#i thought people were only going to say cq this is Awesome

[cquackity]

on c!wilbur :D

thank you. he is so fuckingspecial to me

[diealittleeachday]

He hasn’t had much to do with me for 12 hours. I got upset because he left me outside a store like a stray dog. Not allowed to come join him inside and no keys to sit in the car or get a mask. He knew I was joining him. He knew I’d need a mask and he knew I couldn’t enter the store without one. I texted and texted again. I had him paged. I checked the car, the store next door, the bathroom next door, behind the store next door (the last place I’d seen him) and again checked the car, as well as call and text again. Nothing. He’s gone at least 15 while I’m left to wonder if he’s died somewhere. Then he comes out of the store, yells at me, hands me the keys and goes back in inside without another word. I go to the car and sit and wait alone until he gets in wordlessly with his books and we drive off in silence. A silence that will last the better part of at least 24 hours.

Wow. Great Daddy. But why am I surprised? He’s always been horrible to me as a husband and horrible to our kids as a dad...why would I expect any more from him as my Daddy? He tells me I should trust him and rely on him and he’s upset that I’ve never really needed him. Thank God I’m a capable person but he has to decide. Am I supposed to count on him, or not. He can’t have it both ways. He said he’d be my Daddy and take care of me. But he made it three days as my Daddy. THREE DAYS!

He’s been her’s for a year and she couldn’t be happier. Speaking of which he flat out told me he has a “great fucking time” with her. But I frustrate him. He told me she smells better, tastes better and is more fun than being with me. With her it’s nothing but roses and sunshine. With me it angry and yelling and hitting and silent treatment and frustration. He says he wants to be with me but the things he continues to do with her and refuses me says otherwise.

Did I mention he hasn’t cum with me the last two times we were together? But she’s so awesome he fucks her, cums and fucks her again. They have shower sex, meanwhile I cry thinking about how many times he’s done that with her compared to ZERO in the last year with me. In the last month, I could name so many times he hasn’t cum, lost his erection or didn’t even want to touch me (and let’s not talk about oral!). No matter if he has 10 minutes in her or six hours, he always gets off with her. And he drives 2-3 hours to do so while I sit at home and be treated like second (or third or fourth) best.

Three days. That’s as long as he could take it with me. But after a year, he’s still going strong with her (and after three years he’d jump at the chance for that other one...and same for any of his other repeats no matter how long). He said he might not be able to do that well for super long as my Daddy but jeeze three days. He’s spent more time that on a trip with Mindy. Why the *fuck* would the person with the lower sex drive be the one who spends six hours in a hotel room with someone else while the “higher sex drive” spouse gets ignored? Why?! I’ll tell you why, because just like before when he lied to me for years saying that he “never thought about sex”, the truth was he never thought about sex with ME. And now it’s the same thing all over again. He doesn’t have a sex drive with me, only with her. Just like he told me he didn’t like doing oral. He just doesn’t like doing it with ME. Also, he’s not bothered with four other women because he’s satisfied with her. But he’s not satisfied with me, as he continues to spend hours with her despite the toll it takes on me. (You tell me who he loves and who he tolerates.)

He even had the audacity to talk about how he’d help any lady friend even if they didn’t have a sexual relationship. I sent him a list of four things he could do to help me during a very stressful time and a week and a half later, I was having to do the things myself in order to throw him a birthday party. He did one thing half way! And two weeks later, he still hasn’t done the stuff.

He insists it’s all in my head and then turns around and admits how she’s better and he prefers her and how he’ll never give me the effort he give her. How on earth is someone who has given her life to someone supposed to just take it and be happy while he enthusiastically gives to her and ignores my requests. This is why I left him a year ago. And there have been a lot of days that I wish I would not have come back.

I’m supposed to put myself first but that’s a little hard to do as long as I’m married to someone who would rather give his time to someone else...anyone else not under the same roof. If he stopped the LS, he still wouldn’t appreciate me. I mean if he doesn’t appreciate everything I’ve been doing for him for 36 years, 25 years, 5 years, 3 years...he’ll never stop taking me for granted. And his treatment of me is never going to get better no matter how much he likes to make himself look good in front of other people.

Every excuse, he gives to me, I solve and he just comes up with another. We are at home instead of a hotel, so I get a hotel. The kids will hear, so I get a room across the resort. We don’t have time, so we go on vacation. He doesn’t remember, so I remind him. He doesn’t know, so I tell him. I make him think I want something else, so I’m very clear and specific. I don’t need him, so I become his sub, his CQ, his BabyGirl. He doesn’t like the hair, so I wax. He doesn’t like the taste, so I clean and only direct him there when I feel fresh.

She’s so enthusiastic, and yet that’s what I’ve been every day for over five years even after 36 years together, most of it being pretty shitty. He need to pee, so I make sure he starts there. He wants to finger me so I offer that. It’s a bad angle, the beds not right, he doesn’t have traction, there’s other people around, someone will see. He even told me he didn’t want bathroom sex even though I suggested it for years. But she wants it and boom! Add in elevator play and what other conclusion can I draw except that he’s just not that into me and she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him.

I know the facts...and all the gaslighting, excuses and abuse in the world doesn’t change that.

