#i thought the exploration of the MCs trauma was done well & her thoughts on true crime

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

We’ll Never Tell

YA thriller

a group of teens with a successful anonymous youtube channel where they explore abandoned buildings take on one more before they leave for uni - a hollywood mansion that was the site of a infamous murder

but something goes wrong, and in the aftermath they have to figure out what happened without being caught and charged with more than just breaking and entering

sapphic & achillean

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

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313. Daydream by Hannah Grace--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

DAYDREAM gave me something that the last book in this series didn't: similar vibes to ICEBREAKER. And while this makes a lot of sense as to why some people didn't like this one and ICEBREAKER but loved the second book, I am the complete opposite because I LOVED ICEBREAKER.

Much like the first book in this series, there was some great communication and mutual understanding. There was an understanding about mental health and understanding boundaries. Despite both characters coming in with anxious personalities, they were both incredibly good at working together (even though the FMC definitely needed therapy for her people pleasing that grew from trauma.)

I'm glad that our beloved MMC was able to find someone who understood him and I'm glad our overworked and new to us FMC was able to find solace in her love interest, especially after that toxic af ex-boyfriend.

There was some great representation in this about how everyone learns differently, some diversity in the characters, that there is beauty in different body types, and that everyone has a different way of handling stress. And strangely enough, even though the two MCs had good communication between each other, it was shown how difficult communication CAN be when you feel like everyone is pressuring you to communicate.

And while the friends to lovers dynamic was awesome, that spice was SPICY. Loved the consent and the way the MMC respected the FMC's decisions and went at her pace.

I also really appreciated Grace's note on how some people choose to live their lives undiagnosed because it's true--sometimes finding coping mechanisms to help you day to day feels like enough.

I'm excited to see what's next in this universe!

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314. Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata & Ginny Tapley Takemori (Translator)--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Reading this after EARTHLINGS made me notice a few things about this author. Both MCs deal with social ostracizing and emotional dissociation. Both meet men who meet their "freak" and then takes it to the next level, and both have families that exert a concerning level of control over the MC.

There's is a trend. And like I told my friend, I'm glad I read this after EARTHLINGS because in seeing these connections, it's helped me understand how we got from this--an emotionless woman who mimics those around her in order to maintain her status as "part of society"--to the nightmarish events of EARTHLINGS.

CONVENIENCE STORE WOMAN, on the surface, is a simple story of a woman who finds comfort in her part-time job working in a convenience store. When she meets a man who wants to "leave the stone age" and find himself a sugar mama (not said in so many words), that's when she starts to question the life she's made for herself. And I'll be honest, I'm happy with what she ends up doing in the end--it was a nice full circle moment (kind of like how EARTHLINGS had a bizarre full circle moment as well).

One of the things I do like about Murata's writing is her commentary on society. Her writing may be a bit odd and off-putting, but having her characters be outsiders really offers insight into how role-obsessed and behaviour-obsessed society is. If you don't have a partner and a child, have you truly succeeded in life? If you don't have an office job or "adult job", have you truly succeeded? If you don't fit the standards of what it means to be "normal", can you ever really fit in? Even though it's done in a roundabout way, Murata explores and celebrates these differences in CONVENIENCE STORE WOMAN. By putting her anti-social MCs beside her societally acceptable characters, we get to see just how different they are and since we usually only get the POV of the anti-social character, we truly get to see how odd normality might seem to someone who finds it an impossible goal.

Or maybe this was just a novella with some really weird and obsessive characters. But I choose to think that there is more to Murata's writing--especially when I'm seeing parallels in two characters from two wholly different works of fiction.

I still want to read more of her work, if only to see what other similarities her future characters will have. Also, I think that this being a commentary on Japanese society (which I am not a part of) makes it even more fascinating because so much of it can also be applied to Western society.

I'd recommend this if you want a small bite of a book with some pretty big concepts and underlining topics. If you want to subject yourself to EARTHLINGS, I weirdly recommend reading that before this.

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315. Same Time Next Summer by Annabel Monaghan--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

After reading my first Annabel Monaghan novel earlier this year, I decided that I must read more of her work and, as expected, SAME TIME NEXT SUMMER didn't disappoint. One of the things I absolutely enjoy about this author's writing is how the pacing of the story completely steals your attention and you can't help but fall head first into the romance and connection between the characters.

