lined himself up with her again and moved his head closer to hers on the pillow. His hand was on her hip, fingers digging in her skin to keep her in place as he slipped into her, forming a steady rhythm. She briefly thought about how he'll mark his way onto her skin, how his fingertips will become faint purple marks on her tomorrow morning.

He made her moan loudly. So loudly, she started feeling a bit ashamed by the obscene sounds coming out of her mouth. She's never been this loud with anyone else before, not even with him, earlier in the locker room. Maybe the room was too quiet, so it was easier to hear herself.

He thrust himself into her deeply, and he moved his head to kiss her passionately. He wanted to kiss her more, to bite her lips swollen. He was intoxicated with her. He wanted to taste every bit he could, and he did.

His movements were haste, and he grazed her sweet spot with each thrust, making her come undone so quickly, she was almost embarrassed.

The embarrassment washed down when he came just as quickly, his movements sloppy. She felt his warm release dripping out of her on her legs, on the sheets; she was sure they made a mess, their liquids combined in small stains under them.

Even after they both came down from their highs, they continued kissing hungrily, as if they knew that tomorrow it would be just a bit harder to kiss than it was tonight.

He moved his body on top of hers and felt himself get hard again at the sight of her under him, so beautiful, with red lips and small hickeys he made on her neck with his bites just hours prior.

He slid into her again, and kept fucking her, moving his mouth from her jaw to her neck, to her collarbones, to her breasts – thank God this sundress she wore today offered such an easy access to her breasts! He took the fabric down and caressed them with his hands, taking her left nipple in his mouth and sucking on it, grazing it with his teeth ever so gently.

"Fucking hell." Crystal moaned.

"Come for me again baby." He said, but he didn't have to say it twice – she came undone harder than the first time, clenching her legs around his torso, her toes curling. She held onto him with her legs and arms, and he came inside her again.

He stayed on top of her for a while, both panting rapidly, their chests going up and down with each hurried breath.

"Crystal, I need to tell you something." He placed both his hands on her face, urging him to look in his eyes.

"Me too." She glanced deep into his brown eyes, and she realised she couldn't deny it anymore. She opened her mouth to say it, but before she got the chance, he told her first.

"I love you." Minho kissed her. "I love you, I love you, I love you." He kissed her again, and again, and again.

"I love you too." She chuckled and felt a few tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"I wish I told you sooner."

"Yea..." Crystal averted her eyes for a bit, before looking back into his. "You told me now, though."

"It sounds so cheesy, but..." He chuckled. "Can I be your boyfriend?"

She burst out laughing. "It does sound cheesy," She raised her head from the pillow and pecked his lips, then let her body fall back down, "but yes."

"We should go wash up."

"Yea." She nodded, and he got up from her and helped her sit up.

Grabbing her hand, he guided her towards the bathroom on the hallway and urged her to get into the shower. He pushed her in with his body and got in with her, and Crystal almost forgot how to breathe, since the space was so narrow. They barely fit in. Still, he seemed adamant about showering with her, and he turned on the hot water, letting it fall down their now naked bodies.

Crystal's back was against the wall and Minho trapped her body with his arms and kissed her slowly. Their mouths were wet from the water spraying down on them, but neither of them minded it too much, as long as they could keep kissing each other.

Minho moved his mouth from her lips to her cheek, to her jaw, and he started going down, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouth kisses all over her body as he kneeled down in front of her. He wanted to worship her so badly, to make up for all the time he's lost being a coward, and no matter how much he tasted her, his thirst just couldn't be quenched.

He took her right leg and placed it over his shoulder to help her keep her balance as he connected his mouth to her pussy, kissing it vigorously. She started to moan again, and placed her right hand on his head, caressing his soft hair while he was brushing his tongue over her sweet spot over and over again.

She wasn't sure if she could handle another orgasm, but the way Minho's mouth worked against her core combined with the steam from the hot water that was falling on her mercilessly made her head dizzy.

Fuck, he was too good at this. It's like he already knew her body perfectly, as he licked between her folds just right. Nothing and no one could even begin to compare to how good he was making her feel yet again, and she allowed herself to get lost in the pleasure he was bringing her. Soon enough, her legs started trembling powerfully as she felt that knot in her lower stomach come undone for the third time that night, and she couldn't stand anymore.

Minho quickly caught on and placed her leg back on the floor as he stood up and supported her weight, embracing her.

"Fucking hell." She mumbled, making him chuckle. "I don't think my body can handle one more."

"You did well." He praised her, caressing her back slowly, letting the water wash her. "Now let's wash up for real."

She held onto him as he covered her body in wash gel, as he rinsed it off, and as they both stepped out of the shower, wiping down with a large towel.

Going back to his room, they laid on the bed, and Crystal placed her head on Minho's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." He said quietly, caressing the back of her head gently. "I promise I'll never do it again."

The girl was already fast asleep and didn't hear him, but he didn't mind. Her naked body was warm against his, she smelled of vanilla, and she was finally his.

The next morning, Crystal found the bed empty, but on Minho's desk, there was a box of Belgian Chocolate - her favourites - and a note saying "I'm at the gym. I love you."

Perhaps everything will finally be okay, and she's found that place she so desperately wanted to call home.

And that would be Minho.

~5 months later~

The summer holiday came with a big change in Minho's and Crystal's lives, as both of them glanced up to the big building they were going to be working in.

Choi Enterprises.

Minho, for a permanent role, as he was finally done with Uni, and Crystal as an intern, in the role of assistant manager, the position offered to her by Mr. Choi so many months ago during Christmas.

Despite it being nerve wrecking, both were excited to start a new chapter, and most importantly, they were both happy.

They were looking forward to the rest of their lives together.

~The END~

---

(A/N) Thank you so much for reading ''I can read your smile"!

I hope you enjoyed it, and that you'll read my other works as well.

Love,

Storm

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hozierandco · 4 years ago

Text

Sam Fender x Reader / call me lover

Friends to lovers. Lots of fluff.

Plot: Y/N and Sam have been friends for as long as they can remember but growing up has led them to grow apart. There are many things they have to tell one another.

The thing with kids is that they grow up. Too quickly, with too much silence surrounding them.

Sam was a boy, Y/N was a girl but to one another, they were just friends. They had known each other for as long as they could recall and had not doubted one second that they were just friends. Of course, there were the subtle questions from their parents, the hesitation when Sam would spend the night at Y/N's but their parents too knew it was just friendship.

Although they agreed that with all the secrets and trust they shared, they would be the best of couples, they thought it to be too pure to be broken.

Their friends too believed that it would inevitably happen, that they would end up together. Of all people, Dru was the most persistent on the matter. He had known Y/N for a longer time than Sam since Y/N's mother was the doula and a close friend to Drew's. Therefore, the two of them considered each other as siblings.

He liked to tease Sam to make him confess a crush he would have on Y/N. To no avail.

And then, there had been Y/N's first boyfriend when she was 15. At a time in his life when he was still playing Fifa in his room when he was not toying with his piano, he had to endure his best friend clung to her boyfriend's arm.

For the first time, he felt repulsed by the sight of Y/N but mostly by that of the Alex Turner wannabe her heart had fallen for. He began writing about love and deception though he had no reason to have known either.

Of course, the idyll was cut short with Alex Turner #2 coming back from summer camp without his virginity anymore, exploit he felt the need to share with the whole school.

Sam and Drew had come to Y/N's rescue the day at school and together, they had eaten pizza and waited for Y/N's tears to disappear. It was the world against them from now on, and nothing could change that.

Sam had worked his ass off to make Y/N proud and had done all he could for his A-levels. In spite of all the intensity and long hours of going over Horatio Nelson and the Boer War with Y/N, he gave up and started working in a pub. He was to be a musician, no matter what.

His fingers got crooked because of his guitar, his voice sore but at last, he was given a festival to play at. Drew would be there too of course.

As for Y/N, she had started working in an architect's office while studying at the local Uni.

Things got so fast. The kids grew and were soon overwhelmed with new responsibilities. Y/N had a new life for herself and Sam was about to tour before releasing his debut album. When he found out that a label had signed him up, the three friends along with Dean and Joe had screamed their lungs out.

It had come out of the blue that Joe fancied Y/N and it had also come out of the blue that Sam didn't like this turn of event.

The tour meant that they would not see each other for at least half a year as Sam's studio was in London. They had never been away from one another for so long so the day Sam left North Shields, it felt like the soil was crumbling under her feet.

Y/N informed herself of Sam's whereabouts through Dru as Sam didn't reply to her texts. Dru was regularly implying to his friend that he should call her every now and then, but he was always "too busy". Just like that, silent formed around them.

"Sam, call her", Dru begged one more time.

Sam sighed. He did not dare calling her, he felt as though he had let time rule his emotions. The more distance he put between them, the harder it was to think of something to say. Sure, he was busy but he always had been busy.

"You know what day it is today, don't you?"

Sam stared with round eyes at Dru.

"It's her bloody birthday, Sam. Just call her, okay?"

Dru had taken Sam's phone from his coat that was lying on the floor and forced Sam to take it.

Sam went to the room, right next to where he was and dialled Y/N's number, ending up on the voicemail "Hi! I hope that the voicemail just indicates that you're getting hammered somewhere and I also wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, I wish I could make it up to you. I miss you and I love you"

It was not until the message got sent that he realised what he had just said. Sam knew that opening up always led him to say too much and he couldn't take the risk to lose Y/N.

"What's wrong?" Dru asked when he saw Sam visibly agitated.

"I screwed up"

"You just had one call to make, how can you screw up a call?"

"I said something I shouldn't have. I told her that I loved her"

"As in I love you?"

"Yeah, I mean it's not something we say to each other"

"And do you? Love her?"

"Yes, Dru. I think I do. I think I always loved her"

"Well then, you haven't screwed up. You've just made things easier"

Days went by without a word from Y/N and Sam to pass time was playing with his phone a couple of times a day, not knowing what or if he should write to her. But then it got worrying, he feard that something had happened to her.

"D'you have news of Y/N?", he confronted Dru one night.

"She didn't say that she loves you back, huh?"

"She hasn't said anything at all, in fact. Is she alright?"

"That's odd. Yeah, she's fine, I just got a text from her, not even ten minutes ago. I can ask her to reach out for you if you want"

Dru is a magician as not only five minutes later, Sam's phone buzzed.

Y/N: Dru said you called on my birthday. My phone was off, you should have left a message... Sam: I did! You didn't listen to it? Y/N: I didn't get anything... Sam: Can I call you now? Y/N: No, not tonight. I'll call you tomorrow morning, good? Sam: Yes :)

Sam was not a morning person but he woke up as early as he could. He waited and finally she called. On FaceTime. She looked radiant, unlike him who severely lacked of sleep.

"Hey!"

Bring the tone down, Fender, Sam thought. You're gonna freak her out.

"Hi, sorry I couldn't call you yesterday. It's good to see you"

Just like that, one moving still of Sam was enough to have her mood lit up.

"So, can't make a voicemail work, huh?" Y/N joked around.

"I promise you, it worked. I don't know what happened but it's good I get to tell you like that"

"Tell me what?"

"Well, first that I'm sorry I've been an idiot lately. It's just that I've missed you so much and I wanted to see you and I couldn't stop thinking of you all the time"

An unfamiliar noise of a plate falling.

"Garlic's going on an adventure?" Sam referred to Y/N's cat that was known to be the clumsiest cat on Earth and that Sam had helped naming six years prior.

The distraction was much needed as Sam was blushing and it started showing on camera.

"Let me just go somewhere quieter"

As Y/N left her living room for her bedroom, Sam saw the silhouette of a man trying to assemble the splinters the plate had left behind.

"Sorry for that. What were you saying?"

"Nothing. I'm just sorry I didn't call you earlier and I hoped that you had a great birthday..."

"You sure there was nothing else"

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure"

The two of them chatted for another 5 minutes when the conversatio became awkward.

Y/N was certain when she hung up that Sam was about to reveal his feelings. And she would have let him. In fact, she would have revealed hers as well.

But Dan had to be in the way. Or was it Ian? Stan? Y/N had always done this. When she was thinking of Sam too much, she was collecting men to share the night with.

She never got attached to anybody but liked to wake up by a man's side.

A few weeks later, Dru called Y/N with good news.

"We've got some rest from the tour. We'll be at Shields for a month or so. I cannot wait to see you again, little sister!"

Y/N had set her mind to meet them at the train station from where she would get in the tour bus with them. Since Sam's aborted declaration, Y/N had not gotten any news from him and was not taking any.

When the van arrived and its doors opened, Dru ran to Y/N and hugged her "Ah, come here, you!"

There was a new face amongst the original team.

"Hi, I'm Lisa" the stranger introduced herself. By gazing that her hand was in Sam's, Y/N took a wild guess that the two of them were a thing.

"Nice to finally meet you. You're the 5th Beatle or so it seems. The boys could not shut up about you"

Y/N grinned at Dru and fainted a smile towards Sam. Unfortunately, she couldn't say as much for Lisa and blamed Dru to have kept it a secret.

Lisa was gorgeous, it was undeniable. Her posh accent had made the journey with her and contrasted with hers and the boys'. As long as Sam is happy, I'm happy, Y/N tried to convince herself as she got in the van.

"So, pub?" Dru asked. It was not even 5 pm but the idea seemed to everyone's taste.

"I'll join you later if that's alright. Joe, can you drop me off? I've got a few things to do before I join"

"You alright?" Dru whispered at her as he was seated next to her in the back of the van.

"Yeah, I'm fine" but as she answered, she stared a little too long at Lisa and her brown curls, her tanned skin and her perfect Julia Roberts smile.

"It's Lisa, huh? I don't like her either. Too posh for Sammy"

"I've never said I didn't like her"

"Then what?" Dru hesitated and then exclaimed "Oh!"

As he had nearly shouted, all of the boys and Lisa turned around to laugh at his looks of bewilderment.

Dru shushed himself down as his friends took the piss at him "Finally got the epiphany that you're ugly, Michael?" Dean mocked him.

As Dru brushed the joke and everything went back to normal, he went on with his whispering "You fancy Sam?"

Y/N simply nodded which got Dru leaning back in his seat, stirred by the confession.

"There, you go, princess" Joe stated as he had parked right in front of Y/N's flat.

They all greeted Y/N goodbye and agreed that they would see each other at 7. Sam did not dare looking at her in the eye. He knew he should have said something about Lisa but he had not come around it, why would he since she had her own life now?

As she opened the door, Y/N started tearing up a little, stunned by all the events. She seized her phone and sent a text.

By 6.15, the intercom rang. Y/N had changed into a wrap dress made of sequins and black heels.

"Hey!", she exclaimed to the man who was waiting by the door. This one was Chris, a chap she had seen some days prior. He reminded her of Alfred Enoch somehow with his chiseled jaw and round cheeks. Y/N didn't feel like being alone tonight and Chris was good company.

"Y/N, here!" Joe informed as he was in charge of getting a new round of drinks "By the table over there. Oh hi" he said to the stranger "I'm Joe"

Chris was by far the best-dressed man there as, clearly not familiar to pubs, he was wearing an open white shirt over brown chinos.

Dru and Tom made some space for Y/N and Chris to sit once Y/N had introduced everyone to her date.

The conversation was very much alive by 8 except for the fact that Lisa and Chris felt left out as it was all about childhood memories and family-related topics.

Sam was all eyes for Y/N. It was as though nothing awkward had ever happened between them and as though they were kids all over again.

In an effort to include Chris in the night's ambiance, Y/N asked him to dance with her. She hoped by that that she could get a reaction from Sam as dancing was THEIR thing.

At her birthday parties, they were always the two ones inventing silly dance moves on cheap Eurodance. As teens, they would always wiggle at gigs while the rest of the audience would look at them tenderly.

"I should get going. I've got a meeting in the morning" Chris let Y/N know as a song by Marvin Gaye ended. It was only 10 pm but Y/N didn't hold him back.

"C'mon, Sam. Invite her to dance, you're dreaming of it" Lisa rushed him. "She's your best friend after all"

What if he didn't want to be her best friend anymore?

Sam got up and joined Y/N. Tonight, he would tell her the truth. Not tomorrow, tonight.

"May I accompany you?"

"Yes, you may. Lisa's not into dancing?"

"I don't know but I'm into dancing with you"

"He's in love with her, isn't he?" Lisa asked Dru who had just ordered more drinks.

"Yeah, I think he is.. I'm sorry"

"Don't be, it's no big deal. Sam and I were just fooling around anyway. She's sweet, just what he needs"

"They just have to admit it now"

"So, Chris.. You two are together for long?" Sam asked.

"No, I mean technically we're not together. We've met twice with tonight"

"He seems nice"

"Yeah, I suppose. You and Lisa?"

"About the same: couple of weeks, nothing too serious"

"What did you mean to tell me last time?"

"Last time?"

"Yeah, you were saying that you missed me and all"

"Well, yeah. Touring without you sucked. I've missed you every fucking day. I want to be with you all the time. It's always been like that me and you"

"I missed you too, Sam"

The song had changed.

"What I'm about to say could ruin what we have but I just have to say it: I've always loved you, Y/N. It took me a whole ass tour to realise that. It's what I told you on the voicemail"

"I love you too, you idiot!"

Dru admired Lisa's ability to remain amicable even when she understood that Sam and Y/N had just confessed their feelings. He had judged her badly and saw what Sam had seen in her: a genuine goodness.

Sam was eager to kiss Y/N but had to make sure that Lisa was alright. He wanted more than anything else in the world Y/N and him to be together but he couldn't do it like that.

He turned around to Lisa only to see her kissing Dru. Sam shook his head and turned back on Y/N who was laughing at this sudden act of PDA.

Sam laughed along and then joined his lips to Y/N's.

#sam fender #imagines #fluff #friends to lovers

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drabbles-mc · 4 years ago

Text

With Me

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Request by Anon: I absolutely loved the new Nestor fics!! Can i request “(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.” with him????

Warnings: light angst (with a happy ending), language, Nestor being ~jealous and protective~

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Sorry my blog has been kinda dead lately. Been struggling with some work stuff and it’s given me a bit of writer’s block. I’m hoping to get back to it. Just know that if you sent me a request I am totally planning on writing for it, it just might not happen quickly. And I’m hoping to update my multi-chaps soon as well. Thanks for all your patience. Enjoy this lil Nestor one-shot! xo

General Mayans/Nestor Taglist: @mayans-sauce @thesandbeneathmytoes @paintballkid711 @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @queenbeered @sillygoose6969 @sesamepancakes @yourwonkywriter @chibsytelford @gemini0410 @multiyfandomgirl40 @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach @twistnet @garbinge @amandinesblogofstuff @bucky-iss-bae @the-radical-venus

You were sitting on the barstool next to Nestor’s, both of you commiserating over how exhausting your weeks had been. Work was very different for the two of you, obviously, but you were both drained nonetheless.

The bar you went to was a quiet one. It was mostly business men and women doing the same thing the two of you were—blowing off steam after a long week. People didn’t pay the two of you much mind, which suited you just fine. You and Nestor had a habit of getting lost in your own little bubble anyway.

You were about to jump into your next work story when your phone started going off in your pocket. You glanced over at Nestor as if to ask if it was alright to answer. He nodded and you lifted the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” you paused, smiling, “Hey, baby. Nothing, I’m at the bar with Nestor. Do you wanna st—” you stopped, expression falling, “Oh, okay. No, I get it. I’ll talk to you later. Yea, you too. Bye.”

You hung up with a heavy sigh. Nestor sat silently for a moment before asking, “All good?”

You nodded, rolling your eyes, “Yea. Cancelled again.”

Even though he knew the answer, he still asked, “Dante?”

“Mhm,” you shook your head slightly, wondering why you were still at all surprised.

