#i think. i'm pretty sure there was a point

[gurlu]

When I was in my teens, I used to make an entire magic system with 360+ unique spells, ordered in magic schools and categories, and it boggles my mind that I basically reinvented DnD mechanics, even down to metamagic.

I wanted to make a wiki about it but I don't have time for it.

The point was to try to encompass every "superpower" I could think of into a magic system.

I even got lore related to it all, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna simply reuse it all for OC worldbuilding. Ngl the fun part was naming all the spells, symbols and coming up with the logic of it all.

[gf2bellamy]

Hey, can I please request some jealous! Spencer, who is experiencing extreme jealousy over the reader let's say she gets hit on by an officer or something, and Spencer obvious as ever gets super confused on why he's feeling like this, and Morgan or Emily had to spell it out for him

jealousy — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: officer flirting with reader , mentioned that reader is not flirting back / uncomfortable , lots of teasing from morgan and emily a/n: hiii !! hope you like this <3

Spencer narrowed his eyes. 

He didn’t even realize he was doing it at first, not until his grip on the file in his hands tightened, the papers inside bending under the pressure of his fingers. His focus was locked on the scene just outside the conference room—on you. 

More specifically, on you and the police officer standing a little too close, talking to you with a cocky smile that made Spencer’s blood heat in a way he didn’t quite understand.

He barely noticed Derek and Emily sitting at the table, as he zeroed in on the way the officer leaned toward you, the way you gave a small, awkward smile in return. 

That smile. Spencer knew that smile. It was the one you used when you didn’t know how to get out of a conversation. 

So why wasn’t this guy picking up on it? 

Spencer’s jaw clenched. His fingers dug into the file again, creasing the edges. 

“Uh-oh,��� Derek muttered, his voice laced with amusement as he leaned back in his chair, watching Spencer with knowing eyes. “Pretty Boy’s got that look.” 

Emily smirked, following Derek’s gaze to where Spencer sat, practically glaring a hole through the glass wall. “Reid, you okay?” she asked, raising a brow. 

Spencer blinked as if snapping out of a trance, forcing himself to look away and meet Emily’s gaze. “What—? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” He nodded too quickly.

Derek’s grin widened as he pointed to the crumpled papers in Spencer’s hands. “You sure? ‘Cause those files say otherwise.” 

Spencer’s eyes darted down, realizing how badly he had crumpled them, and immediately began smoothing them out, his ears burning. “I just—” He hesitated, clearing his throat before trying again. “I just don’t think he should be talking to her that much.” 

Emily and Derek exchanged a glance, their smirks growing. 

Spencer didn’t notice. He was still rambling, eyes flickering back toward the glass as the officer laughed at something you said. 

“I mean, she clearly doesn’t want to be talking to him,” he continued, gesturing slightly. “She keeps shifting her weight from one foot to the other—classic sign of discomfort. And see how she keeps tucking her hair behind her ear? That’s not flirting, that’s self-soothing behavior.” 

Derek snorted. “So what you’re saying is, this guy should take a hint?” 

“Exactly!” Spencer exclaimed, throwing a hand in the air before realizing how worked up he sounded. He cleared his throat, lowering his voice. “And besides, she has work to do. He’s just distracting her, and he—” 

He stopped abruptly, biting his lip. 

Emily tilted her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “And he…?” 

Spencer’s mouth opened and closed. “And he… should just go away,” he finished lamely, shifting uncomfortably. 

Derek let out a low whistle, shaking his head in mock sympathy. “Damn, kid. That’s rough.” 

Spencer frowned. “What’s rough?” 

Emily leaned in, her grin sharp. “That is some textbook jealousy, Reid.” 

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly. “What? No, that’s not—” 

“You are so jealous,” Derek cut in, laughing. “Man, I’ve never seen you look that mad before.” 

“I'm not mad,” Spencer argued, though the way his voice rose slightly didn’t help his case. “I'm just… concerned.” 

Emily chuckled. “Concerned about what? That he'll ask her out and that she'll go out with him?” 

Spencer hesitated. Too long. 

Derek and Emily exchanged a glance, their smirks deepening as they watched realization flicker across his face—like a puzzle piece slotting into place, but one he didn’t want to acknowledge. 

“Just accept it, genius. You’re jealous,” Derek said, amusement laced through every word. 

Spencer barely looked up from his crumpled file, his ears burning. “No, I’m not,” he muttered, but the words lacked conviction. 

Emily leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk. “Spencer.” 

That got his attention. He finally glanced up, still slightly red, eyes darting between them like he was searching for an escape route. 

Emily didn’t let up. “You like her.” 

Spencer opened his mouth, then closed it again. His silence spoke louder than words. 

Derek let out a low whistle, shaking his head with a grin. “Wow. You really do like her.” 

Spencer huffed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Emily smirked. “Oh, come on. Don’t try to outsmart us, Reid. You might have the IQ, but we’ve got the experience.” 

Derek nodded in agreement. “And the eyes. And the ears. And the ability to read social cues—which, by the way, you suck at when it comes to your own feelings.” 

Spencer scowled. “I am perfectly capable of understanding my own emotions.” 

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. So if I asked you for the real reason as to why you’ve been glaring at that officer like that, what would you say?” 

Spencer stiffened. “I wasn’t glaring.” 

Derek chuckled. “My guy, you were about two seconds away from burning a hole through the glass.” 

Emily leaned closer. “Face it, Reid. You like her. And you don’t like that she’s talking to another guy.” 

Spencer groaned, running a hand through his hair. “This is ridiculous.” 

“Oh, is it?” Derek shot back. “Then say it.” 

Spencer blinked. “Say what?” 

Derek gestured toward him. “Say you don’t like her. Say you don’t care if that dude asks her out.” 

Spencer opened his mouth—ready to argue, ready to say whatever he needed to just to shut them up. But the words wouldn’t come out. 

Emily grinned, victorious. “That’s what I thought.” 

Spencer exhaled sharply, looking down at the file in his hands as if it could save him. 

Derek clapped a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, kid. Admitting it is the first step.” 

Spencer shook his head, grumbling under his breath before finally muttering, “Fine. Maybe I do.” 

Emily gasped dramatically. “Sorry, what was that?” 

Spencer muttered a small. “You heard me.” 

Derek cupped a hand around his ear. “Nah, I don’t think I did. Sounded like you said something, but it was real quiet—” 

Spencer let out an exasperated sigh. “I like her, okay?” 

Derek leaned back with a satisfied nod. “There it is.” Emily beamed. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

Spencer buried his face in his hands. “This is a nightmare.” 

Derek just laughed. “Buddy, your nightmare is just beginning. Now you actually have to do something about it.” 

[chaoskirin]

Unfortunately, while this would be the answer to all our problems, I'm pretty sure the answer is a lot simpler than Elon is making it.

The tech is there. We know how to build a ship that will get us to space and back.

The shuttles flew 135 missions and catastrophically lost 2 ships in 30 years. Elon has launched 8 starships and lost... 4? We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. The technology is there. Space travel is still dangerous, but we can get people to space and back without exploding something every couple months.

The record should be improving. WE KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. If we lost a ship 5 years after starting the program, and the next 20 years after starting the program, then the next catastrophic explosion should be at least another 40 years.

The technology should improve. That's how technology works.

Now I am posting this with a disclaimer. This is my OPINION. It is not fact, and it is not libel. These are my thoughts, based on observation. New technology should not be exploding. We have been doing this for a long fucking time.

I think he is designing the "starships" to fail. Put the least amount of money into them and pocket the remainder. Claim it costs $30 million. Actually build it for 10, with shit parts. Pocket $20 million.

The point is, the technology is there. If he's building a starship that's going to take him specifically into space, it's going to be the only one in whatever fleet they manage to cobble together that is of sound design.

When Challenger exploded, NASA grounded the entire fleet for ALMOST THREE YEARS to figure out what was wrong. Space X started launching dumpsters into the atmosphere in 2023 and they have already exploded 4 ships. In 30 years, NASA lost TWO.

There is something insidiously wrong here. There is no way this is normal. We should be building on the science. NASA was not a private organization. The design and schematics of the shuttles are not copyrighted. THERE IS NO REASON multiple rockets should be exploding at launch.

Unless they are designed to do so.

LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST LET'S GET THIS FUCKER EXPLODEDED

[peachylynnie]

what jewelry they like on you

word count: ~300-400 per lead contains: lads men x non!mc reader, established relationship, they all adore you, jewelry descriptions, fluff, suggestive themes (sylus, rafayel, and caleb), and did i mention fluff? make it toothrotting. a/n: it's midterm season so headcanons it is. again, these are headcanons so i'm not saying i'm right. just my silly little interpretations. inspired by my impulsive buy of a bracelet the other day. no, my wallet hasn't recovered. reblogs and comments are always appreciated! tagged: @vvintqz (a little headcanon for xavier, lmk if u want me to stop tagging) lads masterlist

sylus

necklaces all the way

has a preference for silver chains with red or black charms

it's his signature colors on your pretty neck

loves it even more when the charm rests between your collarbones

if you want his nose to bleed, wear a long necklace

yes, the one that goes all the way down to your chest

but if you really want to get him going

wear a choker

doesn't even have to be a chain type or have charms

if it's a choker, he'll fold, like dogs to a bone

you can't blame him

it enticingly accentuates the rest of your neck and collarbones, the two places he likes to leave marks on

don't worry if you're hypoallergenic (like me)

he only ever gets you the finest of materials, even if you point out the cost

not that you mind or anything

"sylus," you whine.

you're going to be late. again. all because of this silver-haired man who's refusing to leave your neck alone.

"sylus!" you gasp when he tugs down the choker, his dewy lips taking advantage of the newly exposed spot.

you're starting to regret wearing a choker (not really). you thought it went well with your outfit. and it did! it added a little pop to your look, and you were excited to wear it for the first time in a while.

"hey!" you squirm in his embrace when you feel the poke of his teeth. "no marks!"

"does it really matter, sweetie?" he asks nonchalantly before continuing his assault on your neck. he loves how his tongue occasionally meets with the smooth fabric of your choker. "this," he tugs on it some more, eliciting a soft whimper from you. "will cover them."

sighing, you make a mental note to apologize to your friends for being late when you meet them.

xavier

earrings

especially studs or the mini drop ones that come in cute graphic designs.

there's just something about the way the adorable little charms hang from your ears

really, he thinks they complement your face shape

and he loves to cup your face whenever

but when you wear the ones that are star-themed

he's looking at you as if you're the one who hung them up in the night sky

seriously, he's never seen anything more beautiful

it also strokes his jealousy (?) in a way (cuz yk he's all abt the stars)

but that's worth like...less than 1% of the experience

he just really loves seeing you wear them

don't worry if your ears aren't pierced

clip-ons are a thing, and he'll make sure to get that ones that are both high quality and comfortable

he also loves watching you put them on

his cheeks hurt from smiling too much. he tries to cover his rosy face when you lean towards the mirror.

you're adjusting the backing of your new star stud. furrowing your brows, you tilt your head to the side for a better look.

xavier swears he's never seen anything more beautiful in his life. here you are, making something so simple as adjusting an earring look so skillful and charming.

"done!" you secure the backing and spin around to show your boyfriend. "what do you think?"

"yeah," he nods softly. "i think you're glowing."

you giggle and embrace him tightly.

"thanks for surprising me with them," you chirp, peering up at him.

the stars on your ears shine. no different from your eyes.

"anything for you, starlight," he whispers, stroking your cheek with a thumb. "anything for you."

rafayel

bracelets

listen

we all know this man is a FIEND for our hands

i may not have all of his five-star cards

but tell me why it is that in all the ones i have, he's YEARNING for our hands at some point

jumps at every chance to help you put one on

has a thing for cuff bracelets

like the metal swirly ones that hold a jewel in the middle

they exude the sense of royalty in a way (he's a god so)

most definitely has designed some for you too

and by some, i mean numerous

what's really heartwarming about that though is that he collects the materials himself

the amount of seashells he has preserved for you

but back to him being down bad for our hands

there's something about the way cuff accompanies the bare skin of your wrist and gently presses against your pulse

he's in heaven whenever he nuzzles against your wrist and feels the cool metal graze his heated skin.

"wait," you squint at the bracelet rafayel just secured around your wrist. "did you design this?"

"yup," he answers with a puffed chest. "good eye, cutie. how'd you know?"

you roll your eyes lovingly.

"first of all, i'm your partner, raf." turning your wrist, you admire the intricate swirls of the cuff. "second of all, your works normally have a trademark."

"oh?" he grabs your wrist and pulls you to him, his lips already tracing your wrist. "and what would that be?"

you try not to shudder when his siren eyes meet yours.

"isn't this from one of your lemuria collections?" you shakily gesture towards the sapphire seashell crested on top. "you always reference lemuria in your works, right?"

"wrong," his tongue darts out, savoring your quickened pulse as punishment for your incorrect answer. "it's not just lemuria i always reference in my works."

he tightens the cuff.

"it's you, cutie."

zayne

rings

he loves the subtlety of them

especially the ones made out of thinner bands

they bring out the beauty of your fingers

he loves the way they shine whenever you move your hands too

let's say the two of you are at a cafe

sitting across from each other and reading novels

except he gets distracted (in a good way) whenever your flip a page

your ring glimmers in the sunlight that's peeking through the window

oh wow, not only is there a halo over your head, there's a halo around your finger too

he can't help but reach out at some point

and trace your left ring finger

imagining what it would be like to gift you one

a simple one that conveys an impactful message

one he hopes you'll say yes to

and bound not only both his and your left ring fingers

but also your souls to each other

"zayne? are you alright?"

he snaps out of his thoughts, lifting his chin from his palm.

"sorry," he apologizes as smoothly as he can. "could you repeat that?"

you smile endearingly. his heart beats rapidly.

"i asked if you were alright."

"yes," he answers before clearing his throat. "yes, of course. why?"

"oh, it's just," you giggle. "you're still tracing my finger."

zayne immediately retracts his hand.

"sorry," he apologizes again. this time profusely. "did i make you uncomfortable?"

"no, no," you immediately reassure. "i liked it. it's just you were doing it for a while..." you pause before continuing. "i thought you were checking for dead skin or something."

zayne blinks.

"you thought i was checking for dead skin?" he repeats incredulously.

you nod slowly. now it's your turn to be flustered.

at that, he chuckles with a shake of his head and returns to tracing your left finger, ignoring your amusing assurances about how you always wash your hands thoroughly.

yes, he's most definitely going to marry you.

caleb

anklets

this totally wasn't inspired by that one scene in the main story where he pins our leg down with his evol

nope not at all

i don't know what you're talking about

he likes the ones that come with dangly charms

this is because he can hear you whenever you move

interpret that however you want

but really, he loves how the sound gets louder and louder

because that means you're moving TOWARDS him

he wants to gift you a whole bunch of charms

specifically apple and sky themed

it's over for him if you wear it while your legs are exposed

that man is on the floor, his hands haphazardly roaming up and down your bare skin

and when he notices the anklet with the charms that he gifted?

it's over for you

his fingers are slipping underneath the anklet, wrapping around your ankle, and pulling you to him

where's his face at?

uhhhhh

you're trying to control your breathing. you really are. but it's hard to when there's a man, an incredibly gorgeous one with lavender eyes deep enough to engulf you whole, settled in front of you, specifically in between your legs.

thankfully (not really), he hasn't done anything yet. he's just kneeling there with his metal fingers snaked around your ankle and his eyes transfixed on the anklet you decided to wear.

"uhm," you start, nervously shifting on the couch. "is there something wrong with my ankle, caleb?"

he finally looks at you. you can't tell if he's angry. definitely not with your foot resting against his broad shoulder.

"nothing's wrong, pips." he speaks after an eternity.

you sigh in relief. eager to get out of this compromising position, you try to put your foot down. keyword: try.

"caleb, what-"

"when did you put the charm on?"

"oh, uh," you notice him looking at the anklet again, but more at the apple charm. it has a snake coiled around it. "a while ago? i think as soon as you gave it to me."

he breathes in sharply.

you think it's over when he releases you. you're proven wrong when he grabs both of your ankles and drags you to the end of the couch, his chin dangerously close to your core.

"you really don't make it easy for me, pips."

[keferon]

So.... how do you want Jazz's enclosure? I'm planning out some things, but I want to know how you want the story to go. Is it completely empty or really nice or something in between?

So far he has two, his main tank and his stage tank.

Please tell me your desire, what is your vision. 🌟

This will effect not only the vibe but the world. Don't let me pick, I have too many possibilities, and I need a point to start the "butterfly effect" lol ^^;

-GLC

You know by asking me you probably just erased any hope he had for a nice comfy place ahahahha

Basically. I'm thinking of something similar to what most of the real world aquariums have. Which is haaahhm. Not fucking comfortable. Because the whole thing is just a concrete pool. With NOTHING inside. Sure Jazz can escape from it at nights and go wander around but his own place is an empty box. Staff can bring him some toys and fun stuff like music but they aren't allowed to let him keep it.

