#i thoroughly enjoyed this episode and left a comment saying as much

[cringefaecompilation]

even as a doyrm enthusiast I am not confident they're gonna make it. cause even if they do make it out alive and figure out the fey deal..... the squall looms and unless cyrus somehow resurrects and comes out with a steel chair....... bronte waits. I'm thinking it'll be more bittersweet than anything

thank you for misspelling the ship name because i feel like it'd be rude to put this in the tag, even if it is mostly positive and more of a character study.

i've been thinking a lot on how to answer this ask and waiting until robbie's fireside and episode 117. since both members of the ship are alive and well for the time being, i think i can answer this solidly now.

both of these are characters i like and i think they have a very believable chemistry, even if some parts of it are a little rockier than i'd prefer (orym never apologized for his comment about cyrus and the whole caleb thing), i still enjoy that robbie and liam went out of their way to slowly develop it when dorian returned rather than having them confess instantly despite the ship being so widely loved. but there is one thing about both of them that is bugging me and makes me nervous about them starting a relationship.

yes, dorian has the squall to deal with and they might raise an eyebrow at him falling in love with someone who isn't one of them, but that is nothing compared to how deeply hurt he is about losing his brother. i cannot stress how much it's been a fucking week since cyrus died. and yes, even if he does then get put at the head of the squall or has to return to deal with the aftermath of what they'll do on the moon, he still has the guilt of the crownkeepers failing on his head.

as for orym, his deal can go one of two ways:

morri considers that he held up their bargain because they did all return from the moon with fcg as armor, and she does not consider fcg a living creature (which might just piss off ashton so hard he'd strangle her into changing her mind), so he is now her slave.

he literally went up to her and told her he failed because fcg died. she KNOWS he failed. no way in fucking hell she is not punishing him for reneging with a violent shrub-related death.

if/when that gets solved, hey, uh, orym? buddy? they don't have to put anything on the backburner anymore for The Greater Good. you're going to have to sit with the reality that you assumed your life mattered so little you could just sell yourself into slavery and they wouldn't care if you left. or that you accepted punishment so thoroughly and didn't assume they'd give a damn about you dying either. and the rest of bh (SPECIFICALLY FEARNE) is going to have some words about that, let alone dorian.

and even before that, what about orym in the aftermath? i've seen a lot of people dunk on orym saying his pain is objectively less than everyone else's and it happened so long ago, but like... it keeps getting retriggered every time he interacts with the bad guys. it's why i don't want him to kill ludinus because then after that fucker's dead then what? he's been so tunnel-visioned on killing him no matter what i think he'd fall into a coma upon realizing his goal is fulfilled and nothing's changed. there's still unrest and an apocalypse to avert even when the elf's a puddle of salsa on the ground.

a party of compartmentalization enjoyers is fun to watch as they break down their walls, but i worry it might not end well. not even in a "they start to hate each other and break up" way, but in a "they both realize they're in way worse places than they thought and they'll have to see if they can work through it or not or if they're even both emotionally equipped to handle a romance right now."

and i think they CAN make it work! after all, he did say they could see if it could. but if robbie and liam decide that in the aftermath, they'll just decide to be friends or maybe have an open or on/off relationship, i will not be upset.

[rinshiroufan]

An Analysis of Two Different (Yet Complementary) Endings: UBW in the VN and the Anime; and What They Mean

So I recently finished my re-watch of Ufotable’s unjustly maligned 2014-15 adaptation of Fate/stay night’s Unlimited Blade Works route; I thoroughly enjoyed myself, which wasn’t shocking at all—Rin/Shirou is only my favourite fictional relationship (not just romantic, but any kind of relationship). It did however induce to more thoroughly and exhaustively compare the anime original conclusion to the two’s story with the original ending as presented in the VN, if only because I suspect that a careful reading of the nuances of the characterization of both will yield some very fruitful results. It might seem a bit paradoxical at first, but I’ve come to find these two scenes while seen incredibly fondly by most Shirin shippers are in fact quite underappreciated—because there’s just so brilliant and intricate in the subtle ways in which they manage to weave in so much depth and substance into exceedingly simple and seemingly plain plot developments. They are insanely thematically rich, and people often are left far too dazzled and enchanted by the magic of the superficial writing that they miss the genius hidden beneath the surface.

We’ll start off with the comparatively simpler part of the analysis: the original conclusion to Rin and Shirou’s story.

The Ending in the VN

For the purposes of this analysis, I will be skipping all of the epilogue sans the final classroom scene; the reasoning is quite straightforward and should be readily obvious—most of what is of relevance to this analysis is basically confined solely to Rin and Shirou’s final conversation. This disclaimer might appear to be superfluous to some, but I decided to include solely due to my recognizing an asymmetry in the structure that I chose to employ herein—because the section posterior to this one will have to deal with comprehensively picking apart the entirety of episode 25 of the anime. There was a distinct possibility some readers might find the decision somewhat puzzling, so I think it would be no great harm to tell people what precisely they are getting into, though I consider the content itself will be perfectly sufficient in providing people with an understanding of the thought process behind it. So without further ado, let’s finally begin.

The crux of the conversation between Rin and Shirou that caps off UBW is her invitation to him to tag along with her to London as she goes to continue her training in becoming a proper magus—and Shirou’s reaction to her doing so. I will now post all of Shirou’s key internal monologues relating to the matter during his initial contemplation of the matter, omitting all of Rin’s elaborative comment interspersed throughout Shirou’s thoughts for comedic effect, in order to allow us to better understand what precisely the story is trying to communicate here.

She speaks casually, but I'm sure it's an amazing thing. …But London, huh? …That's certainly too far away. My father wasn't in the Magic Association. I'm just like him, and I don't like formal stuff.

[...]

…But I might be able to move there. I can start working more, study English, save up traveling and living expenses, and find a job over there…

[...]

No, no, let's say I am able to rent an apartment there. I don't know what kind of a place the Clock Tower is, but I'm sure Tohsaka will get even busier. …Then it should be better for me to go there after I become a proper magus by myself. Yeah, that sounds good. First of all, London isn't suited for me. I bet I'll faint if I go there and if it's filled with people like Kotomine———

It is at this point that Rin finally notices Shirou has wandered off in his thoughts and thus not paying attention to her—subsequently presenting what amounts to an ultimatum to him. But before we go into that, let us more carefully and studiously parse what we have been presented with here: a dialectic. A dialectic meant to represent Shirou’s inner conflict—an exceedingly minor and trifling conflict, no doubt!—between his ideological aversion and distaste for formal magecraft and the sorts of individuals drawn to it, and his curious desire to nonetheless follow Rin wherever she goes. For literary effect, the text chooses not to immediately explicitly reveal what might be behind this willingness to nonetheless move to London despite his misgiving, but anyone who has been paying even the tiniest bit of attention can easily deduce what might be the cause. Nevertheless, the story firmly establishes a key piece of information going forward—Shirou is not fond of the Mage’s Association. He would certainly not choose to associate himself with them of his own volition.

But now that we have the set-up, we are almost immediately greeted with the pay-off—the previously posted CG of Rin’s brilliant visage in an adorable hunched over position and adorned with a radiant, loving smile, accompanied by the following text: 

"So, what will you do, Shirou?" She asks me gently, with eyes that see through me. "——————" My face turns red. Her words and expression blow away my humility and my dislike of the Magic Association. …This is what I mean by Tohsaka holding my weakness. I can't help it if I fell in love with her.

“Oh, why go silent now? I haven’t heard your answer yet.“

She keeps smiling mischievously. She knows what my answer is, but she's mercilessly attacking me. "Uh… I, um…" To be honest, London is too far away, but I can't imagine myself being taught by anyone other than Tohsaka. And I never even thought about parting with her. Most of all, I want to be with Tohsaka. "Be clear, this is important. Will you still come with me, even if it's as my assistant?" She looks up into my eyes. She looks so attractive that I feel like my heart will pop out of my mouth. "S-Shut up, you idiot…! You idiot, idiot, idiot! I-I-If it's so important, tell me about it in a more appropriate place! I can't answer you when it's so sudden…!!!"

I don’t know what’ll happen to me if I keep staring at her, so I look away. ...I still feel Tohsaka’s presence.

She’s happily watching my reaction.

"Hey, Shirou. What's your answer?" She murmurs gently. ………She's got me beat. Is it this hard to nod and reply honestly? "………" But I can't turn around unless I say it to her.

"……You idiot. Don't ask me such an obvious question." I meet Tohsaka's gaze and tell her my honest opinion. Her smile broadens at those words.

“And I never even thought about parting with her. Most of all, I want to be with Tohsaka.” That’s the key portion here. The internal tug of war between Shirou’s deep-seated hatred for the common amoral magi and the stifling environment of Clock Tower on the one hand, and his unbridled love for and admiration of Rin is decisively and unquestionably resolved in Rin’s favour. It was barely even a contest. Returning to previously discussed dialectic, it is noteworthy how Shirou considers moving to London at a later time than Rin so that he wouldn’t represent a burden for a Rin less likely to be able to spend precious time with him. Hell—the guy already starts making plans about how he’s going to move there without her even inviting him or expressing that she wants him to go with her! He’s so lovestruck that the mere mention of her moving to London has his immediately making preparations so that he can be with her. It’s odd to think that Shirou could possibly find some way to work more than he already does, but that’s not stopping him. Shirou’s internal back and forth weighing his options, contrasting his reservations towards moving to London with his obvious preparedness to go there for Rin’s sake, is presented as barely even really being a proper conflict; the outcome was determined from the very start. There was simply no other way this could have been resolved—Shirou wants to be with his Tohsaka.

But why is this the conclusion to UBW? Why precisely was it so important to finish the route like this, with this particular scenario, with this particular character dynamic? It might seem like this is just the logical conclusion to how the story should be: it’s hardly in-character for Rin, someone who is portrayed as someone who loves magecraft and finds it fun, to not eventually go to Clock Tower, given that one of the themes of the route is her and Shirou’s learning to walk their chosen path out of their own love for it and on their own terms; it also helps reaffirm Shirou’s love for her. But how exactly does this help cap off Shirou’s character arc? How does this serve as a fitting conclusion to his character arc taken in its entirety, including his conflict with Archer? The essential element here is Shirou’s invocation of Kiritsugu, prefacing the rest of his comments elaborating on his opposition to the Association; Shirou’s refusal to move to London is symbolically associated with his ideal. The core question of UBW of course is “Will or will not Shirou become just like Archer?” He is after all walking on the same path, headed to the same direction. What makes him so different? This scene is meant to answer that: his love for Rin. The entire scenario is a microcosm of Rin and Shirou’s relationship, showing why he won’t become Archer: he loves Rin more than he wants to pursue his ideal. Of course Shirou wants to become a superhero—but he wants to be with Rin even more.  Shirou will always treasure the precious time he spends with Rin far more than he does his adventuring. Whatever corner of the world he may be in, whatever conflict is afoot, no matter how faraway he may be—he will always find his way back home, the place where he truly belongs: with Rin. The girl who loves him, and whom he loves back.

And I really cannot think of a more fitting poem to end that scene than...

The Ending in the Anime

In episode 25 of the 2014 UBW TV anime adaptation by Ufotable, we finally get to see Rin and Shirou’s life together in London.

It makes for incredible fanservice, to say the least.

He’s giving her a headpat—SHE’S SLEEPING ON HIS SHOULDER!!! Thanks for humouring my pic dump; now, onto the analysis.

Within the confines of the anime, the classroom conversation between Rin and Shirou is quite heavily abridged, positioned very deliberately so that it may be carefully instrumentalized for the specific narrative purposes of the broader narrative of the London epilogue it is situated in. It is in short repurposed. We will have to return to the specifics of that later. For now, let’s begin analyzing how the narrative unfolds.

The epilogue has a three act structure, divided over three in-universe days. The first day acts as the set-up; the second day as the elaboration; and the final day provides us with the conclusion. Now, the first day is mostly fanservice, and this is not without reason: while it lays the foundation for Shirou’s inner conflict that we see unfold over the next two days, it is a mostly laidback story that simply invites us to enjoy Rin and Shirou’s nearly idyllic life in London. It’s a way to frontload almost all of the pure, unadulterated fanservice so as to allow for more narratively relevant elements to be positioned at the very end, which is precision-focused to delivering a fitting conclusion to Emiya Shirou’s arc—which isn’t to say that the latter portions of the story lack fanservice, or that the frontloaded fanservice has no purpose whatsoever; rather, the later fanservice simply has more thematic depth to it. The early fanservice meanwhile serves mostly to establish what Rin and Shirou’s life in London is like; it’s purpose is to establish what is at stake. Many have lamented that Ufotable cut a lot of the elements which were included in Nasu’s original script (most likely rejected due to the Ufotable animation staff’s qualms with having to do another exhausting 45 min episode), but ultimately it was for the better in my estimation; it resulted in far more focus. Instead of wasting time on the total mediocrity of a character that is Luvia, the existing story utilizes her wisely for a specific purpose—to establish just how much Rin has changed over the narrative. I mean, the girl went from freaking out at the suggestion she might be fond of a certain redhead to being so openly enamoured with him that’s she willing to throw down with other girls for flirting with him! The idealized portrayal of Shirou’s new idealized life with the girl he loves is interspersed with discussion of his receiving an invitation to join the Association—and the implications of that. The day ends with Shirou’s mentioning that his heart lies elsewhere; in his pursuit of the ideal.

The next day is fairly laidback as well, but also a bit more... contemplative. Rin and Shirou’s ruminations on the Holy Grail War and what they learned from it during their visit to Glastonbury aren’t exactly directly connected to the central conflict of the narrative, but they nevertheless help portray just how much more mature these characters have gotten, how much they have changed since the events of HGW. It’s important to have Rin portrayed in a much more serious light; after all, the beginning of the episode had her used as comedic relief. Yes, it’s a perfectly fine way to establish just how much Rin truly loves Shirou, but the conclusion to the episode ultimately relies on her being both loving and mature; she’s always been the more intelligent, level-headed and wise of the two, so it stands to reason that it would be quite prudent remind the audience of that as it becomes important once again. Once more, we are treated to a dialectic; the hopelessly in love Rin of the first day meets her antithesis in the wise, contemplative Rin of the second day, ultimately resulting in the synthesis we encounter in the final resolution to the narrative. Having Rin portrayed as being both more mature yet also more fun than Shirou also reinforces just how much more at ease she is at Clock Tower than he is.

On the ride back home, Shirou has a flashback. And we suddenly find ourselves back in Fuyuki, two years prior.

Cute.

Anyway, we return to our repurposed classroom scene.

What exactly is the goal of this scene? Shirou’s monologues, so crucial to the scene in the VN, are wholly excised. We can see Shirou’s blushing like crazy (I can’t blame him...), but we are otherwise left clueless as to his considerations whether or not to follow Rin to London. The thematic relevance of the scene in the VN is gone; no-one, going based solely on the anime, could possibly have realized that this particular scene was meant to be a microcosm of their relationship, showing my Shirou will not become Archer. If anything, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say that the scene is just there to fill in the gaps about what happened in the immediate aftermath of the events of Fifth HGW and act as more Rin/Shirou fanservice. It’s the final episode, so why not just give your audience diabetes ten times over? Just look at it!

God, I’m really sorry if this many images bothers anyone—but I just can’t help it, it’s too cute and amazing.

But yeah... good fanservice. Doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything thematically relevant or important to the characterization our heroes receive, right?

Well...

This... is what the episode is all about.

Shirou doesn’t want to betray Rin.

“Thanks for bringing me with you.“ Shirou is profoundly grateful to Rin for giving him this wonderful opportunity to be with her and spend time with her. He is so very happy to be able to cherish his time with the girl that he loves... but he can’t stay at Clock Tower. Rin is the only reason that he is happy there. He feels uncomfortable with the subject of his future there, too afraid to openly and honestly express his feelings to Rin, because he doesn’t want to break her heart. For all that Shirou has matured, he is still just a young man trying to find his place in the world, confused and scared; scared that he might have to abandon the girl he loves so dearly—scared of what she might say. He doesn’t want to spit all over her effort and hard work, all that she has ever done for him; fundamentally, Shirou’s conflict in this episode is about Rin. It’s about his struggling with the difficulties of maintaining the relationship that he has built with her, and his fears that it might not last. His fears that Rin wouldn’t understand what he’s going through, and reject him for it. And that in doing so... his fate will as Archer will be sealed.

But that’s not what happens. When he is finally forced to explain himself to her, he is surprised to hear that she isn’t mad at all. No, she’s wholly supportive of him! Encouraging, even! In fact... she’s the one reassuring him. Earlier in the narrative, Rin was Shirou’s foil as the down to the earth realist to his wide-eyed, idealism. Rin was the one with the self-esteem issues; Shirou was the one who kept charging at the impossible without a doubt in his mind about his chances of success. The confession was all about Shirou’s providing Rin with the necessary support to get back up due to his holding her in a higher regard than she did herself; to Shirou, she was always the amazing, incredible girl who never quits despite all the things weighing on her back. And now, in a beautiful symmetry... it’s her, the girl who didn’t think she had it in her to strive for the impossible, giving encouragement to him, the boy who never did quit, who now has doubts about his future... to never quit. Because she believes in him, just like he believed in her.

People tend to grievously misunderstand what Rin says in this episode—it’s responsible for like 90% of the stupid takes on this episode and the future of the Rin/Shirou pair. She never claims that she will always follow Shirou around; she quite openly states that she eventually wishes to settle down at Clock Tower, because pursuing magecraft is fun, it’s her dream, and it makes her happy. She just doesn’t think that is necessarily incompatible with her being with Shirou. Just like Shirou had made a temporary sacrifice coming to London to spend time with her, so too will Rin now make a slight detour from her path to accomplishing her dream to support the most precious person in her life. It’s why I find it somewhat regrettable that Shirou’s monologues were removed from the classroom scene; it would have been nice to have it be readily apparent within the show itself without recourse to the VN that there’s a symmetry between Shirou’s going to London with Rin and Rin’s going on adventures with Shirou. I understand the omission, given the excellent execution, but it was nonetheless an imperfection solution; perhaps the only one there was. But I can still lament, can’t I?

Rin and Shirou’s relationship is going to face a lot of issues. It’s not going to be easy. A clash of wants is inevitable. But Rin is willing to make it work. She is going to make it work. For both of their sakes. The beauty of Rin and Shirou’s relationship is in its striving towards an ideal; it can never be perfect, but it still comes close to being so. Its imperfections make it more than perfect. Theirs is a relationship just like any other—filled with ups and downs. The proof of their love is not in the absence of problems, but in their having the patience, understanding and mutual respect to overcome them, together. Many people when praising the Shirin pair like to adduce its being the most “realistic” of the three VN relationships in its favour. I think such people are doing it a massive disservice by doing so. Shirin is wonderful because it’s a highly idealized version of a normal relationship. Just look at the episode! Their love story is a like a fairy tale! The entire story is about Rin and Shirou, partners in crime; just the two of them against the whole world. Falling love in the midst of a conflict filled with strange mystic mages and legendary heroes from the past. And yet... it feels so down to earth. It feels like something that could occur in your own neighbourhood. What makes me love it so much is this careful but amazing balance between reality and fantasy; it’s just the story of a boy and a girl falling in love... but it feels like a grand epic. Both of them are strange and downright weird people... yet they are also just two regular teenagers, doing regular teenage things. Two regular people, stuck in extraordinary circumstances where they don’t belong... and making the best of it. Together. And nothing exemplifies that more for me that this one final scene at the end of episode 25, perfectly encapsulating why they are so great.

Many people lament the absence of more physical affection between Rin and Shirou, in both the VN and the anime. I sympathize with such people; I myself wish we had gotten many more hugs, kisses and cuddling than we did. And yet... I feel as though in decrying what is not there, they fail to appreciate what was there. Because frankly, few things have made me as emotional as this one handshake.

[fallloverfic]

I totally understand where people are coming from when they comment on my Jinx fanfics saying they wish this or that happened in the comic or, amazingly, that Mingwa should take notes or something. I am, however, probably the very wrong person to say this to lol

Mingwa is far and away (obviously) a better writer than I am. And also I adore the manhwa. I have thoroughly enjoyed every single episode, including the ones that came out in the nearly two months since I first read the manhwa, and reread at least parts of it every single day. I know fanfiction can be a fun stopgap between updates, and I'm glad my fics are enjoyable to other folks from that perspective. I get that the manhwa is not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and there are things people want to happen that are not happening (at least yet). I am sympathetic to frustration with the thing you are reading and on some level enjoy and wish were more like what you wanted. I am also interested in analysis of the story and love fanworks for it. And I'm very open to critiquing stuff you enjoy. I love doing it, and it's a great way to better appreciate art (and it's part of why I write fanfiction in the first place).

I am, however, truly not the sympathetic ear for anger about Jinx from a story or character perspective that people seemingly think I am, nor do I wish for my fic comment section to be the dumping ground of such stuff. As I've said with ENNEAD before this, I write the fanfics I do because I love the comic, not because I hate it or its author. Jinx is imperfect - as all art is - and I have criticisms (minor ones, though, like a few art errors or the overuse of stock assets solely in lieu of comic art). But I do not hate the story, the characters, or the direction the plot is going (I have tons of drafts of basically "I really like this thing about Jinx" that I just don't post for my own sanity and time). Maybe that will change, who knows! I liked BJ Alex well enough before I dropped it around the 1/3 mark due to something Dong-gyun did (though I did not like it even close to how much I love Jinx before dropping, and the thing that got me to drop it was good writing and understandable narratively, just also squicky for me). There are things I would like to see happening in the story. But also, there are at least 40 episodes left of the story (if not more, given Mingwa's comment that season 2 would be longer than season 1, and I doubt she meant just 1 episode longer). That's a lot of time for stuff to happen, and even if everything I wanted to happen happened next episode, I'd still be hungrily waiting for the following episode.

My fanfics are for fun, to ease the hungry monster in my head that wishes for more Jinx between updates. Mingwa is pacing the story well, in my opinion, and I trust in her ability to continue to do so. I am, however, less patient in my own writing (in part because I'm in a lot of fandoms and writing several fics at the same time), so I unfortunately kind of rush through things to get to the catharsis faster, which I know would be better served in a longer story. That's fine, because it's fanfic, and obviously it works for more than just me. But Jinx the comic is a lot better than that, which is part of why so many of us love it.

Now excuse me while I return to fic editing and rereading the latest episode another 40 times.

[novantinuum]

wip ask meme: "taste of ordinary" chapter 3, "white noise," and also you know i've gotta ask about the ford in hyrule fic LMAO 💜

Thank you friends! Piling all these asks in here since many of you are curious about White Noise, ahah. Which is lucky, because that's one I am actively working to finish right now and finally got a proper title!

Aight lemme dust off my wips...

_

Taste of Ordinary Chapter 3:

Okay, so this one is like. Gosh. Portions of it are SUPER old, and that's why it's been taking me forever to finish it, but this story is overtly the first bit of SU fic I ever started to write, predating even Crack the Paragon. But the gist here for the final chapter is that- while Steven goes to spend the weekend with Connie in the hope of enjoying some Gem incident free time away from home- he's sorta hit with the realization that he'll never really be able to completely separate himself from this reality of his life. From the reality of all the consequences that his mother's war left for him.

I have a fun Steven and Connie solo (no CGs to help!) fight sequence planned for this chapter, because... well...