As I'm writing this review, I am blasting STICK SEASON and I'm realizing that it would have been the perfect song for these two characters when they first broke up when they were teenagers. While I DO wish we had a bit more time to settle into this lost and heartbreak, there were still instances throughout the book where the tension between them was palpable--even though there was someone else in the middle.

And I have such a complicated relationship with books that have love triangles. Sometimes the characters end up with a wholly new person, but sometimes I'll encounter ones like the one in SAME TIME NEXT SUMMER, where the love was just interrupted for a few years and it is a no-brainer where the story is going to go. I liked seeing how awkward the FMC was around her childhood love and I liked how he was acting all nonchalant, but you knew he was sort of dying on the inside.

What I did really enjoy about this one is that the relationship grew organically--it wasn't too quick or disrespectful, it happened organically and over some time where the FMC struggled when coming to terms with who she had become and who she wanted to be.

One of the things that took me a bit to get used to was the back and forth of the past and present, especially because the narrative voice changed from first person to third person and we got the MMC's perspective. I was NOT a fan of the reason for the breakup and how it all was resolved (the situation not the breakup). Call me pessimistic and in desperate need of therapy, but I don't think it could ever be that simple.

That being said, this was one of those romances you'd definitely want for the beach. It wasn't life-changing, but it was nicely paced, just the right length to stay entertaining, and was cute enough that it would go great with some summer sunshine, that salty beach water, and memories made with family on the sand (or by the pool).

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316. Secret of the Water Dragon by Tracey West & Damien Jones (Illustrator)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I will probably not continue with this series after this one, but I still thought this one was adorable! I loved that there is so much exploration of other cultures. I think it's so important to see this in books for younger readers!

I think this is also the book in the early years of the series where you really start to learn a bit more about the lore of the world. We also got to learn more about the other characters. I can see why so many littles are absolutely loving this series--it's adventurous, full of empathy, and honestly, I can see it being challenging enough for younger readers that it keeps them hooked--especially because it doesn't use overly childish and simple words. Plus, it has adventures and is a cohesive story.

Now I feel more confident when recommend this series to some of my little customers!

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317. Cherry Magic! Volume 12 by Yuu Toyota--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love how these two support each other and how we see their imperfections. It's one of the things I've always loved about them and as the series progresses, they only get better and better at it--especially because they get to know more about each other.

And I liked the second couple in this because we will finally see them facing the truth! I'm excited to see where their story takes them, especially because of that cliffhanger. I think it's definitely going to take a bit of work to get that couple to their happy ending.

Basically, this whole volume was great for the communication between the couples and because we got to see the dynamics of each couple. I

don't know how many more volumes there will be, but I wonder how Toyota will bring everything together by the end!

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318. The Beauty of Us by Farzana Doctor

I received a copy of this book from the publisher

THE BEAUTY OF US was a book with many different layers. Being set in the 80s alone offered some intriguing commentary, especially because the main cast of characters were very diverse--which I can only imagine what life was like back then as a minority. Another great layer was the dark academia atmosphere that was haunted by the ghost of a past teacher and a life-altering mystery that has some powerful consequences. I found that THE BEAUTY OF US would make a great Autumn read, to be completely honest.

One of the strongest parts of this book was that it was written in multiple perspectives, giving us a very rounded sense of what was happening. We not only got to learn about the different experiences had in this school, but we also were given insight into how the big mystery of the book eventually affected these characters in different ways.

Another strong part of THE BEAUTY OF US were the core themes of the book surrounding families (found and biological), tradition, language, race, and culture. This school was such a wonderful collection of students from all over the world and since it's set in a small Canadian town in the 80s, I was surprised. But there are obviously moments of racism and one particular character just being a vile person--however, I also understand that she was a teenager and a product of her upbringing and who she surrounded herself with.

THE BEAUTY OF US straddles that fine line of young adult and adult--sometimes veering a little more into the adult side. Some of the topics, like the inappropriate relationship between two characters that is an abuse of power, may be a bit on the older side BUT I also think it's important for teens to read these stories. They might find parallels in their own experiences--not just in the inappropriate relationship, but in how they perceive themselves when surrounded by others who don't look like them or come from similar backgrounds.

Read this if you like dark academia set in the 80s that features a lot of diversity, multiple POVs, and deeper topics that might straddle that line between young adult and new adult.

