#i thought the mv would be hard to gif | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mononijikayu · 6 months ago

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no more sad songs for my broken heart — gojo satoru.

Swallowing back the bitter taste rising in your throat, you steadied yourself and turned your gaze to Satoru, watching him sleep peacefully. The room was hushed, filled only with the soft rustling of fabric and the steady rhythm of his breathing.

"You're the most important to me, Satoru." you whispered, your voice a fragile whisper in the quiet night. The words hung in the air, carrying the weight of a love that defied death itself. "And you always will be."

Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Warning/s: Romance, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, An Pining, Emotional Hurt, Depression, Ghost, Trauma, PTSD, Depiction of Funeral, Depiction of Trauma, Mentions of Alcohol, Depiction of Alcoholism, Depiction of Depression, Depiction of Ghost, Depiction of PTSD illusions, Gojo Satoru deserves a Hug™

masterlist

song: no more sad song for my broken heart by k.will

note: the fact that we waited years and years for a sequel to please dont mv and k.will decided to give us a heartbreak on PRIDE MONTH??? but i shouldnt be speaking because i saw that mv and thought holy shit, satoru definitely went through it and held my breath for a whole week until i could write it on my free time. anyway, ill be disappearing again cause exams !!! but i will be back soon ~ i love you all <3

HE NEVER EXPECTED THIS TO END THIS WAY. Gojo Satoru stood silently in front of the floral arrangement, the vibrant colors contrasting starkly with the somberness of the ihai before him. He lowered himself gracefully, bowing deeply in a gesture of respect and remembrance. Carefully, he lit three incense sticks, their thin spirals of smoke curling upwards, filling the air with a calming fragrance.

The silence, the lonesomeness of the room — he’d never expected it before. If he was being honest, Satoru never liked the quiet. It was hard to be alone in the realm of thoughts that burden him. But there’s nothing he could do about it. No one was here other than the funerary staff. And even then, they were all scattered around this dingy property.

As he stood up, his gaze fell momentarily on his watch, the cracked glass dial. He doesn’t think he’d ever have it fixed. He wanted to let it be, let it rest at that moment. It was better, a reminder for him about a time that had long been frozen in time. The hands were stuck at 19:42 pm, a constant reminder of a past event he couldn't change. His cerulean blues was intense against the broken clock from the darkness of those round rim frames.

Everyone else had already come, he supposed. But it was perhaps most poignant that he was going to be the last person here. He was away on missions, as he always has. Yaga–sensei was going to go as early as he could, Shoko would get it done and over with. Nanami was here, judging from the fact that the bread rolls from that corner store all those years ago were here. He sighed, trying to think if Suguru had come here at all. If he had the audacity to bring condolences and grief in hand. But Satoru thinks that all the incense had erased the scent of all his cursed energy. And perhaps that was for the best.

He looked at the black armband on his arm. Ever since he arrived yesterday, he couldn’t find it in himself to leave. Not even to sleep or to eat. The moment he arrived, he was told that he was the chief mourner. He never expected that to be someone’s final request, not ever. But he supposed that it was just how fate is, with someone like him. A conundrum of irony, one that could not ever be prevented. One that could never truly stop.

Satoru left the room quietly, his footsteps echoing softly in the empty hallways. You watched him from your hiding spot, leaning against the wall, your heart pounding in your chest. You didn't want to face him, not now, not here. But as fate would have it, Gojo Satoru could not help but notice you as he grabbed his energy drink from the vending machine. You recognized the drink from all those years ago. It was the one you hated — because it was too overly sweet. But you drank it anyway, when Satoru got it for you.

"Hey!" he called out, his voice filled with a blend of surprise and familiarity. He rushed to your side, his tall frame towering over you, but his presence was somehow comforting.

You tried to compose yourself, managing a weak smile. "Satoru..."

He grinned at you, his usual playful demeanor tinged with genuine warmth. "I haven't seen you in a while. How about we grab a bite to eat?"

You shook your head, your voice barely a whisper. "I'm not hungry."

His grin widened, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Come on, indulge me. It's not every day I get to catch up with an old friend."

You hesitated, torn between the desire to flee and the comfort of his company. But something in his eyes, a blend of understanding and insistence, made you relent.

"Okay," you sighed, a faint smile tugging at your lips. "But just this once."

Gojo's grin softened into a genuine smile, and he gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "Let's go then."

In no time, you and Satoru sat across from each other in the small cafeteria, the ambient chatter echoes between the two of you in the silence of the empty cafeteria. He was intently looking at you as he started making conversation and you listened, nodding along with what he was saying as you ate. He was like this too when you were younger in Jujutsu High and nearly ten years later, he somehow hasn’t changed. You could only smile at that.

Satoru starts stuffing his face with the already cold tonkatsu. You could only sigh fondly at him, watching him put the rice bowl down and take the miso soup’s bowl in hand and drink the cold broth. You picked up your chopsticks and, absentmindedly, stuck them upright into your rice meal. Satoru's cerulean eyes widened slightly, and he leaned forward, his tone playful yet chiding.

"Hey, you know you're not supposed to do that, right? It's bad luck. Reminds me of funeral rites."

You snorted, rolling your eyes at his scolding. "Oh, please, Satoru. Don’t tell me what to do."

“It’s still bad luck, use them properly!”

You smirked, pulling the chopsticks out and resuming your meal properly. "Besides, it's not like the spirits are going to come after me just for this."

Satoru laughed, shaking his head. "You always were stubborn. Some things never change."

You smiled, a hint of nostalgia in your eyes. "You know, Sugu-chan and Nana-chan were always sticklers for the rules. But you? I can’t believe you’re lecturing me about rules.”

He pouts at you. “I can follow rules too! You’re so mean to me, y’know?”

“It’s very rare to see you follow rules, Sato-chan.”

“But you admit that I follow rules?” The glint in his bright eyes was shining at you like a star in the cloudless sky. So clearly. “You do, don’t you?”

You grinned at him mischievously. “Well, at least the ones that suited you."

“Oh don’t patronize me!”

“Well, you asked!”

The two of you continued eating, the conversation flowing easily. You talked about the current state of affairs, your work, and shared memories from your past. The atmosphere was light, filled with genuine warmth. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him. Not since you left Jujutsu behind and had gotten married abroad. But from what Satoru heard, you returned recently.

And he wasn’t sure what happened in all that time. But it was good for him, to see you smiling at him again. It was as if time hadn’t moved at all between the two of you. It was as if it was still like yesterday. He could feel his heart tender as you put your matcha mochi on his plate. You smiled at him, even wider than before as you told him to take it and eat it for you. He looked at you, but you just kept nodding. You watched him eat the mochi and make a satisfied groan as he ate it. You laughed, seeing that he hasn’t changed much.

Satoru leaned back in his chair, a contented look on his face. "You know, it's really good to see you. I missed this. Just talking and being ourselves."

You nodded, feeling a similar sense of contentment. "Yeah, me too. It's nice to just... be, without any of the usual chaos."

Satoru's eyes softened as he looked at you, a rare moment of vulnerability. "You've been through a lot, I imagine. It’s been….a while.”

You shrugged, trying to downplay the weight of his words. "We all have our battles, Satoru. Some just leave more scars than others."

He reached across the table, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. "Well, if you ever need someone in your corner, you know where to find me."

You smiled, squeezing his hand back. "Thanks, Satoru. That means a lot."

The conversation tapered off, and a comfortable silence settled between you and Satoru. Both of you watched the birds outside the window, one bird leaving the other behind, fluttering away into the open sky. The scene was tranquil, a stark contrast to the turbulent lives you both led.

Breaking the silence, you reached for your phone. The chair squeaked softly as you shifted, pulling out an outdated flip phone from your pocket. You handed it to Satoru, causing his eyebrows to rise in curiosity.

"Can you put your number in?" you asked.

Satoru took the flip phone, chuckling softly. "You still have this old thing? Why not upgrade to something more modern?"

You shrugged, a faint smile on your lips. "The new ones overstimulate me. I prefer something simple."

Nodding in understanding, Satoru quickly input his number into your flip phone and handed it back to you. Then, he pulled out his sleek, modern smartphone, offering it to you.

"Alright, fair is fair. Put your number in mine too," he said with a grin.

You took his phone, marveling for a moment at the advanced technology before carefully entering your number. As you handed it back, your fingers brushed lightly against his, a brief but comforting connection.

"Thanks," Satoru said, pocketing his phone. "Now I have no excuse not to stay in touch."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Exactly. No excuses."

Another comfortable silence fell between you as you both returned to watching the birds outside, feeling a sense of calm and connection. Despite everything, moments like these reminded you that some bonds were unbreakable, no matter the distance or time that passed. Satoru took a sip of his drink once more and looked at your contentment. He hadn’t expected to have met you today, not at a funeral. He wished it was a better time. But he knew, it was better than not having met you again at all.

“Are you good on Thursday?” Satoru asks, breaking the comfortable silence and causing you to turn your gaze back to him.

“For what?” you reply, raising a curious eyebrow.

“To hang out...like the old days?” he says, a hopeful grin spreading across his face.

You ponder for a moment, the idea of reconnecting with him sounding appealing. "What did you have in mind?"

Satoru leans back in his chair, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "I was thinking we could visit that ramen place we used to love. You know, the one with the best miso ramen in town. And maybe after that, we could catch a movie or just walk around the old neighborhood."

A nostalgic smile creeps onto your face as you remember the countless times you’d both gone to that ramen place, laughing and talking for hours. "That sounds nice. I could use a break from everything."

"Great!" he exclaims, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "It's a date, then."

You chuckle, shaking your head. "It's not a date, Satoru."

"Sure, sure," he says, waving his hand dismissively but with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Just two old friends hanging out."

"Exactly," you agree, a warmth spreading through you at the thought of spending time with him.

“Exactly.” He repeated, with that grin on his face.

You shake your head. “You always have to have the last word, huh?”

He laughs. “Of course!”

For a moment, Gojo Satoru didn’t feel sad anymore.

In this moment, hearing you laugh, he escapes it all.

He escapes the misery of the world in your warmth.

WHEN YOU LEFT, SATORU WAS SHATTERED. He still remembered the details of that moment, when you told him you were leaving. The unruly pile of clothes lying around the room, the ripped pieces of paper scattered across the floor, and the bedsheet that hadn’t been replaced in days—all of it seemed like a chaotic reflection of his inner turmoil. You stood by the door, suitcase in hand, your expression a mix of sadness and determination.

"I can't stay here anymore, Satoru." you had said, your voice trembling yet resolute. "I need to find my own path, away from all of this….I’m tired.”

Satoru's heart had shattered in that instant. The room had felt colder, emptier, as if the very air was being sucked out of it. The dorm already lost its life. Everything about it was just silent. Nanami’s moved out even before graduation, Shoko’s gone off and taken to medical school. It was only him that’s left. Him and you. He clung to you, for all this time. He would push you to join him on his food trips during missions, even if you weren’t here.

You and him stayed up watching movies together when he had those rare days off. The emptiness Suguru left behind would never go away, but you filled some tenderness in his life. A tenderness that he had enjoyed. A tenderness he could not live without. And now you planned to leave him too. Now that he couldn't comprehend a world where you weren't a part of his daily life. The thought of you walking out that door and never coming back was too painful to bear. And he hated how it hurt, it hated how it made him return to that time, when Suguru turned his back to him forever.

Thinking of it now that you both were older, Satoru realizes that all of it must have been hard on you too. You were a year below them, in a team with Haibara and Nanami. You were close to Suguru and Shoko too. And now you lost them too, you were all alone too, left with echoes that Satoru did not know. You were left with ghosts and grief and lonesomeness.

And he didn’t see that, he didn’t want to. You were close to breaking and he didn’t see it. And choosing your peace, it hurt him. It hurt him beyond words could express. It was a horrible thought for certain. But Satoru thought at the time, that if two miserable people were together, maybe the happiness that could come would be enough to overcome that misery. But he was wrong. He was all too wrong. Misery will never keep people together.

"Please," he had pleaded, his voice breaking. "Don't go. We can figure this out together."

But you had only shaken your head, tears streaming down your face. "I'm sorry, Sato-chan…I know it's going to hurt you. But….I can’t stay here. I need to do this for myself."

The memory of you closing the door behind you haunted him for days, weeks, even months. He couldn’t stop crying for days after Suguru left. He had tried to fill the void with anything he could—training, missions, even attempting to drown his sorrows in alcohol—but nothing worked. The pain of losing both of you was too much to bear. The apartment became a constant reminder of the life he once had, now reduced to a hollow shell.

Every time he looked at the bed, he remembered the late-night conversations, the laughter, and the warmth of your presence. The ripped pieces of paper were drafts of letters he had tried to write to you, words that never seemed adequate to express the depth of his feelings. The clothes strewn about were remnants of happier times, now just silent witnesses to his grief. Even now, years later, the memory was as vivid as ever, a wound that never truly healed.

As Satoru sat across from you, his mind drifted back to the years following your departure. At first, he didn't want to hear anything about you. The pain was too raw, too immediate. Every mention of your name felt like a knife twisting in his chest. It hurt to know that, just like everyone else, you moved on with your life without him.

He remembered the first time he heard you'd left the country. It was Shoko who told him, her voice gentle as she broke the news. You had found a new passion, something that took you far away from the world you both had known. It was supposed to be a casual conversation, but it left him reeling. The idea of you building a new life, so distant from the memories you had shared, was almost unbearable.

Then came the news that you had married. He remembered the hollow feeling in his chest when he heard. It was as if a part of him had died all over again. Shoko had shown him a picture of you and your spouse, smiling and happy. In a fit of rage and heartbreak, he ripped the picture apart, unable to bear the sight of you with someone else.

Each memory hurt him badly. Nights were the worst, filled with imagined scenarios where you were still with him, where he could reach out and feel your warmth next to him. He would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering what could have been if you had stayed.

Despite his attempts to move on, the memories lingered. Every accomplishment, every smile, every moment of happiness he found was tinged with the bittersweet reminder of what he had lost. The thought of you, happy and loved by someone else, was a constant ache.

Yet, as he looked at you now, he couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope. The pain was still there, but so was the undeniable bond you shared. It was as if no time had passed, and in this small café, surrounded by the remnants of your shared past, he found a small measure of peace. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance to rebuild what had been lost.

You and Satoru began meeting up more often than ever. Each encounter breathed new life into the corners of his world that had long been shadowed by loneliness and regret. For the first time in a long while, besides the joy he found in teaching his students, Satoru felt a genuine happiness blooming within him, one that he had almost forgotten could exist.

Your meet-ups started simply, with visits to quaint cafés where you’d talk over coffee and pastries, reminiscing about old times and sharing stories about your current lives. At times, he brought you along with him when he would see Megumi and Tsumiki. They seemed fond enough of you, and it was a privilege for Satoru to see how tender you are with them.

You became his daily routine, everything he said revolved around your daily vernacular. Your home cooked meals became his sustenance. He realized too that he smiled more. That he was always in a good mood when you texted him something about your day. He didn’t want this to stop and he knew that you also didn’t want to leave him. Satoru realized that you found solace in each other's presence. The more you met, the more the walls of time and distance crumbled away, leaving only the essence of your bond, untouched and untainted.

At times, Gojo Satoru would come over to your place, bringing groceries or a bottle of sake. These evenings were filled with laughter, shared meals, and a sense of comfort that was rare in his life. It was one of those days to be together again. As you both sat on the porch, the sky painted in hues of twilight, you revealed something you had been holding back. Satoru already knew you were married, but you didn’t know that. But he just listened, when you talked all about it. He just let you lift the weight of your chest. He just let you give yourself to him little by little.

“I’m divorced.” you said quietly, your eyes fixed on the horizon. “It happened a while ago.”

Satoru’s heart skipped a beat. He turned to you, his expression a mix of surprise and concern. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You shrugged, a bittersweet smile playing on your lips. “I didn’t know how. It’s not something I talk about easily. But I thought you should know.”

He reached out, gently taking your hand in his. “I’m sorry you went through that. But thank you for telling me.”

As the weeks turned into months, Satoru realized something profound. He loved you. It was a love that had never truly faded, only hidden beneath layers of time and circumstance. Each moment spent with you reaffirmed this truth. And each moment, he was even more terrified. Terrified of telling you the truth. Terrified of letting you see the pits of him that he doesn’t like.

The monster that lingers in the strongest, he does not want you to see that. The danger that comes with the world that he dwells in, the world you’d long abandoned. You laughed together, drank together, and enjoyed each other's company in a way that felt both new and comfortingly familiar. The nights, like tonight, continued to be joyous evenings filled with stories and laughter.

You looked at him, your eyes reflecting the soft glow of the lamp. “I’m glad we’re doing this,” you said softly.

“Me too, y’know?” he replied, his voice filled with sincerity. “I’ve missed you. More than I can say.”

Your fingers brushed against his, “I always thought about you, all those years.”

His cerulean blue tenderly met your own orbs. “I always thought about you too."

“Do you mean it?” You responded in a whisper.

“Why would I lie to you, after all this time?”

After a delightful meal shared on your porch, you found yourselves enjoying dessert. You had bought some sweets to bring over. You didn’t like sweets all that much, but you always thought about enjoying them with Satoru. Because it made him happy. And when he was happy, you were too. You could feel the night air breezing in consistent cool kisses, and the distant sound of cicadas filled the silence between your laughter and conversation. You picked up a piece of the dessert, holding it out to Satoru with a playful grin. You supposed you had drunk much already.

“Here, try this. It’s delicious, Sato-chan.” you said, your eyes sparkling with amusement.

He leaned forward, his eyes locked on yours as he took the bite. “Mmm, you’re right. It’s amazing.”

Before you could pull your hand away, he took a piece and held it out to you. “Your turn.”

You hesitated, feeling a sudden rush of warmth to your cheeks. “Satoru, I can feed myself, you know?” you laughed nervously.

“Come on, indulge me, sweets!” he teased, his tone light but his eyes serious.

You opened your mouth, letting him feed you. The intimacy of the gesture made your heart race, and you quickly looked away, trying to hide your flustered expression. Satoru chuckled, clearly pleased with himself.

As the evening wore on, Satoru, a notorious lightweight when it came to drinking, began to feel the effects of the sake you’d shared. He leaned back, his eyelids drooping. “I think I’m going to pass out, sweets.” he mumbled, a sleepy smile on his face.

“Then go and sleep.”

“Hm….night.”

‘.....G’d night.”

You watched as his eyes closed, his breathing evening out. For a long moment, you stared at him, your heart aching with unspoken feelings. You had always been in love with him, but you knew deep down that you could never compete with Suguru. That bond, that history, was something you could never touch.

Unbeknownst to you, Satoru was not entirely asleep. He was keenly aware of his feelings for you, feelings that had grown stronger with each passing day. But rather than confront them, he chose to feign sleep, his mind whirling with thoughts he wasn’t ready to address. Not just yet. Not when it was too hard to face the truth.

You reached out, your hand trembling slightly as you gently brushed a stray lock of hair from Satoru's forehead. Your touch was tender, filled with a longing that transcended the boundaries between this world and the next.

"I... I... I lov..." you began, your voice faltering as if caught between the weight of your emotions and the limits of your spectral form. Frustration and exhaustion etched across your ethereal features, and you brought your hands to your face, overcome by the inability to express what lay heavy on your heart.

"You're the most important to me, Satoru," you whispered, your voice a fragile whisper in the quiet night. The words hung in the air, carrying the weight of a love that defied death itself. "And you always will be."

He heard your words, each one piercing through his heart, but he remained still, his breathing steady. He wasn’t ready to face the complexities of your relationship, the unresolved emotions that lay between you.

As you sat there, watching over him, you wondered if there would ever be a time when you could be honest with each other. For now, you were content to cherish these moments, fleeting as they might be, and hope that someday, the barriers between you would fall away, leaving only the love that had always been there.

A few moments later, you realized Satoru groggily opened his eyes, blinking away the remnants of sleep. He watched you with a mix of concern and amusement as you clumsily attempted to put your shoes on, fumbling with the laces and nearly losing your balance. The room was dim, and the aftereffects of the night’s drinks were evident in your unsteady movements.