“Aww come on,” he whines, “another corrupted Gem now? Haven’t we bubbled like, a thousand billion of you already?” She shoots to her feet, already taking the offensive. “Um? Shouldn’t we—?” His lips press into a flat line. Deep inside, the months and months of repressed annoyance and stress and frustration coursing through his veins boil over. He extends his free arm and summons a large bubble to envelop the pair of them. Thoroughly satisfied, he situates himself on the log again and stubbornly crosses his legs. “Y’know, after all the days you corrupted Gems have interrupted my quality time, I’ve decided you can hold your horses!” he says with resolve, pausing to lick at his treat. “I’m finishing my ice cream first.” At his side, Connie pales. “What? Steven?!” The corruption howls, slamming her claws against the pink translucent barrier. “Oh, double-fudge rocky road,” he whispers, gently caressing the side of his waffle cone as he purposely tries to ignore the unholy racket outside his bubble. “You’re my only light in a world full of darkness…”

White Noise:

So, I don't want to give away TOO much of the actual body of this one, because it's not going to be a particularly long fic, but this is a sort of coda to the SUF episode In Dreams. I've had much of the dialogue sketched out since the night that episode aired, but just haven't gotten around to fleshing it out until now.

I think it also acts as a bit of a companion to my fic titled Second Skin, the one that explores Steven's growing understanding of his "pink mode" across the epilogue. There was once a time where I considered outright putting it in that fic, but I ended up scraping that idea because I wanted to maintain the (mostly) steady downward spiral of Steven's own mental state in that one, and this particular story ends on a rather sweet note. It just felt like it wouldn't fit, and deserved to be expanded into its own thing.

I will share a few snippits of dialogue. Some of it is already fleshed out, some of it is still just notes.

"So, have you always glowed pink in your sleep like that?"

“I don’t need to be fixed!” he insists, almost feeling sick to his stomach as that damned glowing pallor rises under his cheeks again anyways, a rote betrayal of all his futile claims. “Didn’t we just decide that’s the whole point of us hanging out now? That we don’t have to fix anything anymore?”

(Surprise hug.) “Steven? It’s okay if you’re not okay.” (She says it in such an understanding manner.) “Sometimes… I’m not okay either."

Ford In Hyrule:

I'd still like to do something with this at some point, because I feel like Ford getting hurled into Hyrule would be PRIME material.

But basically, this is an excuse to have a completely external to all the chaos character commentate on the wild Bullshit Hyrule is dealing with and be a nerd. I think Ford would totally geek out over guardians and ancient tech and do THE most dangerous shit to get his hands on ancient cores for his weapon design. With this crossover in mind, I have the silly thought that a giant ancient core actually ends up as the power source for his quantum destabilizer.

Here, have a bit of one of his journal entries:

Journal entry #8539 Day 2 At first glance, this world is a vessel of stark contrasts. A barren land, strewn with ruins of a civilization long past… and yet irrevocably alive. The wide bounty of wildlife, so similar to the creatures of my own dimension in form, are no doubt the true rulers of this place. Thick young-growth forests blanket these rolling hills all the way to the horizon, practically bursting at the seams with deer, wild boar, foxes, squirrels, and wolves. A diverse variety of avian species populate the vast skies. If I’m honest, such unfettered freedom amidst the local fauna is not a sight I often see in a lot of the more technologically advanced dimensions I frequent, and that saddens me. There’s just something so ephemeral and intimate about observing the daily routines of critters in their natural habitats. (And it’s a large reason why I began my cryptozoologic research in the first place.) Of course, as I mentioned briefly in my last entry, the crumbling remains of former houses, barracks, and marketplaces (among countless other facilities I cannot even begin to guess the purpose of) exist as gaping scars amidst this otherwise pristine wilderness. While the broad grasslands I currently traverse certainly seem peaceful on the surface, all the lingering rubble and rust paints a dire picture of this realm’s history. Dented, tarnished swords lay long-abandoned in the dirt. Scattered humanoid remains pepper the edges of settlements like garish confetti. Certain structures are now housed by small troops of tribal, flat-nosed creatures the likes of which I have never seen, a species which must be unique to this dimension. Since these were the first tool-wielding creatures I had encountered in this world, I briefly considered making contact to learn more about their customs and capacity for communication, but after observing their nature from afar for quite some time, I determined it unwise to approach. While seeming endlessly loyal to each other, this species quickly proved to be intensely territorial upon the approach of those who were not a part of their tribe. I watched them all take arms against a lizard-like creature who made the mistake of hunting too close. Suffice it to say, that lizard was not long for the world. I shan’t be making the same mistake.

[kuschelkissen]

Said this in a reply, but ... what was the point of this arc?

Don't get me wrong. I'm having the time of my life here. So far, I've enjoyed each and every episode thoroughly for one reason or another.

But with the finale approaching I'm just wondering... what was the point?

The point of a prequel is to shine light onto the "sequels", right? To give you some insight. To make you understand. Make you look at the source material differently even.

But what have we found out so far? I mean, what actually has impact on S1 and S2? It's not a whole lot...

we saw Cheng Xiaoshi die, saw him sacrifice himself for Lu Guang. (we don't even know for sure if this was the first time this happened... some things point towards that, but others not so much)

we saw who did it (though there are already theories about that not being the case)

we learnt that Qiao Ling has known where the parents went to from the start.

we got a tiny bit of Lu Guang lore (him being into cosplay was not on my bingo, but I love it. Him saying he learnt about his powers at age 7 was a bit... uh. Sudden in the conversation? I will wait for S3 to actually confirm this because we all know that Lu Guang is a lying liar who tells lies. Even though Idk why he would lie about it. But whatever. This was just an offhand comment and idk why it was put in there at all since it was just... kinda glossed over.)

uh... I think that's it?

5/6 episodes done and this is basically all we learnt. The rest has been setting up the new characters, teasing some plot and knowledge about the parents his father and.... yeah. That's it, pretty much?

So I really wonder what we will learn next episode? What will make us go "yeah, that was worth it"? What was set up here?

Will we learn why Cheng Xiaoshi had to die? What he/they did to piss off Vein enough to go after them? (why did it take him 2 years? How did that Yingdu trip originally go?? How did they part ways??)

Will we learn anything about the parents? Why they left? Why is everyone reacting LIKE THAT at the mention of Cheng Weimin??

Will we learn anything about Liu Xiao's plans? (doubtful)

And then - under the assumption that we will see the House of the HOt Headed again in S3 because if not WHAT WAS THE POINT - will we learn anything about how they found together? What their deal is with Cheng Xiaoshi?? WHY they want him so badly??

In extension to that, though probably (?) less as a setup for S3: WHAT'S XIA FEI'S DEAL?? HUH? Is he actually the cute little somewhat innocent (ex?-)student who just happens to work for the two shadiest people in Yingdu, caught in whatever because he just doesn't actually ask/want to know the details? (He said he doesn't care for them, just for the money) Does he KNOW about whatever stuff Vein has probably going on? (Probably, because again, it's not like WE know anything about the stuff he does? In the current timeline he hasn't DONE anything shady yet, apart from some weird cannibalism jokes (?? ARE THEY JOKES OR IS HE SERIOUS I NEED TO KNOW), so??? Who knows??) Is he also a freak?? I NEED ANSWERS

And lastly. WHAT. IS. IN. HIS. CASE?! It hasn't even shown up yet, but it's in basically every single piece of official art with him??

So... uh. When will we find out if ep will be longer or not? I need to prepare mentally 😅

I don't want to keep my hopes high, but just from the pv alone there are so many scenes already?

We have the photo shooting, wq and cxs talking, lg and Vein confrontation, lx and xf talk in cinema(?), xf being held back at night. That's 5 scenes already, with a 20 min episode (not counting OP and ED), either of these can't be longer than 4 minutes 💀

We still know NOTHING about the fire and the significance of it for ANYTHING, we haven't seen the "could i control the future" talk from lg in the early pv, nor have we seen lx (?) smashing the butterfly. Idk if the lines from the hhh pv songs are for the songs only, but if not, we are missing xf asking about powers and Vein's Sweetie line.

From an interview with the VAs, we know Vein will have "a story to tell", and we SOMEHOW have to loop back to s1, so I assume we have another cxs death scene or lg diving incoming...

So... uh. Yeah. Idk about you, but I don't think this can be wrapped up in a normal length episode? I think it has to be at least 40 min long, otherwise there will be no room to breathe and leave any impact 💀

[thealieninhiding]

What A Year! 2022 in review - Part 1

A year of self-discovery, found fanmily, new favourites and new fandoms

My (a)sexuality and Legends Of Tomorrow

A random discussion in Nov 2021 with my (queerphobic) aunty reminds me of a comment my youngest sister made years ago which prompts me to investigate asexuality. It sounds like me but not sure I understand it idk, still have to think about it. I’ve gone back and forth over the years, am I straight, bi, a late bloomer, broken, is it my autism?

I don’t think of it about it again until Legends of Tomorrow 7x10 The Fixed Point airs, I truely cannot overstate how much this meant to me. While my cursory glance at asexuality left me wondering but confused this on the other hand; understand myself so much more, I feel seen, I don’t feel broken. Stuck in my throat are the words “that’s me,”, words I still can’t seem to say. I don’t know if my mum who’s watching the show with me understood, I don’t know if she saw my tweets later but I still can’t say the words, I don’t know why. I want to look more into asexuality but am still depressed so I don’t do it right away.

The penultimate episode of Legends of Tomorrow airs and I watched most of the episode thinking this would make a beautiful ending if the last episode fixed a few different things (a better end for Zari, real!Alun, etc) then I would love it as a series finale. I always worry about Legends of Tomorrow come renewal time. Then finale of Legends of Tomorrow airs; I love it but it completely fucks with the ‘I’d be okay if they ended here’ vibe I was getting from the previous episode. I take this and Booster Gold’s introduction to mean they are confident in renewal. I do contemplate if a little fan editing on the last 2 episodes could make it a conclusive ending. Which if I had the skills and equipment I would still like to do. When Legends of tomorrow is canceled I take to twitter to campaign.

It’s my first pride month knowing I’m ace. I up my #SaveLegendsOfTomorrow tweet game focusing on the amazing queer rep. I start to interact with the other campaigners but I’m shy. I look more in to asexuality something still seems to not fit. I find that many ace people IDed as bi or pan before finding out about asexuality. I also learn about the split attraction model and oriented aces. I find a new label that fits me biromantic. But I am still trying to reconcile my experience with those shared by other ace people, there’s still something missing, something that doesn’t line up with most others stories I read. I finally find what I am looking for, the missing piece, while lurking on reddit someone explaines what aegosexual is and these parts really clicked:

A disconnect between a person's self and the target of their arousal. Fantasising but envision people other than themselves, and/or view it in third person – as though they're watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through their own eyes.

Predominantly—or exclusively—fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities in place of people they know personally. Described like a spectator who enjoys sports, though has no desire to participate in the game itself.

-from The Asexuality Handbook and Sexuality Wiki

And like the last 2 labels I’m validated. And I finally make sense. Pride month comes to an end and I am whole.

The WBD merger and the subsequent cancellations leave me demoralised about saving Legends but I’ve found a fanmily I don’t want to give them up. When James Gunn tweeted out recognition of the campaign it gave me back my hope but honestly throughout it all the fanmily has be such fun I have thoroughly enjoyed goofing of with them, my year would not have been the same with out them 🫶. I also owe them for getting me to watch A League of Their Own.

EDIT - 1 week Later: ohhh okay yeah I’m aegoromantic too. So I’m Bi Aroace (Aego) and I made flags

ALOTO

After seeing this show in my tl constantly for 2 weeks I finally watch A League of Their Own. HOLY SHIT!!! I think I’m in love 😍 This show has changed me.

I instantly loved everyone, each character’s intro was brilliant, especially Max and Clance’s it really let you know the characters and that the show isn’t going to whitewash history and will also centre black voices. This show should be taught as a how to do representation in period pieces and on how to remake a film in to a series, centring marginalised voices, intersectionality, the underground worlds where they created for themselves, not shying away from the discrimination and violence but also showing the joy that people managed to carve out for themselves. The trauma and the joy beautifully interwoven.

Carson and Max’s dual stories complemented each other, showcasing the stark contrast of how a black woman and a white woman could interact in the world and showing how individual a queer journey is. Max and Carson’s stories have so many parallels, they are at different times polar opposites, mirrors, and echos of each other. Each at a different point in their journeys as both baseball players and as queer people. By utilising parallels the show drives home it’s themes; found family, following your dreams, determination and perseverance, being true to yourself. The most beautiful example of the parallels, the stark differences and the wonderful way the show’s storytelling is interwoven and intercut is of course episode 6, this has been analysed to death of course so I’ll leave that to the others.

Greta is an amazing complex character, her feminine mask, her anxiety and fear, her true self under the mask and walls she carefully maintains underneath the anxiety and fear. She didn’t want to fall in love, she didn’t believe she could love again, she wouldn’t let herself love again, wouldn’t let herself or someone else get hurt. But even constantly reminding herself that Carson was married, using it was a way to distance herself and to push Carson away, reminding herself that they only have the season, telling herself that she can’t, that she shouldn’t, she falls in love. When Joey is hurt and traded her flight instincts kick in, they usually leave at this point, they wouldn’t even let it get to this point, but of the course of the season Jo has found something, something worth sticking around for, and deep down so has Greta, but she is too scared she has to run, she can’t see someone else put away, she can’t be put away.

Shirley’s (aka me) arc was fantastic, I am 100% on board with OCD hc (also on board with autistic Carson hc), her fears that she would catch the gay was an ever present reminder that even among friends it’s not safe. She trusts Carson above all else, her reaction of betrayal and fear when she finds out about Gretson was terrifying and sad. I wanted her to accept it, to understand, I was praying she would sign her name on the wall, a sign it would be okay. The pay off of her questioning every fear she ever had was perfection.

Clance (aka my fictional BFF) is the funniest most wonderful person, she supports Max with all her heart, she will fight to the death for Max. She is pure and amazing. Just like Shirl her attitudes towards queer people are ‘of the time’ I think it was a great choice to have the characters that love and support the leads be some of the loudest queerphobic voices, showing how complex people can be and how complex navigating in the world is. I hope. Clance will be as open minded as Shirley.

I could go on, I love this show so much, I am afraid that it will be canceled, this year has not been kind in that regard.

[faunusrights]

what is going on with all the bias on robyn hill’s wiki page, anyway? - an aside

As someone who uses the RWBY wiki with some degree of frequency - often because I’m looking for art references, or Semblance and weapon names - I’m used to... some amount of bias in the articles for different characters? Like, let’s be real, it’s not a perfect wiki! Community-maintained stuff isn’t easy to all keep on the same track! But, generally, it gives the facts well enough and doesn’t do too bad a job keeping all the balls in the air when it comes to new information from all four corners of this franchise.

Well, until you open the article for Robyn Hill, and realise it’s an absolute disaster. Like, really; the impartial voice just plain doesn’t exist for her, and almost all of her wiki is written in such a way that she reads as being an absolutely insufferable, hostile, hard-to-like character. Even if you aren’t a fan of Robyn personally, you have to admit that if you hadn’t seen the show yourself, you might very well come away from her article presuming she’s a major antagonist of Volumes 7 and 8.

Like, for instance, let’s take a look at the first paragraph of her Personality section:

Robyn has a direct and confident personality, having no trouble being confrontational with Atlas personnel, including the Ace Operatives. Robyn also seems to suffer from overconfidence and arrogance, shown in her encounters with Ruby and celebrating her election victory before it was verified. She is aggressive and hostile in nature, quickly jumping to conflict without thinking through consequences. However, she is also shown to be reasonable when the situation calls for it.

And, for good measure, here’s another paragraph from the same section:

In "With Friends Like These" Robyn displayed a rather impulsive side of her personality, when upon hearing that James Ironwood's plan to abandon Mantle and arrest those against him, she started a fight between herself, Clover Ebi, and Qrow Branwen onboard a Manta with Tyrian Callows in custody. Despite the fact, there was no order or her arrest. Her brashness led to Tyrian breaking free and crashing the Manta as well as her becoming unconscious.

(Taken from Robyn’s RWBY Wiki page. Bolding is mine.)

In every instance here, all of the “negative” aspects of her personality take centre stage; she’s confrontational. She suffers from arrogance. She is aggressive and hostile. She started the fight. Her brashness led to the crash. All of this is only compounded when her positive traits trail behind as an afterthought; she’s direct and confrontational, overconfident and arrogant, aggressive and hostile, impulsive and jumps to conclusions... but hey! As least she’s reasonable when the situation calls for it. 

The way that this information is presented to the reader is quite literally on par with how the wiki presents the personalities of the actual literal villains who appear throughout the show. Let’s take, for instance, the Personality section of Cinder Fall:

Cinder is ruthless and sadistic, as demonstrated when she delivers a killing blow to a clearly defeated Pyrrha Nikos in "End of the Beginning" and when she throws a spear at a defenseless Weiss Schnee in "The More the Merrier." She is relentlessly driven to gain power and determined to cross any line to obtain it. Cinder demonstrates a cunning that shows in her successful manipulation of events and people throughout the first three volumes. Cinder is also arrogant and egomaniacal, and as such, relishes in dominance and gloating, displaying shameless pleasure in the misery she has caused others.

Or, the Personality section of Raven Branwen:

Raven is cynical, patronizing, selfish and stubborn. She believed her act of "kindness" of saving Yang's life from Neopolitan was sufficient despite having left Yang at a very young age and refused to protect her daughter when in need after that.

Raven is also very prideful and hypocritical, refusing to acknowledge her faults and always trying to justify her actions both to others and to herself, often putting the blame on others for them even if she feels real guilt about them.

It makes sense that for an antagonist, the primary faults and flaws of their personalities will come first, as to better represent them as the villains to clarify to the reader who they are and why they act as they do in their storylines. However, the fact that Robyn arguably has an even more caustic write-up then Raven, despite not being an antagonist, goes to show the lengths this writer has gone to present her in a significantly more negative light than she ever appears in the show.

If this doesn’t seem convincing, let’s look at a more direct comparison; what does the wiki say about Ironwood? He’s present in the same seasons, and has now become more of an antagonist in the latter episodes; is the wiki quite as blunt about his flaws?

Ironwood is courteous to his allies, as shown by his first onscreen interaction with Ozpin and Glynda Goodwitch. He is also far-thinking and tactical, wondering about the future, as seen when he speaks to Ozpin about Qrow Branwen's message. He also has a jovial, friendly, humorous and proud public persona, which he uses as a spokesman for the weapon manufacturers of Atlas.

However, as courteous Ironwood may appear, he can also be incredibly blunt, often preferring the direct approach. When he feels necessary, Ironwood is not afraid to bring the full might of his military command to bear, which sparked disagreements with both Glynda and Ozpin. Nevertheless, Ironwood is extremely loyal to his comrades, and however questionable his methods may be, he seems to have genuinely good intentions behind them.

Uh, no.

Instead, when his flaws are mentioned (for example, being blunt), it’s written in a significantly less... abrasive manner. It’s referred to as the direct approach, versus Robyn who is described as confrontational. Even then, his flaws are folded in to his (alleged) positive traits; he is not afraid, extremely loyal, and has genuinely good intentions, despite the fact that the show has now proven that Ironwood’s flaws greatly outweigh these. It reveals how thoroughly all of Robyn’s actions are presented as the work of an arrogant troublemaker, whilst Ironwood’s actions are presented as the efforts of a man working towards some greater good. 

Also, I’ll add that in both examples, I used the first two paragraphs of their Personality sections. These are both the first two things you read about these characters, yet look at how differently they’re summarised.

What is interesting, however, is that despite this bias being extremely self-evident, the comments on her page generally chime agreement, referring to her as “overconfident, arrogant, impulsive and hotheaded to the point of being unlikable”, and claiming that she’s “literally the worse character in the show next to cinder, blake and yang”[1]. Someone mentions that Robyn has earned quite the hatedom... but why?

Broadly, my experiences of Robyn Hill’s writing in the fandom has been through a queer lens, and the vast majority of writers who’ve covered her and the Happy Huntresses have been women, or queer, or trans, or all the above... basically, the people who are usually responsible for a vast majority of fanfiction, let’s be real. These writers love Robyn, and have explored and extrapolated on her character to marvellous degree. Yet, at no singular point have any of these flaws ever been written quite as strongly as the wiki implies they are, nor have I seen much evidence of them myself in the show. For instance, let’s take one of the more serious points in her Personality section; she started a fight between herself, Clover Ebi, and Qrow Branwen [...] her brashness led to Tyrian breaking free and crashing the Manta as well as her becoming unconscious.

When we watch this scene again, Robyn did initiate the fight... because she was rightfully aware that Clover would obey his orders, even if they were wrong. Despite everything that happened prior in the entirety of Volume 7, when given orders to bring Qrow in alongside RWBY, it was clear that Clover fully intended to follow it through, which Robyn knows from prior experience with the AceOps:

[image ID: two images of Clover, Robyn and Qrow in the dark-grey interior of the Manta ship. Robyn has her weapon aimed at Clover as he stands in front of Qrow. Clover is saying “Only Qrow is under arrest [...] please don’t make me arrest you too.”]

Her knowledge of the AceOps means that she reacted accordingly; trying to stop him from taking Qrow in and obeying Ironwood’s plan the only way she knows the AceOps respond to. Her reaction isn’t unwarranted. However, my point isn’t to argue that Robyn was right or wrong, but rather that regardless of who started the fight, the way the wiki explains this specific incident is that it’s solely Robyn’s fault that Tyrian escaped and crashed the Manta, but we know this isn’t the case. Robyn and Qrow both fought Clover, and it was Clover’s good luck (or Qrow’s bad luck, depending on how you view it) that allowed for Kingfisher to break Tyrian’s bonds. Her brashness is blamed for the outcome, but in reality, this outcome could have been avoided together if Clover had not chosen to follow his orders and bring in an innocent man. Also, she didn’t crash the Manta! That was all Tyrian! The intentional tying together of these two events as her fault, however, are a neat package of blame.

In these instances on the wiki, Robyn’s personality appears amplified, focusing specifically on her flaws and exaggerating them to the extremes that, as noted earlier, matches the language used to define the very villains of the series. Yet, the people who enjoy her and the Happy Huntresses often perceive those same flaws to a significantly lesser extent, or even see those flaws as actually being boons of her character; for instance, reading her alleged arrogance as passion. So, why such division?

Before, I mentioned her “negative” traits, and I put this into quote marks because traits don’t always align nicely into good and bad. All aspects of a person can vary on how positive they are based on context - even the show proves this, with protectiveness becoming paranoia (Ironwood) or loyalty becoming subservience (Winter). Even a character that is broadly composed of more unfavourable traits can have this contextual shift; Cinder’s stubbornness to her goals makes her a fast learner and a tenacious opponent.

Yet, why did the writer (or writers) choose to highlight almost every aspect of Robyn’s character as a bad thing? Why did they frame her decisions as such? I have a suspicion it’s to do with her character at large; she’s a bold socialist politician who believes in equality and fairness for all, who refuses to stand for incompetence and obedience towards evil causes. She’s outspoken in her views, and reacts strongly to those who threaten to overturn her work. Also, she’s a woman, in charge of a group of other women, at least one of whom is canonically trans. To those who agree with her in real life, Robyn appears as a great character! We admire her work ethic and we support her ends. To those who may not... well, it’s not hard to see how they might perceive her as more of a cocky, authority-defying upstart. Of course, the core text of RWBY doesn’t quite believe the latter; RWBY has always placed Robyn as the direct counter to authoritarianism, whether it be Jacques, Clover, or Ironwood, and even the article admits that she is a potent voice for the people of Mantle. Still, it’s clear that there’s plenty of people in a vocal minority who are deeply dissatisfied by Robyn, and aren’t afraid to make their stance on the matter exceedingly clear.

