#i told a girl i didnt want to see her last weekend so i could play a video game

[dickthyology]

I am actually very against the idea of robot wives because as a cisman i cannot afford for other cismen to leave the dating pool, removing their offerings and thus raising the standards expected of me.

[capricosalvation]

Young Cathleen Bate x Fem!Reader

After yesterday's poll, i Made this thinking about a Young Cathleen dressed in the uniform With a bike, heavily 80's inspired "Take my breath away" kinda thing. Both Of You Are +18 in this fic, but there is no smut.

—°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°—

Cathleen and you have something going on for a while... And no one noticed...Its a relief, both of you have religious parents, but at the same time, the thrill it's interesting to Say at least..

You were coming out of your university when you saw your girlfriend waiting for You, standing in her military outfit close to her motorbike, She looked badass!

Cathy seems to have some bandages in her face...

"Don't worry too much for it, babe... It was just a quirkless combat with Ethan" - she cooed, caressing your soft right cheek.

"Babe You look like a beaten up banana at this point, i'm worried" - Y/N pouted, altrought humoring Cathy, she was worried "i think you shouldn't go that hard, cant imagine how Ethan looks compared to You"

"Nahh, It was part of the exercise! He was holding back on Me, I insisted him going full Power" - She brushed it off with a smile, but when she tried to smile she ended up wincing in pain.

"I'm being serious, don't overwork yourself." - The worried girl crossed her arms, raising her head to look at her secret girlfriend seriously.

But Y/N didnt knew that Cathleen was having a bad day already, and was trying to not burst up at the minimun pressure "Listen, I might not be the Best cadet yet, but I'm not a child anymore, please don't treat me like one, I'm a full grown adult" - She was being hard headed again... Y/N could tell this was a sensitive matter for her, and She didnt wanted to make scene in the University entrance.

She huffed, not wasting saliva in what would be a public discussion, Cathleen sitted on the motorbike looking at Y/N without a word, just a cold face that if it spoke it would say "get on, no questions"

Y/N complied sitting and hugging Cathleen for security, but at the same time, that hug was showing her concern. Cathleen revved the bike, who roared back to life, soon they left University grounds and drive towards her parents house.

Cathleen's parents werent at Home, neither her Sister. They went to visit Cathleen's grandparents, Y/N knew that because of Cathleen's rants about wanting to go with them... But She couldnt. She had to sacrifice that in order to be the Best.

The women arrived to the cadet's Home, a large, fancy condo, she got off the bike, and took off her helmet, and then turned to look at you "They went to see our grandparents for the weekend , but don't worry, they know you, they told me you could come In whenever you wanted" - she said in a tired tone, she realized that Y/N didnt deserve her anger, so She took her secret lover's hand, guiding her to the cadet's house, lo later enter to her room.

Cathleen's room was filled With All Might pictures and posters of planes. A photo With little Cathy posing happily in All Might's arms was proudly showed in her nightstand. Y/N sat on the bed, downhearted about what happened before, the blonde hero aspirant closed the door. Taking off her jacket... Y/N gasped, Cathleen was beaten up, purple and red bruises collored her fair skin, she looked at You with a mix of seriousness, whim and... Sadness?

"This is what happens when You want to be the best" - She huffed, agitated "To be like him, i need to be strong" - she was being hard headed... Again

"All Might Isnt strong all the time!" - Y/N said, her voice trembling "Because he's a human! YOU don't have to be strong all the time, because YOU'RE human!!!"

"You don't understand, Y/N" - She said, gruff "How can You be the Best in a world of men, 'taking it easy'?" - She said the last Words in a mocking, sarcastic, yet jealous and hurtfull tone. Then She sighed, She was hurting her beloved. "I... I can't help it... W-when you're surrounded by men that are so strong... So powerful... I... I feel weak... I feel useless..." - Cathleen began to sob and tears of anger started to flow from her eyes, she was feeling pathetic... Weak... She wasn't the hero she wanted to be... Cathleen tought herself as a disgrace that didn't deserve that uniform...

Y/N had enough, jumping from the bed to cup her girlfriend's cheeks "You Are NOT weak! You're one Of the Best fucking students!" - She sighed, then kissed her cheek in comprehension "You're a student for Gods sake! A student can't be a Master if they compare themselves all the time!!! Stop pushing yourself!" - that was the last straw for Y/N to get on her tippy toes and kiss Cathleen on the lips.

The bigger woman gasped and hugged the more petite one as they both kissed softly. Cathleen muscly arms hugged her girlfriend's more smaller frame, it felt like it was thanking Y/N with her body languaje. When the sweet kiss ended, the now smiling cadet cupped her girlfriend' cheek, a gesture She always makes.

"I'm sorry doll.. i don't know what happened to me.. i'll make up to You, just wai-.. - she was interrumpted by Y/N kissing the bandage in Cathleen's cheek. "You Are so selfless, Cathy.. that makes You shine like a Star"

At the end of the day, they ended up cuddling on the couch, eating Cathleen favorite gummies. And She couldnt be happier of having Y/N in her life, her little Star...

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Hi guys! I hope You liked it! Please do tell me if i made a typo or grammatical error, i'm always learning. Anyways, if You have a idea for a One Shot like this please write a comment, i appreciate the feedback.

[markets]

what happened with the ex bf that in the timespan of a week you’re not even friends? cool if you don’t wanna share but i’m just curious and we both know you like oversharing

"we both know you like oversharing" HEEELP I LOVE YOU ANON. idk if ive blogged about this before but basically inn like december i came to terms wih the fact that my ex and i wouldnt get back together and decided to just focus on being friends. however in late january my then-friend told me that he had told her that he had been thinking of getting back together with me for about a month, over the span of like three weeks maybe she told me a bunch of things he'd say about me and what he was thinking of doing. then we went on a trip for this math competition and flirted so heavily, i wonnt go intto dettails but it got to the point where this other guy there fully tthoughtt we were together, i also heard some things he was saying about me from my then-friends ex boyfriend who i had been good friends with since they started dating. the most relevant one is him saying that things were good but he couldnt let himself like me which what the fuck.

however at that poinnt my then-friend blew up at her ex for being close friends with me even though she is close with MY ex (And very fucking annoying about it mind you. think "omg stoooop give me my phone back") and id never said anything about it to either of them (except for when i nicely asked her her to be less touchy with him in my vicinity back in december aka peak trenches and she said she would and then didnt do it). her ex would point this hypocrisy out to her but i told him to be careful cuz i could see her twisting that against me and making it out to seem like i was jealous of her and my ex.

THat becomes relevant in a moment but it wasnt relevant at the time, the flirting tapered off as soon as we got back home but i was so very confused and really wanted to ask him about it. however college decisions were close to coming out and i didntt want to add more stress to everything he was dealing with (i was not stressed because of the wonders of early decision #roll******) so i decided to wait around a month. in that time he started pulling away a little more and i chalked it up to some other things in his personal llife but still got second thoughts about asking about the whole thing, eventually i decided to do it but make it clear i was askinng for the sake of our friendship and my own sense of idk closure for everything that had happened back then since i doubted anythting romantic would come of it (though it was still a hope i had) but i could see our friendship suffering because of it.

this weekend i asked him about it and he basically denied all feelings for me even back then which i knew wasnt true and said he that he hadnt felt comfortable being my friend for a while knowing i still saw him romantically (which he only knew because he flirted with me AND I FLIRTED BACK). He also cited the deterioration of my friendship with that onne girl and its effects on his friendships with her as a reason why he didnt want to be my friend even though i have played nice with her and the whole reason why i do not like her is her hypocrisy and selfishness and horrible treatment of her ex boyfriend and not the fact that shes friends with MY ex

So yeah lol. had i known this last weekend i wouldve said fuck it and flirted with that guy BUT WELL!!!!!!!!!! I was crushed for some time and still sort of am but who cares honestly. Soon i will graduate and none of these cunts will ever see me again

[bridgyrose]

Could I request roleswap fallen petals if that's alright

(as you wish)

Cinder slammed a binder down on the cafeteria table and grinned. “I have everything planned out for this semester!” 

“That better not be one of my binders,” Weiss said, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know how I feel about you stealing my things.” 

“I didnt steal it.” Cinder sighed and flipped through a few pages. “I borrowed it. But that doesnt matter! What matters is that I have everything planned out for this semester!” 

“Cin, I’m glad you’re getting into all of this, but maybe you should tone it down a bit.” Yang sighed and shut her notebook. “I think I’m going to finish lunch in the library.” 

“Wait Yang-” Cinder sighed and slowly sat down and pushed her binder back to Weiss as Yang left. “-and you’re already gone…” 

“I’ll go follow her,” Blake said as she packed her books up. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.” 

Cinder nodded and pushed her tray to the side. “I was hoping I could help her take her mind off things.” 

“The only thing that’ll do that is if you can help her find her sister.” Weiss pulled her binder to her and started to flip through the pages, stopping at a missing poster. “Which… you had planned for us to do.” 

“I asked my mentor to help me search for her. Even if we cant find her, then it would at least be something that might be able to help Yang. She was there for me when Rhodes dropped me off with her dad and I… wanted to try to return the favor.” 

“Between helping Blake with the White Fang and Yang with finding her sister, when were you planning for classes?” 

Cinder shrugged. “Whenever it suited me, I guess.” 

Weiss frowned. “I’m not going to let you fail out!” 

“And I wont!” Cinder looked up at Weiss with a soft smile. “I promised that I’d be a good teammate to you which means I wont let you down. Besides, if you help me try to find Ruby for Yang, then that should help you get back on a better foot with her after what happened between you and Blake.” 

Weiss glared. “Are you blackmailing me?” 

“No, I’m just trying to keep our team together.” Cinder sighed and reached for the scar along her neck. “You and I started on the wrong foot and since then, you havent exactly worked well with our teammates. And… I get it. I know what Atlas is like and I know you have a lot to prove. So maybe you can start proving yourself now and try to apologize?” 

“I… fine! I'll apologize to Blake but I still dont see how that will help me with Yang.” 

“She’s Blake’s partner. And while you didnt hurt her directly, seeing the way you treated Blake didnt exactly make her trust you.” 

Weiss rolled her eyes. “I’ll try to be better.” 

“Right, then we should get ready to look for Ruby-” 

“And you still need to study!” 

Cinder practically yelped as Weiss grabbed her wrist and started pulling her to the library. “And I will! But Yang needs us-” 

“We’ll help her this weekend when we have more time. For now, you need to make sure you’re ready for Doctor Oobleck’s class. We do not need a repeat of your scores from last year.” 

“And I told you… I’ll… be… fine!” Cinder finally pulled herself out of Weiss’s grip and stumbled back a bit, running into another student before tripping over her own feet. She groaned and sat up, moving to look at the student she hit. “Sorry about that.” 

“Its fine, just make sure you pay attention to where you’re going next time.” 

Cinder paused for a moment as she looked at the other student, her eyes wandering over the girl. Black hair with red streaks, silver eyes, pale skin… she reminded her of the girl on the missing person’s poster, but slightly older. “Dont worry. I will.” 

The girl picked herself up and smiled a bit with a cheerful smile. “Do you know where the visiting student dorms are? I think my team and I got ourselves a little lost.” 

“Yeah, they’re to the left and past the training hall.” Cinder pointed into the direction of the dorms and stood up. Her arm shook a bit as she reached out to offer a handshake. “And sorry about running into you. My name’s Cinder.” 

“Thanks. And Ruby.” 

Cinder slowly pulled her hand back when Ruby didnt take hers. “Maybe we’ll see you around for the tournament.” 

“That’s the plan if we’re lucky.” Ruby turned around to walk off. “And thanks for the directions, Cinder.” 

Cinder stayed frozen in place as she watched Ruby walk off, slowly pulling out her scroll to text Yang. “We’re still going to the library, right?” 

Weiss nodded, a little stunned. “And you still wanted to look for her sister, right?” 

“I… dont think we’ll need to worry about that anymore.”

[princessdreamie]

DBH part 81

After some more looking into it they found out who this person was. He was the adopted son of his aunt and uncle, that boyfriend she from back then. His legal name was Nivan Ferguson (Ni). He changed his (his adopted dad's) last name after he turned 18, after 7 years in their family.

question was, shy did he kidnap her in the first place. From what they knew was that his aunt never contacted his family After she left the country so why would ber son be here.

After some back and forth he took a deep breath and called his estranged family member. Unsurprisingly,she had no idea who was talking to her, even after C told her lime 3 times his name and affiliation with each other.