Half of the reason - empty pool is infinitely easier to maintain. Another half comes from the first one - it is also cheaper. If there's no objects then Jazz wouldn't accidentally break them and their pieces wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone or clog the filtration system or something.

So I'm thinking yeah he would have his main tank and the stage tank but this is it. No pretty/comfy/fun places to live in. Cause that's how bad it is in real life. Empty concrete box that will make you want to bash your head against the nearest wall just from sheer boredom.

I'm not sure what kind of architecture you had in mind but I was imagining something like this pretty much the whole time

Surely there's a lot of people who find this cruel but unfortunately Jazz is basically a money printing machine for the aquarium bosses so their number one goal is to make the most profit with as little expenses as possible.

Which results in Jazz having such poor physical and mental state. Between the performances and training sessions he basically lives in solitary confinement.

[marikamlp]

Pit Girl Feast Analysis (season 3)

Possible spoilers I suppose

Before this season is over and we all know for sure who is who during the feast, I want to make my contribution to the analysis of who is who here. (This is a long post but bear with me, please)

My analysis will not include Misty because, obviously, we all know she is playing the so-called "Overseer" in the original script, who prepares food off-screen.

So let's start off with...

Tai

Tai is a pretty easy one because we were pretty much told who she is during the promo for the panel in Brazil

There are two characters that are wearing pretty similar outfits. The one on the left and the one in the middle on the right photo. However, only one of them is wearing the green gloves. So the one on the left would be Tai.

Melissa

I do think Melissa survives at least up until Pit Girl feast. And I think Melissa is the bunny costume, as both the bunny and Melissa's character in the winter BTS photos from season 3 are the only ones wearing the Yellowjackets uniform

But I also find it very interesting that Melissa is wearing a mask that is visibly resembling a rabbit given Shauna's history with rabbits in the adult timeline and their connection to Jackie.

Gen

In the BTS photo, Gen seems to be wearing the same kind of raccoon fur and green bandana as the middle character in the second photo. It's definitely an interesting choice to make Gen a survivor for that long given how unimportant she has been up until this point but I think it also makes sense since she seems to be on Shauna's and Melissa's side. And it makes sense because I think that...

Shauna is the Antler Queen

Since season 1, Shauna has been struggling with envy and greed for power. And I love her, but she is a queen of blaming others for her falling to the background. We know she's been angry at Jackie and blaming her for putting Shauna in the shadow. And she seems to be doing the same with her envy over Natalie's position. However, Natalie is clearly not doing well as a leader, girls are not really listening to her and she seems to be unable to actually grasp how to execute the power that is connected to her position. And we know that these scenes will take place in the near future:

Which for me seems like Shauna will question Natalie's leadership, and she might actually rise to the power and take up the position as the new leader.

I've also got a photo proof for that:

I don't think that any of the other characters' outfits seem to fit this closely to the Antler Queen's attire.

Van

She's a hard one. I'm somewhat sure and unsure of my choice at the same time. The BTS photo of Liv is not really showing much however I feel like the little part of the shirt is looking a bit similar to the shirt of the "Hunter" (Now I know this name does not fit Van and I agree but let's remember this is the name that has been used to describe this character in the scrip of the Pilot episode, I don't think it was ever set in stone and as we have seen with Javi, all of the girls take on the "hunter" role during the hunt)

But what's more, look at the hunter's shirt. It seems to be looking like the one Van is wearing both in season 3 and season 1 and might also be in season 2 but I don't remember it from season 2 so don't hold me up on that:

We can also see Travis wear that shirt in season 2

but I think it's mostly associated with Van's character or at least she's the one wearing it the most.

My last proof is the face mask sweater pattern. Because in one of the teasers for season 3 I believe, we can see Van wearing a sweater with the same pattern as the one on the face mask:

Misty has also worn a sweater with a pattern like that, might be the same one to be honest

But again, we know who Misty is already, as it was revealed in the pilot episode and Van is the only one who has been seen wearing both the face mask and the shirt of the "Hunter" throughout the series. And also in season 3, and I wouldn't take that for granted.

Travis and Lottie

Both of them are a question mark for me. There are only two places by the fire left and I do not think Nat is present for the feast and I will discuss that in a while. So solely based on the similarity of the hair, I would put Lottie as the pink hoodie character

Which would leave as with this seating:

Where is Nat?

We do know that Nat is one of the survivors in adult timeline so she has not been eaten and sacrificed to the Wilderness. But I think she might not be a part of the cult. Shauna has a history with throwing people out and even though Nat doesn't die the way Jackie did, I think she will be exiled to survive on her own as Shauna's punishment for Nat. Which would explain why her outfit in the BTS photos from what little angle we get seems to be looking more civilised and less culty than other girls

Now, does that mean there are 9 survivors or does it mean Pit Girl is in fact not the last sacrifice? I don't know honestly, and I think we might not find out during this season. We can only wait, watch and speculate.

If you've gotten this far, congratulations and thank you for indulging me

[sunderwight]

The Solo Leveling anime has now reached the point of the story that, in the webcomic, almost turned me into Peerless Cucumber from Scum Villain. Which means I finally get to yell about it!

Yes this story does not want any actual interiority and is largely running on Rule of Cool, but you'd think there could at least be a TOKEN EFFORT to come up with an actual reason for Jinwoo to decline to join the Jeju raid (so that he can just sweep in at the last minute and play Big Damn Hero anyway ofc). It wouldn't even be hard! This part of the story almost coincides with the last bit of his journey to get the cure for his mom anyway! All you'd have to do is shift the timing a little bit so that his final fight with the demons overlaps with the raid, and it would make perfect sense that he'd want to go get the cure instead and decline to go fight ants.

But no. Nope. Instead he's just like, I can't participate in this incredibly important raid that might mean the difference between the survival and annihilation of my country because my mom needs help. How am I helping her by fucking around in a park instead? While she apparently does all the housework and is in perfect health? When hunting shit is literally my job that brings in the only paycheck? Who knows! She even basically gave me permission to go! I still plan on being a hunter as my day job! I'm still leveling up! But I'm not gonna participate because nahhhh.

It's not even a character development thing, we're not even exploring his trauma or selfishness or perhaps the aversion to teamwork, it is literally just because.

Even his assertion that "oh well the strike team can almost certainly handle it" feels weak, because exactly none of his prior experiences would support that mindset. Every single raid he has participated in so far has gone to shit. He doesn't have a lot of faith in anyone else's abilities. He's pretty sure he can take the strongest guy going to this thing, and the island has notoriously killed S ranks before and all the news reports are emphasizing that the ants have only gotten stronger since the past (failed) raids.

I hate this part of the story because there is no reason for it to be this stupid, except that it just is this stupid. The only reason Jinwoo doesn't go to the raid is the doylist reason that he can't arrive at the last minute if he participates from the start. The watsonian reason is so flimsy it nearly doesn't exist at all.

[hellenhighwater]

Do you think there's any chance you'll make multiple of the two headed calf (like how you've made multiple Astarions)? I'm a sucker for anything related to a two headed calf and if you were selling them, well, there's no mountain that I wouldn't move to purchase one

Maybe! I'm enjoying the one I'm currently working on, but also not really sure I need to keep it--like most of what I make, it's more about putting it into reality than it is about possessing it myself--so it's pretty likely this one will be for sale at some point. I don't often do multiples but it's terribly cute and I don't think I'll ever be over that poem, so.....maybe.

[organic-bloodbath]

Could you do a Dae ho fic where the (fem)reader is pretty emotionless, but she still joins gi-hun's group. then like once she meets dae ho she's just very bluntly like "I like, you are mine, I'm protecting you" and continues to threaten people that cause issues to dae ho and only really listens when he tells her to do something

I think it would be cute to see dae ho really flustered by that

Kimchi

Dae-ho x Reader

Summary: As above.

A/N: This request has been sitting in my inbox like forever am sorry. Hope it's okay 🫶🏻

☆☆☆

The first time Dae-ho saw you was during the Red Light, Green Light game on your first day. You were standing a few metres ahead of him, he could see you during the entire game and for some reason couldn't get his eyes off you. That much you stood out of the other players.

When people started running around in total panic and were getting shot, you didn't even flinch – not one bit. You stayed completely still as if you were standing alone at a bus stop waiting for the next bus, while Dae-ho's entire body was trembling in fear.

Whenever it was time to move towards the finish line again, you only goofed and played around as you ran forward, once doing a pirouette in the air and landing on one foot, reminding Dae-ho of a figure skater, just when the doll turned around to scan the area. You didn't look like you were taking this seriously at all, while people were getting killed all around you.

