#i told him it hadn't been updated and to pull over the list of changes into that task (which he should have already done)

[seekingthestars]

we're doing these workshop things to try to address some of the equity/workflow/workload problems in our department and our facilitator wants everyone to email her "the problem [we'd] like to solve in [our] large team" and how do i politely say i just want people to do their fucking jobs

[ellaa-writes]

Good Dog

author note: Part 3 yay!! Series list found here. I actually edited this one, I know! Probably still mistakes lol, I love writing this type of Simon but mean Simon is still my favourite. Reader and Simon parts are going on at different times, weeks apart, just in case of any confusion of time line. Enjoy!

summary: His favourite words include; down boy, good dog, heel, fetch and his most favourite, get 'em. Well trained, and listens good. Loyal through and through. Always striving to be the absolute best. Ready to attack at all times, always on guard. Loves discipline, either giving or receiving. Working for a criminal mastermind, lurking in the shadows. You both trying not to be seen or noticed but after one unlucky night, all you both can see are the ghosts. He invades your life, if you both like it or not.

tags: Alternative Universe. Female reader. A/B/O dynamics. Alpha Simon, Beta Reader, Bad Scottish lingo (I tried). Very tame and a chapter filler.

You hadn't seen Simon in a few weeks, must have gotten bored you thought, eventually everyone leaves so why wouldn't he. Things felt different with him, like timed slowed down and life finally had a meaning.

You stopped in front of a news stand, big bold letters. OMEGA POPLUATION HITS AN ALL TIME LOW; leading scientists may have found a solution. You snatched the paper and handed the worker $5 telling him to keep the rest as you rushed back home paper in hand. The title wasn't what caught your attention, it was a few paragraphs down the words doctor and experimental procedure. Tossing your belongings on the dining table soon as you entered your grungy apartment.

Reading the article fully, then once more. Doctors have developed a experimental drug that could alter a Beta women's chemistry. Tricking the body into thinking its an Omega, a few experiments have been conducted and results have so far been proven successful. But they are searching for more Beta women to submit themselves into the program.

Those words playing over and over in your head, becoming an Omega, and having a loyal and supportive Alpha. Not having to worry about all the small things, not having to work and struggle to make ends meet. You could leave your pathetic life behind.

All Simon did was follow orders, being the good dog, he is. A successful mission out of the way, the Boss left before he did. Having to hurry back cause of his Omega. Simon used to have dreams about settling down, but that was before he became ghost. Stupid child aspirations, but mostly because he felt like he didn't deserve one. And who would want him as an Alpha, all teeth, and hard edges. It would be a punishment to be stuck with him until death, and death would be the reward.

You jotted the number down on a piece of paper and stuck it to your fridge. You didn't have to decide now, but you were tempted to.

Dealing with Makarov was easier than expected most of these men act tough on the outside but soon as you start pulling out their insides, they change their tune. He wasn't in too much of a hurry to get home, it's been two weeks since he last saw her, he's been keeping his distance, not wanting to poison her cause that's what he was poison.

It was very late into the night when he finally arrived in the city, driving down the desolate neighborhoods till he found himself parked in front of his apartment. Not the one across from hers but the one he bought himself soon as he had enough money too. The only thing that remained from his previous life. Cutting the engine and walking inside.

He still had a landline, hard wired into the wall next to the thermostat. He's never used it and has never had anyone call it. Not like many people have the number anyways, emergency he told himself when he bought and installed it all those years ago. Having the number updated in his file, but now it hangs there mockingly. Much to his surprise when he walked into his quiet home, a little red dot glowing from the device.

He ignored it at first, taking his clothes off to take a quick shower. To wash away the memories that still plague him, the water never being hot enough. He stood there in nothing but a towel around his waist. Staring at that glowing red light, missed call.

He should just delete it, but he decided to play the message. A voice came through the small speaker, one that he thought he'd never hear again. John Price.

"Oi Simon, it's John. Ain't sure if this dog and bone's still on the go. Tried your mobile, but it's saying it's disconnected. Anyways, thought I'd drop you a bell 'cause we're gonna be in the city for a bit. Fancy a chinwag, like the old days, yeah? So, give me a call, same digits as ever. It'd be proper nice to catch up, Simon."

It was silent for a while afterwards, only Simon's heaving breathing filling up the space. Not once did they call him while he was locked up doing time, not once did they reach out and say they cared. They were family once, at least he thought they were. Stupid.

All the rage simmering up inside of him finally boiled over the edge. Simon grabbed the stupid phone and slammed it into the wall as hard as he could, again and again until there was nothing left but broken pieces of plastic, wiring and now a hole in his wall.

It only took you three hours of pacing back and forth in your tiny apartment, the small piece of paper stuck to your fridge door taunting you. As the line rang you debated on hang up, forgetting any of this happened but it was to late. The reception answered your call, redirecting you to the head of the project. Giving a little info over the phone they scheduled you in for the same day if you could make it. It was on the other side of town, the side you hardly went to cause there was no need. Unless you wanted to make yourself feel even more shitty about your life.

He debated if he should call, be the bigger person the little voice in his head called out. They had their reasoning for abandoning him, for treating him like the plague, they had to, right?

You were on the bus, watching as the fading sun descended and the moon turned brighter. The glow of city coming to life, some many people out and about. You barely had enough money to and back, getting off at the stop further away. Walking the rest to save a bit of cash and take in the scenery. The air was crisp, it never got too cold during the winter season. Also, long as the wind stayed away it was a mild year so far.

To say this was awkward was an understatement. Simon sat across from the beta Scottsman, not much has changed he thought. The group of men still joking around like nothing happened like good ol' times, they kept trying to get him in on it. Simon soon realised that this was a mistake, all of it. Calling Price and picking out this bar. They weren't his pack anymore, they ditched him soon as things went south.

Simon's grip on his glass of bourbon tightened when Johnny yelled "Right Lt." the group getting quiet afterwards, Johnny knew he fucked up. Simon got up abruptly, taking a big gulp of the burning liquid amber, polishing off his drink before slamming it back down.

"Goin’ for a smoke." as he grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. Marching towards the front door. He could hear Kyle's faint call of his name, the beta man always playing mediator, Price holding Johnny back like an Alpha would a misbehaving puppy as Simon made his way outside.

"Bunch of fuckin' pricks." it was a whisper to himself, digging out his pack of smokes and shoving one into his mouth. Lighting it with ease as he sucked in a big lung full. The door to the bar opened and closed, fully expecting to smell the cigar-soaked Alpha but instead it was Johnny tail between his legs.

"I ken ye dinnae wanna gab about it." he tried but Simon cut him right off. "I don't." blowing a huge cloud in the betas face. "Weel, someone's gotta." he just wanted some fucking peace and quiet. "The start talkin’ or shut the fuck up." dropping his finished cigarette to the ground, giving it a good stomp before putting another to his lips.

"Things have changed, ye've changed. Ah ken everything's aw fucked up right now. We tried-" Simon huffed out a stiff laugh, not believing a thing the Scott was saying. He could see his lips still moving but he couldn’t hear what he was saying as a familiar scent caught his nose.

Before Simon could think a small body collided with Soaps as he stepped out towards the curb with a hand to the back of his neck. "Ah, fuck, sorry ‘bout that, lass." Simon watched in slow motion as you got knocked off balance. Johnny reaching out to help the poor thing but before, he could feel the growl coming from his chest and throat. Pushing the Beta to the side as he took a hold of you, bring you to his chest.

He could hear your lower whimper, there was something different about you. Your scent was sweeter, it was pulling him in like a bee to a flower. "Simon?" letting out in a shaky breath. "What are you doing here?" you looked up into his eyes. Your hands resting against his chest, the hard muscle underneath flexing, a low rumble coming from within. You’ve never seen him like this, so casual but also feral, eyes blown and panting.

"Am I interrupting ye in the midst of somethin'?" Johnny didn't know what the hell was going on. Looking at the Omega flushed against the old Alpha, he was just happy that after everything that happened it was nice to see his old lieutenant finally settling down with such a sweet thing. Simon finally broke his gaze from you, settling it on the Beta. “It was a nice chat, gotta go.”

"Come, I'll drive you home." he stated, gripping your upper arm as he moved you towards his car. The more you stood outside surround by people the more Simon got irritated. He couldn't put his finger on it, the changes within you. He'd been away from a couple of weeks; it was hard staying away but he had a responsibility and a job to do. "I can take the bus." you tried moving around Simon, spotting the other man who was now gawking. "Like hell." Simon held onto you firm, walking you to his car.

"See you around." the Scott yelled from somewhere behind. He couldn't wait to tell the other two men of what he witnessed. The grumpy old Alpha had found himself a sweet Omega.

The drive home was in silence, not even the radio to help ease the awkward tension building up in the car. When Simon pulled onto your street you gathered your belongings. "Wait." you snapped your head to the driver's side.

"What were you doing out so late?" he was trying to interrogate you "I had an appointment." you held your hands in your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. "Hmm" Simon grunted out, the whole way back to your apartment he had to stop himself from pulling the car over and pouncing on you.

Something wasn't right and he didn't like it or maybe he did. It confused him nonetheless and he wanted answers.

"You want to come up?" you don't know why you asked, why those words spilled out of your mouth. Simon was surprised too, cocking his head to side. "Sure." he cut the engine.

Once inside your apartment you didn't bother asking him if he wanted anything to drink. Unless he's into expired milk or tap water. The hulking man walked around your small place, picking things up and putting them down. Take in his surroundings, he already didn’t like you living in this area. He’s scoped out your apartment, the front door was a piece of shit, with a little bit of a jiggle and it popped open.

Walking towards your dingy couch he noticed the paper on the table, picking it up he scanned the words. You didn't.... His eyes found your form, busying yourself around your small kitchen. Shoving dirty dished into the sink to be forgotten about till later. Simon sniffed the air again, there was that familiar scent again. The smell of an Omega, the similar one that clung to his Boss, that filled every space of his home.

Omega.

He felt is heart quicken, his blood run thin. He's only had this feeling a few times, he was going to throw up and pass out at the same time. You noticed his completion pale, worrying you, grabbing a glass and filling it with your last bottle of water. Rushing to his side and calling his name.

Simon was so far away; he was in the middle of the raging ocean. The waves crashing over him, pulling him deeper under every unforgiving wave. Lungs full of burning salt water, gasping with arms stretched to the sky.

You could do the only thing you could think of you climbed into his lap. Curling yourself around him, rubbing your scent glad over his nose and mouth.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 60

Snippet 5 - The Lesson I Part 59

Series Masterlist

Contains: Fluff, smut (fingering, P in V), angst (discussions of The Red Pill, misogyny, tiny mentions of past sexual harassment, PTSD and combat) more fluff.

8.6K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

"Come on, you should go." Sam had that tone where he was trying to be encouraging.

You huffed, "ew no, I don't want to go back to that hellhole, it's high school, what does going do back for me?"

Sam smiled, "you get to show them that you're so much better than them. You work at the best lab in the country because you made it that way, you've been on the New York Times Best Sellers list more than once, and you a getting married to a man that women drool over. Go and show off, rub your wonderful life in their faces."

You shook your head, "then they'll act like they were always my friend and they liked me and treated me great because they think I'm rich, I don't want to deal with that."

Sam shook his head, "I'm sure Jax is getting his reunion letter, are you going to tell him to go?" You were grateful that Jax had been at the cabin training all night and hadn't come home yet.

You rolled your eyes, "yes but that's different and you know it, he's an important member of our town, going is a tactical decision. If we're lucky, they'll be on the same night."

Sam gave you a look, "put some thought into it, I think you'll have fun."

Jax got home just as you were leaving for work, the left side of his face bruised and swollen. You walked up to him and took his face in your hands, "what happened my love?"

He smiled and pressed his lips to yours, "nothing, it was all in good fun. I should have been paying attention," his forehead fell on yours, "we've got another two weeks, I'm sure I'll be more battered and bruised by the end."

You giggled, "yeah, but I've been getting the updates and you're doing very well."

Jax smirked, "really darlin, you wanna tell me more."

You sighed, "all the reshuffling to your program to more advanced classes wasn't enough of a clue? You're excelling and everyone is very impressed. Now don't be arrogant."

Jax's hand found your cheek as he kissed you, your lips following his as he pulled away, "I'm going to head inside, I'll try and come by the for lunch but I think I'll be busy at T-M."

You pecked him, "it's no big deal, we can go back to normal once the course is done. But I'll see you tonight."

Jax smiled, "I can't wait." His tone let you know what he was thinking.

****

The look on Hale's face when he walked into the office told you everything you needed to know, "what?"

He swallowed, "there's been a car accident, we need you to ID the body."

You blinked, "ok, why the upset, it's nothing new?"

He shook his head, "the body belongs to a three year old girl, the father was high."

You nodded, "I'm fine, really. I'll ride with you, I don't think it will take me long, I should be able to do the ID before the body gets to my table."

Hale sighed, "alright, I'll be waiting in the car."

****

"We're you at the crash today?" Gemma's tone was neutral.

You nodded, "I was, I'm sure the news made it seem worse than it was. I see road accidents on a weekly basis. Dead kids are nothing new to me."

She blinked, "I just don't want this pulling up old shit between us."

You huffed, "if I got upset at you again every time a child died due to a lapse in judgment from their guardian, I would never talk to you again. You're getting better and you're not going to do it again, so unless there's some reason I need to be worried, I've let it go."

"Jax is...." She couldn't find the words.

"If you're worried about Jax or how he feels about you, then you need to ask him. Now I'd like to put dinner together so everyone can eat, there's no reason for you to keep worrying."

****

"Hey Hap, you coming over for dinner?"

He nodded and stepped inside, kicking off his shoes after following Jax and Sam, "yep, mum and my aunt are away and I was getting sick of ordering take out."

You smiled, "well there's always enough food for guests."

Jax smiled and pressed his lips to your cheek, "where's Abel?"

You sighed, "looks like he's getting the flu, I have him some children's cold and flu and put him to bed. I'm going to wake him up before dinner. Gemma and Nero are in the lounge room, we were just working out Diosa's grand opening."

Jax nodded, "how's that going?"

You smiled softly, "good, we should be able to open next week."

Jax's smile widened, "you can really do it all, I love you."

You shook your head, "I love you too. Also, we're finally ready to knock down the wall for the baby's room. The builders will be here tomorrow and it will only take them two days to get it done. After that it's down to us."

Happy was standing there with a strange look on his face, "you need any help?"

You smiled, "that would be great, thank you."

He smiled, "babies are great."

Sam only stayed long enough to say hello before going off and find Ima, he returned with her in tow and a smile on his face, "what is it now, little brother?"

He shook his head, "nothing, I'm just really happy."

You sighed, "I can see that, it's very cute."

Sam rolled his eyes, "pot meet kettle."

It was your turn to roll your eyes while Jax grinned, "yeah, laugh it up Teller."

****

"You feeling better sweetie?"

Abel rubbed his face, "not really." He was still melding sounds together, it would be cute if he didn't sound sad.

"Do you feel like eating?" Unlike Jax, you weren't all that worried.

"Yes mummy, I'm hungry." You saw Jax relax.

"Are you sure that day care is as good as you say it is?" There was no accusation in Gemma's tone but Jax still glanced at her with suspicion.

You sighed, "kids get sick all the time, they let me know he was feeling unwell, and he could have gotten it anywhere. He's had all his shots, there's no reason to worry about a little cold. If I think there's a reason to worry, I'll take him to the doctor."

Nero changed the subject and turned towards Jax before pointing at you and Ima, "these two are great party planners, we got all we need and all in a few hours."

Jax grinned, "I'm just glad it's all ready to go. It's been a long time coming."

Ima nodded along then took a bite of her food and groaned, "oh my God, this is so good."

Sam smiled and reached over, placing a hand on her leg, "it's just meat and rice."

She nodded through another bite, "but the unending nausea is finally gone, I can enjoy life again."

Sam pressed his lips to her cheek, "only twenty six weeks to go. The books say you'll be able to feel the fetus kicking soon then a month after that I will. I just can't wait to meet our little one." He sounded so happy as his hand moved from her leg to her belly.

Ima rolled her eyes and placed her hand over his, "you say that now but where he or she is screaming and you're covered in baby sick, you might change your mind."

Sam huffed, "nope, every second of wasted sleep will be worth it."

You shared a look with Jax but before you could say anything, Abel spoke, "why is the baby inside auntie Ima?"

You blinked, thinking fast, "because the baby is too small to be out here."

Abel seemed to take that and Jax started chuckling, "nice bullet dodge darlin."

You glared at him, "you're dealing with the next question my love." You turned to Happy who was bust enjoying his meal, "how are you and Eva going?"

He smiled, "she's teaching me how to bottle feed kittens, I really like her."

You smiled back, "that's great Hap and for what it's worth. I think she likes you too."

He tapped his fork on the plate, "I'm think about asking her if she wants my crow." Everyone was smiling now, "I know it's a bit soon and I haven't brought her around yet but she makes me happy and my mum and aunt love her."

It was Nero's turn to meddle, "why don't you bring her to the grand opening. She's a dominatrix in her spare time isn't she, so it's not like she's going to be grossed out."

Happy's smile widened, "sure, that's a great idea. How's the wedding planning going?"

You sighed, "it's going, we're still working out the seating for the people who we know are coming. It's a lot of work."

Happy thought for a moment, "don't sit Juice near any of your guys, we'll lose him forever."

You giggled, "that's what I said. We still have a lot of work ahead of us but we're getting there."

Hap nodded, "what about your dress?"

You smiled, "it's getting there, and no, I will not tell you anything about it."

Jax smirked, "does it have pockets?"

You rolled your eyes, "I said nothing, you will know nothing."

He huffed, "not even a hint?"

You shook your head, "nope."

****

You climbed into bed, Jax opening his arms so he could wrap them around you, Abel was in bed fast asleep, Sam and Ima were in his side of the house watching TV, Gemma and Nero had gone home and Happy was in the guestroom for the night, which meant you and Jax had time to yourselves.

"So, I have my high school reunion in a month. Sam says I should go but I don't know, I don't really want to deal with all the assholes I used to know."

Jax sucked on his tongue, "I ran into a woman I used to know from school. Mine's next week and she invited me in person." 

You raised your eyebrows, "is she and old friend of yours?" 

Jax huffed, "she was a mean girl so no. Not that she didn't try. I told her I'd only come if my fiancee did." 

You smiled, "well then, you better RSVP because we're going. I've been there to teach enough so all your old teachers love me, I might even get a key to admin to look at all your old school records."

Jax sighed, "I knew you'd say that. Let me guess, as a pillar of the community and to make the Club look good, I have to go. Also, I know they love you, when I run into them around town, you're all they talk about. You're such a teacher's pet"

You nodded and leaned in close, "yep, you got it." 

Jax closed the gap and kissed you, "if I go to mine you've got to go to yours." 

You rolled your eyes, "fine. When it is?" 

He smiled, "Friday, it won't clash with Diosa?" 

You shook your head, "nah, we'll either have it this Saturday or Saturday next week. It will be an all day thing so they can show off not only how many women are available but that since it's a reputable business, there are daytime dates on offer too." 

Jax placed his hand on your cheek and bumped your nose with his, "you are so smart, is there anything you can't do?" 

You giggled, "lift really heavy stuff and reach the top shelf without a stepstool." 

Jax pressed his lips to yours, pulling back and smiling softly, "you've got me to do that for you." You rolled on top of him and he placed both his hands on your back as he kissed you. You deepened the kiss and Jax moved his hand from your back to your face, cupping your cheek and pushing up your sleep shirt with the other hand. 

You pulled back, sitting on your knees and pulling your shirt over your head while Jax's eyes raked over your body. He sat up and pressed his lips to your neck, his beard scratching your skin as his teeth found your flesh. You wove your hands into his hair and he groaned as you tugged softly. 

You gripped his singlet and Jax pulled back while you pulled it over his head, you sighed as you looked over his bruised chest, the mottled colours evidence of his time at Anvil, "I'm sorry my love, they look like they hurt." 

He smiled and shook his head, "nope, not even a little bit." He brushed his hand over your cheek and you turned your head to kiss his palm before grinding your core on his radially hardening cock. 

You popped up on your knees and yanked his grey sweatpants down, sighing as you caught sight of his naked skin, "you going commando in these pants is cruel, how do you expect me to do anything when you look so good in them." 

Jax chuckled and kissed you again, his calloused thumb grazing your bottom lip, "I know, you're always ogling." 

You giggled and Jax ran his hand from your cheek to your breast, stroking your nipple with the side of his finger softly while his eyes went from your face to your breasts and back again. His other hand slid down your body and pulled your panties off and then you sat down, rubbing yourself on his hard cock while he moaned, his teeth sinking into his lips as you started to rock your hips. 

His hands found your hips and his thumbs rubbed your skin, a smirk coming over his face as he flipped you over and got on top of you. You snorted and Jax chuckled, "God, you are such a control freak. I'm starting to think I'm not any good." 

Jax's lips were soft when they found yours, "nah darlin, I've just noticed the look in your eyes when I manhandle you." He kissed you, then trailed his lips down your body. You sighed as his lips wrapped around your nipple, one of his hands coming to stroke the other one before swapping over. 

"What do you want tonight darlin, my mouth or my fingers?" There was that question again, that infuriating question that Jax loved to ask. 

