#i thought raph would fit better here tho

[nemkero]

forgot to post this here

[twignotstick]

So I saw an ask from @probably-not-a-rutabaga

Got sad, decided I should write sad

Here we are :,)

Words: 1,403

Warnings: Major character death (tho its implied it happened offscreen, so more just major character dead?), Grief/Mourning, general sad vibes [if there's anything missing here, tell me please!]

Other tags: tmnt: aberration, turtle tots (kinda?), sad turtle pile, all the kiddos are sad, not my characters, hurt/little comfort, bittersweet ending, no beta we die like- uh- :|

Summary: Leo finds something he never wanted to find.

Splinter hadn't left his bed for weeks.

It was no secret that he was sick. Leo had tried to keep that secret, but his brothers weren't stupid. They knew what it looked like when someone was sick. They had all been sick before.

They had just never seen it get this bad.

Leo tried to keep up hope, but every day was more terrifying than the last. Every time Splinter would start coughing, hold his eyes tightly shut and shake his head, or even just trip, Leo would be terrified. He just couldn't tell what moment would be his father's last. He didn't want it to happen. He wanted Splinter to be there for his life; for his little brothers'.

Donnie had been working tirelessly on a project, despite Leo's better judgment. Part of him wanted to scold his little brother for barely sleeping in favor of working, but the other, smarter part of him knew this was just how Donnie coped. Working until the bad thoughts don't feel so bad anymore. That was why, when Donnie was finally done, he breathed a sigh of relief.

It was Donnie's biggest project to date; a fully operational game console. Sure, it was an old Game Boy with only a cartridge of Tetris, but Donnie had saved it. He found it tossed in with some other miscellaneous materials Leo had grabbed from the surface, but it was completely unplayable then. The screen didn't work, and the sound (what little did play through the scratchy speakers) obviously didn't match up with the inputs. But somehow, with scraped together materials and a couple months of work, Donnie made it good as new. It even got a new coat of paint with Mikey's help.

Donnie was so proud when it was done, and all of his brothers gathered around to see it boot up for the first time and take turns playing.

Leo thought that Dad might like to see it, too. Maybe even take a turn.

“Dad?”

Leo shifted on his feet in the doorway, facing the dark room where his father had been for the past eternity. He saw his father's form laying under the blankets, but didn't get a response, as usual.

So he continued.

“Donnie finally finished the Game Boy. The one he told you about? It works perfect now!”

Splinter laid still.

“We all took turns playing Tetris. Donnie was really good at it.” He snorted under his breath. “We had to keep Raph from throwing it when he got mad. He wasn't that great at it…”

Silence.

“Mikey drew some really pretty designs on the back with the markers we found! They're all swirly and stuff.”

Again, silence.

“I thought you might want a go? I know you said you aren't that good with phones, but I thought…”

Too much silence.

“...Dad?”

Hesitantly, Leo approached his father's bedside. The sheets were laid neatly, just like when he had tucked Splinter in a few days ago.

A cup of water, left for Splinter to drink that day, was undisturbed on his bedside table.

Slowly, Leo lifted his hands to lay them on his father's arm beneath the sheets. He shook Splinter gently, just enough to wake him. He needs to drink, he thought, or he won't get better.

When Splinter's face stayed turned away, Leo started getting frustrated. “Dad, you need to at least look at me.”

Splinter did not turn, nor did he wake.

Leo sighed, then started climbing onto the mattress. Splinter had the nicest bed of all of them, but it was also the springiest, so it took a second for Leo to fully get his balance. Especially when he was trying to fit in the small space between his father and the edge of the bed. However, he was able to settle on his knees and look down at his father.

Splinter's face was lying to the side, and his dark hair was laid about on the pillowcase. He had neglected to cut or even brush it, so it was somewhat knotted at certain points. His eyes were closed softly, and his mouth slightly open.

His chest wasn't moving.

Leo reached over and hovered his hand in front of his father's mouth, checking for a breath.

Nothing.

“Splinter?”

He placed a small hand on Splinter's neck, searching for a pulse.

