#i think the funniest thing is that my original results where i tried to answer as honestly as i could i got benny

[ratatatastic]

what answers give you the matthew result :)

i got his result 3 seperate times and these were the answers as listed above. the commonality between all 3 are dog, night, music, beach, pizza, and trucks but that doesnt mean much if we dont exactly know what constitutes as a point in favour of maffhew but is fun to look at and seeing which one youd /think/ would be something that seems like him

[hikari-kaitou]

Capcom's Official AA Fanclub Surveys - DGS Edition

Many Western fans may be familiar with the Turnabout 4koma comics that get posted on the official AA fanclub site that Capcom runs, thanks to some lovely fans on tumblr and elsewhere who have shared their translations. What fewer people seem to know about is the character surveys.

Back in the old days, they used to hold a survey on Capcom's official AA fansite every few months where they'd write about the seasonal activities of a handful of characters and ask fans to vote for the funniest/most pleasant/strangest/etc answer.

They stopped doing them in like... 2016? 2017? The original text is lost for good as far as I can tell. Even the wayback machine couldn't help because the content was password locked and you can't get past the password wall while remaining in the archived version.

Fortunately, I saved some of my translations of them so I thought I’d share them.

Cut for length...

"February has begun, and the DGS cast is nearing the end of their journey aboard the RFS Alacrei. Which of them acted the most strangely?"

Ryuunosuke ~ Exhausted from his intensive study session, he decided to try some katana swinging practice as a change of pace and to combat his recent lack of exercise. But because he wasn't used to handling the katana, he swung it too hard and it went flying out of his hands and got stuck in the wall right next to Sherlock, who had just entered the room. Sherlock asked him, "aren't you supposed to be studying right now, Mr. Naruhodo?" and handcuffed him to his desk.

Susato- worked on developing a curriculum for Ryuunosuke. 'If we keep going at this pace, he won't be able to learn it all in time... It'll be hard on Naruhodo-sama, but we'll have to work hard through a couple of nights together.' With that thought, she created a harsh study schedule, and almost seemed to be looking forward to it for some reason.

Sherlock- Driven by excitement over the thought of returning to England after a long absence, he went up on deck to stare at the ocean. Being February, it was very cold out there and he ended up being chilled all the way to the tips of his fingers. He returned to the ship cabins and amused himself by putting his frozen hands on Ryuunosuke, who was stuck in his room studying.

Van Zieks- Upon hearing from Vortex that there was a Japanese exchange student coming to England to study law, he smashed a Lord's Bottle. He apparently also didn't care for the fact that that Japanese student wouldn't be alone, because he proceeded to shatter his chalice, too.

Hosonaga- in order to provide a respite from studying, he provided some hot chocolate. They enjoyed a pleasant tea time, marveling over how sweet and delicious the drink was until Sherlock piped up with some unnecessary trivia: 'Actually folks, chocolate has long been used in Europe as an aphrodisiac!' Everyone promptly spat it out."

"The long winter is nearly over and spring is on it's way, putting the DGS cast members in a celebratory mood. Who found the best way of enjoying spring?"

Ryuunosuke: the Yuumei University faculty members were holding a flower viewing event, and he joined the assistance committee. He exhausted himself keeping the blankets clean so the intense shower of flower petals wouldn't pile up too high on them, delivering sake and snacks, and mediating whatever pointless fights arose. To top it all off, for some reason his compensation was only a single piece of leftover candy. Talk about a sad result!

Susato- her father and the others living in his dormitory were  holding the flower viewing event, so she got up early to prepare the bentos. But her father carelessly forgot to tell her that they wanted tea cakes, so she had to go around the house and neighborhood collecting sweets. For some reason, she ended up being able to gather caramels, biscuits, candy sticks, basically everything but tea cakes, for the tea ceremony.

Sherlock- he disguised himself as a beat officer and infiltrated Scotland Yard to have some fun. There was a real beat officer napping on his feet in the spring sunshine, and while observing him, Sherlock ended up falling asleep too. Detective Gregson gave them a good scolding when he found them, but then Sherlock revealed his true identity with a "hey, it's me, folks!" "What the blazes do you think you're doing?!" Gregson shouted, his rage growing even more, and Sherlock ended up making a run for it.

Van Zieks- went to the vineyard to oversee the production of the contents of his Lord's Bottle. As he viewed the still unopened grape blossom buds, he thought about how they would someday grow up to fill his Lord's Bottle, and ended up going around to look at each one. But the farm hands couldn't stop wondering whether the bottle itself or its owner's heel might come flying at them and were quite uneasy.

Asougi: exhausted himself running around since early morning helping with the professors' flower viewing event. When it was over, he took a break, sharing his reward candy stick [the name of the candy literally translates to 1,000 year candy] with Ryuunosuke, who had also been helping out. 

"I wonder if the candy's effect is halved if you share it with someone."

"That still gives us 500 years."

They laughed and enjoyed looking at the flowers until dark. Then they parted ways with a handshake and a "see you later, best friend."

(This one was something about celebrating New Years. For some reason I didn't save the original question)

"Ryuunosuke ~ To celebrate New Years, he planned to pound mochi with everyone at the office. He somehow managed to get his hands on some mochi rice and he and Sherlock started pounding. Iris was having such fun watching them that she steamed a whole bunch more mochi rice so they could have some to share, and he and Sherlock spent the whole evening pounding mochi like crazy.

Asougi~ Because it's New Years, he went around to a bunch of shrines. When he drew his new year's fortune, he got a "horrible luck" result. "I'm not worried about it," he claimed, and headed up to the mountains early on New Years morning and work hard on a full training course of purification by water, meditation under a waterfall and wooden sword practice. It seems that he was working really hard to clear his mind of all earthly thoughts

Sherlock- Agreed to help Ryuunosuke pound mochi. As Ryuunosuke was flipping the mochi over, he carelessly dropped his badge into the bowl and Sherlock mixed it in without noticing, so they had to crack open both the hard and soft mochi to look for it. Fortunately they found it in the 4th one they checked, but apparently Sherlock got his hands and face covered in sticky white mochi in the process.

Susato- Wore a furisode and went with her father to do the first shrine visit of the year. The shrine was incredibly crowded and they had to wait in line for a long time, but she brought the Encyclopaedia of British Law and a copy of the Strand Magazine in her sleeves to secretly read as they waited so she actually ended up enjoying the wait.

Van Zieks- Ryuunosuke cheerfully gave him some mochi as a New Year’s (which at that time was celebrated at the same time as the Chinese New Year) gift, which he accepted confusedly, wondering “...Can the Japanese not even keep track of when the New Year is?” Because Ryuunosuke referred to it as a rice cake, he tried to eat it like a regular cake without softening it with heat first. It was so hard that he couldn’t imagine how it could possibly be food, and ended up misunderstanding the Japanese even more!

"Autumn has arrived, and the weather is starting to cool off, which means that everyone is becoming more active. Which character chose the most pleasant autumn activity to keep busy with?"

Iris was making bread but her hands are small and it’s difficult for her to knead the dough, so she asked for Ryuunosuke’s help. She wanted to make enough to hand out to Gina and all the other homeless children in the East End, so she made a massive amount and Ryuunosuke was stuck kneading this massive mountain of bread dough all day. Apparently he became such a expert at kneading that he could be a baker now.

Asougi was practicing with his sword, slicing autumn-colored ginko leaves as they fell from the tree. He cut so many leaves, though, that he ended up making a big mess on the ground, the number of fallen leaves now having increased, and it took him a long time to clean it all up.    

Sherlock: Ryuunosuke told him that he was making anpan (bread filled with sweet red bean paste, the bane of my Asian-dwelling existance) and asked Sherlock to help by being in charge of getting the poppy seeds they’d need to sprinkle on top, so Sherlock went out and gathered a ton of poppy seeds. In fact, he got so many of them that no one knew what to do with them all cuz they had a huge amount of leftovers. Sherlock said, “Well, they’re only the size of poppy seeds! Surely you two can deal with them somehow! Ahahaha!” and Iris scolded him.   

(I couldn’t capture it in English, but Sherlock’s line contained a pun, and a pretty stupid one at that, so that’s part of why he got scolded)

It’s grape harvesting season, so Van Zieks commutes to the winery regularly to direct the production of the contents for his “Lord’s Bottle.” He demands perfection in everything from the selection of the grapes to the way they’re squeezed, and the winery staff is terrified by the “grim reaper’s” gaze and heel swinging (i.e. the leg thing he does in court) so they grumble as they work. 

"Hearing that there’s a holiday in the West called Halloween, the people involved with the court in Japan decided to try it out themselves. Naturally Halloween is a big deal in England as well. So, which member of the DGS cast had the best celebration?"

Team Ryuunosuke and Asougi- Asougi got Naruhodo up on his shoulders and they draped a white sheet over themselves to make a ghost costume. They went out like that, but Naruhodo had such exaggerated reactions to the fear of the people who saw them and to bumping his head on tree branches that they ended up losing their balance and falling on top of each other?!   

Sherlock Holmes- went wearing a horse’s head mask. Iris used her skills to make it a fancy horse covered in stars, but the eye holes weren’t well made and he had to wander around blindly. Because of that he tripped hard over a pile of coal! He ended up getting so dirty that the stars on his costume were covered up!

Van Zieks- took inspiration from his nickname and dressed up as the grim reaper. He covered himself up with a skeleton mask and hood figuring no one would know it was him. Unfortunately he got angry when he saw Megundal (McGilded) pass by and started throwing bottles and glasses and ended up giving himself away.

"November has arrived, and autumn is nearing its end. However, the DGS cast is still keeping busy, even on their days off. Which character chose the most interesting way to spend their late autumn day?"

Ryuunosuke- Thinking that he’d better learn more about British culture if he was going to be a defense attorney in Britain, he went down to the East End with Gina for a little observation. However, because an Asian like him stood out so much, he got mobbed by the other children. On top of it all, his arm band got stolen from him and he had to send a replacement request to Yumei University on the other side of the ocean.