You brushed your fingers over his beard, "well my love, what do you want? You're the one doing it." 

He pressed his lips together with a soft huff, "you're being difficult." 

You shook your head, "I'd argue that asking me to decide between your beautiful lips and your perfect fingers is crueler." 

Jax bit his lip, "so you want me to chose?" 

You nodded, "yes please." 

He kissed you, "fingers it is then, as much as I love it when you wrap your legs around my head, I love watching your face while you cum more." 

You blinked, "you are very forward Mr Teller. I'm a lady and you are being inappropriate." 

The smirk on his face reminded you of an old movie star, "alright then. I can treat you like a lady if you like." He leaned down and kissed you, it was filled with passion and affection and one of his hands wrapped around your body to pull you closer to him. 

His lips never left yours as he slid his hand down your body, he gripped your upper thigh and spread your legs before running his hand from where he was holding you to your core. His lips left yours and he looked into your eyes as he ran his fingers through your slit. He caught your moan in a kiss as he slid two of his long thick fingers inside you, his palm rocking against your clit as he pressed his fingertips to your G-spot. 

Jax brushed your nose with his, and then pushed himself up on his free hand to look over your body while he brought you closer to the edge. "I love you like this, all soft and pliant for me." His lips found your cheek and you tilted your head to the side so he could kiss your neck. He sucked marks into your skin as you started to twitch around his fingers and Jax smiled against your skin before pulling back and casting his eyes on your face. 

"Come on darlin, be a good girl and cum for me." His fingers sped up and fell over the edge, Jax pulling you into a barely there kiss as he worked you through it. You sighed as he pulled his fingers away, the sigh turning into a moan as he licked you off them. He kissed you again and slotted himself between your legs before lifting your legs over his hips, "do you want to keep going darlin?" 

You nodded, "of course I do." 

Jax chuckled softly, "just making sure." 

You shook your head and reached up, taking his face in your hands, "my sweet, noble Jackson. I love you so much." 

Jax smiled softly and slid inside you, gasping as he bottomed out and pressing his lips to yours as he paused to let you adjust to his ample size. Your thumb stroked his cheek as his hips started to rock. Jax was holding himself up on his forearms, his body as close to yours as he could get. Jax pressed his forehead to yours as you shared air. He shifted his weight onto one arm and moved his hand down your body to rub your clit as his hips picked up speed. 

You moaned as he brushed your G-spot, wrapping your arms around his body as he grunted in your ear, Jax seemly affected just as much as you. He nipped your ear and then kissed his way to your mouth as you placed your hand on his cheek. 

Jax brushed your G-spot again and a moan caught in your throat as you breathed out; then you got a funny feeling in your chest, hiccup. Jax lifted his lips from yours, and it happened again, your chest jumping with the movement. You did your best not to laugh but it was impossible and Jax's laughter made it even worse. 

He pulled his hand away from your body to squeeze your hip affectionately as you tried to get yourself under control, "Jackson hiccup it's not funny hiccup." 

That only worsened it as Jax's whole body shook, "oh darlin." That was all he could get out as the laughter took over. He was still rock hard inside you, but it wasn't at the forefront of your mind between the laughing and the hiccups. 

"Jax, hiccup help me." He kissed you again, the giggles making it hard to keep your lips together but the slow rocking of his hips was the real distraction. The laughing calmed down, and hiccups faded, Jax sighing as you relaxed. 

"I'm sorry darlin."

You shook your head, "you're mean to me." 

Jax gave you a look as his hips returned to his earlier pace, and his hand moved back to your clit, "am I?" His lips found yours before you could answer.

You buried your head in his neck and he picked up the pace while the fingers on your clit picked up speed. He grunted as you tightened around him, "come on, be a good girl and cum for me." 

Jax had that cocky tone to his voice and you bit him in retaliation. Jax groaned, his hips stuttering, "come on y/n, let go for me." It was the gravel in his voice and the way he pressed his chest to yours that sent you over the edge. Jax must have been there himself because he was following you seconds later, grunting into your ear like a dying animal as he worked you through the twitching. 

He sighed and rested his forehead on yours, smiling softly as he kissed you. You reached your hand up and stroked his face giving a little giggle as Jax rolled off you and pulled you into his arms. "You good darlin?" 

You nodded, "I'm great. I'm a little worried that I've Pavloved you and every time I get the hiccups, you're going to get hard." 

Jax chuckled and lifted his hand to place it on your face, "sorry darlin, but your time was impeccable." 

You sighed and nuzzled into his chest, "it's alright, tonight was fun. I like the sound of your laugh." 

Jax pressed his lips to yours, "you're right, tonight was fun. Maybe we can have a repeat in twenty minutes?" 

You shook your head, "I have that podcast tomorrow for my new book. As much as I would like to spend the whole night having fun, I need sleep so I can go at this guy with all I've got." 

Jax pressed his lips to your forehead, "no need to explain darlin, we're all at T-M tomorrow so we'll be listening in." 

You smiled softly, "maybe that's not such a good idea, this guy's an asshole." 

Jax chuckled, "you can handle it," he tapped your leg, "you better get ready for bed, I gotta have you well rested before you go off and kick ass." 

You pushed yourself up on your hands before leaning over and pecking Jax's cheek, "ok my love." 

You headed into the bathroom and got ready for bed, returning to Jax handing you your PJs. He opened his arms for you to climb into them and you accepted happily. Jax kissed you softly then settled into the pillows, "goodnight darlin." 

"Goodnight beloved." 

****

You awoke in the morning with a groan, Jax sitting up and running his hand up and down your back, "is everything alright?" His voice was still gravely with sleep.

You shook your head, "no, I'm not looking forward to today. Why did I decide to write this book? I hate these fuckers."

Jax eyebrows wrinkled, "you'll do fine, and I never want to hear you talk about your work like that again. Everyone loves your books and for what it's worth, they are very informative. Like serious, I have learned so much for reading them."

You did your best to hold back a smile, "alright then. I'm going to check on Abel, if he's still feeling sick, can you take him to T-M today?"

Jax nodded, "of course darlin, I don't know how Gemma's going to take it."

You rolled your eyes, "Gemma needs to stay in her own lane, you know she was pissed that he got his flu shot? She said that he's not an old man so he doesn't need it."

Jax's head shook ever so slightly, "yeah, I didn't know how many I missed out on until I met you. I thought everyone got measles when they were younger, I didn't know there was a shot for it until you lost your shit when I told you Gemma got another kid to give it to me."

Your jaw clenched, "which reminds me, you need to get the shingles vaccine."

Jax rolled his eyes lovingly, "yes mum."

You sighed and got up, "I'll go check on Abel, you wanna come?"

Jax threw the covers off and followed you into Abel's bedroom. He was still asleep when to walked in and you rubbed his cheek gently to wake him up, "how are you feeling sweetie?"

He rubbed his face, "tic."

You looked at Jax, who shook his head, "you're going to that podcast, I can take care of him."

You shot him a look, he knew what you were thinking, "alright then Abel, I'll give you some medicine and then you can spend the day with daddy and uncle Sam, how does that sound?"

He smiled just a little, "that good mummy, when can I go back to school."

The expression on Jax's face was priceless, he looked so happy. You sighed and ruffled his hair, "when you're feeling better."

****

You sat in the lobby and waited for the podcaster to come down and get you, the moderators were waiting with you, talking back and forth about the rules for the debate. One was your pick, Mary Roberts, a stern woman in her mid-sixties. 

The other was his pick and, to be expected, looked like any other fake guru with enough money to afford a decent suit. He had introduced himself as Mr Money. In reality, he was Kevin Jones and had come so close to losing his moderator licence that he wasn't meant to be doing anything without supervision. 

Your nerves were growing, you had a feeling this was going to be a shit fight but a text for Jax settled you down. 

"He's just started the countdown to get the stream is going. We're all here and we're rooting for you, Abel's asleep, and Sam's already looking a little punchy."

You felt better knowing they were all there, "give me a play by play? I want to know what everyone's thinking so I can have some laughs when I'm done." 

"Sure darlin, go and kick some ass." 

Just as you steeled yourself, the elevator dinged and the man stepped out. He was just on six foot, his hair and beard perfect but overly so. You could smell him as he walked closer to you and you stood up, holding out your hand for a firm handshake, "hello Mr Burnes. It's a pleasure to meet you." 

He smiled at you, his teeth blindingly white, "hey y/n, we better go up and start, my listeners are waiting." 

You took a deep breath and followed him into the elevators, the following moderators close behind. You stood in silence as you waited to land on his floor, and you could feel his eyes on you, boring holes in your body as they raked over you. 

The elevator stopped and you got off on the floor that hosted the podcast. You went through the large glass doors and were greeted by the set, a bright offensive disaster of design that made you want to throw up. The hand on your back almost made you jump, "please, take a seat and we'll start." 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes and sat down, Mary sitting next to you while Kevin sat next to his friend. You gave a slight smile and the fun began. 

"And we are live and ready to rock. I'm Mason Burnes, the host of Alpha Male talk and we're doing things a little different today. Care to introduce yourself, little lady?" 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and the enjoyment of reading Jax's text when this was all over kept you from punching him, "I'm Dr f/n and I work at the Nothern California science and natural history museum in the medical legal lab. My day job involved identifying bodies too decomposed or discorporated to identify by normal means." 

He gave no reaction, it was like you were speaking another language, "that must be a hard job. As I was saying, today is a bit different. Miss, sorry, Dr l/n is writing a book on the red pill and reached out to me for a debate. We have our two moderators here and their credentials are on the website if our loyal listeners want to go looking." 

You kept your face neutral as he droned on, "we agreed on some rules since this is a proper debate which you can also find on the website. Before we start, I wanna give a word from our sponsors pumped supplements, at pumped supplements you can get high quality ground organ meat pills so you can achieve your gains while nurturing your body and building natural testosterone." 

Your phone buzzed again, Frank's pattern this time, which must mean your guys were listening too. His face was smug as he looked at you, "I'll start. He clicked at the moderators and a bell chimed, "why are you writing your book?" 

You took a deep breath, "the red pill community, like all communities, has an outside perception that varies from total adoration to total hatred. I wanted to understand it myself while creating an opportunity for others to do the same. So far, I have written six books on a variety of subjects and each time, I strive to provide an objective and thorough look at the topic I am writing about." 

Burnes' face was blank, "how can you be objective when it's a red pill truth that women are not objective?" 

"One question per person, the next indiscretion will cause you to be docked, Mr Burnes." You were grateful for the Mary stepping in but you were thinking beyond the rules. 

"Can you please explain what a red pill truth is, with scientific backing, of course?" 

He blinked, "a red pill truth is what the world really is, not what Disney told us." 

Mary stepped in, "as per the rules, you will need to produce backing. If not, the point automatically goes to Dr l/n." 

He huffed, "I don't have it here with me." 

She shook her head, "not good enough Mr Burnes, point to Dr l/n. You may ask your second question Mr Burnes." 

"How does your boyfriend feel about you going on this podcast?" 

His tone was smug until Kevin, who was meant to be his friend, stepped in, "no personal question man." 

You waved your hand, "no, it's fine. My partner, my fiance, has no issues with it. He supports me and my work both literary and professional. In the past, if he has had concerns so we talk about them but in those cases, it's about my safety. I acknowledge we are going off on a tangent, but why bring up personal matters when as part of the rules, we agreed to stick to facts and questions about the red pill itself?"

Burnes ground his jaw, "I just wanted to make sure I wasn't stepping on any toes. My turn, given evolutionary biology, would you agree that women chase men that are of higher status than them?" 

You smiled softly, "I hadn't heard of that I, and recently completed a Bachelor of evolutionary biology, can you please point me to your source?"  

He swallowed, Mary's tone becoming harsher, "Mr Burnes, I do not enjoy repeating myself. If Dr l/n has to ask you to produce your sources once more, I'm afraid she will gain the point immediately. You were advised to have them ready to present before you asked your question." 

Burnes looked towards his friend but he shook his head, "I believe it's my turn to ask a question. How can the red pill tell men to only pick pure women while also telling them that if a woman doesn't sleep with them within three dates, she's not worth it? I have ten clips of your podcasts, forty articles and two book passages to prove this is a common red pill talking point." 

Burnes' face was covered in barely concealed anger, "you're misunderstanding what the red pill is talking about." 

Kevin had a smile on his face, "you need to clarify or the point will go to Mason." 

You smiled wider, "gladly, on your podcast, number fifty nine, you said and I quote, 'all women are whore no matter what, picking a good woman means picking a woman who is less of a whore than the others but a huge whore when it comes to you.' Three podcasts later, you said 'you should only marry a virgin, all other women are dirty' You said one thing, then contradicted yourself three weeks later. If you can't clarify your point, I don't think you understand it well." 

"Well Mr Burnes?" You fought the urge to smile as Mary crossed her arms over her chest and your phone buzzed for the billionth time. Mary rolled her eyes, "point to Dr l/n, your question Mr Burnes." 

"Ah, yes. Ummm, as an anthropologist, what is your opinion on hypergamy?" 

It was taking effort not to hit him, "you already asked me that question when you asked about evolutionary biology." 

You could hear the upset in Kevin's voice, "she's right, you did," he huffed, "point to y/n." 

You could see him getting angrier, which was perfect timing for your next question, "how does the red pill justify the idea that women are the emotional sex when men commit the majority of violent crimes and the studies of these men cite their anger as the main cause. You also go to prove this point yourself, as on many of your podcasts, men yell and scream while the women are calm. I have a list of the podcasts and the studies here. There are seventy five sources in total." 

You could almost see his brain break, "that's not angry y/n that's passion." 

You sighed, "so you're saying a man caving his wife's face in is passion?" 

He shook his head, "I think we should move onto call ins, what do you think?" 

You smiled, "of course, it's understandable that you want to get outside help. You're clearly struggling." 

****

"Holy shit, that was brutal." Happy sounded positively over the moon

Jax had a smile from ear to ear, "I'm so proud of her."

Sam had left to check on Abel long before the calls in started, citing wanting to put his fist through the wall as the reason.

Juice shushed them, eager to hear the next person ringing with a stupid question, "yeah, the name's Dave but my friends call me killer, I read on the museum website that you are a sexologist, how does you beta male mate feel about you having sex at work?"

Jax imagined you had your head in your hands, "I don't have sex at work ever." Jax knew that was a lie, the Egyptian room got plenty of use, "if you had taken the time to read more than the first sentence, you would know I'm a researcher with a focus on BDSM, consent education and women's rights."

"I'm done man, I'm gonna go hang with Chucky." With that, Opie was up and out of the office, leaving the group even smaller.

Jax tuned back in after sending you an update. He could hear the relief in your voice when the bell chimed, "and that's it for the day. I'd thank y/n but I think I lost half my brain cells in the last two hours. Any last words thot?"

Jax clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would break, "yes, thank you for having me on. I wish you could have handled this with the grace and maturity you claim to have in every area of life, but then I've never met a man who used the word thot who was mature."

****

You arrived at T-M to a round of applause, all but running into Jax's arms, "that was very impressive darlin." 

You huffed, "you should have seen his face when I went on about Afghanistan after his comment about only men being able to fight. I thought his dick was going to fall off." 

You pressed your lips to his and his hand stroked your cheek, "are you alright? It was two hours of people ganging up on you." 

You nodded, "I'm alright, you beta male cuck." 

Jax chuckled, "is this the part where you tell me you're leaving me for a better man with a protein bar line?" 

You sighed, "no my love. You have no idea how much I love you and how wonderful you are." 

Jax smirked, "when we go home, I'm going to run you a bath and do your hair, then I'm going to spend as long as you want rubbing the ache out of your muscles because I know how tense that whole ordeal would have made you." 

You plopped your head against his chest, "how's Abel?" 

Jax smiled softly as he stroked your back, "Sam's in the dorm with him, he's alright." 

You let out a breath, "I'm going to go check on him, then I'm taking you up on your offer of a pampering." 

Jax held onto you for a moment longer, "are you sure you're alright?"

You nodded slightly, "I will be. Abel isn't allowed on the internet without supervision until he's thirty."

Jax chuckled softly, "alright darlin."

****

Knock knock

The come in from Sam was soft so you opened to door quietly. Sam was in the dorm holding Abel, walking back and forth along the room while bobbing softly, "he's not an infant anymore Sammy." 

Sam pressed his cheek to Abel's "he's still small enough for me to carry." 

You smiled, "are you alright little brother?" 

He sighed, "I'm fine, are you?" 

You shrugged, "I'm ok, Jax tells me you didn't last long listening to the podcast." 

Sam shook his head and held Abel tighter, "I don't know how you did it, those men are monsters." 

You took a deep breath, "is something else on your mind?" 

It's not like he had any reason to keep his feelings to himself, you couldn't hide anything from each other. He placed Abel down on the bed, still fast asleep then sat on the edge and patted it for you to sit next to him. 

"You know he's going to be back right?" He was referring to your father. 

"I know but we'll be fine Sam, we always are. When he does come back, we won't let him near our kids, even if that means taking out a restraining order." 

Sam sighed and flopped his head onto your shoulder, "do you think we ended up the way we did to make up for the things we went through when we were kids? I mean, no matter how many families you bring back together, it doesn't make up for the fact that we never had anyone but each other." 

You nodded, "I know, and no matter how big your muscles are, no matter how much you can lift or how long you can run, it doesn't make up for the fact that you once felt small and weak. We still have healing to do, I think with you becoming a father, you just have a bit more to do than you thought." 

He took your hand in his and squeezed, "the flashbacks are getting bad again, and so are the nightmares and I don't know why." 

You squeezed him back, "because the kids are always the hardest. You've seen the pain a parent goes through and with everything that happened early in Ima's pregnancy, it's just your brain running in circles. Go talk to someone at Anvil, there's no shame in getting help." 

Sam relaxed, "I think I might do that. You're telling me the truth when you say we're going to be ok?" 

You nodded, "yep." 

****

Come Thursday, you were relieved when Nero called and told you the grand opening would be next week to give time for more advertising thank you Lyla. It meant you could focus on Jax's high school reunion, which meant sitting next to Jax while you pointed to photos and asked him questions. 

"Are you ready or do you want me to quiz you?" Jax's tone was light and filled with affection. 

You shook your head, "I am not that bad Teller." 

He huffed, "yes you are. What are you going to wear?" 

You shrugged, "I can't choose between wearing my work clothes or just a nice dress since both were an option." 

Jax smirked, "your work clothes, I fucking love you in that labcoat." 

You rolled your eyes, "you are insufferable, but I'll do it for you." 

He leaned across the table and kissed you, "thank you darlin, can I offer you a suggestion?" You nodded, "just be you. I know you want to play the diplomat but I wouldn't trade you for the world, even if you piss everyone off with your giant brain." 

You smiled, "well when you put it like that, how can I say no?" 

****

You took a deep breath and screwed up your face, "ahh high school, it smells like pits and body spray."

Jax looked at you with one of his eyebrows raised, "really y/n?"

You shook your head, "I'm not wrong, most teenagers smell."

He sighed, "come on darlin. We better go in." He threw his arm over your shoulder as you walked up to the table in front of the gym where the reunion was being held, the blonde woman sitting at it giving him a huge smile.

"Hello Jackson." Her tone reminded you of the mean girls at school, her expression more so when she turned towards you, "you must be his girlfriend. Jax is right, you are pretty."

You kept your face neutral as you stuck out your left hand, "his soon to be wife more accurately. You must be Mindy, Jax has told me all about you."

Her smile dropped at your deadpan as she slid the name cards across the table, "enjoy your night."

You walked inside and Jax placed his hand on your lower back and whispered in your ear, "I can't remember her backing down so fast."

You smiled and tilted your head, "now's your chance to hone your skills as a practical predator. I pose a challenge, if you can navigate this whole thing and get something out of it, whether it be information or a new way to ingratiate yourself into the town, I'm yours for whatever you wish when the night ends."

There was that look, "you're on darlin." He sealed it with a kiss on your cheek. You had a few moments of peace before people started coming up to you. The first was Michael, Jax had described him as the typical popular high school boy, and you could tell his attitude hadn't changed much.

"Jax, it's good to see you." He turned to you and looked you up and down, "who might you be?"

You stuck out your hand, squeezing his the a handshake harder than he squeezed yours, "I'm y/n, Jax's partner. Who are you?"

Michael smiled, "I was on the football team, I'm in business now." You already knew that but that wasn't the point.

"What kind of business?" You didn't miss the tightness in Jax.

"Oil, it's great money."

You smiled cynically, "yes, I imagine it is. It was nice meeting you Michael but there's lots of people I'd like to talk to."

Jax was walking away from him just as fast as you were, "what did you learn my love?"

He didn't need to think, "he's telling the truth about the oil. Everything he owns costs, down to his hair plugs. That, combined with his attitude and the fact that he didn't elaborate on his job, makes me believe him."

You smiled, "Very good Jackson, I agree with you wholeheartedly, but what does that mean for you?"

He huffed, "I like it when you sleep straight at night, I know you couldn't stomach T-M having anything to do with him."

You felt your chest grow warm, "my sweet, noble Jackson, you have no idea how grateful I am that I have you."

Jax gave you a soft smile, "the feeling is mutual darlin."