“What are you doing?” Satoru asked, his voice laced with confusion and sleepiness.

“I need to go home,” you whispered to him, your voice soft but tinged with a hint of desperation. You hiccuped, the sound breaking the silence of the room. “My dog needs me.”

Satoru sat up, rubbing his eyes and trying to make sense of your words. He reached out to steady you, his touch gentle yet firm. “You’re not going anywhere in this state, sweets.” he said, concern etched across his face. “Let’s get you some water and figure this out.”

But you shook your head, your thoughts already miles away. “No, I have to go. She’s waiting for me. Please, I need to get home.” The urgency in your voice was palpable, and despite his better judgment, Satoru knew there was no stopping you.

“Alright….Let me take you home.”

“You don’t need to.” You tell him, shaking your head. “You…don’t you have a mission tomorrow?”

“It’s fine.” Satoru insisted to you. “Don’t worry.”

Walking through the train tunnel, the air was thick with the musty scent of concrete and dampness, punctuated by the distant echo of footsteps reverberating off the tunnel walls. The dim, flickering lights cast long, eerie shadows that danced around you and Satoru as you stumbled forward, your movements unsteady and guided more by instinct than clarity.

You were particularly drunk, your senses dulled and your thoughts muddled. Every step felt like a small victory as you navigated the uneven ground and avoided stumbling over the occasional debris littering the tunnel floor. Beside you, Satoru walked with a surprising steadiness, his normally calm demeanor now tinged with a quiet concern. His eyes darted around, scanning the surroundings with a vigilance that contrasted sharply with your intoxicated haze.

The tunnel seemed to stretch on endlessly, the occasional flickering light offering brief glimpses of the graffiti-covered walls and rusted tracks that lay beyond. The sound of your footsteps echoed loudly in the confined space, creating an unsettling symphony with the distant sounds of passing trains and the occasional drip of water from above.

“Be careful now.” he cautioned, glancing at you as you stumbled slightly. His tone was light, but the concern in his eyes was evident.

You turned to him, your heart pounding in your chest. “Satoru,” you began, your voice wavering. “There’s something I’ve never been able to tell you.”

He stopped walking, turning to face you fully. “What is it?” he asked, his expression curious and a little concerned.

You looked at him, your eyes almost broken, the weight of unspoken emotions heavy on your shoulders. “Can I… can I hug you? Just once?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can you turn off Infinity around me? Just for a moment?”

Satoru’s eyes softened, and he took a step closer. “My Infinity is always down with you,” he said quietly, his voice filled with a gentle sincerity.

Without another word, you stepped forward and embraced him, wrapping your arms around his waist. The warmth of his body against yours was both comforting and overwhelming. Satoru stood still, his arms at his sides, too shocked to respond immediately.

For a moment, you held him tightly, your face buried in his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “I’ve always loved you, Satoru.” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “I wished….I wished I told you, before I left. Maybe……maybe it would have saved me a decade of pain. Of heartbreak.”

His body tensed slightly, and you could feel his breath hitch. Slowly, as if coming out of a trance, his arms began to lift. Tentatively, he placed them around you, his embrace becoming firmer as the reality of your confession sank in.

You stood there in the train tunnel, holding onto each other as if the world around you had ceased to exist. The distant echoes and the cold air were forgotten, replaced by the warmth of the moment and the raw, unfiltered emotions that had finally been laid bare.

Satoru pulled back slightly, just enough to look down at you. His eyes were filled with a mix of shock, confusion, and something else—something deeper. “Why now?” he asked, his voice barely audible, as if he was afraid that speaking too loudly would shatter the fragile moment.

You looked up at him, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Because I couldn’t hold it in any longer,” you replied, your voice trembling. “Because I need you to know, even if it changes nothing.”

For a long moment, he said nothing, his gaze searching your face. Then, slowly, he leaned down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. “Thank you.” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “For telling me.”

“I know we can’t be together.” You ramble to him, tears falling all over your face. “I wish we could have had more time. I wish….”

“We will have more time.” He tells you in a mumble. “We have all the time in the world.”

“We don’t.” You whispered to him, looking into his eyes with your own tear stained face. “We don’t.”

In that moment, he could see it in your eyes.

You were telling him the truth, the whole of it.

As the sound of the train echoed through the tunnel,

You burst into tears as those words echoed in his head.

“I’m sorry, Satoru.” You whispered. “I’m going to hurt you.”

YOU CHOSE THE PICTURE YOURSELF. You looked at him, a sad smile playing on your lips, a bittersweet expression that conveyed both regret and acceptance. Your gaze was gentle yet haunting, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the photograph he held in his trembling hands — a portrait of you, captured in a moment of serene beauty that seemed to transcend the confines of the photograph itself.

As he stared at your image, framed by the soft glow of candlelight, he felt a pang of disbelief and sorrow grip his heart. How could someone so vibrant, so full of life, now be reduced to this still, silent image before him? The photograph seemed to capture not just your physical likeness, but also the essence of your spirit — a spirit that had once danced with such vitality and now lingered only in memories.

He remembered that day in the tunnel, your words echoing in his mind like a haunting refrain. You had warned him, confessed your impending departure with a sorrow that mirrored his own. In that moment, he had felt a deep ache, a foreboding sense of loss that now seemed inevitable and crushing.

Now, holding your funeral photo, he felt as if he were suspended in that tunnel once more, caught between the reality of your absence and the vividness of your memory. You had prepared for this moment, for your departure from his life, long before fate had delivered its cruel blow. The photo captured a version of you that he knew was only a fraction of the person he had loved — a mere reflection of the complexities and contradictions that made you who you were.

He shook his head, trying to dispel the illusion of your ghostly presence that seemed to linger in the room. This spectral image, so painfully beautiful, could never truly encapsulate the vibrant soul he had cherished. Everything that defined you now rested in the small urn before him, the echoes of the fleeting nature of life itself. He had promised to protect you, to hold you close, but now all he could do was hold onto your memory, etched into his heart with a sorrow that would never fade.

Gojo Satoru sat in silence, the photo trembling in his hands. He couldn't bring himself to look away from your serene face, captured forever in that moment of calm. The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows around the room, creating an atmosphere that felt both intimate and surreal.

"You told me……" Satoru finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, "that you were going to hurt me. But I never thought it would end like this."

Your ghostly presence seemed to shimmer faintly in the dim light, a wistful echo of the person he had loved so deeply. Your eyes, even in the photo, held a depth of sadness that mirrored his own

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice carrying a weight of regret that pierced through the silence. "I never wanted this for us."

He looked up at you, tears welling in his eyes. "I should have done everything." he said, his voice breaking with emotion. "I should have done something."

You shook your head gently, a gesture that seemed to encompass both forgiveness and understanding. "It wasn't your fault," you reassured him softly. "We couldn't change what was meant to be."

"But I miss you, my love." Satoru confessed, his voice choking with grief. "Every day feels like a struggle without you."

Your ghostly form seemed to draw closer, as if reaching out to comfort him. "I know, I know…." you murmured, your presence a fleeting warmth in the cold emptiness of the room. "I miss you too."

He reached out a trembling hand towards where your image lay, desperate for some tangible connection to the love that had defined his world. "Why did you have to leave me?" he asked, his voice filled with anguish. “Why now when we had everything?”

You looked at him with infinite sadness, your ethereal presence flickering faintly. "I didn't want to," you replied, your voice barely audible. "But my time was up. Some things... we can't control it."

He closed his cerulean eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. The ache in his chest felt unbearable, a gaping void that no amount of time could ever heal. "I wish I could have saved you, my love." he whispered, his words a desperate plea to the universe. “I wished I….”

In the silence that followed, your ghostly form seemed to fade gradually, leaving behind only the faint echo of your presence. "You gave me everything I ever wanted." you whispered softly, your voice drifting like a gentle breeze. "And I will always be with you, in every memory, in every heartbeat."

He closed his cerulean eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks like silent rivers of grief. The ache in his chest felt unbearable, a gaping void that no amount of time could ever hope to heal. "I don't want anything else, my love," he whispered brokenly, his words a desperate plea to the universe. "I just want you. I need you."

His voice faltered, choked by sorrow too deep for words. In the deafening silence that followed, your ghostly form seemed to fade gradually, leaving behind only the faint echo of your presence. The room feels emptier without you, devoid of the warmth and light that had once filled his life.

"I know." You choked as you tried not to falter. Not when he needed your smile more than your tears. "I know."

"I wished we had more time.....so I could have....." You shook your head at him.

"You gave me everything I ever wanted," your voice echoed softly, ethereal and distant like a whisper carried in the wind. "And I have no regrets. Neither should you, Satoru. Hm?"

He clutched the photograph to his chest, feeling the weight of your absence press against him like a physical force. The candle flickered, casting fleeting shadows on the walls as if dancing to the rhythm of his heartache. Memories flooded his mind — moments shared, laughter exchanged, dreams woven together — now a tapestry of what-ifs and regrets.

"I don't know how to go on without you, my love." he admitted quietly, his voice trembling with raw emotion. "Everything reminds me of you. What is life without who makes life have sense?"

"You are stronger than you know, you always were." your voice whispered gently, a soothing melody in the midst of his storm. He could feel you touch his cheek. He leans against the ghostly weight, wishing he could feel your warmth in his. "You'll always get by, Satoru. You always will. You're the best I know, after all."

"Because I'm the strongest?"

You smiled, softly shaking your head again. "Because you love too well."

He opened his pale blue eyes, searching for a glimpse of you in the shadows, in the flickering candlelight. Though your physical presence had slipped away, he could still feel your love wrapping around him like a fragile cocoon. It was a love that had weathered storms, endured trials, and now lingered as fragile hope in his shattered heart.

"I love you, my love." he whispered into the stillness, his words a solemn vow to carry your memory forward. "Always."

As he sat there, cradling the photograph that held your smile frozen in time, he knew that while he had lost you in body, your spirit would forever remain intertwined with his own. And in the quiet moments of solitude, he would find solace in the memories of a love that had transcended mortality itself.

He knew that time would be the bridge between now and when he would see you again. Even in his deepest despair, the thought of reuniting with you brought a bittersweet comfort. Yet, he also knew that to join you prematurely would betray the promise he had made to you in those final moments — to live a life worthy of your love, to carry on and make a difference.

The scent of incense filled the room, a solemn reminder of the rituals and prayers offered for your departed soul. Satoru let out a long exhale, his lips pursed into a determined line. He would fulfill his promises, no matter how difficult or daunting the path ahead seemed.

"I'll change the Jujutsu society," he vowed quietly to himself, the words carrying a weight of determination. "I'll guide the next generation, help them grow strong and wise."

As a sad melody filled the air, a song that once brought joy and laughter to both of you, he closed his eyes and allowed the memories to wash over him. You had loved to dance to this song, your laughter echoing in his ears as you twirled around the room together. It was a memory etched in his heart, a fragment of a life he cherished and longed to live again.

"I'll do everything you believed I could," he whispered softly, his voice tinged with both sadness and resolve. "And then, I'll find you again."

In the solitude of that moment, amidst the flickering candlelight and the haunting melody, he made a silent promise to himself and to you. He would continue to carry your love in his heart, through every trial and triumph, knowing that one day, their souls would reunite in a dance again.

And so Gojo Satoru waits as he lay on that cold operating table.

Those sad sing along songs repeated in his head over and over.

But as he lay there, all that he could think to do was smile at pain.

He was going to meet you soon, he thinks to himself in such peace.

Then, there would be no more sad songs for his broken heart to hear.

some facts about the fic

in the first part, satoru is struggling through his grief for you to the point that he is suffering traumatic illusions that you were there, eating with him. in that whole scene, satoru was actually alone and he's repressing that for the vision of being together, eating.

when you were eating, the chopsticks were stuck upright. this should not be the case especially rice. chopsticks are only stuck upright into rice in the bowl on the altar at a funeral or when paying respects to the deceased. this is called hotokebashi.

in the funerary flower arrangement, there's something called an ihai. an ihai is a placard that people used to designate the seat of a deity or past ancestor as well as to enclose it. the name of the deity or the past ancestor is usually inscribed onto the tablet.

an ihai is usually used in the funerary rights and then afterwards, put in a butsudan which is often an ornate platform or simply a wooden cabinet sometimes crafted with doors that enclose it. families often put their ihai into their butsudan at home.

since i thought that in this story, you don't have parents - i like to think that satoru put your ihai in the butsudan in his house, so that you could be there with him always.

your ashes in the story are with satoru. but i like to believe he already had a spot reserved for him as clan leader in the future - so he buried you beside his future spot so he just made sure both of you are together in the afterlife too.

the watch belonged to haibara and his parents gave you and nanami something of his to keep. you kept the watch he wore during the mission and kept using it all your life. it stopped working when you died.

the time in the story was 19:42. in japanese superstition,

since i thought that in this story, you don't have parents - i like to think that satoru put your ihai in the butsudan in his house, so that you could be there with him always.

the time in the story was 19:42. in japanese superstition, you have to switch it to have meaning. 42-19, together sounds like shini iku (死に行く – to go and die).

your story ex-spouse and you divorced because they found out that you were a jujutsu sorcerer - after you saved them from a cursed spirit that was about to kill them.

you found out that you were very ill a month after you met satoru again and were given a year or two to live, with medication. its a rare disease, so there was only maintenance medication.

originally, i thought to write that you die from a mission after returning to jujutsu to be with satoru. but i realized that it's just not gonna hit as hard. so i changed my mind and got to this ending.

i also thought that you dying in this story because of cursed spirits was going to rile satoru up against the higher ups. but i felt like the fact that you left him because you were traumatized too, and needed a room enough to breathe was enough for him to be angry. if you hadn't left, you and satoru would have had a life together and you wouldn't have been ripped away from him by fate so quickly.

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blkkizzat · 1 year ago

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ꨄ︎『Sneaky Links』ꨄ︎ (PART 1)

Sukuna x Reader (Mentions of Yuji x Reader)

18+ Minors - DNI

PART 1 of 2

Summary: Y/N is a dickmatized manipulative brat. Sukuna is Sukuna. Poor sweet Yuji is collateral damage. CW: cheating, rough play, unprotected sex, spit play, brat taming, spanking, pussy slapping, manipulation, fingering, anal play, edging, tit job, blow job, slight dubcon, sukuna being toxic, y/n thinking with her pussy not her brain (but it’s hard not to when you got that wet wet). WK: 3.1k of 8.5k Slightly Black female coded but no descriptors.

A/N: All I do is eat hot chip and bump Spotify so nearly everything I write has song(s) that goes with it.

Sukuna POV: I Mean It - G-Eazy (this mv is so unsrs but I'm criiiine imagining Sukuna as G-Eazy in this video lmfao) Reader POV: You Right - Doja Cat (not like Sukuna couldn't be The Weeknd POV here but he's so much more of an asshole than that)

Enjoy!

‘2:37 AM’. Fuck.

You had to stop looking at the clock, it was only making you more restless. Usually sleep came to you easily as the peaceful dark of your room and light snores coming from your boyfriend Yuji would lull you into a comforting slumber each night.

You sighed.

Your head lay on Yuji’s chest and his arm was loosely draped around your waist. This has become your typical sleeping position since moving in with each other. You have only been living together for over a little over a month now. But living with Yuji was great, even if your apartment was smaller than you would have liked.

Despite the both of you being full fledged sorcerers and risking your lives constantly, exorcizing curses didn’t pay the best salary. You wanted something bigger but it was cheap enough to allow the both of you to save for something much better down the line.

It was Yuji who had mentioned that fact to you, to both console your protests and to hint at more promises for the future. That had been enough to make you giddy and you would have agreed to live in a closet if it meant you could be together.

Sure, Yuji could be a little clueless at times but he always tried his best to make you happy. The two of you rarely had any disagreements even when you were being a stubborn brat. His easy going nature took your faults in stride, meeting your needs without complaint.

Yuji was always doing sweet things for you like waking up a bit earlier so you could drink your coffee (that he always burnt) in bed. He would shower you with soft kisses to coax you awake with a wide grin and a whispered ‘good morning’ that made you feel warm just remembering it.

You really couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

You were happy with Yuji.

You love him and are very happy with Yuji.

Sigh.

So then why exactly is your mind torturing you with thoughts of the cursed object inside your boyfriend taking control of his body and fucking you dumb into the mattress?

You caught yourself unconsciously chewing your lip in nervous anticipation.

Your mind couldn’t allow you to sleep because it was filled with Sukuna, The King of Curses and every jujutsu sorcerer’s sworn enemy.

Your enemy.

How could you let it come to this?

You felt guilty but it’s not like you had asked for this to start happening. That said, you made no real attempts to stop Sukuna thus far from showing up to fuck you before disappearing again like a thief in the night.

Rode hard and put away wet, he used you on his whims and it had been happening more frequently ever since the first week after you and Yuji moved-in together.

The fateful night it started was the night of your housewarming party, ironically enough.

You honestly didn't even want a damned housewarming, you recalled looking back. You thought it was impractical and a bit embarrassing to throw a housewarming for such a small flat.

Everyone would be on top of each other the entire night.

But Gojo had insisted, promising to supply the drinks and food which automatically had Yuji on board, so you just gave in. Anything to get Gojo out of your hair and seeing Yuji so excited made you smile.

The housewarming itself went well until the six eyed sorcerer had suggested a ‘friendly’ drinking game. All which would have been fine if Gojo hadn’t brought over what he called Reggae Punch.

However, it wasn’t the standard recipe of peach liqueur and oolong tea you could find in any Tokyo bar. The dark orange drink Gojo concocted was a heavy mixture of actual punch and different liquors that you couldn’t identify until you were already 2 cups in.

The son of a bitch. He had literally tricked y’all into drinking Jungle Juice.

You were already faded as hell by the time the game started so you eliminated yourself early on purpose.

Yuji, who was a good boy and never even took a sip of alcohol until he was legal earlier this year, actually thought he stood a chance at winning against his seniors. He foolishly joined-in with earnestness.

Rolling your eyes at the memory, the night ended as expected. Yuji was beyond shitfaced.

His head hung heavy and was barely still on the low chabudai table by the time Nanami (the winner) had dragged a drunken Gojo out of your apartment, who was still singing songs from the pricey digital karaoke machine he had gifted the both of you earlier in the night.

Maki and Yuta, sensible enough to stop drinking early like you, had already left.

Meaning Nobara, Inumaki and Megumi, all pretty lit themselves, had the near impossible task of dragging Panda home which you did not envy.

With everyone gone, getting Yuji into bed proved a far easier feat than expected.

You had left him some ibuprofen and pedialyte on the nightstand and a small bin next to the bed just in case he woke up and felt sick. You really didn’t mind taking care of your boyfriend who always took such good care of you.

You just wished it didn’t have to be this night. This night when you realized for the first time that mixing that much alcohol in large quantities just went straight to your pussy.

Pleasing yourself usually wasn’t an issue but after you pulled the second yet still unsatisfying orgasm from yourself is when Sukuna had made his appearance chuckling at your failed attempts.

Admittedly, you were terrified at first.

You had been dating Yuji for two years but Sukuna didn’t often show himself and he had never even addressed you directly before. It was dangerously easy to forget the most powerful evil sorcerer in existence was residing rent free inside your bf’s soul.

Nevertheless, you were hard up for a real release at that moment. A cloud of lust fogged your brain and it didn’t take much goading at all for your legs to spread like a warm jelly for The Curse King.

And he did not disappoint.

Sukuna’s sharp tongue flooded your ears with degrading praises sending electricity through your body that settled in your core where the even sharper strokes of his hips corrupted you from the inside out.

All your senses utterly stupefied, you came hard. You made a mess on him, yourself and your sheets.

And that was only round one.

Sukuna had near limitless stamina.

The next morning, achy and sore, you could barely look Yuji in the eye. You were preparing to beg for his forgiveness but you quickly realized he barely remembered the party, let alone what happened after.

In fact, it made you feel even more guilty that Yuji apologized to you. He was mad at himself for being so rough with you when he noticed the bites, bruises and marks that decorated your body thinking you both actually had sex the previous night.

You were the worst.

You really were the worst as truthfully, if you told him in that moment, he likely would have forgiven you then without question.