Only someone with a death wish or no will to live would act like that.

But somehow, you managed to reach the finish line in time, even faster than majority of the other players. You sat on the ground, cross-legged while the players on the other side were shot. Again, it was like you were deaf and didn't hear the gunshots at all and was watching merely a theatre act play out in front of you.

You were so unbothered it disturbed Dae-ho but also made him intrigued what made you to be that way – unless it was purely a personality trait of yours which you had been born with.

☆☆☆

You sat cross-legged on the floor, looking at the players around you, who were asking to join to other people's group and trying to form groups of five. You were still by yourself, not really sure who you should approach. So, you didn't.

Soon, a man approached you, standing next to you.

"We're missing one more player. Would you like to join us?" he asked.

You turned your head upwards to look at him. It was player 456. The same old guy who had screamed at the others during the first game how you were all going to die if you moved even an inch.

"Why should i?" you asked.

"Well, you seem to be alone and time's running out soon," he pointed out.

Even though he had looked like a crazy person in the field yesterday, he had been right of the purpose of these games. Thinking about it right now, he felt like a safe option to group up with.

"Hm," you hummed. "Where's your group then?"

456 pointed towards a group of three men who were looking towards you. So, at least strength wouldn't be a problem, if that was required during the game. Not that you'd call yourself weak at all.

"Alright," you agreed and got up, walking past 456 to his group without another word, not even glancing back at him.

You looked at the men sitting on the floor one by one, your gaze landing on the youngest one.

"Hey, you're cute," you stated and stepped closer to the player 388, sitting next to him. "What's your name?"

"Um, Kang Dae-ho," he introduced himself, cheeks turning slightly pink for the compliment. He was handsome, anyone with eyes could tell as much.

"I like that," you grinned.

While you waited for your group's turn to play, Dae-ho gathered a few stones from the ground to practice gonggi to warm himself up beforehand.

You watched him playing with the rocks, able to catch most of them but failing once in a while. Every time he failed, his hand started shaking, and he inhaled a deep breath to calm himself down. You liked to see him all concentrated, brows knitted together.

Dae-ho finally succeeded to pass one of the tries, joy and relief clear on his face. He had a really nice smile. He put the rocks down on the ground and turned his head towards you, not having fully realized how you had been staring at him the entire time. Gi-hun and Young-il hadn't been paying attention to him more than with a few glances, wanting to give him peace to practice.

"Hope i get it right a little faster during the actual game," Dae-ho nervously chuckled.

"You will," you nodded. "But no stress, it's really fine by me whether you win or lose."

"What do you mean?" he asked, furrowing his brows in confused manner.

"Personally i don't care if i live or die," you shrugged, turning your face towards the group which was playing now. Fifteen seconds left. "I guess it would be kind of nice to live though. I still have many seasons of different TV shows i want to see before i die."

Dae-ho examined your face silently for a moment. Then, the time ran out and the guards shot all the members of the group which had lost.

"Why don't you care about that?" Dae-ho asked a little while after the shootings had quieted down.

"Hm?"

"Living or dying," he specified.

"I don't have anything to live for, really," you explained, your face showing no emotion at all. The expression on your face could be same when you'd talk about something boring and meaningless. "But don't worry, i'll do my best to win this game and let you live."

Your words were meant to calm Dae-ho down but they didn't do the job entirely well. Relaxing and calming down other people wasn't one of your strengths at all, it never had been. Most of the times you managed to upset people even more than to cheer them up.

Finally, it was your group's turn to play. You were the last ones to play, so the waiting had felt like forever.

All of your feet were locked with each other, and you had to put a lot of effort on making sure you'd walk in sync to prevent yourselves from collapsing on the floor.

You weren't sure which one of the five of you was at fault – certainly not you, at least –, but after two games all five of you fell on the floor. It was surprisingly hard to get up. You wanted to curse the person who stumbled in his feet and tripped, causing a chain reaction.

"You okay?" Dae-ho asked and offered his hand to you, helping you up.

"Yeah, fine," you mumbled, letting go of his hand when you were standing again and gained back your balance.

Eventually you managed to pass all the mini games and crossed the finish line just in time.

"Good job, everyone," Gi-hun congratulated, looking at every member of the team one by one like a proud father would look at his children, you included.

☆☆☆

After the voting that evening, Dae-ho was approached by three men who didn't look satisfied at all. The player 124 grabbed the collar of Dae-ho's shirt and pushed him against the wall.

"You changed your vote to X, huh?" the player 124 stated, a furious glint in his eyes. "Wrong move, my man."

"Listen, there's no need for –," Dae-ho started peacefully but his efforts weren't going to work. Dae-ho didn't want to start a fight with no reason, but the player 124 wasn't the type of person to only talk arguments out and solve the problems with his tongue, no. He had a way different kind of temper compared to Dae-ho.

"I'm not going home because your loser ass was too coward to play one more game," 124 growled. "So, tomorrow–"

"Back the fuck off," you yelled, marching towards the guys. 124 let go of Dae-ho and turned towards you.

124 glanced back at Dae-ho, crossing his arms against his chest. "What, your little girlfriend is going to save you, huh?" 124 scoffed. "You let her fight instead of being man enough to do it by yourself?" He started laughing like a maniac.

You stepped right in front of him, lifting your chin a little to be able to look into his eyes.

"I'll give you one warning," you threatened with a calm and sweet voice. "Leave him alone or you'll regret it."

A cocky smirk spread on his face.

"And what are you going to do about it if i won't?" 124 asked, the tone of his voice like he was talking to a mere child. "You-"

You kicked him right into his crotch as hard as you could, making him whine and fold in half. When his head was bent low enough, you did one more kick on his face, sending him flying backwards until his back hit the floor. He was holding his bleeding nose which was surely broken.

Two hands grabbed your shoulders behind you, pulling you towards them.

"Fucking psycho bitch!" he shouted as his friends helped him back up. His fingers were being dyed bright red.

Dae-ho only looked at you and the player 124 with wide eyes, not expecting you to attack him like that. By just looking at you, he would have never guessed you could take down a man in just a few seconds.

Dae-ho felt his cheeks burning up, not sure what to do. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty of someone getting hurt because he was being protected. Even though 124 was an asshole. Nobody had ever beat someone up for him.

Especially not a gorgeous girl like you – that made Dae-ho even more flustered.

"Come on, let's go," Dae-ho whispered into your ear – afraid you'd explode if he spoke too loudly at the moment – and started pulling you away with him before the player 124 would be fully on his feet again.

When you were alone, you turned to face Dae-ho whose cheeks were still red.

"Did they hurt you?" you asked, taking his head in your hands and turned his face side to side to see any bruises or cuts but luckily found none.

Dae-ho took a hold on your wrists, stopping whatever you were doing.

"I'm fine," Dae-ho assured you. "Just, promise me to stay away from them?" He nodded towards the direction where you had just come from. He was afraid those men would come back to you when you'd least expect it and beat you up twice as bad.

"But i don't want them to touch you," you stated.

"Promise me, Y/N," Dae-ho repeated seriously, now putting more weight on his words. "Don't start pissing them off even more."

"Fine," you said, sounding annoyed and rolling your eyes.

"Have you practiced taekwondo or where did you learn to kick like that?" Dae-ho asked.

You let Dae-ho guide you back to Gi-hun and Young-il's company, sitting on the floor nearby them.

"Ever since i was 11 years old," you admitted. "Have to be able to protect yourself somehow."

Dae-ho was curious if you had a specific reason to make sure you would be able to protect yourself growing up or if it was only a useful hobby. You noticed his suspicious look, analyzing it a lot different than what he was actually thinking.

"What, just because i'm smaller than you i'm not able to defend myself?" you scoffed, sounding highly offended.

Dae-ho's eyes widened. "No, no that's not, i didn't mean it like that," he quickly stuttered.

"You're cute when you panic," you stated, causing Dae-ho to blush.

You let out a laugh, making Dae-ho confused.

Stop calling me cute, Dae-ho thought. It was making him nervous. That kind of nervous only you would be able to cause him to feel out of all these players there right now. A small part of him did want you to call him cute one more time, but that would be such a weird request.

☆☆☆

During Mingle, you stood next to Dae-ho in the large carousel, your other teammates near you as well. You grabbed Dae-ho's hand without even looking at him, like it was the most natural thing to do for you, keeping your fingers tightly between his.

Dae-ho looked at you without a word. You noticed his stare from the corner of your eye and turned your face towards him.

"What?" you asked.

He quickly glanced at your hands, not sure what to say.

"Oh, is this okay?" you asked. "I just don't want to lose the sight of you."

