#i think there r like 90 something chapters in part 1 so u can do it!!! i believe in u bae

[riaki]

im so blissfully unaware omg😭😭 on a side note, ur rules looked very pretty n all aesthetic !! (made me remember i DID NOT put my copyright or any of that on my navi im sobbing😭😭)

also question for u riko! do you recommend reading csm first or watching the anime then catching up w the manga?

ITS OKAY i only put the copyright thingy there cus it didnt look good w a divider at the end... ur layout is literally so pretty im too lazy to do allat whoops ;;

me personally what i did was read the manga first and then watch the anime; what happened w jjk is that i watched it first and then read the manga so i obviously already knew wht happened first few chapters which meant i skipped them since im impatient which is. not good lol ANYWAY i recommend you read csm first because the anime also skips a minor detail at the beginning which i personally think adds to it! also csm is a nice easy read cus the artstyle is really good.. and its like an extra treat to see everyone animated afterward

[watermelonlipstick]

Dreams, Chapter 11

If you haven’t read this series before, you might want to start on Chapter 1, or check out the Dreams Masterlist! Here’s the series description:

When Dean dies for good leaving Sam and his girlfriend (the reader) behind, they must figure out how to carry on without him. Alone, reeling, and unsure what to do next, trying to honor Dean’s memory and follow their hearts gets even more complicated when their nightmares become dreams that feel a little too real.

Title: Dreams, Chapter 11

Pairing: (past) Dean Winchester x Reader, (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2616

Summary: Another dream makes things more clear for the reader and less clear for Sam.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, s l o w  b u r n

           The booths are those plastic-coated pressboard swoops that are so easy to clean, one row down either side of the long room once you walk past the counter to order. Like other pizza places, there are red pepper flakes and grated parmesan on the table, but they also keep ranch dressing in a minifridge behind the counter as a concession to Midwestern sensibilities. You know you’re just outside Dayton just like you know the pizza shop is run by a family, father and two older teenage daughters deftly throwing dough and scattering cheese evenly over it in a way that shows their years of practice. Dean sits across the table with his elbows on it, one forefinger and thumb picking through a plate of nachos between you. His black t-shirt, amulet, and lack of flannel make you notice the hum of the air conditioner in the background, straining over the 90’s alternative radio and reminding you that you’d been here in a heat stroke the summer after you and Dean had gotten together, his golden freckles and lightened tips of his slightly messy hair underlining the memory.

           “They don’t serve nachos here.” It’s half statement and half question.

           “Babe, it’s your dream. They’ll serve whatever you want. Does the pizza suck in Wisconsin or something?”

           The two sisters are whispering to each other as they look over at your table, an almost-argument that ends with who you suspect is the older sister poofing a pinch of flour into the other’s face. They’re both cute girls but she’s adorable, soft cherubic cheeks and messy bun piling impossibly glossy hair on her head as she walks over to the table with a gigantic pizza. “Can I get you anything else?” she asks in a perfect welcoming cheerleader pitch.

           “I think we’re good for now, sweetheart,” Dean purrs with a wink. That you remember; you’d playfully chastised Dean for dazzling the teens, laughing in his face when he’d said it wasn’t on purpose, that he couldn’t help it if chicks dug him. The wink had proved your point then and now it makes the girl’s cheeks flush red.

           She catches herself remarkably well, the stammer almost slipping under the radar as she assures you that you can “holler if you need anything!”

           Dean brushes his fingers free of nacho debris and loosens a piece of pizza from the melting cheese of the ones next to it. “Last time you had all kinds of sweet nothings and questions for me and now you’re Silent Cal?”

           “I don’t think this is real, but I’m pretty sure if I push it you’ll either die in this dream or I’ll wake up, so my plan is to stay here as long as we can.”

           He drops the pizza back into the box and wipes off his fingers on a napkin before slouching into the booth, arm stretched across its length. “So test me then. Gimme a question only I would know or something.”

           “Well if I ask you something that I know the answer to, my brain will just project you knowing it. See the problem?”

           Dean squints and pouts in consideration, touch of a smile dancing across his face and if it isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen may you be struck dead right now. “Then ask me something you don’t know the answer to.”

           You think about explaining how that too could just be some part of your subconscious recreation of Dean but you don’t want to keep pulling at loose strings in the event that it wakes you up. It’s too hard to keep from smiling, seeing Dean charming and relaxed like this, and when you grin it makes Dean bite his lip. “What’s something I don’t know the answer to?”

           “Ah, ah—I thought I’m just a hologram, how would I know?”

           “Projection, but okay,” you stall. “Wait, here’s one. Sam said when I first started going on jobs with you guys that you had to have a conversation about staying focused. What was that all about?”

           He runs his tongue along the inside of his lower lip. “Man, why would he tell you that?” he says under his breath, smirking mostly to himself before leaning forward to meet your eyes. “Fine. I’m not even sure that you’re going to remember this. There was a vengeful spirit in Indiana, some like homesteader guy, ring a bell?”

           You have only the vaguest sense of recollection and sort of waggle your head to show it.

           “It was way at the beginning of when you started coming on jobs with us. You and Bobby got into it because he wanted you to bring your own car so you could ditch us if we were ‘acting like cretins’ or some shit like that?”

           That fits the last puzzle piece in for you and makes you chuckle. “He ended up giving me like $250 of mad money in case I needed a new room or a bus ticket, yeah. I remember.”

           “I didn’t know that part but that’s gotta be the same trip. The whole thing was really stupid. Basically we were supposed to have your six but both me and Sammy wanted to carry a shotgun instead of doing that protection spell because it looked cooler. We were arguing about it when the spirit whipped a chunk of the barn’s scaffolding at you and we didn’t catch it in time. You heard it coming and ducked so nothing ended up happening, but it fucking demolished the wall behind you. It was a huge fuckup—thing could’ve taken your head clean off, you know? Sam was so broken up about it he was wasted for like a week solid after we dropped you back off at Bobby’s.”

           “Really? That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

           “I know, usually he does some kind of pouty baby bullshit. But I mean both of us felt really guilty that bitching at each other could’ve taken you out.”

           Dean’s eyes rake over your face, seeming to linger over every inch like he’s going to draw a topographical map of it later by memory. You can tell he’s waiting for you to say something but you can’t think of anything other than tracing each of his freckles where they dust across his nose.