Once she finally got it, C could already feel her mood Turning from bad to worse. She asked in an annoyed tone what he wanted from her.

C explained that her son was being seen with some monsters, to which she just scuffed: „My boy would NEVER be caught dead with those babarians. Unlike your father we have Standards. So if you excuse me, i have to get to work. Dont call us again!“

C didnt seem all surprised by her attitude. From what he knew from dad, talking about the rest of his family was a taboo in their own little circle. His grandparents he had never had a close relationship with. And the only family he knew was Mt & Se b4 his little brother was on the way.

So that call was a bust. At least he knew that his aunt didnt deny Ni's existence. They must be close enough for them to not talk about about eachother but they still need dome more evidence on this guy.

The PD was doing his job was C & La gave all they had to the police. The police Officers told them not to worry and asked them for the PD's contacts just in case C Wasn't available.

Begrudgingly the boy handed them his phone number while La was waiting in his car. They still had to run some tests, since he was not out of the woods yet.

|The boys eventually found her. Sa was held in a broken down factory, some of the mobsters wanted her mom's information for some reasons (Ni was just enjoying the show on the sidelines btw) but the police & C found her just in time Ni didn't get caught but C is on to him and makes sure he gets what he deserves|

Few weeks later

Mo was playing games on her gaming console as her door bell rang. He parents were not home, they left already for a work emergency. So she was left alone.

Looking through the peephole she was surprised to see who was behind her door. Na was standing there with a wide grin, asking to be let inside.

The wild child didnt think they were supposed to meet today but she et her friend in anyway. No asked her pal what she was here for. Not that she didn't like her being in her place but it was not like her to come by without a heads up. But not even a question in, put some brochures in her face, talking about all the 'cool' stuff they could try this weekend.

The ohrer girl was shocked to see the attractions she had picked out. None of those soind like Na would enjoy. A strange and uncomfortable feeling arose in her gut. „This will be a long day, wont it?”

[ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall]

New York

I woke up today and I was ok

Its sunday and I didnt want to get out of bed so i turned on the tv to put myself back to sleep

but then saw a movie, A rainy day in NY and thought of you and your NY

so i thought i'd watch it to see the scenes of NY that you see and maybe i will feel closer to you

forgetting that it also rained here today

somehow the movie is about a NY guy and a AZ girl, and I am an AZ girl and you and NY guy. why do things work this way.

that the morning i am thinking of you, to put on a movie about your city and the characters are from our regions, makes me want to believe its a sign for us but i know it's not.

no movie or coincidence can change how you see me.

2 weeks ago from tomorrow we started talking

i fell in love with you in about 3 days, yes I know it's a toxic attachment but I dont care, you are just so sweet

you stole my heart like D did and you broke it like D did but I dont want to forget you

you talked to me during a time that my world was so grey after richard.

it was such good company i did not know i missed.

and i guess i accepted it even if it hurts because it takes away the fact that richard is not the last person i had serious feelings for.

and lets me know i can still have these feelings and fall for someone so hard still even after I told myself i had sworn off relationships

you revived something in me i thought i no longer had

you flirted with me and got me to like you and when i started liking you then you told me you were already involved w someone else

at first it hurt and it was disppointing and i felt like i screwed it up for myself again by showing interest too easily and too quickly, and i might be right. maybe i ended the chase for you and i know some people need that for the passion

and i'm sorry but when you messaged me i had to fast reply bc i didnt want you to think i was not interested and i also did not want u to have to wait.

but maybe that is my downfall, caring too much as usual.

even after many heartbreaks i still have not learned my lesson and was so quick to give in to you but you made it feel so good and at my age i am shocked you could still make me feel this way. so in a sense you made me feel young again

but it doesnt matter bc you do not like me like you made me think you like me

but i still like you, we have history, I want to always be your friend and hopefully be some part of your life, even if small

when you told me about her i thought you would leave but you didnt, but then i tried to leave and you told me you didnt want me to disappear bc you didnt disappear on me and you're right

in a way you fought for me and idk why, i want to think theres a part of you that wants me, but if you do, you probably dont want me the same way i want you.

i write this bc i am ok now

before i was not

in the first week i was emotional and confused

over the first weekend i was disappointed by the low amount of contact

by the 2nd week i became accepting

now in the 2nd weekend i am almost back to the state i was before you took me.

except now i am calm and at peace and accepting but with fragments of you

i still crave you but i know very well what this is, it's out of my control and in your hands and i can only set boundaries and set limits and distance myself when i need balancing.

i dont think we will ever be anything

but in my coming down stages i asked myself if i really want to experience you and you experience me

all of my relationships have ended badly and with very bad words and criticisms exchanged, do i really want to learn to hate you like i hate them

we played trials together 8 years ago and were part of the same clan. if we ruin our friendship then it's like all those memories go to waste or disappear

you grew up to be such a smart and aware young man that even i couldnt even resist

my idea of you for many years was the young boy that was chasing the wrong girl that he talked to me about back then and years later was still hung up over her

when i thought of obssessive people for the wrong people, you were one of them that was used as an example

but when we reconnected and the stories you shared it was like we had seen the same struggles, heartbreak, realization and healing and i made myself believe that you were right for me, that you were who i have been looking for and who would finally come to sweep me and make me whole.

as much as you leave me wanting you, craving you and being curious about you, i know my wanting for you is about me and my need to attach. you just turned on that switch for me and it was exhilarating i have no regrets

like the song in the story of kunning palace,

"my heart is broken but i do not regret loving you"

and also

"traveled so far but i still can't forget you"

I just want to run to NY and stand in times square and hope to find your face among millions and dream that when you see me that something will awaken in you that will make you say "shes the one i want" but i know this is my dream

but i no longer expect anything from you, to expect from you would only be torture for me when they go unsatisfied like seeing you online but you dont invite me to play and i'm just waiting

but also richard waits for me to join him and i dont and he sees me online

so we all hurt and yearn for someone's attention in some way and this dating world is cruel.

but since you care about our friend ship it has made me feel better

i am happy you did not ghost me and have been honest with me

i can sleep again, i can be happy again in my world and it is no longer being pushed under the weight of passion, love, confusion, anticipation, longing and hoping.

i thank you for making the decision for us to not ruin our relationship

so today as i write this, i am ok.

[wondermentishere]

not posting this for an audience, but since this a public account… ***TW: EATING DISORDERS***

ive recently accepted that ive had an eating disorder all of my life… my earliest memories of getting ready for daycare wasnt healthy at all. the way i examined and processed my body… tweaked my clothing with the knowledge of how important being desirable was.. i remember learning what being skinny meant and looked like. at daycare, i mustve been like 6 years old. me with a group of girls a couple years older than me were evaluating how flat this one girl’s stomach was. from that moment on, i held my belly tight and flexed in public at all times, a mechanism i know ill carry for the rest of my life. i remember being in my room alone, up late watching cartoons on a weekend eating a big bag of hot cheetos. i stuffed myself so full, i vomited all over my little sister’s trundle trying to make it to the toilet in time. i remember being in the 3rd grade looking at my school pictures, loving how you could see my abs through my tight blue shirt. i remember in the 4th grade, my mom bought us subway and i finished my meal before anyone else even started on theirs. she looked at me puzzled, chuckled then called me a nerd. i cried… that was the beginning of her insulting me as a reflex. she felt bad and asked me if i wanted her to go back to the restaurant to get me more. i declined out of humiliation. back then it didnt matter to me how much i stuffed myself. i was such an active kid that even when i fell asleep with a swollen belly, i woke up so empty it hurt.

5th grade i started making close girl friends for the first time since preschool. they always straightened their hair and thought i should to. boys thought they were cute, but no one liked me in that way. i was the nerdy goofball that didnt know how to groom myself properly. white stuff around my overly poked out lips and boogers constantly in my nose. i made my own outfit for the toderick hall play i was starring as a munchkin in and remember looking down at my clothes and feeling ashamed at how much better the other kid’s costumes were. my mom noticed my demeanor change whenever we were walking up to the venue. she told me not to be self conscious. waiting in the dressing room with all the pretty white girls was the first time i noticed how uncomfortable i am looking at myself in the mirror with other people, specifically women are around me. im still like that to this day. sometimes i submit to exposure therapy and force myself to acknowledge my reflection while im washing my hands. i dont understand why it is so painful for me to do. i remember hugging this boy i had the biggest crush on goodbye the last day of school and he called me dirty and disgusting in front of other people, including my bestfriend, after i walked away. she proudly repeated it back to me later that day. i just felt numb. i didnt let it penetrate me emotionally but i did feel humiliated and annoyed.

i just felt ugly in the 6th grade. kids were mean about my natural hair, i didnt have boobs like the popular girls. i just wanted to fit in and started wearing bows (i never wore bows) and wearing 2 bras to give the illusion of a more developed chest. my deceptive behavior got noticed once in the locker room and my ex bestfriend laughed at recalling the exposure over a decade later (i admit it was pretty funny). whenever puberty started to hit in the 7th grade is when i really started obsessing over maintaining my thinness. i felt so lonely and finally could identify my emptiness watching interviews of sullen musicians i adored. i was looking through pictures from the year before with my mom and she made a comment how i “wasnt boney anymore” like i use to be. that bothered me. i wanted to be as skinny as michael jackson. i wanted a “dancer’s body”. i didnt want boobs. i wanted to wear deep v necks over the flattest chest. i wanted to be on stage.

7th grade i purposefully started skipping lunch. mainly cause for the first time, i finally had friends i could count on to eat with everyday. they rarely ate lunch. we didn’t even go to the lunchroom, we just chilled in the band room during that time. i never had money to eat at school anyway and the lunches my mom packed me were embarrassing to eat in front of everyone. she was kind of a health freak and smushed wheat pb&js in a brown plastic kroger bag always got turned up noses from my peers. ive been embarrassed to eat in front of other people since the subway incident in the 4th grade and the fact i never had anything “cool” to eat didnt help either. sometimes my mom would make me lunch and i would let it sit in my backpack for days. gross shit. my mom sold herbal life and sometimes watery shakes were the only “meal” i was interested in downing for the day. i got my first iphone and had a calorie tracker on it. i would workout hard after karate and step practice, making sure i was in a calorie deficit to set me up for success the next day. i use to love waking up and immediately going to the mirror to admire how skinny i was. i loved my abs.. but still i was never satisfied with my body. this behavior carried over until my 8th grade year.

i remember being weighed for the school’s “Pacer Test” and noting the defeat i felt going from 114 lbs as an 7th grader to 120 lbs. my curves were coming in, my boobs were developing. back in the 6th grade i would wear two bras cause i felt like an outcast, this year i purposely only wore sports bras that i had outgrown at an attempt to bind my chest. i remember taking a break in the bathroom with my friend at a football game we were cheering at. i thought she was paying attention to something else and stopped flexing my bloated stomach for just a moment. she noticed and call it out “oh you got a gut on you”. i immediately sucked it back in and didnt really acknowledge her comment out of embarrassment. sometimes when we would wear the same cheer shirt to school she would go around asking boys who wore it better. i really did not like that shit.

the cycle of binging and restricting was very prominent throughout all of highschool. i finally could scrap up enough money to get pizza and hot cheetos everyday. i didnt have friends to sit with though and felt humiliated sitting in the lunchroom alone or with other random outcasts i barely said a word to. i considered eating in the bathroom like the movies but determined it too gross. so i would scarf down my food and either sit in the library on twitter or search for queer books until lunchtime was over. sometimes i would hide out in the girl’s lockerroom. i was a student athlete and conditioned pretty hard everyday. i remember walking around in the gym after practice and my coach told me i “looked fit” haha. i went back home and told my mom and she agreed with a hint of resentment in her tone. i would body check my stomach routinely. i just didnt like how big my arms were. they were toned but not muscular. they looked fat to me. my armpits to this day dont have that sunken look ive always wanted. i kept my chest strapped down at all times, wearing the same sports bra over and over again.