So, what does this all mean? Well, here’s what we can say for sure; Robyn’s article is, and has always been, stringently biased against her character, and often misconstrues her motives and decisions. This is maybe the more obvious part, but how should her article be worded to make this less so? Likely, I’d rephrase a lot of it to be less damaging to her character; she isn’t hostile, she holds people accountable. She isn’t quick to jump to conflict, she is familiar with how Atlas responds to anti-authority with violence. She isn’t arrogant, she believes in the power of the people as being the right thing to fight for. Even this makes it clearer that her character is about resisting the oppression inherent in Atlas, and is a much clearer outline of her personality as a whole. People may disagree with this phrasing and summary also, but given her character is based on Robin Hood, it’s also not far from the mark in terms of what she should represent.

TL;DR: Robyn’s wiki page is written with a deep bias against her character and what she represents, acts upon, and chooses to do in the show; I have no doubt that in canon, this sort of language would probably be used by Jacques himself as a smear campaign, haha. Whilst I can’t speak for the author and their motives, I have a distinct feeling that this article was written, or edited, by someone who is either:

not a fan of Robyn

not a fan of a new female character

not a fan of a new female character in a position of power

not a fan of a character with socialist/communist/antifa ideals

all of the above and then some???

Even though I’m not going to edit her wiki page (I’m very shy and I’ve never done it before), I think it’s worth analysing this if only as a reminder of the inherent biases of an author even when people are trying to present a character’s information impartially. This isn’t the first wiki I’ve seen misconstrue - or even make incorrect assumptions on - facts about a character, and it won’t be the last. In the meantime, though, I leave you with this fact:

Robyn Hill slaps huge nuts and I love her.

[1] I’m not naming the users who posted these things here, because it’s unnecessary. You can find them for yourself at the bottom of Robyn’s wiki, but there’s no need to respond; some people just don’t like Robyn, and that’s fine - I’m just explaining how bias leaks into wikis like water into a sponge. It happens!

[renegadewangs]

Van Zieks - the Examination, part 4

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see  Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

It’s time to take a close look at Episode 2 of the second game, The Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro!

Episode 2-2: The Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro

Remember how in the last episode we vaguely got Barok on our side near the end of the trial by proving Mrs. Garrideb was actually involved in the crime? … Yeah. Forget that progress. It's being undone. Case 2-2 is the first case of the second game which features Barok, which unfortunately means he needs to be 'reintroduced' to the audience and it takes him back several steps in his growth. It makes sense, I suppose, it would've been weird starting a new game with him already being lightly on Ryu's side. Even so, it's a bit insulting how this case acts as if the chronologically previous one accomplished nothing.

So anyway, this case flashbacks to something which supposedly happened right after the first game's fourth case. The day after Soseki's acquittal, even. Turns out, Soseki awoke to find one of the other tenants in his building dead and asked Ryu for help, but (S)Holmes tagged along. Gregson is at the crime scene, keeping an eye on the place and on Soseki in particular since he's suspicious. (Sure, Gregson. Sure. Has nothing to do with the Reaper's curse, probably.) After some investigation with (S)Holmes, Gregson has enough evidence to actually arrest Soseki, which definitely feels like a step backwards. A bit later, it turns out the victim is Not Actually Dead Yet. Again! The Great Ace Attorney really enjoys throwing us for a loop by pretending we're in for another murder case.

Anyway, during the course of the investigation, I found two mentions of Van Zieks. The first is when you investigate the broken glasses and bottles in the victim's room. Susato is immediately reminded of Lord van Zieks.

And when examining Garrideb's old army uniform, Susato points out it might suit Lord van Zieks.

Haha, as if his usual outfit isn't ostentatious enough already. So we learn that Susato doesn't have a very high opinion of him at all, and I should hope it's not still related to that time he called detective novels pathetic. It's fun of them to refer to him in an investigation that he's not involved in in any way, especially when they don't know yet that he's the prosecution again.

Speaking to Soseki in the gaol, we're once again told that he's had a dreadful time in England so far. He sees foreigners everywhere and he's sure they're all laughing at him. He's been so on edge the past year that he's moved 'more times than he can remember'. So once again, we're reminded that racial prejudice in 1900s England is a focal point of this game's story. Once the conversation is over, Gregson appears to let the gang know that the victim has regained consciousness and is accusing Soseki of poisoning him. We're going to trial for an attempted murder charge, y'all!

The next day, in the defendant's lobby, Susato comes bursting in with the dreadful news that Barok van Zieks has once again taken on the prosecution. It's definitely safe to assume now that either Ryu or Soseki is the reason he's taking on these not-really-murder trials when he normally wouldn't. As I mentioned before, this is his reintroduction in the second game and so the game feels compelled to remind the player of what went down in case 1-4:

He sure did! The game also once again reminds us what the Reaper's Curse entails, and that perhaps that's the reason why Soseki is on trial yet again. He's doomed, perhaps. Susato also informs us that (S)Holmes is running late, just as he was two days ago, and Ryu thinks that's a good thing because if the Great Detective were there, Ryu might come to rely on his help.

… I suppose? He already relies on Susato for help and I feel like that would warrant far more 'preying' from Van Zieks than relying on a male, adult British detective for help. Though knowing (S)Holmes, he'd end up stealing the show and taking the words from Ryu's mouth, but that doesn't seem to be what Ryu's worried about here. I suppose the main point to take away from this remark is that Ryu wants to do as much as he can by himself. He wants to appear strong in front of Van Zieks to avoid presenting an easy target, and I think this might actually be the first time we see a sentiment like that from him. Is he afraid of Van Zieks? Does he actually care about the man's opinion? Anyway, he swears to show Van Zieks what a Japanese lawyer can do.

Inside the courtroom, Van Zieks does the usual prosecutor spiel about how the defense needs to be ready for defeat. Ryu thinks to himself that Van Zieks has a particular animosity towards Japanese people for some reason.

Good thing we got a second game in the series, eh? So because the defendant was on trial only two days ago, the same jurors were chosen where possible. The only juror not returning is Mrs. Garrideb, who's too busy being in prison. Her spot is now taken by a very fancy lady we later learn to be the wife of the Altamont Gas Company's owner. She may as well be the CEO herself with how she's acting, though. Anyway, Van Zieks addresses the jurors directly.

“However, the innocent verdict afforded to this eccentric Nipponese before... has had dire consequences. Did the accused repent for his wrongdoing in that affair? Far from it. Instead, he used his freedom to perpetrate a most blood-curdling crime!”

Van Zieks makes record time by taking off his cloak immediately after this line. He's gone straight into overdrive. The witnesses summoned this time are Inspector Gregson and... Soseki? It's very irregular for the defendant to be testifying, especially this early in the trial and especially by the prosecution's request. I can't really make much of it. It feels like the only reason Soseki is testifying is for this joke:

Also found when examining the testimony is a remark from Van Zieks that I honestly found shocking in how ferocious and scummy it is.

Unnecessary, that remark. It didn't need to exist at all in my opinion. So after Ryu shatters the testimony and scatters Gregson's fish 'n chips, Van Zieks calmly pours himself a glass of wine. I have to be honest, by now whenever he does this I'm left wondering what he'll do next. Will he crush the chalice? Will he throw it? Will he actually take a sip? The versatility of the action and unpredictable nature of Van Zieks add a bit of suspense. Turns out, his mind wandered during the testimony.

And then he ends up crushing the glass in his hand anyway. Alas, poor chalice. We knew it. So after a bit of debating back and forth about whether Shamspeare drank the supposedly-poisoned-tea after Soseki left the room, Van Zieks suddenly falls silent. We get three different, consecutive frames of him going “......” and when the judge asks what's wrong, he says this:

Supersonic hearing, this one. That is, unless the carriage entered the courthouse and literally pulled up in the hallway outside the room? Haven't we learned our lesson from the last time a carriage was driven into the Old Bailey?! So Shamspeare was apparently subpoenaed by the prosecution and has shown up to testify (with his doctor's permission). Bad news for us, since he's the one accusing Soseki in the first place. There's also a second witness to support Shamspeare's insistence there were no other visitors to the room and therefore only Soseki could have poisoned him. After that testimony is over, Van Zieks gets his wish and all the jurors vote guilty.

Van Zieks really seems to think that Soseki is a terrible person deserving of justice, huh? He was right there during the previous trial, saw Ryu prove without a shadow of a doubt that Soseki was innocent and still insists that justice will be done “this time”. Calm the heck down man, you're the one who sided with us when Mrs. Garrideb needed to testify, remember? And here comes another example of the game pretending the previous trials didn't leave an impact; when the Summation Examination is brought up, it's with disdain and this remark:

Bro, we used the Summation Examination successfully like five times already. Sit your butt down and watch the show. The jurors once again give prejudiced reasons for their decisions:

And unfortunately, instead of changing their minds by proving Soseki is a morally upstanding, innocent citizen, Ryu instead gets through this Summation Examination by basically proving Shamspeare is a worse person than Soseki. That's... not the direction you should be taking here, narrative. After convincing four of the jurors that Shamspeare is a fishy liar, Van Zieks flings another chalice of wine in frustration. The judge still thinks he could technically pass a ruling on the trial, since the new information didn't exactly disprove that Soseki is the culprit, but the jurors have been influenced so thoroughly that they can't let this new info go ignored. Testimony from the Altamont Company is allowed! Van Zieks thinks it's a waste of time, of course, and if this were reality it would be. Since it's an Ace Attorney game, we know Shamspeare's gas thievery is bound to somehow be related to the incident. Van Zieks flings yet another chalice after hearing the testimony (how many has it been already? Five?) and very shortly after, he tosses the entire bottle over his shoulder. Susato points out that he seems to be in a violent mood. I feel like someone must've pissed in his oatmeal that morning, because I've got no real explanation for why his character regressed this badly in the course of what chronologically was only two days.

Van Zieks flings two more chalices as the testimony progresses to prove that Shamspeare made fake coins to fool the gas meter. At the end of it all, he supposedly 'throws his hand up in despair and happened to catch his hallowed bottle along the way', flinging yet another one of those into the gallery. I'm starting to feel very bad for the people seated behind him now. Is the game overdoing these quirky animations to compensate for his regressed attitude? Because I'm not sure it's working... Van Zieks continues to insist that the situation hasn't changed and only Soseki could have poisoned the victim, so he calls for immediate adjucation. The game gives Ryu the option to either object or wait and see, and I have to be honest, this gave me pause. After what happened with the penalties in case 1-4, I was sure Van Zieks might dish out more punishment for waiting and seeing. Turns out, he doesn't. Ryu points out that Shamspeare likely used the tea to make these fake frozen coins of his, meaning there's still tea left at the scene of the crime which can be tested for poison.

Head in my hands right now. Again, I get it, they basically had to reintroduce Van Zieks to newcomers of the game (however few there might've been) so they had to regress him a bit, but I really don't like this. He honestly felt like he'd grown at the end of 1-4 and the game's not only undone it, it feels like they've made him even more of a scumbag. This line and this gesture honestly doesn’t quite correspond with the character established in the previous game. Anyway, court adjourned till the next day so the police can test the tea for poison.

During the investigation segment, we get a conversation that I'd quite honestly forgotten even exists. Turns out, (S)Holmes and Van Zieks are acquainted! ...or are they? (S)Holmes says he 'must pass the time of day with Mr. Reaper again, as it's been too long' and when asked whether they're acquainted, (S)Holmes replies that there isn't a person in the world who doesn't know his name, expertly dodging the question. Naturally, a new conversation topic opens up about it, so we can still attempt to needle more details out of him.

He explains the history of the Reaper's curse a bit more. Previous defendants found not-guilty would 'disappear from the capital' by falling under a passing carriage, drowning in the Thames, succumbing to a sudden fever... Etc. Susato points out that if those rumors are true, then surely the obvious conclusion would be that they were killed by Van Zieks's own hand. (S)Holmes points out that's impossible, since Van Zieks was already investigated on the matter before and for every single incident, he had a solid alibi. (This... doesn't disprove Van Zieks had anything to do with it, but okay (S)Holmes. Sure.) (S)Holmes also rubs it in yet again that Van Zieks retired from the courts five years ago and didn't return until the day Naruhodo arrived. I honestly don't know why they keep bringing that 5 year hiatus up in every single case, because as far as I can recall it was never fully explained or relevant.

I love how “foul smell” is wedged in-between those two topics as if it's also related. Anyway the conversation continues when Ryu brings up that Van Zieks seems to have a particular disdain for Japanese people. Susato demands to know whether (S)Holmes knows a bit more about it and while he's silent at first, he relents and tells us a tale (which will apparently be forgotten by Ryu and Susato in case 1-5). Van Zieks “chose to enter the legal profession ten years ago, but before that time, the man's closest companion hailed from the empire of Japan”. Which is a wording that baffles me, because it implies that Van Zieks chose to enter the legal profession at the same moment that Japanese person betrayed him, which we know is not the case. He was already in training to be a prosecutor before that, otherwise how could he possibly have prosecuted the Professor trial? Ryu is shocked and asks to know more, but (S)Holmes says the veil on the events from the past will be lifted soon enough. I'll get back to the implications of what this means for Van Zieks's backstory when we hit this exact same reveal in case 1-5.

Van Zieks is mentioned very little in the rest of the investigation segments. We only learn that he tasked Gregson with finding new clues, much to Gregson's dismay, as there isn't much to be found. The Inspector does immediately leap at new information when we uncover it, which implies he's eager to either please Van Zieks or avoid being scolded by him. I'm assuming the latter, but it's also possible Gregson feels guilty over the whole Reaper thing and Klint's autopsy, and is now compensating by working his hardest to fulfill Van Zieks's requests.

At the very end of the investigation, when evening falls, (S)Holmes reminds us that “it'll be hard to escape the grip of our friend, Mr. Reaper”. The next day, in the defendant's lobby just before the trial begins, Ryu thinks to himself that he doesn't believe in the legend of the Reaper any more than he believes in the convict's curse Soseki keeps mentioning. What's interesting here is that Ryu isn't dreading the confrontation anymore. After the McGilded trial he seemed genuinely intimidated by the concept of going up against Van Zieks (not because of the racism but because of what happened to his first defendant), but now he's not so hesitant anymore. He's beginning to see that Van Zieks can be defeated, that the Reaper thing is nonsense and that protecting his client is a fight worth fighting.

Into the courtroom we go for day 2 of the trial! When the judge asks about the results of the tea test, Van Zieks is silent for a moment. He pours himself a glass of wine, asking for a moment to “savour a liquid of a more sanguine hue”, then refers to Gregson for the full report. Gregson confirms no poison was found in the tea remains, but the prosecution wouldn't be the prosecution (and the game would be pretty boring) if they didn't have a backup plan. When Ryu proclaims Soseki is innocent, Van Zieks accuses him of jumping to conclusions, “a typical Nipponese reaction”. It's also a typical prosecution reaction to be hypocritical, no surprises here. He throws his chalice (first one of the day) and summons Shamspeare back to the stand to testify about how Soseki's unpoisoned and undrank cup of tea had been used to make the ice coins.

There's some lines here that I thought I might as well include:

“Yet on occasion, tedium distracts me and I pour more times than I intended until the bottle is dry.”

You know, it occurs to me that this drink is pretty much confirmed to be wine. He's very extra when talking about it himself, but he had his silly little wine analogies in the previous case and Susato referred to his glasses as “wine glasses”. And you would think it's obvious that it's wine, but we know Ace Attorney's long history with 'grape juice'. Either way, this dialogue leaves a pretty harsh implication that Van Zieks drinks alcohol simply to distract himself from troublesome moods. Sure, he says “tedium”, but this is a stoic prosecutor in the year 1900. They referred to depression as “melancholia” back then, and since he doesn't appear to have any friends, I expect he experiences “tedium” quite often outside the courtroom. He apparently set a rule for himself not to fill his glass more than seven times during a trial which, in turn, implies he's aware any more would cause problems. All of this is moot, of course, since 80% of the wine he pours for himself ends up on the floor between shards of glass. Still, though... Zieks, are you okay?

I don't think he is, because he pulls a very dirty trick here. Ryu proves Soseki drank all his tea and therefore it couldn't possibly have been used, so Van Zieks insinuates to Shamspeare that perhaps he misremembered using the tea from Soseki's cup and instead used tea still left in the teapot. An excuse Shamspeare happily takes, of course. Not gonna lie, I got angry, not because it's a dirty trick but because it's inconsistent. This is the very same character who all but dragged Mrs. Garrideb down from the juror bench to testify when it became clear she likely threw a knife out the window. And now he's feeding slippery excuses to a man who's very clearly lying about all sorts of things? What??? And remember this incident, because I'm going to be referring back to it later.

He crushes another chalice, removes his cloak and continues to insist that we should believe this thieving liar at the witness stand. The jurors for some reason buy the baloney served to them on a tinfoil platter and even twist Ryu's sentiments around, with some bloke going as far as to interpret the situation as 'the lawyer lad believes anyone who steals gas deserves to be poisoned'. Summation Examination gets very funky this time around, with the outcome being that Shamspeare probably blew the gas pipes (s-snerk) and the poison was laced on the pipe.

Van Zieks pours himself a glass of wine and pretty much immediately flings it, saying these are all empty assertions without a shred of proof. When Ryu presents the picture with the skin prints, Van Zieks once again breaks the rule of the prosecution staying silent during Summation Examination to point out that skin prints cannot be used as evidence, since that method is not recognized by the court (yet). Aaand he crushes yet another chalice in his hand.

Susato claims it was never meant to be used as official evidence, it was only a tool to demonstrate a new possibility to the jury. Jumping through some loopholes here, we are, since the picture is clearly in our Court Record as evidence. But, well, the prosecution cheats too so what's the harm? Some jurors vote not-guilty, but there's still one more that needs convincing on order to keep the trial going. Ryu says he has a witness who's already testified that the pipe-blowing incident did indeed occur that night, as Soseki stated the other day before the court that his stove went out in the dead of night. (Hang on, is this why the narrative made him testify alongside Gregson?) With that the majority of the jury votes not-guilty and the trial has to continue, but Van Zieks is extra rattled now. (Another bottle goes soaring.)

He once again reminds the court that skin prints aren't admissible evidence and therefore, there is no real proof Shamspeare put his mouth to the pipes (ghghhh I'm sorry this is such a silly thing to have to type out). Ryu asks for an investigative team to test the mouth of the gas pipe for poison, but since it would've evaporated by now, that's a no-go. Also, Van Zieks says that “what appears to be simple is my Nipponese friend's mind” and that's a scumbag point. Ryu attempts to turn the trial around by claiming that Shamspeare attempted to kill Soseki, making the defendant the victim, but Van Zieks ain't having it. The aggrieved being the accused is an interesting notion, but doesn't change what actually happened. In fact, if anything, it establishes a motive for Soseki to lay a trap for Shamspeare. Because who else could have known about the gas pipe trickery and put the poison there, right? Why, the true culprit, of course.

Our man Van Zieks really doesn't like (S)Holmes, huh? A tidbit which the games will never bother to explain! Either way, Ryu raises the name of Olive Green, the victim of the previous case. And I gotta say, I do genuinely like the way they integrated these two Clouded Kokoro cases together. The chronology of everything that went down is very fun to decipher, but long story short, Olive Green was at Briar Road the day she was stabbed for a reason and knows more about the 'convict curse' Soseki and Garrideb kept mentioning, so let's drag her into court! Van Zieks agrees to subpoena Miss Green in order to 'see his Nipponese friend's farce through to its conclusion'.

So during intermission some more evidence is handed to Ryu and when trial resumes, Van Zieks continues to be his usual self.

“The prosecution has tried to extend every courtesy to this amateur newcomer from dubious Eastern shores.”

Ryu sweats bullets as he meekly thanks Van Zieks “(for his backhanded consideration)”, but once again the judge is the one to call Van Zieks out on his attitude.

Amazing. It's so refreshing to see a judge who actually disagrees with the prosecution's haughty attitude problems and acknowledges it has no place in a courtroom. Nothing against Udgey, because we all love Udgey (and his Canadian brother), but this man actually grows and learns. So Olive Green takes the stand alongside Shamspeare (maybe not the best idea since Ryu just accused her of trying to murder this man) for dual testimony. When Green brings up what a dreadful ordeal the knife to her back was, Van Zieks says this:

Hang on, empathy? He's giving her advice? This reeks of humanization! Green seems taken aback and thanks him for his words, so the sentiment was genuinely accepted. This in itself is a very nice scene to see in action, similar to Van Zieks allowing Roly Beate to keep his job. Unfortunately, Van Zieks's character is in a wild rollercoaster of moral inconsistency during this particular case which sours the experience somewhat. Case in point:

YOOOU hypocrite! This actively angered me, because at the very start of this same trial day he was personally feeding lies to Shamspeare. Now he's warning Green not to lie? It gets even worse a bit later on when Green gets cornered about stealing the note, she asks him whether it could all be some sort of misunderstanding, and he says:

ACTIVELY FEEDING SHAMSPEARE A LIE. THE VERY SAME DAY. I'm all for prosecutors using dirty tactics. It helps to juxtapose them further to the honest defense attorney we play as. However, it needs to be consistent. Either a prosecutor condones a witness's lies to help their case, or they feel that they're above it. The third, most used option is for them to start off condoning it, only to learn that truth takes priority over victory. This sloppy back-and-forth morality that Van Zieks has going on here is insanely frustrating, so it's no wonder some players end up disliking him. It honestly feels as if they rewrote this case so many times, they screwed up the exact growth trajectory Van Zieks has.

Anyway, it seems Van Zieks is suddenly fully on our side now to help Ryu prove that Green was in Shamspeare's room and laced the gas pipe with poison. And I mean help help. When the judge points out that if Green had laced the pipe the very same day she was stabbed, the attempted murder would have happened six days ago. Van Zieks is the one to say “Perhaps not, My Lord” and explain Briar Road was full of police at that time. At this point, Van Zieks and Ryu (and also Susato) actively start to take turns to explain the proper chronology of events. So the defense and the prosecution are in perfect sync right now, working together to explain the whodunnit. This is the ideal outcome to any trial, usually not seen until the last case of the game, so it's curious that this dynamic abruptly shows itself in a case like this. Van Zieks does still have one moment of gaslighting when he claims Ryu may have inhaled some dubious gas, causing his judgment to be clouded, since there's no motive behind Shamspeare's attempts on his fellow lodgers. A matter that's very easily resolved, of course. Once the name of Selden is brought up, Van Zieks continues our little game of back-and-forth-truth-reveal until (S)Holmes shows his face.

“Your usual haunts are the filthy backstreets of the capital, are they not?”

To which (S)Holmes replies that it's been too long, and Van Zieks's complexion has worsened since last they met. Alright, so Van Zieks and (S)Holmes definitely have met in person before, some undetermined amount of time ago. You'd think that going by (S)Holmes's friendly attitude they might've even been friends once, but our great detective is like that towards everyone. This is evidenced by an earlier encounter with Gregson where (S)Holmes insists they're friends and Gregson says that they're not friends, to which (S)Holmes quietly agrees. So really, this little exchange tells us nothing about the history between the great detective and the Reaper.