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319. The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book is so outside my usual preferred genres that I didn't know what to expect. I've had it on my shelves for YEARS, but finally gave in when I saw the audiobook at the library. And let me tell you, I was SURPRISED. Although it wasn't perfect, I enjoyed the hell out of this book. I loved that the island was like a character in itself and it demanded to be written about!

I don't know how Mary Ann Shaffer did it, but she managed to add so much emotion and character into an epistolary novel. Even though the beginning of the book took me some time to get into, I found myself sinking into the story as it progressed. I wanted the MC to succeed in her story searching adventures, but I especially became invested when she was mailed a letter from one of the members of the society.

I do this thing with books that have romance where I try to guess who will be the eventual capturer of the MC's heart and I immediately knew who he would be in this one, mainly because the other option was someone who promised to be the snuffer of the MC's fire. I despised that man, but also know he was a product of his time.

One of the things I wasn't expecting with this book was how emotionally invested I would get with these many lives. They had so much tragedy happen to them, but they still tried to make the best of their situation and were such a welcoming community. The MC's struggle with keeping her identity in a world that wanted her to get in line was also another great surprise. She had such a powerful personality and was surprisingly progressive with one of her best friends.

There were hilarious moments, heartwarming moments, heartbreaking moments, and that reveal at the end was actually hilarious and so feasible. I also thought it was a timely read (for me) because it made me think about a few things happening in present time. But that's a different topic not making its way into this review.

I highly recommend this book--especially if you want a historical novel written in a unique way, full of heart, great characters, and the softest and most understated romance that sneaks up on both you as the reader and the MC. I definitely see myself reading this again in the future.

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320. I'll Have What He's Having by Adib Khorram--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING was quite the experience. Coming from Khorram's incredible YA duology, it was definitely an adjustment because of how spicy this book was, aha. But beyond that, I knew I would enjoy this because Khorram's writing is incredible and full of emotion.

I like how neurotic both characters were about relationships and the past pain they felt with old loves, but how they overcame their anxiousness to give their love a shot. This is why I love dual POVs so much, because I NEED to know where both minds are at--especially when we are shown a situation that always needs a little more context and behind the scenes thought processes. I don't like having to guess what a person is thinking in real life, so it's nice not to have to do it in literature, too.

This is the second book in less than two months that I've read with a wine theme and it was so fascinating. I know the wine world is a complex one, but seeing them in fiction was interesting. Especially the processes and difficulty levels of attaining recognition in that world. But with the wine came the interesting factoids about food and its connection to culture, and family and how some things are completely intertwined.

I also liked the side characters and I think I'd be okay with a companion novel from the POV of a different character--especially the one character who is dating someone that the MC is iffy about. Left me curious and side-eyeing that situation.

Overall, this was SPICY, full of heart, and rounded by Khorram's expert navigation of family and culture. Highly recommend.

___

Happy reading!

[anotherbeingsworld]

Fly High

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine) 

Characters: Bryce Lahela, Casey Valentine and Teresa Martinez. 

Summary: The small moments with Mr.s Martinez were playing in their mind a year after the inevitable happens. 

TW: death. 

A/N: hi! I am sorta-back in the writing game? This idea has been living in my mind as OPH is coming. Its somewhat a tribute to Mrs. Martinez, and with a small touch of backstory between Bryce and Casey. I’m so sorry for not writing as much as I did before, uni is almost coming to an end for the 2nd semester which i am quite excited for. But, this story is dear to my heart. Idk why I love to write death, as i somewhat resonates it with life, but...this really is something I am very proud of. I like to dedicate this to those who wants to catch their dreams but, they couldn’t. Mrs. Martinez really gave us good advice, and...I’d like for it to stay in our minds. Also, I’m dedicating this to those who have leave a mark in my life. Its something that still blows me away everyday. Thank you, and enjoy! <3 

MY MASTERLIST

"I would take a 99% chance of dying over spending the next ten years in this hospital. To have even a 1% chance of exploring the world... of finally standing on the steps of Sacre-Coeur... I would give everything."—Mrs. Martinez.

---------

365 days ago. 

“Teresa Martinez were found dead at her hotel room in Buenos Aires.” was the topic in the hospital that day. The news of Mr.s Martinez leave the hospital devastated, as the world seems to stop for Casey. 

