#i think the tension is at an ALL TIME HIGH and extremely AMPLIFIED lol

[seiwas]

@soumies

Megumi for knife to the throat but the blade can't seem to cut this weird sexual tension we've got going on

you're the only one that's holding me down, megumi fushiguro ;

pairing megumi fushiguro x f!reader word count 1.3k synopsis pressing a blade to your ex-fiance's throat, and other loving, tender moments content contains exes still in love, slight angst

Staring directly into someone’s face is such an intimate act. 

You don’t realize this fact until you’re straddling Megumi’s annoyingly slim waist, the glint of your blade against his throat causing the sunlight to beam right into your eye. 

Everyone claims that Megumi Fushiguro is the ultimate pretty boy. Mai claims that his bone structure is undefeated and that any sane girl would commit atrocious crimes against humanity to get lashes as nice as his natural ones. Momo says that she’s never seen a shade of blue eyes as pretty as Megumi’s (her only frame of reference, by the way, happen to be her own bug-eyes and Satoru Gojo’s, whose eyes are so freakishly, eerily icy blue that you’re thankful he wears the blindfold twenty-four/seven). Even Miwa, who is too busy trying to earn a living, can take the time to admit that Megumi Fushiguro is the exact type of person the ancient Greeks model gods after. 

You want to blame their admiration of Megumi on the fact that thanks to their attendance at the Kyoto school, interactions with cute boys were few and far between. Todo’s fine, if you’re into loudmouths who could also pose as the poster boy for steroids — or, even better, those clickbait ads on shady websites that tell you if you take this magical pill, in three days, you can be as shredded as him! Noritoshi is so stiff and aloof that no one can view him as hot. Mechamaru is a fucking robot. 

So, the bar for the Kyoto girls’ rating of attractiveness is damn near hell. You examine Megumi’s face and eagerly search for a flaw to hold against him. There’s a faint, barely noticeable scar above his lips. It blends into his skin seamlessly, and you think your eyes could be tricking you. However, you latch onto this scar. Megumi Fushiguro is not the perfect specimen, you think smugly. 

“Let me go,” he snaps. “If anyone’s acting under the effects of the curse, it’s you.”

“You’re not exactly in the position to be ordering me around,” you point out. You have one hand pressed against his chest to steady yourself, the other gripping the knife. 

“Clearly you still consider me a threat.” His eyes flicker downwards, even though he can’t possibly see his hands. They’re bound behind his back, his cursed energy sealed from the specialized handcuffs you managed to lock on him. The last thing you needed was for him to sic his wild animals on you. 

“Maybe I just like this position.” 

A momentary truce forms when you don’t tease him for his cheeks turning pink, and he pretends not to notice that when you realize your accidental underlying innuendo, your grip on the dagger loosens considerably. 

Megumi is fully aware that your bark and your bite are on the same level of batshit insane. He figures this is just how all women sorcerers have to be in order to survive this environment. If you say you’re going to slit his throat at the first sign of him being compromised by a curse, he can trust that you would keep your word. 

You didn’t threaten him, though. Instead, when the curse nearly got a good touch on him, you had screamed out his name. You let the curse get away in favor of tackling him to the ground, and the frenzied look on your face as you searched him for any sign of possession makes his insides twist and heat rise to his cheeks and paint the tips of his ears a flushed pink. 

For a second, it still felt like you cared about him. 

Then, you slapped those restrictive cuffs on him and got on top, as a means to restrain him. He had frozen up when he realized how close your bodies are, how he can feel the warmth from you traveling and enveloping his own body. 

This is bad, Megumi realizes. Not because the curse got to him — it didn’t. It’s bad that his heart still goes pitter-patter every time you’re near, and that he’s hyper aware of the way your body fits nicely and neatly against his own. He knows that it’s wrong to be feeling this way, to want to savor every last scrap of you that he can get. The jujutsu world is small. Nearly everyone knows about the broken engagement between you two. Having the both of you paired up for a mission, especially since your territories are so far from each other, is a sick and twisted joke. 

The curse thrives on couples, intertwining itself with its victim and twisting their host’s love into hatred. There’s been a recurring theme of lovers murdering their significant others. The more love in their heart, the stronger the curse’s manipulation. 

It just goes to show that too much love is a fucking burden, a curse in and of itself. You know that it is, because if it came down to it, if Megumi were truly compromised and wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t have it in you to kill him first. 

“I told you, I haven’t been hit by the curse.” 