Nothing.

“Dad?!”

Leo grabbed his father's head with his hands, shaking it gently. Just enough to wake him up.

Splinter did not wake.

----------------------

At first, Donnie wasn't sure of what he heard. He turned the Game Boy in his hands off and lifted his head, seeing if he could find the source.

“What was that for?” Raph huffed, shoving into Donnie's side. Donnie put his hand palm out toward Raph in response, still not turned to look at him.

They sat silently for a moment, then Mikey spoke. “You were doing so-” Donnie covered his mouth to shut him up.

There it was. A sob, a sniffle, coming from elsewhere in the lair.

Leo was crying.

There was no need for words; in an instant, all three brothers were on their feet and getting out of the pit. Donnie was the first one to reach their father's doorframe. There he stopped, halting his brothers behind him.

Leo was curled over Splinter's body, holding it to his chest. With every shaking sob, he would clutch the body closer. Like he was scared to let go.

Donnie turned to face his younger brothers. “G-go back to the pit.”

“What? Why?” Raph spat.

“I said, go b-back to the p-pit.”

“But Leo's crying, and-” Mikey's eyes filled with realization, and he clasped his hands over his mouth as his eyes started to water.

“Go back to the pit!”

“FINE!” Raph hissed, grabbing Mikey's arm to drag him away. “Not like Leo would even want us there anyway.”

“But- But Papa-”

“He doesn't care, Mikey.”

Mikey's tears finally spilled when they were out of Donnie's eyesight. Breathing deeply, he turned to see his big brother in despair.

He approached the bed quietly, knowing that Leo had already heard their argument. Hesitantly, he crawled up onto the springy bed and took a place behind his brother. Leo was clearly trying to stop crying, now that he had a brother to be strong for.

Silently, Donnie reached under the covers to find Splinter's wrist, if only to confirm what he knew to be true.

Something in him screamed to leave- to run away. Maybe he could find some way to fix this. But the better part of him knew that the best thing- no, the only thing he could do was work to fix what was left.

So he scooted closer and wrapped his arms around his shaking brother, letting his weight ground him. Then, he let himself break.

Leo broke the silence.

“I don't know what to do, Donnie.”

He finally lifted his head and turned, letting Donnie see his reddened eyes just a bit. He couldn't look straight at his little brother.

Donnie inhaled deeply and hugged Leo tighter.

“You do what you c-can, r-right?”

They sat like that for a while. Leo holding onto the body in the bed, Donnie holding onto him. The shedding of tears wasn't addressed.

Eventually Donnie caught another sound, just barely coming from behind him. A shuffle, and a sniff. Weight fell onto the bed. It could be mistaken for one, but Donnie knew it was two. Raph's face, soaking wet, appeared to Donnie's right before flopping onto Leo's shell.

Mikey came up on his left, crawling up further. Donnie tried to grab the lip of his shell, but the smaller shook it off easily. He laid himself down right next to their father, grabbing his face and holding their foreheads together.

“Its okay Papa,” Mikey whispered, as Leo rested a hand on his shell. “W-we're here now…”

Leo's breath hitched, but he grabbed Mikey and pulled him closer. Raph leaned deeper in the space between Donnie and Leo, and Donnie took that as a reason to wrap his arm around the turtle. The only one that could bare to look at their father now was Mikey, though it was through a curtain of tears.

The hiccups and sobs started to fade. Four little turtles laid there and wept, soaking in what warmth their father had left before it all melted away.

As all things must.

----------------------

Hehehe

Again, these aren't my characters!! They belong to @probably-not-a-rutabaga 's awesome TMNT iteration, abberation! This fic is also just my take on how the turtles could have found out about Splinter's passing. That I wrote like, so fast-

I promise I don't just write sad stuff like this, but I just got inspired and couldn't control it. So, this is the first thing on my tumblr writing portfolio. My iteration (still unnamed, sadly) is more psychological introspective nonsense and spookiness with a sprinkling of sad, which is more my usual writing style! And still in the works,,

So in summary, check out tmnt: aberration, and thanks for reading this sad fic that actually made me tear up writing it! hahahhhaha

[kurlyfrasier]

Terrified: Part 4

Raph x Reader

Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why. 