It’s not like you alone could stop Sukuna from doing anything he wanted to you while Yuji was unaware. You were a semi-grade 1 sorcerer, strong enough for most curses, but you would be kidding yourself to think you could take on Sukuna in a fight.

In fact wouldn’t the issue of Sukuna being able to take over Yuji’s body freely while he was unconscious be a much more pressing concern rather than how many times the curse king had made you squirt?

Yet in spite of the danger, the logic and your better judgment, you were too ashamed to tell Yuji what really happened.

That was because subconsciously a part of you knew it could happen again.

And it did.

Many times.

Except for tonight.

Sukuna had yet to make his appearance tonight.

In fact, he hadn’t shown up in the last 5 nights in a row. The longest you had gone without his dick since he started toying with you.

You recalled you had snapped at him after his last visit when his insults had started swaying from you to Yuji and his inability to please you. You told him never to visit you again and threatened to tell Yuji if he did.

Honestly you didn’t expect your threats to do much. They hadn’t previously.

As much as you wanted to be relieved that maybe Sukuna had finally grown sick of dealing with ‘Yuji’s bratty pillow princess’, a name he often called you while digging deep in your guts, you weren’t relieved at all.

If anything it annoyed you.

He hadn’t listened when you told him to leave you alone the first, second or third time so why now?

Why now after your cunt has started craving the burn of being stretched out by Sukuna?

You shiver, thinking of his heavy grip on the fat of your hips. His claws would be so dangerously close to breaking your delicate skin.

He constantly reminded you how easily he could rip you apart if he wanted to while he relentlessly clapped your cheeks from behind.

Near salivating, you snapped your head up a little too eagerly for your own liking when you felt Yuji stir beneath you thinking it was Sukuna and more than a little disappointed when it wasn’t.

You knew Yuji’s tender caresses should have made you melt, and it still did in a way. You were still in love with him.

But it wasn’t until Sukuna tainted you did you realize you didn’t want to be treated like a delicate princess.

You wanted to be manhandled.

You wanted to be made a mess of.

You wanted to be called names like the filthy cheating whore you were currently proving yourself to be. But Yuji was too tenderhearted to ever fuck you like you needed.

Squeezing your eyes shut as if you could block out all thoughts, you knew the reason you couldn't get to sleep was because you were horny for Sukuna.

The higher the heat in your belly rises the more sleep becomes impossible. Your clit burned in response to the heat in your belly which made your pussy flutter as it desperately clenched around nothing and pushed some of Yuji’s cum from earlier in the night out onto your thighs.

In that moment, all your resolve was lost.

Yuji was simply the appetizer and you were a famished woman. Still left starving for the main course.

Sukuna.

You swallow, unsure of yourself as you attempt to steel your resolve. You had already resigned yourself to the hell Sukuna put you in.

You turn your head deeper into Yuji’s chest and whisper softly against his pectorals, fingers lightly tracing his lower abs under the blankets.

“Yo…um.. Hey…Hey Sukuna… c-can you hear me?”

Silence.

You tried again. Nothing.

You huff, your patience waning.

“Damnit, Sukuna!” you whisper harshly, your voice rising slightly with irritation.

You waited more.

The only reply you received was the rise and fall of Yuji’s chest.

You were seeing red.

This lame ass motherfucker.

Was that it? Was he really done with you now after all this?

Slowly rising off of Yuji’s chest you glare down at your boyfriend as if you could somehow scowl past his body and into his soul at Sukuna.

You quietly mutter to yourself about ‘the headass lord king of body snatching curses who gots more dick in his personality than pants’ while you shuffle over to the night stand on the side of the bed.

You turn on the small light and dig deep into the drawers to pull out a toy you saved for nights you were particularly hard up and Yuji was out on a mission.

Sukuna may have been ignoring you but you could no longer ignore the throbbing screaming at you between your legs.

Maybe if you rubbed one out you could calm yourself down enough just enough to cease your anger at least.

You needed to make an attempt to relieve yourself before you really lost your mind and did something insane like knocking the mario coins out of your sweet unsuspecting boyfriend in frustration at the curse inside of him.

He didn’t deserve that.

Not like he deserved any of this, the curse inside of him nor a girlfriend like you who would spread her legs so easily for a cocky smirk and a big dick.

You closed your eyes and pushed that thought aside for now. You were sweating and near shaking in need of release.

Making yourself comfortable on the bed, you turn your vibrator on its lowest setting, so as not to disturb Yuji.

Dragging it across your skin, you snake a path for it down past your breasts, across your belly and lower still relishing the sensations across your body.

Licking your lips you barely ghosted your vibrator across your clit before a hand grabbed your wrist and another flung your toy across the room instantly smashing it into pieces.

“You really are a bratty fucking whore, you know that?”

The voice you immediately recognized as belonging to Sukuna.

And how could it not be?

It was more sultry than Yuji’s. The deep bass in his voice both teased and admonished you causing your aching clit pulsate to the rhythm of every syllable.

“As your King, I don’t recall giving you permission to touch that nasty little cunt, bitch.”

You whined in protest and attempted to pull away but it was futile in Sukuna's grip. You could feel the fire from his touch on your wrist alone beginning to spread and torch your entire body.

Exceeding the levels of any sexual frustration you ever knew in your life, his further denial to let you touch yourself threatened to spill the tears gathering in the corner of your eyes.

“I don’t recall asking you, my lord,” you spat his words back at him without thinking, “I’d ask you if you knew you were a trifling asshole but we-”

And in an instant he was on top of you.

His tattooed hands now hold both of your wrists, placing them up over your head effectively caging you in and shutting you up before you could even finish your sentence.

Your eyes widen in response to the hot snarl of his breath and the red of his glowing eyes burrowing into you.

The reality of who exactly you just decided to sass sunk in.

Sukuna on the other hand revels in your dismay.

“‘Eh? Triflin’” he said, mocking your tone and slang. “Me? Not the filthy slut who is begging me to use her boyfriend’s body to dick her down while he is sleeping? Then you have the fucking nerve to throw temper tantrums when I don’t.”

Fuck, he had heard your insults from earlier after all.

“You think a bratty bitch like you can summon me on your whims and so address me so casually at that? I’ve killed many for far less.”

He was close now, too close.

However, although hovering over you Sukuna still wasn’t touching you with the exception of the bruising grip on your wrists.

Despite the lack of contact your body still responded to the suffocating amount of heat and cursed energy radiating off his own. The intense primal instincts of your fear and arousal brewing together in your body was creating a toxic reaction, one which threatened to tear you apart if Sukuna didn’t first.

Your lip was quivering and your body was squirming beneath him.

You are completely at his mercy once again.

“And Yuji?” Sukuna continued mockingly.

His face dipped closer to yours and you let out the shaky breath you weren’t even aware you were holding.

“You’re so needy after he already gave you this dick tonight too? Tsk tsk, you really are a brazen n’ greedy whore.”

He was wrong.

Not about you being a whore, of course. You couldn’t deny that fact even if you wanted to at the moment.

But he was wrong by implying it was the same as if you were with Yuji.

When Sukuna took over, except for facial similarities, he was all but a different person.

Sukuna was taller, more muscular and thicker in all areas, his cock not being excluded from that. The tattoos that decorated his body and bound his dangerous muscles caused him to look more intimidating than Yuji ever could.

Even his scent was different. It was almost as threatening as his presence and was intoxicatingly masculine, more alpha.

You knew fighting him further was a losing battle. But you were still mad at him for ignoring you.

Nevertheless, he was here in front of you now.

You were so close to getting what you wanted. If you had to give up more of your dignity at this point then so be it, you didn’t have much left to covet anyway.

Completely surrendering yourself to him like the little bitch in heat that you were, you appeal to his ego in hopes he would fuck you.

“If you know I’m a whore then just fuck me like one already Sukuna. My King… please? Pretty please? I-I need you. Make me cum please.”, your saccharine tone contrasted with your depraved pleas coming out like a twisted prayer.

You humbled yourself and hated it. It broke the tears of frustration that had built in your eyes.

Moisture spilled down the sides of your face, yet you blinked through them in order to maintain eye contact with him.

The desperation that called to him from every fiber of your being was apparent to Sukuna, his smirk widening at your distress.

Releasing your hands in favor of your neck, a hand enclosed it applying pressure as he licked a tear trail down the side of your face.

“Tch, Even when desperate and begging you still can’t help but to be an insolent brat”, he whispered, blowing warm air into you that made you tingle.

That’s when you felt his tongue salaciously lick into your ear before pulling back to bite and suck at your lobe and neck, leaving more marks for you to try to cover in the morning.

The full weight of Sukuna’s naked body was now pressed upon yours. You whimpered as he had finally granted you the contact you craved for.

You could feel his heavy cock begin to twitch on your belly. You panted as you arched up into him, rubbing against his form creating beautiful friction between you both sending you into euphoria.

But as quickly as the contact was given, it was taken away.

“You should know by now, Y/N.... Disobedient brats need to be punished.”

Part 2

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but it got a little out of control with writing the lewd scenes. Part 2 is almost done and is FILTHY omg. I will try to post by tomorrow night or Saturday. (updated as of 9/12).

Lol also for anyone who doesn't know Reggae Punch is actually a popular drink in Japan. I did not make that up. It really doesn't have much alcohol content in it at all. But I LOL'd at Gojo tricking them into drinking Jungle Juice cause its literally night and day.

Also imo, Nanami and his salaryman vibe you know would win a drinking contest out of any JJK man so thats canon to me (excluding Toji as according to official fanbook alcohol has zero effect on him so he doesn't even drink it).

Any mistakes please DM, no rude or criticizing comments please.

P.S. I promise I don't hate Yuji.

Reblogs, likes, comments appreciated!!

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

909 notes · View notes

mazosstuff · 1 year ago

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Heartsteel boys × classical singer!reader

Pairings: Aphelios, Ezreal, Sett, Kayn, Yone, K'sante (separately) × gn reader

Cw: maybe reader being a little insecure?

Words: 1.1 k

Aphelios

• You sometimes forget he's in the house, so, thinking you're alone, you start singing a little.

• You were no master at it so it was a little hard for you to say if you were singing with your throat or not, and that was one of his reasons why you never sang infront of him, but following some advices from your vocal coach helped alot.

• You were cooking something when you remembered the part of an opera you did when you didn't know Phel.

• Not noticing him, you started singing the solo and, my my, our boy was shocked.

• He realised you didn't know he was there, but he just stared at you awestruck.

• You never raised your voice in front of him, but to hear it so loudly, he was certainly amazed by it. (Doesn't mean that you were screaming, but it is pretty loud when someone sings right next to you, been there, done that myself)

• It was powerful, and even if he didn't understand a word of what you said, he still thought it was beautiful.

After ending your solo, you turned around and saw him, completely frozen in the spot.

Your cheeks went red

"Phel!" You exclaimed. "I didn't know you were home."

He grabbed his phone and wrote on the notes: do it again

"You... wanna hear me sing?" He nodded his head.

"And to think people say I'm too loud when I sing like this... don't you mind?" He shook his head to indicate a no.

Ezreal

• He kinda knew you sang a little, but he never knew what kind of genre you would be into.

• When you heard their song for the first time, you liked it a lot, so he thought your favourite genre of music must be electronic or pop.

• Truth to be told, you were really versatile with your taste in music.

• You two have a shared playlist where you once put an aria by accident, and you didn't notice until he told you.

"Babe, do you listen to classical music?" You stared at him. How did he know?

"Yeah... I usually sing it too..."

"Shut up, let me hear you! I wanna hear you sing the one you put in our playlist."

Panic. Total fucking panic. What if he didn't like it? What if you messed up the high note? What if...?

"Okay" you finally gave in.

"Let me just prepare a little... I don't wanna hurt my vocal cords."

After preparation, you started. Your heart pounded like crazy.

All went smoothly. You were so scared of having a voice crack but it never happened.

He got his yellow glasses and put them on his face just to push them down (like the scene in the MV).

"Why didn't you tell me I have a soulmate who sings better than me?"

"What...?"

"You can do high notes and everything! I need to tell this to everyone! My soulmate is already special by themselves, but this? You're amazing!"

Sett

• I feel like his mother would turn up the volume of the radio whenever classical music was put.

• He usually rolled his eyes when he was younger, but with age he started to understand the work and the vocal training people put to reach those levels. He respected it.

• Once you were going somewhere so he turned on the radio to put some music and the station the radio was on was the one of classical music.

• Before he could change the station you started singing.

• He secretly started to record you.

• He was impressed to say the least.

You looked over to him. "Delete that. Now."

"Oh come on, babe. You have millions of videos of me singing. Why can't I have one of you?"

"Touché..."

"Do you think I can sing whatever you sang now?"

"Do you wanna end up like Phel?"

"Omg, no"

"Then don't"

Kayn

• Bro rolls his eyes whenever he hears the words classical and music put together.

• He will pretend to throw up whenever you make him listen to a song that's not rock, pop, metal, or anything that doesn't have fast rhythm.

• One time it happened that you found a recording of you singing.

• He wanted to listen to make fun of your taste in music, but he was...

• He couldn't understand.

• Something he thought was lame just became... angelic.

"So... what do you think...?"

"It's okay, I guess"

"Wait... you are telling me that you liked it? Kayn, sweety, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. And what's with the sweety now? Don't say that again"

So, under that façade of the bad boy, there is a golden heart after all.

Yone

• He listens to the classic music playlists on spotify. You can't tell me otherwise.

• Would be delighted to know that you two shared this little interest.

• Would let you sing him to sleep if he allowed himself to rest.

• Once, because you had a minor argument, you slept in separate rooms.

• He couldn't sleep so tried with the music he had saved of spotify but nothing worked.

He knocked at your door.

"What?" You asked him, still pretty pissed off, but probably because of the tiredness and the sadness.

"I can't sleep."

"Me neither"

"Can... can you sing me that one melody you sing me everytime?"

"Can't you just listen it on your own?"

"Why deprive myself of the better version when I have it right in front of me?" The reality was that he needed your voice and not some of a stranger.

If your body wasn't a solid, it would have melted right there.

"Fine..."

(But no seriously, how can you not love this man)

K'Sante

• He would start humming with you some famous pieces.

• I don't know why but I have the feeling that he also has heard somethings so he has a basic knowledge of classical music.

• He asked why didn't you join a choir yet. With your talent, you should.

• He once tried sneaking up on you while you were reading a music sheet.

• With how scared you were you hit a high note that wasn't even in your range, or at least you thought it wasn't.

• The man was too stunned to speak.

"Did you just...?"

"I didn't even know that was in my range..."

"What were you reading anyway? Did you join a choir?" He gasped in excitement.

"Yeah... I followed your advice. It's actually more welcoming than I thought it would be"

"I'm so happy you're comfortable there!" He picked you up and hugged you.

A/n: Hi there! Paranoia has been stuck in my mind for quite some time, so I thought I might write something for the boys from the perspective of someone who grew up in a family of musicians and professional classical singers.

Riot... you gotta tell me why do you create them, make them drop a banger, and make them disappear into thin air.

I am waiting for a comeback of both K/DA and True Damage.

I hope you liked this! As always, requests are open. Check my pinned post!

#league of legends x reader #heartsteel x reader #aphelios x reader #ezreal x reader #sett x reader #yone x reader #kayn x reader #ksante x reader

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wowcatboys · 1 year ago

Note

Hi Keyes! Nice to meet you ❤️ I was wondering if you would accept a request 👉🏻👈🏻

Its my first time asking for requests! So sorry if Im not clear enough of if I forget the rules. Im totally new at this T-T

I had this idea in my mind for a long time and I was wondering if you could consider writing it! Kayn x fem reader headcannons where Kayn falls haaaard for reader cause he found a partner in crime in her. They both like to cause a little trouble here and there, and also he found someone that could drive ever FASTER than him.

Omg Im so in love with him 😮‍💨❤️

Thank you and hope Im not breaking any rules!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

HEARTSTEEL KAYN/TROUBLEMAKER READER ♡ No TW's ♡ SFW ♡ Nice to meet you, you're so sweet!! Thank you for your fantastic request, I loved writing it! I hope you'll feel free to request more in the future (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

KAYN

Instead of traditional nicknames like "honey" or "babe", Kayn exclusively calls you his little demon. Given your wild side, it's pretty accurate.

All it takes to get Kayn to do something is a dare. He has a hard time turning down dares as is, but if it's coming from you? His partner in crime and chief enabler? Oh, no way in hell he's backing down. Naturally it works for big, bold things: popping a wheelie on the Paranoia MV motorcycles, climbing a water tower, vandalizing a cop car. It also works for small things, too, though. Dare him to get you a glass of water or give you a kiss and he'll roll his eyes, but comply. "Oh, a dare, huh? You know I can't turn those down." He folds to your innocent, cute demands like paper. Just be mindful, though; he knows you're a troublemaker too, and he's not afraid to throw a dare or two of his own your way.

Whenever Ernest is naughty, fingers immediately point at you and Kayn. "He gets it from you two," the rest of Heartsteel claims. Kayn just shrugs. "We're his favorite," he defends (not true—Ezreal is clearly Ernest's favorite, but it's best not to rub that in Kayn's face). "Of course he's gonna take after us." He rubs Ernest's ears, completely ignoring the fact that he just stole food off the counter or shredded K'sante's favorite shoes. "Yeah, you're our little monster, huh?" If you didn't know any better, you might think Kayn is encouraging the dog's troublemaking...

(He is. He totally is. You've literally seen him sneak Ernest a treat after turning one of Sett's plushies into a chew toy.)

Kayn nabbed your phone one time and set the home screen as a picture of his mug shot from the music video. Not to be outdone, you stole his phone and set the home screen as a picture of your mug shot. Kayn has nothing but questions. "Is this real?? The fuck did you do? Why do you look so hot in this..." Of course, you don't tell him if it's real or staged. You can't give away all your secrets so easily, now, can you?

There's a change jar in the Heartsteel apartment kitchen marked "Kayn and (Y/N)'s Bail Fund". At first you thought it was a complete joke, but then you noticed Ezreal drop a twenty in there after Kayn broke a Taco Bell drive-thru window during a night-out. Now you're not so sure. Either way, hopefully you'll never have to use it for that.

Every single time you and Kayn go somewhere, it's a race. You line your cars up at the mouth of the parking garage and then you fucking go. You've raced to McDonald's for lunch, raced him to his rehearsals, you even raced him to a funeral one time. There are no rules except 'get there first', and yes, this little game has resulted in multiple speeding tickets. But whatever what's a small fine compared to an adrenaline rush? They wouldn't put 130 on the speedometer if they didn't want you to do it.

Kayn and you have been permanently banned from a fair handful of establishments. Reasons why include: totaling a go-kart, throwing bowling balls overhead, bribing a ring toss worker to get a gigantic Bulbasaur without playing the game (Sett really, really wanted it). And that's the beginning. Don't even get Yone started on the infamous Laser Tag Incident...

The perfect date for you two is a rage room. Yone got you and Kayn passes for a local rage room for Kayn's birthday one year. Playing frisbee with glass dinner plates? A surprisingly good time. Sure, they may have asked you not to come back after Kayn got a little rowdy with an old radio and an extension cord (you asked him how high he thought he could slingshot the thing and the answer was "pretty fucking far", which of course he had to prove), but it was a good time regardless. Whenever Kayn's feeling extra stressed and you don't want to deal with the fallout around real property damage, you take him to a rage room for the afternoon and smash bottles to your hearts' content.

Kayn never paid much attention to minor scrapes and bruises before meeting you. But, since you're now hopping fences or slipping through open windows together, he's suddenly become attuned to the bumps acquired while daredevilling. He keeps a small container of band-aids in his bag just for you. "I might have some bandages in here," he grumbles whenever you get scraped up. "Dunno if I used 'em all." (Of course he hasn't. They're your band-aids and he wouldn't dream of using one.)