Your quiet time did last long, Jax made it easy to forget you were surrounded by people. Jax was much warmer to the next person, a tall man with a mass of hair, they shared a hug and Jax made introductions," this is Simon, he was a lab partner."

Jax had spoken highly of Simon, so it was a pleasure to finally meet him and the feeling seemed mutual, "I work in New York at the institute of science, I've heard many good things about you."

You smiled, "do you work in the biology department?" He nodded, "so are you the Simon of the growth of micro fungus during dry decomposition?"

He smiled, "I am."

Jax shook his head, "I knew you two would get along, you're both huge nerds."

Simon chuckled affectionately, "says the best lab partner I ever had, and that includes when I did my PhD."

Jax didn't like the smile that came over your face, "well Simon, we have much to talk about."

The next person, a man named Christopher, was another pleasant interaction. He was the uncle of one of the students who always showed up for your talks, "Terry tells me good things about you." Terry, the young boy, spoke highly of his uncle, a former army Captain who now sold custom car parts.

You smiled at him and waved Jax over from the snack table, "Terry is a brilliant student, he will make an excellent doctor."

He and Jax shook hands, it was friendly but not close, "how did you too know each other?"

Jax smiled, "we were in the same English class."

Christopher chuckled, "it wasn't my strong suit. Your man however, he knew his way around a book."

You turned to Jax, "all I've heard the whole night is how good you were in school. I have to get into admin now."

Jax sighed, "you're killing me here."

You shook your head, "sure. How is your business going, Terry tells me you're looking to start selling into garages now?"

Christopher nodded, "I am," he turned to Jax, "I know it might be a bit inappropriate but I was hoping to steal a moment of your time?"

You and Jax shared a look, "I'm going to go talk to Mr Finny and see when I can come and do another talk, I'll leave you gentlemen to discuss business."

Jax watched you leave with a smile on his face, remembering that now was the perfect time to rise to your challenge, "how many shops do you sell into now?"

Christopher smiled softly, "four, all high end. I'll called a few months ago but Clay shot me down and said he already.."

Jax waved his hand, "you don't need to sell me, the guy who used to sell us the part wasn't all that good. I'll be happy to take you on as long as I can see them in person and make sure they work. We can work out pricing from there."

Jax thought over everything he had learned over the last two and a bit weeks, "have you heard about Anvil military contracting?"

Jax received an aggressive nod, "they're always looking for people to make shit for them. Are you willing to make more than car parts if I put a good word in for you?"

He could see the dollar signs in Christopher's eyes, "hell yeah, I already do some stuff for crash testing. How do you know Russo?"

Jax smiled, "he y/n's best friend, they were in the same unit she was a forensic consultant."

Something changed in Christopher's face, "wow man, I've heard stories about that unit but, shit," he lost his train of thought, "for a guy that slept with everything in town, you sure know how to pick on to settle down with."

Jax tilted his head and furrowed his lips, "what do you mean?"

Christopher huffed, "rumours were going around about a corp recon unit with a woman civilian consult, word from the enemy was she could kill a man with a look. We all thought it was bullshit."

Jax smiled, "y/n's is harmless, I'll put in a good word for you with Russo, if you pass all their checks I'm sure he's be happy to take you on."

Christopher smiled wide, 'thanks man, I'll be at T-M on Monday first thing."

Jax nodded, "looking forward to seeing you. I'm sure y/n will be happy to chat with you, it would be better coming from her." He looked around for you. You must have finished with Mr Finny because you were walking away from Mrs Gio with a smile on your face, it was the man walking up to you that made his heart race. Christopher followed his gaze, "I better go deal with this."

He nodded, "yeah, go."

Jax strolled, not wanting to cause a scene and came up beside you just as the man approached. Jax ignored the man who had tried to introduce himself to you and spoke to you as if he wasn't there, "hey darlin, do you think you can put in a good work in for Christopher to Billy about his parts business? If all goes well on our end, T-M will be working with him."

You gave him a wide smile, "of course, if he passes all our check we're more than happy to have another company to help us make stuff."

Jax turned to his old classmate, now having thought of a strategy, "sorry man, I gotta talk before my fiancée's beautiful face distracts me."

You could sense the tension in the air, "how do you two know each other?"

Jax squeezed you tighter, "we had gym together, isn't that right Sean?"

The man nodded, "yeah, are you y/n? Kendra was telling me all about you." You had spoken to Kendra briefly, the former mean girl wasn't too different from the girls you went to school with, and she hadn't changed much.

You blinked, "I'm not sure how, she only met me tonight, and we only talked for a few minutes," you turned to Jax, "can you go get me another water my love, I want to talk with your old gym buddy more?"

Jax looked from you to Sean and shook his head, "I know you can handle yourself but I'm not leaving you alone with him. It's time I show you around the school anyway."

Jax pulled you away and you didn't miss the look that Jax shared with Sean.

Jax whisked you out of the gym and down the hall, taking you right to the office, while holding you close, "I'm guessing your operation to get into admin worked?"

You nodded, "it did, is that where we're going now?"

He smiled, "yeah, I got to celebrate winning."

You raised your eyebrows, "by giving me what I want? You are alright my love?"

Jax chuckled, "nah, you can look at my records but I still get to have you however I want you when we get home so it's doesn't matter to me."

You pressed your lips together, "what are your plans my love?"

He looked at you, his face all predator, "we're in a school, I think it's best to keep it to myself."

You swallowed, "well then, at least I don't have anything to do tomorrow."

You and Jax rounded the corner and arrived at the admin office, "we're here."

You went behind a photo and pulled out a key, sticking it in the lock and opening the door before rushing over to the far end of the room. You ran your hand down the file cabinet to the year when Jax started and pulled a key from your pocket, "mmm T, T, T, Teller, here it is."

You yank the file out of the drawer and start reading out loud, "Jackson Teller is a wonderful student who could have great potential if he only applied himself," you sighed, "I knew that. Your disciplinary record is thick but there's only a few marked as red so you weren't a bully, which doesn't surprise me."

You flicked through it and huffed, "I see why you did what you did before, Jackson stated he struck Sean after he slapped a girl's backside multiple times. The girl and other witnesses support Jackson's version of the story but Sean's mother has still requested a suspension."

You walked up to Jax and pressed your lips to his, "my brave knight, why am I not surprised?"

Jax sighed and lifted his hand to your face, stroking your cheek, "now that you've had your fun can we go home now?"

You nodded, "hell fucking yeah."

Part 61

[bigbadripley]

Chapter 16 - Muscle Memory

Marc Spector&Co. x Ex!F!OC, F!OC x Modern!Miguel O'Hara

Summary: Everything changed after Marc and Simone moved to New York. Being in a relationship with the Fist of Khonshu proved to be difficult enough without the added obstacles of normal relationships being forced into the mix. With seemingly irreconcilable differences overhead, fate’s plans continue to drive the pair back into each other’s lives, testing their patience, self-control, and new relationships. Is it truly written in the stars, or is it old habits taking over?

18+!! | Third-person omniscient | Dark elements | AU/AT |   Warnings: Language, OC with religious trauma, childhood trauma, sexual trauma. Effects of trauma in adulthood. Angst, daydreaming of smut, reference to non-dubious consent, Jen is back with the patience of Job, reference to violence.

Words: 6K-ish

A/N: I update warnings with each chapter. Only proceed if you can handle the themes included in the warnings.

Minors DNI, DL;DR, if I miss a warning, please let me know.

Chapter List and AO3 saw it first!

" Again, off into the next fall I am on the back steps trying to let you in See you standing in the front hall Maybe this is madness underneath my skin Guess love is a response of the body it haunts And we do what it wants " -"Muscle Memory" by Lights

After a few sleepless nights, Simone learned the hard way that she had been backed into a corner. She knew she called Marc in her drunken stupor, but for the life of her, couldn't remember what she said. All she knew was it was a very angry and long voicemail.

To her surprise, Marc didn't respond to it in any capacity. She couldn't tell if this was for the better or not, wondering if she had really pulled the trigger this time and said something she couldn't take back. Whether it was truthful or not boggled her imagination. 

Miguel was still MIA from Simone's life, and she continued to keep her distance. As far as how she would fix things with him, everything seemed unclear. She wanted him to get fair treatment and give him what he wanted: confirmation and reassurance that she was done with the troubled trio. Her calling them only magnified the issue that she was indeed not done with them after all.

In a surprising turn of events, it ended up being Jennifer who she apologized to profusely for her behavior in having made her friend babysit her all night. Jen was quick to forgive her and play it off like it was nothing to be sorry for, which relieved Simone but led to a conversation about her actions. 

"You really did it this time, Simmy," Jen told her vaguely in response to her question about the voicemail. 

I sure did.  She thought to herself, expecting her phone to have been flooded with missed calls and messages from Marc's number, but there was nothing but radio silence. This would go on for days, only further reminding her of her situation with Miggy. To cope, she did what she did best: threw herself into her work.

"So, you missed our session last week. Do you wanna explain?" Simone asked the blond young man sitting across from her. It wasn't like Teddy Altman to miss, and allowing him to tell her why was a good start to getting him to unlock his emotions.

"Is being stuck in a void-like state reason enough?" He asked as he leaned back into the soft leather seat across from Simone. This piqued the doctor's interest.

"'We talking mental void or physical?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow. Before the boy could answer, a clap of thunder bellowed above their heads and stole their individual attention momentarily. Simone hadn't realized it was raining. 

Fitting.  She thought to herself.  Sounds like napping weather.

"Physical," Teddy spoke up once the sound died away. This brought his doctor's attention back, causing her to sit up in her seat a bit more. The young man explained further, "I was trapped there by some... I don't know what the hell you'd call it. Think of a Dungeons and Dragons-type hag and that's the best description I can give."

This made Simone chuckle. Teddy sounded a bit excited to speak of the no-doubt terrifying villain he faced. She deduced that he didn't get to gush as often as he'd like, given all of his close pals are normally there with him when these things happen. She appreciated his willingness to speak and was happy to be his ear as his eyes filled with boyish wonder.

As Teddy's tale came to an end, he was sitting on the edge of his seat and talking with his hands. "And then Billy..." He trailed off at his own mention of the name. He suddenly grew quiet, his head dropping and eyes falling to his lap.

Though Simone would normally find this to be a curious transition, she wasn't as surprised when it came to Teddy at the mention of the other young man, whom he had a complicated relationship with. Another beat of silence passed before Simone spoke up. 

"I sense there's  more  you wanna discuss than your latest adventure?" 

Teddy audibly sighed as all amusement drained from his face. It tugged at something in Simone's heart, being familiar with the emotion.

"I tried to create space like you suggested, but our day jobs always seem to push us back together." He started, suddenly becoming shy with his words. Simone motioned for him to continue with a nod, signally that he was doing fine. "It's been rough standing triumphant by his side and having to fight the urge to grab him and hold him."

Simone could have gagged at how she found so much similarity between his situation and her own. There seemed to be no getting away from her own flame, but Teddy and Billy had a vastly different relationship.

"Like I told you before, regardless of the job, having to do it with your ex is tough." She said, reaffirming her statement from their previous session. Teddy visibly winced at her use of the word "ex" like it was final. 

All Teddy wanted was to figure out if his feelings for Billy were real and not a consequence of the other boy's lack of control over his own powers. The ability to bend reality sounds peachy until you realize it affects you, as well. Still, it had been weeks since the idea occurred to Teddy and it seemed like his feelings never changed. "You two are young, and it sounds like you've given separation a very considerable shot. Did it do anything for you?"

"It made me miss him more," Teddy admitted. 

And there it is.  Simone thought.  Bingo was his name-o.

"Then it seems like you got the answers you needed. It sounds like you truly love Billy, and that you two are lucky to have each other. Perhaps it's time to lean into that again? Reexplore that feeling?" She suggested.

Another quiet moment passed as Teddy mulled over her words. This allowed Simone to point out a fact that the young man seemed to be overlooking. "Is Billy here? Have you seen him since last week?  You  are choosing Billy by declaring that you miss him.  You  made that deduction, no puppetry."

Teddy's eyes widened at her, "I guess I never thought about it that way." He spoke, seeming befuddled by the idea. Right then, the alarm signaling the end of their session began to ring through the air. "I'm gonna go talk to him." 

"Let me know how that goes next week," Simone said with a smile, watching as he scooped up his backpack and nearly ran out of her office.

All thoughts of the nap Simone planned to take after work had left her mind just as quickly as they came. She knew there had to have been something more to this, that it wasn't just an exaggerated feeling or thought that brought her to the conclusion that something bigger was at play, drawing her and Marc together like rare earth magnets. 

With her feet firmly planted on the sidewalk across the street from the Midnight Mission, her nerves buzzed, her joints felt tight, and she could scarcely draw a full breath. The once pouring rain had turned into a light sprinkle causing cold droplets to coat her hair.

Am I doing this?  She asked herself.

The more she drew herself to putting her right foot forward, to make that first step back to the domain of that cursed bird, her stomach did cartwheels. Visions clouded her mind of a car pulling up out of nowhere and the occupants grabbing her, dragging her away from making this grave mistake.

Or a car could just slam into me. Not enough to kill me, but enough to knock some sense into my dumb ass. Or break one of my legs to keep me from taking another step.

The memory of the car that nearly hit her a few yards away from where she stood came into her memory and immediately changed her mind about the convenience of the idea. 

That one would probably miss me too. That can't be a coincidence. None of this is.

A shakey breath fell from her nostrils as she pulled her phone out and began calling Jen. One last lifeline, in case things go sideways. Simone needed someone to know she was here, of all places. 

It's like 'if you don't hear from me in the next 12 hours, I'm probably dead' but more in the tune of 'if you don't hear from me in the next 12 hours, I'm probably in bed with the enemy.'  She snickered to herself.

The line had just clicked, and Jennifer answered cheerfully on the other end.

"Hey girl, what's up?"

Simone's voice caught in her throat. She didn't know what to say, afraid to admit that she had pretty much failed at one simple task she set in place for herself.

"Hello? You there?"

"I fucked up." Simone nearly whispered into the phone as her voice cracked and a single, hot tear rolled down her face. It was almost sad how powerless she felt. It was all she could bring herself to choke out, even if it made little sense to the confused and concerned friend in her ear.

"What do you mean? Is this about Miguel?" 

As Jen made her almost desperate attempt to get answers through the phone, Simone felt her heart stop abruptly at the sight of a figure, completely draped in white, opening the door to the building she stared at. He spotted her immediately like he was expecting her. This meeting suddenly felt far more final than before.

"I gotta go now." She stated coldly before a numb finger hit the red hang-up button and her dead arm fell to her side, sliding the device back into the bag that sat lazily on her tense shoulder. She swore he could hear her heart race from where they stood.

Marc's body froze in the doorway, hardly believing that Moni hadn't started walking, avoiding his glace the second he stepped outside. He questioned if this was another doppelganger, but the hesitant body language was too quick to give her away. 

"Oh, my gods, what do we do? What do we say?" Steven chimed in as they observed Moni stepping in their direction now, the closer she drew the more prominent her clenched jaw became.

"Take it easy, English. Prob'ly not best for you to start us off." Jake interrupted, thinking he was about to take the front seat for this exchange. All the while, Marc could only think of a single thing to say, lips unable to form anything else as she arrived within earshot of a greeting.

"Moni?" He spoke in the form of a question. Of course, it was her; all cold eyes and no smile to speak on her behalf. 

"Hey." She replied, followed by an audible deep breath. Marc began to wish he was a mind reader, examining the faint stress lines of her face before his eyes dropped to her right hand, picking the cuticles of her thumb with her index finger, subconsciously. 

No sense in standing here.

"Come in." He gestured, holding the door open and stepping out of the way enough for her to brush through. She stared blankly still, left foot rocking in place before she picked up her right instead. The more Marc gawked, the more he noticed her poker face begin to crumble. Her eyes were red and her cheeks and lashes gleamed with spent water that didn't seem to be from the rain. "Have you been crying?" 

The concern in his voice could have made Simone start bawling once more. It reminded her of the Marc she used to know all too well. The Marc she seemingly showed up here in search of. Maybe his heart was still in there somewhere. Maybe it still had room for her. 

No. You're here for answers.

"Maybe." She responded as she slinked through the heavy door. She walked through the Mission as she had done dozens of times, turning into Marc's office and standing in wait as he followed at a distance. Once the door was shut behind them, no time was wasted in asking questions.

"What happened? Did Miguel hurt you?" 

Though it wasn't correct, the fact that he could gather even close to the truth showed Simone that he could still read her like a book. She felt a tinge of annoyance at this before reminding herself that he was fishing for what he wanted to hear.

Don't let him in your head.

"No, it was something I did." She admitted. If she wanted honesty about the situation, she needed to supply it first. "I have these stupid dreams, and you're in them and-"

"He heard you in your sleep." Marc cut her off, promptly, but in a tone that was barely above a whisper. Her eyes darted up at him, seemingly burning holes through his mask exactly where his own eyes would be. "After you started taking those sleeping pills... they made you talk in your sleep." He elaborated further as if he needed to explain what she already knew. Moni crossed her arms with a huff at this and Marc threw his hands up, "Don't act like I shouldn't remember these things."

Simone's frustration stemmed from the fact that this seemed to be a known fact to everyone but herself. Still, she knew picking a fight would get her nowhere and took a breath before replying. 

"Exactly that. So I need to know something, and don't you dare look at me like I'm nuts for this." She attempted to speak firmly but couldn't get past the rising feeling of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. She didn't want to admit any of this, especially not to him.

Acceptance is one of the steps, right?  She thought as she steeled herself once more and continued. "You live in my head. The only time I  don't  think about you is when I'm with Miggy. When I'm alone, when I'm with friends, when I'm fucking asleep! I can't get you out, and somehow, chaos keeps happening around me and you tend to be there when it does. No matter what I do, you can't seem to leave me alone. So why is that?"

Marc stood quietly for a beat as each of her words delayed heavily in his thoughts. There was only one explanation that he knew of, but she would surely hate him for saying so. That being said, he was at a loss for words.

"Moni... I-"

"Take that fuckin' thing off, so I know you're telling me the truth." She interrupted, nodding her head upward as her deep brown eyes continued to burrow into his, searching for an expression under the mask. 

There she is.  Marc thought, expecting his face covering to come up at some point. 

As Marc's white-gloved hands traveled up to the top of the mask, Moni instinctively dropped her gaze to her freshly picked fingers. A hint of regret at her request filled her and knotted her stomach as he revealed his face to the blur of her peripheral vision. Without much thought, her eyes flicked back up and studied his.

Marc's hair was unkept, his face unshaven, and a steri-strip sealed a freshly split scar over his left temple. He was bruised, and clearly tired around the eyes. Even then, Simone's first thought was how he was still  gorgeous . She felt the corners of her mouth twitch, but she couldn't pinpoint if they were trying to form a grin or a frown. 

The awkward silence felt eternal, and Marc's throat grew more dry by the second. He swallowed harshly before finishing his previous thought.

"I don't understand it either. It's like some kind of gravitational pull. Like I know when you need me..." He trailed off as the guilt from the half-truth bubbled up. He could only bring himself to describe how it felt, the burning sensation behind his eyes building as he remembered that day in the hospital. The day he branded her for life. The day he gave her to Khonshu. 

Marc's words echoed loudly in her skull. If she wasn't desperate for answers, she would call his bluff. Yell about how it was the biggest load of bullshit he had ever spewed to her, and yet, the words were just too damn pretty to let slide. Her head began to buzz. She lacked the words, then the composure, and before she could get ahold of herself, the self-control.

Simone all but leaped forward, gripping Marc's stubble-riddled face between her palms, mashing her lips into his. His knees nearly gave in from the surprise as his body caved back, and it felt as if he was falling fifty feet down, but soon found solace in the wall behind him.

Completely selfish, self-indulgent, self-sabotage. Just like old times. His lips tasted of coffee and his teeth were impossibly clean. The same old feeling and ordinary familiarity, but Marc still proved himself to be  far  from ordinary. 

Simone was doomed to an eternity of yearning for this sickly sweet sap that she first sampled as a teenager. It was comfort, all the while feeling like it could corrode her from the inside. She couldn't find a care in the world as her body was shifted, gloved fingers dug into her thighs and pulled her off of her feet, suddenly knocking the wind from her lungs as her back hit the wall she previously faced.

The ache ran deeper than ever as whiskers rubbed her jaw raw while lips and teeth trained at her neck. As she forgot how to breathe, she felt her nerves climb to impossible heights like her wet dreams had become reality once more. 

Murdock was undoing the buttons on his shirt when a knock at his door pulled him from his thoughts of what he could have done better in the courtroom that morning. He wasn't expecting anyone, and Simone had a key, so whoever was knocking was unknown to him. 

Before he had a chance to focus and identify who it might have been, they gave the surprise away. 

"Anyone home?" The visitor asked, voice just above their normal speaking volume. It was Jen, and this meant that she was either there for Simone or something was wrong. Matt and Jen had called off their casual escapades months ago.

Upon answering the door, the short woman crossed her arms and glared up at him, doing her best to avoid gazing at his bare chest peaking under the unbuttoned shirt. "Is Simone here?"

"No, she hasn't come back from the office yet."

"She called me a bit ago. Sounded like she was in trouble." Jen advised as she pushed past Matt and into his apartment. The brief contact of her shoulder brushing him felt almost intimate, and he couldn't help but note how sweet she smelled.