"Yeah, it's alright," Dae-ho replied and gave you a smile, tightening his grip in your hand.

You couldn't see his cheeks turn a little pink in this lighting, but he sure felt his face becoming warmer. He felt like a child being looked after by a temperamental mother – although he didn't hate having someone take care of him and make sure he was okay.

You were giving him extremely mixed feelings he had to battle with all by himself.

The room became a massive chaos whenever it was time to choose a certain amount of people for your group. Each round you were with different people, except you and Dae-ho. You held his hand the entire time, not letting him wander away from you. You had decided by yourself to be a package deal – either you both died or both lived. Dae-ho didn't seem to refuse your company either, not pulling his hand away no matter how sweaty his palm had become.

It was time to choose a room in pairs, and you didn't have to hesitate even a second who to choose to join you. You instantly started leading Dae-ho towards one of the rooms and got inside one without too many issues.

When the door was locked and you were safe, you watched through the gap on the door how the guards shot the remaining players who hadn't been able to get into safety. It made you wonder which game would be the one where they shot you dead if you didn't get back home first.

"Can i ask you something?" Dae-ho asked behind you, almost startling you. "If i'm not being too nosy."

You turned around and stepped next to him.

"Why don't you care about dying?"

You looked at him with furrowed brows. "Why should i? It's only natural."

"Don't you have, i don't know, anyone in your life you'd miss? Or what you'd miss doing?"

"I'm not religious, Dae-ho. I can't miss anything when i don't exist anymore," you explained but then thought about it for a moment. "Well, I suppose i'd miss eating kimchi."

"Kimchi?"

"Yeah, my mom used to make the best kimchi when i was little," you smiled. "And there's one place which serve the second best kimchi, right after my mom of course."

Smile spread on Dae-ho's face as well when he saw you smiling. Even though Dae-ho hadn't known you longer than a few days, he figured it took effort to pull a smile out of you.

"My mom's been gone for a long time though. I don't have any family left anymore. My friends abandoned me too," you admitted, smile completely faded from your lips now, words becoming quieter as well. "And I have no money, i was kicked out from my apartment because i couldn't pay rent anymore."

You shook your head and turned around, not able to face him right now.

"I'm sorry, i didn't mean to start rambling like that," you apologized and tried to back away from Dae-ho. He gently grabbed your wrist, keeping you close to him.

"It's okay. I like to hear you ramble." You looked at him surprised. "I'll take you for some kimchi when we go home," Dae-ho suggested.

"I don't need pity kimchi," you laughed.

"It's not pity," he said with half a smile. "I'd like to get to know you better and see what's under that tough shell you keep up. Find the part of you which would prefer to live."

You felt your cheeks warming up a little, just hoping your skin wouldn't turn too noticeably pink. Nobody had wanted to get to know you in a long time. In several years. You had gotten used to the fact that you didn't have friends who cared about you and your wellbeing. You weren't very approachable either, you were very well aware of that.

The door unlocked itself right then, interrupting your conversation which you suddenly didn't want to end. You wanted to stay here just a little while longer, just the two of you out of everyone else's sight. One more moment alone.

Neither of you moved for a moment, waiting for the other leave first.

"I doubt they'll feed us kimchi tonight but i'd still like to eat with you," Dae-ho suggested. "You could tell me more about your other favorite foods or the TV shows you wanted to watch before dying?"

You were still a little hesitant at first, but ended up nodding, a slowly growing smile on your lips. "Okay."

[crowwolf]

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who? - think Kit Deluca from Pretty Woman. It was @vera-king-hrfl who pointed out she shares her name - and Kit Deluca is short and tiny, like my Kit - that was NOT on purpose!

2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?

Ryldinn! He's @vera-king-hrfl's OC. Kitalia followed him around until he invited her home like every other stray cat LOL! She self-inserted and is totally bonded to him - she's the annoying short sister that calls out any and all shit (she's also mixed fey so yeah). Shhh she helped him bury a body when they met...

In game - ummm...uhhhh...hmmm...she likes the mains, not sure of friends. In Demons she's besties with Max the Orc!

3) What song describes your OC? Burn Your Village Kiki Rockwell - Girl's chaos in a bottle with lots of trauma, soooo

4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest? Him & I - she's a ride or die (for both her men...meoowww).

5) Do you ship your OC with a Canon character? If so who? Damays/Raphael. Don't ask, it's a whole thing...

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day? Yoga instructor/DJ/ballet dancer

7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race? She's a mixed breed grab bag or races - so same, Necromancer/shadow sorcerer - bard.

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind? Sing, dance, hanging out with her bestie, telling her husband what to do...you know, short girl shit.

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves? Fuck no - she eats everything and anything, but she doesn't like mind altering chemicals - has to be in control of her mind (trauma) - no booze, no drugs. She's basically got the metabolism of a hummingbird and constantly grazing.

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves? LOL NOPE She's pure chaos - she holds in her insecurities - thinks everyone actually hates her and will leave, but hides behind sarcasm and comedy. If she ever lost her found family it would kill her.

11) What was your inspiration for your OC? Partly me - though I'm not tiny (well, I am short), I do tend to be chaotic and sarcastic. But also my original OC Kitalia from BG3. She's been morphed a few times, but yeah. A Harley Quinn/Kit Deluca chaos queen.

12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend? YES! Ryldinn is her ride or die bff/bro forever! She watches out for Ryldinn too - makes sure the guys don't take advantage of her bestie

13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start? She hates Viconia, just because she's a bitch (her and Ryl talk tea about her). Also - anyone who is a rival to her main crew. She takes that shit on like a momma bear. No idea how it started. Maybe Viconia looked at her wrong, who knows.

In game, she hates Loroakan with a passion. She's protective of the tieflings, and seeing Rolan hurt set her off so much she was ready to rip the red wish version of a wizard apart. Oh Rolan and the tiefs are her friends.

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them! Viconia! LOL

15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it? Retire? What's that? She'll never 'retire'. Making it - absolutely. Her found fam will make sure of it.

16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive? Mother Dearest tries to murder her and as soon as she was born left for the feywilds. Papa was murdered when she was very little.

17) If your OC has kids, are they a good parent? Do they ever feel guilty if they have to leave them? She'd be the best momma if she gets over her insecurities. She loves kids - but tends to act like one a lot. You'd have to pry her away from her kids to make her leave - she has attachment issues (see 16).

18) What are their pronouns? What would they like to be called? She/her - Kit or Kitalia. She really doesn't care (that's what she tells people, but she prefers Kitalia).

19) What's their sexuality? What's their love language both giving and receiving? My girl is pan and she loves sex - loves giving and receiving, she's chaos in the bed and in the streets.

20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice? Depends - if there's enough space, bullwhip. Ranged 100% hand crossbows. Close quarters - daggers.

21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy? "Look what you made me do" T Swift.

22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter? FIGHT - my girl will throw down as though she's twice the size she is. She's like a small dog biting at the heels of the mailman.

23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire? YES! If you can get a hold of her. IF you're in her found fam, she's 100% there with something to help keep you warm while she changes the flat.

24) Can they play any instruments? If so, what do they play? Violin, harp, mostly strings. Modern AU - wicked DJ, but also plays string instruments

25) Are they the kind of person who can't resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes? Always!

26) What flower do you associate your OC with? Thistle! Pretty but NO TOUCHY - only touch if you know her/know how

27) What's their spirit tamagotchi? Or an animal you associate them with? hmmmm...hummingbird flits and floats and zooms everywhere OR a komodo dragon - unpredictable and vicious. There's no in between.

28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!) I can't draw but she's be total artsy/drama club chicky

29) Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it? (Make it if you want!) Chai latte, music from random genres, fairy aesthetic, long hair styles

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?) OK! Let's go!

Fuck it, OC brain rot won. Get ready for the Secret Ask List

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?

2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?

3) What song describes your OC?

4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest?

5) Do you ship your OC with a Canon character? If so who?

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?

13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!

15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?

16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive?

17) If your OC has kids, are they a good parent? Do they ever feel guilty if they have to leave them?

18) What are their pronouns? What would they like to be called?

19) What's their sexuality? What's their love language both giving and receiving?

20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice?

21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy?

22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter?

23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire?

24) Can they play any instruments? If so, what do they play?

25) Are they the kind of person who can't resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes?

26) What flower do you associate your OC with?

27) What's their spirit tamagotchi? Or an animal you associate them with?

28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!)

29) Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it? (Make it if you want!)

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

[pedge-page]

Do you think you'd be able to write me a little something? You don't have to at all, but I'm on my 3rd night in hospital recovering from what

Should

Have been a routine surgery but it went south and they had to splice me open from pelvis to just above my belly button.