Whenever Kayn just needs to talk, the two of you often sneak into an old building to do it. Getting caught puts your nerves on edge, for sure, but it allows Kayn to pretend he's not anxious about discussing his own feelings or worries. Of course he feels vulnerable, you two are trespassing! That's totally why his palms are sweating and his chest feels tight. It has nothing to do with his deep-seated reluctance to talk about his emotions. If you can tell Kayn's wound up extra tight, offer to sneak into a nearby community pool or abandoned gas station late at night. Under cover of darkness, in the silent hallways of a vacant building, Kayn lets you take a peek under his dark shell.

#heartsteel #heartsteel headcanons #heartsteel kayn #heartsteel x reader #kayn #kayn x reader #kayn/reader #sheida kayn #lovewhatsnotreal

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cuupidsss · 7 months ago

Note

Can I request an sbg x fem reader one-shot who has the powers of winter from aespa's new Supernova mv in the phantom world, but the drawback is that she gets sick and vomits blood + she has lucky girl syndrome (which means she's lucky asf)

A sbg x gn reader who is like emu otori from wonderlandxshowtime and she is the captain of the dance team + and has the fighting technique of mizuki just search up "mizuki wrestler" on tiktok.

I’m doing the second one because I’m inlove with the cute theme soo.. hope you like it ^_^

— I also added the lucky girl syndrome for this cause it fits a little, I would take your first request but it takes SO MUCH more research, I’ll find a time to do it though. ❤️

How could they truly react to you? When they had first met you their first impressions went well to say the least. You were bubbly and expressive and now or less extroverted. You were giggly aswell and it was hard to deny how you were a little ditzy sometimes.

Everyday at school you were always in a good mood, they never caught you in a bad one. At first when the phantom realm thing started they thought that it didn’t happen to you. They didn’t see you for the first or second time they went, it confused them, it truly did. You went to the sorrel weed house to? So how come it didn’t affect you.

They soon came to realize that was not the case. They saw you one day, running towards them and waving. Ashlyn was the first to react, it was only a couple minutes into the second day and you were just so happy to be here? Taylor ran towards you and you both hugged, even though you all aren’t close. Tyler and Ben were more or less standing awkwardly but Tyler looked a little upset. Aiden was just being.. Aiden? He was asking you some dumb questions and poking you. Logan looked concerned but everyone was overall okay.

You were really tired, you rubbed your eyes as they asked and harassed you with their concerned. You gave them a odd face and just shrugged.

“I don’t know! Lol?” You said with a little smile, they all suddenly had straight faces and Taylor giggled at how lost you sounded. “Those blob things were scary though!” You sounded so shocked, but not scared… at all.

You guys had been going to the realm for a couple days after this silly incident and they hadn’t really seen you fight, they all figured you couldn’t, Ashlyn decided that you guys might aswell see her parents to train. It could benefit all of you.

They were shocked, very shocked. ON HOW YOU REFUSED. Why didn’t you want to do it? It would literally benefit all of them. Tyler had the most negative reaction.

“Come on, this would help all of us! You’ll just drag us down if you can’t defend yourself!” He said something like that, practically saying you were dead weight if you couldn’t be of use. It didn’t hurt you to much, you knew what he meant to say and yet it didn’t affect you.

You decided to tell them you would accompany them, and accompany you did. When they asked one more time if you wanted to take your turn at getting your ass beat you said.

“No thank you!” And smiled sheepishly, “I already have sports I do like wrestling, I don’t need to learn anymore stuff!” The whole group went silent.

“Why didn’t you tell us that before?” Tyler asked. You didn’t hear him very well, it sounded like mumbling.

“Huh? What was-“ “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US THAT BEFORE?” His reaction was sort of funny, but you just kind of stood there all silly and blinked sheepishly.

You and Aiden get along pretty well, but you’ve had your creative differences.

“I think it’ll look better like this!” You said, showing him the show outfit idea for your next match.

“I think you should add a bow on the chest part, like a glitter force character!” He said nonchalantly as you groaned..

“Okay, should I add glitter?” You asked, your eyes lighting up, he quickly agreed. You got for work on it immediately.

They’ve come to a couple of your wrestling matches, you joined the school club. The club wasn’t separated by genders so imagine their suprise when you took down some guy who was much taller than you with little to no effort. After the match when you met up with them the first thing you said was;

“This uniform they make us wear is so not cute! Or comfy for that matter, they only let me put some sweatpants over the bottoms. And the bottoms are so tight!” You just raged about the uniform, you looked like a sad puppy, but they you brightened up again, “were you all impressed?”

“Why don’t you do this stuff in the phantom realm?” Taylor asked with a dumbstruck face as you mimicked her and everyone went silent. Ashlyn stared at you before sighing and dismissing Taylor’s question after looking at your face.

You and Ashlyn are close aswell. The grumpy, quiet and observant with the cute, playful, ditzy one was your guys favorite stereotype. Or at least yours..?

You two are complete opposites but go so well together, the only thing she has to complain about is how you can be so, so clueless.

“What do you think, (name)?” You blinked at Ashlyn’s question and made a weird face.

“About what?” You asked scratching your neck. She stared at you for a minute befor asking;

“Are you serious?” They had just been talking about the plan and you had missed so much of it. Besides that encounter you guys get along swell.

Taylor? Taylor is your girl. Your go to bestie, your number one. She gets you, she really gets you.

“Do you like my outfit? It’s for wrestling! I have a match tonight!” She marveled at your presented outfit, you had all been hanging out at your house and you wanted to personally show Taylor your outfit, in your room while the others hangout downstairs.

“It’s so cute? How is that for wrestling?” She says, messing with the bow that Aiden insisted you add. “The bow is cute.” You deadpan.

“Yeah it’s cute I guess.” You say blushing cockily, you flip your hair dramatically as you both burst out into giggles.

Now, Logan? Logan, Logan, Logan.. how did you approach this one? Well he was a little intimidated by you, you were so bubbly, loud and creative that he just couldn’t get over how overwhelming you are.

“Logan!” You said, hugging him it was early morning and you had gotten to school early, you didn’t take the bus. You saw Logan just standing off to the side awkwardly. At first he was always put off by your affectionate nature, also how nice you were.

“(Name)?” He said, slightly hugging you back. He had seemed to have gotten used to it. It were times like now that he appreciated your personality. Ben came up beside you two and waved, you and Logan had already stopped hugging as you waved at Ben.

Ben was sweet, really sweet. When you had met Ben you were a little put off. He was kind of awkward around you, but he was also really nice to you. He never spoke, unlike you, but you seemed to get used to it just like Logan got used to you. One day you both were in the realm and you had beaten the shit out of some globs, as you like to call them. You had scrapped your ankle when you all had booked it t safety.

“Thanks Ben.” You whispered to him, while everyone conversed. He had wrapped your ankle neatly for you, you couldn’t help but smile at his generosity. He looked at you before nodding and turning his attention back to the group. He was really just shy, or was he?

Tyler was a special case. I don’t think he’d ever get used to how peppy you are. Your kind of like Aiden, it annoys him to think that.

“Tylerrrr!” You said, trying to get his attention by poking him. You guys were at lunch, you were sitting at the table together and today you had sat next to him. He had to breath in before giving you a look.

“What?” He said before looking back at his plate.

“Are you gonna eat that?“ you said, looking at his extra soda he got from the vending machine. He looked at it, he was gonna save it for his next couple classes but.. he handed it to you, without even thinking. Why didn’t he think? He just gave it to you? You took it great fully, that’s where your guys mural friendship started.

You still scare them sometimes, everyone gets scared by how reckless you are, going into battle without a second thought is dangerous. You somehow NEVER get hurt other then the ankle thing. It literally shocks them.

One time you fell out of a tree you and Aiden were messing around in and you landed on Ashlyn perfectly. You could’ve gotten hurt but you somehow landed on her in the perfect position.. how the freaky deeky?

Another extremely lucky moment was when you guys were on top of a large building and you fell off only to land on one of the window sills, somehow? Taylor had to find that window and pull you through it.

Another time you were fighting a phantom and you jumped off of a fucking refrigerator and landed your feet hit directly on top of its head as it was WALKING PAST so it was still moving!

They have never seen someone so damn lucky.

“Do you have something that makes you so lucky?” Taylor asks and suddenly everyone else started asking too.

“Yeah, even Aiden isn’t that lucky.” Ashlyn barged into the conversation.

“She’s just stupid.” Tyler says and Logan silently laughs. Ben. Sighs at the insult before you pipe up.

“I guess you could call me lucky man!” You’d say, like you’ve discovered a new species.

“Your a female.” Aiden correct.

—

That’s all I have, sorry I’m lazy and tired tday lol

#aiden clark #school bus graveyard #tyler sbg #ashlyn banner #taylor sbg #taylor hernandez #tyler hernandez #sbg x reader #school

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vincord · 11 months ago

Text

Borderline Kotoko and why.

(I'm not a psychiatrist, a specialist, or anyone else. Everything that follows is just my own vision of the character as a person with bpd. I like to headcanoning to my favorite characters what I have, especially if I see similarities with their feelings/behavior/relationships. I don't headcanon to the characters and my kins what I don't have myself and what I don't know much about. It's just a hedcanon and you may disagree with it, if you want.)

Since her second MV has been released, I can finally put all my thoughts together and write this post. (thanks to my mutual who told me to post this here. Without her little support, I wouldn't have done it)

I would like to start by saying that it is obvious that Kotoko divides the world into black and white, good and evil, allies and enemies. This is one of the main themes that can be traced throughout Kotoko's narrative. There is no middle ground for her, It's either this or that. This hinders Kotoko in her relationships with others, it hinders her in her relationship with herself and the perception of everything that is happening around her.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation.

During all this time, it has been shown how Kotoko is able to idealize people or just treat them well, but then push them away from her if they do or say something that undermines her trust in them. She takes a defensive position, because an opinion different from hers is equated with a threat and danger.

"Lucky"

Kotoko treats the rescued girl quite well only as long as she doesn't read the news.

_ Kazui

The 1st trial. Question 6.

"Who's the prisoner you have the most interest in?" Kotoko: It's hard to say. As of now, if it's about whose character I can't quite grasp, it'd be Kazui with his strong sense of intellectual curiosity.

The 2nd trial. Timeline (2022/08/05)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.

She is interested in him and communicating with him. They really have common topics to talk about and maybe they could even get along. But he does something that she doesn't like and is directed against her and her ideals. Kazui stands up for those whom Kotoko planned to punish, thereby turning her against himself, despite the small number of common themes that seemed to make her a little more loyal to him. This act alone is enough for her to instantly begin to see him as an enemy, not an ally. _

Kotoko's idealization and disillusionment with people are best manifested in her relationship with Es. In the beginning, she offers them cooperation, seeing that Milgram is somewhat similar to what she adheres to, only to push them away when her opinion was not agreed.

The 1st trial. Voice drama.

Kotoko: Some scenes.. you can only see it in a cell. Because you and I are the same, always observing the other prisoners.

Es: Kotoko. A person like you.. What have you planned? Kotoko: Heh. Me, I want to be like you. There's no way I can tolerate sin.

Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your true intentions. And I don't know whether you are a similar person with similar thoughts. Who knows, maybe it's just my delusion of wishful thinking.

The 2nd trial. Voice drama.

Es: Listen to me. You're wrong. Kotoko: What? We've decided to work together, so i've become your fangs.

Es: That's enough. We have different views on it. I'm not continuing to work with you.

Beginning. They make it clear to her that they disagree with her and consider her wrong.

Es: Kotoko. I will not do what you say. I will determine the way i see both sin and punishment as i want it. It may seem wrong from your point of view. And that's understandable. I'm pretty aware of it.

Kotoko: How ridiculous... It's always like this... All of you weaklings always act like this... All of you enjoy seeing someone getting hurt...

Kotoko: You keep asking for it, but as soon as it happens near you by your own choice, you all start complaining and evading your responsibility... You're always like this... Always such idiots!

Kotoko: You have no power, and yet you make no effort to gain it! You're talking about justice, but it just doesn't make sence! You're invested in people's disasters, yet you take a position of "i have nothing to do with it"! You can't even face your true selves!

Ending. After they disagree with Kotoko, she instantly forgets everything she said before. Now they are no longer similar people with similar interests. Now Es is the exact opposite of that. _

It is also worth recalling that since her birthday in 2022 to birthday in 2023, Kotoko has never contacted any of the other prisoners. She isolated herself from her surroundings for quite a long time, only to then offend them all. She didn't trust any of them before, but now, when she sees that no one agrees with her, she has done everything to build a barrier between them and herself.

Most people with BPD react sharply to rejection, disagreement with them, actions directed against them, and so on, which they can interpret as betrayal and something that threatens their own safety. Sometimes it doesn't matter what a person has done or said. The reaction to this can be strong and vivid. ___

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Here I focus only on paranoia and stress. Kotoko doesn't trust anyone, she's always tense and wary. Even in simple conversations with prisoners, she may feel threatened and something directed against herself. Actually, there is already a post that would fit this point and which is a little more detailed. It says more about PTSD, but still.

The 1st trial. Timeline (2020/05/30)

Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? But it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sport? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts? Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that? Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you do like yoga or something? Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or are just an airhead.

The 1st trial. Timeline (2020/07/09)

Kotoko: Kazui, you do martial arts right. ……what type? Judo? Kazui: Ah, my main is…… judo, and kendo. I also know a little bit of karate. You must have some martial arts experience too, right, Yuzuriha-chan? I can tell by looking. Hmm… probably a combat type…… I’m guessing not karate…… is it Taekwondo? Kotoko: ……I’m not telling you. Stop ogling me like that. It’s gross. Kazui: I-isn’t that a bit unfair?

+ Literally this moment.

___

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) +

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events

In both of her MVs, from time to time there is a sudden transition to wolves, the red moon and Kotoko's inner world, during which she gives free rein to her emotions. It's like emotional outbursts and outbursts of aggression, the appearance of which you cannot predict, which is why they cause damage both to the one who has them, and, perhaps, to those who are around.

Not that I can say anything about symbolism, I don't think i understand it. But since this is my post and my headcanon, I can interpret what is happening the way I want.

For all its secrecy and unsociability, most of Kotoko's outfits are quite open, compared to the outfit with the red jacket. When she's in this outfit, she's either in her inner world, or with an emotional outburst, or hurting someone. Wearing a hood is an attempt to protect yourself from the outside world and the people around you, to keep all your emotions to yourself, which are already suppressed. Kotoko, with her hood up, is cold and aloof from everyone. She builds a kind of wall between herself and the others. When she removes the hood from her head, she breaks down these walls, allowing a bunch of different emotions to break out and mix.

I would also like to mention how she sounds in her second voice drama and second song. She goes from emotion to emotion and pretty quickly. The way she quickly goes from laughter to intense anger, from intense anger to utter despair and is on the verge of tears, only to then return to anger again, and then suddenly quiet down. ___

Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self +

Chronic feelings of emptiness

The 1st trial. Question 1

"Just who are you?" Kotoko: Yuzuriha Kotoko. Someone who plans to fight for your sake. Well, that depends on you too, though.

Kotoko doesn't perceive herself as a person, but rather as a tool to achieve a particular goal. Someone who will do the dirty work that others won't do. She has a first name, last name, age, and that's all. Her whole definition goes through her own ideals, which she desperately clings to and clings to. Kotoko's views are radical and in most cases don't imply compromises. She's either a hero or nobody, so she always needs a reason to follow her ideals and do everything according to them.

Otherwise, there will be nothing left of her. ___

What can I say at the end? Well, this is my headcannon and that's it. I could have forgotten something, made a mistake somewhere, or not completed it. It's hard for me to keep track of it.

Kotoko is one of my favorite characters and some of the things related to her evoke a strong response in me, even if these things show the negative side of the personality and cause a pang of guilt/dislike. It's like you're being shown those disadvantages of yours that you're trying to ignore.

I like to think that she crushes a lot of emotions inside herself, trying not to let them escape. I like to think that sometimes she's afraid of herself, and sometimes she's not. Her cooperation with someone is both a feeling of being needed, and avoiding loneliness, and a moment of socialization. But she can't stand it, because any little thing or the wrong word triggers a survival mode in her head, which is why she builds high walls between herself and the environment again.

I have a lot of thoughts about her. I just wanted to pour at least a small part of these thoughts out of my head into a relatively structured post and that's all. Thanks for reading it. I've been carrying it all in my head for quite a long time and I don't want to wait for the release of her answers to the questions, you know...

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #vncrd's text

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starryjeekies · 1 year ago

Text

~ Watch Out For the Shy Ones ~

Pairing: kang yeosang x fem!reader x yang jeongin (gn pronouns used)

Genre: smut, pwp

Summary: after working on the set of kingdom, you landed yourself working for the company of the winners, stray kids. now a year later, i.n invites you to his birthday party at a club. after meeting up with him and running into an old friend from the show, yeosang, the usually shy members of their groups let slip a little secret. will this secret lead to more secrets between the sheets?

Warnings: pure smut, threesome, oral (m receiving), cum eating, protected sex, pet names (doll mainly), alcohol consumption (drink responsibly), switch!yeosang, switch!jeongin, dom!reader, nothing too crazy, if there's more let me know!

Words: 8k

A/N: long time no see! I did start writing this not too long after i wrote double trouble (please check it out if you haven't!) but took a break due to work/life. once I saw ateez announced that it's you was going to get an mv, i decided to start working on it again. now, i am posting this in celebration of the it's you mv dropping. any and all feedback is appreciated! i have more ideas for the future so stay tuned <3

There wasn’t a day that went by that wasn’t filled with chaos. You had landed one of your first jobs with Mnet and even thought the management itself was really shitty, it did pay decently well. You had started there right as Mnet was finding groups to compete on Kingdom. You had already known The Boyz were going to be on since they won Road to Kingdom, so you could only imagine what other idol groups would be competing. You didn’t have any say in picking out who else but you were happy to see some of your other favorite groups be there.

You had known Stray Kids and Ateez would be there thanks to Hyunjin and San performing with Juyeon and that made you excited. They both had immaculate talent that needed to be showcased. You were glad to help throughout their time on Kingdom. Sure, you didn’t work specifically with only those groups, but being a stage tech crew member, you were excited to see their stages the most. You created the bell in Stray Kids’ Side Effects/God’s Menu stage, you did the research for how much the tentacle was going to cost for Ateez’s Symphony No. 9 stage, it was cool to see your hard work be part of the reason both groups you enjoyed rank top 3 in the end.

There wasn’t too much interaction you got with the groups themselves besides right before a performance to do prop checks, but they were always super nice to you. You appreciated their kindness, not seeing it from your own company most of the time. All of the idols, in fact, were very sweet and thankful for your help during the show. You ended up staying late with many of them to make sure their practices ran smoothly with scene changes, props, ropes, everything. Many times, that’s when you just simply stayed the night at the studio in one of the dressing rooms because the drive to your apartment would take too much time.

Then, once Kingdom was done and Stray Kids had won, you were able to land yourself a temp position at JYPE doing exactly what you were doing at Mnet but with a much more rewarding crew to work with. Someone in Stray Kids put in a good word for you, you believe. Eventually, that position became a full time set design crew member for their music videos and jacket shootings. Now, almost a year later, you are getting ready for a party. Jeongin’s birthday party.

Surprisingly, he had invited you out to his 21st birthday party. Well, Chan had invited you on I.N’s behalf because he couldn’t do it himself. Now that you had gotten closer to Stray Kids, it was easier for you to talk to them regularly. You would still be formal with them, but it was easy to have fun with the boys when time allowed it. If there was downtime between scene setup and when the boys had to start shooting, it wasn’t uncommon for one of them to strike up a conversation with you. Jeongin, however, did it more so when it was just you two or everyone else was far enough away. It wasn’t like your conversations were necessarily private or anything, but he was one of the more shy ones from the group.

Chan told you about a club that I.N wanted to go to; it was an underground one that allowed idols to party away from the general public. The only people who knew about it were other idols and some staff members from the companies. Trainees or low level employees had no knowledge of its existence. There were many around Seoul, being as big of a city as it is and how many kpop groups there are now. People know they exist, but the locations of them are kept hidden.

Since it is a club you’re going to, you decide to let yourself dress freely. A low cut red top and a tight black leather skirt with some pumps is your way to go. When looking at yourself in the mirror, anxiety starts to grow in your belly. How formal should I be with the guys? It’s after work hours but I still work for them. I shouldn’t get too crazy, but I do want to have fun. Jeongin did invite me after all. You decide to suck it up and have fun, wanting to enjoy celebrating the idol.