Some shenaniganry, a breakdown and admittance to guilt later, the court is finally ready to deem Soseki innocent. Van Zieks once again has some interesting lines here:

“And one I certainly didn't envisage walking... with you.”

Considering he attempted to trip us up for most of this walk up until the very last stretch, I don't like this remark very much. It feels very unearned. This is another one of those things that would've been more suitable in the last case of the game, but instead it's being crammed into a messy mid-game moment with the pretense that Van Zieks learned a lesson about being our ally.

In the defendant's lobby, the game basically gives the exact same dialogue as at the end of the original Clouded Kokoro case; that Soseki is returning to Japan and hopes to pen his own literature there, with the rest of the cast pointing out that the Reaper's Curse must factor into his decision to some degree. So we're still holding onto that question of whether Soseki will escape an untimely death or not. Anyone who's already played the last case of the first game will know the answer, of course.

So to summarize... I genuinely didn't enjoy Van Zieks's portrayal in this case. It really feels as if something went horribly wrong and they got some notes mixed up about where his character was already headed in the previous game. It's a crying shame. There was a lot of potential for a case set between 1-4 and 1-5, but they really dropped the ball when it comes to consistency and I've no doubt that it reflected badly on people's opinions of him. Though I think when we return to the first game for The Unspeakable Story, everything will right itself out again to some degree. Stay tuned!

[lexareyouokay]

Danny Devito House// College AU Snippet

This is part of a much longer short that will not be finished for awhile, but this is the beginning of it and really one of the parts I liked writing. If you've ever watched Bojack Horseman and saw the episode based around Todd pretending Bojack's house belonged to David Boreanez that's the concept this is based around (except Hisoka convinced everyone that Silva's house is owned by Danny Devito, and ropes Leorio into his scheme). Is it stupid? Yes. Did I thoroughly enjoy writing wacky hijinks? Also yes.

Warnings: none

“I need something to do, a job, or a task, or a direction in life,” Hisoka props his elbows on the library table. Leorio attempts to ignore him by staring into the images of Gauss’s Law and the conductor’s. Physics was the pre-med student’s worst subject and just maintaining a B in the class was difficult. Hisoka wasn’t helping his focus on the equations and application, especially since he didn’t even enjoy the subject he was studying in comparison to biology or chemistry.

Leorio sighs and pulls up his head from the text, knowing very well that the local frat boy isn’t going to move even if prompted. “Hisoka, I thought that was harassing everyone you know?” Leorio says, hoping the sarcasm would ward off the unwanted presence.

“It’s not, I meant like a career or an adventure. What is my goal, here? Y’know what I mean?” He pulls out a chair and sits across from Leorio, grinning with his hands clasped. Something was suspicious about his usual chipper tone and the lack of knowledge as to why. Letting Hisoka talk to you was like standing in the middle of a land mine and expecting nothing to happen.

“Why are we having this conversation?” Leorio looks up with irritation in his eyes, hoping his direct comment would be off-putting.

Hisoka’s smirk then turns to the smile of a Cheshire cat. It left Leorio to wonder if this was mischief or malice. “Because you’re a smart guy, you know what you want to do,” the man child’s eyes narrowed in glee.

“I don’t think you should be in medicine,” Leorio looks back down until Hisoka waves his hand in front of him to regain his attention.

“I don’t want to be in medicine. I want to have a business venture,” Leorio hoped it wasn’t one of the immediate ten illegal things that came to mind. Whatever he was about to hear may cost him more of his innocence, it’s already been lost by seeing cadavers in the anatomy lab and having to read about various infections to parts of the body too taboo to talk about in common discussion.

Leorio leans over and whispers in hopes he could prevent something that could damage his medical school application. “Do you know what you’re saying?” The sight of his angry face looking into Hisoka’s trollish one caught the attention of several girls at the next table.

“Uh, duh, yeah. I actually do Mr.no-social-life.” The mockery pours out of the statement to only aggravate Leorio, this pulled him fully into the discussion. He grew up being bullied and was a loudmouth in terms of who he was, everytime someone talked to him like that it would often get the best of him since he was now the butt of the joke instead of the one cracking it.

“Go on?” The studious one hisses.

“You know the rich neighborhood, like right outside of campus?”

“I do.”

“Okay, so Illumi’s dad lives there but he’s gonna be gone this weekend-”

“No, I’m not helping you throw a party, you have a whole frat house for that. There’s no way I’m going there.”

“That’s not what I plan on doing, his dad is gone for a week, I say we tell people it’s a celebrity's house,” Leorio’s mind stopped as Hisoka said this for a minute. The thought that it paused on was somewhere between Hisoka has no life and what show was he watching that he got this scheme from?

“Like in Hollywood?” Leorio grabs his coffee and sips it, knowing he was not fully prepared to deal with this. He thought about how he had dealt with Kurapika before and how Hisoka was a whole other personality. One could act like a moody teenager and the other was the embodiment of a crass joke on an adult animated sitcom.

“Yup!” the capricious fraternity member said, putting his arms out like a proud child.

“No one’s gonna believe you,” Leorio rubbed his temples in confusion, still trying to process where Hisoka pulled this one from. He’s seen this somewhere, in some show, but the lack of sleep and three cups of coffee gave him a haze that felt more like a clip in the face.

“Oh, but how you are wrong, my friend,” Hisoka is giddy in this statement as he slides closer to Leorio to explain further. Putting his arm around the other in a gesture of comradery in the odd scheme.

Leorio quickly rips the other boy’s arm off and snaps back. “Get your arm off of me, and we’re not friends. Also, this isn’t even close to L.A., you idiot!” Once again the medical student’s raised voice garner’s the attention of the group of girls sitting a few tables over.

“Celebrities have other houses too!” Hisoka argues slapping his fist against the table which summons the attention of the librarian at the desk in the center of the room.

“And they don’t want people to go in them.”

“Unless they’re Danny Devito,” Hisoka smiles nonsensically, knowing that what he is saying is going to make zero sense to anyone but himself. There was an air of humor in the troll for him, not just the completion of a weird idea.

“I’m done here,” Leorio collects his books and throws them in his backpack, and slips them over his shoulder. Hisoka chases after him and stops him, grabbing the other boy by the shoulders.

“Leorio, I thought you would be interested in the cut I had planned for you,” the con man pleads with as much charm as he could muster.

“There’s no money because your stupid plan isn’t going to work!” Leorio shoves him out of the way and makes his way to the Library doors.

“If it does I’ll give you a 33% cut...I noticed you’ve been seeing the cute waitress,” The word waitress ignites a fiery rage in Leorio, he wonders how Hisoka knows who she is and why. Immediately he grabs the front of the silver-tongued frat boy’s shirt.

“Leave her a-” Hisoka puts his hands up again as a means of preventing a scene from occurring.

“I don’t have any interest in your girlfriend, I’m busy getting Machi to not hate my guts, as that comes naturally to her. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some money to take her somewhere nice on a date instead of hanging out at her work or even buy her something nice, like a necklace?” As Hisoka says this, Leorio lowers him to the ground, thinking about that last point. In college, you quickly learn you have almost no money. In medicine, you are told you’ll get money, but in reality, you’ll live a middle-class life as you spend it treating people and dodging lawsuits made by administrative boneheads and the occasionally manipulative patient. Both realities told him one certain thing in his life, he would always be in need of money in some way. He liked Mito because she was as pragmatic on the subject as he was, having to look after a young child made her more grounded to him than girls closer to his age often were. If he could do something for her, and have the money for it to be of quality, that would be a pleasant moment in a world of some darkly comedic realities.

“You know what, fine. I like money, and I like her more,” Leorio’s face grows red admitting that out loud, even though he knew it very well. Hisoka happily slaps him in the back.

“I knew you would agree to it!”

[whencallstheheart]

We’ll find out tonight if our predictions are correct! 

Responses to the written questions are under the cut.

Where is Ned and what is he doing?

No idea

Business trip

Dealing with some financial issues.

Doing business in UC or Hamilton. Nothing major

He stayed behind next episode and will be back in the finale.

I think planning something for Florence, maybe expansion for the mercantile?

I don't know

I have no idea, wth!?!?

Yo i have no idea. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he's trying to contact Florence's daughter who wasnt there for the wedding

Maybe he's visiting his daughter? Or expanding the Mercantile somehow

With Mike. Oil pipeline

Hiding

It sure

I have no clue honestly, maybe planning a surprise for Florence?

Perhaps...expanding his store? Or ordering something new to begin to be shipped to his.

something related to factory

Sussing out suppliers

Maybe something to do with the Wyman guy?

visiting his daughter

Buying a new house or a surprise for Florence

Visiting Abigail

Planning something special for Florence

He is doing something with his daughter

No clue

With his daughter

Planning to expand the mercantile to include deliveries (Hope Valley Amazon) lol

Not sure

I really dont know!

Made out a Will since he now is married to Florence

Business in Union City

Business, but he’ll be back

I don’t Know

I dont know. This one threw me!

Literally have no idea

maybe he will come back with his daughter who will come to live at HP

some sweet surprise/gift for Florence

He is involved im some growth in HV.

Taking care of business.

He's making a business deal somewhere

I have no idea. I think it was a weird to put in o.O

Making purchases for the store.

Business stuff somewhere

I don't know

i don't know

ned things

He just took the long way home...

Adopting Flo's son

Hiding

He is picking up a surprise order gift for Florence, and it’s taking longer than expected.

Fighting attempt to take over mercantile

Talking to a divorce lawyer. Or putting a pillow over Abigail's mom's face so she can bury her already and come back to Hope Valley for his buddy Henry's sake.

Honestly I’m not sure but interested to find out!

Idk honestly. Probably actually doing something sweet for Florence but she doesn't know it.

What's up with the Pinkertons?

Not sure

A storyline to bring a change of pace to the show.

I really Don’t know

Not sure, but I don’t think it will be resolved this season, maybe it’s the cliffhanger?

I don't know

They’re hired thugs like they were in S1, just there to show Walden is a bad guy despite appearances

Factory related

Up to no good! Don’t trust them.

Yo i dont even know. They look totally sketch but they are probably the good guys actually. I'm predicting they are after someone who's been wanted for a long time. I think it may be too easy to link them with the guy who took Jesse and Clara's money

Not sure yet

Working for Waldon

Railroad

Sneakily buying land

I couldn't care less about them

Perhaps something is in the cabin/someone they don't want found.

No idea

Something to do with the mine disaster (even though it's been ages).

we will see in season 9

Setting up a good storyline for season 9

Not sure maybe something to do with the new factory that might be built

Maybe it has to do with Henry

I have no idea, but I do not like them!

No good

Buying all the land

They have Jesse. Someone wants to reopen the mine and seek revenge on Elizabeth for his son going to jail (Spurlock).

Looking for some kind of hidden good

Shady dealings going on

Guarding the future factory site. But something extra at the cabin connected with Spurlock.

Trouble

?

An even bigger I dont know on this one. Like, what in the world???

Holding Jesse captive

I think they kidnapped Jesse because he found out what they were up to but I have no idea what that is

stumped on this one

That is difficult. He is apparently connected to S1 Spurlock. Is he there for revenge? Or, just a heavy hand like his relative?

Revenge? They want to take over Hope Valley.

Something sketchy, probably bigger than just whatever is going on with the cabin though.

Land grab

No clue but they'll be one of the big bads next season

They are probably the goons of the Industry dude

They are working for somebody bigger.

They want to take over the town

I don't know

i'm worried about Nathan

idk they are the bad daddys of the season

they can only be there to cover up a crime, or some valuable find

No clue

They’re wanting to uproot Hope Valley for better business by destroying the town.

Keeping identity of mastermind safe from townspeople.

Maybe looking for Ned, who alternatively is a serial killer and now on the run. Possibly for the murder of Abigail's mother?

I’m so confused lol

Creating a monopoly & doing some villain nonsense (as it would seem the show is hinting).

Any other thoughts going into the finale?

No

There will be at least one surprise- not sure what

There are too many loose ends to tie up in one episode and I just want Elizabeth and Nathan together (and perhaps quickly married in this episode!)

I’m honestly really nervous, I’m rooting for Nathan but I have a feeling she’ll go for Lucas, I really don’t mind Lucas as a character but like what storylines can they do with them as a couple? The manuscript is finished, they’ve gone on every sort of date at this stage and she’s been in his office. What else can they do? With Nathan they can do the being scared because of his job again but making it different, there’s children involved now, it’s not just Elizabeth. Jack won’t understand but Allie will 100% feel worried for him. Also Allie having a mother figure, especially at this stage in her life, how could you not want it! The blended family as the main family would be so nice for this show, I know it’s been done before but they will be fairly front and centre in the show. Sorry for the rant, I love your blog so much! I don’t have tumblr so I can’t leave comments or like your gifs but I thoroughly enjoy all your theories and opinions!!

Just ready for this stupid love triangle to be over!

I’d love to actually see Henry meet up with Abigail, but doubt it. I hope they have Clara do something heroic for Jesse, but also doubt it. Henry will definitely be putting Hickam in charge at least temporarily. I think Ned will return but we won’t get a full explanation yet. And the dramatic ending won’t be the triangle choice, it’ll be Elizabeth losing the school.

Allie’s adoption finalized and reaction to Elizabeth choosing Nathan is something we should see.

Glad the triangle will be DONE!!

I hope that Elizabeth follows her heart and not pick someone who is a safe option.

I wish Faith were leaving instead of Carson. Also, I think there will be lots of set up for problems with the school board and Elizabeth. Also, I want more little Jack scenes but i don't think we'll get much since child acting laws and covid combined make that difficult

Excited for Elizabeth to move on from her past and enter a new adventure with either of the two men and really just everything else (Rosie and Lee, Fiona, Henry.)

I hope Faith doesn’t end up with whoever doesn’t get chosen by Elizabeth.

hopefully the finale will clear up the drawn out love triangle

The triangle was waaaaay drawn out. Be done and choose.

Nathan and Faith......would be great......

No matter who Elizabeth chooses I'm SOOOO READY to get this over with!

Kindness matters - no matter who she chooses. Isn't that why most of us watch the show

I am so over the love triangle and just want to know who Elizabeth picks.

Worried about the fandom more than anything

Elizabeth please pick Nathan

It's just a TV show and no matter what , it's there for our entertainment. I do think they're setting things up for the return of Abigail in some way.

The must be a Season 9!!!

I hope Fiona does not get involved with Mike.

Hopefully things get back to normal for Elizabeth and Rosemary

Interested to see the other storylines. I want Elizabeth to choose Nathan but I think JT will throw us off. From the promo pic, it looks like they will try to put Faith with Nathan.

- I just want Elizabeth to chose so that this storyline can come to an end and we can finally get to see her marriage and functioning has a wife. - Wonder what will become of Lucas once her choice is made. - I would like Lucas to have a proper storyline that doesn't involve Elizabeth or the love triangle. - I would love to see Rosemary and Lee finally become parents however that may happen. I feel like the writer just left them in limbo about it and keep teasing but never delivering on anything.

Hopefully will end with Nathan but the very last minute. I would prefer more romance before the finale

Elizabeth will have to decide on what’s important with school.

Jack might make an appearance in a dream scene?

So excited! I hope I don't wake up my kids while watching.

I hope they don’t pick Lucas

CLARA DISCOVERS SHE IS PREGNANT

?

Just excited for this to be over. I know we needed it and I think overall it was handled decent enough, but I'm glad to finally move on.

Why is everyone so scared?

The whole season has been about getting over your fear. Elizabeth doesn’t have to deal with her emotions or real life with Lucas because school is out for the summer and she is working on her book. She needs to make up with Rosemary and get over the loss of Jack and fear to be with Nathan.

this season has been totally not what I expected...I thought the hug at end of season 7 was definitive and we'd get at least some Nathan courtship, not a complete U-turn to Lucas (with hopefully a turn to Nathan at the very end). I now think Season 9 will be what I expected season 8 to be, and I am very much looking forward to that.

Something sudden will allow Elizabeth to bring her feelings to light for everyone...Nathan. I think she will have decided by the time she takes of the rings, but will not have the opportunity to share with the man until later. Until she faces the prospect of him being in danger again? Full circle from the end of S7.

I need Elizabeth to really apologize to Rosemary. Rosemary has always been there for Elizabeth.

I’m so afraid :(

Hated the triangle

I am so ready to finally move on from this triangle!

They put waaaay too many storyline in the last 2 episodes, they will never manage to conclude them all and we'll have another weird random cliffhanger which will not tie in with the Christmas episode (If we're getting one ?)

I hope the guy who loses, has a good life in later seasons

The annoying love triangle will finally end. Elizabeth/Nathan are endgame, unless Jack suddenly comes back from the dead. But, I doubt it. I hope Lee/Rosemary are pregnant, or decide to adopt children. I just want Lee/Rosemary to have children. Can't wait to see how this season ends. Hopefully, it won't be a cliffhanger.

Nervous as hell

Elizabeth and Nathan get married

i kinda hope someone dies tbh it would make everything more interesting

Elizabeth was so tiresome this season, they could have told her story of overcoming grief in a much more relatable way. Why did they not just have her talking to Rosemary about how sad or exhausted or numb or angry she feels all the time? You know, something a widow would actually go through. At the very least she could have been stoic, instead she was just kinda bitchy.

Faith and Nathan will have some sparks; Elizabeth will choose Lucas and they will kiss twice one being at bridge one being at her home inside with baby jack present.Carson will leave; Jessie will be found; Ned will come back safely.

Lucas endgame, Nathan and faith have sparks, Rosemary paper, Jessie and Clara make up.

I think Henry will take his own advice and leave to find Abigail to see if there is still any hope for them. Though I like his character, I want him to finally be happy, and if that means staying with Abigail, then that’s what it means. I don’t think TPTB will bring back Lori soooo.... that means Henry would be the one possibly leaving. I also think some scare will happen with Nathan between him and the Pinkertons. Then it may come full circle at the end where Elizabeth runs to him like she did last season, but instead of hugging him, she’ll kiss him instead.

Hallmark execs dictated ending and will cut salaries to bring back Abigail, hence Paul leaving.

My condolences to whichever guy gets to look forward to being bored by Elizabeth for the rest of his life. Are we sure Jack's death wasn't a suicide?

Ready to see how it ends and already looking forward to next season!

I will be really disappointed if she chooses Lucas but I’m afraid that’s where it’s headed. Either way I don’t understand how they’ll end in “the healthy place” they’ve said it will be with so much left for one episode.

[youtiaoshutiao]

传闻中的陈芊芊 thoughts

i haven’t been very active lately but i just came on to say, i binged on the romance of tiger and rose / 传闻中的陈芊芊 and have 2 eps left and i love it SO SO MUCH. i was expecting some pure crack but beyond that, i really ended up catching much feels for it?

and i think beyond the outlandish hilarity of some of the scenes and the cheeky meta, it’s actually a pretty decent drama with its plot and character motivations largely dictated by logic. i have to commend the scriptwriter nan zhen 南镇 for the entire set up of the drama (and it’s her original script!!! which is so rare in the industry nowadays run over by book adaptations - i mean i love those too but i still think it’s an easy way out for production companies when they adapt books with established fan bases). it’s actually really clever of her because all plot holes/flaws in world building can easily be attributed to xiaoqian’s lousy scriptwriting abilities?

i really did become quite impressed with the plot as the episodes progressed haha. the conflict and plot thickens as xiaoqian, now as qianqian, with the mindset that she’s not part of this story at all and that she’s interacting with a bunch of characters on paper, continues to engineer plot machinations trying to steer the plot in the right direction to get to the end so she can return back to the real world. and you slowly see how that just devolves into complete chaos and plot twists when surprise! she IS part of the story, she IS interacting with these characters and they are influenced by what she says and does! so you have her original male lead hanshuo, destined for the female lead chuchu, falling in love instead with her and changing his entire plan because of that. you have chuchu, the original female lead, slowly growing more unhinged as she perceives qianqian’s actions and words as callous and uncaring and outrightly antagonistic towards herself and as her resentment builds when everyone seems to shower affection and attention on qianqian still.

adding on to that is, how xiaoqian as a scriptwriter views and perceives her characters? some characters like hanshuo, she clearly constructed with much care and love, as seen by how she knows exactly how to make hanshuo happy and doesn’t want to upset him in the initial episodes (which caused him to fall for her like a devoted puppy). yet it seems like she either didn’t grasp fully their character motivations/personality/how their character is moulded by their backgrounds? which is why she probably didn’t see how the inherent difference with which her mother treats qianqian vs chuchu would lead to jealousy and resentment seeping in and poisoning chuchu’s heart. and her visualising han shuo as a murderous calculating career-driven male lead aka the male lead of eastern palace clearly runs contrary to how he is total putty and has barely hurt a fly ever since he fell in love with qianqian.

and there are characters too like her mother that she originally clearly just wrote in as characters to steer the plot forward, and in-world, she is clearly stricken when she realises how they have emotions and hidden depths beyond what she fathomed - like when her and her mother had that semi HTHT after she stole the dragon bone and her mum stayed by her bedchamber to watch over her all night. and another example would be su ziying - she’s so happy to see him when he appears as in that moment she’s viewing him from the lens of the scriptwriter of this story and she knows he’s going to push the plot forward. but seeing him and his actions actually playing out - she gets irritated by what he does and also his actions actually do end up affecting her, because she is in the story too!!!

and moving on from that, as the plot further progresses, another spanner is thrown into the mix when she realises that male lead is really really in love with her! and would give up everything for her! and... she too is in love with him!! and this changes things too because while initially all her actions were to push the plot to move forward the way she originally wrote it so that she can head back, now she’s actively trying to push back against the flow of events, as she’s now emotionally invested in this and doesn’t want the male lead to die as per her original script.

the play out of all these was really really entertaining and gripping to watch?? i was legitimately bowled over by how affected i was when all the angst came in, because it really felt like it made sense amidst all the crack and was well set up? and throughout it all, the actions of all the main players in the plot made sense and were logical, even the secondary leads chuchu and peiheng. haha idek if i’m ascribing too much credit to this whole plot, maybe it’s really just meant to be a cracky fun time and i’m too into it HAHA.

there’s also the set up of huayuan city being a matriarchal society where basically the roles of women and men are reversed. it is really v trippy!!! and An Experience to see scenes like men being harrassed by women, people tittering at other men for not being covered up enough in public, wares that can increase your chances of birthing a female heir being peddled on the streets. initially i was kind of apprehensive as to how it was going to play out. now at ep 22 where they’ve gone to xuanhu city which is patriarchal the conversation regarding gender roles and gender equality is continuing!! but i shall reserve my thoughts and comments till the entire arc plays out.

but beyond all that, the drama is just so much fun fun funnnnn!!!! i loveddddd seeing how this drama about a scriptwriter getting stuck in her own script had scenes interspersed with storytellers on the street retelling qianqian’s exploits and qianqian’s regular meetups with the storytellers/opera writers to discuss how the plot of the drama was going or even the scene where hanshuo and peiheng went to the opera house for their male lead showdown and the opera characters were there saying all the rude things they wanted to say to each other. such fun meta?? breaking the fourth wall?? satire?? idek LOL i just know i enjoyed it thoroughly

and lastly, apart from all the thinky thinky stuff, i’m thoroughly charmed by the otp HAHA. i loveeeee qianqian so much and zhao lusi is soo effortlessly adorable and natural and charming in this role that i can totally see why everyone from han shuo to her mother is enamoured by her. i actually am really curious also to see how qianqian before xiaoqian transmigrated into her body was like - seeing how her servant didn’t seem to have any whiplash from an extreme change in personality suggest that maybe qianqian wasn’t all that different from xiaoqian?? and probably might not have been that spoilt/callous/havoc-wreaking as everyone perceives her to be?

and han shuo too is SO entertaining and funny and darling - when he first came to huayuan city he’s all “i’m cunning and smart and i’m going to MANIPULATE EVERYBODY for my/xuan hu city’s benefit” and “i want chen qianqian to die with ten thousand arrows through her heart!! i want her to be stabbed by knives three thousand times!! not a single time less!!!” and “do you think i don’t dare to kill you?!”. then he falls in love with her and instantly he’s all puppy eyes and utter devotion. IT’S DELICIOUS. ding yuxi really makes staring at your FL like she’s the only one in the world an art form. and as one comment on a bilibili mv said regarding han shuo’s supposed bloodlust, “han shuo, up to this point you’ve only killed one horse” HAHA

(keep in mind that it’s not even that han shuo ordered the killing of this horse, it was his subordinate that killed it on his behalf, and han shuo was Not Happy about it after that!)

together the otp are even more adorable!!! it’s teeth rotting fluff but yet it comes off very earnest and adorable without being cloying. i was literally clutching my heart and grinning at the screen dopily at some scenes. and even though the otp dynamic and character setups are not really the same, the way the two of them bicker and act like children around each other kind of remind me of yongqi and xiaoyanzi from hzgg for some reason lol.

and apart from the otp, there are a whole host of supporting characters that are really very funny and adorable and entertaining to watch haha. special shoutout to both han shuo and qianqian’s subordinates who are HILARIOUS and plain Done with their masters’ nonsense (especially bai ji who really just wants to get shit done okay!! but his master just keeps on wanting to fall in love and date!!) there’s also qianqian’s older sister yuanyuan who is disabled and on a wheelchair, and with a sad yet somehow hilarious penchant for writing multiple drafts of her will. and her otp, su mu, a courtesan (yes the courtesans in this city are all male).

honestly i’m not sure where i’m going with this, i just briefly scanned through what i’ve written so far and lol seems like paragraphs of illogical incoherent rambling. I’m sorry it’s 5am over here i’m not really thinking straight T_T i just have a lot of feels for this drama okay ;_____;

[livefordrama]

Reviewing Dramas I Have Watched Part 6

It’s been a while; I haven’t been able to watch a lot between school and just life. Not to mention the time I do have is spent doing buddy watches of kdramas I have already seen with my friends and family (On teleparty of course.) Again, here is my rating system:  1- Did not like, 2- Enjoyed but probably wouldn’t watch again, 3- Enjoyed and would watch some episodes again (or for movies may watch again), 4- Enjoyed and would watch again, 5- Loved

Korean Drama

Melting Me Softly: 3/5

Melting Me Softly is about a guy and s girl who get cryogenically frozen for an experiment for what was meant to be only a day. Unfortunately, something happens, and the 24-hour experiment turns into 20 years. Now they have to deal with the changes of not only their family and friends but the world and society as a whole all while trying to uncover the darker secrets behind the experiments.

