#i thought it would be funny and instead i spent 15 minutes using every ounce of control i had to not deliver 500 words of scathing criticism

[ikebanaka]

Just read a fic where the whole hotel gang basically sat around eating popcorn and waiting to watch Alastor and Lucifer to kiss because they were magically trapped under mistletoe, and it made me wish 'bullying' was a widely accepted tag for 'ignoring your friend's discomfort and everything they say in order to make fun of them because you think their discomfort is funny'

Because then I could filter that shit out and not have to walk blindly into fics that trigger me.

And I do genuinely mean trigger; situations like this immediately make me incandescently angry without exception. The very idea that people think making fun of people for being uncomfortable with their boundaries being violated is funny is enough to make me start throwing shit when I'm alone, and remove myself from company immediately when I'm not.

If I were Alastor in this situation? With people that claim to like me watching me be forced to humiliate myself and acting like it's the funniest thing ever, waiting for new expressions of discomfort to make fun of? I would've started by telling Angel that every nasty thing he thought about himself was true, and ended by making sure everyone went to sleep that night feeling sick and hollow inside. I would've told them that for every minute they spent watching me stuck there I would personally remove a tooth from Husk's head with a rusty pair of pliers later that night, and if there weren't enough teeth I'd just start over once they grew back. I'd make sure everyone who thought it was funny never felt good about themselves for more than a minute inside the hotel without me cutting them back down to size.

Some people are okay with being treated like that I guess, I just wish that that didn't come at the expense of convincing people that it's not bullying. Because at no point in this fic was I convinced that it wasn't bullying and that Alastor didn't mind; he very explicitly did mind and was deeply uncomfortable.

Bullying is not actually inherently funny, so if your target isn't laughing too or otherwise playing along, then you're not being funny, you're being a piece of shit. And even if you are being funny... tag it anyways.

[iheartmalec]

Burning With Desire

Read it on ao3

Alec sighed as he glanced at the time, realizing that he would either have to leave the rest of his work until tomorrow or miss date night with Magnus. While the two frequently spent their evenings together, going on dates that occurred outside the loft’s walls were getting to be more of an uncommon feat. When they were both free, they did their best to make a plan and keep it, but more often than not something popped up in their busy schedules. Admittedly, Alec couldn’t quite remember the last time he and Magnus had gone on a date. Deciding to leave his work for future Alec to deal with, he grabbed his coat and made his way out of the Institute.

New York in October looked like a pumpkin had thrown up everywhere. Halloween decorations lined every store window, every hotel lobby covered in a strange array of orange and black. While Alec himself didn’t mind Halloween, regardless if the night meant more demon activity than usual, New York outdid itself.

The autumn air carried a chill that didn’t quite bite yet; instead, it felt like a promise for future freezing winds. Doing up his jacket, Alec made his way to the subway, intent on getting home and seeing Magnus. He could always ask his boyfriend to make him a portal, but sometimes he didn’t mind mundane transportation. Most people thought he was crazy for it, but it was Alec’s way of seeing New Yorkers up close and personal; taking the subway made Alec feel more like a part of the city.

When he finally arrived home- he wasn’t exactly sure when he has started calling the loft home, but he knew it if felt a million times more welcoming than the Institute ever had- Magnus was lounging on the couch. Toeing off his boots, Alec looked to his boyfriend and froze, because oh wow, Magnus had worn that. This particular outfit hugged and defined Magnus' body in the best way possible, making Alec’s hand itch to feel the lithe muscles beneath that he knew so well. Black jeans, a red and gold woven shirt, and of course makeup, jewelry and spiked hair to match perfectly. One look at Magnus' smirk, and it became very obvious he knew exactly what he was doing to Alec.

“Hello, Alexander. How was work?” Magnus asked coyly as Alec made his way across the room. Magnus stood for a kiss that lasted much too short in Alec’s opinion; he would have been very content to kiss Magnus forever.