Leaving your apartment, you start your journey via subway as it’s still open at 11 pm. You quickly get to Hongdae and start walking towards the club. After downing the soju bottle you bought from 7-Eleven on the ride over, you feel ready to get the night started. The club is hidden behind a restaurant on the corner, allowing you to sneak into the back alley and down the stairs. There’s a small neon sign on the brick next to the door, a keypad, and a large metal door. After punching in the code Chan gave you, the green light flashes and the door unlocks.

You quickly step inside and let the door close heavily behind you but no one notices. The music is loud and booming and you realize the door makes the rest of the place hidden because of the soundproofing. There’s no bouncer at the front door but there is someone for a coat check which you graciously hand them your thick coat you wore since it is February. You look around and see some of the members of different groups you’ve met or seen before as well as people you don’t recognize who might be employees from their companies.

You make your way to the bar, squeezing in between people to try and order a drink.

“Hi, what are you looking for?” The bartender asks you, leaning his elbow on the counter.

“Something strong, please.” You respond back, leaning closer for him to hear you.

“How about some soju bombs for the birthday boy?”

You turn and see Jeongin standing there, his huge cheesy grin plastered on his face. You smile back at him and shout, “Hey!”

He laughs and pulls you in for a hug, obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol he’s already consumed. He’s glad when he feels you squeeze him tightly back. When you pull away, he’s eager to look at the bartender for more drinks. “Two soju bombs, please.”

“Well, happy birthday to you, Jeongin.” You hold onto his arm lightly as he does the same to you.

“That’s only, like, the fourth time you told me that today.” He laughs again, causing your ears to flare up hot. “But I appreciate it, thanks for coming out tonight.”

“My pleasure, there’s no work tomorrow so I can be out as late as you want me.” You smile, leaning against the bar.

“That’s good to hear, because I plan to party for a while.” He winks at you which makes you even more flustered, causing him to shake your arm lightly. “Hey, let loose, have fun, no-no need to have formalities tonight.”

You shake your head lightly, watching as he looks into your eyes. “This is the loosest I’ve seen you act in my whole time at the company, so I think we’re pretty even in the ‘who needs to let loose’ games.”

“Alright, alright,” The younger man shakes off your remark and instead motions behind you to the two beer glasses sitting behind you. “I have a tab started so don’t even worry.”

You ended up being with Jeongin for a significant part of the night. You would dance together, get a drink, break off whenever he had someone else who would wish him a happy birthday, then meet back up at the table for another drink, talk for a while about him or you, and repeat. That cycle has happened about two or three times now and you’re currently at the table, checking your phone for the time. It’s past 2 am and you’re still not exhausted which is interesting.

“Not getting bored, are you?”

You look up and see another familiar face, a cheeky smile beaming down at you. You’re delighted to see the man standing there. “Yeosang!”

He invites himself to sit next to you, squeezing in close on the semi circle booth. “It’s been a while, Y/N.”

“Awh, you remembered my name,” You chuckle, resting a hand on his knee. “I’m flattered.”

He laughs incredulously, covering his mouth with his hand. “What do you mean? Of course I remember your name. You act like we didn’t work together for months.”

“That was also a year plus ago.” You smirk, looking at him. He’s fucking gorgeous. His hair is a beautiful blond, long and thick. He definitely looks dressed to party; he’s wearing a shirt with only one sleeve and the opposite hip cut out with leather pants. His blond locks are pushed back with a few strands falling in front of his face. His beautiful heart shaped face has light makeup which accentuates his features delightfully. In your intoxicated state, you’d jump his bones right then and there if it was acceptable. “People grow and change.”

“I mean, I don’t think I’m that different from a year ago.” He looks to the table for a moment, only glancing at you briefly.

“Well, you’re just as hot.” You smirk, watching him get flustered and wave you off.

“And you’re more bold.”

“And you’re just as shy.”

He looks at you somewhat defiantly, not wanting to give you the satisfaction of being right. “I prefer to call it more introverted.”

You smirk again, resting your chin in your hand. “Fine, have it your way then. And besides, it’s just the alcohol. Jeongin and I are almost going shot for shot and he’s not as much of a lightweight as I thought.”

“Oh, you’re here for his birthday too?” He smiles lightly, seeing that you stayed in contact with someone else from Kingdom.

“Yeah, I work for JYPE now so I get to see him pretty regularly.” You giggle, updating him on the new thing that’s happened. “He invited me out and we’ve been hanging together for the most part but I’m pretty sure I saw Allen from Cravity steal him away.”

“Ah, he invited me too but I haven’t-”

“Kang Yeosang!” On cue, the birthday boy comes to the table with three double shots of what is presumed to be soju. “Took you forever to show up!”

“I’ve been here!” He retorts back, looking teasingly at the boy. “You just finally made yourself free.”

“I had to buy you a drink first, sorry it took so long.” He slides the shot glass to his friend while also giving you a drink. “It’s the least I can do for you before you go back on tour.”

“You’re in the middle of a tour?” You look towards the older guy as you down your shot.

He takes his with little grimace and pushes the glass away. “Yeah, we just finished our USA leg and we are heading to Europe in a week or so.”

“Wow, big things!” You smirk, then look to I.N who has slung an arm around your shoulders. “We’ve just been catching up since the last time we saw each other.”

“Ah, telling him how much cuter you’ve gotten?”

“Oh my god!” You squeal at his comments, Yeosang laughing at your response. “You, sir, have had enough to drink. You’re usually as bad as Yeosang yet here you are hitting on me.”

“What, can I not compliment you?” He looks offended at your statement. “Come on, Yeosang, don’t they look great tonight?”

He looks put on the spot, but you notice that the Ateez member does, indeed, look you up and down to take in your appearance. It makes something stir inside you to be checked out by an idol you’ve looked up to, something dangerous. “I have to give it to I.N, he has a point.”

“Wow, okay, you two.” You hold your hands up in defeat, relenting to the men on either side of you. “Color me shocked as neither of you had said anything in the time that I’ve worked with you both.”

“We never said it to you directly.”

You look between them, not believing what you’re hearing. Your face heats up more as what’s insinuated sets in. “You guys have talked about me before?”

Now their real personalities shine. Now being confronted with the reality of what they’ve acknowledged to be doing, Yeosang looks at the pushed away shot glass while Jeongin’s eyes are focused into his lap. The tension is…weird. It’s awkward but also sexual. You swallow down the awkwardness that you feel and decide to look at Jeongin since he’s been more liberal with his answers tonight. “What exactly have you two talked about regarding me?”

He rolls his eyes lightly, finding his rings more interesting than your eyes. “Just things…”

You huff and look towards the dancer, seeing his ears are bright red. “What things?”

Yeosang looks over to the younger man, blinking a few times. “Uh, well…”

This time, your sigh is dramatic as you push your hair back. “Well, boys, it’s been lovely with this little chit chat, but if you can’t entertain a simple gossip question, then I guess it’s time to call it a night.” You move to get out of the booth, but go over Yeosang’s lap and “accidentally” let your ass rub over his crotch. A short groan escapes his lips and his hands immediately place themselves on your hips, keeping you on him. You turn your head to glance at him, your hand grabbing onto his strong forearm. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

His breathing wavers as he finally locks his eyes to you, specifically your neck. “We…we wondered, if,” You moving yourself farther up on his lap caused him to groan again, his eyes fluttering and his dick hardening underneath you. “I-If you wore black underwear under your black stage crew outfits.”

“Is that all?” You look at the birthday boy, expecting an answer from him too.

He shakes his head, his black hair falling into his eyes. “We thought about whether you've had any experience or not.”

“And if you’ve ever, you know, had two guys at once.” The Ateez member pipes up again, his hands still holding onto you tightly.

“Would you like to find out?” You ask them, feeling the path down the rabbit hole turn this way. Jeongin looks up at you with his mouth slightly agape while you can feel Yeosang’s hot breath at your neck. “Subways are closed but we can take a taxi to my place. No one would ever know.”

You can feel the heat radiating off of Yeosang while he looks at Jeongin. The younger one looks just as surprised before there’s a switch. You can see it in the way his eyes become trained on you after he closes his mouth. He had no telling that his drunk confession would actually lead to this. He was actually betting on you telling him you were going to quit. So this is different. He grabs the empty shot glasses and shoots up from his seat. “I’ll pay the tab, you call the taxi.”

“If you insist.” You smirk, watching him practically jog away from the table. You manage to snake out of Yeosang’s grasp before holding a hand out to him. “Are you going to join us?”

“This is not just the alcohol talking, is it?” He takes your hand and stands up with you. He wants to make sure you don’t regret whatever you three are thinking of doing tonight.

“Listen, if I have to sign two NDAs then I will.” The Ateez member laughs at your statement. “Besides, I like seeing the birthday boy happy and I have been deprived of your hotness for a year. I’m curious as to where the night is going to go.”

You and Yeosang head outside, dressed in your coats and masks while you wait for the taxi to arrive. I.N isn’t too far behind you and you all pile into the car, telling the driver the address to your home. The drive over is tense in the best way. While the ride isn’t too long, the boys are trying hard to contain themselves. Yeosang is bouncing his leg slightly while I.N bites at his thumb. However you aren’t any better, fiddling at the hem of your skirt. You’re sure the driver feels the tension too.

Upon entering the complex, it starts settling in on what’s happening. Two idols, one of which you work for, want to fuck you. At the same time. There’s no going back from that statement. Walking into your apartment, you take off your shoes and coat, putting them where they should be so you don’t trip in the morning. “So did you two have an action plan or did you not get that far?”

“To say we had a plan is going a bit far.”

“But we did have an idea.”

You cock your head to the side, glancing between the two men who now stand there. “Then what are you waiting for?”

I.N gives a quick glance to his partner in crime before walking up to you. Now, standing in front of you, his shyness not holding him back, you can truly grasp how people can say he’s intimidating. But his touch is gentle as he cups your cheek. His face is angled in a way that silently begs for a kiss. You nod and move forward to help close the gap. You easily note how eager he is in the kiss. He wastes no time with little pecks and instead goes for the open mouth kisses. It takes a moment for you two to find a rhythm that works, but once you do, you can tell that Jeongin isn’t inexperienced. His ability to hold you captive with just his mouth is impressive. He tastes like soju, but then again you probably do as well. He makes sure that you become enthralled in him, letting you melt into his touch. His hand does remove from your cheek and instead, is placed on your breast, giving you a light squeeze.

He enjoys the moan you let out and smirks into the kiss. He makes sure to palm your breast again when he asks, “That feels good, huh?”

Your words of agreement falter as he does it again. Your hand wraps behind his neck and into his hair. “So good.”

He makes sure to take special care of your nipple over your shirt. You’re definitely certain he can feel the hard nub poking through your shirt now that your arousal is climbing. You don’t know how much time has passed before you feel another presence behind you. This time, you reel in having Yeosang’s lips on your neck while his hands are firmly on your hips. He holds you in place against him, feeling how hard he is through his tight leather pants. Something leaning more towards a whimper comes out, causing Yeosang to chuckle at you.

“Now who's the eager one?” The blond man mutters, pushing himself against your ass to get another response from you.

“Didn’t think you’d want this so bad.” The kisser pulls away for a moment to focus both hands on both of your breasts, watching your eyebrows scrunch up and mouth become agape.

“I didn’t know you two even thought about this.” You try to retort back, but you know better than to fight two versus one. Your head is spinning with multiple pleasure points.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have kept you waiting for so long.” Yeosang slips one of his hands down your front, underneath your skirt. He cups your pussy and loves the way you inadvertently push back against him. “Our deepest apologies.”

You blink a few times to come to your senses so you don’t blast off to cloud nine then and there. With a huff, you glance at your new lover before making eye contact with the birthday boy. “Keep this up and I might just forgive you.”

Jeongin laughs before capturing your lips in his. This kiss is harsher and more needy, tugging at your bottom lip before he releases again. “We won’t keep you waiting any longer.”

While I.N’s hands are skillfully rolling over your nipples, Yeosang’s fingers rub between your folds, palm brushing across your clit with every stroke. It’s hard not to basically pant against I.N’s lips when you have two sets of hands working up all of your nerves. Soon enough, it’s also two pairs of lips at different pleasure points. Yeosang is focused on your neck while I.N travels down to your collarbone. Their approaches are much different. Yeosang is looking to please, making sure to take his time in sucking on your skin so you can feel him. Jeongin is aiming to elicit a reaction from you, nipping and teasing every which way to get you to squirm. Both are hoping to mark what’s theirs.

With their bombardment, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep yourself upright even with holding onto both of them. Yeosang’s fingers between your legs seem to be also holding you up as his fingers push harsher on your nub, causing you to jolt upwards and consequently pushing your tits into Jeongin’s face. “You’re going to make me cu-um before you even see me undressed, y-you know that?”

“Oh, we can’t have that, can we, Jeongin?” The Ateez member slows down his fingers, eyes shooting up to his counterpart. He can see through hooded eyes that the younger isn’t ready to start slowing down at all.

“Not yet, it’s still much too early in the night.” He comes up from your collarbone and grabs your chin with his hand, pulling your head back towards him to look you in your eyes. He can see just how much you were enjoying their attack. “Wouldn’t you agree, doll?”

You blink away your haziness, trying to come back to your senses. It doesn’t help that the lust you feel is the same lust you see in his eyes. You nod your head. “I’d also prefer to cum on my bed instead of on the floor.”

Both men chuckle at your witty remark. They partially pull away from you but still hold onto you as you lead them to your bedroom. It was nothing extravagant but it was at least clean and the bed was made. You sit them on your bed and decide to give them a little show since they will be taking care of you tonight. First to go will be your top with no bra underneath, so you let your tits fall free. Jeongin’s mouth opens slightly upon actually seeing you bare whereas Yeosang’s jaw clenches in an attempt to restrain himself. With a light smirk, the zipper of your skirt comes undone with a small tug of your fingers and falls to the floor. The only undergarment you had was a black thong that is now rightfully stained by your own arousal. Their reactions seem frozen, taking in all of you that you let them see. “You were right, black is my favorite color after all.”

The youngest’s ears go bright red, feeling like he’s stumbled upon something so brilliant but isn’t for his eyes. The older takes a moment to look at you before his eyes start darting around the room, landing on everything except you as he feels the strain in his pants become unbearable. Seems like the reality of the situation sets in for the men, now sitting in front of you while you present yourselves to them.

“Finally sobering up?” You giggle at their reactions, hooking your fingers into the strings of your thong. “Because I’m still dead serious if you two are.”

“You are?” Yeosang looks at your face, some of his blond hair now falling into his eyes as he takes in your tone.

“You really don’t have to, i-if you don’t want to, you know.” I.N doubles down on it, hands anxiously messing with the comforter beneath him.

“I mean,” You start, pulling down your underwear slightly. “I would like to see if I could make you cum at the same time. And like I told Yeosang, if you need me to sign an NDA I will. In the morning, though, because I don’t know how fucked out I’ll be once we are done.”

That seems to break Jeongin out of his shyness again, feeling more confident in himself than before. He looks at Yeosang with a smirk. “Who are we to deny our little doll a new experience?”

The muscular dancer looks at you and you can see the way the confidence darkens his eyes. “I suppose it’s only right if they are willing to give themselves to us like this.”

With a slight shimmy of your hips, you pull down your underwear the rest of the way before resting your hands on your hips. “Now, should we let the birthday boy choose what hole he wants? As a little gift?”

His eyes light up like a kid in a candy store with the option you presented him. You can see that he’s getting excited at the prospect of using you how he wants. “I want to feel your pussy, so badly.”

“Then happy birthday.” You wink at him, then look sweetly at Yeosang. “Would you prefer oral or anal?”

“Have you ever done anal before?”

“I have a butt plug so it’s not too foreign.”

“You have what?”

“Really?”

“I asked if you’d like to find out.” You shrug lightly, crossing your arms to bolster your breasts. “I’ve taken anal a couple of times, or I can take about six inches in my mouth without gagging. Your choice.”

“Fuck, you get hotter the more we find out about you.” His chest heaves with your suggestions and takes a moment to think through what would be best for him. Seeing the little pout on your lips makes him think about what they’d feel like around him. “Oral, if you’re up for it.”

You giggle at his remark, wiggling your hips slightly as you feel the alcohol exiting your system. Instead of the complicitness the alcohol presets, you start to feel the anticipation in wondering how big Yeosang could be. “There’s a lot to find out about me.”

“What else do we not know about you?” Jeongin asks, positioning himself differently thanks to the strain of his cock in his pants.

“Well, I assume you mean sexually and not as in ‘what’s your favorite animal’,” You walk up to I.N, gently grab the back of the collar of his shirt and pull it over his head. You discard the shirt and let your hands run over his bare shoulders; he shivers at your light touch while his eyes flutter to stare at yours. “But a fun one is I don’t mind experimenting. I’m down to try most things. So if we have fun tonight, maybe we can try other things in the future?”

“If we have fun?” The blond has a playful tone to him. He pops the buttons on his pants watching you caress his friend. “I’m certain the two of us will, so we will be aiming to make sure you will.”

“That’s good to hear. But I’m not letting you spit roast me tonight.” You smirk, seeing the confusion on both of their faces. “I’m not letting the first time I have a threesome be with a cliche sex position that’ll leave my knees sore. I have a better idea than that.”

“Then by all means,” I.N smirks, grabbing ahold of your hips to pull you closer. “Lead the way, doll.”

“Wonderful,” You peck his lips while your hands tangle into his hair. “Yeosang, would you be a dear and strip for me please?” You tilt your head slightly to see him turn bashful at your request. “I need to make sure Innie here is ready to stuff his cock in me while I blow you.”

“F-Fuck okay.” He likes the sound of your voice, all sultry while asking him politely. He immediately gets off the bed to strip, all while watching what you do to the other man.

“Good, now,” You turn your attention back to I.N who is also more than ready to listen to you. “I can’t have you pounding into me while I take as much Sangie in my mouth as I can.” You give him languish kisses to draw out his eagerness. Your hand palms against his crotch, seeing just how hard he is currently. He lets out a cute whimper when you do. “I’ve got to pleasure you both. So work on long, deep strokes, okay?”

“Whatever you say, you’re the boss here.” His voice is deep as he returns another kiss to you. He stands up as he kisses you, going to remove his pants in the process.

“If we are being technical here, you’re the boss.” You chuckle, watching his chest follow you in the sentiment. You help push down his pants and underwear as well. You take a second to see what you’re working with. You’re definitely not disappointed and are excited for what your future position will give you in terms of pleasure. Your hand takes his dick and slowly pumps him. His moan is low, but that combined with the slight twitch you receive tells that he is ready. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

You turn to see if Yeosang has stripped and you are more than pleasantly surprised. He is stripped, but also definitely shy now being naked in front of not one, but two people. His ears are red and he’s staring at the clothes on the floor. You smile and give Jeongin one more kiss before turning your full attention to Yeosang. You instruct the younger man, “Condoms are underneath the bed in a box on the right side. Grab one and wait for me. I want to give Sangie a little more attention before we start.”

Yeosang gives you a half smile, easily melting into your touch when you approach him and hold your arms around his neck. His hands find themselves on the small of your back. “Kinky and considerate?”

“Like you said, we all gotta be having fun.” With your hand on his jaw, you bring his face closer while you repeat the act to him. Yeosang kisses you for real the first time that night, and you wish you would’ve let him sooner. Sure, his lips on your neck were nice, but to feel his lips on yours was better. He was precise in what he did, no matter how much he started to unravel underneath you. His hands immediately went for your ass to pull you to him so you can feel how hard he was. You moan into him, feeling how hot and bothered he was and involuntarily grind against him.

“If this is as close to your cunt I’ll be tonight, then I’m going to take it.” He breathes out while grinding back against you.

“There’s always next time.” You smirk, kissing him again. You let your teeth graze his bottom lip this time. By him gripping your ass tightly, you know that was the right move. “If you want a next time.”

“I already want a next time.”