           A hand reaches over the table to run his fingertips along the back of yours, and that certainly feels real enough to send an ache into your gut. “What if you ask Sam? If he says that’s not what happened then you can keep saying I’m not real and you don’t have to listen to me.”

           “But he already basically told me that. The only thing I probably wouldn’t have guessed about that is Sam getting drunk about it—these could’ve been just well-informed guesses about when it probably was or the kinds of things it seemed like he was implying.”

           His lips press into a firm line and the barest touch of pink rises in his cheeks. “We, um, we pinky swore on it.”

           The adorableness of his embarrassment makes you grin teasingly as much as the divulgence does. “A pinky promise? You guys must’ve been pretty serious to take such a sacred oath.”

           He rolls his eyes at your ribbing and throws his hands back in his lap with a defeated smirk. “Laugh it up. Would that be good enough proof for you?”

           It seems like Dean has figured out a loophole in the system, but you’re sure the light of day and Sam’s scrutiny will figure out why it isn’t actual evidence of communication with Dean beyond death, and you tell him that.

           A curtain of suspicious confusion falls over Dean’s face. “Sam being weird about it is what’s keeping you from trusting this? Kid, I’ve been talking to Sa—”

           And you woke up.

           The bed was empty next to you but you could smell something sweet in the air and hear the light clinking of pots or pans Sam was trying his best to keep quiet. You blinked back a few tears of frustration—who even cared if it was real or not? Reliving a great memory with Dean was more than enough and instead of enjoying it you’d wasted a chance at some small respite from your constant ache of grief. And even then, you hadn’t used any of your time to figure out how the whole thing worked, how you could see him again.

           But the most pressing issue was what you thought Dean had been trying to say before disappearing; that he had gotten through to Sam. Sam, of course, deserved to have secrets, but if he had been sitting on the resolution to all the angst you’d been struggling through in the last weeks (months?), you couldn’t imagine a reason why that wouldn’t hurt. Nothing would be solved by laying in your bed to sulk about it, though, so you threw on some clothes and went to brush your teeth.

           When you came out, Sam was hunched slightly, the standard stove highlighting his decidedly non-standard height as he shuffled a pan’s handle. He had a dishtowel over his t-shirt clad shoulder, a habit from the bar that sometimes held over when he was in the kitchen at home, and bare feet under old jeans. They were wearing through at the knees, and you knew they were absolutely pajama-soft from having periodically thrown them in with your own laundry. Through the kitchen window, enough snow-brightened sunlight came into the room to cast him in a halo glow that gleamed off of his hair. As long as it had gotten, chunks still swept into his face as he looked down at the stove, and he tucked one behind his ear as he looked up, half-singing a Buddy Guy song that was playing softly. It was stunning—he was stunning, statuesque and strong and right there in front of you. Cooking you breakfast while you slept in, of all things, chocolate chip pancakes he had to have remembered were your favorite from ages ago. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d had them and right now, nothing in the world sounded better. He beamed and tilted the pan toward you. “Morning! I made pancakes, you want some?”

           And you should’ve just let the moment rest, sat in the rare bright winter morning and eaten chocolate chip pancakes and relished how well the boiler was working, maybe later in the day read a predictable murder mystery or taped off the living room to be painted and listened to REM until your shoulders were sore from running rollers up the walls all afternoon. Instead, about as stupid and weird a flop as if a toad had come out of your mouth, you said, “Have you been talking to Dean too?”

           Sam’s face fell but not in the right way. There was too much angle in his brow and that confirmed it. “What?” he asked, but it didn’t land.

           “How long have you been talking to Dean?”

           He kept that curious smile for a second, like maybe he could push through by playing dumb and you would forget, but finally his lips flattened and his jaw clenched as he stacked a finished pancake on top of its predecessors. “Just because I’m having dreams about him doesn’t mean it’s really him,” he finally answered, softly and as though he was telling the bubbling pancake batter in front of him, unable to meet your eyes.

           You felt the lump forming in your throat and tried to get the words out ahead of its solidifying. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

           “For what?” He let go of the pan and turned toward you, supporting his weight on the countertop. “So we can both—”

           “Both what? Be delusional? Is that what you were going to say?”

           Sam didn’t answer, but the set of his jaw was firm and he kept his eyes locked on yours.

           “He told me you were drunk for a week after the hunt you were talking about.” You watched as Sam’s pupils widened a touch. “And that you didn’t just promise each other to buckle down, you pinky swore.” Sam’s Adam’s apple jumped in his throat. “It’s true, isn’t it? I can see in your face that it is. Did you already know it’s really him?”

           He looked down at the floor and clenched his jaw. “I was pretty sure. Or at least I really hoped I was pretty sure.”

           You felt more than consciously allowed your mouth’s falling open. “How? How long?”

           “It just—I don’t know, it just felt different. I—uh, the first time was after we made those cupcakes; he asked about the cupcakes.”

           You slumped against the countertop opposite him, speechless. He shoved the pan off the hot burner a little too hard, put a palm on either side of the stove to brace himself. The two of you stood like that for a long minute, the smell of chocolate not matching the stiff heaviness in the air at all.

           “I don’t—what if it’s not real?” His throat sounded bound even though you couldn’t see his face, hulking mass of him spread across the tiny kitchen.

           He seemed so defeated, so young, and then you couldn’t believe how selfish you’d been, not putting two and two together that something challenging Sam’s grip on or understanding of reality must shove him back to the brain melting torture he’d endured in the cage and the months—years, maybe, he was always so tight-lipped about it—afterward. What the fuck were you thinking, not seeing it before, how this could seem like a perfectly laid trap for Sam, the most poetic way to whip his mind into stiff peaks of meringue. It made so much sense why he would need time to really suss it out, see the situation from all angles and investigate, check and re-check. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes but you blinked them away. This was not about you or your complicated need for him, it was about Sam, what he’d been through, what he was likely putting himself through even now.

           “The, um, the pancakes smell really good.”

           “Yeah?” There was half a laugh behind his words, humorless as it was. “I hope they’re okay, I know they’re your, uh, your favorite.”

           “I’m surprised you remembered.”

           Sam leaned on one arm to rub his face with his other hand. “Yeah, well.”