Word Count: 1708

Warnings: None

I woke up later than intended- much later, as in waking in the afternoon later- red-eyed and weary from the tears shed the night before. I had decided, once I had calmed down enough to think beyond losing the boys- most especially Raph- that tonight would be my last movie night. At least, for a while. I also planned on telling them they need not walk me home after work. Granted, I had no idea how I planned on convincing them that they weren’t needed. 

Maybe I could tell them I’m moving? Getting a new job?

I sighed, looking into the mirror. If tonight was going to be my last night seeing Ra- them, then I would make the most of it. I decided I would look my best, without looking desperate...hopefully. Sadly, this meant I did not get to start my new book since l only had about an hour until Mikey would be here to pick me up. Yet another reason to stop burdening the boys. Regretting the fact that I wouldn’t get to wear pajamas like I usually do on movie nights, I trudged to my closet.

A little over an hour later Mikey found me in the middle of brushing just a tad bit of make-up on; to cover up my red-rimmed eyes. 

“Whoa angelcakes,” he drawled once I stepped out of the bathroom, eyeing my long, fitted sweater dress- because it gets cold in the lair- and warm leggings with comfortable Chuck Taylors. 

See? Not desperate. Comfy.

“Raph is gonna lov-” He stopped himself short when I gave him a quizzical look. “I mean, you look hot, dudette. Got any plans tonight?” he wiggled, what one would call, his eyebrows, erupting a giggle out of me. 

“Only to hang out with my besties, that’s all,” I shrugged, grabbing my phone, hoping he wouldn’t comment about my not-so-usual outfit once we got to the lair. I really did not want it made more obvious than it already is.

“Sounds like the best plan, but are you sure you don’t wanna bring pj’s for after?”

“I’m sure, Mikey,” I smiled reassuringly up at him as he plucked me up out of the window and onto the roof. “These are just as comfortable as pajamas, promise.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” he helped me onto his shell. “Can’t wait to beat you in a new racing game I got,” he hopped from roof to roof, holding me tight. I couldn’t help but compare his smaller, bulky size to Raph. I don’t think I would have been able to hold on to his shell quite as well.

“You’re on, man. But don’t come crying to me when you lose.”

He barked out a laugh and we stayed silent until we got to the man-hole cover.

“Hey, angelcakes,” Mikey started sheepishly when we got to the bottom of the ladder, scratching the back of his neck. “I wanted to ask…”

“Yeah?” I gave him an encouraging smile.

“Did somethin’ spook you last night?” He blurted out.

“No,” I furrowed my brows, confused about where this is coming from. Unless…

“Raph said you were running for your life after you got off the subway. I just wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

“Oh,” I tried thinking of an excuse, averting my gaze. “I just didn’t want to be a burden, is all.”

Not a complete lie.

“A burden?” He looked shocked as I turned toward their home and started walking that way, hoping to hide my despondency. “You’re not a burden, angelcakes! Besides, before that night in the alley, Raph was already-”

I stopped in my tracks as Mikey sauntered ahead.

“I mean, we like making sure you're okay. We don’t want a repeat of that night we first met,” he continued rambling, but I wasn’t listening. I wanted to know what he was gonna say about Raph. After a few steps he realized I wasn’t next to him anymore. “Come on, Y/n. Don’t want ya to get lost.”

I nodded, unwilling to ask my question as we continued our trek to the lair. I took a deep, calming breath to brace myself before entering the living room area where I knew Splinter, the wonderful father that he is, would be prepping for homemade pizza. Donnie had made an old brick oven not long ago and built it directly underneath a grate above that they only opened when baking pizza so the smoke would have an escape. I found it ingenious because now they could have pizza whenever they wanted. Which was always. A small smile formed at the thought.

Not five steps in and Raph blocked my path, arms crossed as he assessed me for injuries. I stared straight into his chest, unable to meet his all-seeing gaze. He would know something was wrong the moment we made eye contact, he always did.