“Then let’s get on with this time, yeah?” With a nod of his head, you instruct him. “On your back, on the bed. Half way up.”

He listens and crawls onto your bed, watching as you start to follow him. He props himself on his elbows, watching as you bend the top half of your body forward into the bed.

You lean forward enough to be face level with his cock. His tip is already a pretty pink color and he’s girthier than Jeongin, but probably just as long. You peer over your shoulder to I.N, watching him watch you two with his dick in hand. “Don’t be shy now, come and take me.”

You don’t have to tell him twice as he comes behind you, watching you spread your legs for him. He holds your hip with one hand while starting to line himself with your slick entrance. His tip prods your entrance before slowly sliding in with only a little resistance. He lets out the breath he was holding as he starts to push his way into you. It’s going to be a snug fit, but it won’t take long until your body is used to him.

You release a short moan at his cock finally entering you before you place your lips over Yeosang, letting your moan stimulate his tip. His hand is immediately in your hair and you feel the grip he has. He’s not forcing you down on him, not yet anyway. You go down on him to see just how much of him you can actually take. As I.N bottoms out into you, dick thick and stretching you in the most delicious ways, Yeosang hits the back of your throat before you’re able to brush your nose against his pelvis. The three of you moaning in unison tells that your anticipation is well worth it. You just hope that your neighbors can’t hear the three of you now because there’s no telling how loud you all will get.

“Fuck, this is better than I thought it would be.” The birthday boy slowly pulls out while you move up on his friend’s dick. “You feel so good, doll.”

“Their mouth feels just as good.” He breathes out heavily as you push back down on him, making sure to make eye contact with him the whole time. As you continue to slowly suck him, he throws his head back when he feels himself hit the back of your throat. “Shit, so good.”

You try to time your bobbing to Jeongin’s thrusts. He’s listening to you in taking it slow and deep, for now. With your hands on Yeosang’s hips and Jeongin’s hands on yours, you form a deep moving train. You’re not going to lie, it’s hard to focus on one or the other with how full you feel. There’s no need to move your hips backwards into Jeongin as he’s kindly doing that for you with every stroke. And soon, Yeosang starts to guide you on him. He lets you keep the speed but he wants to see just how far you can take him, and you let him. The amount of arousal from your pussy and their cocks, combined with your spit, everything easily becomes a mess.

I.N watches as your ass presses into his hips with every thrust and how slick his dick is every time he pulls out. He smirks at the sight, then looks up to drink in the rest of you. He watches as your head goes up and down on Yeosang, reveling in the pleasure of you giving as well as receiving. The voyeur in him raves watching the two of you enjoy yourselves, and he gets an idea of how to aid with it. With his shit eating grin, he starts to roll his hips into you which brings another moan to your lips, and therefore another groan from Yeosang. “How do they look when I do that, Yeo? Do they seem to like it?”

He lifts his head from the bed to see your eyebrows knitted together, struggling to look at him. The sweat is forming on your forehead, causing your hair to stick together. A light chuckle escapes his lips as he drinks up your face. He glances up to his partner, seeing how proud he is of his accomplishment. “If that moan couldn’t tell you, their face definitely can.”

“Since I can’t see their face,” He pushes into you again with his full weight to press your hips fully against the bed. A higher pitched moan is muffled by Yeosang’s member but it gets the point across. “I’ll just need to keep hearing them.”

You remove your mouth from Yeosang, letting yourself actually get a decent breath in before I.N take this as his one opportunity to smack his hips into yours and get the reaction he wanted. You nails accidentally dig into Yeosang but he doesn’t seem to mind apart from the tighter grip to your hair. “Fuck, Jeongin! Ca-an’t focus when you do that.”

“There’s no need to focus, doll.” Yeosang grabs your chin in his hand, making you look at him. You can see just how much he’s enjoying this too with his temples and chest glistening from his sweat and his eyes hazy and lidded. “Just let me guide you and you can focus on yourself.”

With a smugness of your own, you ready yourself by giving him a long lick on the underside of his dick. He swallows deeply at your action before you say, “I’ve got to have my own fun.”

“Your own fu- shit, oh fuck me!” He almost regrets teasing you like that as you take him fully and quickly. He has to bite his lips and still his hips. He tries so hard not to thrust up into your mouth as you swallow him down like a champion. Your warm mouth is already starting to make him dribble pre-cum against your lips, so he can only imagine what your pussy would do. It almost makes him whimper at the thought. He tries to take matters into his own hands by eliciting the help from the other partner. “I think they want you to go faster, In-ah.”

“Oh do they?” When he does speed up, your drawn out moan lets him know he’s at a good pace and rhythm. A smirk comes to his face when he hears the break in your moan every time your hips meet his. He can see Yeosang starting to take control of your head movements now too. He feels pride in seeing you relinquish your pleasure to the two of them fully. “I guess you were right.”

Being in this position, it’s hard to not fall into their trap of letting them use you how they want. After all, once you give them rights to do what they wish, both of them start moaning like crazy. Yeosang has more of a gritty grunt that threatens into growling territory. You can only describe it as borderline animalistic. The only thing that keeps him from crossing that line is when you pay special attention to his tip when he brings you back up and there’s a short moment where the pitch increases towards a whine. That combined with his curses really creates a dominating sound.

Jeongin draws out his moans. They’re breathy and they’re loud, as if he’s trying to create a symphony with them. They’re pretty, that’s for sure, and he’s making sure you hear just how good you feel around him. When you squeeze your walls around him, that’s where you get the swears and praises that almost aren’t real words. He practically cuts himself off with more moans. You are going to be very surprised if he doesn’t give you a noise complaint in the morning from your landlord. Then again, all three of you can be at fault because you aren’t necessarily quiet either.

Though your sounds are muffled by a cock most of the time, there are moments where you pop off to breathe and one or two or three escape your lips. But you can’t really help it. Even when you jump right back onto the dancer, you aren’t fully quiet which causes Yeosang to moan out and the cycle continues.

“Fuck, I-I’m going to cum, shit.” Yeosang tells you two, his hips stuttering on the bed. He can barely contain himself as you hollow out your cheeks to get as much friction as possible. He had been leaking precum for a while, but didn’t want the night to end so soon.

“Me too, you feel too good, doll.” Jeongin smiles, his chest heaving and sweaty. “Maybe next time we can switch roles?”

“That would be fun, that way you can feel my cock stretch you out, huh?”

“And I don’t mind if you’re rougher.”

You look up at Yeosang, out of breath and ready to hear what he sounds like when he orgasms. Moving off of him for a second so you can prepare yourself, you let your hand stroke him before you say, “Get prepared to cum, Sangie. I’m not a spitter.”

Your mouth was latched to him like a leech, unwavering in sucking him dry. He felt what he can only akin to electricity jolting through him and pushing his hips up into your mouth. You start to lightly squeeze his balls, then roll them between your thumb and fingers to try and give him as much pleasure as possible. He threw his head back into the mattress, unable to focus on anything besides your mouth. When your tongue started to swirl around his tip, he knew he was a goner. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, ah fuck!” That was his mantra as he felt his orgasm bubble up and over and spill into your mouth. Once he started cumming, he looked at you to see your reaction and he swore he started cumming more as your hazy and fucked out eyes bore into his. He was definitely pumping so much of his cum into your mouth, he didn’t know if you could hold all of it. But sure enough once you knew he was done, you slid off of him while remaining eye contact and swallowed his whole load. You showed your sticky translucent white tongue to him as proof. “Holy fuck.”

You turned your head to Jeongin, who had slowed his pace so you can focus on the task at hand, and commanded, “Fuck me, Innie, hard.”

“With pleasure.” Once you turned your head back, he wasted no time in slamming into you to get him to his own prolonged orgasm. He could’ve sworn you were some kind of sex deity as you knew what buttons to press for Yeosang, and now him. Your ass bounced back to him with a loud slap every time and now that you weren’t gagged, he could hear just how loud you could be. When he would roll his hips into yours, you made sure you had a grip on his dick that made the friction so much more intense. This drove him crazy as he felt the burn of his own orgasm impending. He was getting sloppy with his thrusts which wasn’t hard given how much of your arousal had coated him at his point. You hadn’t even cum yet and you were so wet, it made his head spin. Soon, his moans reached the highest pitch of that night as he finally came inside the condom. His hips slowed down but still pushed you further into the bed. He heard your moans start to falter too, so he took matters into his own hands as his seed kept spilling. He reached between your hips and the bed, not allowing you to ride the edge of the mattress and instead rubbing your clit. “It’s your turn, doll.”

“Fuck me, ah!” You squealed, your body involuntarily contracting itself. Feeling so full with I.N inside you, his fingers roughly circling your clit, you couldn’t help but hold onto Yeosang’s thighs for dear life as you felt the burn of your orgasm approach to your core. While getting fucked in two holes, your orgasm was always two steps away and now its knocking on your door. You feel the coil release and the flood of your orgasm washes over you. You string out some more curses and moans and your body convulses with the power of your orgasm. Once Jeongin starts slowing down and starts milking your cum out of you, you can’t help but hum as your body takes a while to descend from your high.

The air around your three is hot and heavy from your cum, sweat, and panting. Trying to blink away the haze, Jeongin realizes he’s still inside of you. He gently pulls out of you and gently rubs your shoulders when you groan in protest. Yeosang gently scratches your scalp as the other man goes to find your bathroom to throw the condom away in. He watches you regain your breath and look up at him. He notices that while your eyes are still glazed, the lust and excitement is gone and is replaced by what he believes is fondness and content. “You doing okay?”

You nod lightly, starting to prop yourself up on your elbows. “I didn’t realize you two would have it in you.”

His chuckle is back to being bashful, the same chuckle that you adore. “We are full of surprises.”

“I can see that.” You wipe off your chin, covered in cum and drool at this point and look at the time on the clock. “Damn, didn’t realize it had gotten that late.” You hear footsteps enter your bedroom and see the birthday boy come back in, then watch him open your dresser drawer. “You know, usually, men take the panties that their lover wore as a trophy, not the one from their drawer.”

“I’m trying to be nice here.” He grows flustered at your comment, handing you a comfortable pair of underwear while grabbing his and Yeosang’s from off of the floor to put back on.

“I’m just teasing you.” You smile at him, grateful that he’s kind enough to think of you first in that way. You’re glad he can go back to the same, shy boy that you grew to form some kind of a relationship with.

“We can help you wash the sheets and everything tomorrow if you’d like.” Yeosang offered, pulling his briefs back up.

“If you don’t mind that we stay the night.” Jeongin sits at the edge of the bed, anticipating your answer.

“We’ll shower first and then wash the sheets in the morning.” You smile at them, watching their faces turn softer. “After breakfast.”

“I’ll help make it, Wooyoung has taught me some things.”

“But we can sleep in a little, right?”

You laugh and pull back the covers, ushering the boys to come join you. “Yes, but we have to go to sleep first. I’m fucking exhausted.”

Both of the boys smile and climb in on either side of you, nestling themselves into your sides for post-sex cuddles. While you are content sleeping on your back, eyes easily drooping closed from the events of tonight, the boys choose their positions with I.N resting his face in the crook of your neck and Yeosang’s head on your chest. Yeosang takes a look at your face, watching you fall asleep easily, then looks up at Jeongin. Their eyes meet, and suddenly there’s a wave of fulfillment that the two share. That feeling lulls them to sleep, holding onto you dearly.

In the morning, you’re awoken to the light coming in between your blackout curtains. With a groan, you stretch lightly and open your eyes to see that Jeongin is on his back, already awake and scrolling on his phone. You smile lightly and reach up to grab his bicep before whispering, “Good morning.”

His head turns to you with his big toothy grin, his free hand reaching up to run his fingers through your hair. “Good morning, how do you feel?”

“Pretty good, I haven’t moved much to test how sore I am.” You do try to move a little but are stopped by Yeosang who has a strong grip on your waist. He stirs a little at your movement, but not enough to wake up. “How do you feel? After last night?”

“Honestly, it was probably the best birthday gift I could have received.” He looks at you genuinely, his chocolate eyes warm when meeting yours. “I never thought I would ever have the courage to do it.”

“Thankfully we were all in agreement of what we wanted.” You rub your eyes lightly, trying to rub the sleep from them. “It was a good time, for sure.”

“Well, good,” He smiles lightly before his smile turns into a yawn. “I would’ve slept longer, but your phone buzzing woke me up.”

“Can you hand it to me?” You ask, then watch him grab your phone from the nightstand. “Hopefully it’s not the company asking me to come in.” You unlock your phone to see a few notifications, one of which is from Jeongin himself. You click on your messages and see he sent you a text that just said “Non_Disclosure_Agreement lol”. You hit his chest lightly and say, “You fucking prick.”

He laughs at you, knowing that would think it’s funny. “You said you would sign an NDA.”

“Do I have to make them sign an NDA too?” Yeosang rouses from his sleep, only having caught part of the context in his half asleep state.

“Unless we want to continue this little arrangement?” You ask them, wondering if last night was just a one time thing or if they want more. “I wouldn’t mind doing this again.”

“I think Yeosang and I make a pretty good team.” The youngest looks at the other idol, a small smile on his face.

Yeosang buries his face in your neck, looking over at his partner in crime. “I can agree to that. I think we should do this again. Soon.”

“Soon, huh?” You chuckle, running your hands through both of their hair soothingly. “I guess we will have to see about that.”

“But I think we need to ask some more questions first.”

“Like what?”

“Like what’s your favorite animal?”

You can’t help but smile at them both, relishing in the way they’re both looking at you. Maybe this might become more than just an NDA situationship.

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2amtechnicolor · 2 years ago

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We Need To Talk About Mahiru

Mahiru's second Trial is out and oh my god she just jumped up on my faves list. I love analyzing the MVs from different perspectives so I thought I'd give my 2 cents on Mahiru's character.

My vote: INNOCENT

The first thing I really feel the need to bring up is that people tend to ignore that Mahiru is actually very intelligent. There's multiple kinds of intelligence, and while she might not be "traditionally" smart in the linguistic sense, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She's a master of empathy and mood making and is an incredibly charming talker to the point you don't realize she's completely controlling the conversation. That being said, I genuinely don't think she uses her intelligence for malicious gains.

One of the theories going around with her first MV was that she was overbearing to the point of being abusive, while being oblivious to her own toxicity. Now after rereading and rewatching, I'm inclined to disagree. Her love may be seen as overbearing to some but we have not seen any explicit bad behavior towards her boyfriend. (Contrast with someone like Muu, who was revealed to have bullied as much as she was bullied herself). In my unpopular opinion, I genuinely think Mahiru was in a "healthy" relationship, at least on the surface.

[TW for discussions of death, murder, and fictional depictions of suicide]

[Side Note: One of the sticking points people have while saying "Mahiru was toxic" is that "Mahiru's relationship only lasted 16 days" which is blatantly not true when you check the translations for MV1. Day 1 takes place during college finals (mid-March-ish in JPN), Day 7 explicitly takes place in the summer, and Day 15 is New Year's Day (January). Mahiru's affection towards her boyfriend lasted almost a year, and they dated for around 6 months-ish during that. The "16 Day Memorial" isn't about a period of 16 days, it's about 16 days over the course of their relationship where she was explicitly making moves towards her boyfriend.]

I need you to take a real hard look at how Mahiru talks about "love" and "being in love." More specifically, when she talks about the concept of "love," she often brings up the action of "loving/showing love" in her explanation. Never once have I heard her say "My boyfriend loved me." or "This is what my boyfriend did for me." The focus is all on her actions towards the boyfriend. And I genuinely think she was a sweet girlfriend! She loved trying his hobbies and cooking his favorite foods and going to his favorite spots. She was sweet, and kind, and playful, and maybe just a bit clingy. But she was never jealous or possessive.

Es: I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!

She explicitly states that her crime was not based off of negative feelings towards her boyfriend, but she still takes responsibility for what happened. Compare that to Fuuta, who, despite his own feelings of guilt, continually verbally denied that he had anything to do with his victim's death. Mahiru not only takes explicit responsibility, but also pins her "love" as his cause of death, to the point where if she was voted guilty, she would never try to love anyone again. Without "loving" anyone, she has no reason to live.

"To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe."

It's interesting the way she compares basic needs to "the act of loving". Not the concept of "love" itself, but the act of showing someone love. If she is not allowed to show someone love, to her it's like suffocating, like dying of thirst, or maybe...dying of starvation?

Mahiru in her second MV may be dirty and barefoot with torn clothes, but the one thing she is not is starving. You could argue that "perhaps it doesn't show," but when compared to her boyfriend...

She's incredibly healthy.

And of course she's healthy! Her lovely boyfriend's been feeding her those bites of cake! So is the cake "love" then? But if the cake is love, why is her boyfriend, the one whose being "smothered," the one starving?

Feeding the cake doesn't represent "love." Feeding the cake also doesn't represent "the act of loving." Feeding the cake represents the boyfriend letting Mahiru "love" him. Does that make sense?

The boyfriend lets himself be vulnerable, he feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru for her to "love." But yet, he himself is starving.

...Have you even noticed Mahiru hates talking about herself?

It's evident from her first interrogation. Es can barely get two words in before Mahiru interrupts them to ask them questions about themselves or to offer her own advice to problems she thinks Es may be having.

Es: Oh… yeah. Uh… I apologise for that.

Mahiru: Did you zone out just then? This job must be pretty difficult, so you might be mentally burned out from work. Herbal tea’s good for that, you know? Oh! Like ginkgo tea—they say it helps improve brain function.

Es: Oh, is that so? I’ll try a bit then… I mean, no! Enough about me.

Compared to one of the few times Es gets a question in:

Es: I don’t completely understand what you’re saying, but… Being in love and loving someone—are they really that important?

Mahiru: They are.

Es: Hm.

Mahiru: They are… More so than anything else.

When reflected back to her, her answered become short and vague. Her voice grows soft and shy. She avoids questions, especially questions about difficult topics, not because she doesn't understand the gravity of them (like Haruka) but because she does. Like I said at the top, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She was beaten nearly to death because Kotoko decided to be Es's "fang", and yet she still empathizes with them. She still makes a strong attempt to see their point of view, and even to encourage Es to keep working hard. Compared to the other attacked prisoner we've seen, Fuuta, who blames and grovels for forgiveness, these responses are like night and day.

But what do we know about Mahiru, really?

She's 22

She's a university student

She likes romantic novels, comic, and dramas

She loves love. [But she's not obsessed with being loved. Haruka is obsessed with being loved, Haruka wants to be loved and taken care of, Haruka killed out of jealousy and for attention because he didn't feel loved enough. We never get that from Mahiru.]

Everything else we know about Mahiru? Is for other people.

Her favorite hobbies? Whatever her partner is doing.

Her fashion sense? Whatever will catch her partner's eye.

Her favorite food? Well, as long her partner cooks it, anything's her favorite!

The only time we ever get a sense of her and her boyfriend possibly disagreeing on something is Day 14 in MV1. Mahiru wants to see a French film and begs her boyfriend to take her. This is odd, because just a few scenes ago, she was bragging about how their tastes in films perfectly line up. If their tastes are the same, why would she have to beg him to take her to see this one?

Mahiru, like Yuno, is hiding behind a facade. But unlike Yuno, Mahiru doesn't have a strong core underneath her mirroring. Yuno can drop her "nice girl" act and she still has strong opinions and feelings and acts accordingly. Mahiru, when you try to go behind her mask, clams up, redirects, searches for a way out.

So. Back to cake.

The boyfriend feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru. He makes himself vulnerable, he lets her in, lets her care for him, lets her "love" him.

But Mahiru? She never feeds him until the very end, and even then, her "cake" isn't anything edible.

She's not stupid. She knows she can't give him what he really wants: any sort of vulnerability.

Their relationship is one-sided, but not because Mahiru is toxic or the boyfriend is apathetic. Their relationship is one sided because that's how Mahiru wants it to be. She wants to be the perfect girlfriend, because, if we're being honest, Mahiru doesn't like herself very much.

Why else would she hate talking about herself? She clearly loves to chat.

She puts her all into everything...as long as it's for someone besides her.

She will outright ignore her own pain and suffering, her own emotions, because she doesn't want to make anyone else upset.