in 11th grade, i changed highschools and went from the loner jock to the infamous theater kid. i started to care about social injustice alot and was becoming alot more informed. my mind was consistently on learning, making art, and being silly on the internet. alot of the kids were my peers in middle school and the popular girls wanted me in their circle. i felt insecure plus i didnt really like them. they were kinda mean and too self-absorbed & not very funny. i wanted them to like me though and texted them making fun of our classmates and teachers during class. we sat together at lunch… they didnt eat (they had eating disorders too) so i didnt either. they would hangout outside of school and drink together and would never invite me. that shit crushed me even though i didnt really want to drink or even be around them. i just always felt like no one would ever consider me a real friend. i kind of sabotaged our relationship by playing a mean prank on one of the girls who accidentally snapchatted me half nude pics of her meant for a boy she liked. i wasnt attracted to her, but screenshotted the pictures just to get a reaction out of her. i thought freaking her out would be funny since she begged me not to open the chat in the first place. i assured her and her bestfriend that i deleted the pics after and apologized profusely. idk what was wrong with me.

i was always the kid in hella extracurricular activities cause it 1. interested me 2. kept me out the house. i would go all day not having breakfast and maybe a bag of baked cheetos for lunch, rehearse for hours after school then walk miles back home to no dinner because my sisters werent ever considerate enough to leave some for me. my mom never made them either.

sza’s hair really inspired me in 2015. i experimented alot with crochet braids my junior year and took “sexy” pics for the first time on my cracked ipad sitting on my mom’s bathroom floor. i couldve sworn that was my cutest year but my yearbook picture came out so bad a boy who had a crush on me even said it was ugly. i forgot to retake it. embarrassing as fuck.

anyway, i just really detached from the world and my body end of senior through college. boobs strapped down, body checking, working out hard, binging on snacks. i remember looking at freshman pics of me sophomore year with my first girlfriend and she told me i looked like a fatass loser lol. yeah.. i “loved” someone who would talk to me that way. freshman 15 definitely hit hard and i went home winter break with a balloon face. did kickboxing with my mom, lost alot of weight, cut off my hair and went back to school in january with people telling i looked like “a model”. i was starting to get more comfortable with my queerness so was open to more masculine presentation especially since i was hundreds of miles away from my mom and my gf really liked studs. from then on ive been in a cycle of not caring, neglecting myself in the name of freedom, trying new looks and sometimes liking it, constantly cutting my hair due to anxiety and dysphoria, sometimes really caring and craving validation. being feminine just to fit in.

now im at a place where i just want to grow out my hair, work, and starve myself until im 30 pounds lighter tbh. i want to get lost in my head and latch onto my creativity. i want to abandon everyone i know. thats what i want to do and i will. maybe not the abandon part tho cause i actually love my friends. side note: im pretty sure my undiagnosed adhd is a big reason why i binge. cant wait to get treated for that cause trying to control the impulse without medication is torture. plus, i heard stimulants make you lose your appetite :P

[highonthought]

Freakin bumble man 😂

So the dance guy ive been talking to is actually mad fucking fun 🙄😜. I hope these emojis show up on the desktop version

Ok so anyway my last weekend:

Dude im trying so hard to remeber how this weekend started, ive seen him a lot this weekend. Oh ok thats right the vintage market. So i hadnt seen this dude in almost two weeks since the first date we went on. And i wasnt sure if i was going to again at that point, bc our schedules kept not syncing up and he was busy, or i was busy.

I was going to the night Market with bestie and her friend, and this guy texted that day saying “oh you should come see me at the market, im going to be MCing the dance battle.” And i was like worm ok! Im going to that anyway! So us girls go, look around, i say hello to him. He’s doing his thing on the mic, talking to me, doing his thing on the mic. It was cute, he kept coming back to me haha. He would take some steps away to be closer to the sound system bc of the range on the mic. And we’re talking, he asks me what im doing after, i say NOTHING WHAT YOU DOING BBGIRL (but more cool and slick lmao). So he says hes off at 930. I leave and go back to my friends, we walk around and look at the clothes, we leave to get some food, i didnt eat much bc i was hoping to actually go out after with this guy. And ok so like the way he talks, hes very coy, cery go with the flow, and im not always sure what is a joke or if he fr want me (LMAO), so at that point i still wasnt sure if i was going to die anything with him after. But i showed vstie the texts with this guys and she told me that yea, he for sure wanted to hang with me after. So they drop me back off at the market at 930, but wait for me in the parking lot just in case. The plan was for me to go chat up the guy snd see what the move was, then text them and let them know if i was staying or going with them. BUT, i felt bad about making them wait that i texted them “ok u can go” before i even talked to the guy. Dude, i was nervous to go up and talk to him again bc he was around all his friends and i was now ALONE. If he had said no, the plan was for me to just uber home bc bestie had driven me there. But ANYWAY, i say hi, he says hes going tonhelp cleanup the dj and aound setup and i can meet up out in the lobby after im done shopping. And i was like OMG YAAAYY (on the inside, bc i really like him, he rizzed me tf up, hes cery goody and silly and fun to be around).

And we go to dennys after. Dennys was fun, hes a good chat. I hate when people kill conversations and he wasnt doing that. OK but then after Denny’s, he drives me home, and he made a joke of like oh you should try and sneak me in and I said OK for real. So I go inside my house and double check if my family is asleep, they weren’t so I go back to his car to say goodbye And as a joke, I said to him that he could come back in like two hours, basically at 2 AM, and he could sneak in then. And he said OK! He really said yeah OK I could do that! So he stayed in the area with some friends and then he came back at two fucking AM LMAO. And I did sneak him in . And rachel got some ACCCTIOOOON. Quietly bc my parnets were still asleep in their room. And he stayed the night until 7 am -oop 😅😳. I had sonmuch fun, hes so cute and hes a big cuddler. Bros got pretty ass eyes fr. I like, coulndt sleep tho bc i was scared i would sleep through my alarm and not sneak him back out in the morning hahah. Ok so this was all friday night, and i snuck him out saturday morning.

On SATURDAY! my friends invite me to go out to the bars at night and I do. And I was texting that guy, and told him that I would be kind of near his city, and he said that he might come and see me. So I told my friends that, I told him that I might dip towards the end of the night to go be with this guy. But the bar we ended up going to was kind of farther away and guess what? He still came to get me 💀. I was so excited and happy he was literally like 25 minutes away so he did he came and he got me and we drove around, got jack in the box, and we made out and he took me back to where my car was parked in my friends place, and I don't know what we said but we ended up deciding to get a motel, so we go to Motel 6 and Rachel has another rendezvous and she was happy as fuck. ANNNDDD in the morning too. Anyway hes good in bed prrrrrr 😅😂😂😂. It was actually so fun not having to be quiet. He has really nice lips. Ok so that was saturday night to sunday morning when we checked out of the hotel

ON SUNDAY, he went to work, but he works in my city and he texted me wanting to hang out after he got off work :))) 😇😇. He brought us food from the place he works at, and we had a little picnic at the park and walked around. Dude im so mad, hes super cute and i cant stop thinking abouuuttt himmmmm. Im just going through this weekend over in my head bc BROO STOOOPP. I really, i cant. I wont him 👁️ 👄 👁️. But, ive known him barely two weeks lol, so we’ll see. Im having a lot if fun tho :)

[selsbrainfarts]

Once again I'm sitting here, like any other evening since the last few weeks.

My mind is racing but empty at the same time.

I feel like theres cotton balls in my skull.

I dont know what to feel anymore.

Is it emptyness?

Solitude?

Grief?

Anger?

Or just a combination of it all, overwhelming me beyong sanity?

I guess thats the one.

I dont know what everything always has to happen at the same time, but it always does.

And every time I wish I could just escape this shithole of a planet.

Escape my fate.

But no matter how far I'd run, it will always be there.

I dont have any solution to this all.

I can just wait and try to numb myself on the weekends.

Yet the numbing never happens, no matter how sensless I drink myself, it donesnt go away.

I need distraction from my private life, yet work is just as crippling as the rest.

It seems like its always me, messing up, being involved, takeing the brunt of anger from everybody.

I know I'm a waste of space, I know I'm slow, I know I'm lazy, I know I'm dumb.

I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm disgusting.

I know.

I try to just avoid everybody because my heart cant take any more at the moment, but everybody seems to follow me just to take their anger out on me.

The problems I have just keep piling up, I dont even know what to work on first.

I want to visit grandma everyday, i know she doesnt want to die alone, but I cant bare it.

I love her so much and I owe it to her but my heart feels like it tearing out of my ribcage.

Grandpa believes he will die before her and the thought pulls the floor from under me.

I know he has had a lot of health issues lately but I didnt think...

They are my world, my safe place.

I cant bare to think about losing them.

Not so close together, not now, not ever.

But its part of life.

I know.

And all things that would usually distract me from that pain just pain me even more.

Because everything needs to happen at once.

I used to seek comfort in my animals.

But my bunny died this summer and my cat now has dementia and hates me all of a sudden.

Its rare she wants me near her.

I used to talk to my friends, I still do but I cant talk honestly.

Not sober.

And even drunk, its not the whole truth.

Because I dont want to burden anybody when they have just as many problems.

And then I find myself, sitting in the cold rain, listening to them and feeling my heart rip even more.

The words want to come out.

But I wont let them slip.

Pathetically enough, I'm still in love with him.

Despite receiving no interest shown towards me.

Despite him showing clearly how utterly stupid he finds me.

Despite not having exchanged a single word for almost 5 months now.

Despite being told and knowing it would never work.

He likes pretty girls, and I am not that.

He was in love with my best friend and she is the polar opposite of me in terms of appearence.

Its so pathetic but thats quite fitting for me.

I'm stuck in this feeling.

Wishing he'd be here, hug me close and just tell everything will be ok.

But it wont happen.

My mom is as bad as always, makeing me feel awful whenever she can.

Makeing fun of my feelings, destroying my comfidence day by day.

Reminding me that I'm not enough for her.

And I know when she is feeling low again and is deep in her manic depression, I will be the one caring for her.

But whenever I'm low or sick, I get even more attacked and hurt by her.

Because I cant do everything she wants me to.

And my dad?

He was honest to me, confessing he had a mental breakdown or even suffers from burnout.

Because even the one person in my life I counted on, knew was strong crumbles at some point.

The approaching death of my grandma pulls him back to 10 years agon, when his mother died.

And thats what broke the great wall of built up feelings and trauma.

I cant bare to see him so empty, broken and hopeless.

I want to help him so badly, but how does one help another when they cannot even help themselfes?

[indigo474]

May 25th 2023- a little bit better than i use to be-

so much so much so much- i really should write more. i read a news story today about kids being neglected and abused. why are people so horrible? those poor babies- it makes me sad. exactly why i don't watch the news. i had someone in work tell me "they " are shooting people on 95. Really? I had no idea. she looked at me in disgust and said you really need to be more informed. I don't need to hear and read about what a fucked up world we live in to know what a fucked up world we live in. Being informed makes me sad and scared- 2 things i am trying desperately not to be. Work is going good. it's so much nicer going to work as the boss-so much better. My boss- the Ice Queen, likes me. I can tell and i am grateful. We are going out shopping together for the company picnic. I'm in charge. HA. People dislike me for doing my job. A lot of people are incapable of taking responsibility for their actions. they blame me for doing MY job- the truth is- if they did their job- i wouldn't have to do mine. the Ice Queen is MOODY- I'm not sure if she is still drinking- she tends to hide in her office.

I should be getting my check-any day now. i asked MAds if she would mind moving out of our town. she's open to it-as long as we are safe and happy. i don't want to leave this town.. but i have to do what is best for me and if i cant find a place to live-- BUT i keep telling myself that SOMETHING wonderful is going to happen and the PERFECT place will be mine- i have to believe it. whats that saying- whats meant for me is mine- whats meant for me won't pass me by-

James went hard on me tonight. My knee pain is gone- i started taking a supplement- i use to take it and stopped and just started again and it works. i finally mentioned to james that during my cycle its harder to lift. Because it is- there is a huge difference. it wasnt weird to him. yeah its true- but we cant use that as an excuse- his words. tonight he upped everything-benched 105. i'm going to be sore tomorrow, i only squatted 175 this week. i need to get my ass into the gym and do my workout over the weekend. James shared a lot about himself tonight. he paid off his student loans, is getting a new car- not sure what kind- skipped a vacation with his buddies to Puerto rico because he lost 1200 on a bet- he even got out the dry erase marker and drew me pictures so i could understand what he was talking about. UFC and basketball- from what he said, and drew - it was just unbelievable how he lost the bets and he thinks its the universe telling him he shouldn't bet. he said it made him sick. he's a good person. i can tell. Kika was tired tonight- she didnt even bark when i walked up. she's such a good girl. we played a little.

my friend in work-the one who i think is on drugs and never talks about her husband. she told me her husband is dumb and useless. she's always saying she would be fine if she only had some xanax. dont say it dont say it. for months he same thing- i would be fine if i had xanax- dont fucking say it. if i had xanax i would be fine---- i know a dr. she use to see him, she called that afternoon and got herself an appointment. today she comes in and is talking so fast- too fast. i use the term friend loosely. this should be interesting- maybe she's right- maybe all she needs is xanax.

i spent all day last saturday watching porn and masturbating. i got myself a new vibrator - its dam near perfect. quiet -

im sure there is soooo much more to write about. i am tired. got my friday shift changed for the summer-every other friday im workiing 9-6. this will work out good- i can still run after work. the ice queen likes me-thank God- the right people like me-its more important i like myself-

[loversdomain]

its pretty good!! way better compared to my other job i had last year, i was a waitress/front of house staff in a hotel for minimum wage and it was a fancy one too see the customers were horrible and chefs creepy (creepy john is what i called the weirdest one) but the people who own it are actually nice which is a bonus!!!

yeah thats what im slightly worried about, originally i was gonna work tuesdays, fridays AND weekends but decided to not work fridays so that i could have alot least one entire free day in college. and tomorrow is gonna be great bc since my tutor period was cancelled bc of the fire i have 6 hours of free periods which ill use to do most of my work if not all!! bc i have work early on saturday and im going to see a taylor swift string quartet tribute so ill be getting home late since its far from me :)) but im excited nonetheless!!