"And you think she would be in trouble here, of all places?" Matt questioned cockily, finding the concept to be foolish, especially for Jennifer Walters. Jen through her hands up and let them fall back down harshly, causing a loud smack to reverberate from her arms hitting her sides.

"Okay, well, this is  Simone . Where the hell else would she be?"

The second the question left Jennifer's lips, the answer clicked in her brain. Conveniently, the blind man got the same idea.

"The Mission." The pair said in unison. 

"I don't know what to say, but I think I may know who to ask. Give me a minute." Simone heard as she snapped back to Earth, Marc's words interrupting her pornographic head movie. 

Goddamnit, get out of my head!  She thought. She cleared her now too-moist throat and nodded briskly, everting her stare to the floor once again. Her heart rate was through the roof and if she was a betting woman, she would put money on the notion that he could hear it from where he stood. 

As Marc exited his office, he left the door slightly ajar. Simone thought about following behind and nearly stepped to do so before her phone started ringing from her bag. A quick peek verified it was Jen calling her back, but was met with an even quicker press of the decline button.

In another room, not even 10 feet away from his office, Marc stood with his hands in his pockets and retreated into his mind. In this meditative state that he had been practicing, he was able to not only see the two other gentlemen who lived in his brain, but he could dig deeper into his connection to his beaked God. 

This state took the form of a dark void enshrouded by bright stars and formations of all colors. It was a sight to behold, like a photo from the Hubble telescope. Marc imagined it was far from Khonshu's new digs on Asgard, knowing the other gods would never let him have a view this breathtaking to look at during his imprisonment. 

From this spot, Marc could call out to Khonshu. Though it normally took a few echoey yells to summon him, it never failed. 

"Marc Spector. It has been too long."  The bird's voice boomed across his cranial recesses. If he wasn't so used to it, his body on the physical plane would flinch. Though Marc couldn't see Khonshu, his presence was just as loud. 

"I'm not here to catch up," Marc stated, making sure he knew this visit was for business, not pleasure. "I need to know what's going on with Moni, and I think you have something to do with it. You and that damn mark you manipulated me into putting on her."

"You already know the answer! She's protected!"

"There's more to it and you know it. What haven't you told me?"

Just as Simone started to question what was taking Marc so long, she started hearing footsteps approaching from outside the office. A chill fled down her spine the closer they came. She hoped it wasn't a total loss coming here and that whatever he disappeared to do helped her cause. 

As Marc reentered the office, the urge to engage in some form of small talk arose. Though Simone didn't come here to discuss the weather or see how Marc was really doing, she wanted to pick his brain. More than that, she wanted to speak to the whole trio again. 

"I think I got it, but you're gonna hate me more than you already do," Marc informed her as he closed the door behind him and leaned on it. Simone nearly opened her mouth to argue that she didn't hate him before she clocked the fact that he was blocking her only exit. Either he didn't realize it, or it was something he really needed her to hear out and didn't want her running off before he finished. This didn't settle her nerves.

"Just tell me." She said in an attempt to sound more calm than she was. She didn't know where this was going, but a part of her already didn't like it. The look in Marc's eyes told her how she needed to feel. They were the same eyes he had when she confronted him about keeping Jake a secret.

More fucking secrets, just when I thought there couldn't possibly be more shit he could keep from me.

"When you were in the hospital, unconscious, wounded, starved... I hated it. I said I would never let something like that happen to you again. I wanted you to get better and be safe, even if I wasn't around, and Khonshu told me to do something." Marc began. His eyes never broke contact with hers as he spoke, still soft and telling of wrongdoing that was unbeknownst to her. 

At the mention of Khonshu, Simone immediately felt nauseous. She squinted at Marc, who seemed to be trying to gauge her reaction before continuing. 

"What'd you do to me?" She asked quietly, hating the way the question sounded as it left her tongue. There was unfortunately no better way to phrase it. The wording made Marc frown and step toward her without much thought.

"He had be draw his symbol on your forehead... a moon." He told her as the gap closed between them more. He knew he was risking getting hit, but it couldn't be worse than the emotional blow he would take if Moni misunderstood him. "Not with anything visible but in spirit, I guess." He explained further.

Simone knew she could have backed up, but her legs didn't move. Her throat prepared to tell him to back up, but her mouth didn't open. Her eyes followed his right hand as it came up to her face before training on his pupils once more while he ran a barely grown fingernail lightly over her forehead. "Just like this."

His face was close enough to feel his breath graze her face just as delicately as his finger did. It was clear he was tracing the shape of the crescent moon gradually, taking his time as he drank in the moment. 

The middle finger he used for this then tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear as he continued to speak. "I didn't ask a lot of questions at the time, he just told me it would protect you." 

The gentler he spoke the harder it became for Simone to stay in control of her faculties. Millions of goosebumps spread across her skin. She felt the usual comfort she did while close to him, a comfort she had not felt since they were behind her couch avoiding her face-stealer's explosion. " He  would protect you." Marc half-heartedly corrected. 

It quickly clicked in Simone's mind that by  he , Marc meant the bird. This yanked her right back to Earth, from her floating state to busting her ass. She blinked a couple of times but wasn't able to come up with something to say before he continued. "But it came with a catch that I didn't understand at the time."

"Marc..." She choked out through a too-moist windpipe but still managed to convey to him that he needed to get to his point. The slight stiffness of the tone made the hand on Moni's shoulder begin down her arm. Her focus was elsewhere, paying no mind to the gesture. 

"We're bound together — heart, mind, and soul — under Khonshu. It would explain any thoughts or dreams you've been having, and my instinctive urge to be pulled into whatever direction you're in when you're in need."

His words hit Simone like a train and the sensation of Marc's hand taking hers broke her out of her mesmerized state. She yanked the hand away and finally backed up before crossing her arms,

"You did this without my permission and didn't  tell  me about it? The fuck is wrong with you?" She spat, face filling with disgust but only partly due to what she was hearing.

Why did I let him get that close?  She thought with disappointment in herself.

"Moni, I'm sorry. I didn't kn-."

"You didn't  ask , you didn't care!" Simone cut Marc off before the excuse could finish. She realized she had yelled much louder than she meant to, startling him into a brief silence. She took a shallow breath before she continued, this time in a lower tone. "Now I can't even get you out of my life because we're fucking  moon brothers  or whatever."

Or is it moon married? Christ, I can't imagine that's much better.

Subconsciously studying Marc's face as she finished her thought, she took note of the glass that began to surround the whites of his eyes upon hearing her say that. It was harsh, but she felt she was well within her rights. "How do I get rid of it?"

"You can't, baby, it's a much bigger thing than you think." He said before he realized the old pet name had flown through his teeth, thoughtlessly. Simone was too caught up in the fact that it being  bigger than she thought  did little to make her feel better to notice the word right away.

Her head began to feel light and her vision tunneled around Marc's face. The nausea became worse with each new thing said about her freshly-discovered  disease . As much as she wanted to protest, she knew she needed to be off of her feet for the rest of this chat and took a seat in the soft office chair across from Marc's desk. 

Marc took a knee in front of Moni, letting her fully see his face as he attempted to conjure up something that might help. "There's a lot of celestial shit that even  I  don't understand. Influence, divine intervention, shit like that. As far as I know, there's no cure... Unless death counts. He might just bring you back like the rest of us."

That sounded a lot better in my head.  Marc thought as the woman he loved's eyes widened with abject terror.

"That's so fucked up!" She nearly shouted. Her rage began to grow the more she learned and the longer she spent with the person who put her in this mess. "What does the bird get out of this? His ass wouldn't have me protected  simply  out of the kindness of his fuckin' heart."

"I was getting to that." He lied, not wanting to talk about this portion of the deal at all but knowing he needed to. "Before I say this, just know I don't like it either. The purpose of your protection is so you can take the avatar mantle if it ever comes to that. It's not something you  have  to do though; he has several other people marked the same." 

That was where Simone felt Marc was wrong in his assumptions. She knew how people worked—they do you a favor and absolutely expect something in return. She imagined gods were no different. Khonshu provided a line of defense, and if the time ever came, she would have to pay up. They were pacted. 

"I need to get outta here before I crack you in the fuckin' face." She said as softly as she could as she attempted to stand on wobbly knees. Marc stood as well and was able to act quickly when Simone attempted to take off toward the door and stumbled instead. He managed to catch her by her hips to keep her from falling forward.

"Take it easy. Let's just talk this through. We  need  to understand each other here." Marc said as Moni steadied herself in the room that was only spinning to her. Once she was seeing straight, she shook the hands that tenderly held her away.

"I understand that you pimped me out to your patron." She bit.

"That's not what happened!" Marc defended, holding his hands up both in expression and in an effort to keep them to himself after having them pushed away. "Tell me you wouldn't have done the same if I were in that hospital bed."

"Marc,  you  didn't even want to be involved with Khonshu at the time. Why would I?"

"I think you would have. Regardless of what it meant, you  would  have done it for me. You know how I know?"

Simone was too mad to put up with any more excuses, his words garnering an eye roll and a shrug along with her sarcastic response. 

"Because you think too highly of me,  clearly ."

It was moments like these where Marc wanted to grab Moni by the shoulders and shake her. He hated to not have a better way of calming this conversation, but once he remembered a situation between them where the tables were turned, he had to bring it up.

"Remember when I died fighting that Joker wannabe after we moved here? You said I needed to get out of this, we had a bad fight about it, ring a bell? Do you remember what you said?" He asked, risking poking a nerve by bringing up a sore spot for Moni. He knew he had done it as she stood before him, flabbergasted that he would use that against her.

There were few moments of their first year in New York she hated thinking about, and this was one she preferred to push out of her brain as often as possible, especially when trying to get far, far away from her feelings for Spector. Her mind wandered back to that place so long ago, in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Marc's blood painted the sidewalk outside of the building that was the original Midnight Mission. She stood staring at the man in the crimson-stained white cape, fear overtaking her as she froze and fell to her knees before him. Then, all at once, shock turned to unmistakable anguish and a gutwrenching cry flew from her throat and out into the open air. 

Bloodied fingertips caressed the beautiful, still-warm face of her dead lover and an uncontrollable stream of hot tears poured from her eyes. Her heart ached like she had been punched in the ribs and she felt responsible for not trying harder to make him leave this life.

I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, baby. Don't leave me.

Even reliving it made water prick up from her tear ducts. He came right back with a stiff breath as color returned to his face and Simone could barely contain herself, unsure of how it was possible and swearing she couldn't have  wished  for such a long shot, even if she had the best luck on the planet. 

It didn't stop that fight though, as Marc had mentioned. He wanted to go back out there and continue his business. Simone begged him not to, screamed even.

"I said I'd take your place if it meant you'd be okay," Moni finally responded, evading her gaze to hide her welling up. It was a trick Marc knew well, having seen it dozens of times. Never once did it get easier to see. 

God, you prick.  He thought to himself as a hint of guilt and regret bubbled up from his bringing up the topic. He moved his left foot forward, automatically feeling a pining need to console her. This was met with an instant step back. "But  you  said you'd never be okay again if I did," Moni spoke through a clenched jaw, her voice cracking on the word  you . 

"You're right, I would never want  this  for you," He motioned to his suit, then the Mission surrounding them. " But  I was given a chance to make sure I would never slip up and let you get hurt again, so I took it."

" But- " Simone mocked, "You didn't wait for me to wake up because you  knew  I would say no."

Marc sighed heavily and looked down at his feet, knowing Moni was on the nose about that. He couldn't deny it. "You're right about that, also." 

Simone's folded arms grew tighter to her chest. She didn't know what  she  would have done. Had she thought  'Take me instead'  as he lay on the sidewalk bleeding out? Yes. She valued Marc's life at the time.  Still  did. Even knowing that much, she felt this situation was entirely different. Though she wasn't in a good way at the time in the hospital,  she  was alive.

So is Marc.  She thought, second-guessing if she would have done the same in his place. After all this time, no matter how much she tried to get him out of her life, she was grateful he was still alive.  But he doomed me.  

"I need some time," She said, avoiding eye contact as she started for the office door. Marc knew that meant she was going back home to let her rage stew. It was textbook Moni and he couldn't stop her even if he tried now.

"Call me if you need anything." He spoke emptily, knowing what she would say in response.

"By the sound of it, I won't have to."

[smaptain-smerica]

Female Reader x Rooster

Time: Post-Top gun: Maverick

Y/n Blackwood - L/n, daughter of Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood. Y/n took a strong interest in planes from a young age. Knowing her father was an esteemed pilot drew her even further into the navy. Quickly, she became one of the best solo pilots and graduating at the top of her class at Top Gun.

Her next mission? Return to Top Gun, Face certain death, romantic interests, and finally, her thought-to-be-dead, father.

This book contains strong language and sexual content that may be sensitive readers under the age of 18

This story was originally posted on Wattpad, follow me on there for faster updates. I have published a non-binary version of this story published there for those who do not identify as female or use she/her pronouns. It will follow the exact same story line. Link to Wattpad Account Link to the Non-Binary version

Master list

Saturday Nights

One word; exhaustion.

Todays exercise was beyond tiring. It felt like I was flying for days on end. Maverick has been pushing us harder now than ever before.

I shut the door to my room, immediately ripping my hair out of my required bun and giving my scalp a well deserved scratch. I pulled my phone off the charger and looked at the time. It was already 6 o'clock.

"Shit." I cursed to myself, scrambling to pick out an outfit that I thought was suitable for a date. I settled on a pair of loose fitting jeans and my favorite colored tank top. I gathered up those clothes and made a b-line for the showers.

I showered and changed as quickly as possible. My hair was still in a towel as I walked out of the door. As I walked back to my room I saw someone leaning against the wall on their phone.

Rooster looked up as I approached with a smile on his face. My stomach dropped a little in panic. "What time is it?" I asked him.

"6:20. I just didn't want to be late."

A smirk slowly rose to my face. "You're pretty serious about this huh?"

"You said 6:30 sharp. If I was late you might not say yes when I ask you out again."

"When? That's awfully confident Bradshaw."

A mischievous smirk spread across his face, one I hadn't seen before from him. "After tonight, you won't be able to say no."

"I'm scared now."

"Don't be. It'll be great. Go get your head out of that towel." Rooster encouraged me toward the door by placing a hand on my back and pushing. He opened the door to my room and I looked at him suspiciously as I entered.

I took my hair out of the towel and brushed it out. I did my skin and hair care routine before running a brush through the damp mess. My phone buzzed on the nightstand and let out the annoying alarm noise. As I turned it off there was a knock at the door.

"It's 6:30!" Rooster sang from the other side of the door. I laughed as I walked over and opened it.

"Let's get going then."

We made our way to the parking lot and jumped into Roosters Bronco. He apologized in advance as the place we were going was 45 minutes away. I was a little surprised to hear but I didn't complain. I wasn't the one driving.

After about 15 minutes of intense jamming to 80's classics, Rooster finally sparked a conversation. "You know, Mav told me he might put us together for the mission."

I raised my eyebrows, showing interest in what he was telling me. "Why?"

"He thinks that I'll reel you in if you decide to do something stupid." He answered with a small smirk on his face. He looked over at me with his sunglasses still on his head.

"Wow. That's lovely to hear." I laughed.

Rooster chuckled. "Well it's either me and you or me and hangman."

"Oo, I wouldn't want hangman."

"That's what I'm saying." We both laughed at our combined distaste for Hangman being our partner.

"I thought we would be getting paired up with a Tandem team?" I questioned.

"There's not enough. We have 4 single cab pilots and only two tandems." Bradley explained.

"Huh. I guess I never though too hard about it." There was a small amount of silence between us while the radio played softly.

"Are you scared?" Rooster asked me. I thought about my answer for a second. This past week has felt like being back in flight school and training. I hardly noticed the overcasting cloud of death that has been there the whole time.

"Are you?" I shot the question right back at him.

"I'm always nervous. This mission seems more dangerous than the last. Maverick and I should have died on that one. That feeling is always with me now every time I step into a plane."

I frowned and reached over to his hand that was on the stick. He lifted his hand up so I could lace my fingers in between his before he put it back down on the shifter. "Don't worry. If you're flying with me you'll have no problem." I attempted to make a lighthearted joke.

Rooster shook his head and laughed. "Your cockiness is very reassuring."

45 minutes felt like 5 with all the laughing, talking and singing Rooster and I did. I was impressed by his singing voice, it made me wonder if he ever took lessons.

He put the car in park and then turned the key off. I reached for the door handle and popped it open. I'm a flash I felt something heavy lean against me and an arm was extended out. Rooster took my door and slammed it back shut. This caught me by surprise. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked, pushing himself off the console area and opening his own door.

I smiled at his gentlemanly gesture and watched him walk around. Rooster got to my side of the car and opened the door for me. He held his hand out for me to grab for stability. I gratefully took it, now being able to step out of the car. We approached the doors to the restaurant. It was made of dark wood with neon signs illuminating the dusty atmosphere. He had to have taken us to some sort of steakhouse because that's the only thing I could smell.

Rooster opened the door for me and I stepped into the restaurant. It has a similar feel to a Texas Roadhouse. Everything was made from wood. The booth seats were red cushioned and lined the back wall. There were more tables scattered in the middle and a horseshoe shaped bar off to the right with barstools all around it that looked like they were made from old saddles.

While I was absorbing the room around me. rooster had gone to the hostess table.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The young woman with red hair asked him.

"I had a reservation, under Bradshaw?"

The woman looked at her tablet and then back up at us. "Y/n?" She asked.

"That's uses." Rooster responded.

The woman smiled. "Perfect! Your table is ready. you can follow me." As we followed the waitress to our table I forcefully elbowed Rooster in the gut. "Hey!" He whispered in defense. "Y/n Bradshaw, really?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

She led us around to the back of the restaurant in a window-lit corner booth. We both sat down as we were given menus and drink orders.

"Is it weird when people don't use your callsign?" I asked him. Rooster nodded.

"If I've been at base and then leave it can take some getting used to. Although, it is my name so I better get used to it. Is it weird for you?"

I nodded my head. "My whole life people have called me Wolf. My mom, step dad, even in middle school and high school I had the nickname wolf. It was weird to hear the hostess say my real name."

Rooster showed his interest by leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table. "So how'd you come up with Wolf?"

"How did you come up with rooster?" I countered his question. He seemed to get a little grumpy at me mentioning it. "I didn't." He grumbled.

"Neither did I. It was actually Iceman who named me. Him and my mom stayed close after she left."

"Why?"

I groaned a little at this embarrassing story of mine. "Well when I was little I carried a wolf stuffed animal around everywhere. The first time I let go of it was when Ice took me out to see the planes."

"Wow. That's a pretty legendary way to earn your name." Rooster chuckled and took his drink from the waitress as she came over.

"We're you and ice close?" he asked.

"Pretty close. We kept in touch regularly. It crushed me not to be able to go to his funeral." Nice job, sending the conversation to a dark hole right away.

"Why couldn't you?"

"I was overseas. I was actually in the air when it happened."

"I'm sorry you had to miss it." Rooster sympathized with me. "It was a beautiful service."

Our food order had been taken by the waitress. I got a simple dinner salad as an appetizer and a steak with a side of mashed potatoes. Rooster ordered an appetizer of fried pickles and a burger that looked too large to fit into his mouth.

Being in the same field we skipped all the painstakingly annoying first date questions of occupation. If anything we wanted to avoid questions of occupation since that was all we were doing with the mission coming up.

We talked about simple things. Favorite foods, favorite toys growing up, favorite memories. The favorite memories led us down a rabbit hole of discussing parents. We both quickly found out shared enthusiasm for our parents. Rooster talked about loving his dad, even at only 4 he could remember everything.

"My parents had this playful conversation with each other that they would say all the time whether they were dancing in the kitchen or my dad was playing the piano, my mom would say; 'Goose you big stud!' And then my dad said 'yes dear?'"

Roosters impressions of his mother and father made a hard laugh rise from the pit of my stomach, one that made your abs sore. He continued with the exaggerated voices to clarify who was speaking.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever!"

"Show me the way home honey!"

After that we both fell into a fit of hardy laughter. "Wow." I marveled. "That's adorable."

"I know. I loved every second of it." Rooster sighed, wiping a laughter induced tear away from his eye. "God, they were so in love with each other."

The look of reminiscing on his face made me smile. He looked so comforted by the memory of his parents. This only lasted for a moment before rooster patted his hands on the table.

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm finished eating. How about dessert?" His actions were strange as I watched him pick up his plastic, red coke cup and pour the ice out into my glass.

"What dessert... wait what are you doing?" I asked.

Rooster smirked at me and leaned across the table to whisper; "I'm going to pretend to propose to you so we can get free dessert. Don't worry I've seen it happen multiple times."

I felt a pit in my stomach drop and all the color run out of my face. "Bradley Bradshaw. Stop it."

"Just play along." And without missing a beat, he elbowed the red cup off the table and sent it flying onto the wooden floor. The cup made a loud noise as it bounded around.

"Oh my god I am so sorry, such a klutz! Let me get that." He announced very loudly, gaining the attention of all the surrounding tables. Rooster got down onto the floor on one knee and pulled out a small ring shaped object out of his pocket. A couple of the tables closest to us gasped in surprise.