Nestor bit back the snide comments swirling around in his brain. He had never been a fan of Dante, and he let you know that. Nestor wasn’t ever rude to him, but they weren’t friends either. You knew that it didn’t help that your boyfriend was intimidated by Nestor, even if he never admitted it.

“That mean you have time for another drink?” he tried to lighten the mood.

You laughed, “Means I have time for a few more,” you immediately flagged down the bartender to order another round for both of you.

A few quickly turned into…more than that for you. Nestor tried to get you to slow down but he knew that it was a losing battle at that point. The best he could do for you was to take your keys, so he did. He knew that after an already shitty week, this was the final straw, but he still hated to see you so drained and frustrated and still trying to pretend that you were alright.

“Fuck him,” you blurted out as Nestor helped you stumble-walk to his car.

He chuckled, “I know.”

He let you rant the whole drive to your apartment about how fed up you were with your boyfriend. He wondered if you’d remember it all in the morning and finally, maybe, break up with him. Nestor knew he was biased, but you deserved better. He told you that constantly, but you always waved him off, saying it wasn’t that bad.

“Your relationship should be better than just not bad, Y/N,” trying to talk sense to you in the state that you were in was futile, but he still had to try.

“You’re so sweet, Nestor,” you cooed tiredly from the passenger seat.

He didn’t respond, not wanting to feed into words you wouldn’t remember in the morning. He glanced over at you a couple minutes later and saw that you’d fallen asleep. There was no stopping the smile that spread across his face at the sight of you.

Before he knew it, he was parking in front of your apartment building. As much as he didn’t want to wake you, he knew he had to. He got out and walked over to your side of the car, nudging you awake. You groaned in protest, but allowed him to help you out of the vehicle.

He was thankful that you only lived on the second floor of your building. With a sigh, he knocked on the door. He’d already let your roommate know that he was bringing you home. She opened the door, clearly exhausted and bundled up in her bathrobe.

“Sorry,” he offered up as he crossed the threshold into the apartment.

She shook her head, “Don’t be. Thanks for getting her home safely.”

He helped you to your room, gently lowering you onto the bed. You had no desire to change into pajamas and it wasn’t a battle that Nestor was going to pick. He pulled the blanket up over you, letting out a quiet sigh as he lightly rested his hand on your shoulder for a moment.

Not wanting to linger for too long, he turned and walked back towards your bedroom door. He heard you mumble out a quiet thank you, and he smiled to himself as he shut the door behind him.

Your roommate was still in the living room, an expectant look on her face, “Can I ask what happened to her?”

Nestor sighed and shrugged, “Shit with Dante.”

She shook her head, “Of course.”

“They have a lot of issues lately?”

She shot him a curious look, “No more than usual, I guess. Why?”

“He’s a waste of her fucking time.”

She bit back a laugh, knowing that Nestor was extra protective of you. She had a pretty good idea of why, too, “No, really, tell me how you really feel,” she smiled.

“Come on, you see it too, right? He doesn’t deserve her. She doesn’t belong with him.”

She fought back the urge to smile, “Who does she belong with, then?”

“With me,” the words came out before he could stop them. His eyes went wide, instantly realizing what he had said. Before he could try to take it back, though, she held up her hand to stop him.

“You ever gonna say anything to her about that?”

He shook his head, “What’s the point?”

She shrugged, “You might be more convincing than you think. That’s all.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, “Mhm,” he sighed, “Anyway. Sorry for barging in so late.”

She chuckled, “Don’t worry about it.”

“I can take her to get her car tomorrow.”

She nodded, “Sounds good. Have a good night.”

“You too,” he walked out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him.

He was mentally kicking himself the whole drive home. Why he wasn’t able to catch himself before he said anything was beyond him—he was usually better than that. He just hoped that your roommate wouldn’t say anything to you about it.

You woke up the next morning with a groan, and a throbbing sensation in your head. You had a vague set of memories from the night before, but it was hard to think about it through the hangover. You slowly forced yourself to sit upright, gently rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You checked your phone and saw that you had multiple missed texts from your boyfriend, and that was when it all really came rushing back. You let out a heavy sigh, making the conscious choice to ignore him for the time being. You weren’t done being upset with him.

You slowly made your way to the kitchen for coffee and aspirin. You heard your roommate chuckling from the living room and shook your head, “Don’t.”

She laughed, “What are you talking about? I didn’t say anything.”

You sighed as you poured coffee into your mug, “You don’t have to. I already know what you’re going to say.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

You threw back a few aspirin before turning to look at your friend, “You’re going to say that he is more stress than he’s worth, and that I should’ve left him about ten cancelled dates ago.”

She nodded, “And the number will keep getting higher the longer you put it off.”

You shook your head slightly, “I know it’s shitty, Julia. I’m not an idiot.”

“I never said that you were. But you know that if the roles were reversed you would be telling me the same thing.”

You let out a dry laugh, “Since when do I ever take my own advice?”

“Maybe you should start,” she paused for a moment, “Nestor said he’d take you to go get your car, by the way.”

“Fuck,” you groaned, “My car. Didn’t even think about that.”

She shrugged, “Call him. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to come and whisk you away.”

You chuckled as you got your phone out to text him, “You make it sound so extravagant.”

“He’s a good guy, you know,” she sipped on her coffee.

You looked over at her, “Don’t.”

“What? I’m just…stating a fact.”

You took another swig of your coffee and walked away without another word on the matter, desperate to take a shower and put some more comfortable clothes on. You couldn’t remember the last time you fell asleep in your work clothes like that.

By the time you were done showering and getting ready, Nestor was already outside your apartment building. You said goodbye to your roommate, trying to make it was quick as possible before she could say anything else. On a couple other occasions, before Dante, she had made comments about you and Nestor. She laid off of it once you got a boyfriend, though, so you were wondering what made her pick the habit back up again.

You collapsed into the passenger seat of Nestor’s car with a sigh. He looked over at you, smiling, “Looks like you had a rough one last night.”

“Thank you so much for bringing me home. I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t be. Glad I could help,” he paused, “You talk to him at all?”

You sighed, “No. I don’t even want to at this point. He’s just gonna apologize and say it won’t happen again. But it will.”

“Why are you wasting your time with him, then?” he kept his tone fairly neutral considering how much the situation bothered him.

You shrugged, “Sometimes I’m not even sure, honestly. Sunk cost, maybe? I don’t know. Breakups are always so messy.”

“I can deliver the message for you,” there was a lightness to his tone but you knew that he definitely would.

“Ha, that would be a sight for sure,” you laughed, shaking your head.

The rest of the ride passed with silence between the two of you, the only noise coming from the music playing quietly from the car radio. Every now and then you’d look over at Nestor, thinking about what your roommate had said. With concentrated effort you were able to push the thoughts from your mind.

“I’m just saying,” he said out of nowhere as he pulled into the parking lot of the bar, “you deserve someone who, at minimum, fucking shows up for you.”

You smiled at him, “I appreciate it, Nestor,” you unbuckled and stepped out of the car, walking around to his side as he got out, “And I appreciate you always looking out for me. I’ve got it handled, though.”

He stood in front of you as you leaned back against the side of his car, toying idly with the keys in between your fingers. There was a small smirk on his face as he took in the sight of you, still thinking you looked beautiful hungover in your sweats, fresh out of the shower.

He shrugged, “I know I can’t tell you what to do. But you deserve more than being disappointed all the time,” he sighed, “You know I think Dante’s an asshole. But I’d be willing to look past that if he was at least good to you, but he’s not. You talk about sunk cost but why keep wasting your fucking time if he’s not even making you happy?”

You couldn’t meet his eyes, “Because it’s better than being alone.”

“He’s still making you feel that way anyway, though!”

“I know!” you snapped. You took an unsteady breath, knowing that this blowout was a long time coming. You just wished that it didn’t have to happen right in that moment, “You’re right, okay? And yea I know better than to just be with someone for the sake of being with someone but…I don’t fucking know, Nes,” you shook your head, “Sometimes I just think that it’s easier this way. I know what to expect, even if the expectations aren’t exactly good. Leaving and having to tear down all those walls again with someone new? That’s fucking exhausting and I don’t want to keep doing that over and over again.”

“So you’re just gonna stay with him and be miserable forever?”

“Forever,” you scoffed, “C’mon, don’t be dramatic.”

“Well that’s the alternative, right? You either leave him, or you stay with him forever.”

“Why is this such a fucking issue for you all of a sudden?”

“Because you were on the brink of a fucking bender last night because of him. I hate that someone out there is making you feel that way when they’re supposed to be the one making you happy.”

“It’s not your job to worry about me and keep me in check,” your eyes were glued to the tips of your shoes.

“Yea, it is,” he stepped in, gently cupping your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him, “because I care about you.”

A wave of heat washed over your entire body and you couldn’t force yourself to move, or talk. All you could do was look into his eyes and try not to let your knees buckle underneath you. You and Nestor had hugged and touched a million times but not like this, never like this. He made you feel small and safe all at once.

“I just want you to be happy,” his voice was soft.

“I know,” you finally forced the words out, barely audible.

He traced his thumb across your cheek, “I could make you so happy, Y/N.”

You didn’t know why you felt like you were about to cry, but you did. You tried to take a deep breath to calm your nerves as you rested your hands over his. You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, “I know.”

“Will you let me do that?”

“Nes…”

“You know I’m right. You said it yourself,” he let out a soft chuckle as his hands slid down so they were resting on your shoulders.

You smiled up at him, realizing how close he had gotten, closing what little distance was between the two of you and nearly pinning you against the side of the car. You ran your hands over your face, a smirk fighting its way onto your face despite the myriad of emotions coursing through you, “You’re not gonna let this go, huh?”

He smiled, shaking his head, “No.”

You laughed, but your expression quickly sobered as you looked him in the eye, “I can’t lose you, Nestor.”

“You won’t,” there was no hesitation in his response, “I promise. You just, you gotta give me a chance.” You took a deep breath, leaning forward so your forehead rested against his chest. You shut your eyes, reveling in the way his arms instantly wrapped around you. He gave you a light squeeze, “You deserve to be happy.”

You pulled back from him just enough so that you could look at his face. He had one of the softest smiles you’d ever seen, and you couldn’t help but to smile in return when you saw it. You rested your hands on his chest, “We’re really gonna do this?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nodded, “I do.”

He smiled, “Then yea, we’re really doing this,” he pulled you tight against his chest with a laugh, “Can I break the news to Dante?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “Absolutely not. I get to do that part.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh, “Fine. I guess that’s fair.”

The two of you stood there like that for a few moments, processing the weight of everything that had just happened. You could feel the steady beat of his heart through his shirt, and despite the chaos of the situation that you were in, you found yourself feeling calm, reassured.

“Thank you,” you finally broke the silence, “for, you know, for not giving up on me.”

He squeezed you tight for a moment, “I’ve got you, always.”

It was refreshing to be able to believe what you were being told. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he meant it, knowing that your days of questioning things and being filled with disappointment and uncertainty were over. He felt like a breath of fresh air, like you were coming home after being away for far too long.

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor oceteva x you #nestor oceteva imagine #my writing #fanfiction #nestor oceteva request #drabblesmc

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chrisevansgoodgirl · 5 years ago

Text

give me all your venom, i love that shit

summary: i do apologize. no one asked for this...but i accidentally watched assassination nation. okay, it was intentional the first time. but the twenty times after that while i was writing this were accidental. anyway...smut stuff. webcam smut with love of my life Andrew Barber.

warnings: cheating. age gap. andy gets a little dark. this is prob as dark as i would ever write this perfect, beautiful man. a million and one pet names also.

word count: around 11,100 lol oops

pairing: andy barber x reader

a/n: so yes, age gap. it’s unclear what that is. go ahead and do what you will. it’s truly none of my business. also...one day, i’ll write in my tags ‘i’m gonna post tonight’ and actually post that night. not 300 nights later!

Laurie was a great woman, pretty much the kind of woman that you had always wished your mom would just wake up one day and feel completely compelled to act like. She was always so nice when she spoke to you, even the times you were clearly a little drunk and practically falling out of your tiny skirts.

She chalked it up to youth, so you’d once been told. That was huge in the little town you lived in. Mostly, if people saw all the skin you were showing, what they thought of you was clearly written all over their faces.

Laurie just liked talking to you. About anything. Everything. School, friends, boys, the future. This interest that she took in you didn’t end when you stopped babysitting for the Barbers, if anything, it made your conversations warmer. It was evident that the little time she could get with you was precious to her.

Jacob was the sweetest kid in the world. You had been apprehensive when she first called you. One reason only: babysitting boys was the worst. They were little demons and their parents either were blissfully unaware or did know and just didn’t care. You’d seen the same show for several years.

Not Jacob. And definitely not the Barbers. They were all so perfect and well-adjusted. You hadn’t been sure what to make of them those first few months. You had briefly suspected that both Laurie and Andy were total sociopaths who’d spawned another little sociopath. Come to find out, you just actually had such a fucked-up family situation.

Jacob loved playing video games with you, even though you were terrible at them. He never got upset when you made him lose, he just insisted that you needed to practice. Around the time you left, you’d started to get a little decent at them. He also enjoyed coloring and reading, two of your preferred babysitting activities.

Still, he was also an energetic little boy and that meant that he had dragged you outside sometimes to play very distracted versions of soccer, basketball, baseball a few times, and football once. Only once.

You’d both ended up covered in mud, it had been raining that morning but neither of you wanted to be deterred by that. When Laurie found you, she was horrified. Maybe a tad amused, seeing as she needed several pictures of the two of you.

You had wanted to walk home that night, the same thing you did after most shifts. The problem was, they had arrived home a bit later than usual. Laurie first, Andy about 10 minutes later. You didn’t want to walk through the house, so while Laurie was still threatening to hose off Jacob outside, you made your way around to the front porch.

Just as Andy was unlocking the front door.

Andy. He was easily the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. Mostly, he was in these perfect god damn suits because he was a lawyer. Other times, he didn’t shy away from tight shirts that clung to his arms and chest, and jeans that did the same for his ass.

The coveted position of babysitting for the perfect, loving Andy and Laurie Baber. It was hilarious that it went to you because you were the only one who hadn’t been desperately trying to get it. All your friends would bend over backward, even though a friend of a friend of a friend, Julia Something, had claimed that Jacob was an utter hellion.

But what it came down to was the fact that Andy looked like he had been made by someone trying to create the perfect human being. Everyone was just looking for a way in and when you got it, no one could believe it. You hadn’t been as serious about babysitting. You liked the families you liked and tended to stick to three to five, but Laurie got your number from one of those mothers. How could you say no?

According to many of your friends, you should have. It was a betrayal, but one they couldn’t be too mad about because only an idiot would turn down an offer like that. They tended to pay generously also, so it took a total of three seconds to decide you were in.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “Back door locked?”

“No, I just didn’t want to walk through the house.”

“Right.” He gave you a once over before turning down to his phone. “Do I even want to know?”

That would officially mark the most words he’d ever said to you in one conversation. Laurie loved you, Jacob claimed that he was never, ever going to allow another babysitter to step inside his house, but Andy hardly even looked at you. That wasn’t uncommon. Most of the dads didn’t care, but those were the families that you didn’t stick with for too long.

“Football,” you explained.

He gave you a surprised look.

“But don’t get your hopes up or anything. Jacob sucks.”

He scoffed.

“Can you grab my bag? It’s just right by the door.”

“Heading home?”

“I should. My parents hate when I work this late, they’ve probably been texting me for the past two hours now.”

“Yeah, one sec.”

He didn’t close the door after him so you could hear Jacob excitedly screaming about his father being home. Andy was a great dad and Jacob idolized him just as much as he idolized Laurie. It was a beautiful family dynamic that sometimes still baffled you. Your family looked much different.

He returned with your bag.

“Thanks.” You took it and turned.

“Y/N!”

You looked back as Laurie was rushing out.

“Oh, don’t walk home, dear. Andy will drive you.”

The look on his face told you that he had not offered and that she hadn’t even run it by him before that moment.

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” you attempted to decline. “Honestly.”

“It’s late and cold.”

“I don’t want to get mud all over the car.” It was an expensive fucking car.

“Nonsense, it’s just a car,” Laurie insisted. “Besides, I paint the house a lot. I’m sure we have a few tarps still. Andy, will you go get one?”

He didn’t need further prompt to disappear inside. Laurie apologized for being late, you told her not to worry about it—more time with Jacob was never a bad thing. She thanked you for everything you did for them and you shyly accepted. She asked about your parents then, and before you had to give an elaborate answer, Andy was back with the tarp.

The drive was awkward.

It had started silent and you tried to hide away in your phone, but apparently, no one felt like texting you in that moment. Prior, your friends had been trying to talk to you nonstop, but wasn’t life just funny like that?

You felt like an idiot just staring out the window. This wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen around a thousand times before; he wasn’t even driving a different way. It looked like you were trying to avoid him and this insane, aggressive part of you just hated to appear weak or caught off guard.

Maybe it was your fault then. You were the one who spoke first and after that, things were just different. “How was work?”

It took him a moment to come up with a reply, and what a reply it was. “Fine. I guess.”

“Cool…” you sighed, clicked your tongue a couple of times, then glanced at him. He was staring forward, eyebrows pulled together, confused. Sure, he’d never taken much of an interest in you, and up to that point, as far as he knew, you’d never taken an interest in him. “What kind of lawyer are you?”

“What kind?”

“Like…a wife kills her husband for all of his money. Where are you in the courtroom?”

He chuckled. “I’m a public defender. I don’t normally get cases like that, unless my boss is trying to get on the good side of some irritating, rich people.”

You hummed. “You like it?”

“I do.”

“Cool.”

“Why all the questions? You want to be a lawyer?”

You snorted. “I was just curious. I don’t really hear you talk about work.”

He didn’t say anything else and you felt shot down in a sense. Most fathers were easy to talk to. They loved to hear their own voice and they loved how you pretended to like to hear every word. Obviously, Andy wasn’t in that group. At least a few of your friends had responded to your texts so it wasn’t terribly awkward. He said goodnight when you climbed out of the car, you said it back and closed the door.

You thought that was that.

After that, any time you babysat, he would drive you home. Laurie didn’t even have to say anything, it was just expected that he would do it. He was the one who spoke on the second drive because you weren’t going to try again. It was just stupid stuff. How you were doing with school. How your family was. How your friends were. How your boyfriend was. Because you had a boyfriend, right? He had asked but you knew that he knew you did, Laurie asked about him a lot. Andy never seemed to be paying attention.

That was how it was for almost a month. Then something just changed. The conversations became something else. He asked you where you wanted to go, you weren’t sure you wanted to leave Massachusetts, but you knew you wanted to put some miles between you and your family. He asked you about the future, where you saw yourself. He told you a little about himself, only what he had wanted his life to look like when he was your age.

He had believed he was going to be a high school history teacher.

It wasn’t weird. You didn’t talk to any of the other fathers like this, but it didn’t feel like something you shouldn’t be doing. He just liked talking to you and he actually wanted to hear what you had to say, what you thought about things.

It was innocent. Even when he started coming home early just to make sure he could drive you home. Even when you started taking your jacket off in the car or crossing your legs and pretending you didn’t notice that your skirt was riding up. Even when he looked at you and you acted like you didn’t see it. Even when you would end up sitting in his car, parked down the street from your house, just talking because he knew you didn’t want to go inside.

Perfectly innocent. For almost six months.

You were walking home from school when you got a text from Jacob. He couldn’t find his science project that you had helped him work on. You could have just told him where it was, but then you wouldn’t get the chance to stop by the Barber house. You showed up and Laurie happily invited you in. It was in the garage, something you pretended to remember after about an hour. Jacob had a play date so when his friend’s parents picked him up, Laurie asked you to stay for coffee.

You did. You wanted to extend your time there because even if he didn’t come home soon, Laurie would tell him you had been there. She would mention you and he would be thinking about you. Which is all you ever really wanted.