[fromtheground39-blog]

The All-ROG Gaming PC!

Recently we checked out the three cheapest 144 Hertz gaming monitors that we could get on amazon.com and we were pretty impressed well mostly, except for one common problem that they all had they're all running out by modern standards, lower 1920 by 1080 resolution. So today we've got something new for you guys. We'Ve actually never covered a product from AOC before, but this the CQ 27 G 127 stood out to us for a number of reasons, one its 144 Hertz, which means theoretically, it should be great for gaming too. It'S running at 2560 by 1440 resolution 3. It'S got a V a rather than a TN panel and four it comes in at just 280 US dollars. We couldn't find anything else that has this feature set at this price point. So we've got high expectations and hopefully they don't disappoint us instantly, see your current and past network activity detect malware and block badly behaving apps on your PC or Android device with glassware use, offer code Lynas to get 25 % off glass wire at the link routerhosting in The video description, [ Music ] - I'm actually pretty excited about this, because we've had a ton of requests to cover AOC in the past, but the main reason that we haven't done it is that ever since the CRT days, their presence in North America has been fairly Limited so I've been aware that they're kind of a big deal over in Europe - and I believe Asia, but over here they've, had basically very little availability and certainly no marketing. So I don't really know what to expect, because even from other media outlets, I haven't like read a ton of reviews of their products or anything like that. First, impressions of the stand are pretty good. It'S got a nice metal base under fairly tastefully if a touch gamer II top to list assembly is always a nice touch. Honestly, I got ta, say initial impressions, pretty positive, so far height adjustable stand. I mean to be clear. This is not like a 140 dollar gaming monitor or anything like the ones we looked at last time, but considering how much higher their costs would be to get this better panel technology, it's a larger display. Ah, I am I'm pretty pleased so far with the overall fit and finish now. I can't say that this is a perfect job that they've done of the the plastic housing here. You can actually see some of the tape that they've used. To probably put the see this unit in the back here that houses, the power supply and the scaler you know, and all that stuff you can see some of the tape that used to it like tape it on, but in terms of the like. The overall feel of it it doesn't feel cheap, it doesn't feel crappy and we've got a reasonably fun, exceptional i/o. So there's no built-in USB hub, but you've got dual HDMI ports, DisplayPort a headphone, jack and power supply built into the monitor, rather than as an external brick, which some people care about. It'S not a huge deal for me, but it is considered a a better feature. All right, the two lessness continues here and we're just gonna peel. This off bezels are looking pretty slim actually, and this is nice, not just power, cable included, but also DisplayPort and HDMI. So in terms of adjustability, we've got your tilt. We'Ve got your swivel no pivot, but we do have height adjust. I still remember when that used to be like site a super premium feature. Now, it's only really cheap stuff that it's not included on. It'S really. Nice makes a big difference immediately. The deep blacks on this monitor are quite noticeable compared to if we were looking at like an entry-level, IPS or especially a TN like, as this wallpaper fades off towards the edges. It'S it's quite dark, not bad. At all. All right, 144 Hertz fuckin showed up just fine there, yes, and because this is a variable refresh rate monitor. That means that, even if it is not certified g-sync compatible, we can enable G sync, and it is in fact enabled right now. So without further ado, I don't fire up. Some games now feels like a good time to have a look at the on-screen menu. Everything here is reasonably intuitive. Personally, I prefer just an instant switch rather than animation. I can see how they might do that right frame. What even am I looking at here? Can you see anything? Let'S see? Oh, what the crap? Oh, what it just brightens the top corner of the screen. So it's like a faded out washed out section in the top-left corner, so there you can change the brightness contrast. You can move the position of it around. Actually you can put it wherever you want guys. Let me know in the comments. What is this feature for? I would love to know. I thought that was interesting. Game mode is off by default. Oh that's! The FPS mode! That looks terrible, okay hold on a second, let's get, let's get our settings adjusted here I have to say I have just never understood these weird color profiles that they create for particular genres of games. The correct color profile is the accurate color profile, because that's the way that the developer intended it quite frankly at least they've got customizable ones. So you can have gamer one gamer, two gamer three, and then you can just things that might actually be meaningful, like whether you want the low blue light mode on. So you have like nighttime gaming mode, whether you want the built in frame counter on. That'S pretty nice to have so their gamer display modes are not necessarily useless. Just the canned ones are stupid. Okay, overdrive can be adjusted to weak, medium or strong. Medium is usually the best bet there, but we'll play around with that. A little bit and low input lag we will leave on. I will say that there's no discernable increase in input lag compared to what I'd expect from a 144. It'S gaming monitor, so that's nice to see really responsive. I touch on the smeary side, so these are not the fastest pixels that I've ever seen by a long shot. If you pick up a like a decent TN gaming monitor - or you know, even one of those really high-end IPS - is that LG released recently you're gonna see better readability of things like text as you're as you're. Moving around like this, you see that everything's got kind of a trail behind it, but for a VA panel. I would consider this perfectly reasonable and acceptable. Now. One thing that's hard for me to tell right now, because I'm playing kind of a dark and gloomy game is whether this gets any brighter. So what I'd like to do is get rid of doom, let's switch to something like csgo and see. If my impressions here are correct, cuz, it seems like our maximum brightness, I