“Bro, she’s fiiiine,” Mikey sang, lightly punching Raph’s shoulder as he walked by. “I would never let anything happen to her. She is my precious sister, after all.”

Raph ignored him, grunting in approval with a curt nod before walking away. Allowing me to breathe again, not realizing I had held my breath in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~

Raph was anxious to see you. He had been attempting to work it off all day, to no avail. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw you, standing in front of him, looking small, keeping your thoughts to yourself. 

He growled in frustration, clenching his hands into fists. If only he knew what had you so utterly shattered last night.

He needed to see you.

He needed to know you were safe.

Raph breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard you and Mikey coming, but stopped short when he saw what you were wearing. Vaguely, he wondered where you had come from to be looking so good. That red sweater stuck to your form as if it was painted on. It may have covered almost every inch of skin from your thighs up, but it hardly left room for the imagination. Thos leggings did the same.

Where were your baggy pj’s?

Robotically, he blocked your path to determine if you had been hurt. Really though, it was all a ruse. He just wanted to have a good look at you. He crossed his arms over his chest to keep himself from holding you close. The fact that you wouldn’t meet his gaze had his blood running cold. You always at least gave him a tentative glance and a smile. Next to him, Mikey said something about you being his precious sister, but all he could think was that you were his precious everything. He didn’t even feel his brother’s light punch as he walked by.

He grunted as if saying “that’ll do” and walked away, wishing he knew what was wrong. Wishing he could make it all better.

“I’m gonna go help Donnie with something before we play, okay Mikey?” You spoke barely above a whisper before heading to Donnie’s lab. 

The moment you were out of sight he rounded on Mikey. “So wha’ didya find out?” he growled in in his face.

“Nothin’, bro!” Mikey held his hands up in surrender, backing away. “She said something like not wanting to be a burden. I don’t know. She was kinda quiet though. I barely got her to smile.”

“But nothin’ ‘bout wha’ scared her?” he asked low, peeking around to make sure you hadn’t decided to come back.

“Nadda. Just said she didn’t wanna be a burden. I told her she’s not. That we like takin’ her home, but,” he paused when he noticed Raph shaking, stiff as a board. “Uh-oh…”

Raph stomped away toward Donnie’s lab, barely able to comprehend what Mikey was telling him. 

You? A burden?

Never.

He planned on shaking you to your senses until he heard what you were saying to Donnie.

“...gonna take some self-defense classes so you guys don’t have to walk me home anymore. What do you think?”

Raph leaned against the wall, going to a whole new level of low with eavesdropping. He decided it was worth it if he could figure out what was wrong.

“We could teach you,” Donnie offered offhandedly. “Besides, we like taking you home. We can actually have a conversation as we protect you.”

“Nah, you guys are busy as it is,” you paused. “Plus, I don’t want to bother you guys even more.”

“What are you talking about, Y/n?” Something clattered, a sign that you have Donnie’s full attention. “You’re no bother. Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened,” you sighed before continuing quietly. “I just- I might be getting another job-”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that, right?” Donnie chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Is this about last night? I heard you were running from something.”

“Ugh! I wanted to get home faster! That’s all,” you fumed, stomping a foot, demanding why the boys kept asking you about last night.

“We’re worried, Y/n,” Donnie stated calmly. “You spend a lot of time with us. That could make you a target. Especially if anyone figures out how much you mean to Ra- uh… us.”

“Fine,” you seethed. “I’ll stop hanging out with you guys, then. That way nobody will have to worry about my safety.”

Donnie’s call for you fell on deaf ears as Raph snuck into the darkened room across from the lab, your steps echoed down the hall. He sunk low in the shadows and held his head close to his knees, eyes shut tight in a sad attempt to keep the tears from flowing freely. He couldn’t breathe. His heart felt as though it were being shattered into a million pieces.

You were leaving? The thought ricocheted through his brain.

What had happened to bring this about? Everything was fine until last night.