Mahiru: Sorry… for making you worry. I’m fine! It doesn’t hurt at all.

Es: It’s a horrible injury. There’s no way it doesn’t hurt.

Mahiru: It doesn’t!

So why did her boyfriend die?

Mahiru's very good at hiding her emotions. If she slipped up and her boyfriend realized and noticed how she refused to love herself, it could cause friction in their otherwise perfect relationship.

Maybe Mahiru was the one who wanted to die in the woods, and her boyfriend, starved for any sort of real connection to her, found her at the last moment? Maybe her mental health dragged his down with her.

Mahiru's incredibly complex and tragic and endlessly relatable. She only loves too much because she can't love herself. If she's truly unforgivable, and she keeps her promise to stay alone...what's stopping her from killing the only thing she hates most?

#milgram #mahiru shiina #this is how to be in love with you #character analysis #i love you #daisuki #meta #deco*27 #milgram project #mahiru innocent #i log into the milgram fandom #i post a 1.5k word essay #i leave for another 5 months #lux talks

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kanmom51 · 1 year ago

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Seven JK MV a little sum up

cr./creators of media used in this post.

Who would have thought I'd be sitting here smiling while admitting just how wrong I was with my short analysis of the Seven teaser.

LMAO.

I did admit I was bullshitting though. You gotta give me that.

But man, was I wrong.

Yellow rose, glasses, wtf, chandelier on the old couple's table. Wth was I thinking of?

Let's sum up for a second what we had in the MV:

Doing laundry

check.

Making up in the rain - check.

Same ring and necklace during the rain scene - check .

During other scenes we have just the regular special necklace - check.

Necklace on in opening scene and train scene (hard to see but it's there), laundry scene, stretcher scene, high in the sky scene.

Basically, other then when he's dead, Monday thru Sunday he's got his special necklace on.

Titanic reference...

youtube

check.

Also, placement of hands a choice.

And the before and after are not to be ignored either.

JM inspired/mirroring photo shoot check.

Dance challenge outfit - muddy jeans, shirt with print on back that looks like butterfly wings (sue me), special necklace.

Dance challenge backup dancers - male. Period.

One of them Brian Puspos, who happens to be the choreographer of Serendipity, gulp.

Dance choreo also mirrored at points. Backup dancers at the beginning look like JM's serendipity choreo and JK also has moves like JM's from LC.

Boy in luv indeed.

Might come back with more. Still finding something new every time I watch the MV. And I'm watching it A LOT.

Also, GMA starting shortly, can't wait for whatever JK and JM have install for us.

#Jungkook #JK #JK Seven #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jimin #JM

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jaehunnyy · 1 year ago

Text

Take a chance on me

Genre: a bit of action, crack, fluff, strangers-to-lovers

Word count: 1.4k

Pairing: Seonghwa x gn!reader, Mingi x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of criminals and illegal stuff, a fight takes place in a bar—more of a shooting (highkey inspired by bouncy mv), mentions of a drink, mentions of bullets, guns, mentions of a wound and blood, pet names, possible grammar mistakes

Taglist: @shakalakaboomboo, @pocketjoong-reads, @nebulousbrainsoup, @justhere4kpop, @bluehwale, @bluisheye93, @ssaboala, @i-luvsang, @ad0rechuu

Networks: @cromernet 🤍

You sighed as another old man exited the bar you were working at, finally getting a break. The loud screams coming from the group of people playing billiards were almost unbearable for your ears, so you grabbed a coffee and went somewhere behind the building, a beautiful motorcycle catching your attention as it was parked somewhere close to you. You absolutely loved motorcycles, something you took after your dad; so, without a second thought, you approached it, examining the details. It was black and shiny, meaning that its owner was actually taking good care of it. As you wanted to touch it slightly, a deep voice from behind you interrupted your intentions, making you flinch.

"Do you want to steal it?"

His confidence was visible—from the way he acted to the way he was dressed; jewelry and accessories cladding his neck and hands, the leather jacket making him look like your typical biker.

"I—no, no! I just—"

He smirked at your state, getting one step closer to you.

"If I see a single scratch on it, I'll make you pay for it. Do you think you have the money?"

You couldn't stand this guy already, but you tried to understand him—maybe you would have done the same if you had your own.

"I just want to buy one myself, and yours seemed nice so… I'm sorry." you said, looking down as you couldn't think about spending the money you tried so hard to keep for something like this.

His look softened a bit at your words. He might not be known as the best guy around town, yet he couldn't help but remember where he came from and how much help he needed to be able to purchase his precious gem.

"I was joking, flower. Would you like me to take you home? I can explain more on the way." he smiled, words slipping from his mouth as if calling you that was something usual for him, and for the first time that afternoon, you found him cute.

It wasn't that the idea didn't appeal to you—but your shift was nowhere near completed, and you didn't quite want to trust the stranger that fast.

"I work till midnight." you said nonchalantly, drawing the biker in even more.

He pouts playfully, before taking his phone out of his pocket and handing it to you.

"Here, put your number," he encouraged, unlocking it, "I'll be back for you."

You hesitantly took it, typing your number as a voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

"Seonghwa, it's time, let's go." a quite long-haired guy said, signaling with a move of his head that they should leave.

"I'll be back." Seonghwa smiled and took his phone as your steps began to take you inside the bar again.

He was too late when he realized that you didn't get to put your name in his phone, yet he decided to just call you Flower. You watched everything from the window and waved to him when he smiled in your direction before their bikes let out a loud groan, and they were gone.

It was already dark outside before you were supposed to catch your last break for the day. It was way more peaceful than the other days, which made you wonder if something happened; though you couldn't complain about it, you enjoyed the silence. You were drying some of the glasses you just washed, your eyes darting to the door right when it opened for the nth time that day—and for some reason, it felt different this time. A tall guy with an intimidating, yet mysterious posture stepped inside, leather hat on, thus you couldn't see his face. You noticed him throwing a few balls from the billiard table with his hand, taking your eyes off of him as you feared he was looking for fights. Of course, you could call Seonghwa, but you didn't want to put him in danger—and you didn't even know if he would come.

"Whiskey on the rocks, please." he said in a low, deep voice, head facing the floor.

You turned around, your back facing him, as you wanted to take the bottle—though the poster in front of you grabbed your attention. WANTED was written just above the culprit's face, making you gasp in shock as you turned back to the guy, who was now facing you. You kept looking at the poster, then back at him. He looked at you more intensely, and you looked back at the poster. He was the wanted one. You opened your mouth to say something, but he put a finger on his own lips, signaling you to shut up. You swallowed your words, nodding that he is safe, before gathering the courage to finally say something.

"Dude… they did you dirty with that nose." you said, a chuckle escaping your lips as you compared the man in front of you to the poor drawing behind you.

"I know, right?" he said, laughing a bit too—until he saw your expression changing into a serious one. "Please don't say anything, don't tell them you've seen me!"

"Don't worry. It's not like this bar is not frequented by other criminals and more anyway."

"Thank you! That's such a relief, I'm tired of running away all the time. And I'm Mingi, by the way."

You smiled softly, finally handing him the glass he ordered and telling him your name. The tension could be cut with a knife—there was definitely some sort of attraction between the two of you, yet you both enjoyed the silence of it and the way you could understand each other with just some gestures; well, that was until the door opened, three guys with guns on full display looking at Mingi with a smirk; that didn't look good.

"B-behind you…" you stuttered, trying to alert him somehow, yet all you could see coming from him was the same, dirty smirk that was stretching the mysterious guys' mouths.

"Hold tight, doll."

He said, jumping from his chair and taking a rifle out of its holder. You gasped at the sight, yet a smile from him silenced you. He started to shoot around him, aiming for the guys, bullets flying all over the floor as you covered your ears, not standing the loud sounds.

"Shhh, I'm sorry. Here, stay here." he said, guiding you under the bar with one hand as the other kept on shooting at the enemies who kept getting inside, outnumbering him.

He got up again and got another gun, this time a revolver, his moves fast enough to get rid of the bad guys in a short time. You were still shocked, breath hitching in your throat as he looked like nothing happened, another smile taking over his face.

"So freaking persistent," he sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance, before his attention went towards you: "Are you okay, doll?" he asked, fingers stroking your hair softly.

You nodded, looking at him as he searched for any scar on your beautiful skin. You grabbed his waist softly, telling him that you were fine. Suddenly, you noticed something wet on your hand—it was blood.

"M-Mingi, you're hurt…"

He looked a bit down, just to notice his drenched shirt—but he only smiled.

"It's okay, love. It has happened before."

You were too stunned to speak. No words could leave your mouth as you saw how relaxed he was, while you felt like passing out on the spot.

"Can you help me with a med kit?"

You stood up and ran to search for it, while he was just looking at you in awe—he truly found you cute. Maybe love at first sight was really a thing, and he was witnessing it right now.

"Here… tell me how I can help."

He raised his shirt softly, revealing a wound, making you gasp—again.

"It's okay, lovely. Just help me with the band-aids, so I can go home and treat it properly."

"Will you be okay…?"

He nodded, kissing your cheek softly before he stood up like nothing happened.

"Thank you, doll, for everything. See you again."

You were shocked. As you were laying on the ground like a teenager in love, you remembered that you still had to wait for Seonghwa. The events drained your energy, and you were already tired, so you took some time to think if waiting for him was worth it or if you could just go home.

What are you gonna do?

Wait for Seonghwa Go home

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arcadekitten · 1 year ago

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With the new year on the horizon and 10 completed games under my belt, I thought it might be fun to go through some projects that didn't make the cut and I ended up shelving for one reason or another! (It's only like, 2 of 'em but still)

The first is a game about Theodore and Zapara. While Tricks N Treats was my first finished + published RPGmaker game, I originally started testing things out with RPGM shortly after Cemetery Mary's release. The following game was meant to take place in the CM universe.

It was my first time using RPGMaker & it shows. It was also being made in VXAce, hence why proportions are so different from all my current projects. VXace uses 32x32 tiles whereas MV + above use 48x48. Trying to work within these limitations was a bit tricky for me

The (gif) footage you see above is all that exists of the game now(I didn't even screen record LOL). Back when my old laptop kicked it the files for this game went with it and I never cared to back them up. I don't consider it a hard loss though as by that point I had already moved on to bigger more polished projects and I didn't see myself returning to it any time soon(or at all).

The plot of the game was that Theo woke up in the night to hear Zapara leaving their apartment. When he goes to look for and finds her, she seems to want to avoid going back to the apartment for reasons she won't share. By the end of the game she confesses that she had a really realistic nightmare and she's scared if she goes back it will come true. Theo reassures her that he would never let her nightmare happen in reality, and so the two go back together. In the morning, we see Crowven texting them. They're making plans to go out to a club, when Crowven asks if his cousin can come along--tying it into CM.

I think if I made this game, it would've been cute, and maybe I'll even do something with the premise for a larger game, but I don't see myself trying to start this as a solo project again.

The next game that was shelved from when I was learning Unity & Adventure Creator. Patrons had seen previews it! I started this game as a tool to help me learn the programs, and it got shelved when I felt it was no longer teaching me but instead adding weight to my back.

Unlike the previous game, this is a game I COULD see myself starting again--probably using the same method I'm using for WISHMAKER in RPGM. This game is called "Dreary Elaine", and it's a bit interesting!

(ignore the reference PNG of Elaine here HAHA) This game, like WISHMAKER, is a point-and-click adventure game, where you play as the titular Elaine as she delivers party invitations to her neighbors.

The thing that makes Dreary Elaine interesting is that it is actually an offshoot of my other work! Mary Anta is a character that exists in the fictional world of Noisrev. Dreary Elaine is Mary's favorite childhood book series. A fictional world within a fictional world!

As I said above, this is a game that has the potential to come back one day--I'm just not currently sure when. But exploring the Elaine-verse is something that always appeals to me and who knows! Maybe I'll represent it more in my work going forward.

I think that's all for now? I hope it was fun to read through and I'm excited to have more (finished) games and art for you soon! ❤️

#cemetery mary #?#theo #theodore #zapara #elaine #arcadekitten #arcadekitt3n #art #my art #cain

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slytherinshua · 2 years ago

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FAIRYTALES ARENT REAL

genre. brief fluff. angst. prince au. warnings. angst. lack of communication maybe? pairing. prince!joshua x fem!reader. wc. 1.8k. a/n mostly based on this look from the dream mv. credits to @shuatonin for the gif (it's gorgeous), also this turned out a lot longer than i thought lol.

“You’ll ask me to dance at the ball tomorrow, right?” You said happily, smelling one of the fragrant roses in the palace garden. Joshua tailed behind you, nerves building up in the pit of his stomach the longer he spent with you, but fortunately, you didn’t seem to notice.

“Of course.” He smiled and you turned around to look at him. He could only see pure love and joy in your face, and it made him all the more guilty.

He shouldn’t have even let this go on for this long and given you false hope. There was just no way a prince like him could end up with someone like you. You weren’t poor, but you were of the middle class, high enough to maybe marry a palace official or guard, but certainly not a member of the royal family. No one would allow it.

Joshua was glad that you didn’t seem to catch onto his anxiousness, nor did you know that he was partially lying to try to spare your heartbreak. Though, maybe that was a bad thing, Joshua thought. Maybe it would be better to break it to you now so you would at least hear it from him instead of his actions. He furrowed his eyebrows, thinking of possible ways the upcoming ball could go and what the best thing to do was.

He pictured you walking through the doors with your gorgeous smile, adorning an elegant ball gown and looking more radiant than ever. He saw himself walking towards you, masquerade mask on just for show. It wouldn’t do much, as everyone there would already know who he was. Who could miss the crown prince anywhere? He would take your hand and lead you to the centre of the room, the music would play, and he would start dancing with you with everyone watching. They would watch as he ended the dance with a dip and then kissed you. Then there would be cheers from the crowd and aww’s as everyone saw how good you looked by his side. He would look up to the throne and see his father smile as well, giving him an affirmative nod.

But, no. That was all laughably unrealistic. Only in fairytales would something like that happen. Joshua sighed. If only his dreamlike sequence of the ball could become reality. He desperately wanted that, more than anything else in the world. But he wasn’t naive enough to think it was an actual possibility. He wasn’t being pessimistic, he was just being sensible, he told himself.

“-Shua?”

“Huh?” He shook off his thoughts and looked up again, putting on a smile as best he could. You only called him by that nickname when you really wanted to get his attention. He hadn’t ever told you, but he felt as if he fell in love with you all over again whenever you said it.

“You were really stuck in your thoughts just then, weren’t you? I called you like 5 times.” You smiled amusingly, finding him to be the cutest in the world, especially when his face was scrunched up in thought, lips pouting slightly as if they were begging to be kissed.

“Yeah, I guess I was.” Joshua fiddled with his fingers, a nervous habit that he had developed since he was little.

“What were you thinking about?”

There it was. The question that made Joshua’s heart drop. He couldn’t possibly tell you. He wasn’t strong enough to watch your hopes be crushed. He didn’t want to tell you that you couldn’t be with him, that he couldn’t have you no matter how hard he wished he could. He wasn’t ready.

Joshua glanced through an opening in the hedge, feeling relieved as he spotted some guards patrolling the gardens on the other side. He grabbed your hand and quickly ducked behind another hedge. You knew the drill by now and didn’t question it. Joshua hoped that your question would also be left forgotten as you both waited in silence for the guards to pass.

Joshua peeked out from behind the hedge, pretending to spy on where the guards were at, even though they weren’t going to come close to where you and Joshua were hiding.

“Were they coming this way?” You asked in a whisper, hand still holding Joshua’s tightly.

He nodded, peering over the hedge one more time. “They’re gone now.” He lied, standing up cautiously. You stood up as well, sighing and picking at one of the details of your sundress.

“I should probably go.” You said. You always knew you had to leave if the guards were ever nearby.

As you said those words, Joshua felt as if a piece of him died. Tomorrow was the ball, which meant that this was the last time he would see you. At least, it was the last time he would see you with the freedom to express how much he loved you. As soon as you left his sight, that freedom would leave with you and never come back to him.

He quickly hugged you to his chest, holding you tightly in his arms. You were confused, but hugged him back, pressing your cheek against his chest and feeling his heartbeat, which was beating at a rapid pace.

“Y/n.” Joshua started, tone serious which was unusual for him.

“Hm?” You glanced over his face, taking note of his watery eyes and the creases on his forehead from stress. You had no idea why he was so anxious all of a sudden, but you could pick up on it easily.

“Nevermind, it’s nothing.” He mumbled, smiling again. Then he leant down and kissed you, soft plush lips mingling with your own. “You should go now.” He told you, sighing. You nodded and broke the hug first, kissing him quickly on the cheek again before finally stepping back. You walked backwards to look at him for as long as you could, waving and smiling widely.

As soon as you were out of sight, Joshua let the first tears slip out. He stumbled, eyesight blurring from the water, and eventually sat on the ground, back resting against one of the hedges. He sat there until the sun went down to rest and the moon rose only to be blanketed by clouds. Still, a single ray shone beside him as if it was shielding him from his loneliness.

It was an hour until the ball, and the palace was bustling with people. Servants were running around getting the final touches ready, officials were patrolling the outside and Joshua was in the very centre of it all. He had to direct everyone along with the help of Seungkwan, his party planner.

“How close are we to being done?”

“About 94% done, your highness.” Seungkwan replied after looking over his list.

“Okay, good. You think you can handle it from here without me?”

“Yes, your highness.”

“You don’t have to keep calling me that, Seungkwan. We’re friends.” Joshua urged. Seungkwan nodded as Joshua walked off to his seat.

He sat on his throne, feeling more sick the longer it went on. He remembered his father’s words to single out the princess from the neighbouring kingdom and dance with her at this ball. If all went well, a marriage proposal would be on its way, and the two kingdoms would become stronger by marrying their heirs.

He sat quietly until guests began to shuffle into the ballroom, big poofy dresses and shimmering suits filling up the large area rather quickly. Joshua retreated to one of the corners, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of you before he broke your heart.

And he spotted you almost immediately, in an elegant black gown. His breath was caught in his throat and he was thankful for the mask he was wearing concealing the tears that would inevitably fall again. His heart broke for the third time in the last 24 hours as he saw your gorgeous smile and eyes searching the room, searching for him.

He stepped into a deserted room and wiped his eyes, pulling himself together. No one could know that the prince wasn’t in love with his future bride. He walked back up to the top of the room where the thrones were, standing by his father’s right hand and breathing steadily, emotions going numb.

You were approached by a surprising number of people, all commenting on how pretty you looked. You thanked each one of them whole-heartedly. An especially pretty lady came up to you, smiling friendly and striking conversation. As you examined her face, you were sure she was at least 10 times prettier than you were.

“Your dress is stunning, what dressmaker made it?”

“Langston.” You replied eagerly, “Who did yours? You look absolutely beautiful in it.” You said in awe of the golden gown she wore, hugging her figure perfectly and complementing her skin tone.

“Keswick from the neighbouring kingdom. I’m from there, you see.” She smiled sweetly.

“Oh! I see. I hope you enjoy your visit here.”

You waited next to the lady, talking with her as you waited for the dance to begin. You learned her name was Viola, and that she was a princess from the closest kingdom. No wonder she was so pretty.

Soon, the entry music came to a close, and all the guests turned their attention to the front of the room, eyes landing on the king, and next to him, the crown prince.

The king made a short speech, and then Joshua said a few words before stepping down into the crowd to choose his dance partner and also the future princess. You exhaled, preparing to dance in front of so many people. It was anxiety-inducing to say the least, but you were up for the task.

You watched him walk towards you, mannerisms much more serious and princelike than when he was ever alone with you. He stopped in front of you, and with a smile held out a hand.

“May I have this dance?” Those beautiful, fairytale words. The words that broke your heart.

In the flash of an eye, Viola was the one up there in the centre of the room, not you. Viola was the one waltzing to harmonious music with your prince, not you. And Viola was the one who he so gracefully dipped, pressing a kiss to her lips soon after, cheers and clapping following.

You couldn’t do a single thing but stand there and fake a smile that wouldn’t last for long, as it was soon replaced by tears. But not even half of your pain was for you. If this is how much you were hurt by it, you were sure Joshua was even more hurt, and he had been for a while you could only guess.