I gave this a 3 because while the earlier and later episodes were amazing and hilarious, the episodes in the middle of the season bored me. I am not much of a romance person unless it is either subtle or played out a specific way and the romance in this wasn’t my personal cup of tea so it just got boring for me. On its good episodes though, it was funny, sad, and cute. I really did like the dynamic between the two main characters and the romance is pretty good, just a little slower in the middle of the series. The relationships with the family members of the two were so cute and so sad, I loved the all the scenes where the mains got to interact with their families. I did feel awkward and weird about the second-lead, I’m not sure if he counts as a second lead but for lack of a better term that’s what I’m calling him. I love Choi Bo-Min as an actor, and it had nothing to do with his acting, just the whole situation was uncomfortable to me. That other guy who doesn’t even deserve to be the second-lead, if you watch it you know, the stalker one, I despise that man. Not once during the entire show did I like one of his scenes. That could be why I didn’t enjoy the middle scenes as much cause he found a way to worm his way into almost every scene and I would get so annoyed with him. This show does have its good points and bad points, so I would recommend it for those who like romance with a little bit of suspense and humor.

Welcome to Waikiki (season 1): 3/5

Welcome to Waikiki is about a group of friends who own and attempt to run a guesthouse together. When they find a baby left behind in one of their rooms, they have to find out how to take care of her and find her mother. This becomes even more complicated when the mother returns in tears saying she had no where else to go and didn’t want her baby to suffer. After hearing about her troubles, they decide to take the two in, in exchange for help working at the guesthouse. It follows the group and mother as they try to figure out how to take care of a baby, save their failing guesthouse, and achieve their own dreams, all while falling in love.

This show was hilarious, I watched it because everyone was talking about how funny it was and I agree. I especially love how it focused on all the characters instead of picking just one or two and focusing on them. I love when shows really work on all their characters and this show played it out so well. Not one was neglected and I didn’t feel like any of them were underdeveloped by the end, and Sol was super cute! I loved every single one of her scenes, she was so funny and sassy and I know she is just a baby but she is amazing. I watched some episodes on the tv and my sisters even made comments on how cute she was when they looked up at the TV, even though they didn’t watch it. I enjoyed the ending and how it all played out and tied together nicely. 

It was a delight for the first two thirds of the season. However, yet again that romance hit and the humor kinda dissipated to be replaced by the romance for a good few episodes. While it was admittedly cute, and I adored the romance scenes in the last few episodes, most romance scenes gave me such second-hand embarrassment I had to pause the show for a while and gain the courage to restart it. I did enjoy it but would probably only ever rewatch the first two thirds and maybe the last two or so episodes. It reminds me of Love With Flaws in the second-hand embarrassment romance scenes, so if you enjoyed that show, definitely give this one a chance. If you like romance, humor, and can handle the second-hand embarrassment stuff I highly recommend this one! It’s super cute and hilarious!

Missing Nine: 5/5                                

Trigger Warning: Plane crash, Blood, Injuries, Suicide attempts, Murder

Missing Nine is about a girl who gets hired as a stylist for an arrogant and cold idol. On her first day, the plane they are all riding on to an event crashes on a vacant island. Only nine of them survive the crash and must now fight to survive and be found all while struggling with the betrayal of one of their friends who began to murder them one by one.

I really enjoyed this one, it was my perfect type of show; angst, suspense, subtle romance, crime, found family. The only issue I had with it was the unrealistic ending, I just don’t understand how it is possible and don’t know how I even personally feel about it. I am also probably one of the very few people who didn’t watch it for Chanyeol, don’t get me wrong I am an Exol too, but like really new Exol. You can skip this parenthesis if you want, it’s a kpop tangent. (I am a huge multistan. I love all the kpop groups I have listened to so far and have all the dalcomsoft games minus Gfriend even though I love them, cause I feel like it’s going to be a BTS superstar and get deleted so it’s not worth my time or efforts. Feel free to talk to me about any group and any member. If I don’t know them, I would be happy to find new ones so even if they are not well known or new, don’t feel worried about squealing to me about them, I would love to make kpop/kdrama loving friends.) I watched for Jung Kyung-ho and only when I started did I see Chanyeol which was cool to find. This also means POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT I wasn’t disappointed or biased after a certain episode like many of the people I saw raging in the Tvtime comments, not saying this in a bad way just stating that since I am neutral on certain events, I will be focusing on specifically the plot and how I felt about said plot versus how I feel about characters. SPOILER ALERT OVER

Overall I really loved this show, it was certainly an emotional roller coaster. I felt that it could have had a second season or a spin off to tie up that last little cliffhanger but I personally and satisfied with how the main issue wrapped up, other than that one weird ending scene. If you like angst, suspense, crime, and a little romance seen in an enemies to lover type of trope then I highly recommend this show. I gave it a 5 cause I personally loved it and am already planning on rewatching it with my friend. It does have a lot of blood and injuries so if you are sensitive to that, I wouldn’t recommend it to you. 

Because this is my first life: 5/5

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Attempted R@pe (but it didn’t get far at all, just be careful)

Because this is my first life is about a woman (Ji-ho) who has to find a new place to live as her brother is getting married and her parents gave the son the apartment that they had bought for both their children. Because of many misunderstandings and coincidences, she accidentally rents a new apartment with a very strict and stoic man (Se-hee). Due to more problems, the two come to an agreement that they should get married since they both can gain something from it. The woman gains a place to stay and the man gains a tenant to help pay the bills, no more, no less.

Okay, so while I said that I didn’t like romance this is the exception, much like Shopping King Louie, it was just a really cute slow burn that I thoroughly enjoyed watching. Many people in the fandom, on TV time at least, were giving Se-hee a hard time and saying he was using and manipulating Ji-ho but I didn’t see it that way. She consented and never voiced anything other than that and the deal was for her to stay in the apartment since she needed a place to live and he needed someone to help pay bills. He didn’t ask for anything more, she was already following his schedule before the marriage issue and was just fine and accepting when they decided to get married. Neither had any expectations of falling in love, they just both needed something that marriage would help them gain and both consented to it. Later on, Se-hee even asked her if any advances were okay and backed off when they weren’t with no questions asked which I find admirable. Okay, rant over. It was cute and at times annoying cause you just want them to get together already. I laughed so hard in so many episodes and cried in a few too. The cat was so adorable and I love the interactions the main’s had with the little fluff. The best, and sometimes most painful, bonding moments between the main’s were the ones that dealt with the cat. I wasn’t too fond of the love triangle but was pleased with how it actually played out with the two women actually accepting each others presence instead of being horrible to each other for the most part. Highly recommend it to any romance lovers, and especially to those who are fans of shows like Shopping King Louie as mentioned above.

Flower boy next door: 3/5

Trigger Warning: Stalking, Panic Attacks, Sensory overload, Bullying, Teacher Crushes and Manipulation of Such

Flower boy next door follows Dok-mi, a young woman with crippling social anxiety to the point she never leaves her apartment. From her window she watches her across the street male neighbor every day, taking note of his entire schedule. This all comes back to bite her when her neighbor’s brother comes to visit from Spain and catches her. What starts as an attempt to make her stop stalking her brother, quickly progresses into a mission to help her overcome her past, anxiety, and to get out of the house and adapt back to a healthy social life. As this mission goes on the two begins to realize they have feelings for each other, but Dok-mi’s own next-door neighbor has his own mission of getting her to stay inside and fall in love with him. He has been writing a web comic about her being a modern Rapunzel and has been in love with her for many years.

I enjoyed this one, I watched it cause the actor from Psychopath Diary starred in it and it was really cute. The romance was adorable, and the whole telepathy thing was a great addition that made me laugh. I love the whole adorable dork male with quiet cold girl trope so much. I didn’t like the whole stalking situation very much, it’s just kinda weird and was something that made me really uncomfortable during the first few episodes. I wasn’t a huge fan of the next-door neighbor, he just seemed like an enabler to me and I found myself angry through most of his scenes, as well as through most of Dok-mi’s childhood friend’s scenes. Other than those two characters, I enjoyed it well enough. I know some people can get annoyed by each characters flaws but I usually am good with morally grey characters as long as they learn from their mistakes. Some did in this show and there was a lot of character development and some didn’t which is realistic but makes me kind of sad. I recommend it to people who like a cute romance show with some angst and don’t mind morally grey characters.

Web-drama/Mini-series

Ghost Vros: 4/5

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Death, Some gore, Jump scares.

Ghost Vros follows two young men who are trying to start up a business where they hunt ghosts using virtual reality software. The main character is able to sense the ghost through his ears turning red and his friend programs the virtual realty to make sure the main has everything he needs to catch the ghosts.

I liked this one, it was fast like many web dramas are, but really interesting. I did attempt to translate it myself with my, admittedly little, Korean knowledge before finding the English subs (which you won’t be able to find now that Youtube has rudely removed community subs, unless it’s uploaded somewhere else. If someone finds it please let me know.) I was always engaged during the show and wasn’t bored at any point. It did have some confusing points and I wish we got more backstory as there was mentions of some interesting things that was never explored further, but it is a web drama, so that is more than likely too much to ask for. Recommend to anyone who enjoys a quick comedy ghost story.

 Cats Taste and Cat Bartender: 5/5

Cat’s Taste and Cat Bartender follow three cat gods who run a bar at night to make money for their injured owner. At this bar, they give upset humans cocktails which enable them to either posses said human or go into a dream world, this isn’t really clear, and correct the issue in exchange for items the cats find interesting on top of the alcohol cost.

This show was so cute, I absolutely loved and couldn’t stop smiling. I got the first season, Cat’s Taste, on my youtube recommend and decided to watch it since I was bored. I am so glad I did, I got super excited when I saw that there is a second season as well and spent forever trying to hunt it down before a kind person on MyDramaList put a link to the English subs in a comment (if anyone needs it, I will be happy to send it.) Both seasons were amazing, and I am hoping for a season three as the ending looks like it might be set up for one. The way they showed the bartending moves was so pretty and satisfying and I liked how all three cats got to show their moves instead of just the one.  I don’t like alcohol, have tried many kinds many times to but just don’t, however this show makes me want to drink the mixed drinks even though I know I would hate the taste.

Also, is it just me or does Ms. Hana remind anyone of Johnny from NCT? I don’t know if she looks like him or what, sometimes someone reminds me of someone else and the two look nothing alike. Don’t know what that’s all about but let me know because I could not shake the feeling that she reminded me of Mr. Johnny from Chicago. Anyway, tangent aside, I highly recommend to someone who like a quick but cute drama.

Korean Movies

Beautiful Vampire: 3/5

Beautiful Vampire is about a female vampire who tries to avoid people due to her nature, but has all that shattered when she runs into her landlady’s son one night and begins to fall in love.

This movie was pretty good, but a little confusing. I couldn’t even write a proper plot explanation cause I was just so confused. I honestly felt like a fever dream, though a relatively interesting fever dream. I wish we had more information and backstory cause it just kinda felt like a rollercoaster ride of pining. It ended okay; I mean I was bored at the time, so it was something to do. If I am bored in the future, I might watch it again. I agree with most on TvTime when they say, it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good, it was just something to do. I feel like the story line needed more work done and that it ended too fast and progressed in such a way that it was hard to follow. If you are bored or have nothing to do, give it a try, you might like it more than I did.

Chinese Drama

Take My Brother Away: 3/5

Trigger Warning: Alcohol Abuse

Take My Brother Away is based on a web comic about two siblings living with their alcoholic, debtor father in China, after their mom filed for a divorce and left. It follows the two as they go to school, work, and try to live a normal life. The sister hates her brother for being lazy and not being able to help her get what she wants, and the brother gets annoyed at the sister for always getting violent with him and nagging him.

I loved this one, it was really interesting to see the dynamic between the family. I felt that the brother should have been given more credit in the beginning for all he does for his sister and I felt really sorry for the sister because she just wanted to be like the other students who could afford to read web comics or go on trips. Some episodes were hilarious, some were heartbreaking, some were admittedly annoying, some gave me secondhand embarrassment. I just love it all, the only reason I give it a three is because I wouldn’t watch all 50 episodes again, I loved it but some were more on the boring side like filler episodes and I just, don’t think I’ll ever watch the whole series again. I can defiantly say however, I will probably watch most of the episodes again. I enjoyed the ending though it was admittedly on the strange side, and felt it was wrapped up nicely. There was a lot of character development too which is always great. I recommend this to those who enjoy some dysfunctional family humor and some angst and who are able to commit to long seasons.

 Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

[intrulogical]

Enough

author’s note: remember when i said i wasn’t going to write ever again? well, i lied. here’s another long fic about remus and logan being personally attacked by the other sides, lmao. this is a somewhat sequel to my fic worthy and reading that would help me a lot because some stuff in this fic is only explainable if you read that one first. anyway, this fic is more romantic, softer, yet angsty all at once, and i hope you enjoy it. special thanks to the logang discord for your help again, especially to orb, aj, jem, remy, kei, el, anders, lo, rem, and raph! (to those i didn’t mentioned, i still love u ok <3)

pairings: Remus/Logan (this time it’s more romantic)

warnings: remus typical stuff, swearing (remus says fuck a lot), religious talk (remus and logan do not have good experiences with thomas's catholic upbringing and i'm self projecting), morally gray light sides (they do not appear but logan and remus dislike them), light sides negativity (again, logan and remus hate them), self-esteem issues, and slightly nsfw comments coming from remus.

word count: 7242

summary: His relationship with Remus was difficult to describe, to say the least. Logan recognized that Remus was probably the closest thing he had to a genuine friend in this hell of a Mindscape, but at some point, there was a definite shift in their relationship, and Logan couldn’t find a proper word to describe it.

But even if they were close friends, Logan wasn’t sure if he was able to provide everything a stable friendship needed. He just wasn’t used to it. Moreover, his inability to defend Remus during the argument earlier just proved that he was— dare he said it— a worthless friend.

Logan picked up the pace of his mug-tapping as he buried his face further onto the table, his arm resting underneath his head. 

Why did everything have to be so complicated?

or,

After an argument between Thomas and the "Light" Sides, Logan and Remus seek comfort in each other. Plate throwing and discussions of their relationship ensues.

(ao3 link)

Logan numbly prodded on the mug he borrowed that stood useless on the kitchen’s counter. 

(He was literally able to prepare the hot chocolate with jittery palms, but how come every time he tried to take a sip, his glitches decided to betray him and let the hot liquid spill onto his shirt?)

Grumbling to himself, he clenched his hand as certain parts of his palm began to twitch and dematerialize, transforming into odd shapes of flashing colors. Logan knew digging his nails into his palm wouldn’t have done anything to make the glitching vanish, but at this point, he was so frustrated in himself that he didn’t really give a fuck.

He was just so foolish for believing in Thomas, so foolish for thinking that Thomas would have stopped ignoring him. Thomas has neglected him continuously for the past thirty years and Logan was just so tremendously stupid for thinking it would have all ceased now. Admittedly, Thomas was peer pressured into agreeing to the other sides’ reasoning over Logan’s during the argument earlier, but Logan still felt immensely infuriated that Thomas didn’t acknowledge his points despite being presented with multiple facts coming from Logan.

Logan should have just remained pessimistic from this point onwards. Thomas’s neglect for him has never changed and never will, and it would have endlessly persisted if Thomas’s unconscious bias for the other three “Light” Sides remained.

With Thomas’s growing neglect, Logan’s dilemma would have only worsened further. Initially, Logan’s glitches would have only been triggered if he was in his room, but the situation has gotten so severe that Logan didn’t even need to be in his room to experience them. Logan considered discussing the issue more prominently with Thomas, but there was a niggling feeling inside of him that made him hesitant to approach Thomas altogether. Logan abandoned the idea of discussing it thoroughly with the rest of his “FamILY” as well, as they have openly shown their distaste towards him constantly. Logan even feared that the others wouldn’t even be concerned about his wellbeing unless he has reached rock bottom, but he really didn’t want to imagine a corrupted state of himself that was overridden with glitches and errors.

This left Logan in a figurative loop where he will constantly be disregarded which, in consequence, would have worsened his glitches, and that cycle would’ve been repeated until he would be stripped of the “Light” Side title. Logan from the past would’ve been fearful of being pushed into the darkness, but as he lamented about his problems daily, he exasperatedly accepted his inevitable demise.

The “Dark” Sides had a more stylish interior anyway, so maybe it wasn’t all that bad. After all, he was currently staying in their kitchen to escape the chaotic, sporadic glitches that have invaded his own room. 

(But he also was there for another reason, of course.)

But even if he had grown accustomed to the idea that he was becoming a “Dark” Side, he was still uncertain if they were going to accept his presence with open arms. He and Orange still loathed one another to an unhealthy amount, while the friendship he shared with Janus was extremely… odd. They had moments where they were fond of each other’s company (poor Janus has been living with lunatics for most of his life) but at times, Janus gave him the cold shoulder, and Logan was unsure if it was him simply joking around or being genuine.

And Remus. 

Logan tapped nervously on the mug as he thought of the boisterous yet lovable maniac.

His relationship with Remus was difficult to describe, to say the least. Logan recognized that Remus was probably the closest thing he had to a genuine friend in this hell of a Mindscape, but at some point, there was a definite shift in their relationship, and Logan couldn’t find a proper word to describe it.

But even if they were close friends, Logan wasn’t sure if he was able to provide everything a stable friendship needed. He just wasn’t used to it. Moreover, his inability to defend Remus during the argument earlier just proved that he was— dare he said it— a worthless friend.

Logan picked up the pace of his mug-tapping as he buried his face further onto the table, his arm resting underneath his head. 

Why did everything have to be so complicated?

“Fuck,” he heard a voice coming from the staircase behind him, “Hey asshat, sorry I’m late!” the voice continued, sounding partly enthusiastic and partly exhausted as they hurriedly descended the flight of stairs. 

“Remus, you’ve dubbed these little meetings ‘Late Night Hangouts’— they’re supposed to be late.”

“Hardy fuckin’ har,” Remus replied as he shoved his hands into his hoodie’s pockets while approaching the kitchen. Despite looking incredibly ragged (to be fair, when was he never?), he still managed to maintain his flamboyant saunter. “Okay but, seriously though. Orange was being such a fucking prick, and that argument earlier wasn’t helping. I just— I’m just fucking—” Remus inhaled sharply, “God. Tonight was too fucking much.”

Logan’s eyebrows knitted together worriedly as he eyed the green-clad side, “I… apologize. I should’ve been able to mitigate the situation earlier but I foolishly allowed my temper to cloud my thinking.” Logan said with a guilty expression as a constricting feeling wrapped around his throat. Remus responded with a confused look as one of the tentacles that protruded from his back began rummaging through the cupboards. Logan assumed he was getting a drink for himself as well.

“Ironic how those bastards wanted you to show your emotions but when you finally get to do it, they get pissed.” Remus said exasperatedly as he took a seat on the kitchen table rather instead of grabbing a stool for himself, “It’s like that one episode with the puppets where they act like everything is your fault when you literally aren’t one to blame—“

“But I—“

“—’But I handled the argument badly, yadda yadda,’. Yeah, no, Logan, this isn’t your fault.” Remus said sympathetically as one of his tentacles rubbed Logan’s shoulder to provide comfort. 

“‘M still sorry,” Logan said faintly and Remus’s eyebrows knit together.

“Hey, it’s alright, dork,” Remus said calmly, “I know you won’t stop apologizing, so I’m gonna make this loud and clear— I forgive you.” Remus said, enunciating the latter part of the statement dramatically, causing Logan to snort. Remus grinned at the logical side, proud at himself for being able to make Logan crack up. He then added, “It’s not all your fault anyway— I should’ve grabbed my morning star and popped in before Janus had the chance to pull me away. Fuckin’ Janus,” 

Logan chuckled before replying, “To be fair, Janus was probably correct for restricting you from participating. Judging by your sullen cheeks and reddened eyes, I predict you wouldn’t have lasted long arguing before you break down sobbing in front of the others.”

One of Remus’s other tentacles slammed a mug on his side while another started mixing in the instant hot chocolate powder and the hot water from the pitcher. Logan could only quirk an eyebrow at him, “Hey, I thought you were here to be my source of comfort, you traitor.” Remus replied with a pout.