But sometimes your plans didn’t really work out. You had been turning down jobs, better-paying jobs, jobs you’d had far longer than the Barbers. They had been friends of your parents, it was how you met them, so typically, word got back to your mother. She felt you were the most irresponsible person in the world and didn’t fail to remind you of those feelings when she sent you seven texts and ordered you to get home.

You didn’t want to deal with the chaos of making her angry by spending any more time trying to see Andy. It was a failed attempt at getting closer to him, and as you were walking down the street, you were almost thankful. What the hell were you doing? Why were you trying to get closer to him? Jacob’s father, Laurie’s husband, your boss. That was it. That was all he could be.

But then, much earlier than you’d ever seen him, he was driving by you. You smiled, waved, but kept going. He was the one who circled back and told you to get in. You didn’t need to be told twice. You wanted to talk anyway, you wanted to tell him what was going on with your mother.

He parked down the street again. It wasn’t dark like it usually was but there was no one around. Everyone was staying warm inside. The heaters were on and you had draped your jacket over your legs. It was freezing but leaving the car was the last thing you wanted to do.

He only spoke when you had finished venting. And it wasn’t in the direction you had thought it would go. “You’ve been turning down jobs?”

Shit. You just shrugged. “A few, I guess.”

“Why?”

“I’m busy.”

“You’ve been around the house a lot more lately,” he pointed out. “Is that how you’ve been so busy lately? With Jacob? With us?”

“I…I just don’t feel like babysitting for them anymore.”

“Because you just want to babysit for us.”

“I don’t know,” you finally said. “I don’t know why I’ve been turning them down.”

“I know.”

You lifted your eyebrows.

He placed his hand on your thigh with absolutely no hesitation.

You couldn’t explain how good his skin felt against yours. Like after running a mile and then finally catching your breath. Or waking up and seeing that you still have hours before your alarm clock goes off. Like when you’re walking down the streets during October and the houses are all decorated. Like when you’re starving and you finally eat something you’ve been craving.

“You want to see me.”

“I like seeing Jacob,” you muttered. You saw his hand move up before you felt it, your breath audibly caught and you shuddered. Pathetic. Weak. Desperate.

“You come over almost every day.”

You turned up to him, trying to keep your voice level. “You come home early every day.”

“I want to see you,” he assured. “Just like you want to see me…right?”

You nodded.

“Because you feel something for me.”

You wanted him, that was the best way to describe it. So fucking bad, so bad you couldn’t think straight sometimes. So bad that when your boyfriend touched you, you nearly got physically sick sometimes. So bad that in your bed, at night, with your hand between your legs, you pictured Andy and no one else.

“And you feel something for me,” you countered.

“I do.”

Before you could respond, his phone was ringing. Laurie, oh god. He saw the look on your face but clearly had no interest in letting those logical emotions—shame, guilt, disgust—grow. “Give me your phone.”

You weren’t sure why you did so. He handed it back to you with a new contact. Under the name: Daddy. You closed your thighs, rubbing them together, catching his fingers where they were still laid over your leg. You were so wet, desperate for some friction.

“You’re going to go inside,” he started. “You’re going to go to your bedroom, strip down, get in front of your mirror, and fuck your fingers. You’re going to watch the whole time. Then, when you can’t take another orgasm, you’re going to send me a picture.”

“Of what?”

“Whatever you want.”

Your mind was reeling. You had never sent naked pictures before, but that was because you knew what would happen if you did. They would get shown to everyone. Andy couldn’t show anyone. Andy wouldn’t show everyone even if he could.

“Okay.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

You swallowed thickly. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Give me your panties,” he ordered. “I want to take them home.”

You wondered if he had done this before, if he did it often maybe. But did it matter? At the end of the day, that wasn’t going to make either of you any less terrible than you were being.

But there was just one problem with his request. “I’m not wearing any.”

His eyes dropped down. “You aren’t wearing panties?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“I think you do. Now, you didn’t plan on fucking me tonight. That’s too much too soon. But I am the reason…it wasn’t because you thought my fingers would end up buried in your pussy, not yet… Daddy wants an answer, baby girl.”

Baby girl. Oh, fuck. Instead of speaking again, you spread your thighs and brought your own hand up your skirt. You were soaking, something he could hear when you pressed your fingers down. Which was why you had decided to skip underwear. Any time he was around, in a suit, you were wet.

His hold tightened on your thigh and you let out this small whimper. It was almost deafening in that car.

You pulled your hand back and brought your drenched fingers up to the steering wheel. You just wanted to leave something for him without risking anyone seeing you both in a weird situation.

He leaned forward almost instantly, inhaling as his eyes shut. “Fuck, you smell exactly like I thought you would.” His tongue dipped out just slightly and he licked the slick off the steering wheel, groaning gently. “And you fucking taste…”

Your phone buzzed and you both startled. “Shit.”

Andy sat up, clearing his throat. “Go. Do what I said.”

You went to reach for the door, but he cleared his throat. Oh, god. After what you just did, could you even pretend that you hadn’t surrendered completely? “Yes.”

“Good girl.”

After that, it was all kind of just a blur. You quit babysitting, which was very hard. You really did love Jacob and you were sad for a very long time every moment you remembered that you weren’t going over there to see him. You were never going to that house again, at least that was what you had told yourself.

That meant you didn’t see Andy quite as often, which was probably for the best. But he saw you. Often. Very naked. You sent him nearly hundreds of pictures a month, dozens almost every night. He was never too busy for you and maybe you liked that, maybe that was what made you feel so special. Maybe it was just him, the way he looked at you during those awkward exchanges when your mother dragged you to the grocery store with her and you ran into them. Maybe it was when he would call you even though he was at the office once you got home because he wanted to hear you orgasm. Maybe it was after your boyfriend would drop you off at home—and Andy always knew because you told him, you weren’t going to lie, you had no reason to—and he would ask you if he touched you, if he made you come.

He was your age. Andy was much older. More experienced. He never failed to remind you that that meant he could make you feel so much better. You weren’t sure what you were doing, why you didn’t just break up with him. Security, probably. If Andy ever decided to end this. Whatever it was. At least you wouldn’t be alone.

When Laurie wanted something, she got it. It wasn’t because she was aggressive or just didn’t take no for answer. It was because she was such a good person, how could anyone feel okay disappointing her? You certainly couldn’t.

When she insisted that you come over for dinner, you knew it was wrong. You knew she would rightfully hate you if she knew what you were doing with her husband. You knew she would feel hurt by the both of you, betrayed, outraged, disgusted. But you went anyway, and it wasn’t to flirt with Andy. Sure, you had done that once or twice in the past, but not this time. This time was for Laurie because she missed you. You had quit so suddenly and then it was like you didn’t exist to her at all. You owed her this dinner.

The look on his face when he saw you in the living room told you that he hadn’t been told about this. He looked terrified, worried.

“Look who I ran into this morning!” Laurie called out from the kitchen. She was over the stove stirring some pasta and you were at the table looking at all of Jacob’s drawings he had done in the past few months since you’d last seen him.

You gave him a look. He should know better than anyone why this was something you couldn’t just get out of. He couldn’t be mad at you. And he better not be accusing you of playing with Laurie like this.

He nodded once, just slightly. “Y/N.”

“Mr. Barber,” you returned.

Then nothing, he went upstairs and you returned your undivided attention to Jacob. Around a half-hour later, Laurie had to go upstairs and drag him downstairs, both trying and failing to hide their irritation.

She asked you about the usual after you had all settled in a bit. School was always the start. Laurie told you that school was the most important thing in the world. She had graduated but with a degree that she didn’t utilize. She loved her life, but she had her regrets and she didn’t want you to make the same mistakes.

She moved to family next. You always kept the answers light around Jacob, knowing that Laurie could read between the lines anyway. Your mother joined two different book clubs. Laurie knew that meant she was just trying to avoid your father.

Then your boyfriend. Another thing she wanted you to be careful about. She wasn’t expecting to get pregnant with Jacob when she had. She loved both Andy and Jacob, but she would have loved to hold off for a few years. She told you to take care of yourself first. Take care of your dreams, your future, your body, your identity before you worried about anyone else. Be selfish, be ambitious. She was like a mom; one you never even knew existed outside of television. You often wished she weren’t so nice to you. You knew you didn’t deserve it.

She just wanted to know how he was. How long had you guys been together, again? Right, that was quite a long time, she claimed. Where was he working? The same place still? You felt Andy’s eyes on you the entire time. He hadn’t looked at you for the whole dinner until Laurie mentioned your boyfriend.

Did you know about his politics? She promised it was better to know before it was too late. She knew his parents, knew that they were rather conservative. Everyone there was, though. The chances of finding a perfect man? Well, Andy was already taken.

Had you guys spoken about the future? Not really, not cohesively, but that wasn’t the answer you gave. You knew what he wanted and he pretended that he didn’t know what you wanted, pretended that one day you would just wake up and see it all his way. What does he want to do?

You were thinking about Andy. His hands, his mouth, his beard. You thought about making him mad, jealous. You thought about how he would be short over text and make you send him pictures and videos until he was less angry, then he would call and his voice would be so deep, he would growl orders at you. Fuck. “Yeah…he wants a huge family.”

“Oh.” Laurie nodded, clearly it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Well…what do you want?”

“I don’t know.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie, but Andy would give you hell for it later. He told you that was one of the sexiest things about you. That you knew what you wanted. Basically, he just meant it was sexy that you were selfish enough to be getting involved with him.

“Well, just make sure you know before you make any choices that can’t be undone.”

If only someone had given Andy this lecture all the way back. You wondered how things would be if he wasn’t married, if he had never met Laurie, but If he was still here. You wondered what relationship you would have with him.

“You want to stay in Massachusetts?”

You shrugged. Andy wouldn’t let you come later, until you promised you were going to stay. You just had this deep, sinking feeling he wasn’t going to be kind about it either. Good. It had been so long since he was rough with you. Even over text, he was dominant and in total control. He owned you but you were worried he was getting comfortable with that, you worried that he was under the impression that he could be less possessive. Hell no. You were his, undeniably, but only so long as he was going to claim you as his.

“Well, you’re young…the possibilities are endless.”

“Well, I hope you guys break up,” Jacob bluntly stated.

You and Laurie both turned to him with wide-eyed looks. Andy was stunned for a moment, then had to hide his smile by sipping at his beer.

“Jacob,” Laurie scolded. “Don’t say things like that. That was very mean.”

“Well,” he huffed, ‘if she has more time, she can come back to babysit me.”

You scoffed.

He turned to you. “Is it because of him?”

“No, I promise. I’m just…busy.”

“Busy?” He rolled his eyes. “Adults are always “busy”.”

“You know, I think it’s time I put him to sleep,” Laurie scoffed.

“No,” Jacob whined. “I never get to see her anymore!”

Laurie sighed. “Jacob—”

“I’m not going to bed until you promise to come back,” he declared.

“Jacob,” you pleaded.

He crossed his arms over his chest, brow furrowed. “I’ll stay awake forever if I have to.” Then he set his jaw and turned forward. He had never looked more like Andy, where usually, he looked eerily like Laurie.

You really did miss him. Not that you would ever tell Andy, but a part of you did resent him for the fact that you had to quit. It wasn’t all on him, but if he had never let this start, things would still be the same.

Laurie looked completely exasperated and it wasn’t like you didn’t have enough guilt where she was concerned. “Okay, Jacob, if you go to bed, I will try to come back for the summer. You know, I won’t be so busy.” You glanced at Laurie who appeared just as hopeful. “You know, maybe at least a couple of days while you guys are at work.”

“Well, I was going to do this later because I didn’t want you to feel like this was the only reason that I asked you here. We miss you and I just wanted to see you, but…” she glanced at Andy. “I just found out that I’m going to be taking a work trip this summer.”

“Work trip?” you inquired. You weren’t aware that her job would ever require traveling.

“Yeah, just this conference, kind of, for people who work with children. This is the first time we have been invited to it, so it’s really important but I’m just not okay leaving Andy and Jacob alone. Andy’s job…”

“I told you, I could take the summer off,” Andy assured.

Laurie gave him a look. Yeah, that was highly unlikely. Andy wouldn’t know what to do with himself after probably the first three weeks. She faced you. “I don’t want to put any pressure on you. If you can’t come back, we understand. The Rifkins were telling us about your friend, the one who also babysits. Her name is Lily…something?”

Your eyes instinctively went to Andy. He was giving you a knowing look. All your friends would fuck him in a heartbeat. You shouldn’t have cared. If he fucked anyone, you should have had the plan to just walk away. You doubted your ability to do that, unfortunately. And you couldn’t stand the thought of him touching her. Anyone but her.

“I’ll think about it,” you promised Jacob.

He smiled widely. “Okay, I’ll go to bed now. I’m exhausted.”

You smiled.

Laurie took Jacob upstairs after saying goodnight to you. That left you alone with Andy for what you both knew would be just enough time for anything, but you had your limits. Not in the house. Not while Laurie and Jacob were here. You decided it was time to call it a night and he decided he was going to walk you to your car. It was dark after all.

You just rolled your eyes and marched out the front door. You tried to stay in front of him so you could get inside your car first, so he couldn’t grab you or talk to you. You just needed to get out of there, anything that needed to be said would have to wait for that night when he texted you.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t get my kid’s hopes up.”

That was how he wanted to start? You looked back at him; eyebrows lifted. “You mean yours.”

“Jacob misses you—”

“And you?”

He sighed at you. “What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing, just don’t try to use Jacob against me. I will think about it…there are just things…that could go wrong.”

“Like what?”

“You know what, Andy—”

His eyebrows shot up. “What did you call me?”

You crossed your arms, silently staring up at him. Your back faced the driver’s side door, the handle perfectly in your reach if you needed it.

“Baby,” he warned. “Don’t start acting up right now just because you know I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m not acting up—”

“Then what did you just call me?”

“Nothing,” you muttered. “I’m sorry, I meant to call you daddy.”

He moved closer then, either hand on the car door behind you.

Your eyes widened in sheer panic and you immediately looked around. It was too dark to see anything, and this was Andy Barber. He was a trusted and well-respected man. No one would think anything even if they did walk out and saw this with their own eyes. He was a damn good lawyer and could convince anyone of anything.

It had been months since you spent so much time with him, but even still, the closest the two of you had ever been was in the car. There was an invisible line that neither of you crossed because you never wanted to get caught. It was always so light out, your creepy neighbors would just sit on the porch from sunrise to sunset because they were desperate for anything.

This was different. There was no one around. There was nothing to stop either of you from taking this further than you ever had. This was the extent of your relationship. Stealing moments. Secrets. But he had never touched you, he’d never kissed you. It was all you could think about in that moment.

“What was all of that?” he asked.

“What?”

“All that bullshit? You lied to Laurie.”

You scoffed. “No, actually, I didn’t.”

“Really? That’s what you want to fucking do with your life? Just be some god damn trophy for that boyfriend of yours?”

You shrugged. “I would love to be a trophy.”

He glared. “You’re smart, okay? And you’re interesting—”

“So, instead of being a trophy, I should be a spectacle? I should entertain people—”

“That is not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That I’m fucking angry.”

“About what?!”

“Him!”

Well, mission accomplished. It wasn’t that you were surprised he felt that way, you just weren’t expecting to hear him say it.

He sighed, turning up. He was probably watching the window to make sure Laurie hadn’t heard anything.

“What are you even angry about?”

“I work with his fucking father.”

“And?” you demanded.

He looked down at you after several seconds of staring at the window. “He always fucking talks about you. He thinks you’re going to marry his son.”

You shrugged. “Maybe I will.”

“Don’t.”

“Why not?” you pressed. “Maybe I fucking will, Andy.”

“He’s an asshole. You tell me all the time. And if you think I’m going to let you—”

“Let me?” you scoffed. “You’re married. You can’t do shit.”

The look he gave you told you that was the last thing you should have said. He grabbed your shoulders and turned you away from him, pushing you into the car door.

“Andy—”

You were in a tiny pair of shorts, despite how freezing it was that night. That must have been what gave him the idea to smack you, more so your thigh than your ass, but it hurt, nonetheless. You slammed your hands over your mouth to stifle your yelp.

There were times when you thought you were going to die if he didn’t touch you. Obviously, you were always wrong, but you didn’t care. Sometimes, when you would plead to whatever or whoever it was up there, that you just needed him to touch you, just a touch, you would claim you didn’t care how. This worked. Even though it really fucking hurt and the cold air was still stinging your skin, this was what you wanted.

“You know what you need to be calling me, honey.” His hand was at the button of your denim shorts and you panicked.

You tried to catch his wrist, but he was much stronger than you. Before you said a word, he had yanked them open, the zipper too. But no, not now, not here. “Daddy, stop—”

“You still think I can’t do anything?”

“Please, not here—”

His fingers pressed against your stomach and traveled down. You instantly lost your ability to speak or think. When he reached the band of your underwear, he scoffed. “Wearing panties? Why?”

What kind of question was that?

“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” he cooed. “Such a sweet girl.”

“Daddy,” you whispered.

“Daddy will stop,” he promised. “But only if you want him to. Do you want daddy to stop?”

“Please.” Yes, please. But also, maybe please, don’t. Please, keep going. Please, touch me more because you never have. Please, touch me where we both want you to so bad.

“Okay, but first, I’m going to check if you’re wet. If you aren’t, fine. If you are, well, you know you’re not supposed to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” you promised. “But—”

“Shh, baby.” He pressed his fingers down and you felt like you were dying. Honestly, like your life was on the verge of ending because nothing had ever felt so good and nothing should feel so good.

He didn’t go inside your underwear, of course not. He was always teasing you. Instead, he moved down until he felt the material was damp and made a soft, disapproving sound.

“I wasn’t lying,” you insisted, trying not to move too much. If he thought you were enjoying this too much, he might decide to get cruel.

“So, you want daddy to stop right now?”

You wanted to say yes, you wished you could make yourself. However, you stayed silent because you knew he would stop, you knew he would completely withdraw from you until you were begging him. Mostly, you couldn’t force yourself to want him to stop touching you no matter how wrong you knew it was.

“You know, baby girl, daddy wants something from you.”

You almost promised him anything he wanted but thankfully, forming coherent words was still something beyond you.

“Daddy wants you to come back this summer.”

No. That wasn’t going to happen. You knew now that it couldn’t happen. You knew now that if you were ever in a room with Andy, that both of you would get as close as you possibly could, that you would try to touch in any way that wouldn’t raise concern. And if no one was home? If Jacob was upstairs and you and Andy were downstairs? No, you wouldn’t do that to Laurie. Not in her house.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

You shook your head. “You know I can’t.”

“All I know is that I don’t like it when you tell me no.”

Which is something he wouldn’t actually know because you had never told him no. This was different. This was about hurting someone who had only ever been good to you. And Jacob—god, Jacob. If you were caught, Laurie would leave Andy and that was the last thing you wanted for Jacob.

“I’m saying no,” you insisted, but your voice was hardly more than a mutter.

He said nothing for several terribly long seconds, then pulled aside your panties and finally touched your pussy.

Your eyes fell shut and you pressed your forehead against the car window. His fingers moved higher until he circled them around your clit and you shuddered. Even biting your lip couldn’t completely muffle the sounds you were making.

He shushed you, a completely patronizing gesture as he was the reason you were being so loud.

“Daddy,” you gasped. “Daddy, please.”

“You want to come on daddy’s fingers?”

You nodded fast. “So bad, daddy.”

“Mm. Well, daddy wants you back, princess.”

“Daddy,” you whined. This couldn’t happen, not now. Where was his fear? Anyone could walk out. Laurie could just glance out the window and see everything.

“Daddy wants to see you back in the house every day. Playing on the floor in your tiny little skirts and your tiny little shirts that you never wear a bra with. Daddy wants to see you biting your lip and pressing your thighs together when you’re watching me, when you think I don’t notice.”