OH MY GOD. right so i have this "friend" el, and she was one of my closest friends since abt 2019/2020?? she literally helped me out of one of the worst friend groups ive been in ever and introduced me to friends i still have today. like literally my bestfriend for years- then when the second quarantine hit and we were starting year 11 mocks, she got ill and missed alot of school and when she came back she started being quite distant with us. THEN its the last exam and me and the 3 other friends in the friend group (there was me, el, 2 other girls and one who was slowly joining our group) were going for a picnic- and she declined coming bc she was busy (we then saw her in morrisons afterwards bc she told a little fib) THEN over summer she doesnt talk to us once, deactivates the socials, unfriends us on EVERYTHING and leaves all the groupchats (even the inactive ones). so we're all confused (and i was upset and a little angry) abt why she'd drop us out of nowhere.

but a few months have gone by now and i get a notif from snapchat that someone in my contacts has recently joined snapchat... ITS EL. omg what is going on. so i still missed so i added her not expecting an add back but she did the other day. NOW this is embarassing for me bc its so annoying but basically we start talking abt school and whatever and she says she basically just stopped speaking to everyone from school except this one girl called abi (i sat there in shock bc ik u wont get it but it is just so random) but anyways idc happy for her (not really) BUT THEN she says "its crazy how much everything has changed" and i go "yeah omg ikr, like i missed talking to you"

this is my embarrassing downfall like wtf. you would think she'd reply (even if she didnt mean it) "yeah i missed speaking to you to!!". no. that is not what was said. INSTEAD SHE GOES "awwww thats so sweet!" i want to kms. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭 this close to deleting the message, like that is so????

p.s !!!!! OH MY GOD MY MUM AND FAD CALLE FME AND MY SISTER TO THE LIVING ROOM AND WERE SEEING RUPAUL WERQ THE WORLD TPUR IN OVTOBER OMGGD (okay bye now)

omg u just posted omg omg omg ALSO I FINALLY GOT A JOB!!!!! WOOOOO!!!! okay okay im going to read it in a sec AH

AAAAAHHH!!! CONGRATS MJ!!! that’s amazing omg :’) gathering that your trial shift went well then??!!

[blessedtobebangtan]

Will you do one of those Instagram things where you and Dominic are a couple 🫶🏻 Plesss

a/n i have never done one of these before, so i hope i did it right!! love you all soooo much and stay safe 🫶🏽

-

ynluvsyou

liked by alexademie, oliviarodrigo, and 577,914 others

ynluvsyou my drummer boy and food are all i need💋

view all 67,341 comments

domsdoll could they be any cuter ?? i don’t think so 😌😌

whoreforyn WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN FOR HAPPINESS 🥹

dominicfike i fucked her after this:)

ynluvsyou i think im gonna report you 😘

dominicynxo sleepover on the highway !!🥰🥰

sydney_sweeney literally the cutest couple <3

@ynluvsyou and you’re the sweetest ever😘

fikefuckers MARRY HER @dominicfike

ynsofine if he doesn’t i will 😩

. . .

ynluvsyou

liked by zendaya, jennierubyjane, and 599,259 others

ynluvsyou a picnic date with this fine mf 💗 and i stole his bunny 😋

view all 75,765 comments

zendaya you were my gf first 🙂

ynluvsyou i told you we can still be friends 🥹

allfordominic he has the hottest girlfriend i swear 😩😩

euphoria invite us to the wedding 😍

jennaortega happy to see you happy 💗

ynarchives my heart will forever belong to you 🫡

@ynluvsyou and i will forever cherish it 🥰

sluts4dom i really don’t know who tf is hotter

dominicfike i want mr.bodak back by tonight😀

ynluvsyou no can do 🥰 he’s mine now!

. . .

ynluvsyou

liked by jacobelordi, arianagrande, and 614,115 others

ynluvsyou nothing says i love you more than the middle finger 🥰

view all 279,368 comments

qtdominic dom’s smile is absolute serotonin

ynluvsyou it really is! ☺️

badbitches4yn I LOVE ALL THIS CONTENT THIS COUPLE GIVES US 😋😋

xoxoyn icons living 🙌🏽

domsdoll not the guitar in the backseat 😂

alexademie my wife looked mighty fine last night 😍

@ynluvsyou please come see me !!

dominicfike i was simply saying i fucking love you 🫶🏼

ynluvsyou i fucking love you more dummy 🥲

. . .

dominicfike

liked by anguscloud, sabrinacarpenter, and 700,321 others

dominicfike best pussy on earth 🏆

view all 89,456 comments

maudepatow our girlfriend is the prettiest 🥹

ynluvsyou i love you❤️

xoxoyn NO TF HE DIDNT 🤯🤯

@ynluvsyou girl my jaw just dropped, i fear he’s lost his mind

@dominicfike all for you🫡

fike4lifebitch we love to see dom simp 🥺!!

anguscloud yn nine months later 🤰🏽

dominicfike you already know 🤝

whore4yn SEE now this is the content i signed up for 😍😍

domsdomain PLEASE TELL ME HE MEANS THE CAT 😀

ynismylife well time to go play out in traffic 😋

jennierubyjane not my innocent yn 🙂

. . .

dominicfike

liked by ynluvsyou, stormreid, and 766,113 others

dominicfike took my baby out to a public garden and then we slept for the rest of the day :)

view all 91,234 comments

hunterschafer may have to steal yn for the weekend, i miss her tooo much 😕

@ynluvsyou please take me 😩

calveinklein i see a couple photo shoot in your near future 😍😍

slutmeoutyn i-is she n-naked 😧

@dominicfike she wouldn’t let me post the other pictures i took of her, but trust she looked just as beautiful 😏

ynarchives if she isn’t pregnant at this point then she is about to be 😟

ynluvsyou thank you for a beautiful date fucker 😈

@dominicfike fucker now, but it was sir earlier 😈

domsdoll no way dom hit it before i did 🤧🤧

ynfikeisreal yeah, slept 😏

. . .

fin <3

[yellowsuitcase]

Pansy’s Plot // Draco Malfoy

Request: hi there!! I just wanted to say i absolutely adore your writing, and was wondering if you could write something where the reader and draco are dating but pansy is jealous so she lies and makes draco think you cheated on him but in actual fact you didnt and it’s just super angsty and then fluffy. The prompts i chose were 94, 85, 55, 14, 1 and 34 of course i don’t mind at all if you don’t want to use them or leave a few out :)

A/N: Hello! Sorry this took so long to get written, but I wanted to make sure it was good so I took my time. Also, my arthritis was making writing a very painful process, with that being said, I likely won’t post anything else this week until the weekend because I need to rest my hand. But I hope you enjoy this and to the person who requested, I hope it’s everything you wanted! Side note, I did change some of the prompts to fit the story and I didn’t use 55.

Summary: Pansy tricks Draco into believing his girlfriend (Y/N) cheated on him with Blaise. Angst and fluff follow.

Warning(s): Swearing, physical beating up/hitting, non-consensual kissing/touching

Word Count: 4.6k

Prompts (list): 1, 14, 34, 85, 99

Y/N trudged into the Great Hall, looking miserable. She’d just had the worst potions class of her life. Snape had been teaching them how to make a memory potion, but she had mistakenly added the powdered sage before the stewed mandrake, causing the brew to bubble violently and splatter her Slytherin robes with putrid yellow liquid. It didn’t help that along with having unflattering stains, she now smelled like rotten roses. 

As she dragged herself to the Slytherin table, she felt stares on the back of her head. She rolled her eyes and positioned her chin over her shoulder, instantly zeroing in on the Ravenclaw boy who was pointing his thumb at her and laughing with his mates. With a discreet flick of her fir wood wand, Y/N sent the boy’s noodles flying onto his face with a loud splat. She smirked to herself while tucking her wand back into her pocket. She continued walking and took her place at the table next to her boyfriend. 

“Hello, Draco,” she said sweetly as she plopped down onto the bench. Her boyfriend looked up from his meal.

“Bloody hell, Y/N. Where have you been? And what happened to you?” he asked, his face scrunching up in disgust. It took everything in his willpower not to slide away from his potion covered girlfriend.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late. I fucked up in potions. Don’t worry, though, I’ll get cleaned up after I have my lunch. Besides, I hardly see you anymore with O.W.Ls coming up. I didn’t want to skip out on you,” she explained, shifting her gaze from the food in front of her to Draco's distasteful looking face. 

“What, Malfoy? You don’t like the smell of a failed memory potion?” she questioned while playfully leaning closer to him. Draco couldn’t take it anymore; he scrambled to scoot away from her. This made Y/N begin to giggle. She pushed her head behind her ear and batted her eyelids mockingly. 

“Why won’t you give me a kiss, love?” she asked with pouty lips, her hands making grabbing motions at the blonde boy. He opened his mouth to speak but was promptly interrupted by a snooty voice from across the table. 

“Perhaps it’s because you smell worse than a dirty house-elf, Y/N,” sneered Pansy Parkinson, a dark-haired Slytherin girl who was particularly nasty. Draco watched as Y/N’s back straightened, and her angry eyes flickered to the hard-faced girl. He knew this look well, considering she’d given it to him quite a few times throughout their two-year relationship. If it had been anyone else receiving Y/N’s glare, he might’ve felt a bit scared for them. But this was Pansy, and not many were fond of her.

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion, Parkinson. But please, by all means, let’s hear your thoughts. Frankly, I didn’t think you had any up in that empty head of yours,” Y/N retorted, her voice calm and collected. Pansy’s face went redder than a tomato. She angrily stood up from her seat, leaving her untouched sandwich sitting on the table as she stormed out of the hall, her hair swishing behind her.

Y/N scoffed. “What a wanker. Honestly, hasn’t she got anything better to do?” she questioned, voicing her irritation. Draco slid close to his girlfriend and gently put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them firmly. He felt the tension begin to leave her muscles.

“Don’t let her get to you, love. It’s only Parkinson. Since when did you get so worked up over what she says?” Draco asked. 

Y/N remained silent. Truth be told, Pansy had been tormenting her for nearly a month now. Her usual snide remarks had never caused much of a ruse within Y/N before, but that was until she’d started attacking her and Draco’s relationship. Whenever Y/N would say goodnight to Draco and head up to the girls’ dormitory, she would be greeted by Pansy sitting next to her snotty friends. They’d sit on their beds and snicker when Y/N walked in. They’d always say things like, “You know, Draco only likes you because you’re easy,” or “He pities you, Y/N.” Not to mention all the times they'd called her a slag. At first, she was able to ignore it. But after numerous weeks of hearing such degrading and hurtful words, she’d begun to believe them. 

Telling Draco wasn’t an option. Y/N was ashamed; she didn’t want Draco to be disappointed in her for letting Pansy get to her. The look on his face if she told him would be too much to stomach.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, babydoll?” Draco asked. His girlfriend’s silence was concerning him. Y/N turned to him and forced a smile onto her lips. “Nothing,” she assured him, “I’m fine.”