Logan let out a smirk, “I still am, and I’m saying that you listening to Janus’s advice was a commendable move, so you're not the one to blame.” Logan said, earning a huff from Remus, “But are you okay now?” asked Logan.

Remus pursed his lips before replying, “Better now, but I don’t think my state isn’t as bad as…” Remus gestured at the glitching particles surrounding Logan, “...that.” Remus continued, and this time, it was Logan who huffed.

“Believe me when I say that I’m completely fine,”

“Yeah… no, you look terrible.”

“Same as you.”

“I aim to look like trash anyway, so…” Remus retorted but Logan looked at him incredulously, “What, do you want me to vent?”

“I believe it was you who said, ‘Venting’s like blowjobs, Logan, it makes you feel good and have some sort of release’.” Logan stated, giving a scarily accurate impersonation of Remus, which consequently made the impersonated side cackle loudly, “You seemed to have encountered an issue with Orange right after your talk with Janus, so I am certain you still have some bottled up frustrations within you.” 

Remus took a sip of his hot chocolate and rolled his eyes, “Fine, okay, you’re right. Frankly, I am still pissed at S— Orange,” Remus quickly corrected himself, “But if I vent, do you promise on your dead body to open up to me as well?”

“I assure you I’m—”

“Logan ‘Logic’ Sanders,” Remus said scoldingly, “You act as if I totally did not hear your outbursts a while ago. Moreover, I thought we were over the whole ‘keep secrets from one another’ thing? I admitted to you that the snake infestation in the Mindscape was entirely my fault and not Janus’s and— and I also told you about that time I decided to be a bit cynical and bury my beating heart under the floorboards just to scare the shit out of Virgil and Roman, so it’s unfair if you keep any secrets from me when I could literally be arrested for confessing all of my crimes to you! If, y’know, this was real life, but whatever, you still understand what I’m saying here, right?”

Logan sighed tiredly, “I suppose you’ve a point.” Logan said, and Remus looked pleased for a moment until Logan continued, “But, while I still insist that I don’t have much to— er, ‘vent’ about, I will only do it if and only if you go first.” 

Remus immediately looked annoyed by Logan’s offer but merely sighed in acceptance. Logan, on the other hand, smiled at him smugly. “Fine, whale penis,” Remus said, taking a dramatically long sip of his beverage, “You promise?”

Logan nodded, “We aren’t children, Remus, but yes, I promise.”

And with that, Remus set his mug aside next to Logan’s unused one and rested his hands on the table. He gazed upwards as he seemed to ponder where he was going to start as Logan merely stared at him intently. Eventually, after much pondering, Remus began, “Y’know, sometimes I wonder if Orange hates me.”

“What makes you think of that?”

“Well, we both know he represents Thomas’s beliefs, right? Superstitious, religious, supernatural, whatever, but let’s focus on the religious part of it.” Remus explained, “When Thomas’s Catholicism is ever discussed, he gets so weirdly aggressive and powerful and blunt about his feelings. Like, I love harsh honesty as much as the next person but he literally won’t shut the fuck up about how disgustingly ‘sinful’ I am.”

“That’s a bit… rude.”

“I know right! Beyond rude!” Remus exclaimed, “And most of the time, it doesn’t bother me, but that mixed with Thomas and the other three White Sides—”

“It’s ‘Light’ Sides—”

“Whatever, white people suck and they suck too, so technically, I’m not wrong.” Remus grumbled, earning an amused half-smile from Logan, “But back to the point— I just don’t understand why people like to— uh— like to paint me as—” Remus took a sharp yet shaky inhale, “—as a villain. I mean, yeah, I know I’m gross and lewd and everything God would condemn, but it wasn’t— it isn’t my fault that I’m like this. Do they…” Remus swallowed thickly, “Do they understand how cruel the first ten years of my life are? The hate they have for me does n-not compare to the hate I had for myself for most of my life. Even now, I— sometimes I—” 

Remus wasn’t able to finish his sentence as lip trembled harshly. With Remus’s eyes becoming glossier by the second, Logan decided to muster enough courage within him to raise his hand and put it atop Remus’s, thumbing soothing circles in the hopes that it’ll provide him some comfort. Remus blinked twice before intertwining his fingers with Logan instead, holding it dearly as if it was a lifeline.

“Why is it so hard for them to understand that while Thomas’s Catholic upbringing could be good, it’s also so…”

“Detrimental? Harmful?” Logan offered.

“Yeah, that, thanks.” Remus said, chuckling at Logan, “And even if they wanna defend it, why do they have to drag me into every damn conversation? I’m not the side that represents sin, thank you very much. Sometimes they all just act like Karen’s to me. What’re they gonna do next, blame me for Thomas being vaccinated? I bet Patton is this close from forcing Thomas to drink some radioactive mushroom-citrus essential oil.” Remus joked with a broken smile, but with one stern look from Logan, he reverted back to what he was originally rambling about.

“Sorry, I just— do they not understand the fucking work I do so that Thomas wouldn’t experience intrusive thoughts 24/7? Do they forget that without me, Virgil or Roman or, shit, even Patton could have their fair share of intrusive thoughts? Why do people think that all I do is fuck everything when I’m so much more than filthy jokes and violence? I just wanna— I just want to be viewed as their equal, is that too much to ask?” Remus finished his rant with an extremely peeved yet heartbroken expression, his lips forming a thin line as his nose crinkled sourly. Despite the tone of finality, Remus’s fingers still had not stopped fidgeting within Logan’s grasp. 

Logan understood that Remus also had his fair share of troubles concerning intrusive thoughts— Logan even thought that Remus’s dilemma was vastly more horrendous than Thomas’s situation. One visit to Remus’s room was enough to convince Logan that Thomas’s situation was absolutely nothing compared to Remus.

Logan also understood that out of all the other sides, Remus was the most misunderstood; it’s something they both have in common. While Remus is described to be naturally uncaring and crass, he understood there was much more to him than what meets the eye. He was relentlessly vigorous, but he was also fragile and delicate. He was described as stupid and excessively foolish, but deep within, he’s brilliant and passionate, yet no one seems to credit him for that. 

Lastly, Logan also understood that Remus was the only side that saw something in him. He had a genuine fondness and affection for Logan, and while they didn’t like putting labels on what they had, Logan cherished it nonetheless.

(And Logan also knew that while he was content with where they were now, moments like this reminded him that he also feared about not being enough for Remus. But of course, he didn’t want to say that.)

“Remus,” Logan said, “One or two?”

Logan developed a helpful method to use whenever one of them is feeling low. It was simple: one meant you’d want the other party to say something to comfort you, and two meant you didn’t need to be told anything and you just needed the other’s presence to help you calm down.

“One and a half.” Remus said unhelpfully.

“What?” Logan said, getting caught off-guard, “Rounded off, that would be two.” 

Remus pouted, “Nerd.” and Logan shrugged as if he was saying ‘and what?’. “What I mean is, I’d prefer one, but like, a bit toned down? I don’t need an entire powerpoint presentation like what you did last time.” 

“Then you should’ve said zero point five, or simply referring to it as one-half would do as well.”

“I’m gay, Logan, I don’t fuck with math!”

“We’re both gay, Remus.” Logan retorted. “But back to the topic at hand: you’re valid for who you are, Remus. What the others say about you doesn’t matter at all when they literally don’t have much evidence or experiences to backup their claims. You are generous, caring, and quite frankly, tremendously fun, and while I cannot specify every occasion to support this claim because you wanted me to be as concise as possible, you know you should believe me more than any other side in this Mindscape. Besides that point, words cannot describe how grateful I am for you. I wouldn’t exchange who you are now for anything else.”

While desperately trying to compose his sudden quickened heartbeat, he chanced gazing at Remus’s direction. Remus appeared to be less crestfallen but the glossiness in his eyes returned for a different reason. The hand that was gripping Logan’s tightened as Remus raised one of his tentacles to wipe a tear that escaped his eyelids.

“Remus… are you alright?” Logan inquired, and Remus rapidly nodded his head with bubbled cheeks in an attempt to restrict more tears from falling.

“Yes, one hundred percent, doing absolutely fine.” Remus replied, “You’re such a fucking sap that I could literally eat you alive,” added Remus, gaining a bemused look from Logan.

“I am unsure of whether to be terrified or flattered but thank you…?” Logan replied, “I wasn’t aware I was being a sap— I was simply being intellectually honest with you.”

Somehow, that made Remus even more emotional. Logan internally panicked, thinking he had done something incorrectly, but then, one of Remus’s tentacles wrapped around his neck, slowly pulling his head closer to Remus’s chest. As Logan’s forehead leaned against Remus’s hoodie, he smiled fondly at Remus’s sudden affection. Even Remus’s tentacles couldn’t help themselves as they began combing and playing with Logan’s hair tenderly. “You’re too precious, I can’t believe you.” Remus said.

“Well, you’re quite welcome, Remus.” Logan replied, “I’m not quite sure what I said in particular that would elicit this sort of reaction from you. While I do know you are a touchy-feely kind of person, you do not typically get this affectionate with every conversation…” Logan paused, “But I do like it. Keep doing it.”

Remus laughed at Logan, somewhat impressed by his appreciation, “You sound like you’ve never been hugged before.” 

“Well… I receive them, but just rarely— Patton and Roman used to be my main sources, but they’ve barely given me any offers nowadays. On the rare occasion that they do, their offers would come off as disingenuous, so I usually decline them.” Logan explained, trying to disguise the hurt he was feeling. But somehow, Remus saw through it, just like he mysteriously, always does.

“Sounds like you have something you want to talk about.” Remus said, slowly releasing Logan from his tight grasp. Despite the loosened grip, Logan still willed to remain physically close to the other side. Something about Remus provided him with an unfamiliar yet soothing feeling of warmth and ease. If Logan were to be ‘sappy’ like how Remus dubbed him to be, he would have described Remus as a figurative atom as Logan would’ve been the electrons surrounding him. There was something so compelling about him, something so magnetic, and Logan couldn’t help but be pulled closer to him, couldn’t help but revolve his entire being around him.

(There was also a meddling feeling within him that nagged that this metaphor meant Logan was also someone who was “negatively charged”, but in Logan’s defense, this was the first time he ever tried using a metaphor— cut him some slack.)

“Well, sorta kinda,” Logan replied, not letting his thoughts distract him. He sighed before continuing, “I mean, mentally, I think I’m utterly drained.”

“We been knew, sis,” Remus replied.

“Is that— what does that mean?” Logan’s eyes narrowed. 

“Oh, uh, it just means like, ‘we’ve known that for a long time’.” Remus explained, “I forget that you’re literally the most boomer person I’ve ever met, but nevermind that, just go on.” 

Logan sighed and continued, “It’s difficult for me to recognize if I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown, mostly because I have not allowed myself to be thoroughly acquainted with my emotions, but ever since you’ve assisted me in understanding how my feelings work, I’ve suddenly realized that I have… not been okay for most of my life. Despite having your support, I still feel deeply terrified because I am usually uncertain of how horrendous my problems have gotten.

“And the fact that the others dismiss me nonchalantly doesn’t ease my troubling thoughts either. I don’t know if I’m overthinking, but I’ve noticed that their interactions with me are borderline manipulative. At times, they like to coax me into thinking that they know what’s best for me, or they accept me for who I am, but then a few moments later, I learn that they’re only being courteous because they want to utilize me for a certain issue they want to resolve.”

While fiddling with his fingers in an attempt to alleviate the unsettling emotions that arose within him, Remus spoke up, “Is that what happened a while ago, and why you got all pissy at them?”

Logan nodded with a disheartened expression, “It isn’t the first time this happened, so of course I’d be pushed towards my breaking point. I practically had to voice out my frustrations even if I know that they won’t listen to me anyway.” Logan stated, quite agitated, “It also distresses me to no end that they frequently add Thomas into these conversations. I know Thomas’s intentions are pure but when being told something repetitively, Thomas would eventually believe in what they say over what I say.”

“But doesn’t that, y’know, worsen…” Remus gestured to the flickering polygons encircling Logan, “this?”

Logan hummed, “While it doesn’t bother me as much as it did the first time around, it unfortunately delays my work schedule. Moreover, the others are still oblivious to my dilemma, and I’m… scared to confront them about the issue. There’s really no telling with them, especially if I confess that I’m on the cusp of becoming a ‘Dark’ Side. They’re going to paint me as a villain, similar to what they did to you, and I don’t— I don’t think I can handle hearing all of that.”

“I already have… an abundant amount of insecurities that I cannot seem to rationalize and it’s only worsening for… obvious reasons. You already understand I’m quite the perfectionist, so when someone informs me that I’m ‘mistaken’ or decides to disregard my contributions entirely, I feel— I feel like—” Logan shakily inhaled before continuing, “I feel worthless. Pointless. No matter what I do, it will always be deemed as useless, and I can’t help but hate myself for it.”

“Hey Logan?” Remus said softly, raising one of his hands to cup his cheek. “Breathe for me.”

Logan didn’t realize how quickened his breath had become until Remus pointed it out, and as he tried to ignore the suffocating feeling that was crushing his chest, he followed Remus’s instructions obediently. They breathed together silently, Logan attempting to not let himself cry embarrassingly in front of Remus once more. 

“Hatsune Geek-u,” Remus spoke, “one or two?” Remus asked, lowering his hand.

Logan averted his gaze from Remus, thinking before he should’ve replied to his question. “Uhm,” Logan said, “While I’d like to say I’m leaning more towards two, I still feel unexplainably frustrated for some absurd reason.” Logan said wearily.

“So… a one and a half?” Remus replied comedically, and Logan failed to suppress a snort.

“Dick.” Logan rebuts, causing Remus to gasp audibly.

“Logan, this is a Christian household, don’t be a sinful little bitch,” Remus whined and Logan delightedly laughed at him.

“I didn’t realize we were holding a ‘Who can impersonate Patton the best?’ competition.” Logan joked, but then he returned to the main topic at hand, “In all seriousness, I still cannot comprehend why I feel so aggravated. Venting usually uplifts me but I suppose everything, even certain coping mechanisms, will stop working after a certain point.”

“There are other things we can try out.” Remus explained, “Before we were friends, there were a lot of things I did in my room and in the Imagination that helped me calm down. Not every problem of mine could find a solution through venting so Janus recommended that I should channel my emotions into doing something physical.”

“That actually… makes a lot of sense— considering you’re a very active and energetic person and all.” Logan said, “But I’m vastly dissimilar from you in a physical sense, Remus. I can barely lift a single Encyclopedia book without toppling over.”

“God you are a weakling, but that doesn’t matter! I’m not your gym instructor, dork, I’m still your local rat bastard and I have some… fun plans up my sleeve.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, “What are you suggesting?”.

“Okay, hear me out—”

“Oh God.”

“It’s going to sound a little weird—”

“That was to be expected.”

“But hear me out.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Plate throwing.” Remus suggested, slightly starry eyed as if what he said was the most magnificent thing on earth. Logan, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern as his lips thinned in disapproval. That didn’t dissuade the more chaotic side from summoning multiple sets of plates on the table, all stacked neatly, ready to be used.

“Remus,” Logan spoke sternly. “It’s late.”

“And?”

“We might disturb Janus and Orange.” Logan explained, “Considering Orange’s unhinged state and how exhausted Janus must be, I don’t think it is the smartest idea to throw plates.”

“I promise you, the other two won’t care.” Remus told him, “Orange literally plays Catholic praise songs all the fucking time— he won’t notice anything that’s going on outside of his room. And Janus? He soundproofed his room because… well, there’s this one time I did an experiment with horny foxes and lemme tell ya— he did not like that. After that, he literally wasn’t bothered by anything else. I once decided to test how soundproof his room was by blasting Megalovania on ten thousand speakers but he didn’t hear anything. Nothing at all. Zip. Zilch. Nada—”

“Okay, okay, I understand.” Logan said, still quite reluctant to participate, “Why do you even have these plates?”

“Well, remember the art project I was doing where I decided to make a replica of the town from that horror manga using weird materials?” 

Logan’s eyes lit up, “The one of Junji Ito’s Uzumaki?”

Remus snapped his fingers with a grin, “Bingo.” he affirmed, “I’m almost finished with the thing save for this entire area with like, bones and er, I can’t really explain it well but imagine human bodies made out of concrete.”

“A very comforting image.” Logan remarked sarcastically.

“I know, right?” Remus replied jestingly, “I thought broken, ceramic plates would be a fun material to work with— not because it seemed like an appropriate material for the rubble but I just thought breaking plates would be fun to do. I was going to do it on my own but it seems like you’re willing to break a few plates for yourself. Y’know, as a release.”

Using one of his tentacles, Remus chucked a plate at Logan who caught it accurately. “Remus, you know I love you very much, and I do want to help contribute to your wonderful art project, but this is somewhat too childish for—”

Interrupting Logan’s spiel, Remus snapped his fingers loudly. Logan blinked twice in bewilderment, unsure of why Remus did that in the first place, but then, he noticed that something behind Remus had changed. The dark hardwood cupboards had some pinned banners on them with each depicting one of the three “Light” Sides. What intrigued Logan the most were the giant red circles that surrounded their faces; Logan guessed that they were painted on by Remus. The circles that enveloped the sides made it seem like Logan was supposed to target them as if they were—

Oh.

Oh.

“Remus,” Logan spoke.

“Yes?” Remus said chipperly.

“Am I supposed to—?”

“Go for it.” Remus insisted, giving Logan a nod of encouragement.

Logan glanced at the plate he carried in his glitching palms, noticing how his fatigued expression was shining back at him due to how clean the plate was. Like always, his eyebags were incredibly pronounced, and it seemed like a new wrinkle had developed on his forehead. And… were those white strands of hair tucked behind his ear?

Logan grimaced— how long has he been this tired?

He raised his head and looked at the three pictures of the other sides. All three pictures developed a sense of dread within him. Besides the fear that was eating him from the inside out, there were several other side effects like the sweatiness and unsteadiness of his palms, the dryness of his throat, and the sudden urge to rip the banners off the cupboards and tear them to shreds. 

Logan bet Remus deliberately made each picture show the others at their highest, all of them smiling and laughing mockingly at Logan. At weak, frail, useless Logan. 

Logan looked down at his plate again. The same weary expression stared back at him.

And when he looked back at the cupboards, each of the sides were still smiling in blissful ignorance. They fucking knew Logan was exhausted, they knew he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

And yet, they laughed anyway.

Just like that, something buried deep within Logan cracked. Raising the arm that was handling the plate, he ferociously hurled it towards the cupboards. The suppressed wrath he has forcibly ignored for years seeped out all at once, and for the first time, Logan let it happen, he let himself be angry. 

And honestly, with how many times they viewed Logan as a controllable utility, with how many times they’ve figuratively stabbed him in the back, with how many times they’ve dumped all the responsibilities on Logan without asking if he was alright— Logan deserved to get outraged.

An earsplitting, loud crack was heard, its sound reverberating across the “Dark” Sides’ living room and kitchen. 

The plate precisely hit the cupboard with the picture of Patton, its pieces exploding right at the center. It was incredibly scary how Logan was able to execute a perfect and direct shot at Patton despite how his glitches made him constantly spasm. 

“Holy—“ Remus spoke as Logan withdrew his hand. Logan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, quite astonished at his accuracy. “Holy shit.” Remus remarked proudly, the large grin on his face suggesting that he was extremely impressed by Logan.

“Holy shit indeed,” Logan murmured, similarly as stunned as Remus. “That was… surprisingly exhilarating.” Logan stated, a smile creeping unto his face. 

“Fucking yes,” Remus grabbed two more plates from the stack, “I feel like a proud mother watching their child graduate,” Remus remarked, and before Logan could have commented on how strange Remus’s statement was, Remus aggressively chucked the two plates he carried towards the pictures of Roman and Virgil. His movements were so quick that Logan could’ve sworn he felt a cool breeze brush past him when Remus threw the plates.

“That’s what you get for abandoning me, fuckin’ assholes!” Remus hollered, emitting an impressed laugh from Logan. 

“I think the best word to describe what I feel is ‘Mood’.” Logan responded, snatching a handful of plates for himself. 

“Glad you understand, but if you really do relate, then you should keep throwing your plates, Invader Simp.” Remus stated, “And whatever you do, do not hold back.” 

Logan didn’t need to be instructed twice before chucking his plates mercilessly, unleashing all the rage and energy he possessed within. Every time he heard a vicious crack or the sound of the ceramic pieces colliding with one another violently, an overwhelming, thrilling sensation washed through him. Remus wasn’t exempted from this feeling either, his face expressing pure ecstasy and enjoyment, and that only increased how entertained Logan was.

Additionally, the countless insults and jabs they had for the other sides only enthralled Logan more, making this experience oddly therapeutic.

“Quite unfair of you, Virgil, that your asshole demeanor is always glossed over by Thomas and his fans when you’ve threatened to cut my air supply on camera. Oh, but of course Patton insists you’re a sweet, harmless, angelic—”

Another crashing noise, “To be fair, Patton’s pretty fucking stupid.” Remus interrupted, throwing another plate at the worn out picture of Patton, “Plus he has ten Minion posters in his room.”

“Eugh.”

“At least he isn’t like Roman. Stupid Roman who acts as if everything Thomas does is his doing.” Remus grabbed an excessive amount of plates, throwing at Roman’s photo, “Last time I checked, it was me who helped Thomas when he was cast in Heathers—”

“And it was me who helped Thomas schedule all his auditions.” Logan commented irritatedly, “They act as if I didn’t contribute anything to Thomas’s theatre career, act as if I’m the villain, when it was me who had to adapt to a sudden change in Thomas’s career. They say they hate me for wanting a different future for Thomas when they were the first ones to change Thomas’s life plans without my permission!”

“Say it louder for the people in the back, sister!”

“Wait, ‘people in the back’...? Is someone watching u—”

“Shit, wait, I forget you are a literal boomer, sorry,” Remus said, “What I mean is, you’re abso-fucking-lutely right.” he added, and while doing so, he decided to put some of his tentacles into good use. Picking up an entire stack of plates, he tossed them one by one at each picture. The table was getting emptier now, with only one stack of plates left, “All of them are massive hypocrites and it’s starting to piss me off.” 

“Agreed,” Logan affirmed. Slightly jealous Remus was hogging all the plates to himself, Logan challenged his physical strength by grabbing the entire last stack of plates for himself to throw. While this earned some concerned look from Remus, Remus didn’t protest against Logan’s decision. This was enough encouragement for Logan to hurl the dishes relentlessly against the cupboards, creating a clamorous noise as every single plate shattered into uneven pieces. 

“Woah,” Remus said in awe as he casually chucked the last plate he was holding, “I would like to see this feral side of you more, Logan.”

Logan cracked his knuckles, feeling oddly satisfied after that session of plate throwing, “Thank you,” Logan told Remus, “I’m thinking you’ll get to see it more when I have fully converted into becoming a ‘Dark’ Side.”

“Oh, it’ll match with the ‘Dark’ Side aesthetic we have, I’m sure of it.”

“Good,” Logan said.

There was a comfortable silence exchanged between both sides as the adrenaline began to wear off. It was only at this moment they realized how much damage they’ve created outside the broken plates as the cupboards are now embellished with multiple scratches and chipped off wood. Additionally, some of the broken ceramics were scattered on the other countertops, and it seemed like some of the appliances nearby were also caught in the crossfire. Logan should’ve known that once the banners have started ripping, they should’ve halted their plate throwing to examine the safety of the other equipment in the kitchen.