It doesn’t feel real. It’s not real, she is living her life happily in Paris...visiting the Sacre-Coeur. She can’t be...  

The thoughts were interrupted by the sound of ambulance coming in, a trauma case distracting her thoughts. She quickly joined in the other interns in the scene, but her mind falls onto Mr.s Martinez; the advice she left. A wisdom, as her passing is similar to a shooting star finally burns out. A light that has to be left behind. The days went by quicker, a trial, law-suit occurs in a blink of an eye. 

---------

PRESENT DAY 

It was a day of remembrance today, as Bryce and Casey make their way to the hospital in a slow pace. It was an emotional day for all of them, as all their memories were playing. All the laughter and joy, it was one of her favorite things about her. Her cheery persona was the heart of Edenbrook, and without her; a light has been burn, but a star has obtain someone special to keep on shining them from a far. 

Bryce was awfully quiet as well, as they walked down the road after spending their night together. Words were unspoken the night before, as the comfort was worth more than a sentence, a word and even a rhyme. 

Casey found herself to a stop, at the entrance. A distance away, trying to calmed herself down. He broke the silence by placing his hand on her cheek, caressing it with a small smile on his face.

‘You cam do this okay, we are all here for you.’ He said before pulling her into a kiss, as they melt into an embrace before going their separate ways. He stops in the mid of the hallway, his eyes fall onto her as they were met with a pair of emeralds that is already looking at him. 

They both resume their day, as the memories followed them throughout the hour. A reminder that she had left a mark to everyone in Edenbrook including one Casey Valentine and Bryce Lahela. 

----------

C A S E Y

The voices around her fades, as she sat on the empty bench, letting out a sigh as she was dismissed by Dr. Mirani upon her mistake today in the patient room. She remembers the embarrassment as the other interns let out a chuckle upon her mistake, moments before she was chewed. It was her second week as an intern, and she has made mistakes; what happened to her? 

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone occupying a seat the opposite of her. It was Mrs Martinez letting out a breath with her I.V stand on her side, looking at her with concern. She smiled upon her arrival as she remembers the events on their first meet which involves herself being lost in the hospital during her first day with Elijah. 

Weeks later, she became close to her as she learns upon her love towards travelling, visiting new places around the world; from the Bright Lights of Paris to the city of Madrid. And, the thought of the postcards hanging in her room bring joy to her, as a reminder of her own dream to be a doctor. 

“Casey dear, what’s with the long face?” She spoke, as Casey lets out a sigh.

“I just, I messed up again. It’s been a month, and I tend to get distracted with everything; friendships, the competition, dreading patients, and everything feels too overwhelming.” She burried her face in her hands, trying to hide her expression from the woman in front of her.

After a few moments of silence, she opened her eyes once more to be met with a concerned looking Mr.s Martinez. 

“Dear, you are not human if you never messed up. If I ever got a dollar for every time I took a wrong turn in life, I believe I can afford a mansion in the city of Stars.” 

Casey lets out a chuckle upon the mention of it, as the smile slowly appear on her face. 

“I think I’d be able to pay up my student loans that way.” 

There was a ripple of laughter between them, lighten up the mood releasing a knot on her shoulders that has been there for the day. 

“Indeed, but I saw you work that day; and I believe you are going places dear. You are unique, and the world is not ready to see the light in you dim. For the last decades of living, I made a huge mistake of not pursuing my dreams; and I don’t want to see you give up this dream Casey.” Her voice is demanding yet calm giving her a sense of hope. 

They were interrupted by Danny who is in the midst of a scavenger hunt for one Mr.s Martinez who apparently has left her room once again.

“There you are Mr.s Martinez, its time for your medicine once again.” Danny said as he smiles upon their interaction.

“I guess my time is up. I had fun chatting with you dear, I’ll see you soon.” Mr.s Martinez left with Danny leaving her alone with the wild thoughts once again. 

But, this moment; she received a sense of hope. Maybe it will be okay after all. 

----------

B R Y C E

The first day as a surgical intern at Edenbrook. He was finally a surgeon, all those years of bartending was worth it. His confidence somewhat pushed people away, as he shrugs the feeling off. He came here to be the best, and not to find friends. 

“Welcome interns. Today is the start of your careers as a surgical intern, and I am ecstatic for what all of you could bring to the table.” the Dr. Harper Emery exclaims happily, as she eyed the crowd of surgeons.