Draco looked skeptical but dismissed his worry and leaned in for a quick kiss. Y/N kissed him back, but after a few moments, she pulled away. “I’d better go get cleaned up before Transfiguration. McGonagall wouldn’t be pleased if I came in like this,” she laughed while gesturing to her soiled uniform. Draco smiled and nodded. 

“I’ll see you in the common room after dinner, yeah?” he asked as Y/N stood up from the table and pushed her hair out of her face. She willed herself to look up and shake her head, yes. Her boyfriend still looked apprehensive. “See you then,” she choked out as she spun on her foot and made haste to leave the Great Hall. 

--------

Later in the school day, Y/N was leaving her last class, Herbology, and was walking through the mysteriously empty corridors, the thought of a relaxing bath filling her head, when she ran smack into someone. She nearly toppled over from the impact, but the person she’d bumped into quickly seized her arm and pulled her close to their chest. Y/N instantly felt uncomfortable and pushed herself off of the tall figure. Upon looking up, she saw that Blaise Zabini had been the one to save her ass from hitting the floor. She’d never been one to forgo manners as many other Slytherins did, so she nodded her head and said, “Thanks, Zabini.”

He smirked down at her, his white teeth showing. “No problem, sweetheart,” he purred. A cold shudder ran down Y/N’s spine. She didn’t like this situation one bit; however, when she tried to distance herself and Blaise, he grabbed her upper arm and tugged her towards him. She found herself once again pressed up against the boy’s chest. 

“Where you going, babydoll?” he asked. Bile rose up from Y/N’s stomach. When Draco called her babydoll, it was cute, but when the word fell from Blaise’s lips, she felt thoroughly sick. She wiggled her arm, trying desperately to remove it from his grasp. But it was to no avail. His fingers were wrapped around her bicep so firmly she could practically feel the bruises beginning to form.

Y/N continued to struggle against him. “Let go of me, you prat,” she grunted. Blaise didn't heed her words; instead, he stared at something behind her. Y/N looked over her shoulder, but before she had the chance to register who was there, Blaise took her chin in his fingers and forced his lips onto hers. Y/N squealed in shock and tried to use her free arm to push Blaise off. She felt fear overtake her entire body as she fought hard to get out of his clutches. But the boy was too powerful. Luckily for Y/N, she remembered what her father had always told her to do if a male ever tried to violate her. Hit him where it hurts. Without a moment's hesitation, she lifted her foot and rammed her knee into Blaise’s crotch with as much force as she could muster. 

He grunted painfully and instantly let go of her, his hands flying to protect his private parts from any further harm. “Fucking bitch!” he yelled. Y/N backed away from him in fear. She was about to run away when she remembered that he had been staring behind her. Y/N turned around to see Pansy holding a camera in one hand and fresh pictures in the other. Her heart raced when she put two and two together. She’d been set up, and she was angry. Y/N whipped out her wand and pointed it at Pansy's head. Wordlessly, she sent the camera and pictures flying from her grasp and into her own. This didn’t please the Slytherin, who took out her own wand and angrily shouted, “Flipendo!” Before Y/N could react, she was sent flying backward, letting the camera and pictures fall from her hands. 

When she fell, her head hit the floor hard enough that it bounced. She stayed still as pain pulsed through her entire skull. As she was recovering from the intense blow, Pansy strutted over to her. She laughed as she stood over her and glared down. “Look at you—what a pathetic excuse for a Slytherin. Can’t even properly defend yourself,” she sneered. Y/N, fueled by anger, jumped to her feet and shouted the first spell that came to mind without thinking. “Incarcerous!” Ropes shot from the tip of her wand and wrapped around Pansy’s chest and arms, rendering her defenseless and immobile. Adrenaline was still rushing in her bloodstream when a deep voice called out to her.

“Miss Y/L/N,” it bellowed. Y/N’s heart sank; she recognized that voice to be Severus Snape’s. Sighing, she tucked her wand into her robe and glanced to her left to see the greasy-haired professor. His robe was flowing behind him as he walked rapidly towards her. “Detention,” he declared. Y/N knew better than to argue; the last time she tried, she’d only earned herself another week of writing lines in Snape’s office. After nodding to her potions professor, she turned to go but then spotted the camera. It was in Blaise’s hands. He simply smirked at her and sauntered away. 

No, no, no, Y/N thought as her heart sank. She felt as though she was rooted to the stone floor. It was obvious what Pansy and Blaise were planning to do with those photos. They had thought this out; they were going to show them to Draco. After she realized the shit she was in, Y/N knew there was only one thing she could do at this point. Get to Draco before they did. 

She bent her knees and took off sprinting through the hallway, determination pumping through her body. But she was stopped short by the sound of her name coming from Snape. Reluctantly and defeatedly, she willed her feet to slow down. “Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Snape called out to her. Y/N spun around slowly, a grimace plastered to her face. “My dorm,” she said uncertainly; her statement sounded more like a question.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be coming with me to my office to serve your detention.” Y/N grumbled to herself angrily. She still couldn’t understand why Snape was never as nice to her as he was towards the rest of the Slytherin house. Y/N watched as Snape freed Pansy from her restraints. She got to her feet and thanked her head of house before strolling down the corridor, making sure to leer at Y/N when she passed. The urge to sock her in the jaw was strong, but Y/N refrained and followed after Snape, hoping to get detention over with as soon as possible.

--------

Draco was fiddling with a stray thread on his sweater when Pansy sat down next to him. He gave her a look. Pansy had a devilish smirk on her face. “Hello, Draco,” she cooed. The blonde shifted his weight so that he was farther away from Pansy. “What do you want?” he questioned. “I’m waiting for Y/N.”

Pansy’s head fell back as she let out a shrill laugh. “You won’t give a damn about her once you see this,” she declared cheerfully. Draco looked at her quizzically. “See what?” he hesitantly asked. Pansy wiggled her eyebrows and reached into her pocket. Slowly, she pulled out two pictures and passed one to Draco. His eyes studied her face before they downshifted to the photo in his lap. Draco’s confusion only grew when he saw what the picture was showing. Y/N and Blaise were pressed up against one another. Her hand was touching his chest, and he was caressing her cheek. 

“What the fuck is this, Parkinson?” Draco spat violently. Pansy said nothing; she only handed him the second photo. Draco snatched it from her; his breathing stopped when he looked at it. It was a photo of them kissing. Blaise and Y/N had kissed. Draco felt betrayed, deceived, hoodwinked, you name it, he felt it. Questions began to flood his brain. How could she do this? How long had she been seeing Blaise? Was he not good enough for her? Had he done something to upset her? Panic began to rise within Draco.

“She’s been cheating on you for quite some time, Draco. I was going to tell you sooner, but I knew you wouldn’t believe me without proof,” Pansy said sweetly. She tentatively put her hand on Draco’s shoulder and began to rub up and down soothingly. He barely registered her touch as his world began to crumble. His heart was totally and utterly broken. He couldn’t think he couldn’t breathe. Nothing made sense to him at that moment. 

“This must be so hard for you, Draco. I’m so sorry. But look on the bright side, now you can get rid of her. You have proof that she cheated. There’s no way she can deny what she did,” Pansy said a little too excitedly. But Draco paid her no mind; his eyes still hadn’t moved from the photographs in his palms. 

“Where is she?” he asked through gritted teeth. Pansy sighed dejectedly. “Well, she attacked me in the hallway, but Snape caught her. I suspect she’s still in detention, but—” Pansy was cut off by Draco springing to his feet, the photos in his tight grip. “Where are you going?” she asked him; he was at the door. Without looking back, he said, “To find her.”

“Draco! Wait!” Pansy exclaimed, but Draco was already gone. 

Snape’s office wasn’t far; it was in the dungeons along with the Slytherin common room and potions classroom. Draco’s heart was racing as he stormed through the hallways. He had no plan of action; he just knew he had to find her. Millions of possibilities ran through his head, but he didn't stop to ponder any of them. He rounded a corner and felt his breath catch in his throat. There she was. She looked distraught. When her eyes found Draco, she walked towards him immediately. Draco didn’t move from his spot. He let her come to him. When she reached him, she stared at him intently. A few moments of heavy silence passed before she decided to test the waters. “Draco?” she asked hesitantly.

“How long?” he retorted.

“How long? What do you mean?”

“Don’t play fucking dumb, Y/N. How long have you and Blaise been together, huh?”

Y/N’s face paled. “Draco, it is not what it looks like. Whatever Pansy told you isn’t true.”

Draco laughed. “She didn’t tell me. She showed me,” he replied in a strangely calm voice. Y/N felt tears spring to her eyes as Draco harshly shoved the photographs into her hands. She reluctantly looked down at the images of her and Blaise. She knew it looked terrible, but she was determined to make Draco believe her. 

“What do you have to say for yourself? I mean, seriously, was I not good enough for you? Is that it?” Draco asked. Hurt was audible in his voice.

Y/N felt her heart shatter. “Draco, don’t talk like that, of course, you’re good enough for me. You’re more than enough. Please, you have to trust me, you have to believe me. I would never cheat on you; they set me up.” Y/N pleaded. Her eyes were wide with fear.

Draco scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t lie to me, don’t make up stories. You cheated, and you didn’t care about the repercussions. Did you ever care? Was I just a game, just a toy for you?” He asked, his voice cracking.

“Of course I cared about you, Draco, I still do. I never fucking stopped caring about you... About us. Draco, I love you, please believe me, please let me explain,” she begged. But Draco wasn’t having it. He took a step backward; she took one forward. Draco clenched his fists. “Get away from me. We’re done.”

Y/N began to panic. “No, no, Draco, listen to me. Please don’t leave, please—”

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up! I don’t give a damn what you have to say. I don’t want to hear from you again, I don’t want to look at you. Do you understand me? Stay the fuck away from me,” Draco commanded. He continued backing up. This time, Y/N stayed put. Tears fell from her cheeks as she watched her lover leave. She felt her legs begin to tremble. She couldn't believe this was happening. It had only been a few hours ago that she had given him a good morning kiss. How had they ended up in this situation so fast? Her legs continued to shake, and eventually, she collapsed onto the cold floor. Sobs racked her body. 

-----------

A few weeks later, Draco was sitting in his usual spot in the Great Hall. In Y/N’s place, however, sat Pansy. She was leaning on her hand and gazing at Draco mindlessly. Truth be told, it made Draco a bit uncomfortable. But he did his best to ignore her as he finished up his supper. The past week had been extremely hard for him. He’d hardly gotten any sleep due to the fact all he could think about was Y/N. The look on her face when he’d ended things was burned into his mind. She’d looked so heartbroken, almost as if she was the one who was hurting. Draco knew better than that; he knew he was the one who’d been deceived. He was the one who’d been cheated on, for crying out loud. If anyone was hurting, it was him. 

Every time he saw an orange, her favorite fruit, he’d feel his heart clench. Whenever he’d pass the astronomy tower, he’d be reminded of all their time spent up there. The worst, however, was seeing her in the hallways. It hurt beyond belief to see her with Blaise. It just so happened that every time Draco saw them, Blaise's arm was around her waist. It made him sick to his stomach.

“You feeling alright, Dray?” Pansy inquired, pulling Draco out of his thoughts. He nodded and continued to pick at his shepherd's pie. “You don’t look, alright,” Pansy pushed further. Draco slammed his fist onto the table, making some fellow Slytherins irritated. He ignored them and glared at the girl next to him. “I found out a week ago that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me. Sorry, I’m not my usual fucking self,” he snapped. Pansy looked disturbed by his angry outburst and decided to remain silent for the rest of their meal.

Draco remained quiet as well; he didn’t like talking anymore. Hell, he didn’t like doing anything anymore. He felt so empty without her. She gave his life joy. Bullying first years and Harry Potter wasn’t the most fulfilling activity, neither was burying himself in his studies. But when Y/N was present, he was happy; he was important. Without her, he felt worthless. 

Just then, Draco noticed the couple themselves walking towards the doors of the Great Hall. Blaise’s hand was wrapped around Y/N's arm. She looked a bit disgruntled. When the pair passed Draco and Pansy, Y/N made eye contact with the blonde boy. Her eyes seemed sad, pleading almost. This intrigued Draco more than he cared to admit. He watched them leave, waited a few seconds, then stood up from his seat.

“Draco, where are you going? You haven’t finished your dinner,” Pansy whined. He chose to ignore her and follow after his former lover instead. 

When he walked through the doors, he headed for the stairs to the dungeons. He knew Y/N would always go straight to the common room after dinner; he could only hope that was still true. Draco could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he raced down the stone steps. He wasn’t quite sure what had possessed him to follow after the girl who cheated on him, but there he was running after her.