Asougi- He went for a meal at La Quantas. The customer at a nearby table got a persimmon for dessert and scarfed it down, saying “Mm! This is it! This sweetness makes it worthy of being called a treasure among foods!” Asougi tried to comment on this by saying, “The customer at that table sure is enjoying his pershim--gak!” but he may or may not have accidentally bitten his tongue in the process and been unable to finish his sentence.

Iris- She accepted Ryuunosuke’s request to learn more about British culture and prepared a bagpipe and kilt costume for him. “This outfit sure is breezy,” Ryuunosuke said shyly upon trying it on. With Ryuunosuke now dressed, he, Iris, and the others from their office headed over to Gregson’s place to get him to treat them to some fish and chips.   

Sherlock- He accepted Ryuunosuke’s request to learn more about British culture and cooked up some European style curry for dinner. Thanks to the fact that his secret ingredient was a large amount of Chinese herbal medicine style spice, it caused some strange side effects and Ryuunosuke, who’d eaten it, ended up passing out and falling over.

“Another taxing trial for Ryuunosuke has finished and now it’s December. As the year draws to a close, which character acts the strangest?”

Ryuunosuke- he was recruited to help with snow removal around Yumei University and the courthouse and he enthusiastically began his task with the help of a large shovel. He got a little carried away, though, and ended up accidentally burying his umbrella, which he’d left propped up against the side of the building, in the snow he’d just finished shoveling.  He had no choice but to share Asougi’s umbrella on the way home.

Asougi- On the way home, he nods silently to Ryuunosuke’s question of whether he’d finished his travel preparations and changes the subject: “...Come to think of it, it seems that tomorrow is celebrated in the West as God’s birthday.” “I’ve heard that they eat chicken as part of the traditional celebration. Wanna try it?” Ryuunosuke asks invitingly. Asougi is strongly opposed to that particular menu item, however, and they end up going out for their usual beef stew that night instead.           

Susato- in addition to her year-end travel preparations, she also was busy with straightening up the book room in her home. She managed to get the law books in order when she suddenly stumbled upon some old issues of Strand Magazine! She hurried through the rest of her cleaning, then began flipping through the magazines she’d found, trying to decide which to take with her on her trip. She accidentally lost herself in her reading and didn’t realize it until it was already the middle of the night.

Sherlock- he was in the middle of a long ship voyage when Christmas night came. His mind on his partner in a far-off country, he made a toast alone on deck, when suddenly the crew began shooting off fireworks with a cry of “Merry Christmas!” Sherlock had to dart back and forth across the deck to prevent the fireworks from hitting him and setting off the explosive chemicals he carries with him.

Main series edition

[kaeldra]

六 (Six)

Summary: The Wizard is skilled in many fields, but the domain of growing and raising things almost solely belongs to Hikari. Even so, he gives it a shot for her sake and the results are... not quite what he had hoped. She loves him anyway.

Another entry in the Hikari and the Wizard: A Hundred Words series! Once again it is very very late, but what can you do. Also once again it is very very out of order, but I do not care. Enjoy!

This fic can also be read on Ao3!

As wide as the scope of the Wizard’s skills is, he is not particularly adept at growing things.

It’s a bit ironic, considering he’s married to a farmer. He understands the principles, of course, and gets to see Hikari’s methods first-hand. She has such success with her various crops, and so he takes diligent notes. He pays close attention to the temperature of the soil when she plants the seeds, how much water she gives each seedling, and the exact shade of the fruits when she deems them ready for harvest. It’s a bit frustrating when he asks her how she knows all of these things and all she can do is shrug, telling him it “just feels right” with an apologetic smile. He supposes that this is Hikari’s own type of magic, one that he may never understand.

That doesn’t stop him from trying, though.

She pours her soul into her farm, and while he does his best to assist her by collecting eggs or pulling stray weeds he finds in the plots, his efforts pale in comparison to hers. Of course he knows that he will never be able to match her in farming ability, but he wants to make a gesture for her in her own language, so to speak. And so he hatches a plan to secretly grow an assorted bouquet of her favourite flowers and give them to her as a gift.

The Wizard realizes he’s lucky that he occasionally goes down to Marimba Farm to buy Hikari’s seeds as he’s walking there one sunny afternoon. No one blinks an eye as he makes his way across the river and into the shop, exchanging a few simple pleasantries with Ruth before stepping back out and realizing that he doesn’t know where he’s going to plant them. Certainly nowhere around their home -- Hikari knows every inch of her farm by heart, and she’ll immediately notice the turned earth where he’s planted them, let alone when they start growing.

Perhaps he can go back inside and ask Ruth if he can rent a small plot of their land to grow them on? He quickly dismisses the idea, knowing that if he does he risks someone seeing him tending to the flowers and telling Hikari before he’s had a chance to give them to her. He’s not sure if he could be charming enough to convince the sharp-tongued farmer anyway; she’s kind enough to him when he comes by on errands for his wife but it’s clear that she would prefer Hikari’s company any day.

So he goes to the only other place he can think of: the depths of Fugue Forest. While he still doesn’t exactly enjoy the Witch’s company, he can admit that they have come to a sort of understanding in which they tolerate each other’s presence for Hikari’s sake. Ever since she had rescued her from her unfortunate amphibian state and subsequently brought her assorted blackberry sweets, the Witch has developed a bit of a soft spot for the young farmer. She just happens to think she has poor taste in men.

When the Wizard finally shows up on the Witch’s doorstep (having collected a Fugue mushroom on his way to give her, just for good measure) and explains his situation, the hag has the audacity to start laughing. Absolutely cackling. He stares at her with an unimpressed glower, and she finally replies as she gets her breath back in gasps.

“You? Grow flowers? In my garden, of all places? I mean, I know you’re still all googly-eyed over her, but this is just too good,” she lets out another giggle, wiping a stray tear from her eye. “I never thought I’d see the day you’d willingly get dirt all over yourself, and for a girl no less.”

The Wizard sighs, supposing she’s a tiny bit right. If someone had told him a few years ago that this is what he would be doing today, he would have suspected a head injury. Even so, he can’t let her have the satisfaction. He simply levels a steely gaze at her.

“You didn’t... answer my question. Can I use your garden... or not?”

The Witch shrieks another laugh as if he’s said the funniest thing she can imagine, and the Wizard winces at the volume.

“You’re serious! You’re actually serious!” She slaps her leg in amusement. “Sure, fill your boots! It’s not like I use it much, and it’ll be hilarious watching you get yourself all muddy trying to care for the things. As long as you don’t expect me to do anything,” she adds with another snicker.

And so the Wizard begins making daily trips through the forest to the Witch’s house. Again, he thanks the Goddess for his good luck that the forest is not an unusual place for him to be and it doesn’t cause any suspicion on Hikari’s part. He does wish he didn’t have to deal with the Witch herself -- whenever he visits to care for the little seedlings, he can feel her amused gaze on him from her kitchen window, and occasionally she’ll even lean out and heckle him before going back to whatever it is she does all day -- but all things considered, it’s not so bad.

That is, until he notices the seedlings are starting to die off.He had originally purchased a rather large amount of seeds, causing the witch to cackle at him again when she saw just how carried away he had gotten.

“You’ll have more than a bouquet with that many seeds! You can start your own flower shop instead of telling fortunes!” She had squealed before devolving into another fit of giggles.

But now he’s starting to worry if he’ll be able to pull together enough blossoms to give Hikari at all. It seems every day there are fewer and fewer plants left, and he feels a pang of dismay every time he has to pull up a withered set of leaves.

After weeks of careful tending, he’s left with just a handful of sad-looking flowers. He counts them as he plucks them gingerly from their stems, doing his best not to damage them. Six. He managed to grow six flowers out of the dozens of seeds he bought. It’s definitely not what he had hoped for, but he still wants to give her something and he figures it’s too late in the season to start more seeds now.

He carries the little bundle home, half wondering if he should just give up entirely and find a different sort of gift. Standing outside their front door, he runs through a list of possibilities. He could cook her a nice dinner. He thinks he remembers her mentioning some new calves she saw at Horn Ranch the other day, and considers asking Cain if he’d be willing to sell one. But before he can settle on an alternative, the door opens and warm light spills out into the evening air.

“There you are! I was getting worried when you hadn’t come home,” Hikari says, relief evident in her tone. Her eyes drop to his attempted bouquet, then bounce back up to meet his own startled gaze, full of questions. “What’s this?”

The Wizard rubs a hand on the back of his neck, suddenly bashful. He feels like a child presenting his mother with a piece of macaroni artwork.

“These are... for you. I tried to grow them myself, but they aren’t... as beautiful as I hoped. I hope you like them... anyway.”

Hikari’s face breaks into a blazing smile, and she reaches forward to take the offered flowers. Before he can so much as blink she’s scrambling around in the cupboards for an appropriate vase.

“You grew these on your own? They’re plenty beautiful, I love them. Thank you,” she kisses him softly before turning back to her task of arranging them.

Somehow, her deft hands manage to make the six little blooms look purposefully minimalistic in their vase. They sit proudly on the kitchen table, and Hikari admires them with glowing eyes.

“I never knew you had such a green thumb,” she says later, tucked into his side on the couch. “Maybe I should get you to help me with growing my flowers next season.”

He knows she’s joking, that she doesn’t expect him to actually take her up on it. But he finds himself attracted to the idea. Caring for the little plants was relaxing, in its own way, and of course he’ll use any excuse he can to spend time with her. Even having been married for a few seasons now, that impulse hasn’t gone anywhere.

He squeezes her close, feeling content despite his fumbled attempt at a gift.

“That... sounds lovely.”

[solar-pxwered]

A List Of Norman Reedus Movies/Shows I Have Seen And My Opinions On Them

1. The Boondock Saints

The Best. A classic. Bloody and inappropriate and if I remember my count correctly, contains 194 “fucks” or variations of it (this movie certainly illustrates the diversity of the word). Terrible Irish accents. A KICKASS soundtrack. Willem DeFoe crossdressing. Dropping toilets on people’s heads. Over the top action sequences. Cheesy dialogue. Campy as fuck. I freakin’ love it.