What would Joel be like with a partner recovering from surgery? And even more having to help reader pee? Both of them getting turned on but can't do anything? (My night nurse is a really hot older guy that gives joel vibes so I'm STRUGGLING)

Notes: anon I am so sorry that happened to you! Even more sorry that this took so long, but I do hope you are recovering and doing better! 

Proper Medical Attention

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings: piss kink, fingering, brief piss taste, reader had hip surgery, dry humping ish

 18+ ONLY

 - - - -

“Give me that god damn jello cup,” you command, extending your arm and making grabby-grabby hand gestures.

Joel rolls his eyes. His arms are folded across his chest, slumped in the uncomfortably plastic seat and metal frame of the guest chair under the window. “Ya ain’t supposed to have jello. Drink water.”

Dropping your arms, you frown. “I’m sorry, isn’t jello a fluid?”

“No, ‘course not. It’s—it kind of—more like—“

He fails his words trying to explain.

You snap your fingers anyway and point incessantly to the tray across the room with the jello cups.

He grumbles but follows your demand, handing you one.

“Can you open it pleaassee?” You pout.

“Thought it was just your legs that ain’t workin’.” He tears it open with ease then hands it to you. 

“You try getting double hip surgery.” You rub your hands together excitedly.

He looks around the tray. “No spoon…Do ya want me to feed it to—“

You tilt your head back and suck the squirmy blob out of the tube like a shot glass, tongue working it out perfectly until your mouth is just full of jello. You sucked it down like it was the best jello of your life.

“—Nevermind.”

“Thought you were supposed to have lots of fluids after surgery.” You slurp another one down before chucking it all Joel’s head, hoping he’ll take the hint to throw them away to you.

“You are. Jello ain’t a fluid.”

“Doc said it is.”

“Not all doc’s are smart,” He sasses you, throwing away the cups in his lap as well as the ones crunched in yours. “The nurse said ya ain’t supposed to have a lot right now since ya ain’t ready to use the bathroom yet. That’s why, dummy.”

“Psh. I don’t have to pee. That’s—“ you pause, suddenly realizing the your body hadn’t thought about the last time she had gone to the restroom. Now full of jello cups that, your body now decided is a liquid state, the urge to go is upon you.

“Oh. Oh Joel.”

“What.”

“Why—why would you do this to me.”

“I ain’t done—what are you—“ but he sees your knee curve inward under the white sheet, and your free hand go down between your thighs. “—oh no.”

You only nod embarrassingly. Sighing, you reply, “I’ll just call the nurse guy—“

“Hell no.”

“What?”

“It’s a guy!”

“… so?”

“So… I ain’t letting a guy help you piss.”

“I can’t go by myself!”

Joel crunches his fists. “Alright, I’ll help you.”

The nurse (the hot sexy one Joel doesn’t trust) helps you out of the bed, offering you a walker. He gets you all the way to the private suite door.

“I got it from here,” Joel budges in, stepping between the nurse and you.

“Are—are you sure? It’s really no trouble. I just want to make sure she’s—“

“Yeah I got it. Just help her down the seat an make sure she stays upright, yeah?”

He nods, and Joel gives him a curt smile before shutting the door, locking the two of you in.

Joel and your eyes fall upon the toilet seat.

“I can’t do this,” you whine, suddenly regretting being potty trained for the first time in your life.

 “We’re doin’ this. Otherwise mister pretty boy is gonna do it and I ain’t letting’ that happen.”

You walker-waddle yourself over to the toilet before backing up and positioning your rear to the seat.

“I gotcha,” Joel says, a comforting hand on your back to help you ease down into a squat. 

You were still a little numbed up from the surgery, so it was more uncomfortable than it was painful. You didn’t want to look at the sutures binding your sides together, instead concentrating on the sink ahead. You gripped the side handles for dear life. 

Finally, your bare ass touches down on the seat. 

“And we have landed,” he chuckles. He makes sure your papery gown is clear out of the slpash zone. 

“Your ass is still cute by the way.” He winks. 

You roll your eyes. Of course he was looking at your baby butt full on display in this stupid thing. “Think the nurse agrees?” You tease.

His good-natured humor quickly disappears in favor of a scowling jaw-grind. He folds his arms across his chest, looking between your legs.

It’s a little too silent right now.

“Supposed to go.”

“I can’t do it when you’re looking at me like that!”

“Like what? I’ve seen your hooha before, babygirl. Doc was more intimately inside you this mornin’ more than I ever been.”

“It’s not… that I just…you… you don’t see me pee!”

It’s one thing to be walking around the house naked for Joel, Joel eating your pussy every morning like his coffee and biscuit, and Joel playing with your folds on a lazy Wednesday evening.

But the man has never seen you go to the bathroom before! “It’s…it’s just different.”

“C’mon. Just—go!”

“Turn around!”

He tosses his hands up. “Fine!” Now facing the wall, he grumbles, “Happy?”

But you’re not. just his presence here is shaking you up. God, you had to go so bad a minute ago. Why can’t you just do it now?”

“Still awfully quiet back there…” he chides annoyingly.

“Give it a minute!” I’m gonna fucking strangle him the moment I can walk on my own.

You squeeze your eyes shut, pretending you’re at home, in your private little bedroom bathroom, with your comfy bathrug beneath your feet, and it smells like vanilla and lavender. 

You let out a breath, and begin to go.

Breathing steadily, eyes still closed, you don’t notice Joel’s ears twitch. Nor the way he shifts his weight from the left to the right, nor how his eyes keep wanting to glance behind him.

I mean, you’re going now, right? He can just… take a peak. Its not like… he ain’t seen fluids come from there before…

He turns his shoulder just slightly, head tilted to see you. the hissing sound between your legs immediately draws his attention down, and he lips part slightly to let out a silent sigh. 

You moan a little, feeling much better now that you were emptying a very tight bladder. Opening your eyes, you don’t expect to be met with Joel’s staring back at you.

“Hey! I said—“

But he’s not even listening: his pupils are blown wide, staring at the stream exiting your cunt and splashing below, his mouth agape as he licks his lower lip every few seconds. His biceps are strained hard against that slutty plain shirt, and you definitely don’t miss the way his pants look tighter around his crotch.

No. Fucking. Way.

Joel Miller has a piss kink.

It hurts to do so, but you spread just a little wider, now exposing your twitchy clit to his hungry eyes.

That gets his attention. He entirely shifts his body forward facing you again. 

“Damn. I really had to go,” you giggle, humming contently. “Joel?”

He swallows in response. 

Your eyes trail downward as he adjusts himself in his jeans. He gives extra care to palm his tent a little bit, though it’s not even subtle anymore with the way he’s still cupping and brushing his hard-on.

Your trickle lightens before stopping entirely.

It’s silent again.

“Um…could you…get me…paper...” You feel a little flustered just asking. 

It’s the way he’s looking at you. That’s all. That heat between your thighs? Just the warm piss dripping. that’s all. There’s nothing else wet happening down there. Yeah. That’s probably it.

He doesn’t go for the toilet paper roll. Instead, Joel gets on one knee, right between yours, and reaches his hand between your thighs.

“Joel!”

He cups your mound, growling when his palm and digits come in contact with your hot, wet center. “Baby…”

‘Its just—just—pee—“

“It ain’t just pee,” he snickers, his eyes low.

His finger flicks your nub a little, taking his time to drag then through your slick folds.

He can feel the distinct throb in your core. Everything about his touch is even more heightened than it normally is. And he touches you down there a lot. But for the both of you right now, it’s like it’s new territory all over again. Your fingernails bite the side grips just as hard as your teeth sink into your tongue. 

He can tell you’re holding in your moans. “Stubborn little thing, ain’t ya?”

“Don’t t-talk,” you squeak. 

He shrugs. “Looks like I ain’t the only one who enjoyed that show.” He grips his hardened jean-clad cock with his other hand, grinding his palm into it as he plays with your wetness.

“I—“

“Do you want to give me another round?” He sneers. He delves his fingers further, finally parting your petals. “What am I gonna do with ya? Can’t even piss without my help—“

On cue, you let out a little extra squirt you didn’t realize you’d been holding in. He groans, feeling the heat of your urine soak his palm completely as he cups you fully.

 Grinding the heel of his hand into your clit, you start to feel lightheaded.

Before you can speak, he dips his middle and forefinger into his mouth, humming at the tangy, salty, slimy taste of your arousal and liquid gold coating him.

You gape at him.