Fuck. You genuinely had thought you were being discreet. He was clearly discreet, however, because you had never noticed that he was watching so closely.

“But more than anything, I want to have you all to myself, baby girl.”

“I…would be babysitting,” you reminded.

“Jacob has a lot of friends. I’ll schedule him some play dates. Say yes.”

“No, daddy, please—”

“Say yes,” he ordered.

“I can’t.”

“I’m not going to let you come until you do.”

The noise you made was a cross between a cry and a whimper, something truly pathetic. He had you scared and he knew it, so he thrust two fingers inside you and when your mouth opened to scream, he wrapped his opposite hand around your neck.

You swore you would come just like that if he didn’t stop. You had dreamt about his hands around your throat. You would try choking yourself when you were making videos for him, but you knew it wasn’t like the real thing. When he would call you, you would always beg choke me, daddy.

His fingers were thick enough to stretch you even though you were dripping. Your mind wandered to his cock. You could feel it against your ass, and even through his pants, you could tell he was big. But it was little more than a theory. You’d never seen his cock because he didn’t send you pictures. Most of your relationship with Andy had been set around your imagination.

He kept you quiet with his hold around your neck, but his fingers fucked into you so hard that the wet sounds echoed down the empty street. If anyone found the two of you, you would be completely humiliated by how evidently desperate you were.

“Daddy,” you gasped when you felt yourself just right there, so close to that edge. Maybe you were biased in the moment in thinking that this was going to be the best orgasm you had ever had. You had toys, Andy had made sure of that, and some of them did the trick. But it was never like this. Close, at times, but only ever when you were making videos for him or talking to him on the phone. It was all Andy, he hadn’t been exaggerating when he was telling you no one else could make you feel so good.

“You close, princess?”

You hummed a confirmation and just like that, he pulled his hand away altogether. The one around your neck was keeping you quiet but your pussy was completely neglected. It was absolutely devastating.

Stupidly, you’d forgotten his grand plan of forcing you to say yes. You weren’t going to, this was so much bigger than this stupid affair. You could live with yourself knowing you were a whore, you could live knowing you were a homewrecker so long as no one else knew, but you could not and would not even attempt to be okay with sheer stupidity. And stupidity was playing this game. You didn’t understand why he wanted to either.

“How do you feel now?”

“No,” you snapped.

“Watch the tone,” he warned.

“God,” you huffed tiredly. “I can’t. No, I’m saying no.”

He simply hummed and with no warning, buried his fingers inside you once more. “Then I guess we’re going to be here for quite a while.”

A whine caught in your throat and you practically choked trying to talk to him. “Daddy, we’re going to get caught.”

“Then say yes. You think you can have an attitude and mouth off and I’m just going to let it go because we might get caught?”

Well, honestly, yes, you had expected that. This was bad and you knew you were fucked up because that was making it feel better. He was pressed against you, hiding you from any eyes that may look outside because he was insanely possessive and didn’t want anyone else seeing you naked. He was holding you so tight that it actually hurt and he was barely letting you breathe, you were getting dizzy and lightheaded and you just needed to come.

He did this to you so many times that you lost track. The only thing you did know was that it wasn’t taking long even though it felt like it. It was Tuesday night and you had been here enough at this time to know that this was a busy night for these rich people. You’d walked out of the house at 7:46. The bathroom light was still on and would be for another 30 minutes at least, because Jacob was a menace when he wanted to be—but never with you. Mrs. Johnson always came home from her cooking club at 8:20 to 8:30. Mr. Garcia would always come out at around 8:15 to leave his trash or recycling, depending on the night of the week. Sometimes, Mrs. Wilson’s grandchildren would stop by for late visits. They were all doctors and lawyers, at least, that was the reason they gave for never coming at a reasonable hour, but they actually just wanted money and knew she would be too tired to say no. Mrs. Taylor’s twin demons you once had the displeasure of devoting your Monday and Friday nights to had to go out every night at 8:30 until 10:00 because of some stupid project they were doing on stars.

Andy had to know all of this also, so you understood that he was just trying to call your bluff.

Well, fuck, it was going to work. You were terrified. There were so many variables, anyone could show up early. Or hell, there had to be some people here with drinking addictions, an affliction for pills, a house fire could start. Or a revealed affair could lead to a staged murder that looked like something else. Andy being so calm was almost worrisome.

But you were more worried about Laurie. Apparently, you weren’t like him. You couldn’t just shut off your guilt surrounding her. You knew you had to try one more time to get out of this. Andy was pretending right now to be so hard, but he was more than soft for you. He spoiled the hell out of you and let you be very bratty even though he put on a whole show that he couldn’t stand it. But you knew that when you gave him a look, when you softened your voice just enough, when you said the right things, that man would give you the world if he could.

In your littlest, whiny voice, you begged him. “Daddy, please.”

He froze for a moment, letting his hand fall away only to take your shoulders and turn you back to him. He was looking at you curiously, also a tad suspiciously.

You simply stared at him with pleading eyes. He couldn’t honestly think this was a good idea. “We can’t do this. Not around Jacob. Not in the house.”

Realization showed on his face and he scoffed. “Oh, baby, you really are the sweetest thing.” He leaned in to press you flat to the car door once more and brought his hand up, slipping his fingers into your mouth. His eyes were on yours the entire time, as you sucked and licked, and then as he started shoving them down your throat. You gagged, tears were running down your cheeks, and you had started rolling your hips, grinding against the bulge in his pants.

“You are the most beautiful little girl in the world, you know that?”

You hummed, thankful that you didn’t actually have to put an answer to that. He never stopped telling you that you were beautiful, that he’d never see someone else like you, but when you really had to think about it, you were just the average insecure person.

“You’re my little girl, yeah?” He pulled his fingers from your mouth, touching your swollen lips. “Tell me.”

“I’m your little girl.”

“Do you know how badly daddy wants to eat your pussy?”

It took you a moment, but when you realized that he wanted an answer, you shook your head. He didn’t talk about it much. He just liked to listen to you, he liked to tell you that he just wanted to be inside you, that he couldn’t wait to feel you around him.

“Mm…I do. I want to lick you for hours until your begging me to stop. I want you to come in my mouth. I want you to grind your pussy all over my face. You have to know how badly daddy wants you on his cock, though?”

“Yes.”

“Say you’ll come back, gorgeous. Of course, Jacob can never know, this isn’t a game. I just miss seeing you. I miss smelling your perfume and hearing you laugh. I miss having you so close.”

“I miss you, too,” you promised. But. There was still a but, even if you didn’t come right out and say it.

You felt his hands moving against your stomach and then you heard the zipper of his pants. Oh, god. He took your hand and slipped it down his boxers, you both shuddered as your skin touched his.

His eyes fell shut and he took a deep breath in. He tightened his hand around yours and began slowly jerking your hand up and down his cock. “What do you think, baby girl?”

“You’re really big, daddy.” And so fucking thick, you were going crazy just picturing yourself trying to ride him. He was much bigger than your boyfriend, much bigger than anyone else you’d ever fucked.

“Imagine my cock inside your beautiful little cunt. I bet it’ll hurt so much that you cry. And I am going to pound that pussy until you are so stretched and used that your boyfriend won’t be able to make you come at all.”

You wanted nothing more, but you also wanted to have a little bit of fun. “I said you were big…but I didn’t say you were bigger than him.”

He pulled his hand and yours out of his pants and the next second, he was on you. His hand was around your neck, his other holding your jaw, and his face just inches away from yours. “You fucking little brat. You’re lucky I don’t make you get on your knees and choke you on my cock.”

“Kiss me, daddy.”

And just like that, he was no longer upset with you. It was hilarious how easily you could push this man into anything you wanted. And he didn’t even care, he just wanted to give you everything you could think to ask for.

He sighed, glancing around. “I can’t do that, baby, not here.”

Then where? That was when you finally understood. He wanted you back so badly, because where else would you be able to do this? He could get a hotel room but if anyone ever saw you, there would be no defense. It would be apparent what you guys were doing. Your house? Your parents were always around. That only left his house and if Laurie was going to be gone…maybe you didn’t see much harm in that.

“Say yes,” he whispered.

You should have never turned around to look at him. He had won, there was no way you could deny him anymore. You nodded. “Yes, daddy.”

He smiled and your heart stuttered. He was the most beautiful man in the world. “I’ll let Laurie know...I’ll tell her this was why I was out here so long. And you, angel, need to go straight home, shove a toy in that pussy, and make some videos for daddy.”

It was weeks later than Andy told you he had a surprise for you. A few months had gone by. You hadn’t returned to the Barber home since the dinner and you kept your usual contact with Andy. Just more sending pictures and videos and texting every second it was possible.

He was still thrilled that you were going back for the summer and regularly checked in just to make sure that you didn’t change your mind about it. You still had a few months and he was constantly worried you would feel a sudden burst of guilt. It wasn’t too farfetched, actually.

When you got home, your mother informed you that you had received a package. She claimed it didn’t say who it was from. You knew what that meant. You had checked your phone that morning and saw a text informing you to expect something.

You texted Andy, I got it, then you went to your drawers to pick out something skimpy and lacy.

Good. Take off all your clothes.

Odd, he usually wanted you wearing something. You did as was asked of you and let him know when you were ready for more instruction.

Go to your bathroom with the box.

Once more, you let him know when you’d complied with his orders.

Open the box.

Inside was another smaller box, a picture clearly displaying the product. He bought you a dildo, a rather large one. You didn’t normally get toys this size, they were harder to film with.

Before you could respond, he texted again. Get it out of the box and clean it really well, then stick it to the floor.

Again, you followed his directions. Once it was set up and immovable, you let him know.

Get your laptop, we’re going to Skype.

That left you naked in front of your laptop that was a few feet away. He had you sitting with your legs bent and spread wide so he could see your pussy.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, that was the first thing you noticed. The second was his background, you didn’t recognize it.

“Where are you, daddy?”

“Home. My office. Laurie’s sister is in town so they both went out to see her. Focus, baby. I’m going to send you some videos that I want you to watch.”

“Videos?” You had a feeling you already knew what he meant. And mere seconds later, got confirmation through the email link he sent to you. Porn. Not surprising and you weren’t really opposed.

The videos he sent you were all starred older men, many roleplaying as the stepfather, and younger women playing the innocent, naïve daughter. Older than you mostly, but still significantly younger than the men they were fucking. The videos started tame, small, just cheesy scenarios and rough sex following. But as he sent you more, the men became more dominant. They would choke, pull hair, spank, call her degrading names. You didn’t hate any of it.

He wouldn’t let you touch yourself and he didn’t touch himself. He just watched you the entire time, sometimes talking and asking you questions, but he mainly just wanted you focusing on this. He made you keep your legs open so he could make sure you weren’t being sneaky, which was slightly humiliating. You felt that voicing that, however, would be considered talking back.

It was nearly an hour later that he requested you show him how wet you were. Your fingers frantically ran through your cunt and you held them out toward the camera. He told you to pause the video and get on the dildo. You gracelessly rolled onto your knees, your legs just a little tired from the uncomfortable position he’d directed you to hold for so long. You climbed over the toy, one hand holding it as you straddled it.

“Just take it slow, baby girl.”

You carefully spread your knees further, bringing your pussy closer to the head of the fake cock. You heard him shifting as soon as if touched your skin. You weren’t as nervous as you should have been, you figured you were wet enough to take it all. That insatiable longing to be filled and ruthlessly fucked by him clouded your mind.

As soon as it was inside you by what probably wasn’t even an inch, you froze. Yes, bigger than anything you’d ever taken. It stung a little, yet you didn’t want to pull off completely. You kind of liked the pain anyway.

“Keep going.”

“It hurts.”

“Just try for me, angel.”

You set your hands to the floor, once again spreading your legs wider. The ache didn’t dull as you kept going. “Daddy, I think it’s too big.”

“I’m bigger, that’s why I want you to get used to it.”

Bigger? Even though you were struggling to handle this, you wanted him instead of the toy. You wanted him on top, forcing you to take his cock, cooing to you and kissing your face the whole time. This was a flawed plan that he came up with because you were going to need some major convincing to get any further on this thing.

“Take a minute,” he decided, and you needed no further prompt to pull off.

You hissed lightly, looking at it. You had barely made it down the head. So, this was going to be one of those long calls.

“Use your mouth,” he instructed.

That you could do. You leaned over it, immediately dropping down until it hit the back of your throat. Your eyes flickered up to the screen where you saw his arm moving so slowly, back and forth. You would ask later if you could see him, when you didn’t have something in your mouth.

“Baby doll, you are fucking beautiful.”

You hummed, pulling back and then sliding back down.

“Gag on it. I want to hear you choking.”

You prepped your throat by bobbing up and down, taking it a little further each time. It wasn’t until your nose was hovering just above the floor that you gagged loudly. You backed off hurriedly but did it once more, a second time, a third, a fourth, until he told you to stop.

“Stay there, sweetheart, keep it down your throat. Try swallowing around it. I want you to get used to that, too. That’s how I love having my cock sucked.”

You obeyed, attempting to swallow around the thick piece of silicone. Those tries were followed by a lot of short coughs, gagging noises, and your body moving almost violently every time you got just a little too ahead of yourself. You were suddenly very thankful that you’d woken up late, since you’d stayed up until almost 5 in the morning talking to him, and hadn’t had time to eat anything.

“You think you can do it now?”

You hummed and hoped he wouldn’t press for more. You weren’t sure. You were nervous to try but it wasn’t like he was going to let you off that easy.

“Okay, try again.”

Positioning yourself over it, you realized you were much wetter now. Getting the head inside was easy enough but just as soon, it started to hurt again.

“You okay, princess?”

“Yeah.” You turned your attention down and tried to force yourself to relax. You were nervous, double that now because you didn’t want to fail in front of Andy. You wanted to show him that you knew what you were doing and that when he finally fucked you, it was going to be perfect. You didn’t want him to think of you as some inexperienced little girl.

“Remember, take it easy. Don’t hurt yourself.”

You never thought you would have an issue with him babying you. “I wish this was your cock, daddy.”

He hummed as if it was a question but was much more focused on your comfort than your attempts to distract him.

“Mhm,” you returned. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. I can’t wait to be filled up and dripping with your cum.”

“I’ll cover you in my cum, sweetheart. You wanna try taking a little more?”

You hadn’t moved and it was still aching, but your mind was getting hazy. You were thinking about Andy and how good he was going to fuck you. You wanted it so hard and so fast that you didn’t think the dildo would even suffice. You lowered a tad too fast, earning a disapproving sound from him.

And yes, it hurt, but admitting any type of defeat was beyond out of the question. “Fuck, daddy, it’s so big,” you sighed. You didn’t pull off, but you tried shifting your hips to get a little more comfortable.

“Fuck yourself with it.”

You used your arms for balance and began pulling back carefully before dropping back down. You did this several more times until it was no longer uncomfortably painful. “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

You pushed yourself up, balancing on your knees as your hands came up to your breasts. “Can I see you?”

He arched an eyebrow at you. “You wanna see me?”

You nodded. “Please?”

He sat up, pushing the laptop back as he stood. You finally got to see that hard stomach you had been pressed against that night and it did not disappoint. You had no idea that he was going to look so strong and beautiful—and honestly, what the hell was he doing with you? You were confident enough and sometimes, some days when things were just going your way, you even loved how you looked. But Andy was inhumanly, unfairly breathtaking.

Then you saw his cock and you instantly whimpered. He was so big, bigger than the toy just as he’d claimed. You’d suspected he was exaggerating, most men did. He laid his cock out on the desk, tip leaking, skin angry and red.

“Daddy,” you whispered.

“What, honey?”

“I can’t wait for summer. I need you now.”

“Just be patient. You need to get a little more accustomed to the toy first because I’m not sure I’m going to be able to be gentle.”

“I don’t want you to be gentle.”

“You want daddy to make it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Touch your clit, princess. I want to see you come.”

Your hand snapped down to your cunt, mindlessly searching for, and at times successfully catching, that hypersensitive spot. As soon as you heard him grunting, jerking himself off to the sight of you, you knew you weren’t going to last long.

You watched his arm move, the way his muscles tensed, you noticed the veins. He wasn’t the kind of man to show off. His suits were always fitted and occasionally, he wore a short sleeve tee, but you were starting to realize he was rather modest. It was this secret that he finally told you, he was finally showing you parts of himself that you never would have known about had he not extended some type of trust to you.

You needed him to fuck you. You needed him wrapping his arms around you and holding you against his chest, hips thrusting into yours. You were bouncing on the dildo now, uncaring of how much it hurt, fingers still rubbing large, unskilled circles into your clit. You were high off him, completely entranced and focused on Andy. “Daddy…”

“You close?”

“Yes. Can I please come?”

“You can come, angel.” He stroked himself faster, opposite hand settling on the desk as he leaned over a little.

You took as much of the dildo as you could and stayed, just focusing on touching your clit. You whimpered and whined as you approached your finish, mewling ‘daddy’ at least a dozen times, and told him several times that you needed him inside you, and promised you would do anything for his cock. He was quiet even though he was still fucking his fist, wanting to hear every sound you were making for him.

You nearly collapsed when your orgasm hit. Thankfully, instead of down—because seriously, this was an obnoxiously large toy and there was still so much that wasn’t inside you yet—you fell forward and caught yourself with both hands. You continued to roll your hips, haphazardly moving your hair out of the way with one hand at a time so he could see your breasts move and just how far down you were getting. One feeling you never quite got rid of, no matter what you were doing, no matter how good whatever you were being fucked with was: his praise was even better than coming.

“Fuck, baby girl,” he blurted out. You heard one of his knees buckle, it hit the desk he was standing behind.

“Are you close, daddy?”

He hummed shortly.

“I wish I was there, daddy. I want to taste you so bad.”

And that was all he needed. With a slight groan, his cum streaked out onto the desk between him and his laptop. His hand slowed but didn’t fully stop until he was done coming. He fell back into his chair, chest rising and falling with his quick breaths.

“You want me to come over, daddy? I could help you clean your desk.”

He scoffed. “Come on, princess, don’t start being a tease.”

“I’m not,” you promised. “Really, I’ll come over if you want me to.”

He finally looked back at the screen, eyes moving over you as you pushed yourself back onto your knees. Though you still felt the toy was too big, it no longer hurt so you were counting this a success. If you continued to use it every day until you were working for him again, fucking him wouldn’t be so difficult. At least you hoped.

“You wanna come over? You’re not scared of getting caught anymore?”

You shrugged. Yes, you were still terrified but your pathetic desire to be touched by that man could make you do some pretty stupid things.

“Don’t be a brat,” he scoffed.

“Then you should come here. My parents won’t notice.”

“I’m not some uncontrollably horny teenage boy you can convince to sneak in through your window. Come on, you just gotta wait a little longer.”

You sighed. “But I want you.”

“I know, trust me, I want you…” His eyes lowered on the screen and he sighed. “I want to taste you, too. Especially after you just finished.”

You leaned forward to grab the edge of the laptop and pulled it closer. “Look, daddy, I took a lot.”

“You did, baby,” he agreed, voice still just a little light. You came down much faster than him. You had to stall and get him ready to go before he decided it was time to end the call. You wanted to see him. In person. And you were not opposed to playing dirty.

“Do you want me to try again? I can do more—”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, angel. You did good today, you need to rest before we do this again. Maybe take a day or two.”

A day or two? Fuck that. He couldn’t see your face, all he could actually see was the dildo still buried in your pussy. You looked down, finding your slick was dripping down the toy. This was going to be easy. You took your fingers and ran them up, collecting what had leaked out of you. You brought it up to your mouth and moaned lewdly—you had to be a little extra, just to make sure he knew.

“Sweetheart,” he warned.