I covered my mouth in shock and stared down into roosters hazel eyes.  "This is not happening right now." I muttered behind my hands.

"Would you make me the happiest man ever and be my wife?"

My eyes scanned the room, the entire attention was on rooster and I in the corner of the restaurant. I looked down at him and saw him wink at me.

I stuttered on my words, completely and mortally embarrassed right now. "Yes, yes of course!"

The entire restaurant erupted into cheers and applause. Rooster pushed off his knee and grabbed my face with one hand. He planted a long and hard kiss against my lips which I reciprocated. We separated with big smiles on our faces. He took the small ring and slipped it on my finger. It was gray, squishy, and made of rubber.

Rooster rotated back to his side of the booth and kept smiling at me. "What do you think?"

I looked at the grey band on my finger. "It's good. Great even."

"Perfect. It was $2."

We both chuckled at Roosters comment when the announcement of a waiter arriving at our table halted our conversation. He set down brownie skillet with melting vanilla ice cream on top. "Congratulations you two. And just to let you know that couple over there told me to tell you they took care of your bill."

I turned around and saw an older couple, maybe Maverick and penny's age, looking at us from their booth. They both waved kindly, the wife more enthusiastic than the husband.

I turned around and looked at Rooster in shock. "Oh god."

"Shit." Rooster cursed and covered his mouth.

"We should probably go say thank you, right?"

"Right, yep. Let's go." Rooster said quickly, pushing himself up from his seat. We walked over to the couple. Rooster grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Hey guys," Rooster started, "that really wasn't necessary but we greatly appreciate it. Thank you."

The wife, (who had one too many drinks) waved her hands dismissively at us. "Oh no, we absolutely had to! It's our wedding anniversary today and with you two getting engaged and all, well it just felt like the universe had come full circle on us. We had to!"

I smiled at the drunken woman's high pitched story. "Oh wow! What a coincidence." I said flatly as I looked up at Rooster. He smiled down at me and wrapped an arm Around my shoulders that brought me closer to him.

"How lucky are we, sunshine?" Rooster milked the performance. Though I know it was all a front, I still felt myself blushing and smiling at the nickname he called me.

"Look at you! Oh you two are so in love. Show me the ring dear." I shyly held out my hand and she grabbed it, looking confused at the rubber band around my finger.

"Oh we're uh, in the military." Rooster chimed in.

"Oh wow." The wife whispered.

"Both of you? Wow. Thank you for your service." The husband chimed in and shook both of our hands. "Thank you. We decided to hold off on a real ring." I said kindly to them.

"Well, we should get going. Again, thank you guys. Tell your waiter to send the dessert over here."

Rooster had grabbed me by the forearm and started walking away with me while I was waving at the couple. "Congratulations!" They called to us as we made our escape.

Rooster and I doubled over in laugher as soon as we got into the parking lot. "I was not expecting that to happen." Rooster huffed out in between fits of laughter.

"I have never been more embarrassed in my life. I hate you, Rooster!" This made Rooster laugh harder as he gripped onto the side of his car to support himself.

"This is perfect." He gathered his composure to say. "Now that whole restaurant thinks we're engaged and that couple will be expecting wedding invitations, you can't possibly say no to a second date."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Come on y/n, remember what that woman said? The whole universe has come full circle on us." Rooster grabbed my hands in his own and looked into my eyes endearingly. I looked back up at him with a warm smile on my face.

"Please?" He whispered quietly.

"Alright, fine. Yes!"

Rooster pumped his fist in victory which made me giggle. "I told you that you wouldn't be able to say no." He teased me as he opened the door and I climbed into the bronco.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." I said dismissively. Bradley shut the door, but not before leaning over the opened window to plant a kiss on my cheek.

As he was walking around the car I felt my phone buzz, I checked to see who it was.

I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion at the message. Once Rooster was in the drivers seat I showed him the message on my phone. He looked at it for a while, his expression not changing. It looked like he was frozen in time. Until he wasn't.

"Do you want to get drunk tonight?" He asked.

At first I was surprised by the question, then a smirk rose across my face. "Hell yeah."

"Last night of freedom?"

"Last night of freedom."

Next Chapter

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Evocations: XIV (c)

Olivia wasn't about to let the hospital call Alex's parents before she did, so she lied, told the doctor that she would have to retrieve their contact information. Still numb, she found an indoor courtyard that was walled almost completely with glass. It was cool inside, and she could hear the faint trickle of a fountain.

With shaking fingers, she dialled Darcie's number. The older woman, who still had a protective detail of her own, picked up after a single ring.

"Olivia? What is it?"

The sting of pain in her throat, and her eyes was enough to make the stone-tiled floor swim beneath her. She swallowed, then choked only, "Darcie . . ."

But Alexander's mother already knew. The sound of Olivia's voice, the hour of the phone call. "Alexander!" she shrieked in desperation for her husband.

Olivia told them weakly to be on the next flight to the city. After that, Darcie began to scream.

The faintest streaks of dawn light were bleeding into the sky by the time Elliot convinced Liv to let him drive her home. He swept her place, spoke with the detail set up in the hall, then offered to stay with her a while longer if she wanted. She sent him away, wanting only silence.

After locking the door behind him, Liv turned to the apartment, which suddenly seemed ridiculously large for one person, and empty of everything that had made it comforting. In her hands was the jacket that Alex had been holding over her shoulder when . . . when it happened.

Her eyes welled with fresh tears as she stroked the material between her fingers, trying to find some reality in what was happening. Walking slowly, as if her feet pushing air was enough to hold her down, Liv coasted to the kitchen, managed to pour herself a glass of wine, and slid onto a stool at the island, unclipping her holster to lay her gun alongside the wine bottle.

As she sipped her wine, the jacket lay across her thighs, and Olivia smoothed her hands over and over it. After a few more sips, she picked the coat up and brought it to her face, burying her face. A body-shaking sob rose from her chest and poured out of her as Liv breathed deep of Alexandra's soothing scent.

The sobs continued their painful, air-stealing march from her, as she let grief rip her heart in two, until she was gasping to get her lungs to refill, her cries coming out soundlessly. Olivia hugged the jacket against her body, begging to be allowed to crawl into the grave with Alexandra.

This was when she felt something in one of the pockets. It startled her enough to cause her sobbing to relent suddenly, stuttering to a pause as she sniffed hard, looking down dumbly as if she couldn't remember how pockets worked. Long minutes crawled by, until finally Liv worked her hand inside, closing around the item and pulling it out.

When she registered what it was, sitting there in her palm, small and square and much too real - unlike the rest of the night - her heart began to pound.

No, she thought. No, please. Though she didn't know who she was pleading with.

Olivia's breathing was shallow as she opened the velvet box, to reveal the magnificent rose gold ring inside. A noise that defied description left her then, and she placed the open box on the kitchen island as though what had just been revealed was from the climax of a horror film - an eyeball perhaps, or an ear cut from a story's protagonist.

Before her on the counter from left to right, there sat the bottle of red wine, the open ring box, the half-glass of wine, and her gun snug in its holster. Liv sat, unblinking, her brown eyes fixed on the ring.

Suddenly her hand was on her gun, fingertips pressed hard into the cold, familiar steel. Could a heart pound and time slow simultaneously? Olivia's shock-addled mind was nowhere and everywhere at once. Was she trying to ground herself? Shoot herself? If asked, she couldn't have said for sure.

Then she was plucking the ring from the box, and she pushed it slowly onto her finger, admiring its understated elegance. She thought about the dinner Alex had planned, about the way the blonde had looked at her the other night while she had been trying out the new dress.

Her eyes filled up again, and she stood up abruptly, Alex's jacket pooling to the kitchen floor in a whisper. Liv tried to imagine Alexandra on one knee, tried to imagine her eyes when she said yes. The hollow that grief had carved out inside of her was like a crack in a house, letting in cold wind.

The hand wearing the ring pulled her gun from its holster, her palms cold sweating onto the steel, the other onto the marble counter. All of a sudden, the ticking of the kitchen clock was cacophonous.

Then Olivia blinked and her lungs filled again, as though someone had released a pull-string at her back. She released her clutch on her gun, then removed the ring from her finger, placing it back in the box and closing it up matter-of-factly. As fresh tears began to fall, she picked up the wine glass, still half full, and threw it with a grunting shriek across the room. It hit the backsplash to the left of the sink, shattering into shards of glinting glass and streaking red everywhere. Sky High jumped up from where she had been dozing at Olivia's feet and yelped.

Just like Alex's blood, she thought.

Picking up the bottle, she bent to retrieve Alexandra's jacket, then turned to move into the living room. In just a few hours, Darcie and Alexander would land in New York, and they would want answers.

.

.

The fact that became startlingly clear once the elder Cabots arrived, was that young lawyers are much less prepared for death than young cops.

Olivia's legal Will was on file, tucked neatly away in a filing cabinet in the unseen heart of One Police Plaza. Earlier just that year, she had officially updated the paperwork to name Alexandra as her sole beneficiary in the event of her death. No such paperwork existed for Alex. The statuesque blonde had been brilliant, stubborn, and utterly defiant when it came to matters of danger or finality. The irony was lost on none of them.

Alexander made a valiant effort to convince Olivia to keep the apartment the two had shared, but she couldn't bring herself to agree to it. Once they travelled back home, she told them, she would take Sky to her old place and they were free to sell the empty place if they chose.

It was no surprise that Darcie participated little in the long list of things that needed to be done in New York. She moved like a ghost from room to room in the apartment, looking but not truly seeing. Alexander and Liv shouldered the responsibility of going through Alex's work desk, closets, bills, and other assets or responsibilities.

Enraged by the fact that Liv hadn't been allowed to see Alex before her body was taken away, he arranged for the majority of her financials to be put into Liv's name. He also agreed on splitting any sale of the apartment in half. They worked out the details of the funeral service with as much input from Darcie that they could wring from the medicated, shell-shocked woman.

On the third day, Olivia returned to work. Being with Elliot felt safe, and kept her mind on work. The mood in the bullpen, however, was no better than the apartment. They all knew the funeral was coming, and their faces were all roadmaps of grief, guilt, and anger.

It was very late when Liv let herself in to the guarded apartment that night. She'd assumed that Darcie and Al would both be asleep in the guest room. So when she rounded into the living room to find the older man sitting up in the armchair, Olivia jumped visibly and caught her breath.

"Sorry," she exhaled, "I thought you'd be asleep."

The tall man had a glass of scotch that he was holding with both hands, and only one lamp was on, throwing a circle of light over his midsection, where Sky High was curled on his lap.

"I've been having as much trouble sleeping as you have," he said quietly.

Liv had been napping fitfully, on the living room sofa, at intervals of about an hour or so, clutching Alexandra's jacket.

"Get yourself a drink, Olivia," Al said. "Sit with me."

She returned from the kitchen with a glass of wine. She sat silently across from him on the sofa and they eyed each other stoically over the rims of their beverage glasses with the weight of their pain. Olivia loved the man; she wondered if he blamed her.

"When my little girl was still a little girl," he spoke up abruptly, evenly, "she loved to tell me that she was going to do everything when she grew up. Like it was a job she could apply for: The Person Who Does Everything, instead of teacher or doctor. 'Daddy,' she would say, 'I'm going to do everything, at least once, you know!'"

Liv sipped her wine as he smiled softly. "So, she started right away. Anything she could try, Alexandra was first in line, clamoring for the opportunity. She danced ballet, took art classes, tried photography, broke and then showed horses, buddied up with chefs to learn from . . . and in school, anything she studied she aced.

"Math, Biology, Music, Physics - it didn't matter. Alex applied the same work ethic to them all equally, just because she loved learning new things. When she came home from university with her first girlfriend, I think Darcie and I wrote it off as just part of her mission to have every experience." He laughed at that, watching the light as it caught the amber glow of his scotch.

"Finally, of course, she settled on studying law. I think that surprised me the most, to be honest - that she went with something folks would have seen as obvious. But I don't think I ever thought of her as 'becoming' a lawyer. I just kept on thinking of her as Doing Everything. Her life was just the long act of trying everything on for size."

Alexander Cabot looked up and caught Olivia's exhausted, sad gaze. "Falling in love with you changed her, Olivia. Suddenly, 'everything' was somebody and not an unpinned location. She wasn't any less stubborn, or brave, of course," he chuckled, "but . . . she was satiated. Loving you was a triumph. I'm glad that she found that. It comforts me."

Olivia prayed that Al couldn't see the tears in her eyes across the shifting shadows of the room. She wanted so much to tell him about the ring box that was now buried in her underwear drawer, wanted to say, Look, look at what your daughter saw me worthy of.

But the words were tangled in her throat like knotted string, making her afraid that what came out wouldn't make sense.

When her glass was empty, she laid it on the side table and rose to her feet. As she passed the arm chair, Al took the hand that wasn't carrying his daughter's jacket. He squeezed it gently.

"This wasn't your fault, Olivia," his voice rumbled.

The funeral was in less than 36 hours.

.

.

Every motion in the office the day before the funeral felt like plodding through quicksand. The only one who even sounded right was Cragen, father to them all, trying to maintain some normalcy to keep things from sinking altogether.

"Well, isn't that nice." Cragen grimaced.

"What?" Munch asked.

"Rafael Zapata Gaviria was found dead in a holding cell awaiting a hearing. No witnesses," he announced.

"There goes Velez's extradition," Fin tagged on.

"I long for the days when the government would send in the Delta Force assassination squad," Munch shook his head.

Cragen approached Olivia and Elliot. "DEA Agent Hammond wants to see you guys tonight. There's the address." He passed along a piece of paper.

"What for?" Elliot asked him.

"Something about closin' out the case."

It was truly the middle of nowhere, and full dark when Olivia and Elliot pulled into the sandy dune lined with tangles of greenery. Crickets chirped wildly as they crossed to Hammond through the soft terrain.

"Nice location. Convenient," Elliot quipped.

"Sorry. Only way to do this."

"Do what?" Liv asked, noting the unusual amount of cars and agents.

"Wouldn't take no for an answer. Real pain in the ass, this one," Hammond griped.

The two detectives watched as a van door slid open, and a dead woman stepped into the moonlight. For one terrifying moment, Olivia thought she was dreaming, and that the fabric of the universe would threaten to yawn open and swallow her before she could hear Alex speak.

"I am so sorry about all of this," was what the blonde said. She was clearly exhausted, and a silk scarf hid the evidence of her gunshot wound.

Elliot gaped openly as tears filled his partner's eyes. "Your funeral's tomorrow," was what she managed to reply.

"And you're both expected to attend," Hammond cut in. "For the time being, Ms. Cabot's better off dead. If Velez can get to Zapata, he can get to her."

"Witness protection," Elliot guessed.

"Until Velez is extradited or otherwise dealt with."

No moment the agents could have granted them would have been enough to say all of the things that were screaming inside of Olivia like a siren gone awry. I love you - your parents are here - I found the ring - don't go again - I would've said yes - I'll die without you - thank God you're alive.

"How long?" she asked, stepping closer to Alexandra instinctually, her voice clotted with tears. Alex's eyes were also haunted, with wants, with questions, with guilt. She shrugged her shoulders sadly, not having an answer.

She wouldn't kiss her. Not there, not then. It wasn't a lack of want, but from knowing that if they touched each other, neither of them would let the other go again.

Static crackled over a radio, and a Marshall said, "We're on the move. Sorry, folks."

Another agent said, "Move them out," and Liv and Elliot watched as Alexandra stepped out of their lives again - this time, much more quietly.

When the vehicles had all followed behind, leaving just the two detectives in the cold October night, Olivia let out the sob she had been choking back. When Elliot reached out a hand, she stumbled away from the gesture, hunching over the curb and dry heaving above the grass as wave after wave of nausea knotted her stomach.

Elliot rubbed her back carefully, as though soothing one of his daughters, and waited until she was ready to stand up. When she at last met his gaze, she was wondering how she could go home to Darcie and Alexander and pretend their only child was still dead. How would she go on doing anything, when her entire life had winked out like the sudden last gasp of a dying star?

El smiled sadly, threw an arm around her shoulder, and herded her towards their sedan. For now, nobody had answers, just a trail of destruction and change left behind in the New York Autumn.

[lucrezia-thoughts]

Comfortable

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Female Reader

Warning(s): sweet Marcus, Disney World, references no one asked for...

Summary: You'd been shocked, to say the least, when Marcus's birthday present for you was a trip to Disney World...

Link to Master List

You'd been shocked, to say the least, when Marcus's birthday present for you was a trip to Disney World. You'd tried to tell him it was too much, but he'd shaken his head and grinned.

"I want my brave girl to meet the brave girl," he'd insisted and taken your hand in his to press a kiss to the back of it. So, despite a fair few attempts to change his mind until he told you the trip was non-refundable, a month later you found yourself stepping inside the one bedroom villa you'd be spending the next week in.

You froze in the doorway to the bedroom when you'd seen the singular bed, but Marcus had gently taken your hand in his. "This is your room, honey. There's a pull-out couch in the other room that I'm going to sleep on." You turned to object, but he was already out the door to go grab your luggage.

He'd woken you up early the next morning to visit the Magic Kingdom and had surprised you with Merida inspired ears to wear. You'd smiled brightly at him and tugged him in to the nearest store to buy him something to wear. Searching the racks, you'd smiled when you found the perfect thing.

Telling him to stay put, you'd quickly purchased the hat and told him to hold out his hands and close his eyes. Marcus chuckled, but indulged you. Placing the Mandalorian hat in his hands, you told him to open his eyes and beamed when he grinned down at the hat.

"Honey..." he'd laughed and put on the hat, "I still don't see how you think I look like him."

"Marcus, just accept that you do! This is the way!" you'd teased.

You doubled over in hysterical giggles when he put on a mock frown and lowered his voice to say, "This is the Way."

When you'd finally gotten the giggles under control, you'd taken Marcus's hand in yours and lead him out of the store. Since you'd been ahead of him, you hadn't seen his grin at the unsolicited affection you'd just given him.

After going on a few rides, he'd insisted it was time to go see Merida and he'd made sure to film the whole interaction. He'd told the princess that you were like her and had smiled when she'd fawned over your ears and pulled you close for a hug. Once your picture was taken with the princess, you'd walked back over to him and hugged him tightly.

Throughout the rest of the day, you'd kept your hand in Marcus's whenever possible. Though he'd tried to hide it, you saw his grimace towards the end of the day and knew his back was hurting him. After a little searching, you'd managed to find a spot near Main Street to sit and watch the fireworks. He'd given you a grateful smile and you'd leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips.

When you got back to the villa, you'd convinced him to watch a movie with you in your room. So, after you'd both changed into your sleep wear, he'd joined you on the bed as you searched for a movie to watch.