           “Can I help?”

           After a beat, he stood up and offered some space next to him on the stove. You worked hip to hip, sprinkling the chocolate chips while Sam flipped. He was scraping the last of the batter into a last little runt pancake with a spatula when you couldn’t help yourself and wrapped your arms around his waist. He seemed surprised, if sad, before setting down the bowl and covering as much of you as he could, folding over you like a protective shell. It reminded you of that dirty motel room, months and months ago, when Sam held you together as you cracked in his arms. All he could do then was be steadfast in reminding you he was still there, if nothing else was, and you hoped you were able to give him the same now.

           You silently laid two place settings on the kitchen counter while Sam set the food out. He sat next to you and had picked up his fork when you touched his wrist to still him. “If it’s not real for you then I’m losing it too.”

           Sam thought for a second, then raised his forearm and kissed the back of your hand where you held onto him before cutting into his pancakes.

-

Continue to Dreams, Chapter 12

Thanks again for reading! If you liked it, check out my Masterlist or send me a request!

Tags: @sams-sass​ @vxnderlindes​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @akshi8278​ @itsjensenanddean​ @flannellover67​ @weepingwillowphoenix​ @tj-drinks-tea​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​ @winchestergirl2​ @winchest09​ @samwisethegr8​ @nobxdy​ @nurse-sarahrn​ @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love​ @deanwanddamons​ @stressedoutkitten​ @winchestershiresauce​ @tatted-trina6​ @percico-heronstairs​ @downanddirtydean​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @lyarr24​ @waywardwifey​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @wonder-cole​ @sergeantsea​ @peachyafshawn​ @tjfinnigan​ @that-one-gay-girl​ @calaofnoldor​ @mrspeacem1nusone​ @theveridianmoon​ @underc0vercryptid​ @daringvixon​ fairlyspnfanfic treat-winchesterswithkindness samfreakingwinchester

And as always, if you want to be on my taglist, were on the taglist and changed your handle, or I lost track of it, please let me know!

[rigelmejo]

February Progress Update, March Goals:

(Updated as it’s now the end of the month) How February went:

Chinese novel chapters read in February (so far): 27 (a huge amount! Last month’s was 8. This month - 4 were Guardian, the rest are 寒舍)

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: 2 (Catch me barely doing L-R and just reading Guardian instead...)

Chinese shows watched: 6. (I expected this number to shoot up and I was right! Word of Honor - tian ya ke adaptation - is airing and I am watching the raws first then the English subs as they release. I’m also maybe going to start Anti Fraud League since I finally finished ep 1. YouTube recommended me another Zhen zhehan drama - he plays Zhou Zishu in woh. It’s called Demon Girl and I’d had it in my list to practice anyway with when I got bored since it’s set 1920-1940s, one of my fave drama settings, featuring a demon heroine in which demons are like mutants who live among us. Which happens to be my LITERAL favorite story setup - mutants/monsters/etc sci fi or supernatural setup in which the story uses it to tell fantastical tales while also commenting on real social issues. Some stories do it better than others - In The Flesh and Bureau of Transformer do excellently, Love and Redemption and Guardian do some fascinating stuff with it, Heroes touches on it only a little compared to Xmen which is known for it, and Merlin often failed to commit to a strong message. But regardless - if a story has this Setup I will ultimately wanna see. So that show definirely has 3 selling points now: my Fave story setup, a heroine as the lead, and an actor I like as the other lead. I also found Mystic Nine and LORD Critical World in HD on a chinese site so I’m very tempted to just watch them in chinese only since it’s more convienient then the english sub links I have for the shows. An interesting update: trying to watch a show this month was easier than in the past - last month I could barely watch Any shows, and before that I distinctly remember shows being harder to catch the details. I watched Anti Fraud League ep 1 fully this month and caught all details roughly without pausing - and like 3 sentences of exposition on main character Mi Huo I paused and replayed the scene just to catch all the chinese subtitles and clarify I understood correctly. I think I got about 90% of the details - because I was a little vague on some word meanings and just guessed on those. And grasped 100% of the overall plot. which is well beyond where I was at month 10-11ish last time I tried watching shows. Also yay! A detective show felt as easy as watching a fluff romance which is so great, because I like this genre much more! Although I am going to give a grateful shout out to Granting You A Dreamlike Life because... while the shows first 15 eps I did watch are Not My Thing, I watched it like 8+ months into learning and it was both a challenge and easy enough TO watch and keep watching. Which made it great for improving. I really think it helped a lot. And I also think... at this point I probably could rewatch guardian without eng subs and be fine. When I watch shan he ling today I guess I’ll find out if I can handle a wuxia plot though without eng subs lol)

Japanese Audio listened to: 14 (no change, this is since start of year)

Personal books read: 11 (since 2021 started - so 6 books in February. I have been reading SO MUCH lately, I’m really excited? I’ve been meaning to read so many of my books I just hadn’t gotten around to it. This is also likely to increase as I’m about to finish dmbj 2 next time I pick it up).

Some other things:

@a-whump-muffin​ u inspired me and sometime soon I will be trying to play KH in japanese again, and looking at ur super amazing grammar guide u made ToT (I might try nier automata if its bearable just because I’m playing all the drakengard/nier games right now but... the language is a lot more sci fi so i’m not sure that’d go well... also i want to check if my final fantasy type-0 has japanese language settings...). But like... I am definitely up for looking at a grammar guide, and looking up words on my phone as I play. Now that’s a study method i could DO maybe ToT and also like!!! ultimately i want to do it anyway!!! i just figured it would be drowning and chickened out! but like. to study doing what u wanted to do anyway in the language??!!! wowwww ;-; i mean that’s basically why i’m reading chinese but u get the idea

Other japanese updates: I’m still listening to quickleur I just haven’t done any listening lately (u can tell by the L-R status above lol). It did help a lot though even the bits I listened to, as far as refreshing my mind on particles and verb endings. And the explanation on sentence structures u gave @a-whump-muffin​ !! (who is god tier if ur studying japanese they are <3 <3 )