“I wish you could taste me, too, daddy. I’m really good.”

“Come on,” he complained. “Stop it, right now.”

“I could get in my car right now, daddy. We could drive out to that dead-end street by the park. Just one quick, little taste and then I’ll come back home and get into bed and make some more videos for you.”

He said nothing, which you always knew actually meant that you were closer than he wanted to let on.

“Please, daddy? I just need something…summer is so far away.”

“Damn it,” he muttered, finally sitting up straight in the chair. “Damn it, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, daddy but I really, really need you.” You started to pull your hips up and then slowly slid back down. “Can’t you hear how wet I still am?”

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Okay. Okay, fine.”

You shoved the laptop back, leaning down on your forearms. “Really?”

“But you’re going to keep that toy inside your pussy.”

“What?”

“Keep it right where it is. Get dressed. Drive to the dead-end street. Wait for me. Oh, bring a towel.”

“A towel?” You tried not to sound too excited, but you knew you’d failed. He wasn’t really planning on fucking you, was he? You wanted it, you would never say no to that man, but you hadn’t thought it would be so easy.

“You’ll need to bite down on something when I’m spanking you.”

Oh, fuck.

#andy barber x reader #always accepting andy requests just fyi #my writing

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moldisgoodforyou · 4 years ago

Text

you’re my favorite (iv)

wordcount: 1.6k

part one | part two | part three

______

The next morning, Rafe didn’t wake up until nearly noon. He checked his phone with a groan, seeing a single text notification.

Sophie: hey. can I see you?

When Rafe finally woke up, head pounding, he rolled over to check his phone like he always did first thing in the morning. (Then he was sorely reminded that the only time he didn’t do that was when Sophie stayed over.) When he saw the text from her, he practically shot out of bed, yanking his phone charger out of the wall in the process. He dialed Sophie’s number almost immediately - only taking a split second to have to scroll through his contacts, as they hadn’t talked on the phone in weeks.

She’d been up since seven am, anxious as she waited for his reply. Both Julia and Allie had told her to wait, text him later in the day when he was actually awake so she wouldn’t stress herself out, but her nerves won out. Sophie was a little surprised to see him call first, expecting the cold shoulder through text for a moment.

“Rafe? Hello?”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Soph, hey. I got your text.”

Just the nickname alone made her feel sure of herself again. “Yeah...can I come over and we can talk? Is that okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. You can head over, I’ll see you soon.” He smiled, almost instantly forgetting about the last two weeks he’d had. At her expense. The second he hung up, he caught the look James was sending him. “What?”

“You’re gonna let her off the hook that easy?”

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.” Rafe frowned.

“She’s the one that hurt you here. Then she calls and you’re smiling like an idiot.” Colin told him, standing to give him space. James promptly whacked Colin upside the head. “It’s been two weeks, he’s not hurt. Don’t listen to him, Rafe.”

He regarded the two of them with a little confusion. “Uh. I think it’ll be okay. Do you guys mind giving us the room?”

“No, not at all.” James dragged Colin out of the room and Rafe could hear an argument brewing between the two of them, but decided not to listen in. Instead he hurriedly made his bed - and on second thought, Colin and James’ too - to make it look like he hadn’t spent all his free time in their room for the past two weeks.

Sophie let herself into Delt, like always. (It felt oddly formal to have to text Rafe and ask to be let in.) She passed through the living room to the stairs and James called out to her, him and Colin pretending to study. “Hey, Sophie!”

She turned and gave them a hesitant smile, hands shoved in her pockets. “Hi James. Hi Colin.”

“It’s good to see you around. Just, uh, go easy on him, okay?” James returned the smile easily, while Colin stayed silent and didn’t look her way.

Sophie frowned and stepped closer, lowering her voice. “Huh? I don’t understand.”

Colin sighed exasperatedly, always blunt. “If you’re gonna hurt him -”

“What? No!” She shook her head quickly. “No, I don’t want to - I’m not going to - look, I want to talk this out. Promise.”

“Oh.” James nodded. “That’s not what I expected.”

“I would never.” She emphasized.

“Hm. Carry on, then.” Colin sat back into the couch and Sophie gave them one last look before nodding and heading up the stairs. She felt slightly more confident now, figuring the boys wouldn’t react that way if Rafe didn’t want to stay together. She paused just before entering his room and knocked, just once.

Rafe took a deep breath before opening the door, then turned the knob and stepped back to let her in. She bit the inside of her cheek once she saw him, offering a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He did the same, a slightly awkward tension growing between them.

“Are you okay?” She frowned, looking over his expression, then her eyes flitted around the room for any sign of heartbreak.

“I’m alright.” He paused. “I missed you.”

“Fuck, I missed you too. So much.” Sophie lifted her hands just a bit toward him, then shoved them back in her pockets. “I’m so sorry, Rafe, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want this.”

He cocked his head a little, floppy hair falling into his eyes. “Then why did you say yes? When I asked about the break?”

“Because! I thought you wanted it!”

“You thought I - what? No, god, I offered it hoping you wouldn’t want it!” Rafe exclaimed, letting out a quiet laugh.

“Oh my god.” Sophie reached out, arms extended for a half-hearted hug, then stopped herself. “I’m sorry, can I -?” She barely got the rest of her words out before Rafe stepped closer too and crushed her in a tight hug. She wrapped her arms securely around his waist, burying her face in his chest. He held one hand to the back of her head, thumb stroking over her hair as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Missed this.” He mumbled.

She nodded, growing a little teary. “Me too. Couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Me either.” He confessed, not wanting to let her go. The two stood there for a moment until she pulled away first, only to reach up and kiss him. He kissed her back slowly, hands tight on her hips. “Soph.” He murmured.

“Hm?” She mumbled back against his lips.

“Still need to talk.” He pulled back, resting his forehead on hers. She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. Let’s talk.” Sophie paused. “I’ll be open, promise.”

Rafe kissed her shortly again before taking her hand, pulling her to the couch. He turned to face her but kept ahold of her hand, not willing to let her go just yet. “Can I ask you something?”

She faced him, cross-legged. “Yeah, of course.”

He hesitated, careful with his words. “Am I wrong to say you’ve been acting a little off? Since the Christmas party?”

Sophie avoided his gaze for a moment, thinking over her answer. She was surprised someone could read her so well, almost so sure she had kept herself guarded enough from Rafe for him to pick up on it. “No. You’re not wrong.”

He frowned, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles over the back of her hand. “But why? I thought we were in a good place with the two of us.”

“We are, we are.” She reassured him quickly. “I just...” She paused to think, not sure how much she wanted to tell him, to truly let on how insecure she’d felt. “I just - you have this whole world around you, and people treat you differently because of who you are. Your dad looked like - I don’t know, disappointed that you brought me, and -”

“Sophie.”

She kept rambling, more talking to herself now than anything. “I’m not in the same position as you, I can’t give you expensive things -”

“Soph -”

She barreled on anyways. “- and take you to fancy places, I can’t really measure up to your expectations -”

He reached out and squeezed her knee to break her train of thought. “Hey, hey, stop! Shh, please. Listen to me.”

She bit the inside of his cheek, preparing herself for what he might say. Rafe laughed a little as he sensed her nervous anticipation and kissed her cheek, trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t expect any of that from you, baby. I don’t care. I really don’t.”

“But I’m not like you.”

“Good. Wouldn’t want to date someone like me anyways.” He pulled her close, his arm around her shoulders.

“What about your dad?” She frowned.

He shifted, a small scowl on his face. “I’ve talked with him. It won’t be an issue.”

“Oh.” She fell quiet and leaned into him, cuddling into his side.

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “I hope I didn’t make you feel that way. About any of what you said.”

“No, that’s the thing.” Sophie lifted her head to look him in the eye, giving him a shy smile. “You’re the constant in all this. It’s just me being dumb.”

“Hey. Don’t call my girlfriend dumb.” He nudged her, grinning when she rolled her eyes. “Look, Soph, I want to treat you, okay? I know you like your independence, that’s part of why I -” Rafe stopped himself abruptly before he could finish the sentence. “Part of why I like you so much. But I want to do things like take you out for dinner and not have you worrying about when you’re going to pay me back.”

She nodded, slowly. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.” He kissed her, short and sweet. “I just need you to talk to me. I can’t read your mind.”

“You should work on that.”

He laughed and flicked her arm. “I’ll get right to it. Are we okay?”

Sophie nodded again, meeting him with a kiss. “We’re okay. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

“I will too, I should have picked up earlier that something felt off.” He tucked a small piece of hair behind her ear and gave her a wry smile. “You should have seen me the past two weeks, I was a wreck. Don’t wanna go through that again.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t great either.” She admitted, dropping her head back to his shoulder. “I do have a really busy schedule this semester though. Like, way busier than I thought it’d be. So I might tell you I’m doing something, but I’m not making excuses, promise.”

He hummed in acknowledgment. “We’ll make time, Soph. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You mean it?”

“Always. You’re my favorite.”

#rafe x sophie #mine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfic #college rafe #frat rafe #obx fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction

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pasiveagressive · 5 years ago

Text

Married // N.H.

Requested.

Warnings: None?

This was a really cute idea I took it in a little bit of a different direction so I hope you like it!

It has been a little over a month since you got married to the love of your life and best friend. You had dreamed for a long time about being Mrs. Horan and it feels a little surreal that it actually happened.

The two of you had wanted the day to be perfect, only your closest friends and family were made aware that it was happening. The guest list had ended up being less than 100 people which both you and Niall were totally fine with. Your siblings and parents were invited as well as a few members of your extended family. Niall asked his brother to be his best man and you asked your best friend Julia Micheals to be maid of honor. She was the reason that you and Niall had met in the first place so it seemed only fitting. Niall had invited his parents of course, but he had decided to invite his other brothers as well. He was very torn about it, but in the end you told him to do it, the boys were family to him for many years of his life and several of yours too.

As it had gotten closer to the date and none of the boys had RSVPed yet Niall had gotten more and more upset. He had tried not to let it show that it was bothering him so much but he can’t hide anything from you. The deadline was approaching and they still hadn’t said whether they were coming or not so you decided to take it into your own hands and call them.

“ ‘ello?” A raspy voice picked up the phone

“ Hi Harry.” you respond

“ Who is this, and how did you get this number?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, I have had your number for several years.”

“Oh my god, hi love how are you?” you can basically hear him smile through the phone.

“I am doing really good Haz, what about you.” you answer honestly

“I am living my dream so you know couldn’t be better.”

“I am so happy to hear that Harry.” and you are even if you want to ring his neck for blowing off your wedding invitation and making Niall stress. “So, this isn’t really a social call.” you inform him

“What can I help you with Y/N?”

“Did you get the invitation?” you say and you could hear your annoyance in your own voice but you were annoyed so you didn’t really care.

“Invitation?” Harry asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“To Niall and my wedding?”

“WHAT?” he yelled “No I didn’t when is it?”

“3 Weeks, August 20, at Oheka Castle in Long Island, New York.”

“I will be there love.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Okay Haz see you then. Love you.”

The other conversations had gone basically the same way. Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn would all be at your wedding. But you couldn’t help but wonder why none of them had gotten their invitations.

To say Niall had been surprised was an understatement. You were pretty sure that he cried more when he saw them then he did when you walked down the aisle ( A fact that you made fun of him for your whole honeymoon.). Louis hooted and hollered when the priest told Niall he could kiss you leading to the other boys joining in and the two of you laughing into your kiss Your wedding party was just your maid of honor and Niall’s best man so, during pictures you had invited the boys to get in some, they had all declined at first but you were stubborn and they knew that so they eventually gave in. The reception was a blast and as you watched Niall interact with the boys it was like you were taken back in time. They were all better together and as much as they might not admit it they knew it too. It was late into the reception and everyone had quite a bit of alcohol in their system when you convinced the five of them to sing to you. After all it was your day and you should get whatever you wanted. None of them tried to argue with that logic and went to sing what they knew to be one of your favorites.

All of that lead to where you are now, sitting in an airport with your husband smiling at the video of the boys on your phone.

“What are you so smiley over?” Niall teases you

“You and your best friends.” you smile up at him.

“Oh yeah?”

“You guys just have this magic together that makes me smile anytime I watch you perform

together.” It’s his turn to smile

“Yeah we were pretty great huh?”

“You were more than pretty great, you were life changing.” you grab his hand and just then your flight gets called.

While you are waiting for everyone to finish boarding you decide to do something that could cause some major drama but you elect to ignore that possibility. You click on the video and hit share,

So grateful to have had these boys at the most important day of our lives, more grateful that they agreed to serenade me.

You post that then click on a couple of the pictures from your bridal party shoot.

I love that no matter how far apart they are these boys never lose their friendship.

You then put your phone in airplane mode and pick a movie to watch with Niall.

Once you get off the plane and turn your phone back on it doesn’t stop dinging.

“What’s going on angel?” Niall asks

“Hmmm.” You say barely hearing him too busy being focused on all the comments coming in.

Omg they are perfect

Oh my gosh the one direction boys were at Niall and Y/N’s wedding

One Direction!!!!!!!!

Do you think they would sing at my wedding?

All of the one direction boys in one place this is amazing

And there are thousands of comments like them

You get home before Niall sees anything.

“Y/N what did you do?” he laughing

“Nothing honey just posted some pictures from our wedding day!”

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demivampirew · 5 years ago

Text

Do I mean anything to you? part 2 (final part)

It started as a one-shot, but I had an idea for a second part, so here it is 😁

Soft and fluffy (and angry too) August x reader

Triggers: fighting; kidnapping; anarchism/terrorism; metions of guns, bombs, etc; crying

A/N: This is a re-writing of the movie ending.

You can find more of my writings in the Masterlist

Tag list: @lunedelorient @henrythickcavill @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @mary-ann84 @desperate-and-broken @peakygroupie @summersong69 @ivvitm1109 @madbaddic7ed @iloveyouyen @the-soot-sprite @hell1129-blog

- Did you truly think you could fool me and get away with it, Walker? - Sloane asked August, who was handcuffed into a chair in an interrogation room. They were alone in that room, but there were plenty of agents outside of the room in case their boss needed them to help to control him. August remained silent with his eyes fixed on her.

After the IMF played him to prove that he was the double agent, August allowed them to take him as a prisoner, only to allow the rest of the anarchist team to help Lane escape. They asked him many times about his location but August did not know the answer and even if he did he wouldn't help the CIA catch him. He knew that he was to value to the cause against The Apostles so they wouldn't get rid of him, and if they did it, at least his mission of freeing Solomon was a success.

- You won't talk, would you? Huh.- she questioned, raising an eyebrow- Well, let's see if I can find something that'd make you talk.- Erika said and grabbed his phone, dialled a number and after waiting for the person in the other side of the line to respond, she said "bring her in" while starring directly into his eyes. There was panic on them, anyone could have noticed it. He knew at that moment who "her" was.

Minutes went by and then the door opened. An agent grabbed you by your arm as he walked you into the room and as soon as you saw August, you ran into him. You cupped his face with your hands and press your forehead against him. He wanted to fight it. He should have pretended not to know you for that would have been the best for you, but as soon as he felt your sweet touch, he lost all the strength for resistance.

The agents in the room forced you to stand afar from him, not without a fight.

- Hurt her and I'll fucking kill you!- he shouted with burning anger. His eyes went from the agents to Sloane.

- Calm down.- the CIA leader ordered to the double agent- Tell me what I need to know and I'll set her free. Hell, if you give me all the information I need, I might consider pardoning you and allowing you to retire to live a happy life with this woman, but that's all up to you.- she offered him- So, tell me August, what are you going to do? He closed his eyes and looked to the other side. Erika sighed and gave a new order- Take her away and locked her. He quickly turned his eyes when he heard her complain about how the agent that was holding her was grabbing her too tight and made her hurt.

- Stop!- Walker shouted and Sloane looked at him. His white pearls were showing. Rage was written all over his face- You want Lane? Fine, I'll give him to you. I don't know where he's now, but I'll find him for you.- he promised her- But first, I need your word that you would let her and me go afterwards.- he said, looking at you and then his eyes were set on her again. -Fine. Considered it done.- she agreed after a moment of thinking. - She, of course, will stay here until your mission is fulfilled. Considerate a security deposit. Bring me Lane and the plutonium and you both are free; fool me and I'll kill her. Don't play with me August, you know me well.-she warned him and with a head gesture she indicated her employees to take you away- The sooner you complete the mission, the sooner you'll be back in the arms of your lovely woman.

He wanted to kill everyone there. He hated every single rat working there and he hated you. He had ideals he was fighting for...a better reality and he was about to give all that up to save you and to be with you. But, even the thought of hating on you hurt him: he loved you, more than anything. He hated himself to be honest. He hated how he allowed himself to fall in love with you and he despited himself for putting you in danger. Now was the time to make things right.

He had no idea where Solomon was, but he figured out that at least one of all the other double agents should know something about it. He found one of them and convinced him that he managed to escape or that was what he thought. The man set him a trap and a group of gunmen were waiting for him to kill him. August might be a big man, but he was quicker than he seemed. He took down the anarchists, leaving the one who planned the trap alive to make him tell him where Lane was. Walker broke the fingers of the agent's right hand, hearing his screams of pain, promising that the pain would get worse if he didn't give him the information he required.

Solomon was in a small medical camp on Siachen Glacier. He planned to explode the plutonium bombs there.

As August expected, Lane knew that Walker was a traitor. He had him surrounded by his subordinates as soon as he set a foot on the house he was staying.

- I did not have you as a weak person.- Solomon told him- what's the reason behind your change of teams?- he asked studying August's face- Let me guess, they found your lady friend, didn't they?- Walker's eyes were wide open now. He knew about her as well. - Yes, I know about her.- he replied as if he could read his mind- And I was going to finished her in you failed on the mission, but I guess they found her first.

That confession unleashed August's anger and with quick yet strong moves he took down the ten men in the place, leaving only Lane alive. He grabbed him and threw him on the floor, quickly tying him so he would no escape. After the call with Sloane, he remembered that he still needed the plutonium to complete the mission.

- What's the matter? Missing something?- Lane mocked him when he saw August focused on his thoughts. - Shut up.- he ordered him. - Do you think she's worthy of all this trouble? Tell me, do you seriously believe that you'll be able to live a happy life with that woman now that she knows what you have done? All those lives you took... people like her do no understand our mission. “There cannot be peace without first a great suffering. The greater the suffering, the greater the peace.” You'll suffer a lot her loss, true, but think about the reward. You still on time to do the right thing.- Solomon said trying to change August's mind.

- Raise your hands!- someone shouted to him. It was Ethan Hunt. He entered the house and was pointing towards Augusts with a gun. He turned around to face the IMF agent, as he did what he asked him. - I'm on your team, Hunt.- he informed him bitterly. - Yeah, sure.- Ethan answered with a short sarcastic laugh. - I'm being honest. Sloane sent me to bring her Lane and the plutonium.- he explained. - Why I'm supposed to believe that you're telling the truth?- he questioned. - Julia. - August said and he saw his enemy's eye open wide in surprise. - How do you know that name? -he requested both angry and afraid. - Don't you think I would work with you without making a previous research, did you?- he explained- Anyhow... you have your Julia, Sloane has mine. She will kill her if I don't give him what she wants. - That doesn't make you being on my team. Now surrender, I'm taking you both back to CIA.

To Hunt's surprise, Walker was quicker than he seemed and was fighting him even before he had a chance to blink. The men fight each other until August had Ethan's head trapped in his arm. The IMF hero tried to set himself free but couldn't for his arms were too big and strong. August realized that he needed to work with him if he wanted to succeed, so he had to convince him.