“Good. It was, uh, good.” Alec managed as they pulled apart, his eyes raking over Magnus' body. If he kept this up, they might miss their date anyways. But again, Alec remembered how long it had been since they had had the time to go out, and instinctively he took a step backward. Putting some space between himself and Magnus, he forced himself to look into Magnus' eyes. “I’ll go get ready, then we can leave?” Alec asked, trying and failing to keep the dopey grin off his face.

“Sounds great, darling. I’ll just be here, waiting” Magnus sighed, throwing himself back onto the couch in a very seductive manner. Up until now, Alec wasn’t even aware that there was a seductive way to fall onto a couch. Every ounce of Alec’s self-restraint was used at that moment, and somehow he managed to walk away from his boyfriend.

Alec managed to get ready in record speed, choosing a relaxed long sleeve top and jeans he knew Magnus liked. Two can play this game, he thought to himself. He made his way back to the living room, not missing the look of lust Magnus threw him. Flashing Magnus the most innocent smile he could muster, Alec asked: “Are you ready?”

“Let's go, dear. It’s been too long since we went out.” Magnus said, tugging Alec out the door after handing him his jacket.

While Magnus could have portaled them straight to the restaurant, their reservation wasn’t for 15 minutes, and Alec was more than happy to hold Magnus' hand all the way there. He had a feeling Magnus felt the same from the way he interlaced their fingers together with a grip that suggested he wasn’t willing to let go any time soon.

The restaurant they were trying out was new and was relatively close to the loft. While Alec had heard Izzy had been saying they had been to every restaurant in New York, it was a bit of an overstatement simply because of how many new restaurants that were always opening. She wasn’t very far off however; he and Magnus had managed to get around to quite a few places, both in and outside of New York.

They arrived at the restaurant hand in hand, and 5 minutes early. Judging from the line up outside, the place was already popular, and Alec felt a sense of pride for being the one to suggest it. Alec let Magnus lead him through the doors and up to the hostess as he eyed the large waiting area full of more mundanes.

“Name for the reservation?”

“Bane,” Magnus said, squeezing Alec’s hand. “Easy there, Alexander,” Magnus whispered to him as the hostess led them to their table. Alec instantly relaxed, and only then did he realize that he had tensed. On autopilot, Alec had morphed into his Shadowhunter mode; he had been scanning the restaurant the way he would on a mission. The place was busy and full of unguarded mundanes, making it a demon’s wet dream.

“Sorry, it’s a habit.” Alec murmured back, smiling at Magnus as they sat.

“Let’s just enjoy ourselves tonight. The Head of the New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn’s issues can wait until tomorrow, tonight it’s just us. It’s been far too long since we’ve been out, darling. I’m afraid we might be getting boring!” Magnus said, grinning as Alec reached out to take his hand again.

“Magnus,” Alec said, waiting until his boyfriend was looking at him to continue. “There’s no world where being with you is boring.” Magnus blushed at the comment, bringing Alec’s hand to place a kiss there. It was little things like this that made Alec fall impossibly more in love with the man in front of him; just when he thought he had reached his limit, Magnus did something to prove himself wrong.

The rest of their meal was spent catching up; they were both so busy that date nights usually meant telling funny anecdotes that hadn’t had time to be discussed before. Before either of them knew it, they had eaten a delicious dinner and shared a mouth-watering chocolate lava cake for dessert. After the bill had been paid, they made their way back into New York’s chill evening.

“I really enjoyed dinner, Mags,” Alec said, pulling Magnus towards him. “I missed date night.”

“Me too, darling. You up for drinks?” Magnus asked, a faint smile ghosting his lips.

“With you? I’m up for anything.” Alec grinned, leaning down for a light kiss that promised much more later. When they drew away, Magnus had a familiar glint in his eye.

“I think it’s high time we figure out who the best pool player really is,” Magnus smirked, pulling Alec into an alleyway to conjure up a portal.

The portal brought them to the Hunters Moon, where they grabbed drinks and made their way to their regular pool table. The game started like it always did; lighthearted and purely for fun. However, not even halfway through did the air become charged with their competitive spirits, and soon the games were very serious.