Maybe someone got to you already? The thought had his blood boiling. Allowed him to breathe. He had a purpose; to find out what happened in the ten minutes you were on the subway. He was determined to keep you close. Keep you safe. No matter the cost. Even if he had to lock you in his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5

[boneswriteswords]

The angsty idea about the reader over hearing how their turtle is attaracted to April is soooo sooo sooo good! If you take requests and it wouldn't be too much of a burden, could I request that for Mikey?!??

A/N: I finally got around to doing this. I’m not 100% happy with it but I’m never 100% happy with anything I write so whatever. Lol

Its also unbeta’d like all my other stuff. 

Enjoy.

Its almost 2500 words of angst tho so you might not.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, the unexpected rush ofpain tasted like tinfoil, razorblade sharp on your tongue.

It had been a good day, the world bathed in shades of paleyellow. You were working at a job that you loved and that paid well. You had paidoff one of your student loans in full, dramatically decreasing your debt. Yoursupervisor had surprised you with donuts and an extra week of paid vacation as a thank-you for all the extra hours you put in tohelp her finish a major product. You got to pet three dogs. You were even ableto make progress in your language lesson.

It had been a good day.

‘And it’s about to get better,’ you had thought as you madeyour way down one of the tunnels the turtles used when they were going topside.You had been so excited to see your boyfriend.

Mikey is everything you could ever want. He brought youbalance, helped you find and maintain a peace in yourself that you hadn’trealized was missing until he came along. He was adventure where you werecaution. He was vibrant where you were subtle. He was affectionate where youwere reserved. He kept you secure, in yourself and in your life and never madefun of you for the way you experienced the world.

He is the golden glow that scatters over the city as the sunsets, bouncing off the high windows and reflecting off the glass. You had neverthought you’d be loved so intensely by another person before him.

At least, you had thought he loved you.

Now, you weren’t so sure.

Not after this.

Not after you had heard him say that he desired April. Thathe’d drop to her feet and serenade her on her obvious beauty, her wit, herlaugh and her smile. That his dramatic declarations of affection extended toher in a room you had thought was only for you and him.

But he wouldn’t.

Because he had you.

And he wouldn’t do that to you.

Lurking just behind the entry way, you felt your body breakdown and put itself together again. Cells combusted and reformed. Synapsesfired in all different directions, unsure of what to process and where to sendwhat. Pink turned to purple turned to grey. Shaky legs managed to keep youupright but only just.

Fuck.

It had been too good to be true.

Tears slipped out without meaning to. You quickly wiped themaway and breathed, contemplating turning around and walking away beforediscarding that idea. They were expecting you. They would come looking for youif you didn’t show up, expecting the worst.

You’d have to tell him what you heard. You’d have to hear itagain but this time, it would be to your face.

A coldness blanketed you like anill-fitting suit. A new skin molded from copper and stitched with the smell ofsulfur. A safety net to catch all the little broken pieces of yourself as youchip and crack under the pressure.  

You took another deep breath and walked into the lair,greeting everyone with a big smile stretched painfully across your cheeks. Yourstomach lurched. It felt wrong.

“Baby! You’re here!” Mikey exclaimed, leaping over furniturewith his usual brand of puppy-like excitement. Normally, you’d be flattered athis attentions, the way that he disregards obstacles in his path to get to you.No one had ever been that excited to see you before.

But you weren’t this time. It felt like an exaggeration, anovercompensation. It smelt like sickness.

When he reached you, you let him pull you close and kissyou.

It tasted like a lie, black and gritty. Bile gathered in theback of your throat and you swallowed to keep it down as he pulled away,concern written in the furrow of his brow.

“You okay angel? Something the matter?” he asked softly,stepping away to rub his hands down your arms before pulling you close again.He pressed his beak to the side of your face, leaving little pecking kisses ashe did. Despite the close proximity, his warmth felt distant, a ghost of atouch on your skin.

“I just had a rough day Mikey,” you muttered back, givinghim a small smile. You pulled his face away from yours, reaching a hand tostroke the scaled skin of his cheek, lips quirking as he nuzzled into yourtouch. He still smelt like summer and electricity and you were relieved thatsomething remained the same. “I’ll be okay.”