Deciding on Mulan, you'd turned to check with Marcus and smiled at what you saw. He was laying back against the pillows, hands behind his head, and was dead to the world asleep. Turning off the TV, you crawled over to him and snuggled up next to him, completely comfortable to sleep next to this incredible man in the most magical place on Earth...

~~~~

A/N: As always, comments and feedback are love!! Oh, and please let me know if you want to be tagged on updates!

TAG LIST: @prideandpascal   @paintballkid711   @artsymaddie   @computeringturtle   @northernpunk  @giizhkens-cedar @evelynseventyr @sleep-tight1

[yetanotherreader]

One Day

Fic Type: Stand-alone/One-Shot

Genre: Drama (Heavy Angst)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N

Characters: Dean Winchester, Y/N Y/L/N, Sam Winchester, Joseph Hughes (OC)

Word Count: 3,032.

Warnings: Angst, Depression, Anxiety, Marital Abuse, Mentions of marital rape, abusive marriage, physical violence.

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS AND DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU.

Mobile app doesn't support the cut, so pardon for the no read more thingy.

A/N: Hey guys. I know I went on this little(big) break and I haven't updated useful in a while. I'm going through a writer's block again, trying to write and stopping after a while. and I have so many college projects to do during quarantine. I hope y'all are keeping safe. I wrote this one shot in hopes of getting back at writing. Woke up all night writing this, so I really hope you all will like it. But again, since I woke up the night writing this, it may or may not be up to your expectations. Please heed the warning above, girls. I really do not want any of you going through more stress during these stressful times.

Also, I used the same tag list as Useful in this one too. I don't know if everyone of you will like to be added to any of my other works so let me know if you want your name removed or added. :)

-------

His eyes were locked on the big gates of the hall, both waiting for and dreading the moment that particular person entered who he'd been missing for months. He gave a once over to the venue. This place was gorgeous, a palace in fact. A big chandelier graced the double ceiling and there was a colorful fountain in the garden outside. The lights were the right amount of bright and the drinks tasted just about perfect. Even the waiters wore their uniforms more expensive than his suit. It was something Dean had always seen in those Disney movies which, don't tell anyone, were his guilty pleasure.

He and Sam had come here for a case—the only reason that gave them the privilege to get into a place like this one. People have reported weird occurrences happening around here, followed by the abduction of everyone who saw it. Turned out, it was a serial killer and the police had taken care of it even before they reached.

Something about that place, though, made him want to stay. For some reason, he didn't make a U-turn and go back. Maybe it was the fact that it was the annual ball of the city where only the rich and reputed were invited, that he wanted to feel reputed for once, or that here he would see someone he hadn't seen in a while, someone he missed everyday he lived. He knew it would shatter his heart when he saw her, but he was willing to take a heartbreak if it meant seeing her once. Sam didn't say a word against it, but Dean knew better than to think he was okay with him going through all that torture.

Just when his eyes reached back to the doors, he saw, once again, the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. The woman who made his heart flutter and break at the same time, the woman he loved the most. She was dressed in rose gold, the drape hugging her curves as perfectly as he remembered. Her hair was up in a messy bun, which only she could pull off that good, with few softly curled strands coming out to shape her face. Her lips were colored wine red, as tempting as ever, and her face was covered in a darker make up than he ever remembered her wear. In a better shape than when he last saw her, her posture screamed royalty. She looked breathtakingly gorgeous. The only thing was, she wasn't herself. Or at least, her old self. Does time change people that much? It took him all his power to remove his gaze from her, her arm entangled with the other man's, helped. 

She wasn't his to call anymore, she never was. Maybe the only woman who he liked but never kissed, the only woman who made him go all hot and bothered but he never dared touch her the way he desired. The only woman he loved enough to not make a move. He knew his feelings were mutual, he saw it in her eyes when they sat on the hood of the impala, chatting through the sleepless nights. He saw it every time she laughed at his piss poor jokes or narrowed her eyes at the women who flirted with him. He saw it when she cried for the first time in front of him and yelled at him because she thought he got himself killed. He saw it when he felt her heart accelerate everytime they hugged, like his own, and when she refused to leave him in the worst. He saw it when he saw her build walls to hide her broken heart after he asked her to leave. He saw it in her indifferent expression and a lone tear escaping her eyes when he told her he'd be better off without her.

And boy did he regret every word he said. He called her as soon as he realized what he did. That in order to save her, he might have just given her the biggest of the insecurities. It was a month later that it happened. He apologized to her, told her he never meant whatever he said, tried to explain why he did what he did. And she forgave. He couldn't believe his ears when he heard her say those words, he wanted her to yell at him, hate him, punish him for what he did but she said nothing more than a 'It's okay, I understand.'. And maybe that one sentence hurt him as much as he hurt her. She didn't even think of him good enough to be mad at. She shouldn't have understood, she should have argued. He might have lost the best thing that ever happened to him like that. And his fear proved right when he saw her photo in the newspaper, two months later, with a man. Joseph Hughes, a big name, apparently. The man he ran into, not so long ago, in missouri.

"Mr. Winchester." He heard the deep, masculine voice as it approached him, "Didn't know we'll meet again so soon."

If running into that man earlier made his heart heavy, meeting him with his arm around Y/N's waist made it fall down with a thud, "Mr and...Mrs Hughes. Fancy seeing you here, too."  He shook his hand with a firm shake, forwarding it toward the man's wife to do a similar action. Instead, she folded her hand in a namastey greeting, as she looked at him shocked, and scared. Maybe she didn't want her husband to know about him.

"I would ask how did you know she was my wife, but I guess you read newspapers." The man said in his smooth accent with a laugh, which Dean returned halfheartedly.

"Got that one right," he smiled at Hughes, his eyes lingering a little longer on Y/N, "Your wife is beautiful."

At the comment he saw her husband's hold tighten around her in sudden possessiveness, his fingers almost digging into her flesh as she flinched a little. He tore his gaze away from her, reminding himself she was someone else's wife and he had no right to be staring at her. But something about this whole situation felt wrong, that touch felt wrong.

She didn't look at him once after that. The tension in the air suffocated them both, and he was sure the shorter man in front of him felt it too, "Let's get you meet some of my friends, darlin'. If you could excuse us?"

Dean gave them the way, as he contemplated whether his decision of staying was even right. It crushed his heart seeing the woman he loved in someone else's arms. He felt like throwing up. Seven months ago, he couldn't have thought there'd be a day like this. He hated himself for that.

"Dean, do you want to go?" Sam's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"N-no," He cleared his throat when his voice came out rough and hoarse, "No, I guess I'll just go to the washroom. Go find some hot chick for me " he winked at Sam, who clearly saw right through it but didn't say anything. He stayed in the bathroom for a while, to calm his aching heart. People knew Dean as a man, as strong as an alpha, but here he was, falling weak. 

After splashing water on his face a few times, he got out of the bathroom just to see people frozen in their spots. His eyes went to his brother, immediately worried about his safety only to find him silently, but furiously glaring something, his hands were fisted like a beast about to attack its prey. When he followed his line of sight, he felt something similar inside of him. There stood Joseph Hughes towering his wife, glaring her down and his nails digging into her, now pale, arms, "I said, Tell. Me. The. Truth."

"I told you. He w-was a f-friend." Dean heard her voice for the first time in a long while, and his chest hurt at how small and scared it was. Y/N wasn't a hunter but she was fearless and brave. She had put her life on her palms so many times to save him and Sam without hesitating. That was one of the reasons he pushed her away, but here seeing her so helpless and terrified, he didn't know how to react.

"A friend, huh? A friend shouldn't look at you like that." His voice came out in a growl, audible in the pin drop silence, that sent visible shivers running down her spine, "That's why I don't leave you around men, you pathetic whore. I'm done being okay with you slutting around-"

Dean charged forward, enraged at the man's audacity to even let those words out of his mouth, but before he even took two steps, Y/N pushed that douche with enough force to make him stumble, pausing Dean mid-walk.

"You're done being oka-I AM DONE BEING OKAY!" Y/N raised her voice, violently shaking out of fear and rage. Joseph looked shocked, as if he never expected her to speak like that, as if she never spoke to him like that. The thought alone made Dean's eyes tear up, what had that monster done to her, "I am done being okay with the things I'm not okay with! I am done being okay with you touching me without my consent and I'm done being okay with getting slapped everytime I say no! I am done being okay with you locking me in and I am done being okay with you hitting me with whatever you find! I AM DONE WITH YOU!" She broke down into tears as she was done with her little speech.

"You are saying this here on purpose. You want me to lose my reputation." He said low, his eyes trying to scare her down.

"Y-yes, I'm saying this here on purpose because if I said it at home, you'd beat me to a pulp." She said, trying to sound low, but the eerie silence in the room making her damn well audible to his ears. Dean saw nothing but hot, white rage. Seeing Y/N so scared, so broken, Dean wanted nothing more than to break the bastard's bones, every single one of them. And when Hughes charged at Y/N, he lost whatever little control he had on himself jumping at the said man. Sam, immediately, went to Y/N's side as she hid in his chest, shaking like a dry leaf. Sam had never seen her so scared and so vulnerable. He felt a sharp pain in his heart seeing the sight of his best friend so broken, as he tightened his hold on her. Dean kept on hitting the man, like an animal that got out of its cage. His knuckles were bloodied, with which he didn't know was his blood or the other one's but he wasn't stopping. After what felt like forever, Dean was stopped by two strong arms around his own, from behind.

"Dean, stop. You'll kill him." Sam's calming voice fell into his ears, "stop"

It took Dean a while to register, as he tried to release his hands from his brother's still kicking the battered man that lied in front of him, "I don't care."

"Y/N wouldn't want you to kill him, Dean." And at that, he stopped. Y/N. Where was she? He stood up and searched for her, seeing her frozen at the same spot as earlier, zoned out and shaking violently. His heart hurt so bad seeing her like that, he couldn't stop tears from welling in his eyes.

"Y/N," he whispered as he took a few long strides to reach her and pull her into a careful hug.

She went stiff under his touch, as he loosened his hold on her, scared he might scare her before he heard her, barely, speak out, "Dean.." as she clinged to him for dear life. Hearing her say his name again wasn't as pleasant as he'd imagined a million times before, rather it was gut-wrenching. It was painful, because this was the last thing he had imagined that made her say his name. He wrapped his arms around her fully and spoke comforting words to soothe her.

"Let's go home, Y/N."

It had been a week she returned to the bunker, moving into her old room. Hughes was arrested, and divorce agreements were signed. He got to know that the thing between Y/N and Joseph was more of a business arrangement than a marriage proposed by her father, who had no idea about his son-in-law's abusive habits. Sam and Dean kept a positive atmosphere around the bunker, not going out for any cases, but there was no change in Y/N. She, mostly, kept herself locked up in her room, not talking to anyone. They thought it was necessary to give her her space but that was just deteriorating her health more. She ate too little for survival.

Dean stepped into her room with the plate of her favourite food. She loved it when he cooked for her, he just hoped to God, she still would. His eyes fell on her form, lying down on the floor, her back resting by the bed. She looked into a distance, zeroing her vision. As he went and sat beside her, keeping the plate on the floor, she spoke up, "He'll come back for me, Dean. He'll take me and he-"

"He won't," Dean cupped her cheeks and made her look at him as he met with the broken sight. Her eyes had sunken in, dark circles forming around them, face paler and her natural blush around her cheeks gone, "I promise I will not let anything happen to you."

She looked at him like she wanted to believe, but a sudden wave of anxiety stopped her, "No..no no no no, Dean! You don't understand! He..he will come back and he won't leave me. He'll beat me and...and those chains. He'll tie me up again and he'll...he'll-

She stopped mid-sentence, a horror coating her features. This new piece of information startled Dean, breaking his heart into two..enraging him, too. He didn't know how to react to it, so he did what his impulse told him to, he hugged her tight, hiding his face in her hair. More than comforting her, it was for himself. He wanted her close and safe, "He used knives, Dean. He said he loved seeing me bleed..it was so painful" Dean shut his eyes tight, trying to push away the horrifying images from his head, as he let the tears flow free. What all she had endured because of his one mistake. She sniffled as she continued in a small voice, "you won't be able to do anything, Dean. He's very powerful. You can save me from monsters, you can kill them..but him-"

"I'll kill him if he laid his finger on you ever again." Dean spoke with determination.

"N-no...No, Dean. You won't kill him. Don't kill him please, don't be like him." She shook her head violently in his chest, "not like him..no, no, no.."

"Hey, hey," he soothed her rubbing a hand on her back, "I won't. I won't be like him, okay? Shh.." It took Y/N a few minutes to calm down, while he rocked her in his lap, "You hungry?"

She shook her head, mumbling into his chest "I never feel hungry."

He sighed, "Okay. Eat a little, with me? Please? Because I'm starving."

Her eyes sparkled a little when she saw the food, "You made it?" He smiled and nodded, proudly, "Can I..can I eat the whole thing?"

He chuckled, heartily, "madam, all yours." She smiled up at him, hesitantly. As if trying to remember how to smile, at which his eyes softened, "when did you eat this last?"

She dug into the food, liking the taste of it. The taste of home, "with you. He didn't let me eat this, wanted me to look good like his wife should." 

Dean clenched his jaw at this, wanting to practically undo that man's existence. The things he did to her, he was sure if he saw him someday, that'd be his last.

Y/N looked at him, a little scared and a little more sheepishly, "Can I get some more?" Dean smiled at her and got her some more. He looked at her eating, his eyes filled with unshed tears. She was so, so pure, only if he could take away all her pain, make her forget those dark months. Only if he could give her all the happiness in the world, because there was no one he knew who deserved it more than her.

Later that night, Dean asked Y/N if he could stay with her because his nightmares scared him. He knew she understood what he meant, and the fact that she didn't deny made his heart flutter. Y/N hadn't slept in days. Either she would wake up from a nightmare, yelling, or not sleep at all. He just wished she'd have a goodnight sleep in his arms, and she did. But he didn't miss what she said just before she fell into the slumber, something the Y/N he knew would never say. Something that hurt his heart and made him make a silent promise to her, and himself. 

"Dean, don't send me away ever again. Please."

Never. He would never let her out of his sight again. He'd save her from every monster, supernatural or not. He didn't know long will it take her to fall for him again, or if she'd ever fall for him again. All he knew was, he'd shower her with so much love, she would forget every pain that son of a bitch caused her. He'd love her so much that she'd start loving herself one day. He would hold her so dear, that her scars would stop scaring her.

One day. One day, he'll make everything okay.

------

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[cocastyle]

Change - Ch. 1 | S E V E N

Pairing - Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 4,475

A/N - it’s been a bit hasn’t it? I’m so sorry for the semi-long wait! it’s getting near the end of my basketball season so I’ve been busy with senior night (which went great but was very emotional) and trying to wrap the season up while also juggling the mounds of homework my teachers have thrown at me. anyways, here’s an update for you all! I really hope you like it! and for those reading Wonderwall (my Steve Harrington rewrite) I’m currently working on an update for that as well!

if you all would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

C H A N G E

Change Series Masterlist

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S E V E N -  Pictures

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Y/N was silent as she held onto her cousin's arm, standing close to him due to the bit of fear coursing through her body. Her eyes flickered over the missing poster in front of her, the name Edward Corcoran and the words 13 years old standing out almost as much as the thick bold letters spelling out missing.

Edward had been her age, a kid just like her and all of the other members of the Losers' Club. What had happened to him was still unknown, but Y/N couldn't stop thinking about that clown that not only her, but Bill, Beverly, Stan, and Eddie had seen as well.

"They say they found part of his hand all chewed up near the standpipe," Stan muttered as he shuffled awkwardly where he stood. His words made Y/N gulp and she gave him a questioning look as to why he would say something like that as she let go of his arm. Stan only gave her a look in response, confused by what she was doing.

"He asked to borrow a pencil once," Ben commented, and Y/N felt like she might be sick. Something about knowing that they had known Edward made the situation that much more real. After all he was a boy that had used to walk the same hallways as her cousin. He wasn't the first one to disappear like this and it didn't seem like he was going to be the last.

A commotion coming from the steeet caught Y/N's attention and she turned her head to lock eyes on Richie who was currently playing one of the band kid's instruments while the kid desperately tried to wrestle it out of his hands. The corners of her lips tugged up ever so slightly as she watched Richie, her eyes then flickering over the parade going by before a movement out of the corner of her eye had her turning back to the others.

Bill was walking towards the flyer and he hesitated before gently lifting the paper up to reveal another missing flyer for a girl named Betty Ripsom. Bill sighed before letting his eyes flicker over to his friends, his gaze instantly locking with Y/N's.

"It's like she's been f-f-forgotten because Corcoran's missing," Bill said, his words making Y/N frown slightly and look to her feet while Bill hung his head and put Edward's flyer back down.

"Is it ever gonna end?" Stan questioned.

"What the fuck, dude?" Richie's voice could be heard yelling out in frustration as the band kid tore his instrument away from the boy before running away.

"What are you guys talking about?" Eddie asked as he came up behind Y/N. The girl jumped in surprise and Eddie flashed her an apologetic look as he licked one of the ice cream cones in his hands.

"What they always talk about," Richie replied in annoyance as Eddie handed the boy the other ice cream cone.

"I actually think it will end, for a little while, at least," Ben told them.

"What do you mean?" Beverly asked, everyone's eyes now on the young boy.

"So I was going over all of my Derry research and I charted out all of the big events. The Ironworks explosion in 1908. The Bradley Gang in '35 and The Black Spot in '62. And now kids being. . ." Ben trailed off as his gaze fell on Bill. He quickly looked away and sighed as he said, "I realized this stuff seems to happen-"

"Every 27 years," Ben, Y/N, and Bill all uttered in unison, Y/N and Bill both making eye contact as those words left their mouths.

It was silent as the group stood there before Y/N shook her head and whispered out, "Shit." All eyes turned to the girl who put a hand to her head almost in pain before she turned and began to walk away, the action causing them all to look at her confused.

"Y/N?" Bill called out, his voice soft and filled with concern.

"I. . .I just need to sit down," Y/N replied with a wave of her hand as she walked down the street. The others all shared a look before quickly following after her, not wanting her to be alone.

Before long, the group had ended up sitting down at a park bench set up in the middle of town. Beverly, Stan, Mike, and Ben all sat on the green bench while Richie, Eddie, and Bill were seated on their bikes. As for Y/N, she was sitting on the ground by Bill's side.

She was resting her head against Bill's leg, something that hadn't gone unnoticed by Bill or Stan, and was pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to wrap her head around everything that she had been told over the past couple of days and everything that she had witnessed since she got here.

Derry was definitely a little stranger than the last time she had been there that was for sure.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. It comes out from wherever to eat kids for like a year and then what? It just goes into hibernation?" Eddie finally asked

"Maybe it's like. . .what do you call it? Cicadas. You know, the bugs that come out once every 17 years," Stan suggested while Y/N removed her hand to scrunch up her nose and look to her cousin.

"I don't think it's that," Y/N muttered with a shake of her head. Cicadas and kids going missing were not the same thing at all.

"My grandfather thinks this town is cursed. He says that all the bad things that happened in this town are because of one thing. An evil thing that feeds off the people of Derry," Mike explained.

Y/N's stomach grew queasy again and she let out a soft groan as she laid back against Bill's leg, the boy reaching down to brush some of the hair out of her face almost automatically before the two shared a small smile.

"But it can't be one thing. We all saw something different," Stan pointed out.

"Maybe. Or maybe It knows what scares us most and that's what we see," Mike suggested.

"But I don't. . .I don't fear my father," Y/N argued.

"Did he do or say something that scares you?" Mike asked, wondering if it wasn't Y/N's father that scared her but something else that he might've done or said.

Y/N's face fell at that and a flash of pain flickering across her face before she looked down, the sudden realization of what fear her father was supposed to represent hitting her harder than she had expected. For one of the things she feared most in the world was being the reason her parents split up and for being the reason her family wasn't a family anymore.

It didn't take much for the others to know that she had realized what her fear was, but Eddie knew she wouldn't want to talk about it and was quick to speak up, "I-I saw a leper. He was like a walking infection." Everyone's gaze turned to him and Y/N gave him a thankful smile which he returned.

"But you didn't. Because It isn't real. None of this is. Not Eddie's leper or Bill seeing Georgie or Y/N seeing her father or the woman I keep seeing," Stan insisted, the others all looking down as they tried to believe Stan's words. For it was better to think that they were all hallucinating than to know that something out there was changing into their worst fears.

"Is she hot?" Richie suddenly asked in pure curiosity that made Stan scrunch his nose up in disgust and glare at his friend.

"No, Richie. She's not hot. Her face is all messed up," Stan explained with a tad bit of aggression while Richie frowned. "None of this makes any sense. They're all like bad dreams."

"Nightmares," Y/N whispered, her face pale as she ran a hand through her hair. By now she was thinking of all of her fears and what It could do to her that she was more frightened now than she had been five minutes ago.

"I don't think so, I know the difference between a bad dream and real life, okay?" Mike told them, the seriousness in his voice making them fall quiet.

"What did you see? You saw something too?" Eddie asked.

"Yes," Mike muttered, his head falling as his eyes glazed over as if he were seeing the memory before his very eyes. "You guys know that burnt down house on Harris Avenue? I was inside when it burned down. Before I was rescued my mom and dad were trapped in the next room over from me. They were pushing and pounding on the door trying to get to me. But it was too hot. When the firefighters finally found them. . .the skin on their hands melted down to the bone."

A heavy silence fell among the group and Mike let his eyes flicker over each of them before firmly saying, "We're all afraid of something."

"Got that right," Richie said causing Y/N to look to him.

"What about you, Tozier? What are you afraid of?" Y/N asked, her voice soft as she looked to the boy. He glanced down at her for a second before sighing and looking back at the stage behind them which had a clown on stage.