Part of the ‘personal books read’ goal - I’m counting any textbooks I read in that category, in the hopes if I frame it in my head as reading for personal interest instead of studying, I will do it. Ideally I would LIKE to read my DeFrancis Chinese books, Chinese Nature Method grammar book, Chinese Sentence Patterns book, 2 books I just ordered, my japanese reading books (the 1st one a good refresher the 2nd one literally could be... my textbook for years its got so much). Those chinese books in part because WOW I am so used to so much grammar in context when reading, but when I go to produce language I’m a hot MESS. And I think just like... I really should read those books and fill in the gaps in my understanding and like solidify the correct understanding of what I can comprehend. Sometime.... I ALSO should read my Alan Hoenig chinese characters book. But will I???? AHA. I forgot to mention in my last reading post - but brute forcing learning the hanzi has been going fine actually. I was concerned just looking up hanzi when reading, that I would struggle to learn the new ones. But I can confirm that reading has gotten easier, and I’ve picked up a LOT of hanzi I was previously brute force looking up repeatedly while reading. So like... as long as this keeps working, I’ll keep doing it. I’m very lazy and the path with least resistance and mental exhaustion is what I’ll keep doing, if it works, even if it might be slower. (Although I do think the hanzi books I have are very useful and have helped me speed up progress when I used them).

I learned how to make gifs this month and I’m overwhelmed with all the stuff I could try to do? Idk its very cool i’m very excited about it.

Goals for March:

Basically, we’re sticking to the quite steady study plan I’ve had the past few months, which has boiled down to: read chinese, L-R, listen/watch if desired, do something listening related in japanese if desired. It’s not well rounded or anything but I’m making steady progress and its easy to keep doing.

Anything in bold is what I’m doing right now/likely to do (although we know how often I just derail).

Read chinese novels. (This can include Guardian. Currently includes: hanshe, guardian. On hiatus: Tian Ya Ke).

Listen-Read Guardian. (Reading guardian in Any way is the priority so if this happens yay, but if it doesn’t I’ll be happy if I’m still working through guardian and just postponing the listening part).

Optional. Play video game in japanese, use a dictionary and grammar guide when confused af. This one’s imminently likely just because the instant I get Nier remastered I’m playing it, and also playing Nier Automata etc games, so like... the opportunity and desire to play the japanese versions of games I want to do that with WILL hit me. 

Optional. Watch chinese shows. This one’s also likely because a priest novel drama adaptation just dropped (Word of Honor, shan he ling, tian ya ke/Faraway Wanderer’s adaptation) and I don’t want to wait for the english subs. 

Optional - unlikely (I’m not in the mood to listen to stuff lol). Audios. Keep listening to Japanese Quicksleur when there’s down time (like playing games), and Chinese Spoonfed audio if I feel like it. 

Personal. Keep reading while I’ve got the motivation to. I am really enjoying getting through all these books I’ve wanted to read for so long. 

BELOW I will eventually link a list of story recs (also see tag rec list for more):

Poyun 破云 (recced)

Poyun 破云 2

一级律师 by 木苏里 (recced)

盗墓笔记 series

默读 by priest

他们的故事 by 一根黄瓜丝儿 

寒舍 by 夏灬安兰 pingxie supernatural au

818 (pingxie)

鎮魂 by priest (chapter 4)

天涯客 by priest

Qi Ye 七爷 by priest

六爻 by priest

FGEP

犹记斐然 foxghost rec

一受封疆 foxghost rec

女主大人 我错 gl

将军府小妾生存报告 gl

夜半衣寒 by 夏灬安兰 pingxie (can u tell i like this author)

(瓶邪同人)所谓一切发生在网配+番外 (writer and radio voicer pingxie au)

死亡万花筒 kaleidoscope of death

将军府小妾生存报告  

女主大人，我错了  

魔女霓裳

公主饶命 GL

民政局领到了媳妇

In progressing difficulty, books I want to read and should be ready to read now, a la foxghost’s recommendations:

那些風花雪月 by Gong Zi Huan Xi (took 14 months of study before I tried to read this, did try, did not click with me lol)

不正當關係 by Gong Zi Huan Xi (foxghost said this was the same difficulty as the story above, so I’m probably ready for this one too).

*SCI 谜案集 by ErYa (I’ve heard this somewhat easy to read, is a good story, and since its case-centered I think it would be a good intro to later reading books like Silent Reading by Priest)

龍圖案卷集  by ErYa (There is an audiobook on Ximalaya!)

黑風城戰記  by ErYa (sequel to novel above)

Then the recommendation says you should probably watch a lot of shows for some vocab (I sort of do so I’ll see how that helps me out), and you can start tackling xianxia, like Priest’s “六爻, and then 鎮魂, then 殺破狼, and pretty much any other of GZHX’s works.” I would guess this point is when Tian Ya Ke would be more my reading level, when 六爻 is, at the beginning. I would guess after 鎮魂 is when I could try to tackle Can Ci Pin. Sha Po Lang is steampunk and fantasy, so I would guess it has some of the sci fi type words - so if I’d be ready for that, I might be ready for Can Ci Pin at the same time.

[hesthekingofsomewhere]

Yet Another Chatfic pt 5

part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4

this is a long chapter! and im posting it ahead of schedule! bc I love yall!

please leave comments! likes! I love feedback!

Also! this chapter has a peek into sarah, finch, and alberts groupchat

Queens of New York

8:15

santagay: say yeet if you made it home alive

DJacobs: Yeet!

SJ420: yeet

richbitch: yeet

Spot8365631: yeet

respecs: yeet

albiehadalittlelamb: yeet

WhereforeArtThou: yeet

noteventhatshort: yeet

SJ420: wheres finchy boy?

littlebirdie: still at their apt

littlebirdie: oh right

littlebirdie added crispycrutch to Queens of New York

PM with albiehadalittlelamb

santagay: al, finch slept over

albiehadalittlelamb: yeah ik?

santagay: i hate to say this and be that guy, but al, he slept in crutchies room

santagay: ik whats its like to be cheated on, and i never thought i would be having this conversation about finch but I dont want you to get hurt.

albiehadalittlelamb: ill ask finch, im sure nothing happened

PM with littlebirdie

albiehadalittlelamb: did my fake bf cheat on me?

littlebirdie: …

albiehadalittlelamb: GET SOME BOIII

littlebirdie: lmao so your not mad?