2. The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Some people didn’t like this one as much as the first one, and I admit that I wasn’t as fond of the new detective in this one as I was of Smecker...but, overall, I really enjoyed it and I drove 2 hours to see it in theaters. I love Romeo more than Rocco. The humor was on point. It was nice to see the original actors for Doc, Dolly, Duffy and Greenley. There was more terrible Irish accents, another KICKASS soundtrack, cheesy dialogue, over the top action sequences, still campy as fuck. I freaking love it.

3. The Walking Dead

Cannot even describe how much I love this show. I have ALWAYS loved zombie related shows and movies so this show was right up my alley from the very beginning all the way back in 2010. I watched it religiously every Sunday. I adore this roller coaster ride of a show and I especially adore Daryl, Carol and Jerry. This show has it all: Comedy, drama (hella lots of that), tragedy and triumph...and it never fails to pulls me in and hold my interest.

4. Mimic

Honestly, I saw this a LONG time ago and I hated it because...well, because I have a cockroach phobia, ok?! Don’t judge. Norman’s part was pretty small, not one of his lasting impressions on me.

5. Six Ways To Sunday

This is a weird one. It’s about an overly innocent 18 year (played by Norman) who gets involved in the Mob and develops an alter ego that’s violent and his complete opposite. There’s murder, prostitutes and good ol’ fashioned mother-son incest and it wasn’t a movie I suggest for the lighthearted or anyone with those sort of triggers. 

That being said, I watched the whole thing and didn’t hate it. It was just uncomfortable...as seems to be a theme with Norman Reedus movies.

6. Dark Harbor

This fucking movie...

Ok, so, I’ll be straight with you: I really enjoyed this dumbass movie. It had me guessing right up to the very end and it took me on a very strange ride along the way. 

If watching someone sexually feed a woman a poisonous mushroom, lots of dark eyed staring scenes or Norman Reedus making out with Alan Rickman is your thing, then go for it. 

7. Let the Devil Wear Black

It’s modern Hamlet. What else is there to say? If you like Hamlet, you’ll like this movie. If you like pre-car accident, baby face Reedus with the black hair, you’ll like this movie. I liked it.

8. 8MM

You know what the best thing about this movie is? Nicholas Cage. He steals the damn show no matter what movie he’s in and no one can even deny that fact. Norman’s part in this one is pretty small too but I liked this movie anyway because...well, Nick Cage. Enough said.

9. Bad Seed

I honestly can’t remember how this movie ends, all I remember was that it wasn’t at all how I expected it. I liked this movie because it’s a psychological thriller and that’s my most favorite genre of all time. The movie’s premise is a guy suspects his wife of having an affair and comes home one night and finds her murdered so he goes after her lover (Reedus) to try and kill him because he believes he was the one who killed her. It’s a cat and mouse chase sort of thing...now I need to rewatch it because I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it ends.

10. Gossip

Ok, no JOKE, this is the best movie I ever randomly discovered and I can’t believe how many people have never heard of it! It’s got some big names in it (Lena Headey, Norman Reedus, James Marsden and Kate Hudson to name a few).

It’s a psychological thriller/mystery drama in which three friends start a rumor at their school as a social experiment for their class. The rumor grows, however, and suddenly it’s out of their hands and spiraling out of control. People start getting hurt, reputations get dragged through the mud and then it escalates to the point of someone losing their life. The three main characters {Reedus, Headey and Marsden) try to figure out the truth behind the out of control rumors and discover more than they ever imagined, or ever wanted.

I HIGHLY recommend this movie. I really, REALLY do. The ending is one of the best twists I’ve seen in a LONG time.

11. The Beatnicks

This movie is so weird. It’s like...it’s just really weird. It revolves around two beat poets who find a magic box that somehow magically helps them get good at being poets but it’s like...an evil box and so they decide to only use it once and then get rid of it. Yeah, it’s a weird movie. Not my highest suggestion.

12. Blade II

Ok, if you’ve never seen the Blade Trilogy then I just don’t even know what to tell you. 

My favorite of the three movies, Blade 2 gives us the glorious Reedus character of Scud, the pot smoking, horrible-shirt-wearing, mechanical genius and Blade’s sidekick. Not only is he precious and adorable, the movie in all is enjoyable and has a fun rave-esque soundtrack. 

The one thing I hate? *SPOILER ALERT* Scud’s scummy betrayal.

13. Tough Luck

This is another one of those movies that I liked but it’s just so freaking weird. 

It’s a psychological drama where a down on his luck con artist, Archie (Reedus), tries to rip off a carnival worker and gets caught. As punishment, he’s hired to work at the carnival  to pay off the debt. He gets involved in a scheme to murder the owner’s wife, but falls in love with her in the process.

Things go to shit. He gets the short end of the stick. More plots and lies develop. It’s all twisted until the end and the answers fall into place.

I really like this movie, it’s one that I kept and still have my copy of. 

A word of warning though, never leave this movie on your movie shelf for your father to find and watch while you’re away at college, resulting in your mother calling you and asking you why you have such a nasty movie. Because the sex scene at the end is OUTRAGEOUS. I mean, it is the FUNNIEST fucking sex scene I have ever seen in my life and I can’t ever watch it without cringing and laughing. My mother, however, didn’t think it was funny at all and my father was too shocked to even form a sentence.

I highly suggest this trippy as hell movie.

14. Octane

Ok, to be fair, this movie is actually alright, although Norman’s character gets the shittiest death possible. I mean, imagine dying because some psycho vampire kisses you and bites your tongue out. That’s one shitty death.

But, overall, this is a good thriller. Johnathan Rhys Meyers plays the villain and he’s always pretty quality. The story is basically a teenager has a disagreement with her mom and gets picked up by this drugged up, blood sucking, vampire wannabe cult and indoctrinated joining them. Her mother joins up with a tow truck driver (Reedus) whose daughter was also kidnapped years ago and who has been hunting the cult down ever since. 

It was a cringe filled, yet interesting, movie and I didn’t hate it.

15. John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns

This is John Carpenter....OF COURSE I liked this one. 

I won’t say what it’s about because that would ruin the story, but it’s part of an anthology and John Carpenter loved Norman’s role so much he STILL talks about it today and suggests Norman to people in the industry.

It’s a good one if you’re into horror shorts or anthologies or the genius of the legend that is John Carpenter.

16. A Crime

I had completely forgotten about this movie until I started making this post, but now that I remember...I REALLY liked this one!!

This is a pretty sad one, but it was very good and Norman’s acting in it is absolutely wonderful. His character’s wife was murdered and the suspect was never found so his neighbor, who really likes him, creates a fake culprit so that he can finally get some closure. 

This is a good one. I suggest this one if you’re in the mood for a strange sort of romance movie that has underlying thriller tones.

17. Moscow Chill

I remember watching this one, and I remember enjoying it, but I honestly can’t remember anything about it except that it’s a Russian film in which Norman plays a computer hacker who gets hired to hack into a Russian bank and gets caught and put in prison. But I honestly can’t remember what happens in detail.

If you like foreign movies with hacking and subterfuge plots, then give it a try because I do remember enjoying it while I watched.

18. Red Canyon

This one is kinda fucked up. Imagine Daryl Dixon mixed with Breaking Bad mixed with Deliverance and you’ve pretty much got the story...

A brother and sister return to their mother’s hometown to settle things and put their horrible past behind them...but upon returning they end up reliving the nightmare all over again.

It’s a good thriller/horror watch, but there are scenes of sexual violence so if that’s not something you can handle, then don’t watch this one.

19. Hero Wanted

This. Is. A. GOOD. Movie.

Cuba Gooding Jr. is the lead and he does an AMAZING job. Gooding’s character is a garbage man who falls in love with a girl who never takes any notice of him. To get her attention, he stages a heist in which he is supposed to jump in, save the day, and win the girl...only the heist turns out to be real and he is shot and the girl is also shot in the process. He sets out for revenge and gets in way over his head.

Norman’s part in this isn’t very big...but HOLY SHIT, was it impactful. His character didn’t have a lot of screen time, in comparison to a lot of other people, but he had a solid backstory and reason for being involved and MY GOD did I cry about it. This was actually the first movie of his I watched AFTER discovering Boondock Saints and it solidified my love for his acting abilities.

A very good watch. Highly suggest.

20. Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

This one is pretty ok, actually, as far as lame horror movies go. 

The plot is simple: Blonde, beardy, corn farmer Norman gets slowly driven insane by the haunted scarecrow in his field that he thinks putting up is a good idea for some damn reason. He starts to get more and more violent and rapey as time goes on until his family is forced to take up arms against him.

It’s not bad. Second part in what I THINK is a trilogy? I’ve only ever seen the first two. If you like horror movies then this one is a good watch. As I mentioned though, there is an attempted rape scene in this one so just be aware.

21: Pandorum

It’s an alien movie. Astronauts run into a species that is stronger and hungry for tasty humans. Shepard (Norman’s character) doesn’t make it out alive. If you’re not in the mood to see Norman get LITERALLY gutted or other characters get nommed by aliens, then don’t watch.

If you ARE, then go ahead and watch, because it was pretty alright.

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

History Asks: 2, 3, 7, 8, 19, 29, & 61, please!

Hi! This is late I’m so sorry!

2: Favorite underrated historical figure?

Julie D’Aubigny! Click the link to read about her bisexual dueling antics.

3: Funniest historical kerfuffle?

All the ways the CIA and others tried to assassinate Fidel Castro. Here is a link to the wikipedia page because it’s so fucking wild. One time he was at a hotel and put his shoes outside the door to be polished and they put hair loss powder in his shoes thinking it would make his mustache fall out and no one would respect him anymore.

7: Which time period would you like to live in?

I’m taking this as completely ideally, barring lack of medical knowledge or misogyny or homophobia etc. So either late Victorian England or oh just please take me back to the revolutionary war.

8: Favorite tv show based on historical events, but not really faithful to real life?

My top 4 are Outlander, Black Sails, TURN: Washington’s Spies, and Ripper Street.

19: If you could travel back in time and kill anyone, who would it be?

Listen I’m not a fan of these questions when people are like “I’d kill Hitler” etc. bc butterfly effect, BUT

The British officer who shot John Laurens can CATCH THESE MF HANDS

29: Rant about your favorite topic.