There was a round of applause, as the energy in the room was accumulated. 

“I will introduce you to Dr. Tanaka who is one of your surgical residents. He will be guiding you through this journey. Some of you will fall, quit, but some of you will rise and it will be worth it in the end.” 

After the introduction was done, the crowd was dismissed as the first rounds of the day begun for the surgical interns. 

His heart was filled with excitement, a new beginning. A new slate, and a new chance to not become known. That is the whole reason from the beginning. He is Bryce Lahela, a surgeon. Nothing else more. 

As the days go by, he has been able to witness the procedures that were taught during his years at medical school. His gaze was equivalent to one who looks at their favorite food which is filled with awed and joy. As someone who would fixed up the problems at home, surgery made him feel fulfill once again. It is giving him a purpose even after everything that has happened. 

“Dr Lahela, earth to Dr. Lahela.” A voice called for him brought him back from his subconscious. 

“Yes, I’m here.” He replied as the other interns were found laughing silently at the back.

“What is the first step to perform a  Laparoscopic appendectomy?’ Dr. Tanaka questioned him with Dr. Emery on his side observing. All of the eyes fall on him.

It was his moment to show that he is worth it today, and everyday for the rest of his life.

We will access the appendix through a few small incisions in the abdomen as a cannula which is a small, narrow tube  will then be inserted. It is used to inflate the abdomen with carbon dioxide gas which allows us to see the appendix more clearly...” He paused, as he took a deep breath before resuming his explanation. 

“Once the abdomen is inflated,  a laparoscope will be inserted through the incision. It is a long, thin tube with a high-intensity light and a high-resolution camera at the front which will display the images on a screen, allowing us to see inside of the abdomen and guide the instruments. When the appendix is found, it will be tied off with stiches and removed. The small incisions are then cleaned, closed, and dressed.” His final words fall as somehow equivalent to a mic-drop earning both smiles from the two doctors, as they resumed with rounds for the day. 

He took a minute to be proud of himself, as it is a reminder that he is here to stay. 

After rounds was over, he is officially a surgeon. He was assigned under Dr. Tanaka as he was his resident along with a few other interns. It was really happening, the suprised dream he had that was meant to be an escape; has came true today.

“Dr. Lahela, I would like you to scrub in with me to perform your very first appendectomy in the O.R” Dr. Tanaka said, as his smile was wide filled with joy which was taken away by the growling voices of the other interns behind him. 

He ignored them, as he started to scrub in. The looked that was dedicated to him was somewhat a deja vu moment, a moment where he was known as the son of a criminal. The hatred eyes that is coming to him, attacking him slowly as it was disguised by the confident exterior. 

He shake the thoughts away, getting himself prep in the O.R for his first surgery, but some demons never left as he tried his best. 

After they were dismissed, he took a turn to the cafeteria as a distraction. It wasn’t the best, maybe he hoped it would be like the movies; he would be the protagonist, the hero. Instead, it was the joker. 

He decides upon a snicker bar from one of the vending machines, as the line piled up. He took a seat at the edge of the room, with his pager present on the table. A breath was taken, calming the rage and expectations in him. 

The occupied thoughts were interrupter by a woman, looking at her once again with concern. 

“You should try this, it’s the cafeteria signature.” The voice was soft, comforting as she passed a pudding cup his way. Chocolate to be specific. 

“It’s just a pudding cup, mr.s” He chuckled upon the small cup, as Mr.s Martinez joined him on the empty seats. 

“It’s more than a pudding cup, it’s the cure of sadness actually.” She gestures upon him, as realization hits him.

“I didn’t hide it hard enough didn’t I?” 

She just shake his head, as he held the pudding cup in his hands. 

“You must be one of the new interns aren’t you, the outfit reminds me of a young Harper Emery during her own residency.” She gestures towards his green scrubs. 

“She was the legend, and you have seen her work here before??” His eyes shine upon the name.

“Son, I have been in this hospital for the last decade. I have known all the residents for some times now, there was a lot a person can go through for the last 10 years.” She stated as Bryce was filled with awe. 

“So, tell me what’s with the long face; I thought it was supposed to be an exciting start.”  