- Listen to me.- August shouted to the man fighting him to free himself- We need to work together. We can end this sooner and you'll save the life of the woman you love and I'll save mine. The CIA will soon be here to take him down and I'll go with them. You can come as well if you don't trust me. But I need to find the plutonium and give it back. If we stop fighting now and get to work, soon this will be over, otherwise, I'll have to kill you, because I won't risk the life of the person I love for you. - I cannot trust you, Walker.- Ethan pointed out. August sighed and grabbed his phone with his free hand and searched on his gallery, opening a folder locked with a password and then showed to Hunt. He looked at the photos: lots of photos of you - sleeping, cooking, laughing; pictures of the two of you kissing and hugging. The way August looked at you was what the IMF agent needed to know you were being honest. Your man trusted him because he knew that Hunt wouldn't allow an innocent life to be taken as collateral damage.

Ilsa Faust and Benji Dunn took the task of making sure Lane didn't escape while they searched for the bombs. One was found by Luther and Ethan's sidekick called him to let him know that the other explosive was on the house.

Lane's words were stuck in August's mind. He was on his way back to rescue you. Getting the plutonium and the anarchist was the easy part, making the love of his life, such a sweet woman to want to be with him knowing that he was not how he told her he was. He never lied to you since your relationship started, but certainly, he hid information about his other side. Could you forgive him for killing people? He knew that even if you hate him now, just the fact that you were safe was good reason enough for him to go that mission.

Sloane kept her part of the deal and released you and pardon him, with the condition that she would send people constantly to check that he was truly out of the game.

You ran into his arms and he pulled you closer to him, putting an arm on your back and the other in your head. After an inspection to make sure you were unharmed, he kissed you and pressed his forehead against yours. You hugged him tight and cry of fear for everything that had happened.

Two weeks later...

He bought a new house in a suburb using his life savings. He was used to renting apartments and move constantly, but this time he wanted a stable place for you two. After a long talk, he promised you that his anarchist days were behind, same for the CIA job. He would find something else to earn money and live a decent life with you. You, on the other hand, assured him that you would work hard to make him see the world through other eyes, so he could see why his previous belief was wrong. You'll teach him how beautiful the world could be.

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #august walker #august walker x reader #august walker fanfic #august walker fanfiction #demivampirew

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marwritesgood · 5 years ago

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Match | O. Diaz

Pairing: Oscar x Finnie!Reader

Timeframe: Season 2 - Season 3 (SPOILERS)

Summary: It’s hard what they have had to go through, but they’ve always had each other.

masterlist

A/N: lemme make one thing clear, siblings who have had to assume parental roles in their younger sibling’s life because of incompetent parents are nothing to glamourise or sensationalise. that shit is so hard and so unfair on everyone involved, because it robs so many kids of the luxury of getting to be a kid. no one deserves to have to grow up so fast. i am so touched by how this was represented this season. cheers xox

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Monse was packing a bag and really about to make a decision I could already tell she would live to regret. With Cesar and her broken up, and out last conversation being a tumultuous argument, it seemed she didn’t care about the people she was leaving behind.

“Are you really gonna keep ignoring me, Monse?”

My little sister turns to glare at me, only to turn back around and zip her bag up, before placing the strap over her shoulder. For the past few weeks, she said all but two words to me (”fuck you”), the rest of our communication were made up of me talking and her glaring holes through all the sides of my head.

“Dad?” Monse calls out, as she heads into our kitchen, with me following after her. Our dad was drinking a mug of coffee, when he turned up to see us standing on the opposite side of our kitchen island. “Can we go now? I’m starting to sense a negative presence in the room”

“Oh grow up,” I retorted, folding my arms as once again, Monse spoke of me indirectly, but glared at me in the most direct way possible.

“Actually sweetie,” my dad began, before awkwardly reaching for the car keys in his pocket, and handing them to me as he continued. “I’m gonna let Y/n drive you there.”

Monse may as well have thrown a full-blown tantrum with the way she scoffed aloud, crossed her arms and stormed off to where my dad’s car was parked. I predicted that perhaps Jamal’s dramatic tendencies were beginning to rub off on her.

The first few minutes of the car ride were silent. Monse had opted to listening to music as opposed to listening to me, but when her phone died, I quietly thanked the universe for giving me a chance to make amends with my sister.

“Monse?”

“What?” She answered harshly, turning her head to the view outside her window as opposed to looking at me.

“... I’m sorry, okay?” She shifted her posture so she was sitting taller, and glanced my way for a split second- sure sign that she was willing to listen to me, finally. I wasn’t one to be the first to say sorry, Spooky could tell you all about that. “You have a right to know who our mom is, and I shouldn’t have tried to stop you from finding out.”

Monse nodded, which was enough for me to feel lighter now that things were better between us. The next few minutes were silent against, but it was far more bearable this time around.

“She’s changed you know,” Monse whispers only just loud enough for me to hear. And just like that, my heart dropped. I was so afraid of her getting hurt, but it seemed like she was already setting herself up for that without even realising. “You could stay for dinner... See it for yourself.”

I sighed. I wanted to be honest with Monse. I wanted to tell her the brutal truth about what happened between our parents from the time we were born to the time she left us for good. But seeing how happy Monse was, packing her things and looking to spend time with the one person she’s yearned to know for so long. What kind of a person would I be to ruin that for her?

“Maybe another time, Mon.”

That’s all I needed to say for Monse to drop the topic. The fact that I didn’t respond in an outrage was enough for her, it seemed. Little did she know how hard it was to keep myself from yelling and bawling both at the same time.

Once we got to Julia’s house, I helped Monse with the one suitcase she had packed, while she carried the other backpack she brought with her. We didn’t even need to knock for the door to swing open, and for Julia to embrace Monse in a warm hug. Nice to know she was capable of showing affection to her daughter.

As they pulled apart from one another, I coughed quietly to fill the evidently awkward silence. When I looked up, I saw Julia gazing at me, tears brimming in her eyes. How I wished I had just sprinted to my dad’s car and drove off. I signed up for making amends with Monse, not reuniting with the woman who ruined my life.

“Y/n?” She place her hand over her mouth, and inhaled deeply. I stared at her, emotionless, because I knew getting angry or upset would make things worse between Monse and I. I didn’t need that. “You’ve grown up so beautifully.”

That was far different from how she treated me in the few years she stuck around. I wanted to slap her then and there.

“I’m gonna go say hi to the kids,” Monse said, as she wheeled her suitcase inside, right after taking her shoes off beside their coat rack. 2 seconds in and she was already changing her habits to fit in. I didn’t want to know what she’d be like when I pick her up in a month or so. I secretly hoped she would be begging to come home by then.

With Monse gone, Julia’s expression turned from joyful to regretful. I already had my fair share in life to know white tears when I saw them. For some reason, I stuck around long enough witness them fall again.

“Y/n... I am so sorry,” she wept. She had the audacity to cry in front of me, like she was the one who dealt with the brunt of her actions. I knew then that she hadn’t changed. Not enough for me to ever consider sticking around for dinner, so much as a conversation.

“Monse didn’t specify how long she’ll be staying, but she has my number and unlimited texts.” I wasn’t about to be vulnerable in front of this woman. I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of talking out what she did to her daughter. She didn’t deserve that. She never would. “She knows most of the important stuff she needs to know, but if anything comes up, just get her to call or text me.”

Julia nods silently, understanding that just because Monse wanted a relationship with her, didn’t mean she was any less dead to me than she was the last time she abandoned my family.

I was about to turn around and leave, but there was one thing I needed to get off my chest. Not for my sake. Not for Julia’s. But for Monse’s.

“She’s been looking forward to this for a really long time,” I began, looking over Julia’s shoulder and watching Monse run around the living room with Julia’s youngest kids. “Longer than you know... So I swear to God, Julia... If you hurt her the way you hurt me, I will make sure you live to regret it.”

The way she held her breath, as I coldly threatened her, was enough for me to be satisfied. I drove off without saying goodbye. Without even looking back to see if Julia was still standing on her front doorstep, but I knew she was. I wonder if she understood the irony in that.

With little to do, now that Monse was out of the house and my dad was getting ready to hit the road again, I decided to stop at Oscar’s on my way back home. For most of my life, he was the person I went to when I needed to vent to someone who got me.

And that was the thing that made me fall for him so quickly. He just... got me.

“You saw her?” He asked, as he fixed the both of us cups of coffee. Neither one of us were going to be sleeping anytime soon. Not with all the shit we had going on in our lives.

“Yeah,” I answered sadly, fiddling with the mug handle. Spooky took hold of my other hand; a thing he’d do anytime I started fidgeting with something. “She hasn’t changed... I wish Monse would see that.”

“You spent your whole life protecting her from Julia,” he reasoned. “She never had to know what she did to you guys... You didn’t want her to hurt the way you did growing up.”

I nodded. He was right, but that didn’t make the situation any less painful than it already was.

“I’m scared it’s gonna happen though,” I whispered, staring down at my mug as a way of keeping me from tearing up. “You should’ve seen how happy she was... How much trust she has that Julia’s actually changed.”

Oscar runs his hand over his mouth and down his chin, before gently squeezing my hand.

“She has to find out somehow,” he stated, looking at me apologetically because nothing he could say could change what would inevitably happen. “We can’t protect them from everything... no matter how badly we wanna.”

And we couldn’t. I couldn’t protect Monse from our mom. Oscar couldn’t protect Cesar the world of the Santos. But we really wanted to. We really really did.

***

It had been a good handful of months since Monse and I saw Julia last. Much like I predicted, she hadn’t changed. And unfortunately for Monse, this meant she had to find out the hard way that our mother was an awful person.

“You’re really not gonna go to the funeral?”

Monse and my dad were both dressed in their nicest black attire, whilst I was still wearing what I had gone to sleep in. I told them I wouldn’t step foot in Brentwood again, but it seemed that they only now understood how serious I was.

“Y/n,” my dad always spoke softly to the two of us, particularly when we were at a disagreement. “I really think you should come with us.”

I took a spoonful of cereal to my mouth and chewed loudly, before speaking again. This was my way of emphasising how little I cared for the matter at hand. Julia was dead to me a long time ago. I already did my grieving. She didn’t deserve so my respect, so I wasn’t about to pay that to her anytime soon.

“I’m not coming.” I looked at my dad and shook my head. He sighed, and took hold of the car keys, before grabbing his coat. Monse however wasn’t having any of it.

“I can’t believe you,” she said loudly, despite my dad’s attempts at calling her to go to the car. “Our mother is dead, Y/n. Don’t you think it’s important you go to her funeral?!”

I placed my bowl down abruptly, making my dad walk back into the kitchen, because anytime Monse and I dropped what was in our hands, shit was about to go down.

“She’s been dead to me for a long time, Monse, I don’t owe that woman anything.”

I could feel my dad’s eyes widen, and I knew I was beginning to cross a line. Talking bad about Julia to my dad and Oscar before was one thing, but now that she was dead, and since this was Monse I was talking to, we were in uncharted territory.

“What about me, or her kids? You’re being so selfish, Y/n!” I ignored her and began putting my dishes away. It hurt hearing her say what she did, but I wasn’t in the mood to argue. Monse, however, apparently was. “You know you’re a lot more like her than you wanna believe.”

And I thought I was crossing a line.

“You better watch your mouth, Monse,” I growled, trying to keep myself from throwing something at my little sister. A spoon perhaps? “You have no right to say that to me. Unlike her, I’ve looked out for you from the beginning.”

We moved away from the kitchen island, and were now standing opposite each other, with all but my dad in our way. He held both his hands out, almost as a precaution in case one of us threw a punch.

“Oh please,” she spat. My dad glanced over at me. Knowing where this was heading, he knew how personal this was becoming for me especially. “I never asked you to become my mother.”

I gasped quietly, only just loud enough for my dad and I to hear.

“Y/n-”

I shook my head. There was no coming from this, at least not today. No matter how softly my dad spoke to me or how hurt Monse was by everything that had happened, I couldn’t bring myself to pretend like things were okay. They weren’t. They hadn’t been for a while, even before we found out about Julia.

No longer able to stand in the same room as Monse, I walked out of the kitchen and out of the house, making sure not to tear up until I was positive that I was definitely on my own. This wouldn’t last for long though because, just as I did in any time of crisis or mental breakdown, I headed towards Spooky’s place.

And just as well, by the time I got there, I saw his father walking away from the house, a duffel bag in his clutched hand- the same he had when he arrived from prison. I waited around the corner until he left, before approaching Oscar.

I could tell that whatever argument they were having, it wasn’t one I needed to get involved in.

“Spooky?”

Once realising I had seen what happened, he shakes his head, runs his hand over his mount and sits on the steps of his front door. Making no sudden movements, I slowly sat beside him.

“Did he leave?”

He flares his nostrils and looks up at the streetlights before nodding.

Shifting closer to him, I placed on hand around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder, only after placing a small kiss on the bare skin.

“You not going to the funeral?”

I shook my head, before leaning into him. He takes his arm and wraps it around my frame, allowing me to lean into his chest. He was so good at showing me love, despite never receiving any from the people he needed it most from.

“How are you gonna tell Cesar?” I asked, looking up at him concerningly.

“... I don’t know,” he sighs.

“Why do we have to go through this?” I cried, placing my head in my hands. Oscar rubs my back gently all the while. “It sucks so much, you know? When Monse was staying at Brentwood she looked so happy... Why couldn’t we have had that growing up? Julia can give that to her white kids... but not to us.”

It was a rhetorical question of course. Spooky and I had our fair share of pain. We both knew how messed up things are for no apparent reason.

“You know she wrote her a letter?” Again, a rhetorical question. I knew for a fact that Monse told Spooky about it in a drunken haze. “Despite everything that happened, Monse still cared about her.”

“... How about you?”

My lips began to tremble, because I finally began to understand why I held so much anger towards Julia. Why, even when she showed some kindness to Monse, I still couldn’t look at her without feeling so much rage in my heart.

As I began to tear up again, Oscar held me until I started to recover. I hated how much power that woman still ad over me. That even when she projected all of her internalised insecurities onto me for a good chunk of my life, I was still distraught that she was gone. That we’d never be able to reconcile our relationship.

The sun began to set when I rested my head on Spooky’s shoulder, and stared out into the block we called home; thinking about our two siblings, of whom we had to look out for. Of the innocence we were robbed of. Of the childhood we never got to enjoy.

“Do you think they’re gonna be okay?” He asks, staring just as intently as I was into the streets.

“Yeah... They will.” And I really believed that.

“What about us?” This time he turns his to me and gazes into my eyes, emphasising how serious and intimate his question was. “Think we’ll make it?”

I couldn’t think of an answer that would accurately encapsulate my enthusiasm and confidence, so I took hold of his face and kissed him softly. And I could feel him smiling as I did so, pulling me closer to him with the strength of his arms.

#oscar #Oscar Diaz #oscar x reader #oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz x reader #spooky imagines #spooky imagine #spooky x reader #spooky x sister!reader #spooky diaz #on my block #on my block masterlist #on my block fanfiction #on my block imagines

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iwritesongfics · 5 years ago

Audio

Pairings: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, More emo sh*t, Run-on sentences?

Notes: Wow guys, what have I been listening to, right? Flashbacks in italics. Lemme know what you think! -x

Tag list: @fific7

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You should have known better than to get a drink alone, at Ardesia, no less. It was your spot, you brought him there first. That’s why you couldn’t believe it then when you saw him leaning against the bar, with a leggy model-type woman almost flush against his body, when he said he’d be home late because of work.

***

You had such a long day at work, that when you got Billy’s message of him working late, you thought it would be best to have dinner out and unwind. It was a Friday, after all, and after 60 hours of work this week you definitely deserved it.

Jessica had been pestering you to hang out with her for a few weeks, maybe the few times she’s actually not MIA due to all her cases. Maybe she was just bored, but she welcomed your invitation enthusiastically. “Time for you to tell me who you’ve been boning this whole time so much that you don’t have time for me!” she crowed, and you were so sure your whole department heard her screams through your receiver. “Kbye, see you Jess!” you tried to muffle your phone belatedly before hanging up on her.

“No shit, you’re dating Billy Russo?” Jessica said incredulously. “He’s way dangerous, Y/N! Good for you! Is he good in bed? He seems like the type,” she continued, wiggling her eyebrows as she swigged her drink. You were pretty sure she drank before coming to Ardesia, which was your favorite late-night haunt.

“Shhhh, shut up, Jessica!” she rolled your eyes at you and took another generous swig of her wine. She never liked “prissy drinks” but you loved this place, seeing you helped build it.

Your regular bartender, Julia, side-eyed Jessica with a laugh before placing a whole bottle in between you two. “I figured this’ll stop you guys from calling me every 2 seconds,” she said with a chuckle.

“So okay, spill! How did you guys meet?” Jessica pried, grabbing at your hand and shaking it so vigorously you almost literally spilled your wine on her. God, you missed Jessica. You guys had such a weird friendship. You were so strait-laced and traditional, making your uber-wealthy Upper East Sider parents happy with each and every decision you’ve ever made in your life. Jessica was the only thing that ever baffled them, but you’ve been best friends since kindergarten, when she socked a boy’s milk teeth off with a plastic truck for tugging at your braids. She’s been there ever since, and has taken up the role of (figuratively and literally) beating up guys for you, like the big sister you never had.

You told her that Anvil had met with your interior design firm to renovate some of their office floors for expansion, and you and Billy hit it off. Maybe you were a bad judge of character, and you knew he was probably bad news, but you guys hit it off. You passed on the project to one of your more senior associates to avoid professional conflict, of course, and in the few months you’ve been going out he really made you happy. “You probably think it’s stupid, Jess, but I think he’s the one.”

She suddenly clamped onto your arm. “I’d hold off on that if I were you,” she snapped, glaring at something (or someone) behind you. You turned slowly and saw Billy from the corner of your eye, arm wrapped around an extremely attractive woman at the other end of the bar.

“You want me to sock him?” Jessica asked sardonically.

“Jess!” you hissed, hitting her wrist.

“Her? Both? I’m not feeling very particular right now,” she was staring at them with narrowed eyes. You kept facing her, not wanting to see what was going in on at the other end of the bar. Your bar.

“Jess,” you whispered. She snapped out of her fury to look at you. Your face was blanched and you had a wide look in your eyes. “Babe, you’re gonna be fine, just focus on me, okay?” She kept her hand on your arm, squeezing it to keep you from having a full-blown panic attack.

“Why would he bring her here? He knows this is my place,” you mumbled, feeling violated. You hugged your arms together, trying to keep yourself from crying in a very public place.

Jessica rolled her eyes. “I fucking hate him. Come on!”

“Jess, no please!” Jessica strode over with the bottle of wine and you saw her douse them both with a very expensive red.

“What the fuck!” Billy shouted, scandalized. The woman bore the brunt of it, her expertly dyed platinum blonde hair turning a dark shade of plum.

“Yeah, what the fuck are you doing cheating on my friend!” Jessica shouted back, dropping the bottle at Billy’s feet, where it shattered into shards.

She stomped back towards you without another word and grabbed your arm to lead you out. Billy’s eyes widened when he saw you, but you looked away, not wanting to see those puppy dog eyes you won’t be able to resist.

“Y/N!” he shouted, leaping towards your retreating form. Jessica, with her superhuman strength, pushed him back, throwing him onto some watching bystanders.

“Don’t hurt him, Jess, let’s just go,” you whispered as calmly as you could. Don’t make a scene, don’t make a scene, don’t make a scene.

“Yeah, well, he deserves it,” she scoffed, marching you into a cab and taking you back to your apartment.

***

“Another?” Julia said, brandishing a bottle at you. You smiled at her; it was the first time you’ve set foot in this place after several months. “Yes, please,” you handed your empty wineglass to be refilled. You sat in comfortable silence, swilling your drink and enjoying the solitude. After all this time, this place was still your favorite. You just hoped you could exorcise that memory by drinking all the top shelf alcohol in the bar.