Smacking his lips a final time, he leans close, and the scent of your fluids just barely coats his lips. "Want a taste?" he holds his hand out to your face, still slick with his saliva.

Every bell in your brain says to be a good girl and suck them clean.

So you do: your tongue slithers between the cracks, sucking the pads in until he's clean.

He takes his cue, knowing he’ll be in trouble if you pass out on his watch.

“Time to clean up, babygirl.”

He wipes the towels between your pussy-lips generously, soft and careful.

“I could—have—done that—myself—“ you stammer. Your body is still alive with jitters, but your brain is struggling to process what’s happened

Joel washes his hands thoroughly before helping you back up and to the sink yourself. He stands behind you so you don’t lose balance.

You prop your elbows along the vanity, careful to avoid his gaze staring back at you In the mirror. 

The water rushes against your knuckles as you generously lather the soap through the cracks and under your fingernails.

You feel his lips brush against the back of your head. And even more prominent, the bulge that nudges your ass cheeks perfectly.

“How long?” He whispers, giving a peck to your ear shell.

“4.”

“I hoped you say days…but it’s weeks, aint it.”

You turn around, wiping your hands dry with the towel. he tears your down, holding you close so you can lean on him for leverage. 

His lust filled eyes look ready to tear you apart all over again.

“Months.”

He looks ready to have a heart attack.

“WHAT!”

“Doc said 4 weeks on the walker. 4 months to be cleared for rigorous sexual activity.” You toss the paper towel, grab your walker, and saunter out of there with as much sexy confidence as girl on a walker with her bare ass swaying on display can muster.

He follows behind you. “You think I’m losing here?’

Pulling the sheets, you backward scoot until your thighs are at the edge of the bed. He helps hoist your ankles slowly in the air until you can lay back comfortable.

“Just remember. When I take you home…you can’t get up and do anything without my assistance. Right?” Joel nods to the nurse, who came back to check on you.

“S’right! You’ll need careful monitoring for any movement during your recovery. I’ll be back in a few minutes with your meds.” He leaves the room.

You gulp, unwilling to see the devilish look in Joel’s eyes.

He holds one of your empty jello cups. “Wonder if they’ll ask me to help ya piss in a cup if ya get some kind of infection…” he ponders.

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist @94namkooksworld

[martwy-basen]

people on twitter cling to that "sniper's dad fucking SUCKS he taught him toxic masculinity and he is a BAD FATHER" narration for canon sniper so hard and i just. NEED to know why /gen

[haedalkoo]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well!

There’s one jkk moment that I keep thinking about because, I feel like we’ve never really gotten a solid translation on it:

https://www.tumblr.com/jimins-bootae/185841231762

It’s the infamous flop palm pushing game where seokjin interrupts them to ask ‘are you two together/a couple?’

I just wanted to clarify what the exact thing that seokjin said to them was. Did he explicitly ask ‘are you two a couple?’ which is pretty straightforward or, does he say ‘are you two together?’

I’m not sure if ‘being together’ has the same romantic connotations in Korean as it does in English. I interpreted it as him asking ‘are you guys together (on the same team)?, almost as if he was commenting ‘you’re not on the same team so, why are you acting all buddy-buddy?’

But, if the comment did mean that and it really wasn’t that deep, why did they have that crazy, bashful reaction🙃?

Ofc ‘are you a couple?’ Is pretty criminalising. It seems out of the blue to point that out if there wasn’t some sort of innuendo behind it.

Thank you for the work that you do for us in the tumblr community!

Hello!! I love this question because this is hands-down one of my favorite jikook clips of all time.

I understand your question, but the reason why you feel like there's no 'solid translation' is because, well, there's no need for further explanation. Seokjin said, word by word, 'are you two dating?'

Let's break the sentence down: 둘이 사귀세요?

둘 (/dul/): you two (+ particle 이, which indicates the subject)

사귀세요: the purple part is the verb 사귀다. The green part indicates that Seokjin was asking the question in a very formal tone.

(Interrupting to say I didn't even have to look up Seokjin's exact words because this sentence is engraved into my BRAIN)

You can use 사귀다 in two situations:

when talking about meeting new friends, as in becoming friends with someone. 새로운 친구를 사귀다 -> meet new friends.

When talking about dating and romantic relationships. Let's take a look at a couple of example phrases from my fav dictionary (es-kor):

a) 그 두 사람이 사귀기 시작한지 벌써 삼 년이 지났다. It's already been three years since those two started dating.

b) 가: 너 소개팅 안 할래? / 나: 나 지금 사귀는 사람 있어. A: aren't you going to try blind dating? B: I'm already seeing someone.

I think it's pretty obvious what Seokjin meant with that question. Jikook were acting like blushing high-schoolers, giggling as they stared into each other's eyes. I think a lot of us- including jinnie- saw that behavior and went 'wtf' LMAOO

That's why Jikook got so shy after his question!! Because he was clocking them for acting like a couple in their honeymoon phase. He was asking the million-dollar question tbh because well.

They

Act

Like

THIS

Thanks for the question sweet anon!! Hope it helped 💖

[lurkiestvoid]

A tag mentioned 'where the reddit stockbros at' and ... well anyways, for those asking how to help without directly trading:

- Loudly and frequently remind everyone how he didn't found Tesla, he bought the right to call himself the founder, and then ruined a great thing.

- Loudly and frequently discuss how absolutely shit quality Teslas are, using as many specific examples as possible. One of my faves was an old TT where an auto assembly worker went over as many details of a Tesla as they could, pointing out aaaaall the shoddy craftsmanship and cut corners, badly installed gaskets, etc.

- Loudly and frequently discuss Tesla deaths. Especially things like how Mitch McConnell's wife lowered vehicle safety standards and then her sister got drunk and reversed her deathtrap into a pond.

- Bonus points if you can put these comments in relevant places, like say, Yahoo Finance, relevant tags on ANY social media, and under finance/market news and blogs.

- Same goes for SpaceX and Starlink, anything and everything negative you can say about them especially backed up by facts, statistics, or other reports

- Consumer/market sentiment is closely monitored by the industry, regardless of how they spin it in media. No one on the internet actually knows whether or not you own any of these products.

- If you're feeling really edgy, go to whatever subreddits/Yahoo comments section/wherever relevant and pretend to be a Tesla/etc shareholder who gave up and sold. Don't tell others to sell, that shit usually gets shut down pretty quick, but just be 'disgruntled' and 'disappointed' or even scared. "idk guys I'm really worried, this isn't getting better, I just really think it's over, I'm selling"

- If you or anyone you know has any kind of 401(k) or other externally-managed retirement portfolio, mention to them you really hope they don't have any Tesla/etc in there, maybe they should double check/call their broker/whatever

- pressure your banks/universities/etc to divest any Elon-related tickers, stressing things like "volatility," "market sentiment," "bad optics," and "risk"

- never go the Gleeful Troll route, it just gets ignored. If you want to convince people, play the Concerned Consumer/Shareholder angle

- Report Elon Musk's market manipulation to the SEC. They won't really do anything, maybe a slap on the wrist at most, a paltry fine of 0.001% of profits or something, but it's fun and it's free.

The stock market is paper-fucking-thin and fearful sentiment is contagious. It can absolutely be used to an advantage.

IF YOU HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THE MARKET BEFORE, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO START NOW. DO NOT GAMBLE ON TESLA PUTS NO MATTER HOW SURE YOU ARE THAT IT WILL CONTINUE TO GO DOWN NOR HOW MUCH ANY STOCKBROS TELL YOU IT'S SAFE. ANY DEATH-THROES OR SPIKES COULD CAUSE EXPONENTIAL DEBT.

Anyways, a small note: margin calls are not nearly as cut-and-dried as implied. Organizations with millions or billions of worth and assets can easily juggle things to rebalance their risk, a margin call does not automatically force liquidation unless that risk cannot be balanced.

Here is your mission.

[le0n-ardo]

He catches you staring at him - TMNT Headcanons

Rise TMNT x female reader, slightly suggestive, established relationship. Turtles are aged up to mid twenties or so.

Leonardo is smug, smug, smuggity smug, smug incarnate, smug in turtle form, smug turtle ninja mutant.

You thought you'd already seen a lot of that shit-eating grin before this? Oh, think again. You're not living that one down with him.

His own attractiveness is one of the few things Leo's never doubted before. For all his insecurities, this man knows he's pretty. Catching you staring at him just strokes his ego.

His sense of humor quickly leaps into protagonism, and he immediately starts flexing and posing.

"Like what you see, huh?" He does have nice arms

As if he couldn't get you flustered enough with that sole comment, Leonardo walks up to you and takes you in his arms, spinning you around a bit.