“I woke up today feeling on top of the world, but coming here feels like the past haunting me once again. The eyes, the look, and...it reminds me of something I always wanted to forget.” He lets out a small sigh upon the statement, it wasn’t the whole truth, but it feels go to have someone to listen. 

“The past, its always going to be there to haunt us. Sometimes, history repeats itself to prove how strong you are. You have been through a lot and you survived, you are a doctor today dear. This chance is bigger than any doubt, any pain, any memory that you have been through. I have seen the doctors here grow, some had left to pursue something easier, some even crack under the pressure, but some also thrive in excellence. Those people have fought to survive, and that’s what life is about dear. Fighting to survive, I am fighting too. It felt like a long journey for the past 10 years, but some adventures are worth to take to get to the final destination.” She ends the speech with a smile, as she left him with his thoughts once again. 

It feels like a fever-dream, but it is true. Maybe, he will make it after all with a pack of chocolate pudding by his side. 

Suddenly, his pager starts to beep. A new chance to start again, a new hope was in-stored. He took a final bite before leaving the room, feeling okay for the first time that day. 

----------

PRESENT DAY 

The day passes by quickly, as the reminders and memories kept on replaying in their minds. A sign from her, a message possibly, a lingering gift from the beyond. 

Casey met up with Bryce at the entrance, they have plans that evening. Both of them are already dressed in black which replaces the scrubs from the day; Luis invited them that day to pay their respects for Mrs. Martinez. The whole gang followed, as it is better to face the inevitable together- making it less scarier. 

The evening was peaceful, it was beautiful even. The leaves started to fall, its a start of a new season; some would say a new chapter. They met with Luis to pay their respects to the woman who had changed all of their lives, as they changed hers even for a moment. 

They paid their respects together, as Casey lets out of her silent wishes for Mrs. Martinez. It took a few moments before she was met with his comforting gaze once more, as she nods in completion.  Their reunion with Luis was a pleasant one, as he thanked them once more; despite everything. It echo’s in her mind, word-by-word. 

‘You give my mom her happiness, the one thing I couldn’t. I will never thank you enough for the little miracle that had happened. I was pissed when I found out, but...you manage to give her the signature Martinez’s smile once more. Thank you.’

Luis excused himself from the group, as they were pulled into a group hug. Mrs. Martinez gave each and everyone of them a purpose. Something that she couldn’t see before. 

After they bid their farewell,  Bryce and Casey walked hand-in-hand making their way back home as they talked about life, memories, and even happiness. It was a beautiful ending for their day, as the sunset was their backdrop, it was what life is all about. 

She finally started to live life, as he continues to pursue his dream. Maybe even found himself a new dream as well. 

----------

‘Life to one Teresa Martinez ; it was an unforgettable journey. She believed in the impossible, she took a risk that wasn’t mean to be taken by any other. She trusted me, and that was everything. But, the news - it was a tragedy. Death is a tragedy, as life was taken away from us. But, Teresa Martinez’s death reminds us of the dreams that we wanted to catch. The dreams that were left behind, the dreams that were abandoned in the dust. It was a dream that is worth following for, even if it ends upon your death bed. She believed in me during my dark times, and the reminder of one Teresa Martinez, is something we can’t turn back from. But, the advices and love she has left behind is a reminder that those who are gone...will always be with us, we can’t see them, but there are always there guiding us, cheering us on even after they have left us behind. Teresa Martinez lived a good life, and she will never be forgotten as she is flying high at somewhere better.’  

THE END. 

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[madrut16]

July Fanfic Challenge Day 3: Closure - Part 1

Author’s Note: Another new pairing! I finished playing this book back in October for Halloween and ILB (which I haven’t really played bc I want a good ending and I cannot afford the diamonds to get it) and I loved it! This is the first book where I haven’t really been drawn to any of the canon LIs so, of course, I had to come up with this! I can’t wait to write more with them and explore these characters post It Lives. 

Pairing/Book: ILITW (Dan x MC)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: There’s one last thing Raina needs to do before she and some of the gang leave for the start of a new chapter of their lives in Seattle. 

The doorbell rang as I scrambled to finish packing my suitcase, and I cursed out loud when I checked the time on my phone. I knew I should’ve gotten up an hour earlier but I was never a morning person and it took forever to go to sleep last night. Sighing, I stared at the two plastic bins left in my room before running downstairs to the front door.