Ohhhhh I don’t know if you’re ready for this. I have so many favorite topics. so here’s what I’m gonna do. Remember the other history ask I answered with the question about the presidential assassinations? I had spent an hour and a half writing a whole thing about the background of Lincoln’s assassination before I realized it wasn’t needed in order to answer the question about the repercussions. So here’s that plus the thing about the repercussions that I was leading into.

“ John Wilkes Booth was a well-known confederate sympathizer, and though he himself never joined the confederate army, he had many contacts within the disastrously put together confederate government and secret service. Since 1864, Booth had been forming a plan similar to one put forth by Confederate Secret Service member and Virginia Tech president Thomas Nelson Conrad. A plan to kidnap Union President Abraham Lincoln. Conrad’s plan was approved and they sent a team of men after Lincoln, but the mission was soon abandoned because Lincoln’s security was too tight. Unlike Conrad’s plan, Booth’s was to get the president at a moment of vulnerability outside the White House - and to kidnap key members of his cabinet as well, ransoming them for Confederate prisoners. However, after seeing an April 11th speech in which Lincoln promoted giving Blacks the right to vote, Booth decided to assassinate him instead. The next day, April 12th, the Union victory over Richmond and the Confederate army’s surrender was announced, making kidnapping a moot point anyway. On the morning of April 14th, Booth went to get his mail at Ford’s Theatre, where he was an occasional stage actor, and the owner’s brother started bragging to him that Lincoln and his wife would be attending a play there that night. He knew it was the best chance he had, and he arranged for a getaway horse to be waiting for him, and for his co-conspirators to assassinate Vice President Andrew Johnson and Secretary of State William Seward at their respective homes. By targeting Lincoln and the next two successors to the presidency, it’s clear that Booth intended to chop the heads off the Union government, throwing it from post-war victory into chaos, giving the Confederates a chance to reorganize and rally their remaining forces. Union Commander in Chief Ulysses Grant was supposed to attend the play as well, but he and his wife decided last minute to visit relatives instead. At 10:14 that night, during the second act of the play, Booth snuck into the presidential box and shot Lincoln in the back of the head. His escape was cut off by the man who had come in Grant’s stead - Major Henry Rathbone. Booth stabbed him, jumped over the balcony to the stage, and raised his knife, yelling “Sic Semper Tyrannis.” (Thus Always to Tyrants, which Brutus is alleged to have said after killing Caesar. Also the state motto of Virginia.) Then he and his co-conspirators ran, having failed to kill Johnson and Seward. (The guy supposed to kill Seward only managed to non-fatally stab him, DESPITE THE FACT THAT SEWARD WAS BEDRIDDEN BECAUSE OF A CARRIAGE ACCIDENT. The guy who was supposed to kill Johnson chickened out and got drunk instead. Which sucks because...well, you’ll see.) Lincoln died just after seven the next morning. The secret service and Union army caught up to him and the others and killed booth. The eight other conspirators were sentenced to life in prison. Then Johnson was sworn in as president. 17th president Andrew Johnson is regarded as one of the worst presidents in history, and is one of 3 presidents to be impeached - the only one who actually left office as a result. He had an anti-black stance that went against everything Lincoln stood for, opposing the 14th amendment and every other bill that would grant civil rights to freed slaves. Back then, the rule was still that the runner-up in the presidential race was VP, so the President and VP were opposing parties, which is actually smart and kept power from becoming too imbalanced and corrupt in either direction. The stances of the parties were essentially the opposite of what they are now, as well, so Lincoln as a Republican was far more liberal than Johnson. Southern states rejoining the union re-elected many of their old leaders and the strong rights of individual states that fanned the early flames of the war allowed them to pass anti-black laws that deprived freed slaves in their individual states of the rights to which the Emancipation Proclamation entitled them. Congressional Republicans (read: liberals) who still held the majority, refused to accept senators from those states, and wrote legislation to overrule them. Johnson vetoed them all, and Republican (read: liberal) congress overruled him right back, and this pattern went on for the rest of the administration. Sound familiar, anybody? So much of his cabinet spoke out against him and he fired so many of them that Congress restricted his ability to fire people. He continued trying to impeach the Secretary of War who had put out a reward for Booth’s capture, electing to go down causing as much chaos as he could, and was impeached as a result. Essentially, if Lincoln hadn’t been killed, Johnson would never have been president, and the transition from war to reconstruction wouldn’t have been as awful as it was. Congress wouldn’t have been distracted by Johnson’s antics and would have been able to focus on sending aid to suffering rural areas and rebuilding the country. The lack of aid to rural areas gave an upper hand to urban areas, hence, companies. This is when corporations started to get their foot in the door and tip the scales in favor of higher populated areas/more wealthy areas. So “democratic-republicanism” which favored stronger states rights instead of central government, because they thought it would be “better for farmers and rural communities,” actually led to the alienation and starving out of farmers and rural communities. Hmm, almost like it was never a valid stance to begin with. The Democratic Republicans, back in the Hamilton-era days, weren’t even a proper political party. They had to scramble for a stance that made sense, because they were originally called the Anti-federalists, and their ONLY stance was to oppose the Federalists because they (Thomas Jefferson mainly) hated Hamilton. BUT THAT IS ITS OWN RANT. Anyway. We are still in the Reconstruction period. If it weren’t for Booth, it’s likely that we would have made it further than this.” END RANT

61: Favorite ancient civilization?

Oh I am such a sucker for the Greeks.

THANKS FOR THIS AND SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE A WEEK TO GET TO IT.

[aridara]

Fun times: that literal motherfucker of @hominishostilis wrote a response to a post that I made all the way back in 2017. Except that I discovered it just now, because he blocked me a long time ago because I dared to point out that he defended literal Nazis.

Anyway, since I hate him, here’s my reply to him.

1) You’re lying, lol. Not only did you call basically anything “repetition” without actually making any sort of argument, but you also called basically anything “false” without actually making …. any sort of argument.

This is completely false, by the way. For example, Hominishostilis claimed that me calling Richard Spencer “the father of the alt-right” was the funniest thing they ever heard anyone call Spencer. In response, I...

Linked to Wikipedia’s page about Richard Spencer, which describes his views in detail.

Linked to Wikipedia’s page about the Alt-Right movement, which explains where the movement came from and specifically cites Spencer’s webzine “The Alternative Right” as one of the sources of the movement.

I pointed out that Spencer was the one who coined the term “alt-right”.

I pointed out that Spencer is a speaker and organizer of many alt-right meetings.

I pointed out that Spencer promotes the same ideals as the alt-right.

I pointed out that a good chunk of alt-righters looks at Spencer as a leader.

This is NOWHERE near “calling basically anything “repetition” without actually making any sort of argument”, or near “calling basically anything “false” without actually making any sort of argument”.

Kind of like when you ignored huge swathes of things that factually proved you wrong in leu of presenting any actual rebuttal to them.

Note how Hominishostilis will never - and I mean NEVER - actually mention one single thing that 1) was supposed to factually prove me wrong and 2) I ignored without presenting any rebuttal.

2) It’s my post, on my blog - why would I need to link to it?

This requires some context.

You see, in this post, I answered one of Hominishostilis’ posts... without reblogging said post, because Hominis’ post was utter shit, and I didn’t want that shit on my blog. However, I always quoted the bits that I was addressing, without altering them; most importantly, at the beginning of my post, I placed a link to Hominis’ post. That way, if someone wanted to see Hominis’ post in full (for example, to see if I represented his post accurately, or if instead I deliberately omitted important stuff from his post), they could’ve done so.

Hominishostilis threw a shitfit, as you can see in this thread. He claimed that I edited his reply (I did not), then smashed what’s left together, out of context, as some kind of “gotcha” (it wasn’t a “gotcha”). He claimed that I cut out HUGE sections of his argument (because they were useless repetition), snapped up the quotes I figured I could use to misrepresent his argument (I represented his argument accurately), and then blocked him so that he couldn’t even reply (HE was the one who blocked ME). He also claimed that I was wrong to not reblog his post, because apparently I knew that lazy people would just read my response and agree with me (this doesn’t explain why I linked to Hominishostilis’ full post...).

The hypocrisy comes from the fact that not only Hominishostilis did NOT reblog my post; but, unlike me, he didn’t quote anything from the post that he was responding to, and didn’t link to the post he was responding to.

3) You literally can’t prove that, but you continually assert it as some kind of fact.

This refers to my claim that Trump is a fucking bigot. And yes, I did prove it. I asserted it as some kind of fact because it IS a fact.

You present it as a black/white situation while ALSO asserting there’s no other options besides the ones you present,...

That’s because there literally weren’t any options. Trump is a bigot; that is an undeniable fact. People who voted for him either knew that fact, or not; in the former case, they either considered Trump’s bigotry a positive trait, or a negative one. There are no other options. If you voted for Trump, the only possibilities are:

You didn’t knew that Trump was a bigot. You voted for him.

You knew that Trump was a bigot, and considered it a positive quality. You voted for him.

You knew that Trump was a bigot, and considered it a negative quality. You voted for him anyway.

...and that “by all evidence Hillary would have been better” - another assertion you can’t prove, lol.

Note that he never proved that Hillary would’ve been worse.

4) Bigotry “literally” doesn’t kill people.

This claim is completely and utterly absurd, not to mention contrary to all evidence and reason.

It’s also not an excuse to assault people because you *think* they might *eventually* hurt someone.

Yes, it is. If you have reason to believe that someone will harm other people, you’re allowed to act to stop them. It’s that easy.

What people label “hate speech” and “bigotry” has also been stretched over opinions that aren’t even hateful.

This is hilarious, considering that he constantly defends bigotry.

That’s the point you keep conveniently ignoring - you’re still pretending that only the most evil of evil people are the ones being attacked when it’s not. You’ve ignored all evidence of this and dismissed it because that would require you to think critically for two seconds.

No, I did not ignore that. However, I know the following:

One: only a relatively small minority of people on the left attacks inncoent people for no reason.

Two: Hominishostilis is an unreliable narrator. He actively defends neo-Nazis and denies that they did anything wrong. When people correctly called the neo-Nazis at Charlottesville “Nazis”, Hominis falsely claimed that they called innocent non-Nazi people “Nazis”. So, his word isn’t valid evidence. This means that, when he claims that we’re attacking innocent people, we cannot accept his word as evidence.