Ah well. He still didn’t regret participating in the activity anyway.

“This should be enough.” Remus said, sweeping the plate remnants up with his tentacles. Each appendage was seen efficiently picking up the fragments, dusting off specks of dirt found on them, and delicately placing the pieces on the countertops. Logan doesn’t understand why Remus decided to choose the countertops over the tables, but he doesn’t make an effort to inquire about the matter.

“That is… more than what I expected.” Logan mentioned, “I suppose we got too carried away with our endeavors.”

“Doesn’t mean it was a bad thing,” Remus told him, and somehow, he was holding a nail filer. Logan assumed he was going to polish the shards using the filer to precisely imitate the sculptures and skulls from the book.

“While I did admit we were a bit overwhelmed by the thrill of the activity, I did not specify it being a horrible experience.” Logan corrected him, “In fact, I actually… enjoyed it. And it’s rare for me to find physical activities like these exhilarating.” 

“See? This is why you don’t doubt The Duke,” Remus said, leaning against the table as he let his tentacles do all the cleanup work, “And you’re welcome, Elpha-bae Thropp,” added Remus, and somehow, that nickname made something in Logan’s heart swell. Swell in a positive or negative sense, he didn’t know.

“That is an upgrade from ‘Swell-phaba Thropp’.” Logan replied.

“Ugh, don’t even remind me of that atrocious nickname.” Remus said, nostrils slightly flared.

“I won’t, but the nickname has very close ties to some memories I hold dear, so pardon me if I ever bring it up again in the future.” Logan said, referencing the first time he and Remus had shared an intimate moment with one another. He was glad to see Remus’s expression soften as he seemed to have recalled it as well.

“Aw, you’re being a sap again,” Remus commented, leaning his chin against his hands as his arms were propped atop of the table. He gazed at Logan dreamily, “That suddenly made me hate the nickname less now.”

“I didn’t say it was a good nickname,” Logan retorted with a smirk.

“You hurt my pride, love, I am wounded,” Remus said, putting a hand dramatically on his chest. 

Logan almost sputtered upon hearing the nickname but only managed to raise his eyebrows. Remus typically coated his nicknames with a joke, or some kind of atrocious pun but this was something different, and Logan couldn’t have helped but feel flustered because of it. “‘Love’?” Logan murmured, and immediately, he felt the atmosphere of the room shift. 

Remus immediately looked apologetic, and Logan could’ve sworn one of his tentacles almost dropped one of the plate fragments it was holding, but Remus was quick to defend himself, “Ah, my apologies, I know you don’t want to rush things and I’m— well, I am Remus, so words just slip out of my mouth and—”

“No it’s— it’s quite alright.” Logan instantly corrected him, “I apologize too if I, uhm, swiftly dismiss your acts of affection. I know I’m not—” Logan’s voice decided to betray him and crack involuntarily, “I’m just not well adjusted to, er, romance, and anything of the like. It’s— it’s not that I don’t enjoy it, per se, I genuinely appreciate the relationship we have now,  but I just… do not know if what I’ve been giving back to you is enough to satisfy you? I understand I’m quite monotonous and stoic so I’m not always— I cannot find— I’m trying to—” Logan sucked in a breath as he shut his eyes, “I’m just… very awful at this kind of stuff.”

Logan should’ve known Remus was still going to be compassionate about his problems, would’ve still been unexplainably considerate despite how Logan is the way he is, but a single pesky thought lingered in his head, whispering how Remus might decide to just end it, how Remus might just tell Logan to forget about everything they’ve ever done. 

(Logan really had forgotten that his insecurities about being worthless to the other sides are different from the insecurities about not being enough for Remus, huh. Calming down those intrusive thoughts obviously paved the way for other ones to take over, and unfortunately, those ones all involve Remus in one way or another.)

There was a troubled expression on Remus’s face, and Logan was bracing himself for the absolute worst thing to come out of Remus’s mouth. But then—

“Logan, you know I love you, but what on earth are you talking about?” Logan stared at him blankly, thinking he misheard what Remus said, but Remus still appeared to be extremely baffled. “Logan, you do know that you can’t measure affection, and even if you do, you’re damn good at providing it.” Remus stated, leaning closer to Logan with arms planted on the table, “More than anything, I feel like I’m the one doing something wrong here.”

And now it was Logan’s turn to look perplexed, “You? Remus, you’re the more romantic and affectionate one—”

“That is exactly what I mean!” Remus exclaimed, making Logan appear to be even more confused. “What I mean is, I feel like I’m taking things too fast when I know we promised to let this… thing we have to be more gradual. I know we’re allowed to be fond with one another, I’m not that stupid, but I’m kinda scared that I’m being too gross or intrusive or quick or—”

“Remus.” Logan cut him off before he would inevitably begin to spiral downwards, “Out of everyone, you told me to love myself for who I am. And I admit, I do struggle a bit sometimes, but you need to take in your own advice as well.” Logan said while Remus gazed at the table, lips curved downwards, “You’re not gross, nor are you someone who’s ‘too much’. You’re enough for me, Remus, and I admire all the efforts you make to show your fondness for me.”

Remus then began to look up, directly gazing at Logan, and his frown softened. Like the chaotic side he is, he jumped on the table quickly and pushed himself forward to move closer to Logan. They were then in the same position they were in the first time they met tonight, Remus sitting cross-legged on the table as he loomed above Logan who leaned close to him.

“Thank you, dork,” Remus said, “I could also say the same for you, though. You can’t say you’re doing ‘too little’ when you’ve literally done so much for me. Even small things like listening to me rant about my gory fantasies make me feel happy. Or loved. Or appreciated or wanted, but you get the point. Don’t you ever think that you’re doing less than stellar when literally everything you do is enough for me. You’re enough for me too, Logan.”

“Remus,” Logan gazed at him, and this time, it was him with the glossy eyes, “I’m getting too emotional and it’s almost 3AM,” Logan told him, “but that… that means so much to me. Thank you so, so much.”

“You sound like you’re on your deathbed.” Remus said, earning a chuckle from Logan. “But you’re welcome, love.”

This time, the nickname made Logan flush crimson, and Logan didn’t last long before he leaned his forehead against Remus’s chest once again, wrapping his arms around the green-clad side like the flustering idiot he is.

“Aw,” Remus said, bringing his hand to pat the logical side, “You actually like it when I call you love.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“I almost hate you.”

“And I love you too.” Remus replied, kissing the top of Logan’s hair lovingly.

And that sums up their relationship well, doesn’t it? Their insecurities forgotten thanks to their fondness for one another. A weird yet lovely symbiotic relationship that made Logan feel genuinely happy— something he hadn’t experienced much since Thomas’s teenage years. Logan always thought he never deserved experiencing joy anyway— but Remus showed him that he did, convinced him he was worthy enough. Logan would’ve never thought this gore-obsessed, chaotic trash man made his heart swell the way it does now, would’ve never thought this trash man would have helped Logan overcome his insecurities using the oddest of methods—

But Logan wouldn’t have it any other way.

[harveyscape]

coming in hot with more miscellaneous questions and the comment that i ALSO love scratch and sniff. what an episode. anyway - what is your opinion on Very Controversial Episode jeremiah crichton? which non-johnaeryn romance do you like the best? favourite serious headcanon? favourite silly headcanon? opinion on maldis? favourite quote from each season? opinion on how scorpius changes in season 4?

THANK YOU SWEET ANON I HAVE SO MUCH FUN DOING THESE!!!!! <33333333

What’s your take on Jeremiah Crichton? - I don’t hate it. I think a lot of my tolerance for it over the years stems from a fond remembrance of the commentary though, which I think really builds on the experience when you’re watching it. Like I’m pretty sure they point out either a road or a car or a parking lot or a bridge in it and it’s always haunted me lmao. It’s not the lowest tier episode for me to come out of season one and I only think I like it more ‘cause at that point you start to see the bond and devotion beginning to form in both Aeryn and D’Argo in their unwillingness to give up on searching for their shipmate. It also happens right after The Flax so my brain like, Hyper Analyzes Aeryn’s response to everything. It’s a little Star Trek-y which again, I’m not a huge fan of. :/

Which non-John/Aeryn romance do you like the best? - It’s gonna become really clear in a second how much I love multiple D’Argo ships WOMPWOOOOMP. My big fave is Zhaan/D’Argo I’M CRINGE BUT I’M FREE. It’s an absolute tragedy one of their only Chef Kiss moments is in one of the worst episodes of season 2 and also a hallucination but I’LL TAKE IT. Also them in Thank God It’s Friday, Again, Effervescent... I also love Jool/D’Argo, love their little romp in the comics simply for EXISTING. Them on Arnesk together and also Jool bringing out this Smart Luxan side of D’Argo more, YEAH WHATEVA. And also Staanz/D’Argo. BASED <3. Outside of that I enjoy Sikozu/Jothee from what little crumbs we get of them together in the comics. :) Just two nerds.

Favorite serious headcanon? - This is like, sooooooo hard. This is so hard. I can’t really think of one in particular that I favor. I’ve already talked about some of these I’m sorry!!!

I like the idea that their son was conceived on Talyn, it’s left a little ambiguous in-canon so I suppose I can say it’s a headcanon. I used to hate it as a kid. I was DEVOUTLY a “Deke is A Human Reaction baby” but I’ve very full-heartedly switched sides as I’ve aged haha.

I think the “Deke’s whacky powers coming from Aeryn’s side” is silly and I refuse to believe it’s real, I think it takes away from the uniqueness of the situation when it’s meant to imply that multiple PK babies are experiencing this. Homie just has the wormhole juice™ from his dad in my headcanon. Also I forget how they fix it in the comics but I like to think it’s just been made Dormant and it’ll be a surprise tool that’ll hinder/help him later in life.

I want a romp scenario Pre-Promises between an Aeryn who’s not at 100%, lowkey dying from Heat Delirium but she won’t admit it, and a midlife crisis Scorpius. I would KILL for this. My headcanon is they had at LEAST one little adventure together and that’s why Aeryn’s so headstrong about defending/protecting him against John. Like, he’d technically killed her in the past like, there’s gotta be more there from what happened between them prior to reaching Moya. They both needed each other to get to John and were really selfishly relying on one another to Achieve That. Like even in Natural Election she’s like “I trust you, but the others don’t,” LIKE WHERE IS THIS FOUNDED, YOU GUYS DID SOMETHING TOGETHER TO BOND. IT’S JUST SO UNEXPLORED AND I YEARN FOR IT.

I like the idea that after the end of Fetal Attraction, Aeryn and John finally talk about what all happened on Talyn on an equal plane of understanding. It’s mutual, John talks about his endeavors aboard Moya while she was away, but they more thoroughly discuss Talyn!John’s death and what all he’d done up to that point to stop the Scarrans. I think it just gives a little more context to John’s speech in the beginning of the next episode when he’s in the War Room and he gives this knowing look to Aeryn when he acknowledges and takes credit for Talyn!John’s deeds. They worked through their baggage offscreen. :)

Aeryn fully remembers the erased timeline where she got old with John because of what weird things happened in The Choice. I think this idea is very supportive of A Human Reaction c*nception so like I don’t care either way, but it kinda makes you wonder if her first kid in that timeline WAS John’s and her remembering this timeline in The Choice is potentially why she suspects she might be pr*gnant in the finale episodes of the third season.

Favorite silly headcanon? - Yeah I’ll say my cringe ones.

I like to think Aeryn’s military space bod only worked the once in both Halting and Fastforwarding her pregnancy so all future kids would gestate more Humanely (In the species sense) and came unexpectedly haha. Which she of course hated (But secretly liked).

Dregon gets his own girlboss. He deserves it. <3

Grunchlk had two hands so not only did he grab Sikozu but also he saved D’Argo don’t worry about it. We haven’t seen him ‘cause he’s doing dumb stuff with Raxil or he’s farming somewhere random I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.

Aeryn nabbed a few baby things on Earth, really subtle things she probably hid from everyone but still like Lowkey Nesting. I like to think she confided in Olivia and she helped her out a little. :) Or at least just talked to her about it. Her reactions in A Constellation of Doubt be a little sussy.

John put a flower in Aeryn’s hair Once and it made her feel pretty and that’s the only girly thing she’s ever done ever so she does it at her wedding.

Opinion on Maldis? - I used to enjoy his episodes a lot more as a kid, but they get lamer for me with age. :/ I think Farscape achieves balls deep trippy far more effectively in other ways and consequently, Mr. Space Wizard is left in the dust. I like him more than Durka but it’s kinda insane how frequently I get them mixed up, very uninspired antagonists.

Favorite quote from each season? - It’s so hard deciding whether or not to go funny or Girthy haha. I’ll put bits of the script notes in too ‘cause I LIKE THEM WHATEVER!!!

Season 1 - (Staring moodily out the window. It thunders and an ambulance siren is heard) Look at that. That's it. Earth. Minus the sunshine.

Season 2 - (She gently pulls him into a motherly embrace that he just can't deny, although he makes little distressed sounds as if he's trying not to cry, not to allow himself to be taken in by this. She croons comfortingly to him. She brings his head to her shoulder, his eyes staring, making his little choking sounds and he slowly, slowly allows his head to sink onto her shoulder. He shuts his eyes and sighs as she whispers, with infinite softness, in his ear. They stay like that for a while, John cradled in the loving arms of his mother, resting, while she murmurs words of comfort to him. Once he has calmed she speaks again-) You've changed. (Without moving his head from her shoulder he responds in an even tone) People change to survive.

Season 3 - Dog - animal. It's a pet. He has this bone - it's the most important thing in the world, carries it everywhere he goes. And ah - one day he goes down to the water and he sees another dog with a bone, reflected on the surface. It's identical and he wants that bone too. So he opens his mouth to grab it - and his bone falls in the water and it disappears. It's gone. And he's left standing there... looking at himself. (John's cheeks are damp with tears of misery) And he has nothing.

Season 4 - I wore a bomb. (There's a long pause before he continues dreamily) A nuclear bomb in a field of flowers... (He sighs and blinks slowly. Aeryn turns her face toward him) I could get lucky. Tomorrow I could have a bigger bomb. (Aeryn slowly sits up) I could kill - more people. Maybe they'll be innocent people. Children. Maybe… (They lay there on their sides staring at each other for a long moment. John lowers his eyes and sighs. Aeryn reaches out at last and quietly strokes his hair, runs her fingers around his ear... He leans into her hand - and finally rests his head on her arm, heartbroken by the universe - and his part in it)

Opinion on how Scorpius changes in season 4? - There’s things I LIKE and things I DON’T LIKE that happen with Scorp in season 4. I think the beginning of the season for him starts SOOOOO INSANELY STRONG after the condemning end he gets in the third season. It just MAKES SENSE AND IT’S SO GOOD. I love the banter between him and John in season 4, love them working together, and his slow decay into realization that he’d been duped by an idiot. The Scarran spy stuff? Not really a fan! Kinda dumb, but I GET IT. Homeboy’s playing his cards. I just think it was a little redundant considering where we find him in The Peacekeeper Wars. I’m mainly just not a fan of the torture scenes I think they’re a little too hammy for my liking. Ahkna and Scorp, though... Meow...

[taekooktimeline]

1/2 I’m so glad you’re answering asks again! I really value your opinion when it comes to taekook. I’ve noticed many of the recent asks seem a little skeptical, which I don’t understand. I just keep thinking back to the 2020 Grammys. It wasn’t an accident that they wore matching outfits to such a huge event, posed as a couple on the red carpet when the other members started to move ahead, wore rings on their left hands, etc. Is it just me or was this a really big deal?

Kayla: well said anon and I totally agree 😭honestly by the end of the week after episode 6 of IST released, I was so drained and angry at how people were reacting. I don’t know why people fixated on it over all the other events leading up to that, other than I truly feel people actively seek negativity when it comes to TK. So many people, even after I break down my stance on BV4, tattoo girl and 2019 overall, still refuse to see how TK acted around all of that. I don’t mind if people disagree but how do you see all the events surrounding that month break, and clearly see no underlying tension or drama, yet find an issue? I don’t get it.

Part of me thinks there’s a few issues here, one of which is some people have short term memory in this fandom. Grammys 2020 was AMAZING and I’m with you - it was bold, loud and a statement. Jk broke the lineup to stand by Tae. They wore rings on their left ring finger while wearing similar matching outfits. They were affectionate to the point non listeners asked if they were dating. That said everything about who Tae and Jk are to each other. It was, in my mind, very intentional of them, at a very large scale, international event which they knew a lot of people would view. But that was January and IST came in Sept so people focus on that. They take it as “real time” and forget what came before. Time moves forward, but they tend to void out sweet moments for the content that is out “today”.

It also doesn’t help that this show was marketed as a relaxed vacation for BTS, a natural setting. People took this conversation at face value without factoring this is a closeted couple who were - generally but not always - restricted in official content leading up to this and the new contracts taking effect. And some didn’t bother questioning how odd it was this deep talk took place on camera, nor the fact we didn’t learn anything new. In reality, this moment was sweet. Tae was clearly nervous but excited. Jimin, their loving, best friend, played along with Tae in acting a skit to get Jk to the tent. They had a very sweet talk with Jk reminiscing about old times. Unfortunately I’ve noticed people have a tendency to focus on the bad and think it defines an entire relationship. They took the negative subtext, which Jk didn’t say, and took his comment “a SIDE” became awkward and ran with it. They didn’t use critical thinking to really consider setting - a public televised moment - or the fact this is a closeted couple, or that Tae had hard times that probably did impact his moods and how those around him reacted.

As for the “focusing on” I think this is something that is always going to be prevalent with taekook until they say something concrete because every single time Jungkook and Tae do something there are a million people standing behind them with all these excuses of “oh tae does this with everyone” “jungkook hates tae” “tae doesn’t like jungkook” “jungkook touches/stares at everyone too” “you’re making them uncomfortable” etc. I think people just want to focus on the negative because they either can’t or choose not believe at the very basic nature of this entire pairing that Tae and Jungkook are friends (for whatever reason, and I’m not talking about the people who don’t like ‘shipping’ but are fine with others doing what they want, I’m talking about those who actively attack people who are peacefully just reposting moments or enjoying themselves on a FREE platform and not spreading any actual malice). Honestly, in my opinion this is no longer even a couple thing, people can’t stand the idea of Tae and Jungkook even being friends. When that rumour came out that Tae and Jungkook went shopping, not only did someone feel the urge to create a false rumour to show how quickly ‘taekookers believe lies’ but also there were like 10001 people coming into the comments to discredit this woman... I mean for what? Are the members not allowed to go shopping with each other anymore? I fail to see the big deal with this.

At the heart of this matter is that people in this fandom are okay with all the members just being FRIENDS but not taekook. Regardless of whether they see romantic connotations in their actions, people can’t seem to even fathom the possibility that two individuals that have been in a group for 7 years, who became friends during debut and were considered the closest—would even be friends today. That’s actually what’s the saddest and most transparent issue within this fandom. Now people can say what they like but I’ve seen tons of experiments and things that have shown this issue to be fairly black and white. As for the SOOP conversation from episode 6, i think Jk made it pretty clear at the GDA 2021 what he meant—I saw that as a clear statement to how he sees Tae and what Tae means to him—I saw people who were dissecting his words and pulling up naver dictionary which is a whole other issue but the fact of the matter is they directly engaged with that episode “Taehyung hyung and I have been friends since debut, we were very close” “what are we not close anymore” *laughs* “no that’s not what i meant, since then you’ve become even more reliable and dependable, so keep working hard and stay healthy lets do something together soon with everyone when it's safer” [I can’t remember if he said everyone, e.g. 여러분 or a variation, I’d have to rewatch it]. Taehyung point blank asked him “what? are we not close anymore?” and Jk said no and reaffirmed they have always been close, despite what people tried to say after Ep 6.

I just find it interesting how everyone was so quick to take Jk for his word and tell us to “stop twisting his words” during that entire SOOP ordeal, yet when Jungkook makes a statement like this at the GDA people are so fast to start going “oh he said gentleman, that means they don’t really like each other and he’s being nice” “did he hesitate? I feel like he hesitated?” “Jungkook looks like he doesn’t want to be there” “taehyung didn’t even pay attention to his message, he asked him about his hair”.

I think that really says it all about how people treat taekook.

I also want to make a point on where some of the hate derives from. My personal opinion is that the hate or friend narrative is largely driven by Bh. They were the ones who separated them starting in 2017 , which gave fans all the freedom to fill in the blanks as to what happened. Being two of the most popular members of the biggest band in the world, this allowed fans who largely ignore ships to see them as rivals even. In official content, there was never any chance that Bh let them think differently. Don’t even get me started on BH because after episode 6 I really stepped back and evaluated how much BH supports. And I’m really confused by the company right now.

I hope I’ve answered this thoroughly and my apologies it’s so long! Ultimately I think there’s a lot of factors at play: BH separating TK in official content a lot of times in the old contract let people create stories; a lot in this fandom seems to actively look for drama or negativity with TK; people take official content as real time events; they don’t factor in IST being televised, how we didn’t learn anything substantive or new, and twisted words to suit a story; short term memory (Grammys was Jan, IST was Sept).

Finally, thanks for being patient with asks. That’s so sweet to read you’re happy I’m answering them again🥰 There's close to 110 in the inbox 😭I’m going to try my best to answer a couple a week at the least. But the inbox does get me anxious, and it can be draining with the negative asks. Between work, my personal life and the timeline itself, which take priority, I’ll do my best but I appreciate the understanding it takes time to get to questions, and it doesn’t help I’m very nervous people can misconstrue what I say, so I take a while to draft thoughts.

Sara’s General Disclaimer: I may select some asks, think about them and answer in the future through either Tumblr, Twitter or YouTube. Kayla will take over the discussion section as she enjoys active debates and will make the time for it, but I still read them all. Be nice to each other 💜 As it’s natural, I may or may not differ with Kayla’s take/ words.

[hecohansen31]

It Was Fun Till It Lasted

Duncan Shepherd x F1 Pilot Female! Reader

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

I have been a bit silent the latest weeks, but I just got hit by the inspiration train as of lately (even more after all the F1 glory we have been getting) and I just thought about a small drabble, about Duncan in the race car universe.

Not as a driver, but more like a sponsor.

This is very PWP, even for my sentimental ass, so I do hope that you’ll like it, even though it isn’t the most perfect thing ever (just to warn you).

Also I just wanted to give @guiltyfiend a big shoutout because she has been a constant source of inspiration for me with various fics (‘Quid Pro Quo’ has been the main reason why for the existence of this drabble) so do check out her lovely fics!

I am also personally, maybe (since I don’t feel apprecciated in the other fandoms I am in) of making a few comebacks in this fandom, if any of you would like iit obviously!

So, please, if you want more, don’t forget to leave some kind of feedback I truly apprecciate it from the bottom of my heart and it’ll truly make my heart beat stronger and my fingers write faster!

Don’t ever ever forget to support your beloved writers with feedback, if you liked what they wrote!

Have a nice reading!

SUMMARY: Galas can be annoying things, but when an handsome fellow accidentally drenches you in champagne there are many ways your night might change.

WORDS: 5,4 K

WARNINGS: Mention of Sexism, Misogyny, Harassment On The Workplace, Inaccurate Portrayal of The F1 World, Inaccurate Way Of Cleaning Champagne From Clothes, Sex, Slight Dirty Talk, Mirror Sex, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Sex Between Strangers.