He never pushed when you didn’t want to talk and you weregrateful for it. He knew that you needed to process things bit by bit beforeyou could talk about them, especially if they were stressful oroverwhelming.  

“Anything we can do to help?” Leo asked, his voice silver,like moonlight that bounces off water in the dark.

You shook your head no, “It was just a bad day. Happens tous all. I’ll be fine. It wasn’t all bad. I met someone with beautiful colorstoday.”

“Is that so Angelcakes?” Mikey asked, a playful grin on hisface as he picked you up, “Were the colors prettier than mine?” He nuzzled hisface into your neck, a big smile on his face as you looped your legs around himas much as you could.

“Um…”

Raph snorted from his perch on the couch, “Don’t ask herthat. She doesn’t have the heart to tell you your colors are ugly as shit.”

Mikey gasped dramatically, clutching you further to hischest, “You take that back! My colors are beautiful. You’re just mad cuz yourtexture is puke! Isn’t that right baby? Raph is the texture of puke and smellof crusty unwashed ball sacs.”

An argument about colors and numbers and textures ensuedbetween the brothers, Leo and Donnie joining in when attempts to stop it wheremet with mean comments about their own visual representations, giving you areprieve from their concerned stares. You climbed off Mikey while he wasotherwise distracted and sat next to Splinter on his meditation mat, foldingyour legs under you.

“Are you alright my dear?” Splinter whispered, eyes focusedon his sons. His hand grasped one of yours, giving it a little squeeze and yourealized two things. Splinter had been paying attention to his sons’conversation and he knew your ‘bad day’ had everything to do with it.

“Not really Master Splinter.” Lips twitched into a sadlittle grin as you squeezed his hand back. “Not right now.”

Before he could say anything else, you were ripped off themat and back into strong green arms, pressed flat against a wide, muscledplastron. Mikey’s face beamed down at you, the tang on your tongue gettingstronger the longer you looked at him.

“Tell them angel. Tell them my colors are beautiful,” he breathed,all golden light and reflective shimmer and the breaths right before you blowon a dandelion.

You swallowed thickly, voice dropping to a whisper “Yeah.I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

If circumstances were different, you would have believedthat he had actually swooned, knees locking to keep you both upright. Youwould have believed the sheer force of emotion that appeared on his face wasreal and that he loved you the way you loved him. You would have believed thatnothing could ever be wrong between you and him, that you had found the love ofyour life.  

But you didn’t.

“Oh come on! Of course she’s gonna say that. She loves ya!”Raph argued, hands thrown up in your direction, “I want a new judge!”

Another argument broke out but instead of letting you go,Mikey kept you close so you laid your head on his shoulder, closedyour eyes, and counted down the minutes until you could go home.

—–

You didn’t know what to do so you stayed late at your office everynight under the guise of being overloaded at work to figure it out.  You knew you were feeling insecure, lumpy andchunky and off-white, and you knew you could bring it up and actually talk toMikey about it and he would understand.

But you also couldn’t. You didn’t want to break up with him.He was the only one who didn’t think you were weird when you said musicsometimes felt like there were guitars strings tied on your spine and someone’splaying them, the melodies vibrating through every bone in your body. Or whenyou said Raph’s laughter smelt like cinnamon. Or when you baked lemon squaresbecause Donnie asked you to describe his voice.

You didn’t want to break up but you couldn’t visualize aconversation that didn’t end up in a break-up.

You didn’t want to lose him but you had to considerthat….maybe it was inevitable.

Maybe he wasn’t yours anymore.

Maybe, the deep dark purple part of you whispered, he wasn’teven yours to begin with. Who’s to say that you were the one he picked insteadof just being the one who said yes.

The razor sharp tang was heavy on your tongue.

———–

April took you out for coffee the Saturday morning afteryour week long escape. Despite the circumstances, she was one of your favoritepeople, all vanilla scented lipgloss and pink silk with flashes of lighteningbugs behind it. Incredibly beautiful to look at and be around.