"Clowns."

- - -

Bill let out a small sigh of frustration as he struggled to keep the blueprints on the wall from moving as he pinned them up. Before he could yell at one of his friends to help him, a small and gentle voice said, "Here, I'll help."

Bill didn't even have time to blink before Y/N was sliding up beside him to hold the paper up while he was able to pin the blueprint to the wall. Once it was secure, the two brought their arms down and looked to each other. "Thanks," Bill whispered before the two smiled softly at each other.

"Okay, lovebirds! If you aren't going to fucking kiss then sit down!" Richie exclaimed in slight amusement and annoyance, a few chuckles escaping his lips at the sight of Bill and Y/N blushing a deep red before they walked away from the blueprint.

Mike pulled the door to Bill's garage down while Eddie flipped on the projector that Bill had him set up. The Losers then all crowded around the projector while Bill put a slide in. Y/N and Bill locked eyes for a split second before Y/N quickly turned away and sat down beside Eddie on the floor, the boy sending a small smile in her direction which she quickly returned before they looked to the blueprints which had a projection of an old Derry map on top of it.

"Okay. Look. That's where G-G-Georgie disappeared. There's the Ironworks and the Black Spot. Everywhere It happens it's-it's all connected by the sewers and they all meet up at the-" Bill began as he pointed towards the spots marked on the map.

"The Well House," Ben said in surprise.

"Well House?" Y/N questioned, not knowing what they were talking about.

"That's the house on Neibolt Street," Stan explained, his voice shaking slightly as he spoke.

"You mean that creepy-ass house where all the junkies and hobos like to sleep?" Richie questioned while Eddie began to panic. The boy quickly pulled his inhaler out and took a hit before breathing heavily beside Y/N. The girl frowned and was quick to put a hand on Eddie's back, gently rubbing up and down his back in a comforting manner and helping the boy to calm down.

"I hate that place," Beverly admitted. "Always feels like it's watching me."

Eddie was finally able to calm down enough to sit back up straight and he leaned into Y/N's touch slightly, seeking the sisterly comfort she seemed to be giving him and that he used to receive from her when they were younger.

"That's where I saw It," Eddie told them. "That's where I saw the clown."

"Tha-tha-tha-that's where It lives," Bill concluded, the statement being enough to make Eddie use his inhaler once again.

"I can't imagine anything ever wanting to live there," Stan muttered.

"Guys," Y/N said in warning as she noticed Eddie's panicking state, but the boy was already jumping to his feet and turning to look at his friends.

"Can we stop talking about this?" Eddie asked. "I-I-I can barely breathe and-and-and Y/N's not even able to calm me down like she always does. It's summer. We're kids, I can barely breathe. I'm having a fucking asthma attack and fuck doing this!"

Eddie turned around and quickly grabbed ahold of the blueprint map that Bill and Y/N had just put up and ripped it off the wall. "What the hell! Put the map back!" Bill yelled while Eddie shook his head.

Y/N sighed and quickly got up from her spot before walking over to the boy. "Eds, it's okay," Y/N assured him while the boy watched her wearily.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! How come she gets to call you Eds without you biting her head off?" Richie complained.

"Because she's not an asshole like you!" Eddie exclaimed while Richie frowned and muttered something under his breath.

It was at that moment that the projector flickered on and off, the slide changing to a blank one and causing the group to look to Bill who was staring at the projector confused. The projector did the motion again and a picture of Georgie and Mr. Denbrough appeared in the place of the map. Although this time everyone had noticed that Bill hadn't been the one to change the slides.

"What happened?" Bill asked confused as the slides moved again, family pictures of the four Denbroughs appearing before them. "What's going on?"

Eddie slowly began to back away while Y/N merely looked at the pictures in confusion before looking back at Bill. "Bill, what's happening?" Y/N questioned.

"I don't know," Bill shook his head as Mike came over and tried to stop the projector only to find that he couldn't. His eyes then flickered up to the screen and he muttered, "Guys. . ."

Y/N turned back around and watched as pictures of Bill and Georgie appeared on the screen before there was another family picture of the Denbroughs. Although this time it began to zoom in on Georgie in the picture with each click of the projector.

"Georgie," Bill muttered before the projector began to move faster.

"Uh. . .Y/N," Stan said in a panicked voice as he noticed that his cousin was still so far away from him.

However, everyone fell silent and seemed to become mesmerized as they watched the picture suddenly shift view over to Mrs. Denbrough. For a moment it seemed as if her hair was moving with each click of the projector and it didn't take Y/N or the others long to realize that it was moving with each click.

The hair quickly covered his mother's face before slowly starting to move away. With each click, the new face began to be revealed and Y/N felt her breath hitch in her throat once she realized the clown was suddenly coming into view.

It was like she was frozen in terror, the only thing registering in her head was her friends yelling out as they desperately tried to stop the projector.

"What the fuck?"

"It's It!"

"What the fuck is that?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Turn it off!"

"Yes, turn it off!"

Mike was the one to react and he quickly kicked the stand the projector was on, sending the projector tumbling to the ground. The picture appeared again only the clown was now gone and all that was left was the empty background of the picture.

Y/N was breathing heavily as she finally blinked out of whatever trance she had been in. Her body was shaking as she looked back at the others with wide eyes only to find them all looking behind her with wide eyes before Bill looked to Y/N in fright and yelled out, "Y/N, get away!"

Y/N felt her whole body tense at that and for some stupid and unknown reason she decided to turn around only to find that there was nothing there. Her shoulders relaxed slightly and she went to turn back at her friends only for the clown suddenly to appear out of no where, it's body now ten times bigger and crawling out of the projected image.

A scream fell from Y/N's lips as the clown turned to look at her and she heard Stan cry out her name among the scream of the others. That was enough to have her moving and Y/N tried to scramble away only for something to grab onto her leg.

Y/N quickly slammed into the ground and turned only to find that It had ahold of her leg. Another scream left her lips and tears were filling her eyes by now as she felt an immense pain in her leg.

It let go of her for a split second and Y/N tried to crawl away as best as she could while It just watched her in amusement. She didn't know what her cousin or her friends were doing at that moment, but for a split second she thought that they had left her and that she was going to die.

Y/N was crying as she crawled across the floor only to get trapped in the corner of the garage while It stared directly at her, his hand outstretched in her direction as he went to grab for her.

"Y/N!" Bill's voice yelled out before he was suddenly grabbing onto the garage door and flinging it up, allowing the light to pour into the garage. The clown disappeared almost immediately and the last thing to be heard was an ear piercing scream from Y/N as she huddled more into herself in the corner of Bill's garage.

Once nothing came for her, Y/N allowed her eyes to flicker open only to find the garage was now empty. This alone was enough to make her break down and Y/N began to sob as she hugged her knees close to her body, the others all standing there breathing heavily as they tried to process what had just happened.

Bill was the only one unfazed and shoved past Stan who was staring at his cousin with wide eyes, a look of pure horror on his face as he had almost seen his best friend die before his very eyes and hadn't been able to do anything about it.

Bill was in front of Y/N in seconds and the girl didn't even hesitate before lunging forward and into Bill's arms, the boy holding her tight while she cried into his shirt. He tucked her head under his chin and cradled the back of her head against his chest as he gently rocked her back and forth, whispering softly to her that she was okay while she cried in his arms.

"It saw us," Eddie whispered once Y/N's cries has quieted. She was still holding onto Bill tightly, the boy having not loosened his grip at all either, but the two turned their gazes to Eddie who was gripping onto his inhaler. "It saw us and It knows where we are."

"It always knew," Bill muttered, those words making Y/N quiet once again. Bill looked down at the girl and his mind was instantly made up on what had to happen next. He gave the girl one last squeeze and even kissed the top of her head before reluctantly pulling away from her, ignoring the heartbroken look in her eyes as she desperately tried to keep hold of him.

Bill stood up and glanced at Stan who took the hint and rushed over to his cousin before helping her up onto her feet. Bill was just about to walk out when he heard a hiss from behind him that had the boy turning around to see Y/N turn her leg for them all to see. He, along with all the others, paled at the sight of two long scratches down the back of her leg, blood rolling down her leg and making Eddie stumble back slightly from the sight.

"Shit," Richie muttered, his eyes filling with concern as he looked at Y/N and gulped.

Y/N's injury only seemed to fuel Bill's rage and he shook his head before storming out of the garage with a new purpose. "Let's go," Bill demanded.

"Go? Go where?" Beverly asked.

"Neibolt," Bill explained and, not wanting to admit his feelings for Y/N and how desperately he wanted to kill that clown for harming her or his brother, added, "That's where G-G-Georgie is."

"After that?" Stan asked appalled as he held his cousin up steady beside him. "After Y/N just got hurt?"

"Yeah, Y/N's hurt and we should help her. Besides it's summer, we should be outside. . ." Richie said.

"If you say it's summer one more f-f-f-fucking time," Bill muttered before letting his eyes flicker over his friends. Each one of them obviously wanted to stay right where they were and it made Bill even angrier than he already was. But then his eyes had landed on Y/N and his face softened ever so slightly as he noticed the utter pain in her eyes as she tried to limp forward and to him.

Shaking his head and knowing that not only would his friends not come, but that he couldn't allow Y/N to face that clown again, Bill turned around and grabbed his bike before beginning to bike away.

"Bill?" Y/N called after the boy, shoving Stan's grip away from her as she desperately tried to limp forward as fast as she could just to stop the boy from leaving by himself. "Wait!"

But Bill was already gone.

- - -

It took a minute for Y/N to convince Stan to let her on to his bike and another few minutes of convincing Eddie to allow her to leave with only a bandage lazily thrown over her wound, but the group was eventually biking after Bill side by side until they reached the Well House. Y/N could see Bill walking up the old stairs and her eyes widened before she yelled out, "Bill!"

Bill turned around in surprise, his eyes locking on Y/N who struggled to get off Stan's bike before she limped over to the stairs as fast as she could, wincing as she did. "Bill, you can't go in there," Y/N pleaded as she reached the stairs. "At least not alone."

Bill looked to the girl with surprise still evident on his face but it quickly washed away once he heard Beverly cry out, "This is crazy." Beverly and the others were behind Y/N in seconds and Bill frowned as he looked at the group.

"Look, you don't have to come in with me, but what happens when another Georgie goes missing, or another Betty or another Ed Corcoran or one of us? Are you just going to pretend it didn't happen like everyone else in this town? Because I can't. I go home and all I see is that Georgie isn't there, his clothes, his toys, his stupid stuffed animal but he isn't. So walking into this house for me. . .it's easier that walking into my own," Bill told them, his voice steady although he had tears in his eyes.

Bill then turned and finished walking up the stairs while Y/N watched him go with a sad look on her face. Her leg was on fire, but she didn't care at the moment because all that mattered was Bill.

"Wow," Richie muttered.

"What?" Ben asked.

"He didn't stutter once," Richie pointed out.

No one made a move to go after the boy and Y/N glanced at her friends before shaking her head and limping over to the stairs. It was a struggle to get up the stairs, but now that the adrenaline was coursing through her body and the initial pain of the injury was gone, it was bearable enough for her to be able to get through the pain for this.

Bill heard the footsteps before he could get to the door and he turned, his face softening at the sight of Y/N limping up the stairs. He didn't even hesitate before going over and holding a hand out for her. She took it and he helped her up the rest of the stairs before she stumbled slightly into him. Bill was quick to steady her and the two stared at each other in silence before Y/N gave him a small nod and whispered, "I'm with you."

Her words were enough to make Bill smile and his heart couldn't help but skip a beat as his feelings for the girl grew even more. He couldn't even find it in himself to tell the girl she couldn't come, for the way she looked at him dead in the eye and the seriousness of her voice was enough to tell him that she really would be by his side through this all, that she wouldn't let him do this alone even if she was hurt.

Y/N eventually tore her eyes away from Bill and looked to the others almost pleadingly and it didn't take much more than Bill's words and Y/N's pleading stare to have them start moving toward the stairs.

"Wait!" Stan cried out, instantly stopping everyone in their tracks. "Uhhh, shouldn't we have some people keep watch. You know, just in case something bad happens?"

Y/N didn't blame her cousin for not wanting to go into that house. After all, a small part of herself was telling her to grab her cousin and get on his bike before pedaling far away. But something was stopping her from doing so and she actually found herself wanting to go in there and kill that clown herself.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-Who wants to stay out here?" Bill asked and everyone in the group except for Bill, Beverly, and Y/N raised their hands. Richie was the first one to notice this and sighed as he lowered his hand.

"Fuck."

* * *

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[awkwardplantwrites]

Finding Magic: Chapter Two

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That night, Renato had a dream. In the fields surrounding the town of Llantry he saw a rocky hill. On that hill stood a crumbling tower that wasn't attached to any castle. The sky was dark and overcast, with rumbles of thunder banging on the clouds. A brisk wind pushed Renato in the direction of the tower. 

He noticed someone sitting at the top, on the edge of the battlement merlons, swinging their legs with no fear of the great height. Renato walked to the tower. Rocks stabbed him through his leather shoes and grazed his hands with its sharp edges when he pulled himself up the hill.

The tower's entrance was a large wooden door with ornate decorations. It was wide open and Renato walked through. There was no room, only a stone staircase; it spiralled within the tower and he couldn't see where it led. Slime from the walls covered his hands when he touched it.

"Aw gross!" Renato wiped his hands on his shirt and continued walking. Eventually he saw the malevolent light of sky, then he was at the top of the tower. The figure turned out to be Pepi. Pepi turned round to face him.

"Why are you wearing a crown?"

"I- I am?" Renato felt atop his head and there sat a golden crown which he took off and examined. Carved onto it was an image of a knight fighting a dragon, and next to it, a healer touching the forehead of a person who knelt before them. "I think it has pictures of me. That's odd, it's showing me face without the glamour spells."

The crown became heavier and Renato buckled under its weight, nearly dropping it. Pepi jumped down from the ledge and rushed over.

"Are you alright? Let me help-"

At the same moment Pepi touched the crown, lightning struck the tower. The building blew up in flames and the floor shook beneath them. They lost their footing and tumbled off the edge. Renato braced himself for the face-first drop onto the rocky hill. But he landed back on the top of the tower.

"What?! Why am I- I was just falling, how…" Renato looked around to see the tower was no longer worn and crumbling. It was as if it had somehow restored to a brand new building.

Above them the sky turned blue, which continued without end. Renato saw Pepi again - who now wore a red cloak - he didn't seem to remember falling seconds before. With one hand he held a globe, in the other hand, two long branches. Pepi and Renato gazed upon the scenery. It was no longer Llantry's fields, but a lush meadow next to a massive lake and mountains with snowy peaks. A smile reached Pepi's lips. He glanced at Renato, bekoning him to come over, then handed one of the branches to him.

"Look down there." Pepi pointed at the bank of the lake below.

An angel with large crimson wings wore a long white robe that reached their feet, one foot was in the water, the other on the grassy bank. They poured water from a goblet into another goblet. Raising their hands, they held up the goblets as if making a toast. The goblets disappeared and the angel flew up, somehow still floating even when their wings vanished. Renato quickly averted his eyes when their robe morphed into a scarf of liliac fabric. The angel flew towards them, taking the branches out their hands.

"Watch this, I'm going to do something amazing." The angel hit them on the head with the branches.

"Ow!" Renato rubbed his head. "What was that for?!"

"Are you wanting to fight, huh? Square go!" Pepi threw the globe at the angel.

Dodging the globe, the angel apologized. "Sorry, oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to change them."

The branches shrunk and transformed into two white drumsticks. "It's my first time delivering a dream, please don't tell my boss." The angel tapped them on the head with the sticks.

Renato woke up. He sat up in bed, peering into the darkness. Across the room, Pepi slept in his chair, guarding the bedchamber door as usual.

Renato lay down again. "What was I dreaming about? I can't remember. That's so annoying." He drifted off to sleep.

At dawn, Pepi woke Renato as he tidied something up. Then Pepi left the bedchamber for an hour, saying that he had something to do. Renato didn't really care. His bed was warm. He didn't want to move. Pepi's stupid face irritated him. He didn't know why, and not knowing why made him even more irritable.

When Pepi returned, he helped Renato get dressed (despite the knight complaining like a child not wanting to take a bath). Later in the morning, Pepi gathered the knights in the manor's courtyard and informed them of Renato's magic loss. A few knights began fidgeting and adjusting their armour, failing to mask their panic.

"I know of a man who can help him. In fact, this person can help everyone in Llantry. His name is Danov and he lives on the Isle of Adhar, where I'm from. It's off the North-West coast of Costia. But it's a long journey. Two or three weeks, even if you go by horse. Though I'd suggest taking a wagon, since you don't know if Renato could start feeling worse and become unable to ride."

Ladwef, a knight with a nasal voice and who constantly looked like he was sneering, cleared his throat. "Ahem, you know of him? Have you actually met this healer? He's not a myth is he?"

"Uh no, my relatives know him." Pepi combed fingers through his hair. "They've met him personally. It'll be fine. But I can't go. Someone else will have to take Renato to Adhar-"

"What?" Ladwef squawked. "That doesn't make sense. You're the only one who knows of this healer so you should be the one to track him down."

Pepi spoke through gritted teeth. "I would be a liability. I might not seem like it, but I'm not doing too well either. And before you ask, I'm not sharing those issues. Now. Does anyone know how to read a map?"

Another knight called out. "Don't be daft! You travelled down here so you know the way back. And if your family are the ones who know him, I don't reckon they'd be friendly to one of us."

"Hey, my family is full of nice, friendly people! Although Tammy's a different story, she'd make you pay a large sum. But the rest of them would always help someone in need," Pepi insisted, and surveyed the knights. His shoulders slumped. He crossed his arms, looking down at his feet with a grimace. "I'm the only one who can travel with Renato, huh..? I barely even remember how I got here."

Renato raised his hand. "I don't want to go."

"Hush, oh brave knight." Pepi pulled Renato's hand down. "We need you to get your magic back as quick as possible. And to represent the people. Show the healer how serious this is. He can examine you or whatever."

"You shut up." Reanto huffed. "This healer… he's not going to slice me up to do that examining is he?"

"Only when you die on the way there, I promise." Pepi patted Renato's shoulder. "That’s why I’m bringing the wagon. I suppose we best start packing."

In Renato's bedchamber, Pepi organised items and put them into bags like he was arranging puzzle pieces. Renato had opted to gaze at his reflection in his pocket mirror, poking at his acne. There was some sort of burning itch of irritation he couldn't shake off. If he opened his mouth he'd start a fight with Pepi.

But when Pepi held a white sphere the size of a child's fist that lifted off his hand, and started to fly around his shoulders, Renato blurted "What's that?"

"Oh, this?" Pepi rubbed the sphere with his index finger. It leaned (or flew?) into his touch. "It's a floating dragon egg. Just joking, it's a crystal ball made of Calcite. I got this from the diviner who lives right outside South Gate. She says it can detect animosity and danger."

The ball flew towards Renato then began pulsing with red light. It quickly flew back behind Pepi, looking over his shoulder. "Well. Since you're the danger, I suppose I'll have to defeat you." Pepi held a dagger like a sword and aimed it at Renato.

Renato crossed his arms. "Stop it. if you go anywhere near me with that daggar I'll stab you with it.”

“What’s wrong with you today? Yesterday you couldn’t care less about being killed by a dragon and now you’re being mean to me,” Pepi pouted.

“I don't know why I'm mad. It’s the illness,” Renato sighed. “I’m sorry. Anyway, why did you see the diviner? She doesn't use real magic, she's a con. She told me I’d “meet the spirits of water” then I fell in a puddle the next day."

Pausing, Pepi glanced at the white ball. "I had a weird dream last night. One of the knights is her nephew, he told me about her a while back. She was helpful, I think. A bit vague though. I would've been much more stubborn about going on this journey if I hadn't seen her."

"Why? What did she say?"

"Stuff about symbolism. She told me the things I dreamt of represented new beginnings, a partnership, travelling, maintaining balance, broadening my horizons, and finding peace."

"Yeah, crap like that means nothing," Renato scoffed. "She asks questions so she can pretend-"

"She didn't ask me anything. Apart from how the dream made me feel. It made me feel peaceful, it did. You were there, y'know. And it was a vivid dream. Maybe seeing you was a representation of God in my head, since you talk about Lidion a lot. Or it could've been a message from him. Did you have any dreams last night?"

"No. I don't remember anything." A spark of envy tickled Renato's stomach.

Surely Lidion hadn't… really unchosen him. There was no way he'd replace Renato with Pepi, right? Lidion had chosen Renato to be his father's successor as head knight, and it couldn't be revoked just like that. Right?

"That's too bad," Pepi replied. "If you're not going to help me pack, go outside and get the wagon ready."

"Ugh, fine! Anything to get away from your stupid face!" Renato stormed out the bedchamber.

Renato made his way to his mother's house to say goodbye, kicking the ground with his foot the entire way. He didn't get to see her often since he'd moved into the manor. Renato defended the town during the day and have healing sessions in the evening. If there was nothing to fight, he'd spend more time healing. If there was no-one to heal or fight, he'd be improving the town's defences or giving speeches at the temple. But now he couldn't do either of those. And because of that he wouldn't get to see her for yet another month.

His mother never had anymore children. She earned a living from making and mending clothes, even though she lived amoungst the gentry, and refused to have servants. His father had been head knight, but he’d died last year.  Renato worried about his mother, given she had known his father better than he did and lost the man she loved, but she never lost that spark of hope in her eyes.

"Mam? I'm ho- Uh, I came to see you." Renato opened her door, scanning the room. An empty laundry basket sat in the corner. He nearly left to check outside, but then he saw her on the bed. "Are you sleeping?"

She stared at the ceiling. Her eyes, full of despair, slowly drifted over Renato's face. "It's been a whole season since I saw your face. Or anyone's face. No-one talks these days, not even to themselves."

Her voice trembled and tears fell down her cheeks. "No-one wants me to make their clothes. There's no-one to buy food from. I really wish your dad was here. He'd bring their souls back to these people just by saying a few words."

Renato's previous irritation faded. "I'm sorry mam, everyone's just… not feeling themselves lately. That's why I'm here, I wanted to tell you I'm leaving Llantry to find a cure," He told her, leaving out the fact that he was as ill as everyone else.

"Pepi knows someone who can help. You remember him, the man who sang at the top of his lungs to promote his sweets when he came into town, and gave all the kids a sugar rush." He held her hand. "And while we're gone I need you to stay strong. You'd make dad proud."