“Nice shot, Alexander,” Magnus said, leaning to take his own. At the angle he was standing, Alec had a nice view of his ass, and those jeans really did nothing but accentuate Magnus’ behind. Magnus straightened up a moment later, winking at Alec showing him he had been caught. Grinning sheepishly, Alec leaned in for a quick kiss.

At least, it was supposed to be quick. He wasn’t sure how, but the kiss deepened, but suddenly it was full of lust and passion, making Alec’s head spin when they finally pulled away.

“Oh no you don’t, I won’t let you distract me from winning like that!” Magnus said, panting slightly as he licked his lips.

“You mean from losing? Because last time I checked, I was winning.” Alec said cheekily, bending to take his shot, purposely brushing Magnus as he did so.

“Hmm, we’ll see about that, pretty boy. Let’s see who breaks first, shall we?” Magnus said, smirking as he flagged a bartender down for a refill.

“Let’s. I have an infinite amount of self-restraint.” Alec flirted back, liking already where this was going.

“I agree, you do. But never when it comes to me.” Magnus said, winking to prove his point.

10 minutes later, Alec was surprised it was Magnus who finally broke, mostly because he wasn’t expecting to have lasted this long himself. Magnus had his fingers around Alec's wrist and was dragging him out of the Hunters Moon, magicking cash to Maia and sending her a wink on their way out.

Magnus didn’t stop moving until he had led them out of the bar, and down a side alley nearby. The second he let go of Alec, he was pushing him into the brick wall and kissing him wildly.

Gasping, Alec immediately responded, pulling Magnus impossibly closer and deepening the kiss. He let his fingers travel over Magnus; squeezing his toned biceps, running down his back, and digging his fingers into Magnus' sides. Opening Magnus' mouth with his tongue, Alec felt the kiss grow explosive, feeling a sense of want so strong it made him dizzy. Magnus ran his tongue along the inside of Alec’s mouth as he tangled his fingers in Alec’s hair and pulled, drawing a whimper out of Alec. He shifted his body so he was pressed more firmly against Magnus, Magnus letting out a groan which Alec eagerly swallowed up. The brick digging into Alec’s back bordered on painful, but he didn’t care, not when Magnus' body was caging him there. More, Alec needed more, pulling Magnus' shirt up and dragging his fingernails down his back, Alec distantly wondered if they would go all the way here. It wouldn’t be the first time.

In a flash, Magnus had flipped them so Alec was the one pressing Magnus into the wall of the alley. Magnus moved his mouth down to Alec’s neck, paying special attention to his deflect rune, something he knew drove Alec crazy. Alec felt his knees grow a little weaker as Magnus sucked a mark on Alec’s neck.

Alec almost had Magnus' shirt completely off by the time Magnus pulled away, breathing heavily. “Darling, while I would love to stay here, I think we should finish this back at the Loft. We’ve already had so many complaints from Hunter’s Moon customers about this exact scenario, it would be a shame if we were banned from here.” Magnus said, pulling his shirt down. Alec took a moment to appreciate the way Magnus' swollen lips moved, the way his pupils were blown wide out of desire.

“God, I love you,” Alec said, and while it didn’t address Magnus' earlier statement, Magnus smiled a wide, beautiful smile. Alec felt like he could drown in the desire pooling in his gut and never be happier. “Let's go home,” Alec said, grinning back at Magnus.

Conjuring up a portal, Magnus immediately pulled Alec’s body back against his, and they both went stumbling back, falling onto their couch where they couldn’t be disturbed.

[alitheamateur]

The Grind-Chapter 15

He escorted me through the tinted glass doors into the predicted booming music filled bar room, people packed from wall to wall, over to a tall tabletop nestled in the corner. Very gentlemanly, he pulled out the empty chair to offer my seat.

“Alright, Liv Elliott, can I get you a drink? What’s your poison?”

“Thanks, uh, I’ll just have a beer, please.” I answered, quivering with slight nerves. He maneuvered his way through the crowd headed in the direction of the bartender, while I waited fretfully alone with my thoughts. He seemed to be nice enough, and clearly easy on the eyes, so much so that my agonizingly neglected sex life was taxing me towards the direction of just sleeping with the man tonight for the hopeful intent of an orgasm.  But, he wasn’t my Colton. My emotionally confused, tormented, asshole Colton.