“How can I know that this isn't just a trick? You’ve always been good at self-restraint and hiding yourself from me.” The comment is petty, all things considered. In the end, when Megumi asked you if breaking off the engagement was what you truly wanted, you remained expressionless and impassive. We can’t ever go back to the way things were. There’s no point in not breaking it off. 

He scoffs. “Don’t you think I’d kill myself the minute I felt something in me shift?”

You know Megumi. He doesn’t say things just to say them. He means it, every word, and you don’t know why, but it makes the part of you that longs for him — the part of you that is always in a constant state of wanting him, needing him — intensify. Multiply. Takes over your whole entire system until you are reduced to a being whose hunger can only be satiated by Megumi. 

“Idiot. You always go to the extremes.” You opt for saying this, instead of commenting on the fact that Megumi is very much implying that he would rather end his own life rather than take yours. 

“Do you really think I’d ever want to hurt you?” And suddenly, you realize that the two of you are no longer discussing the current matter at hand. Like with all things that involve the both of you, the root of the problem always leads back to your engagement. He was meant to be the one you married, and then he refused the Zenin name, refused most of the traditional jujutsu society, and when it came down to his freedom or you, he—

��gave you the option to choose. 

Him or comfort. Him or safety. Him or family. 

You didn’t realize it at the time, but all choices lead to him. He is the one you are most comfortable with, he is the one who would die to keep you safe, he is the one who you could see yourself creating a happy family with. As happy as a family can be in this fucked up society. 

He hurt you, but it was you who handed him the blade. You, who took his wrist and guided it straight to your heart. Just looking at him right now reopens that old wound. 

“The curse can only change you if there’s love to destroy.” You point out.

“I know.” He says. “Lucky that it didn’t get to me. It would have ended badly for the both of us.”

[capricores]

🔥 MARS RETROGRADE GUIDE 🔥

— BASICS/FAQ.

what is a retrograde? a retrograde, put simply, is when a planet appears to be spinning backwards in the sky. during the times of retrograde, the energy of a planet is turned inwards. retrogrades are not usually the best time to try activating the energy of that planet. you may feel blocked, held back, or stressed around the themes relating to that planet. it will be a very internal time for that energy in your chart; wherever said planet is (as well as the planets it strongly aspects), will be pushed into introspective mode by the retrograde planet. consider the word retrograde itself; it is a time to reflect, review, reinvent, repurpose, etc. generally not the best time for starting new things, initiation, and so forth; but it is possible.

what does mars represent? a lot of people make the mistake of just associating mars with sex and lust. and although, sure, it does connect to that; it’s so much more. mars is about our motivation, it’s our energy, our pursuit of our passions and desires, drive, aggression, confrontation styles, self-expression, confidence, etc.

does it affect me differently if my natal mars is retrograde? some people believe retrograde transits affect those with natal retrograde less strongly. personally, i haven’t really noticed that entirely. i have natal saturn retrograde, and i actually usually feel ease when saturn transits retrograde; it’s like my saturn becomes “normal”. however, i have friends with natal retrograde planets who feel no ease during transit retrogrades. so again, i think it’s very dependent on your entire chart and the aspects of the planets currently. even i had quite a difficult time during the last saturn retrograde and did not feel any sort of ease. this time could be slightly easier because you’re used to having mars energy pushed internally, but at the same time, if it strongly aspects your natal mars (especially a conjunction - and even hitting your other planets), it might just makes things even more tense and amplified. but overall, i’d say you’re safe to read the same information on mars retrograde impacts as anyone else.

— GENERAL & WHAT TO EXPECT.

mars in aries does NOT do well in retrograde. i personally imagine those of you that have never felt too affected by a mars retrograde, will absolutely feel this one: and it will hit hard. i’m not saying this as a way to invoke fear: everything will be fine. but the energy of this retrograde is especially heavy, considering all the planets mars is currently harshly aspecting (saturn, pluto to name the standouts). the issue here is, mars & aries are both excited energies. they are bold, brash, reactive; they are initiators. they like to act before thinking. they are full of energy, passion and aggression. the retrograde is about (over)thinking before acting, slowing down, reflecting, turning inwards (mars energy likes to stay outward; noticed; loud), etc. the concept of retrograde opposes everything mars represents; especially when mars is in it’s ruling sign of aries; who greatly reflects mars’ energy.