When he got to the bottom of the staircase, he became acutely aware of the lack of people in the Hogwarts basement. Usually, Slytherins would be lurking around every corner, but not tonight. It was too quiet for Draco's liking. He willed himself to calm down. Once he did, he heard the sound of hushed voices coming from his right. He quietly hastened down the dark corridor until he came to the end of it. “Leave me alone,” a familiar voice said. Draco knew it was Y/N, he felt his heart jump upon hearing her, but He stayed hidden behind a wall and urged himself to open his ears to the conversation around the corner.

“You and Parkinson have already ruined my relationship. Can’t you just leave me be now? I thought you were just helping her get those photos; why are you still bothering me?” Y/N asked. She sounded exasperated.

“Pansy did pay me well for those pictures, but I’m afraid I’ve taken a liking to you, sweetheart. You’re just too pretty to pass up.”

After a few beats, Y/N replied with a quiet, “Don’t touch me.” Anger began to boil within Draco, but he didn’t let his presence be known just yet. He wanted to continue eavesdropping on their conversation. 

“What’s wrong, babydoll? Don’t like me?” Blaise asked tauntingly. Draco clenched his fists in an attempt to control his anger. But he knew it was only a matter of time before he lost his temper. 

“Well, no shit Zabini. You fucking assaulted me and—” Y/N was cut off by a loud slap. This set Draco off; he launched himself off the wall and rounded the corner, wand out, and raised. Y/N and Blaise were shocked to see him here, but Blaise quickly masked his surprise and put his hands behind his back.

“Ah, Malfoy. Fancy seeing you here,” he said. Draco stormed up to him and pressed the tip of his wand to Blaise’s throat. He withdrew his hands slowly while staring at the wand, fear in his eyes. “Hey man, what the fuck are you doing?” he asked in a wavery voice.

“Did you hit her?” Draco asked. His voice was dark, his pupils were tiny as he glared at Blaise. The tall boy didn’t reply. Draco pressed his wand further into his neck. “Look at her, Zabini. Her cheek is burning red; I know you see it. So let me ask you again, did you fucking hit her? And don’t lie to me, you piece of shit.” Draco seethed. Y/N watched the exchange between the boys with terror on her face. She felt anything but safe.

Blaise gulped. “She was acting like a bitch,” he shrugged. Draco didn’t hesitate. “Petrificus Totalus!” Blaise fell backward onto the floor with a loud thud; he was now frozen. Draco stood over him, steaming as he tucked his wand into his pocket and reeled back his fist. “Draco, no!” Y/N yelled. But Draco was blind with rage. He rammed his fist into Blaise’s cheek. Y/N cried out for him to stop, but he hit him again and again. Blaise didn't make a peep as he was forced to endure Draco's brutal punches. Y/N looked on with tears streaming down her face. She didn’t try to stop him for fear he would turn on her. 

Once Draco was satisfied with the pulp he had beat Balise into, he released him from his invisible bonds. The boy scrambled to his feet and ran off to the Slytherin common room, not wanting to test Draco’s patience any further. Draco watched him go as he examined the blood on his knuckles. At last, he and Y/N were alone. The blonde boy turned to Y/N. His stomach dropped when he saw her tear stricken face. Her eyes were filled with fear as she peered up at him from her spot on the floor. Draco hesitantly crouched down. 

“Y/N… it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he said softly. Y/N began to cry even more. Draco felt his stomach churn with regret, and he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Y/N.

“I didn’t cheat o-on you. Parkinson pu-put Zabini up to it. I didn’t kiss him willingly,” she stuttered, her body still rocking with sobs. Draco felt like a complete arsehole. He should've just let her explain that night. If he would've only heard her out, they could've avoided all of this.

 Draco gently reached out his hand and waited until Y/N placed hers on top of it. He intertwined his fingers with hers. The warmth from her touch was a stark contrast to the icy feeling of his. He pulled her hand close and softly kissed it. “I believe you, love. I’m sorry I didn’t before, but I do now. Please forgive me.”

Y/N rubbed her nose and gradually opened her arms. Draco pulled her into a much-needed hug. He pressed his face into her shoulder and relished in the feeling of her arms around his. Even though it had only been a week, it had felt much longer. So to finally be back in each other’s embrace was like a breath of fresh air.

When they pulled away, Draco caressed her face and, with his thumb, began to wipe the tears from her soft cheeks. He noticed the fading red mark from Blaise’s slap, and he felt his fury begin to return. But Y/N saw this right away. She put her own hands on Draco’s face, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “I’m okay, just a little spooked is all,” she assured him. Draco saw right through her just like she’d seen through him. He knew she was terrified.

“You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, love. You’ve been hurt in so many ways, and I am so sorry. But I’m here now, and I promise you, nobody is going to lay another hand on you, okay? I’ve got you if you'll have me,” Draco said. Y/N smiled and pressed her forehead to his. They remained that way for a few moments before Draco pulled her into his lap. He stroked her hair comfortingly and began to rock her back and forth, calming her remaining tears. 

After a few minutes of this, Y/N turned around in Draco’s grasp. She smiled and reached up to push his hair out of his face. Usually, it would be clean-cut and uniform, but that night’s events had turned it into a messy mop. She chuckled to herself, causing Draco to look at her quizzically. “What?” he asked. Y/N tilted her head and pursed her lips. “You’re just too cute, is all.”

Draco felt blush rush to his cheeks; he buried his face in Y/N’s shoulder yet again. She simply hummed contentedly and pressed a kiss to his head. “I missed you,” she mumbled. Draco lifted his head and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I missed you too, my lovely.”

“Please don’t break up with me again. I was so sad,” Y/N said with pouty lips. Oh, how Draco had missed those. He leaned in for another kiss. “Don’t worry, I was really lonely without you. You’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future,” Draco declared. Y/N giggled. “Good,” she replied. 

And suddenly...everything was okay again. 

[aliwritesss]

~ Labyrinth

Pairings: Eric x reader

Genre: fuckboy au!

Warnings: angst, slightly suggestive, slow burn, swearing

Based on this AU! Highly recommended to read it before you start the series, but can be read alone.

1/? Masterlist

-“… And remember! The deadline for the essay is in three weeks.”- You hear your History teacher’s voice but no one listens to him. The bell just ringed and that meant freedom.

-“ It’s Friday!!! Let’s do something fun.” You hear Kevin’s voice next to you. You thank the heavens and stars to have him in your life, you don’t know what you would have done without him all this time.

-“ What are you thinking?”

-“ Well… You know, everyone’s been on the edge these past months with the exams and all. So Juyeon thought I’d be fun to do a small gathering, only close friends.” He says with the smallest voice and you feel all your body tense up. If you knew one thing is that you couldn’t go to parties, not yet. Not when it’s been so long since you’ve seen him and you’re actually starting to move on. To wake up and not think of him.

-“ It sounds fun! But I think I’m gonna pass this time, I better start working on this assignment.”

-“ Cmon (Y/N), it’s been a month. You gotta go to your old self, I miss you. I miss us having fun.” It pains your heart to hear Kevin, you’d love to have the balls to go to their dorms and be yourself, to dance again till you can’t stand up, to laugh freely but you feel that the spark inside of you has died and you’re afraid that if you go, it won’t light up anymore.

-“ I promise you I’ll go back to my old self. You’ll get back your partner in crime, my little moon.” You say hugging him and exiting the class. -“ Just give me a little bit and you’ll get back your star.”

-“ The world better get ready once the moon and star duo comes back.” He says giving you one of his best smiles and you feel a little bit better. You’ve known him for so long and clicked since then. One day you two were in class and someone said you looked like the team rocket from Pokémon, always together being mischievous. And since then you baptized your friendship as the moon and star duo.

As you walk outside you feel his comment nag you in the back of your head. “Why do I have to feel so bad when he’s doing fine? Was everything a lie? Did he truly love me?” These thoughts have been bugging you lately and you’re starting to get annoyed. You thought you were doing fine but sometimes these dark clouds will come and shake you down. And it seems like today was one of these days.

“ So… Juyeon is doing a gathering huh? Do you realize that it means half of the campus is going, right?”

-“ Yeah… We told him only close people and Changmin said that meant around 50 friends.” He says, rolling his eyes. -“ Thank god we have Sangyeon and Jacob to keep him in check or else It’d be a nightmare.” And that makes you laugh because it’s true, you remember one night you were staying the night in their dorms and suddenly Sunwoo and Chanhee started arguing about the smallest thing. Sangyeon only needed to look at them to make them stop. It was so funny, you don’t want to mess with an angry Sangyeon to be honest.

-“ And… Here we go. I knew it.” You hear Kevin’s annoyed voice. -“ They’re asking me to buy drinks, it seems like more people are coming tonight. I have to go now bubs, but we should do something fun this weekend okay? Just the two of us.” He says while hugging you and you nod. Maybe that’s what you need, to start slowly coming out of your cave.

You start making your way to your dorm thinking about the million things you have to get done in these two weeks and you can feel your anxiety already coming. The pressure you’ve been feeling these past few days it’s getting worse everyday. And the worst of it, it’s that you don’t have anyone to talk about it. Unconsciously, you touch your necklace, feeling a little bit better. You look down to the tiny shiny star and remember the night he gave it to you.

-“ I’ll be your star, ready to guide you even in the darkest times, even when there’s no moon shining.” He said softly in your neck. You smiled at him and looked at the charm. It was a little star filled with crystals. Stunning.

-“ When you feel like giving up, remember that I’ll be here with you. Faintly.” Eric said, touching your necklace.

“Where are you now? Where are you now when I need you the most?” You think for yourself, It’s not like you weren’t starting to move on from him, which you are doing. But you were not forgetting him, and you wish you could.

You wish you could erase all these sweet moments, act like nothing happened. Act like him, cold and unbothered. Why did him have to play you? Was everything a lie? Everything he said, was just a trap to only have fun with you? You couldn’t trust your memories, it seems like you only could remember the good ones.

But what about that night you two had a fight on a party because he was with this girl, laughing and talking the whole night while you were alone? You still remember his words: “ Stop being a pain in the ass, if I wanted to hook up with her dont you think I would have already done it?”. And you being a silly naive girl in love, acted like it didn’t hurt you. Like he didnt had the power to destroy you in matter of seconds if he wanted.

And that was the reason you broke up with him.

Everyone knew you were his girl and god forbid anyone who dared to touch you. But that’s it, you were only that, his girl. He didn’t bother to put a label, you were there for him and that was enough.

-“ Eric what are we doing?”- You asked him the night you two broke up.

-“ What do you mean?”-

-“ What are we doing together? What is this? Are we exclusive? Are we truly in a relationship?”- You asked trembling, you weren’t ready to hear his answer.

-“ Not this again (Y/N). I told you I don’t want to talk about it and you keep bringing this up. I said you are my girl and that should be enough.”-

-“ But it isn’t. It isn’t when there’s a queue of girls waiting for you to get tired of me and drop me like a toy. And I had enough, I need to know what I am to you.” You said sitting in his bed.

-“ You are making me tired with all these questions. I said drop it, (Y/N). You know how I am and still chose to be here with me.”-

-“ I chose you bc you said that you couldn’t do this without me, Eric! You told me that I was special and-.”

-“ So? That gives you the right to be called my girlfriend?”- And that was the last straw. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, it’s like someone snapped you back to reality. Like you just woke up from a beautiful dream and got hit with the true world.

He loved you, but not in the right way.

He cared about you, but not enough.

You got dressed and started to pick yoiur things while crying. You needed to get out as soon as possible, even if it was 3 in the morning.

-“Cmon (Y/N) don’t be like this. I got mad and you know I say things I regret later. Please let’s talk in the morning when we are calm, okay? Babe please-“

-“ Don’t touch me, Eric. I’ve had enough. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep falling in love with you more and more when we are not in the same page. Not even in the same book.”- You said putting on your sweatshirt, well, his sweatshirt now yours.

-“ Are you serious? Are you going to be like this? After all we’ve been through?”-

-“ Exactly, after all we’ve been through you still think I don’t deserve to be your girlfriend. And let me correct you, you’re the one who doesn’t deserve to be my boyfriend. I’m tired of your shit.”

-“ I know you’re angry (Y/N) but I swear if you leave this room that’s it.”- He said staring at you. You gave him one last smile and closed the door. It was so late at night and you decided to bring this topic up… That was a stupid move of you to be honest, but it needed to be done.