Snap out of it, woman. The guy dumped you. Very cruelly so. MOVE ON.

Drinks in tow, Luke two-stepped and squeezed through the crowd, making his way back to me.

“A beer for the lady,” he served with a wink. But it wasn’t the same wink that so long ago made me weak. It wasn’t like.. don’t say it, you pathetic fool. “You look stunning in the neon lights, you know?”

Dear God, please be joking with that line, man. He let loose a smothered laugh. Sweet relief. He wasn’t serious.

“Thanks, I think?” I accepted the cheesy, sarcastic compliment. “Tia mentioned you were a personal trainer. That must keep you pretty busy.”

“I do my fair share of push-ups, I guess, yeah. But I enjoy it, honestly. Especially when my clients see the results their looking for. It’ all worth it then, ya’ know?” Okay Luke, so you’re kind, and not a total airheaded muscle bag. Noted.

“Yeah, I’m sure the downtown housewives have a fit over you, huh?” I winked. “Ha ha ha, very funny. I’ll have you know I have several house dads on my clientele list as well, thank you.” He chimed matter of factly. “But, enough of me for now. I need to hear all about the glamourous, successful, posh life of the rising journalist, Liv Elliott.”

Wow. What load of shit had Tia been feeding this poor fellow? “Not much to know, sadly. I’m a bit of a workaholic these days. I was recently promoted at the newspaper I work for, which has definitely added to my work load.” I tapped my index finger on the dampened bar napkin beneath my sweating brown bottle. It did sound a bit tragic when I heard myself say it aloud. I was a soon to be 23 year old single woman, living in a bumbling metropolis, no children, no heavy responsibility other than a steady job which most of the time felt more like a paying hobby than an actual career, and I spent the vast majority of my life tucked away at my desk, or in my lonesome apartment with my nose tucked into my computer. Aside from the occurrences when Tia would suggest dinner, or the occasional appearance at a newly opened nightclub, which I was strangely enough beginning to enjoy a bit.

“Nothing wrong with dedication in my book! I admire that you take what you do seriously. And the fact that you’re a complete knockout just adds to the allure.” Luke said with eyes zeroed into my own.  Swallowing the last swig of my drink, a pang of guilt flinched in my belly. I was genuinely enjoying the banter of small talk the evening had consisted of thus far, but the feelings didn’t go much deeper than that. Not to say necessarily I wanted to be there with Colton instead, because every ounce of remaining conscience within me advised otherwise. I felt it wasn’t wise to be out without anyone yet, considering the state I was in. After returning from the short visit back to Indiana, sure my emotional state was frequenting more on the border of happiness, and almost contentment rather than the doom & gloom of before. But, I was far, far from ready to dive into the dating pool again. The proven dangerous, unruly, painful dating pool. My heart not quite nursed back to it’s original state, and ready to open up to the next Pittsburgh man. Regardless of how purely genuine and handsome that man may be. Luke didn’t deserve to be trampled on, and strung about by an unstable mess of a woman living in a never-ending state of confusion.

“Oh gosh, Luke. Thank you, really.” I tucked a curled strand of hair behind my reddening ear. “Can I be super honest with you right now? At the risk of sounding like a total heartless wench…”

His look narrowed behind stringy eyelashes, and he leaned in. “Uh, sure? Yeah. Shoot.”

Flashes of  what I imagined would’ve likely been a stable, routine, safe and steady relationship with the confused man across from me sparked through my thoughts. All the attributes any sane woman would hunt out in a partner, yet all the things to me that seemed, dull and tedious.

“You have been nothing short of a total charmer since our introduction tonight. And I-” I began before Luke interjected with a cautious smile, and knowing nod.

“Ohhhh, I think I know where this is headed.”