albiehadalittlelamb: why would I be mad? even if we were dating id be chill about this, ik you have a huge thing for crutchie and lord knows youd never get any action from me

albiehadalittlelamb: the only problem is that jack thinks your cheating on me

littlefinch: ok so should we fake-break up? cuz i kind of dont want to, but if jack thinks im cheating on you…

albiehadlittlelamb: i have a plan

albiehadalittlelamb: does crutchie know that were fake dating?

littlebirdie: ye, theres no way i would even be allowed into his room if we were actually dating

albiehadalittlelamb: ok but heres the thing, if jack thinks you cheated on me, then race probably thinks the same

littlebirdie: oooHHHHHH

littlebirdie: so now im also fake cheating on you so that race will feel bad and fall for you and your sad situation

albiehadalittlebird: exactly!

littlebirdie: nice! what could possibly go wrong

Queens of New York

respecs: so why is this chat called queens of new york

inyourFACEtrack: well you see…

inyourFACEtrack: twas all hallows eve 2017

inyourFACEtrack: and 7 of us showed up to kaths halloween as drag queens completely independantly

noteventhatshort: and sarah kath jack and i were dressed as disney princesses

respecs: thats beautiful

respecs: and here i thought it was bc ?everyone? here is lbgtq

santagay: well if you think about it, its both

richbitch: when was the last time we even had a straight in this chat?

crispycrutch: i think  we had morris in the chat for a week when he was dating romeo

santagay: oh god i forgot about that

SJ420: does he even count as a straight?

inyourFACEtrack: well there was a reason he was only in the chat for a week so…

santagay: true, speaking of which

santagay: specs, if you ever hurt romeo, we will find out where you live and steal all of you soap lest you ever get a date again

respecs: noted?

SJ420: he gave me the same threat when I started dating kath lmao

santagay: it worked didnt it?

SJ420: im hate you

santagay: you loved me once loser

WhereforeArtThou: oh shit he went there

inyourFACEtrack: oooooooooooo

crispycrutch: ??????

SJ420: once upon a time i thought i was a het, and then i dated jack for like 2 months

SJ420: and 90% of our relationship was checking out pretty girls together

SJ420: so i figured i should date those pretty girls

noteventhatshort: BIG MOOD

SJ420: for the record the other 10% of the relationship was jack checking out “cute” boys and me being like eh

santagay: and herre i thought you were just trying to stop me from being jealous

SJ420: jack at one point i kissed another girl in front of you and you did not care

noteventhatshort: AHHH

inyourFACEtrack: OOOF

richbitch: AN ICON

santagay: ok well

SJ420: don’t even try bud

DJacobs: That’s my sister!!!!!

santagay: but at least you didnt hide it

santagay: at least you werent kissing people behind my back like SOME people in this chat

SJ420: ????

Spot8365631: i thought you were over that

santagay: i am i just need to have moral high ground over someone

inyourFACEtrack: wait what

noteventhatshort: is this chat just stories of jack getting cheated on now?

richbitch: im living for this

richbitch: jack cant keep a man nor woman

noteventhatshort: but whats this about spot cheating on jack?

santagay: he BROKE my FRAGILE 15 y/o HEART

santagay: but spottie was too cool, lived too fast, couldnt be tied down to one man

Spot8365631: also david was a much better kisser

SJ420: OH SHIT PLOT TWIST

richbitch: CALLED OUT

inyourFACEtrack: 911? theres been a murder?

DJacobs: This…. is true.

inyourFACEtrack: THE LEGEND HIMSELF SPEAKS

respecs: i am living for the drama in this chat

crispycrutch: were kind of a mess tbh

respecs: i understand and completely respect that

inyourFACEtrack: you reSPECt that?

respecs: haha very funny not like thats my goddamn username or anything

Spot8365631: roasted

inyourFACEtrack: bitch

inyourFACEtrack: YO JACK ROMEO, GOT MY MFN 29TH

santagay: fuck offfffff

WhereforeArtThou: this bet is unfair

WhereforeArtThou: im only attracted to one gender, thats less than half the people to ask

santagay: dude ur still winning

WhereforeArtThou: yeah but its a lot more work

inyourFACEtrack: i only have 1 girls number, i think its p even

santagay: this seems like something you should have considered when we started

WhereforeArtThou: ok but consider this

WhereforeArtThou: i didnt

inyourFACEtrack: ok but consider this

inyourFACEtrack: ur a dumbass

WhereforeArtThou: strong words coming from a guy who threw a wii remote out the window

noteventhatshort: fight fight fight fight

inyourFACEtrack: my embarrassments are not ur entertainment smalls

noteventhatshort: ur embarrassments are my only entertainment what r u talking about

Spot8365631: also everything you do is embarrassing

inyouFACEtrack: i feel betrayed

santagay: you should

santagay: i once saw u put hot chocolate mix in oj

inyourFACEtrack: it tastes like a terrys chocolate orange i stand by my choices

crispycrutch: you snorted mr noodles seasoning bc spot told you to

inyourFACEtrack: and i got 20$ for it

Spot8365631: u didnt “””get”””” 20$ ur debt to me was just slightly reduced

inyourFACEtrack: EITHER WAY

crispycrutch: once i watched u drop a spoon into a pot of boiling water and stick ur hand in to get it

inyourFACEtrack: i think ur point has been made, thnk u crutchie

Spot8365631: please do not stop, hes had it coming

crispycrutch: i will stop only bc i value my safety and so i still have receipts for the future

inyourFACEtrack: oh god

inyourFACEtrack: why did i think it was a good idea to live with you

crispycrutch: bc you love me and i contribute to the rent

inyourFACEtrack: touche

crispycrutch: besides, i would have dirt on you regardless

crispycrutch: i have seen each and every one of you do stupid stuff, no one is safe

inyourFACEtrack: mooooom crutchies being meannnn

DJacobs: Crutchie, please delete your blackmail.

crispycrutch: how can i delete it when its in my brain

santagay: i have never been more scared of crutchie

SJ420: crutchie is my idol

crispycrutch: that does not make you safe my friend

SJ420: honestly at this point you could reveal anything about me and i would not care

SJ420: i have reached a god status where nothing you say could possibly embarrass me

richbitch: im so in love with you

SJ420: love you too babe

PM with SJ420

richbitch: ik youre in the next room but i dont want dave to hear, but I got a dinner reservation for two tomorrow at 7 and was wondering if you would like to join me

SJ420: i mean of course, but why are you asking me like this

richbitch: because

richbitch: also you should wear that dress you got for christmas

SJ420: ok?