5) http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Trump+supporter+set+on+fire , you are a moron.

Hominishostilis is trying to rewrite what happened. The context is that he linked me to a video, claiming that it showed “Trump protesters literally sett[ing] a Trump supporter on fire”. I pointed out (correctly) that the video did NOT show what he claimed.

6) He really isn’t. I explained that rather thoroughly, but you again chose to ignore that whole argument and circle back to your “well he DOES STUFF VAGUELY LIKE NAZIS!!”,...

This is false, by the way. Both the claim that Spencer is not a Nazi, the claim that I ignored his “arguments”, and the claim that my arguments bioled down to “well, he does stuff vaguely like Nazis”.

then accused me of “defending him” (LOL) He’s a white nationalist, he’s a racist, but he’s still not a “Nazi”. You’re the New McCarthyists, but instead of The Red Menace it’s “errebody is a NAZI!” Not every racist nationalist is a Nazi.

Presented without comment.

7) Addressed this - it’s not just “Nazis” being attacked, it’s not even mostly “Nazis” being attacked. It’s mostly ordinary people, fellow leftists, and anyone who seems even vaguely conservative these days.

I’m cutting out this bullshit because, besides having been already disproven a million times, there’s the fact that the evidence that he brought to support his claim (his own word)... simply isn’t enough.

8) Nope. Debate them, mock them, show people how indefensible and stupid their arguments are. We’ve gone over this twice now, my guy - it’s not “Nazis” being suppressed.

Blah blah blah, I’m cutting out more bullshit.

Also, fun fact: this entire thing originally started when tumblr user Slimetony wrote: “how dare you advocate violence against people who advocate violence. let them advocate violence in peace. who are you to suppress their right to advocate violence.” Which highlights the hypocrisy of certain people (alt-righters included), who have no problems with bigots advocating violence for no reason; but have big problems with people who advocate for violence against bigots.

Slimetony mocked alt-righters, and showed how indefensible and stupid their arguments are.

Hominishostilis got pissed. He couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t accept the fact that Slimetony highlighted Hominis’ hypocrisy.

9)Until someone acts on it, that’s exactly what they are. They’re just words.

You know, I issued a challenge to all those who claim that hate speech - including advocating in favor of discriminating against / deporting / harming marginalized groups for no reason other that they dare to exist - is protected by “free speech”. The challenge is to:

Find one space (an online community, a country, a political party, an organization...);

Where hate speech (described above) was freely allowed;

Where bigotry did NOT quickly spread within said space, becoming more common and worse as a result.

Literally nobody who tried my challenge has ever succeeded. Ever. Which leads to the following conclusion:

When a space freely allows hate speech, it ALWAYS leads to said bigotry spreading within that space, becoming more common and worse as a result.

So, yes, hate speech, despite being “just words”, leads to violence unless challenged. If challenging it requires fists, I don’t have any problems with it - because it means that said hate speech is quickly leading to causing violence, at which point I’ll have to use my fists anyway.

[nefertiti22002blog]

Fanfiction writer asks

@criminal-minds-fanfiction​ sent out an epic set of 50 questions under this title. (Thank you!) It took awhile, but these were excellent questions, and I enjoyed answering them. (I just reblogged them without answers, in case any of you want to have a go.)

I don’t expect many will want to read all 50 answers, but people who have recently started following me might be interested in the fics I write in the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell fandom (and even those I used to write in the Lord of the Rings fandom).

Fanfiction Writer Asks

Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

52, still going at 68

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

Started out in The Lord of the Rings, writing Gandalf slash. (My fics are available on my old website, “Meddling in the Affairs of Wizards.” Haven’t had time to add them to AO3 yet.) After a seven-year pause, got started again by the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell tv series, after having been a fan of the book for seven years. (Those fics are all on AO3.)

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I have written OCs, but only if they fit into canon, which I try to stick to as much as possible in most cases. (I had to look up “reader inserts.” Never done one.)

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Given my two fandoms, it must be fantasy.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I suppose it would be “From the Ashes a Fire,” a Gandalf/Aragorn romance. I tried to pair Gandalf with as many different guys from the novel as possible, but Aragorn always seemed to most logical lover for the wizard. I think most of my fics up to that point had been practice for that one.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“Service at the Prancing Pony,” which pairs Gandalf and Bob. (Yes, there is a Bob in LOTR.) It was only my second fic, and it’s pretty trivial.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

Evening.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

The challenge of figuring out a fic with explicit content (usually) and keep it true to the original source novel.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

“Thrice Returned” is a multi-chapter novel pairing Gandalf and Frodo. My favorite scene is when Frodo wakes up in Ithilien after the Ring is destroyed and discovers that Gandalf is alive. I always felt that Tolkien should have shown that scene, but he skips over it. Of course, my version is more romantic, which is partly why I like it.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

I don’t recall ever having an alternative ending for a fic in mind. My funniest ending, I think, is in “Mr Norrell’s Breeches.” I had no idea how I was going to end it, and inspiration struck just as I got to the ending. (Usually I know how the story will end, sometimes down to the last exchange of dialogue.)

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yes. In Chapter 8 of “Two Masters in the Darkness” Norrell and Strange summon the new King of Lost-hope (to call it by its old name). I referred to the King as King Stephen, but as one reader pointed out, he wasn’t using that name after the death of the gentleman with the thistle-down hair. I amended the story to be more consistent with that premise.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

It was Gandalf for six years, until I ran out of inspiration. (I just COULD NOT find a way to pair him with Sam.) Since I started writing JS&MN, it has been Mr Norrell. Although I write book-canon, I imagine my Mr Norrell as he is played by Eddie Marsan, who brings such warmth and empathy (and cuteness!) to the role, despite the fact that the screenwriter made him such an inconsistent character. (If he can do the fantastic York Minster magic, why can he not do sea beacons? And so on and on.)

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Generally I don’t write for characters I don’t enjoy. Lady Pole was the hardest; I only did her once.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

Often I do variations on quotations from the book. My favorite title of my own is “One Spell not to discover what My Friend Is doing Presently,” where Mr Strange speaks harshly to Mr Norrell, who casts a spell to make them invisible to each other. I loved writing the farce that resulted.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

I generally do a search for Regency-era names, as with the Misses Whitworth and Bastable in “Mr Norrell, ladies’ man.”

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Often I rely on prompts, but I came up with the idea for “Stark Staring” on my own. It started with a simple premise, that Mr Norrell would get a little tipsy and cast a spell that would allow him (but no one else) to see Mr Strange unclothed. I thought it a pretty feeble idea, but it worked out very well.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

From a fic with the premise that Mr Norrell is (of course) secretly in love with Mr Strange and highly distracted by his pupil’s habit of pursing his lips when he is concentrating on his work. He inadvertently lets slip some indications of his desire when the two are close together looking for a book in the library: “Mr Strange had not failed to notice the man’s gaze directed at his mouth and the faint whimper and the subsequent slight confusion and the heavy breathing and the mere pretense of examining the books when instead Mr Norrell was staring into space and blushing furiously.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Nothing that I carried on beyond a few paragraphs. Just couldn’t find the inspiration to go on.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I would love to continue my “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell” series by taking the two magicians on one of the adventures that are only hinted at at the very end of the novel. I’ve gone so far as to set them up as planning to go to Egypt, but I have not had the time to do the necessary research to figure out a plausible evil spell for them to save someone from. Maybe someday, but I doubt it.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

No.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I am very fond of the JS&MN fics by Predatrix. She also writes Norrell, pairing him with Childermass most often but also with Strange. She sticks less to book-canon than I do, but she has a great imagination when it comes to thinking up magic for the characters to do. I have not got that talent and usually derive the magic, when necessary, from Clarke’s book.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Not really.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Either way. As long as I’m not listening to vocal music with English lyrics, I don’t get distracted.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Love ‘em, though I have written so many by now, and for the same characters, that I kind of dread them.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yes. At the parting (inevitable) of Gandalf and Aragorn at the end of “From the Ashes a Fire” and at the letter Childermass writes to Norrell in Chapter 9, the end of “Two Masters in the Darkness,” after he has been separated from Norrel by the Darkness. Even though my main pairing if Norrell/Strange, I loved writing the relationship between Childermass and Norrell in “Master and Man” and its consequences in “Two Master in the Darkness.”

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

I did an AU version of “Thrice Returned” (the Gandalf/Frodo epic) where instead of being killed by the Balrog, Gandalf survived and went with Frodo and Sam (and Gollum) to Mordor. Figuring out what effects that would have on the rest of the book’s plot was a killer, but I struggled through it and came up with something that someone manages to be sort of book-canon and yet AU at the same time.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Sometimes I do an outline for the multi-chapter fics. Not for the one-offs. In doing “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell,” I had to do an elaborate chart with a chronology of all the things that happened to the two in the Darkness, since I wanted it to be absolute book-canon despite involving events in the final chapter that Clarke barely hints at. The chronology (when was Norrell born? 1765 in my head-canon) is the hardest part, since Clarke is so clear about hers.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

More of the conventions. I just saw a prompt on Library of Moria requesting a Gandalf/Pippin fic, as if it would be something hard! I saw how to do it right away and just launched in.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I think “The Toasts of Venice,” a sequel to “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell” that takes the two magicians to Venice immediately after the last scene in the book, is pretty darn good, but for some reason it got far fewer hits (averaging by chapter) than the original. It has an amusing scene of Strange trying to get Norrell to be a bit less shy about going out of Hurtfew by taking him to a sweets shop.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

I’m rather surprised that “A Book with a Strange Spell upon It” gets more hits than most of my other one-offs, some of which I think are better. But it’s a good story, so the disparity if not odd enough to make me roll my eyes, even a little.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

Having plugged Predatrix’s work already, I’ll say “The Perils of Being a Virgin in Faerie (Together with a Solution Thereto)” by Nothingshire. An excellent premise—that Mr Norrell’s virginity makes him an attractive kidnapping target for Fairies—with delightful humor and genuine affection between the two magicians.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Not apart from the ones in JS&MN that Clarke based on real people.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

So hard to pick, but I really appreciated one I got for my series “Jonathan Stolen & Mr Norrell.” The premise is that after a few years in the Darkness, Jonathan attracts the attention of a beautiful lady fairy who kidnaps him, and Mr Norrell has to get up the courage to rescue him. I was a bit trepidatious about writing a Fairy character, especially given my lack of imagination when it comes to writing magic. But I gave it a try, and one reader made me confident that I had succeeded: “I love Lady Turn-of-Tide! You've pinned down the character of Clarke's fairies exactly: capricious, self-centred, vain, generous and cruel all at once, and utterly incapable of seeing humans as anything but cute playthings. As Strange says, she's a good sort (for a fairy), but I know I wouldn't want to meet her! She was a lot of fun to read about, though.” Yay!