“Are you back for good?” she tried to make small talk. Your parents were supportive of you distancing yourself away from “that goon”, and you took a leave of absence from your company to while yourself away in your parents’ Hamptons estate. It was a good think that it was smack dab in the middle of summer when it happened, or you would have had bad weather during your hiatus.

“I think so,” you gave her a smile. It wasn’t her fault. It was Billy’s. It was months ago, but why are you still thinking of him like it just happened yesterday?

“Y/N?” Fuck.

“What are you doing here?” you asked. Without even looking, you knew it was Billy.

“I’ve been coming here every day since you left. I figured you’d come back eventually. I guess I was right.”

You still didn’t want to look at him. You didn’t think you could handle seeing him after all this time.

“Where did you go? You just disappeared,” he continued, placing a hand softly on your arm.

“You’re not the only one who knows how to disappear, Billy,” you said softly, coldly. You felt his grip clench against your arm as he blanched at your tone.

“Please let me explain. It wasn’t like that,” he said imploringly. You knew what would meet your eyes if you deigned to look at him.

“Look at me, please,” he whispered as if he knew why you weren’t looking at him on purpose.

“I’m done, Billy,” you said, resolutely refusing to look at him. You knew that if you did, all those months spent avoiding him would have been for nothing.

“I wasn’t cheating on you,” he replied. You looked at him in shock.

“Then what was that?” you smiled sardonically at him that he almost wished you would look away again.

“I was supposed to meet potential client, but he sent his daughter to bargain. Obviously, the deal fell through,” he said, gesturing to the wine you had on the bar counter.

“Why should I believe you?” you said suspiciously.

“Y/N, why would I bring someone here if I was cheating?” he implored. “This,” he gestured to the room. “This is your place. Our place. I would never – “He rubbed his nape with one hand in frustration.

“Then you just disappeared. Your office said you’d gone, and I couldn’t reach your number,” he sighed. “I’ve been looking for you for months.”

“I’m sorry, Billy,” you whispered. “I should have given you a chance to explain. I guess I got carried away with my friend’s advice, too.”

“Yeah, your friend’s something else,” he chuckled.

“She’s just trying to look out for me,” you replied, giving him a small smile. The first smile you gave him since he started the conversation.

“You’re all I could think about for months, Y/N,” Billy confessed. He took your hand in his and rubbed it with his fingers.

“Same. I kept thinking I would have enjoyed staying in the Hamptons if I were with you.”

“Can we start over? I promise I won’t hide stuff like this from you,” he said, looking into your eyes.

“Okay, and I promise not to overreact next time.”

He chuckled softly, taking your face in his hand and giving you a soft kiss. “You can overreact all you want, but promise me you won’t disappear like that. You have no idea how lonely I was this whole time.”

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #the punisher #marvel #spotify #song fics

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underthewingsofthblackeagle · 5 years ago

Photo

“Berliner Fernsehturm” * Foto: BernardoUPloud

After her marriage with Frank Randall has failed and Claire Beauchamp flees from her violent husband, she finds refuge in the house of the Fraser/Murray family in Berlin-Wilhelmshorst. But then tensions arise between Britain (which has since left the EU) and some EU member states. All holders of an English passport are required to leave EU territory within six weeks … and suddenly Claire’s fate looks more uncertain than ever.

This story was written for the #14DaysofOutlander event, hosted by @scotsmanandsassenach

Chapter 9: 14 Men (5)

After she sat down and Jamie poured everyone a glass of water, Ferdinand Groide began:

"Mrs. Beauchamp, Jamie, Mr. Fraser, told me that your husband is Dr. Frank Randall. Is that correct?"

(...)

"As you may also know, I have left my husband. Our marriage had been on paper only for several years. I intend to ask for a divorce, if that's possible from here. But I still have to care about this man's life. I'm a doctor, I took an oath. If I reveal the secrets I have learned... what will you do to him?"

"What do you mean? What are we going to do with him?"

"Will you hurt him? I mean, will you let someone hurt him?"

Ferdinand Groide and Jamie looked at each other in amazement.

"Mrs. Beauchamp, we're not the Mafia. We don't hire hit men."

"But you're in Intelligence, Mr. Groide."

Claire said that sentence with the same calm and objectivity as if she was saying to Jenny:

"If you put one more egg in the batter, it gets better."

"And intelligence agencies do these things," she added to her statement with the same objectivity.

"Well, maybe the CIA or the KGB. Let me answer you this way: In my opinion, a living Frank Randall is far more interesting and valuable to a secret service than a dead Frank Randall."

"In other words, you guarantee me that the information I give you will not endanger his life."

Groide and Jamie looked at each other again.

"Promise me."

It wasn't a question, it wasn't a request, it was a demand, and the words Claire used to make that demand left none of the men unaware that there was no alternative to this bargain for them.

Groide struck the hand Claire held out to him.

"You have my word, Mrs. Beauchamp. You don't know me yet and you probably mistrust me. That's only natural. But Jamie, Mr. Fraser, can assure you that I'm a man of my word."

Claire looked over at Jamie. He nodded.

"Done."

She reached for the glass of water that Jamie had put in her hand and emptied it in one gulp.

Then she began to talk.

"Microphone" by Florian-Media

"It was in the year 2015, in late November 2015 to be exact."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Beauchamp," Groide objected, "but we ought to do this properly."

He removed from his briefcase a device whose rectangular clunkness was reminiscent of an early mobile phone. After placing it in the center of the table, he inserted two small, round microphones attached to longer cables, one pointing at Claire and one pointing at himself. Groide pressed the record button, then he gave the date, time, place, names of those present and, as the reason for the recording, ‘Statement by Dr. Claire Elisabeth Beauchamp’.

Jamie had to smile. Ferdinand was a friendly person, but he was also a German bureaucrat. Everything had to follow the specific order and everything had to be done 'by the book'. Those Germans. They had rules for everything. They couldn't just have a conversation like that, it had to be a 'statement' and of course it had to be 'recorded'. In this country everything was recorded, either on paper or on tape. And then everything was filed, paginated, numbered and archived. Nothing was lost. They were so damn meticulous, these Germans, but also so damn effective.

"Please begin with your personal life, Mrs. Beauchamp. Name, birthday, place of birth, family, etc."

"My name is Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp. I was born in London on October 20, 1993, the only child of Julia, née Moriston, and Henry Montmorency Beauchamp. My mother was a primary school teacher, my father worked as a statistician for an insurance company. In the winter of 1998 my parents were killed in a car accident. My uncle, Lambert Quentin Beauchamp, was appointed by the authorities as my foster father and guardian. He was my only living relative, my father's only brother. Due to the activities of my uncle, who was an egyptologist and archaeologist, I grew up in England for only a short time, the rest of the time we spend abroad. When I was 16 years old, my uncle returned to England permanently and accepted a professorship at Oxford University. Shortly afterwards I began training as a nurse. Also in Oxford. At the age of 19, I had just completed my education, I met my future husband Franklin Wolverton Randall through my uncle. He also worked in the history department and specialised in Scottish history. At times he worked as an assistant to a professor. We married the following year. My uncle died only a few months later. His health had unfortunately not been the best at the end of his life. When my husband was called to Harvard University's history department, we moved to Boston.

"Oxford" by MarlonRondal

Groide nodded. Jamie was sure that nothing Claire had told him so far was new to his friend. Guaranteed, they had checked Claire from the day he requested the visa for her passport. And they had certainly not been idle since then. At "In Vino Veritas" there was a small but very effective group of staff who had certainly dug up everything they could find about the young woman in the past few days.

"When and how did you learn of your husband's secret activities?"

"It was in the year 2015, in late November of that year to be exact. Does the name Jonathan Pollard mean anything to you?"

Jamie listened with new interest. Groide just nodded.

"Then you know that this man has served thirty years in the United States for espionage. In 2015 he was released on parole and in the American media there was a lot of coverage and discussion for days. I had never heard this man's name before and, to be honest, I didn't care about the whole thing. However, I listened up when my husband spoke about it. It was a Sunday, two days after Pollard was released. I remember the whole thing so well because that day was the day of the terrible accident in that jademine in Myanmar, where 90 people were killed and over 100 people were missing. We had had dinner and then Frank turned on the TV. There was a talk show where the case was discussed. My husband had already started drinking in the afternoon. While Frank was watching the talk show, I thought, ‘My goodness, they're talking about an age-old espionage case and people are dying elsewhere without the media even paying attention.’"

Claire reached for her glass, which Jamie had refilled in the meantime, and took a big sip.

"I didn't pay much attention to the discussion on TV. But then suddenly Frank started mumbling loudly:

'Spy! Spy! Spy! Nonsense! The man was an amateur! What real spy leaves secret documents openly on his desk in the office and his wife was stupid enough to leave a suitcase with secret documents with a neighbour who was in the military himself!’”

Claire reached for her glass again and drank.

"What he said made me furious, so I said to him: 'Oh yes, but you know how a real spy behaves!’ I thought his reaction was terribly arrogant. To my surprise, he then turned down the TV. He came over and sat down with me on the sofa. He looked me in the eyes and grinned. Then he said, ‘Yes, my darling, I know that. The MI5 recruited and trained me while I was still studying at Oxford. Right after they heard I was going to specialise in Scottish history. With my family background and the good connections we had in the military and police through my cousin Jonathan, there were no obstacles.’”

"Books" by MichaelGaida

"How did you react to that?"

"Well, at first I was stumped. I thought he was just showing-off again. So I replied, ‘Why would the MI5 need an expert in Scottish history?’ He replied, ‘Well, of course you can't imagine, you little fool. Good God, Claire! The Scots want independence and just because last year's referendum went so well, they will not give up. It's their history they're drawing strength from! What do you think will happen if they really gain their independence? It could set off a chain reaction. You know that Prime Minister Cameron announced two years ago that he would hold a referendum on Britain's withdrawal from the EU if he was re-elected in 2015? So? He has been re-elected! Now there must be a referendum. And what if Britain's withdrawal from the EU is carried out but Scotland becomes independent and is then admitted to the EU as a member? Did you ever think about that? This is going to get us in big trouble! Then the EU will continue to stand with two legs on our island! We can't let that happen.’”

Claire paused for a moment, then she went on: "I must have looked at him in wonder and disbelief, because suddenly he stormed out of the living room. I heard him looking for something in his study. When he came back he had a newspaper article in his hand which he held in front of my face. ‘Read it,’ he said to me. ‘Our government takes this danger seriously... and so should you!‘ I took the article and read. It was an article in the International Business Times in July 2015. It reported that the Prime Minister had met with the CEOs of a media company. The purpose of the meeting was allegedly to prevent the broadcast of a TV series about the Scottish Rebellion of 1746 before the referendum on Scottish independence. It seems that a request has been made to postpone the broadcast. I later found on his desk a copy of an article from ‘The Scotsman’, which also covered the subject in detail.” Groide and Jamie looked at each other and smiled. Both men nodded, but said nothing.

"Frankly," Claire continued, "I hadn't given the matter any thought at all. In the five years before, I had been mainly busy finishing my medical studies and gaining experience as a doctor. You don't have much time to worry about other things. Besides, due to my, well, somewhat non-conformist upbringing, I was never so much confined to one country alone ..."

"How is it that despite medical school, your husband still refers to you as..." Groide is looking for words, "intellectually... weaker...?” "Frank believes that medical school would consist largely of memorizing the contents of textbooks. He thought that people's bodies were somehow all the same and that if you had learned the appropriate forms of treatment, then you could treat them. He never understood the diversity and complexity of the human body and how medical science reacts to it." "Did your husband explain his duties for the MI5 to you?" "When I told him that Scotland's history, and Scotland's ambitions for independence, were well known, he told me not to think so superficially. He said that historians are not only concerned with the past. They can also make predictions about the future to a certain extent, based on their knowledge. I should think about what the clan system had meant and still means to the Scots. Why did the English central government everything to destroy it after the Jacobite uprising of 1746? England should not allow a united counter-power to be formed again in the north of the country. He was probably particularly concerned about this lobby group, One Banner for all Scots, which had formed the year before."

"Scottish Independence" by Emphyrio Claire was focused on Ferdinand Groide and the recording equipment in front of her. She didn't see Jamie's face become more and more thoughtful.

"Mrs. Beauchamp, all this is interesting, but... not very specific." "At first, I too got to know only general things. It only became more specific later when I did... well, my own... research. "You did your own research?" Groide suddenly seemed interested again. Jamie tried not to smile. What seemed like a minor revelation to his friend only confirmed what he had been thinking all along. Claire was an intelligent, strong woman. Her strength might have been broken for a time by what her husband had done to her. But Jamie was sure that she would find her way back to that strength. And he vowed to himself that he would do everything he could to help her. "I thought Frank was a braggart for a long time, but... I can't describe it exactly. Something had caught my interest. Then a colleague asked me if I would trade a weekly shift with her. She would have had a night shift, but her babysitter was unavailable. I agreed and that same afternoon I went to the university library and borrowed books on Scottish history and the independence movement. The department where I was on night duty was not very labour-intensive. I had a lot of time to read and think during the nights of that week." She paused for a moment. "After that week, I became aware of the urgency of the issue." Groide didn't say anything, but his gaze urged her to continue. "National self-determination. Well, there's no need to explain that further. Scotland's oil. 64% of Europe's oil reserves are on Scottish territory. They're said to be worth 4 trillion pounds. Then there is the issue of renewable energy. I mean Scotland has 25 % of Europe's wind energy potential, 25 % of Europe's tidal energy potential and 10 % of Europe's wave energy potential. I do not have to tell you that these are also enormous financial potentials." A fine smile appeared on Groide's face. "And then, of course, there is the question of nuclear disarmament: with control of defence and foreign policy, an independent Scotland could tackle the elimination of Trident nuclear weapons, an issue long associated with the campaign for an independent Scotland. Trident class submarines carrying missiles with 120 nuclear warheads are based at the Clyde naval base near Glasgow. In the event of Scottish independence, England would have to withdraw these weapons and revise its defence strategy. I imagine that would be a thorn in the side of the American allies as well. There will certainly be a lot of diplomatic pressure behind the scenes." Claire took a deep breath. "Now you're going to tell me that this is all public information and I would agree with you. But I wasn't aware of it before. These informations woke me up. It took a while but when I had the opportunity to take on another week of night shifts I immediately agreed. In this time I developed a kind of plan. I was eager to find out if Frank's statement was true. At first I tried to track when he was going to conferences or work meetings. Not all of them, but several of them took him to England and Scotland. I can't prove it, but I had the impression that his travels became more frequent at times when 'the Scottish theme' was boiling up. Later, after 2015, and particularly after the brexite, his travels intensified.” To Jamie's surprise, Claire reached into her handbag, which she had hung on the back of her chair, and pulled out a piece of paper she handed over to Ferdinand Groide.

"Tea" by Pexels "This is a list of all the trips my husband has taken since 2013. supposedly for reasons of his work as a historian." Groide skimmed the list, then put it aside. "Thank you very much. We will try to verify the data." "In the weeks that followed, I voluntarily took several weeks of night duty. Because there was another advantage to this. I was at home while my husband was at university and could look through his records almost undisturbed."

"Will you share the knowledge you have gained from this?" "Yes. But perhaps we could have some tea?" Claire replied as she looked at Jamie. "Certainly." He got up and left the room. Ferdinand Groide pressed the 'stop' button on the recorder. Then he got up and stretched a bit. Claire did the same.

#14DaysofOutlander #From Boston to Berlin in 14 Hours #Outlander #Outlander fan Fiction #Boston #Berlin #Claire Beauchamp #Jamie Fraser #Frank Randall #Jonathan Randall #Ian Murray #Jenny Murray

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something-tofightfor · 5 years ago

Text

Tipping Point - 15

Pairing: Benjamin Greene x Reader

Word Count: 5032

Rating: M (language, mentions of sex but nothing explicit)

Summary: it’s time for Benjamin and Eric to leave, and after the final night (and the previous three weeks) ... it’s really difficult to say goodbye.

Author’s Note: So. This is the end of Tipping Point. It’s been quite the journey, and I’m so thankful and grateful to those of you that have taken the time to read it as I’ve posted it, and an extra special thank you to those that encouraged me with comments and messages and reassurance that this is in fact accurate for Benjamin. I was really apprehensive to write for Benjamin... but I’m happy with how this ended up going. We started with a shitty anniversary/birthday dinner for Julia... and ended with this, nearly a year later for him. With that being said. This might be the end of Tipping Point, but it’s not the end for them.

“Hello?” Who is she talking to? “No, I’m… wait a minute, what time is it?” His eyes opened and Benjamin watched as you shot up into a sitting position, the blanket pooled around your waist. “Oh, damn.” Your eyes moved down to him, and Benjamin saw that they were wide and full of surprise. “I must have overslept.” His mouth dropped open as he rolled away from you - looking for the alarm clock on your dresser as he realized just how bright it was in the room. Eleven. We definitely didn’t wake up when we planned to. “No, we’ll be ready to go, don’t worry about it, Eric.”

You swore a few seconds later, and Benjamin heard the soft thunk of your phone as it hit the mattress. “You know…” He started, taking a deep breath before he turned his head back toward you, fighting to keep his expression even. “It probably doesn’t count as oversleeping if you only went to bed after the sun came up.” Wordlessly, you stared at him, and Benjamin’s eyes moved from your face down - and then back up, the smile growing. Waking up to this is… “Hey.” Shrugging, he leaned over toward you, one hand rising to the back of your neck to pull you closer. “It’s fine.” He kissed you - not tentatively like he had on other mornings, but deeply, not hesitating before he coaxed your lips apart with his tongue, fingers squeezing gently on your skin. He heard you sigh, the fight leaving you and your hands finding his leg beneath the blanket, and his side, your nails scratching gently down his skin. “Promise.”

“Mmm, Benjamin.” You sighed again as you straightened up, head shaking back and forth. “I just wanted to spend the last morning with you, not sleeping, and now…” You shrugged. “Now they’re on their way, and we’ve barely got time to shower, and -”

“Well, then.” He laughed, using the tips of his fingers to push hair off of your brow. “We should probably get going.” You looked disappointed, and Benjamin moved swiftly, colliding with your body and pushing you backwards, head hitting the pillow as his body pressed against yours. “But first…” Instead of kissing you on the mouth, he moved his lips over your cheeks and down to your neck, feeling your hands roaming over his back as you shifted beneath him. Five more minutes. He slid an arm beneath your shoulders and rolled backwards, pulling you on top of him, and as you settled in, he stared up at you, silently. Even if I had five more days… it wouldn’t be enough.

“You’re staring, Benjamin.” Your voice was quiet, and he saw the look in your eyes change from one of elation to resignation. “What are you looking at?” He traced the line of your spine with one finger, thinking.

“You.” He sighed. “Look, the last couple of days… well, weeks have been…” Benjamin wet his lips, pausing as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I didn’t come here thinking that…” Just say it. “In my wildest dreams, I never thought that we…”

“C’mon Benjamin, spit it out.” You were smiling again, eyes warm as you looked over his face. “We haven’t got all day.” No, we haven’t.

“Come see me.” He closed his eyes. “Not London, me.” You inhaled, eyebrows shooting up. “I don’t know how else to say it.” The room was quiet, and Benjamin waited.

“Are you inviting me to…” You leaned down, lips next to his ear as he nodded. “I’d like that.” He felt relief throughout his entire body, even though if the previous hours had been any indication, there was no way you’d say no to him. “But Benjamin, if I don’t get in the shower now, Eric and Michelle are going to walk in and see…” He turned his head, lips meeting yours again for brief seconds before you pulled away with a groan. “I’ll never hear the end of it, and…” You wrinkled your nose as you backed off, hands flat against his chest. “You smell like me, Benjamin. You need to get in the shower, otherwise Eric’s going to grill you about it the whole flight home.” He’s already likely to do that, but…

“You’re right.” Benjamin closed his eyes for a second. “But…” He opened them again, cocking his head to the side, the pillow rustling beneath it. “One more minute.” You lowered your head toward his to kiss him again without prompting, and though neither of you said it, he could feel that it was goodbye. We won’t do this in front of Eric and Michelle, and so this… this is it. When you pulled away, he saw that your eyes were glistening, but instead of admitting it, you just closed them, taking a breath and sitting up straight. One more look. He stared at you as you climbed out of the bed, striding across the room and to your closet, completely bare.