You sipped slowly from the flute of champagne you had managed to steal, meanwhile your boss wasn’t looking, since you had been instructed to avoid getting yourself drunk till you got the trophy in your hand, to avoid replacing the ‘drunk Kimi meme’ in the F1 world.

But it was difficult for you, an introvert, to feel at ease in a room full of different people.

A few of them were gladly ignoring you, but more were looking at you like you were some kind of freak in a costume, which was probably the best description for being one pilot of the only all-female team existing in F1.

You had grown up with the myths of Ayrton Senna and Niki Lauda, thanks to your grandfather and his the passion for fast cars and elegant ones, raising you as some kind of substitute to him, who had never been able to race, having had various problematics with his own health.

An heartattack at seventy had taken him away, just as you signed your first contract with the F2.

You had been partnered with a male pilot, and although the car wasn’t the fastest, you had managed to become much better than your partner, eventually getting yourself fired because females, in a place like F1, couldn’t raise to fame, throwing you in a depression that had brought you almost on the verge…

… but then your newest F1 stable had brought you back, giving you a car that wasn’t definitely one of the best you could have gotten but it had gotten you through a nice first season, and you had actually arrived at the sixth position in the constructors’ championship, alongside your partner…

… who, right now, didn’t look less bothered than you, at this fancy party.

But Abigail could definitely hold the curious gazes better than you.

You might have needed something more than champagne to get through a night like this.

You had begged your stable director to just bring Abigail, the social butterfly out of the two of you, but he had just insisted that ‘having two beauties on his arm would have done him and the stable more good than just one’.

And aside from the blatantly sexist part of the comment, you knew he was right.

Sponsors had been rushing to you this season because the media had focused much attention on the importance of new female figures in races, but now that the novelty was rushing off a few had decided to let you go, so you had to grab a few new ones, convincing them through either the use of your talk and your feminine charm.

‘… I had almost thought that he’d ask us to sleep with the sponsors to get them to stay’ had commented Abigail, as you both set yourself up for the night, the elegant rented dresses waiting for you on the comfortable bed of the expensive suite of the hotel ‘… it was this close to becoming an episode of ‘Law & Order: SVU’.

And now Abigail was being her usual chatty with a few sponsors fawning around her, as you tried to down the flute of champagne almost as if it was a full bottle of vodka, something that you honestly missed and stared at the expensive drink in the glass.

If only your glare could turn it in something that would give you more liquid courage.

A few of the rookies had been tried to talk with you and you had been extremely happy to have someone approach you, but soon the chat had diffused itself and all the drivers had been called back by their own director, and you had found yourself alone, again, and with annoying stares upon you.

Many of the pilots from the other stables had tried to get you in bed with them, and you knew that there were various bets going on about getting you or Abigail to finally relent your ‘haughty pretenses’, not to talk about the fact that the entire media platform and magazines had been set up on you and Abigail, waiting for any false step of yours.

You had been dubbed ‘the sole chance for feminism to raise’ and everyone was waiting for you to fall.

To prove that F1 wasn’t female territory.

So, you had been rigorously swearing off any coupling with the other drivers.

The fact that you found it already quite difficult to combine your training and the various galas you had to attend with an healthy social life, certainly did help with the whole ‘chastity promise’ thing.

And you never regretted such a choice during the race season.

The ‘no sex’ rule helped you during the competition, keeping your mind in the game, but now that the driving season was ended and you were finally enjoying your well-deserved holiday, you couldn’t help but hate thoroughly the situation you had landed yourself in, only able to rely on your hand and a few interesting toys.

But otherwise, utterly frustrated.

And yet unable to come up with a solution on such a short notice.

Dicks didn’t grow up on trees, these days.

You just bumped in them, apparently.

Because, as you were halfway through having your second drink of the night, counting on the fact that the director of your stable was halfway through a successful talk with some well-dressed older gentlemen, hence making him quite busy already and unable to check up on you, you clashed against a wall.

A wall of muscles, at a second glance.

A breathing wall of muscles, at third glance.

But you were far more interested by the fact that the bump-in had just made you spill your entire drink on your Givenchy rented dress, the one that costed more than your apartment rent, something that made a loud ‘shit’ leave your mouth and making the ‘wall of muscles’ raise his head towards you, as he noticed the stain.

And then, when you noticed that ‘wall of musclea’ had a pretty face and an even prettier body, a softer ‘shit’ left your mouth.

What a way to make an impression.

“Oh Gosh, I am sorry!” American accent, no British accent.

That was probably where Mother Nature had drawn in blessing him with all the ‘fucking handsome man’ gifts.

His handsome face was elegantly touched up by high cheekbones and feature that had something of roguish matched with elegant traits and darker colors, making him stand out as someone who wasn’t definitely a pilot or a journalist.

Which was ideal for you.

Such an refined face was matched with an elegant tailored body, the suit definitely made for him and him solely, knowing perfectly how to highlight each and every trait of a body that was obtained through attentive work, a careful one that was meant to impose itself or pump his muscles with no aim, but to give him a lean appearance of power.

That definitely worked with you.

“… oh” brain to Earth, brain to Earth, (Y/N), say something intelligent ‘… it was an accident’.

Tell that to the lady that will want the dress back.

But for now, that wasn’t your main concern.

Which was the handsome man in front of you.

But you couldn’t just hump him right there, not only because you were pretty sure that it would have been described as ‘sexual harassment’, but all the spotlight was set up on you, hence all the cameras were focused on every little small mistake you could have done, intensifying them in a way that didn’t happen with men.

You had to be perfect, but even more than that.

You had to be the male everyone thought you were, although you lacked of the attributes.

So, flirting was considered a hellish sin.

“Gosh, I am… extremely sorry” he repeated again, as his eyes shared a quick glance with yours, and you just nodded your head as if you had to confirm to him that you had heard him clearly the first time, before ducking to the restroom, hoping to be able to scrub away the stain, at least to avoid its yellowish color on the stark white of your dress.

But before you could start raising the dress off your legs, where the stain was more evident, you were followed inside by the man, and before you could utter any protest, he caught the ones in your eyes.

“I swear I am not a creeper” he raised his hands as if to reinforce this “… I just… you shouldn’t scrub on silk, it’ll just ruin the fabric, just ran the water and then wait for it to dry, some alcohol and a bit of bleach might also help, the stain will come out, with a single wash… I swear”.

You had a million questions for the stranger, unsure if you shouldn’t have already screamed at him for having entered the ladies restroom, but you just assumed that he was the first handsome guy ever to come with a cute personality.

And good domestic knowledge.

That was meant to always do something to a lady.

“… thank you” you settled on uttering, comforted by the fact that the guy turned around to leave you some privacy, but you couldn’t just let go such an opportunity, even more when you were in some kind of secluded area, and he didn’t look like the type that had a secret go-pro camera under his clothes.

Some girl that you had once met in a bathroom at one of the races had turned out to have one, as she egged on commenting some shit over Abigail.

Unluckily for her, Abigail was in the other stall and she had flushed in the noisiest way the water, before appearing with some kind of triumphant aura around her.

“… can you please stay?” ‘people will probably doubt you on your “abilities” if you come out after five minutes’ you almost wanted to utter, as a test to know if he looked just like a sex god or he fucking was, although with the way his cheeks blushed of a light red, you simply bit down on your tongue “… just to help me get the stain off, properly… you seem to know much more than me about it”.

“Things happen in college” he commented, as if it was an explanation.

What kind of parties had he been in college?

You just remembered the rush to grabbing the cheapest and most efficient alcohol.

He reached out as kindly as he could to start on the farthest part of your dress, where it wasn’t straight up skin tight, gently dabbing it with a piece of paper you had handed him, the fabric destroying itself on the dress, but the stain became a bit less prominent.

Enough to pass as some kind of enrichment the stylist had done on the dress at the last minute.

You hoped you could make the lady that had rented it to you buy this shit off too.

Because you either managed to get the stain out or get yourself a sponsor for the new year, or you’d have had to probably start living on the road, with only a few shining trophies for losers, such as the one you were supposed to grab tonight, for ‘best promising team’.

As if there was some kind of competition, between your small team and various established ones…

“… what are you doing at such a party?” you knew that conversation during this kind of thing would have gotten it to seem less sexual than it truly was, and although you were as good at small talk as you were at handling a crowd, you did your best to sound as relaxed as you could be.

But your question still sounded like one out of a police interrogation.

“Friend of a friend” it was more like meaning ‘none of your business’ but kinder, and you couldn’t deny his own right to privacy “… by the way, I do think that I should give you my name… in case you want someone to curse for the dress, I am Duncan”.

“I am (Y/N)” you were glad when no light of recognition shone in his eyes, just as his hand lightly grabbed the back of your upper thigh, to make the dress adhere perfectly to your skin and dab the stain more properly, a light shiver at the touch made you understand how truly touch-starved you had been “… and you look as out of place as me in this fucking gown”.

“Don’t tell anybody, but…” and he lightly leaned in closer to you, enough that you could feel the strong but comforting perfume of his cologne, something that smelt extremely male and yet, you couldn’t detect a trace of toxic masculinity in it “… I have never seen a single race of F1 in my life”.

Just what you needed.

“… oh tell me about it” you played coy, as his hands raised up from your legs skillfully avoided your ass, instead choosing to grip on the outer part of your hip, handling you with care but a sureness that made you want to relent the whole ‘male image’ you had created around you.

What would you have given for a night in which you didn’t have to be the one in control, constantly checking every detail!

“… neither a fan of the whole race panorama?” he asked, as his eyes trained themselves on your stomach, barely covered by the white of the dress, showing him a bit of skin behind it, exactly as the absence of your panties, a crazed decision of Abigail, who had thrown away your seamless granny pants.

‘They might be protective when we race, but these are shit’.

You knew you shouldn’t have lied to him about not belonging in the racing setting, but you just wanted to have one night in which you weren’t the prodigy, the promise, ‘the sole chance for freedom to raise’.

You just wanted to be (Y/N).

“Definitely not”.

“Brought here by a boyfriend?” now he was scanning his own ground, and he had a small break from his cleaning duties, as you caught a glimpse of that damned profile, the kind of thing you saw on expensive old coins.

He was definitely some kind of emperor in his own right.

“Nope” you mumbled, before you gave him back his own same coin “… just brought here by a friend of a friend”.

He smirked at his words being spit back at him and you smiled almost foolishly.

You even let out a soft giggle.

How fucking long had it been since you had giggled?

And done it because you honestly wanted.

And not because you were forced in front of journalists or potential sponsors.

His hands were now on the side of your chest, against the slight hill of your bra (you could have forsaken panties, but you needed that support), his hands lightly tracing the ridge of the silicone part where the bra stood attached to your skin, sweaty due to the fact that you had been wearing the whole thing for five hours, before of the event.

“… and you had an idiot spill a drink over it, in the span of an hour” the words were meant for self-deprecation, but the smile that accompanied him was utterly confident.

Had you had panties, they would have definitely hit the ground soundly in that moment.

“… it could have been worse” you mumbled, just as your eyes twinkled with secret meaning.

‘You could have been a complete twat or old enough to be my grandpa’

“… you couldn’t have known how to get out champagne stains” you joked, settling up on a more PG-13 comment, unsure of what to do, since it had been quite some time since you had last flirted, and although his hand told you a story, you weren’t exactly sure if he had gotten all the clues of the game.

He laughed so brilliantly that also a light blush joined your soft giggle.

“Gosh, that would have been awful” his tone was joking, but his eyes were onto you, as they searched some kind of confirm in yours, and you just had to lean in to sign the deal, leaning down to kiss him.

You had never been one for one-night-stands and neither for quick fucks in a restroom, but with the way he lightly gripped you, making sure to position you on top of the elegant porcelain sink, careful to avoid the water: it wouldn’t have been neither.

And you were completely swept away.

He definitely passed the ‘kiss’ test.

His hand went through your hair perfectly, but careful of the small updo you had done, his fingertips lightly scraping the baby hair on your upper neck, in a way that kept you grounded, just as his lips lightly bit onto your upper lips, leaving you wanting for more, just as he backed away with a cunning smirk.

One that spoke of that technique never failing.

And before he could perform again that cocky enchantment, you kissed him.

Releasing on him entire months of sexual frustration.

And you had to say that you surprised him, enough that you were worried that your suddenness would have scared him, but he just needed to regain the control, before his hand without any care went to mess up your updo, in a way that instead of grounding and relaxing you, made you tense up, just as his hand splayed your knees wide onto the sink to have him come up between them.

And after the passionate kiss you had been sharing, you found yourself quickly locked, with one that gripped you by the hair against the cold mirror and another one splayed on your knee

The fabric of your silk dress lightly caressed the skin of your inner thigh, right as his elegant and expensive pants did the same with your core, making you feel that you shouldn’t have seriously worried about the ‘five minutes thing’, or at least you hoped.

But the package seemed fucking good.

“… so, would you like to have a bit more of help?” the way he pronounced the word ‘help’ sounded downright sinful and how could a girl deny him, as your own hands moved to gently tap on his sharp cheeks, the scratchiness of a cleanly shaved beard making you feel like this was all real.

“Just don’t get my dress dirty” it was a whisper, but your eyes played with the dominance you wanted to relent to him, and he just looked intrigued.

“Then spread your legs properly, little one” and as if under a spell they opened properly and let him adjust himself against them as his hands lightly raised up to collect the dress away from your legs, stopping right up on your hips and leaving a bit of dress to cover you, as if he had to leave you some modesty “… good girl”.

You purred at that, leaning in the light petting of his grip having become less pronounced as a grip and more a caress.

“…  I saw you out there in the crowd and I wanted to buy you a drink, because you looked at unease as me, I thought that you could use that” he commented as his face lightly moved down to the crook of your neck, his nose making a teasing trail down your profile, just as his beard lightly scratched your skin, making it redden simply for his lips, before he covered it of purplish bruises “… I thought I had done the worst thing ever since with pouring a drink over you”.

“… couldn’t stay mad when you fucking looked like a sex god” you muttered unable to deny the truth, your body arching right against his as his hands, gently dragged he strap of your dress down your shoulders, revealing the awful skin-like bra, but he just seemed focused on your collarbones, his hand working slowly to ease the bra away from you, eventually dropping it onto the small tissues box over both of your heads, so it wouldn’t get on the ground.

An attentive gesture, exactly as the way he gripped tightly your breast, making sure that your nipples were lightly caressed by his thumb, right as he bit down on the softer flesh of your neck.

“I am glad that my good looks were of some use” he joked, and gently looked up at you “… and let me tell you, I have a tongue that will make you forget all about my clumsiness��.

“I do think that I deserve an apology” you muttered, as your eyes met again, your lashes cornering perfectly your hazy eyes, breathy and soft “… a vocal apology”.

And he simply smirked down at you, falling on his knees with a sound thud, as you pushed yourself further down the sink you were on, till you felt the painful dig of the faucet in your back, enough to make you moan in protest, but soon the look of wonder on his face as he unveiled the secret underneath your dress was definitely a relief against the uncomfortable position.

“… didn’t know that you were one of those girls that go without panties” he pushed a knee up on you to spread you further to him, as he took in the proper masterpiece that had been revealed to him down there, and his kisses moved up on your inner thigh “… look like the pretty girl turned out to be a bad bad girl, no wonder I am about to fuck you like a fucking bitch in heat in a restroom”.

And you blushed at the profane words.

But it was just more endearing for you as he pushed himself to properly settle against the nest between your legs, already oozing soft milk and sweet honey, his lips lightly pushing against your own, as he dragged the same beard you had felt on your cheeks against your cunt, the sensation making you hiss, right as again your lips came to soothe your ache.

The plumpness of his lips made you unable to stop yourself from moaning out loud, your eyes closing just as he delivered a slap to your thigh, a silent warning to keep your eyes trained on him and you did, as his lips sucked your softest piece in his mouth.

His tongue was instead a blessing inside of you and this time you were the one delving a bit of pain to him, as you grabbed strongly his hair, some kind of relief to keep you grounded as your body became like a cloud, weighted down just by the tension in your whole muscles.

“Fuck, you do know how to have fun” he mumbled tightly, as he released your cunt, something that made you protest loudly “… when was the last time somebody fucked you this good, (Y/N)”.

And before you could properly reply, his finger slipped inside you, making you hiss out at the feeling of being full, so unlike the stretch of your own fingers, so slight that now you needed a minute to calm yourself from everything, as you waited to answer his reply.

And he gave you a moment to breath, before his finger lightly probed further, reaching inside with a wayward gesture that made you choke up on your own words, as your back arched against the mirror and the hand that wasn’t in his hair gripped so tightly the sink that you were sure you had left an acrylic nail there.

“… a long time for sure” he smirked so devilishly that it broke you thoroughly.

And then his tongue matched his finger and before you knew it your floating was interrupted by your skyrocketing to the ground in a pleasurable trail that brought you back to all the earthly pleasure you could ask for, leaving you numb and tensed, your eyes rolling back as you lost sight of what was going on with you.

And then as you regained, your legs were slack over Duncan’s sides, his lips teasing again the skin of your neck, but no intention to punish you with any pain or tease you, instead there was a desperate soothing in his gestures, as you slowly came back to reality.

Fuck, you honestly should do this more.

Sadly, half of the guys that wanted a hook-up wouldn’t have ever done anything like what Duncan just did with you.

And would probably last five minutes, indeed.

“… was that enough of an apology?” he asked as soon as he saw that you had regained some semblance of calmness.

“Definitely yes” not that you could reply with much more.

Your fingers spoke louder as they went to his belt, undoing it with a bit of problem since you were slightly trembling, but he tried his best to let you do it, but before you could lower the pants, he gently grabbed your hands, something soft in his eyes, as he made you look up at him.

“We don’t have to do this…”.

“Oh, c’mon…” you mumbled, but his question was sincere and you couldn’t help but blush lightly “… I am pretty sure I want to do this”.

He mumbled softly, as he grabbed something from his back pocket, as you lightly lowered pants and boxers in one move,

And you weren’t disappointed,

He was definitely a big guy.

Larger than longer, with a light curve that made you painfully ache for having him inside of you, already half-hard, and your hand gently moved up and down on him, in a gentle foreplay that was completely uninterested about the knocking on the door, eventually dissipating in curses.

“… gotta be quiet baby” he commented, as he pushed his wallet on the side of the sink, getting a condom out of it, something for which you were thankful, because although you were on birth control, he was a complete stranger to you, and although the thrill of it just made it all just more daring, you would have preferred avoiding anything that might have given you an awful month “… I don’t know if you will, since I’ll make you feel fucking good”.

You just smirked at him, with a smile that told him ‘I can take it, sweetheart’.

And he just silenced it with pushing himself inside of you.

The penetration gave you an unpleasant stretch, and you needed a minute, as your whole body shifted against him, completely pushing himself in your arms, and to his credit he didn’t do much more than steady you, as he gave you the time to adjust yourself on him, till your whole body relaxed but your own insides.

Gripping him tighter.

Goading him closer and deeper.

And he gently set up a slow rhythm, making you feel each inch of him, till you were hypnotized with the way his hips moved against you, his upper body lightly stroking your clit, as wetness oozed down him, lubing him up, as he took up more speed and you found your back pushed against the mirror with such intensity that you were sure it would have been broken soon.

But you couldn’t give a fuck.

He gently pushed you in another position turning you around, so that you could face the mirror, meanwhile he took you from behind, the angle being deeper and the slight curve of his cock hitting the perfect spot.

And the fact that you could see yourself being fucked by him was only a bonus.

The way his face became so deformed by pleasure gave it all some kind of dreamish state, as the pleasure intensified desperately and you were there just on the right spot, but not enough stimulation was there for you, till he brought a finger in your mouth, and you sucked him inside, looking at the wanton expression on your face, before you closed your eyes.

And pleasure overtook you.

It didn’t take him too much time for him to finish alongside you, as his hand lightly went in your hair again, pushing as a way to grip on reality for a last time and your muscles spasmed around you, desperately and tightly in a way that almost made you wonder how it would have felt to have his seed on you.

And not in a plastic wrapper.

But for now that was all you could do.

Your legs trembled but he steadied you, something that definitely gave him more credit than you thought, expecting him to simply tug himself back in and disappear, maybe stand a bit next to you, to wash himself, but to his credit he gently  handled you better, till you were again seated against the sink, the facet now digging painfully in you.

But you were definitely sore in more pleasurable places.

He gently got you back in your dress, adjusting your bra on your sweaty skin, too sensitive for the powerful orgasms you had felt, his silken touch making goosebumps appear on your skin, as your nipples lightly peaked and he couldn’t stop himself from gently sucking one after the other in his mouth, as you moaned almost as a protest.

“Don’t start something you won’t finish” you warned him, as his eyes twinkled with teasing happiness.

“… I would… but I do think that people need this restroom” and he was right, since you felt somebody halfway through calling the security and you shouted out calmly a soft ‘sorry, I just stained my dress and I am trying to get the stain away’ “… but if you want, I can… leave you my number, for more fun…”.

Which you were tempted to take, honestly.

He was handsome, he had a good dick game and he was definitely respectful of boundaries.

But you knew these things always got too complex for you.

First of all because had you given him your number, you would have to admit the truth and secondly as much as you were free right now a partner that was repeated a few more times was dangerous, because feelings might be developed.

“… I…” but how could you let down a guy like this.

“… you aren’t the type” a sad smile appeared on the man’s face, no hard feelings for sure, but definitely uncomfortable at your rejection and you couldn’t help but simply nod “… got it, well it was fun till it lasted”.

And to his merit he didn’t do anything that might have been rough against you, choosing to instead smile politely as he cleaned himself a bit, before he exited with one last look at you, as if to check if you had changed your mind, but you simply stood painfully uncomfortable off the sink as you dabbed a bit more the stain.

“… thank you for the suggestion and…” ‘…the fucking amazing sex’.

“You are welcome”.

And with that he disappeared from the restroom, as you thought he’d disappear from your life.

The only trace of him was the faint stain on your dress and the slight blush on your cheeks as you joined Abigail again.

‘… somebody got lucky’ she simply muttered, as she twirled her glass, another one in your hands, as your eyes searched for Duncan, he joined a few of the investors, but your eyes diverted immediately from that sight, worried the connection might be seen and questioned ‘… at least one of us got laid tonight’.

You simply elbowed her, as you smiled lovingly at the sponsors.

But you definitely felt rebirthed after the restroom session.

Maybe you were wrong about not seeing him again.

Not that you hadn’t to wait much to meet him again.

That morning you had been asked to take part at a reunion of the stable, alongside a few sponsors that you had found at the latest event, it was a way to get them to know the ‘talents’ they’d fund, and as you expected old and older people to approach you, you were surprised to find Duncan standing there.

Hadn’t he been a complete stranger to the F1 platform?

And as your grew nervous and more nervous, your stable director came up to you and Abigail, slinging an arm over you both as he moved to get you and present you to him, making you blush as much as he did, but he was extremely professional.

You couldn’t, when you discovered he was your newest sponsor.

‘Girls let me introduce to you both our latest sponsor’ your boss commented softly ‘Duncan Shepherd’.

And he was Duncan fucking Shepherd.

The heir to the Shepherd foundation.

What the fuck had you done?

---

Duncan Shepherd (I don’t really have a taglist anymore, so if you are interested on being there for Michael do let me know, and I’ll add you, if I ever think about writing something for him again!):

@blakewaterxx​, @melodylangdon, @avocodys​, @ahsbitch​, @littlegirlsdontplaynice​, @accio-rogers​