“I’m coming!” I shouted as I reached the entryway. 

I took a second to smooth down the stray hairs that had appeared in the reflection of the old grandfather clock attached to the wall. It was a silly thing to do since he wouldn’t care what I looked like this early in the morning. But, then again years old crushes made you do a lot of trivial things. 

With a satisfied nod, I finally opened the door. “Hey! Come in.”

“Took you long enough,” Dan commented as I let him inside. 

I gave him one of my signature eye rolls. “Sorry, I was packing.”

“Still?”

“I know, usually I’m much more organized but, I’ve been doing most of this by myself so it’s taken a while,” I explained as I led him back up the stairs. “I swear I’m almost done though, it’s mainly just my suitcase for the road trip I have left.”

Catching my gaze, his lips turned up into a smile. “Good, cause the others are gonna be here in about 15 minutes.”

“I could use some help then,” I replied as we reached my room where I quickly added, “And don’t worry, my underwear is already in there so you don’t have to touch any of that.”

This caused him to chuckle, although I thought I saw his cheeks turn a little red. Or maybe it was just all my imagination, hoping it was true. “Wasn’t even concerned about it. I’m happy to help if it means we actually get to leave on time for a pit stop for coffee and donuts.”

“At Diane’s?” 

“Of course, is there really any other option?” He answered with a smirk. 

After waking up from the coma and dealing with all of the repressed trauma from Mr. Red and Jane and Noah, it made me happy to see him finally starting to return to his normal self over the past several months. 

Packing the pile of sweaters I folded late last night, I responded, “Not in Westchester there isn’t. We’ll have to find someplace like it in Seattle.”

“Oh, I’m sure it won’t be that hard, it’s practically dripping in coffee shops,” he said, handing me the last stack of clothes on my bed. “What are we doing with those?” he asked, gesturing to the closet behind me. 

“Already have that covered,” I disclosed, walking over and opening the door to reveal several hangers wrapped in trash bags. 

Looking over my handiwork, an impressed expression appeared. “You...really planned this out.”

“Actually this time it was my mom’s idea. Once I get to the apartment, I can just hang them back up and take the bags off. Easy peasy.” I started collecting them from the closet and setting them in the one bin that was left unfilled. 

There was a brief pause and I could tell he was deep in thought, almost as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. He always got quiet when he did this but, so did I. That’s how I knew he had slipped into his own head. Well, that and the fact that we’ve been best friends off and on for over a decade now. 

“Dan?”

“Hmm?” he snapped out of his reflective daze. 

“Penny for your thoughts? You got quiet there for a minute.”

Meeting my gaze, he shrugged. “Nothing, I just...it must be hard, not having your parents with you to help move in.”

A small wave of sadness came over me. For almost four years now it’s been like this, them having to miss important milestones and events of my life. They barely made it back in time for my graduation over a year ago. 

“My Nana’s...health problems definitely don’t have a convenient schedule,” I sighed. “Especially now that they’re getting worse. Who knows how long they’ll have to be over there this time. They are helping pay my portion of the rent so...I can’t really complain. They're doing the best they can and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah.”

I managed another smile, not wanting to think about it any longer. “Plus, your family will be over there this weekend before classes start, and they’re always there for me when mine can’t be,” I added. 

“They do adore you,” Dan agreed with a laugh. 

As we finished up the last of my packing, we continued our normal banter until it was complete. Right after that my phone chimed and I saw a new message from Andy in the group chat. 

Andy: I’m here with Ava.

Ava: Can confirm. 

Stacy: I’m on my way, be there shortly. 

Smiling, I sent a thumbs up back. 

“Well, we timed that perfectly,” I told Dan who was reading the messages on his phone. 

This earned me a boyish grin, and I bit my lip as it stirred up a wave of butterflies. “What can I say? We make a great team. Almost perfect even.”

Was he flirting? God, I scrutinized everything between us these days. 

“We really do, don’t we?” I raised an eyebrow teasingly as we headed back downstairs, bringing the bins and my suitcase with us. We set them with the others in the kitchen before letting our friends inside. 

“Hey, Raina, Dan,” Andy said, the morning not hurting his energy one bit.

“Hey, guys!” I exclaimed giving him a hug. 

I attempted to do the same with Ava but she dodged me and I settled for a hive five instead. “Nice try Raina but, it’s not happening.”