You emerged from it wrapped in a robe, holding clothes in your arms and then stepped to your dresser, pulling a bra from the top drawer. “I’ll see you downstairs, Benjamin?” He nodded in response, feeling a lump rising in his throat. It shouldn’t feel like this after only a few days. And we aren’t even… He watched you walk from the room without saying anything else, and after he’d collected his thoughts, Benjamin rose from the bed too, glancing around the room as he gathered his clothes. He pulled his underwear back on, folding his jeans over his arm, and then bent down, picking up his shirt from where he’d tossed it when he pulled it from your body the previous night. He inserted one arm and then stopped, considering. What if… Glancing around, Benjamin’s eyes landed on your dresser, the corners of his lips rising in a small smile. I don’t want her to find it right away, but…

He stepped toward it, folding the shirt and then pulling the top drawer open with one hand. He set the shirt down, fingers lingering on it for a few seconds before he pulled his hand back, closing the drawer in one motion with the other hand. She’ll see it tomorrow. Stepping back, Benjamin took one last look around your room, eyes lingering on the bed, and then stepped into the hallway.

---

“Do you have everything?” You were sitting at your kitchen table, chin resting on one hand. “I mean, I know half your stuff was at Michelle’s anyway, but there was some of it in my spare room, and -” Eric cut you off, waving his hand back and forth. “I’m just asking because I don’t want to have to ship a giant box to you in three days like I had to when you moved, Eric.” Benjamin laughed at that and so did Michelle, though Eric stayed quiet.

“Everything’s packed.” He shrugged, looking over at the other woman, who was in the chair to his left. “Michelle asked me the same damn question, it’s like you two are - “

“Wouldn’t start with her, Eric.” Benjamin sipped from his mug, grinning. “Either of them, actually.” Michelle laughed again, thanking him. “Won’t end well for you.” Though Eric laughed too, agreeing and reaching over to squeeze Michelle’s hand, he focused his eyes on Benjamin, who was leaning against your counter, elbows resting on the polished surface.

“Can I ask you guys something?” What? Eric frowned, and Benjamin saw Michelle’s eyes widen. This isn’t going to be good. “We met up with some friends for a drink last night, and…” The kitchen went silent.

“You saw Noah.” Your voice was flat, eyes on your brother. “Didn’t you.”

“We did. But it wasn’t just him, Michelle got ahold of some of the people we went to college with, and …” Eric shrugged. “Noah was there, someone must have mentioned it, and we talked for a few minutes.” He looked at you, and so did Benjamin, waiting. “He said he saw you two on Friday, outside the Lamplighter?” You nodded. “He mentioned that you guys looked… this is his word, not mine, but he said you looked cozy.”

“We were sitting by the fountain and eating ice cream, Eric.” You rolled your eyes. “Benjamin and I went out to dinner, and then since he paid, I offered to buy him ice cream before we came back home.” You looked at Benjamin quickly before your attention went back to your brother. “What else did he say?” She’s avoiding it, but she’s… not lying.

“He said that Benjamin got really defensive, and you did too, and he doesn’t know why.” You laughed bitterly at that, standing and walking to the refrigerator, Benjamin straightening up so that you could pass behind him. He felt your hand brush against his for a second, trying not to react as you grabbed a drink, turning and standing next to him.

“Did he tell you the whole story?” You unscrewed the cap of your drink, taking a long swig. “Or did he -”

“He was there with that woman I told you about.” Benjamin looked over at you, and then continued. “The one that gave me her number? She walked up first and saw me, and we started talking, and then Noah immediately walked up and started laying in to your sister about how it was ridiculous that she was there with me.”

“What a dick.” Michelle broke the silence, a look of disgust on her face. “They were there together?”

“Yes.” Benjamin’s lip curled. “I know he’s your friend, Eric, but I got defensive because he was making assumptions about my intentions with your sister when he was also on a date and acting like a bloody hypocrite.” He felt you stiffen next to him, and realized what he’d said, but continued. “So, yes, I might have been a little on edge, but it was for good reason.” Eric looked between the two of you, but didn’t say anything else immediately. “She did nothing wrong, and I’m not quite sure what he said to you, but I am sure that if he left out Amanda being there, it wasn’t the truth.” The kitchen was quiet again, and Benjamin glanced over at you, finding that you were looking up at him with gratitude in your eyes. I’m only telling the truth.

“So…” Michelle spoke first, raising her cup to her lips and eyeing the two of you over the rim. “A date?” The tension drained from the room, and you took a step closer to Benjamin, his hand moving to your back for a few seconds before you pulled away and walked back toward the table.

“Yeah, a date. That’s what happens when two people go out to dinner, right?” Michelle spluttered, coughing as she swallowed her drink. “But if we don’t leave in the next few minutes, we’re going to hit traffic, and I know you guys might need some extra time for screening since you’re international.” You eyed Benjamin. “I don’t want to risk you missing your flight.” Michelle stood right away, stepping away from the table and walking to where you stood near the doorway. “We’ll be in the other room.” The two of you left the kitchen, leaving Benjamin and Eric alone. This could be interesting.

“So you went on an actual date with my sister.” Eric’s tone was hard to read, but Benjamin caught curiosity in it along with something else. “And you ran into her ex.” He leaned back in his chair, Benjamin standing tall and facing him head on. “What are the odds?”

“I thought the same thing, Eric.” Don’t lie to him. Not about this. “He was pretty awful to her, especially when he had no business saying anything in the first place and -”

“I told you.” Eric stood, meeting Benjamin’s eyes easily. “I would have suggested she not start anything long term with him in the first place.” He chuckled. “But what do I know? I’m just her brother.” Eric took the few steps necessary to reach the opposite side of the counter from where Benjamin stood and stopped, chewing on his lower lip. “It’s good that you were there, Benjamin. And it’s even better that you stood up for her the way it seems like you did.” He shook his head. “Probably meant a lot more to her than she’ll ever tell you.” Actually, she sort of… “But a date, Greene? We’re going to have a lot to talk about on the plane.”

Though he was smiling as he said it, Benjamin watched as Eric turned away with apprehension. Me and my big mouth. He rubbed his hands over his face and then followed the other man out of the kitchen and down the hallway, where his bags were waiting by the door. Time to go.

---

The ride to the airport was much different than the one to your house, and it was due to more than the fact that Eric didn’t sleep the whole way, instead keeping up a steady stream of conversation with Michelle in the back seat. You and Benjamin didn’t speak much, and while he had things he wanted to say to you, he kept quiet. I can’t talk to her in front of them, this isn’t… To his surprise, you reached over after only a few minutes, taking his hand in yours and pulling it into your lap. What is she… When he glanced over at you, he saw that you were trying to hide a smile, your eyes darting from the road to meet his. “Alright then,” he said softly, as he squeezed our fingers. More than alright. Feeling his heart rate rise, Benjamin looked up and into the rearview mirror, seeing that while they hadn’t stopped their conversation, both Michelle and Eric were smiling, their eyes focused on your joined hands. Interesting.

When you parked, the four of you stood behind the car in the lot for a few minutes, making small talk. You’d arrived earlier than expected, and though there wasn’t much time, you had a few minutes to spare. “Can you give us a minute?” Michelle looked between you and Benjamin, an apologetic smile on her face. “Saying goodbye in the airport isn’t really my idea of…” You looked at Benjamin, motioning with your head, and he followed you over to one of the small islands, taking shade beneath a tree.

“She didn’t come with him when I dropped him off at the airport after Christmas.” You gestured to the couple, standing behind your car with their arms wrapped around each other. “She did come when he first left, but…” You rubbed your arm with one hand. “Why is this so hard, Benjamin?” You looked up at him, and he could tell you were trying to hold it together. “It’s not like -”

“Because we care about each other.” He stepped closer, swallowing and extending a hand to you. “Because these last weeks have made a lot of things clear.” Some more clear than others. “Because we don’t know when we’ll see each other again, and after last night -”

“About last night.” You stepped closer to Benjamin, still holding his hand. “And… this morning, I guess.” You bit your lip, reaching up with your free hand to tuck hair behind your ear. “You’re leaving, Benjamin. And you’re going back to London, where you’ll have… a lot of time to think, and a lot of opportunity to meet people, and…” What are you saying? “This isn’t high school, and I’m not an idiot.” Excuse me? “We’re both adults, and I think we both understand how difficult it would be to establish anything with the Atlantic between us, so…” You reached up, meeting his eyes and stroking his beard with one thumb. “I don’t expect anything, Benjamin. You don’t owe me anything at all. But I think you learned a lot about yourself here, and what it feels like to… act for yourself.” You paused, looking away from him. What are you saying? “The difference between … us and Eric and Michelle is that … he left after they’d known each other and dated for over a year on and off. They knew each other, they… they spent time together, and they realized that it’d be worth it to work on, even from different continents.”

“Why are you saying this?” He lowered his head, saying your name. “Trying to make it seem as if I’m going to get on that plane and go back to London and just forget how … how good these last weeks were, how much I enjoyed being here with you.” You looked up at him, and while you weren’t crying, he could see that you were torn about what you were saying. She’s giving me an out. Another one, an opportunity to…

“That’s just it, Benjamin. You’re going to get back on that plane, and I don’t want you to live your life like you’re… waiting on someone else, or that you’ve got to put someone else first again. You did that with Kieran and you did it with Allie and you did it for Julia for two years.” Swallowing, you blinked quickly. “That’s not a group of people I want to be included with.” You’d never be… that’s not… “So I’m telling you, Benjamin Greene, that I didn’t - and don’t plan on using what happened between us as a… as something I’m going to hang over your head or make you feel guilty about.”

“Guilty? What -” He was speechless, thoughts flowing through his head incoherently. I don’t even know what… “You couldn’t possibly make me feel guilty about any part of what’s happened with us.” He pulled you flush against him, wrapping both arms around you. “Getting on that plane and going back won’t change anything.” He kissed the top of your head, closing his eyes. “So don’t do this, don’t cheapen what we… any of it.” He said your name again, waiting until you were looking up at him to continue. “I want you to listen to me.” He watched your breathing change, the way your eyes focused on him. “I don’t expect anything from this either, but I’m… I’m open to seeing where it goes.” He had both hands on your back, your arms locked around his waist. “Seeing what it means, what… what we…” What it could be. He couldn’t get the words out, instead hoping that the way he was holding you got the point across. “If I could stay here longer right now, I would. But I was serious, I want you to come see me.”

“I will, Benjamin, I -” He cut you off, trying to lighten the mood.

“Say you’re visiting Eric, say you want to see London in the fall, or in the winter or… I don’t know. You’ll figure something out, but there’s no way around it. I’m inviting you out to spend time with me.” You rose onto your toes, kissing his mouth quickly. It’s not enough, it’s not goodbye, it…

“You say that now, but we’ll see how you feel after you’ve had some time to think about the American that stuffed you full of ballpark food and made you walk the whole day in boots and rain and -” He kissed you then, and though it was another short one, the held you tighter than he’d ever held anyone, trying to pour every bit of emotion he could into the action. Please understand.

“Just wait until I get you to a football game and have you try the pies.” He murmured the words into your ear, pressing his lips to your skin. “Payback for all of those -”

“Hey, you two!” Startled, you both looked toward the sound of Michelle’s voice. “We’ve gotta go, it’s getting close and we need to get into the trunk.” He felt you slump against him for a few seconds, and then you pulled away, turning and taking a few steps back to your car. Benjamin collected himself and then followed you, wondering how much Eric and Michelle had seen. Probably too much, but there’s no helping that now. By the time he caught up with you, you’d already popped your trunk, pulling out the bags and suitcases within.

“Are you coming in with us?” Eric questioned you, one hand on the handle of his rolling suitcase. “You know how crowded it usually is, and -”

“Yes.” You looked at your brother in surprise. “I don’t know when I’ll see you next, and I barely saw you on this trip, so I’m going to annoy you until you get in that security line.” He laughed, rolling his eyes at you.

“You kept yourself busy.” He was nonchalant with his words, but Benjamin caught the look the other man gave him. “You didn’t even miss me.” Assuring him that that was untrue, you closed the trunk and then locked your car, the four of you walking across the parking lot and beneath the covered walkway that led to the terminal. It was crowded, Eric and Michelle walking ahead of you and Benjamin, and he took the opportunity to put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as you made your way into the low building. And I thought Heathrow was a mess.

There were people everywhere, Benjamin’s eyes moving over the crowds. “Let’s go print our tickets and get our bags checked, Greene.” Eric pointed. “Then we can come say goodbye.”

“Alright.” He slid his carry on from his shoulder and handed it to you, unzipping it to pull his passport and wallet from inside. “Be right back.” The process was much faster than he’d anticipated; his ticket and claim slip printing within only a few seconds, he and Eric making their way through most of the line in less than ten minutes. Eric hadn’t mentioned you to him, instead asking questions about downtown, about Benjamin’s trip. He’s avoiding it, but… “Eric, we -”

“No.” The man rubbed at his face. “No, we’ll talk about this later, Benjamin. Not here, in line or before we go through security.” Eric grinned at him. “I think it’s going to be a conversation that takes more than a few minutes.” You’re right.

When it was his turn, Benjamin handed over his passport and ticket - along with his suitcase - to the friendly woman behind the counter, making small talk. Eric finished before him, heading back to where you and Michelle waited, and after his bag was safely checked in, Benjamin turned away and took a breath, quickly making his way back to the three of you. This is… we’ve only got a few minutes left. You were talking with your brother, a large smile on your face, and Benjamin stood next to Michelle, watching. “It was good to meet you, Benjamin.” The woman squeezed his arm. “Eric told me about you, but I’ve got to admit, you’re not what I expected.” Really? “I think you’re one of the reasons he and I…” She shrugged, Benjamin’s eyes on her face. “It sucks to say it, but what you went through, I think it made him…” Good. I’m glad it helped someone. “So thank you.” She turned, holding her arms out and Benjamin stepped into them, returning the embrace. “And I’ll see you at Christmas, unless you’ve already moved out.”

“I’m not sure where I’ll be, but either way I’ll see you in December.” And I’ll be happy to. He started to say something else, but Michelle cut him off with a push. “Go. Say goodbye. I’ll stall Eric for a minute.” You’re a Godsend, Michelle. He switched places with Eric, stepping in front of you again, and as he did, the finality of the situation hit him. It’s over. We just got here, and now… “Hi.” He spoke quietly, not trusting his voice. “I don’t really… I’m shite at goodbyes, so…” Benjamin reached up, scratching the back of his neck. “This trip was…”

“I know.” Your eyes moved over his face, lingering on his cheek, but you were smiling. “I know, Benjamin.” Kiss her. Kiss her goodbye. Kiss her and tell her you already m- “Thank you.” He tilted his head to the side, waiting, and you reached over, taking his hand in yours, fingers sliding against each other and interlocking. “Thank you for making it clear that… what I was doing before wasn’t right. That there’s … that I deserve to…” He heard the trembling of your voice, and instead of letting you flounder further, he pulled you against him, hugging you tightly. No, thank you. “I’m gonna miss you, Benjamin.” You were looking up at him, the smile on your lips doing nothing to hide the sadness in your eyes. “So much.” It was a tease being here, a tease for such a short time, and now… “You have to go, though. You’re cutting it close, and …” You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’ll see you soon.”

“You will.” He debated for a moment and then ducked his head down, kissing you quickly on the mouth. It’s too short, I just want to… “Soon.” He felt you smile against his lips and then Benjamin pulled away from you, squeezing your hand once more before he pulled it free, taking a step back. “Alright, I… you’re right. I have to go.” Glancing over at Eric and Michelle, Benjamin saw that they weren’t paying attention, the two of them wrapped up in each other again, the man’s forehead pressed to hers. Maybe it’s for the best that they didn’t see that. You cleared your throat, and Benjamin glanced back, seeing that you were staring at the ground, arms crossed over your chest. I know.

“We should go, Benjamin.” Eric was next to him, and Benjamin nodded, though he felt his heart sink. It’s really over. You were standing next to Michelle, and with a final deep breath, Benjamin fell into step with Eric, heading to the end of the security line. “It’s hard, right? Saying goodbye to…” But Eric’s voice faded with each step Benjamin took, his brow furrowed as he thought. No. No, you know what? He thought of you, telling him he needed to follow his own advice, of Eric telling him to practice what he was preaching, of Leo telling him how happy he looked in pictures. Don’t leave like this. Benjamin stopped, feeling Eric do the same next to him, and turned back toward where you and Michelle stood, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

“Oy, Michelle.” Louder than usual, his voice carried through the crowd, the woman’s eyes - and yours - moving to his face. He looked at Michelle for a long moment before switching his gaze to you. This is right. “Take care of my girl while I’m gone, yeah?” There was silence for a few seconds, and then Benjamin heard Eric swear quietly next to him before a hand landed on his back, pushing him forward. Your eyes widened and you parted your lips, staring at him, and as Benjamin took one step toward you, he saw Michelle’s grin grow as you shook your head back and forth in disbelief, moving toward him. Yes.

You didn’t stop, even as you collided with his chest, hands gripping the front of his shirt. “Benjamin, what, you…” Not bothering to speak, he pressed his forehead against yours, head angled down. “Did you just…”

“Yeah, I did.” He swallowed, the gravity of his words finally hitting him. “And I meant it.” I’ve no idea if she even… “Is that alright with you?” You didn’t speak, instead tilting your head back, meeting his eyes. “I -”

“Shut up, Benjamin.” You were smiling, and he saw that your lower lip was trembling. “Just shut up.” He kissed you then, not caring who saw - Eric or Michelle or any of the strangers that were milling around you, and you kissed him back without hesitation, your grip on him tightening. You pulled back with a gasp, reaching up to brush your fingertips over his cheek, the smile never disappearing from your lips. “Your girl, hmm?” He nodded, feeling himself smile, too. Yeah. “I like that.”

“I do, too.” He kissed you again, the action much more reserved but no less meaningful. “I’ll call you when I land?” You hugged him one final time, agreeing, and as Benjamin finally pulled himself from your arms, he sucked in a breath. “Hey.” He winked at you, dropping his voice. “Check in your top drawer, I left you something.” I don’t want her to wait until morning. You looked surprised but told him you would. With a final squeeze of your fingers, he let go of your hand, glancing back at Michelle, and then meeting your eyes for the last time. “I’ll see you soon.”

Benjamin turned and headed back toward Eric, the adrenaline from his outburst fading quickly. Was that stupid? Is he going to… we have to sit next to each other for… “Damn, Benjamin.” Eric finally spoke as they took their places in line, people filling in behind them. Uh oh. “You realize that you just destroyed any possible airport interaction I’ll ever have with Michelle, right?” He’s not mad? He looked over at Eric, finding his roommate shaking his head back and forth slowly. “Good for you. Good for her. You two deserve it.” We do. Especially after… As they moved through the line, Benjamin waited until he was facing the direction he’d come from to search for you, eyes scanning the crowd. I bet they left, there’s no reason for them to… But he found you easily, meeting your eyes. You were smiling broadly, and though he felt a tiny hollow in his chest at the thought that he wouldn’t get to see you again for months, he realized that for the first time in years, he wasn’t worried about how things would turn out. What a feeling.

By the time he and Eric made it through the security checkpoint and Benjamin was seated on a bench to pull his shoes back on, he was deep in thought. Alright, so when she comes to London…

---

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