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

There was a troll on tumblr who was lambasting those of us who write really explicit stuff about JS&MN characters. She or he was denouncing a group of us (specifically by our pseudonyms) for ruining Mr Norrell and the others. As if anyone was forcing her/him to read the stuff! Fortunately the fandom sprang to our defense, and I actually got more hits than usual on my latest Norrell fic, “Stark Staring.”

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I’ve run some stories past Predatrix and even collaborated with her, and I’ve done that with past betas.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

I only have one, which I quoted above. It is based on a prompt that requests that Norrell be the top in the sex scene, for a change. That goes against my head-canon, but I shall do my best.

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

Hard to choose, but I guess I would say “The Epic Battle over Mr Norrell,” where Childermass and Lascelles both want Norrell sexually, for different reasons, and they decide to have a contest demonstrating their various skills for a delighted but increasingly frustrated Mr Norrell (since of course they have to start over at each stage of the contest without him coming). Guess who wins!

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

I’ve collaborated with Predatrix, but the sort of stuff we write requires very similar tastes, and I doubt I would find anyone else.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Definitely third, though I have done some first person in letters within the fics.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Only people online.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

I don’t know whether he counts as minor, but I have built up Mr Norrell’s servant Lucas into a fairly major figure in my “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell” fics. He agrees to return to Hurtfew, even in the Darkness (as do some other servants), and he works his way up to essentially replacing Childermass as Norrell and Strange’s Man of Business. I quite like him as a character.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

I’ve never done one.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

Not that I know of.

44) What is the last line you wrote?

I added this to the WIP quoted above, in 17: “The exchange of Jeremy’s Tott’s little monograph, ENGLISH MAGIC, for its mirror had been a thrilling revelation that there was a second genuine practical magician in England.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Like Tolkien, I write what I would like to read. I am a professional writer and love dealing with the English language. It’s fun, and I love reading the results.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

See number 19.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

I fear I cannot come up with a title before starting to write the fic.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

Basically my Norrell/Strange fics are based around the idea that Norrell, who in the book is so boring and dry and selfish, becomes a different person when he’s with Strange. More lively, talkative, and even passionate. That makes writing about these two when they’re finally reunited in the Darkness is such fun. Norrell is transformed into a fascinating character.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

It was called “No Windows,” and it was a LOTR AU in which Gandalf seizes the Ring because he loves Frodo and wants to spare him the agony of carrying the Ring—and naturally he’s corrupted by it. It was a terrific story, but unfortunately the author apparently withdrew from the fandom and deleted the fic. I was lucky to have started with such an excellent fic, since it made me go on and read more and then start writing.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I would say smut, since virtually all of what I’ve written has included very explicit scenes. But I’ve also enjoyed working out the other scenes and making them book-canon. I think I would choose fluff if I could only do one, since I enjoy writing comedy and farce.

[thedramafilesblog-blog]

Appearing before The Dramacourt: Suits (Korea) Episodes 3 and 4

***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

***Disclaimer***: This analysis based on Canadian law. This is also NOT LEGAL ADVICE for anyone and this drama is FICTIONAL.

Issues:

Whether Kang Seok’s tough love attitude actually helps.

Whether using the law to escape gangsters is believable.

Whether witness tampering is a thing.

Whether the meeting before the trial is legit.

Whether you can represent someone if a) they were your previous client and b) opposing counsel is your ex-girlfriend.

Whether the “trial scene” was accurate.

The Rule(s):

Yes.

Sure. If it’s an ideal world.

Yes. But it shouldn’t be.

Yes.

Not really.

Hells No!

Analysis:

RedRosette J: I really really really want to love this drama because a) Hyungsik and b) it’s Suits but it’s getting really really really hard to ignore all the inconsistencies and extra kdrama-ness.

Starting with that whole rooftop thing which was totally ridiculous and unbelievable because most rooftops in really tall buildings are not accessible to like 99.9% of the people in that building due to, well, obvious reasons. Then there was that whole Kang Seok’s ex-girlfriend story line which was totally ridiculous because a) what kind of lawyer has that much free time (she was rock climbing in the middle of a workday), b) she was late to a meeting (oh hells no) and c) she was just annoying. I didn’t really understand the point of her character. Was she the Scotty character who was meant to humanize Kang Seok? Because if that was the case, I didn’t really get that. Sorry.

Seriously you can’t just walk up to rooftops

I like the contrast of her red outfit to the blue buildings

How do you have so much free time?

No seriously. How?

Are you Scotty?

Another one of my complaints is the SERIOUS lack of Da Ham-Kang Seok interaction unlike its US counterpart. I just wish we got a little more banter and flirting between the two. It’s just so much more fun if there was that whole “will they-wont they” thing going on like Harvey and Donna. I know, I know, this is a remake and its adapted from the original so that doesn’t mean that it has to be exactly like the original but come on it is super cute so why not? Speaking of Da Ham, one thing I don’t like is how Geon Woo interacts with her. Unlike with Mike Ross who acknowledges that Donna is way above his level even though she’s an assistant and he’s a “lawyer”, you sort of get a vibe that Da Ham doesn’t have the same sort of power that Donna does and as a result Geon Woo seems to be on a level higher than her (if that even makes sense).

I wish she got more screen time

Its cute but give us more!

We did see more of Ha Yeon (Jessica Pearson) in these episodes and while the actress is doing a great job, I just feel like the character is written with a lot less punch than Jessica Pearson. She doesn’t really stand out on her own as a character to me. Whereas when Jessica Pearson enters a scene, it’s like the other characters automatically diminish because of her presence and charisma. Ha Yeon seems to be lacking that “wow” factor for me.

Her presence is just missing a little something…

The funniest stuff in this episode was the trying to get BeWhy as a client plot. While I appreciate the humour, I just wish that the show had tried with someone a little more realistic. We also got to see more of Geun-Sik being weird and trying to be cool which was funny but overall tbh it fell a bit flat to me.

OMG those hats I can’t even

OMG such a cutie

BeWhy

OMG the cringe is real

More BeWhy

When you successfully poach BeWhy

I realize I’m being overly critical because I’ve seen the original and because the law things bother me but the show is actually pretty good on its own if you haven’t seen the original.

Pretty

Awwwww

When all your coworkers hate you but you still gotta go to work

At least the going into the male/female bathrooms is a running gag in this remake too LOL

Awkward client meetings like

Sorry not feeling the chemistry 

Ugh. Can we not make Jenny a thing in the remake too?

Issue 1: Whether Kang Seok’s tough love attitude actually helps.

RedRosette J: Geon Woo definitely needs someone like Kang Seok in his life for many reasons but mainly because he’s never had a real father figure in his life (that Cheol Soon guy was a terrible older male role model) and he definitely needs someone like Kang Seok to give it to him straight so that he hears the hard things he needs to hear. So while I do think that the tough love stuff helps for someone like Geon Woo who’s always been making the wrong decisions and who is always looking for a way out, I think it has to be done super carefully. If you push someone like Geon Woo too far, the result could turn out badly for him. I think that Kang Seok should be tough on him but not too much. As an aside, because we’ve been seeing so much tough love stuff, there’s been less of the bromancing going on (although I guess some would argue that that is partly bromance). Honestly for me, the bromance just isn’t there.

Maybe tone down the yelling at the poor boy

The fist bump is never gonna happen fam

Issue 2: Whether using the law to escape gangsters is believable.

RedRosette J: I’m sorry but this was completely ridiculous. It was wrong on so many levels. Firstly, there is no way that GANGSTERS with WEAPONS would stand there and let you blackmail them into signing a retainer agreement. Nor would they just stand there and let you destroy their marijuana and walk away unharmed. This was totally unrealistic. I see what the writers were trying to do: use the law to the advantage of rescuing Cheol Soon and getting the gangsters behind bars by blackmailing them into signing a retainer agreement to have the lawyer represent them, but this was perhaps not the best way to go. I mean yea sure if this was an ideal world and if gangsters could be stunned into compliance with your awesome wit and rhetoric rather than by weapons, I see this strategy working but in the real world they would 100% shoot you dead the minute you opened your mouth. Fam. They are GANGSTERS. NOT TODDLERS. It was a tad too cringey and unrealistic even for a kdrama.

What kind of idiotic gangsters are you guys?

When your boss catches you doing dodgy shit on your day off

Issue 3:  Whether witness tampering is a thing.

RedRosette J:  This is totally a thing and people for real do this in real life and its actually an offence punishable by law. So yea, don’t tamper with witnesses. Unless you want to go to jail.

Issue 4: Whether the meeting before the trial is legit.

RedRosette J: Yes this meeting was quite legit. Usually before going to trial, the parties meet to negotiate whatever issues they have. If they can’t decide on a settlement then the issue goes to trial. In some situations there are even mandatory mediation sessions that parties have to attend prior to trial. I’m not exactly sure whether this applies to this particular meeting but in Canada there are pre-trial conferences where parties meet (usually with a Judge presiding) to go over the final issues before the trial and to decide exactly what is getting litigated at trial. This meeting looks more like a negotiation at the initial stages, so yes its legit to that extent.

RedRosette J Aside: One thing that I really liked about these particular divorcing characters was that the viewers weren’t told that the wife was blind until after the end of the proceedings. I really liked this because it didn’t create any prejudice in the minds of the viewer against the wife during the proceedings. She did wear sunglasses throughout except during her meeting with Ha Yeon but nothing was overt about her blindness. I really liked that it was simply an accepted fact that all the characters treated as a status quo.  