“Oh, I’ll get you to let me one of these days.”

She scoffed in response. “Hah, doubtful. It is fun to see you try though.”

I rolled my eyes as Stacy walked through the door. 

“Sorry, I didn’t knock,” she panted out of breath. “But the door was open so I assumed it was fine.”

“Of course it is Stace,” I told her before taking in her haphazard appearance. “Running late?”

She nodded. “I couldn’t decide what to bring! It took me an hour to finally sort everything out. Plus, my mother was delaying me. I don’t think she wants to be by herself.” She frowned momentarily.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Dan chimed in, trying to reassure her. At this point, it was almost second nature. “She just needs some time to adjust.”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied, exhaling the pent up stress she carried. “Doesn’t make it easier. At least Conner is there so, she’ll have some peace of mind.” She rubbed her forehead before painting on a smile. 

Andy cleared his throat to relieve the sudden tension in the room. Everyone knew why Mrs. Green was paranoid. 

“Ready to leave?” he asked, the keys dangling from his hand. 

“I think so,” Dan replied, his analytical gaze wandering around the first floor. “Right Raina?”

I’m about to reply when I remember something. There was one last goodbye I needed to say. However, it meant letting them in on the secret that I’ve been keeping from them. But, I wasn’t one to break a promise and I wasn’t going to do it now. 

“Actually, there is one thing that I need to do,” I responded, a nervous knot forming in my stomach. “It should take ten minutes, fifteen at most.”

I was met with four confused stares. 

“What do you mean?” Dan asked me. 

My gaze drifted to the window where the woods could be seen outside. “I need to visit...Noah.”

The name lingered, slowly sinking into each of my friends’ minds. 

“Wait...you’ve been...seeing him?!” Stacy exclaimed first. 

I had told them about what had happened between us and what he’d become right after that night but not much else. 

I reluctantly nodded. I was tired, exhausted of carrying this burden on my own. 

“For several months now. I know, he’s not exactly my favorite person either, and I definitely think him taking Jane’s place was the right thing to do,” I started to explain. “But, I don’t know, I guess he still deserves some mercy, some compassion still. I don’t want to leave him alone out there. So, I sometimes visit him every week or two, just so he has company.”

They all looked at each other and I closed my eyes, bracing for a confrontation. Yet, that’s not what I received.”

“We’re not mad,” Andy said after a minute. “Well, at least I’m not. I will admit that I’m not really that pissed at the guy anymore. And I’m the one whose leg got busted.”

Stacy and Ava still looked hesitant and I couldn’t blame them. Dan was quiet and deep in thought again but other than that, I had no idea how he felt and that scared me to death. 

“I’m not completely over him trying to kill us...but I will admit I am tired of holding a grudge,” Ava mumbled, her arms folded tightly across her chest. 

After a beat, Stacy sighed reluctantly, a guilt-ridden expression on her face. “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but...me too. That whole mess brought us back together when we never should’ve separated in the first place.”

That left one person. The person I needed to hear from the most. I willed myself to look at him. 

“Dan? Say something,” I begged. 

Please. 

He shrugged a smile appearing. “You were actually worried Raina?” he commented, and I released the air I had been holding in. 

“A little,” I admitted sheepishly. I should’ve known that he’d be the one I’d have to convince the least. 

“I never really faulted the guy,” he said. “I mean yeah he betrayed us, but it was for a good reason. He wanted Jane back, his twin. And he mistakenly thought that was the only way he could do it. So, I’m definitely fine with you doing this. I just wish you would’ve felt like you could tell us. Me.”

I physically felt the weight lift off my shoulders. “Thank you, for not hating me. I just...we weren’t there for Jane when she was like this and look what happened. I don’t want the same thing to happen with Noah. I promised I’d say goodbye before we left.”

“Then let’s do it,” he replied. 

I was taken a bit back as the others nodded in agreement. “You guys don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Just because this is what I need to find peace doesn’t mean it’s what you do.”

His response was immediate. “We’re a team, Raina. All of us. We got into this mess together so we should end it that way too. I think this could be good for all fo us. Well besides Lucas and Lily who aren’t here.”

“They can come with us when we’re here in December if they want to,” Andy said. 

A touched smile appeared on my face. I was so grateful to have them so entrenched in my life again. 

“Then let’s go into the woods.”