You can feel your vision getting blurry with all the tears falling but you don’t care anymore.

-“ Star? Is everything ok?”- you feel Kevin’s sleepy voice coming from the other side of the hallway and you let out a sob. -“ Hey, Hey. What happened bubs? Why are you crying? Where’s Eric?”-

-“ I… I- I think we just broke up.” You said hugging him and starting to sob even harder.

- “ Oh gosh…” He said quietly while stroking your hair.

And after that everything was a blur, you only remember him and Haknyeon taking you to your dorm and sleeping there. Everyone knew what happened because they heard you two arguing but no one could bring the topic up. It was typical of you two to argue, but in a matter of hours everything was cleared. But this time was different and both of you knew it.

This time the damage was done and there was no going back now.

A/N: So it’s finally here!! The first chapter of this little series. Thanks to all of you for liking so much the AU and for telling me what you preferred to see on this series. It’ll be after the break up, but I thought it’d be nice to have a little context of why did the discussion happen and to see the dynamic of the relationship. Honestly speaking, I love Eric’s fuckboy vibes so much.. But still it pains me to see him acting this way :( I apologise for any typo or mistake! And remember you can ask in the comments or dms to be tagged and that requests are open!!

TAGLIST: @asherbl @fairycob @givememunjang

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

hey besties!! here is part 8! Part 8 see's Amelia in a change of colours, her friendship with Jorgi explored more, an awkward Chelsea player and a cheeky Villa boy. Please enjoy & send me your thoughts! Love always, Steph xx

Part 8. | parte otto

word count;  1569 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. next update; Wednesday 11/08 5pm AEST. Updates are three times/week (Monday, Wednesday & Friday)! tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex @obsesseds-world @abysshaven link to fic masterlist here

Landing in the rarely-sunny but always wonderful London town, Amelia was swiftly picked up from the airport by a man in a blacked out Mercedes van and driven away to her new club-appointed accommodation in the royal borough of Kensington and Chelsea. The 24 year old couldn’t help but feel a sense of home resonating through her body. Yes, Italy was also her home for the last 3 years, but there was something in the air in London that really made her believe that this is where she was meant to be.

Whilst happy that her quintessentially-British townhouse was a mere stones throw from Stamford Bridge and her family home just on the other side of the park in Holland Park she was still a 30+ minute commute, without traffic & one way, from Cobham. Beggars can’t be choosers, at least this way she was close to the hustle and bustle of London City, as well as her family and old friends.

A few days had passed since her talk with Fede, her swift departure from bella Italia saw only a small gathering occur at her apartment with some of the juventus boys on the eve before her flight. Constant check-ins from La Cosa Nostra whatsapp group chat, of course the word had spread to the rest of the Italian national team before she had even returned home from Fede’s place, meant that she was never left alone to her thoughts for too long.

Keeping the promise he had made when she phoned to tell him the news, Jorgi was knocking on her front door at 7:30am the following Monday morning, ready to drive the both of them to Cobham for Amelia’s first full day of work. He was the only person who knew she was taking this offer, other than the professional staff at Chelsea FC who had to organise her contract, so it was very much a nerve-wracking drive to the suburban training ground.

“Sapevo che stavi bene con il blu Azzurri, ma il blu Chelsea è un'altra benedizione che mi è stata conferita” (i knew you looked good in Azzurri blue, but Chelsea blue is another blessing bestowed upon me) Jorgi exclaimed as she opened the door to his car and slid in, having stopped right in front of her house in a no-park zone.

“Morning Jorgi, Thanks so much for picking me up - i’ll sort out a car this weekend i suppose”

“It's not a problem, I'm only a couple of streets away anyway so it's not out of my way.”

The pair caught up on the past couple of weeks without each other, speaking on the Fede situation and Amelia’s feelings. The best thing about Jorgi was how he was able to see both sides of the story. He valued Amelia's opinion and feelings as much as his long-time friend, Fede. He knew how hard it was for both parties to come to an amicable separation & he was making a mental note to call his italian pal to thank him for letting the girl go.

Amelia’s first day at Cobham was heavily administrative, spending a lot of time sorting out paperwork, meeting the team of staff she would be joining, getting her uniform, sorting out her office. After a quick bite to eat with the head analyst, Paolo (she just couldn’t seem to escape the Italians altogether), she collected her leather bound notebook and followed her colleague to the first team wing of Cobham. Whilst she was strictly working with the first team, she had expressed interest early on & stipulated it in her formal acceptance, that she wanted the opportunity to work with the academy players and the freedom to dip into the talent pool of Chelsea youth, to assist in perfecting her tactical plays.

She couldn’t deny that the blue of her uniform was the perfect shade to bring out the blue in her more-often-than-not grey eyes, she felt comfortable in it, she felt part of the team. Pushing open the door ahead of them, Paolo stood to the side like a true gentleman and gestured to Amelia through the door first.

______________________________________________________________

Walking in, I noticed that the scene in front of me was similar to the first time I met with some of these players. With their backs to me, facing the front, listening to every word that Tuchel was saying to them. I snuck in, stood to the side and waited for my introduction which came very shortly after.

“I want you all to meet the new tactical analyst that the club has appointed following a very successful european campaign this past summer, Amelia White” Thomas directed towards me, and just like that, a slight bit of deja-vu settled in as i watched 30+ sets of eyes turn to look at me. Some were happy to see me, some were polite and offered a small smile, and just one set looked a little shocked and very guilty.

“I trust you all will treat her with the respect that you show me, Paolo and all other members of this professional staff. We had to fight tooth and nail for this girl to join us and I can’t express how lucky we all are to be learning from her.” Tuchel dismissed his team, Jorgi pushing through the chairs to get to me.

“Amelia! What a surprise! Why didn’t you tell me about this!” Jorgi rushed over to me and wrapped me in a hug that I didn't return. Less than impressed with the boy's antics and sarcasm.

“Oh be quiet, you drove us both here today.” I spoke with a smile and rolled my eyes.

“Always the trouble maker Jorgi!” Mason Mount spoke from behind him.

“Amelia, nice to see you again! Can’t believe you didn’t tell us in the group chat!” Mason continued as he greeted me hello.

“Haha yeah, it all happened very quickly & to be honest, my decision wasn’t final until a couple of days ago. I had a few opportunities and I had to weigh up my options, Chelsea were willing to go a bit above the other clubs so it became obvious. Besides, someone once told me I would look good in the Chelsea blue” That someone also being the person who avoided my messages, and who is currently avoiding my eyes.

Later that evening.

“As if I deserved to know you picked the blues on sky sport?” Jack questioned the girl over facetime that evening, keeping their friendship tradition alive and cooking together.

“It all happened so quickly Jack, I was in talks with a few clubs and there was a bit of a tussle and negotiation stage and then I just had to pick one. Chelsea offered me the opportunity to foster the youth team talent and no one else was willing to cross-contaminate their professional staff” Amelia hurried down the phone, afraid that she hurt the brummie lad’s feelings.

“Calm down Mils, it's fine! I’m only playin wiv’ya. I’m happy for you - and me too, now I can come visit ya and have a place to stay in the city” He joked back to her. Jack had a certain way of calming the girl down, he reminded her a lot of Fede. He could read her before she came to terms with her own thoughts and feelings.

“Are you trying to tell me that you, with all of your friends and all of your money, need to rely on little old me for a place to stay in the city?” The joking tone went back to normal with the two flirtatious friends.

“No, I'm just saying that I'm happy you’re in the city. Ya know, it’s only a 2 hour drive. I could easily come down on a Friday after training and be back before a Sunday game…”

“2 hours is far too long to be in the car just to spend the day with me”

“That's where you’re wrong, it would be two nights and one whole day. Besides, 2 hours in the car is better than having to fly to get to you. I was prepared to do the latter anyway before your big move back to London” Oh did her heart swoon inside her chest, a quick blush spread across her cheeks and a little chuckle left her lips - unable to find the right words to say back to him.

Amelia knew the dangers of the situationship, this was exactly how it happened with Fede. She couldn’t help that she was naturally playful and flirtatious, she often didn't know she was doing it. Normal conversations to her often appeared like a hardcore flirt-fest to anyone who happened to be around the girl. She didn’t want to cross that line with Jack, she knew better than to do that, especially with how she hurt Fede in the end. She didn’t know where she was going to be in a few years, nor where he was going to be.

What she also recognised in the older lad that Fede also possessed, and she would be surprised if he didnt considering he is a professional football player, is that he was determined. Too determined that sometimes it was more about the chase and the challenge, rather than the aftermath or the reward. She knew Jack wouldn’t give up on her and would always be there for her. Was it bad that she enjoyed it?

Part 9. | nona parte

[weeb-writor]

Do you still love me?

Hello lovelies! Today I am back with a angst piece but a happy ending don't fret too much! I was really thinking about making it end horribly or leaving it up to the readers imagination but I decided nahh i couldn't do that to my heart. So here Bakugou and his s/o who fell out of love??(or did they??) when then have a large family in the mix. I have also decided im kind of obsessed with domestic pieces lol, they are like more than half of all my posts. Anywho, reader is neutral hope you guys enjoy!

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Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

You and Bakugou call its quits not thinking of what it would do to your 5 kids who are stuck in the middle

Words:  3606

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“Are we going to dad’s today?” Hiroyuki asked softly.

“Yeah, your going to spend the weekend with him, all of you.” You smiled at him.

“Can I bring Tokki?” He said looking at the ground already knowing your answer.

“We went over this last time baby, Daddy can't have pets at his new place and Tokki is a cat, he likes staying at home.” You said with a sigh. It really sucks that it came down to this, spend a week with you then a weekend with dad, then rinse repeat. Sometimes you even wondered if it was better. That’s what you and Bakugou told each other, I mean what else can you do when you fall out of love? You approached your car where all of your other children were waiting. You and Hiroyuki sat down and signaled the diver to go.

“We going to daddy’s right?” Kohana said as she bounced around in her seat. You booped her nose and nodded at her.

“Yay, daddy’s home!” Yoko said, clapping.

“Don't get excited Yoko, Dad’s probably busy. Were probably gonna be with Grandpa and Grandma.” Hiroyuki said playing with your fingers.

“You're so dramatic Yuki! Of course dad is busy! He is a Hero but he always makes time for us.” Your oldest said little explosion going off around her.

“Kaori.” You warned her with a stern voice. The little sparks calmed and she went back to quietly gazing out the window. 

“Your dad is a hero and therefore busy but I know he is very excited to see you all and will spend all the time he has with you.” You smiled at them. They all smiled back before going back into relative silence. When you and Bakugou decided to have a big family you were ecstatic and so was he. This, however, wasn't what you imagined. A tiny rift right threw your family and it was growing bigger everyday. When you told the kids about the spilt they didnt say much and the youngest ones didnt even really understand but as they lived through it, they changed. They formed their own opinions about who’s fault it is and why it happened. And now they were splitting up, there was Kaori the eldest who didn't care too much, Yoko, and Kohana. At the opposite end was Hiroyuki, just him. Your fragile little boy who was so sure it was his dad’s fault. Saiyuri was too young to choose a side but all the change wasn't really helping the 11th month old baby.

“We have arrived.” The diver announced. You thanked him while getting everyone out of the seats and exiting the car. Bakugou lived in an apartment now at the tippy top of course. It was a long and loud elevator ride as your kids were antsy to see their dad. When it opened Bakugou was standing there waiting for them and was immediately met with an armful of girls.

“Daddy! I missed you so much!” Kohana said almost in tears.

“Misses Daddy.” Yoko echoed her sister.

“Yeah, I missed all you brats too, you better have been on your best behavior! You have to keep up the Bakugou reputation.” He teased them

“Of course we have! I'm still number one in my quirk development classes. Yuki has the best grades in all of his grade. Kohana is reading at a 3rd grade level already and Yoko and Saiyuri are everyone's favorite at the Daycare!” Kaori said with vigor.

“Yeah, your all Bakugou’s for sure.” He chuckled at them. He turned to talk to Hiroyuki but he was gone. You heard a door shut, he was probably already in his room.

“I've got homework to do dad and them we should do something all together!” Kaori said kissing his check before taking off. Her sisters followed her as usual.

“How long do you think he’ll be like that?” Bakugou asked you with a sigh.

“Honestly I don't know, it's not like I tell him awful things about you. Maybe it would have been better if we did cause then he would have one thing to be angry about, one event, It would be easier than him just being angry at you.” You said placing Saiyuri onto the ground to walk around.