You couldn’t hate her.

“So, how are things? I haven’t seen you in a week,” shesaid, smile sweet as she poked her straw through her latte. She was dressed inher signature yellow jacket and a basic tank top with her hair up in a messybun but still somehow looked put together. She was always put together.

You recalled wearing a similar outfit a few days ago.Shopping was something you and April liked to do together because your styleswere similar. You liked a lot of the same things, especially when it came tofabric textures, so the two of you often went perusing in the other’s closetwhen looking to put a new look together.

The dark purple part of you reminded you that she was theone Mikey really loved, that he asked you out because you dressed similar,walked similar, had similar interests, did similar things in your free time.Always similar. Not quite but good enough.

“Pretty good,” you responded, only a partial lie, “I love my job. The people are great. The clients are great. I’m never bored. It’sfantastic.”

“Good. I’m glad. You deserve to have a good workplace,” shetook a sip of her latte, “Mikey mentioned that you had a bad day last week butyou didn’t say what it was about. Are you ok?”

You took a sip of your own drink, a new holiday drink thecoffee shop was promoting and immediately decided it tasted too puce for yourliking.

“Yeah. I was just overwhelmed. I had met a lot of new peopleand it was bit overwhelming,” you shrugged, hoping that your lie wasbelievable. You gestured to your outfit, an old sweatpants and hoodie, “I may notlook it but I feel better.”

She nodded sympathetically, smile widening, and you couldsee how Mikey fell in love with her, “Well, I’m glad you feel better. Does thatmean you’re coming to movie night tonight?”

Fuck.

You forgot about movie night.

“Of course I am.”

Double fuck.

“Great! Mikey will be so excited. He misses you so much.”

“I miss him too.”

——-

April was already at the lair when you dropped in, some oddnumber of hours later, arriving a tad too late for it to be normal. April hadwalked you back to your apartment before heading to work after coffee, ramblingabout what had happened that week as far as Foot activity and crimes thathappened in the area while you thought about what to do about this entiresituation.

You had changed quickly into an over-sized shirt and adifferent pair of sweatpants, not really bothering to put an outfit together.There was no reason for you to put an effort into looking nice. You didn’t wantto look like April.

Distance. You needed to put a tangible, aesthetic distancebetween you and April. No wearing the same clothes. No styling the same way. Nodoing makeup like she does. No connection between you and her.

You weren’t surprised to see Mikey wrapped up inconversation with her, sitting as close as he does when he sits with you,breathing her air the same way he breathes yours but it still fucking hurt.

He looked so happy to be in her space, loud and boisterousand excited.

You knew what you had to do.

“Hey Mikey,” you whispered, trying to catch his attentionwithout seeming too rude for interrupting, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”  

“Baby! When did youget here? You’re late! Why are you late? You’re never late! Are you ok? Did youget hurt on the way here? Was it Foot ninja? Cuz I thought we cleared them outof the area but if not and they hurt you, they’re gonna pay. I swear angelcakes–“ you cut him off, the influx of questions causing your chest to tighten.

“Too much Mikey.”

His mouth snapped shut and he pulled you out of the room asyou ran through one of your breathing exercises, muttering the colors in theFibonacci sequence. He was watching you closely, his stupidly blue eyes floodedwith regret and locked on your face as you made your way through the firstfifteen numbers.

“I’m sorry honey,” he mouthed as you slowed in yourcounting, breathing a bit easier and steady.

Calmer, you met his gaze and for a moment, you thought aboutthe world you experienced with him. All the new colors and sensations andtextures. The things you had never felt before and how they explodedbeautifully inside you. You had never known that love tasted like coconut orthe sensation of looking forward to seeing someone was a splattering of rainbowcolors across a white background.

“What’s up baby? What’s wrong?”

You wondered if you’d ever experience those things again.

“Its over Mikey.”

The words tasted grey, shadows over paper.

——

There you have it. Angst. Poorly written angst. I’m sorry. 

Also let me know what you thought of the reader I used.