Issue 5: Whether you can represent someone if a) they were your previous client and b) opposing counsel is your ex-girlfriend.

RedRosette J: So I’m going to answer this in sections because this pissed me off so much because as I was watching these episodes I was reading the rules of professional conduct for lawyers for the bar exam.

A) In a situation where the opposing party is a former client of yours you cannot represent this particular client because it breaches your duty of confidentiality to your former client (according to our rules at least). There is something about how if that former client provides something in writing that you can represent the new client but I doubt that that would work in this situation. Honestly, this was a bit ridiculous because I’m pretty sure they have the same rules about confidentiality in Korea.

B) It is also not the best situation to have two lawyers who are ex-lovers to be on opposing sides of a proceeding because well, for obvious reasons. I don’t think that it’s a good business decision either because look how Kang Seok was affected by the woman. He was running around like a headless chicken trying to figure out what her end game was and honestly I don’t think he was making rational decisions. If I was Ha Yeon, I would have assigned someone else to that case.

This is a strict No.

Sorry not feeling it.

Questionable morals guys

RedRosette J: Also what was with that awkward kiss? I’m sorry but those two had no chemistry. It was just awkward to watch. Also, I feel bad for this girl’s fiance because she legit slept with Kang Seok while she had a fiance. *shakes head*

Issue 6: Whether the “trial scene” was accurate.

RedRosette J: This was by far the worst scene of these two episodes. Yes it was a dream sequence but still OMG Hells NO! First, when the ex-girlfriend starts making her opening statement to the court, Kang Seok interrupts her and starts asking her questions. *Deep Breaths* OMG. No. You cannot interrupt opposing counsel during opening statements. Wait for your turn. If you did, in reality, the Judge would reprimand you (for being an ass). Second, he doesn’t let her finish and starts talking over her and launches into his own opening statement during which he makes no legal arguments whatsoever, which you cannot do because the whole point of a trial is to make legal arguments and to not talk about your feelings and sing Kumbaya. And thirdly, he starts walking around the court and TURNS HIS BACK TO THE JUDGES during his statement. OMFG DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! YOU CANNOT TURN YOUR BACK ON THE JUDGES!!! In real life, even when you leave the courtroom you have to slightly bow your head first and walk away slowly without making a big show of turning your back to the judges. OMG this shit would not fly in real life . Its totally ridiculous and it wasn’t accurate at all!

Don’t interrupt her dude

Oh Hell No. 

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 3 = MM. Okay. Fine. (Mostly because of how adorbs Hyungsik is)

  File No: Suits (Korea)-EPS-03-and-04 Appearing before The Dramacourt: Suits (Korea) Episodes 3 and 4 ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read 

[aion-rsa]

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2016: #25 – #11

Each year, CBR takes a thoughtful look at the comic book industry’s abundance of offerings and poll the passionate, thoughtful and always-opinionated CBR staff for their rankings of the top comics of the year. Every publisher putting out new comics material in English, regardless of genre or format, is fair game; each individual list is then factored in (all thanks to the power of mathematics and the magic of spreadsheets) to determine the overall Top 100 that will be unveiled on CBR over the course of this week.

2016 was another big year for the Top 100, once again with more than 40 contributors to the list and more than 200 comics nominated. That’s resulted in a typically diverse and sometimes unpredictable field: world-famous superheroes alongside creator-owned works; major publishers sharing space with indie favorites. Of course, even with 100 spots, no list can be an exhaustive collection of every noteworthy piece of work in a year, but the end result of the CBR Top 100 is a wide selection of eclectic comics and graphic novels worthy of attention.

RELATED: CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2016: #50 – #26

On Monday, we started unveiling the list with entries No. 100 to 76, things kept going on Tuesday with 75 -> 51“>No. 75 to 51 and Wednesday with No. 50 to 26. The countdown continues today as we get into the final quarter with No. 25 to 11, and check back later today for the Top 10!

Start perusing the list below, and if you feel so moved, take to Twitter and (politely) discuss your thoughts using the hashtag #CBRTop100. While you’re here, feel free revisit our Top 100 lists from previous years:

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2015

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2014

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2013

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2012

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2011

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2010

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2009

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2008

CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2016: 100 -> 76 | 75 -> 51 | 50 -> 26 | 25 -> 11 | 10 -> 1

25. Rosalie Lightning

Written & Illustrated by Tom Hart

Publisher: St. Martin’s Press

“Rosalie Lightning” is easily the most difficult book of 2016, in terms of subject material. The true life story about how cartoonists Tom Hart and Leela Corman’s daughter Rosalie Lightning unexpectedly died shortly before her second birthday, this exploration of grief, community and the struggle to survive both financially and emotionally is gripping. Hart’s repeated image of the two people adrift on a raft is striking, more so once he himself explains what he realized it meant, and his use of negative space on the page will send chills down your spine.

— CBR Staff Writer Greg McElhatton

Tom Hart’s new book is heartbreaking, and at time almost too painful to read. The book is about the death of his daughter, every parent’s worst nightmare, and details the efforts of him and his wife to survive a find a way through it.

— CBR Staff Writer Alex Dueben

24. Spider-Woman

Written by Dennis Hopeless

Art by Javier Rodriguez, Veronica Fish, Joëlle Jones, Tigh Walker

Publisher: Marvel Comics

Dennis Hopeless took an improbable set-up — Spider-Woman has a baby — and made it work. While similar plot lines have concluded in “it was all a dream” style or ended up sidelining the hero, Hopeless’ series proved there’s a third option. Spider-Woman stayed active and kept kicking ass, all while being a new mother. The series also gave artist Javier Rodriguez room to make his mark and become the talked about talent he was always meant to be. Every issue saw Rodriguez push page layouts in the same forward fashion that Hopeless pushed past tropes.

— CBR Editor Brett White

Post-“Secret Wars,” “Spider-Woman” has done the truly unexpected: it has shifted from from Jessica Drew as curmudgeonly detective to Jessica Drew, working mom. Hopeless and crew have done a truly amazing job of making Jess and her experiences as a new mom feel real, while keeping the superheroing/detective work interesting. It’s a truly impressive balancing act.

— CBR Contributing Writer Charles Paul Hoffman

23. The Art of Charlie Chan Hock Chye

Written & Illustrated by Sonny Liew

Publisher: Pantheon Books

Liew explores the history of Singapore in the second half of the 20th century through the biography of a (fictional) comics creator. The book is almost like a documentary, with interviews with the creator intercut with authentic-looking comics and scrapbook pages. It’s a gripping read and a stylistic tour de force.

— CBR Staff Writer Brigid Alverson

It takes a lot for me to compare someone in comics to my favorite cartoonist Seth, let alone link their work to my favorite book of his (“It’s A Good Life If You Don’t Weaken”), but with “The Art of Charlie Chan Hock Chye,” Sonny Liew has finally delivered a worthy successor. It’s not just that this graphic novel stakes out similar “actual comics history via the story of an imaginary comics artist” territory. “The Art of” sees Liew mastering a variety of cartooning styles, all of which both delight the eye and draw the reader deeper and deeper in to the book’s human story. Add in fascinating layers of Singapore history, and this book is one we’ll be unpacking and learning from for years to come.

— CBR Staff Writer Kiel Phegley

22. The Fix

Written by Nick Spencer

Art by Steve Lieber

Publisher: Image Comics

As crime comics continued to proliferate, none were more audacious, engaging and flat-out funny as collaborators Nick Spencer and Steve Lieber’s (previously of “The Superior Foes of Spider-Man”) deliriously dark take on corruption, greed and sociopathic relationships set against the sunny streets of Los Angeles.

— CBR Staff Writer Scott Huver

After an excellent run on “Superior Foes of Spider-Man,” Spencer and Lieber cemented themselves as one of the premier creative partnerships in comics with “The Fix.” Fleshed out by Ryan Hill’s realistic color palate, the duo crafted a thrilling crime yarn filled hilarious moments that can sit alongside the legendary works of Elmore Leonard and Quentin Tarantino.

— CBR Contributing Writer Tim Webber

21. Omega Men

Written by Tom King

Art by Barnaby Bagenda

Publisher: DC Comics

Though the marquee DC Comics property isn’t even mentioned in the title, King and Bagenda’s “Omega Men” is the greatest Green Lantern story ever told, by such a wide margin there isn’t a meaningful No. 2. An Iraq War parable set in space, the series sees Kyle Rayner kidnapped by a group of terrorists-slash-rebels fighting an oppressive galactic regime. But as Kyle tries to sort out the good guys from the bad, he learns that it’s impossible to save everyone, and that heroic actions do not always have heroic ends.

— CBR Staff Writer Shaun Manning

Tom King and Barnaby Bagenda’s “The Omega Men” came to a triumphant conclusion in 2016, making its temporary stay of execution (to allow King and Bagenda to wrap up their 12-part story) that much more impressive. With its mixture of superhero, science-fiction, political and war genres, there’s a little something for everyone to enjoy, and Bagenda’s storytelling using a 9-panel grid is top-notch. Unflinching in its approach (and body count), “The Omega Men” collected edition needs to be on your bookshelf.

— CBR Staff Writer Greg McElhatton

20. Faith

Written by Jody Houser

Art by Francis Portela, Marguerite Sauvage, Pere Perez, Meghan Hetrick, Colleen Doran

Publisher: Valiant Entertainment

The world doesn’t deserve Faith (or Zephyr), but I sure am glad we’ve got her. Other than “Saga,” I can’t think of another series where I’ve felt this emotionally connected to the main character. Beyond being an utter delight, “Faith” is also right on time, asking questions about heroism and morality that seem ever more important.

— CBR Staff Writer Allison Shoemaker

Why did it take so long to have a truly awesome plus-size superhero? Better yet, her physical appearance never becomes a major plot point. “Faith” is the best of fandom and Internet culture in one package.