“Any woman, I mean literally any woman, including my clearly stupid self, would be lucky to be in your company. Which is why, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror again if I carried this far enough to let you get hurt.” My saliva thick with nerves and what I hoped wasn’t regret as I let my date down as easily, and earnestly as I knew how. “You have no idea how bad I sincerely wish I could slap the ignorant decision I’m about to make right out of me… But, I’m just not ready, ya’ know? I’m kind of a pile of wreckage at the moment, and you don’t deserve to have to glue it all back together.”

He bobbed his head lazily and relaxed back into his chair. “As much as I don’t like it, I understand it. Tia kinda informed me that you were still reeling a little from your last relationship. But, since you were honest, can I be the same with you?” He asked politely.

“God, of course. Please!”

He pursed his mouth seriously before beginning. “The loser who did whatever he did to screw you over so badly, is a mindless asshole, who is apparently blind as well. I’ve spent all of a couple hours with you Liv, and even I can see what kind of woman you are. So, don’t sell yourself short, okay? Whether you give him another chance, or someone else who comes along, make sure he deserves you. And hell, by the way Tia talked you up, she might make her own play at you before it’s over.” I laughed at his response, especially his dig at my proud bi-sexual friend, who never hesitated to playfully suggest I take a walk with her on the other side of the sexuality fence.

As the conversation came to a close, Luke took my hand into his, and ushered me kindly to my car outside. I kissed him tenderly on the cheek before he reached down to open the handle of my door.

“If you think it’ll keep Tia off your back, I could always tell her our night ended at your place with hours of relentless love making, if you want.” I puckered my mouth in sincere contemplation of his suggested lie, but considered it be best for both our reputations if we kept it honest.

“As tempting as that little strategy of yours sounds, I think I better just suck it up and take the scolding from her. But thanks for lookin’ out for me.” A thoughtful smile slid onto his lips as he closed to door after I slid into the seat, before he jogged carefully across the crosswalk.

 Following my date with Luke the night before, Tia had texted begging to meet up for brunch at a place closely located between the center of our apartments. I groaned at the backlash I’d no doubt have to suffer at her hand after I spilled the details of how things had played out with her set up. She’d arrived at the restaurant before me, and was seated at an umbrella covered, mosaic table on the front patio, already sipping leisurely on a mimosa. When she saw me approaching, she raised her hands to a cheerful clap, obvious that she hadn’t spoken to Luke yet. Or maybe, talking to Luke was exactly why she was so unreserved with her merriment towards me. Had he decided to go ahead with his salacious fictional story about what had happened a few hours ago between us?

“I ordered you a drink. Now sit, and spill, LC!” She’d decided that would be her given name for me, given my middle name was Caroline.

“Hello to you, Miss Nosey. Whatever happened to not kissing and telling?” I was giving it my all to avoid crashing her excitement.

“Don’t you dare! I need to hear everything!” She gasped with an exasperated eye roll.

When the waitress came back to our table, delivering my fluted glass and jotting down our order, I was thankful for the 3 extra minutes I had that allowed to me to escape her insistent questioning.

“Alright, but when I start talking, you have to swear you won’t interrupt. Just let me say my piece, okay?” I arched a pinky at her in expecting hers to return in a swear.

“I already don’t like what I’m hearing, ma’am….” She sighed between sips.

“He’s like, beautiful. Like Tom Cruise in Top Gun kind of beautiful. And he was so damn polite, Tia.  The perfect gentleman. But, not in a stuffy way, ya’ know?”

“Yes, Liv. I do know. Which is exactly why I wanted you to go out with him to begin with. Go on…” She cocked an obvious displeased brow at me.

“And trust me 100% when I tell you that after I spent some time with him, I really, really tried, Tia. I wanted something to spark, I wanted to feel that little flutter in my belly around him,” I stressed in a contrite tone. “And I know if it had been any other normal, remotely rational female, that it would’ve happened that way…” Before I finished my plea, I downed the hefty remains of my mimosa hoping for an extra ounce of liquid courage. “I’m just n… not ready, I don’t think. I mean, I feel a million pounds lighter than I did 6 months ago, definitely. But, I don’t feel quite ready to move forward with dating anyone just yet.” I ended my thought, hoping there was a sliver of her that would understand where I was coming from. “Do you hate me?”