“They’re so mature and smart I forget they’re so young. Hell we don't understand why it happened, you can't just pinpoint a time where you fell outta love, it’s gradual. So how can we expect them too.” Bakugou said, sounding in pain.

“Yeah, sucks they had to witness it. I’ve got to go meet up with someone but just… He thinks you’re going to call your parents and abandon them to do Hero work. I know you can't put off everything but I think he just wants to know that for once he can come first to you.” You said as you kissed Saiyoui’s forehead. You were about to enter the elevator when a weight crashed into you. You didn't have to look down too far to see Hiroyuki hugging you.

“Take care of Tokki, please.”

“Yes and you make sure you and your sisters behave for your dad.” He sighed but nodded at you. You gave him one last hair ruffle before leaving. You couldn't help but think this wasn't ever gonna get any easier. You sighed before heading to the next destination, a café to meet with a few of your friends.

“Y/N!” You heard a voice call to you as soon as you opened the door. You identified the voice as Mina.

“Mina! Long time no see!” You said giving her a hug.

“Y/n, dear come sit down.” Momo said smiling at you, you sat down with the group.

“How are you doing.” Mina asked you cautiously

“I’m surprisingly doing awful, I see Bakugou too much to truly get over him. The kids are still adjusting to us being apart and Hiroyuki has been really upset and distant. I thought breaking up would fix a lot but it just made everything worse.” You sighed out.

“Well of course it did!!!” Urakara whisper yelled.

“You and Bakugou called it quits way too soon! I've never seen someone handle Bakugou the way you do. I’ve never seen anyone love him like you. Hell Bakugou loves you so much it’s ridiculous! Do you remember when he was gonna put his hero work on hold because of Kaori! I’m sorry y/n but I’m not buying this fell out of love thing.” Deku rushed out.

“Mm I’d have to agree. If there is anything I’ve learned from being friends with Bakugou it’s that he never half ass anything and if he put time into it he’s gonna see it through till the end so, logically it doesn’t make sense.” Todoroki said quietly.

“Yeah so what’s your side of the story?” Mina asked carefully.

“I… loved him, you know and when we had kids it only intensified but now it’s different. Bakugou is a great dad don’t get me wrong but he’s absent and that was fine when it was just me, Kaori, Hiroyuki, and Kohana but now there is Yoko and Saiyuri. It’s hard when they all have different school times and different needs cause of their ages. It’s hard because I had to put part of my life on hold, I went to UA too and I was supposed to be one of the greatest support people out there, every agency would want me. But it was Bakugou’s dream first so I sacrificed it all in a heartbeat. Over the years he just got more busy and I got more left behind. I’m tired of waiting up till 3am to make sure he’s alright knowing I have to be up at 7 to get the kids ready for school. I… love him and I don’t want to argue with him and I could feel myself growing angry at him, feel myself growing resentful. So I brought it up under the disguise of “do you still love me” and he said No… so that was that and we were done the next week.” You said not meeting their eyes. They just looked at you with wide eyes.

“Y/n I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this.” Momo said softly.

“It’s fine, he is the love of my life and our kids are my everything so I would do it all again, just for them.” You smiled with a few tears cascading down your face.

“You haven’t tried to talk to him about this, you still love him, you guys can fix this.” Deku said almost mumbling.

“But he doesn’t love me and so there is nothing to talk about. Now come on let’s talk about something else. You can hear sob stories like mine anytime.” You waved them off. They were hesitant but the conversation did pick up about their lives and your time at UA, at least the happy parts. The rest of your two days without your kids were a blur. You just remember waking up with your phone going off a Monday.

“Hello is this Bakugou Y/n?” A women’s said. The title hurt just a bit.

“Yes it is.” You responded drowsily.

“I am very sorry you have to receive a call like this but your son Bakugou Hiroyuki has been rushed to the hospital, his sister did refuse to leave his side so she is there as well.” You were silent before hanging up and immediately calling Bakugou.

“What’s up?” He rushed out. He sounded panicked so he must have gotten a call too.

“I need you to pick up Yoko and Saiyuri.” You said rushing to put in on your clothes.

“What? But yuki is in the hospital, we’ve got to be there.” He said 

“Yes but they are done with daycare in.” You paused to look at the clock on your way out the door. “A hour. If we don’t get them now we’ll have to leave him to get them.” You said finally in your car.

“Yeah and he would rather be with you than me…” he trailed off.

“I didn’t say that.” You rushed out

“You didn’t need to, I'll get them and be there as soon as I can.” He said hanging up. You sighed and continued your drive to the hospital. When you got there you rushed to the room where you looked in and saw your son unconscious and Kaori laying next to him.

“So he is going to be okay, we do want him to remain here for another day or two.” The doctor said to you, smiling.

“Okay but what’s wrong with him.” 

“Well he hasn’t been eating or drinking or sleeping enough, especially for a boy experiencing his growth spurt. Pair that with how much he has been using his quirk in class and you have a pretty bad situation.” She said as if it was nothing to worry about.

“Uhhh okay so we just need to make sure he is eating and drinking right?” You said pacing a little.

“Yeah and I would figure out what made him stop. Your daughter was very adamant about it not being abuse just that there was something going on at home and he is trying to deal with it.” The doctor said as you froze thinking you did this to him.

“Just a divorce…” you trailed off.

“Yeah that will do it but I don’t need to know about it. It's your business just make sure to talk to him so you don’t end up back here.” She said before leaving, you let out a few tears before heading into the room. Noticing you, Kaori got up and was hugging you tighter than she ever had.

“Did you know he wasn’t taking care of himself?” You asked, stroking her hair. She shook her head no.

“I didn’t either, I didn’t know it was hitting him so hard… you know you can ask me about anything, tell me anything… me and your dad will always be in your corner.” You said lifting her chin so you gazed into her eyes.

“But you're both not in our corner anymore. You guys are in to different corners and it’s hard to keep up with two different houses and two different.. well everything’s.” She said looking away from you.

“I never meant to you guys to feel like this, I just…” You trailed off but before you could finish Hiroyuki tossed and turned in his bed.

“Yuki sweetie, can you hear me?” You said as you rushed to his side.

“Mmm.” He said, he’s eyes still shut in pain.

“Oh baby, i'm so sorry I didn't notice you were in pain. It’s never gonna happen again, okay? Do you need something?” You said stroking his hair, he hummed before falling back to sleep. You sighed and kissed his forehead.

“So whats up with him?” Bakugou rushed into the room with the girls in his arms.

“He hasn’t been eating, or drinking, or sleeping. So when he used his quirk it drained his body and he’s here for 1 or 2 more days.” You said eyes never leaving his.

“That's impossible, he was just with me… he… didn't eat very much.” He trailed off. You hummed at him understanding how he was felling as you missed the signs too.

“Hey, girls I texted Grandma and Grandpa and they said they miss you so much. So while we take care of Yuki how about you guys go see them, yeah? Mr. Yuri is waiting to take you.” You smiled at them. You see a fire rise in Kaori but it goes out quick as Bakugou ruffles her hair.

“Okay then, be good for them and don't cause too much trouble. Mr. Yuri will pick up Kohana, Kaori please explain what's happening to her. And don't worry, we’ll see you real soon.” You said waving the girls out of the room. When they were out of sight you and Bakugou visually deflated. 

“Katsuki, how does this keep happening?” You asked him

“What?”

“How do things keep getting worse, first the break up, then the kids being mad at each other, Yuki’s anger at you, and now this.” You cried out.

“The break up was bad to you?” He asked voice cracking.

“Why wouldn't it be, Katsuki I know you don't love me anymore but I…” You trailed off

“Would you just spit it out dumbass! This is why we didn't work out because you never say shit. You just bottle it up and never lean on me or depend on me the way I do to you. You used to say “we're a team” all the time but in the last 2 years you haven't said it once. It was you who fell out of love with me so don't pretend like it was so hard for you.” He yelled at you.

“This is why we don't talk Katsuki, all you wanna do is yell and project all the feelings you bottle up from working so goddamn much. Of course it was hard on me and you would know why if you could drop your ego and talk to me like you can tolerate being around me or love me!” You yelled back at him but before the argument could turn into a big screaming match your sons voice rang out.

“Would you two just stop it…” He said weakly.

“Yuki, im sorry we shouldn't have been yelling even if you were asleep.” Bakugou said caressing his check. At the touch Hiroyuki let out the tears he’s been holding in.

“Its us isn't it?” He paused to look at you. “Me and my sisters… You had Kaori and me pretty young and you didn't really get to be young. You had all of us before you really got to live together just the two of you.. And Uncle Izuku and Auntie Urakara's relationship is doing fine even though they started to date around the same time as you, difference is they just started having kids like 4 years ago… Im 12 and Kaori is 13. So its us isnt?…” He said curling into himself.

“Kid, I'm not gonna lie to you, having you and Kaori at the ages we did was a nightmare. We were barely out of school, we lived with my parents for a while cause we didn't have jobs or a place of our own and even we did get one it was a shitty hole in the wall place but even at the young age of 19 we pulled our shit together and made it work so when you came a year later we were a lot more prepared. Yes we did miss out on a lot of things people our age did but we had you and Kaori and that was so much better than party’s and hangovers. Then we decided to have Kohana, Yoko, and Saiyuri and you all make us so happy. You all have nothing, not a damn thing to do with what's going on between me and y/n. If we ever made you feel like you did we didn't mean to. We love you so much and I am so sorry if we ever made it seem like it was your fault.” Bakugou said, eyes boring into Hiroyuki’s. Hiroyuki looked at you and you nodded to show you agreed with Bakugou.

“Don't ever forget how much we love you, okay? Now you should eat, we’ll get you anything you want.” You said wiping your tears with a smile.

“If it's not too much trouble, I want you and dad’s spicy pork curry and you guys should take some to the girls.” He said drowsily.

“But in order to make that we both would have to leave since it's a meal we make together… we couldn't leave you here alone.” You said mostly to yourself before any could say anything else a new voice was heard entering the room.

“You guys go talk and make him some food, ill stay with him. I didn't watch you guys terribly flirt and kiss everywhere just for it to end over some miscommunications.” Aizawa said as he took the seat next to Hiroyuki. Aizawa had remained close with a lot of students from 1A, becoming like a second dad but he had been extra close with you and Bakugou. When Kaori came into the equation he was like a nanny to her and it only increased when Hiroyuki was born, the two having a really strong bond so neither you or Bakugou was shocked he showed up.

“Okay, then old man. Watch my kid.” Bakugou said, grabbing your hand and pulling you away. You almost forgot what his calloused hand felt like. He drug you to his car and the car ride was mostly silent. The talking began when you began to cook in the house you used to share.

“Do you love me?” You asked as you cut pork

“Yes, I love you. I never stopped, I am in love with you y/n. Today I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.” He said slicing onions.

“Then why did you say that, say that you didn't love me.”

“Because I could see it, you don't look at me the same. We don't talk the way we used to. I don't want to string you along and make you hate being with me, because I love you more than life itself. And I was scared that one day you would wake up and you wouldn't need me and realize how easy it would be to leave me. That it would be my fault we ended because I was so focused on me I didn't see your pain. Scared that I would wake up and gaze into your eyes and find no love or joy in them. So I decided to let you go… I was thinking we just needed a break but you suggested a divorce and I agreed because I would do anything to make sure you keep that beautiful smile of yours. Even if you weren't smiling at me anymore… do you..” He said calmly, growing more emotional with each word.

“Yea, I never ever stopped. I was just tired, I am tired. But I want nothing more than for us to work… we can get through this, can't we?” You asked cautiously.

“Of course we can, we are Bakugous, we can do whatever the hell we want. And it will be different this time, we’ll talk about things and communicate better, I swear. I aint seeing a shrink though.” He said flicking water at you to make his last point more effective.

“Yes we are.” You giggled at him.

“No we aren't, you shitty dumbass. We don't need help, I can talk about my feelings without some dumb wanna be life coach.” He yelled as he began to wash the rice.

“Well we don't have to but I guess that means Zuku and Urakara have a better relationship than us since they go to counseling…” you trailed off with a shrug.

“Oh fuck you!” He roared at you, you giggled knowing he would now go. This was the most normal you felt in months, the happiest for sure. Just maybe things would be okay, and who were you kidding you could never fall out of love with the spiky haired explosion boy no matter what he did. It was toxic in a way but you could unpack that in the therapy sessions you were gonna force him to attend.