mean even just opening up something. Like you know, our own website here by the way tech tip song is awesome forum. You guys should go check it out. This is supposed to be pretty much white white and it's kind of a gray and not like we're at a very, very low brightness. Even actually, the brightness is cranked 100 % already actually before we do that. I wanted to play around with the overdrive settings. A little bit off is clearly terrible, like you guys, I'm sure you can see these comet trails behind icons, as I'm dragging this around on the desktop here, but as usual, strong also yields a really kind of over sharpened, visual artifact e-type look and our best bet Does once again appear to be medium overdrive in fairness. White to dark is a very challenging scenario, so let's actually get that game fired up now. So this is a little bit more fair, and it's not great and coming out here into the the daytime. Arabic, freaking Sun here I've been informed from off camera. This is a 215 it peak brightness display and I believe it because, while the blacks are deep - and that was impressive - it's a lot less impressive to have deep blacks. When your monitor is just dark. I mean maybe this would be the monitor for you if you're trying to game at night and be stealthy and while you're at it, you could grab a hoodie like the one, I'm wearing it's the LTTE, stealth hoodie LTT surakameth. Now, to give credit to the strength of this monitor, the 1440p resolution does look a lot clearer than what we were dealing with with those 1080p monitors, but something that you guys have got to consider is that there is more to perceived sharpness of an image than Just the number of pixels and contrast is actually a big part of what makes an image look, clear and sharp and crisp so yeah. The lines are fine, but the image doesn't look great, so it just feels like the monitors a little self-defeating, because it's key feature is that it manages 144 Hertz and higher resolution, but it gives up so much contrast that you a lot of the perceived image, quality And that's not a problem just for like scenic games, it's it's a problem in general like it's noticeably bland. This is a bland looking game in the first place, but it's really bland. Like. Can you tell on camera how bland this is new it nope hold on? I think what we need to do is grab another monitor and swap it out for you guys so David hold, as still as you can, or even put the camera on sticks, but the camera on sticks. Now this monitor costs about twice as much, and actually you might have noticed that, especially in terms of brightness, it looks pretty similar except funny story. This is actually the monitor that we use for b-roll shots, so it has its brightness turned down to 20 out of a hundred in order to make it appear not too bright for certain shots that we do so putting it up at something more reasonable, like around 80 Wow - that is a really really different experience back to our AOC. The difference is very clear and I'm just gonna double-check. Yes, we are at a hundred percent brightness. On this thing, that's a little unfortunate. This looks a little bit more palatable official site right. I think that's why all the gamer modes have this game. Color option turned up because it might hurt the accuracy of your color, but it'll certainly make your games as long as you don't go too far like their fps and their RTS modes. It'Ll certainly make your game look a little bit more vibrant. You can see I've overdone it a little bit here. So I'd probably say that if it's purely for gaming use, knowing that you're giving up some of the color accuracy that you might have gotten in the native profile, going to a game color of somewhere in the 11 to 13 range, improves the playability a lot like It makes it not look like I'm looking at a super cheap. You know washed out, monitor and what's interesting, you saw how that flashbang wasn't even bright. What'S interesting is part of the reason, for that is that the way that humans perceive brightness is affected by the saturation of the color, so looking at a more saturated color makes you think that your looking at something brighter, even though the panel itself is not particularly Bright and if we were to alt-tab out of the game, you can see things like my icons look way overdone here. So this is a monitor that you're definitely giving something up at the price point. But if you're willing to fidget around with your on screen menu, which to their credit, is quite usable, actually has workarounds that work if you're willing to go around them so bringing our 8020 7qd back up on the table. This is a clearly better display. It looks great not only in games when you adjust this dial or on the desktop if you adjust it the other way, but in both all the time, thanks to its 10 bit IPS panel and it's much higher brightness. But if you think find here about it as paying yourself, two hundred and fifty dollars to adjust a knob every once in a while, I still think there's a very compelling value argument to be made for a OCS display here. Even if it does give up some of the creature comforts that you might get with a higher-end panel, so guys, let us know, does this look like a great option or do you want us to explore some of the other 1440p 144 Hertz monitors on the market? They are a bit more expensive, but there's options from vo-tech Roxul dell has one that's fair, bit more expensive and make sure you're subscribed. So you don't miss it. If you do leave a comment about that, do you need to create a beautiful website without the hassle we'll check out Squarespace their all-in-one platform makes it easy to get up and running quickly, and there are word winning templates can be used as a starting point for A wide variety of projects, if you're having trouble Squarespace, they offer webinars a full series of help guides and you can even contact their customer support via live chat and email 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you already have a third-party domain, you don't have to give it up. Just transfer it over to Squarespace and every Squarespace site includes ecommerce features. So you can easily sell merch or services online and manage your inventory and orders so go to Squarespace, comm /l tt. To get 10 % off your first purchase we're gonna have that linked below. So thanks for watching guys - and we will see you in our next budget - monitor video - which I guess we're kind of coming now - hey budget OLED. But you know that we've done all the we'll find something