She huffed dramatically. “Oh fuck, Liv. Stop it! You  know I don’t hate you. Its your life, and I’d never encourage you to do something you don’t feel up to. And, just because I know you’re driving yourself crazy with it, I just want you to know its okay to still love him. Colton, I mean.” I halted any movement as her words registered to me. Breathing included. “I know you despise him for what he did, and rightfully so. The shithead deserves it. But, it’s okay to love him, too. Don’t beat yourself up over that. Love is this stupid, weird, jolting roller-coaster that makes no sense. And whoever you strap into that seat with, whether it be Luke, or Colton, or some rando you haven’t even met yet, it’ll be right. You’re smart, LC. Trust yourself. And if you happen to strap in with someone who turns out to be a vicious psychopath, then I’ll be in the seat right behind you to throw the dude over the side, alright?”

The girl was a God send. I was so unbelievably thankful for my dangerously loyal friend. Something that now made my life somewhat whole. Almost as whole as the veggie omelet I inhaled, after a side order of cheese grits, of course.

“You’re the best. Like, the best of the best, you know that?” I complemented.

She shrugged daftly, smearing cream cheese heavily over her blueberry bagel. “You don’t deserve me, Elliott. What are your plans today?”

I hadn’t thought much about an agenda for today past the brunch with Tia, but I’m sure it’d consist of something along the lines of a yoga session in the living room, maybe a little research for the next match I had to cover, and lastly spending way too much time pruning in a bubble bath.

“Nothing as of yet. Where are you headed? Work today?” I supposed.

“No, I actually have the day off so I’m gonna head over to the Temple for an extra workout.” Tia was referring to Temple Fitness, the gym close by where she was a member.

“Do you have anything coming up? Like, fights, I mean?” She was still striving to get her feet wet in the world of fighting, so competitors weren’t exactly banging her door down with opportunities.

“Not yet, damn it. But my trainer keeps me in shape at all times, just in case something comes along,” she informed me.

Then, a strange glimmer lit inside her blue irises. “As a matter of fact, why don’t you come down with me? When’s the last time you put a workout in, you delicate little pansy?”

As much as I didn’t appreciate her brutal sarcasm, she was actually right. Not to discredit the wonders of hot yoga, but I hadn’t actually had my heart rate elevated in, well, nearly a year. With Colt out of the picture, I’d lost my running partner. Who was also my bedroom partner, which had been my definite first choice in the cardio department.

“Hey, I resent that remark, thank you very much! No matter how accurate it may be. I’d just be in the way though, Tia. You’re training, and I’d just be, standing around.” I laughed off her suggestion.

“There’s plenty of equipment, you bimbo. Ellipticals, treadmills, a pool. Plenty of things to keep you busy, and get your saggy little tush in shape,” Tia winked. “Or, the fancy MMA columnist could maybe do a little training herself to see what a day in the life of her subject is really like.”

I was instantly intrigued at the bold proposal. I’d gotten to sit the sidelines on everything Colton underwent in the days leading up to his match, but nothing remotely close to suffering it firsthand. We’d learned in school that there was no better way to “know” than to “do.”  I would truly have the insiders point of view if I dabbled around with all that entailed in the life of a mixed martial artist, along with that added bonus of gaining what I very much lacked in muscle mass. Not to mention, the education of a bit of self-defense, which wasn’t a bad idea now that I no longer had my own personal body guard to escort me through the ruthless streets of the city. Damn, Tia and her endless ideas that sent my boxed zone of comfort crumbing around me.

“God, I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this. Is there anything you can’t talk me into? Like, it’s getting ridiculous. Stop forcing me to be all, spontaneous and what not.” I spat sarcastically at her.

“Well, I haven’t talked you into bed yet, my oh easily persuaded friend. I’ve spared you,” Tia gawked foolishly across the table. I can only imagine the pink cloud of mortification overcasting my gaping jaw.

What crazy plan had she wrangled me into? My hesitant agreeance already a hard to swallow regret. But, she couldn’t drag me into too much trouble with just a bit of exercise, right?

tags: @torialeysha @eap1935