You should have known fairytales were too good to be true.

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-bluehair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast

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katnisspeetaprim · 2 years ago

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J-Hope On The Street

Jung Hoseok/Actress!Reader

Summary: Hobi convinces you to do the J-Hope on the street challenge with him... (can be read as a stand alone or as the WYF couple)

Warnings: Fluff, female reader implied.

Word Count: 779 M.list

Hobi had recently released his newest single, J-Hope On The Street, and you couldn’t be more proud! You weren’t yet around when his Hope World album was in the works, but you were there for J-Hope in the box, and you saw first hand how much of a perfectionist he is. How every little detail had to be perfect, and this was no exception.

Ever since the song and MV had dropped, he’d received a massive amount of love and support from friends and fans alike. You were no different, throwing him a surprise get together to celebrate. It was only a small party, just close friends and family so it would be more special. Since then, Hobi decided that a TikTok series focused round the choreography would be a great idea. Dancing to the song with other HYBE idols was simple yet so effective. The fans loved it and so did you, always looking forward to the new videos. That was until he came to you with one of his bright ideas.

‘Hobi you can’t be serious.’ You gaped up at him from your seated position. You were currently in one of the lounge areas of the HYBE building, after having come to visit Hobi and bring him coffee.

‘I am! ARMY will love it, and I already ok’d it with my manager!’ He was way too excited at the prospect of you potentially making a fool of yourself.

‘I’m not a dancer Hobi, I really don’t feel like becoming a laughing stock for millions of people.’ You sighed as you picked at the edge of your dress.

‘Come on jagi! It’s not like I’m asking you to perform on stage. Besides, ARMY know you aren’t a dancer and I already taught you the choreo so....’ He stuck out his bottom lip and gave you puppy dog eyes. Ugh... How could you resist that face?

‘Fine! But you owe me!’ He let out a happy yelp and threw his arms around you, planting a kiss on your temple.

‘It’s gonna be great I promise!’

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Before you started filming, Hobi went over the choreography with you at least a hundred times, (at your request) before you felt confident enough to just go for it.

You stumbled over your own feet a few times, causing Hobi to cast you an amused glance, but overall you did well and you were proud of yourself! Plus the reaction from the fans was overwhelmingly positive too.

He’d tagged you in the video and captioned it, ‘Please be nice to Y/N and compliment her dancing! She was nervous but did so well!’

Fan1: OMG the smile he gives her!

Fan2: Her little stumble was so cute!

Fan3: Get you a man that looks at you like J-Hope looks at Y/N

Fan4: We sure she isn’t secretly a dancer?

Fan5: THAT HUG AT THE END SAGEUGEDUBWEIYFGUEWG

‘See jagi? I told you there was nothing to worry about!’ Hobi smiled as he read the comments over your shoulder.

‘Yeah, even though I messed it up.’ You chuckled to yourself when he hugged you tightly from behind, chin resting on your shoulder.

‘You’re too hard on yourself! It was great for a first time performance!’ You tried to hide your shy smile. This man was too sweet.

‘Yah! Why are you getting shy all of a sudden?’ He jabbed his fingers into your sides, causing you to gasp out in laughter.

‘OK! OK! Stop!’ You grabbed onto his hands and spinning round to face him. ‘You’re mean to me sometimes.’ You pouted, causing him to crack up.

‘I love you too jagi.’ Hobi leaned down to quickly peck your lips.

‘Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for me to take some dancing lessons. I may need them for a role in the future..’ You thought out loud as he pulled away.

‘Why would you pay for lessons when I can just teach you?’ Hobi raised his eyebrows in question.

‘As if I’d let you teach me!’ You exclaimed as soon as he finished his sentence, causing him to stare wide eyed at you. Ok, that hurt his feelings a little.

‘I’ve seen the death stares you give to the boys when they dare to make a mistake, and I’d rather not be on the receiving end of that!’ His body relaxed when he heard your reasoning. You had a valid point he though. He took his dancing very seriously and he would get upset when a mistake was made. As you knew full well, he was a perfectionist.

‘Ah – Just know that look comes from a place of love!’

‘It’s still a no!’

#bts #bts x reader #imagine #scenario #one shot #drabble #reaction #smut #fluff #angst #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #actress!reader #idol!au

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andy-wm · 1 year ago

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My thoughts on SEVEN, both the song and the MV, and what it says about Jungkook.

About the song:

My biggest take away from the song is that Jungkook has total confidence in his ability to keep his partner satisfied and entertained. Daily. He also has a good reason to do heaps of laundry.

Also, he gets to say Fu@k a lot (always fun) and his pronunciation has really improved since he collabed with that disrespectful a$$hole who's name i won't bother to mention.

Seriously though, i hope his adulthood will finally sink in for the people who still try to keep him in babyville.

From a musical point of view, he does get to use those magnificent pipes he has, and use them well. The song flexes his vocal range and has lots of dynamic movement. And he gets to rap. I can see why he would have wanted to sing it.

About the MV:

I have a few observations about the mv and the relationship represented. I know it's meant to be lighthearted but that doesn't mean it shows us a healthy relationship so i'm gonna say my piece. Sorry if it's a downer, feel free to skip.

The power dynamic between JK's character and Sohee's character is what i find interesting.

She's totally in control of their narrative the whole way through.

At the start, she's angry and berating him and he's just listening, his head down. Very submissive. Most of the time his hands are in his lap or on the table while she's gesturing to herself and even throwing her hands up. The only time his energy is up. Is when he pulls her away from the falling debris.

She's getting up to leave halfway through his response, too. She doesnt really give him a chance to respond.

Even though he tries and tries to talk to her, she's dismissive, rolling her eyes, ignoring him, constantly walking away before he can finish what he's trying to tell her. At one point she pushes him so hard he falls backwards. He's repeatedly risking his personal well-being to get her to hear his side, but even then, he's still completely submissive. He brings her flowers, he walks three steps behind her, he tries to make her laugh to break the tension so she will listen.

Theres only one point at which he is assertive and that's at 2.55 when he gets around in front of her.

When he does eventually get her to stop and hear him out, he takes the role of a supplicant. She is very much in control of the outcome. She eventually offers her hand, and then basically hauls him along behind her. He is trotting along behind her like a scolded child.

I found it a little hard to watch because JK isn't an actor. Not because his acting is bad but becuase it's really him.

I could be way off, i admit that, but i honestly feel that his character is responding exactly as he himself would respond. He's soft and sweet and gentle, but dammit he believes in them! He's trying his best to placate her even though she is giving him NOTHING back.

I hate that it reminds me of that damn hamburger incident (he's is a sponge cake. Pls dont hurt him, world.)

Anywayyyyy....

My take away is 2 things.

First one is, throughout the MV his character is "fighting *for* the relationship", which is different from fighting within the relationship. He wants this problem they have to be solved, and he's prepared to do the work. Go, you Jungkook’s alter ego.

Second one is, despite a lot of people seeing this as a,stalker situation, the power balance is very heavily weighted towards her. Also, she treats him pretty disrespectfully. If these gender roles were reversed, the comments would be very interesting...

Other than that i loved the aesthetic, the humour, and the energy.

But what does this overtly hereronormative MV tell us about Jungkook's sexual orientation?

I'll say it does not tell us anything about who he likes to do the horizontal boogie with.

He liked the song, and wanted to record it. I have no idea if he had any hand in the MV storyline. If he did, awesome. It's fun.

But let's be real about the likelihood of him coming out to the world through a MV. I'd say it's ZERO. Reality dictates that whatever his own orientation, the MV needed to represent the Jungkook (most of) the world WANTS to see. Dont forget, this song is more of a business decision than a creative decision for Hybe. We know SB had a big part in the processs, and that man is all about the dollar bills.

It's certainly not a personal statement from JK. Its a fun, summer song and he gets to say F◇CK a lot and flex his vocal chops. That's it.

Do i personally think JK is gay? Hell yeah. With bells on.

Do i think he would risk it all?? ('it' being a huge entertainment empire, his own and his friends' careers, social damnation, personal freedom, and the loss of his contact with ARMY)

No, absolutely not. Not for a song that he didn't even write. Not in his solo debut. Not in today's America (sorry American readers, the USA isn't a safe place to be queer right now).

An unrelated question:

Do i think he will show us something more substantial with his album?

I think he will. I truly hope so. I dont think he's going to sing about his orientation but i do think the songs will be meaningful and personal and I'll be quite suprised if there isn't a fair bit of queer subtext.

If he includes a hidden track and Jimin features on it, I will throw a party and sprinkle glitter EVERYWHERE.

Just for fun, here's some JK looking gorgeously gay...

Living his best life in the Butter MV

His gestures... so pretty

No words for this one (cr to photographer)

I mean he's not wrong...

#jikook #kookmin #국민 #jeon jungguk #jungkook seven

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pommpuriinn · 1 year ago

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♩♫❤️¨*:·. MAKING OF BLACK MAMBA EP

SYNOPSIS: Bang PD has decided to give Joohyung the chance to shine with having ideas to let her become a solo artist that has full creative control. But with Joohyung’s commitment to TXT will she even take the offer and balance everything on her shoulders.

ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗ JANUARY 2022

Tubatu just finished their end of the year performances and are currently on a short break before recording new songs for future projects. Eunha came to the dorm with a surprise meeting for Joohyung, who was currently under her sheets fast asleep. Finally sleeping in after months of working was the greatest until someone has to come in and ruin it. “Joohyung,” Eunha whispered, gently rubbing Joohyung’s back trying to slowly wake her up. “Joohyung-ah I’m sorry but you have to wake up.” Eunha did feel bad for waking her up. “Mm?” Joohyung moved slowly around her bed. “Bang PD is calling you in for a meeting.” Eunha started running her fingers through Joohyung’s hair trying to fix it. “Are the members up too?” Joohyung queationed, with her eyes still closed. “The meeting is just for you.” Eunha answered. “Why?” Joohyung slowly sat up while rubbing her eyes awake. “It’s a surprise~” Eunha sang while shaking Joohyung trying to wake her up even more. “I’ll wait in the living room.” She got up and closed the door behind her.

Joohyung got dressed before heading inside her bathroom to do her morning routine. They stopped to grab their matchas before heading to the Hybe building and meeting everyone. “Did I get trouble?” Joohyung whispered, aa they pass by security. Eunha chuckled, “no I think it’s something you’ll look forward to.” Eunha opened the door for Joohyung to go in first, Joohyung gave a quick ‘thank you’ towards Eunha before bowing her head at everyone as they got up from their seats to so the same. “Joohyung it’s been awhile.” Bang PD smiled at her. “It has. Our schedule is pretty hectic.” Joohyung sat down and cross her leg over the other. “So I have some exciting news for you today.” Bang PD gathered his papers. “You’re such an amazing artist and we value your hard work and everything you had to put up with since the beginning. With that being said we want to ask if you are interested to be Tomorrow x Together’s first soloist?”

Joohyung’s eyes widen immediately she never really thought about debuting solo since she was chosen to be in the final line up. “Oh…um I firstly want to thanked you for thinking about me.” Joohyung nervously chuckled. “With full transparency if I do take this opportunity I would really want full creative control. I know what I want and I know how I want it to sound and look like.” Joohyung really wanted to stand her ground. “I do believe you will make something great and I don’t doubt you. But the only thing is we really want to release your project January of next year, so you would have half the year to write and record and the another half to do jacket shoots and film your mv along with the process to make the albums.” Bang PD laid everything out for Joohyung who was listening intently to all the information. “But this is on top of all the Tomorrow x Together already existing schedules that you have to attend.” A staff member added. That was the thing that’s sitting behind Joohyung’s head is the amount of pressure she was going to face if she takes the opportunity. This is also another dream for her and is something she wants to do. “I would like to accept it.” Joohyung answer made everyone sigh in relief.

“Amazing. I do want to say we have hired a new small group of female producers that I think really suit you and could help you with your project. If you like of course.” Bang PD threw the suggestion to Joohyung. “We could set up a session at the studio.” Joohyung nodded. This solidified new beginnings and new hardships for Joohyung.

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄

TWO WEEKS LATER

Joohyung made her way to her brand new music studio which will the place where she meets the new producers HYBE hired. Eunha gave her a heads up that she’s there with the girls already. “Don’t be awkward Joohyung. Don’t be awkward.” She mumbled to herself while she walked down the hallway. Joohyung made it in front of the door that was now labeled ‘Jooie’s Place’, Joohyung gave soft knocks on the door before twisting the door handle opening the door. “Hello~” the new hires immediately stood up and gave little bows towards Joohyung. Joohyung covered her mouth with her hand shocked at how pretty the three girls are. “Hi, I’m Joohyung.” She shyly waved at them making them laugh at her shyness. “How cute~” the short blonde haired one cooed causing the other two to agree with her. “Ok, now that Joohyung arrived we I can introduce everyone.” Eunha announced. “Joohyung this is Winter,” the blonde bob one. “Giselle,” she has reddish brown hair with bangs. “And Ning Ning I think she’s our youngest producer.” Eunha finished introducing everyone to Joohyung. “Our trio name is Aespa.” Giselle added.

Everyone took some time to get to know one another which was going well, Eunha was relief that girls were vibing and were actually fond of each other. It didn’t take long before they started discussing about Joohyung vision for her solo project. “I have a couple unfinished songs and beats we can work with.” Joohyung went straight to her computer that had everything on it.

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MARCH 2022

It’s been a little over two months now and almost everyday Joohyung meets Aespa in her studio constantly working and perfecting the first two songs. “Let’s work on ‘Aenergy’ first.” Joohyung felt like something was missing as she played the song out loud. “I like how powerful the song is, but I want to add like a fun aspect to it. Maybe we can play with the ‘Joohyung rocket puncher, Winter Armamenter- towards the end of the song.” Joohyung put out her input. “How about we kinda hype ourselves up like ‘Winter your hands in the air, Giselle your hands in the air!’” Ning Ning threw an idea out there. It was like a lightbulb went off in everyone’s heads and they immediately went in the recording booth.

The reason why Joohyung wants the three girls including their name ‘Aespa’ on her tracks is because she genuinely likes them and can see how passionate they are of their art. Joohyung even included their name in her title track ‘Black Mamba’. As they moved on to working on the main track which didn’t need much work, but layering Joohyung’s vocals on top of each other. “Unnie your voice is crazy!” Winter spoke through the mic. Joohyung laughed, “thank you I try.”

“I honestly think it’s perfect and done.” Giselle announced giving Joohyung a thumbs up. “Yay~” Joohyung was so happy and proud of all their work. “Now the part where I dread the most is coming.” Joohyung could already feel the pain her body is going to be in sooner or later. “What part?” Ning Ning was curious. “I have to submit the first round of the two songs so the team can hear it, especially the title track. Then I have to start figuring out choreo with our choreographer and dance for hours on end.” Joohyung explained.

Along with working on her solo project Joohyung also has to work on ‘Minisode 2: Thursday’s Child’ thankfully for Joohyung it’s only an EP After finishing in her studio Joohyung quickly said her ‘goodbyes’ to her girls and made her way to TXT’s main recording studio.

“Noona~” Kai and Taehyun sprung up at the sight of Joohyung entering. The group have been taking extra care of Joohyung and how much supporting her since she told them the news. At first they misheard her and thought Joohyung was leaving them to become a soloist, which almost ended with all of them crying. But Joohyung quickly reassured them that that’s never happening and wouldn’t leave them. “You should take a nap before it’s your turn.” Soobin said, as he started clearly the long couch. Joohyung gladly took the opportunity. The members worry about Joohyung because she’s doing 10x more work then they’re doing right now plus seeing their schedule for year doesn’t help. The comeback in May and the tour starting in July. Joohyung immediately went to sleep it was like her body was dying for her to take a nap with all the all nighters she was pulling.

“Even though they gave her a year to finish everything that isn’t enough time with all our schedules that they’re making her attend to.” Taehyun sighed, as he rubbed Joohyung’s leg softly. “I wouldn’t be sad if she didn’t promote with us for this comeback.” Kai just didn’t want Joohyung to overwork herself and wanted her to focus more on her solo. “Me too, but Joohyung doesn’t want to disappoint moa nor us. She’s stubborn and she wouldn’t allow that.” Soobin shook his head ‘no’.

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APRIL 2022

“Let’s run it again.” Joohyung announced to her team. During the last week of March Joohyung the her choreographer started working on the dance for ‘Black Mamba’ after Bang PD approved on the first two songs they finished. It was now 3 in the afternoon and everyone started at 8 in the morning, sweat was running down her forehead which Joohyung quickly grabbed a clean towel to wipe off the droplets. “It’ll be the last time for today.” Joohyung smiled at her female backup dancers feeling really appreciative of their hard work.

After perfecting the dance everyone besides Joohyung and her team got to enjoy the rest of their day while Joohyung has to make her way into another practice room. “Hello everyone~” Joohyung greeted everyone in the room before throwing herself into Beomgyu’s arms. “I’m tired.” Joohyung mumbled into his chest. Beomgyu wrapped his arms around her tried body squeezing her a bit. “Sit this one out. Your cheeks are red and you feel warm.” Beomgyu was trying to convince her. “No.” Joohyung stubbornly refused. “At least promise me you’ll come straight home and rest. No going to the studio, no working just laying down ok?” He wasn’t really asking her, but more like telling her. Joohyung weakly nodded and continued holding on to him already shutting her eyes.

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MAY 2022

In a blink of an eye ‘Minisode 2: Thursday’s Child’ was released and breaking records. Moas loved the album, the concept photos, and TXT’s new dark look. Joohyung did end up getting a bit sick during the promotional period, but thankfully nothing too major. Soobin kept on giving her vitamins while Yeonjun would buy her healthy meals and juices making sure she never lack nutrition. As much as Joohyung hates to admit she really relied on the members during this time. Which didn’t bother them at all they wanted Joohyung to relied on them for everything and anything, since Joohyung always knew puts on a brave face and hides her emotions so she doesn’t burden people or the group. She never wants to disappoint.

Not only were the members huge help moas were too. They could tell something was a little off of Joohyung, and the members did say during a group live that Joohyung didn’t attend to that she was feeling a bit sick. So moas made sure to send her ‘get well soon’ messages on weverse and on twitter. It made Joohyung day reading all the encouraging messages. It gave her more confidence and motivation to continue performing on stage.

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JUNE 2022

By this time promotions ended and it was getting closer to the start of tour, so now everyone was practicing the set list along with outfit fittings. Joohyung and Aespa finished the final two songs for her ep ‘Black Mamba’. Everything was approved and it was time to start the photo shoots for each version so the albums could finally get made into physical ones. Joohyung would sometimes leave early from practicing and get home late from the photo shoot site. Slowly but surely the weight on Joohyung’s shoulders were lifting off and she could finally feel lighter. Before Joohyung would sometimes come home crying because of stress and tiredness that was building up inside her. Finally seeing moas in person from all around will really help Joohyung and really distract her from all her worries.

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JULY 2022

The Act: Lovesick tour went well minus Beomgyu getting sick in New York. Joohyung felt alive again as she pushed all the solo project stuff away and lived in the moment. She even got permission to announced that she was going to have a solo debut in the LA show. It was tiring month but it was fun.

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SEPTEMBER 2022

Just after the Japanese leg of tour ended Joohyung went straight back to Korea to start filming the MV. Filming took a total of 3 days to film and of course the members visit the set throughout the 3 days to show their support.

(I don’t want to write much because I plan on making a separate post about the MV filming)

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DECEMBER 2022

Hybe officially confirmed the release date of ‘The Start: Black Mamba’ coming out January 1st. Life was still a bit hectic like always with finishing TXT’s second tour back in October, announcing another mini album coming, along with preparing for Joohyung’s music shows performances.

Preorders were now opening and with just one day alone Joohyung’s first EP was breaking records with the amount that was being purchased. Fans and non fans were trending hashtags on twitter even making tiktoks talking about how excited they were to listen to it and get the physical album.

#txt 6th member #txt additional member #kpop added member #kpop additional member #kpop female addition #txt female member #txt female addition #kpop female oc

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