Her eyes remained misty but she smiled. "Thank you, darling. Come home soon. I'll be waiting for you with that apple pie you love so much, even if I have to loot ingredients from the Lord's pantry."

Renato kissed her cheek and said goodbye. He marched back to the wagon waiting by the North gate, seething with fury. How dare this illness make his mother feel so lonely. How dare she and all these people be forced to suffer. Renato passed by Dempster, the knight from Lord Paule's gatehouse.

"In my bedchamber, inside the desk drawers, you'll find three defense spells held in bottles," Renato told him. "Smash them on the ground, but only use them when things get dire. They'll last an hour each. For the rest of the time," He placed his hands on Dempster's shoulders, staring into his eyes.

"I'm counting on you and the other knights to prevent anything getting inside these walls, magic or no magic." Without waiting for a reply, Renato climbed into the back of the wagon and shoved the bags aside.

A man, held back by knights, shouted at Renato from the crowd, "Why weren't you making your healing rounds last night? I’ve got a sore stomach, I had diarrhea all night!" A few others joined in, complaining about their illnesses and the lack of healers.

"We'll be back before you know it," Pepi called out from the jockey box. "Complain to the noblemen in the meantime, though. Renato can't help you yet, I'm sorry."

Renato stared at the crowd through the wagon’s rear. Lidion, why didn’t you protect us from this illness? He thought. Nobody answered his prayer.

The gates opened and they rode out of Llantry. Renato had never left Llantry; this would be the furthest he'd ever travelled. He watched as the town's walls grew smaller the further they travelled, until it was replaced by grasslands.

At this point, Pepi started a conversation with the crystal ball that flew around him. The ball pulsed a faint yellow light.

"Can I give you a name?" In front of Pepi's face, the ball dipped up and down, which seemed to mean "yes".

"Can I call you Kezia?" The ball flew left to right, "no". "Russell?" Another no.

"Ok, I'm not the best at giving names. Try again. Uh… how about Finlay? It means "white warrior"."

The ball slowly floated in a figure eight, then motioned "yes".

"Great! Hello Finlay, welcome to the team. So far we have me; a candy delivery boy, turned over-worked squire. And Renato; a helpless wee baby inside the body of a twenty-three year old man. We're off to a great start."

"Why are you talking to that ball? It doesn't have ears." Renato grumbled. "I'm not a baby."

"Oh, hello Grumpy! You were so quiet back there I thought I'd left you back in Llantry." Pepi chuckled. "Finlay moves when I speak. It moves up and down for yes, and side to side for no. Plus it changes colours depending on how I feel, so I reckon Finlay can hear me just fine. Isn't that right?" Finlay motioned yes.

Pepi continued to chat with Finlay. "I wasn't born with magic. I couldn't make my own candy like the rest of my family, so I got stuck being a delivery boy. Walking through all kinds of weather, having people yell that my prices were too high, or that it made their kid too energetic. It really sucked, I tell you!" Finlay rubbed against Pepi's cheek as it pulsated a faint red light.

Renato groaned and slumped against the wagon bed. This was going to be a long journey.

"I do like the song my dad wrote to advertise the candy, that's always my favourite part. I usually put my name in the song. It makes more sense that way. Do you want to hear it?" Pepi cleared his throat then began singing.

"Ally, bally, ally bally bee ! Sitting on yer mammy’s knee, greeting for a wee bawbee, to buy some Pepi’s candy. Renato, sing with me!" Pepi called over his shoulder. "There was a wee lassie awfy thin, a bundle of bones wrapped up in skin, now she’s getting a wee double chin, with eating Pepi’s candy…"

A very, long, arduous journey.

[ewshannon]

I Love My Mother's Killer

Photo by: E. W. Shannon (c) 2020

I Love My Mother's Killer

by

E.W. Shannon

At three a.m. on a Sunday morning, through a glass door, I saw mother take her last breath. The ICU doctor warned it wouldn't be a long drawn out process, but I think even the nurse and the respiratory therapist were a bit surprised at how quickly she stopped. Stopped being alive. Stopped being Mabel Harper. Stopped being Mom and Grandma. I was a little shocked at how fast she went from being my mother to being 'the body,' almost as if I could see the tether between her and the ethereal part of the universe sever in front of me.

I stood outside, in my hospital booties, gown, gloves, hair cover, mask, and face shield while they removed her breathing tube. Her nurse, Vanessa, looked up at me when she realized how quick death had come. She came out of the room, took a deep breath, and gave me the news. "I'm sorry Mr. Harper, she's already gone." She paused to let me process and perhaps breakdown. When it became obvious, I wasn't going to go into hysterics, she continued. "Just let the respiratory therapist come out and then you can go in."

"No, that's okay." I started taking off the protective gear and felt guilty at having wasted it just to stand in a hallway. Talking to strangers has never been a strength of mine and the circumstance of my mother's death, or I guess any death, made it even worse. All the autistic tics and traits I had worked so hard on to lessen or get rid of came back like somebody poured them over me from a bucket. The stutter, the inability to look someone in the face, the sweating, all descended upon me at once. "I-I-I-Is there a-a-a-anything else y-y-y-you need from me?"

Vanessa placed a hand on my arm. Even through my shirt and the gown and her glove, I could still feel her warmth. "You want to sit down?"

"N-n-n-n-no, I-I-I-I'll b-b-be okay. I just need to go d-d-d-d-do a b-b-breathing exerc-c-c-c-ise." On top of all the sweating and stuttering I had unconsciously begun crying and hadn't even realized it.

"Okay. Um, no, there's nothing else we need right now from you. We'll call the mortuary and they'll be in contact with you." She half looked at me with pity and half with awe. For months now her world had been a constant dialogue about COVID; for over a week she had seen me as a competent sane man, and now a certified medical freak stood in front of her coming apart at the seams. Having an evolving medical curiosity in front of her must have been a nice change of pace from the pandemic.

"Thank you for e-e-everything."

"No problem. Sorry for your loss." She patted my arm again and I felt her shift internally. Her voice changed into a hospital administrator to catch my attention. "Make sure you leave the face mask on until you leave the building and use hand sanitizer as you exit this unit, as well as when you exit the building downstairs.

"Thank you."

She went back into my mother's room and pulled a curtain across the glass door.

I don't remember leaving the unit, how I got downstairs and exited, how I found my car in the parking garage, or if I ever used any hand sanitizer. I just remember sobbing with my head leaned against the steering wheel, my tears snaking their way through the Chevy emblem before falling into my lap. Eventually I started the car and headed home. At first, I tried to craft what I would say to my daughters, Lily and Layla, but found I could either drive or work on a speech for my girls, but not both. So, I just drove and let my subconscious wander and it wasn't long before it took me back to that innocent day less than a month ago.

It's so stupid really. As a family we had been so careful to self-isolate as a group; it felt like Swiss Family Robinson, but with Wi-Fi. A drive-by birthday party for a seven-year-old is what started the death knell for mother. A boy named Asher, a friend of Lily's, stood in the driveway as, one by one, friends (and their obliging parents) stopped and sang Happy Birthday, hooked a gift bag onto a six foot metal pole usually used for skimming a pool, and then waited for the little boy to yell out "Thank you!" showing off all the open spaces in his mouth where teeth had fallen out as he grinned like an idiot.

The thought of giving Lily a list of rules never occurred to anyone. Her ten-year-old sister held only a tentative grasp on the word 'pandemic.' To Layla it meant the bully she'd acquired at the beginning of the year was now null and void, she could go to class in questionable states of dress at the dining room table, she was no longer the weird kid who ate hummus and sprouts sandwiches alone in the cafeteria, and, most importantly to her, she got to sleep in for an extra hour.

Lily, however, was quite different. Every teacher's report we'd gotten on her included the phrase "social butterfly" or some variation of "very verbal." In every group picture from school, Lily grabbed the focus by placing herself dead center, usually with half the students looking at her rather than the camera. Since birth she had always been everybody’s friend and greeted everyone with a hug. I always imagine her studying Layla and seeing how heavy and dour she was and deciding to be the complete opposite.

So, there we were on a warm day in May, I drove, my wife, Joy, sat up front with me, and my mother sat between Layla and Lily in the back seat. I don't know why I put the car in park that day as we sang and put our bag on the pole. Remembering the 'clunk' of the doors unlocking sometimes wakes me up at night. I can vividly remember the bright green bow falling off the bag and how fast Lily had been at getting out of her booster seat and out of the car. Before my wife or I could comprehend what was happening, she had picked up the bow off the asphalt, playfully stuck it to Asher's forehead, and hugged him. No mask, no gloves, no ridiculous two-foot wide piece of plexiglass like at the grocery store, just two children doing what you want children to do, being caring, thoughtful, kind, unreserved, and picking up their litter.

I wouldn't say our family has any real germaphobes, but we did exercise a bit of caution as the tallies of deaths and infections continued their upward trajectory on the news. Joy and I had surrendered to the idea of life with COVID rather than life after COVID. My wife still went to the grocery store with the girls in tow. My mother made them each twenty masks with different patterns, each girl getting their name embroidered in one of the corners, so instead of telling them they 'had' to wear a mask we just had to say, "Go pick out a special mask to go with your outfit." Of course, they weren't wearing masks that day, as we weren't supposed to be near anyone.

When Lily got back into the car and buckled herself into her booster seat, a noticeable silence that accompanied her. Joy broke the hush. "Here Lily, put some hand sanitizer on." She then covered Lily's little hands with ten pumps of hand gel from a Costco-sized container.

I looked back at Lily's glistening dripping hands and whispered in my wife's ear, "Unless you're going to pump it down her nose and throat, the damage is done."

She turned back around in her seat, put a single pump of hand gel on her own hands and took a deep breath as she nervously rubbed it in. "Yeah, you're right. I mean, what are the odds?" She shrugged her shoulders and gave me an unconvincing smile.

The next day Joy sent an email to Asher's mother to ask, with the utmost of political correctness, if their family might be harboring a deadly contagion. The reply came back quick assuring us that we had nothing to worry about and asking if we might be harboring a deadly contagion. "Remember when these emails were about kids biting and organizing bake sales," I asked her after reading the reply.

The day after that I caught my wife typing in 'how many days for covid symptoms after possible infection.' Before she could press 'enter' I answered her, "Two to fourteen days." She pressed 'enter' anyway and then let out a sigh with her head resting in her hands. "Told ya so."

"It might have updated since you looked." Her tense reply made me get up and massage her shoulders.

"It'll be okay. None of us are sick. Mom's been fine since she moved in after her hip surgery. Worst case, we get sick and we get over it." I tried my best to fill the statement with confidence, but the tiny bit of doubt I let slip by was all she heard. I looked across the foyer and saw Lily in my mother's room, sitting in her lap having a story read to her, and hoped I was right.

Two more days went by and then Joy woke up with flu-like symptoms, achy, fever, a slight cough, but nothing too alarming. The next day Layla woke with similar symptoms, but not as extreme. We tried to go through a drive-up testing site, but once my wife saw the line, she gave the order to turn back. "It's like Schrödinger’s cat, let’s just hope we only have to open two boxes," she said. They each had symptoms for three days and then they cleared. My wife attributed their miraculous recovery to the vegan diet she had put the family on the previous year. I gave more credit to luck.

Day twelve I woke to the sound of a duck on fire quacking from downstairs, at least that's what it sounded like to me. I found my mother in her chair coughing and felt her hot clammy head. "Get dressed Mom, we're going to the hospital." She didn't answer, just shook her head, and shuffled over to her closet. A few hours later she became a patient in the special COVID ward of our local hospital.

A few days later I got a call from Vanessa, just starting the night shift, telling me they had transferred my mother to the ICU and asking if she had a living will. While having a living will makes you feel prepared for death, when somebody outside your family asks to see it, it's the most ominous feeling ever.

Two lights away from the entrance to our neighborhood, in the small hours of the morning with a few of my mother's effects in a hospital bag on the floorboard, I pulled the car over into a 7-Eleven parking lot and vomited all over a Japanese Boxwood. It wasn't a virus causing me to hurl, but a thought, a window into the future. Someday Lily will look back on this, maybe she'll come across one of those masks with my mother's embroidery on it, maybe she'll just remember waking up to the horrible news, but at some point she might make the connection to the bow on Asher's head and her grandmother dying.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I'm so happy to hear the kids abducted to Hong Kong got to hear and see and talk to their hero that saved them today through Zoom in Brian's phone!!!

It was so lucky and such perfect timing that he called me today while the military crews were still resting in China and Wendy was able to pinpoint their locations directly!!

He truly is their Hero and we are so lucky!

I have dreamed about him for years and for years have been waking up from nightmares telling Brian McGruff is a bad dog... But always the dream would be gone when i woke up or it was before it started happening and no one knew

I even had a feeling when I ordered the kits... So I'm not sure how these kids feel through the cracks because they were on my soul to save.

I also didn't know know about human trafficking like I do now, so I think the whole "Sabrina you just have a bad feeling because it reminds you what could happen..." Is how

A few other companies, too... I had a whole list. So Thorn is gonna check that out.

It just takes one person to prove a mood. I had a list of 17 companies that day then 26 more over the next week that I had this nag on while I was "picking on" Crime the McGruff Dog

Since I kept saying it that way in 2016 and I never ever messed up his name before they took down a list of companies associated with him according to my feelings and it was an unusual list.

So this man has likely saved nearly 30 times as many children as he could have hoped.

We will soon find out. In return he's to receive a mansion an economically stable brand new automobile. Fully paid.

Because I've dreamed of him, his voice and everything. He truly is an Earth Angel.

For nearly half a decade he's been the solution to my night terrors. I know why ask those children cried. I want to cry, too, And my tears are warm.

The children were mutated and mutilated. Arms cut off and sewn onto their foreheads and given all sorts of horrible viruses and drugs.

Tree just gave them their own fresh bodies. Replicas. Some back to the age/look they were kidnapped at, some slightly grown, according to the agreement between child and parent whichever they liked the sound of best, the child's preference being the ultimate decision maker. Their DNA4U will state and show they are replicated due to the reasons of faster healing and less overall damage that would cause future problems plus they got upgrades like bullet proofing, extra speed, strength increases, stuff like that. And extra extra heavy COVID19 instead of 3 feet you'll get it at 10 feet bad enough to kill you nearly instantly.

But they were horribly mistreated, starving, mental and physical torture, so much.

So I know to talk to the one rare person in the World that could save them and did was certainly very good heart and soul medicine.

So I'm glad he called me again and I didn't answer and Brian called back from the plane.

Yes of course. He flew to Enid then China then Hong Kong... You can make a man retire but you can't ever make a man quit. And I'm glad. Just so those kids could talk to their hero.

So lucky. Of all the hundreds of people working there he's been there only 6 months. And he took that initiative to just check...

Today living kids was 443.

Dead was 198,675 which tree ghosted back to life. (Gave new bodies)

Nearly a quarter of a million children.

Times 3 is 600k then add a zero. Looking at maybe 6 million kids and young adults...

Tree estimates 400M

So a huge round of applause and a right tight hug.

And he deserves amazing amounts of pats on the back because that list would just sat around keeping dusty.

This is that old fashioned detective work like sitting at a gas meter while some one is down trying to find out how to save people (aliens included) from dying in a gas chamber and they're up there making sure that gas isn't turned on to kill the girl doing all the work -- he couldn't hear people downstairs through the street and i could get the truth out easier and faster before they even knew and I was always happy to get the news while he was just mad and angry. So i was the better to go. Cause everyone was always happy to see me. Cause I was always super nice and all interested in what they were doing.

Now unfortunately not so much.

But Charles was starting to get nightmares after my list and had came up with 14 more companies from coming from the same way i had came up with my list... So he talked to some the other people that felt creeped out about the assignment I insisted on doing and they also all added each two and then some kept a private list... Which they slowly added after verifying the company was then clean.. It started in 2013 these bad dreams.

So every time it happened or they started their nightmares they added to the list.

Overall 642 companies we dreamed of or felt or somehow had a psychic connection to. I dreamed of kids and old people and women. Some people only dreamed about men. Some just kids.

The companies we have left is 642 to check out as they hadn't had yet done any bad and no dreams or any thing has came up since...

Which isn't happy, we now know, but good news is whatever bad has happened we can fix is super special and magical ways.

So we have Thorn, CIA, Military, some FBI and some others to check what's been going on and see.

So that's about 8 Trillion that have been affected. But at least 6 Trillion have already been retrieved.

So this one single person has done the miraculous. The biggest miracle we have been waiting for on a personal level. For me its been 7 years but 6 since 9 other people started having their dreams affected and the lists began.

So 10 of us with nightmares. Night terrors. Waking up screaming or shaking or scared. And not knowing why but having a name, a company label. Sometimes or often a place on a map... As close to the actual GPS coordinates of longitude and latitude. Wake up listing numbers for no reason. Numbers that make no sense N 316941027865389421. Over and over.

Brian would look at me "what the fuck are you trying to do Morse code?"

"I'm trying to sleep thank you very much. Alan and Naomi. 38652361 I think you just messed me up"

One person. One person can make a difference. That's all it takes. One person.

One person to make sense of all these nightmares.

We don't need to be saved from them... They didn't bother so much... We could wake up. Be safe in our beds. Joke it out.

But there's people. Innocent children. Innocent adults that wake up into real living nightmares every single day.

And one person today made the phone call to make thst difference to about 200,000 kids and over 400,000 parents. And siblings and grandparents. Friends.

Just today he changed the world for at least a million whom now have a missing child come home.

Made one million hearts smile and backs release tension and sorrow.

And now we're looking at 2 trillion lost people. Who have kids. Who have parents. Grandparents. Friends.

Were gonna have at least 6 trillion hearts heal then there's soulmates so that's gonna be 12 trillion

Due to one phone call. That was all I needed.

I had heard him say he couldn't find his soulmate... And he didn't go trying to save her or find her today

He knew it was just kids.

But he knew it was missing kids because the people getting ID kits were told not to call the police only call the dog. He could see clearly kids were being abducted and they had a rating system on "easy to kidnap to hard" and the easy were always reported within weeks.

He knew it was his civil duty to call and report it somehow... But he didn't know to who or how.. Who would take it seriously.

This crazy lady might...

Im very sensitive to red flags. He didn't even have to explain. I was already on it in less than 2 minutes.

So the world is so lucky to have him and the kids today so lucky to be in Hong Kong when we just busted 600k China's citizens home.

I mean you can't get more miraculous than that!!

You would think...

But leave it to the true McGruff the Crime Dog to make sure it did.

Because it did.

Tree will update us later how extremely far this miracle went

From one person hoping and praying and taking that leap of faith.... After 10 following their true instincts and intuition.

Intuition is so important you guys. If you hadn't understood why i hope now you finally get it.

Last night I trusted mine and we pulled 13 million from slavery. That's 26 million directly affected with soulmate syndrome. Then parents that makes it times two. So 52 million then grandparents and kids...

Then one person trusted his. And kaboom an estimated 12 Trillion frowns are gonna turn upside down.

Then we are getting these bad guys off the streets, out of their homes, immediately. Hopefully they're checked thoroughly and then killed. I'm done with this baby sitting shit. Back to good ole South Texas and manual strangulation in vans after being kidnapped...but now technology has made it so much different. Much simpler to catch someone in the act. And fuck this court system, it's WWIII. Its military. We will find them guilty without a reasonable doubt and simply kill them.

There is no fucking reason over 18 million people were kidnapped in late 2019 (after October) or in any fucking time in 2020.

What is the point of a trial? Those people whom went to jail in 1990 for 20 years for kidnapping are doing it again. I sent 700 to jail. 36 are actively kidnapping. 642 are financially benefiting. The remaining are probably dead. 12 people.

Tree says i make him laugh. They are dead.

So out of 700 they're dead or kidnapping or in the human trafficking market.

So, there is No change and no Rehabilitation. There is PROOF.

So human trafficking ass holes y'all can thank those 688. Because now you're all just gonna fucking die.

What are you gonna do to me? Not a dam thing. That's what. So think about bull shit. Cry about your stupid life. I don't care.

But I'm taking all your money to pay the victims and im killing you, human traffickers.

And you ain't doing shit about it.

And those about to be trying to hurt someone to retaliate. I already put alerts on you.

So when you're pushed out a plane in the middle of no where so wild animals can eat you... Well don't complain to me. Animals need to eat, too

And surviving good humans. Don't worry... When the bodies hit the ground. They pretty much explode so they're just ground meat basically and bones crush and they wre just big piles of food. They don't look human

So some bear isnt going to come out the mountains and be all "man I just ate something that looked like you and was mighty tastey!" The bodies are unrecognizable.

If you're curious... Idk if you still can.. We used to can look up bodies that had been tossed or jumped out of Windows. Back in 2000 I found a website and I would go through and examine them and see which were pushed and which had jumped

I could tell the difference. Anyway if they're in Google you'll see they don't look human. They're pretty gross -- some do -- so ew be careful but from the plane height trust me they do not.

And its very careful with software to show no damage to trees or animals will occur.. And the software is very intelligent and cautious and only certain types of people can access it. Like a kidnapper can't turn on the computer and see where and how. But a Clark Kent or Louis Lane or someone can. But if an evil Donald Trump sits down next to, the software will shut down. Immediately. And lock out any user until hes removed.

I'm not fucking dumb. Sometimes I just don't know what to do and Need an Earth Angel to make one phone call

Or a guilty person to confess. Or a clue. A bad dream. A nightmare in my sleep. Or being in the right place at the right time. Like when the kidnappers gas up at night at the gas station.

Otherwise I'm fucking brilliant. Overprotective and caring.

So any one tries to dump innocent people out of planes, the door simply will not open. Magic it is called. Its already happened. And it will not happen again.

Anyway for all the 007 Peirces that can stab so hard it hurts and heals at the same time.

This one is for you.

Thank you!

Lets really bust a move on that intuition. Its a life saver.

Man we are so so so so so so lucky today!!!

I couldn't be more thank ful!!

All of our military and cops that are ready and qualified and remember how to rescue from bunkers.

We need y'all. Don't forget to stay safe and well.

And our essientals and just our stay homers.

And beach goers.