#i thought and prayed for her everyday i really hoped she'd be alive

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

I am so sorry and sad to have woken up to this news, Hind's body was found alongside the two medics who went to rescue her, after 12 days.

Hind was killed. And Israel continues its crimes without consequences.

[asfixiafloral]

She's been staring at his unmoving expression for so long, there seems to be a battle inside his head, he had averted his eyes a while ago to stare at the floor. "You didn't ruin my life..." A slight frown appeared on her face, "Even when back then when I was pursuing you, I never once stopped and thought to myself... 'Oh, he ruined my life!' I was set out to kill you... thinking it was the right thing to do, I was angry and confused. I couldn't pull the trigger, at the end all I wanted was answers, all I wanted was to see you again" Even as she explained herself, Johan remained unmoved. It made her afraid that perhaps he wouldn't be able to promise her anything. That perhaps, this might be the las time she gets to see him. A life without him sounds incredibly empty, imaginary scenes of the future flood her mind. She'd go back to the law firm, follow her everyday routine. Solve high profile cases, buy herself a house, a car. Be one of the best lawyers Germany has to offer. But, she'll wonder every day where her brother is, pray that he's safe and alive, and not rotting away somewhere in an alley, or living out the rest of his years in complete isolation. Daydreaming about reuniting with him again. And if they don't, she will set out to find him. she'll look for him again and again. But, what if she never sees him again? The thought terrifies her.

She sighs softly, the drug is not letting her properly stress out, her body still remains fully relaxed, even with all these thoughts running around her mind. Anna distracts herself from her pwn suffocating thoughts by studying his face, and then it... just happens in an instant. His expression softens, his eyes do so as well. Something changed, he decided on something and she can tell. His body doesn't feel as tense and it fills her chest with hope and relief. But he still refuses to speak up, like he doesn't know what to say, or perhaps he's thinking of what to ask her now. It was his turn after all. But he just looks so incredibly soft to her right now, his beautiful eyes, half lidded and his flushed cheeks. Her heart starts to race again, this time her pulse is so fast she can hear it. She wants to kiss him. There's nothing stopping her right now. Would he push her away? Would he be disgusted? Would he allow it but never speak of it again? Would he dismiss her? Would he-

She didn't have time to entertain all of those questions, nor to think about the consequences because se at that moment, she simply didn't care. Anna moved now, with her hands still holding his face with trembling fingers. She brought his face closer to her slowly, giving him time to move away if he so wished. And then, she pressed her soft lips against his. If it was possible to die from a kiss, then she would've because her heart felt like it bursted right inside her ribcage at that moment. She didn't want to waste too much time by being shocked so she forced her lips to move, giving him soft repetitive kisses, pouring all her love into each peck. She's not an experienced kisser of course, she's never really kissed anybody before. She's given her friend cheek kisses but that doesn't count at all.

After a few moments, she gives him one last kiss before breaking away, pushing his face away gently, setting him free of the hold he had on his face. Her hands now rest on the floor. She knows her entire face must be bright red because she feels so hot, she knows she's sweating a bit too. She looks away, she doesn't want to see the look on his face, whatever face his making, she doesn't want to face him out of pure embarrassment. Anna lets out a small chuckle to hide her feelings, "There... now we're even..." She's obviously talking about the kiss Johan gave her so many years ago, she hopes he gets it. She also hopes she didn't scare him away with this. She'll deal with all the consequences in the morning.

@theartifxce

asfixiafloral​:​

She hasn’t seen his face in a while, he’s been suffocating in the crook of her neck for god knows how long. His eyes are red from all the crying, his entire face is flushed and he’s sweating, his hair is tousled and there’s some of it sticking to his forehead due to sweating. Her heart speeds up at the sight. Anna wonders if she looks the same to him. Johan smiles at her, his voice playful, a little rough too, “Oh… you’re right, i’m sorry” A little chuckle leaves her lips, but her small smile disappears along his. It will always amaze her how quickly the emotion in his face can vanish.

So her suspicion was right, he did it all for her. Seeing him so defeated was extremely overwhelming. His confession, his gentle fingers wiping her tears away left her breathless. Anna took his face in her hands, cupping his cheeks gently “But what about you? What about your chance at a happy normal life?” It was a clear protest, “You sacrificed so much for me… endured hell just to guarantee my safety…” She uses her thumb to affectionally caress his soft skin, “I’m not mad… I can’t put into words h-how… I feel right now, I’m sorry…” She sighs softly, losing herself in his eyes “I would’ve done the same for you… you know?” Anna tucks some of his hair behind his ear and offers him a small smile, “I want… you to have a chance a happy life from now on…” Her voice is incredibly soft, as velvety as his, a perfect imitation “I want to give that to you… I want to help you… you deserve a goodnight’s sleep, warm meals, a home, love…” Her heart starts to race even faster now. He’s so close, she’s been guiding his face closer to hers without noticing. Her fingers start to tremble, Anna can feel his warm breath on her mouth “I won’t leave you… never again… so, don’t leave me… promise me”

‘I want to kiss him’

The thought almost shocks her, but it doesn’t. Her mind and body feel so free right now, the poison is helping her be completely honest with herself. She’s thought about this before, but would always push the thought away in remorse and shame, but now she’s able to fully embrace the possibility of just leaning in and giving him a small kiss. He’s right here, trapped in her arms, he’s not going anywhere any time soon. Anna would like to hear his response first before she tries anything.

“Please… stay with me forever, yes?” She knows she sounds like a child, that she’s being very persistent right now but she doesn’t care, “Johan… say something…”

@theartifxce

☓  —- | Her generous words wore him down. He was a monster – but he wasn’t the type that was unaware of what he was doing. At his core, he knew what he was doing was wrong – the blood all over his hands. That is why he told Nina that night at Ruhenheim when she delivered her forgiveness upon him; “It’s too too late. There are things I can’t ever take back. “Johan was always aware – the terrifying truth was that he just did not care. What was right or wrong did not matter as long as it meant Nina would be safe. 

What was morality to a man who only sought death?

Yet to hear her parade such hope before him…it hurt. It made him wish he could wash away his sins. But the pebble had been casted upon the lake of blood and its ripples were infinite and endless.  “Do you really believe I deserve a happy, normal life Nina?” He finally spoke, his tone unusually warm and soft as he lifted his gaze to hers once more. “I’ve destroyed your life twice now…” he felt them – the threatening tears of his buried emotions forming upon his waterline. 

To hear her promise him she would never leave him destroyed what little of his walls he had left. It was the one thing he desperately wanted to hear; a wish he thought was reality until she rejected him at the hospital. He never thought he could lose her; he never thought he could get caught. Johan’s eyes looked down to the floor beside her head as if his strength could be found there. He tensed his eyes, grimacing at the thoughts entering his mind. It was like a plague; the whispers within his ear; warning him that him remaining at her side would only bring her to ruin. But how could he cruelly deny her pleas, especially when it was all he wanted?

Before her, he was the child that had always been trapped inside of his matured body. HE detested that boy for so long; the one who was always crying, always yearning. Yet, it seemed right now, he had won.

@asfixiafloral​