— CBR Contributing Writer Beth Bartlett

19. The Legend of Wonder Woman

Written by Renae De Liz

Art by Renae De Liz, Ray Dillon

Publisher: DC Comics

With stunningly beautiful art and a character-focused take on Wonder Woman’s origins in World War II, “The Legend of Wonder Woman” is perfect for fans old and new, young and old. I dare you not to fall in love with Etta Candy, who steals the show whenever she’s on the page.

— CBR Contributing Writer Charles Paul Hoffman

This all-ages take on the mythos of Diana was breathtaking. The art, the story, the addition to Wonder Woman’s legacy was much needed and catered to everyone in the best way. Seriously gorgeous book.

— CBR Contributing Writer Leia Calderon

18. Mockingbird

Written by Chelsea Cain

Art by Kate Niemczyk, Ibrahim Moustafa

Publisher: Marvel Comics

S.H.I.E.L.D. is a huge, world-spanning, sometimes evil, vaguely threatening world organization, but what’s their health plan like? Chelsea Cain and Kate Niemczyk’s “Mockingbird” gets into the daily life of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who has to be constantly prodded with needles and answer annoying questions in between bouts of international espionage. And those bouts of international espionage are exceptional. “Mockingbird” takes many of the tropes and conventions of James Bond and deepens them. Bobbi Morse has a more interesting internal life and relationship set than almost any Bond ever did, and she breaks out of sex dungeons and submarines with the best of them.

— CBR Staff Writer Joe Streckert

“Mockingbird” was one of the funniest books I’ve read this year. I loved the one-shot that Marvel released in 2015 for S.H.I.E.L.D.’s 50th anniversary and this whole series echoes that book’s tone. Chelsea Cain has written a book that humanizes a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to the point that she is extremely relatable. She has a boyfriend — superspy Lance Hunter — she loves Corgis, and she hates doctor’s office check-ups. Bobbi was given a humorous side that was so refreshing to read every week. The title character’s “Ask Me About My Feminist Agenda” shirt is easily the best cover of the year and will live on though cosplayers for years to come.

— CBR Staff Writer Lauren Gallaway

17. Huck

Written by Mark Millar

Art by Rafael Albuquerque

Publisher: Image Comics

Mark Millar’s known for his obtuse and violent stories but no matter what, “Huck,” for me, will always wash the obscenities away. It’s filled with endearment and all the warm, fuzzy sentiment that you’d want your childhood depiction of Superman to be. In an era where even the most earnest of heroes are wrapped in some sort of subterfuge or self-serving plan, Millar designs someone that’s plain lovable. Rafael Albuquerque’s art helps build the innocent aura of the title character and more so, combines with succinct and heartfelt writing on Millar’s behalf, to wrap a story about love, family and one special person’s desire to make the world a better place. We need more heroes like Huck and more stories like this. Cannot wait for the sequel.

— CBR Contributing Writer Renaldo Matadeen

Millar is usually known for his bombastic style, but with this story, he and artist Rafael Albuquerque lay out a simple yet elegant tale of an everyday hero who just wants to help others. Imagine if Clark Kent decided never to leave Smallville, and you’ll get a sense of what I mean.

— CBR Contributing Writer George A. Tramountanas

16. Black Panther

Written by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Art by Brian Stelfreeze, Chris Sprouse

Publisher: Marvel Comics

The more “Black Panther” incorporates familiar elements of the broader Marvel Universe into its monthly adventures, the more Ta-Nehisi Coates seems at home, and having fun in this title. We’re all lucky for that, because when he’s at his best no one is better than Coates at translating sophisticated ideas into piercing and insightful narrative. After a great deal of Wakandan world-building, we are learning more about T’Challa’s place in it, and how he plans to both tackle his adversaries and lead his people. In this story, those issues are inextricably linked, and failure on one front assures failure on the other. How can an elite inspire the downtrodden? How does a superhero politick? This story’s richness of possibilities still stand to rival the riches of Wakanda’s vibranium stores.

— CBR Staff Writer Brendan McGuirk

Coates’ genius here was to apply a healthy modern skepticism to T’Challa’s kingship; Marvel’s genius was to hire Brian Stelfreeze. T’Challa is called on to act kinglier than ever in a Wakanda that looks modern, strong and alive — the democrat’s dream, and the monarch’s fear.

— CBR Staff Writer Marykate Jasper

15. Descender

Written by Jeff Lemire

Art by Dustin Nguyen

Publisher: Image Comics

Jeff Lemire is so good at telling big, high concept stories and this sci-fi epic is one of his best. While the world-building, which has been masterfully explored by Dustin Nguyen, is right there with “The Incal” by Alejandro Jodorowsky and Mœbius, it’s the punch to the stomach that Lemire delivers nearly issue that leaves readers hungry for their next serving of “Descender.”

— CBR Staff Writer Jeffrey Renaud

As someone who’s been on both a cyberpunk and space opera kick lately, this series really connected with me by pairing Jeff Lemire’s smart dialogue and ideas with Dustin Nguyen’s watercolor-esque visuals and cool robots.

— CBR Staff Writer Paul Semel

14. Batman

Written by Tom King

Art by David Finsh, Mikel Janin, Ivan Reis, Riley Rossmo, Mitch Gerads

Publisher: DC Comics

Writer Tom King faced the unenviable task of following up superstar Scott Snyder’s enormously popular five-year run on the title, but confidently taking the blank slate that Snyder had left him, King wasted no time in quickly making the character his own, even adding a couple of his own creations. Ranging from high-octane thrills to subtle emotional undertones, King has indeed become the new king of the Batman franchise, helming the flagship title that has set the bar for the other titles — and on a bi-weekly schedule, no less. King’s approach to the character has been more traditional than Snyder’s, but that’s not to say it’s the same old Batman; rather, it’s been a remarkably fresh return to basics that’s anything but basic.

— CBR Staff Writer Jim Johnson

2016 saw “Batman” go from Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo to Tom King, David Finch and Mikel Janin. It was as if Elvis had to cut his concert short and brought in Bruce Springsteen to pick up the slack. Snyder and Capullo succeeded at balancing the more outsize elements of the Batman mythos against the relatively-realistic tone the series has long sought. King and Finch’s “I Am Gotham” shifted focus slightly, going for the tension between Batman as superhero and as tortured urban avenger. Likewise, King and Janin’s current “I Am Suicide” is (so far) a meditation on Batman’s desires and his abilities, as he tries to mitigate Gotham Girl’s tragedy. In short, all year “Batman” has seen its creative teams consistently at the top of their games, changing focus effortlessly in midstream with no drop in quality.

— CBR Staff Writer Tom Bondurant

13. The Flintstones

Written by Mark Russell

Art by Steve Pugh

Publisher: DC Comics

If you expected to find the sharpest comic book satire of 2016 in a “Flintstones” comic book then, well, you have oddly impressive precognitive abilities, because that’s exactly what writer Mark Russell and artists Steve Pugh and Chris Chuckry are delivering month after month in this adult-oriented version of the Flintstones. There are some awfully heady ideas being discussed in nearly every issue, and yet they are handled with enough grace and a strong dose of humor that the comic never reads as preachy. It’s just strong, sharp satire.

— CBR Staff Writer Brian Cronin

The smart political commentary no one expected, the new iteration of Hanna-Barbara’s “The Flintstones” is a thematic sequel to writer Mark Russell’s run on the criminally underappreciated “Prez.” The modern stone age family are decidedly more modern, as Russell and artist Steve Pugh explore issues of class, race and ethnicity, religion, technology, consumerism, and plenty more. Oh: and it’s hilarious. A yabba-dabba-doo time, if you will.

— CBR Staff Writer Shaun Manning

12. The Mighty Thor

Written by Jason Aaron

Art by Russell Dauterman, Steve Epting, Rafa Garrés

Publisher: Marvel Comics

This book is just straight-up gorgeous. Russell Dauterman and Matt Wilson make Asgard look its most fantastical and magical in decades. Plus, Jason Aaron just gets Thor, and I was delighted to see him flip from the hyper masculinity of “Thor: God of Thunder” to the high fantasy of “The Mighty Thor.”

— CBR Staff Writer Marykate Jasper

The saga of Jane Foster as Thor has been my favorite Marvel Comic since its inception. The entire creative team has taken what some considered a gimmick and turned it into a Marvel headliner.

— CBR Contributing Writer Tim Adams

11. Patience

Written & Illustrated by Daniel Clowes

Publisher: Fantagraphics Books

The latest original comic by acclaimed cartoonist Daniel Clowes, is another worthy installment in the creator’s impressive library of work. One of Clowes’ greatest attributes is how seamlessly his pop-art style can blend science fiction, surrealism and banal human drama without parts feeling incongruent or out of place. In his world, time travel is just as taxing on the mind as a horrible domestic situation or an abusive lover. Many of the same themes explored by older stories are present here, especially the frailty of hypermasculinity and people’s inability to escape themselves. Perhaps because Clowes is no longer an angry young artist, there’s slightly less rancor or despair in Patience when handling these themes now. Despite the “reveal” of the murder mystery being somewhat lackluster and one or two plot points being a bit questionable, fans of Clowes will still find plenty to love in this work, including a novelty for the creator; a happy ending.

— CBR Contributing Writer Sean Fischer

While Clowes was at the forefront of the sadsack realism (I mean it as a compliment!) that helped usher in the age of the graphic novel during its late ’90s/early ’00s cultural explosion, with “Patience” the artist fully defines what inventive literary comics can do in the here and now. While there are countless volumes of comics published these days crowing about how the trappings of genre entertainment can be remade in a literary mold, most of them are bullshit. “Patience” shows up every DOA nostalgia fantasy and then some by contorting the tropes of time travel fiction into a kaleidoscopic work of magical realism. But it’s not just the intensity of the visuals or the unexpected turns of the plot that impress. Like all Clowes’ work, “Patience” explores unseen dimensions of human loneliness in a way few other art forms can accomplish.

— CBR Staff Writer Kiel Phegley

A mind-bending little trip — definitely one of the most personal and harrowing takes on time travel, “Can you change the past?” narratives.

— CBR Staff Writer Michael C Lorah

Check back later today for the Top 10 of CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2016!

The post CBR’s Top 100 Comics of 2016: #25 – #11 appeared first on CBR.com.

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