mars rarely stations retrograde as well; usually every two and a half years (i believe), and it very rarely does so in aries. because most of us aren’t used to this planet stationing retrograde (unlike mercury, who likes to retrograde multiple times a year), it seems to just hit harder. i also want to specifically mention the fact this mars retrograde will be squaring saturn. mars square saturn is a very difficult aspect; i am someone that has this in my natal chart and it’s quite frustrating. saturn is about restriction and caution; mars is more fearlessness and recklessness. right now, it feels like saturn is holding mars’ energy back even more than the retrograde is. it’s not allowing the uninhibited expression of the mars energy. we may feel a lot of blockages in relation to the common themes shared by mars and saturn (especially career, work, pursuit of passion; as well as responsibility, control, power - authority figures, etc).

some general things to expect, regardless of your mars placement:

headaches: unfortunately; this is going to bring a lot of headaches, literal ones (although figurative ones as well). i think general body aches are going to be common due to the fact mars is aspecting so many planets. namely the saturn aspect will probably cause a lot of full body/bones/joint/muscle soreness, and probably a lot of toothaches and similar issues. i can even see abdomen/pelvic pain flaring because the pluto aspect. make sure you’re taking very good care of your health right now and see a doctor when you need to! (i’m not hugely into medical astrology, but i do notice these type of mars and saturn transits personally coinciding with an increase in headaches, toothaches, and overall soreness- for me and friends at least)

passive aggression, irritability, unnecessary hostility, arguments over pointless things, people who tend to bottle finally exploding, high tension

strong lack of energy, motivation, drive: lethargy and exhaustion are common (but again, be careful and see a doctor if these things are extreme)

tension in workplace environments; coworker disagreements, namely issues with management (power struggles)

feeling very blocked in terms of your goals; again especially in regards to work and your passions

you may also feel very blocked in relationships/pursuing relationships

likely an increased sex drive: i think all the tension and energy turning inwards is just pushing some people to maximum overload lol

confusion regarding passions/goals/relationships/etc: because we’re doing so much reflecting on mars themes, you may start doubting your wants/goals/interests/relationships/etc (depends on the transit house/aspects) as you’re thinking about them so much. it’s not inherently bad; reflection is a great thing! just be wary of overthinking. don’t be shocked as new things come to light and you start getting the urge to change paths, methods, etc

realization of mistreatment/acting on such: this is a BIG theme and i think we clearly see it in our world right now. since mars is/will be in harsh aspect to so many other planets representing power, control & authority (saturn & pluto) as well as jupiter who represents expansion, growth & excess; a lot of us are going to start setting boundaries. we’re going to be rethinking the times we’ve been mistreated, taken advantage of, the things we’ve let slide but shouldn’t have, and so forth. we’re especially noticing those abusing excess (jupiter) amounts of power (saturn/pluto/mars) both in our lives and in the world. this is THE time to start making and setting new boundaries; putting your foot down and denying those who don’t deserve your energy any sort of access to you! it may be a bit of a painful time if we’re reflecting on moments of abuse and similar; so take care of yourselves and please stay safe!

if you’re interested in what to expect/predictions based on what house(s) mars is transiting in your chart, as well as what to expect based on your natal planets that square/opposition/conjunct or quincunx mars; i’ll be making a post about such on patreon in a few days (i’ll add the link here when it’s up!). the patreon  post also includes questions to ask yourself based on where mars is transiting for you, to help with your retrograde reflection/healing/journaling/etc! 

if you’re familiar with astrology, just note the house mars is transiting through in your chart right now will show what area of your life is especially inward and lacking motivation. that’s where you’ll especially be needing to reflect on mars-related themes such as power, drive, expression, confidence, etc (same goes for the planets it is aspecting in your natal chart).

— ADVICE.

think hard before acting; don't jump into things without lots of consideration - much like venus retrograde be cautious of starting and ending relationships on impulse (end bad relationships tho pls!!! this is a great time for that!!! i just mean this in a way of like; if your significant other gets on your nerves once in a while and you wanna leave- think it over a few times; and also don’t jump into a relationship with someone you met yesterday)

don't start arguments/confrontations unless absolutely necessary (think: will this fight really benefit me, why am i REALLY upset right now, etc). i think it’s extremely important right now to make sure we aren’t bottling and exploding on people/in situations that don’t deserve it and weren’t the main cause of our frustration

exercise, stretch; do something physical to release energy from your body, if you can! mars is a very physical planet so any sort of movement can help a lot (just again be careful as always)

be gentle on yourself! it's okay if you need more rest during these times, don't be too hard on yourself for hitting roadblocks in goals - take this time to plan, think through what you really want, figure out how you’re gonna go for it and achieve this; then act after the rx or when you have more energy

start setting more boundaries; realize who does and doesn’t deserve to be in your life. realize that self-worth and how amazing you are!

ko-fi for tips 😊