More Than Just Cigars

SJ420: kath is acting weird

albiehadalittlelamb: what kind of weird

albiehadalittlelamb: like “i just lost a lot of money” weird

albiehadalittlelamb: “i just took a bunch of acid” weird?

littlebirdie: oh no is it “i just slept with jack” weird?!

SJ420: oh god no

SJ420: she texted me and asked me on a date

SJ420: i asked her why and she said because

littlebirdie: !!!!!!!!!

littlebirdie: DID SHE ASK YOU TO WEAR SOMETHING SPECIFIC

SJ420: ye, a dress from christmas

albiehadalittlelamb: OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD

littlebirdie: GIRL

SJ420: what????

littlebirdie: jfc ur blind

albiehadalittlelamb: if u havent caught on yet we cant morally help u srry

SJ420: GUYS PLEASE

littlebirdie: nope

albiehadalittlelamb: have fun on ur date tho

PM with santagay

albiehadalittlelamb: oh yeah finch did not, in fact cheat on me

albiehadalittlelamb: he was just making up with crutchie last night, they had a fight

santagay: and u trust finch in this

albiehadalittlelamb: ofc, ive known finch a long time, he would never

santagay: ok if you insist, i just dont want you to get hurt

albiehadalittlelamb: thanks jack

Queens of New York

littlebirdie: anyone else just, super glad that theyre gay?

littlebirdie: bc thats such an important feeling

DJacobs: Me too, Finch

Spot8365631: rt

SJ420: rt

noteventhatshort: rt

WhereforeArtThou: rt

albiehadalittlelamb: rt

santagay: rt but bi

inyourFACEtrack: rt but bi

richbitch: rt but bi

respecs: rt but bi

crispycrutch: rt but pan

littlebirdie has changed Queens of New York to Queers of New York

inyourFACEtrack: helllllll yeah

Spot8365631: no cussing, my mom checks my phone

inyourFACEtrack: oh my goodness im so sorry spot

inyourFACEtrack: ill delete the message right away

DJacobs: What?

DJacobs: Why does your mom check your messages, Spot?

DJacobs: You’re 23 and moved out?

DJacobs: Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you swear in this chat.

DJacobs: This is a meme, isn’t it?

santagay: u got there on ur own!

santagay: im so proud of u!

DJacobs: Thank you, Jack.

inyourFACEtrack: why does it feel like everyone is in loving and healthy relationships except me?

PM with inyourFACEtrack

Spot8365631: wow rude

inyourFACEtrack: were not in a relationship remember?

Queers of New York

DJacobs: Jack and I are not dating.

santagay: dude, were mom and dad, i think that’s close enough

respecs: question, in this mom/dad thing, who is everyone else

santagay: kath and sarah are the aunts obvi

inyourFACEtrack: smalls, romeo, crutchie, al, and i are their kids

inyourFACEtrack: finch used to be one of the kids but now hes dating al so that seems weird

inyourFACEtrack: i guess hes sarahs kid now?

SJ420: awwww i love my new son

respecs: what about spot?

santagay: hes kind of… his own entity… like an estranged uncle or neighbor that spends more time in ur house than his own

Spot8365631: rude but accurate

santagay: thats my name dont wear it out

Spot8365631: i hate you sm

santagay: then y r u always in my house???

Spot8365631: this metaphor has gone to far. blocked deleted and unfollowed.

santagay: honestly? thats fair

santagay: i respect ur choices

Spot8365631: sounds fake but ok

PM with Spot8365631

inyourFACEtrack: in a beautiful twist of fate, crutchie jack are going to see a movie with davey and kath, and im home alone with a meat lovers pizza on its way

Spot8365631: ok?

inyourFACEtrack: would you care to join me?

Spot8365631: no, sounds too much like a date, and were not in a relationship right?

inyourFACEtrack: dude, were friends, sharing a pizza, and maybe having anal sex

inyourFACEtrack: thats not a date its just what we do

Spot8365631: still no, i have to finish a foreign policy essay for tomorrow

inyourFACEtrack: oh ok

[theolddarkmachine]

Writer Questions

Technically I was tagged in this by @smartcookie727 lol Not sure if being tagged in an answer counts. But also given that the actual words for the I’ll Tag section are “if ya wanna do it go for it,” I’m gonna avoid my responsibilities and sleep and do it.

1) How many works in progress do you currently have?

Is this like multi-chapter type things that are currently being written and shared? Or like, things I’m working on but haven’t been shared yet? Imma go with the first. I got four. On the Gajevy front we got Kingdom. On the Sheith front we got I’ll Take the Blame, You Take My Conscience; For the Love of Football does this really count since its a series of one shots i dont even know whatever counting it; and Vector to the Stars. PEEP THAT HORRIBLE EXCUSE AT SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION Y’ALL. dont worry i hate me too lol

2) Do you/would you write fanfiction?

Uuuuuh, yes. Because that’s literally why I’m here lol Writing is kind of my thing? I have a degree in journalism, which I got solely because I thought that that would do better for getting me a job than a degree in creative writing, but would still allow me to write a book. Not, that you need a degree to do that. But when I did decide to try my hand at fan fiction, it was as a vehicle to hone the technical aspect of my writing and my voice, not only for the possibility of publishing one day, but also for my own journalistic writing. SO, to answer this as 21 y/o Vicci who hadn’t yet dipped her toes into the proverbial fan fic pond yet, yes, I would. 

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

PAPER. There is something about good, old fashion paper books. Will I read an ebook? Sure. I read shit on my computer all the time, I got a couple things in iBooks right now. But I will always, ALWAYS go paper over ebook any day.

4) When did you start writing?

Like.... just.... ever? Or for fic? I wrote my first original work in the 6th grade. Still got it too. It’s horrible and has every lame middle school writer thing you can think of down to cross dressing to sneak into a villain’s lair-- TWICE-- dragons because why the hell not, and Egypt. Honestly, 6th grade Vicci was on a whole other level. I’ll have to pull it out some time to get a good laugh, and send myself into a void of embarrassment. no i was actually really proud of that thing. its like 200+ pages handwritten Writing fic, I started five years ago with ye olde 1D fan fiction. The first two were horrendous. To this day, I still cherish Tweethearts.