"I'm liking what I see too," he purrs. "We look damn good together, don't we?"

That little encounter is followed by a very long, very breathless make-out. Your arms around his neck, his hands on your hamstrings, and at one point, he even lifts you off the ground and you wrap your legs around his waist.

For the next few days, the smugness doesn't fade. Leonardo will try to pose or flaunt to get your attention, and he'll wiggle his brow muscles. You already know what he's aiming at without him having to say it.

"For someone who likes looking at me, you're doing very little to show it," he says with that stupid grin that you love. In response, you'll throw something light at him - a stuffed animal or a scrunched up paper.

When you do give him the follow-up he wants, you exploit his praise kink and constantly remind him how handsome he is, whispering it really softly in his ear. Oh, he loves that.

"What? What is it? Everything okay?"

Donatello thinks of a number a reasons why you might be looking his way before thinking it's because you find him attractive, even after having dated for a while now.

"Please tell me my eyebrows look fine."

You can't help but giggle softly. You know that's what he's like, and it's one of the many reasons you adore Donnie. It just means you have to admit what you feel out loud more often.

You decide to get creative and tell him you got lost in his magnificent aura.

Immediately, Donnie adopts his signature smirk, with an elegant "Ah, of course," as he uses the controls on his wrist to dim the lights of his room and begin playing some mellow music.

"This lighting is better. You may admire me more efficiently now."

Donnie notices how flustered you are after indulging you for a bit with a couple poses and smirks, though he's not sure if you're flustered over him or being caught.

Either way, Donnie takes a seat next to you on his bed and wraps an arm around you before beckoning Shelldon.

"Leave us, and lock the doors when you leave."

Raphael is 100% the one getting flustered.

He is really flattered that you'd use your precious time and your pretty eyes to look at him.

Afterwards, he smile at you with extra affection, with his eyes shimmering at you and his little tooth poking through that adorable smile, as if he were trying to thank you for loving him and being with him.

He's the biggest cinnamon roll. No smugness, no arrogance.

Being the gentle giant that he is, Raph uses physical affection to show how he feels about catching you staring at him.

Side hugs and hand holding are abundant in the aftermath of said event.

The memory of him looking your way and you already looking at him has him dazed for days.

He's so dazed that he doesn't even pay attention to Leo's nagging or Donnie's Donatelloness.

When you're both alone, Raph will hug you from behind and pull you in really close, nuzzling your neck and taking in your scent.

"Hey, uh... you busy?"

When you look at him, you don't even need to talk to answer his question. All you have to do is give him that little smirk, and he already knows he's in for a great time.

Michelangelo initially pretends to have a staring contest with you when he catches you staring at him. He obviously wins, because your getting caught by him makes you look away.

"I win, baby!" He celebrates.

On the inside, Mikey is up in the clouds with joy at the fact that you like him enough to look at him that way.

He walks up to you and gives you a tight hug, not wanting to brush away the subject.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed, baby! I like it when you look at me!"

Mikey lets you know that you have his permission to stare at him whenever you want.

You hug him back equally tight and Mikey begins swaying you gently in the embrace.

Eventually, you two are dancing.

In truth, your staring at him makes Mikey proud of himself. It's like a rite of passage for him, to have the love of a great woman like you makes him feel more grown up and more confident in his worth.

If you're okay with it, he'll brag to his brothers about it.

As a thank you, Mikey prepares a special dinner for you. It's pizza with extra mozzarella and mascarpone-filled crusts that he made himself.

The whole night is the most romantic date you could possibly imagine, ending with a romantic getaway in each other's arms under the stars.

[ghostybat]

I live for Damian and Lois similarities that I wrote a whole thing about it LOL

────────────────

Clark watched. He simply watched as his son was getting yelled at by the tiny creature known as Damian Wayne.

The boys were what? Both in their 20s now? He thought, and it never ceased to amaze him just how long Jon and Damian had been in each other's lives. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't think they would have lasted this long at first. He remembered them absolutely hating each other when they first met. How Damian had basically kidnapped his own son and how Jon would go on complaining about Damian being arrogant and bossy, only for that to turn into Jon talking about how Damian was probably the strongest, most loyal, and caring person he knew, and Damian basically declaring how he'd protect Jon with his own life. It surprised him to say the least, but it was very much welcomed.

At some point, those admirations turned into affection. Clark remembered very vividly the day when a 14-year-old Jon bashfully admitted that he thought Damian was pretty; Clark nearly choked on his coffee, and Lois just smiled.

"Since... Since when was Damian pretty???" Clark was very confused, because sure, Jon would go on about how he admired Damian from time to time, but pretty!? Where was this going?

"Look, objectively speaking, Damian is a very pretty child. Look at his parents, his mom."

Lois said that last part with emphasis in her tone.

"I think it's pretty normal for Jon to start finding some of his friends attractive at this age. He's 14, and it's not Damian's fault that he takes mostly after his mom."

And it really wasn't, and perhaps Lois was right. Jon was 14, and so was Damian; it didn't have to mean anything other than an observation.

Clark relaxed a bit. Just because his son had said one little thing about his best friend's appearance didn't mean he was developing a crush on Damian Wayne...

Bruce Wayne's son...

Talia Al Ghul's son...

A bat...

"Oh my god..."

Clark was only relaxed for a good three minutes before he started spiraling again.

And Clark was right to spiral because, come two years later, at the ripe age of 16, Lois had the unfortunate luck of walking in on Jon defiling Bruce Wayne's youngest son on their family couch.

Jon froze, his eyes making contact with Lois's own, the sternness in her gaze basically reading 'Really? You should know better.' And he really should have. Jon should have heard her from miles away, should have heard his mom the second her car pulled into their apartment complex, but no, he was a bit distracted with his hands traveling up Damian's shirt and being straddled by the smaller teen as they made out.

And now here he was, staring at his mom with her arms crossed in the middle of their living room, with Damian still on top of him.

He should really move him.

"Mom... You're home early..."

"I texted you that I was coming home early."

"... Maybe call next time?" Jon said with an awkward smile, hoping that he could maybe charm his way out of this one.

"Oh, you are bold for thinking there is going to be a next time."

And with that, both boys were subjected to sitting at least five feet apart from each other, supervised until it was time for Damian to go home.

From that day on, Jon was not allowed to have Damian in his room with the door closed anymore.

And so here was Clark, staring at his 20-something-year-old son being yelled at by his significant other of at least eight years.

"I told you you didn't have to come for me! It was dangerous!! I'm not worth you getting hurt when I'm basically indestructible! How many times do we have to have this argument?!"

Jon was frustrated, if it wasn't obvious enough. Something about their mission going off track, and of course, Damian was willing to risk his life just to make sure that Jon was okay. Though Clark didn't understand why Jon was frustrated, because he was pretty sure, without a doubt, that Jon would do the exact same thing if it was Damian.

"We will have this argument as many times as it takes for you to understand that I don't care. I don't care that you're indestructible. I don't care that you can fly and have super strength and can shoot lasers from your eyes. I. Do. Not. Care. Because you, Jonathan Kent, are worth everything to me, and for you to say that you're not is the most idiotic thing you can say to me. And trust me, you've said a lot of idiotic things to me."

Clark thought that for someone so short, Damian sure had a lot to yell about. All valid, though; Damian was definitely keeping his word when it came to protecting Jon no matter what. In fact, Clark was pretty sure if this had been him and Lois, she'd yell at him all the same.

And then that's when it hit him.

Clark watched his son make his way towards him, still frustrated. Damian had already walked away after saying what he needed to say.

"Tell me, please, am I in the wrong here? Like I get where he's coming from, but does he understand that I don't think I can live with myself knowing that he'd get hurt because of me..." Jon looked at his dad with genuine concern and worry.

"You know... Damian reminds me a lot of your mom."

Jon's expression quickly went from worry to confusion.

"What?"

"Pretty sure your mom would have yelled at me the exact same way. I think she would have yelled at you the exact same way too."

"I'm so confused..."

"I'm saying that right there was your mom."

Jon watched as his dad said that last part with a bright smile on his face.

And then it hit Jon.

It had always been there, and Jon knew; he'd always known that Damian reminded him of someone. The way that they both were so independent and strong-willed, determined and persistent, intellectually curious, instinctual, and intuitive. Both so passionate about making the world a better place. And their unconditional love for him. Damian was so much like his mom, and Jon couldn't believe he didn't recognize it sooner.

"Looks like you and I have the same type."

Clark chuckled, putting an arm around his son.

"Dad, please, I really don't want to hear this right now."

"Like father, like son!"

"Daaad..."

Jon groaned into his hands.