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

This is the part where I admit to you that aside from like twice, no one reads my work before I post it. Everything you get goes up un-beta’d. Up until like a month and a half ago, I didn’t even read anything before posting it. I literally added my asterisks at the end and then sent it on its way. Now almost everything gets a read through before I share, but never ever to anyone else. WHY YOU ASK. I did my time with editors with the near decade I wrote for various websites and magazines and I have had my work changed to the point that the entire meaning and feeling behind it was torn away until it wasn’t even what I’d intended in the first place. So I have trust issues with other people getting their hands on my stuff. Long story short, no lol 

6) Where is your favorite place to write?

I don’t think I really have one. I do a lot of writing while I’m working, so a lot of it happens at the dining room table lol If not there, in bed. Sometimes the car. Sometimes the shower. 

7) Favorite childhood book?

How childhood are we talking? I had a book of old fairy tales haha is spelled it tail the first time rip that had the most beautiful illustrations and I really loved that book. And also A Wish for Wings That Work. ALSO I REALLY LOVED WALK TWO MOONS.

8) Writing for fun or publication?

Fun is my priority right now, but I am writing Vector to the Stars with the intent of possibly editing it into an original work and publishing one day. But I like to think that if I ever do publish something, I wrote it for fun to begin with.

9) Pen and paper or computer?

BOTH. I’ll also take on tablet and phone for $500, Alex. Look, I got my start in handwriting shit and sometimes you just need to feel pen on paper to get the juices flowing. Does it go quicker typing? Yes. Yes it does. But I’m a staunch believer that, much like in life, you sometimes need a change of pace and scenery. Whenever I get stuck, I switch the medium up. So both. All. Whatever.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

My entire college career was a writing class lol That’s a lie, the first year was core classes and the second year I still had to deal with science, but the last year and a half was nothing but writing. Of course, not really the same since it’s a completely different form of writing but you know. IT COUNTS OKAY I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF MY EDUCATION COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. 

11) What inspires you to write?

Music. Music, music, always music. There’s a reason I devoted that much of my life to music journalism, and it’s because music is one of the great loves of my life. Sure, I need the inspiration of characters that speak to me, but every single thing that I have written has a soundtrack and music that gets the juices flowing. I dare say 90% of the things I’ve written all were born from music. 

EXAMPLES: 

Tweethearts came to me while listening to R U Mine? by the Arctic Monkeys. I wrote that chapter-- which happens like more than halfway through the fic-- before I wrote anything else.

ITTB came to me while listening to Eden playlists. To this day I cannot write anything for that fic without putting on my Eden mix.

I’m Gonna Be came to me while I was in the shower listening to Sleeping At Last.

The one shot that became MLC came to me while listening to Walking On Cars, who the band Gajeel travels with is modeled after.

VTTS was born from Glory by Dermot Kennedy also while in the shower.

Pt 3 of the football AU revealed itself during a cover of Call Me Maybe.

Long story short, I am very much inspired by music.

I’ll tag: I’m not sure who has done this so I’m gonna throw folks on here and if y’all just hella don’t want to, it’s the biggest of nbds. IF YOU AREN’T TAGGED BUT WANNA DO THIS, CONSIDER THIS YOUR TAG. @nocturna131 @whereisthefood123 @phaltu @arahir @capaleran2 @ranunculus-fox @runicscribbles

[wrotetheaboveoftoday]

1833 Sun. 24 March

6 3/4 11 40/.. U + + L U L finish morning - at least, fair - ground white with snow perhaps an inch deep - Fahrenheit 46º at 6 3/4 just as I had lighted my fire and 35º at 7 3/4 outside my window - read from page 26 to 48 Jesse's gleanings - breakfast at 8 3/4 - talking to Marian till came upstairs at 9 3/4 - read from page 48 to 107 Jesse's gleanings - from 11 55/.. to 12 wrote 3 pp. [pages] and ends and under the seal to Miss M[a]cL- [MacLean] quickly easily and agreeably written - dated 'Saturday evening 23 March 1833' lose no time in assuring not only do not begrudge postage but am most grateful for the letter enclosed (from her Russian friend which I had not read till this morning - useful) - conclude I have leave to keep it - will write immediately to Lady Stuart to inquire of Lord Goderich if the letters from Saint Petersburg and Moscow have been sent to him - should be sorry to lose them; 'for, should circumstances postpone my northern tour to next year, which is yet uncertain still this friends letters would not be out of date; and, I see plainly, would probably be among the most useful I should have - thank you very much for this service you have done me'

Then ask if I can be of use in inquiring about the Retreat - may depend upon my discretion - to keep up your spirits and hopes - a foreign friend of mine attacked at xmas [Chirstmas] same way 'already so much recovered as to give promise of certain, tho' slow recovery' - alluded to Mme. Galvani - express my sorrow at this so great affliction to them all, and my hope of Mrs. Maclean's having already got well over her confinement - interested about Miss M[a]cL-'s [MacLean's] (always begin my dear Breadalbane and conclude 'believe me always very truly yours A. Lister') nieces - 'hope to see them all fine amiable accomplished girls' - thanks for the willow plants - mention having written the other day to her agent to acknowledge the receipt of them and to herself but glad now that I had thought my pp. [pages] not worth her time or postage 'you dont know the pleasure I shall have in looking at these willows, nor how much I feel obliged to you' -

Mention hoping to be in London in May for a day - must go to Paris in the 1st instance - and expect being at Langton in 2 or 3 weeks but letters directed here will find me here or will not lose much time in being forwarded - mention V-'s [Vere's] confinement being expected the middle of June, as Mrs. C- [Cameron], mère, I told Miss M[a]cL- [MacLean] merely June - cannot make out the name of the young Russian but his letter useful - was studying in Edinburgh - talks of meeting his brother in Germany -

Says May best month for Saint P- [Petersburg] the heat troublesome in summer - bad hotels but the London hotel and Demont house the best - Well Kept English boarding houses in the street Galernoy where should English but he never wants to meet his countrymen in traveling - has enough of them at home and should I in such a case - Steam boats twice a week from Lubeck to Copenhagen in 24 hours and once a week to Saint Petersburg in 80 - 90 hours Best booksellers for foreign books at Saint P- [Petersburg] are Messrs. Saint Florent and company where a Saint P- [Petersburg] guide can be had - much praises the Empress's girls'-schools - mineralogical collection at the École des mines one of the best in Europe - to see Cathedral of Cæsar and monastary of Nevsky - Particularly to see Moscow - Saint Basil's church - good Moscow guide in French to had at Saint P- [Petersburg] or at Moscow -

Inns better than at Saint P- [Petersburg] Hotel du Nord opposite to the military governor - road between the 2 capitals 1 of the best in Europe and all but about 40 miles beautifully macadamized - Inns on the road evenly 40 miles (about 10 of these called palaces because the imperial family stop at them) - posthouses all the way - no delay for at every stage not less than 500 houses - postage cheap - whole distance 700 versts or 400 miles (105 versts to a degree) for 210 roubles or £8.15 (1 rouble = 10d.) 'and an additional guinea to the postboys for the whole way will make them quite happy - must take their carriage -

Carriages easily to be hired at Saint P- [Petersburg] for a trifling sum - comfortable stage coach every day between the 2 capitals - 4 insides and 2 outsides - inside place £5 travel day and night - see Novgorod - 1/2 way and from Saint P- [Petersburg] canal that joins the Caspian to the Baltic - 90 miles from Moscow see Iver [Tver] on Volga -

Downstairs at 11 55/.. my aunt and I read the service as usual and I read sermon 35 and last of the volume of Mr. K- [Knight] our late vicars sermons - just looked into the Life of Sir Humphry Davy by Jno. [John] Ayrton Paris M.D. 4to. [quarto] London 1831 brought it upstairs with me at 1 35/.. and reading the 2 last but one concluding chapters and skimming other parts - (writings on Salmonia and Consolations in Travel and elements of chemistry etc.) till 3 35/.. - then wrote all but the 1st 3 lines of today till 4 20/.. - from 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 wrote a full 1/2 sheet and 1 page and ends of envelop to 'The Honorable Lady Stuart, Whitehall' under to 'Captain Stuart M.P. Grenadier Guards, Whitehall, London' - tho' had a pretty good account of her from Lady S- de R- [Stuart de Rothesay] yet it seems long since I heard from her (Lady S- [Stuart]) and, now winter come, anxious to hear how she bears it - 

'surely I shall see you before the end of May - tho' I told Lady Stuart de Rothesay, I should write to you in a day or 2, I think I should have waited a post or 2 longer, in the hope of fixing the day for going to my friends at Langton, had I not just had a letter from Miss Maclean fearing there was some mistake about letters from Saint Petersburg which her friend had probably sent under cover to Lord Goderich, and which, my Lord knowing nothing about them, might perhaps be lost - may I ask you to be so good as inquire if any such letters had arrived, and if they have, to apologize for their being so directed (which I really knew nothing about) and to say, that I should be very much obliged by their being forwarded to me here -

Miss Maclean tells me, Vere had not written to her for a long time, but that Mrs. Cameron had written to announce the event expected in June - Poor dear Vere! I wish she was safe in London - you will be very anxious about her; and so shall I too - Her friends in Mull seem now to doubt whether they shall see her this summer or not - I have no letter from her since that of the 20th of January - I am glad, on all accounts, she is coming home - my own plans are still rather uncertain - now that Italy must be given up for the present (the heat would be too great in summer) I am still doubting between my northern tour, and a ramble in Auvergne - I want very much to see this part of France, and, when I wrote on Tuesday to Lady Stuart de R- [Rothesay], I told her, it was my favorite scheme just now - yet I have fits and starts about Copenhagen, and Saint Petersburg, and scarcely know how it will end -

Should you be writing to Lady Harriet de Hagemann, will you be so good as give my love, and tell her, I have long been thinking of writing not at all ungrateful for her doubly kind offer of potatos and compagnon de voyage and de vie too) but that I am waiting to make up my mind - I really should like to tell you my adventures in Russia; but I have still 1 or 2 potherations that may make it advisable for me to remain within reach some time longer - and this feeling is a disagreeable restraint - so Lady Gordon is coming to her house in London, and meaning to spend next winter at Rome - Has she been all this while in Herefordshire? I fear you have no good political news - the compact, however, paid to the duke of Wellington by the town of Hull, is gratifying - the poor duchesse de Berri! what a shocking dénouement! I do hope to have a good account of you - and believe me always, dear Lady Stuart, very Truly and affectionately yours A Lister - my Kind regards to Captain Stuart, who, I hope, does his parliamentary duties with as much pleasure as can be expected, under present circumstances' -

The above is all the letter but the 1st page of the 1/2 sheet - wrote it all out till 6 - sealed and gave out for the post tonight and dinner at 6 1/2 at which hour gave for the post my letter to Lady S- [Stuart] vide last page and my letter to 'Miss Maclean of Coll, Coll house, Aros, N.B. North Britain' - after dinner till 9 read from page 106 to 196 gleanings in natural history with local recollections by Edward Jesse, Esquire

surveyor of his majesty's parks and palaces to which are advised maxims and hints for an

       angler. --- not a tree,            a plant, a leaf, a blossom, but contains            a folio volume. We may read, and read,            and read again, but still find something new,            something to please, and something to instruct,            E'en even in the noisome weed.

           a new edition London John Murray Albermarle Street 1832.        London printed by William Clowes Standord Street 1 volume 12mo. duodecimo pp. pages 313        from page 309 to the end, on tree planting - worth turning to for his method of moving languish trees in Bushy Park -

from 9 to 9 1/2 reading Sir Richard Phillips's million of facts (mineral kingdom) - went into the other room at 9 35/.. and came upstairs at 10 40/.. having read or skimmed over the courier all as usual but the debates - Lord Graves's estate (came into his possession in 1800), near Exeter (Bishop's court) sold to Alderman Garratt of London for £75,000 - rental about £1400 a year - tolerably fine day till between 2 and 3 and then afterwards a few showers of small driving snow or sleet - Fahrenheit 48º now at 11 40/.. p.m. -